Talking Shit with a Yank & a Brit - 8. Would a Strap On Work?

Episode Date: May 18, 2023

This week we're talking about woman in the workplace, sexting on your workphone, Brits abroad and a sardine scandal!Send us your stories, questions, dilemmas or problems at [e-mail], rate, review and share for more Talking Shit!Order your BlendJet2 at https://zen.ai/tspod12 

way fucking yeah brits abroad mate we're going on a fucking up get the beers in sun way welcome to talking shit with a yank and a brit i'm the yank and i'm the brit how you doing beautiful i'm good how are you doing? Beautiful I'm good, how are you? Yeah, I'm alright Had a week off work How was that for you? What did you even do? I've been

Like really busy Even though I can't really remember what I've done But I've not stopped And I'm really tired So I need another week off to feel better I did go, I went up to London to a comedy show

oh yeah, say more that was super good it was Joanne McNally who's a fucking brilliant comedian and honestly like it was just one joke after another but like in, not like punchline after punchline but she's just so fucking funny from the moment she came out I was just in stitches

and it was I want to see her it was so good she's in Boston tonight so yeah I looked her up after you told me about it and I don't think she's I think the closest was maybe Chicago and I don't know I think I thought I saw that one got cancelled yeah that's that's quite far away I mean it's not that far it's a drivable distance well for us it's a drivable distance I feel like you guys would be like fuck that it's like six hours I think yeah just for like a two-hour show yeah yeah but Chicago's fun so I guess I can make a big end of it but uh also i mean the coronation was on saturday yes coronation was on saturday didn't watch any of it um we had a barbecue in torrential rain as brits do uh we all stood under a gazebo for yeah the afternoon fancy uh yeah that's pretty pretty

fucking fancy i mean that is never there when i come over you guys do not pull out the gazebo for us no it's only because we knew it was going to absolutely chuck it down which it did all day and i did say you know we could just have a gathering like a house party but no it's keith's birthday he wanted a barbecue so he gets what he wants yeah and then on sunday i had another gig oh yeah that looked fun well and oh my god i didn't tell you i got a guy's number in real life. You met in person? Tell me how it happened. Set the scene.

Okay. Sounds romantic, but it's not. It was really awkward and terrible. So I'll set the scene. That's my favorite. I'm singing, you know. Playing with the audience, you know, just performing. Flirting, yeah. Flirting with the audience, you know, just performing. Flirting, yeah.

Flirting with the audience. I kept catching the eye of this guy who was in the audience, and I was like, hmm, he's hot. And so, yeah, so after we'd finished the set, I kind of – we end up – we do just end up talking to loads of random people. Yeah, they come up to you, fawn over you. Yeah, and just ask for autographs. Tell you what you could have done better.

Yeah, tell us how awful it sounded. So at one point I ended up talking to sort of the little group that this guy was in. Immediately realised that I have no chat. I don't know how to flirt in real life. And I was like, oh, just, just, I was just like just talking to him like a normal person, obviously.

But I was like, I don't know how to develop. Move this forward. Yeah, to move this forward. So that was sort of the end of that. And then a bit later on, I was sitting with Chas and some of the other locals because it's Chas's local bar or local pub and he knows everyone there and I stupidly went who's that guy over there oh he's really hot

I was like oh my god do you like him I'll get him over I was like no no no no no no no just I just wondered if you knew him like I mean bless that's he that's quite the wingman of him I know and I was like no no don't that's really embarrassing we're not in school like chill turned around because we're on like those sort of benches in the garden I mean yeah and I could see him doing something out the corner of his eye oh god and he was going he's going oh she likes you she likes you you plus her equals us so what are you doing and he's like come over come and sit down come sit down and then like some of the other guys all got like wing uh wind rather of what was happening so they all started joining in so

this guy comes to sit down and they're basically playing like schoolyard matchmaker it was really embarrassing but he seemed quite cool with it. It's a plus. So I was like, okay, well, he's clearly not put off by the idea. So I was like, well, I'll take your number. Shall I? And I took his number. What's his name? We've been texting.

So we've been messaging. I'm going to ask him for a drink. Please keep us updated. I will. please keep us updated though I do want to say that I feel like this the fact that the guys made it so awkward and it wasn't anything you did because like you it could have been something that you did and then you would have to that would be something you lie awake at night about but this is purely them and you look like the unwilling participant. That's really cute. Yeah, and it gave me, like, a good intro message as well. Yeah.

Because I was like, hi, it's me. Really sorry for the, like, childish, embarrassing matchmaking. And it's a great story for the pod. I quite liked it, yeah. Well done, Chaz and fellas. Well done. Thanks, guys. Thanks, wingmen.

Appreciate it. Yeah, what have you been up to uh well i worked all week and didn't i mean the coronation was on because i know i sent you a picture because i like turned on my tv and it was just on the channel that it was on um but i did not really watch it even though we just got done talking about it for our last episode the night before and i think that that was probably a smart move because the stuff i saw later it seems like like the stuff that people are pulling out of it katie perry couldn't find her seat megan markle dressed up in disguise as this old white man who's actually just a like german composer who was there that's like the internet stuff no one's even really like talking about the coronation itself so there's that and you know i

just had a week of work i'm tired tired of I had a lot of conversations and meetings about why people are fighting about things. And yeah. Well, I, um, I've got another Keith corrections corner. You want to hear it? What does the man want to tell us we did wrong this time? What are we being corrected on by the men now? Love you, Keith. But yes, tell me. I want to hear it.

