Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 48. Strangers Farts Are Better

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

This week the girls are talking sh*t about what they've been up to, they delve into 'fractionation dating' and play another round of Wring Answer Only. Send in your sh*t to [e-mail] or DM @TSYBPOD

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Hi. What up? What up, girl? Talking shit with a yank and a Brit. That's it. The honey, honey, come wide. DKNY. All up in your eye. Gotta. Prada. Bag with a lotta. I'm gonna stop now before we get sued. Probably a good idea. Yeah. Nice skills, though. Thanks. I don't know if I got all of those lyrics right but i that is the one song that i generally know most if not all of the lyrics to and probably should do it more at karaoke you should actually yeah next time we go to karaoke did it at your house didn't we

oh i don't know i was very drunk still hung over from that. Anyway, how are you? I'm well. First day back of work today after a four-day weekend, and it was, you know, fine. I should also say that you are Gemma the Brit, right? Oh, yeah. I am the British one, in case you couldn't work that out it's confusion about that and you're the the American the Yank I am I think you know I be and Yank Stan is slang for septic tank oh no it's not septic tank is caught me rhyming saying for yank yeah yeah okay and

honestly that's what i thought you said so i was like no that's right yes i wasn't listening um anyway just talking to you and brit and i want to hear about g's little trippy. A little trippy. It was wonderful. Went up to Wales, South Wales we were in. And stayed in this company called The Welsh Farm Glamping. Okay. Which I just came across on Instagram on like a reel. Which I just came across on Instagram on like a reel. And it was around the time I was like thinking about what to do for Alan's birthday.

And it kept popping up. And then I checked the availability and lo and behold, it was available for his birthday weekend. So I booked it a while back. And we stayed in, they have three sites. I was just going to ask you which one it was. We were in the Yurt Hideaway. Oh, looks lovely. It was so nice, literally.

I've never been to a place where as soon as you arrive, you feel the vibe. Like we literally got out of the car and just both relaxed. I don't know what that's like. So we got there. It's on like a little farm. And it was tucked right at sort of the back of the farm. You drive through and like up this little dirt track. It's like in this little woodland area and you park

the car up and then there's this like gorgeous little like homemade boardwalk winding through the woods um which then takes you into this little clearing and there's a yurt and a shepherd's hut with like a gorgeous bathroom in it um a fire pit a pizza oven and a hot tub and it was just so not even even when we got there it was raining but it was just awesome that year it looks cozy as hell it was you know they got a little log burner in there really i almost wanted to rain at least one night yeah just to look at it were the cows right up in your business? No, they weren't, unfortunately. But we did drive past some cows and sheep.

Yeah, it was just awesome. Just like the bed had like heated blankets. And so it was like super cozy and warm. And there's like a little kitchenette in there. Yeah, just literally as you're describing this, I'm scrolling through the pictures and you're just hitting all of the things, like bed, kitchenette, pancakes. That's it. Yeah, we just, you know, we lived our best lives

and made pizza in the pizza ovens and sat and drank wine in the hot tub all night, both nights. Nice. It was just fucking lovely. I didn't want to leave. I just felt so calm and relaxed and now i want to live in the woods in a yurt thank you please bye it's gonna be hard to do this podcast but we'll figure it out well i thought i could probably do it you know i could find somewhere

with an internet connection once a week they had electricity in there so they can get into it shortly yeah it looks gorgeous I'm pretty jealous it was fucking lush highly recommend to anyone it was great fucking loved it can you do a Welsh accent I can whose

coat is that jacket whose coat is that jacket is that jacket? Whose coat is that jacket? Is that a thing? It's just saying that I know. Okay. Nice. Whose coat is that jacket? And you say, you know, you're from the valleys.

It's funny. When I've been to Wales before, I've been to North Wales a couple of times. Not many people there had a Welsh accent, which was very disappointing. Is it just, they just are British sounding or what? Yeah, just, you know, normal southern accent like mine. But in South Wales, where we went, quite a few Welsh accents. Interesting. It's very nice. I was just going to say they sound very like kind of

as if they were the southern country equivalent of an accent, you know? Like you get that kind of like lilt that I feel like southern draws have, you know? Yeah, but it's the other way around in Wales.

Yeah. I always like to say that Australia is the Texas of England, too, because, you know, Australian accents and how they sound. Australia is the Texas of England. Brilliant. Makes no sense whatsoever. Kind of like whose coat is that jacket? Coat is that jacket. I think they call microwaves

something like pickety pongs or something so they also love having nonsense words and phrases for things got it or it's just we are being horrible

and making fun of them. No. Okay. Let's caveat that with a poppity ping. Is that what it's really called? Because that's the noise it makes. Yeah. Makes sense.

