Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 62. Trumps Slime Pond

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

This week we're talking about the US election result, trying out old Dutch words for a 'lady garden', an Am I The Ass**** and we help an actual listener with a dilemma!!!Send in your questions, opinions and dilemmas to [e-mail] or @TSYBPOD on socials!

Hello there, Catherine. Hello Gemma. Here we are back once again for the Renegade Master. Deeper damage, I come to the people. I was just gonna say, given the vibe we had on our little pre-record sesh, we need like a sadder version of her music, but maybe not. Sheed us up again. Yep, just hearing it got me all jazzed and vibed and good to go. Oh yeah, baby.

Yeah, sorry for the delay, everyone. In our episodes, life happened again. And my dog died basically, so I've been depressed and grieving and couldn't face recording. So I'm still those things, but just a little bit better now. So that's why. Thank you. Sorry, bye. A little more resilient.

Yeah. Yeah, and I know you know that I know how hard it is and I am sorry. And that's okay. I think if anything we've kind of conveyed in this podcast that you do what you can with what you have. And so that's what we've tried to do. I mean, I think even in discussions about restarting, I needed a minute given some of the recent happenings in my world. So yeah, a little grace for people is what is necessary.

And I don't think this world has enough of it. Hell yeah. Well said. Aside from that very difficult thing, how have you been? busy. And my brain isn't working currently, so I don't really know. How are you? Yeah. Same. I feel like just very much going through the motions, but also avoiding things. I've gotten very adept at being like, I just don't feel like, nor have the capacity to do that right now. So I'm gonna say no to things I normally would say yes to because I enjoy them, not necessarily out of obligation.

No surprise. I think that's healthy though, as well. You know, saying no to more shit to take care of your own stuff. I agree. I think you can get into a pattern though, especially if you're starting to isolate, which I mean, I have no surprise. I've been playing a lot of video games still. It's nice to check out with those. Very easy to check out with video games. Are you really good

at them though? I'm so good at video games. I don't say that about myself a lot about most things, but I'm very good at video games. I'm loving this you. Yeah. Um, well, I think we could probably, you know, say that we're here today and we will continue to have the goal of recording but again there might be gaps there might be breaks and um that doesn't mean we're gone it just means we're having to deal with shit and life and um you know as you guys all know I'm in America and Gemma's in England and there's a big time difference and that's hard

with schedules so we're doing our best okay. We're trying our hardest. I mean we were, so yeah, we were going to do a pre-election episode. But we didn't. Now we know the result of said US election. And that orange faced baboon has won by quite some numbers, I will say. It's quite shocking. I would describe it as a landslide.

I think that's how others are describing it. So I'm not gonna argue with you there. So that's fucked, but how are you feeling? How's the vibe in America or where you are at least? America or where you are at least. So I think we talked a lot about how I'm feeling and my concerns about this election over the last few months and how I was kind of like feeling really anxious and kind of despondent over it. And then maybe like, okay, maybe, maybe I don't need to. And then kind of back again.

And I think by the time election day rolled around, I expected Trump to win. I did. I, yes, I, and I think that's because of who I am as a person and really having like preparing for the worst, having low expectations because then it's you, you you can kind of manage it or, or at least like at least the dismay or shock and just not being prepared to me is worse than having what you anticipated come true even if it's not what you wanted. I think there was a very small part of me in the back of my brain that was like, I could

be wrong and I hope I'm wrong, but I really didn't allow myself to explore that. But I have friends who have said I need to have hope in order to go on. And I can totally respect that too. And I wish that like that worked for me, but it doesn't. I think what surprised me is the numbers that it wasn't close. And like it, if anything, it was clear.

It just reinforced what I already knew about this country is that we're horrible or horrible horrible horrible selfish people who care more about the price of eggs than humanity so and I think one thing that I struggled with as I've talked about is like I was not like full 100% positive love, you know, the current administration or some of the things that Harris kind of said and the things she didn't say, I needed her. And so like there was a whole group of movement of people who said, like, we won't vote if genocide continues and these certain things continue into, you know, a Harris administration,

we would not, we'll just not vote. And so when I was seeing after the election, kind of some people are like, something's fishy here. How do we have like turnout voter registration? And yet the numbers are so different than they were in 2020 when we also had turnout. And I was like, people told us they were not going to vote. I think it's something like 40 million people didn't vote or something, isn't it? They didn't like they vote like because the other confusion was how did we lose

the presidential election in certain states, but they voted for a democratic governor, for democratic policies to be passed and put into law. And I was like, because they didn't vote for president and they voted for everything, submitted a vote for everything else on the ballot. It's not really that difficult. And people who went to only vote for president and nothing else.

