Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 47. Schexual Education

Episode Date: April 25, 2024

This week there's festival chat, Taylor Swift vs Beyonce, Wrong Answers Only game and of course an Am I The Asshole.Join the Talking Shit Chit Chat by sending your stories, questions, dilemmas or whatever you want to [e-mail] or @TSYBPOD on socials. 

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Download the app today and discover why BetMGM is your hockey home for the season. Raise your game to the next level this year with BetMGM, a sportsbook worth a sellie, and an official sports betting partner of the National Hockey League. BetMGM.com for terms and conditions. Must be 19 years of age or older to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have any questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Hi there and welcome to Talking Shit with a Yank and a Brit.

I'm the Brit. I'm the Brit. I'm the Yank. Howdy. Hola. Oh. Hola. Mi casa. Mi casa su casa.

I got made fun of in Spanish class in college because I had a terrible accent and didn't pronounce the words right and they're like are you even trying are you trying to say that the whitest you can say it and I was like no I'm sorry that's sad yeah I tried but bad just gotta roll your art't think you can roll your ass. You know I can't. How dare you? I can only do it the back of my throat and sound like Chewbacca and it's horrible and fuck

you Gemma. Well you should be good at French then because they do a lot of and German. They do that too. Alright. I'm going to download some language apps and start learning those languages instead. That'd be good. That'd be great. You can do a foreign intro.

Okay. I just, I think because I read a lot at a young age and didn't have, like, I didn't hear a lot of the words and my pronunciation skills developed that way. I'm a very phonetic pronouncer. I didn't hear a lot of the words and my pronunciation skills developed that way. I'm a very phonetic pronouncer. So instead of mi casa, I would say mi casa. Mi casa. That's kind of what I liked about Spanish, though, is that a lot of the words are pronounced how they're written. Unlike French, which they're not at all.

written well unlike french which they're not at all yeah french has too many additional letters in their words that you don't pronounce that because i took french for like a semester in like middle or high school before i switched to spanish and it was just like there's all these extra letters in here why can't i pronounce them it's just yeah it's's all these extra letters in here. Why can't I pronounce them? Yeah, it's not how it's pronounced. I can't speak. How it's written is not how it's pronounced at all. I mean, we could say the same for the English language. Yeah, I suppose really we could probably find a critique about anything. But supposedly English is of the hardest to learn.

Yes. And we've talked about this we have we're just revisiting subjects now you've had a you've had a busy week or two yes folks may have noticed that we took a week off we did thanks for your patience we went on a holiday, a little retreat, a little team building, creation retreat. We went to the Caribbean. Ah, yes, we did. I'm very tanned and sun-kissed now.

Me too. It's nice, isn't it? Yeah, I feel like I have skin cancer now, though, so that's fun. Yeah. I don't know if that's worth it. But we're much closer. We have a lot of great ideas for future episodes it was really great retreat our staff felt renewed and appreciative really boosted some morale there god i wish that happened i know wouldn't that be

nice one day maybe in reality we've been working yep okay more like you free this day no you no no i guess we'll just skip a week should we say anything nah i was gonna do a post now i shouldn't i forgot i had a gig and i was like now you've had a lot of gigs and a lot of gigs found out did we mention the glasto thing i don't know if we did on air but if you want to just take it from the top and talk about it. I'll take it from the top. So my band, we a little while ago did a showcase, which was essentially an audition amongst other bands to potentially get a slot playing at Glastonbury Festival. playing at Glastonbury Festival. Yay.

Yay, let's, let's, let's. And it went better than we expected. Yay. Got some good feedback. And then we found out last week that out of 60 bands, we made it to the top six fucking shortlist motherfuckers oh she did air guns

so that was really exciting and really proud of us it was really good and then they posted on Instagram I think it was thursday saying 6 p.m tomorrow we're announcing the result and i was like oh my god and hadn't really been nervous up to that point and then all day friday was super nervous and i also had two separate dreams on the Thursday where we got it and we won it.

And I was like, oh, my God, is that a sign or is that just me being presumptuous? Really nervous. And it turns out we didn't get it. It was someone else. But boo. Yeah, it was a bit of a boo. Was disappointed, not going to lie. not gonna lie however we we got to the top six out of 60 bands that auditioned i think that's fucking good and all the other acts have like really big instagram followings with loads of

fans and you know hundreds not hundreds but tens of thousands of followers and we have i think currently just under 200 so we'll do a little plug for the band oh yeah follow the band we're at burn the boat music give us a follow and uh check us out for gigs if you're in england sadly as much as i've heard you sing you've never seen us play I've never seen you as a band play and I think a big part of it is because you never invite me not because I live so far away no nothing never tell me when it's happening so I always miss it um but one day I will but I can speak from having seen heard you sing and like also other members of the band at the same time even if it wasn't the whole band or at a gig very good very good stuff oh thank you um you will be pleased to know that while Sean is here, we're playing three gigs.