So last episode we obviously discussed the Royals and the Commonwealth Games. I said it happens every year. It doesn't. So I apologize. How often does it happen?

I don't know. I'm not bothered to look into it. Oh, you didn't get that information? No. Well, I was looking forward to watching this year, but I guess I'll wait. Thanks, Keith. You'll have to wait now okay it might be all our listeners are gonna have to wait too sorry sorry everyone we'll try to do better this time

but probably not i did say maybe he can just be our like fact checker but after the fact yeah yeah we don't worry about it beforehand but after the fact. Yeah. Yeah. We don't worry about it beforehand, but, uh, you know, we love having correction corner at some point he can just do the segment himself. We'll have him on. We'll make a little jingle for him. Case correction corner. Case correction corner so it looks like they're every four years oh like the Olympics

yeah okay then all right so corrected sorry we've been Keith corrected yeah

so if anyone was offended all right I'm sure everyone knew that and was like shouting at their device yeah that's wrong there's probably a lot of that every time you mispronounce took one of the countries in the commonwealth oh well sorry great content well speaking of what we do wrong being told every day i feel like that happens a lot sure does um especially if you have a vagina i can't speak sorry especially if you have a vagina i mean and i know i have one

i certainly I have one I certainly do have one say more about what you mean by that not that you have one but if you have a vagina well I've certainly experienced it

quite a lot in the workplace. Yeah. I mean, we're looking at, what, 15 years now of working full-time and trying to be successful. And particularly for me, I'm not sure about your industry, but my industry is very male orientated. So it's been interesting really,

learning how to navigate that world, what I need to do to succeed. what I need to do to succeed so I think when I first started as an attorney I pretty pretty male dominated though I think it's starting to maybe shift or at least like law students maybe the majority is getting close to equal or even more female i know in my current field in in my office even where it's mostly female in fact we're like desperate in desperate need of men which is really weird to say because of the type of services we do one has to have a male female team um but still though because we work with attorneys, judges, therapists, like a whole bunch of a whole different slew of people that I still think it's, you know, I just as being as a woman in the workplace, I experience a lot, too. That feels a little bit like stereotypy or like gendered kind of inappropriately.

And it sucks. It sucks a lot. lot yep it's really fucking infuriating actually in fact i think that we're not alone in that there's research on what women experience in the workplace, particularly women of color, who the shit that they have to deal with and put up with and not react to less, they want it to come down on them worse. It just, it's, it's exhausting. And it's this kind of, I, those articles we were talking about this emotional labor that we have to have or do that. No, like no wonder I'm so tired this week, you know?

And for anyone that doesn't know what that term means, emotional labor is essentially like extra tasks that you're expected to do as a woman in the workplace. So for example, you know, doing the tea rounds, making the tea for everyone, organising, leaving presents or, you know, team building days or taking the notes during a meeting just because you're a woman when it's not actually your job role to do so. And unfortunately, because we are trying to be equal and to be accepted, we are more likely to say yes when asked. And I think it's 50% more likely to be asked than our male counterparts.

For things that really aren't, like if we were to then go into a performance evaluation and ask for a raise and point out those extra things that we do, would not be considered reasons for a raise or promotion. would not be considered reasons for a raise or promotion. And those things you mentioned, I think another one in this one particular article from The Guardian that says, you know, the need to boost the male egos around you too, you know, and not be perceived as,

you know, contradictory or difficult, or, or you know I think for women of color aggressive or angry uh have to just like this what was it the word a pro-social kind of personality characteristic we need to have where it's just very caring and empathetic to others and soft and kind of agreeable and nice and when you're not those things you get labeled difficult whereas men get labeled as assertive and confident yeah definitely um and even like i've had situations where i've been not moaning about things but airing my views on things I'm not happy about and in those situations we get called emotional or stroppy and you know oh it's you're

in a period things like that like no I'm just telling you that I'm not happy with the situation it needs to change like it's so fucking annoying well and you're in a supervisory role and have been when part of that job is actually like having to give some constructive criticism and feedback and reprimand and just having to do it almost in a way depending on who you're talking to to like cater to that person seems so counterintuitive to the whole point of being a supervisor and addressing issues there's certain people that I have to deal with in as you say in a certain manner because I know it will be taken the wrong way and so I have to because I know it will be taken the wrong way. And so I have to play it in a certain way,

which is really annoying. And again, adds to more like emotional stress because I can't just be myself and say it how it is. I have to think about how I'm going to play the game and how I'm going to get my views across in a way that they are going to be accepted and they are going to be listened to. It's very frustrating. Just like getting a seat at the table where you actually can contribute and not be like, hey, Gemma, are you going to be the one taking notes today?