So we had a bunch of Trump voters who just went to vote for Trump and ignored everything else on the ballot. And we had a bunch of people who are liberal, Democrats, whatever, who did not want Trump to win, but did not vote for president and voted for everything else down ballot. And so to me, the numbers don't necessarily suggest there's something like untoward or fraudulent or something happening. But I also don't know enough about that. I just like when people were acting really shocked, I was just thinking to myself, well,

we knew people were telling us they weren't going to vote if this is what the platform was going to be. So. Yeah. And it's not surprising. I mean, Kamala was the lesser of two evils, but as you've spoken about before, she's made some dodgy decisions in the past. And also, it's funny, I was talking to Charlie about it before it all happened and she was like, the only thing she's talking about is the abortion thing. Like I have no idea what her other policies are, what else she stands for.

You know, it was kind of a... Yeah, I mean, there may have been more information in your guys' news and stuff, and obviously we didn't delve that deep into it. But yeah, it was just a bit of a sort of... The talking points were about abortion and, you know, immigration and patients eating pets and yeah, there were these certain things that I think continually were reiterated throughout the campaign. Yeah. And I think the issue we have, even if, even with Trump, like he's a arguably a horrible person. He's a convicted rapist and he's a convicted felon, but guilty civilly of sexual assault. I think that he wasn't convicted of rape, but yeah.

Okay. Yeah. But he's very charismatic. No, he's not. Disagree. Okay. I mean, have you seen some of the rallies where he- Not two other people.

Oh yeah, where he stood there for like 40 minutes just listening to music. He's not. I think that, I don't think charisma is like, some people might think that, but I don't think charisma is the thing that got him either, you know, but sorry, go on. So I was listening to a podcast with a guy, can't remember his name,

so that's not helpful. He was a staunch Harris supporter. And they were talking about the election, it was all before it happened. And you know, he was going to bet a shitload of money on Harris winning and da da da da. But they were talking about Trump and they were saying that, you know, like he's been on a real media campaign. He's gone on all these huge podcasts. He went on Joe Rogan, who has a fucking huge following. He went to McDonald's. He went to McDonald's, yeah. He got in a garbage truck. And so he's a TV personality,

but whether you like him or not, he was constantly in people's faces. And the other person on the podcast said like, the podcast said like, I've got a female friend who, again, you know, voting for Harris, obviously hates Trump, but she watched the Joe Rogan full interview with Trump. And he said, you know, I asked her what she thought about it afterwards. And she was like, obviously I hate the guy, but I'm not going to lie, I laughed out loud like four times at stuff he said because he is funny at points. So even someone who hates him and dislikes everything about him still found something funny that he said. Whether it was she was laughing at him or with him,

I don't know. But I think that speaks volumes as to, done 10,000 steps. You know, that people, how have I done 10,000, I've been sitting down. Yeah, and they also made a really interesting point that the Democrats failed to catch the attention of young men. No, Trump got that. Trump got that. But they didn't put any effort into trying to capture that audience. So obviously who they're going to go to, they're going

to vote for Trump. And they made quite an interesting point, which I think will lead us onto something else of, he said what they should have said was if Trump gets in and you know removes all these rights for women's bodies and abortion laws and da da da da, then you are not gonna have sex anymore. So it's in your best interest to keep these laws and rights for women going. And lo and behold, we now see this 4B movement. Yeah. Before we get into that, I've been thinking a lot about this too.

It seems to me like young men and maybe older men too, it's almost a response to what they perceive to be this threat to their manhood. Or in like, cause you know, we've talked about toxic masculinity, we've talked about, you know, kind of the issues there and the patriarchy. And I think I wonder if there was like met white men in particular were starting to feel more threatened than normal, that their way of life that they believe is the best way, which places white men and men

kind of at the top of the hierarchy as being threatened. And so the response became overwhelmingly like, yeah, I'm feeling really marginalized because women, you know, don't like when I cat call them or something. I'm kind of simplifying it. Almost this like, it's kind of like when we have a feminist being called a man-hater and this like theory of misandry, which is like hatred towards men and thinking it's hatred towards men and not hatred towards the system that has been put in place that benefits men to the detriment of women and confusing those things and like Andrew Tate and all of that. And I think some of the things

that I've seen online now in response where it's like, ha ha, your body my choice, fuck you. Like it's so gross and then also, I don't know if you saw like around the country, black and brown, like black people are getting these texts that are like, you have been selected to report to the nearest plantation and like, you have been selected to report to the nearest plantation. And like, yeah, yeah, just like instantly. He hasn't even taken office yet and the shit's happening.