Of course. I knew there was going to be one when I was still considering coming too, when we were looking at booking. And then of course, now that it's like, I'm not going, uh, you're every single day,

basically. Every single day. At very convenient times too. Yeah. Sorry about that. That's okay okay it's bank holiday weekend as well fuck my life it's fine maybe i'll just surprise show up yeah get sean to wear like a gopro yeah i was just gonna say maybe he could if he you know i'm sure he's gonna stream it yeah that'd be great okay i'll do that um speaking of Glastonbury, though, let's talk a little bit about that.

So it's a big, big multi-day festival in June. It's almost always around my birthday, which is pretty cool. But I've never been. Have you been? I have never been either. So imagine if the first time I went to Glastonbury, I was playing at it. I know it would have been like,

well, we have to go then. Like this is, even though I'm so old and can't hang anymore, like this is the time I choose to go and sleep in a field for three days. And I guess do class A drugs. Yeah. The only way you're going to survive that.

Yeah. I really want to go, but it's quite difficult to get tickets every year. And it's also quite expensive now these days. I've got mates that go every year. It's down in Somerset so it's like a couple hours yeah three hours three hours away kind of by stonehenge right yeah pretty near stonehenge um and it's yeah i've got friends that go like every year and it's like a it's not just a festival it's it's essentially a town yeah like on this farm it's fucking huge and like i've spoken to people that have been that say like

when you from the gates to walking to like the campsite can take two hours jesus christ that's Jesus Christ. That's how big it is. And the thought of that sounds exhausting. Yeah. Yeah. And then you have to, and then there's, you know, over 250,000 people, I think, that go. So you're camping in a field with that many people. Can you imagine trying to find your tent whilst drunk in the dark? No, sir. No, sir.

No, thank you. I can't. I can't can't yeah i don't know i'd need i'd need like a glamping experience or a camper van or a hotel but same but i do want to go because i mean it's an experience and it's apparently the best festival in the world. Yeah. I want to go. I, at this point, would need maybe some upgraded experiences. Old people. Sleeping arrangements. Yeah. Because I've heard horror stories from people who've gone, including Nigel, you know, where it's like, oh, it rained the whole time and my tent blitted or like it got trampled or people were getting robbed or so hot that, you know, you had to go like stand under a fence that was like to get the shadow or something like that, you know.

And it's just like, ah, like it really would be just nice to be able to go into like a building where I could use a toilet that 250,000 other people't used yeah and get a break from the elements yeah that's one thing at festivals isn't it it's the toilets yeah that's not fun like train spotting toilet scenario right i mean there's some festivals i've been to that i've done really well on the toilet situation and then there's others just fucking disgusting i'd actually rather not go to the toilet like i'll just fuck up my kidneys oh yeah i'll just hold it in for 12 hours i don't care yeah yeah well nice i know you wanted to talk about another festival yeah so coachella's going on at the moment or just what's going on yeah um and it just seems like

such a sort of American festival I mean it's just all about like celebs going and wearing cool outfits and uh yeah I think it's like yeah my I have never been but what i know about it is it's in california in coachella valley and i think probably whenever it started which was maybe i think when i looked it up maybe like 1999 was kind of when it started it probably probably wasn't. So it's quite new then. Yeah, it is new. I don't think it's become quite the like influencer, like who's who going to Coachella outfit sort of situation like it is now. And I feel like Glastonbury is not that. And I feel like other festivals in America like Bonnaroo is not. I've never heard of that.

Bonnaroo has been around for a while and I've known lots and lots of people who've gone and I do think it's a little bit more like Glastonbury it's okay yeah in Tennessee um and I think it's like very the music is way more I think varied in that you know it's probably a lot of bands that you don't know a lot of hippie hipster a lot of folk a lot of whatever yeah pretty lights fisher post malone red hot chili peppers you know they're the kind of headliners it's and you know maybe coachella's too it's usually in june as well um bonnaroo is but based on what I've heard from people I know that's gone, it's like camping, no showering, drugs and alcohol,

vibing kind of chill stuff, you know? Nice. That sounds good. But Coachella, I just like, it's like, I do think it's for the rich.

Yeah. It's like, it does seem that way. Which I guess Glastonbury is too, because it's so expensive. But it's not the wealthiest. It's not an elite thing. No. And apparently the vibe at Glastonbury is the nicest vibe at a festival you'll get.