Yeah. I've had that so many times me too i've been asked to even like sit in on like hr meetings for people not in my team not even in my departments just so that i can be there to take notes oh you're just the office scribe now yeah did you get paid extra for that no nothing to do with me why are you asking me that oh you're really good at it you're really good at typing I've got enough work to do as it is yeah it's an absolute joke I got asked to be on a committee kind of after the committee already started. And this was a big frustration of mine when I first started because I just like wanted to be asked. And because it made me feel like I was valued, like we should have Kate be on this because she can contribute something really important. And that didn't happen. And I remember talking to my boss to be like, how come you never asked me to be on committees when you never volunteer? Well, no, because you announced the committees and not the opportunities to volunteer. Yeah. But if, if, if I need to

volunteer, then I will. So then I started volunteering for every single thing, but for this one, I, you know, I got asked to be on this committee for this, like kind of staff development thing we're doing. And I came in and there were like three meetings in, and it was clear to me that basically I got asked so I could type up the notes and do like the, the like the tech part, like like the PowerPoints and like develop those slides and stuff. And I'm just like, this is why you guys wanted me to do it because I'm a good typer quote unquote. And also I'm young

so I get the tech like that's those are the things you guys value about me not my like experience and expertise and you know child development custody parenting time issues conflict resolution none of that actually matters that's what you guys are here for it really set it was really upsetting yeah I had a similar thing where I was asked to come to like senior management executive yearly meeting like the board meeting I was like brilliant like they're actually appreciating my work and I can contribute and they're gonna you know they appreciate my views and my what I'm giving to this company um and at some point throughout that meeting basically the the chair of the company sort of let slip that me and this other woman that was there were only there because they needed to include a certain number of women for life equality reasons

we have a quota for females in the room if you guys could go sit in the corner we put some toys over there for you set an ipad up for you to watch some tv oh my god i can't believe that slip that is oh impressive i know that was that was quite a but you can't say anything no do you know i mean like in the real world i'll be like fuck you. I'm going to leave because if I'm not appreciated here, then I'll go elsewhere. But I can't do that in a work situation. You just have to be like, oh. Glad I could help.

I mean, what do you think would have happened if you had been like, if I get this right, I'm actually only here just as like a warm body a warm vagina so to speak um that just to clarify that's like so does that mean i i'm getting paid can i i can tell you now the reaction would have been oh don't no don't you've taken that the wrong way no don't be so silly that's that's not what i meant by it at all no you're you're getting too emotional about this it's that's not what i meant by it at all. No, you're getting too emotional about this. That's not what I meant. That's fucking what they'd say, I guarantee. Because there's been other situations

where I have stood my ground and said, am I only here because I'm a woman? Or you've only said that to me because I'm a woman or something like that. And then, no, no, no, you've taken that the complete wrong way. No, you're twisting my words. You're, you know, no, I'm fucking not. God i'm fucking not i love gaslighting in the workplace gosh and i think that see a part of me wants to be like

that's like pointing it out more is the right thing to do but then it is there's never because what they could have been like i can see why what I just said came off that way. And that's how it, that's how it was received. And I'm sorry, let me try that again. You know, that would have been a really simple way to like address it without actually just convincing you that you're actually crazy and overly sensitive. Yeah, exactly. Sad. Well, as a result of that, it makes, it's made me do certain things differently. So when I was coming up in my career, I was very conscious of, um, like my postures and the way I delivered information um I've purposely tried to be less feminine

and more masculine and I've imitated masculine you know postures when can you demonstrate that for me real quick so like you're gonna do the man spread I know you guys can't see her but she scooted her chair back and just kind of like leaned back and spread her legs. So women take up less space normally. And we sit there like that. Whereas I'm now aware that I need to take up space. When I'm in a board meeting, I need to use my hands to express.

However, without being too expressive, because that could be seen as like too assertive and too dominant and they're they're scared of that so you know there's a limit to it um and things as well like what what to wear in the workplace um yeah you know, I will go for a more lesbian chic look because I think it looks more, you know, it's more accepted in the workplace. If I come in wearing a skirt and pretty stuff like that, then I feel I personally feel like I won't be taken as seriously. So I tend to wear a lot of black and trousers and power clothes I guess that is interesting because I know for a fact that like yeah very much how I sit I try to take like take up less space and how I dress like I clothing and being creative in my clothing was kind of how I like to express myself particularly when I was working as a public defender with kids. I didn't want to wear like just a basic suit when I was

going to talk to kids at school. I wanted to like dress approachably and I would wear cute dresses and colorful pants and tops with little bows. And I was coloring my hair at that one point and it unfortunately turned bright orange. I liked it, not what I was going for and did that for a while. And then my, my female boss came in and she sat down and she's like, I want to tell you something. And I want you to know that I think it's fucked up, but I think you deserve to know. And she's like, some people are commenting on your hair and how it's hard to take you seriously. And you seem like less of a lawyer. And she's like, some people are commenting on your hair and how it's hard to take you seriously. And you seem like less of a lawyer. And she's like, personally, I would just say, fuck them and do what you want. But I just want you to know this.