So it's really, I think goes to show our country hates women, our country hates anybody who's not white. And that is, I think where I am sitting and just reflecting and like, I knew this where I am sitting and just reflecting, I'm like, I knew this, but also I didn't realize it was like this bad. Like I really had hoped secretly in the back of my mind

that while there are people out there like that, there were more people who weren't. And I still like to think there is, and just hopefully a lot of them just didn't vote. Yeah, for reasons that I get. I get it. I think we, you know, I don't know, it's difficult. We can't. Well it's really hard to be like, I hate everything about Trump. Therefore, I will vote for Harris when I also hate murdering of children.

You know, like I get that dilemma. And I think I honestly, I could be wrong here, but just based on the people I've talked to who kind of made the decision to not vote for that particular race, I think they maybe had a secret hope too that like it would, they voted their values, but there would still be enough people

to kind of like push Harris across the finish line. And that they could still honor their values and their beliefs without guilt about basically endorsing genocide. They didn't, yeah. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, I get it. But now look what's happened. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, I get it. But now look what's happened. Yeah. The other thing that I think about it too is there is this sense of, well, this

wouldn't happen to me or those I care about. So like, I won't name names, but I'm aware of conversations people are having with their family members who support Trump and how, you know, well, I hope I don't get pregnant and then have a miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy that requires me to have to go to an entirely different state to get care or, or I'll die and the response is, well, that won't happen to you. Yes, it will though. Yes, it will. No, no, because I'll take you to the hospital and you'll get the care you need. No, that won't happen. And this belief that it's not going to impact them or the people they care about. And so

like, you know, we talked about Project 2025 briefly, and there was some conversation about people who aren't natural born citizens are going to be deported. Well, that would be Nigel. And while I'm not at this point concerned about Nigel's, you know, ability to live in the country and remain a citizen. If it so happens that that is something this administration does and he is at risk, not that I'm, you know, I mean, it's not like he would have to go back to a place where he had to flee because of war or persecution or threat of death.

My friends and family who voted for Trump did that to him. And it's like, well, I didn't think it would happen to people I know or care about. So why are you voting for things that don't impact you or people you care about that literally have no bearing on your life, first of all? And second of all, then why do you hate people so much that even people you don't know, like these horrible things could happen to you? then why do you hate people so much

that even people you don't know, like these horrible things could happen to you? Exactly, even if it couldn't affect you, it's affecting a huge number of people. In a way that you wouldn't want to happen to you or people you care about. Exactly. And like the whole, I've heard stories of, even doctors are scared to give certain treatments to women in these states because they're scared they're going to get

prosecuted for it. So even the people that can help are scared to do that now, which is ultimately going to affect and lose lives. So it could happen to you if you're in one of those affected areas. It's a really small-minded way to think about it. If you're thinking, oh, that won't affect me. Well, it might affect your friend. It might affect one of your family members. And also, eggs and bread aren't going to get cheaper. Like I've read a lot about people who were like, well, the tariffs are going to charge other countries. No, actually, it's impacting us. It's going to impact us. So you just voted against your interests on something because you weren't informed and you listened just full bore,

believed 100% that this person who doesn't know what he's talking about is telling the truth. And now he's going to do all of these things that actually only benefit the wealthy and his cronies and not middle America, which, you know, and I agree, like the Democrats, the Democratic Party is out of touch with a lot of people, including the working class and the lower middle class and all of that. So like, I get it, like they, and the young men,

but like people still voted for something that actually is gonna impact them negatively in a way that they think isn't gonna happen and so yeah. Yeah. I don't know that's what's so upsetting I think and not that I think things were gonna be sunshine and rainbows if Paris won. I think if anything I was like well there might be an opportunity to pressure her to do things like stop contributing to genocide and all of these things. So yeah and I think it's got to a point now where people are so sick of the way things have been for so long that they just kind of wanted change regardless of what that meant.

Yeah. They just wanted to shake the system up. So even if Trump is saying all this crazy ass fucking batshit stuff, they still just wanted some sort of change and the Democrats need to look at that and take note of that because look what's happened again. But also as well, if you look at actually the financial position of America, I know the everyday people probably don't feel it because of inflation and da da da da da, but actually the country is in a much better position under Biden's presidency than it ever was when Trump was in. But for some reason they've got this

kind of rose tinted view that everything was incredible when Trump, I don't know why or how they're thinking that and that it's going to happen again. And it didn't like, as you say, he's just going to impose things that help the wealthy people and not the working class. He doesn't give a shit about the working class. So it's, yeah, it's, if they'd actually done their own research and looked into how the country is performing and how the currency is performing in GDP. And then you would have seen that actually you're in a pretty good fucking position. Um, it's just not rolled down to the everyday working people yet. Yeah. What's the reaction there to this? I'm just curious. Just kind of, I mean the media is like disbelief, you know, it looks at reports about how this is going to affect Europe and the UK's relationship with

America and will Kia Sama be able to build a relationship with Trump. I can't even imagine them two meeting to be honest. Like it's sort of timid humanitarian going to this orange Donald Trump. Like yeah, no idea how that's going to go. Did you see the clip about the Parliament in Scotland and one of the, you know, members basically criticizing the first minister for saying like congrats on your win Donald and he's like I as first minister of Scotland have a duty to like ensure the social social cultural financial ties that we have with the US remain intact for Scotland's best interests.