Everyone is super nice. There's such a good vibe there, because they do say it's a very spiritual place, Glastonbury. And there's loads a good vibe there because they do say it's a very spiritual place Glastonbury and there's loads of ley lines and even the village or like the town of Glastonbury it's like there's loads of crystal shops and you know it's it's a very woo woo hippie place as it is yeah and that is just the vibe everyone seems to encapsulate at Glastonbury but I just imagine Coachella being like super stuck up and just like yeah yep what do you think the people in the town of Glastonbury or like Somerset how do you think I mean I'm sure they probably love it because it's like a big money maker and stuff but don't you think like fuck I gotta like leave for a while it must be a nightmare because I I've heard that

because obviously you can, most people go on the Wednesday before. It doesn't start until the Friday, but people go on the Wednesday to get set up. And all the roads around Glastonbury will be completely at a standstill with everyone trying to get in. It's a tiny little Somerset town. These are country, windy roads. There's no motorways down there or highways.

You can't back up when someone's coming the other way yeah go by it's like farmland down there so yeah it must be a fucking nightmare well i remember when we were going to cornwall for charlie and silas's wedding a couple years ago and we had to like kind of go a different way because it was all still glastonbury time yeah yeah and we were talking it's like too bad we can't go that way we could drive by stonehenge but like we will be in the car for 46 hours if we do that exactly we will miss the wedding yeah we had to go the coastal route didn't we rather which was also beautiful but it was just like oh yeah avoid it at all costs. Yeah, fuck that. Yeah.

Would you ever go to Burning Man? You know, like if someone was like, you can have all expenses. I'm just thinking about probably how much I would see stuff that would probably, I would need to go to therapy afterwards, maybe. Because I've seen and read articles about things that have happened at Burning Man. But if someone was like, all expenses paid, you will have very nice accommodations away from the fray. It's going to be like effortless for you. I would consider going for the experience and the people watching. But it's like Burning Man is my understanding of just like it's the weirdos. That's like the weirdos that come out like there's

a plane a guy will fly you up in a plane and you can fuck in it oh really wow like google sex plane burning man and i think you'll see it it's just like he flies you around so that you can fuck in this tiny little plane and i'm just like oh okay yeah it's that kind of it's that kind of which you know what great like I'm glad it's not shamey and stuff but it's also I just don't need to see certain things probably there's a sex plane at Burning Man that makes you wait in line for three hours to fuck in a tiny ass plane with two guys named dan and steve mere inches away oh great sounds super fun yeah i would quite like to go to burning man just because yeah as you say it's all the weirdos and uh i like all the like weird art that people bring and stuff it looks fucked up but also it's in the middle of a desert by the looks of it which would be horrible

oh my gosh though look at this crazy i don't what is this like there's a temple of together it's crazy yeah again i think it's quite um it's quite sort of spiritual and yeah isn't it? It's not even like a music festival, is it? It's more just like a gathering. Yeah, I don't really know what the fuck it is, to be honest. Let's see. What is Burning Man?

People wearing a lot of weird outfits. And there's loads of, yeah, like massive art pieces and sculptures. According to burningman.org, it is guided by the values expressed by the 10 principles, which I don't know what that is. Burning Man is a global ecosystem of artists, makers, and community organizers who co-create art, art events and local initiatives around the world.

Oh, there you go. Yeah. So I'm sure there probably is music, but I don't think it's a music example. It's not bass drum music, is it? No. Yeah. Yep. Well, maybe one day we'll be famous enough to go to Coachella

and weird enough to go to Burning Man. We are at least one of two of those things. Listeners, you can decide which one. We are going to a festival here in the Twin Cities this summer. It is new. It's called Yacht Club Music Festival. That sounds very posh yeah um it's two days and i was not like super pumped about it like the lineup was okay but some friends of ours wanted to go for one day and i was like okay yeah it's the day i would go to um here i'll tell you

who's performing actually you might be a little jealous oh uh because alanis is performing no yeah when was it i invited you can come it's july 19th you want to head on over yeah well actually the day we're going is alanis so um black crows jone jet jet um head in the heart and then some a local band that i've been wanting to see called duri um and then that's saturday is red hot chili peppers offspring gary clark jr would be cool but we're not going that day that'll be cool yeah um so you know that'll be nice because it's local and I can go home. We're playing at a sausage and cider fest.

Oh, when? When Sean's going to be there. June? Oh, okay. I can come over then. Yeah. Or is it May? I don't know.

It's my turn to come on my own. That won't be weird. Yeah. Actually, it wouldn't be weird, but it'd be kind of weird. No, it wouldn't be weird. Bye. Yeah. I'm going to go see your family and friends. You can't come.

