Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 51. Juneteenth & The Dog Hater
Episode Date: June 27, 2024This week we get educated on Juneteenth and discuss the Cockney dog hater... Get in touch with the pod at TalkShitToUs@gmail.com or @TSYBPOD on the socials!...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
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Hi.
Hi.
What's up?
How you living?
Girl, you look good.
Oh, that's very seductive.
Quit sticking your boobs in my virtual face.
Hey, I like doing that.
If you don't want to get hit on.
This took a weird turn, I'm sorry.
Welcome everyone, this is Talking Shit with the Yank and a Brit.
I'm the Yank.
And I'm the Brit.
Hi everybody, thanks for coming back to episode 51.
That's even more exciting than 50 somehow.
I don't know why, but it is.
Because we've taken the leap over.
We're over the hill.
Yep.
We're now closer to 100 than we are zero.
Oh my God, that is so true and also crazy yeah and deep so philosophical
we are quite philosophical how's your week been mad yeah mad for reasons that we might divulge
someday down the road yes not at this present time but confidential confidential secret stuff we can't tell you
jim's pregnant no i'm not don't she's not i'm just kidding i'm sorry she's she's not it's a joke
i did get a letter through the post the other day though to invite me to a cervical screening so
you know oh you get that sounds really nice actually like my doctor sent
me a letter saying you were invite cordially invited to have your cervix screened at our
facilities i'd be like okay yeah thank you so much take a look i gotta call and beg them to do it
i will have to do that because i have to call the GP and beg for an appointment. Okay, so it was kind of like a reminder letter.
Yeah, because I haven't been registered with a doctor for a long time and I'm well overdue one.
And then I registered at the doctor's the other week, just in case.
And yeah, just had the letter through from the NHS saying, it's time to look at your vagina.
Did I ever tell you?
I don't know if I actually really want to talk about this on air.
Okay, do it.
Let me just say, I want to encourage everyone, not just women, but I feel like women in particular
because of how our bodies are and our genitalia are.
and our genitalia are. It's really important to check all of your skin for pesky,
potentially problematic moles and skin issues. Oh, really?
Yeah. Including your no-no place. I just think it's important that skin all like skin covers our entire body.
I have to go get skin checks. And I recently read an article or someone told me a story.
It might've been a friend.
Can't quite remember the origin of this,
but basically someone had skin cancer in a spot that is hard to see.
Yeah.
It's hard to see.
And I have a very good dermatologist who checks my skin but I've never
actually asked nor has she been fully inquisitive of all of my skin so um I just think it's important
that we take care of our bodies so when you go to your doctor be sure to you know express a desire for them to clear you in that regard okay good to know guys there's a psa from yep the
yank in addition to talking shit we also want to raise awareness yeah that's what we're here for
to help and serve um but yeah i i do have i guess a doctor or a couple different doctors for different things.
And I just really wish they would invite me.
Send me a nice scroll.
Yep.
Maybe be a carrier pigeon.
Yeah.
Or owl.
We could do another Harry Potter situation.
That would be beautiful.
Well, I know your week's been mad.
And I guess mine too. but i am off today which is special you're never off i'm never off you're right but we you know on this wednesday today is a holiday
and i feel like i want to just talk about that a little bit.
You cool with that?
I'm cool with that, yeah.
So for the listeners, we'll see this will come out after the holiday, but it is the 19th of June today, whilst we record this 51st episode.
Whilst we record this telegram, is june 10th yep and june 10th is only recently
a national holiday and i you may well know all about it but i made some assumptions here
that you don't i know a little about it. Okay.
Okay.
Cool.
Well, just a couple questions for you before we get started.
I want to see if there's like, where are we in the foundational knowledge? You can tell me if there's going to be a quiz.
Easy quiz, I think, for you.
Okay, fine.
I just want to know where you're at so I know how far back I need to go.
Okay.
But where do I start?
Music. Some sort of music that fits for this conversation. I don't know what that would be, but pretend it's happening now, listeners.
And we have a nice little kind of fade out into Gemma. You know how America was built by
and on the backs of enslaved black people?
Oh, I do. Yes, prior to the abolition of it.
Yep.
Great. And then we can just move right on to Juneteenth then.
Okie dokie.
So,
actually one more question.
Do you know which president has been noted to be
the person who abolished
slavery?
Lincoln.
Great. Oh my god, you know more than like half of
America, I think.
Right, check me out.
So, yes.
It was on, let me look at my notes here because, of course, I can't remember anything.
September 22nd, 1862, which you will also know is not June 19th.
No.
President Lincoln issued what is called the Emancipation Proclamation.
You've probably also heard of that. Emancipation Proclamation. Sounds like a rep.
It's got a very nice flow to it, doesn't it? It does.
This mandate, I'll call it,
declared that all slaves, including those held in, and specifically those held in,
rebellious areas, are free and therefore this effectively
abolishes slavery.
Good.
And it would take effect on January 1st, 1863, which you will also note is not June 19th.
Yep.
You know, and I, as I was just doing the research for this, because of course I didn't have these dates, I was like, september january you got to give them time to
get ready to not have slaves i guess which they got to learn how to do their own laundry and you
know clean plants turns out that wasn't enough time um because you would think that june for
or january 1st, slavery is done.
