Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 44. Shagaluf

Episode Date: March 28, 2024

This week we're comparing periods, Gemma rants about Cup measurements, questionable UK TV series' from the 2000's, more royal chat and a weird Am I The Asshole... Send your shit to [e-mail] or @TSYBPOD 

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Toronto's Blue Bin Recycling Program ensures the majority of the right items are recovered and transformed into new products. Recycling right is important and impactful. Let's work together and make a difference, because small actions lead to big change. For more tips on recycling, visit toronto.ca slash recycle right. hello and welcome back to talking shit with young kind of bread my screen froze right at the moment of recording and you were like just like that and it was that's my natural face yeah that's just how you take pictures

anyway hello hi hi i'm jemma welcome back to this is episode 44 can you believe it I'm really gonna get those balloons yeah going why are there no balloons that might have just been a shared delusion that we had or yeah I'm glad we had it together though because if it were just me I would have really struggled with that so how have you been how are you doing i'm good i got the troubles though you too the troubles yeah dumb this has been one of the worst periods i've ever had describe it to me every gory bloody detail Severely painful Usually it's just at the beginning you know But this time it's been

Every fucking day Rude And I've had enough And also I before we jumped on I had a shower Because I did stuff this morning and walked the dog So I had a shower Washed my hair and fucking water ran out So I had to have because I did stuff this morning and walked the dog. So I had a shower, washed my hair and fucking water ran out.

So I had to have a cold, freezing cold shower mid-period whilst in a lot of pain. And that is not nice. Like sometimes cold showers are refreshing and like, oh, I feel all alive. I was like, no, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to me. It's not good. Yeah, that sucks. But your hair looks really shiny. So it must have did something.

Yeah, I've been using new shampoo, new conditioner. It is shiny. Yeah. What kind? Tell me your secrets. Olaplex. Oh, yeah, I love Olaplex. I have it.

I don't think it makes my hair look shiny though, so that's cool. I haven't used it in a while, but... Tell me my hair looks shiny. It looks shiny, alright, fine. Thank you. Because when I'm on my period, I need compliments.

I don't know, like one and two and three or whatever? Ah, okay. Three is like the deep conditioning shit that you leave on for ten I don't know, like one and two and three or whatever. Okay. Yeah, I think. Three is like the deep conditioning shit that you leave them for 10 minutes and then four and five are shampoo and conditioner. Then that. That's what I use. Whatever the shampoo and conditioner.

I have like, I'm pretty sure I have all of it because you know how I just like to buy things, especially beauty products, and then not use them. Yeah. And then just don't use it. That's fair enough. You know, whatever makes you happy do you know what I've started doing recently to make me happy to get that dopamine rush is I went through a period of um especially when I was quitting smoking like the early days of that I just kept buying stuff because it was like a little dopamine rush that I wasn't getting from the nicotine I was just like I'm just gonna buy this because I need it

I just need to buy this and I was like I'm spending a lot of money so now what I do is I shop and I add things to the basket but I just don't buy it and that still gives me that little rush gives you that hit money yeah huh I I do that too i often will add things to cart but then not like pull the trigger on buying it and i wonder if that's because i got i get that yeah craving met yes you just need that little retail therapy yep but i also will buy things too so oh boy well how's your period oh well we're doing great obviously um it just started i'm pretty mad about it even though it's something that happens every month i act like it's a surprise like what is this i'm dying yeah i'm bleeding again what's happening um well like i said earlier i i caught it from you i think you gave into me

sorry about that just happens okay ah we'll enjoy the pain not too bad yet oh good well hopefully it's a pain-free pain-free pee period if you if it burns while you pee jemma you need to go to the doctor i was trying to abbreviate period, but it didn't quite work because he also means we. P.

Anyway. On a different note. On a different note. But so I've been doing lots of cooking and baking recently because obviously I'm doing this low-carb adventure. And what I've come across is a load of recipes that are based in the US

and everything is measured in cups. And this is driving me around the bend okay because a cup is a measure of volume it's not a weight so for example a cup of flour would be different in weight to a cup of butter. So trying to fucking convert those into fucking grams is driving me around the bend, okay? I've solved the problem because I bought a set of cups. So I'm now over it. But initially I was like, what is this madness?

Like, I just want to know what it is in grams. Why don't you use grams because we're stupid oh and i'm so sorry um some recipes are nice and will give you like a little like you have the recipe and will and yeah um but the thing about it is is it's like far more precise to not use cups especially with baking like when i was making a lot of bread during the early days of the pandemic, because I'm nothing if not a follower. If not a sheep. I noticed that like, yeah, I'm very much a sheep. Someone's like, hey, you know what's really popular? Opah pop. beating your face against a wall. Oh Pop Pop is really popular.

Try Oh Pop Pop today. I'll do it. I'll just be like, oh, really? Okay, yeah, I'll do that. But like a cup of flour, you need to measure it out because you really need like 230 grams of flour. You know, so I get it.

