Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - A Hunka Hunka Burns In Love With Andrew Jupin
Episode Date: April 27, 2022We welcome back Andrew Jupin from the awesome We Hate Movies podcast for a frank discussion of Mr. Burns' sex life! Yes, after some poorly aged Chinese restaurant jokes, Burns gets a girlfriend with s...exy results. Homer is his new wingman to the special guest star, and somehow it all ends in a hostage standoff. Listen now before we all try growing devil beards! Support this podcast and get dozens of bonus episodes by visiting Patreon.com/TalkingSimpsons and becoming a patron! And please follow the new official Twitter, @TalkSimpsonsPod!
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Ahoy, ahoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, the podcast that eases you through times of doubt and sickness. I'm your host, Mr. Hairless America, Bob Mackie. This is
our chronological exploration of The Simpsons, who is here with me today, as always.
Hey, it's Henry Gilbert. I am right now terrified being cornered by two female strippers. Bob Mackie. This is our chronological exploration of The Simpsons, who is here with me today as always.
Hey, it's Andrew Gilbert. I am right now terrified being cornered by two female strippers.
Who do we have on the line?
It is Andrew Jupin from We Hate Movies. Woo!
Hooray! And this week's episode is A Honka Honka Burns in Love.
You are a real winner.
Whew! That fortune really nailed me. And my winning ways.
This week's episode originally aired on December 2nd, 2001.
And as always, Henry will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real world history.
Oh, my God. Oh, boy, Bobby.
After a counting scandal that rocked the world, it is revealed that Enron has officially declared bankruptcy and will lay off 4,000 employees.
The biggest Chapter 11 up until WorldCom two years after that and dwarfed by the Lehman Brothers one in 2008.
So when we were kids, we thought, oh, Enron doesn't get bigger than this in economic scandals.
Like, no, it's's far far dwarfed uh but also smash brothers melee is released for the
gamecube and behind enemy lines can't beat harry potter at the box office so if you were a gamer
back then or in the last 20 years who's super into smash you might still be playing smash brothers
melee on your gamecube refusing to recognize the current last 20 years
of smash brothers games as new installments and you only want to play smash brothers melee
yeah i think they still sell gamecube controllers for did they make them for the switch as well
because they made them for the wii u okay yeah you can just plug in a us there's a usb thing that
you then can plug into your switch stand and then plug GameCube
controllers into that.
Even to this day, playing Smash, the current one, Ultimate, with a GameCube controller
still feels correct to my brain.
I know some other, definitely the more hardcore Smash fans, I think they like to mix it up.
I think I've seen some of the tournament level players still using a GameCube controller i love the gamecube but that controller is insane it's so weird every button is a different
shape it's like it looks like a fisher price toy i love i love that about it i love the hexagonal
ridges of the c-stick you know that it's not just an easy circle. Smash Brothers is a franchise that like I'm so intimidated by.
I mean, I was in Melee in the whole, I was deep into GameCube, hardcore, and I totally fell off with Smash Brothers.
And I want to get back into it.
But every time I look, I mean, talk about we're talking about like feeling old off the air.
I look at these characters and I'm like, I don't know who 70% of you people are. But would you recommend sort of just like a face first diving back in on Switch
with whatever like most recent one is available?
I think Ultimate is, well, as friendly to new players as any could be.
But the Smash Brothers world is very insular.
And I think if you go online, you'll just get your butt kicked.
But I think at the very least ultimate
has every character that's ever been in a smash game plus tons of new ones so you know in some of
the sequels if you had a person you loved in melee they might not have been there only in a couple
rare cases but they will definitely be in ultimate so if you're like oh i used to play as dr mario
then there wasn't dr mario in this last one this This now has Dr. Mario in it, for example,
or the Ice Climbers.
And like 14 Fire Emblem characters.
Well, yes.
There's so much you can complain about with Melee,
or post-Melee.
In Ultimate, it's like so many guys with swords.
And I love playing as four of the guys with swords,
but then there's eight other guys with swords
that are just kind of repetitive. Sword guys are easy to make, right? And the Enron thing, of the guys with swords, but then there's eight other guys with swords that are just kind of repetitive.
Sword guys are easy to make, right?
And the Enron thing, just to comment on that,
it's just like, I feel like my adult life was like,
the champagne smashing against the boat
was like the first big depression of the 2000s,
and there were like three more.
I think we're kind of in one now.
We've all gotten used to living with so much less
that we don't know what our incomes should be or what things should cost anymore.
That Enron just looks so innocent now.
A little bit.
Yeah.
But the Enron guys, like in the documents that came out, like we were shocked then.
They're like, wow, they're just like evil.
They're laughing in an evil way on this phone call about how like, oh, can you believe like
this woman won't be without her power?
She's going to freeze.
Ha ha ha. Like now we're not shocked. They shocked they're like yeah that's how evil these people are like yeah yeah
it's no it's and i mean i guess that in itself is totally unfortunate that the the shock of the
whole thing is just totally dulled and similarly with you know recessions and all of that you'll
see yeah i'll see a headline that's like oh yeah sort of nearing the next you know recession or whatever and i'm like aren't we just still always recessing in one way or another folks
yeah i feel like that's like saying like oh it's the the hottest day on record or whatever like
well that's every summer it's the next hottest day like exactly yeah things just continue getting
worse it will always be hotter like no but the good news is surprised by shit the good
news is we're used to it yes yeah but you can't kill what's already dead and uh yeah that harry
that harry potter movie still ruling the box office by as i think it pretty much is number
one for a lot of the oh one christmas until the lord of the ring shows up at the end of christmas
because it was uh it was a like thanksgiving release
wasn't it yes yeah harry potter was harry potter if i'm remembering right because it was uh that
was one of the first big movie releases i had to work like as a usher at the multiplex i came up in
and boy that was just living hell yeah every weekend was a living hell i almost as much of
a living hell as seeing behind enemy lines in theaters, which I also did. You know, that was like eerie timing because it's like, oh, hey, now this is what war movies are now.
It's like, you know, it's the same.
It's the scary, the white guy against the scary horde of non-white people all coming at you.
Everything's orange all the time.
You know, it's funny, Andrew, you mentioned that the Harry Potter, like my my first job at a multiplex.
I only worked at a movie theater for like two years.
Was that an AMC the next year when when the second Harry Potter film came out a year later?
And yeah, it was Harry. I worked a lot of big days, but I think Harry Potter releases were like the worst ones to work, I think. Oh, those were really bad.
And the only one to date that has beat that, and I don't work for Multiplex anymore.
I'm still in the business exhibition wise.
But the Ron Howard, Jim Carrey Grinch movie was the absolute.
You would walk into the theater after the movie was over and it would be decimated as if people were buying concessions
just to dump it on the floor it was really really bad for weeks on end that movie was unstoppable
and the garbage on the floor was also quite unstoppable wow yeah i you know yeah i i think
i never the worst i can recall is i think it was brother bear but it was like the disney movie
and i think a couple times i went in was like the disney movie okay and i think a couple
times i went in there like feeling that a parent bought popcorn and their child just like oh thanks
for the popcorn mom dump and just put it all on the floor like they didn't eat one one kernel of
popcorn and they wasted that bottom of the movies they turn into animals they turn into total
animals like just a bunch of raccoons out for a night at the movies. It's wild.
You know, I only heard stories of people catching sex acts in theaters.
I never had to stop it as an usher in my time.
I never stopped one.
I just sort of passed by and let them go about their business.
Kind of clear your throat like, hmm.
Someone else is here, mmm.
Now theaters are so empty, I say try it,
you know? No one's gonna find you.
Give it a shot.
Hey, go see a screening of Drive My Car
at like 2pm and start fucking.
I guarantee you no one will find you.
Start with some hand stuff and work your way up.
You'll have three hours to come.
My God, Bob. you start with some hand stuff and work your way you'll have three hours to come my god i was edging through all three hours to drive my car i'm not used to hearing bob be the i've been the dirtier voice it's the we hate movies energy
it's doing it to me and speaking of which my my filth waves are spreading off on both of you i
apologize and speaking of we have movies andrew jubin back on the show welcome back to the show andrew always happy to have you back yes thank you
fellas it's always great to be here talking simpsons literally one of my favorite things
of all time oh thank you yeah we were big fans of wea movies we say it every time i i just listened
to uh back to back your kill bills volume one and two they're great like that oh okay speaking again of like uh
movie theater memories like because that was the only only time i worked in a theater the only
tarantino movie that came out while i was there that did feel special like i was like wow i am
a super film geek who got into it became a video store and movie theater guy because of a love of
tarantino movies and finally i'm here when Tarantino movies. And finally, I'm here when a Tarantino movie is coming out in theaters.
I feel like I'm part of it, man.
Totally.
The back to back of that.
I was in college.
I was only working at the hometown multiplex on breaks and everything.
So I think the second one lined up with my spring break.
That's kind of funny you say that, Henry, because that was my thing, too.
Like him and Kevin Smith, like movie nerd geek shit i was like you're gonna work either at a video store
or at the multiplex and you know one just happened to win out over the other i was not hired at a
hollywood video which felt really great at the time i you know i did both sides of the coin i
did two years at an amc movie theater and then two years at a blockbuster and then two years at a mom and pop video store, which none of those existed.
Well, the AMC theater does still exist.
But it was your path to become Randall.
That is.
Yep.
I didn't I didn't dream of becoming Randall, but I did.
It happened.
Oh, but yeah, I just I guess just really love that Kill Bill one.
It took me back to being a film buff in the theater and when i worked
there uh when volume one came out i will never forget it was the same week as the house of the
dead total dog shit film it was halloween and people people i seriously was telling people
like no this movie's awful like as in customers they be coming and i'd say i see you've got house of the dead tickets i promise you kill bills better you're gonna hate this movie and you know they wouldn't do nobody
listen to me i was told that bodies will hit the floor that's why i'm buying my ticket
uh excuse me we were promised bodies hitting the floor uh i still haven't seen that movie
is that still happy to avoid is that ufa bowl it's a it's an ufable classic yes yeah it was it was the first the first one i was introduced to working in a
movie theater i just knew it is like oh yeah a video game movie and then once i saw i was like
oh my god this is the worst thing i yeah i couldn't i didn't pay for it i watched it with
co-workers but uh but yeah well i guess Andrew, do you recall watching this three months after, almost three months after September 11th in 2001?
So this was, yeah.
So oddly for me, I don't know.
And I've never been able to figure out why.
But for whatever reason, my final year of high school, which is when this aired, I just was not watching New Simpsons.
And then oddly, when I went back, when I went to college, I got back to it for a year and then fell off completely.
So I don't know what it was about that year.
There wasn't any like episode from season 12 that I was like, that's it.
I don't think so.
But yeah, so I didn't watch this one live.
I think like caught it on a rerun at some point like later on down the line
it definitely wasn't like waiting for you know disney plus or like the dvd to come out or
something i saw it at some point but not on the broadcast date wow man i yeah i you know for for
us i think for a lot of people uh 9-11 kind of shook our viewing patterns of simpsons a little
bit that was that was it for me, for sure. Not me.
I was watching this. You know what?
I did like it at the time because
Burns stories around this time weren't
done very often. We talked about it. Mike Scully
didn't use Burns very often. I think in his
four-year run, I can only recall three Burns
episodes, and this was one of them.
There's the Trouble with Trillions, there's the one with the
Loch Ness Monster, and then there's this one that are all
Burns-focused. There might be another another one but even one a season feels like
uh not enough burns for me oh the uh the mansion family that's right yeah right I guess yeah I
guess to me it's more of a burns b plot yeah you're right yeah it's they they move into burns
his house but it doesn't really focus on birds well because like yeah I don't think he's he's
not as into the old timey stuff and burns is kind of you know there's there's bits in this where i'm like boy i wish uh bill and josh
if they were overseeing this there'd be a lot more like specifics old timey specifics i i did watch
this when it was new but i didn't like it all that much i didn't there's there's some bits where i'm
like i don't think homer should say that or whatever but homer says wiener especially i was like that it just left me in a bad taste you know and this is so true
obviously of the movie which you guys uh were kind enough to chat about on we hate movies a
while back like the simpsons and genitalia in general like leave it out leave it out they're
little people with four fingers anyway they're not like you know real
human beings i would just like to imagine they're never talking about genitalia and certainly not
seeing it like that movie but that line to me last night watching it it was like
i don't know about that homer i don't know act two marge just gets plowed oh man yeah this is a
filthy episode that part really slayed me i cut him with the drool running up
the stairs i was worried i was gonna wake my wife it was some scream laughing going on in the house
i mean i think funny stuff in this uh i do feel like the guest star is wasted we'll get to her
later but uh yeah i mean the great guest star great guest star and she's back a few times
playing this character yeah i think uh oh really
yeah yeah she she comes back in season 19 and season 20 yeah and and head for non-speaking
roles too but yeah i think it's also just so weird that like uh i mean i'm not used to this
many holdovers like this is five the season starts with five season 12 production ones like that's
how much they held over.
Over time, it only gets worse where half of a season is like half of the last production season.
Yeah.
You know, I definitely I think the writers strike, you know, seven, I think really hurt that and damaged it or the timing of it.
But yeah, this is like late in the run for Schwarzwalder.
Well, I think we have one Schwarzwalder script after this or two like last is good in the west is coming soon there's like
seven more oh okay yeah so we still got quite a bit to go through but yeah we're in the last
days of swartz welder as well yeah which this feels like swartz welder is doing his thing but
he got rewritten a little too much like i i i don't know there's some bits where i'm like oh
this just feels like a regular sitcom not like a swartz weldery kind of joke there's there's some bits where I'm like, oh, this just feels like a regular sitcom, not like a Schwarzwelder-y kind of joke. There's some in here that do feel like a Schwarzwelder-y joke.
And then other ones that feel like just like a friend script complaining about a girlfriend, you know?
Yeah, I mean, like any time you sort of venture into that like relationship advice area, which is all that this episode is is homer helping burns you know
date and carry them up to bed as uh julia says like yeah it just feels a little too conventional
in that way like what is the wacky sort of simpsons-esque twist about this and there kind of
isn't one i definitely think of wingman comedy stuff as not being a Simpsons thing as being more of like a friends or friends knockoff style thing for sure.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I think Scully didn't use Burns as much because he didn't like doing stuff in the power plant.
And there's the joke in his era.