Well, I like it. And I'm going to start referring to my microwave as that because microwave is ridiculous. I like microwave. as that because microave is ridiculous i like microave actually pop it in the microave someone my friend erin sent me a voice memo a while ago and I was like oh okay and he knew exactly what they were getting at and so he goes well it's a microwave isn't it and I look at him and I'm like no that is not what you guys say is it how have I never heard you guys say that then and like Erin and her daughter and whoever else was there were I think they were dying laughing because they like they were like we gotta know if this is what they actually pronounce that word as and then he's like no don't be bloody stupid and I was like okay thank god no it was just um do you know the chef called Nigella Lawson

yeah so she said it on one of our cooking programs which are basically like softball No, it was just, do you know the chef called Nigella Lawson? Yeah. So she said it on one of our cooking programs, which are basically like softball. Yeah, nobody really knows whether she did it in jest or whether that's actually what she calls it because she is quite sort of well-spoken. In the microwave. Pop it in the microwave. I think it, so first she probably was like, I'm going to fuck with some people, which is pretty funny. But also it's kind of like here we have Target, but people are like, ooh, I'm going to Target because I want to make it sound bougier than it is. Same with Primark here, you know, call it Primarché.

Yeah. Very, very fancy stuff, very expensive, high quality stuff that doesn't immediately disintegrate upon first wear and wash. Definitely not made by children in Africa. No. No. No, it's probably children in like some Asian country. Well, so I'm glad you had a nice time. I'm glad that, you know, you got to get away.

And I'm sorry you had to go back to work today. Good news. I'm going to Greece in three weeks. Yeah, I am very jealous about that, too. I've always wanted to go. It's on my bucket list. So I'm just going to seethe. I'm so excited.

Seethe with envy. I can't fucking wait. I'm so jealous I could murder you. Please don't murder me. I want to go on holiday. I'll murder you after. Okay, yeah. Because I don't know what else you're going to have to live for after that anyway. I get really bad.

I was telling Alan I get really bad holiday blues when I come back from holiday. I've got a slight come down from the weekend away. I'm going to be fully depressed when i get back well let's just plan another trip even if it's for a while out come visit it's about time it's been ages since you've been here true so maybe i will good i guess alan can come too but you know I know he and I hate each other. So I'm going to have to keep us separate like two feral cats. Yes, of course. Well, so you got that coming up. Anything else exciting coming up?

I know you got some gigs if you want to do a little plug for the band. Yeah, got some gigs this weekend. I got three gigs, one on Friday, one on Saturday, one on Sunday. And I'm exhausted at the thought of it. So excited about it. Friday, we're at the Old Albion in Hove. Saturday, we're at the Signalman, which is somewhere else in Brighton. And Sunday, we're at the Isling

Islingwood Islingwood Isling Islingwood I don't know how you say it don't ask me yeah

I'm up for it but I'm just man like it's hard work doing a gig it's exhausting so doing one

three days in a row is gonna be pretty full on and i'm missing keith's barbecue yeah that's dumb always a good time a keith barbecue a birthday barbecue bonanza yeah i like to call it yeah um i mean i'm sad i'm missing it so if it makes you feel any better i'm not going to be there which is why it's so fun so really it's probably gonna suck also that means surely you're missing your anniversary yes i didn't forget at all yeah yep yep i mean nigel made that choice i guess i didn't want to spend it with me i'm just gonna cry and eat cake by myself take myself out and do a nice solo title too

it's my anniversary cry if I want to um yeah I nothing like doing something you love so much that you kind of hate it though that is the problem it's not like I'll enjoy every gig when I'm there but as we were saying earlier like you know pop stars just turn up and sing and they don't have to work all week as well. They also don't have to set all the equipment up and take it all down before and after. They have a driver. They don't have to walk their dogs. They don't have to clean their house. They have their food made for them.

Exactly. One day. So it's quite a long process. It's not just the fact that we turn up play a gig and fuck off it's you know we're there hours before and hours afterwards and yeah i also think there's something to be said about the fact of like now at maybe it's our age maybe it's the sign of our times like making plans and then leading up to the, you just get less and less excited about it. Yeah. Make them when you're in the mood for it. And then by the time it happens, you're like,

oh, God. Yeah. Fingers crossed. Maybe someone wants to cancel sort of thing. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I love doing this podcast with you, but there certainly have been times where it's like, should we meet today nah cool fine super hungover can't do it great me too let's not that's it yeah i think that's just part of adulting isn't it for sure um trying to think about what's cool with me these days what's going on what's uh what Yeah, what's going on? What's new? What's happening? What's hip? I mean, been single cat parenting for about a week now. Well, no, not quite

that long. A couple days. Has Chips wrecked the house yet? I've actually had to buy a new house, so I'm hoping to swap them out before Nigel gets back in order to make it look like it's the same. That's intense. Chips ate his Liverpool jersey. To swap them out before Nigel gets back. In order to make it look like it's the same. Shit.

That's intense. Chips ate his Liverpool jersey. Yeah. He ate a whole wheel of cheese. Lucy started a fire somehow. I don't even know how she knew how to light a lighter. I really should. It's her blindness.

Yeah. She's developed fire starting power somehow no she can't see where the matches are no so um it's been fine i've been busy with work i had to go to the state capital yesterday i've never been so like inside So that's kind of a fun thing, I guess. It's a cool building. And I got to see, you know, government in the works, like in motion. Yes. And it was actually the this organization that I'm a part of for my for my work. And I'm also on the board of, you know, we basically all congregated. There are several

members congregated there to like talk about the efforts of the org with our lawmakers. And like, we got assigned to our particular constituents based on where we live. And the idea was we talked to them and I'm like, well, fuck, I hate talking to people like a lot. So I'm starting to sweat now. And, you know, like I can very competently talk about things that I care about in terms of work and like the things that this organization is like supporting or like kind of is willing to like say this is what we support, this is what we don't. But I, you know, I didn't, I'm bad at networking and that's kind of what this was a little bit. I skipped it in law school. Yeah.