Silly. Very silly. But if you guys don't use cups as a measurement why do you guys have cups to buy because the internet is so American that I think we've been forced into producing cups the internet's American you heard it here first yeah it is the internet is american telephones are british canadian no they're canadian writing a letter is british that's right electricity can be british too oh yeah we invented that for sure just the country yeah i just why just why do you guys

insist on using like the imperial imperial measures we use metric you use imperial sure which is interesting considering you guys are like the kings and queens of imperialism. Hey! Prontum cha. That was full of puns. I don't know. I'm sure there's probably a reason. Oh, hold on.

That we could, if there's... Okay. Finally. Finally we got some use for that fucking thing. Where are the goddamn balloons, though? Yeah, where are the balloons balloons though where are the balloons congratulations surprise party celebration surprise happy pandas i feel like i was doing like the thumbs up when it happened it's not working i think we're too thirsty for it i don't know we're too thirsty for it um if only there was like a thing we could use to look up why the u.s uses

different measures in the rest of the world when it's apparent like but like you trying to get me to do metric system stuff it's too hard like because i was never taught it that i know it's easier but i don't know how as subjects from the british empire north america colonists inherited and used the british imperial system which itself evolved from a tangled mess of medieval weights and measures what but oh but hold on um I appreciate you thanks you're such a good listener I appreciate you.

Thanks. You're such a good listener. I'm just going to compliment you while you look this up. You make people feel important. Being around you makes everything better. Oh, thank you. It's just distracting you my brain sort of isn't working I'm reading words but I'm not taking

anything so it's come over from England but clearly at some point we've then moved to yeah something else moved to something else didn't something else like the months when we talked about how you guys write the date out

versus us you guys wrote it the way we do and then you guys were like nah we're changing it pretty much it's much cooler to do it this way maybe it's when we became part of the European Union. No, because that wasn't that long ago. I don't know.

I don't know and I don't really care, to be honest. And that's that from Kate and Gem. Gem. When you told me you wanted to have a rant about US cups, I thought it was going to be about, like, cups. Cups. And I i was like what could she possibly have that makes her angry about this well i have read about the stanley cups apparently giving people lead poisoning oh dear you're fucked oh yeah i knew that ages and it wasn't even because i've been fucked before stanley so who

cares and i don't care i always thought the stanley cup was a golf tournament i think that's a i think it's a hockey trophy the stanley cup i think yeah i think the stanley cup is a hockey trophy let's find out they named this large drinking cup the same thing? Okay. You know, I type in Stanley Cup and that's all that comes up. But okay. The Stanley Cup is a trophy awarded annually to the National Hockey League playoff champion. Oh.

Yeah. Cool. Well, maybe they used these caps. They named it Stanley because it's... No, I think... Well, I assume they named this after that because they're the same size. Wow. That makes sense. Yeah.

They are quite large. But it's got a cute little bear on it. Oh, yeah. It's got wings. See? He's cute. That is cute. Yep. Okay. Fine. His name's Stanley.

Expensive. he's got wings he's cute yeah okay fine his name's stanley so expensive yeah it was a birthday gift i didn't realize how popular they were yeah and i so they get i got it as a gift from a friend and i was like oh cool and then all of a sudden everyone's like, oh, like Kate, you are such a hip, cool, trendy person. You're like, I know. I always have been. I always, always have been. Yep. But yeah, they apparently have lead in them. And I think that's like not unusual.

But the thing is, is like I think when it's becoming exposed. I don't know. Mine's fine because it's the subtle plate that's here. Oh, okay. So yours is not unleaded, like unleaded diesel petrol. Yes, correct. Yeah. That's good.

That's good. I mean, you can buy one from Team U for £6.80. That probably has got lead in it. And knock off Stanley. Yeah. The whole thing. The straw. That's completely lead made, actually.

It's very bad, though, lead poisoning. Yeah. It really fucks you up. I mean, there is a whole generation of people that were exposed to leaded gas and... And in the water. They might. In certain areas. Be, you know, like you might have someone in your family who might have a little bit of lead poisoning, which would explain why they're so angry and agitated and probably conservative and voted for Trump.

We can't vote for Trump. Not you. The royal you. Yeah, next. His dad had lead poisoning because he was a roofer and worked on roofs with lead.

Got lead poisoning from that. Actually, I didn't wear gloves enough. Is he okay? Yeah, I think he's still alive. He's just slowly turning into a pencil yeah that's what happens to you yeah i know it sounds cool but it's really painful guys so don't like go get exposed to lead let's talk about tv shows okay let's you sent me something that actually kind of blew my mind when i saw it that existed it was a program that existed and then as we were like preparing to

record and start talking about other ones i was like oh my god like yeah this is a thing and i just forgot about it mean tv mean tv shows of the 90s and 2000s yeah so tell me about this one that you sent to me does this is a program called fat families where and it's not even like trying to hide that it's mean you're just big fat fat family it's basically this guy i'm not even sure what his objective was, just to basically tell people they were fat and that they needed to not be so fat. And he's not exactly a skinny mini. No, he's not, is he? No.