Do you even have a job anymore, Homer?
I think I obviously don't.
So, yeah, Burns is stuck there.
But, you know, Lenny and Carl, they can be anywhere they want to be.
They could be like at Moe's. They could be bowling with homer but burns is kind of stuck in the planet they don't really go there a lot in this area so i think that's why this is also i
mean burns never remembers homer but there's not even like uh smithers pointing out that's a man
that works for you sir yeah it's like no homer is just some young man that burns runs into in the
street once smithers is gone at the end act one yeah like they
just kind of like we we did the one jealous smithers joke we don't need more i i also think
this episode is one of the like horniest episodes like this this gave a lot of guidelines to online
comic or online artists of like how do you draw like a hot a sexy girl's butt in simpson style well here you go like this
there's maybe hornier episodes but this has the most like drawings of sexy women in uh in any
simpsons episode i think and one last preamble thing too that i found out was that in its first
airing it was dedicated to george harrison because he passed away four days before this aired.
So after they walk up to the sunset talking about beards, it's like in loving memory.
Dedicated to our friend George Harrison.
Yes.
It only did it in the first airing though, but that's usually how they do it.
They do first airing.
They put it, but they don't keep it in the later ones.
Yeah.
I think that's the move.
I mean, especially when you're talking about an episode like this which isn't great and then it's like do you really want this to be dedicated to george
harrison for all eternity like acknowledge that he passed away in your broadcast and then get rid
of that title card yeah it's uh i think that's pretty much their practice since uh i think they
probably started it with with phil hartman I think that was the first episode dedicated to-
Which one was that?
His final appearance.
Okay.
Well, I think, yes, his final appearance
because the show wasn't airing new episodes when he died.
So I think they waited for the remembrance
for his last episode in Bart the Mother.
I want to say that the memorial to Linda McCartney
is still in Trash of the Titans.
Is it still at the end of that one?
I have vague memories of us talking about that.
No, I think it might be, actually.
Because you see a picture of her cartoon self
as she was on the show.
Right, right, man.
They really do it for the Beatles, though.
You wonder, if you were a guest on Simpsons
and you died and then you didn't get one of those,
because they don't do it for everybody,
I'd be offended. Right, yeah. Yeah I was just curious like when you were saying was
it Schwarzwalder didn't like doing episodes in the plant I think it was the showrunner at this
time Mike Scully like he was really leaning into Homer getting new jobs I mean every showrunner
did that but he was like really focused on that so I think that's why we don't see a lot of burns because burns really can't leave the plant unless you give him a girlfriend for an
episode that's they they tried to find a way so was there ever in loving memory of joe c at the
end oh i don't think so see he got screwed uh back then it's like okay phil hartman or someone related to the beatles like either
either george harrison or linda mccartney when uh now now they do it for even just a writer which
they should i like that they do that but like uh the frank mula when he passed away like that's
how we learned frank mula the writer of the valentine's classic like we learned he passed
away because they dedicated an episode to him of the show i mean frankly oh wow not to get too depressing here but when a show is 33 years
old too many people are dying we don't have room for everybody to be remembered so that's depressing
thought and like 1998 it's like oh a guest star died that's tragic but now it's just like every
week it's somebody new uh and uh so this episode starts with uh we got a chalkboard gag
bart was complaining about fun size candy which is a big scam i never liked that as a kid but
uh and then couch gag is a prison break which also you know kind of funny for the funny timing for
the uh style for this episode and then all right this is weird so we have treehouse 12 which starts with them
going to ethnic town yes actually eric siska was joining us on our trip to ethnic town uh then we
we had homer the mo which also starts with uh comment on china and china being like watching
people from their satellite and then here again it's like let's go to chinatown it's like have a
new pitch for your opening act one thing you can't
the third time in a row like act one is like the simpsons go to an ethnic place and also chinese
things like i don't know i'm there's some of this like toys l us that sign gag i'm not a fan yeah
grown i don't like that oh that's really bad and i mean look if you want to have them go to
chinatown i mean i guess that's fine the music which accompanies them there does not need to
exist that was the big yikes moment for me because i think i was looking down for a second
like away from the tv and that audio cue hit and i was like holy god it does feel like in this the
joke is rarely on the Simpsons.
They're just like, everything here is weird and they'll eat anything, won't they?
It just feels like it's all about Chinese people.
You know, I was thinking of it in comparison to like the Simpsons try sushi from a decade
before this one.
And that one there, I'm not saying it's like the most aged perfectly sketch but it certainly is more like
yes the simpsons are judged as weird for the the joke is on the simpsons for not liking sushi and
sushi is actually good and they learn their lesson here it is more like aren't chinese people weird
and the cat the cat knows his bit too i i really don't like that. The Burns line, like not to get too far ahead, but that was like the atomic one.
The Burns joke when he's dealing with the delivery driver.
And it's funny because I mentioned that to the guys just on our group thread.
And Steve said to me, oh, well, and I said, you know, that's not a joke that they would have done like in the early 90s or something.
And Steve said, well, what about like when Krusty, and it wasn't early't early 90s but when crusty is dealing with all like the 90s alt comics and he
has the flying dicky thing and i said yeah but that like yes but that joke is more like look how
dated and shitty crusty is whereas this burns line with him and this delivery guy is like it's just a
thing that burns is doing and that that's
it like that is the quote-unquote joke is him talking like that you're like so like the comparison
i don't think is there between the crusty joke and this one yeah i think i i think too this was
the era of like it's south park it's family guy it's yeah it's just it's the style of the time
of like racism is over so we can do ironic racism jokes which end up just being like no that's just, it's the style of the time of like racism is over so we can do ironic racism jokes, which end up just being like, no, that's just kind of racist.
There's another Chinese thing.
I think it might be in Children of a Lesser Clod.
I forget, but grandpa is saying all the things you can do on your own.
And one of them is befriend a Chinese man.
And the guy says, Mr. Simpson, why did you leave the home?
He's like, but whatever ping pong.
And the guy goes, my name is Craig.
So they're really sticking it to the Chinese. We have that wickham line like lay off the chinese would you lou
or lay off the asians yeah lay off the asians lou you keep pitching pitching asian stuff i i i think
we probably said in the previous one but i do also think like i do believe staff writer at the time
dana gould was applying to adopt a child from China with his wife.
And so I think maybe this is bringing in some of the China baggage into this.
I don't know.
But I was trying to look up to you of like,
so they have a bit about Tibet town is being bullied in Chinatown,
which obviously the Tibet freedom movement was, you know,
the very in thing in the late aughts.
And I mean, it's still, Tibet's still not free,
but we don't really talk about it as much anymore. I guess it's not's not well the beastie boys aren't around to let us know about it well
you know one of them's dead and the others are pretty old you know i get it i but but but but
i did wonder if that episode you know was cut from for as far as i can tell that that joke is still
on the china version of disney plus it uh not not like that other episode that got cut entirely but
uh but yeah it's which one did they cut entirely which one the the one where they visit uh china
to adopt a baby it's it's a season 16 goo goo guy pan that's right goo goo guy i think they
didn't cut this joke because you can't really see what's happening through that fence it's not
visually done very well i wish they would cut into the yard. But I mean, the joke is that Tibetan people are being roughed up as prisoners.
Right.
And then we get a Chinese dragon joke, which comes nine months after on Futurama in the episode Bending in the Wind.
They also do a Chinese New Year dragon joke.
In that one, it's revealed that it's like a giant caterpillar wearing a costume, not a bunch of people.
In this case, it's just a living dragon. Like, costume not a bunch of people in this case it's
just a living dragon that like oh this is actually more fantastical than the futurama joke and when
um when harry sherris says the word frush i'm like i can see why hank azaria is doing all the asian
voices on this show yeah yeah i don't like that and they're also just reusing character models
that's the character model for lord humongous who was in homer the mo okay yeah and so then uh we cut to the chinese restaurant they're
eating at which is bob's big buddha uh which uh it's it's cute enough it is uh reminiscent of
bob's big boy which me and bob we have eaten at the burbank bob's big boy that is featured in heat
if you know the one from from Heat where they're hanging out.
How was the food?
It was adequate tuna melt.
Yes, yeah.
It was totally, totally all right.
I ordered the Big Boy, which was a big burger back then.
Now, not so much.
Not so special.
But really, you're going there for the ambiance to walk by like,
whoa, that's where Val Kilmer and Robert De Niro talked about something.
And and they they have a I don't think they even have a picture.
No, I think there's like one picture.
But like in 1965, the Beatles ate there, too.
So there's the Beatle booth.
That's where the Beatles sat and ate, ate a, you know, a big, fat American food.
And that's why Georgeorge harrison is dead now yeah i wonder if the big boy uh did any sort of dedication when he passed away
they moved his arm to make it salute he dropped the plate and they twisted the wrist around so
but uh he's got a black armband put the little beatlesand on it. Put the little Beatles face on it.
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Go to patreon.com slash TalkingSimpsons today to see it all. uh but so yeah we just get a bunch of like isn't chinese food crazy jokes here which is just like
i don't know i guess if you've never eaten at a chinese restaurant before i suppose there is some
level of culture shock of like oh they they serve this here i wouldn't eat this at a not a non-chinese
restaurant but i don't know by 2001
it yeah it's like people have eaten at chinese restaurants enough like this isn't like 1978
you know the biggest thing i took away from this uh you know movement here is they totally
kind of repeat a joke from itchy and scratchy land because bart's like i'll have the shark
butt with extra butt sauce and you know marge freaks out and then he's like, I'll have the shark butt with extra butt sauce. And, you know, Marge freaks out.
And then he's like, no, it's on the menu.
And that's the same thing when he's ordering whatever it is at the crazy itch in scratchy
land restaurant, baby brains or.
Yes.
Yeah.
The baby guts.
Right.
Baby guts.
Right.
That's veal.
When Marge sees the menu, I was disappointed there weren't more jokes on it.
It goes.
I think that's why it's like half a second because they're like you know we didn't even write extra jokes to this it's just it's just
like above it is like chow mein below it is like you know uh general sal like there's nothing else
to it it's just shark butt right in the middle yeah they could have been a little more creative
with that but and speaking with the track record of the rest of those jokes, I don't know. I mean, maybe it's for the past that that was just left.
Well, and speaking of uncreative, George Takei is one of the most famous Japanese Americans in the world.
What he is not is Chinese.
And as I mean, I looked on his wiki page and like like his parents, neither parent is Chinese.
I don't know if he has any chinese ancestry in there and it really feels like just
what white casting people do in in hollywood back then especially if just like chinese japanese
whatever he can play the chinese waiter like don't just get george in here again like he he had played
the waiter at the sushi restaurant which again like yeah that made more sense because he's he's
hikaru sulu but he's not it just feels weird to me he's playing a
chinese waiter i i don't know yeah yeah he comes back a bunch but never as akira yeah in the show
so he started as akira the sushi waiter but then every time he comes back it's just hank gazaria
doing a sulu voice but it's just inexplicable why he's cast as this character a thankless role i
guess it's good that it's not just you know hank doing another i guess because hank can only do so
many asian voices there's more than one asian character in the scenes like let's just
get george sure sure but man i just don't get it like i why i mean i get it that they're just
it does feel to me that they just feel like asian actors are interchangeable like that's what the
messaging to me is when they cast a japanese american famous the one of the most famous
japanese americans there is it's funny
how the commentary because they recorded it when takei was nor recently out so they're they're
talking about him uh being gay and all that which was interesting like when it was novel now he's
he's been out so long we're kind of bored by like yeah yeah sulu's gay we all know like whoop-dee-doo but they uh doc that they put out uh by uh that is all about him
uh coming out and his activism was pretty good the name of which escapes me but you know i'll
never forget his uh it's okay to be to k in place of it's okay to be gay i don't know i love him
and his husband brad they are fabulous people him and brad are great i like they they tell a funny
story that in matt selman he lives in the same ritzy hollywood neighborhood as as them and that
he'll answer the door in his sulu outfit on halloween and give out candy oh what a sweetheart
and apparently brad is in costume too i wonder if he, you think he goes as Sulu? Sorry, that he goes as Chekhov and they're like kind of a Sulu-Chekhov slash fic together?
I can see that.
Now we're talking.
Who would you slash fic Sulu with?
I guess, you know, Chekhov and him, they're kind of at similar importance levels.
So, I mean, I guess you could see him with, I wouldn't want Sulu with Kirk.
That's, I don't like that.
I'd say him and that lizard monster. The Gorn? You could tame him with, I wouldn't want Sulu with Kirk. That's, I don't like that. I'd say him and that lizard monster.
The Gorn?
You could tame him.
The Gorn?
You could tame the Gorn.
You could tame the Gorn.
Although if he was dominating on Kirk, you know, that would kind of be like ultimate Sulu revenge.
And, you know, Takei just hates him so much.
That's true.
I'd read that story.
If he's topping Kirk, sure.
Okay.
I'm down but uh but yeah then we also get a joke of that you know i i have heard from vegetarian friends like at some
chinese restaurants you can't get vegetarian meals but maybe i'm just spoiled living here
there's always like vegan and vegetarian options at chinese restaurants now like i i'm pretty used
to that and i can just cat noses i'm like yeah please don't do at chinese people feed you cats
at their restaurant jokes yeah i don't like that it's like we're lingering on this a while but it
just shows you how dated this stuff is because like three or almost no four years before this
king of the hill had the episode where khan supernusophone and his family moved to arland
they're the new neighbors the hills have all of these preconceptions about asian people
including the fact that they might eat dogs and cats and a big joke in the episode is hank thinks
they killed ladybird and are serving her and the joke is like the white person has the misconception
yes yeah and the joke's on the white person. Instead, here the joke is, no, the Chinese people are offering you cat noses because they do feed you cats.
Yeah.
Right, right.
I do remember the Hank Hill joke when they move into the neighborhood.
So are you Chinese or Japanese?
We're Laotian.
We're from Laos.
Got it.
So are you Chinese or Japanese?
Like, oh, man. got it so are you chinese or japanese like oh man you know frank for a lot of americans to
imagine asian countries that aren't china or japan is still hard for them it's difficult
but yes it's also you know i feel like i have to just play the jingle of uh of them trying to serve
lisa with is there any way we can enhance your dining experience
by hurting an animal?
That's a real take that Lisa's belief moment there,
which I must play the jingle.
It doesn't get used as much as I thought.
