Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 56. Let Me Get My Blow Job Wig

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

This week we're talking French Toast VS Eggy Bread, Daddy Waltz, the Riots in the UK, a hairy first date story and an AITA!Send in your thoughts, theories, questions and dilemmas to [e-mail] or @TSYBPOD

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or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. hi hi there punch punch in the air superwoman here we are to save the day Anyway, hi, how are you? I'm okay. Very good. Warm. Happy. Yeah. Glowy. Bronzed. Bronzed. I am too bronzed. No such thing. It's pigmentation.

Not from where I can see. Maybe if I were in person with you. It's quite good light here, actually. Yeah. In person you can be like... You might not be able to see, but I have a nice tan watch line. So do I. You can't see. Yep.

Yep. Oh, yep. Yours is a little more defined than mine. Oh, yeah, baby. Funny. That's why I know I got some color, I guess. Yeah. Always got to wear that watch, baby.

Yep. I should take my bracelets off actually because they jingle jangle about in the microphone. I like it. I like the noise. It's ASMR or whatever. I hate that. I hate ASMR.

It does the opposite to me. I'm like... I think it depends on what it is but one thing that I don't like is there's a lot of videos right now where like people will be showing stuff and they'll go. Yeah. Hi. And also just the whispering.

I can't deal with the whispering. You mean like this? Yeah. Like it's an Instagram video. They're like trying to tell you something important. I'm like, why are you whispering? Shout it if it's that important. Don't just do that.

Yuck. Those things grind our gears. What else? God, so many things. I was like, what is it? Your butthole? What in the butt oh yeah i forgot about that but i do think we should start saying that really grinds my butthole when i just like really grinds my sphincter you heard it here first, folks.

What was that? I just did. We're drunk. We're so drunk on this Sunday. We just drunk on life. We took a little break last week to be people and develop content. And boy, do we have a show for you today. This is Talking Shit by the way. Oh yeah. This is Talking Shit with a Yank on a Brit.

If you've not listened to us before I'm the Brit. And I'm the Brit. No you did it wrong. I'm the Yank. I'm Kate the Yank. This is a podcast where we, you know, as the title suggests, we talk about all kinds of shit. Our early episodes were, you know, sort of loosely based on the differences between the UK and the US, cultural differences. Now we just tend to talk

about whatever, whatever shit we want which is one of the reasons why we picked this title so that we didn't get stuck in a niche exactly speaking of um differences though there i encountered one today that i don't know if we ever talked about but maybe we have um french toast versus eggy bread ah yes i don't know why eggy bread sounds so gross it's delicious it is good but not when you call it eggy bread but that's what it is it's bread and it's eggy because you guys love just describing shit how many times do i have to say it you guys do but for some reason you call it french i don't even think it's french

just like french fries aren't french yeah you just like calling everything french yep it makes it sound fancier this is french soup this is french onion soup yep french laundry this is French flu. My French beret. Yep. Anyway, we had eggy bread today, but I was calling it French toast and Nigel's calling it eggy bread. And I was just like, I want to eat this, but you have to stop calling it that.

I had eggy bread the other day, actually. Aw, twinsies yes I've actually um so for years I had first had an eggy bread french toast when I you know in like you're a kid and in the summer holidays and stuff you go to like summer school or summer camp yeah um so I used to go to one of them and that was the first time i had it and it was the most incredible eggy bread slash french toast i've ever had in my life first one i ever had and i was like i love this and all my life i've been chasing the taste of that again trying all different kinds of breads and techniques and you know amount of egg that you use never been able to do it

until literally like a month ago where i used wholemeal bread rather than white bread i always thought it would be better on white bread turns out this whole time all i needed to do was use wholemeal bread and it tasted exactly like the first time I ever had it it was really good I wonder if it just gave it some depth yeah some sort of cardboardy yeah so I like french toast fine it's not like my I think I'd probably choose waffles or pancakes first but we had some briocheche that got left behind when my cousin was here and we were like, we should probably use that. And it was good. You did posh French bread. Yes, it was. This is the new name, French bread. French bread. There is something called French

bread. Isn't it just a baguette? Yeah. It was good. I think that you'd probably like it too, but I can see why kind of a whole meal one would be good. But when I was in school, they would sometimes serve breakfast and it was French toast sticks and I always thought those were phenomenal. I wonder what kind of bread they used. Anyways, I digress. What I was going to say is I had like the worst French toast of my life once. That really put me off of it for a while and it could have been because i was a little hungover it was years ago and we're in my hometown and we went to this place and i won't say it on here because i don't want to like make anyone feel bad but erin and britney and lauren know what i'm talking about i think or where i'm talking about say it is the glass palace

yes but it tasted and smelled like wet dog. Oh, that's not normal. Don't ask me how or why, but that was what it was evoking, and it was so gross. So that one lived up to the name eggy bread because it was like eggy and sweaty. Yes, it was just bad. No amount of syrup could save it. This is a thing as well. So you guys put like icing sugar and syrup and stuff on it sometimes yeah i eat it with ketchup

what is that savory food it's a sweet food it's savory it's eggy bread it's sweet. Egg and bread. Cooked in oil. So is eating it with ketchup in the UK common? I think so. Because like. I'll be honest. I've never really asked anyone what they eat their eggy bread with. I've got to ask Nigel because it wasn't even a question.

We had blueberries and syrup and I was going to put powdered sugar on it, but we didn't have any and I didn't feel like grinding some. Have you ever had it with like syrup? Yeah. And it's weird. I didn't feel like grinding some. Have you ever had it with syrup? Yeah, and it's weird. I guess if you are using a sweet bread like brioche, then I understand that. But the way I cook it, it's a bit of fried eggy bread.

