Talking Simpsons - Bonus Episode - TalKing of the Hill "And They Call It Bobby Love"

Episode Date: August 2, 2023

The Talking Simpsons Network is taking a week off, so to fill the content gap, we've decided to post an episode of our Patreon-exclusive TalKing of the Hill podcast miniseries! If you like this episode and want to hear the rest (with more to come every month), head over to Patreon.com/TalkingSimpsons and sign up at the $5 level. Once you do, you'll have immediate access to all of our limited miniseries, covering animated shows like Futurama, Mission Hill, The Critic, and Batman: The Animated Series. So visit Patreon.com/TalkingSimpsons and sign up today!

What you listening to, son? Howdy, y'all, and welcome to Talking to the Hill, where our kisses are like fruit pies. I'm your host, the sugar cube in your couch cushions, Bob Mackie, and this is the Talking Simpsons Network's chronological exploration of king of the hill who is here with me today as always it's henry gilbert also known as hank taxpayer and this month's episode is and they call it bobby love you have to respect my needs too this episode originally aired on september 22nd 1998 and as always henry will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real world history. This is Hank Hill with the news.

Bobby! Will and Grace debuts on NBC. Aerosmith's I Don't Want to Miss a Thing tops the Billboard charts. And Rush Hour debuts at the top of the box office. These are all things I'm mostly disconnected from except i wasn't in theaters armageddon viewer okay that's uh yeah it was that shows you too that was a summer movie and here in september still top of the charts that that is an enduring hit for aerosmith there yeah it's inescapable even even now you hear you hear it everywhere i think it could be the most

long-lasting aerrythmus song because it's just so schmaltzy. There's nothing like racy in it or anything. It's not like most of their songs, which are borderline comedy songs about like oral sex or something. Or sex in an elevator. Yeah, yeah. Well, no, that's

the oral sex one I was thinking about, which I'm loving it up while you're going down. I get it now. Though, of course, Pink, it was love at first sight i mean i suppose oral sex is in there too but i i would think it's a general love of a vagina what if pink just happens to be your favorite color with no sexual connotations attached uh but i don't want to miss a thing none of that and it's because they didn't write it it's it's written by the um the woman who fronted four non-blondes uh who wrote that song to that oh and i say hey what's going on i had no idea i wish she was singing this and you you also think it's about it must be written by them because it's sort of like him singing it to his daughter in the movie because the song is over uh bruce willis saying goodbye to his daughter who's played

by live tyler the daughter of steven tyler but uh i gotta say one more thing uh nauseating love scene in that movie uh the addition of food and sex makes me want to vomit and like ben affleck playing the animal cracker circus party on live tyler's belly it grosses me out not the sexiest scene get food away from there come on what's going on here uh i i also remember that film there's a a joke of comparing uh drilling to a doctor checking your prostate uh as well and of course though i don't want to say too many nice things about stephen tyler as well because there's already new there's new lawsuit against him out there based on something that was already public knowledge in a

book but thanks to new laws that are getting rid of statutes of limitations on sexual crimes I think Steven Tyler's got some new accusations or old accusations now going into the courts I think so

yeah well he just got out of rehab maybe he'll be back in there uh and you can't arrest me i'm in treatment i need help uh will and grace i want to go over this because i only know about will and grace through uh gayest episode ever i don't think they like the show i know it's important but listening to the clips of the show upsets me because it's as if they flooded the studio audience with joker gas they are exploding at everything yes yeah it's crazy i forget i forgot sitcoms used to be like this you know i haven't listened to every well you know it's the must-see tv era they knew they're like oh we gotta goose these people as as hard as possible the the the audience but yeah our pals on gayest episode ever i i think i've not listened to every

single will and grace one they've done i definitely like their one about the episode of a newly coming out guy and them trying to teach gay culture to the to the new guy and our friends uh drew and glenn pointing out the like oh this is a very very narrow view on what being gay is like written by rich gays who are like well you have to be skinny you have to be young you have to definitely be white oh absolutely yeah it's but it was very advanced for its time even though yes one of the rules with will and grace was will never had a boyfriend until like late in the series uh it was a very long time before a man could kiss a man on the show and also i mean you had sean hayes on the show who felt he had to be in the closet during it even though he is playing a very uh broad gay

character someone say cartoonishly gay yeah though yeah i mean when uh glenn and drew did that episode on gayest episode ever about the stereotypes i was like oh yeah this reminded me that i am not this type of gay man that that will and grace says is the right type of gay man to be and even more so it makes me go like man fuck this show especially for teaching uh bad lessons to people. But I guess it's important or blah, blah, blah. We have more gay shows now. Meanwhile, Rush Hour, I was there in the theaters for that one because I was Jackie Chan-pilled by the Rumble in the Bronx coming out, which should really be called Rumble in Vancouver.

It's true. I saw the post-Rumble locations. That's so cool. next time i'm in vancouver i'm gonna have to go on a sightseeing tour of it i will admit that i'm only just watching jackie chan movies for the first time in my late 30s early 40s and i've seen two but i like both of them and they were police story and rumble in the bronx and i will see more so i missed i missed jackie chan entirely you're starting on a real high there bob yeah i think uh the best those are

two of the best if I could direct you towards three more it would be both Drunken Masters and Supercop and everything else after that is gravy including Rush Hour which is like uh it is his arrival in America gave Jackie Chan more success in the U.S. than he ever had before probably the richest he's ever been but also it's like he's starting to get old. He can't do his own stunts as much anymore. And also, insurance companies in America are like, wait, you can't do the incredibly illegal things you did when filming in Hong Kong. Yeah, by the time we got Jackie Chan, he was in his 40s. Yeah, it was too late. Well well not too late he was actually very successful but uh the experience of seeing it in my jacksonville florida suburban theater was really neat because

i was the white nerd of hong kong action films which i got into them in the same way i got into anime you know so i was white nerd with my mom and brother. And then the audience then was also a lot of black people and a lot of Asian people. And I was like, wow, I think I am in the minority in this audience. But everybody loved it. It was a real uniting thing, Rush Hour. Now there are three of them. Yeah. You know, there's always rumors of a fourth.

They can only pay Chris Tucker so much. He doesn't want to do anything. I don't blame yeah yeah though you know what if he's given too much downtime he goes on trips with some unsavory characters yeah some he's on some logs yeah he's on uh i mean he was the it's the craziest thing okay so this was like the most famous epstein flight trips ever it's him jeffrey epstein, Bill Clinton, Kevin Spacey, and Chris Tucker. Whenever I hear Chris Tucker's name, I think of that jet. And like what the conversations that were happening, what was being served. Was Bill Clinton talking to Kevin Spacey?

What's going on? But of course, there's some culture clash stuff in the movie that uh probably you know feels less sensitive now of uh i well like jackie chan's character in the movie thinks he has an n-word pass and comedy ensues yes i heard that you never touch a black man's radio yes there's also that and it's fun to hear jackie saying war what is it good for and i mean it's still it's uh you know again watch those other three i said bob and then maybe watch that unless unless like me you want to see jackie chan naked then see jackie chan's first strike because he does he sees butt in that one i think i'll eventually see him naked actually you'll see

his butt he gets naked in more than a few films he's not as nude as jean-claude van damme gets but close to it no uh nude splits for jackie ch I don't think. That's not going to happen. No, I don't think so. This episode, though, and they call it Bobby Love, it's a historic King of the Hill episode because it is the sole episode to win the Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program, and the Simpsons robbed it for a number of years.

Man, never again did it do that. That is nuts. I guess it was probably always Simpsons taking it, or maybe Family Guy once. Simpsons, South Park. Oh, South Park. Yeah. I guess it was probably always Simpsons taking it or maybe Family Guy once. Simpsons, South Park. Oh, South Park. I feel like King of the Hill, once they got their Emmy, they were basically ignored. You couldn't ignore the success at this point.

But after that, the Academy was probably like, well, it's that show about rednecks. Who cares? No, South Park. That's incisive commentary on the politics. But yeah, this is a really good episode. There are better ones, but this is a fine episode to win the Emmy, I think. Oh, yeah, yeah. I did see it beat Viva Ned Flanders in a big piece of garbage, which I think that is deserving.

This is better than those two episodes. Yeah, I don't know why Futurama nominated a big piece of garbage, because you're not going to win over the elderly academy with your stories of a rotting garbage ball and the smell of scope and yeah the other episodes it beat were viva ned flanders i don't know why they nominated that one the raunchy road trip with ned flanders and homer uh yeah maybe they thought the academy was a lot of moody blues fans perhaps could be uh the pjs was nominated also i have the other nominees here the pjs episode he's got to have it and the description is uh thurgood's libido increases when he takes a prescription

drug to stabilize his blood pressure so they nominated a viagra joke what a weird one and i yeah i i only remember one episode of pjs ever, which is where they get a very good door for their place, and everybody prizes it. But that's the only one I remember. And other things that were nominated. The other thing that was nominated was the Powerpuff Girls. It was a split episode pair, Bubble Vicious and the Bear Facts. Bubble Vicious is where Bubbles tries to be hardcore. Oh, yeah.

That was a good one, I remember. That's a good one. And the Bear Facts, here's the description. Quote, after Mojo Jojo kidnaps and blindfolds him, and after the girls save him, the mayor has to rely on the girls' very different individual accounts of the crime to figure out exactly what happened,

which is basically the Rashomon. Okay, that makes sense. Well, you know, this is a strong showing there, but I mean, I'm glad glad this uh king of the hill he's got to win it once at least for this yes uh but again it was robbed every other year was nominated really too bad yeah they've and they that's like a decade of robbery like not one win another i guess like you talked about last episode that tuesday move really did kill its cultural impact yeah it's shocking it went on for another decade and another entire decade uh so before we start one brief programming note so

next month we are going to skip peggy's headache because we already covered it five years ago for what a cartoon because we are covering these one month at a time i don't want to spin our wheels with something we've already done so uh in this case we'll just provide a link for you to check out that old episode in our archives and i i stand by that episode i think it's very good so then we're going straight to pregnant pause right month then yeah okay so in case you're wondering and i'm sure we'll get questions about it from now until the end of time uh it's going to be on the what a cartoon feed but there will be a link to it in the pregnant pause episode description for you to check out and it's on the patreon too you're gonna have to you gotta search through the patreon archives because like bob said five years ago we we've been doing this

a while now just even on patreon let alone we really have uh you know one thing i did i learned because this is the first step uh production episode of season three that this is like the first episode of a new showrunner like that apparently rich appell took over with really so for for three seasons i didn't know this until i had to double check this in the new york and then sorry the chicago tribune archives because this was mentioned on a uh in the trivia section for this episode on the official wiki page for the show but yeah rich appell took over uh show running king of the hill and in 1998 greg daniels said this it was essential that rich was a good writer who could deal with people who could help manage the business in the room but equally important was the fact that he was someone I could trust

who had a similar sense of taste and values. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, I forgot he was a big part of this show. And it does make sense that after making this hit show for two seasons, Mike Judge is shopping around other things. That's how he makes office space. And Greg Daniels is doing other things as well. I'm not quite sure what he was trying to sell,

but I guess it didn't take until The Office. Yeah, I mean, I would bet both just had overall production deals that mean you can't do day-to-day stuff and i i mean that makes the propane boom even bigger because it really is kind of the finale of an era of king of the hill now that we we look back on it because this is a different guy taking over and yeah richard pell who he was a regular writer for the simpsons up until this point he left simpsons for this and again equally shocking was when i looked into it like so he does this for i believe three years three seasons leaves to show run the bernie mack show after that uh and then he'd go on to we talked about him in american dad uh and he

has apparently been the showrunner of the family guy for the last four no sorry uh six years okay i'm seeing 10 10 years holy crap uh 2013 to presence that's crazy but he's had several different roles so maybe he's only been showrunner for the past like five or six years or whatever you said earlier yeah uh the thing i saw said 2017 was his first season as showrunner, but it's just crazy. He's been at the McFarlane factory for a very long time, showrunning, current day family guy. This was this eye-opening realization. We've talked about Richard Pell before, but I didn't realize just how powerful he was in the animation world.