Take that Lisa's beliefs.
Well, I don't want to get on my pescatarian soapbox here.
It's very slippery because it's full of fish.
But I do feel like a lot of people,
especially in America, especially as I was becoming, you you know a not eating most kinds of meat kind of person
of like 15 years ago a lot of people see like if if a food uh item does not have meat in it it's
like a rip-off like well that's that's that's something that has to be included in every meal
like where's the meat hey goober where's the meat where's the meat yeah and i think that's like a
like a notion a lot of people have like if there's not a meat element of your meal, you're being shortchanged in some way.
Not accurate, of course, obviously, yeah.
Yeah, well, you think, why did I go out to dinner if I can't get meat?
I could eat a thing that's not meat right at home.
I pay for the meat.
I could grow this corn.
Yeah, so then they enjoy their meal, and that's where we get our first clip uh
with fortune cookies which again it's like i don't know this feels again like a 1979 joke like
i mean fortune cookies were i mean i think i thought it before watching this but i actually
am critical of fortunes that are not uh that are too like indirect or just like an aphorism or whatever
of like hey i always remember uh look both ways before crossing the street or whatever just like
or sometimes it's just a bunch of numbers like here are your numbers i didn't request this i
want actual predictions i really do want that but actually my biggest laugh in the episode is at the
start of this clip because they just play dan saying a line twice. Like I just give this a listen here.
Fortune cookies.
And now to read my fortune.
Geese can be troublesome.
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Oh, fortune means geese cause problems.
Well, I knew that before I came in here.
A guy outside told me that.
Every house
has a bathroom.
Oh, these fortunes are terrible.
Is there a problem? These
fortunes are terrible. They're supposed
to predict stuff and ease
you through times of doubt and sickness.
Well, with all due respect,
sir, I suppose you could come up with
better fortunes
easy well you will be aroused by a shampoo commercial that's not bad come with me
yeah i just love hearing homer say it twice in a row these fortunes are terrible these fortune
just it's like they just hit uh a sound board i just i love that about it it
definitely has the feel of a jay sherman buy my book yes buy my book this uh this little job for
homer doesn't really pan out though he kind of forgets he has it he's very invested in it for
like the first act and then it's like well he just then a dog steals his gum and it's he spurns
his friend yeah this uh though it's it
does turn into a bit of it's just comedy writers writing about being comedy writers at this point
of like oh that homer homer is having a star is born kind of moment of just like he said these
jokes weren't funny and then he proved he could write a funny joke except replace joke with uh
fortune cookie slips i and then it even just turns into an old writer's
room which uh uh with with boy i didn't see woody allen i'm like oh man this is just a lot of stuff
in here i don't like see it's still a fun voice sure it's like why do the most demented perverts
have the funniest voices like woody allen and bill cosby it's not fair
yeah we need some stand-up citizens that just sound ridiculous you're totally right
and i was thinking about this fortune cookie thing uh maybe it's because we live in the bay
area in berkeley but whenever i get chinese food they don't give me one of these because i think
they know like you don't care about this bullshit but like if i go out for a meal like a chinese
dinner i think it's usually like an orange slice they give you at the end it's never the cookie i
never get the cookie anymore i think it's more of like a buffet thing now
that's interesting because i've noticed recently too my place uh just down here on the block the
takeout place has totally gotten rid of the fortune cookie in the delivery bag but they do
have really delicious um you know faux meat uh replacement options which is nice um but yeah
the fortune cookie i don't know if it's maybe like a supply
chain thing but it's been gone like sometimes since the pandemic they wiped it out and i was
wondering what the deal was there one of those ships in the suez canal is just full of fortune
cookies and it went down well i mean those fortune cookies though are good forever because they're
not made to be eaten like it is like i'm surprised there wasn't a joke about how like most fortune cookies are like you know crappy they they just shatter the second you bite them and
by cut you cut your cheek as as happened to millhouse with that gum you know what you do do
if you're at a chinese buffet you want to get ice cream you crumble that fortune cookie on top buddy
you got a little special treat and you get a fortune. Buffet hack. I also like hearing on the commentary Lance Kramer.
He doesn't have a ton to say, but he talks about how the fortunes are pink in there,
which he at first did not like.
It sounded like he felt that an animator went rogue because he thinks it is too distracting.
But the person who changed it, she took him to their local uh the the chinese
restaurant that the they went to by the office and she's like see the fortunes in here are pink
it's accurate but he he said it taught him the lesson of like in the office don't make things
pink without permission you have to you have to get permission to change something to be pink
which i my first thought if i'm imagining what's inside a cookie
i break i see white paper white paper it's for me i've gotten pink paper not to say i've never
gotten it but i see white paper oh absolutely i've had pink a few times but it's definitely
99.9 of the time it's been white paper also the uh the thing i could not stop thinking about during
this whole fortune cookie sequence is that they top every single one of the jokes in this sequence in the the episode.
I think it's with Mindy Simmons and they go to the restaurant and he looks at the cookie and it's like, you know, oh, you see the guys in the back and it's like we ran out of you'll find happiness with a new love.
OK, just give him one of the stick with your wife cookies. Whatever that joke I'm butchering is.
And it's just so simple and precise and really hysterical.
And in the face of the nine fortune cookie jokes we have in this sequence that just fall flat, almost all of them.
I do like the very Schwarzwaldery idea that these fortunes are hand-typed on the tiny slips.
Yes.
They're not just pre-written phrases
that come out of a big spool or whatever.
People are writing them all individually.
And each restaurant makes them themselves.
They don't order a giant crate of them
that they use for the entire year.
They make them that day.
And also when Woody Allen
junks his writing,
he has to put it in a tiny trash can because it has to be the right size for the paper he's throwing away.
It's smaller paper, so he has to throw it in a small trash can.
I kind of wish these Woody Allen jokes were meaner.
In Scully's years, they had meaner jokes at his expense.
In the Tokyo one, when says like he's doing a commercial
in japan you know feeling that he's demeaning himself he's like man what did i do to deserve
this oh right like that's a good joke like this this seems to be more like oh isn't woody allen
just like a funny guy there's no jokes about his um you know uh public the things that are public
record let's say totally you're sort of waiting for the other shoe to fall there,
especially because of the absolutely great Rainier Wolf Castle.
I'm a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls.
I know.
Which is just another fucking sick burn from, you know, way back before this episode.
It's kind of awkward on the commentary, actually.
I don't know if you noticed that, Bob,
where it sounded like, I think,
Al Jean, especially on The Critic,
and also on Simpsons, but even more on Critic,
he had some of the meanest Woody Allen jokes on there,
totally deserved.
And they were all like Soon-Yi based.
Yes, yeah, or just like,
oh, what a cute girlfriend, Jay,
does she have a daughter?
Right. Jokes like that. But then they jay does she have a daughter like jokes like that but then
they're asking al jean on there of like oh hey you had him on the critic right and he's like we
joked about him on the critic they're like oh why haven't we had willie allen on the show and al
jean's like uh you know and then they even they have to address the very awkward thing that um
julie cavner was one of the people who stuck with him and kept working with him a lot in the 90s.
Unlike some people, mostly didn't.
And then it was that weird Woody Allen resurgent into the aughts.
I think it was like Match Point brought him back.
It started this Europe phase and he could just start being nominated for stuff again.
And then in the 2010s, it came back around.
We're like, wait, what are we doing? We we just forgave him what the fuck's going on here hey we can see rifkin's festival down the street rifkin's also like come on oh man
i got a booking request for that you know like a sales sheet um like hey this is what we're you
know putting out this month would you like to come in with Rifkin's Festival? And I was like, that is a non-starter.
I'm not playing the movie.
Also, he makes a movie every year.
He has watched one of the 30 ones that are better than Rifkin's Festival that are probably very similar.
What new thing does he possibly have to say at this point?
He hasn't said a new thing in a movie
since maybe 1997 so it's not really worth digging in that you know that show difficult people had
such a great woody allen joke about uh the character julie klausner she gets cast in a
woody allen movie or a woody allen amazon show in the show uh and they're just mocking him the
whole time and her character
is a cigarette girl and she's like oh is this a period thing and the producer asked is like
no woody allen still thinks cigarette girls exist this is now she's like oh okay
but uh but yeah i also i i do wonder you know it looks like accurate. I had to look this up. I would have said Mandarin, but the name of the alphabet is Hanzi.
It does look like accurate Chinese lettering on the door there for it.
I don't know if it actually says something in it.
But and yeah, the joke, too, of like I kind of like jokes about writers complaining that like oh you know frowns way better umbrella
than a smile because it's pointed downward that makes it but no the accents i just can't i can't
you know as as sweaty and like almost like laughing e as it is i i really thought the young
me uh joke was inspired sure sure he's he's like kind of great he's like a young me who are you kidding young me was a
compared to this like yeah that it's uh if if a chinese actor had delivered that i might have
really laughed at it now it's uh but you know as seemingly as this episode proves there simply were
no chinese or chinese american actors that could have been hired in 2001 not in los angeles not in
los angeles just nowhere to be found you couldn't
find them if they if they existed they would have been in this for sure yeah but uh but anyway
uh then homer is hired to write fortunes he's writing them at home while also wearing a rice
picker hat which is also very silly and a bit much um i do like lisa having to write dick take dictation on a mandarin typewriter
like that's kind of funny it uh it actually reminded me of like do you guys remember google
uh google japan their 2010 april fool's joke uh was a keyboard of every kanji character
and it was basically like a 700 uh button keyboard that surrounded the guy it was it was pretty funny that's good the uh lisa
joke here is great when he's like are you getting all this down and she's looking at the keyboard
like i don't know and it's a really good yardley smith delivery of the line yeah it's uh you know
the rest of the family is just a party to homer's adventure in this episode but they the little bits
they get are good i like that lisa as usual lisa has to dictate for homer homer cannot type things this is similar
to when they were writing restaurant reviews together as well homer then makes a prediction
about flag day which is uh in june this episode airs in december very very strange timing this
is a summertime adventure and and the preceding episode was the
thanksgiving episode so it's even more silly yeah homer makes a prediction for flag day
which uh well first then he makes a prediction that like you're being robbed up who which you
know that's probably gonna be useful for a poo i thought that would pay off yeah i was waiting for
that to pay off but i do like lenny lenny being excited
with something as vague as you're a real winner and he's like this fortune really nailed me in
my winning ways that's a great line uh and then yeah just homer being like delighted it just turns
homer to a comedy writer who's like people love my funny jokes i'm so great homer i mean they
don't even linger on his job at all after this but homer is
cheating at this fortune writing game because he's writing fortunes for people like he's targeting
them that's true yeah you know i also think that you'll be aroused by a shampoo poo commercial
fortune of homers i think that's a reference to all those like uh herbal essence ads back then
of the all the the orgasming women commercials yeah and i think julie
louis dreyfus was doing those really yeah wow you could see her come on the tv if you wanted to
come on now i'm gonna work in three comes in this episode though bob that really just kind of like
kick something loose in my head i think you're totally right that she did one of those where
everybody's just coming it's fantastic i'm coming to the gym when i wash my hair i mean those
commercials were women moaning in sexual pleasure while they were washing their hair because they
were conflating the word organic with orgasmic and that was the big wink at the audience yeah
which no it's just it's it's you know it's shampoo that smells kind of fruitier that's all
but yeah it's a sex sells baby i think uh you know it's still around that
herbal essence even uh they i remember they even did a commercial where the a guy used it and was
making the same noises and just saying it was their way of saying like it's not just for women
guys like you can get it yourself but oh yeah those commercials worked on me man for a long time
i had the garnier fruit teasructis Herbal Essence.
The blue one, it was like a coconut thing.
It was a massive fan.
For many years, that was my go-to.
You know, I usually go with the head and shoulders hair stuff,
but I like fruit-scented body wash.
That's usually more my jam.
Oh, nice.
But, yes.
I'm a Pantene Pro-V kind of guy.
So then this leads to a first act twist so big that it deserves uh also playing the jingle i bet you didn't see that coming i
forgot about that jingle yes yeah it has well it hasn't happened in a while but this one somehow
homer doing chinese uh fortune cookies leads to burns buying chinese
food and then having a new adventure of his own like this is such a hard turn that has almost
nothing to do with homer at all this could just be this episode could begin with burns eating
chinese food like that's what where the episode could begin but uh but yes burns gets chinese But yes, Burns gets Chinese food in our next clip.
$14.10, 11, 12 cents.
There you go.
You know, sir, tipping is customary.
Oh, me sorry, me no speaky Chinese.
Oh, General Gao, you're a bloodthirsty foe, but your chicken is delectable.
This cookie feels heavy as if there's some paper inside.
Nice job, sir.
That was my thumb.
There seems to be some sort of communique.
It's your fortune, sir.
Capital.
You will find true love on Flag Day.
Why, it's Flag Day today.
True love at last.
Well, it's just you and me here, sir.
No time for jokes, Smithers.
Come along.
We're going womanizing.
Oh, goody.
You know what?
Oh, goody was potential Smithers catchphrase because that's what he says when Burns tells him they'll be buried alive together.
You're right.
Yeah, that's good. But they never made it his thing uh they should have yeah you know smithers misses he doesn't have catchphrases he needs it uh yeah that him breaking his own
thumb while trying to open it that's great i only for the joke the only chinese person they don't
give an extreme accent in this episode too is because the joke only works if he doesn't have
an accent so they just had carl wieder got do the voice which and then that leads to burns being
very racist towards him which hey i do think a rich guy who orders chinese food food would be
very racist to the service worker i think that is accurate at least that's true and they gave smithers uh chopsticks
and burns has a fork so you can tell smithers is more culture i also love the fact that they're
kind of insinuating this may be his first time eating chinese food is he so surprised about the
communique and the cookie it's like your first time your first rodeo here burns and it sounds
like he actually battled general gal and he's like oh i remember battling this guy but you know his chicken's good which uh and uh and on the commentary we get the
answer that like another reason they use carl wietergott i gave him like spare part here there
was because at the time he was like their fill-in guy at table reads like he would uh he would come
to the table reads to read the parts of actors i I would guess mostly Harry Shearer, who wasn't there.
I think I could see them just giving him these one-off lines
that don't really matter.
They just are like, hey, thanks for showing up for the table reads.
We'll give you a line on the show.
It's fun, him just being very flat.
It works for the joke.