I'm bad, right? I'll play it. I'd love to get into something like this. And you can't get into these sort of things. Because you're too fat. Because you're too fat. Because you're too enormous. He's doing it like, you're glad I told you. Hey fatty.

How you doing? Do a kid. This is a kid. Don't call me fat. But you're fat. Are you okay? I'm not happy with this. I'm about to meet one of the fattest families I've met in my life.

Too much time sat on their fat bums, that's their problem. Plain and simple. If they don't pull out their chubby fingers, they'll be on the way to an early grave. Watch out, c***s, enough is enough. You don't burn it off, what do you become? Happy, happy! If you stay fat and eat rubbish and don't move at all, this here, an early death is possible.

I'd love to get into one of those. and early death is possible. I'd love to hear something like this. It's the way he says fat. He's like, he just looks so much vitriol when he says the word. You're fat. You're fat. You fat fucker.

I get that the message, like the overarching message of like, do you want to die young? Because you're so fat, you big fat, fat, fat person. I get that. Big, like the overarching message of like, do you want to die young? Because you're so fat, you big fat, fat, fat person. I get that. Big fat, fat, fatty. Yeah, I guess he, you know, he's trying to help the obesity crisis, but he's doing it in a very mean way.

Honestly, I'm surprised. Like we have like my 500 pound life right yeah and it's but it's more of like a document like i don't think i mean it's shaming in a way but not someone's not like popping out of a box going fucking fatty and but because but it's funny because like you i remember when i was in france last year and the people were staying with we're talking about like kind of stereotypes and i was like what do you guys think of Americans and of course it was like oh yeah that you're fat and I'm like trying really hard to lose weight you guys so the stereotype is more about us but of course like there's fat people everywhere you could have a fat person

in your family your neighbor could be fat you could be fat too yeah we could all a fat person in your family. Your neighbor could be fat. You could be fat too. We could all be fat. Yeah. You never know. We didn't have a lot of tact in the 2000s, I don't think. We had quite a number of programs that were looking back pretty bad. You know, things just don't age well, even when you watch, you know, things like Friends and whatever, which is still great to watch but there's the old joke on there and you're like oh that's like oh yeah not good um yeah but yeah we had uh so we've got, we had loads of like sort of makeover programs, 10 years younger, what not to wear, which I think you said you had over there as well.

Yeah, Stacey and Clinton, I think were the hosts. So we had Trini and Susanna and they were quite sort of like him like a bit harsh do you know what I mean they'd be like you look terrible in that like I can't believe you leave your house wearing that absolute shit show that you've got on there I want to kill myself you look so stupid and bad in that shit like that yeah Stacey and Clinton were a little nicer, I think. Yeah, Trini and Susanna weren't that much. I mean, sometimes shame and bullying is what works, I guess. Yeah, you know, treat them mean, keep them keen. Hush love.

I've never heard that before. What? No, treat them mean, keep them keen. Is that what men say about women? Yeah. Yep. That's say about women? Yeah. Yep. That's exactly where it comes from. We also had one called How to Look Good Naked, which wasn't too bad.

It was Gok Wan, who's like a fashion expert. And he would basically give people makeovers and like boost them up to make them feel better about themselves and you know like in the end they'd build up the courage to like do a naked photo shoot and have it displayed at the local high street and stuff like that um and i mean it was very tasteful do you know what i mean it'd be no no No. No. But no, yeah, fuck that. He was very nice about it. Do you know what I mean? He'd be like, you look great, darling, even if they were really fat and ugly. He'd be like, you look fucking fantastic.

Okay, so a little more uplifting. Good. Yeah, we do have very questionable programs here, as you know. Naked attraction. We've talked about that before. Where people willingly go and get completely naked and look for a blind date. You know, his penis is too penis-y, so I'm going to go ahead and cut him. She's got lovely flaps, isn't she?

Very tight. Very tight. very tight there's another one called son sex and suspicious parents what i can't i can't even imagine like is it a teenage because if it's teenagers trying to have sex without their parents finding out that seems inappropriate for television yeah i mean basically what would happen is yeah so sort of you know late teens early 20s people would go on holiday and you know i don't know if you have the sort of tradition over there but we have like shagaloof i mean i've heard that she like Magaluf, the place that people go over there to get fucked. Let's, let's, let's, let's go beg some birds.

Yep. But not the fat ones. Clearly not the fat ones. So basically, yeah, so the concept is that people in their late teens and early 20s would go on their first girls or lads holiday abroad under the belief that they were getting away from their parents. However, their parents are also sent on the holiday destination and secretly watch footage of their children on video to spy on their hotel rooms and at nightclub locations. And then the parents reveal themselves on the last night of the holiday to the dismay of the children and tell them what they've seen and learnt. So it'd be like your worst nightmare as a teenager basically i will say that for the most part i think my parents would be pleasantly surprised if they if that happened

they'd just be like oh well okay um kate drank a lot and then went to bed and then passed out from the core of the dance floor yep so like a different kind of embarrassment maybe but nothing nothing too horrible oh i'd hate it it'd be fucking horrendous me too for sure let me just say but i i'm thinking about all the things that would be the worst and i'm'm like, I don't think I would do that. We just even like, oh, just going to a club and dancing and having your parents watch that would just be so mortifying. Yeah. Oh, God.