And how varied his writing can be because he wrote Mother Simpson and bart on the road and a bunch of other great episodes he worked on king of the hill and then he does like the joke factory family guy style comedy as well uh he named mona simpson after his then wife yes uh they they weren't so happy together yeah hey you know what he wrote a cartoon where mona leaves his uh his her husband he should have seen this coming he was sitting in the chair watching uh what johnny unitas yes he was commenting on how cool johnny unitas was and then she was gone yeah uh this episode though i want to get into it uh because unfortunately this reminds me of a lot of sad personal anecdotes where i was not emotionally mature i had a lot of learning to do and you learn a lot through pain and sadness and we all experience this. And I wish I had seen this episode before I was broken up with for the first time.

I would not have acted like Bobby did. Oh man. Yeah. And we'll talk about it. I'll talk about when we get there. But this is a very observational episode, both about being the funny kid who thinks a girl likes you, but she actually just thinks you're funny to be around and maybe is kind of messing with you a bit.

And it's also a very accurate portrayal of what what your first breakup maybe and maybe your second breakup is like and yeah multiple breakups if you're not if you don't deal with it correctly yeah no i uh yeah i figured you might feel a little more of this than me though i i mean i had first crushes too on people older than me though not a girl like Marie but I mean yeah I definitely did go through moments the most familiar thing that starts out the episode to me is realizing that you might have made new friends in like middle school but it's actually people who ask you to do a voice that is them laughing at you yes somebody has to tell somebody did to tell me later no they're laughing at you they think it's they think it's funny you do a bad australian

accent they don't think you do a good australian accent unrelated to even being in love or having a crush sometimes you're the kid who does bits but the bits you think are funny it's people saying you're stupid for doing those do them again they're all laughing at you behind your back and uh yet uh there were some moments in this episode that stung with realization uh not not in the first kiss kind of way but just the like oh i guess i did have friends who weren't actually my friends who were just making fun of me but man i i wish i do feel like the only people are going to make an oral history of this damn series is us like because there's no information there's this what a bare bones dvd set it pisses me off two-sided dvds you know they didn't care so cheap like that shows they didn't

even want to pay for dual layer encoding like that's how cheap fox got with these like look i mean you know if i if judge and daniels don't have the will to make it happen then it doesn't happen but yeah no i i i think you had mentioned before to me bob that yeah this episode reminds you of a few things yeah we're gonna dredge them up like the corpses they are uh this episode opens though we're at tom landry middle school everyone's finally into their respective classes bobby is late he's panting he's grunting and he's stopped by a very tall hall monitor girl who asked for his hall pass and i like this observation in that bobby we don't know it yet but he's two years younger than marie but she's already like gigantic because it's the thing

where girls have the growth spurt first yeah you know it's i love this character design in general that the that really captures something about middle school that what makes middle school such like a minefield for your emotions is that you don't know who's going to mature before other people do so you might look a certain way and then somebody who's even in the same homeroom as you looks like an adult almost maybe and yeah those that you i remember at the time thinking like man that's so cool they look so much older than me but especially for girls who may be mature first they i bet it has some downsides and how people treat them if only a woman were here yeah too bad well this is a very male viewpoint on this episode, too.

It really is. I guess my school experience was different in that I went to a private school, like the little Lord Fauntleroy I am. Not really. Just like all the other schools were bad. So I had to go to private school. And I was with the same people in the same private school from fourth grade to eighth grade. And a lot of those people were in the same school from kindergarten to eighth grade. So my experience is like, oh, we're all friends we're all gonna hang out together high school changes

everything like i was so many people's uh enemy at that point it's like oh we found cooler people went to a different school oh that's sad yeah and you know i my cycle was i moved to florida late in elementary school then i go to so so I have like fifth and sixth grade friends. Sorry, fourth, fifth, sixth grade friends. Then I go to middle school, but my districting on my street is weird. We're like, I go to a different middle school than most of the people I knew in elementary school. Then after three years of that, I go back to the high school where all my elementary school friends were. But we are completely

different people like everything has been reset they're all like parallel universe versions of people you used to know exactly yeah it's uh but yeah of course uh we were both uh i think even less popular than bobby in this episode i think but i i love that bobby this like little meet cute yeah it's him he's a little funny but he's not like they know not to make him too funny because he can't be written like an actual like funny character he shouldn't be chandler he should actually like mess up his clever joke while telling it to the cute girl and he's not fully aware that like i'm a little hilarious guy like he's just his natural reaction to a situation like this is to joke his way out of it just because of who he is yeah and it i think uh many of the writers on the show probably had first moments of this of like oh my first positive interaction

with the cute girl was i made her laugh oh exactly very very very uh telling that comedy writers wrote this episode uh let's hear both plots spring into action. My name is Ramon Tavares. I'm in Mr. Powell's class. Ramon Tavares? Why does your lunch bag say Bobby Hill? Because we can't spell Ramon. What did I say?

All right. Get going, Ramon. Bobby Hill? Yeah. Oh going, Ramone. Bobby Hill? Yeah? Oh, you're good. Yep. Yep. Yep.

Mm-hmm. They dumped it right where we stand. That's where we stand. Why would somebody leave a couch behind my house? I know how it got here. One of them firefighting planes scooped it up out of Lake Arlen. Man, you don't talk about that dang old urban legend with you, man. It looks like that fellow with the toothbrush up that man's bottom, man. That's the truth, too, man. Happened to me.

Oh, hey, look, treasure. Here, robber man. Sugar cube. Mmm. Have a little pride bill if we eat their garbage we're not much better than they are probably had a coffee table oh if this old couch could talk oh okay two things hit me hearing bill's thing one knowing what happens later a cat peed on that sugar cube yes yes or near it yeah and and second when he says probably at a coffee table i was like oh yeah at the end of the episode his coffee table you see in the post credits is like a a cable

spool turned upside uh over so it's he doesn't have a coffee table too that's why the first time we're really seeing a lot of the inside of bill's place yes yeah which we're gonna see a lot more in pretty pretty dresses yeah okay so this this toothbrush in the bottom thing so dale mentions the urban legend of uh basically like uh to put out a fire an airplane scoops up a scuba diver with the water it collects and that's an urban legend but you pointed me to this other urban legend in which a couple is robbed they're robbed of everything except their camera and like their toothbrushes or whatever their toiletries so they continued living their lives they developed the film they see on the film the robber has put their

toothbrushes up his butt yes and that's uh disputed let's say disputed the the urban legend page for it on snopes which thank god when i searched urban legend toothbrush butt that that was my first uh result i did not get any though i didn't check uh images oh thank god yeah but but even the snopes page admits that like yeah it's actually kind of a racist one because the most of the stories are white couples go on a trip to a place like Jamaica or the Bahamas and the key part of the toothbrush thing is that it's black guys in the photos too who of course it is black men who robbed them in this bullshit urban legend as well but uh you know the race thing doesn't come into that in Boomh but i i was glad the snopes page even was directed like yeah it's it's a racist urban legend too uh but yeah you know that scooped up urban legend thing i didn't know i never heard

that one from anybody growing up but then like two years after this move this episode airs are three uh the magnolia film comes out which starts with that is that guy like paul tomkins or patten oswald okay i thought so a lot of like largo people are in that movie yeah uh paul f tompkins got cut out of that movie uh he has listened to his album laboring under delusion he tells the whole story about it which i'll just steal one joke from it that he says magnolia is a script as big as the phone book that stars every person in the phone book i haven't seen it since i was like 18 i saw it in theaters i remember like it i'd never heard an amy man song before and that like blew my mind me too soundtrack over and over

was paul tomkins cut from there will be blood as well he is a blurry man he technically is in it he's uh if he's the first voice you hear man i think he's one of the first voices you hear in the movie because okay it's a silent opening the whole you know uh thing of daniel day lewis like breaking his leg and finding oil and all that and then there's a time cut to him in a meeting and paul f tompkins is like running the meeting right yeah and i remember him uh talking about an improv line he improvised like he just had to be arguing with people and he says uh gentlemen we lose nothing by losing our heads and he was embarrassed that he came up with that because it was pretty lame i believe he says that daniel day lewis is the most intense person he's

ever met in his life. I wouldn't want to be in a scene with him. Let's talk about the guest star, though. Yes. What is her name? Sarah Michelle Gellar. No, sorry. It's Galar.

Oh, Galar. Galar. As said by that guy, Adventure Brothers, season one, the garage sale episode. Yard sale episode. Everyone says Gellar. Everyone says Brendan Fraser. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

But that's her name. And guess what? We mentioned this in the last episode. Right now, she's in the third season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which ends up being King of the Hill's direct competition. I think they knew that. I think that's why she's on the show right now. Cute. That's cute.

I like that. Man, that's one. Season three, Buffy's really going to F them up. You mentioned that last week or last month yes they quickly evacuated the hill from tuesday back to sunday but they got her at a good time because the previous year she was just in scream 2 and i know you did last summer and she's only in one movie in 98 and that's small soldiers where she's a voice role i think she was very busy with buffy because they were doing 22 hour long episodes oh yeah i mean that's her whole life

then isn't it yeah no i i loved her in both those movies the know what you did and scream too i i watched the shit i again i could project so much of myself onto kevin williamson uh the gay screenwriter who went from being he was like if quentin tarantino was gay so i could look up to a more specific guy to myself. What's he doing lately? Man, I think he sold. I think he is definitely still selling shows. Okay.

Yeah. I just heard about Dawson's Creek recently because Michelle Williams is on her road to the Oscars. Maybe she's going to win it for the Fablemans. And she said she learned so much from acting from the woman who played her grandmother on Dawson's Creek. And here's the crazy thing, Bob. So Michelle Williams played the love, a love interest for Dawson on Kevin Williamson's Dawson's Creek. Kevin Williamson, a film nerd who loves Steven Spielberg, who wrote Dawson to be him, who loves Steven Spielberg. To now, Michelle Williams is now playing Steven Spielberg's mom

in Romana Clef about Steven Spielberg's life growing up as a guy who loved movies I'm sure that's not lost on him no no I think I still need to see the Fablemans it's the one it's the one movie I didn't see uh over the holidays because there was like every theater playing Avatar we had to go out of our way to like where is the Fablemans where can we find this uh character drama I had to I had to this is I'll tell you all about I we find this character drama? I had to, I had to, this is, I'll tell you all about it. I'll talk to the audience, but I had to pay for it. The full 20 bucks on Amazon and watch it at my mom's place with motion smoothing on, which is not the way to see that film. I wish I had seen it in theaters, but it was literally playing nowhere near where my mom lived.

Yeah. That stinks. But yeah, she doesn't do a lot of acting these days. She was recently in the news because of the cancellation of let's call him Joseph Whedon. That fucking ass. Joss is a cool name for cool guys. Well, no, it's not. It's pretty lame.

But he made the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer absolute hell to be on. And she did not like working with him. And there's lots of other things you can read about online. Yeah, he sucks. I'm glad she is not defending him but yeah he seems like he thinks he'll make a comeback i don't know but yeah i the last thing i heard saw her in she's a voice in the masters of the universe revelations show that kevin smith did uh which is the kevin smithiest choice he could possibly make like he's like oh i he most women uh in action shows that kevin smith writes is just buffy so it was

nice of him to just cast buff yeah why not she's available yeah and uh and her and freddie prince still together still happily married yes uh And he's not really acting anymore. He's trying to start a pro wrestling league right now. Him not acting is for the best. You know, he's a nepo baby, as the term goes these days. I guess when your dad dies tragically, I could forgive it a little bit. Pretty much, yeah. I do, too.

Yeah. But yeah, outdoor couches, that's the B plots. I think we were selling outdoor furniture at this point but one was just gifted to them via con at the uh just dumped in their yard what a great b story of like they in the alley there's a couch what do they do like there's yeah it's such a clever b story to start with for these uh low stakes characters this reminds me like now that i live in a true city not the suburbs i just see furniture mattresses everywhere in the sidewalk on the streets and i remember walking somewhere maybe to get coffee maybe to do a recording but this guy he's dragging this couch

down the sidewalk and he's like oh hey man can you help me and i was like oh sure because it was a small couch i could help him pick it up i didn't know where he was taking it and i was lifting it up he's like okay just put it down over here and it was just like in like a patch of grass and i'm like what are you doing he's just like oh i'm leaving it here i was like i i'm helping you dump a couch in my neighborhood yeah and also the couch was wet like it had been rained on or something so i was like get the fuck out of here i you know yeah there's you can, well, you're not supposed to just leave a couch somewhere. I will admit I did that once when I newly moved here, Bob, because, so this was like 16 years ago. We had rented a U-Haul for the day for our big move, me and my then roommate. And she and I found, we were on a hunt for Craigslist free couches.