But I don't like hearing Burns say Chinese.
That's not a great line.
All the other Burns stuff, though, I mean, he doesn't get to be evil outside of not tipping because he has
to fall in love and change his demeanor entirely yeah but uh i love uh just seeing him again
and him telling smithers they're gonna go out womanizing like and that as usual burns does
not read smithers at all smithers is like hey it's time to finally make my move it's flag day is like i'll quit be serious smithers uh and so we head off to a fancy party that is fitting for like a tv
sketch show like it's such a perfect fancy party full of like you know we talk about how little
he used burns he used this wealthy dowager so much like she appeared so many times in the scully
years saying oh well i never i love her saying
like i've gone five minutes without saying well i never and then burns replies with his own catch
phrase excellent that's so great and uh i i do enjoy this is the second time we've seen uh that
uncle pennybags is real in this universe yes yeah oh i love that i love that so much because it's
just like i mean it's kind of interesting
thinking like it's sort of in the same realm as like the dragon being a real creature joke like
just that fantastical because he's not drawn like a simpsons character he's drawn like you know
uncle pennybags it just looks like i mean you know so if it's a simpsons person looking at that
that's like an alien creature yeah you know he was at that uh money making seminar that's right he's like these
yokels are pure baltic avenue yes that's right because burns is complaining like i've had enough
of this fat cat bashing yeah and that in that one he drives off in like the silver car piece but i
like this better driving off in the railroad engine from like the railroad pieces it makes less sense yeah that uh and i love that again
this is such a silly idea that like burns at first wants to date uh a woman his own age as if
as if it's not entirely a thing that the very rich people of the world who are like mr burns
don't date people who are in their 20s and 30s like they would not date a wealthy
georgia like there's many guys who are mr burns but sumner redstone 100 was a mr burns and he did
not date women over the age of 30 i don't think no maybe they're going for the whole uh i think
this was happening at the time anna nicole smith and her uh let's let's call him a geezer oh yeah
she was dating a geezer maybe they're
partially inspired by that i bet you're right i think you're right what happened did she fuck
that guy to death or uh well he definitely died and she was yeah then she was supposed to get the
inheritance and the other uh kids his his kids took her to court and i believe she lost she did
not get the inheritance and so
if she had gotten the inheritance she probably wouldn't have done those reality shows but and
she'd probably still be alive today actually that's like a i think you're right that's like
a total like straight line between not getting that money going to what was it on e that that
reality show and then unfortunately od i remember i had life that that saturday tv fun
house where they made it her is smurfette and it was like smurfette was living that life of the of
the anna nicole show and the characters in the show would just go like can we just get her help
like this let's stop filming like let's stop i was like no this really was true we we should have we
all should have stopped filming that and just gotten her some help.
But, yeah, you know, I think this is a little bit of the Anna Nicole stuff in here.
Well, like, and had they actually gone into girls, girls, girls place, Burns might have gotten himself an Anna Nicole, you know.
But, yeah, so they head into a place which says girls, girls, girls on the front.
And Burns thinks they might have some luck here
in our next clip.
Damn that Pennybags. Between him
and Scrooge McDuck, all the best
ankle is taken.
Perhaps there's some girls in here.
Great heavens!
It's one of those nude female
fire stations.
I'd always be second place to some kittens stuck in a tree let's go smithers smithers
that could be an outdated stereotype about gay men uh but they're terrified of women
well hey look it's not he's not just terrified of women these are like uh jiggling women thrusting
themselves in his direction they're doing their jobs yes yeah hey they're doing he he should just
be more respectful like thank you ladies but no thanks i i'm good like but yeah i think i think
that's the most meme scene of the whole episode like i maybe in my gay circles i'm seeing it more
than you guys i don't know if you've seen it but i've i have seen that used on twitter when people are being too horny
on maine and somebody will probably like please no more of this i don't want to see your naked
ladies in my feet anymore oh weird i have not noticed that i'll have to keep my eyes peeled
though i don't think i've followed too many horny people on twitter i see that not to imply horniness but like the women represent things
that are like tormenting you sure and like smithers will be labeled me and the women will
be like a war against ukraine and like a pandemic or whatever i don't know sure sure oh i've seen
it used for that too but yeah i guess in in my uh gay spaces i've seen it used by you know gay guys
who like say for example we talked about smash brothers when smash brothers announces a new
character for its newest game and it's like a sexy anime babe then if you're a video gaming guy
you'll see all this fan art of new sexy babes from smash and then somebody will share a picture of like
of smithers going like this is me in the smash community today i even saw i even saw a smash
fan redraw it uh as sakurai the executive producer of the smash game sakurai is smithers and he's
surrounded by these two buxom women who just got added to the game. He's just like, no, please.
But we've said it before.
You don't need to ask twice to get animators to draw sexy.
No, they're very detailed.
Yes.
Yeah.
I have never seen these these kind of like bodily gyrations in a Simpsons cartoon before.
It's great, especially the women surrounding Smith.
This is for Burns.
It's almost like a Mr. Magoo joke. Like, like oh it's a it's a nude female fire station that's great yes
he's like one step away from dancing with a coat rack you know he sees the pole dancing all the
detail like with the ladies animation or whatever like that's why it was a holdover from season 12
they were like we just can't we can't finish it we're still working on the bus they needed a whole summer uh you know one more
retake on this you know please like just we can get this g-string even smaller on them the sensor
will let us do it yeah uh no it's crazy it's again this is why I say there's technically more sex focused.
I'd say the Simpson and Son episode is maybe a heartier episode because everybody in town is having sex. But this is like they drew the sexiest ladies in this episode of Simpsons, I think.
They head out of there.
They decide that it's the worst flag day ever as mo is putting
away his flag as he's humming that's so great just in the background it's like well flag day's over
time to put away that american flag which that's not what people were doing in december 2001 nobody
was putting away those i was gonna say wow we were we were beyond the pale with that man it's now it's
a 365 you hang that fucker out i think the funny thing bob you're talking
about like it's a december episode and flag day is in june and honestly like if you were like hey
andrew um what are you doing for flag day this december i would have been like i don't know what
are you doing for flag day when flag day is if it's not a day off the whole notion of a flag i
that's just something i never uh flags flags, don't step on the flag.
Every day is Flag Day.
Starting on September 12, 2001, every day is Flag Day until we die.
When I looked up Flag Day's actual date and it's the middle of June,
I thought, how dare they make up like have flag day be six months
away from july 4th when it's three weeks before july 4th it's like is this just to get me ready
to celebrate flags like this is your practice for july 4th you really better get your flag
game ready by then like it's it's like the tryout of like hey it's just like how thanksgiving time
to put up your uh christmas decorations now flag I guess, is when you're supposed to start putting up your July 4th decorations.
But yes, this then leads to a real movie meet cute kind of thing here with Burns and Gloria.
Let's hear from her before we talk all about this really great guest star.
Now see here, Flatfoot.
My goodness.
You're beautiful.
Oh, thanks, but I still got to give you the ticket.
Of course you do.
You can lift my wiper any day.
Is it still flag day?
For 12 more seconds, sir.
Miss, would you submit to a wooing by a gentleman caller?
Oh, I'm sorry, but you're really not my
well
okay
she said yes
he'll pick you up at 7
wear a petticoat petticoat
here's a place at ransom
so yeah Julia Louis Dreyus uh right now in 2001 uh post seinfeld
people are trying to figure out what to do with her she's doing some guest roles in places
uh things like curb your enthusiasm she was in a bug's life right after seinfeld ended and right
after this in spring of 2002 she would be on a two-season sitcom. No, it's not The New Adventures of Old Christine.
It's Watching Ellie.
That was her 2002 sitcom.
And when I saw who was in it, I was like, how was this not a hit?
The male counterpart to Julia Louis-Dreyfus is Steve Carell.
Oh, wow.
Man, I've never heard of this show.
The thing with that Watching Ellie that I feel like Wyatt didn't catch on was just the gimmick of what it was which
was and correct me if i'm wrong remembering this but i believe the conceit was like every episode
ran in real time and even to the point where god am i remembering this right there was like a clock
in the corner sometimes and you're just like literally watching it so like a thing where you can see it is every episode is in real time that's a hurdle for storytelling you are correct andrew
that is the premise of this show yeah okay that show in 24 debut in the same fall that's and yes
a clock was shown on the screen in real time that's weird and also also remember this is like
a real a real time for shows with jarens in the title because there was also Judging Amy.
So you had Watching Ellie, Judging Amy.
What do I want to do tonight?
But yeah, after that, in 2005, she would be on The New Adventures of Old Christine, which I've never seen, which is a traditional sitcom.
A mild hit at five seasons, but after that, Veep, which I hear is amazing.
Although I'm afraid to watch it now because I feel like politics has gotten so insane, it has always outlapped satire just a few years after it happened. So I'm afraid to watch it now because I feel like politics has gotten so insane it has always outlapped satire just a few years after it happened.
So I'm afraid to watch it.
Well, yeah, I mean, rightfully so, Bob.
And the thing about that show specifically, which I did watch and I thought it was totally brilliant.
But towards the end of it, I mean, they were racing to not be undone by history or outdone by history rather uh and i think if you just watched it now it would
just be a seven season douche chill because it's like it's just our reality yeah and so yeah i feel
like we need to give it i'm gonna give that show like a good 10 years off the air and then maybe
revisit because the writing is fabulous and the performances are really strong and great and
hearing her cursing with armando iannucci-esque dialogue is just a thing of beauty julia louis
dreyfus curses uh with the best of them but boy i don't want to be anywhere near that material
right now he she she's great i was trying to see like oh i this she is really good with uh kind of a not too greatly
written role but she's just awesome i i wondered how much voice work she did and yeah like bob said
the the bugs life and then she did this and it also like a one-off appearance in hey arnold
uh but after this she didn't do a ton of voice acting until uh she was the mother in onward the
the pixar film that came out right before everything shut down in america it was the mother in Onward, the Pixar film that came out right before everything shut down in America.
It was the last movie I saw in theaters.
Was that the Chris Pratt voiced movie?
Yes, yeah.
She was the mother of Chris Pratt and Tom Holland in it, yeah.
I mean, she's playing the typical, like, yeah, mom, mom voice, like a cartoon movie mom, like, who's worried about her kids.
But she should do more stuff because she's great at it
but but now she's unfortunately been subsumed into the marvel cinematic universe really you
know you don't know they get her too they did you somebody hasn't watched black widow oh great
i didn't know about this yeah i didn't uh i didn't understand that stinger scene henry i'll be
totally honest i saw that in theaters i hung around to the end and was like, all right, don't know what that means.
Well.
But then I watched Hawkeye and it kind of like filled things in a little bit, maybe.
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who are um a little too rough for the avengers that's that's kind of her thing you know what
if everything is coming back just bring back seinfeld it's fine i mean if the jurassic park
people are coming back now there there's no there's no bottom you know that's the thing
seinfeld and larry david they're too rich they don't have to do it
you know like they really uh it it was almost like too real for me to laugh at but i and too
victory lappy but when they did uh i believe it was the 45th anniversary snl special uh they're
in the audience and they're joking about how like oh yeah we were the last guys who get to like make
a billion dollars off of tv back then nobody gets to be as rich as us anymore. Pretty sweet, isn't it? And they're like,
yeah, like it's just them agreeing that it's really awesome to be as rich as they are.
I do want to comment on this character. So number one, great performance, but number two,
a badly written character. And I think they have the same problem they had when they wrote
Helen Hunt onto the show. When they have a beautiful, funny woman, they're like, well,
let's not make her too wacky. And another problem they have is we problem they had when they wrote a Helen Hunt onto the show when they have a beautiful funny woman they're like well let's not make her too wacky and another problem they
have is we notice this with writing when men don't know how to write women they forget to name them
so we don't actually hear her name until the end of the second act right which is a big problem
she should say I'm Gloria nice to meet you or she Byrne should read her that on her badge or
something we don't hear her name until Burns proposes.
Boy, you're right.
That didn't hit me.
Well, because Snake says it so much in the third act,
and I think that's just because they like hearing Snake say Gloria.
But you're right.
They don't say her fucking name.
You introduce a character by getting to know what their name is.
That's insane.
There's no hook to this character outside the fact that she's attracted to the wrong kind of men.
But other than that, she just kind of sets up jokes for other people, which I think is a misuse of Julia Louis-Dreyfus.
Oh, sure.
Also, unless I'm misremembering and just forgetting something later in the episode, and it would be kind of important to the character, don't they just kind of forget that she's also a cop?
Absolutely.
And in fact, on the commentary, they say her original job was going to be a food truck driver so it that doesn't matter either because her being a cop has nothing to do you think that would play into her being in love with a criminal yeah but it's never even mentioned in that scene
like maybe snake and gloria met when she arrested him or something that could have been like a thread
they could have followed i know it's it's insane or like wigum should know who she is when she's
kidnapped like there's not even interaction between her and Wiggum.
Like, yeah, her being a cop is meaningless, which is like, then just have her be a food truck person.
But though that's also funny hearing them on the commentary, they still call, they refer to a food truck as a roach coach.
Yeah.
Whoa.
I had never heard that before.
Yeah.
That was before food trucks became a respectable thing that they are now.
There is in the scene a great visual gag of when Burns is complaining about, oh, that constable's ticketing my car.
He's so shocked.
And they cut and the car is just in the middle of the street.
That's great.
That's good.
Yeah. middle of the street that's great that's good yeah i and i also like the bit or on the commentary
there's a funny bit too of like tom gamill one of the writers on simpsons who wrote on seinfeld
and is known uh julie louis dreyfus i think since she was on snl in the 80s uh he jokes about how
she's married to her old snl uh co-star, Brad is his name.
And they mentioned,
Tom Gamble says every time he sees him at a party,
he goes like, well, the best man won. As in they were both competing over Julia Louis-Dreyfus,
even though there was no competition.
She was only dating this guy, not Tom Gamble.
Hey, that's Brad Hall, creator of Watching Ellie.
Of course, of course.
Oh, look at that.
Whenever in the rare times Julia Dreyfuss appeared on Curb Your Enthusiasm playing herself,
Brad Hall would be on it with her.
I was like, oh yeah, that guy should just be in stuff.
He was a comedy actor.
I mean, I guess, hey, be a successful house husband of a very, very rich and successful
wife, you know, enjoy it.