I like the little festivals, though, the little new ones. That one I went to last year was really good. Yeah, the one in Hesham. It's great. It's lovely. We have like a weird mix of festivals here. So we have. There's like the Reading one, which I know is niches. Yeah, we have like Leeds and Reading, which is very rock. Email. Yeah. There's also Download, which again is very rock based and metal based. Alan's going to that this year actually um and then we have like there's other ones that some are like really

known for being where all the druggies go and everyone just gets as fucked up as possible um and there's lots of lovely little little ones we have loads here absolutely loads um there's so many in the u.s too there's lollapalooza which is a big one oh yeah i've heard of that it's four days um it's usually like rock metal punk hip-hop and stuff let's see who's playing this year it's in august um i mean there's so like that's the thing that like overwhelms me though looking at this lineup like jesus christ like's going to be people you want to see and you can't see all of them. But it's Tyler, the creator, Hozier, SZA, Killers, FutureX, Blink, Skrillex. And then just like those are the headliners.

But then just like looking at, you know, Benson Boone's getting really big. Japanese House, who I like. Renee Rapp, who played Regina Georgeina george and mean girls zed oh right yeah yeah lots of killer mike um yeah so i do like that for a lot of these festivals you can buy like a particular day and yeah like all of the days yeah I went to a day for Love Supreme last year which was really good that's like a like soul and jazz based fun but that one's pretty chill

yeah it's quite chill but they have some really good artists there and it wasn't too big do you know what I mean you can walk to each stage in five minutes whereas like with Glastonbury it can take an hour to walk from one stage to another yeah so you gotta plan it yeah there's one that's super up my alley that's kind of new my brother's

gone it's called the we were young festival which is basically like all the emo rock of our youth so it's like my chemical romance dashboard youday Parade. I think Paramore played. And they might be playing this year too. Say Anything, Amberlynn. Like bands that, you know, I really enjoyed as a child. A little baby. I think that's why it's called We Were Young.

We're all elder. You were young once. Yes. That's in Vegas, which is just like I've been to Vegasgas twice i kind of don't really care about it that much but i would go to that it's just a lot so much so many people yeah i know you mean like it can be exhausting i think it's just a sign that we are getting old tell you when i was young i would have lived for that shit oh god like i always wanted to go to the warp tour and i went to like a leg of it but it was like a small i don't think it was it was like warp tour light kind of in des moines

but you know like i was all about that shit when I was younger. Yeah. Same. Now I'm like, nah. Yeah. Now I want to go to like my favorite artists. Yeah. I want to see them. I just don't want to. Yeah.

Be there. In a tiny little venue where I can sit and listen to them and see them while I'm sitting. Because without fail, the tallest person in the room is right in front of me. Doing that. Yep. That really fucks me off as well. without fail the tallest person in the room is right in front of me doing that yep that really fucks me off as well i'm like dude just it's gonna be so shit when you watch it yeah why are you filming the whole fucking thing on your phone it's in my eyeline i can't see anything and you're not living in the moment yeah who's gonna want to watch this later with you no one no one cares i don't think i've ever re-watched something i filmed at like a concert ever so i just don't i got sean tickets to um blink 182 once it was there was like around his birthday so his birthday present but i got

like floor seated seats so they're a little more expensive the two tallest people in the world sat in front of us and of course people stand regardless of whether you have seats and I'm just like fuck fuck me it's like literally everyone next to them I could have seen over or bits but like the two tallest people unbelievable so isn't it ironic don't you think it's a little too ironic yeah i really do think anyway anyway that's what grinds my gears yeah that's what butters my oh but yeah that usually isn't that like a good thing though yeah like baby let me butter your bread let me butter your muffin do you like your muffin buttered can we butter your muffin for you can we assign someone to butter your muffin that's it i thought it'd be fun to play a game. Ooh, I love games. You ready for it?

It might not go well, but it could be really funny. Okay. So I think it actually is a card game, but it's also kind of like an internet meme, you know, when someone's like, oh, I'm going to ask a question, but then say wrong answers only. Yeah. I'm going to ask a question, but then say wrong answers only. Yeah. So I thought I made up some or I wrote down some questions to ask you and you just off the top of your head, wrong answer only. Okay. They'll be simple, some of them.

Some of them maybe less so, but we'll just see how it goes. All right. All right. So question number one, what is the first thing you grab when you wake up? Tampons. I was really waiting for you to be like penis. No, I went for. That would have been the right answer.

Tampons. With that fail every day, no matter what, you grab a tampon. It's what you reach for. Of course. Just in case. Just in case. That makes sense. You've got to bung that pole. Even if that's not what you're going yeah of course just in case just in case that makes sense you gotta um bung

that pole even if that's not what you're gonna use it for i mean they're so multi-purpose brush your teeth uh stop a nosebleed that you inevitably have when you wake up clean out your ears you know yep uh what do you keep in the fridge? Pianos. You were like, that's the right answer. I keep that in the fridge. You were just like, nope, can't say that. Nope, eggs. Oh, fine. I went bananas and chocolate.

And then I was like, no, I'd keep both of those. I don't keep them in the fridge. They are things that could go in the fridge. What is the best place for a first date oh oh god i can't think of anything um the boot of my car the boot of my car and what would you do on that first date in the boot of your car well they'd be tied up so romantic i was like my grandmother's funeral, my wedding, the morgue, tax preparation.