Any person owning people as slaves,
they don't get to have slaves anymore.
Those people who were slaves aren't slaves anymore.
They're free.
Well, no.
No.
Many jurisdictions pretty much said,
that's fake news.
And, you know, there wasn't social social media there wasn't like televised news there wasn't phones so you can imagine that like tell everyone carry a pigeon i mean i suppose with
in september or in september of 62 like he issued that and gave them maybe that's partially why it was set for
January to make sure the news spread um so I think by the time January 1st rolled around like
everyone pretty much knew it was happening at that point but like I said there are these states
and jurisdictions that are like that's fake news not gonna believe don't believe everything you heard or read in the letter from your mom who lived in New York.
And the other issue was many states were still under Confederate control because the Civil War, which was, you know, the Confederacy and the Union battling it out, was still ongoing at that point.
It didn't actually end until like April 9th of 1985.
So those states that still were like, we're the Confederacy, we're seceding from the nation,
blah, blah, blah. No. Even though the Emancipation Proclamation basically said like,
it's those states that need to give it up. It was not without limitations though,
for a couple of different reasons, some of which are probably not going to be surprising.
It was not without limitations, though, for a couple different reasons, some of which are probably not going to be surprising.
It did apply only to states that seceded from the Union. And so those loyal bordering states were not envisioned by this, even if people had slaves in them.
And it exempted parts of the Confederacy that were already under the Union control, which, you know, I'm thinking about it.
That were already under the union control, which, which wasn't over yet. So it's kind of
like hedging your bets. Like some of the states were kind of like, well, we're going to win
because of that, you know, blind optimism. Sometimes people have even in the face of
really no hope left for you. Yeah. Right. There was some symbolic significance about this though.
There was some symbolic significance about this, though. One of being that now every advancement that the Union military made was kind of in the name of freedom. They're like advancing freedom with every win, minor or big that they have. So there's that kind of pride, I guess. This also effectively made it so that black people could be enlisted into the Union
military. So I liked this. So I put it in quotes, the liberated becomes liberators.
So they basically were freed and then went to help free others. And they did. There's lots
of stories about black troops going to those states and basically doing that.
It also I didn't know this and I don't know if it was like directly in the Emancipation Proclamation or if it was kind of like the indirect result of it.
But it conferred citizenship upon the now ex-slaves, which I kind of, you know, I had this like kind of i had to work through it in my brain
they were in america slaves were treated as property they weren't considered people
now they're free now they're people even though i don't think that's exactly what happened right
at that moment they should have also then just been citizens but that's not how it worked, right? So I suppose at that point in time,
you're newly a person in this country. So I guess you also need to now be noted to be a citizen.
Anyway, according to what I was reading in the research I conducted probably about two hours ago,
they were also made citizens. Okay. these are all good things these are all
important things yeah um and i had wrote something about like simply eliminating their physical
imprisonment would not eliminate the potential metaphorical imprisonment without it so
there was also this moral force at play behind the union following the Emancipation Proclamation because it strengthened strength.
I had a really easy day today.
I don't know why I'm like this.
Too easy.
Yep.
It strengthened the union both militarily and politically. There was debate even in the North, which is the union states, the states that
aligned with Lincoln, that he actually didn't have the authority to issue such a proclamation.
So there was also kind of this, you can't do that, you know, whether it's Congress,
constituents, and you know, that's... I'm sorry, sir, but he is your president.
You can do what he likes i agree but also then
you know i think there's arguments about it in times of war and stuff presidents can
issue executive orders such as this um you may or may not have heard about some of the debate
about president biden's choices about student loans and congress debating and then the supreme
court debating whether or not he actually could do that, has the authority.
That's always a thing, right?
Each branch of government has specific
powers. Presidents can issue
executive orders only about specific
things unless Congress says they can. And all your weird shit
with state laws
and federal
laws and things. Very confusing.
I don't understand that. Yep. There are certain things that
is exclusively within the powers of the states via the constitution there are certain things that are
preempted by federal law which means federal law trump state law yeah it's all it's a whole thing
um it's a whole fucking thing and it's very confusing to us british people who we listen to the queen or the king do you nope they don't do shit um you know i i think
considering how little the constitution and shit has changed since president lincoln's time
my guess is the arguments people were making back then about like he can't do that are probably still arguments used today because the constitution is old as fuck um but you know people felt that
way and no one seemed to do anything about it because it things still progressed in terms of
that mandate and the union and the confeder the union pursuing it and the confederacy
trying to fight it and whatever way they could well good um but there was something really clever
that i also didn't know or think about until i was like kind of educating myself a little bit more
about this and this is more about the emancipation proclamation than juneteenth but lincoln associated
the confederacy with pro-slavery and the Union with being anti-slavery.
And that like value basically made any friendly foreign entity that was friendly with the Confederacy, which was Great Britain and France.
Basically, they couldn't help them anymore because Great Britain and France were also anti-slavery.
So there was this –
Right.
By the way, Great Britain and France, you guys love the Confederacy so much, but they
love slavery a lot.
And so basically, they're kind of like, well, we can't intervene here and we're not going
to recognize you.
And that was their hope.
And I think that hope was like ultimately what they're latching on to, to maybe turn
the tides in the Civil War.
Yeah.
But it kind of cut that out from under them.