Not to linger too long
on the seinfeld thing but she definitely escaped the quote-unquote seinfeld curse which is what
happens to anyone when you're associated with a character like jason alexander and michael richards
they're they're rich beyond belief they never need to work again but they struggled like jason
alexander had two more sitcoms i think so did michael richards uh but you know struggles after
that yes that he's very sorry for and j Seinfeld doesn't need to ever, like, do anything again.
But the creative things he's made were like the Marriage Ref, Bee Movie.
And now he's making a movie about the creation of Pop-Tarts.
Yep.
Yeah, that's right.
Larry David should step in.
Breaking news for me right now.
Holy crap.
What is that?
A Pop-Tart biopic?
It's like a biopic of the creator of Pop-Tarts or something.
Yes.
Yeah. It's like a biopic of the creator of Pop-Tarts or something? Yes, yeah.
Wow.
When that news broke, I saw people pointing out like,
well, this pretty much seals that Larry David was the creative one of the two.
If you're going to say who's the better.
Yeah, no, that Pop-Tart thing.
Well, I mean, too, is like his, you know,
the coffee and cars with comedians like i don't consider that a show
yes it's just showing off his car collection like he's once oh yeah and then being like very weird
to service people yes yeah it's very very strange one same with like the marriage ref is just born
out of like i had a bad argument why wife and i wish somebody was there to tell her she's wrong
i need a marriage
ref here i wondered how much of that show was him versus tom papa because like tom papa was
all i mean he was like the host of it creative credit i think too and it's sort of like how do
we get people to watch this uh jerry do you want to put your name on this and come hang out tom
papa is just to me tom papa is store brand Jim Gaffigan you want the real thing
you know and yes I did write off his entire career I'm sorry you know you know in Seinfeld
and the marriage ref too I remember that at the time Seinfeld was one of the few guys siding with
Leno over Conan in that and he was just like hey man you know Conan the the ratings aren't there
you gotta stick with it and people were pointing out like yeah the marriage ref is a big success that is not just being propped up by mbc jerry like
it's just a meritocracy for you like again it's like the marriage ref was doing way worse than
conan's tonight show but uh you know now they're all very rich so who cares but but yeah julie
lee funny you said the thing about oh no i don't want to keep us on Seinfeld anymore.
No, no, okay.
But yes, I also like Smithers.
Smithers just knows like, well, if you're going on a date with Burns, you have to wear a petticoat.
He expects that.
That's what a woman does.
We know the person who rents it.
Here, here's the note.
That's good.
That prepares women for those dates. And the director pointed out on the commentary that they had to basically change Burns' character design
because he has the sloping, angry brow that creates the angry eyes.
But when he's in love, they have to get rid of that.
Right, yeah.
To make him look happier.
No more scowl or glower.
None of his glower power is there for it.
Now, I really like the animation of him dancing off excitedly it's very
not burns but it's well done animation uh they they mentioned this on there's a couple of good
animation bits of him dancing yeah i think there's one later where he's dancing like a peanuts
character yeah he's going home to alert tarantula town and president clinton that he's in love again
whoop-de-doo yeah so that's i guess that's another thing of like once the show's been on this long
you just compare it to other episodes that are this like you said this is very similar to
moe daytelling hunt episode uh in that in fact that even he meets her at night after giving up
on a bunch of failed dates very similar to how moe met her as well. This also is like, well, we've seen Burns fall in love, too, except with Marge's mother in a better episode, Lady Bouvier's Lover.
And also Marge, and Marge gets the job.
Oh, also that.
That's where the whoop-de-doo thing came from, I thought.
Yeah, you're correct.
And then they mention on the commentary, too, that they often feel it is forced that they have to cut back to the family going like, well, I'm glad Burns has his father in love.
You know, you forget that this is the Simpsons if you don't cut to them.
But it's really kind of useless just having them say like, oh, Burns has a date.
How good.
But Marge forcing things together like that's kind of funny.
But also they did it better in the fear of flying episode when she's going to have the cat and dog get married because they've been living in sin pairing maggie with a cactus is a is a health risk but i like that she knocks
it over yeah that's you shouldn't put a baby next to a cactus it also feels like a slight
take that lisa's beliefs when lisa says some people enjoy being alone and marge has to be like
no no and so burns is on a date he's wearing the same casual wear we saw in the old man and the
lisa we find out that he's he knew calvin coolidge calvin coolidge has been dead since 1933 just to
give you a sign of how old burns is though i gotta think like really has burns never dated anyone
with natural hair and teeth before like he only dates elderly people that he only remembers those dates oh all right okay you've
you've got me there totally uh but otherwise he's just like a weird granny shagger when he
you do you mr burns uh well that's also you know this happens later but i'm with snake i think it's
gross that you would have sex with mr burns like you should be like
you i'm you know i don't it's not right to make judgments all the time on people's you know dating
tastes and everything but seriously fuck it fuck a 70 year old man not a 104 year old one jesus i
like that once again his actual age is stated just to let you know that's great i'm really glad she he has like 70
years on gloria a lot of a lot of the scully era ones don't say the official number but this one
like no we it feels like they looked it up in the in the character index like no burns is 104 we've
been saying it for like five seasons now he's 104 but uh but yes Burns is on a date.
You're a nice guy, Monty. You're always laughing and tenting your fingers. I like that.
Excellent. And you're so upbeat.
You think everything's excellent.
I really feel safe with you. It's like going out with my brother.
Yes, it's going great.
So, what are you into?
In-to?
Yeah, like, what's a fun day for a 104-year-old?
Oh, I enjoy all the popular youth trends,
like piloting motor coaches and collecting dog waste.
Then he winks at her so he's looking
at he's looking around at things to get ideas and one of them is a guy picking up dog shit
oh that's great you actually you don't normally see dog shit on a simpsons episode but you see
it for like five frames here to pick it up but i i love burn saying like it's going great like that
that gave me a good chuckle it did and by the way this
is bob mackie's nrbq watch i got an alert for all of you out there so uh mike scully as we know nrbq
is his favorite band he works them into as many episodes as he can there are two appearances
in this episode one is about one second of music we hear when gloria is dropping off mr burns and
it's uh the song everybody Everybody Thinks I'm Crazy
from their 1994 album,
Message for the Mess Age.
We'll hear them again in a montage later.
But yeah, Mike Scully's making sure
his friends get paid.
I can't, one second of that song
and like, why not it just be the song
that's going to be in the montage later?
Why must he give NRBQ another pay?
I feel like there had to be some kickback scheme here
going with nrbq he wants to get these guys paid and you know what this is not on the simpsons
wiki we're finding this out for the first time yeah this is not listed in the list of nrbq songs
we found some other ones too i think there's like 11 times he's used this band in his four seasons
yeah bob you are the chief investigative journalist on this nrbq thing i'm gonna find the
link i never because even on the like uh soundtrack if you there's specific websites for like here's
every song that's in this episode of a tv show and they list the obvious one that's on the montage
but this one second of a song that obviously nobody other than mike scully has heard of by
nrbq nobody recognizes it and lists it on the thing.
Like you have to just hear the lyric and then assume it's NRBQ and then search NRBQ.
Everybody thinks I'm crazy.
Oh, that is a song.
There it is.
Unless they are charging him like 5,000 a song or something.
I just don't understand why they're used this much other than just mike scully loves these guys but i i do at least like that you see gloria's reasoning is oh she misreads everything
about burns and thinks him tending his fingers and saying excellent is being endlessly positive
like gloria has to be really stupid and i wish they would have made her uh clearly a sicko like
she's into all this weird stuff and maybe that turns burns off or something there needs to be more to her and it's weird that she comes back when she's
such a nothing character you know as the show as the show goes on you know i feel it's like oh let's
kind of keep them in the rotation in case there's like you know 10 years from now a gloria episode
or something like that you know just that notion of like you know now we're doing burns uh
you know episodes more but like there weren't burn centric episodes earlier as much you know
so like you got to keep that roster uh you know stuffed and who knows when someone's gonna need
a glorious centric episode i i think in season 19 and 20 when they brought her back i think it
really is they decided snake needed a nagging wife they're like you know what snake's not we're we're entering nagging wife zone of simpsons here which is not
not everybody's favorite zone not really there uh yes like i mean there's there's it in the third
act but it's just this feeling of like my wife wants too much why does she want me to go out
all the time i wish she'd shut up i do like burns
naming old things you would do on a date like grousing which i believe is hunting hunting grouse
specifically and her say uh singing while playing the clavichord that's great which you know that
reminded me of like uh uh andrew have you seen The Power of the Dog yet? Yep. Oh, yeah.
I love like the old timey feel of it that they're just like, well, yeah, we bought the equivalent of a weave sports here.
We bought a piano and you're going to play the piano and entertain for the governor.
Like the governor's here, sing and play the piano.
Totally.
Someone has traveled miles to hear you play a piano as the entertainment uh before dinner or
after yeah absolutely and it was like anticipated too you know like holy shit she's gonna do what
come on play the piano like yeah that it's not it's like you're about to show somebody a youtube
video that's really cool i love that i love the power of the dog captures that of like well you
know they don't have record players yet.
What the fuck are they going to do?
Like, we bought a piano and you're the wife.
Play and sing.
Come on.
The governor's waiting.
Get to it.
Totally.
And it's like, you know, when she, you know, it's not a particular spoiler, but like when she can't bring herself to play, then it's like, well, the entertainment's done.
So I guess now the night is completely over. We're just going to go home now. Yeah. Well, you know, it's like well the entertainment's done so i guess now the night is completely over
we're just gonna go home now yeah well you know it's a it's a seven hour drive back so we're just
gonna head out here and see you later oh well yeah that's uh that movie if you want to see
somebody playing the piano and singing you'll see that in power the dog but that's a good movie
that's good i well the power of the dog in this episode is that he's he enjoys
gum oh yeah and that's his power a dog stole gum that is such a because obviously there is no reason
for homer to enter this story here and i i wanted for like when i first saw this i thought oh is the
episode going to be like homer uh is now just a fortune cookie writer like no absolutely not he
chases this dog out of that plot yes yeah and into burns
his plot for no other reason he's in burns his neighborhood then he's chasing a dog that stole
his gum like it's so ridiculous that that's perfectly unnatural to get homer into this story
and uh and then burns then calls him up there's one of my young chums like yeah it's yeah like
they they also forget with burns sometimes to get smithers in on the
act and that's what happened in the loch ness episode it should have been like that's homer
simpson sir he's one of your blanks from sector 7g and he's like oh i don't care who he is he's
my new best friend or whatever i at least acknowledge that smithers knows who this is
you know also playing to your point bob about them making gloria so stupid and like homer
comes up to him and like literally refers to him as Mr. Burns.
And it's like, well, if you were truly good friends
with this person, why are you addressing him as Mr. Burns?
And you know what?
There could have been some comedy of Smithers trying,
there could have been more comedy
of Smithers trying to be a wingman and failing
because he doesn't want Burns to succeed.
And also he's not a rowdy, youthful, straight guy like Homer is portrayed in this episode.
But yes, Homer becomes a wingman in a very for-its-time moment here.
It's not important how old you are on parchment.
It's how old you feel in the humors.
I'm sorry, Monty.
Stop that dog!
It has my gum!
Look, there's one of my young chums now. You there!
Yes, Mr. Burns?
Tell my young sweetheart here of our youthful exploits.
Um...
Play along, Chubsy. There's a pie in it for you.
Oh, yeah! Monty's a wild man!
Yeah! Whoa!
He ran his own casino, stole the Loch Ness Monster, got shot by a baby, and blotted out the sun.
Wow.
That was you?
So, should I pick you up a date?
Well...
Come on.
He's a total player.
Okay.
Stop kicking my door.
Well done, young man. Your youthful trendiness will come in handy throughout the coding process
because these days you where did you get that pie window show
some good old lady argle bargle that's great yeah i i love that burns is about to describe
the plot of the episode well you'll be, you'll be, because these days, and they just, it gets interrupted by
Homer eating pie.
That's so good.
So at this point, Homer, his entire like a Burns helping gig has been paid for in full.
There's no reason why Homer should be hanging out with Burns.
There's nothing hanging over his head.
He's just always helping him now.
That one pie was so delicious.
There's no payment.
He's just doing it for free i there's
some good stuff in here of like i like homer trying to bro out with burns and it just smashes
burns to the ground like he can't get take a like slug in the arm and uh and also that that gloria
despite living in springfield she needs to be told like oh remember all that crazy stuff that
happened here well that was it like you're going like wow that was you like you'd remember he ran the that he had the loch ness monster also that homer says shot by a baby not
even i think i like to think homer forgot that it was his baby that shot burner yeah well it's sort
of like that running gag of him constantly forgetting that maggie exists anyway in one
way or another so it sort of like played into that oh baby and uh also i love homer
like kicking her door it's like he's kicking her shin except he's kicking her door and it's like
messing it up homer uh decides he's gonna be burns his wingman and again in a very like uh single guy
sitcom kind of style and i will say you know if your partner uncharacteristically buys new
underwear for themselves you should suspect them of cheating.
You know what?
Like, hey, who are you getting dressed up for?
What's going on here?
Or they listened to podcasts and found an offer code.
That's why they got that new one.
How else will I wick away my sweats?
It's true.
It's not going to wick away itself.
And nothing's wicking away my sweat these days.
I mean, doesn homer look weird
wearing full boxers like he just he should always be wearing like painted on very tight
well yeah briefs yeah it's like just a texture on his body i do love the way they draw the uh
back to his regular underwear and just like crumbling and hanging on by a thread and that
that line was another scream laugh for me if these could stop joan collins herself oh yeah
but these are some dusty dusty jokes the joan collins joke followed by a trip to the disco
yes that's great i i love the datedness and also you know in the uh tale of two cities episode they
also talked all about joan collins like that for homer and all the other guys there they seem to think jones collins is
like joan collins is the sexiest or horniest lady around they say they're giving us the old joan
joan collins special also you know the scully years he really loved homer's disgusting underwear
like in natural born kissers hom Homer's underwear is discovered by a dog
and it scars him so much he runs away.
They use Homer's giant underwear as a false flag
in the Capture the Flag game.
Right.
I think in Children of a Lesser Claw,
they show the video of Homer drunk under the Christmas tree.
Oh, yes.
And the dog comes up and sniffs his ass and like runs away.