And I immediately went and colored my hair, like, back to a normal color after that. Because I was just like, apparently, my hair is enough to make it seem like I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah. Here. And I know, I really believe she was, she had my back and felt shitty even coming and telling me that. And in no way did she say like, you need to change your hair color. She's like, who fucking cares? But I just like some people approach me about this. And I, I want you to know. who fucking cares, but I just like some people approach me about this. And I, I want you to know. And I've had times where I think just because of my age, people have been like, are you sure you're an attorney? No. Oh, fuck. No. You know what? I actually,

I'm a maid. I don't know how I got this mixed up. I'll just see myself out. And when I first started at my current job, I was in a service that we do where I have with my male partner because it was that service. And the attorney took my business card, wrote on it, not sure she's qualified and fucking put it back down on the table and just like left it there. I showed it to the other attorney, left it on the table for all of us to see for the whole three hour meeting. And I just sat there, see, I was just focused on that the whole time. And my colleague looked at me afterwards and he's like, let it go. He's like, you're going to have to, he's like, you're young, you're, you know, attractive, you're, these people are going to look at you and you're going to have to prove yourself. And I've actually had a lot of my bosses since graduating law school say now i'm now that i'm you know as

we discussed last time about to die that has happened but i just it's like you're going to have to work extra hard to convince people that you actually should be doing what you're doing and i just feel like men don't have that same burden. No. To that degree. Not at all, no. And it feels, it just feels really unfair. It does.

And quite honestly, it's exhausting. Yeah. I'm exhausted by it. I just want to be myself. Be authentic. Me too. Yeah, it's really tiring sometimes. Yeah. You know, I'm not saying it's all men's fault. It's just a, it's, well, it's you know the patriarchal

society that we live in it's it's not one person's fault but it is a thing and they need to be more aware of it and yep well and you know there's so many things that i think we could look at and be like we've made some progress a little progress and like are talking about things and trying to address things, even if we're not being effective at it now. But the one thing that I was surprised to see was that that statistic about how like men's comfortability with female leadership has gone down. It's gone down like how is that possible that it's gone down i don't understand especially in our our two countries that's where we have some similarities the men in our countries really are not comfortable with female leadership yeah but at least you guys have had some female prime ministers. Like, we can't even get a female president.

We have, yeah. But they've been wildly unsuccessful. Yeah. And I wonder whether they were actually unsuccessful and incompetent or whether that's just the rhetoric that was spun by the media and potentially by men who felt uncomfortable with it so like the question is if Teresa May were actually Terry May and did everything exactly the same would it have played out the same would people have labeled him

as unsuccessful incompetent whatever and i think that's a valid question yeah i do too and i mean there's obviously no answer to it but i mean historically female leaders run better countries if you look at especially the way like how um the new zealand prime minister and um angela merkel in germany dealt with like the whole covid situation they had a much better way of dealing with it they acted quicker they're more empathetic typically. The data on female leaders is much more successful, arguably, than male leaders. So why is it that men are losing faith in female leaders? Do you think it's just because they've beforehand,

before they had female leaders, they were just trying to like be feminist and be like, yeah, female leaders would be great. And then now they've actually had a taste of it. They're like, oh shit, I'm feeling a bit emasculated.

Like I can't handle that it could be I wonder if some of it has to do with some of those big movements like the me too movement and some of the reckoning in that regard and now again we have this kind of like fragile masculinity thing happening where men are you know I don't know how many times in meetings mostly with parents who are just like man white men just can't get a break and I'm like did you just say that all out to me I'm putting out my reports here and I don't know like I mean something like that I perhaps there's this you know i think a lot of it is i'm thinking about um do you know sarah palin when she ran for vice president with fuck i don't know who even the

president the the candidate was who ran with her was it mccain i think i don't remember like it feels like he just picked her to be like look look, a woman, look at that woman. But she was so like demonstrably a bad choice that it made just like any attempt to like have a woman in leadership. Like like she extrapolated it to the whole, you know, like one person ruined it for everyone. And there's probably a number of factors. This article was, it's a little older. So I wonder if there's an update since it's from 2019. So it was before COVID. And I don't know what it might look like now.

These same researchers, and it looks like they were in Iceland. It was a group of female politicians who wanted to look at attitudes towards women leaders in industry, government, and other roles. But, you know, there is apparently, like, Canada and France had equal attitudes, and Japan, Germany, and Italy had grown more positive. So it might just be a US-UK thing. Yeah.

Stop saying. Yeah, a little bit. uh stop saying i mean too too bad for brexit otherwise you could go to france yeah but i think the thing that really fucks me off is that this kind of unequal response to shitty behavior that women can engage in and men. And I'm thinking about this when I was working as a supervisor and trying to do my job, which was both, you know, advocating and dealing with my staff, but also working with the population that we were tasked to work with, right? And it was a population that they were victims of crime. So like kind of a sensitive high need there, right? And there were some difficult cases like homicides, you know, the family members of the homicide victims, and there's no good outcome because nothing's going to bring their family member back. And my role or my staff's role was to kind of lead them through what was happening, you know,

as the criminal case progressed. And I was doing my job in that case. And I was relaying the information I was getting. I was trying to address their questions. I was trying to get more information. I was just trying to handle it. And the attorney came into my office, closed the door, stood over me and yelled at me for five minutes about what I'm trying to do. Am I trying to get him fired? You know, no one likes you ever since you came here. Everyone thinks you're out to get them, blah, blah, blah. And I just sat there and this was, you know, during the pandemic and kind of the early days still, he was yelling without his mask on. And I just sat there and let him finish. And I was like, okay, are you done? And he said, yes. And I stood up and I said,

let's go talk to our bosses about what just happened. And, you know, I was just like, I'm just doing my job. I'm sorry that you're taking it so personally. And I'm sorry that clearly your colleagues think that I'm out to get them when again, I'm just trying to do my job, but you know, we can go address it with the super, our bosses, you know, the, the high level people who supervise us as supervisors, if you want. And he was like, no, no I'm just going to, you know what? I'm just going to go talk to them. And, and I was just like, okay, well, I will also be following up. And I did and shared, and I learned from my staff, from my supervisor, that this kind of behavior, what he was notorious for this, just being really aggressive like that, intimidating. He's very tall man. And for those of