Simple solution, just don't dance ever. That's what I do. Just don't dance ever. Don't dance, they're no friends of mine. Hey. But I will twerk on my mom. So there is that. I do the worst dancing on my mom.

That's why you're not embarrassed because you already dance like sexually on your mom anyway. Dance sexually on my mom? Why would you say it like that sorry my stomach hurts and i don't know if it's from horror or because i period the fact that you said that or period yeah who knows the troubles it's the troubles okay so i do feel like we probably have a show i i don't know why i can't think of it but something

where it's like your parents have been watching you the whole time and they're very disappointed in you kind of show i just don't remember what it is. I mean, it's this. Some of the press reviews were the Metro called the program brilliantly tacky. And said it's enough to make people practically wet themselves with excitement. Your guys' press is so weird. I know. Very strange. I am Napa. I am Napa. your guys's press is so weird i know very strange iron appa iron appa just looking at the locations they went to classic classic locations cavos malia zante iron appa are you saying words

yeah places in europe where people go i've I've never heard of any of those places have you been to any of them? no I haven't to be fair Ibiza is you must have heard of Ibiza you guys call it Ibiza I think Ibiza yeah

well because if I were to say Ibiza, I would sound very pretentious. No, it sounds fun. Yeah, you know, I go to Ibiza for holiday and, you know, just enjoy all the young people in Ibiza. Ayia Napa is in Cyprus, which is a Greek island. Oh, I want to go there. Well, maybe not there because probably I feel like an ancient person.

Like I can't go to places where there's the kids flock because I already feel old. Yeah, I would not recommend going to these places because it's where all the kids go to parties. It's just full of nightclubs and people throwing up. Yeah.

Yeah. Nice. Yeah, so that's, you know, that's the kind of stuff that we have to offer in England. That's what we used to like watching on telly. Just humiliating people and making them feel really shit about themselves. Yeah. I mean, so we had, excuse excuse me we have what not to wear like i said

it sounds like it's a little bit nicer the show the swan which is basically take someone super ugly and make them pretty through plastic surgery and personality changes uh and so i think there was like an undertone of meanness there because imagine what like the casting or like the like audition blurb would be right are you super ugly great do you want to be on tv and hear about how ugly you are or do you think they just went up to people in the street and were like oh my god you're super ugly do you want some plastic surgery yeah probably yeah i do thank you yeah that'd be great actually i've been looking for an opportunity to get my boobs done thanks um yeah we had like a show where they'd give like really poor people plastic surgery so it'd be like you know someone living on a sort of equivalent of a trailer park and they'd give them you know fake boobs or a set of veneers

um and it's like actually just with money to not live here anymore please actually in 10 years I'm gonna need to find another five grand to get these fucking replaced so you could help but just give me the money you would spend on the surgery for me I guess the equivalent that'd be great yeah that'd be if I could pay for you know my electricity bill that'd be great I'm super hungry actually haven't eaten in weeks what do you think the thinking into that was i don't know i did used to love watching them though you're like oh man yeah they're right poor and they need their teeth but like 10 years younger was like it was the premise was terrible because it was telling mostly women that they can't age because if you age then you look like shit um but there was some like there's one episode that sticks in my mind which was like a former

drug addict and she'd like lost most of her teeth and just hadn't looked after herself for years. And they gave her like a whole new set of teeth, which changed her whole face. Because you know when people lose their teeth and their mouths are like sunken in. So having new teeth like totally changed her face and her whole demeanor. And they like did her hair and gave her like some nice clothes and she looked fucking great afterwards um yeah so yeah they did some good i'm sure some people yeah that's why i really like queer eye you know like they do it from a very loving positive uplifting place and they do it for people who like are very, like they call them their heroes, right?

Because they're doing good for the community or something. But just like watching the reveal when they do the makeover, like that's one of my favorite parts because the people are like, they feel so good. Yeah. It is amazing. Yeah. Though I preferred it when they just did blokes.

It annoyed me when they brought women in you mean queer eye for the straight guy yeah yeah like the first series was i'm pretty sure all guys all straight guys and i loved seeing that like it's like a few of them are like proper rednecks and clearly had never dealt with gay guys before. And you were like, oh my God, how's this going to go? And by the end, they just fucking loved them and embraced everything and looked fantastic. And it was really lovely to see that transformation. And then, I don't know, they just started sort of bringing in,

you know, women that had helped the local school out and stuff. And I'm just like, I don't really care about this woman. I want to see a straight guy that hates gays. You want to see them not only change their face, but their attitude. Exactly. Their whole perspective on life. Yeah. I know what you mean.