It's kind of like an egg sandwich except it's combined. It's an omelette and bread. I can see that. I think people will make it, like the good kinds I've had, they've made it with a little egg because that's kind of the thing to get it bound, I guess. Yeah. But they'll put sugar and milk in with that to dip it. And so it becomes like kind of a sweet base too.

Okay. So maybe there are two different things. Maybe French toast is more of a sweet variation. And eggy bread is as it says on the tin, baby. It's eggy bread. Wait, it comes in a tin? No, it doesn't come in a tin. Oh.

What the fuck? My mind is getting so long right now. I mean, I know bread, there is bread that comes in a tin, like from war times, right? They made bread in a can or whatever. From the old years of yore. Yeah. Oh boy. Yeah.

I'll ask Nigel after we're done if it's meant to be savory or if he's going to say I mean, maybe I'm alone in this. I don't know. Everyone let us know, please. Yeah. People listening could let me know. That's just always how I've had it. But maybe I am the minority.

I don't know. You're so special. I just like to be original. Who doesn't? Oh, my God. Okay. We digressed. We have digressed.

About breakfast. But that is just an example of the vast differences between our cultures. We're still discovering them today. Still learning so much about you. We are. I learned a really fun fact this week. How fun was it? Well, I learned something.

Okay. And I wanted to share it with you. So do you know why pirates wore an eye patch? Because of their, like, scope things? Ah, that's what I thought. Okay. Not so. Because they didn't have eyes.

Yes. They would gouge their, no. It's like, oh my God. No, so the reason they do it was so they always had an eye that was acclimatized to dark environments. So when they went in the boat's cabin, they would swap it around and then they would already have an eye that could see in the dark. Oh. How cool is that?

It's really smart. Yeah. These pirates aren't fucking around. Why isn't that more, like, widely known? I know. How did you find out about this? Did you meet a pirate? Yes.

I went on a journey around the sea. That's where you've been, okay. No, I read it on, I think it was a Facebook post of all things. It's probably true then. Yeah. There was someone asking a question, question like what's a cool fact you know here's mine oh okay huh wow that is interesting um and i bet you know because they always go in caves and stuff too yeah exactly and you know find treasure treasures it's better to see the

treasures in the dark my dear you can see them sparkling interesting that is a fun fact i on a scale of one to ten i'm gonna say that's like an eight in terms of good score yeah i think that's a good one thank you well i'm glad i shared it with you then me too bring more i'll find more oh I've got another one, actually. Okay. Again, which I heard the other day. We might have covered this, to be fair. I feel like we might have done.

It's been like 6,000 episodes by now. Yeah. But I found out that chainsaws were actually invented for childbirth. The first chainsaw was made so that they could like cut through the pelvis when women were having really bad labors how fucked up is that did they all die i think so yeah i don't think we this is news to me i don't know if we discussed this we must not have done then but yeah they had to have been different than they are now because like... Yeah, they were like hand like...

Oh my God. Yeah, hand. That is making parts of me cringe that I didn't know. I know. Gross. Wow. Now we use them for trees. That feels like a Silas fact.

Was that a Silas fact? Maybe, actually. I don't know where I get all the information I get. It just accumulates in my brain holes. Oofed. Yeah. Do I have any fun facts to share with you? I feel like I don't have any fun facts.

Well, oh, I guess it is a a fact and it's kind of fun. The governor of my home state, my current home state. Yeah, I saw that. Mr. Walls, who is, you know, I – Is he a nice man? So I – I'm going to say it in kind of two parts. I think generally his persona and who he is as a person, he is a nice man. And I'm loving how the internet like internationally and nationally have like only recently learned about him.

But they're like, it's America's dad. He's going to teach you how to change a flat tire. He's going to – you know, and like I just love that people are kind of like fangirling and boying over him. That's cute. And then the fact that he could be vice president fingers crossed um on the other hand like there are things that especially like after the murder of george floyd and the riots that happened i had some frustrations with some of the decision making there but it wasn't just him um but i just was like oh like everyone's now kind of like oh

what is what is this minnesota you keep talking about that sounds everyone's now kind of like, oh, what is this Minnesota you keep talking about? That sounds lovely. And now people are like, don't move here. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, don't push my house prices up. No, no, stay where you're at. You guys can admire us from afar. But it's just real cute too. Like very, it just feels like this wholesome vibe. And I'm like waiting for the shoe to drop or someone comes out and says he's like a horrible person. And I'm waiting for the shoe to drop or someone comes out and says he's a horrible person. And I'm hoping that doesn't happen. But I feel like that's what happens.

It does tend to happen, yeah. Yeah. But that's exciting for us. Yeah, that's nice for you. I like that. And people are like, oh, no, he's not going to be our governor anymore. But what's going to happen is his vice, deputy governor, I i guess um her name's peggy and she's female and native and she will be minnesota's first female uh governor and i think she'll be

the nation's first native governor oh wow awesome at least female native for sure which is exciting um i also love also i think because it just makes me think of like a lovely old little lady she's and she's not she doesn't look like what you're envisioning but she's she's real cute and she's also part of the lgbtq community i believe um don't quote me on that but i think she is and i'm just like oh so we've had biden step aside to give you you know, the reins to Ms. Harris. Potentially the best female. And then, you know, now Walls is running for, and he can still be governor even if they lose. Like he's still, like the way Minnesota's rules work is that he still can be governor. You know, fingers crossed they don't lose.

But if he does, then it's going to be Peggy. And that's exciting. That's cool. See, look how things can change. Just a mere, you know, month or so ago, you were drowning in despair. I still am, but it feels a little more hopeful now. Look what can change. Amazing. That's cool. I'm happy for you guys. I think it's broken Trump a little bit like he's somebody he's just

been like publicly isn't he like refusing to do any more debates and stuff because kamala would rip him a new asshole yeah you know i don't know but someone like he's had like these press conferences where it's just like is this real life like what is this man's like he's like i've had more crowds with more people more rallies with more people than martin luther king jr's rallies and it's just like what like he was never rallying to be president can we start asking about his brain function right now please this is it though isn't it it's because compared to biden trump seemed relatively normal but now Trump is against copus mentis, intelligent, strong people. He's now looking like the fool. Thank God.