Boot of car is not what I was anticipating, though. Okay. How did you meet your partner? um how did i meet my partner you're like i actually legitimately don't know he just showed up in the head of the ether he did and told me that we are together that is that i was really hoping you were just going to be like, jail. Yep. We gazed at each other across the bars. And we knew that we were meant to be.

How did you meet me? Sorry, Siri just piped up and turned on a podcast. Sorry about that. Oh, which one? My therapist ghosted me. Nice. Good one. How did you meet me? Oh, on a rollercoaster. Obviously. Which park?

Alton Towers. I know that one. It was in the book I was just reading. Was it? Yeah. I think it's closing, actually. Aw. I've never been there.

Where's it at? It's like up north. Up north. Up north. Roller coaster. And we are also like, do you want to start a podcast? I really like your scream. Want to start a podcast?

Yep. I mean, how else do you start podcasts? Yeah, that's how they all start. What's the best way to prepare a fine cup of tea? Ah, whilst flying in Burning Man's sex plane. I was envisioning you're saying like, stir it with your foot. But you only can make tea while you're in the sex plane. It's the only way.

I mean, you've had a lot of tea. That's how we learn here. Don't know how you guys make tea or coffee. With our feet. Gross. Who's the President of the United States? Tina Turner. Is she still alive?

No, I think she's pretty sure she's dead. Better than what we've got going on in the past couple like you're not far off yep okay so who's in charge of england i don't know why i wrote it like that like prime minister or. Wrong answers only. Whatever. Probably Taylor Swift. Yeah. She seems in control of a lot of things. Yeah. Have you checked out her new album at all?

No. I don't think I've ever listened to any Taylor Swift albums. Right. But you've heard songs, but you've never just been like, oh, yeah, I'm going to go to my music app and play this album through. Is that what you mean? Yeah. Because you know her songs. You know some of them anyways.

I know some of them. Unpopular opinion. I think she's very overrated. I don't disagree. Good. Okay. I mean. Well, I might get cancelled.

No. We might. Don't disagree. Good. Okay. I mean, I canceled. No, I, we might, but I am not a Swifty. Like we talked about how I got to go to her concert. It was not a good show. I'm sure she does. Yeah.

Yeah. I just find her songs. Very one dimensional. Yeah. To be honest, I just don't get the hype, mate. Yeah.

I don't get it. I don't. There's, there's, I like one song, which is, I knew you were trouble when you walked in. Two. Yeah. The rest of them, shit. Some of them are very catchy.

I'm not saying they're good, but like, I don't know about you. I'm feeling 22. Yeah. Yeah. But that sort of stuff just makes me want to jump out of a window a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. But that sort of stuff just makes me want to jump out of a window a little bit. Well, this new album is very unlike those songs we just sang. Oh, is it?

Yeah. Is she on a new vibe? Well, I think she's been on this vibe for a while because if I recall correctly, like some of her albums that came out during the pandemic, like Folklore or Evermore, they're like very chill, whatever. I don't know. Okay. Okay. some of her albums that came out during the pandemic like Folklore or Evermore they're like very chill whatever I don't know okay so she's not like writing about her exes anymore I know she still is it's just not so poppy well maybe I'll give one a listen you never know I might I might like one like one is maybe actually so on I haven't really checked it out, but I am on Twitter slash

X and people were talking about it because it just got released, right? And she's on tour. Like, man, she works. I mean, she does. And, you know, there's kind of like the love or hate and people are like, I don't get it, you know, blah, blah, blah. But apparently it's about Matt Healy, this album. Oh, okay.

Yeah. She's with that American football guy now isn't she travis kelsey yeah she loads pictures of those too yeah when they break up i think her she's gonna probably go back to country i just feel like that's the vibe she's gonna have to sing about him maybe she'll follow on from beyonce which yeah you know listened to her new album the other day fire really. Really enjoyed it. So I don't care about country. And I've also kind of been like,

I'm kind of indifferent about Beyonce too. Have seen her in concert. Also very good show. There's, I like several of her songs and know them, but I'm not like, I'm not in the Bay Hive or whatever. But I did enjoy when she released over the Super Bowl, Texas Hold'em, that's a good song. It's a bop. It's a bop. but I did enjoy when she released over the Superbowl, Texas Hold'em.

That's a good song. It's a bop. It's a bop. And I do like, I like the Beatles. And so I appreciated her cover of Blackbird. I saw a very extensive opinion from many people on social media about Jolene. I guess I don't really have any thoughts about it.