We found one first and we just took it because it was like well it's open but it was just the raw too big smelled weird and then when we got an offer for a second couch that same day we just took that big couch out of our uh out of the u hall and left it actually about three blocks from here just on the corner near the uh high school it's not a good home right uh yeah i well and you've seen the uh i've walked by couches where it's like oh it's it's freshly out here and then the next day oh the cushions are gone probably taken by an unhoused person who wanted uh soft cushions to and then you just see it's slow degradation until somebody finally uh takes it away someone who

respects bob taxpayer yeah because hank is on the phone with uh someone from the city i'm guessing and uh we he does your line basically my name my name is hank taxpayer and uh he wants the couch removed because people stand in the alley and it's a very bob newhart style joke in which we only hear hank's side of the conversation because we hear hank saying um what do we do we talk well that's not really your business is it sports mostly you know so the guy really wants to know like what they're talking about in the alley man what are you talking about yeah i i also love how them trying to get around the couch is destroying them like dale acts like he cannot hear hank across a couch length of of space it's all yeah it really is a comment about how much they are in their ruts in which they have

to stand in the same locations not being able to do that they can't even do it in front of the couch and they also have to stand in the same order or everything's off right yeah and the idea of sitting on the couch will get to it is uh it could destroy everything it's it's a line they're scared to cross yeah uh but we cut to tom landry after the couch scene bobby is fumbling a book out of his locker he's kicking across the floor he can't quite pick it up because he's very clumsy and he kicks it past two girls who chuckle at his misfortune which he turns into a bit he's like i'm kicking it down the hallway as a bit now i love that yeah that he that bobby stumbles literally how we use electricity can be smarter cleaner and greener at electric ireland we can help guide you there you see our new net zero

hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels, and much more. Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier, and your world brighter. Find our Net Zero Hub at electricireland.ie. Into this comedy bit by just being a klutz and again i think this says a lot about the comedy writer the male comedy writers writing this that you accidentally are funny in front of girls and he had girls laughing like you're just like oh time to be funny as much as i can be because girls are paying attention to me oh boy they'll respect me then yes yeah by making a fool out of myself uh i uh and this, then, I mean, this leads to him busting out his Arizona material.

What are you talking about? Which will turn into a, a tearful refrain later in the episode. You know, he's lucky he doesn't live in the cell phone era. Cause he'd be canceled. Yes. Comedy then.

Anti-Semitic. You couldn't even do King of the Hill. Actually, you couldn't do some things in King of the Hill today. Yes, but let's not do those articles anymore. Let's not say you couldn't do The Office today. Yeah, I just, you know, Mindy Kaling, it's fine. It's fine.

You got your Scooby-Doo show. Yeah, we'll see if I... I feel like I got to at least watch first episode of that, at least. I think she's bi in it, so I feel like i have to i i stay in a bi or lesbian velma i i want that but uh but now i i guess from what i read everybody's buying it maybe i don't know that's that's how it is today isn't it just watch riverdale right yeah i'm sure that's a better option for your edgy reboots yeah you know i want jughead to be asexual he kisses girls in it i'm not down for that you should be kissing burgers yes uh he uh bobby retreats to connie who seems annoyed by all

of this and she's like what's so funny about that and bobby remarks it's adult humor connie i don't even get some of it that's good then he calls pulling up his pants high and talking in a jewish voice as adult comedy it's uh yeah he just knows it's a funny voice and he's not quite sure where it comes from. So, yeah, we get to the scene you were mentioning earlier, Henry, where the guys are trying to, like, assemble in front of the couch. Dale has to go on the far other side, which is six feet away, but he pretends to not hear Hank.

Me and you just had a conversation a couch length apart. Yeah. And it's very easy to hear each other. That was like COVID for everybody. Yeah. One couch length. They're just doing personal spacing here. Yeah.

And they all like gradually succumb to the couch where Bill sits first being the laziest. Right. And he's just like tickles like, I'm drinking beer. I'm sitting on the couch and I'm outside. So just like imagine you can still drink beer outside, but you're sitting in on a couch. You know, in the previous episode, he was the guy to pull up a trash can to sit on. So I think Bill has long dreamed of sitting. I would guess for Bill, standing in the alley is more physical exertion than he'd like to do.

It's too much for this working man. He's on his feet all day cutting hair. Dale succumbs to the couch. He just says, I'm going to take a five-minute break. And he sits down. He relaxes. Boomhauer tries to distract everyone with like a sighting of a UFO. And then just sits down and then apologizes that Hank has to be the lucky Pierre of the situation.

Referenced in three days of the condo, lucky Pierre is the man in the middle of a threesome. Yeah, it's a dirty joke, man. They really like getting that dirty joke on the air. I'm shocked they, yeah, you're right. I'm shocked they did it twice, which yes, you'd, there is, you're lucky, Pierre, because you, I guess because French guys are gay and they would love being in the middle of an A-frame,

let's say. Here's a dirty, somewhat dirty thing that happened over the holidays with my mom well it was there was some trivia game I was playing with my with my family and one of the questions was like if you're cooking something rotisserie what do you place the chicken on and I was like oh spit and then i almost said because spin roasting me and i was like nope stop stop right there but yeah that's how i i knew it from its sexual connotation you should use the chasing amy chinese finger trap analogy instead uh well you see that yeah

it you know that would work you've you've got holes on both ends no matter no matter who your partner is true yeah i was going to say that only works in a male-male-female threesome, but not so. I'm wrong there. We've got at least two holes. Well, it's turning into our porno episode. I'm sorry. But Hank goes last and he says

if he doesn't like it, he's standing right back up, but he sits, he sips his beer, and they all sip their beers and the couch has now won them over. I love that there's no button joke on it. There's no sweaty extra joke on it. It's just quiet satisfaction of them going like, you know what? This is everything we've ever dreamed of. We're sitting on a couch drinking beer outside.

And after this scene, we get another great scene where Bobby gets a mysterious phone call. Hello. Hi, can I speak to Bobby, please? I'm sorry, you have the wrong number. Who was it, Dad? A girl asking for someone named Bobby. Oh.

Hello? Hi. Does Bobby Hill live there? Hold on a second. Son, it's one of your friends playing a prank. Hey, Joseph. Bobby, it's Marie. Oh. oh hey a bunch of us are gonna hang out at the mall want to come well i did have a prior engagement but i can always tape it i do like the uneasy look on bobby's face like, I was serious about this. He's like, no, I really mean this.

And yeah, I mean, I could identify with Bobby back then. I would have canceled things for like, but this TV show is going to air. And it's not like I can watch it again unless I videotape it. You know, that's my only access to it. I think the first time I canceled plans to play a video game is when I rented Chrono Trigger. But that's a good game to cancel your plans for oh yeah take everything off the calendar the connections you would have made with that with whatever friend you could have hung out with not the same not equal to the friendships

you would have made with frog robo and the rest exactly they're my real friends uh i love it happens like eight times in the episode, but it's funny every time. Hank simply cannot believe a girl would like Bobby. He just can't grasp it. It makes no sense. He's got a very quietly low opinion of his son. And then later he asked, like, she's not on a cereal box or something, is she? Like Carrie Strug.

Oh, you're right. That's why he says that man just the even when she directly asked for bobby's like well no a girl would not be calling for bobby that simply doesn't happen i also like that when he says one of your friends is playing a prank and bobby just goes like hey joseph the only friend he has yeah i mean i guess i was more quiet about my interest around girls because if they knew about my weird isolated summers where just like watch my Simpsons tapes, read some old Mad magazines, maybe get like a nicey somewhere. Who knows? The day is my oyster. But I won't talk to any human beings, of course.

They would probably laugh at that. You know, this is bringing back a memory of a girl in class giving me one of these moments of when the this this would be 1999 when the pokemon movie is coming out in theaters and of course uh we are sophomores in high school at this point and a girl asked me like the the most popular girl in the class turns and says like hey max you know about pokemon right what's this movie coming out? And then I say everything I know about the movie, and halfway through, I'm like, oh, wait, I really shouldn't have said this much. Now, if everybody didn't already have a low opinion of me in this class,

I'm now much lower now. It's hard to believe, but there was a period in which it was not cool to play video games. I remember being the gamer of my entire graduating class. I didn't know anyone else. So everyone would come to me with video game questions and they would make fun of me. I remember sitting in class one time

and some kid was like, Hey, Bob, in Final Fantasy, how do you get the magic sword? And everyone laughed. I'm just like, well, you don't know what you're talking about. Obviously, it's not a magic sword. The buster sword can be, I mean, you can put magic inside of it. Yes, we're talking about materia. That's another story.

Now that guy's probably in jail. Look at me now. These are our jobs. Yeah, thinking back to my childhood, a podcaster was the only destination in our lives. I had to learn about TV shows so I could tell everyone about them later in life. There's a fun montage. It's kind of joke free it's just like kind of cute but it's a montage of all the guys working on the couch very meticulously working on it like it's a car basically just showing how like they're part of the couch cult at this point they have to turn everything into a craftsmans project i think my favorite is them working under it like

it's a car and it's up on struts and and dale of course can only offer boom howard a drink he he is very useless otherwise as as we saw in the nascar episode too oh that's right that's right uh so let's cut to bobby's outing at the mall i don't eat anything with a head on it. Well, I'm a vegetarian, Bobby. I don't eat meat. My dad says if God didn't want us to eat meat, he wouldn't have invented steak sauce. Your dad says that? Once. Bobby, did you know that the average person consumes 500 chickens?

That's enough chickens to feed a whole starving village. But they shouldn't eat them. Because that's bad. I'll have the chopped salad, please. And I'll have the BLT, please. That has bacon, Bobby. Bacon doesn't have a head on it.

Could you make that an LT, please? Tonight was fun, Bobby. My friends think you're a riot. I really was choking at the food court, but don't tell them that. Hey, there's a couch in the alley. Sit down. You want a kiss?

Well, I'll try anything once. I didn't think I'd like fruit pies, but then I tried one, and if your kiss is anything like a fruit pie, I'm sure I'll try anything once. I didn't think I'd like fruit pies, but then I tried one. And if your kiss is anything like a fruit pie, I'm sure I'll... All right. See you around. Very observational of not knowing where to put your hands when you're kissing. Because Bobby's groping around in the air and then touching his chest.

Because you're also too afraid to touch the other person when you're when you first start kissing if the kiss had lasted five more seconds he might have had enough confidence to put his hand on her shoulder one hand on her yes just one hand i like that this is not making fun of vegetarian i mean it kind of is but it also is showing that bobby's imagination is so limited he cannot imagine a single meal without a meat item in it and a lot of Americans are the same way like when I became a vegetarian people were acting like I was being ripped off by buying

food without like you know chicken or beef and it's like you're paying almost as much as me but I'm getting meat the right thing to eat yeah yeah it's yeah you know I think they're trying to show that maybe she's doing it as like pro i gotta say in act three she's written meaner than she is in the acts one and two yeah she seems very sympathetic

uh in the first two acts yeah and i yeah i don't think this is typical king of the hill left punching at least in this scene because i think it is just saying like she has moral reasons for wanting to be a vegetarian but because she is an awkward teenager she's she's mature compared to bobby but she is an awkward teen she can't really vocalize what's so why she wants to be a vegetarian over over not being one yeah i mean also her uh imagination is limited too because it feels like she became a vegetarian for ethical reasons, which is fine. But she did not really explore, like, what the diet of a vegetarian is. So she assumes that all I can eat are salad, rice, and toast, which is what we see her eating in this episode.

But people, I mean, I'm a pescatarian. I eat fish for, like, health reasons. But when people ask me, like, what do you eat? You have to remind people, like, so many things don't have meats. Wait a minute. You eat pepperoni pizza? No, you take the do you eat? You have to remind people, like, so many things don't have meats. Wait a minute. You eat pepperoni pizza? No, you take the pepperoni off. You can eat pizza.