So it was pretty smart that Lincoln kind of associated those values to the different sides.
And that's kind of the clever military and political posturing that occurred.
Okay.
Now kind of that's a little bit about the Emancipation Proclamation.
okay now kind of that's a little bit about the emancipation proclamation back to the jurisdictions that were either not included in that issue and of the ep or
they were like fuck you we're not doing that um how do you think the slaves felt in those states
right the ones that were like fuck you we're not doing that yeah basically you know this this
mandate was issued slavery is over and you're in a state where they're like we're not doing that
no we're not doing it um probably pretty fucking angry um yeah yeah imagine that hearing that
that's happening and then you're in quotes owners being like no we're not doing that
yeah i couldn't like as i was kind of writing out my notes i was just like what is even an adequate
word or emotion to describe like because obviously we're white and heaven would have never been in
you know an equivalent situation to any black slave but pretty fucking pissed and
probably pretty terrified too yeah it's it's always that thing of did these people not just
imagine themselves in that situation you know putting themselves in
in the slave shoes like how would they fucking feel
well what you're describing is i think called empathy which is a trait that i think a lot of
people lack but i also think there's this notion of when you can dehumanize someone or a group of
people it becomes very easy to just like other yourself from them. And
that's why we've seen what happened with the Holocaust and literally any other genocide,
because we either remove ourselves so far from them that we cannot relate to them on a human
level, or I think the benefit of having distance too, you know, like you can't, you can't
conceptualize it in a way because it's like, that's a whole other world too, you know, like you can't, you can't conceptualize it in a way
because it's like, that's a whole other world away, you know, but I know what you mean. And
I think probably there were some, even if it took the emancipation proclamation for people to be
like, actually, I know I'm in a state that's not enforcing this, but I am maybe going to empathize
here. But I just think it's, they were viewed as property.
They weren't viewed as people. I mean, they sold, this is where I was going with this kind of line
of thought, is they sold, they split up families, parents and children, husbands and wives because
of that. And so there's a high possibility. In fact, I don't have any names or examples,
but I know for, it's certain that we would have a husband in a free state and a wife who wasn't or kids in one state and their parents in another.
So we have like the people who are free not being able to figure out where their family is or finding out that they're in a state that is or a jurisdiction that's not following the mandate.
White people are so horrible i mean there's the
episode title i think yeah i think we might already have one called white people are so terrible
uh part two i guess electric boogaloo sort of not related but kind of related to the topic i was watching um there's a program called uh
the misadventures of romesh ranganathan he's like a sri lankan well british sri lankan comedian here
and he goes to countries that we're sort of told you shouldn't go to because they're dangerous or
they have a bad reputation something like that and like america yeah yeah and travels around to you know see if it's true and what the countries are like
and stuff and he's just released a new series which i watched the other day and he went to where there it is still a crime and a punishable crime to be gay.
And his guide that was showing him around the whole time
was like this really lovely woman who was actually like a princess
to the royal family there, it turned out.
Anyway, and they were debating it because obviously he was, you know,
dead against that discrimination
and her argument was just so, it's so difficult to understand
when we don't see it that way.
But yeah, like their whole government like recently passed this law
and upheld this law to like 360 to one
one person objected it um and it's that one person okay do we know i don't that's what i
thought it was like they're probably dead now um but yeah it's just crazy to think that like people still think shit like that.
I think it comes down to there are just certain things that personally I refuse to and cannot like be like, oh, I understand why you would think that way when it comes to marginalization or subjugation of
people right so like when I hear like a Christian argument of like well you know marriage and it's
not in the bible and they shouldn't blah blah blah blah and I'm just like i don't think a book that we really can't say much about the source of
or like whatever fine i get religion we don't have to get into that book trumps base some like
really kind of basic human needs and like you know maybe then maybe no one should get married because like to me marriage is kind of
this is another institutional thing that we don't need to do but we because of the traditional
values of our country say this is something you have to have when in reality like you could be
in a relationship with someone for decades and basically be a married couple but don't get a
share insurance or anything like that
because of the institution of marriage and because you haven't signed a contract yeah so you're gonna
be with someone forever yeah it's mental isn't it yeah you know it comes back to the fucking pro
life nut jobs as well i just don't understand that especially especially the women ones. I'm just like, dude.
I literally don't understand your point of view.
No, and I always wonder if it's like, well, when you're in a situation where now this is something that you might need or like something you have to consider, you will change your tune. It's like all hypocrisy too. You hear about all the men who are anti-abortion
and then it's like, oh, but you also paid
for your mistress's abortion and all of this.
It's handed in, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Anyway, sorry.
Oh, that's okay.
I mean.
I digress.
I digress to you.
It's fine.
But I think, you know, just thinking about it, while this was ultimately an intention to, like, improve the lives for people, shit got really hard for a bit because there was a lot of confusion.
Can't find your family.
You know, they're still in one state.
I'm in another.
Like, the fact that there was, like, this noncompliance and this resistance to this abolition effort um raised tensions so on and so forth yeah um and did the government
do anything about it like people that were
so i think i said that the civil war ended on april 9th 1865 but that's like what two years afterwards yeah also still not june 19th no
still not the 19th of june but basically what happened is you know so the states that were
impacted and cooperated cooperated the states that didn't didn't the war still went on. The Union continued to advance and like kind of take over Confederate areas,
bring it into the Union,
people would surrender and stuff.