I just like, didn't go to those things in law school. I didn't bother like getting to like no professors or people. Cause I was just like, this feels really fake. And I just don't know if I can like comfortably do that. Plus it makes me anxious. Cause what if they don't like me? Oh God. Um, but it was like basically do nothing. I did nothing and I was like I didn't bring my

computer I feel like I'm just like wasting my day I have so much to do and then really quickly it was kind of like oh you can send a note to your lawmaker and they'll just come out of session and talk to you and I was like what like why didn't anyone say this sooner we've been sitting here for like the last three hours doing nothing and so then like basically within a matter of 15 minutes I talked to both of my gals who are lovely like the prettiest people I've seen first of all women of color too young stylish and they were so nice and probably like literally did not give two shits about what I was talking about but acted like they did which was nice um and I just was like so sweaty sitting there dripping I was and I was like just stop

and they wanted to get pictures and I was, please don't take pictures of me. I get it's a photo op, but like I don't need to be in the photo op. So. Just do the back of my head. Yeah. Or like just exclusively put this person on and like just have like me handing them the paper and my hand can be in it. My hand's okay.

Yeah. So that got that done and was relieved to be done I was so socialized out after that um that I just wanted to come home and like stare blankly at a wall um even though we did nothing I like talked to the people I knew there for the majority of it but like the 10 minutes I had to speak to these women, these powerful women who were busy probably. I mean, they were talking about gun laws yesterday and some other things. And I'm like, you want to talk to me? I like kids.

So thank you for your time, ladies. I really appreciate that. For, you know, acting like what I was saying was coherent. I also appreciate that. I bet you did. Amazing what i was saying was coherent i also appreciate that i bet you did amazing it was fine but yeah imagine that took it out of you quite a lot yeah turns out maybe like i am a bundle of anxiety and very introverted i guess yeah i guess that's that's what you've discovered about yourself yeah they took going to the Capitol to find that out, you know?

Yeah. I have a good friend who listens to the pod sometimes, hey, Jen. She does that stuff, like, for her work. And I just am so impressed with the fact that, like, this is just very, she's very comfortable in that sphere. But it's, like, very clear. It's just, like, a lot of talking and kind of, like, getting to know people and, like do this thing can you do this thing um but gotta be shit at that yeah same sure sure would be back you know well yeah i feel your pain man if i just go and see clients for the day you're like okay i can do this it's an eight-year-old girl hopefully she doesn't

say anything mean to me that devastates me and let's go well our clients tend to be like solicitors or you know oh you you know what i was thinking of yours you're singing you mean work work yeah. Yeah, work, work. But yeah, that's often exhausting. You have to be on all day. Yeah, you have to kind of like code switch. And I think like, and this is where I feel bad for, you know, I read about like black and brown people who have to code switch in white spaces in order to like make the white people around them comfortable. That must be exhausting too so

like the fact that i had to kind of like kind of do that for 20 minutes yesterday and i'm super tired yeah anyway anyway that's not really a lot else to work look forward to this week except for work and i have to testify on friday which testify yep i kind of secretly enjoy doing that because it's a little fun for me to be like, I know all the tips and tricks too, so I'm going to play. Do you feel like Elle from Legally Blonde? I think I did more when I was practicing law. Now I'm on the other side in the witness stand, but very comfortable being like, was that a question? I'm not sure what you're asking. No, that's not what I said. I can't simply say yes or yes. I think I've made upset many an attorney slash pro se litigant,

maybe even a judge. I'm sorry. I can't say yes or no to that it's more than just yes or no answer oh dear yeah well so beware everyone questioning kate mm-hmm you're gonna get your ass handed to you. Maybe. It depends. But yeah, probably. What do you want to do first? Do you want to play a game? You want to hear about this weird gaslighting dating method I've read about? Yeah, I want to hear about that. Okay.

So I already know the answer to this, but just so I can say it on air, what we're talking about, have you ever heard of fractionation dating? No, I haven't. So it is in a nutshell, like I haven't read too much on it. I'm going to talk pretty off the cuff about it. I have a couple things, articles to refer to. But I also don't really think I need to like do a deep dive on this because I don't really want to give it a lot of dedicated airtime because it's fucked up. All right, cool. So according to this like Reddit post, fractionation is taking a woman on an emotional ride. For some deep psychological reason, this builds an emotional connection. An example would be after a fun, happy conversation, getting her talking about how she felt when you then get her talking about how she felt when her dog died.

This is serious mind fucking, which may backfire if you're not subtle. The terminology comes from hypnosis where taking someone in and out of trance deepens the trance. Push-pull is a form of fractionation as it involves making and breaking rapport, but is limited to mentally pushing and pulling the person away from you. Ultimately, to basically hypnotize this woman and seduce her. Okay. Is that not just a conversation? Yes, but it's manipulative right because it's not just like

tell me about the best thing that's happened to you tell me about the worst thing that's happened to you it's it's intentional conversation where the the male i'm just gonna say male because that's actually primarily pursued and it's thought of by a male but i think like some of the stuff i've seen was like oh can women use this on men um but so this other article says it's the process of seducing a woman using psychological techniques which to me all right like that sounds problematic to me because it's not like getting to know someone and developing a natural connection. It's particularly using this prescribed program or technique to get a, like seduce a woman.