Yeah, you know, I will say for her options in Texas in 1998, probably more limited. We don't even have, like, Boca burgers. But, I mean, like, there are so many things that don't have a meat item in it. She's lucky later in the episode that Steakhouse has a salad bar. Like, there are some steakhouses that would say like i can give you french fries and that's about it yes yeah or i remember going to a burger king in like 2005 when they just added uh like garden burgers or some vile item and i ordered one the guy was like please don't make us make this they just didn't want to do it you know i i hear the on the dough boys they talk about

beyond meat at most of those burger king and mcdonald's places have really uh come a long way in the last couple years yes yeah i recommend it it's just as unhealthy as red meat but you're not killing something yeah you'll still have all of that sodium and all of the oil and the fat don't forget the fat all that fat i uh you know i did did you look up what the actual number for chickens is or oh no no uh so uh this could be that things are different now than in 1998 that could have been an accurate thing so two stats i found was i believe when she says 500 chickens she means lifetime uh but in 2014 the usa today uh said 2400 chickens in a lifetime is how much a typical american eats too many poor little chickens uh and then according

to vox in 2022 and this was an article that was trying to tell people you could eat less animals you know like just replace have a meat-free night even. You don't have to go fully vegetarian. They said in a year, the average American eats 174 animals, 23 chickens, a third of a pig, a tenth of a cow, three-fourths of a turkey, a small amount of duck, 12 fish, and 137 shellfish. Though, says a lot of that shrimp. Yeah. Yeah. So that's how many.

Honestly, that number sounds low for a year of an American eating meat. Yeah. I'm really surprised. I thought it'd be higher, but still too high. I would think most Americans eat a whole pig in a year, not a third of a pig. Like, yeah. But yeah. So it's sweet, though, that she tries to be like, that could feed a starving village.

Though they should need it. Yes. She's getting her, like, ethical lines crossed. So maybe I'm conflating this with Evangelion, but I feel like this is a little like Asuka just wanting to kiss because she's bored. Because she's like, hey, you want to kiss? Like, I like you, all right? And we're alone. Like, let's just kiss.

Yeah, yeah. kiss like i like you all right and we're alone like let's just kiss yeah yeah like i don't think like she's leading bobby on but i i assume that she's kissed another boy before and she's just like uh let's just see what this is like and you know and it's like it's bobby hill so you're not having a great time kissing him yeah well i mean it's his first it's the first kiss on a 12 year old it's not going to be a good time that sounded weird to say uh look but i'm just saying that she she did it probably just her own awkward teen way of saying like i guess i like you and hey we have this we have an opportunity of a private couch to ourselves a couch is a perfect place for teen makeouts so well let's go ahead and do that god i mean i had so much anxiety about kissing and i guess now you have YouTube videos.

But I think everyone just figures it out. It just feels like it feels so natural. But it's like before it happened, I was like, where do my hands go? Where does my tongue go? Where does my mouth go? Where does my nose go? The nose was the most terrifying part for me. I was like, but my nose, what if I bonk noses or whatever?

Yes. I've learned. I've learned since then. If you're waiting for your first kiss you'll figure it out yeah don't don't worry so much that's if i could tell my virgin self anything i'd say don't worry so much i tell myself that about a lot of things in the past yeah i guess actually even post virginity i could probably use that tip most of the time i wish future bob would come to me now yeah what's your's your tips now, 59-year-old Henry?

Find clean water. You'll need it. Stockpile it. Move to the middle of America and the cheapest place you can and stockpile water. Vancouver's too close to the border. But you got a lot of water. That's true. It's true.

Fresh water. So act two begins. And finally, Peggy is in the picture. And we open with her pouring morning coffee. Bobby comes in. Is comparing everything to his girlfriend. Now I can identify with this in a very embarrassing way. I'm seeing this through the perspective of my parents when I was in love for the first time. Where they're like, oh boy, he doesn't understand that there will be a lot of this in his life and this is not the end.

And also this infatuation is very strong. So, you know, Bobby's like's like oh did you see the sunrise it was the color of my girlfriend marie's hair and peggy's pouring coffee and uh you know bobby's remarking about how marie likes her coffee and hank is reading something in the paper about some like tree that's being cut down and bobby middle of a ballpark which makes no sense like how do you play baseball with that but anyway and bobby is trying to find some reconnection. And he's like, I'm not sure what my girlfriend thinks about this, but I'll ask her. I love that.

He doesn't even know what her opinion is, but he still has to say it. I mean, if you've never had a girlfriend before, which a girl kissed him once, that's not his girlfriend. But, of course, Bobby thinks that. And you want to brag to everybody. It's your way of saying I'm not a loser. I don't blame Bobby.

Like being in love for the first time is like an incredible overpowering feeling. I was like sick the first few times I fell in love. And then you get used to those chemicals entering your body. I think to this first girlfriend experience, Bob, you wrote one of the funniest things. Oh, I did. It's something awful at your time at sa your parody of a web comic where the web comic guy gets a girlfriend oh oh okay if you're looking this up it's a parody of xkcd called l mnd uh loser math sorry loser math nerd comics or something like that i forget

what it was called but uh i just love the guy shoehorns his girlfriend into like five comics in a row just to say i have a girlfriend and then the girlfriend leaves him and he has to write through the comic why why he's happier without her or something like it's you're a very funny guy thank you i retired my joke writing hats but uh it all goes into the podcast yes all your comedy sorry it's loser nerd math comics so if you want to look that up uh xkcd has done nothing wrong but they were just kind of irritating for a while uh you know most most web comics once a guy once the man writing it gets a girlfriend it's uh it's a dangerous moment uh that things change usually for the worst especially if it's a cool gamer girl yeah that's gonna frag all you noobs man yeah control off delete i think might be the guiltiest of this

uh boy what a bad comic let's uh let's see what's happening next hank and peggy are investigating this new relationship all right bobby i'll bite why do you keep saying the word girlfriend because i have a girlfriend. Bobby has a girlfriend? All right, son. She's real, right? I mean, she's not imaginary or on a cereal box or anything, is she? No. All right.

Well, I assume that she's your girlfriend, just like Joseph is your boyfriend. Peggy, Joseph is not Bobby's boyfriend. Red alert! The garbage jug's here! You're not taking it! Sir, can you ask this gentleman to get off the couch so we can do our job? Bill, don't move a muscle. Good work, Bill. All right, but if you leave it out somebody's gonna haul it away go to hell it's a great uh line reading and i also like how they're just reflected in dale's glasses when he

says that and they're not scared they're just like all right yeah uh i love how he doesn't move a muscle just like hank tells him to and hank hank thanks him for that but yeah i like peggy is also incapable of understanding it she's like why do you keep saying the word girlfriend she's willing to entertain it though not like hank saying well this is a joke i think this is one of uh you talk about it a ton when we first did peggy's headache but this episode two is a big level up for Peggy like season three Peggy is when she becomes the perfect character and this is one of those moments like you think in just the start of this scene she's in denial because she doesn't want Bobby to grow up it's her little baby she doesn't want him to grow up but and that's a good

trait for her as a mom but they need one extra spice to it of of that talks to peggy's uh other personality problems which they find later and it's so good yeah like her original personality was like over parenting mother who relies on conventional wisdom and now we're in the uh peggy has a bit of an ego era of the show which will last until the end and i like how she eventually will mock her son for being broken up with when she should understand like this is these are intense feelings for this young boy and it's okay if he's being irrational and yes i i was a young bobby uh falling in love for the first time telling my parents who humored me about my wonderful new girlfriend and how great she is and it's all very embarrassing but but your mom wasn't out to score points on you later of like

well i guess you weren't so smart were you no but i didn't say like well i love my girlfriend more than you love my stepdad yes yeah you you weren't as full of yourself as bobby yeah but another very observational thing uh so we go back to tom landry middle school bobby is already in the thrall of marie marie is not like manipulating manipulating Bobby. Bobby is just so infatuated. And this is like the number one thing that young nerdy boys do when they're in love. It's just like, I'll just do whatever this woman or man tells me. I love them so much. Well, that's not attractive.

Like being a doormat who just is like, anything you want to do, honey, is not attractive at all. So that's like a pitfall of like early infatuation is just being a needy doormat. And also how it it's so natural how it instantly causes conflict with his two friends of like, hey, my two longtime friends and my new girlfriend, we should all hang out together.

And then instantly you just crap on what your old friends want to do and you're like, well, her idea is great. Let's do her idea. Oh, absolutely uh i've been there and the idea at the time was like a woman wants to hang out with me well this will never happen again i need to uh only spend time with her yeah i mean your want to please her is much more important than like you know some guy you've some platonic male friend you've had since like fourth grade or whatever like you you're not as worried about i mean so i have been through this i did go through

this in middle school just in the indirect way of friendships with older boys who i you know looking back on it wished was more than friendships when i was a teen but what are you going to do back then you know this was It was the 90s. I'm jealous of these kids today. Will and Grace wasn't on TV yet. I know. This is a joke from the Bros movie, but they said that, like, these kids today,

they grew up with glee, we grew up with AIDS. Like, it was tougher. It was harder back then. Yeah. You could not actually, like, the idea of having an out boyfriend in high school or even junior high insane insane to think of for me growing up yeah i mean uh i didn't know anyone who was out in catholic school uh there was one uh guy i know i know it's not like a cool thing to say well that person is gay it was just like in brain candy where day foley is like dogs

know it this guy was so gay but his choice was i'll become a priest oh boy that was a bad move for him and i hope he i hope he's okay with everything that's happened but i hope he's uh maybe he can get out of that it's not too late yes not too late hey the pope quits yeah that's how dare that pope i that pope should not get full Pope funeral when you quit being Pope. They better take away his heaven condo. He's got to live in a tenement with the rest of us now. But yeah, they want to ride bikes. Marie says that's boring.

So Bobby quickly changes his tune. He's like, let's do what Marie wants to do. And they all go shopping for clothes. Or Marie wants to. And Bobby's like, that's a great idea. So immediately,by's in the cult of marie the guys are in the cult of the couch i love too that later you find out that connie and joseph just peeled away from them without even saying goodbye at the mall they

just like we're like this sucks yes out of here bobby doesn't know what happened to them uh and this is a great scene here we cut to dale's place uh and the phone rings he puts a microphone on it before he answers it that's right he's recording oh that's so funny he records everything but he knows like legally he has to tell the person so he says for quality purposes some portions of this telephone call may be recorded then he goes gribble residents you know this teaches me that if somebody says may be recorded it means it definitely is absolutely yeah uh and i like this little visual thing they're doing in which a curly phone cord is the divider between the conversation

between dale and bill it's just a clever little visual device which i'm sure like a kid wouldn't understand like what's this weird cable between the characters oh yes yeah that's very clever i i also think this is like the start of the growing friendship of Bill and Dale. They didn't share too many scenes in the first two seasons together, but this is where the softening of Dale will continue. And him and Bill just get into stupid things together all the time. My first thing I always think of when I say that is the hawk, the ridiculous hawk story. They're more frenemies, I think. But they're figuring out the partnership between these two characters is very funny but here it's like very affable where these guys who don't seem to have a lot going on personality wise uh or like a lot of depth to them

it's like what if they had a phone call with each other what would they talk about and they talk about the couch they're like man i wish i was on that couch right now a couch that's like can't be more than 30 feet away from them as they're saying this too yes uh it's like i was just about to call you about the couch it's sweet it's sweet i i also like how dale is just very happy just uh self-satisfied of like writes down bill puts ways like okay yeah dale's got a catalog of all of his tapes uh bill couch hank lawn and hank tools are his recorded conversations he must have very quickly digitized those once he had the chance i

hope so the gribble archives uh so marie and bobby are walking home uh bobby is holding all the shopping bags again bobby's the like the helpful doormat with uh it's like i don't respect myself but i love you and that urged you one kiss yes yeah and bobby uh marie is like what happened to your friends which shows it's a smart bit of writing because marie doesn't want to chase away bobby's friend she just thought the idea of riding bikes was boring and bobby's like kind of threw them under the bus but he's like i don't know what happened to him they were following us at the mall and they were gone we were having such a good time at the mall oh well hey i mean also i think bobby isn't too sad they're not

there because this gives him a private moment i mean i would guess the entire day he has spent with her to in bobby's mind is a long walk back to that couch he's figuring out how to get back to the couch yeah uh so bobby spots it and asks marie if she wants to kiss and she doesn't and bobby starts being a little creeper here because that's where we get this opening line that i played you have to respect my needs too because bobby claims well i'm sure he felt that way but he's like i didn't feel like kissing but when you asked me to kiss you i did so now you got to kiss me that's not how a relationship works no no i mean this uh certainly this feels like a joke when he says, like, you have to respect my needs. It sounds like he's already bringing them to the level of, like, say, people in a long-term committed relationship.