I mean, he always did, but it was so easy to deflect to the other questionably, you know, aging old person with perhaps dementia or something like that. But you're right. I think like a comparative analysis, it's like, is he okay? He's not okay, no. No, no. I saw a, it was like a soundbite of him, I'm guessing at one of the rallies,

just like talking about his ear. They were like, they can shoot my ear off like they do the Taliban. Oh my Jesus Christ. I'm going to grow my ear back. He's a starfish. That's actually, he's got the brain capacity similar to a

starfish, but the regeneration powers. God. Oh, what a dish. Well, I fucking hope she wins. Oh God, yeah. Can I vote for me? Yeah. You know what? Everyone's talking about election fraud, so. Exactly, yeah yeah i'll slip in

there somehow don't you worry yeah yeah do it um how are things going with your government i know some shit's happening right yeah not great shit not great shit no i was gonna um tell you a bit about it okay i was gonna was going to say my jump on a head. No, no, no, no, no. Nice segue, love it. Thanks. To be honest, because I don't read the news, now the election's over.

Just not really seeing much about it, really. Yeah, it's still early days, I suppose, too. But, so, let me paint a picture of what's been happening. Paint it for me, baby. Okay. So, there was a knife attack. So, we don't have gunmen here that carry out attacks. We like knives.

It's more personal. Okay? Get a little bit closer. Get a little bit closer. A little bit closer. So it's a fucking tragic story. So there was a Taylor Swift themed holiday club on the 29th of July. And basically a knife man. Actually, I think Nigel maybe told me about this and I didn't realize I related.

Anyway, go on. So this knife man called Axel... Rose? Ruda Kubana. Okay. Basically went on a rampage and killed three young girls. Oh, fuck. And I mean, they were young, young.

Really cute. One of them was bb king she was six elsie dot stancombe who was seven and alice de silva and angua i think her name was she was nine and they just had a taylor swift party celebrating. Yeah. I love Taylor. Oh, God. Come out, been attacked. Ten others were seriously injured as well. So he really fucking went for it. Jesus. So obviously terrible, fucking horrendous, tragic. Then what's happened is a shitload of misinformation went round on social media, riled up the far-right Nazi groups, basically,

who assumed wrongly that the killer was a Muslim and an immigrant. Just based on his name. Yeah. They didn't even have his name at this point because so it's just the guy is actually 17 when this occurred that's not good okay they've now released his name because he's just about to become 18 so they've actually said you're going to be tried as an adult so they've released it and also to quell what's been happening right Right. I mean, he's a black guy, but he was born and raised in England. He's a Christian as well, which I think should be pointed out.

Yeah. But the far-right groups took it upon themselves to just use this as an excuse to start nationwide riots across the country, you you know doing awful things like attacking hotels where refugees and immigrants were being housed you know children are staying there as well

they've been looting and rioting setting fire to things it's just fucking horrendous and actually I saved a post from someone who lives in one of the areas that's been affected. They've deleted it. That's really annoying. Get a screenshot of that shit. Yeah, I should have done, sorry. But basically it was someone in Derby, I think. How far is that from you um

question it's up north from me okay so not I mean I think the bit that I saw about it there it was something in like Birmingham but yeah I mean it's been yeah it's been all over the place they've been like I've seen like screenshots of people that are in like telegram groups and Instagram groups where, where these guys are organizing and, you know, organizing to target all these different cities. How far is it from me? How far is it from me? So sort of... I'd call it kind of Midlands, yeah. Sort of near Birmingham-ish.

Okay. A good sort of four hours. Where did the attack occur? That was in Southport. Okay. Which is... But bottom line is this was sparking shit all over yes so southport's like near manchester okay area which is even norther i guess yeah um but yeah sparking shit everywhere and it was this post from this poor girl who she you know she comes from a muslim family i think her parents were immigrants or

refugees and you know they've lived there pretty much all their lives they're really hard-working people that have contributed to this country their whole lives tried to just live a quiet life and got on with things and it was just this like heartbreaking post about how she's now just terrified to leave her house because yeah she's getting death threats just walking to work like her parents are having to drive her to work because they're scared of her getting attacked and like her cousins getting like you'll be walking down the street and they're just getting threats from people driving down the road saying like i'm gonna fucking rape and kill you and stuff like it's fucking horrendous and they're terrified for their lives and all that it's really probably just anyone who doesn't look yes white christian

like it's exactly i'm from i don't know mexico you know exactly yeah um and it was funny as well because there were people commenting on it you know some guy that said you know i yeah um and it was funny as well because there were people commenting on it you know some guy that said you know i'm i'm from portugal originally and you know i wasn't born here and i've got a strong accent but the difference is i am white and so is my wife so we don't experience any racism um and it's just bloody awful, really. Like, these poor fucking people. But in response, what's been fucking brilliant to see is there have been anti-Nazi rallies. So people are getting wind of where these riots and stuff are meant to be taking place.

And then everyone against it's been coming out in the thousands and, like, protecting people of colour and anyone in danger and standing up against them. And it's fucking great. Yeah. It's just like they're not going to stand for it. And it's I guess it's obviously quite nice for the people that do feel in danger because at least they feel that they're not alone. And yeah, they are supported and they are welcome it's just this group of fucking nazi nutters that are twats so this continued even after they like released more information about the yeah

the perpetrator and they're like oh well we actually just were doing this because we wanted an excuse to you know be hateful towards muslims and immigrants and people of color so doesn't matter no matter no matter we're just going to carry on yeah it's just yeah i'm guessing to did they talk about a motive for this person Are we thinking it's mental health issues or what? Not that it matters much, but I mean, when I hear a 17 year old doing something like that, it makes, I don't immediately think like, Oh, clearly just an evil 17 year old, you know, he's been remanded into youth custody ahead of a pre-trial on the 25th of October. I'm sad.