So like you're intentionally going in with this goal, right? It's not like a natural human connection thing. It was said to be invented by a neuro-linguistic programming expert, John Grinder, and also renowned psychologist Carl Jung, which I don't – I didn't research enough of that. I wonder if Carl Jung actually just talked about, like, psychological aspects of things and then like basically they took it and like manipulated that into yeah yeah yeah but you take advantage of information gained from advanced human psychology and hypnosis and it is believed that a man can seduce a woman within minutes of meeting her um and the purpose of this process is to trigger a mini emotional roller coaster that will confuse her emotions towards you. Yeah, that's how you want to feel coming out of a date.

Yeah. Confused. So step one. Okay. Grab her attention. Hey! And it's like tips on basically how to get her kind of interested. One method is peacocking, which is done by wearing extremely eye-catching outfits or pieces of clothing.

Another method is called nagging. Are you familiar with nagging? Yeah. Points out something negative and irks her into starting a discussion about it. It's recommended that you don't use something extremely offensive like, hey, you're fucking ugly. Yeah, that probably won't work. fucking ugly yeah that probably won't work i think another thing i read not today but when i was first kind of learning about this was something like where it's kind of like it's as if you're giving a compliment almost like a backhanded compliment but you're saying something nice but it's like

oh i love how you have such bad manners yeah something like that. Excuse me? Or it could be something like them trying to be purposely provocative to like, you know, make some backhanded comment about feminism or something like that, which will rile them up. So step two is like develop trust and just like kind of even just like a modicum of trust helps you capitalize like you're eliciting information to that you can then use. And once a woman shows interest and engages you in conversation, then you tell her something personal about yourself or tell her a secret because then that makes her feel closer to you. Can I just put a little disclaimer? We're not teaching you how to do this. Oh, no. We're criticizing it. And I won't maybe.

I mean, people are going to look it up. I guess any man or woman out there who's interested, like, I guess you could figure this out on your own. But it's not genuine. And any person who clocks on to you doing this, whether right away or down the road, I mean, they're going to be pissed. So, yeah. And ultimately the whole point is like, you kind of, the roller coaster of it, the push pull of it, it's like where you kind of get them up here and then you bring them down and you kind of like you you breadcrumb or you ghost or something and then they want more so you know once you start kind of doing the negative part of it

the hope is is that this person's going to be like reaching out pursuing you you know and you got them hooked and then you can get them to do anything you want lovely i know I know. And so I don't, I just, it's like, you can get them to be attracted to you. You can get them to want to have sex with you. You can get them to like, you know, basically be super dependent on you. One thing, how I came across this was, I won't name it too much because we're not supposed to. There's this, there's this group out there of women who basically fact check men in the dating community to warn other women about red flags. Yeah. Have you heard of it? Yeah. Okay. So I ended up just kind of out of morbid curiosity joining that group.

It's very interesting. Is it? Yes. And someone posted about this and like put a link in and i started reading about it and it's just like it's the way this person whoever wrote that particular article about it or post it was like ultimately to control like to have a woman you can control who you could do whatever you want like basically create a course of controlling dependent abusive relationship where the woman is stuck. For fuck's sake. Yeah. Get a life.

I know. Fuck it out. Go outside for a minute. Oh God. Have you heard of the book, The Game? Yes. Didn't they make a TV show out of it too? Or like maybe I'm thinking of the the book the game yes didn't they make a tv show out of it too or like maybe i'm thinking of the pickup artist but maybe he used yeah that's basically what it is yeah yeah

which is yeah pretty much the same thing just how to manipulate your way into sleeping with as many women as you can lovely i think there's and this is where I only have like limited experience I think there's a there's something about dating dynamics that is like you you aren't your full self right you're putting on your best face but I think that's very natural right like I'm I do that at work I do that for a job interview I do that when I'm meeting people for the first time, even if it's not like a dating scenario. I'm not going to like, you know, because you don't – like you keep things private for people you don't know that well.

And so I get that there's some inherent kind of like fakeness to the dating scene, but also it's not in the interest of manipulating, I think, or it shouldn't be. It's more about just like, you're getting to know someone. So you, you share what you're comfortable with. You, maybe you're more open because of experience and you know what you want.

So you're going to be a little bit more candid than some people. But like, I, I don't know. I just feel like it's sad to me that there's people out there who either have the goal of like, I just want to fuck as many women as I want. I'm going to manipulate them into it. I want to control a woman.