And so like on one hand I get that they're like, it's probably just standard to say anytime there's a new president, but also it was like congrats to convicted felon Donald Trump. And yeah, and so and I was just like, yeah, I could totally understand if all of our allies were like, well, good luck America, sorry. We wouldn't and we couldn't because America is such a powerful country. Only because we have the backing of all these countries, of all of the countries who are our allies

and kind of tried to maintain relationships with us banded together with each other. And not the, I mean, I think that would have an impact but unfortunately it's like thinking about it singularly like if England did it kind of like wouldn't really have a big impact except for on England. So if we all pulled together. But then they'd probably nuke us all wouldn't't they? Well, yeah, I don't know. But yeah, the 4B movement. Yeah, so...

Going back to... Well, you're not going to have sex now, so you should have a vested interest in ensuring kind of the bodily autonomy of women. Exactly. From what I know- You see, there's been my body, sorry, your body, my choice. And now women are turning around. So it was originally a movement in Korea?

South Korea? Yeah, South Korea. Yeah, South Korea. And so women are saying, well, if that's the rules, then I will not be having any casual sex, I will not be dating, I am abstaining from, yeah, not giving birth. Not getting married. Not getting married. Which you know, don't blame them. If I was living in America and I was single, I'd be doing them like I'm saying. Yeah.

Because they don't feel safe. But what I do, I am concerned about is that that is going to piss off the men even more and sexual assaults may increase. And not get prosecuted. That was my thought too. Yeah. So maybe just lock yourselves away for four years. Let's create a convent for single women. I wish that... I mean I think... I don't know. I keep wanting to say things like that won't happen, it would have an effect, but honestly,

I don't know anymore. I don't know. And also I don't think we could get enough women to collectively band together to do it, to have an impact, to be honest. I think you'd be surprised. We've seen what the algorithms can do for hate speech and awful things like that. So maybe social media can be used for some good. I don't know. I don't know. Me neither. What a shit show. Truly. Well,

yeah, it's four years. Okay. Get through this. The last four years aged me so much. At least he can't run again. I said this to a couple of days before the election, a couple of friends of mine. I don't mean this, but I did allow myself the thought of, I almost just wish he had won last time so that we wouldn't be dealing with it now. But then who knows what would have come of that during that administration. And then the subsequent people running after that.

Honestly, yeah, there's no, but I just like, we wouldn't at least be here right now if he had just won last time. Oh, oh God. But if they take away voting and it becomes a dictatorship, and I mean, it might not just be four years, they take away voting and it becomes the dictatorship. And he, I mean, it might not just be four years. I know that's kind of a bit like an extreme view,

but based on some of the things project 2025 has said and other things, it's like, well, I guess that could be something that could happen. There's like historians who are going through and pointing out all of the different little things and messaging that has occurred leading up to like dictatorship and fascism and like it's like check, check, check, check, check, check. So cool.

Well, um, you know, he is fucking old. So there is, you know, an 80% chance that he will die. And then we have JD fucking Vance. Oh, yeah, that's not, it's not as good as that. No. Or maybe Elon Musk. I don't know. Yeah.

Fuck. Yeah. Well, look, it's shit. Um, I would suggest moving to Canada or coming to the UK. I think, I think Canada is preparing for that. Probably have an easier pathway with the UK? I think Canada's preparing for that. Probably have an easier pathway with the UK, and at least I know people there. That's true. I'd come and visit more though if you were in Canada on like calendar.

I've never been, but I will see what I can do. Well there you go. You've never been, so maybe now's the time. Time to move there. Time to move to Canada. It's all about Canada. I am in a state that is probably one of the better states to live in right now.