I think that they branched it out more to like, it was less about like someone who deserves it because of all the good they do and they stopped caring about themselves. And it was more like, you know, this person has given up on life, could use a confidence boost, maybe has like a sheltered view of the world too and a little exposure might be good. I don't know, I just, I love the series. Oh yeah, I love love it i do watch it although i haven't watched the latest one it's good to be fair yeah so drama that's happened between bobby and tan and bobby like they all do something i think we all like could benefit from any of them coming into our lives, whatever. I'm not sure if he brings anything to that show.

He's like, I'm going to show you how to make a sandwich. One of the new, the newest episodes to the person's a chef. He's going to teach this person how to cook. Yeah. Okay. Antony's the eye candy. Yeah, I like him as a person.

Yeah, and he's funny. Sean and I used to joke like Cromo, but I feel like he actually, like when he sits down and talks to them and gets them to kind of be vulnerable, I think that is kind of amazing, but he's given up some therapy, man.

Yeah, but like Bobby, you hardly see him because he's too busy working on all the shit at the house and it's like, that's like one of the big yeah, and that's one of like the big things for people too. So I was sad to hear that, you know, they disbanded or he at least left so

it is a shame it is a shame he's one of my faves yeah me too me too there you go um there's another point i was gonna make about queer eye but i can't remember what it is it's just slipped out of my brain those damn troubles they make us such stupid stupid fad stupid women i got no iron left in my brain to think anymore you better go eat some steak i do have some iron vitamins downstairs i'm gonna take one of them because i've lost it all this past week it's terrible i ain't got no blood left to bleed i ain't got no blood left to bleed. I ain't got no blood left to bleed, man. BetMGM is an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League and has your back all season long.

From puck drop to the final shot, you're always taken care of with the sportsbook Born in Vegas. That's a feeling you can only get with BetMGM. And no matter your team, your favorite skater, or your style, there's something every NHL fan is going to love about BetMGM.com Thank you. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hey Torontonians, recycling is more than a routine. It's a vital responsibility. By recycling properly, you help conserve resources, reduce energy use and greenhouse gas emissions, and protect the environment. Toronto's Blue Bin Recycling Program ensures the majority of the right items are recovered and transformed into new products.

Recycling right is important and impactful. Let's work together and make a difference, because small actions lead to big change. For more tips on recycling, visit toronto.ca slash recycle right. Well, until you think of it, whatever point you wanted to make about Queer Eye, should we do Where in the World is Kate Middleton? Middleton.

Update. Yes, that was a lovely jingle. So. Thanks. She, was it yesterday she released? Yeah. Video. I mean, by the time this comes out, it would have been like a week ago.

But she, we're recording on Saturday today for those at home. Little sneak behind the curtain. It is March 23rd. March 31st. It is March 23rd at 10.05am for me and 3.05pm for Gemma. Correct. Yeah, she's released a video. Yeah, she's released a video.

She's announced that she had abdominal surgery. Said that initially she didn't, they didn't think it was cancer, but then it's been tested subsequently and she does have cancer and she's having treatment. So I feel quite bad, to be honest, of being involved in this whole conspiracy thing now. Well, it wasn't really about her. No, true. I mean, it was, but it wasn't about her. It was more like... She probably just wanted some fucking privacy.

And we've been like, where is she? Maybe she's dead. and we've been like where is she maybe she's dead honestly can i can i say something that might not be a popular opinion yeah when you're a celebrity or in a position like she is like you don't really get privacy you don't sorry i'm not saying it's right but it's the reality of it. And like they, the royal family didn't have to be the royal family. You guys, I think, had the choice. Not you specifically, the royal we again. Britain had the opportunity to not have the royal family and you guys still decided to have that.

And so like what else other than be in the public eye is there, you know? that and so like what else other than be in the public eye is there you know so and i think the royal press whatever we want to call them they announced king charles cancer they announced the queen's illness maybe not right when they found out but like the the reason the conspiracy theories and the speculation got as big as it did was because they refused to be forthcoming and transparent they could have just said she had surgery she's recovering like fuck off you know i mean that is what i did but then people were like something's not adding up here and then the video like the the photoshop and like the video and just like the bizarre subsequent things made it worse. They made it worse. They did terrible PR, to be fair.

Yeah. So that's what I mean when it wasn't really about Kate. It was more like, why are you guys being so weird about Kate right now? And so I still think there's something else going on. I'm not entirely convinced it's just her cancer. Well, you know, there's rumors that her and William are breaking up. I think what's happened is the younger generations in the royal family are trying to change things. They've been quite open about that.

And I think because her and William have got young young children i think that's why she didn't want it announced um why because she probably well she said in the video she wanted to tell the children and reassure them that everything was going to be okay and if they released it to the press then they would run wild with it and the kids might go to school and have people you know talk about it then and make it a whole lot worse and much bigger situation um so i suspect she was just like no i just want well not very long but it's coming to terms with that because she's quite young as well

the kids are very young and it is a fucking shit thing to learn and to come to grips with so I think maybe that's why and then because that's never happened before in the royal family they just did not know how to fucking deal with that. And they were like, oh, what do we do?