That one was a bit weird to be honest. Yeah. I wouldn't say I'm like beyonce's biggest fan but i man i appreciate her fucking talent like yeah one that woman kane sang yeah two she fucking goes for it during her shows like her dancing the production everything is out of this world and she never hits a bum note she never mimes she's fucking unreal she's like she's a modern day like tina turner a real respect like i was gonna say wrong answer only she's a modern day day bill clinton yes both of those things um but her last her last album renaissance wasn't for me oh really no i gave it a once through was like don't really like any of them songs usually there's a good few where i'm like fuck me that's a great song i'm saving that to

my like songs. I gave this one a go. I listened to it all while I was cooking dinner and I was like, damn, that's a tune. Damn, that's a tune. Damn, that's a tune. I like it. I have to remind myself what's even on Renaissance

because that's, like I said, I don't know. The only one I really remember is... Break My Soul, I guess. Yeah, Break My Soul. Yeah. I'm like I said I uh the only one I really remember is um break my soul I guess yeah break my soul I uh wasn't initially not a huge like I didn't care that much but I really do like reformation the song do you yeah is that the right yeah maybe is that actually the song maybe I'm wrong I don't fucking know because i just can't really remember anything from it but i do like the fact that she like reinvents herself formation not reformation formation yeah yeah yeah yeah that was on lemonade um yeah i enjoyed lemonade it was a nice angry album. Yeah. Which was fun.

I enjoyed the anger. I agree with you and all of those sentiments about her as a performer. Can't criticize her there. I also very much loved Destiny's Child. Yes, me too! I've never seen Beyonce live, but I have seen Destiny's Child live me too I've never seen Beyonce live

but I have seen Destiny's Child live me too it's my first grown up concert I feel like well not grown up but like I feel like concerts I've been to before is probably like Sesame Street on live or something so I saw them at a festival actually

in Hyde Park in London just a little day festival I went to and they were there was this before in Hyde Park in London, just a little day festival I went to. And they were there. Was this before they broke up or did they have like a little? Okay. So, I mean, I was like in seventh or eighth grade when I saw them. So you were in fifth or sixth grade going to festivals? Cool.

Yeah, I went with my parents. I bet they had a great time. Oh, I did. It was a family fun day out. All right. You ready for a few more questions yep what's in shepherd's pie horse and there were some shepherd's pie with horse in them probably for a while here we had a little horse drama gross yeah they found out a lot of a lot of homemade or, you know, pre-packaged lasagnas

and shepherd's pies were actually made out of horse meat. Yum. So that's a right answer. Try again. Okay. Okay.

Insoles. Of shoes? Yes. Namely namely trainers or sneakers as you guys used used insoles what is your biggest fear living to an old and ripe age yeah that sounds horrible um could you describe how car engines work yes of course um mainly what happens is we capture fairies from the isle of sky in scotland Scotland squeeze them really hard and out comes a juice called

called called bubble wrap and what we do with that bubble wrap is we insert that into car engines and magic happens and the car starts. I think my favorite part of that was like you miming the squeezing of the ferry.

It's done by hand, you know. That's why cars are so expensive. Yeah. All this hand ferry squeezing. Squeeze that. Okay. I'm okay. Could you explain to me how babies are made?

Oh, God. Robots. Oh. Yeah. A little more detail, please. So, little known fact, up please so what little known fact but um in in the sexual act um what actually happens is sperms are little robots um and they actually steal the egg and then fly away after the sexual act has happened and create a little...

Have you ever seen The Matrix? You know, they've got little pods. They grow them in those. And then the woman thinks she's pregnant, but she's actually not. And then at the hospital, they just switch them out really quickly. All she's doing is having a massive poo it's just really bad constipation and then the robots come in and they're like oh baby here you go

well done but somehow the babies aren't robots no no no don't be stupid that doesn't make any sense just adult male sperm or like The babies aren't robots. No, no, no, no, no. Don't be stupid. That doesn't make any sense. Just adult male sperm or like mature male sperm, I guess. It's a robot. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how it happens. That checks out. Thank you. Because I feel like I've been lied to my whole life. You have. What they've been telling you in sexual education is completely wrong. I couldn't say shactual then. Shactual.

Shactual education. Sean Connery. Okay. What's the best way to say no to drugs? Have a banana. Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Works every time. Works a charm. How do our brains make memories ah well what happens is uh it's quite a complicated one actually so the brain is almost like a fridge. Okay. What it does is it refrigerates memories, freezes some of them, some of them die.

This is actually kind of what happens. Some of them go moldy. But we keep them in that fridge forever until we get hungry. And that's like the recall process? Yeah. And then we open the fridge. And we

grab a little memory food. This one's got a little bit of like freezer burn but it's still okay okay two more i think why are bees going extinct um well because it's actually something i'm very passionate about people using too many fucking pesticides but that's the correct answer. The wrong answer is that dogs eat them. Dogs just are eating. Jess, I was actually thinking like Jess singularly is responsible for the bees going extinct. And before that, it was her ancestors.