Walls is still our governor, which is not always the case. Some states would have required him to resign, but he is now back. And Minnesota remains blue, but it's still the metropolitan areas. We did in the state lose the trifecta we had. We had the governor, we had both the House and the Senate that were blue, Democrat for the last few years, but now I think it's tied. It's equal in terms of both parties' representation in Congress. The last time this happened was in 1979 and they had to come up with this power sharing

structure agreement, which I didn't read into that too much so I don't know how it works but it sounds like because of the tie or like really like not any like not a majority there is some sort of thing they have to work out in terms of power structure which is odd to me. Hmm that sounds complicated. Yeah. Well we'll see what happens. Yeah. J happens. Yeah. Jinks.

Yep. Yep. Yep. Oh, what a space. On another note, do you want to hear some old Dutch words for vaginas? Absolutely. Dutch is such a fun sounding language. I think I'm going to enjoy this.

I mean, it's disrespectful, but yeah. So I've got the word and then what the word means for you, all right? So the first one is Vlis Vlinder. Vlis Vlinder. Vlis Vlinder. Vlis Vlynda. Vlis vlynda. Vlis vlynda. Vlis vlynda, okay. Which means meat butterfly.

Oh my God. That is in my mind visually horrifying but hilarious. Meat butterfly. In my mind, visually horrifying but hilarious. Meet Butterfly. Say the word again, Vlisvlinde. Vlisvlinde. It's nice. Oh my Vlisvlinde's. Angry today.

Okay. angry today okay okay fine well sorry it's so angry okay this next one's difficult to pronounce Slydge um Vydsva. Slydge um Vydsva. Slydge um Vydsva. Slydge um Vydsva. That's not full. The M might be silent. I don't know. That means slime pond. Oh my God. Ew!

I thought meat butterfly was bad. Oh my God. And whatever you're looking at or wherever you got these from, people use these. I think so, yeah. Like, so someone is saying their slime pond and referring to their vagina. Hey, do you wanna come in my slime pond and referring referring to their vagina. Hey, do you want to come in my slime pond?

No, I, I can, I can tolerate meat butterfly. I cannot tolerate that one. Okay. I'll take that one off. Okay. Um, cabutacano, cano, cabut, I've got into a Spanish accent now. I don't know what's happened. I was going to say it sounds a little Italian. Cabutacamo.

Cabutacano. That means gnome canoe. Okay. So then the penis or whatever is a gnome? Yeah. Is gnome canoe. That one is less disgusting, but odd how they came to that one.

I mean, I've heard, what is it like ferrets leave? I have not. Okay, so we're just animals and mythical beings are related to our lady parts now. Okay. I mean, okay. Okay, this one is broogee rose beef.

Probably work out. Something roast beef? Yes, roast beef, sandwich. Okay, so like beef curtains, sure, sure, sure, sure. I guess I'm not surprised. Same with meat butterfly. You know, sometimes though, like the English versions of things like that we've called our vagina, I'm like, this just doesn't, like no wonder we all are insecure about how they look. Exactly.

Goodness. Roast beef sandwich. Roast beef sandwich, yep. Um, Leaf des Grotte. This one's quite nice. It doesn't sound nice. Oh is it? Okay, because the- The grotte. It doesn't. It means love cave. Oh. That's nice Oh, is it? Okay. Because the grot doesn't. It means love cave. Oh, that's nice, isn't it? Yeah, that one is nice. I just saw the other day or whatever. I don't know. Like club climax was one. Club climax club. I don't know. Which makes it seem like it's always fun and consensual, but. There's like disco halls down there.

Yeah. Did it. So say, say the Dutch one again. Life des grotte. Life des grotte, okay. Like grotto, I suppose. Oh yeah, I suppose, yeah. Okay. Like grotto, I suppose. Oh yeah, I suppose. Yeah. Love grotto. Oh, little love grotto. I love that.

Yeah. I'm going to start calling it that. You do. Okay. And the last one is hemmelpuvt. is hehmelpuft. These are like a lot of big words just to describe. Yeah, they are big words. Hehmelpuft. H-E-M-E-L-P-O-O-V-T. Puft, poof, poof. Again, the V might be silent.

The T might be silent. I don't know. And what is it? Heaven's gate. Oh, that one's nice if it weren't for also the name of a cult where people kill themselves. But I get that, they're words. But heaven's gate, that's nice too. So the last two are nice ones.

Lovely. Love Cave. Meat Butterfly, Slime Pond, Gnome Canoe, Roast Beef Sandwich. I could probably do without those. However, Love Cave, that's being added to my vocabulary. Love Cave, baby, Love Cave, Love cave, baby love cave, love cave baby. You wanna come in my slime pond. Sounds horrible.

I suppose that would be another way to live the 4B movement, if that's how you were inviting people. That's gonna put anyone off. Yeah. Nice. Thank you to the Dutch for those. Yes. Thank you, wonderful Dutch people.