I'm sad for everybody who was impacted by that and the subsequent unrest. Yeah, it's awful, isn't it? Just let people live their fucking lives, guys. You twats. Yeah. isn't it like yeah just let people live their fucking lives guys you twats yeah i just i mean the similar happened after um george floyd was murdered like we had the unrest in response to like what happened to george you know but then we also had people there's like theories about people coming from out of state or different parts of the state to like be agitators because they wanted to get some shit going to make like anti you know like police and like anti-police

violence um protesters look like they're you know being destructive and stuff like that and have everyone be pissed at them and i frankly i'm kind of like well you know what when like peaceful protesting doesn't work and people are still getting murdered and you know marginalized then like i don't really care about a building if that's what it takes but like there was just and then we had like people coming and like fighting like the proud boy movement and so it was just dumb it was fucking dumb i mean at least we're you know hopefully allowed to protest now did you hear about that they were

the conservatives were trying to ban protests even people I feel like I did but that might have been here even like I think that was maybe starting to happen here too and it's kind of like no that's like the whole like whole purpose of some

of the things in our constitution yeah and it's like throughout history the the one thing we have to make change and to make governments listen other than voting i guess but yeah but often we don't get a chance to vote no and this country on voting the way it is being made yeah yeah um yeah so it's just taking away our human right to protest well they i think saw what happened with the election as a sign of people don't you know they don't roll with that shit so hopefully yes yes. They don't even have a majority party anymore, do they? The Conservatives? No.

So, good luck. Good luck passing that. Good luck, dickheads. Yep. Well, so yeah. Hopefully, it'll sort of die down and I hope they arrest these skinhead Nazi ****. Sorry, shouldn't say that. Nazi bastards.

I'm fine with calling them. I mean, I get, like, probably the, like, genderedness of it, but, like, I don't think we need to worry about calling them bad names no i just know people some people don't like that word do they yeah yeah sorry maybe it's appropriate in this instance yeah i think it is actually sorry moms sorry mom well hopefully yeah like i guess i wish there it's hard i suspect to probably combat a group of, you know, thousands of Nazi pricks, you know, with law enforcement. But if the community is also showing up and showing out to, like, fight back against them, then that's got to be helpful. Yeah.

You okay? A little warm? Just pretty warm. I'm so angry. It's making me so mad. It's nothing to do with the weather jemma's just taking off her everyone so it's getting hot in here so take off all your clothes

on a more positive note oh do you want to hear a mad dating story? 100%. I haven't heard one in a while. First date as well. Ooh. Oh, man. So I heard this actually on another podcast. It was someone that had written in, so I'm stealing it.

Perfect. It's already been aired. You're telling me about what you heard. Exactly. So this girl, I think she was on holiday or on a trip. And she met a guy like on the beach. They hit it off. Started making out.

You know, a little holiday romance. Oh, sexy. So they're making out and stuff and he's like grabbing her hair and stuff and really, you know, really seamed into her hair. She's like, okay, you know. Whatever. I must have really great hair. Whatever. And he's like touching it and stroking it.

And at one point he's like, I like your hair can we cut it oh okay no yeah she's like uh you a hairdresser a little bit weird but no you can't cut my hair um i mean at this stage i say one red flag yeah that's one okay there's one so yeah she shrugged it off ended up going back to his room as you do okay you know his hotel room um now when she gets back to the room she noticed that there were a pair of haircutting shears. No. On the side. And like...

Red flag number two. Like chunks of hair as well. And again, at this stage, she should have left. No, she wanted to get some. That's exactly what she said. She was like, I was going through a real dry period, and I was like, I'm going to get mine. My vagina was thinking for me.

Exactly. So she stays for a little bit longer. And, I mean, I initially thought, like, like lady do you want to get murdered yeah yep anyway so they started getting it on he's getting really into her hair again he's really got a thing about her hair and he at one point he stops and he explains what he meant earlier was he basically had a kink for getting a blowjob and cutting their hair while he does it okay now what like what happened to him i don't know this guy clearly didn't get to play with barbies when he was younger and fucked their hair up. No, I guess not. Or maybe he did.

And it basically grew into something weirdly sexual. Okay. Exactly. All right. So the girl's like, you know, I don't want to kink shame anyone, whatever you're into. Fine. But I'm just not into that. And it's taken me ages to grow my hair this length.

So no, I'm not into it. Whatever. At this stage, she should have left again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But she didn't. She stayed. She got hers.

Ended up sleeping the night at his. Okay. Okay. So the next morning she's left and she said she was putting her hair up to go to the gym and she noticed there was a section at the top that just wouldn't go

into the ponytail and she was like, what the fuck? And so she asked her friend to have a look for her and she's got this huge chunk of hair missing that has been cut out so this fucking freak has cut a chunk of her hair out in the middle of the night while she was sleeping which she did not consent to no and he was probably like ejaculating at the same time i know like i wrote i'm probably jizzed in it for good measure i mean yeah like you i saw that coming

before you got there how come she didn't don't stay the night when he's a weirdo. He's got scissors on the side. Yeah, with hair. Who knows whose hair? Exactly. She says she can laugh about it now, but it was obviously fucking weird at the time and it took her years to grow back that section of hair as well. I bet. Not worth it. God.