Let's release a picture. We'll Photoshop her face on. It's fine. Don't worry. It'll be fine. We'll get some body doubles to go to a shop. Yeah. But we still don't know really what the surgery was as well.

There are people online saying that, like, hysterectomy sounds the most likely. It could still have been Crohn's as well. Could have tested part of the bowel after Crohn's surgery yeah well I I think it's sad that she has cancer that's rough I hope I wish her well I wish her you know in that regard I just I still you know I think about all the things we've seen over the years with the royal family most of which I barely paid attention to or didn't know about at all. Like, they have kids. They brought kids into that situation.

It was their choice. So do your best to protect them. But also, like, the reality of it is, is, like, the public's probably not going to care about your kids as much as you do. So I get that they might want to keep it quiet for a bit. But, again, like, it's not – they can't be, like, shame on shame on you public for these conspiracy theories and stuff because like it was weird people i think did it out of concern for to a certain extent of course you know like you and i talking about it talked about it because it like took the internet by storm first of all yeah it's your country right like it's relevant to us in that way

but it was bizarre too so like it just didn't make any sense and i know maybe it's just a matter of we just made some bad choices trying to do the best we could fine then but like yeah i mean maybe it's like a really embarrassing cancer like rectum cancer or something she's like I just don't want people talking about my arsehole publicly yet keep talking about Prince William's arsehole instead that makes a lot more sense yeah I mean I feel bad for all of the things and like because you know now this rose hanbury got brought in and then there was the whole guy like supposedly kate had an affair with and had his baby and miscarried and he killed himself like all of that probably yeah because that's like

stuffed under the rug as well this suicide of this guy which i knew was fishy from the off because the way they released it was he died unexpectedly and i was like i just i think everyone has this weird morbid thing of wanting to know how people died like i want to know that's a very very normal thing i think they're just like oh our neighbor you know like how how'd they die right like it's kind of a natural thing to ask especially when it's celebrities or people in the public eye like when matthew perry died i was like how did he die i want to know how he died like what's going on um and they release it because they know people want to know i mean of course it takes some time it's not like it's like oh you know just looking at him it looks like he i don't know drowned like they waited i get it yeah i wonder why we i wonder why why do we want to know

what is our weird obsession our own sense of mortality i think death is one of those things that because it happens to all of us and it's kind of scary i think we have a curiosity about it um maybe out of fear i also think that it normalizes it a little bit yeah i think maybe it's like the being obsessed with true crime it's like a self-preservation thing wanting to know how to avoid situations or what to expect yeah something like that yeah it's weird it's like when you see like an accident on the side of a road and you're like rubberneck and then you cause another accident because you and you feel like really bad morally so i'm like oh god i really shouldn't be staring but i can't stop staring at what's happening weird isn't it

don't you think a part of it is like holy shit like what if that happened to me like i do think we also insert ourselves a little bit into stuff like that you know um but anyway well so this will probably be our last kate middleton update unless something else weird happens. Because we found her. She's found, guys. But, I mean, it's funny how people still, I mean, even when that video came out, you were like, oh, something's weird with that. There's flowers in the background and, you know, it looks like summer. But to me, I was like, no, that's what it looks like here now. Because all the daffodils are out.

I was inserting my own environment into hers. Which is, I mean, at the time, we finally got some snow randomly in the middle of March after like 90 degree days. So it's like, there is no way it is that nice there when it just blizzarded here. It's impossible. Our weather's doing weird things at the moment it's gorgeous sunny this morning and then it's been pissing down with rain all afternoon yeah can't win it's like england to me to be honest yeah it's just to be fair yeah yeah well there we go so you know yeah that'll probably be the end of the Kate Middleton saga.

Do wish her well. I mean, she'll probably get, well, she will get the best treatment available. Yeah. As always do. They'll probably inject her with some incredible drug that isn't available to the public. I'm sure she'll be fine. Yep. You know who I was thinking about recently whom? one eyed Paul

how is he? good old one eyed Paul I had to go back and listen listen to it because a colleague of mine who listens but is behind finally listened to that episode and had noted how enjoyable it was to listen to us crack up about one eye ball. I can't even remember how it came about now.

Okay, I'll tell you. Basically, we're talking about animals in shelter and you're like, one day I want to go and just like the dog that's been here the longest that no one wants. And I was like, Anne, you basically get a dog that has one eye, one ear, is in a diaper, in a wheelchair, vomits blood. You have to lock him up because people on the toilet, he gets triggered by that. And yeah, that's your dog. So how is he? Is he doing okay? He's fine, yeah. He's cracking on. He's, uh...