And they continued to advance,
go and free a town or a locale and stuff like that
and enforce the Emancipation Proclamation.
Right.
But it took until June 19th of 1865 for the last a group of slaves to get that benefit
pretty much and it took the u.s army pretty much getting to that final place which i'll have you
guess where and it being like hey guess what We're here now to basically enforce this thing that was put into place technically in 1863 or 1862.
And then one, one, 1863.
Here we are.
What state do you think that was?
My initial thought was Texas.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Hey.
Point to me.
Yep. was texas ding ding ding ding hey like to me yep so uh texas was a particularly rebellious state
who continued to stand off for the two years and support slavery and and allow slavery and on june
19th 1865 the 250 000 slaves in texas were the last bastion for slavery were legally declared free. 250,000 just in Texas.
Yeah.
Christ alive.
Yep.
And they had to go to Galveston Bay, Texas for that to happen.
The military.
They had to like literally march their asses down there.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
Back here now.
So, June 19th.
So that was the last day well the last slaves were released i'm going to say
freed yep um so june 19th became juneteenth by pretty much the free black people in America, um, in Texas. I mean,
there's a lot of debate about like the first Juneteenth celebration and all of that.
And maybe it doesn't really matter who was first because I think the reality is, is
as each population or area was kind of finally liberated. They had their own celebrations at various times, right?
But eventually because of this town in Texas or Texas being the last state in this day,
Juneteenth became kind of the common celebration and what it was called.
And many refer to it as the second independence day of america which in my opinion because
no one's free until we're all free it really should actually just be the legitimate independence
day of america because the fourth of july as we've discussed isn't even like that was just
like a fucking arbitrary day that was picked anyways. They just picked that out of a hat.
It doesn't even mean anything.
Yeah.
So sure.
I think that that should be the day that we celebrate independence.
I agree with you.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I thought that just made a lot of sense and I like to be validated.
So I appreciate that.
And for years, local celebrations in different jurisdictions small community like communities primarily black people have been acknowledging this day and celebrating this day for a really
long time now bringing us a little bit more to modern day um when when was the first time you ever heard of Juneteenth?
I think it was only a couple of years ago.
Same.
To be honest.
Yeah.
Is that when it became a public holiday?
Yeah.
So, you know, despite this being quite a big deal,
even though if you were to ask probably any average person on the street literally any question related to anything
about this they probably wouldn't well maybe they would now but a couple years ago they probably
wouldn't know the answer myself included I even remember you know how phones and calendars put
flag day or whatever these kind of like different holidays you know religious cultural whatever on
your I even remember seeing Juneteenth in the past and
being like, oh, I wonder what that is, and then just moving on with my life because I guess I
was not a curious person. I feel like I am now, but I was not in my younger years.
It's probably not shocking, even though it should be that it wasn't until like 2020 or 2021 that this Juneteenth
being a holiday that needs to be recognized in some fashion didn't really come into kind of like
our discourse as a society. And a lot of people, like I said, were like, I don't know what Juneteenth
is. So lots of education. And there's been like lots of efforts by different advocacy groups
in trying to educate people about Juneteenth and get it acknowledged and recognize it and
celebrate it and talk about history like that. And it just didn't really go anywhere.
Interestingly, the first state to actually make it a state holiday, which state do you think that was?
Texas? Yeah. Great job. I just thought that was, I mean, in a way it's not surprising,
but it's also kind of like, okay. Oh, okay. Texas. I guess you're trying maybe,
but you're doing a really bad job, but this is a good thing. So good job. But that was in 1980
and other states followed suit. My state that I'm currently in, I can't speak for know other states followed suit my state that i'm currently in i can't speak for
the other states that i'm from or live around didn't do it until 2021 whoa yeah and it became
a national holiday in 2021 as well i don't know yeah took that time then didn't they jesus yeah and i will say i'll be mindful about exactly what
i say for reasons um but even in my own state and the the agency that i work under
there was an effort to be like oh we gotta acknowledge juneteenth where you know this
is important and how they basically rolled it out to us initially, which I want to say was in 2021, really kind of like on its face was like, oh my God, look,
woke, woke place, woke state, woke city. Yeah. And then it was like, actually what we've done
is we took your Christmas Eve floating holiday. We made it available to you early in the year,
so you could choose to use it on Juneteenth, on Christmas Eve, or whatever you felt like it really.
Those sneaky bastards. I know. And I remember when I got the email about that and was like,
wow, I'm impressed. And then I was like, wait a sec. Fine print, fine print, fine print. And I
was like, so you basically just took a floating holiday that we only got like the week before Christmas
because you know it's like you work Christmas you can choose to work Christmas Eve or use it
whatever uh you basically just moved it and and also if I don't do that I'm gonna look really
fucking racist yeah yeah I'm gonna yeah so I guess I'm working Christmas Eve
yep really hollow gesture and I wasn't the only one that noticed because then the next I think
after I think I actually had to work that Juneteenth too because it was like we need to
have some staff available for reasons uh that next year it was okay it's actually gonna be a holiday for everyone
but it also aligned with the with the federal holiday which i get the benefit of getting
federal holidays off so it wasn't like they really had a choice well i'm glad you do get it off now. Thanks. I mean, come on.