She does actually try to eat bees sometimes. Does she ever get like stung and then she hasn't yet no i'm like don't eat the peas fucking hell i feel bad for them but like it's really cute when you see a dog with a really swollen um okay last one are you ready please explain to me and the listeners why kirsten stewart is your favorite actress of all time and why she's the best actress of all time and go well her skill is unprecedented um and i think she displays more emotion than any actress I've seen. Quite the range. Quite the range, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I just feel that she really emotes someone of high calibre and I really also love the fact that she cheated on Robert Pattinson with a married director like she's an idol and someone to

look up to and her betrayal of Bella Swan was Emmy worthy, quite frankly. Emmy's TV. Oh, Emmy's TV. Okay. I guess that would be wrong. What's films?

Emmy worthy. Emmy worthy. Yeah. Emmy worthy. And Olivier Award worthy worthy there you go well done thank you well it was really hard actually i yeah i mean it's one of those things where it's like if if you maybe just say what the first thing on your mind it might be the right answer if you think too long and then it's kind of like oh fuck this is getting too hard now yeah and then you just have brain fart and i'm just like i can't think of anything my favorite is still squeeze

the fairy get a juice called bubble wrap unrelated to the actual bubble wrap yeah it's not that i looked down and saw bubble wrap down i was wondering you were looking around your room like what can i call this juice? There's nothing in here that reflects juice. Shit. Oh, gosh. That was fun, though. I actually did quite enjoy that. So thank you for

thank you and thank you to those at home for letting me test that one out. I enjoyed that. We'll do that again. We'll have to. You can think up some questions for me excuse me sorry I'm on beverages now oh no should we do

am I the asshole or do you wanna yeah am I the asshole you know you are, baby. Oh, I like the reverb there. Thanks. M, M, M, M. I, I, I, I.

All right. Am I the asshole for calling my dad a pedophile? Maybe. Maybe. Look, we have the same kind of phone case, kind of. Oh, yeah. Green. So green. So green.

So green. So green. So green. I love us. Okay. My. 15. I love us okay my 15 dad 38

just dropped a huge bomb he said he's dating the daughter of his friend who's 16 his friend's 38 female ew

and that's illegal. Sorry. I'll let you finish. Right notes. This is also a friend he used to date, so he's dating his ex-girlfriend's daughter.

She isn't very happy about it, and neither are their mutual friends. He vented about it to me, saying that they're being unfair to him. And I just said, what do you expect, Jacob Black? Mum made us both watch movies with her back when they were together. So he got the reference. I don't get the reference.

Do you get the reference? I'm looking it up real quick. I thought Jacob Black was... Oh, Twilight. Twilight, yeah. I still don't get the reference real quick i thought jacob black was oh twilight twilight yeah taylor latner's character i'm guessing because he imprinted on oh yes he did bella our idol queen kristin stewart there's morel or whatever they called that fucking child fuck it was renez may renez may there we go she just merged her the two mom's names together which yep we should all do yeah

de brandy de brandy ken dandy kendera there we. Okay. Anyway, we digress. As he went on about how he did nothing wrong and told me that, sorry, I can't read. As he went on about how he did nothing wrong and told me he's going to give them a piece of his mind, I told him that most people won't listen to a pedo. And that's when he slapped at me. He slapped or snapped? Snapped, sorry. He quickly got in my face and said that it's pedophile if the girl is pubescent,

but this girl is already 16 and that I shouldn't slander him and that she's over the age of consent where we live and that he hasn't done anything wrong. Am I the asshole um no i mean i'm sorry i i don't know where they live 16 is often the age of consent in like in many states it is and but there are still statutory rape laws yeah so i don't i mean i think the term pedophile has a there's like a true definition of what a pedophile is but it's also like kind of colloquially colloquially used for anybody who's maybe like there's you know you're attracted to someone you

shouldn't be right who's a lot younger so i don't think like even if it's not technically true because her dad isn't maybe meeting the actual definition of of pedophile um no i like i think her dad's an asshole for a variety of things, though, including dating a 16-year-old when he's almost 40. Yeah. And also getting in his daughter. I mean, he's dating someone one year older than his minor daughter. Yeah. Fucking ew.

He's basically dating his daughter. Yeah. Why could he not see that like and there's also this i just got a calculator out for this but there's a 22 year age gap yeah what are they talking about there's very like you would 40 to 60 maybe fewer differences yeah Yeah. 20 to 40, many differences. 30 to, oh God, like so many differences. Gross. I wonder, like I also wonder how long, like did he target his ex for her daughter?