Popping blood everywhere. Yeah. I mean, that's why I had to sort this robe out the other day and do a bit of a spring clean because it was just building up. It was not nice. He's good. He's learned to

see round corners as best he can with his one eye. We've put a little mirror on him. I mean, it's convenient that the ear, missing ear and the missing eye are on opposite sides so that you can... It's kind of like a bat. It's like echo. Yeah. Anyway, so I tried to make an AI image of One-Eyed Paul, as I told you, and it just couldn't, even AI couldn't capture one-eyed Paul adequately.

It's weird. People keep saying that AI is, you know, it's going to take over, but it couldn't even give us a small-armed Colin. Yeah, I know. With a big net. I was like, come on. Typed it a thousand different ways, and at some point it just started giving me T-Rexes. I was like come on typed it a thousand different ways and at some point it just started giving me T-Rexes

I was like I don't know I don't want a T-Rex it's not a T-Rex called Colin it's a man called Colin with T-Rex arms T-Rex arms anyway but you know as everyone saw you know who follows us on insta

you know St. follows us on Insta, you know, St. Colin of Moldavia. Start getting your flat cans of coke and PB&Js ready. We will be celebrating that in November. Are you ready for an Am I the Arse Hill?

You know I am, baby. Baby. This one's a bit weird. But I just thought we'd go for it. Alright, cool. Let's do it. What I've noticed with the Am I the Arsehole at the moment is

a lot of them are sexual based. And it's all like young kids saying, is this normal because I've vomited on my boyfriend's penis and stuff like that. And I'm just like, I don't need those. And then the rest of them are, am I the asshole for wanting a divorce because of blah, blah, blah. That's what this one is.

It's just a bit weird. Am I an asshole for wanting a divorce after vomiting on my boyfriend's penis? Yes. Right? Is that what it is? Close. Nice. Okay. Am I the asshole for wanting a divorce because my husband insisted that my boobs were fake?

Okay. Okay. Let's go. Let's dive into this. right female 30 do have very large boobs a 38 g to be specific okay brag that is good for you me with my a's bitch yeah still don't have the back pain which you know oh and true and we can wear low-cut things and not have to worry about basically losing shit in our breasts i guess yeah but i can't hold a pencil under my boob which is disappointing no yeah me neither swings and roundabouts okay i've been with my husband, who's 33 and male, for 10 years. And while we have no children together, we are happy.

Good for you. Recently, he's been checking out my body more than he did before. And I don't mean in a let me take you to bed kind of way. It's more of a what could you be hiding kind of way. Now, I am by no means skinny. I'm 5'5 and 180 pounds. Nowhere near as good as I could be. Most of it tit, by the sound of it, yeah.

They probably weigh, what, 20 pounds each? 40 each. Puff, puff, puff. Sorry. 180 pounds, nowhere near as good as I could be, but I really don't have any motivation and I don't care as long as I don't look like I haven't showered in months and choose to be like that. analogy but there we go now I have a multitude of

scars on my body and my husband noticed one is under my armpit which I got from running up the stairs with my friend and scraping it down the corner of the railing in my old house ow second one I'm not even sure where it came from it's thin though so i assume from a childhood cat but it goes uh down down my side about four inches on my rib cage my husband has been getting into more shows about spouses lying to their partners and about things which i do enjoy watching myself so my husband randomly came up to me and started feeling up my boobs, which isn't out of the ordinary, but still random. I asked him what he was doing and he said, how could you lie to me like that? I asked him about what? And he said, my boobs.

I said, my boobs are real. What are you talking about? And he said, no, they're not. You have two scars by your boobs that clearly show that you had a boob job. And I told him, that's not how it works. They usually cut under the boob for that. And he said, no, they cut on the sides as well. And that I'm a liar for not telling him. What the fuck? I told him I wasn't lying and that he was being weird.

Cue an argument about them. And I left with our cats to my friend's house, to the exact friend I'd gotten hurt with, actually. I explained what happened to her and she called my husband and yelled at him. His mother also yelled at him for that, but his dad is on his side. After I agreed to come back home. This is that shit, isn't it? This is the dumbest. on his side. After I agreed to come back home, he said he'd forgive me if I just admitted they were fake. I told him that they weren't and that you'd see me when I was skinny and could tell that it was because of my weight gain.

He brung up the time that I had to go home, go to my home state, and I stayed for about six months because of my grandmother, who sadly passed away. My family does eat a lot of fattening food. does eat a lot of fattening food and when I left when I left for home I was 125 pounds and when I came back I was almost 150. Those eating habits transferred over to my home life and I never really got back into my healthy eating lifestyle. He continued to pester me about my boobs so I told him that I wanted a divorce or a separation at least and he backpedalled and begged me not to um but I'd made up my mind he called me numerous times after I'd left for a week crying and begging me to come home I told him no and that if he couldn't leave me alone I wouldn't come back he started throwing insults at me to which I hung up and now his friends and girl best friend are calling me an arsehole for wanting a divorce over a simple issue.