you who don't know me i'm not tall um and just like really critical prone to outburst tantrums that sort of thing and nothing ever happened despite people saying something or you know the people who could do something about it observing it oh that's just how he is and so like he finally finally had like a reprimand and stuff. And good. Like he apologized to me. I'm really sorry about what happened. And I, at that point, I didn't know if anybody had talked to him, but walked away. And I was like, oh, I guess he had his talking to, he seemed still pretty like, oh, so I'm

sure it was really nothing because he's a white dude. And it's just like, oh, whatever. You know, I kind of didn't think anything would happen. And then he caught me again, like an hour later, or actually messaged me. He was like, could you come down here? And I was like, okay. And he was like, I just, I just had a meeting with, you know, our bosses and they told me that lots of people complained about me and people have said that I am, you know, aggressive and problematic and racist. And I just have never had anyone ever say these things to me. And I was like,

sir, I think you probably knew that you were like this and you've just gotten away with it. And maybe it's time for you to reflect a little bit. If you never had anyone tell you you're racist, I think, you know, probably everyone engages in that, particularly white people have some of that thinking and behavior, and maybe you need to reflect a little bit. But I appreciate your apology. Good luck with everything. And, you know, I'm sure I'm not there anymore. I'm sure he's carrying on as he was. But it was just like, if I had gone and done that to someone screamed at them stood over them whatever i'm sure that that would have been particularly if it were a guy if i had done it to

him even yeah like probably would oh yeah a hundred percent so it's just you, we just have to just stay in our box and in the male space that's been created and stay nice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very clumsy. I can't stay in my lane. I just keep falling out of my lane.

I just keep falling out of my lane. Yeah. There's so much really to to unpack in this area question for you though have you ever had anyone work like colleague someone in the workplace comment to you about like your appearance what you're eating, something kind of related to like not reproductive or like sexualized, but something like commentary

about just like being a woman, having children, anything like that? I've not personally, because I've made it quite clear. I don't really want kids. So I've been quite vocal about that, but I've made it quite clear I don't really want kids. So I've been quite vocal about that. But I have witnessed male colleagues talking about it. Just, you know, again, like, flippant comments. Like, oh, well, she'll probably go and have a baby soon anyway.

Yeah. Things like that. Yeah. And again, on my part, it's like a defensive thing like i feel like if i'm not vocal about the fact that i'm not going to run off and get married and have babies then i won't get as far in my career yeah which is really fucking sad yeah I I agree I mean that I feel like they're even if they say like that's not how it is it's kind of like well well it is so-and-so had a baby so they're gonna like not be as available you know whatever and I feel like I almost get a little punished too because I don't have kids that like I'm the one who's expected to oh it's snowing out we need

some people at the office school's out so the people who have kids out so it's gonna be Kate you know yeah and fine oh well we've got to give them you know the half term off because they've got kids and yeah right okay well I'll just carry on working then I suppose so we're not staffed I had a I had a county attorney when I was in Iowa right after I got married I was I think I didn't work with him that much I worked with his assistant kind of on our cases and she and I were kind of debating back and forth on a case and he was just sitting there I don't even know why he was up there because he rarely was. Like the county attorneys, the county attorneys very rarely like actually do anything. But he was up there.

And he just interrupted me and goes, shouldn't you be pregnant? Because I'd just gotten married. And I was like, wow, what the fuck did you just say to me? I was, and at that point i never would have said that but that was my kind of initial reaction and i was just like uh anyway and i just ignored it but i should have been like sorry what yeah and i even think because his his assistant didn't have kids unmarried woman a little bit older i think even she was like what the fuck dude I wish I had done something but the thing is oftentimes it's they say something and you're just in such a state of shock

yeah that they've actually said it out loud that you can't like it's like that situation where you like I don't know what to say and then an hour or so later you'll think of the best comeback to it and I'm like why didn't I fucking say that but yeah it's like it's such a a shock and like a did they did they actually just say that i can't yeah he was a lot older too and i was pretty i was tall you know my early mid-20s and i think it was just kind of I think I've changed as far as like what I will like find acceptable and won't say something in response to, cause I don't feel like I could. And it's super fucked up because like everyone thinks lawyers are supposed to be super argumentative, but it's, you know, I also wanted to not screw over my clients if I pissed

someone off, you know, and they were like, well, then I'm not going to drop this charge or something like that. you know and they're like well then I'm not gonna drop this charge or something like that and it just I think I could have done better about that but not at that time in my life no that's it you know it's happened what's happened happened and it let's quit all the females need to quit and the world will go to shit and then maybe maybe like we'll start our reproductive rights back there was a study a 2020 report the globe world economic forums global gender gap report 2020 estimates it will take 99.5 years to achieve gender parity at the current rate of progress so you know not in our lifetime or anything

why why so long i think just with the rate of how things have gone coupled with you know i guess pay this says that men still do four point women still earn less than men and do 4.4 hours per day of unpaid work on average while men only do 1.7 hours the only thing i can see here that is a difference is because i have a vagina exactly and i know full well you've got a penis there with the penis it's getting a lot more than me that is this okay all we need are penises okay cool that's all we need will a strap-on work i think worth an experiment we can start you know we can do baby steps okay strap on first a sock maybe to begin with yeah well just do a little stuffing first yeah okay do you want to know the percent of women in companies, board of directors for the UK?