But just like, well, you know what? I didn't want to do X in the bedroom. And you did. And I gave it a shot. So how about you do Y for me now? This kind of, like, trading thing almost. And the respect my needs thing feels like Bobby's just quoting something he heard on TV. Oh, I didn't hear it on Oprah or something.

That's his life experiences watching TV. Yeah, I mean, wasn't that ours too? It was. I probably said things in relationships or as a teen of like, is this what mature people who date on seinfeld say in a relationship isn't that what i learned a lot about straight coupling mainly from endless sitcom watching it's mostly true except we all have uh the internet now uh is everybody on friends uh or as cruel in real life as people are on friends uh only only the wealthy i see uh so we get to them kissing uh

bobby is no still doesn't know where to put his hands marie it clearly is done with the messing with bobby or not i wouldn't i want i don't want to villainize marie marie is done with this expression of her affection for bobby and she's like looking at her watch while bobby is kissing her i love that it's underside that's how i wear my fitbit too the underside look but yeah that i could see it if i have to guess what marie is thinking i think she's like well i felt like kissing this boy once sure i'll kiss him again and she's like yeah i'm not really feeling this as much have i been nice enough as as this kiss lasted long enough to be nice all right well hey see you later bobby and she leaves bobby behind with his eyes closed he's

kissing the air but he doesn't take this as a bad sign just being abandoned mid-kiss but she's like okay bye bobby and she walks away and he's like still like fumbling and like smooching the air his little finger twiddles as he's saying good night marie like i pamela adeline's always great but she is so good at at bobby as this desperate little boy who goes who goes through a real emotional journey for a character she was originally told to just say like okay yeah like the flattest delivery for the most dull little boy uh meanwhile though after the scene marie is changing bobby can i have some rice and plain toast please my girlfriend marie's a vegetarian, and she says... Ah, there it is. I knew

this was too good to be true. So, she's a vegetarian. She still likes lots of things I like. Like kissing, for instance. Oh, my word. Hank, talk to the boy. Bobby, vegetarians can't be trusted. Just

last week, we caught one of them siphoning gas out of a company truck. I was talking about the kissing. He's too young. You would think that, but I am such a good kisser, Mom. Marie says so. You should have seen it. She bent my head back.

She tucked her hand. Bobby, Bobby, you are only 12. You should be afraid of girls. You're just jealous because you aren't as in love as me and Marie. Bobby, I really don't think you can compare a two-day infatuation to a 20-year marriage. I bet Marie and me have kissed more in two days than you have in your whole marriage. You know, I don't think I've ever seen you guys kiss. Your father has kissed me.

Peggy! I'm not afraid to show my love you are your father and i have done things you can't even imagine peggy please i forgot about that line when i was pulling clips uh that's that's an outrageous line from peggy but no you're right it is playing the two sides of peggy the over parenting protective mother and also the very prideful and egotistical peggy where she's willing to almost like tell bob the ways her and Hank have had sex to one up him like well yeah she she's almost going to list to her son the sexual acts she's done with Hank but but I yeah that a more mature grounded person uh would have said like I'm not in competition with my son to prove that i have a better relationship

but peggy instantly is like how dare you challenge me my my love affair god they give her so many good lines yeah and there's i want to praise the camera move because as hank is telling the story about the vegetarian thief the camera is like pushing it on him and then when peggy interrupts it snaps back that's really good it's a really funny camera move. And Peggy is asking him to have a sex talk with Bobby when he's just like, no, I got it. Vegetarians are horrible and you should never become one. I also, I mean, I do love Hank's like, there you go. Like he knew it was too good to be true. It had to be a bad girlfriend who's going to try to change him with his evil ideas.

A twig girl, perhaps. Yes. Yeah. I'm very in touch right now with the Hank world because I watched several episodes of... When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care?

I do it every Christmas break. I see a lot of Taylor Sheridan television. Oh, you poor man. It's Stepdad. Stepdad Theater. It's Stepdad Theater. You know, there's worse things to watch. It's fine.

And hey, I know why it's so popular. Harrison Ford literally has a speech in an episode about why it's awesome to own more things. And it's like, well, yeah, you fought for it. It's yours. Is he in Tulsa? 1923. Okay. How'd they get him?

And is he just sitting? He does a lot of sitting, though he does ride a horse. I'm just saying a tweet I said now. But 1923 is a show that stars harrison ford and helen fucking mirren and then everybody else in it is like a person you've never heard of almost all white including like dudes like named sledge barkley or brand clutcher yeah it's i've never heard these fucking guys before and then like a half dozen blonde girls who are like the perfect trad wife and and there's such a sneaky thing they do in the first episode where there is a jealous jealous irish guy who's just like you can't own you can't own the whole mountain

i want the grass for me he's like that's you're just jealous of it that's why you want to have my stuff and it is so about how socialism's evil no wonder it's so popular it really is but it's also like full of good acting and stuff but obviously i think some people watch it because they're like i'm just like this cool guy that every girl wants to fuck and he's like the best dude and still and even though he's in his 70s he can still outshoot any old younger guy like he's such a badass like yeah that's the same with that tulsa king show which i haven't watched that but uh my my stepdad and mom really love it too uh we i got to hear all about it from our choppo pals they they can start a podcast yeah my mom and stepdad yeah yeah i should send him a i got an extra microphone i could send we get 10 of the profits it has to be hosted on talking simpsons yes yes yes yeah now people will be demanding it

we get a sweet scene here because we cut to uh luann and connie uh they're in connie's room luann is flattered but also weighing over her head that connie asked her to help her with her algebra homework oh she's so lost it's so great and and they've kept the continuity of her hair no one would have blamed them if they had given her normal length hair again or just said like she'll wear the wig until her hair grows back but they kept it short i love that and connie admits it's not why you're here and she goes oh thank god she tosses the book away like that's okay it's it's uh what up next is like a very good joke about like just the smallness of connie's world because she's like well as you know bobby has a girlfriend and a fun joke about luann being

dense bobby has a girlfriend and i know it it's so funny yeah yeah it's i also like it it's like connie trying to sound like a smart character in a book who makes pronouncements like as you know bobby has a girlfriend but it's far too smart for luanne it just leaves her lost yeah and uh she jumps in with some adult advice and she tells connie this is meant to be it'll happen and she points out you know buckley and i were meant to be and that's why he blew up and connie just grimaces like oh i love a reaction shot that she's like oh wait i probably shouldn't have asked about dating to somebody whose ex-boyfriend exploded in front of her just a few what weeks ago or something like yeah i though i can see why connie turned to luann because literally the only thing luann knows more about than connie is relationships and not that luann particularly understands

relationships either but she has kissed boys and done more so she can tell connie something absolutely cut to the virgin episode in a few years ah yes yeah when she gets re-virginified yes so we cut to hardware ranch where hank is asking for help keeping the squirrels away from his outdoor couch and the clerk goes off the check and peggy tries to just place her hand on h's like after some like reluctance she's not even holding hands Hank has his hand on the counter and she tries to touch it and it freaks him out he can't he cannot stand it it is a really good little sea story of Hank is actually very troubled by uh public intimacy like Bobby that's probably what drives Peggy

crazy too and Bobby says that that he's right he does know that they never have public displays of affection in front of others and and then Hank is a very repressed person also yeah is that the first time they've really shown the timeline of which he says a 20-year marriage and Bobby is 12 that means she didn't get pregnant until seven years into their marriage yeah that's a long time of you know that narrow urethra didn't loosen up for a very long time they'll explore that a lot in pregnant pause like why bobby was born so late to their marriage why they're why they're kind of older parents for having such a younger kid that's why they're i

see so it's it's setting up for the next episode they know is coming even yeah and uh i also like how cruel the show is and that they're punished for just simple pda it's just like a hand holding uh a old guy comes by and says get a room you two arlen is a very repressive society like that it's not just i think that shows you it's not just that hank is that repressed that it's also like if he even wanted to be openly loving any person in ar Ireland would say, hey, how dare you? I love, too, that he's like, wow, my hands are full. And he's holding a big wrench. He's taking some off the shelves to make sure his hands are full.

And when the guy yells at him, he picks back up the flashlight to get something back in his hand. Now, I'll admit, I am in a PDA positive coupling with my wife. We're not jamming tongues down each other's throats, but we are always holding hands. Escalators are the perfect kissing situation. Just a little peck because she's a foot shorter than me, and I am not ashamed. And this will be buried by the time this episode releases. And this is a tweet that didn't make a lot of waves, but someone took a picture of a couple kissing on the subway very judgmentally.

This white couple talked about how much they like Ethiopian food then started making out and all the all the replies were like maybe you should find love yes maybe you're lonely don't take pictures of people stop strangers who are having like a nice moment with each other man yeah that's a jerk thing to do yeah okay I mean really yes that tweet I guess is just somebody saying like they got mad seeing a happy couple after a date which hey i've been there i've been there yeah we've pre pre taking pictures of people and putting it online i've been there yeah but but yeah i know you you and nina have a very very sweet relationship i uh i'm used to uh some public displays of affection with my husband living here and then other times when

we've been on trips he's had to remind me of like hey we're not in san francisco you can't just actually like kiss me uh it makes us a little less comfortable kissing in public it's a different situation for me obviously but when i would go back home i went back home with my wife uh who's asian by the way uh back to my state of ohio there were a few people looking at us walking down the streets uh one guy was like, hey. He's like, nope, I'm not going to talk to the guy in the MAGA hat. Let's go this way. It's not dissimilar. No, no. It's a tough country.

Side note, my husband, when he flew back here, and this was in Seattle, he says at the airport he went to, there was an entire family, like four people, mother mother father kid son daughter all wearing matching let's go brandon attire like it was like the armor they put on to like well for visiting them in seattle i'm putting on my let's go brandon stuff gotta show off for for the airport it was insane whoa god are people still doing that brandon thing uh you know i don't i think so but the only things i the conservative stuff i see at airports is usually a punisher t or a blue lives matter thing i don't see as much brandon i think like snarky

leftist took back brandon because now we just call joe biden brandon as like an ironic comment on him yeah i think even the dark uh where there's dark brandon for the the liberal blue checks as well yeah so maybe it's been effectively joked uh the joke has been taken back enough but uh i didn't uh my husband was too scared to take a photo of them but uh based on his reporting he did see a let's go brandon family i've only seen mega hacks families uh so we cut to the alley and we see the sanitation truck rolling by the coast is clear the boys retrieve the couch now they're hiding the couch from the garbage man yeah i i love their little system that they set it all back up and they even have a little you know covering for it to make

sure it doesn't get wet and yeah they've got an awning they've got uh little covering for it to make sure it doesn't get wet. Yeah, they've got an awning. They've got drink holders. It's perfect for them. They've made it into a project, and it's great. It is a real dude's rock kind of moment. Yeah. And I had to look this up,

but this is a real song that's playing over it. It's not just... Oh, I was watching it this morning, and I tried using Shazam, but it didn't recognize the song. I had to Google the soundtrack for the episode, but it is. And of course, I would be losing my cred as a Jacksonville. I don't want to say native, but I didn't live there for most of my childhood. It's Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Really? Yeah. It's a song called I Know A Little from a 1977 album. So not one of the more famous Skynyrd songs. I mean, I don't know Skynyrd songs that weren't on the radio, which I think this one is one of the more famous skinnered songs i i mean i don't know skinnered songs that weren't on the radio which i think this one is one of those but it's a nice little jam it's uh it's an actual song it's not just like all instrumental but they took the instrumental opening yeah that's a weird thing to pay for when they could have just had their composer do a sound

alike or just like a jaunty uh country-ish tune I think Skinner, not cheap. No, no. So yeah, let's hear the origins of the couch. What did you do to my old couch? We're not falling for it, Con. This was not yours. I get rid of it after Neighborhood Cat come inside and pee all over it. We try to dump it in front of Gribble's yard, but Min cut her leg on a tack, so we dump it here.

Ah, I get it. He's seen what we've done with it. Now he wants it back. Gribble, you crazy. I don't want it back. Oh, hey, I got an old pair of boxer shorts you can use as tea cozy. Want that too? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hey, is Bobby home? Who are you? I'm Marie. How old are you? Fourteen.

Fourteen? I don't know what Bobby's been telling you, but he's only twelve. He's been telling me lots of things. How come you never hold your wife's hand? See you later, Dad. Bobby's Marie is 14 years old. What? Oh, God.