Oh, fucking hell. But yeah, that's got to be the the worst one of the worst first dates you don't expect someone to cut a chunk of your hair out while you're sleeping you know i mean no and at first i thought it was kind of like okay he's got this weird kink with hair or like it's a trophy thing or you know whatever what she should have done was just cut a little bit off at the back and the bottom yeah well it sounds like he needs to do the cutting which is part of it um but then like it's just such a weird, specific combination of, it's like, I need my kink as someone basically stepping on my balls while singing Yankee Doodle Dandy. And it's like, what? How did you figure that out?

Like, what trauma did you endure that became some sort of weird sexual proclivity? Yeah. How did you discover that? Yeah. Yep. But I think the fact that she stayed the night was just so so so so dumb and i'm sorry gal but yeah i knew that was gonna happen so we all saw that coming yeah i'm not gonna say you're to blame because you're not no

but not at all but the signs were there who knows we all maybe could have found herself in that position i don't know the vibes were off though that brings me to a question that i saw i don't remember where i think it was on the facebook group about like when you're meeting someone for the first time um and you want to hook up would it be be better to go to their place or yours? And people were like having different responses about like what they felt was safe or a better option. And I'm curious what you think. Some people have been set a hotel and I was kind of thinking like, yeah, because chances are there's other people there who could hear your screams. And there's like CCTV cameras in the hall.

Yeah. I think both are just kind of as dangerous as each other yeah if you're at their house then you're stuck in their house and if they're at your house but you could leave you could leave instead of having to ask them to leave i suppose and having them know where you live which could be yeah that's very true yeah but i guess if you have a roommate or other people are at your house that might feel safer but again still the risk I think that's what a lot of people are like I mean trying to get them out of my house and then also them knowing where I live feels like worse than going to theirs where I could try to leave but then of course it's kind of like unknown territory who

knows what's there like people know where you're at then maybe you need to share your location with people and then that's when some people are saying a hotel and then someone was like I don't know if you know this but people get murdered at hotels too yeah okay they get murdered everywhere yeah yeah yeah I think hotels probably safer I mean I knew someone who uh was dating this girl for a while. And I think she came over to his once. And then when he sort of called it off and broke it off with her, like she hand delivered like a three-page letter through the letter box. Her hair. And it was sealed with blood.

But that was like, oh, oh fuck she knows where you live and she seems pretty unhinged so hopefully that's the last of it you don't get petrol bombed through the fucking window yeah i suppose the i mean again if you're just kind of wanting to hook up that's more power to you but i suppose then it's, maybe just don't go that round until you feel like you know someone a little bit better. But even then people show their true colors after a while and you don't want to look at hiding. if I I think I probably would prefer a hotel or their place and I would like be sharing my location and stuff with a friend um but I guess I've also never had to be I've never been in that situation so I suppose when you came over to England to see Nigel you couldn't go anywhere really yeah did I ever tell you what the joke was about that I think I did right I don't know did you Lauren and I would joke about how it's just a lure for me to come over and be like the au pair for his and his wife's children

and like it becomes some sort of like indentured servant for them. Because I think what helped is that obviously the people we met, Sean, I met Sean through like I knew them. Mutual friends. Yes. It wasn't like a scenario where it was like we met online and now I'm going to go visit this person I've never met before. Have you seen the, I can't remember what it's called. There's a program called the, it's like the Never Mets or something. And it's like these people that have been dating long distance for like years and have never met the person they're dating. And then in the show, they finally get to meet them.

Sounds kind of like 90 Day Fiancé a little bit bit but a lot of those people have met before. Yeah well these guys like you know they've just literally had a phone relationship like FaceTime and stuff. Okay so they've maybe seen each other but not in person. Yeah but not properly met and then on the show you see them finally meet and some of them go really well. How many people were like. Some of them don't Like, oh, you somehow don't look at all like I thought you would somehow. There was this one guy, they were really cute, actually, really cute couple. And he was from England. She was a girl living, I think it was in Thailand, but like, you know, proper rural Thailand in a village. And she supported her family by working because her parents couldn't work. And he went over to stay with her and meet her family and stuff.

And it was really sweet. Like they're, you know, meeting for the first time was lovely and they're really cute together. But obviously Thailand has very different sort of cultural expectations and stuff. And literally like the first dinner he sat down with her parents. They're asking like, when are you going to propose to her and when are you going to have kids and he was just sitting there like what the fuck i just wanted to meet her in person i mean i suppose there are times too where they don't even know each other they've never spoken before and then they meet because it's like an arranged marriage

situation. Yeah. But, you know, for like for her parents, maybe it's like we've been like kind of in this relationship for some time now. Yeah. So when's the next step, folks? Come on. Yeah.

I guess so. Like also kind of makes me think of, I'm sure you've heard of it, the show Catfish. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like, oh, you know, I've been, I've had this kind of like mostly online relationship, but we've talked on the phone for like the past five years, but they refuse to have any sort of video call with me.

And I just love them, but I'm not sure. And I was like, Jesus, five years. And they have an excuse for why they can't have a video call with you each time. And you're like, I just have sort of a weird feeling about it so like guys come on especially if they're asking for money as well i think this is yep not real yep there was one i saw where they thought they were talking to lil bow wow oh i saw that one absolutely convinced they were in a relationship she was in a relationship with lil bow wow yep and wasn't it like it was like it was a girl wasn't it yeah it was like her friend i don't know like wanted to fuck with her maybe why do people do that i don't know there's so

many where it's like i think one was like the guy's cousin. Oh, no. Yeah, not, and I don't know if it was because she like had romantic. I think she just was like, I don't know, I'm bored. It's such a commitment. Yeah. The amount of effort. Oh, God. Or some of my favorite ones where it's like they go and meet and they meet the, like they have who are with them and they're like oh yeah you know i know that they're they've been talking to