Yeah, go for it. As of 2020. 27.2. But not to worry, because the US is only 21.7. Wow. France leads with 43.4%, followed closely by Iceland at 43. France and Iceland are very progressive. Clearly.

Yeah. I'll join you. Let's move there. Okay. So I'm terrible at French. They told me to stop trying to speak French last time I was there. Just speak English. I know.

I know. Made someone very angry in a McDonald's bathroom because I wasn't speaking French and I was like, but sir, we're in a McDonald's. Say bonjour for me. Bonjour. That sounded alright. Okay, so if I only say that. Yeah. Say hello.

All the time. They'll just think I'm a special person or she's special. Just do what the British do. Just go in, speak English, but very loudly and point. Can I have a sandwich, please? Can I have the big double? Sandwich, please. Can I have the big double?

And a large chips, a large fries, please. That works. I do think that the Brits as tourists have kind of overcome being the US and being the most disliked. Yeah, 100%. which makes me feel good we are awful though to be fair why is that because you yell like that um I think it's because a lot of people go on holiday and just fucking lose their minds and just binge drink and throw up everywhere and yeah just it's mostly yeah like you know france spain yeah portugal and they call it brits abroad they're like oh hey fucking yeah brits abroad mate we're going on a fucking look get the beers

inside way yeah yeah i feel like that's the only thing i've heard anytime i've gone anywhere with any robot it was just like way it's raining right now though guys we like more to be a fucking ride. Get the beers inside. Yeah. That's what they're all like. Me especially. Yeah. You got out of hand last time you were here.

It was embarrassing. Sorry. Sorry about that. Trying to buy all those guns from Walmart and all the extra larges at all of the fast food restaurants. Oh, gosh. of the fast food restaurants. Oh gosh. You've got a story for me, or a letter or something, right? Yeah, so we've received a lovely little story

that I'm gonna share with you. So it's from Anonymous. They wrote in last time. We have one fan. It's such a unique name, isn't it? Yeah, I know. Hi, Anonymous. We love you.

Okay, so here we go hi guys i have a dating story to share from my friend which i thought you'd love and i'll so i'll get right to it so my friend started seeing this guy who worked for a big global company okay uh apple uh microsoft uh liverpool sorry that's not what we're doing my bad things were going well and they were texting a lot which included a cheeky bit of sexting and sending photos to each other did they submit some of those photos? I do not have access to the photos, no.

And you'll soon find out why. However, it turned out the guy my friend was seeing was actually using his work phone to talk to her. No, sir. Yes, sir. One

day, he sent an email from his work email account to his personal email account and due to this got called into a meeting with like the big execs because you're not allowed to do this so he sat

down in the boardroom and his bosses proceeded to inform him that due to the email breach they'd looked into what he was using his work mobile phone for and could see that he was using his phone to talk to personal connections. They then went on to read every single text conversation between him and my friend out loud to demonstrate their point why was that necessary i know i mean i kind of like it but yeah i mean it's you know that is a that is quite the move though i feel like if i were in his shoes his shoes right we're talking about him yeah i'd be like i get it i already know what they said yep i know you don't need me up no more i know i sent them it's fine i'm very aware of what was said you do not need to

read these out verbatim okay so after the humiliation he got fired um imagine if they didn't fire him and he had to show up to work every day and look at these people just i actually i'll fire myself um and my friend and this guy didn't work out no surprises there so moral of the story is don't use your work phone to sext anyone or you'll end up unemployed and alone thanks i feel like that's one of those things that you shouldn't have to say no but we're gonna say it anyways don't use your work stuff to sext yes at minimum maybe don't use your work stuff for personal but definitely not to sext that's some advice from us to you guys don't use your work phone to sext nor your email account okay oh my goodness i just I just, I am imagining like the most graphic stuff that having your boss and maybe HR and

their boss and like just a janitor in there who's just like sweeping. And he's like, what did you just say? Did you say that? and I hope he learned his lesson and was able to recover marginally well because that is just like such a rookie dumb move such a rookie dumb move yeah can you imagine? God. Okay, so on the 20th of April, you sent to so-and-so, send me a picture of your boobies. Oh, I want to root you. I want to fucking root you.

I can't give you examples because I'm not good at sexy talk. or I mean like hey what are you up to oh nothing I'm just at my desk thinking about you I want to jerk off but my boss who is super ugly is turning me off and he's standing ready you know shit like that it just uh yeah that's a good one i'm glad that it was not anonymous i'm glad it wasn't you who got fired and i'm glad it wasn't your friend yeah no females we're smart enough to know better yeah well okay so that was kind of a funny work-related situation where perhaps some behavior that needed to be held accountable got held accountable that's great great to hear it works out some of the time okay yeah yep because i feel like i've heard so many stories

where that has not been the case and like kind of like yeah yeah I was someone printed off like porn at work and that person it was before I even started and it's not my current job it was before I even started and that person basically didn't get fired they just got moved to a different department what yeah and it's just like oh okay so that seems like a pretty big deal when you're working with kids and printing off porn. But all right. Whatever. There was that politician in England, I don't know whether you heard about it, who was watching porn whilst in the Houses of Parliament. Just on his phone. On his phone, yeah.