Soiled underwear there too yes it's Homer's underwear got increasingly more disgusting in the Scully years yeah not not
that it was great underwear before but uh and so yes uh they head to the disco a very dated disco
it's the Stu's disco it's the second appearance of Stu's disco I kept thinking it's the first one
but it's the second uh and that if you want to see that sign in real life go to universal studios hollywood
you can't go inside stew's disco but they do recreate the neon sign pretty well there it's
it's really interesting and that's cool the stuff the front says closed until disco comes back in style that's uh it's really great you know
universal hollywood they're so close to being like the perfect simpsons ride destination but
little bits like that of like you know what we're this neon sign joke we can just build that neon
sign and have it go on and off in in the two. And as Al Jean said, when they opened that place up,
they're like, it's so crazy to see a joke you came up with in five minutes
be a giant display that you can just walk by now in a theme park.
People had to build it.
Yes.
It was so weird because that's a, it's tough because it's a good sign gag.
And I, you know, I miss the good sign gags.
But at the same time, it's that thing that i do struggle
with with as the show goes on like i love that disco stew was just some weirdo that would turn
up here and there like at the garage sale or whatever and didn't know like he possibly runs
this business like i don't give a shit like stop spelling out like making lies for all these people
similarly like i was kind of playing around with some later episodes just for fun
because I do check back in every now and again.
And, you know, I went to a couple of season 32 episodes,
which was truly mind blowing for a lot of reasons.
But just learning things like comic book guys
got a wife and a child and like,
and that's what I was sort of touching on earlier was like,
so now we can have comic book guy episodes.
Like who gives a shit?
It's just, I can't get down for those decisions.
I feel like there has not yet been a Disco Stu focused episode.
Not a full one yet.
There's been like three or four comic book guy episodes at this point.
They love comic book guy now.
But no, I'm with you, Andrew, that just even giving him like a place of business,
like Disco Stu seems like such a fuck up that he
could not own a business like he wouldn't own a nightclub yeah he has no bookkeeping skills there's
no way yeah but as uh we go into the club burns is dancing like a peanuts character which is kind
of random but uh it's uh though i like him saying that, like when she says you can really shake it. And he's like, oh, yes, that's totally voluntary.
And man, all the ladies in their nightclub looks, they are they are sexy.
Meanwhile, they draw Mr. Burns like he's Mr. Furley from Three's Company.
He's got a leisure suit and a medallion.
It's real easy comedy, but you don't see these jokes anymore.
Yes. Yeah.
You know, I prefer these jokes with kirk van houten
and his laser shooting suit and medallion uh that was a good design for kirk absolutely but uh but
yeah burns uh he's he's on the date with homer at this uh trendy club well it's going pretty well
actually i can't when she all right i'll just play this clip here because again i'm like where
is the turn in glory's opinion on Burns here?
I just don't really track it.
Dret, I wish that song were longer.
I've got to admit, you can really shake it.
Oh, yes, it's totally voluntary.
So, you guys come here all the time?
Oh, constantly.
When we're not being kicked out for our rowdy, youthful behavior.
Eh, Pally?
Yep.
No one's rowdier or more youthful than Old Man Burns.
You mean Young Man Burns.
Put my hand on her knee.
Yes, Mr. Burns. I i said her and i said me oh sorry
so so homer put burns his hand on his penis i love that that joke could be worth the entire
episode because you have to think about it for a second you're like wait him oh okay yeah and like
you can't really i mean they give enough indication in the animation what's happening, but yeah.
Homer put Burns's hand on his penis.
It is, I think, the best joke of the episode.
And it's a weird, like, that was a line that, you know, in my social circle, we would just
toss out, you know.
And seeing it here, I was like, oh, holy shit.
This is where this one is from. Because my constant rewatching really stops around 11 maybe.
Generally 10, but sometimes I'll dabble in 11.
And it was just one of those eye-opening like, ah, that's why we said that so much.
I also love Homer's bad wingman line of like, no one is rowdier or more youthful than old man Burns.
But okay.
But then Gloria makes the turn.
She's like, she is really like into him.
He's like, you mean young man Burns?
And like rubs up on him.
Like, wait, what happened here?
Why?
Why is Gloria into him? Just because of what Homer just said?
Like, I don't understand.
Again, they need to make Gloria a sicko or perhaps like a third act twist could be like
she's trying, she wants to kill Burns and take his money or something.
Exactly.
Something's going.
But I mean, like something she needs to be more defined because she's she's stupid and she is whatever the plot needs her to do.
Basically, I don't understand this bit of like they just make it about Burns's age.
He is extremely rich and a woman.
I he could find a woman who would want to date an extremely rich person
that's i mean i think they i think that those women exist you know but but here it's just time
why does she want to have sex with him i just don't get it i mean he'd like even if he is seems
more youthful around homer who would have sex with mr burns i just don't understand it she must have brain damage
or something i don't understand it uh but uh so the episode on the dvd there's only one deleted
scene uh and it i would have figured because that i would have figured the deleted scenes would have
been in act three because lisa and marge show up for no reason bart shows up to deliver one line
yeah i'm here now but but no the only
deleted scene is actually in the club and i kind of wish they'd have kept it just because it was
current for the time it's about jello shots it's a joke about then current jello shots so basically
they order jello shots for the table uh and homer's excited about it hey i love jello shot
you know i love sweet alcohol bob i
love it but too much work just drink just drink alcohol uh but come on it's you can bring out a
whole tray of them and you're the life of the party but but so gloria and homer shoot him easy
burns though it is a cube of jello and he puts it in his mouth and the cube is too pointy for him and
he has to spit it out.
He's like, oh, too sharp.
I like that joke.
I like any age-based joke for Burns.
Yeah.
And that Jell-O is too crusty or too sharp for him.
I like that bit there.
They then have Homer carrying them up to the bedroom.
It's a fun little zoom out on them.
I do kind of wish they had, you know,
Rudolph Valentino, I've heard of him.
Like, I almost feel like it should be a deeper cut
than, like, the man who's standing and walking, you know?
That'd be Rory Calhoun.
That's somebody I've never heard of
who I have to Google.
Rudolph Valentino, it's almost just too famous for an old man Burns reference.
That's the thing, right?
And as the show goes on, that was the thing that kind of turned me off from a lot of the more recent stuff.
It's like it gets more accessible.
And I always appreciated, you know, knowing full well that I was watching shit where it was like, I have no clue what that is. And that is and you know sure then the internet came along and you can look stuff up if you want
to but like it was just fun not being in on everything but knowing that that's like intentional
and you're totally right like yeah valentino one of the fucking you know biggest stars of that time
like people will know that name even if you haven't seen any of his films and i feel like that's just
like you know making it more making the show more accessible in a way that i just did not need to ever become
i prefer hearing burns mention the ritz brothers again like somebody you've never heard of or
whatever like yeah i'm too distracted by the fact that like burns fucks now all right let's talk
about this i well first off like i like on commentary, they say that they had a lot of fun in the writer's room
saying that when they get to this scene,
they would write a scene where Homer takes care of business
for Burns in the bedroom as well.
That would make him too unlikable.
Yeah, but in this case,
they basically do a Viagra joke without Viagra.
It makes total sense that Burns would have some old man pheromone in place of Viagra joke without Viagra. And I almost, it makes total sense that Burns would have like some old man pheromone in
place of Viagra.
I kind of wish Homer would do a joke of like, you could just get a Viagra prescription,
you know, Mr. Burns, you don't have to do animal pheromones anymore.
But, but yeah, okay.
I mean, Mr. Burns, no matter how much extra stamina he's got, mean one he has a mockable genitalia but hey
you know you can make up for that with other things in the bedroom i'm not saying but but
like no matter how much stamina he's given like what can he do really with his limited energy and
brittle bones i mean they're like no cowgirl position happening in this bedroom is what i'm
saying here, guys.
Well, I'm wondering, Henry, because you sort of inspired a thought in my sick skull that, you know, when they were joking about the notion of Homer helping out in the bedroom, I instantly pictured.
I don't know if there's an official name for it, but I've seen folks talk about it.
We've joked about it on we hate movies too the mormon um soaking thing combined combined with the third party bed jumping yes so i'm picturing homer could just be jumping you know to help mr burns move the
mattress or something oh my god man i i mean this was the style of the time we were in the gross out
comedy age in 2001 but i don't like the style of the time we were in the gross out comedy age in 2001 but
i don't like the idea of mr burns entering this young woman just the i well it's truly disturbing
one is again as we know about his mockable genitalia size like he's getting one inch in
there at most like you know i not like this episode is disgusting sorry not to get too gross
here i that soaking thing too i had not uh that's the
craziest shit that like that yeah yeah but my last thing on this google it listeners if you're
gonna go this far with mr burns and you're gonna put this in our heads we need to see like the
afterglow of burns and gloria like what's going on what has sex done to mr burns yeah for rob
that that joke you put it in our heads what you put in our heads is much worse than what you could have put on the screen yeah i would rather see them post-coital yeah i so yeah and then uh they have
a great joke that homer sees burns in inject himself with stuff and then homer picks up a
used needle and puts it in his arm which is so funny that apparently the the sensor would not
allow them to show homer literally inject himself so that like cuts right
before it would go into his veins which uh i think it's a slightly family guy joke that the
whole family hears homer fuck but the hard cut to homer like drooling and running marge up the
staircase together and that yeah that they that they had a very intense love making session after that like
even the even the widowed flanders the his oh that's wow great wow yeah wow like yeah that
homer oh homer really took it to the hoop that night mod is not there to help him fish homer's
pants out of the tree that's true yes i yes. I wonder, yeah, you know what?
If we could ask Marge, like, okay, Marge,
which was a better night,
when you had the grandpa's tonic sex
or the pocket fox aphrodisiac sex?
Which was a better laying pipe session, Marge?
I wonder.
I feel like the grandpa tonic was like,
it was a powerful session,
but there was also like a lot of love and care given.
This Fox pheromone thing, it is just straight fucking, no talking, all business.
You know, back to power, strap yourself in and feel the G's.
Feel the G's.
The word railed comes to mind.
All right.
We're having a lot of fun today.
You know, I also, I don't like the idea of,
I don't like that Bart and Lisa heard Marge and Homer have loud sex.
That disturbs me.
I don't like that.
Let's cut to Maggie with pacifiers in her ears.
Sure, yeah.
Well, Henry, if you experience that,
it is quite a fucking horrifying thing to live through
i'll leave it at that uh i've well i i lived i lived in an apartment complex with thin walls
and i did have to hear it on like three occasions i did not like hearing neighbors have sex
especially especially when i was in a bit of a dry spell it made it made it even less wanted to hear
uh well mom and dad are moving furniture again what's going on up there uh so yes we then
cut to uh the afterglow we see of burns is that he's just happy at the plant the next day and uh
carl says watch me take advantage of his good mood and he gets fired instantly clean out your
desk you're gone well i had a good run and then more nrbq motherfucking nrbq it's the song i don't have if i don't have you from
their 1988 album you gotta be loose you can put together a great assist compilation based on
what's on the simpsons i know of their catalog it's like mike scully made you a mixtape the uh
via his four years of running the simpsons i believe it's the last one i don't think there's
in blunder years i don't think there's an NRBQ song. So I think this might be our farewell to the band NRBQ at long last.
I think this there's some really good animation in this, especially like what a great reveal
that you see Burns and Gloria in the lady in the tramp shot.
And then the face turn on Burns to reveal the straw taped to his face so
that apparently burns is so aged he couldn't even eat spaghetti like that would kill him and so
homer is eating it for him uh and glory has to overlook people no solid foods you know glory
has to overlook a lot to fall in love with burns like why is there a tube taped to your face honey
and again like but i i just i mean how could
it be fun to have sex with him why would you want to do that more than once i don't understand
gloria is just in a normal relationship with him where they have sex regularly this guy maybe maybe
she wants to get homer in on it and he's not taking the hint uh maybe she keeps saying like
burn could you just ask homer to to join us and burns just doesn't
get it i could see that go he doesn't know what the term into means he wouldn't know what a menage
a trois means as well which we all learned from uh the seinfeld episode as we all but that's right
uh but yes i also like doing this montage burns dies dies during it. I do like that. Bober notices he's dead and he has to shock him back to life,
which that's why later when he says, I could be dead again soon,
that happened in the montage.
He's like, yeah, I was dead two minutes earlier in this episode,
so I could die again.
I forgot about that.
And, you know, guys, Mike Scully, he wrote the Pin Pals episode,
so of course he's taking it back to the bowling alley.
He loves that bowling alley.
And Burns loves bowling, as we learned.
You can't skip that one of these times.
But yes, as they're going bowling, Burns makes his move.
You're going to ask her to marry you?
Isn't it wonderful?
I'm head over heels in love.
Are you sure you want to do this so fast?
Yes, my biological clock is ticking.
I could be dead again soon.
Wait, my dear.
I think you'll find that red ball more engaging.
Hmm?
Oh!
Monty, It's beautiful
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god
Gloria, say you'll marry me
Oh Montgomery
Of course I'll marry you
Oh spectacular
Now we must celebrate
I'll get some champignona spectacular. Now we must celebrate.
I'll get some champignona.
This is the happiest day of my life.
Nothing could spoil it.
Absolutely nothing.
Dum-de-dum-dum-dum.
Okay.
Gun.
Check.
Dollar sign bag.
Check.
Power bar.
Check.
All right.
Let's rob this bowling alley okay whatever that was uh something that was off of his checklist yeah what's a rob also gloria we
heard her name for the first time 14 minutes in it's so funny i also i don't know like what is
julia what's her dreyfus's direction when she says,
of course I'll marry you.
Like, is she trying to sound like Burns?
Like, I don't understand that delivery.
Like, I guess it's supposed to be infatuated, but I know she could do a more natural delivery. So I guess earlier she said excellent, like Burns says excellent.