this person for some time and i'm like it's you it's that person i can tell that your friend is catfishing you and then they do the reveal and it's like yeah it's them they just like well we're gonna go meet your catfish your friend's here and then it's just like hi it's me oh god yep that's a funny times i think i'm sure some of it's probably faked or staged up a little bit for the drums for the plot but i do think like those are people who are like i need help figuring out my cat if i'm being catfished yeah well i can tell you now sarah probably are yeah yeah yeah oh good times good times i've actually just started watching love is blind uk did you know that they're filming one here yeah because they they do the us one's been around for for ages i've never watched it and then the uk one came on and

i was like i'll give it a go why not just need something to put on in the background and it's one of those fucking shows yeah you watch five minutes of it and then you're like I need to know what happens I think I will watch the Minneapolis one but like there's been some leaking of like the people who are on it because they're friends and I'm like oh I wonder if I know anyone and I'm like oh they're all like 21 no I don't know any of these people because I'm old well funnily enough a lot of the the UK ones are all like in their 30s because they're actually like people but like desperate to get married you know what it's interesting because I feel like there are like some people who are just like I just want to be on reality tv but then like some of those dating shows people are like legitimately trying to find love, you know, um, too hot to handle is one that I kind of secretly obsessed with. And those are just people who I think are like, Ooh, reality

TV show, uh, like all, you know, expenses paid on a tropical island. Yeah. Like none of those people are serious. Right. Um um but then there's also like are you the one i think it's are you the one or are like perfect match or something and i do think those people are trying but then there's always the like crazy ones yeah i mean love is blind is fucking batshit crazy like on the first episode there's a couple that have i say meet i've met but they haven't met because obviously they're you know because they're screen like they're on opposite sides of a screen yeah uh and yeah they they talked three times and then he tells her he loves her and proposes to her and she accepts and i'm just like sorry what is happening here like this is fucking mental yeah that is i would just be like okay sure okay like

i get that the goal what the goal is here but like let's be honest and be like i would like to move forward with you and see where this goes maybe we should just talk a little bit more but yeah that's not the premise of the show is it no i'll just take your number and we'll see how things go in a few years yeah well because so they they pair up then they finally get to see each other right and then don't they have to like go live together yeah i think they live together for like four weeks and then they decide whether they want to actually marry them or not no thank you yeah no thank you because you're gonna end up with a guy who cut wants to cut your hair exactly giving him a blowjob that's it how do you discover these things if you don't know

you're stuck with him now you fucking married the guy yeah yeah i just put on a wig and be like all right let me get my blowjob wig i think we got an episode title oh yeah there is you just have to you just have to love them weird kinks and all you know you found a solution to that one pretty quickly though so I'm a problem solver okay you are clearly

do you guys have a problem solver, okay? You are, clearly. Do you guys have a problem need solving? Write to us. I will find you a solution. No matter how hard. No matter how hard is weird kink, Kate's got your back. Yep.

We're going to make sure everyone has a good consensual time. Oh, that's gross. Yeah. All right. We're going to do an Am I the asshole? You know we are, baby. Yes, yes, yes. Our friend,

friend of the pod, Matt, said he couldn't find the update to the woman whose husband was trying to murder her and get her to sign something. She said that i yeah yep i'm thinking so yeah uh-huh sad all right this one went a little bit viral and there's been lots of buzz about it about it yeah let's hear. So I thought it'd be interesting to discuss our thoughts. So my fiance and I, both 30s, are getting married in a couple of months.

We now need to finalize our menu choices for our guests. Now, we are vegetarian. In general, we're pretty relaxed vegetarians. If we go out, we totally don't mind if our friends and family choose to eat meat or fish same if we visit family as long as there's a veggie option then great i'm gonna pause and say that doesn't mean they're relaxed it means that they don't force their beliefs on other people which i think is great but let's be honest and say vegetarianism shouldn't be that the people around you also

have to be vegetarian carry on cool um so now back to the wedding on looking at the choices and given it's our day we thought it would be nice to have a fully vegetarian menu my 32 female parents are paying for the meal and have been absolutely stunned by this choice. They say it's disrespectful to people who aren't in the vegetarian culture. And also disrespectful to our own values in terms of ensuring our friends have a nice time. They say it's forcing our ethics on other people. Oh my God. They say it's forcing our ethics on other people.

Oh, my God. My viewpoint is it's only one meal on our day where I'm sure it will be delicious whatever they're served. None of our friends have ever complained when coming to our house for vegetarian food. But my parents say it's different at a wedding because people expect luxury food, in quotes. Oh, they do? Apparently so. Okay. food in quotes oh they do apparently so okay especially if they're traveling traveling from broad which many are and apparently this needs to include me i am honestly natalie imbrugliard torn on this

that's amazing i'm stealing that um personally i don't mind that much if our guests eat meat but it is inconsistent with our own life choices and it's our day so that could make it feel inauthentic and i think the whole focus on meat thing is quite generational my parents are in their 60s um my fiance agrees with me but the issue is my parents are very kindly paying for the meal so would i be the arsehole if i got everyone only vegetarian food uh no because there is they do have a value system We don't know what it is. And I could see how purchasing food, even if they're parents, but like actively serving food that they wouldn't normally serve because of their diet is – would suck. There is delicious vegetarian food out there. Like delicious food.

That was what I was going to say. vegetarian food out there. That was what I was going to say. And also it is one meal and people like you don't like you serve what you want at your wedding. You might make some considerations for people like you might have a vegetarian option for people and a meat option. But like I think that by serving vegetarian food, you're also not forcing people to eat something that they wouldn't normally eat anyways. Like people eat vegetables even if they have a steak with their salad. They have still have – so it's like it's not like they're saying we only eat fish and shellfish. And so everyone has to eat shellfish even if you're allergic or whatever.

We don't give a fuck. It's like that is not what's happening here. And so no, not the asshole. I actually think their parents are being the asshole by saying, you know, we're paying for this and you need to do this because I'd be like, well, if it's that big of a deal and you're, you know, like bring a sandwich then or I guess don't pay for it and we'll take care of it. I don't know.