And everyone, he's sitting in the front row, everyone behind him also is watching the porn. What a lad. What a fucking lad. row over and behind him also was watching the porn what a lad yeah what a fucking lad he got he got like you know bollocked for it because i think there were women sitting behind him that were like what the fuck you doing mate yeah and he said he was trying to look up tractors and clicked on the wrong link oh so many better excuse i someone sent me a text and i opened it and that's what it was. I think I have a virus. Man, that would have been better than... I was trying to look up tractors.

Sorry, you live in London. Why do you need tractors? Yeah, sorry. You're in the middle of London, sir. Oh, God. Absolutely. Okay. And you said he got bullocked, so he got, like, fired?

I think he got suspended. Okay. I can't remember. I don't know. Probably with pay yeah i mean a lot of them do like sexual harassment and just sort of get a slap on the wrist and yeah you know go quiet for a couple weeks and then go back to work well i have because we've done this a few times and i quite enjoy it so if you don't mind i have

a work related am i the asshole asshole? Am I the asshole? You know you are, baby. That's great. Thank you. I like that. Cut that and that's going to be your new thing. Okay. So this is pretty new too.

So there's comments, but not a ton. Okay. Am I the asshole for eating sardines for lunch every day at work? Yes. Nice pose. Done. We're done. Do go on. No, there's a little more.

I'm 31 years old and morbidly obese, six feet and 315 pounds at my highest. And I have several health problems as well. Hypertension on free medications, all max dose. GERD on medication. Sleep apnea. You CPAP every night. Okay, I don't know why I needed to include this. Erectile dysfunction, which arguably sucks more than anything else.

Sorry, I shouldn't laugh. I did not read that part before i started reading this and so that was a fun little surprise it always is i mean just a bit of like all this function to get me through the day and it sucks more than my gird and my sleep apnea and my hypertension and how fat i am well it's not getting sucked is it that's the problem last time i had routine blood work was over a year ago, and my cholesterol was above normal, quotes, but not high enough to need medication. My blood sugar was okay, thank God, but I'm due for more blood work soon, so hopefully that's still the case. Anyway, I've been trying to eat healthier, and after a lot of trial and error, I've settled on the following lunch.

Are you ready? I'm ready. One can of sardines. Two soft-boiled eggs, marinated in soy sauce, mirin, and sake, also known as adzuki tamago. I like eggs. 3.75 ounce pieces of Cabot Seriously Sharp Cheddar Cheese, 20 grape tomatoes, 3 mini cucumbers sliced and seasoned with tagine, and 20 black grapes. Very precise.

Yeah. This lunch has struck the perfect balance of relatively cheap, the cheese is more expensive than I'd like, but everything else is reasonable, to relatively easy and fast to prepare. The eggs can be a pain to pill and have to be marinated for 24 hours, but everything else can be prepared pretty quickly in the morning. Three, tasty. I legitimately enjoy eating all six of these foods and haven't gotten tired of them yet. And four, healthy. It's a very nutritious, balanced mix of food. I've been doing this for a few weeks and have lost about 100 pounds well damn good for you yeah 10 pounds the problem is that sorry what 10 pounds isn't it no oh yeah it is 10 pounds what are you doing reading this just reading it was 100 pounds it

made it more exciting 10 pounds you're right lost 10 pounds i You're right. Lost 10 pounds. I went to public school. The problem is that some of my co-workers dislike the smell of sardines in the break room. Oh, no shit. Yeah. Today, one of them finally confronted me about it and said, I need to stop eating those around other people. I said that sardines are normal food and that I have just as much of a right to eat my lunch in the break room as everyone else. She said that if I break them again, then she's going to file a formal complaint with my boss. Obsessive. Honestly, I'm not willing to give up my sardines, nor do I feel like I should have to. They're a bonafide wonder food. Okay, this is clearly a spokesperson for big sardines.

In addition to being a strong source of healthy protein and omega-3s, they're also a wonderful source of vitamins and minerals, including things that can be lacking in other foods like calcium and vitamin D. And since they're at the bottom of the food chain, you can eat them every day without having to worry about mercury poisoning like with tuna. And they taste great to boot. So my question is, am I the asshole if I ignore her demands and continue to eat sardines in the break room? P.S. Some people might ask why I don't just go to my car to eat. I would actually prefer that option even if this whole fiasco hadn't occurred because I'm very introverted. But unfortunately, our building and parking lot are both massive. So I'd end up half

of my break walking back and forth and wouldn't have time to eat, especially since I like to savor my food. And on top of that, the summer is coming up and I'm not keen on going outside because I sweat profusely. I was getting cold, so at my weight. Gemma, thoughts? Well, yeah, you're the arsehole. I cannot stand it when people eat fucking fish in a communal area. I hate it. But that's my opinion because I hate the smell of stinky fish. Throw it in the microwave, heat that up in the microwave. What are you doing?