Happy Independence Day.
Happy Independence Day.
I'll cheers you to that.
And that is the nutshell and probably not all that comprehensive and slightly sarcastic because that's who I am as a person story of Juneteenth.
Well done.
because that's who I am as a person story of Juneteenth.
Well done.
Today, I and I think many listeners learned a lot.
It also made me realize that we don't have any like holidays for decent things like that.
We just celebrate birthdays, birthday, bank holidays.
Bank holidays. Yeah. You just call them bank holidays yeah and also bank holidays that's it right and we celebrate
you know guy fox who was a guy who tried and failed to blow up parliament which is kind of
weird is very weird yeah very strange indeed weren't you supposed to tell me about that one day? Yeah.
Did I not?
I mean, I know about it, but I don't know if we actually had a full episode about it. Okay.
Well, can you remind me closer to November?
Hey, Siri, set reminder for...
Remember, remember the 5th of November.
That's the...
I don't see an app for that.
You'll need to download one.
Siri actually heard me that time.
Siri.
Yeah, we can loop it in with St. Collins Day.
Yes.
That's what we'll do.
We'll tie them together.
Well, that was really interesting.
Thank you for sharing and teaching.
You're welcome.
I am here to serve you are burgers
it's a little bit ASMR for everyone
well that's gonna make me cringe when i listen to that yeah you might want to edit that one out
also all of my excessive breathing that inevitably is going to be on this episode. That would be great if you could just minimize that because I know I was like, and then I breathe really heavy when I get activated.
I want to tell you about something.
Uh-oh.
Are you breaking up with me?
No.
Okay.
Not yet.
Not yet.
You'll know.
You'll know when I do.
So do you remember way back when?
I remember.
There was that viral thing going around with the dress.
Is it blue and gold or is it white and black and blue or whatever the fuck it was?
What color is the dress?
Yes.
What color is the dress?
Yes. So, the man who posted that picture originally and broke the internet nine years ago, that was nine fucking years ago.
Really? I thought it was longer than that. I could have sworn I was in like law school and that went down.
Was I in law school nine years ago? No. I wasn't.
Okay, well I thought it was like a couple of years ago, but that's how my life goes.
No, I mean, I think nine years is probably right.
I just felt like it was longer.
So, yeah, sorry.
I just sort of had a bit of a mind fart then and just stopped thinking for a second.
It is like one in the morning there.
It was peaceful.
So, Keir Johnston is the guy.
He's 38.
And his wife, Grace, had everybody talking after the mother of the bride wore a dress
that had the world divided to their wedding in 2015.
Almost a decade after the internet continuously fought over whether the dress in question
was black or blue or white and gold, sorry, black and blue or white and gold,
Kia has now been sent to jail after admitting to trying to strangle his wife.
You know, I think I maybe saw something briefly about that.
So court documents obtained by people like the magazine not just
people just people just some people my neighbor greg um confirmed kia was indicted after pinning
his wife on the ground and sitting astride her during an assault on march of the 6th 2022
apparently he repeatedly placed his hands around Grace's neck
restricting her breathing and he also
threatened to kill her and brandished
a knife.
So
he's a bad
man.
What I think I thought I saw
is that he actually did kill her so I'm happy to hear
she's not dead.
Yeah, it doesn't actually say
on the post that i saw so unclear yeah um see i just thought that was crazy because
who knew that someone who posted a lovely picture of a black or black or blue or white and gold
it's white and gold i'm saying that now it's black black and blue. No, it's definitely mine gold.
So I saw both.
Like I saw pictures where I saw both.
Oh, really?
Because I think someone like tinkered with lighting or composite or something like that.
Yeah, you just changed the saturation.
Yeah.
So I saw both.
But I remember like I think the first picture I saw, it was black and blue to me me which means that i have like an incredibly high
iq i think oh is that right yep ah it's all coming together now crazy you ready for an am i the
asshole i just feel like we need to confirm whether or not this woman is dead. Oh, okay. Let's do that first.
Just for the sake of our audience at home.
So Grace Johnston.
Let's go get that.
I think she lives it appears she lives
she's from Glasgow as well
yeah I guess you know what
I don't it's I never
thought too much about the person behind who posted
this you know but I would have just assumed
they were Americans yeah I did
you Americans taking everything from us.
I know.
I'm sorry.
It just seemed like a very American thing to do.
Yeah, she's okay.
She's okay.
She's fine.
She required no medical treatment despite the sustaining severe bruising from the attack.
Okay, good.
We got that cleared up.
But yes, I think it just goes to show you
just because someone goes viral on the internet even goes on ellen which i think they did does
not mean they're good people no some would say that ellen's not a good person correct that is
what some would say and that is why she doesn't want to allegedly allegedly allegedly yep Allegedly. Allegedly. Yep.
Christ.
I'm glad we cleared that up.
Me too.
And I am ready.
You know I am, baby.
Good link back.
I enjoyed it.
Right.
Why are you looking at me like that?
I don't know.
I was trying to think of an accent to do.
No.
But I've just realized I think I know know this guy's english because he says it we'll just do a bloke then all right like maybe one that's from scouse that's what i've been
saying lately i'm from scouse you're from scouse no i played a video game that had lots of accents in it. There was a little boy who was very Scouser,
and I was like, I'm from Scouse.