But that is a tricky space to be in, I think, because I know wedding planning, particularly when other people are like kind of running some of the costs. Yeah. It starts not becoming about you. But I also have said probably on this podcast is that weddings really aren't about you. They are for other people. I just think like I'm thinking about like pasta and curries and other things that are delicious and have no meat in them. And people are going to be fine.

And you probably won't even notice. Yeah yeah you could probably use like a substitute meat yeah and people wouldn't even know possible chicken or impossible burger and yeah yeah man i agree so that's that's how i feel how do you feel yeah i feel the same like i actually find vegetarian options in restaurants are usually the most delicious because they're trying really hard, yeah, to make it really nice. And I was vegetarian for a while, like a year. It's fine. Great.

This person's got a good point. They've said, not the arsehole. Omnivores have all eaten plenty of vegetarian and even vegan meals without intending to. Had a bowl of cereal for breakfast? Bam. Vegetarian meal. Yep.

It does not seem like it's pushing anything on anyone any more than any food choice would be. If you're offered chicken, would you be pushing chicken onto people? This is being over-politicised and overly dramatised by the people around you. It's not even really a culture, is it? It's just a dietary practice or preference. Your parents may decide not to pay for the meal, and that's their prerogative,

although I'd consider it kind of shitty to withdraw the financial support over this choice. But it's your day, and this is a very reasonable choice to make this way um you can try or sample all the food on the menu and not be excluded from your own celebration that's what i'm saying like people are it's not like you're doing something weird that people either have never eaten or can't eat. And they, like this person said, probably have had plenty of vegetarian meals unintentionally or just because they thought it sounded good. You know, I'm not a vegetarian, but I usually opt for that on an airplane because that meat seems kind of weird. And again, if it's her parents being dicks about it, then I'd be like, you can bring some cooked chicken and put it on your pasta if you really need to then. Yeah, exactly.

Someone else said, I would be mindful of letting people know what the options or option may be. it's one thing to have a steak chicken fish with sides where people can leave part of the meal out by a guest due to allergies but another to serve a beautiful vegetarian dish which i find tend to have more of a blend ingredients as the main part of the dish or an allergen more hidden in the recipe than steak with potato and broccolini for example so they make a good point i think to say you know we plan to serve you know kind of all vegetarian friendly meals at our at at the you know party please let us know if you have any dietary restrictions or allergies that we need to know about yeah and they can cater for that and you honestly could ask that even if you weren't doing vegetarian to be honest because i like while that person has a good point like i'm thinking

about typical food for weddings and it's like there's going to be a vegetable there's going to be seasoning there's going to potentially be nut and you know some people like if you have a close friend you probably know whether so-and-so has a nut issue and you're going to have to have a special thing, right? Yeah. Or a gluten thing. And caterers should be like able to accommodate that. But I think like that would be a way to just notify everyone what's happening and still give them an opportunity to be like, yeah i'm super allergic to mushrooms you know this other person says this is a tricky question because of cultural expectations and nuance you mentioned a lot of the family are coming from overseas and this is a big expense and hassle for many of them and if they know your parents are paying for the meal they

may very well judge your parents for being bad hosts. And then it's your mum and dad that get the flack, not you. And that's kind of not fair. Normally, if a bride and groom are hosting their own wedding, and most people are local, i.e. North American, then I would say not the arsehole and go ahead. As you say, it's one meal and vegetarian food is delicious. But if you are layering different cultural traditions and norms on top plus the fact that your parents are paying for your wedding part of the wedding then i would gently suggest that you reconsider compromising you mentioned that you are easygoing about your vegetarianism so why make this such a hill to die on if you really want to have everything exactly that way or exactly your way then pay for the entire wedding yourself, and that way your parents can't be blamed.

A couple things. I don't, I mean, I get it. I get that they said they're easygoing, but I also think if it's like it's our wedding, so we're going to serve the food we like, right? But also, people coming to their wedding probably know they're a vegetarian. Yeah. You'd think these people would know you. Yeah. And did you know who paid for what at my wedding?

Nope. Yeah. And in fact, you probably just assumed we paid for it, right? I didn't – and maybe close family, people talk, I get it. But also it's just like I have never been to a wedding and been like, whoever paid for this food really fucked it up and should be blamed. In fact, I don't think I've ever even really judged food negatively. I think I was just happy to be fed.

I've certainly been like, this is amazing food. Like at Silas and Charlie's wedding was amazing food. God damn, that ton of food was good. Oh my God, it was so good. We need to pause just to recall how good that food was. But I've never, I mean, certainly I've been like, oh, you know, I'm not a big fan of that. But also that's because of my own, like, I just don't love pork, right? Like it's not because, oh my God, this food is shit.

And again, just like happy to have been fed for it's like a free meal for me so it's a free day man you're getting a free party yeah come on and also i don't really agree with that person's yeah exactly i don't really agree with that person's comment about like i think people probably know them well enough and if they're gonna i mean it's too late to send out the invites, I guess. But no one's going to probably be surprised if it's vegetarian food, as long as you make sure it's fucking good. They probably won't even fucking notice. Give me that vegetarian lasagna, sir and ma'am.