So, am I the arsehole? This one broke me. I have no words. Do what the fuck you want, gal. Whatever. I just don't know anymore. um i do what the fuck you want gal whatever i just don't know anymore i well like as i was listening i was like they've been together for 10 years she's 30 he's 33 which means she he would have known if she got a boob job but then i got thrown a curveball with her being gone for six months

so because i was like that means she would have gotten she would have actively chose But then I got thrown a curveball with her being gone for six months. So, because I was like, that means she would have gotten, she would have actively chose, like, before the age of 20 to get Gs. Like, and I assume if they are natural, they're probably not like, yeah, they're probably natural looking boobs, if you know what I mean. And my guess is probably that means they don't look like fake boobs. And the fact that he never said anything until recently, even after she came back, I mean, it's like, what?

So honestly, I want to say no, she's not the asshole. If he keeps harassing her about this and won't let it go, that would be really fucking annoying. So no, I mean, clearly, if this is enough to break, like kind of make you want a divorce, then probably there's other things too. If it's truly just this,

then maybe you guys need to go to counseling and you can work through it. But my guess is like, it's probably not. And if it's enough to make you want to not be married to him anymore, then he must have been relentless and problematic about it. Yeah. Also fake boobs feel different.

Yeah. Like I think you'd be able to tell just from a. Like immediately. Like you were, yeah, you were gone. Your boobs were one way. You came back,

you've gained some weight but your boobs are different and they feel different like they i can feel the whatever in them right yeah you definitely noticed that i'm actually like feeling my boobs to be like are they fake are they i mean they do feel different but that happens every month. Yeah. Yeah. I just, yeah. This is so weird, though. It is. It's so weird.

So weird. I mean, yeah, do what you want. I don't know what advice to give. What do the comments say? So, What do the comments say? So Top One says he's been with you 10 years why is he now asking if they're fake? I think she covered that. He's clearly got paranoid

because he's been watching shows about spouses lying and he's built up this thing in his head that she must have got fake boobs. She's definitely got fake boobs she hasn't. And I never noticed her scars before because i actually was too distracted by her giant titties anyways yeah um so not the arsehole both because his behavior is disrespectful and because he's too dumb to

deserve you it's not a simple issue he's literally calling you a liar about something you have no reason to lie about based on watching videos by dipshits who specialize in convincing gullible people to believe ridiculous things. Fair point. I mean, it isn't just, it's, I mean,

he is calling her a liar and constantly trying to get her to admit to something that isn't true. So like, what's the next thing you know like is he gonna start tracking you because he thinks you're cheating on him you know like seems to me like it could escalate to more yeah exactly it's just really fucking weird, isn't it? So weird. Why does he care anyway, really? Do you know what I mean? I mean, he could have just been like, do you ever have a boob job?

No. Oh, okay. Well. Oh, okay. Where do those scars come from? Oh, that one came from that and that one came from that. Oh, okay. Fair enough.

Done. Cup of tea? Yeah. Sorry. Go on uh this person says not the arsehole i'm a 38 double h been with my husband 13 years and he's never once asked me if mine are fake why real boobs real boobs real boobs feel real trust, a G-cup implant would feel like an implant. And you've had scars and been healing. You'd have scars and been healing for more than six months. And the cost, does he think your family paid for it?

Regardless, if your husband is policing your body and making accusations, it's not a simple issue. It goes deeper. I'd be out the door too. I had to Google 38 double H boobs because I just wanted to see what that looked like be careful so far they're all you know just like very tame pictures like mom with giant 38 boob 38 h 38 double h boobs set for terrified her breasts will kill her kids okay this is from the sun too so terrified her breasts will kill her kids. Okay. This is from the sun, too. Yeah, they... So it sounds like generally Reddit agrees with us.

Yeah, man, they're massive. Wow. Yeah. Oh, did you look too? Yeah. I mean, she's holding a bra on one it's like a sleep like a tent it can't be crazy no shame though i mean i they look i don't have big boobs so i don't know what it's like i imagine there's pros and cons to each

everybody's got their thing it's sad that he cares this much i guess yeah that he took it way too far so silly man silly silly man potentially lost your wife over accusing her of having fake boobies well done yeah yeah good job but you feel like an idiot now well there we have it feeling like an idiot yeah should we uh call it a day why not i think we've made big enough fools of ourselves so yes yeah we did we did as usual all for doing it for the plot and the likes and for you listeners at home we love you so much we just want to make you laugh and entertain you and make you think and you know maybe maybe make a friend or two i don't know yeah thank you for listening um give us a you know a subscribe a like follow

on whatever platform you are listening to us on we've also got social media which is at tsyb pod uh or on the insta we're on the tiktok uh might be on the youtube might be on the youtube but we are on the youtube we are on youtube but there's nothing on there um there's like one thing on there that's one thing if someone has any tips help yeah if we could get someone like an editor producer social media advisor who's willing to work for free that would be great but we'll be your friend if we're not already your friend anyway yeah oh thanks for listening and thanks for talking to me Catherine no thank you and by the way I love your confidence oh and I love your personality until next time ta-ra ta-ta bye-bye bye you