Do love the Dutch. I wonder if they have similarly hilarious and horrifying things for penis. Probably. I would hope. I wonder if they have similarly hilarious and horrifying things for penis. Probably. I would hope, but yeah, for next time. You up for an M.I.D. asshole? You know I am, baby. I'm feeling like particularly like everyone's an asshole though, so.

Yeah, I'm with you there. Well, we'll see. Am I the asshole for punching my ex-husband's new girlfriend for hitting my daughter? Maybe, but maybe not. I'll give you some more context. So I, 23 female, have a six year old daughter. I had her at 17 years old, you poor thing, with my ex-husband, Devin. Devin and I got married at 18 and got divorced at 20 years old due to his cheating.

He doesn't have to pay, or sorry, he doesn't pay a dime to financially support our daughter. I am our daughter's full-time caretaker. My ex-husband only sees our daughter once a month. I beg him to spend more time with her, but I shouldn't have to beg him to be a father. He recently got into a new relationship with his new girlfriend, Hayley.

Ever since Hayley entered my ex-husband's life, she bashed me. She blamed me for my daughter being autistic. She said my daughter is autistic because I coddle her. I do not coddle my child. Yeah, no, I think research shows that that's exactly how it does. That's how it works, definitely.

Yeah, for sure. I legitimately try my best with the situation I was dealt with. My daughter was diagnosed with autism at four years old. We have her in speech therapy and behavioral therapy. She has a therapist she sees twice a week and she also has developmental delays. I try to work with her every day on her speech behavior acceptor.

Yesterday, my daughter went to stay the night at her dad's house. Her dad's girlfriend, Hayley, was there. She lives there now. My daughter's father called me. He told me to come over and pick up our child because she was upset. I went to go pick her up and I saw she had red marks, welts and bruises all over her legs. I was pissed and asked what happened. My daughter told me that she spilled water on the floor and on the couch. Hayley got mad and hit her with a belt. I rushed into the house. I don't know what came over me. I punched Hayley in the face and beat the shit out

of her. I didn't realize until I saw her on the floor. Hayley wanted to press charges on me but my ex talked her out of it. I went to the police station with my daughter right after and filed a police report. I showed them the bruises, welts and marks and I pressed charges for child abuse and reported my husband to CPS for child neglect and abuse. I'm still shaken up from the situation and I took photos of my daughter's legs and arms. I will never let my daughter go to her dad's ever again. I beat myself up over this. If I knew that Hayley would hit my child, I wouldn't have let her go over there in the first place. Am I the asshole? I think I said this before, but I will start from the premise of don't hit kids and I know

there are here in America different states and jurisdictions that allow physical punishment under certain circumstances. Is that? It's kind of like can't leave a mark, can't you know know, it has like, it really has to be kind of very narrow, like Minnesota, for example. But also, I think just like the premise of physical discipline can't be from the motivation of anger. And so she spilled water on the floor on the couch, and Haley got mad and then proceeded to get a belt and beat this kid in the legs. So like my instant thought when I heard that was like, I hope someone called CPS because I feel like

that would be an investigation and a finding of maltreatment because that is, there's nothing about that to me that suggests that was appropriate use depending on where they're at. But I also think like she's an adult, Haley is. This child's six and not only six, which is really young, but also has some maybe needs that make it a little bit harder for like this kid probably needs

some special responses in order to help her learn and you know, kind of respond to and have and kind of appreciate redirection and all of that. And this isn't one of them. And I would not blame this woman for not wanting to send this kid over there anymore. I do think that she's going to have our time like saying she's never going to see her dad again. I don't know. Like that's's probably gonna be how it shakes out But I think that starting from the premise of not hitting kids and also not hitting people in general like

In a way I can kind of understand it was kind of defense but it's after the fact and it was a reaction out of anger I don't think that's good rule modeling for the child, but it's after the fact and it was a reaction out of anger. I don't think that's good role modeling for the child, but it's understandable. I suspect the ex probably convinced Haley not to press charges because he knew what Haley did probably was gonna get scrutinized too. But also where the fuck were you dude? Yeah.

Like you were just okay with that? And your response isn't to intervene and then call and tell your co-parent But just come get this kid because she's causing issues in my house like so I Like there's a part of me. I don't assholes not the right word, but I also don't think like Hitting people unless it's like imminent danger and you need to for self-defense or defense of your child But I do get it like I get it. I can see why this person did it. Haley certainly needed to experience a whooping to know maybe that you shouldn't hit kids. That's not the right way to

respond out of anger. Yeah, I have conflicted feelings kind of about the overall premise of the question about this person being an asshole. But I think what Haley did was far more fucked up and what mom did was beyond reasonable and understandable under those circumstances. And I also suspect that if she did press charges, the law enforcement and the prosecuting body might also see it the same way and might press charges, might give a plea deal,

might be like, hmm, well, you did beat this kid in a way that is abusive and neglectful. So you tell us, do you really want charges pressed here? Yeah. I mean, what are your thoughts? Well, I, you know, I don't have kids, but if I did and someone did that to my kid, I would whoop their ass too. Yeah.