I want to have a like dominant relationship over a person. That's like their motivation. It's sad. It is really sad. Just, yeah, I wonder why I guess it is to sleep with as many women as you can because that's what some men care about a lot but

yeah why I don't I guess it's a control thing as well some men like to control it's weird like I know someone who works with someone who used to be really sort of normal and decent, but has recently clearly sort of gone down a like Andrew Tate fucking journey. And now is like super misogynistic and like disrespectful towards women and the way he

just talks about life and women and it's just like ridiculous it's like why what do you think you're gaining from having this point of view in this perspective like but if you want a partner an equal partner then you're going about it the fucking wrong way mate yeah have you heard of like red pill like on reddit i think it's red pill it might be blue pill but basically it's like kind of similar of a bunch of men who get together they're like involuntary celibate they say incel to basically talk fuck women women say they want a nice guy and looks don't matter but then they go for the chads and stuff like that it's just like a bunch of men circle jerking each other about how much they hate women uh yeah well i didn't know it was called that but i know there's loads of incel groups yeah okay the red pill discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking

a positive identity for men thing is it no i'm not excusing it at all but i think there is something to be said that um i think a lot of men feel quite lost in this society now because before they sort of you you know you had they had a set of rules to follow you had to be you know masculine and provide for the family look after the woman while she was at home doing all the homey stuff and raising the children whereas now things have changed but not those set of rules yeah but there i think a lot of men are struggling to find their place in society and don't know what they're doing. And so they fall into this like, oh, women are terrible. It's like, no, no, no.

You're getting the wrong end of the stick, guys. You just have to be nice to people in general. You'll probably be all right. Yeah, I think they're a bit confused i think i've said this or we've talked about this sort of in previous episodes but this is where i go back to like okay we talk about the patriarchy and it's clear that the patriarchy actually isn't working for the group that it was designed to work for as well. No. It's not actually working for anyone, is it? Yeah. Maybe we need to fuck the patriarchy.

Yeah, fuck the patriarchy! Woo! So, I don't know. I'm curious if anyone at home listening has any thoughts about fractionation dating. They know about it, used it, have had it used on them. Like just because it's just – I think that's what I found interesting in some of the stuff I read was women being like, yeah, I was with a person who in hindsight it was very clear this is like how they kind of drew me in and managed to keep me around for so long and here are my experiences with them

and I managed to extricate myself after you know x y and z horrible things so is it like a long term thing it's not just like uh something you do on a date kind of thing it's like a yeah I think I mean it could be long term in terms of like my goal is to go on a date and have sex with that person or it could be my goal is to go on a date ultimately to find someone who i can then basically make my at home personal servant slash whatever right just get a fucking cleaner i mean hire a chef i suppose they don't want to pay for it do they yeah no i think probably any you know someone could probably use it with really pure intentions too like you

know the pickup artist i don't know if you ever watched that show um i think the hope was to teach men who have historically kind of just had trouble in their personal and romantic lives. Like I just – I was Googling it to see kind of two seasons, but like there's this little grid where it's like, okay, this person has never kissed a girl or this person has not had a date in five years and like help them get more confidence but like in a really kind of toxic way yeah as opposed to like queer eye which is like this person just needs a little boost self-care pep talk like talk to them about like how to do things to make themselves feel good and ultimately boost their confidence and make you know those things

better for them yeah no i don't think the the original sort of you know pickup artist way of life and the game book is is not from a a good intentioned place um yeah it's just basically manipulation. Yeah. Neil Strauss, the game penetrating the secret society of pickup artists. Uh-huh. I did download it because I wanted to read it when I was dating just to, like, know what to look out for. Yeah. Because it does seem to be a really big thing among, especially, like, guys in their 20s. Mm-hmm. It's very popular. It does seem to be a really big thing among, especially like guys in their 20s.

It's very popular. So going back to, because I want to correct something now. So when I said fractionation is a technique invented by neuro-linguistic programming expert John Grinder and renowned psychologist Carl Jung, theirs wasn't intended for like seduction, picking up women. It was Neil Strauss, this article says, who wrote the game. And a guy named Derek Rake who created the seduction part or used it to

be in terms of dating. So, yeah. Well, well done, Neil. Yep. Something else we have to worry about when we're dating christ so watch out guys or women use it back on them yeah turn it around i love your ugly feet. I love that you think you can wear sandals. That's so cute.

Now tell me about your worst childhood experience. Tell me about when you had to put your dog down. You gonna play a game? Yeah, you wanna play a game? Yeah, I want to play a game. Yeah, let's play a game. Well, I quite enjoyed playing the wrong answers game last week, so I've compiled a few questions for you.

Oh, God, okay. I'm going to try real hard not to think about it. Okay, yeah, just the first thing that comes to your head. Okay. What color is a carrot? Purple. I was thinking purple when I first saw it. I was like, actually, carrots are purple.

Fuck. We've genetically engineered them to make them orange for some reason. I think some king did it years ago. So in a way, it's kind of like the right-wrong answer. Yeah. It's a trick question answer. All right. It kind of is.

Well. Okay. How do you clean your clothes? Well, first and foremost, I will take it outside and find a puddle. Yeah. And so I take, you know, we'll just say a shirt. Actually, we'll say my underwear because I think this is probably a really effective way to clean my delicates. The dirtier the puddle, the better. So like if it's actually quite muddy, you know, with just a little bit of water, I will kind of, you know, really kind of

fuck it up in that. And you know, if there's, yeah, if there's rocks, I will, you know, really kind of fuck it up in that. Swash it about. Yeah. If there's rocks, I will, you know, put rocks in and maybe like kind of shake it around over my head like a helicopter to kind of like exfoliate the material. Yeah. You know, it doesn't work as well with like the lacy ones because the rocks just fly out. But, you know, whatever. Do your best. And then what I'll do is I'll go stick it in the litter box for four or five days.