That means when she was three, our Bobby was only one. It makes me sick just thinking about it. The age gap is a little messy this early in their lives. Yes, yeah. It's like if they're both in middle school together, I don't think they need to freak out this much my my first girlfriend in high school was two years younger than me i think most of my girlfriends were either like two or three years younger than me my my husband is uh eight years younger than me but i i met him when he was

29 so it's like uh yeah but these this moment is so funny that they play it off like they're learning bobby's dating a woman like like an older woman yeah like bobby's 19 and she's like 38 or something uh but this this moment too that like i don't know what bobby's been telling you but he's 12 like they think he's they're outing him or something uh and of course they i mean hank's not gonna like marie that she also lords this information over him which i suppose is a not good show she's not the best person doing that to hank like oh he tells me lots of things she's just as emotionally immature maybe slightly more than bobby uh more emotionally mature than bobby she still says inappropriate things to adults yeah but that's like the difference between of like, you know, somebody who's four feet tall

or someone who's like four foot three. Like it's not that much bigger than growth. Yeah. One thing I forgot to cover up front was like hall monitors. I saw this in media all the time. There was never a hall monitor in any school I went to. You know, we at my elementary school, we had a hall monitor type thing. It was called safeties.

Okay. And it was mainly, you did get a sash. For about four months, I really wanted one of those sashes, and then I gave up on it. You can just order your own sash. But I think their main job was, there was like a side road where parents picked up their kids and uh your job is the safety you were called to safety because you made sure kids didn't like run in front of a car or get run over there like so uh but they didn't and i think they would walk we also didn't have a lot of indoor at this jacksonville one it was mostly outside uh around port, we called them. It's like the school in Halloween.

It's actually a lot like that. So it wasn't so much a hall monitoring thing, but safeties were basically there. They did wear a sash type deal like Marie does in the start of the episode. There were never hall passes or people patrolling the halls. I knew in my private schooling, they had quote unquote room moms, which are like unpaid labor. Like my mom is a work from home. I'm sorry. Stay at home mom.

And she'll come to the school and like serve cafeteria food and do stuff. And I'm thinking now I'm an adult. I'm like, you were paying to have your kid here and now you're just going to hang out here and work? Yeah. I'd have never done that shit. No way. Your mom was too nice to that place. My mom didn't do it. Oh, okay. Other moms. Other moms. Yeah. My mom what a nice your mom was too nice to that place yeah my mom didn't do it oh okay uh other moms other moms yeah my mom had a real job uh yeah i i think there weren't so

much hall passes well of course the last two years of my high school were after columbine and you it was very locked down like they they seem to think if you asked to go to the bathroom you're really going to your locker to get a gun you're arming the bombs yes yeah there somebody left a timer like a accidentally left like an alarm clock or something in their locker that made noises that sounded to someone like a bomb they evacuated the entire school into the stadium and we sat there for an hour before the cops found out what it was like we were all very worried everything was a bomb or a gun uh after columbine yeah was it uh but we've enough enough columbine stuff this is this is six whole months before columbine yeah there's still time

there's still time uh There's still time. So, yes, we cut to a red teen basement party. All the kids are dancing. Bobby is not cool. They're all white, too. They're all white. Bobby's doing a silly old-timey dance. He grabs some snacks and asks some local teens if it's a make-out party.

And he says, because if it is, I'm prepared for that. I love how he's not worried. He's not insecure at all at first talking to these two older boys. He's like, like yeah i'm on the same level as you like he's like i've kissed before yeah he's kissed marie twice and she did not enjoy it he thinks he's very good at making out though yeah and then uh the camera like pivots around his head i feel like they wanted to push this further but they didn't have enough money but it goes like 45 degrees around his head before we cut to marie doing some funky fresh dancing with some teen boys yeah you know the show demands too much of rough draft i think they've i feel like there's like we've done six episodes where there's like a long turn around

these characters or maybe a big zoom in on a uh mosquito or a fly like yeah there's but i love bobby's bobby's jealousy here is also perfect like it is how a child who doesn't know how to be jealous expresses jealousy yeah i mean they're covering every aspect of a young relationship where it's like the overly infatuated boy uh the talking about this girl to everybody even your parents the being a complete doormat the not knowing how to kiss and then they're covering the jealousy because that's another thing when you're too young to handle relationships you just love the feeling of being with that person and like anyone else is an intruder like no you're taking them away from me yeah some people don't grow out of that uh but yeah, I like that he doesn't know what to do with his jealousy.

That he's like, hey, if the girl doesn't want to dance, then listen to her. He's trying to shove them away from her. And I think for Maria, I don't think she... Well, one, she does not think Bobby is her boyfriend. And two, I think that she's just like, dancing is fun. And I believe her when she says she just wants to dance and have fun. Yeah, they're not trying to demonize her. And I like Bobby trying to break up this dance.

Again, it feels like he's imitating something you saw on TV. Like when the guy steps in, like the lady said no. Yeah, he thinks he's a cool cowboy in that moment. Yeah, Marie could be meaner, but she just says Bobby move. Like she wants him out of the scene. Yeah. But that's when Bobby causes a scene. He turns off the music everyone is staring at him he just shouts marie and then she just grabs him by the hand just yanks him up the stairs and that's when we have uh this

very very messy breakup in this longish clip why were you dancing with those guys i don't know i like dancing i wanted to dance who were those guys why were you dancing with all those guys? I don't know. I like dancing. I wanted to dance. Who were those guys? Why were you dancing with all those guys? Bobby, they're friends. We were just dancing. What about us? You're supposed to dance with just me and maybe some of your girlfriends, but mostly just me. Bobby, this is getting way too intense. We're only friends. I thought we were more than that. Bobby, you're a funny guy. You make me laugh, that's all. But we kissed.

Yes, and looking back now, maybe that was a mistake. Mistake? That was the single most important thing in my life. Look, Bobby, I don't think we should hang out together anymore. Just tell me why you were dancing with all those guys. Goodbye, Bobby. You kissed me. That means we're back together again.

Marie, come back. Look, I'm doing your favorite comedy bit. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What a performance. Yeah, man. Give Pamela Adlon an Emmy too.

Yeah. I mean mean usually when people are locked into these characters that don't have a lot of emotional range when they're forced to make big emotional speeches or push themselves they find new ways to express themselves through the character and i think like bobby will become more expressive from this point on because she has never had to push bobby this far oh man yeah the way she's having to like cry. I mean, the challenge of especially do your Bobby voice and put on his weird Yiddish accent, then cry, sob through all of it. everyone watching it like remember when you were a kid and you thought this was so important you thought this one breakup would just end your life bobby it is it is like a sad line but it's also a funny line where bobby was like it was the most important thing in my life and yes that's what it feels like when you are 17 you go through a breakup and you're like i was going to be with that woman forever this awkward first kiss was the start of my life story yeah i this is one of those

dangerous things i i worry about with all of the young adult fiction uh people grow up loving now is that this belief that you like well yeah the characters in the show who start dating in like middle school they're together forever of course you know but, but that's a TV show or a book series or whatever you in, in real life, not, not as many people stay forever with the first person they kiss, you know? Yes. Uh, maybe in the past, maybe, maybe. Yeah. I think, I mean, it probably would have helped kids mature a lot more if like, I don't know, Harry Potter, like broke up with that girl and then maybe later in life they reconnect. Yeah.

I mean, it's hack to talk about Twilight, and a lot of people are mad at it for the wrong reasons, but it is just like, what if you got pregnant in high school and it was awesome? Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, it brings in a whole lot of Mormon baggage. Yes. Yes, yeah. And your baby grows up instantly, so you don't have to raise it. Yeah, and she already has a boyfriend uh who is imprinted that is a fun man yeah i think i do think there is a

point that people were mean to twilight in ways that were sexist yeah but also twilight is fucked up yes i mean not to go on too long about twilight there was a point before the movies where i was reading summaries of the books because everyone was making fun of them. They were just very funny. And I had to tell people that the imprinting thing with Jacob and the baby was real. Like, this actually happens in this book. I did not believe it until then. Yeah, I think, you know, at least the Fifty Shades of Grey lady, she took her Twilight fanfic and turned it into at least like something exciting

about like actual sex though yeah though still i from what i know about the overarching story of the 50 shades of gray eventually they also turn into a traditional trad relationship as well instead of having fun kinky sex the books for your mom and uh it only goes so far it's it's about how you'll you'll have some kinky sex at first with a hot enough rich man but eventually you need to convince him to just have missionary sex and raise a child invest in property yes i don't know what happens in those books uh i yeah i i only know through comedy bits mocking those films but the breakup stuff uh yeah i too i, I think everyone's initial breakups are pretty bad. My first two are really bad.

And then like the rest of them weren't great, but it's just like I felt all those feelings. My heart is now hardened. And I know that being this upset is not really worth the investment. But when it happens to you, this is very accurate, which like you are crying, you are like inconsolable and then you are just catatonic. Yes. I was very much Bobby like lying on the living room floor for a few weeks. No. And yeah, I like that they have that because like it's not as exciting as just like the woman in tears crying and eating chocolate and having like gal pal chat or whatever.

For Bobby, it's the very realistic, I am just, I have nothing, I have no one, there is no future, I'm just going to lay catatonic on the floor. Life is over and I don't want to do anything. Yeah, you know, again, I had around this age or middle school, high school, I went through some of these emotions,

but not in a dating context. Usually though, it was me not unlike bobby but in a gay way putting a lot more emotions on a male friendship than it actually was just like you know i would befriend straight guys who i'd be like yeah we're really close me and you right and like not that i would make a move or something with them, but just I was more emotionally invested in a friendship than they were in what they thought was just a friendship. I see now. I was definitely more emotionally interested

in the women that broke up with me. They weren't crying as much? I'm sure they were happy to be done with me. Hey, we're all happier now. That's why it's fun to watch this now as opposed to when this episode aired when we were both like 16 we probably weren't in the right place to appreciate it no i didn't see it when it first aired i saw it after i had been broken up with a few years later and i thought to myself i should have seen this first and for the longest time it

was hard to watch this because it's so realistic that That's why it won the Emmy. It's such a realistic depiction of a breakup, of a very young breakup. Yeah. And yeah, Marie was never Bobby's girlfriend. I never did that. I never went that far. I was never that deluded. But it took me a while to learn when the girls I was interested in were just having me around as a laugh. And I learned over time a key signal of that

is when they would call me Bob Mackie. They would use my full name in a kind of a mocking way. And it happened as late as my 30s. Oh, damn. When I was trying to date in my 30s where talking to a woman, we're getting along well.

It's like, okay, maybe there's something going on here. The next time I see her, hi, Bob Mackie. i'm a little like i'm a little like i'm doing bits for you is that what i'm doing here it's a little sick song you're just like hey it's bob mackie it's funny your name is bob mackie come here dance around for me oh that's rough yeah yeah like it cuts me like a knife when everyone's like hi bob mackie just like i remember everyone just like are you mocking me what's going on here i i think yeah i think my even my parents uh did not in that way but when they when my mom first learned of you she of course said the like oh like the guy right

right yes yeah i'm sorry that's followed you your whole life uh if you say my name mockingly like it's funny i'm saying the word bob can you imagine the very idea yes yes but i mean i never i i never really fell for that i never delivered myself into thinking that but i did learn the signals uh and that was important for me it takes a lot of time yeah i i also just love that bobby his his just needy emptiness of like just tell me why you were dancing with all those guys yeah he circles back when she's like we weren't dating yeah and he's like no i want to know he's like no no this is the more important question i have to answer now please it's all it's all i need to know right now so we open with act three uh hank and peggy are sitting on the couch hank awkwardly has her arm around her has his arm around her they're trying like indoor pdas when he hears the door

open he un he pulls his arm away i like too that peggy has to like fix her glasses because he does it so quickly it messes up her glasses it's like they're they're buttoning their shirts or something but it was so chaste yes uh and hank uh assumes forgetting bobby as a girlfriend's like someone push you off your bike son that's so good he still he does not believe it part of his brain cannot accept it yeah and we think peggy is going to comfort bobby but instead she rubs it and she's like well i guess your love wasn't as strong as your father's in mind now was it that is one of the all-time great peggy moments i think like it's so it shows that she is not just the overprotective mom she is that

petty that when her son is coming in sobbing she's like time to score points kick him all these down and let him know that my love is stronger than his I like that Bobby just response uh-huh yeah God it's so funny and then we jump to the alley all the guys

looking down at Bobby. He's weeping on the couch. He's just saying, I kissed Marie on this couch. And Bill is offended. He's like, now, Hank, that's not what this couch is for. You have to put it to a vote for a family member to use the couch. I love that. And even Hank is not comforting. He's like, you know, it's only natural to be sad, but the couch is a happy place.