That's not even a Scouse accent.
Well, you know I can't do accents.
I'm from Scouse.
Welsh.
I was going to say that sounded kind of Welsh, didn't it?
Anyway.
All right.
Sorry.
Here we go.
Am I the arsehole for leaving my girlfriend after she got a dog?
Hello.
Hello.
Hello.
I'm 25 male and my girlfriend is 23 female.
We've been together for over...
I don't know how long I can keep this up, but I'm going to try.
You're doing so good, though.
Yeah.
We've been together for over a year and generally have a great relationship.
She's funny and kind.
However, yesterday when I got home,
there was a golden retriever in our house.
Okay.
I'm good. Yeah. Cute puppy.
Got it.
When I asked my girlfriend whose dog it was,
she smiled and said,
ours.
The man doing his girlfriend's accent.
Okay, sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Okay.
I wasn't sure if she was joking or being serious, so I kept asking whose dog it was.
She kept smiling, saying, ours.
And then proceeded to say the dog's name.
I don't really remember what she said her name was,
since a lot was going on through my mind.
She even told the dog to say, hi, dad.
What is this reminding me of?
Tell me when you're done.
I'm sorry.
Go on.
I told her that she couldn't be serious right now.
And she replied, why?
With a big smile.
I didn't say anything else and just left the house and went to a hotel.
At the beginning of our relationship,
I told her that I don't like dogs and I can't be in the same room with one.
Even when I see one in public, I put a good distance between me and the person walking a dog and I told her if she ever wanted a pet, she'd have to get a cat or something else that isn't a dog.
While at the hotel, my girlfriend called me a couple of times, but I didn't answer.
Then she texted me saying that I was overreacting and that my fear of dogs is ridiculous.
She said I should at least give it a try and live with a dog for a while
and that she and the dog would help me overcome my fear.
But I never asked to overcome it.
And honestly, it never bothered me.
As long as there were no dogs in the house.
I never got bothered by one in public because I always put a good distance
between me and the dogs.
I've never even petted a dog before and I went to sleep
as I wanted to decide what to do when my head was clearer.
I don't want to be the guy who says it's either me or the dog.
She clearly likes dogs and I don't.
So I was thinking of just breaking up with her,
even though she's been amazing throughout the year.
Am I the arsehole for wanting to break up with her over this?
Okay.
So the accent that you did
made this guy sound like such a fucking idiot
i don't think i did a good service that did i i loved it it was
so funny i'm sorry i couldn't contain myself when you're like, Meowse!
And it just, it reminded me of someone.
I don't think anyone I know, or we know personally,
but like an actor.
And I just want to know, were you channeling anyone?
Or just like, this is what blokes sound like.
Well, the ass bit was, reminded me,
there's a comedian called Mickey Flanagan, who's very very cockney and he tells this joke about how he went to America and met a nice girl and he walked her home and he said it got very lost
in confusion because he said, can I come in your ass?
And she's like, excuse me.
He said, don't worry, I won't mess anything up.
I'll be in and out before you know it
so i think i think it i detected a little bit of like not just kind of like the cockney-ish
um and i think it's that actor he's like an old guy and he's a mcgook guy no you're only supposed to blow the bloody
doors off kind of but no he was in the he was like the dad on the the show the series like
gentlemen the gentlemen did you ever watch that yes the recent one yeah so like the dad who's in jail, but his jail is really like a bougie mansion.
Oh.
That actor.
What's his fucking name?
What is his name?
I can't remember his name.
He sounds like a British gangster.
He does.
That kind of funny.
Ray Winston.
Yeah.
So a little bit of that.
Yeah.
Which I really found appealing.
But also just like general male
like just the vibe of the guy who's like i don't like dogs okay i shouldn't have to
don't make me like dogs getting back on track though what do you think is he an asshole
i very much want to say he's the asshole both because of the accent but also who doesn't like
dogs but i get it some people have fears of dogs and i don't think that's fair to call him an
asshole for that i do think that i was probably assholey of his girlfriend to just unilaterally
bring a dog home knowing that knowing his stance on it without talking to him about it
i think she was probably doing one of those ask for forgiveness instead of permission things maybe
a little bit of like exposure therapy maybe you just need to give it a chance and it'll be fine
which i think people want to do all the time right like um and you hear those stories all the time of
like the dad in the family saying they don't want a dog
and then they get a dog and then they love the dog
and it's their best friend
yeah the dog is like their favorite
clearly that's what she was hoping for
I think that he doesn't want to admit
he actually is really scared of dogs too
I think he wanted to just be like
I just don't like them
I run away from them when I see them
and I will never touch one ever
will never pet one ever.
Will never pet a dog.
Yeah. So I can like accept that this is, you know, whether or not he sounds like how you read it or not.
And the fact that dogs are really fun and golden retrievers are like super nice.