And, you know, the more my cats use it, the better. Because I find that that act and like those enzymes in their bodily fluids really kind of get the germs out. So after, you know, I think a couple of days of marinating, it is then that I will flush it in the toilet. All right. Yeah. And then let it air dry, but over the muffler, like the exhaust pipe on my car. Oh, good idea. Yeah.

Yeah. Cool. All right. Where do you sleep? In my shoes. Um, where do you sleep? In my shoes. I know you're thinking like, you fit your shoes. So, you know, like I'll have one hand in one, one hand in another, you know, like I'll have a couple for a pillow. Um, and then because all my shoes are in my closet, it's very like, yeah. So that, and then like my feet all my shoes are my closet it's very like this yeah so that and then like

my feet or my legs are kind of up the wall so I'm kind of sleeping like here's this is yeah so legs body pillow and then I make sure to put like one of the smelliest shoes I can find over my face because that just knocks me right out yeah just knocks me right out so I mean I'm not gonna lie I just imagined you sleeping in a nice, big, comfy shoe like in the nursery rhyme. But that's better. You know, one day that is the goal, but I have yet to find one that is in my price range. Oh, the old shoe housing market is terrible these days. It is.

Yeah. A lot of old women with lots of kids. What do you usually do in the bathroom? I will sing show tunes. Ah, yep. And do this podcast. Ah, that's why it's so echoey all the time. Yeah.

Don't you see the toilet in the background? So when I'm not recording the podcast, I'm singing show tunes. Oh, that's mainly your singing room then? Yeah. Right, right, right. What do you keep in the fridge? Ovens. Obviously.

That's where they live. Yeah, my six ovens are stored in my fridge it's a very confusing heat yeah oh they don't work they don't work so yeah constant battle yep it's just lukewarm in there because yeah i I can't really compete at all with the coils, but that's what I was raised with, and I don't really know anything else. Why? What do you keep in your fridge? My answer for everything is just bananas. Bananas. Yep. What's a good cure for hiccups, Kate?

Farting. Oh. In my mouth i'm really just for i'm not letting myself think so i'm gonna really enjoy listening to this one on the way back yep but a good old fart in the mouth solves solves my hiccups you heard it here first guys Solves my hiccups. You heard it here first, guys. I'm going to sell that. I'm going to become a life coach.

Pesky hiccups keeping you down. Find a friend to fart in your mouth. Stranger farts are better, but, you know, it's hard to get a stranger to be comfortable doing that. Because it's got to be like pants down. mean underwear is okay but it depends like really like bareback you know yeah wow i just know it works oh my god okay um i'm just imagining someone farting directly into your mouth and i can't get the image out my head yeah me too it's it's like no one in particular but it is just a butt yeah yeah same oh you're making me cry a little bit okay alright let's move on so

what are hammers used for hmm hammers are used for making omelettes ah smashing the eggs yeah I mean they're too hard otherwise and like just in case there's a chicken Smashing the eggs. Yeah. I mean, they're too hard otherwise.

And like, just in case there's a chicken forming in there, that's how you make sure it's dead. Oh, okay. Fair enough. Cool. Yeah. Who's a good boy? Me. I'm a good boy. Such a good boy.

What would you say is the best place for a first date? Well, now I can't even say because we talked about all of the good ones. Probably the, you know, psych ward of the level one trauma center downtown that focuses primarily on gunshot wounds. They also have a psych ward. And it's my understanding. I haven't been able to get in. The wait list is way too long for a reservation. And I think you also have to basically talk to someone first and get assessed.

And then they decide whether you're worthy. But then it's like a 72 hour date, right? And so you really get a lot of time to know the person. But it's my understanding that there's like some fun little like couples games, like try these random pills and see what happens and like answer some questions about your likes and dislikes and things that scare you. And like there's hallways that just have bedrooms with other couples in them. And, you know, sometimes you can hear lots of noises. You know, it sounds like screaming and crying, but it's actually just them having a really good time. So highly, I've heard so many good things.

Well, sign me up because that sounds delightful i know there as well yep i heard it's excellent and you get you basically don't get any utensils so you have to do the fun like fun eat with your hands which can be really cute you know you want to be cute and so you're eating like yourselves feeding each other yeah yeah yeah yeah and then there's like you know mandatory quiet hours and and you know lights out and then the staff will come and make sure you're having a good time by checking on you every hour oh that's really nice of them that's really tentative and like yeah you know makes you feel really looked after and i love that i love that the the downside is if you're not having a really great time, you have to wait until the end of the date, the full 72 hours.

But I think they're willing to work through the issues with you in a group setting if you need to. Oh, well, that's good. So you can go somewhere and share your feelings and air your grievances with this person that you're stuck with for 72 hours. Yep. Yeah. That sounds good.

Sounds good. I know it wouldn't be first dates for us, but, you know, I don't think they need to know that. No, we can still take them there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. Fun, yeah. I like it. It should actually be a theme.