That sounds amazing. Yes, please. Okay, what do you think of this one? You would be the asshole. Think of it this way. What do you expect as a vegetarian when you go to a carnivore's wedding? A vegetarian option. If they know you're vegetarian and don't provide one,

leaving you to eat carrot sticks and cake, you're upset. Same goes for your wedding. Be the host you expect everyone else in your life to be. Provide a carnivore option or at least fish, and you are playing by the same rules you expect everyone else to play by i'm sorry is there someone who are people out there who are just straight carnivore i only eat animal products there are some people yeah because i guess if so then that's extreme you know yeah if so then i mean, I suppose, but I suppose those people who are straight carnivore

probably are also used to the fact that they might go somewhere that can't accommodate them if they only eat animal products because there's going to be a vegetable or a bread or something. Yeah, that's going to be hard to find. Yeah, so I don't know. Like, again, they probably know the people they're inviting and their choices maybe not every like maybe not every plus one and stuff but um just as the people who are invited know that they're vegetarian and might need i guess i need to bring my own piece of meat and i will have the gator or cook it yeah if it's a protein

issue then you know bring a protein bar like you often don't even know what the food's gonna be yeah at the wedding and like you might put any like allergies or what have you on the rsvp but you often don't get a choice do you know what i mean you just turn up and you get given a plate of food or the food is a buffet or whatever and you and often kids are just eating carrot six because they're so fucking picky exactly so I don't even think like as you say if it was like a lasagna or a pasta dish it doesn't even need to be addressed I don't think. Like if I were doing a specific diet to lose weight, like keto, I'm not going to be like,

you better have keto-friendly options at your wedding. Exactly, yeah. And, you know, just worst case scenario, put some fucking bread and butter on the table and people will eat that. And, you know, most caterers do sides and some people will do like a little later in the day snack or something. Or include chips or fries and they'll be happy. Yeah. Yeah.

Do what you want. It's your wedding. Not the arsehole. I guess I'm not surprised it went viral, but I am surprised that people have like kind of diverging opinions on it because again,'s kind of like well it's your wedding like i think some people get really um opinionated yeah but about like vegetarianism and veganism well veganism is different particularly that's even different too because that now we're talking about like fake like nut butter and fake cheese and like that's even more restrictive and i think like there could be like people might not actually enjoy the food that's available because i do think it can like i think there is really great vegan food out there too but i do think there's some things that it it starts becoming outside the realm of like kind of normalcy for people vegan

cheese yeah that's what i mean so if you found a vegan caterer that can really make the food taste fucking good and you have someone who's not a vegan go and eat it with you and you're like, that's fucking amazing, then I think you're good. But I also think like you're probably going to like whatever it is because you're used to it. And that's why you might want to fact check. But we're just talking about like it's so easy to do really good vegetarian. Yeah. It's so easy. Exactly. good vegetarian yeah it's so easy exactly and a lot of cultures are they don't eat yeah i was gonna say like indian food indian like authentic indian food is usually vegetarian and tastes fucking outrageously good it's because

they actually have flavor to their food and i I think Americans are just like, we don't flavor. We like it fried. We like it with, I mean, pepper is kind of spicy. I suppose, yeah. You know, that really excites me. Salt might be a little spicy for some people. So really just a steak is what I'm going to eat. And I love steak.

I don't. I would love steak. I don't. See, I hate steak. I would eat steak every day. Oh. What? Are we fighting? I just, no, not yet. I just don't like it.

It's mainly because I don't like eating bloody meat. It puts me off. And I know that a steak is best rare or medium rare. You know that's not the blood, though. That's just like the blood has gone after them. Hemoglobin or something. No, I can't remember what it is. It looks like it's blood, but it's just colored juice.

I know. It makes me aware I'm eating an animal and I don't like it. So if I have a steak, I have to have it well done, and then it's basically like a chewy piece of leather. Horrible. Don't like it. I also had a thing for years. I didn't like eating chicken off the bone because again, I was like, well, I'm eating it.

The tendons. Yeah. No, I struggle with that. I'm better now. But I used to literally have to have someone cut the chicken, like the meat off the bone and then give it to me. See, I've just never been a huge meat eater anyway really so it's just you fucking love sausage i've seen you put those away i like

processed meats that aren't that don't look like real meat give me a sausage give me a burger yeah yeah i get it though but um i do like my steak less cooked and could eat it all but i would not be mad if i went to a wedding where they didn't give me a steak you know no that's it i get you know her parents are paying for it fine but just be like i'll just like mom if you want a steak then we'll have them bring you one steak. Okay? Yeah. Like, you get it, but people are going to be like, why do you get a steak? And it's like, because I'm a bitch and I controlled my daughter's catering.

That's what you get to say. Exactly. Mom, that's what you have to say. I'm going to give you a sign or a card that you have to give out every time someone asks about your meal. Yeah. I think that's a good idea. Do that.

Yeah. Solved it. Not the asshole. At all. Well, there we go. Once again, we've solved blowjob wigs to cards that say I'm a dick for your daughter's wedding. Really, again, tell us what your problems are we'll fix them we are well kate is a problem solver you are too we work it out together i just like to get along with people

i'm a people pleaser yeah but you know i wouldn't have figured them out if i didn't like work it out with you you know true true true you know i'll i contribute something you're my inspo you're my muse oh wow you got any shows coming up you need to plug we're playing at a pub in Brighton called the Signalman on the hold on that sounds like a machine starting that nice job Hold on.

That sounds like a machine starting. Nice job. Thank you. 24th of August, we're playing at the Signalman in Brighton. Nice. I believe at around 3 p.m. in the afternoon. And then the following day on the 25th, we're playing at the White Hart in Cuckfield I think that's Cuckfield

I think that's around 6 possibly that's what's in my diary but I may be completely wrong about that but yeah if you want to come and listen to some live music, sit in a beer garden get drunk, have some nice food I know I do I'd come if I could good

one day well until next time until next time you've been listening to Talking Shit with a Yankee and a Brit and you can find us you do it you just do it you can find us

at tsybPod on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube. I think that's all the accounts we've got. X. Twitter. And if you would like to send in any dilemmas you have, any questions, any terrible first date stories, any weird kinks you've come across fun facts fun facts that you've discovered and you want to teach us something that'll be fab um you can email us at talk shit to us at gmail.com. See you soon. Bye. Bye. you