Um, even if they did that to my pet. Yeah. I would see red, most likely. Yeah. You know, not condoning violence, but fuck you. Yeah. Motherfucker. I agree.

I mean, the comments are predominantly not the asshole. This person said not the asshole, always person said, not the asshole, always report child abuse. The OP said, I reported it for sure. Even my mother wanted to go there. And then someone replied, I wanna go over there. Someone else, I think we should all go over there. Someone else, we should all really go there.

Someone else, let's go. What time are we meeting? Shall I bring snacks? I do wanna point out though though that wasn't the question. Is she an asshole for reporting child abuse? No. The question was, am I the asshole for hitting my ex's girlfriend for hitting my kid?

So I'd like them to answer the question. You could answer the question. Let me find someone who answers the question. Not the asshole. it's bad enough that she hit your daughter with a belt. It's even worse that your child's father allowed it to happen and was okay with her beating your child, fuck that.

You have nothing to be guilty of. If it was okay for her to hit a child, she should have no problem with an adult hitting her. At least the odds were even between you and her. Who beats a child for spilling water? What kind of parent allows their girlfriend to beat their child? Yeah, agreed. Someone else said you did the right thing. You likely wouldn't get in trouble for defending

your daughter. Everything you did was right and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise but get child support and make sure he has no unsupervised custody. Yeah easier said than done. Unfortunately yeah. So I think the thing I'm having a hard time with is the fact that it was so after the fact to be considered defense. I think then that's just like purely legally looking at it because it's not like it was imminent

or because she saw it happen or she like intervened. So, but I do think like in a way it is defending, but yeah. Someone else said, not the asshole. Love how the girlfriend thinks it's okay to belt a child but as soon as someone closer to her age beats her, she... ...beats her ass, she runs to the police. Yeah, that's fair. That is a fair point. Someone else said, see if you can get your ex-husband to confirm what happened via text. Once they find out you've reported Hayley he may say it never happened.

Something like, you understand I don't feel comfortable letting Hayley around our daughter after she laid hands on her. Can you promise me you won't let her around her daughter? If he replies to that keep him talking as long as you can. OP said, I have evidence. He messaged me and said, Haley only hit her because she refused to clean up her water mess. Like, it's water. She wiped it off the floor. So what dad and Haley should have done if they want to raise a child, you know, in that way would be child's name,

come here and help me clean this up. Let me show you what we do when this happens because accidents happen sometimes. Sometimes we spill and maybe next time you want water, we'll either put it in something with a lid or maybe you will keep it in the kitchen. Like see, not that fucking hard folks. Yeah, we don't even have kids.

Or if you're a little frustrated, yeah, See, not that fucking hard, folks. Yeah. We don't even have kids. Come on. Or if you're a little frustrated, yeah. But still, you don't hit kids, and you don't hit kids out of anger, and you don't hit kids because they spilled something, because that's what fucking kids do. I spill shit. Adults do that. I spill shit on myself all the time.

Exactly. Spilling coffee. Adults do that. I spill shit on myself all the time. Exactly. Spilling coffee all over my god damn house. And I was like, oh shit. I got tea stones on my bed because I spilled tea all over my bed the other day, you know? It happens. It does. It sure does.

Well, there we have it. I hate Hayley. I hate Hayley as well. And the piece of shit, dad. Yeah. Hayley and Devvin can go fuck themselves. Yeah, fuck you guys. So I, yeah, I think I land on not the asshole but also just like thinking about

what we're role modeling to your kid and the risks but certainly I think it's one of those, I think it's Chicago where it's like, it's understandable, it's understandable. Yes, it's perfectly. It's perfectly understandable. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, yeah. But everyone else's. Do you know, I need to find someone where they are the arsehole, because they're often not the arsehole, aren't they? I think we had, I know we've had one in our history somewhere. Yes, I'll do a little digging. Yeah, I'll see if I can find any good ones too.

If you have any good, am I the arsehole's where the right OP is the asshole, send them our way. Or just a story, or if you want to know if you're the asshole, little dish on that. Yeah, send it to talkshittous at gmail.com or... Speaking of, I haven't looked in a while. Sorry, we haven't recorded in a while, so if you sent in, that's why, but I will get back on checking. Or you can DM us at talk... Nope, T-S-Y-B pod.