Yeah, it's like a little forceful. He's like, a like yeah you're not supposed to cry here bobby it's it's a fun way for hank to in general do what hank always does which is tell someone to bury their emotion yeah and uh like i do remember we're getting to the end of personal stories here by the way i remember my parents trying to console me i was inconsolable and i i really uh feel for them because yes it wasn't the end of the world and my mom tried talking to me and i heard like well go in there and talk to him like sending in sending in the dad you know yes just like to be like well well you know bob uh there'll be other girls and uh just like they don't they don't know because you're just a mess of like chemicals bouncing around in your head like you cannot be fixed instantly.

You need to like have your heart hardened a little bit. Yeah, it sadly takes time. But Hank obviously doesn't have much patience for. Also, I mean, it is very unmanly for Bobby to cry this much about a girl. He basically like squeals away from the couch. Oh, God. Yeah, it's certainly it's more of Hank it's more of hank too of just like he probably was at first happy that bobby is showing signs of heterosexuality here but then

he's like a little too much you're now despite i did want you to love women but you're loving them a little too much that it makes you cry like these it's the tough rules the very narrow definition of what a man must be one of the better earlier episodes is where uh hank is taking hank is helping luann through her breakup and i'm glad they didn't repeat the same beats here they easily could have without really realizing it oh yeah right hank actually like eats ice cream with her and helps her and comforts her and tells her to bury her feelings i like in this way that hank is more it's more just about the couch for me yeah yeah and uh yeah we cut to bobby lying on living room floor and uh there's a hank williams song playing there's a tear in my beer and hanks observes that bobby stopped crying and

his taste in music is getting better too i love that yeah then of course hank uh hank hill would welcome hank williams uh senior uh being played in his house finally yeah my uh by the way yeah Hank Hill would welcome Hank Williams Sr. being played in his house finally. By the way, Hank Williams Jr. is a big turd. Hank Williams Sr., not bad. I'm sure if he was interviewed on Fox News, we wouldn't

want to hear what he had to say either. He died before that and he just has a nice song. He was killed in an accident with some rowdy friends. Don't investigate it. Oh, I didn't't know this uh no that's a joke about the football song right yes all the rowdy friends are coming over you don't know the hank williams jr i know i'm kidding uh but yes uh i remember being lying on living room floor and we had a little flop beard rabbit named emily at the time she would jump around the house i'd just be like sitting with my head tilted to the side watching the bunny jump around on the floor and then occasionally the bunny would come over

like nipping my clothes like is this thing alive oh the bunny was checking in on me oh that's sweet yeah that's sweet i i like lady bird at first is kind of sweet and comforting him with a lick on the back but then she goes to sniff his butt as as dogs do you know i think peggy is feeling a little uh guilty about the way she treated Bobby because she just like covers him up with a blanket. And the scene of Bobby laying on the ground with the lights off became a meme. Have you seen this? It's like, oh, no, I haven't seen this.

Bobby is laying on the ground and someone has photoshopped the same image, but like a glowing hologram, like the soul has lifted from his body. Oh, that's cool. I haven't seen this one. Oh, that's awesome. I't seen this one oh that's awesome i gotta i'll keep an eye out for this meme out there it's it's very very funny it's not like an animated gif it's just like a fun image of like the soul has left the body that's how depressed someone is i mean that's definitely what's coming through i also was curious like wait well at first

why is he wearing jeans he is not wearing his normal stretchy Bobby pants. It's all for him to be wearing jeans to open them up later. That's right. That's right. He's not wearing his like short pants or whatever. He can't unbutton his normal stretchy short pants. Yeah. So after this period of mourning, Hank gives Bobby some advice. Look at it this way, Bobby.

Tonight you're going out on a date. With your parents. And we know how you like going out with people older than you. I'm on a date with my two favorite men. Look at me. A cup of rice, plain toast, and I'll help myself to the salad bar. Thank you. Is that her? Ah, now it all makes sense. She looks exactly like me. Dad, I want to go home. You can't let her get to you, son. If you leave, she wins.

And dating's all about who wins and who loses. Yeehaw! Welcome to the Panhandler. Would any of you fine folks care to take on our 72-ounce top sirloin steak? Finish it in an hour and it's free. Uh, no thank you. Yes,

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So, yes, final memory. I remember being very morose and depressed after this breakup, and my parents tried to hang out with me for the first time in years. Why don't we go out for some food? What do you think about that? And just me being no fun and i'm trying to like well well how about the weather today is nice right no it's not stupid weather sucks it's gonna be cloudy all the time

i'm gonna call my mom after this episode thank her for all the things she did now that's uh yeah that's i love that i have had the bobby feeling of parents trying to comfort you but be in an awkward way and you just go like oh i wish i was anywhere else like i'm dead also just wanting to feel feeling like i don't want to be in the world i don't want to be up even for a free meal i don't want to be out in the world right now and peggy is sweet in a kind of patronizing way it's like a date with my two favorite men whoo and to be out in the world right now. And Peggy is sweet in a kind of patronizing way. It's like a date with my two favorite men. Woo. And then, but later in the restaurant, we're back to Peggy saying, it makes so much sense.

She looks just like me, you know? Oh, that's such a great line because Marie doesn't look anything like Peggy. Marie is a cute and hip blonde teen. And Peggy, even in her teens, we've seen it. She looked virtually the same the same high hair and nerdy glasses and also peggy but is butch sensibility is like that's that's part of what's fun about her that but that peggy's ego is so big that she sees a cute girl that her son likes she's like oh, oh, well, that explains it.

He looks she looks just like me. And the idea like, well, of course, my son will fall in love with a woman who's just like me. The perfect woman. Yeah. I now take it as a compliment. His infatuation with her was just because he loves me so much. Like, it's all God. How much is packed into that of Peggy's projection?

It's so good. So much is said with so few lines of dialogue. And I guess, too, with Hank's view on dating is that it's all about who wins and loses. That's also a great line. So let's talk about the Big Texan Steak Ranch in Amarillo, Texas. I think we talked about this on the Talking Simpsons

about Maximum Hummer Drive. Oh, and the Company Man episode, too. Oh, wasn't that, too? Yeah, that's what holloway orders too yeah they're probably at the same restaurant right it is he takes one bite and he's done right yeah well uh they really explore that idea in this episode so this is based on that restaurant i mentioned earlier the big texan steak ranch and according to the website quote the steak is free to anyone who in one hour or less can eat the entire meal consisting of the steak itself, a bread roll with butter, a baked potato, shrimp cocktail, and a salad.

Otherwise, the meal costs $72. Man, that's a lot. I forgot it's also the fix-ins. Right. Yes, you got to eat. I mean, when I was thinking of 72 ounces of beef, I recently, I think the biggest steak I've ever eaten in my life was like a 16-ounce steak. Over Christmas, I had six ounces of prime rib as my stepdad makes a nice prime rib. I felt low-key after just that.

What if you ate 12 of them? I could never. I want to continue this quote, though. But, quote, those who have successfully consumed the 72-ounce steak challenge have their names recorded and posted at the restaurant. To date, over 10,000 people out of about 70,000 people who attempted the challenge have accomplished this feat. And, yes, competitive eating champ Joey Chestnut accomplished it in 8 minutes and 52 seconds, the record for this steak ranch. Okay, that is insane. He's a monster, Joey Chestnut. accomplished it in eight minutes and 52 seconds the record for this steak ranch that okay that is insane he's a monster joey chestnut i i would assume he had bobby's uh reaction at the end of the episode after doing that in eight minutes but man that's wild eight minutes for that that much

like i also didn't realize ten thousand ten that's that's far more than i would have guessed one seventh of the people and who are all probably dead now uh and then yes in september of 2021 they announced that they uh that 10,000 people had officially won the challenge as it began in 1960 so that was the big landmark in 2021 i don't know how accurate those numbers are that's just what they announced uh hey i i'm sure advertising for a steakhouse has to be true, right? Sure. No lies detected. And you know what? Bobby, Hank is like, I thought you were a vegetarian and I want it rare.

This leads to Bobby's gout in season five or six. It's just like, this has to be the tipping point where it's just like, there's too much red meat in you. Yeah, I can't. I love steaks rare. Like that is how, if I have a steak and, but the rare steak, the bloody steaks, they, they don't like me. It's too, my husband actually likes them well done, but I go like, come on, you're, you're eating this for the blood, aren't you? Like you, that's why my, my fake burgers bleed. I never liked rare steaks. Uh, medium well was my, my jam, but I stopped eating steaks like 20 years ago, so I don't really remember.

You know, there's the Tim Robbins sketch about sloppy steaks and pouring water on them. That's the bit in it. But I don't need to pour water on a steak to slop them up. A rare steak, already pretty wet. A very, very wet steak. No need for the au jus sauce or gravy or whatever but uh yeah again i even though my mouth is watering as i describe steak i can't i really i have i'll eat beef every now and then during the year but it's under 10 times and as for an

actual like steak steak like a bloody steak it's that one christmas steak that's all i've had in the last three years that's the only steak i've actually you're starting a new trend i thought it was like christmas ham christmas goose you know give me the biggest steak you can boy my stepdad likes making prime rib and you know what i gotta take that back i had two steaks during that trip because uh it was only four ounces of a filet mignon uh bacon wrapped one that i got for free thanks to bob oh right thanks to omaha steaks yeah my my family really appreciated it bob excellent we all ate well that night and we thank we thanked bob mackie well their potatoes were good that i that i ate from them yeah i'm sure they were their their hot dogs and burgers were fine too yes but

this isn't an ad for omaha no no No, no. They're not paying us yet. So we get a steak montage next. A lot of things are happening here where this giant toilet seat-sized steak is plopped down in front of Bobby. The waitress goes over the rules. No one can help you chew or cut the meat, and you can't get sick before you finish. I think you're allowed in the steak challenge at the ranch, you're allowed to cut into it to make sure it's done enough for you but you can't actually eat it so you're allowed to take like one cut into it okay interesting and i guess uh i wonder if they have bathroom rules like that too uh like because obviously if you can go to the bathroom you're

some people i would think if you're trying to beat the challenge you're up chucking your chuck and then coming back and vomit every 30 ounces uh and then we hear in the soundtrack we hear it dipping into the same sounds and styles as aaron copland's rodeo uh copeland by the way i'm looking at that as if it's the sylvester stallone movie copland aaron copeland's rodeo which was using the beef it's what's for dinner campaign oh yes let me play one of those ads tonight in bay point maine it's beef bourguignon in malibu is sirloin kebabs. Everybody's eating beef. And guess what? Nobody's dying.