It's really hard for me
to say this person's an asshole but just as an animal lover like give it a go man i know
tricky isn't it yeah what are your thoughts yeah i think especially because she knew that he's
scared of dogs like you can't just spring a dog on him and it is something you should probably discuss as a couple even if he wasn't yeah just like um so i think like yeah she like overstepped
a boundary but the other side of my brain is if you don't like dogs i don't fucking trust you
so yeah you know yeah i did like that he said you know she's been really great for the year we've been together
okay so you guys are living no shame people sometimes you can't fight that love and feeling
you know you know all of that but like makes me wonder if you guys really know each other that
well if you are living together they're quite young they're only 20s yeah what did you say 25 male 23 female meows anyway so the general consensus is that he's not
an arsehole um like the top comment was no it's not the top comment it's the one at the top here
so it's not an arsehole but you're definitely not a match. Keep walking. Find another strange person like yourself,
one that won't abuse your boundaries.
So then, you know.
Much like that.
Strange person as in, like, you don't like dogs and that's weird?
Yeah, basically.
Someone said, why the fuck is he strange?
And they replied, it's a rather irrational fear.
Never interacted with a dog and somehow terrified of them.
It's kind of funny in a way.
Fair.
But she should have respected him enough
to discuss before buying a dog.
Yeah.
Agree.
I've never drowned,
but I am a little bit scared of drowning.
I will just say.
Exactly.
Yeah.
scared of drowning i will just say exactly yeah um there was a really funny one this person put lol you went to a hotel room over a puppy so dramatic you're the arsehole
also fair but that just tells that just reinforces that i think he's actually really
really terrified of dogs but being a 25 year old bloke he isn't gonna be like literally pissed my
and shit my pants when i saw this dog because i'm so scared of dogs yeah he's golden fucking
retriever let me come on um someone else said probably a good thing that she can find a real man now oh dog reddit dog reddit came out yeah
right honestly people are so as a dog people are mental and this thread confirms it
we've talked about this i think a little bit where how it's like dog people are as you just said if
you don't like dogs i don't trust
you my dog is great i love my dog my dog goes everywhere and cat people are like look at my
trash cat um someone else just said you're an arsehole to to the op or yeah to the ap okay
yeah fair you're you're both arseholes from the sound of it but you're
personally exceptionally pathetic i mean a fucking dog is gonna make you break up with
your wonderful girlfriend she was probably tired of your whiny shit about them and he's trying to
help you overcome your irrational fears for fuck's sake don't be such a crying little
bitch puppy's a man's best friend i almost wish that you had done accents for each comment too
based on their vibe because that would have been you whatever you just did with that one i was like
oh man you cry little bitch um yeah uh i mean they're the controversial comments i just thought they
were really funny so i decided to read them um but yeah everyone else is basically saying like
not the arsehole if you didn't have the fear of dogs um she had no right to make such a
large decision for your household without even talking about it. This adds a huge layer of responsibility to both.
And since you knew it was a hard limit for you and did it anyway, I don't see why she I don't see where she found the audacity.
You're not making her choose between you and the dog.
You're asking her to respect your long established boundary and fix the mistakes you made.
I mean, in reality, I think...
Excuse me. Sorry.
She made the choice of the dog over him
when she brought home the dog.
Yeah.
You know?
Exactly.
Even if she didn't realize it, that's kind of what she did.
And like going back to your point,
it's like having a fear of water and her pushing him into the water.
Yeah.
I think people do it.
I think it works out well for them in terms of like bringing home a pet and the person who's kind of the naysayer.
I can think of a couple examples where this happened, you know.
But it is like you really have to understand that like there is a risk it won't work out like that and then what you're gonna send the dog back which is gonna make you sad too
and i'm gonna put it out there if anyone wants to bring me home a dog i'm fine with that
me too in fact i'm offended that i have not been why isn't someone bringing me a dog every day
yeah there's also an update on this one.
Do you want to hear it?
Yes, I do.
Are you going to do an accent again?
Yeah.
Yay.
All right.
First of all, I want to thank everyone for their feedback and support.
And special thanks to user code underscore name underscore ducky.
Don't know if I should say that on air, but I am.
After reading many comments from both perspectives,
people who were saying I'm not the arsehole
and the ones who were saying you are the arsehole,
I went to see my girlfriend and we talked for a bit.
I told her what she did was wrong,
but she insisted that I was overreacting
and she wasn't ready to apologise.
After talking a bit more, I told her I wanted to break up with her. At first she didn't believe me and thought I was
trying to hurt her or get revenge on her. Then she started crying and then she got angry and tried to
hit me. I held her until she calmed down. After a while we talked again and she said what am I
supposed to do? She mentioned that she can't take care of the dog by herself.
So I offered to help her find a new place for the dog.
I also offered that if she didn't want to move out, she could stay at my place and I would find a new place for myself.
Additionally, I told her that I would cover her rent for this month.
Nice guy.
Feel bad for doing the accent now. I know I didn't have to do any of these things, but I just couldn't leave her like that
and I don't want to see her suffer over a hard time. She said thanks for the offer and said she
would think about it. I could tell that she was still in shock, so I didn't really know what to
say to her and I didn't want her to feel worse so I decided to give her some space.
For the past couple of days I've been staying at my friend's house and I had him bring some of my
stuff and I had him bring I had him bring some of my stuff until my ex-girlfriend decides if she
wants to stay there or find a new place for herself. I decided to give her a couple of days to decide.
The day after I broke up with her,
my friend and I tried to find a new place for the dog,
as she couldn't take care of her.
She's told me she took the dog to one of her friend's houses,
but her friend couldn't help her with finding a permanent place for the dog.