That's the one. There we go. We're on, are we on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok? You know, those kind of places. Yep. So, yeah. Yeah. Thank you for listening. Thank you for your patience.

We have someone who wrote in. Oh my god. Okay. Someone listens. Should I write? Do you want to do it right now? Yeah. It's short. Yeah, alright. It was sent on the 17th, so we probably should. Okay. So, this one is titled A Fetish Dilemma. Ooh. Hi gals. I wondered if you could help me with some suggestions for how to bring up a sexual fetish when dating. I never really had a long-term partner

and I wonder if me not opening up about my fetish causes problems as I have never told anyone that I've been seeing. I find it a bit embarrassing as the fetish is belly buttons. I love having my belly button played with but I also love softly touching and licking others belly buttons. One strange thing I have to contend with is I hate an outie and it would be a deal breaker if someone had one. Do you have any suggestions on how I may subtly determine if someone has an innie or an

outie early on in the dating process? In general, though I'm a bit lost in how to how I bring up that I like belly buttons and what I want to do with them once we get in progress. Do you have any advice? Have you ever heard of this fetish before? No, I haven't. I haven't either, but to be honest, I think that that doesn't really mean anything. No, fair. but to be honest, I think that that doesn't really mean anything. No fair.

I suspect there's probably many people who share similar feelings. I think with regards to finding out whether they've got an innie or an outie, you could do that playfully, like as in like a jokey sense when you're first talking to someone and dating, like it'd just be like just a random question Tea or coffee, wine or beer, In-Ear-Outie. Have you got an In-Ear-Outie? Yeah, just a cheeky little question, you know. They won't think anything of it. Or you could just whip up their top. I don't recommend that option. Well I think depending on how the day it's going, if you're kind of going through your get to know you questions, right? And they answer and, you know, they say, well, it's kind of a little bit of an outie, but you know, not like a real big outie, then you can be like, oh, show me yours and I'll show you mine. You know, I think that all

is the vibe you're getting on the date. But I think Gemma, that's a really good idea to just like make it a part of your fun get to know you questions that you have for people. Keep it cash. With regards to bringing it up when you're dating, I mean, I'd like to think that if you're with a decent person who you feel comfortable enough to engage in sexual activities with, then hopefully you do feel comfortable enough

to just bring up what you're into and see if they are happy to go ahead with that. and see if they are happy to go ahead with that. I think also exploring them too, to make them like, so it's a mutual thing. You wanna be able to please the person you're with. Yeah. Yeah. Equally, there's also fetish dating apps now.

Yes, I was gonna suggest that too. I can't remember the name of it. FetLife and I think there's a couple others. So you could potentially use one of them, where I think it's quite upfront from the get-go what you're into. Yeah. The whole purpose is being able to be honest about your, yeah, sorry Gemma. It's all right, you carry on.

Well, I was just saying, I think the whole purpose of some of those sites is for people to be able to be open about their fetishes and needs and hope so that people can be like, oh, you know what? That's not my thing, but here's my thing. And I think we could both maybe make each other like real, have a really good time. Cause like what you said is something I'm open to

and here's what I got. Like just kind of like normal dating apps, right? But I do think that you do have to be honest about it if it's something that is really important to you and gonna like be good, like if you're having trouble kind of sexually because you can't explore these things or that's something that really kind of is helpful for you. You do need to be open about it. not in a great way and that's okay but don't like let that don't internalize that because that just means that it's not for that person and that person isn't for you then yeah it's not necessarily because of whatever you like

or into is a bad thing or a weird thing it's not okay I just but people be people in sometimes. Yep. And people are allowed to have boundaries too, right? I hate my belly button. I'll show you what if you want, but. But if someone was like, this is what I'm into, I'd be like, okay, go for it. Give it a go.

Yeah, yep. I want to clean it. So I get it though. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard to be vulnerable and honest with people out of fear of how they're going to react. So I think you have to use some of your intuition to figure out if this is someone that you can talk about it with.

But I do think finding out if they have an in-ear and out-e can be real easy. Yeah. So step one. Step one, done. Well, I hope Step one, done. Well I hope that helped, listener. If you have more questions on that, you obviously know how to get a hold of us, so please reach out and we can elaborate further.

And sorry it took us so long to get to it. Yeah, and let us know how it goes and if you find anyone who will tickle your belly button. All right, well with that, maybe until next time? Until next time. Thanks for chatting shit with me. Thanks for crying shit with me. Crying about shit. My tears aren't shit, it's water. My tears aren't shit, it's water. I don't cry shit.

All right. See you soon. It was good talking to you. Bye. And you. Bye. You