Yes. There are no more poisoned cows. You can eat beef again. It's safe. It was shocking later in life to find out that those commercials were only done as a response to negative press from people dying from mad cow. I think at first it was mostly the coli thing. And everybody made jokes about it. There's simpsons plot lines based on it uh children were killed by poisoned burgers well not i mean not like maliciously poisoned but like tainted meats and uh yeah and then there was the

mad cow thing i think they were like either like happening at the same time i think the e coli thing happened first but this is like a big recovery for beef and i mean beef farmers too were i think they were also sponsoring that because of oprah as well like she had made some anti-beef stance uh in it though i mean now i've seen uh i don't know if it's as much of a uh culture war talking point as it was a few years ago but like you know beef is being discouraged is even a thing you cook on like cooking channels on on youtube made a point that one of them was epic curious which i i like their videos i i like watching them cook things i've learned a few things about cooking from but they made a point a couple years ago of like all right we're not

doing no meat we're still cooking with meat, but no more beef. It's just beef is so much more. Their stance was it's so much more wasteful and bad for the environment to farm beef. Any other type of meat that they just stopped doing it. And I think others followed suit. And then of course the culture war response from the right wing was,

I'm only eating more beef. You're saying beef's bad well i'm gonna eat more of it yeah i mean the the show was commenting on this but like uh steaks are associated with masculinity in a very silly way where it's like well you're not killing the cow you're not like uh preparing the meats i mean you're not like slicing the the carcass up you're not in the factory you're not doing actual work you're buying a shrink wrap steak from a supermarket and putting it on your nice grill it's like you're not a man you you want to imagine you're not in the factory you're not doing actual work you're buying a shrink wrap steak from a supermarket and putting it on your nice grill it's like you're not a man you you want to imagine you're kevin costner from yellowstone hunting your own uh cow or well i guess slaughtering your own

cow that you own on your ranch but no you you bought it from a store just like all other food in your house but you want to think you're a cowboy for sure eat that eat your steak a roommate of mine his his family were hunters and i lived with him for like one year and i believe like one of those uh for that one season the entire freezer was just deer meat and he was eating deer meat constantly i think that's now why he's a vegan jesus he's like i don't even like this deer meat but it's all free in my freezer uh that's that is a bit much yeah i think uh growing up first time i saw a deer was the carcass of one being dressed in a uh friend of the family's uh front yard oh was it being like bled out into a bucket no i mean it was like literally being like sliced

apart it was a headless deer being uh all right skin off first and now dismember the alarms and legs uh it was uh certainly a strong memory look sweetie that was the same day i watched return of the jedi for the first time it was a big day for me as a wow well you saw a lot that day uh you know also i have as a bobby growing up i had a lot of things tied up in my dad and steak and that my dad would always tell me i was cutting steak the wrong way and he would he would he really got in my head about like i i wanted to cut off you know i guess according to my dad the way a man is supposed to eat steak is cut off piece eat piece cut off piece eat piece i liked cutting like three or three to six pieces off at a time and then eating them in a row and my dad told me

that was wrong and he really got in my head about it there's no wrong way to eat it uh peggy says use all your teeth yes yeah isn't it funny all the ways they think of of uh trying to cheer on a boy eating a giant steak this montage is very long now marie is here uh she's not here because bobby's here her parents took her here and i think marie is upset because her parents took her to a steakhouse yeah she should be pretty put off by it like and uh but yeah the way the way bobby is doing it to like show her or like to he's doing it to piss her off because she's a vegetarian and here he is eating a ridiculous amount of of meat but it's like i don't know this is where i think the show gets slightly too mean to marie because i mean she did break his

heart but i thought in the first two acts they make it pretty clear it's because he imagined a closer relationship than they had by the way she is trying to bring him down and telling him like you're making a fool of yourself bobby like she's she's trying to tear him down and telling him like you're making a fool of yourself bobby like she's she's trying to tear him down i was like well she wasn't like that before like i guess you could try to excuse it as her like well she's also like uh an in-your-face vegetarian who's you know exploring this idea for the first time and being maybe a little too uh aggressive about it and also i guess she is also an immature kid who her reaction to a boy doing something to be mean to her is to try to tear him down back like they're just being mean to each other back

and forth but i did think it made her a little too mean uh that she was the first two acts they were a little more careful in the first two acts you're right about that uh but yes about halfway through it seems like bobby has given up but he stands pauses and unzips his shorts so it's like time for more food his gut is distending and he needs a little more space and i guess like there's one last bite he's got like a wild west stare down with marie uh in this in this scene back and forth yeah yeah and then and he still is being funny it shows that he's got back his sense of humor too you know he said he wasn't going to be a prop comic anymore and now he's decided he is going to be a prop comic again and even marie's parents are into bobby winning which is a funny reveal yeah well of course because i this is also

bobby using the culture against her the like yeah you know everybody's going to root on a boy eating a giant steak uh over their vegetarian daughter who annoys probably they find her annoying uh in for the wrong they are wrong to find her annoying i'm saying uh but bobby's successful he wanders away from the table uh and he's very bloated he bows to the crowd we cut peggy and hank embracing in a very in a very chaste way when they pull away a little kiss yeah it's just a little pick but when they pull away. They do share a little kiss. Yeah, it's just a little peck, but when they pull away from each other, we see Chuck Mangione is eating at a table behind them and

complaining like, hey, you two, I'm trying to eat. So everywhere, even when Peggy and Hank try the most chaste expressions of love, everyone is shutting them down. Is this when so Chuck Mangione, is he already living in the Megalomart now? Is this why he's there? I don't think quite yet.

He can still afford to eat at a nice steakhouse. That's true. He's not like shitting in the aisles and like eating cereal out of boxes. But he hasn't left Arlen just yet. He's still, I guess he can't leave there until he emotionally moves past his near-death experience. He's still in treatment here. But let's hear the finale in our final clip. Well, son, the worst part's over.

And now you'll realize just how silly... Ah! The couch is gone! No! We didn't even get a chance to say goodbye. Hi, Bobby. Oh, hey, Connie. Bobby, are you okay? Me and Marie just broke up.

You're taking it pretty hard. You must have really liked her a lot. Oh, no, no. I just ate a 72-ounce steak dinner in 37 minutes. Oh, when you finish, you want to come over to my house and watch some television? Doesn't have to be television. It's a fun joke that Connie is like, okay with him being sick, because it's for a different reason than she thought.

She's like, oh, okay. And she's not disgusted or turning away she's actually like waiting for him to finish expelling the food and then be like so yeah you want to watch tv like she just wants to hang out with bobby again which is sweet that's it's cute i i also like that hank is about to give a moral to the story that he's like oh my god the couch again i think they realize that hank already did the story of helping somebody younger with a breakup so they're like he doesn't need to do this again so this did unearth one last childhood memory of my teen memory of mine as well i i maybe i think i've told you this story before but just uh for newer listeners i never ate a giant steak but in my 18s i believe i was about 18 or 19

one time i ate five rb sandwiches in front of my friends and five for five i did the five for five and i was like no i think i can do this so i ate it and then friends were like oh my god you ate five do you think you could do 10 and it turned into a series of escalating dares until i accepted like fine i'll try to do 10. The jackass era of friendships? This was in the jackass era, yeah. So I was challenged to do 10. I didn't say I can definitely do 10, but the peer pressure got to me.

We actually went to an Arby's. They wanted to do this, like, and also to make this the jackass era. Somebody had a camera and was filming it. Oh, my God. The footage is probably lost but i hope so jesus christ so those five go kind of fast and so these were regular arby's not beef and cheddar's just a regular arby's sandwich first five go fast next three go really slow i am halfway eight i'm halfway through the ninth and then i just have to tap

out i'm like because they're they're also saying i also can't go to the bathroom it's like you I am halfway through the ninth, and then I just have to tap out. Because they're also saying, I also can't go to the bathroom. It's like, you got to sit here. And I'm just drinking so much water because it is all pure salt. I eventually just have to go like, guys, I can't take another bite. We get out of the restaurant. I think that we can drive back fine. We drive for one minute, and I say, stop the car right now,

and I puke in a parking lot, and it's all out. So I did have – I got to give it to Bobby for he kept it in much longer than I did in a similar situation. And so wait a minute. How long did it take you to recover from that? I'd be, like, bedridden for three days. I think by the next evening i was eating normally but yeah damn it was it was too big i mean they should have taken jackass off the air it did this to us yeah i don't think we would have we wouldn't have tried to film it anyway

if it hadn't been for that i actually i'm now remembering my friend you'll like this my my friend with limited video editing experience then in this is the early aughts edited it with punch out music oh my god and every round every uh sandwich was another round this is going to be on our exclusive like five thousand dollar tier the i'll share you can't disseminate it though It'll be like them when they Screen the day the clown cried We'll just have a private theater I'm looking this up now An Anarby's roast beef sandwich has

Three ounces of roast beef so you ate 27 ounces of roast beef And then probably like I don't know 30 ounces of bread or something like that Yeah yeah I did not have any Any sides with it though but yeah So okay it's good to see that in I didn't even eat half of the beef something like that yeah yeah i did not have any uh any sides with it though but yeah so okay it's good to see that in i didn't even eat half of the beef that amounted to the steak bobby

ate but still that yeah i i want to say i've never had a regular arby's sandwich again after that i don't think i grew up eating a lot of arby's because i grew up in the town where arby's began i look i've had a lot of sandwiches but I've eaten a lot of bad food since then but Arby's sandwiches I think that was a bit much for me so yes that's I have gone through a similar thing like this as Bobby did wow uh yeah and also at the end we're getting uh the sparks of romance between Connie and Bobby that they were kind of feeling their way around in earlier episodes but here it's really beginning it's picking up it's a real project for season three I think absolutely yeah and again we have to

remind people this is when primetime animated shows did not have continuity now all the animated shows have too much continuity and I can't stand it and I don't think I was going to watch Velma and we're talking about this as Velma is just coming on the TV or whatever you want to call it on streaming and I'm like oh this is serialized too like everything can things be episodic again please

yeah it's uh it's isn't it nice that like a new show like smiling friends is episodic yeah yeah i oh what's the big mystery yeah no you you have to blame streaming culture and binging it's that they expect people to watch a whole season in one sitting or multiple seasons in one sitting so they figure like well then you need an overarching narrative i mean we were just talking about how uh me and you about how netflix like fucks things up with mystery science theater for instance and the algorithm tells them you have to have an overarching thing to keep people to watch the next episode to keep it streaming and that like ruins and it has ruined a lot of shows like i i feel like disenchantment for instance would be a lot better show yes if they didn't have to have the netflix mandated uh giant

story arc some of the best episodes of that show were early on when they could do a few episodic ones and then they just they couldn't do it anymore and even at this point in time in 98 we're 98 right now in the show yeah fox is very resistant against you know any continuity in this show because it was like they wanted to sell in this indication it's just like why is luann's hair short here why is bobby dating henry uh bobby dating connie in this episode and not in the other one why is nancy no longer with john redcorn there are all these things that they change throughout the series to make it more syndication friendly and i think that's why that al gene like corrected all the continuity changes in the simpsons just like let's make this a more reviewable friendly show rerunable friendly show yeah it's funny in

both of those cases as we talk about it affecting the art that's just commerce it's like the way oh how is how does the money makers make the most money off of it it affects the show or at least what businessmen think makes the most money is what happens like now we're in the era of every show gets canceled after the two weeks after it debuts nothing is ever renewed canceled or like we made a second season but it's being thrown in the fire uh the the tax code says it's better if you never see this so we're just throwing it away and hey i'm not trying to be cruel here but it's uh interesting to know that i thought i was alone and having all of my work deleted after i did it but now even tv people are having it done movie people it's not just people that write internet articles it's legitimate entertainment that's being deleted uh you know i i guess that also shows that we were just at the forefront of it

and now the bosses of old websites are now the bosses of the media uh conglomerations uh and in charge of the streamers it's it's uh it's fucked up it's a crappy time it really is uh be independent go on patreon if you can uh yeah this episode deserved to win an emmy i wanted to go over the other episodes that could have won the Emmy. Okay. So not last year, but the previous two years, King of the Hill was nominated but did not win. So season one, Square Peg, that's the sex ed episode,

that was nominated, did not win. And then in the second season, Texas City Twister, nominated, did not win. I would not have chosen that one. Maybe I would have chosen the Gary Krasner episode, the Christmas one. Very, very touching and funny, too. Yeah, this is the one that won. I'm looking at the other years here.

One I think really should have won is in 2001, Chasing Bobby was nominated. That's one of my favorite episodes. It's the one where Hank is sad about his truck dying. Yeah, I love it. But it's also about his son. Yes. Hank is sad about his truck dying. Yeah, I love it. But it's also about his son. Yes, as father-son ones with an emotionally stunted father, that one always gets me too. Following that, Bobby Goes Nuts nominated.

Hilarious. That was not the episode to pick, to nominate. I think they're just playing a joke on the Academy, like you're not going to make us win, let's put the most offensive episode, the nut-kicking episode. Following that, they nominated uh death picks cotton where cotton hill dies uh really great episode of the show character death episode also

you think has got a good chance but nope nope did not win and that's the history of the king of the hill not winning emmys that's too bad man it's it's always usually uh it used to just be simpsons and then it becomes simpsons or south park is killing them. But we I mean, we've had literal like friends who make television shows that always lose to the Simpsons as well. It's really too bad. It's not fair. But yes, great episode. And another programming note to remind you next time we are not covering Peggy's headache. We covered that five years ago.

There'll be a link to it in the description of the next episode, which is Pregnant Paws. And we'll see you next month for Pregnant Paws. Thanks a lot. ស្រូវានប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប� Thank you. Well, I don't know, Dale. No, I didn't say a thing. I bet the city just hauled it away. I know, Dale. I know. I miss it, too.

Maybe it's all for the best. You know, we're starting to depend on that couch too much. Yeah, it's probably all for the best.