So maybe it's just, she's taking on his affectations but it's just
hearing it isolated there for a second i was like wait why does she say it like that it sounds like
mocking but she the character means it yeah she does want to marry him it's kind of weird because
hearing all of these lines of hers in isolation because i was kind of thinking it last night
and then i was like no no you're wrong but listening to them now i don't know if there
was something she was going for this whole time i mean it just doesn't sound like her and i don't know if that's just
like some post kind of cleaning it up and maybe you know sort of just modulating a little bit or
something but this hearing it back like it just doesn't sound like her and i'm trying to figure
out what it is and i'm sort of stumped by it it feels like they kept the funniest take regardless
of the intentionality of it which is why she's all over the place both in the writing
and the performance in terms of like who is this person what's wrong with her right right i also i
didn't get it in there but the way burns says back in about my dear we have to expel some urine
that's a good little gag and also that homer wants some ice cream he's already finished his pizza so
again burns is just paying homer with free food like that's all he does
uh and yeah it's uh it is a very third act thing of snake showing up but they say that was in like
their original script like it doesn't it's not them throwing out a third act as they did so many
times in the scully thing and then in the rewrite adding snake or whatever but uh i think also in this era though scully preferred snake to burns like snake shows
up in more much more often than you would think in in the scully years like this isn't even the
first time homer and him have like nearly died in battle like in the scully years it's actually
like the third or fourth time if you count a treehouse episode snake is more proactive exactly yeah just
like poochie he's getting things done man he almost snaps homer's neck like and break and
kills him in in the battle over the car snake is on a new level of eyes like snake always like
robs places but this snake is like yeah i kill people i i have i have bodies on me a snake i'm not just
somebody who beats people up a little bit i'm a murderer it's a new like when he says i stabbed
a guard i was like wow that's a new level for snake there yeah but uh making this feel very
late 90s now it becomes an episode about why the girls always like the bad boys like we're all mr burns
in this moment yes yeah but uh but yes uh gloria and homer get kidnapped by snake in this next clip
you're looking good baby why did we ever break up you pushed me out of a moving car? The cops were chasing us. I needed to lighten the load.
And, um, protect you.
Ha ha.
Come on, baby.
We can talk more at my hideout.
No, I'm engaged now.
My ring!
Let go of her, or I'll scream!
Ah!
Kaloo Kalay, we're in luck.
They had a magnum at the shoe counter.
Now for Gloria.
A ring.
Well, she's run off.
With Simpson.
A non-wacky act break, I guess.
Yeah, it's actually a dramatic act break.
I think I kept that in there too.
I was like, oh wait, it's just dramatic. this uh barney's bullorama carries a magnum of champagne
under the shoe counter like yeah which i guess if someone bowls a 300 you want enough for
to give everyone champagne oh totally a magnum that yeah that's a liter and a half that is a
double size champagne right i read that it can serve 12 wow man i mean homer will make quick
work of that really i think yeah it serves 12 drinking politely uh also it's a real kind of
olive oil situation there of snake kidnapping uh hers you're like no no homer screams more like
olive oil that's true yeah dan really earned his i hope he got some screaming
bonuses for this episode because he has to shriek quite a lot here i like that the third act opens
with the establishing shot of the simpsons home because you think you're gonna see that and
actually it's homer drives by it and then it can't stop i just wanted to escape yeah i love that
jeez i just want to escape man and i love the way she says, no, my boyfriend's Mr. Burns.
Homer just comes along at our dates and carries us up to the bedroom.
It's acknowledging how poorly written this character is.
It's just like, yeah, why is she going along with any of this?
What normal woman is party to this?
This gross man carries me and my elderly husband into the
room where he injects himself with a potion every night to have normal sex that snake is grossed out
by it like as he should be like snake should be disgusted i hate to put judgment on this but
if any friend of mine or our former partner was having sex with a mr burns type i would be like
you i would say you what
are you doing what happened what's wrong do you need help i'll help you like let's talk to somebody
stop having sex with mr burns very wild to have snake be the voice of reason in an episode yes
we'll buy you some younger sex yes look i'll pay for it you You know? It just doesn't. And then, yeah, it's a very,
for Homer to misread pistol whip
as like eating Cool Whip out of the jar,
like it almost feels like them
trying to like intentionally call back to season four.
But I think it's really the pink background
makes it perfect to me.
And also, of course,
Homer sticking a mouth gun end first,
like muzzle end first in his mouth is fun.
It's just cool if you eat with a gun.
Yes.
And by the way, he is pistol whipped a bunch later.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's so.
Was season four, you mentioned season four.
Was that cartridge family?
Oh, no, no.
That's season nine.
I'm just saying in a season four style, that's when they really did a bunch of cutaways and and uh yeah thought balloons and all that
because homer using the gun as a spoon reminded me of cartridge family in the sense of like he's
using it to turn off the tv and turn the lights off in his house and just that hilarious thing
of like it's a tool that's true spoon for my weird treat we're not too far away from uh new kids on the black where uh guns were used to
turn off like switches oh yes and to push buttons that's right yeah yeah and same one also you know
the uh six years after this in the movie wigum is eating donuts with his gun right almost shoots
himself in the face oh yeah uh but uh but so then the news is reporting on it and in my memory i was like yeah the family sees
this reported on tv and that's why they end up at the thing like no no it's just right just news
reporting it i kept thinking like okay then it must be a deleted scene not in the deleted scenes
on the dvd either march should say mr burns is in trouble. Or something like that. Who's buying the Mr. Burns
store?
Here's Brockman reporting on it.
Local authorities are confident the
killer bees are just curious and won't
bother us if we don't bother them.
On a serious note, two local
residents have been missing for the last 20
minutes. We take you now live to Barney's
Bollorama and the last man who saw them
see Montgomery Burns.
I don't understand. She was my
young, sexy fiancé.
He was my sexually virile best friend
and they just drove off in my Bugatti
Sexarosa. How could this
ever have happened? Well, according
to our audience Instapoll, 46%
say you're too old
and 37% say she's a
skank. She's a skank she's a skank what a what a 2001 lighting reading there
yeah yeah but i am bugatti sexarosa i believe a reference to a ferrari testerosa bugatti is a
real car brand i think you can buy a car from them for like $3 million. Oh, okay. I should be playing Gran Turismo 7.
I do like that the news is instantly on top of it, though.
I do like that.
And then comes another big moment in the show as we're driving along with Snake and Homer and Gloria.
We arrive at Snake's house and on the mailbox it says Snake, parenthetical, a.k.a. Jailbird, making public an internal argument in the writer's room since season three.
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Of the show in Black Widower.
And so, yes, in case you're new to Simpsons lore,
in the original script in his first appearance in season two,
he is named Jailbird in the script.
And no one says his name out loud in season two he is named jailbird in the script and no one says his name
out loud in season and for his later appearances he'll be referred to as jailbird in the script
but in black widower when besides joe bob is in jail and he's saying goodbye to people he says
uh i'll miss you snake he is speaking to jailbird and he calls him snake and so he's snake in the show from then on but in the writer's
room the super hardcores are like no he's jailbird we still call him jailbird so this aka jailbird is
making it making it now canon that he is both of those names in in the simpsons universe which i
always prefer snake he's got a snake tattoo it's fun just to hear him
called snake and then we reply with buh i got i missed that yeah one thing they don't argue about
is that uh the sea captain is just called the sea captain but he was established as captain
mccallister which never stuck around yeah that first episode he's met captain mccallister and
then he's just nope sea captain from then on.
And Snake is one of those guys they named like three other times. So he was like Chester Snake Turley, Snake Jillbird,
Albert Knickerbocker, Aloysius Snake.
They forgot that they had named him before.
So they're like, there's his name.
And then it's like, oh, wait, we did it before.
Did we name him?
No, we haven't.
Let's make him a funny new name for him.
Yeah. And in his place, there's all types of fancy things. He's got Oscars. He's got the Maltese Falcon. They even drew like shelves of bongs. That one, when I paused and saw, I was like, wow, they got bongs on. I mean, it's pretty boring in America. Bongs now. It's it's it's fairly legal in a lot of states but back in 2001 getting bongs on tv
still still a tough thing to do on network tv they snuck it in and uh and also them also i think i
read this on on a wiki i think it's possible when he asked who'd you have to kill to get a place
like this and he says i think his name was gustafson that is the name this shack
is not unlike where they hide out in fargo and gustafson is the name of one of the people killed
in fargo really okay so i do wonder if it is a fargo the movie reference i wonder by the way
that's that would be kind of cool yeah that's a good the the serious nad episode that's apparent
the recent one that's a parody of the Fargo TV show, I like it.
I think it's a good episode parodying the Fargo TV show.
I don't know how great it is if you haven't really watched the Fargo TV show.
I think it's good and I have not seen that TV show.
But I do want to see it.
Which season are they referencing?
Because they're all kind of so different.
You know, it's mostly the
first season of fargo it's it's mostly the and man a little of the season two flashback stuff
so it's uh it's it's uh mainly one and two not much three in there yeah got it got it but did
anyone peer in snake's place uh the because i was looking around i always love the detail i don't
remember when it was dropped that he like played lacrosse at one point so i was looking around i always love the detail i don't remember when it
was dropped that he like played lacrosse at one point so i was looking for like a lacrosse stick
somewhere in the hideout like and i was looking like oh was he like a goalie was there a big one
somewhere but i didn't uh notice any unfortunately you know there's not his diploma from middlebury
as well either which has been previously. He went there and has student loans. I looked up this fact that you told us, Andrew,
and that is in the Trios of Horror segment, Hell to Pay.
And that's when they're electrocuting him
on a reality show or whatever,
and they're giving facts about him.
Snake played lacrosse at Ball State University.
Right.
There you go.
Ball State.
That's right.
And yeah, Ed is like announcing his execution
but as they're being held captive it also turns into like this nagging woman kind of jokes here
as uh as gloria lets snake know he's being so predictable let me guess now you're gonna start
working him over with the brass knuckles.
You are so predictable.
You know what would be surprising?
A foot massage.
Shut up.
Oh!
Beating a man to a bloody pulp isn't going to impress me.
It used to.
What if I beat him harder?
Wow, you so don't get it.
Um, has the ship sailed on my foot massage suggestion?
Oh!
Don't worry, Mr. Burns.
We'll track down Simpson with your vehicle's anti-theft system.
Car gone. Car gone.
We know that. Where has it gone to?
Car gone! Car gone! Car gone!
Uh, Chief, this yokel says he saw Simpson driving out near Hickton.
Uh-huh. My peepers don't lie.
That's nice work, Lou. Lock him up.
Huh? Hey!
Hey, I want that lawyer what wears
a cowboy hat.
And by the way, that's not a reference
to any specific lawyer. If you type in cowboy
hat lawyer, you'll see like half of
Southern lawyers wear cowboy hats in their ads.
Okay, yeah. I was curious.
I couldn't uh find
when i when i google that too i was like no there's just a bunch of lawyers like that i
i but i do love i think also that's very realistic oh yeah the cops arrested the guy who helped them
they'd be like oh thanks all right you can put him in jail like oh that and also yes the uselessness
of that anti-theft car uh the car gone car gone and
you're right henry they never receive these news broadcasts from kent so like lisa shows up yeah
lisa is first on the scene like don't shoot my father yeah it's uh even though this is like way
out in the sticks like i had to drive pretty far in hickton as uh Lou says. Right. Hickton. And yeah, but yes, this is the usual nagging female partner to men in this era of Simpsons
of just saying like, oh, so predictable.
You're just going to beat him with brass knucks.
Al Jean makes the great point that if you were ever pistol whipped once in your life,
it'd be like scar you forever.
And you'd be crying about it still because it's like so so horrible if you were tied to a
chair and smacked in the face with a with a pistol but for homer he just laughs it off he's seen worse
but yeah so the the cops have surrounded the place it's really crazy seeing lou with his
uh hat backwards like this giant sniper rifle trained on homer uh but i love the line of him
saying like i think i got a clear shot it's like yeah
he's tied to a chair of course you have a clear shot at him at least i say no that means he's a
hostage that's great like they would have just shot they would have just shot and killed homer
if lisa wasn't there which uh you know the cop shooting the wrong guy in a hostage situation
that would never happen in real life and you know oh silly comedy show yeah but what
a silly arching up of see just like we said with veep like these jokes about like police
malpractice and brutality like it's just we've we've eclipsed it 10 times 10 already it's but
uh but yes uh then they then uh threatened to turn on the the the fire hoses like come on snake
you don't want me to soak all these people and uh i also forgot that in this episode eddie gets shot
while like i mean you're not used to a regular of the cops getting shot in the arm like he's
taking it well though yeah it's like ow ow ow just a flesh wound yeah also i mean snake would
again i was thinking like oh snake shot a cop he's never
getting out of jail again no that's that's the end of snake and you're right they totally turned
gloria into their idea of a nag this woman trying to get me to improve myself yeah yeah just like
you you said the same about your computer the phone telemarketing class like yeah snake's line
for that though is great like i just don't like bothering
people at home a guy who has stolen homes from people and breaks into their homes telemarketing
and bothering people on the phone that's too far for him that's too evil he won't do it this this
third act is sloppy in a fun way but it's like where did this fire come from yeah the fire that
should have been established but homer's like i'll just burn my ropes off with this fire that's always been here.
I think this end of season 12 production stuff is maybe the most senior-itasy stretch of episodes they ever did.
Because, like, this one and Homer the Moe are both very senior-itasy of just, like, whatever.
Like, let's just, yeah, like, the Moe ends with him just going like,
whatever, it's Thanksgiving, who cares?
You know what?
In this case, it's like, he's on fire.
That gets them out.
It's on fire there.
That's the end of the standoff, you know?
But yes, Homer does scream quite a lot in this next scene.
We're in minute two of this standoff.
What's the situation, Chief?
Well, we have an officer sneaking around the house, Kent.
So unless they have a television in there or can
hear my loud talking...
Ow, ow, ow.
Well, I guess that answers
that, doesn't it? I swear
I can change, Gloria.
I'm taking classes in computer
fraud. That's what you said about
the telemarketing scams,
but you didn't stick with it.
I don't like bothering people at home.
Good fire.
Good fire.
Keep burning.
Almost there.
Just a little more.
Oh, wait.
Ah!
Ah!
No!
Ah!
Ah!