Honestly, none of this is good for my mental health,
and I've taken a week off work just to solve everything. I can't just leave the dog. Honestly, none of this is good for my mental health and I've taken a week off work
just to solve everything. I can't just leave the dog on the street and I'm pretty sure it's illegal
to do that in the UK. Anyway, we had no luck. I couldn't find a place for the dog so we decided
to try again tomorrow. After me and my friend went back to his home, my ex called me. She called to
ask for one more chance and she apologised. I said, I forgive you.
What's done is done.
But I think it's better if we go our separate
ways. She wasn't
happy with it. I'll just skip this conversation
on here because she was just cursing and saying
that I will never find anyone like her
and that I will die single, etc.
That's just a bullet, mate.
Chill, woman.
A day later, which was yesterday at the time of making this update my friend called me to say he'd got some good news he'd found someone to take the dog
and we are still waiting for that person to take her on the same day around 11 30 p.m to 12 a.m my
ex started calling me again and it was quite late and I decided to wait for her to leave a message to see what she wanted but she kept calling so I finally picked up and when she and she asked me
to forgive her again I told her that I already have but we're simply not compatible and I told
her you're young beautiful when you'll find someone else but she got even more pissed and
that's basically it for now I didn't expect the original post to go viral when I was expecting
maybe 30 comments and hoping
for a small manageable amount of feedback.
Just a simple guy.
Because of this
I didn't provide
too many details in the initial post
thinking that I could answer the questions as
they came up. So this time I tried to give
as many details as I'm comfortable with.
And he basically
goes on to say if you still have questions then please feel free to ask and i'll try to answer
them blah blah blah so yeah following on from that update everyone's saying man you dodged a bullet
because she sounds like a fucking narcissist and an abuser and uh actually the dog did a really
good thing for you because it made you see her true colors.
And it also got a good home out of it.
So hopefully once again, dog saves the day.
Dog Reddit wins.
Dog Reddit wins the asshole.
That doesn't sound right.
No, but I am like what I said earlier about like her choosing the dog
over him by bringing it home and kind of running the risk that he would react the way he did
yet not thinking that if he is super unhappy about this and refuses i can't take care of
this dog on my own yeah you should have considered that i she's 23. Her brain's not developed yet.
That's it.
Very instant gratification based, I think.
Yeah, she's definitely the asshole now with that update, I think.
Do you know what I was thinking was that he's 25 and he's got his own place.
And that makes me really sad for my life.
Why?
Because I don't own a house and i live with someone he's living with a friend right now because he let his girlfriend
have the place so but yeah sorry for giving you that um well no i'm not sorry for giving you i'm
sorry for making you sound stupid because i'm not saying that anyone with a Cockney accent is stupid, obviously.
Keep going.
Just keep going.
Dig it.
Dig that hole.
I'm not digging.
I'm climbing out of the hole.
You did a character.
It's fine.
And it was perfect and beautiful.
And I loved it.
And that's all that matters.
Great.
But I have one question for you.
Okay.
If it were a cat instead of a dog,
do you think people would have reacted so strongly?
Because I don't think so.
You make a very good point.
No, I don't think they would.
I also, like, why wouldn't you just take the dog back where it came from?
Yeah. Because if it came from? Yeah.
Because if it came from some sort of shelter my guess is they would take the dog back.
Yeah that's always a cause.
Yeah if it came from like a breeder or just someone who had puppies like you're probably not going to get your money back but I bet they'd take the dog back and try to sell it again.
Yeah.
Exactly.
and try to sell it again.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Maybe they didn't want to because maybe it came from
a really shitty
Yeah, maybe.
home environment.
Maybe she found it
in a dumpster.
Yeah, maybe.
I wish I could find
a puppy in a dumpster.
Me too.
Best day ever.
I don't wish that
but I
would be
very excited if I did.
Yeah.
Ro. Rel? That's not a did. Yeah. Rel.
Rel?
That's not a word.
Rel.
I went to say well and really at the same time, and I made a new one.
Rel.
I like it.
Rel.
Rel Gemma.
Rel then.
Shall we fuck off?
Yeah.
Let's.
Okay.
Great.
Okay.
Thanks for listening.
Goodbye.
Thanks.
That's it. Bye. No, no, no no no no let's do it properly um so if you like everyone's gonna be turned off now because we said goodbye
still talking and everyone's like oh they're done put in the end music too and then just have this
it'll be a little easter egg at the end oh okay yeah I'll do that you know if you like this episode
or other episodes
like us, rate us, subscribe
to us, review all of that
on any of the podcast platforms
that you listen to
we like it, makes us feel good
it gets us out to other listeners
and clearly we're doing
you know God's work here
with our am I the assholes?
But you can find us on at TSYB pod on various social media platforms because we're cool and
young. And even though we're of the millennial generation, we're much more closely aligned with
what is cool and hip today. And then if you want to tell us about
how cool and hip you think we are you can email us at talk shit to us at gmail.com
oh yeah baby we look forward to receiving your correspondence
and should you find yourself in need of any advice or solicitation for help
post haste.
Write to us.
Tut tut.
Cheerio.
Bye.
Ta ta.
Toodle pip.
Have a good rest of the week, G.
And yes, speak to you soon.
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