Okay, who should play me in a movie about my life? The dog that played Air Bud in the soccer version. I don't remember what one that was. Air Bud is. Oh, okay. So there's a movie called Air Bud, and it's about a golden retriever that plays basketball, in the soccer version. I don't remember what one that was. Oh, okay. So there's a movie called Air Bud and it's about a golden retriever that plays basketball, but they made some later ones

and I think he plays soccer in one. That dog. He's very cute and a good boy. How should you act during a job interview? Well, I think you should wear your best balaclava you know the ski mask goes without saying yeah and if you can invent like your own language and speak primarily in that language i think it'll not only show you're mysterious, first of all, because balaclava, but also creative. And if they ask you questions, just don't respond. I mean, if you need to be sure to use your language, but ideally you don't say anything and you just give them the most intense stare, but then also drool a little bit. so kind of letting them work out for themselves what your

answer would be yeah yeah yeah cool okay okay noted that's the preference for sure i think then the second one is just show up very very very very drunk and late and late maybe just drive the car right into the building shows Shows how much you want it. Hey, listen to this. The other day, I wasn't here, thank God, but old Keith came home quite late at night after being out somewhere, and there was someone parked outside the front of the house in a van wearing a full, like, Freddy krueger you know the white mask the scream mask no it's is it freddy krueger well freddy krueger is like the guy with the scary one isn't he oh it's not him no are you sure it's not the mask from scream that's kind of like the art from no okay oh jason

yes like the halloween movies yes yes like the hockey mask thing yes yeah yeah wait who's that hockey there's yeah yeah j j jason yeah okay it is Jason So I thought there was another one With a white mask But yeah Yeah so apparently he was Just outside in the car Out the front really late

In the van rather Just wearing this fucking mask Was he looking at your place Or staring forward yeah it was just parked outside so yeah keith said it was like you know you just get a really weird fucking vibe and you're like something doesn't feel right so we like bolted all the doors and stuff and made sure he knew that there was a big dog inside. Maybe a couple. Just like barking. You're just barking in the background too.

So a wrong answer only to this is go up and offer him, would you like some pie? Would you like a cup of tea, sir? Yeah, you want to come inside? Let me show you where all the keys and stuff are hidden, all the valuables are, what time we go to bed, who's the deep sleeper that you you know can maybe get away with murdering last yeah um this is how you bribe the dogs so they don't kill

you and this is where i keep all my jewelry yeah lovely what should i make for dinner tonight um shrooms with a side of aluminum foil aluminum foil excuse me chewing on that has just made my teeth get really weird doesn't that sound yummy so nice i love foil if you save the foil for after you already are kind of starting to feel the psychedelic mushrooms you're gonna have a really good time or Or a horrible time. Yeah, that will go one of two ways. Actually, I don't think it will. I think it will be very unpleasant.

Yeah, it's going to be a horrible time. Yeah, I don't like it. No. So do you think you're going to make that for dinner? Yeah, of course. You've said it now, so it's happening. According to Mary Poppins, Kate, what makes the medicine go down butt stuff it does yeah

good measure of butt stuff makes the medicine go down a good measure a spoonful of butt stuff doesn't make sense so a spoonful of butt stuff brilliant um what's the national anthem of france um i'm pretty sure it is baby shark Baby shark, do-do-do-do-do-do. Baby shark. Yeah. Baby shark, do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Yeah, it's definitely that. Yeah.

Now you say it, it's ringing all kinds of bells. I mean, that's why it got so popular, because didn't France, like, win a sports event, and they played that a lot, and kids everywhere were like, that's fucking dope. Yeah, pretty sure. Mom, baby baby shark song national anthem of france por favor si vous play whatever yeah oh great um okay a few more what do farmers use to plow their fields um pretty sure i don't know because i don't have a lot of experience but i'm pretty sure it's like the femur bone of their enemies

because all farmers are also they they have enemies that part of their life's mission is to murder to get their femur bones. Oh. Because they're very dense and long, so they can just, you know, whether they hook it up to their donkey or have a machine or they do it by hand, you can do some really nice even rows when you're plowing with those. I believe that's how they did it in, you know, it started in the Middle Ages and to this day, femurs aren't used. Why change something that works really well? Oh, exactly. The only downside is if your enemy happens to be like a very short person or a child.

Takes a lot longer. Yeah. Double the effort. Yeah. Yep. What are the five senses the five senses are hand jobs and i don't mean like necessarily sexual like you know just like hand stuff right Most of it's sexual. Then like telekinesis. Yeah, obviously.

The power of like x-ray vision, but only the ability to kind of like see really boring stuff. Like I can see into your bag that you've got some tampons. Like, so we have, we got the hand stuff. We got telekinesis that you've got some tampons. So we've got the hand stuff. We've got telekinesis. We've got x-ray vision, boring stuff. And then we have, I mean, naturally scent, but scent of a woman.

Oh, okay. And then like- Like pheromones. Yeah, but just exclusively women um and then we've got like the sensation of chewing on aluminum foil stop bringing that up no i won't that is the five senses do you like how I kind of associated it with the actual senses? I mean, it's difficult to not, isn't it? Yeah. I'm just like, goosebumps.

What? When you get prickly hair after being cold and you just shaved and it's really annoying because you spent all that time doing it and now your hair is back because you had a shiver. Because you had a shiver. It just goes bling. Yeah. Is that just me am i the only no it's me as well okay good like i step out of the shower and immediately cold and i'm like no no i've got hairy legs again yes it just immediately grows back yeah it's not the five o'clock shadow for me. It's just the five minute shadow. Yep. Yeah. Annoying.