Who do you think you are? It's absolutely vulgar. However, having said that, you know, I get that he's trying to be healthy. And it's obviously working because he lost 10 pounds or 100 pounds or whatever. I would argue that the cheese is not healthy. But I guess, you know. Yeah, for someone who's got hypertension, you know, a can of sardines, two soft-boiled eggs, cheese, that is a lot of salt,

which isn't going to help with that problem, mate. Um, I feel for his colleagues. I'll be honest every now and then. Absolutely fine. Can't really moan about it, but every fucking day I would be,

I'd be kicking off. I would. It's not. Yeah. So you're the asshole and that's your conclusion. In my opinion yeah i think like a formal complaint feels a little excessive like what's your yeah do you like i'm sorry 100 and in every office i've worked in we've there's been like a you know not an unwritten yeah an understanding that you don't bring in smelly food for lunch.

I'm not sure how much you can enforce that like legally. It's just office etiquette, isn't it? Yeah, I'm wondering too, does this person, because we had a break room when we were still in the office. Yeah, I'm wondering, too, does this person because we had a break room when we were still in the office and, you know, people sat in there if they wanted to eat lunch, people come in and microwave stuff and leave and whatever. And our bigger issue was like, who is hiding their dirty dishes in the cabinets because they don't want to do the dishes like that was. Because we rotated cleaning like the fridge and stuff when, you know, if you used it. because we rotated cleaning like the fridge and stuff when you know if you used it um and then it'd be like oh there's just like seven Tupperware that are fully dirty and solidified under the cup in the cupboard under the sink because someone didn't want to do the dishes anyway um I guess I want to would want to know because I ate my office if I got lunch and I didn't like I didn't

eat it wherever I got it from or if I brought it I usually ate in my office and that's because I just I'm a I work through my lunch you know yeah um and it was a small break room and there was kind of a core group of people went in there and talked and like read puzzles and stuff and so I would want to know does this person have another option of where they could eat and maybe not their car because like eating in your car seems kind of messy and if it's going to be nice out, maybe there's a bench outside. I don't know. I'm conflicted. I think everyone sucks here is an option.

But I do want to read you some of the comments if that's okay. Yeah, go for it. My personal favorite is, you're the asshole. Sardines, eggs, and sharp cheese. Just fart in her face and call it a day oh boy man his bowels another one is i worked with a guy that eats sardines and eggs every day we don't have a break room so he ate in workspace. It was tucked in the back corner of a room, but the room was close to a high traffic area. People were complaining about the smell so much that management was concerned that an animal had crawled up in the wall and died and started tearing down drywall. I don't know if they

figured out it was a shit ass lunch, but they moved them to a different building away from management. I really like sardines, but I've never, I would never eat them around other people. So I got to go with a soft you're the asshole. I agree. I'm curious what our listeners might think about this. So please write in and let us know if you think sardine, cheese, egg, man. I think man could be a woman i guess guessing a man uh erectile dysfunction so yeah probably a man uh is an asshole or not yeah let us know your thoughts is this guy potentially a girl but probably a guy an asshole for eating sardines at work let us know if you've got any other funny work stories or for you know the people

identifying as women out there any shitty workplace behavior or excessive requirement to carry emotional labor and do those gendered tasks and i know you got loads so i don't know why i always do that accent when i talk to you on this podcast you do a wide variety of i know but i always revert back to that one and i i feel like it might be slightly um well it's not racist but countryist culturist I don't know write in about that too folks let me know talkshit2us.gmail.com

y'all cool well anything else you want to talk shit about or are we done are you done with me i'm never done with you but we've got lives families to feed yeah things to do and i think we covered it for the week brilliant well thank you once again to our listeners um we really appreciate you listening we love it keep sending in your stories and your questions um as you said before talk shit to us at gmail.com give us a like a subscribe give us a rating preferably five stars if you can even yeah

share with your friends sharing your family download know, I'm not asking for much, guys. Literally the simplest things that don't cost any money. No, they don't. And it really helps us spread the word. And it makes us feel good. It does a little bit, yes. Lovely bit of validation. A little endorphin rush.

Oh, yummy. Good chatting shit with you, G. And bye okay bye g bag remember when i was telling you the other day about how it's hard for me to leave my home because i don't want to leave my blender yeah your emotional support blender you called it which i thought was weird and maybe a little problematic i said it feels like my emotional support blender because of how many smoothies I make and how good I feel these days because of them. Okay, go on.

Well, I found something the other day that may solve my problem. Oh, tell me more. I discovered this thing called Blendjet 2. It's a portable blender that you can use basically anywhere or anytime. Seems messy. I know, but it doesn't look like it is. Blendjet 2 is portable, so you can blend up a smoothie at work, a protein shake at the gym, or even a margarita on the beach. More like a margarita at work, know what I'm saying? Or that. But it's also small enough to fit in a cup holder, but powerful enough to blast in a cup holder,

but powerful enough to blast through tough ingredients like ice and frozen fruit with ease. Blendjet 2 is whisper quiet, so you can make your morning smoothie without waking up the whole house and it lasts 15 plus blends and recharges quickly via USB-C. Best of all, Blendjet 2 cleans itself. Just blend water with a drop of soap and you're good to go. So not messy at all, I don't think. Okay, I'm intrigued. And now I want a margarita.

Me too. It looks like there's tons of different styles and colors, so you can have a margarita Blendjet for work, a protein Blendjet for the car, and a... Soup Blendjet for the forest? Sure. I want the camo one because I am a certified badass. Just don't lose it in the woods.

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