I mean, I do like the comedy, too,
that Homer wants the fire
to selectively burn his ropes
and then it just engulfs him in flame. Like, that's good yeah he's talking to it like it's a dog which is a fucking great
like good fire good fire but yes in this entire section here you have to remind yourself like
wait she's a cop why did she want to help and if she's trying to make him better at being a criminal
have you could get some comedy out of that being her weird because
she's a police officer that she's also trying to make him a better criminal i thought of a better
ending actually based on that where um this could all be like a sting like she let herself get
kidnapped so wiggum could arrest a snake that's good work gloria or whatever oh man yeah that's
a better ending it would remember that she's a cop at least yeah
you know yeah because that's like when when there's the line about like uh you know whatever
it is like whatever snakes antics you know you used to like this and it's like when when you
were also still a cop like how do you just drop a huge thing like that it's just really slop city
man and her being a dirty cop with him is another character
detail like that actually could there's there totally is a like that's a thing in media the
dirty cop who's actually dating a criminal and they're helping each other like commit crimes
you could do something with that but i guess that wouldn't make gloria a normal woman like i would
make her like too evil or interesting like and And they just instead default of like, no, she just nags you to take online courses and improve.
That's like she should be also saying, why didn't you take a self-help book?
Or you never flush the toilet or close the toilet lid.
So apparently in one draft here, this ending was and I kind of wish they'd
have kept it that Burns would have taken his Viagra stand in to give himself the energy
to save her.
I wish they'd have kept that.
I think I think him getting it earnestly through like actually caring about a woman.
That's too nice.
That's too empathetic for Burns.
I'd rather I think it's funnier and uses a plot device for Mac too, to like Burns gets
horny to save her.
And that he's like, well, I'm hard as a rock, but really I did it to get her out of this
burning building.
It's a nice twist that she has to save him though.
That's good.
I like that.
And the extremeness of the cheat that the the silhouette is obviously
burns holding her and then it just swaps it swaps the silhouette of her holding burns like it's so
great in its cheapness uh but yes the this this also is another great line here though of of
wig i'm talking to burns i do like this here. It's too dangerous.
But I got a sister you might like.
She's completely hairless, like those cats.
I don't care if she's Miss Hairless America.
I'm spoken for.
Step aside.
I'll save Gloria myself.
You?
No offense, but you're a decrepit monkey skeleton.
Perhaps. But this monkey skeleton is in love
oh who am i kidding just a feeble old man gloria and then he busts in and saves her or almost dies and she saves him but uh she's i mean you know
it's it's a cute drawing of them together like that but yeah i kind of you know i it's also a
weird it almost feels like a take that lisa moment where she's says like he saved her himself and
he's like oh well okay i guess you know uh the point is they're alive like lisa only showed up
to be dumped on it sounds like i know to be wrong about something honestly though lisa should like
this reversal in you know the of gender norms here i feel like lisa should celebrate that
not not laugh at it or think she's wrong but uh but yeah so we have one last clip here as
everything seems to be happy this again when i say that like this is senioritis, it feels like they realized,
well, Gloria and Burns aren't going to be together in the next episode.
We don't want Burns to be happy and married.
So what do we do?
And they completely sell out her character is what they do.
This final thing they go out on feels a lot like the Springfield, sorry,
Simpsons Tall Tales episode in uh at the end of that one like uh as as the episode is winding down it's
like homer and the hobo just having casual small talk about like a very minor subject and then
just like it kind of peters out that's what this feels like to where they're talking about what is
a devil beard but here's our final clip wow Mr. Burns
how did you do that
never forget Homer
there's no muscle stronger
than the human heart
what about the wiener
a guy on TV lifted a can of paint with his
yes
oh Monty you saved me
and to think I was once in love
with that dirty lowlife
with his arrogant smirk, gutter mouth, tough guy attitude, macho tattoos, hair that can't be tamed, prison sculpted body.
Uh-oh.
I'm sorry, Monty.
Oh, Snake, don't ever change.
But you... I'm sorry, Monty. Oh, Snake, don't ever change. You...
But you...
I don't get it, Simpson.
I'm a bad boy.
Oh, I know.
I'm absolutely evil.
You're preaching to the choir, man.
What do I have to do?
Grow a devil beard?
Devil beard?
You know, a little goatee thing.
You mean a Van Dyke?
No, a Van Dyke has a mustache, doesn't it?
I think it can.
Are you talking about a soul patch?
No.
Wait, maybe.
It's so, like, I laughed out loud when Bart just enters.
Like, where, Bart, this is the first time Bart has said anything in this episode, wasn't it?
Since his shark butt.
He wanted shark butt, so it's been 20 minutes.
It reminds me that in Simpsons Safari, Bart just goes, I haven't said anything in a while.
Yes.
When he just has a weird joke.
Very similar.
Yeah.
And where did Marge come from?
No, this absolutely-
Uh-oh.
Yeah, her uh-oh.
Honestly, I like that because it's a dumb turn to have her be like, oh, of course, the lady
likes the bad boys because
that's how women are but having marge say ah oh that at least drives home how stupid this turn is
but it's also i i sort of read it as like uh i've seen this before like you know marge has
kind of been around like oh sure the first time she's seen the bad boy win over kind
of a thing prison chiseled body yeah i i mean uh gloria has heard that burns blotted out the sun
yeah isn't she enough of a bad boy or he enough of a bad boy for her i know it's like burns that's
true i mean obviously i would assume snake is a better lover than burns for sure but you're
gonna have a better time in the bedroom but i
think that's why burns saying all this stuff at the end here is just like wait the the end of this
episode is that i'm not bad enough for her i'm i'm the evilest man in town what this is a terrible
it's really them dumping on their own ending here i feel like i kind of want one of these cells of
the family walking off in the sunset and homer has his arm around burns i feel like it would be a cheaper cell because nobody really
likes this episode i just like i don't know 500 bucks give me the family talking to burns it is
kind of a nice shot with the sunset i was sort of admiring it as the episode closes out i was
shocked it didn't the the credits music wasn't an nrbq song again though i was kind of surprised
let's get three three three three uh they gotta have one that fits for a sunset i but yeah i also at the time i when i saw this
episode the first time i didn't think it was too bad until something about in my first watch when
i was uh 19 was that i just did not like homer saying what about the wiener like i guess it's
not too out of character for homer to
say like oh i saw a guy do this on tv but there's just something about homer saying what about the
wiener like i just go like okay i i don't know you know can i posit that i think what it might be
is the fact that it's like a grown adult man saying wiener instead of anything else sure i don't know this wiener to
me is like that's that's a that's a young that's a teenager's thing saying wiener let homer say
a way and it's homer simpson he'd be crasser than that yeah you know it also really again just like
jello shots speaks to the late 90s early aughts times because we were all sharing videos online then but also like in jackass the
show they met one of those guys who uh drags things that uh attaches a thing to his penis
like basically you've got penis then a chain or a hook attached to that penis and then a chain
attached to that hook and he does like dangle uh paint cans or drag things or also just like move it.
Yeah, I remember I can visualize Steve-O looking at a guy yanking on his penis in such a rough manner.
Yeah, I was wondering, like, was Homer watching Howard Stern or something?
Or no, it was Jackass for sure.
Totally.
Yeah, I would bet too.
That actually reminded me of the, I don't know if you guys have watched,
I think it's in the first season of how to with john wilson on hbo i gotta watch that guy
oh man there is an i mean it's the whole thing is brilliant and they're really fast they're you
know half hour episodes but there's an episode where he is talking to a guy who is a proponent
of undoing circumcision by basically like just pulling on it and twisting
on it for a really long time and this dude is like it's hysterical and it's like him casually
talking about this like while he has like things dangling from his penis that are like weighted
to it's and this guy's got a family and they're like there for the interview not while the penis
is out but like they're there like yeah this is my is my dad, man, and this is going to be on TV.
Isn't that fantastic?
You know, it's okay to have an opinion.
I totally recommend, by the way.
It's okay to have an opinion about that, but that shouldn't be the one thing you are believing in and the one thing that you make your passion.
And to reclaim foreskin.
It's also like, guys, you know, if you lost it as a kid, don't go chasing that dragon.
You know, it's like trying to chase a sunset.
You'll never catch it.
You're just, you're circumcised.
That's just how it is.
I want to point out that this episode goes live April 20th for patrons, a week later for non-patrons.
And that means you can still catch NRBQ at the end of their tour.
So if you're in Burlington,ont uh ledyard center connecticut or uh
portland uh massachusetts wow you can go see nrbq and i bet if you see them on 420 they're gonna
there's gonna be some weed around guys oh man it's gonna be nrbq ditchweed though so watch out
those cities are the perfectest cities for nrbq and. I mean, Burlington, Vermont, the Portland, Maine, like that is so, that screams NRBQ's
East Coast tour to me.
Yeah, you probably will have to smoke crappy weed with like a man in his 60s, with Mike
Scully.
Mike Scully will pass a juvie to you.
You know what?
You, no, Mike Scully works in Hollywood.
He's got access to the good stuff.
Oh, absolutely.
Yeah, he's bringing the good.
Though I guess, you know, is he going to travel with it to Burlington, Vermont?
I don't know.
He's going to have to use local.
If you don't see them in April, you have to wait until June.
And that's two months without an RBQ in your life.
Do you want to wait until June 7th to see them in Boston?
I know I don't.
Oh, man, you could hear, if you went to it, how many songs would you recognize from hearing
us talk about it on this podcast?
And as they argue about what a Van Dyke is, I'm going to go with the Wikipedia description,
which is a Van Dyke is a style of facial hair named after the 17th century Flemish painter
Anthony Van Dyke.
It is one that is defined by the beard.
It means goatee and mustache.
It has to be both.
Like Lisa, at least according to the Wikipedia definition,
Van Dyke is mustache and goatee.
It can't just be a goatee style that way.
That's good to know.
Just to settle that argument.
Anyway, it's a very deflated ending that feels like,
almost like they had a checklist of saying, well, we can't end end this episode we need to check in with the family one more time for this
episode this can't be the mr burns in love episode my final thoughts are it could be better it's very
messy but we're in a real burns drought i'm just happy to see him i'm happy to hear him i'm happy
to get any new burns material so that really boosts this episode for me any final thoughts
from you andrew yeah just that like you know and on this episode for me. Any final thoughts from you, Andrew? Yeah, just that like, you know, and on this episode itself, I was continuing my crusade of like ragging on later Simpsons.
But, you know, I feel like every time I come on, like I'm always learning something from you guys.
And like this is like I'm being reminded that there are good jokes in here for sure.
And things that I, you know, carried with me for a while, just saying to my friends like a bunch of of Simpsons lines, you know, and I said knee. I mean, that was, boy, we talked about
that a lot. Yeah. But also just a total brutal reminder, man. I mean, like that first act with
all the Chinese stuff, you know, even something from 2001, you know, which now is 21 years ago.
Yeah. Could still be dated and shitty. And yeah, so that's a total bummer but there's some
gems in here which is cool and um you know probably my favorite visual gag is the the
pistol whip which i've been looking at bob's background the entire uh recording here he's
got homer eating with the gun in his mouth it's just fucking great i so yeah little little gems
problematic minefield here and there i i really needed mr burns's sex life to shove all
the chinatown content out of my brain we immediately forgot about it yes yeah until you said that
andrew i was like right we talked all about chinatown like an hour and a half ago on this
podcast but uh thank you so much andrew for being on the show you're from we hate movies please
please let everyone know about that and you have have a ton of Patreon-exclusive miniseries like The Nexus and Melro 210.
And Once in a Lifetime.
I'm trying to think of them all.
Glee Glossary.
Side order Slee sometimes.
What's going on with We Hate Movies?
Yeah, no, we are busy folks.
We would argue maybe a little too busy.
But yeah, Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies is where you can find all those side shows.
We love talking about Star Trek, Star Wars,
things of that nature. Lifetime movies
is what Once in a Lifetime is all
about. We also have a
sort of monthly entry. We love movies
where we rag on movies that we really
like and are important to us.
And so if this is coming out in April,
we'll have been past our
March Listener Request Month. But I will say, I think
Bob, you said for Patreon folks on your end,
this will be coming out on 4-20. Exactly.
So just to sort of plug,
4-24, we're kicking off some Northeast
tour dates. We're doing just
a few Boston, D.C., and
Philly. You can find all that stuff on
WHMPodcast.com
and there's a tour
page there. It has all the ticketing info and all
that stuff. We're doing three sylvester stallone movies uh for the the sort of thread through our northeast
date so that'll be a lot of fun maybe you guys will cross paths with nrbq on your tour that is
fingers crossed bob uh that i can finally track those guys down and maybe hear a song of theirs
because i literally feel the only time i hear about nrbqs either on the show or just when i'm watching the simpsons in general and they kind of
come up or something but it is a band that as far as my brain knows doesn't technically exist
clearly you know simpsons creators love it and you know burlington vermont definitely
when you're when you stop at any rest stop or gas station keep an eye out for the
nrbq tour bus i'm sure it must be huge and opulent and uh tell them we sent you they'll be very
confused yes yeah but but i i i'm so happy you guys are getting back out on the road i i can't
i i wish i could see you guys when you're out there but um when i hope you
guys can come to the west coast again someday too we we would love to see you in person yeah that is
um that is in in the works so fingers crossed we do have some uh info there uh hopefully for the
back part of this year but we'll see yeah it was a long drought of not playing shows and luckily we
got to do some at the tail end of last year was a lot of fun getting out there again and seeing folks and
you know sort of feeling the room which is definitely different than sitting in my studio
talking to the three guys alone so it's a lot of fun and so we hope if folks can make it we hope
to see out there in a couple days awesome man thank you so much andrew thank you andrew yeah
thank you guys thank you so much to andrew jupin for being on the show once again please check out we hate movies and everything that they do ask for us
if you want to check out more of what we do and get all these episodes one week ahead of time and
free please go to patreon.com slash talking simpsons sign up for five bucks a month to get
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up for that you get all the five dollar stuff naturally but also access to one megalon podcast
once a month only for patrons of that level or higher and what is that henry bob is talking about the what a cartoon movie podcast in addition to all
those five dollar things we do a once a month super long premium podcast where we talk about
an animated feature film often for over five hours even recent ones have included back in
february we did south park bigger longer and uncut that was a big hit last month
we did pinocchio the disney golden age classic this month we're finally doing it the live action
anime crossover film of our childhoods on roger rabbit check out what will surely be a great and
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sign up there today just visit there and you'll see an easy to follow list of it patreon.com slash
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thanks so much for joining us folks we'll see you again next time for the april episode of
our community podcast talk to the audience and we'll see you then.
Living in a castle like a king
Wouldn't be much fun without my queen
And I'll probably throw it all away if I don't have you
Burns looks happy today. Watch uh take advantage of his good mood
uh mr birds uh can i have a raise clean out your desk you're gone well i had a good run