Super. Do you know who painted the Mona Lisa? Donald Trump. Ah, yes. I wondered if he liked painting. Mm-hmm. I think the primary medium was his, what was it was his diaper, though. So just basically shit.

Explains a lot. Can you tell me why Australia is known as the land down under? Well, again, I said it's the Texas of the UK. land down under well again i said it's the texas of the uk so uh yeah it's texas pretty much and texas is down and basically the seedy underbelly yeah yeah so this ain't texas it's the land down under said by the the great beyonce the great late beyonce she's not dead yet correct um okay finally can you name some of henry the eighth's wives uh yes so there's Tabitha and then also Harriet the Spy. I love Harriet the Spy. Yeah.

That one was a weird one because she was like a kid, but he was kind of a dick, right? Pretty sure Mary Poppins also had like a little trust with him. Yeah. I think she was one of the ones who didn't get murdered though the dog from Air Bud how many, that was some of them right how many were there, 12, 14 and then last but not least

RuPaul oh that's where he came from yeah that's how he got his start the days of Henry VIII yeah looks great right does look good he does look good let me see your surgeon please sir right just really good skin care that's all i went into uh i was listening to a podcast about ozempic earlier earlier it was really interesting because it's a guy that has taken

it and has really thoroughly researched it and spoken to loads of scientists and blah blah blah and so he's written a book as well about it and he's lost a load of weight he's lost three stone is that why he did it or

is he diabetic no he did it or is he diabetic? No, he did it to lose weight. Okay. But to also like run an experiment on himself. Oh. And yeah, you know, there's benefits and negatives to it and people seem to have different reactions. But he mentioned ozempic face and like how some people are like now like super

gaunt and like their face just like drops and they look like and then I started googling celebrities that have got Ozempic face and went like alright old Robert Howe Scott Disick really

Jessica Simpson Sharon Osbourne okay yeah Really? Jessica Simpson. Okay, yeah. Sharon Osbourne. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I can, yeah. Yeah, I was like, fuck, didn't know that was a thing. But be careful. If you get too skinny, you're going to look like a skeleton.

Did he say, like, what's the cause of it? Because I guess I always thought it was just, like, if you had, like, lost a lot of weight in your face, you're going to have that extra skin. Right. And so that's why like you lose weight. People are like, now I look old because like that fat was filling out your face and giving you a more youthful appearance. So but is there something else about Ozempic that like it's just it's actually. No, I think it's just a side effect of losing a shit load of weight really quickly you know yeah um yeah i thought that was interesting that is

interesting well i guess if you're going to do ozempic be prepared for that and be prepared for getting into that plastic surgeon to cut that off because i'm pretty sure how they do it is they they literally just take some either rusty old scissors or kids scissors and they just kind of hack at it and then what they do is they like peel it up and like shift it and then they just kind of like staple it so it's a little bit tighter it's pretty much what they do to be fair yeah it's pretty much the tools might not be accurate but yeah that is what they do. Yum. They might actually like stuff some cotton in there too to help just fill out portions.

That's what fillers are. Yeah. No, fillers actually, I think some sort of hyaluronic acid or something like that. Well, actually. Yeah, I think so. It is some sort of liquid chemical that dissipates, right? And it also isn't going to – Why does it go though?

What? Why does it go? Well, they can put it wherever and then they kind of manipulate it to like be – Like Play-Doh? Yeah, a little bit because it's like like i think it's got a thicker viscosity than just straight liquid so like you can put it in and then kind of just like push it so if you needed to do it so every morning you could just be like oh i think it does solidifies but like after you get filler it is recommended that you don't like immediately like like sleep on your

face sleep on your face yeah is it the same with botox as well like you don't like immediately like sleep on your face sleep on your face yeah is it the same with botox as well like you shouldn't sleep on the side i think you have to wait they recommend waiting a couple hours before taking a nap exercising wearing a hat touching your face a bunch yeah yeah i would accidentally do all of those things uh yeah yeah well on that note did you like my wrong answers i did yeah they were very funny and you made me cry so well done yay that's always my goal it's not through laughing it's gonna be through sadness one or the other is fine crying's crying in the end but yeah that was fun thank you you're welcome i enjoyed it very much if anyone wants to send in some more uh wrong answer questions wrong answers only questions rather um then get in

touch by going online um and going to social media and finding us at tsybpod. And also you can send an email, which is like a letter, but it's electronic. And you can send that to talkshit2us at gmail.com and we'll look at that and read it and potentially read it out and you might be like semi-famous because we have at least 40 people that listen to this every week or 10 people who download on various platforms i may download it on a few platforms just to get the numbers up but yeah it turns out only you and i we also have because we haven't checked it in a while,

we have an email that we are going to save for next time. Hey, your face. Oh, you missed it. What? There was a downward thumb. Damn it! How does it do it? Why haven't we gotten the balloons?

We have an email. Yay! Yay! To the person who wrote in, we will read it next time and very sorry that we haven't seen it until now because we both got really bad about checking it but we are going to check it don't let this deter you from sending us in something but we have an email that we're gonna read next time

stay tuned for that and uh come back for more thank you for listening really appreciate it give us a like a follow and please do subscribe because it really helps the podcast and helps other people find it and stuff and things so that'd be really great if you could do that and you love us so love us harder love us harder i want you to squeeze me until my juice has come out good to see you and you goodbye

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