Yeah. Did he groom this daughter? Did he like, and then he was like, I'll just wait until she's 16 then I'm gonna dump my ex and start dating because it's like age of consent no sir call the police yeah someone needs to call the police someone should call the police should we call the police yeah um so no you're not the arsehole ask him his thoughts on if a 38 year old man

wanted to date his own 16 year old daughter somehow they often suddenly have a big fucking issue with the scenario i bet he'd be like no i got my friend who's interested you want me to set you guys up yeah we're in a club god fuck oh god um someone else said move in with your mom yeah i was just thinking like not only like in and of itself dating this child but then him getting in her face is like bye yeah someone's got issues and it's your dad yeah for sure um someone else said i'd be telling everyone that didn't run fast enough that he's into children he's old enough to be her parent just because it's legal it doesn't make it right yeah it's fucked up um so no any comments defending him i'm just curious um people talking about age gaps someone said what you said about him possibly grooming his ex's child.

Age gaps matter based on the bottom age of the gap. And when the bottom age of the gap is a teenager, any gap beyond a couple of years is going to be problematic in the vast majority of cases. No, can't see anyone defending it good pretty much on the same page

good yeah call the police move in with your mom don't talk to your dad anymore maybe go to therapy because that shit gonna fuck you up yeah this might be hard yeah sorry you're going through that yeah for sure i mean the legal age in the uk for consent to sexual activity is 16 but still

but do you are there not rules about like adults and children? Because like 16-year-olds and 16-year-olds, right? Like it's called statutory consent here. While you're looking, in Minnesota, the age of consent is 16. This means any child between the ages of 13 and 16 are legally able to consent to sex with anyone who's no more than two years older than them. Oh, okay. Really? Yeah. So anybody outside of that, it's illegal under statutory consent. Okay. Let me look.

Or statutory rape is another, because they're old enough to consent, but not really, you know. So in the UK, the age of consent is 16. Anyone aged 16 or over, regardless of gender or sexuality, can legally consent to sex. There are exceptions to this rule. It is illegal for anyone in a position of trust to have sexual contact with anyone aged 17 or under. Teachers, coaches, priests, doctors, yeah. In a position of trust to have sexual contact with anyone age 17 or under who is in their care. Teachers, coaches, priest, doctors, yeah. Yeah.

Someone in a position of trust includes teachers, youth workers, sports coaches. It's a criminal offence for anyone in a position of trust. Yep, obviously. That's pretty much it, though. It's also illegal for anyone under the age of 18 to take have taken and or send sexual images of themselves even if this is to a partner and they have fully consented to having this picture taken or taken themselves so okay statutory rape in england is basically under the age of 16 even if they consent so it's a little bit different interesting so a 16 year old and a 40 year old wouldn't maybe would be considered taboo and immoral

there but technically not a crime no technically not illegal gross gross well well Well. Well. Wrong answers only music festival and pedo dads. There we go. That's the gamut. Sums it all up. Yeah, it's the gamut today, I feel like. Well, to end on a higher note, what's something good coming up for you? Well, I'm going away next weekend actually oh yeah can't tell you where though i know where okay you already told me good it's your trip with

alan right yeah it's his birthday and it's a surprise so i don't want to say out of here wait so this isn't the trip you told me about then maybe that's next month out of here wait so this isn't the trip you told me about then maybe that's next month yes oh well you can tell me off air next month yeah yes you can tell me off air then what you're doing but that's exciting happy birthday to him um i hope you do a good prank oh i could couldn't i i could take him somewhere awful yeah i'd be like this is where we're staying yep that's not going to do that take him to the dumpster behind the

weather spoons yeah happy birthday baby well something good for Nigel I guess he's coming over he'll be there this time next week um you get some peace and quiet i guess finally god he won't shut up um i'm excited for him but bumped for me but i suppose you know i will be busy working and yeah how fun for you yeah i might get my nails done this week that's exciting oh that's nice

they're kind of long i figured i'd go get a manicure just treat myself i cut mine off today mine were really long and i just thought you know i'm sick of this kind of typing hurts when they get really long that's why i'm off yeah yeah i'm gonna have them shave them down a little bit but not too i mean they'll be a little bit longer but yeah what color should i do wrong answers only gold all right gold it is Well, please send me pictures of your dumpster behind Weatherspoon getaway. I will. And I hope you have a nice week. I hope our listeners at home have a nice week.

I don't. I hope you have a terrible week. Yeah, you know what? Me too. Fuck you guys. Okay, bye. Tell us about your terrible weeks at TalkShit to us at gmail.com or on social media at tsyb pod you can find us on twitter slash x i hate saying x so stupid stupid instagram

tiktok i'm probably other places i don't know and also write a review subscribe download whatever give us stars tell us you love us tell your friends that'd be hide your kids hide your wife and hide your husbands yes we're coming for you baby baby well well on that note i call it farewell i bid you farewell. I bid you farewell, but I'm going to leave you with this parting message. Haul it, ball it, never call it. Women are objects. It's from Community. I didn't make that up, I swear.

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