Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - A Star Is Burns

Episode Date: November 29, 2017

Boo-urns! It's time for the crossover that entertained millions and pissed off Matt Groening. We get into that, as well as some of the most meme-inspiring lines in Simpsons history, including quiet parts loud, footballs to groins, nonunion Mexican equivalents, and so much more. Just hook it to your veins!!!

This week's episode of Talking Simpsons is brought to you by you. That's right, we're on Patreon now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons. For as little as $5 a month, you can help our show and get all kinds of great extra content on top of that. We've got a ton of great bonus content waiting for you right now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons today. I heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, hoy, everybody. Welcome to TalkingSimpsons, where it gets worse before it gets better. I am your host, the already dead Bob Mackie, and this is the Laser Time Podcast Network's

chronological exploration of the Simpsons. Who else is here with me today? Henry Gilbert and Camus Can Do, but Sartre is Smartra. Oh, very intelligent. Another crappy crossover, Chris Santista. And special guest, Talking Critics. Dana Goodman. Now let's get silly.

Oh boy, we're all in front of brick walls right now we all have machine guns so watch out I like it when a show comes up that's the basis for one of our sound effects yes by the way

today's episode is A Star Is Burns coming you Dora that is not a Simpsons burp no that is a Maurice LaMarche burp crossover belch yeah

also Wacko's burp and this episode aired on March 5th 1995 and as always chris will tell us what happened on this day in history oh my god goddamn bobby an episode of the jenny jones show entitled same-sex crushes is taped but pulled from the air after results in a real-life murder the super nintendo tips the scales with its largest video game to date at 32 megabytes with squaresoft's corner trigger and a cute little monkey introduces the world to E-1101 in the virus movie Outbreak.

Oh, wow. Yes. That's when Marcel the monkey from Friends infected everybody. Is that the same monkey? It is the same monkey. Oh, and he kills Kevin Spacey. Good. Lucky monkey.

Was he the monkey shines monkey? That I don't know. He's a robot. I just remember Marcel, he leaves in the first season and then comes back for the Super Bowl special on Friends where Jean-Claude Van Damme is the guest star and he's in a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie

based on him actually leaving to be in the Dustin Hoffman movie. I bet he slept with all the friends. Having to shoot around Marcel. Jesus Christ. I think that's why they wrote him off. They're like, this monkey's funny and all, but it's caused a lot of trouble. We're out of monkey jokes, too. Yeah, today's episode is a very

controversial one. Very. I immediately thought of this when I was watching the intro. Like, something looks wrong. Oh, right, Matt Groening's name is on the TV. Oh, right, he took his name off of this episode. Oh, right, and it's a very long and complicated tale. Yeah, well, let's get into that complicated tale as The Critic critic a show we

already did a couple episodes for on the free feed here and you can listen to this do all of with diana goodman and michael raparez uh on the patreon this was a show created by algae to mike reese with james l brooks after leaving the simpsons at the end of season four. It had a very rocky time on ABC, canceled in six episodes, but they were able to get financing for a second season at Fox. Part of that financing, though, came with that it was going to be cheaper. It would be only 10 episodes instead of even 13, and one of those episodes would be a clip show. And lastly, that the critic team would create two episodes of The Simpsons in season six, thus to make a 26 episode season instead of a 24 episode season.

And that was really to satisfy the network because they wanted more clip shows and they didn't want to do clip shows to tarnish the reputation of the show. So the creators, yes, David Merkin refused to do more clip shows. He said he also said we can barely keep up this level of quality doing 23 original episodes a season. So then they're like, fine. Season six will have one clip show and then two critic run episodes, which is this and Round Springfield is the other one produced by the critic team in season six. This one is so much more obvious, though, because it was meant to be a crossover with the critic to yes advertise that the critic is going to be debuting next to the simpsons we had to plug a laser time show we had we did a show i think with one of you about i was on it backdoor pilots and this isn't a backdoor

pilot but it is sneaky it really is i mean this aired on the same night as the first episode of the second season of the critic so it was this and then that episode i would say like millions of viewers they were discovering jay sherman for the first time through the second season of The Critic. So it was this and then that episode of The Critic. So I would say millions of viewers they were discovering Jay Sherman for the first time through The Simpsons, but this is something in an internet-free world with no Instagram promotions. Sometimes you had to do to launch a show, introduce them in a more popular show,

and tell them they're going over to here, Wisconsin, where we're on every Monday night. TGIF did it all the time. As Lisa would tell, some people thought that was good, like James L. Brooks, Al G to Mike Reese. Some people,

like Matt Groening and many of the staff writers on The Simpsons, did not think it was a good idea and in fact, really didn't like it. Matt Groening behind the scenes was fighting it all the way,

saying we really shouldn't do this, we really shouldn't do this. He advised all these rewrites on it just to make Jay work better in the world of The the simpsons but he was still fighting him on it and then on march 3rd this episode aired march 5th on march 3rd of 1995 mac reigning goes public to the la times and he says he did not want this episode and he explained that he was taking his name off it intentionally because this did not do what he wanted the show to be. I feel like he's going a little crazy here.

So here are some of the quotes from it. This is a little extreme compared to the content of the episode. So he says, saying fans will, quote, accuse us of making the crossover episode just to advertise the critic. That's why I've had my name removed from the episode. Then James L. Brooks and Al Jean and Mike Reese had some strong words back for him in the article. James L. Brooks says, quote, I am furious with Matt. He's been going to everybody who wears a suited fox and complaining about this.

When he voiced his concerns about how to draw the critic into the Simpsons universe. He was right and we agreed to his changes. Certainly he's allowed his opinion, but airing this publicly in the press is going too far. This has been my worst fear, ellipses. The Matt we know privately is going public. He is a gifted, adorable, cuddly ingrate.

But his behavior right now is rotten and it's not pretty when a rich man acts like this. Oh, boy. Because that's what, to me, it feels like. It feels like James L. Brooks pulled a power move on Groening. He overruled him. It's like, this is my show, and these are both my shows, and I make the call.

I would bet that never happened before. It probably never had to that extent, and this is what Al Jean had to say. What bothers me about all of this is that now people may get the impression that this simpsons episode is less than good it stands on its own even if the critic never existed we never tried to give matt blame or credit for our show but it's not like we're some outsiders who suddenly came in and did this thing we've been with the simpsons since 1989 mike and i weren't trying to shove anything down anybody's throats it was j Jim's idea to do the crossover. If this had to happen,

this is the most ideal way in the universe that could possibly happen. The original writers come on who know the tone of the show, don't have to be coached. Without being able to watch them back to back, I remember how jarring it was when the DVDs came out. I'm like, holy shit, Jay Sherman was Simpsonified. They made him look like

a different character. I didn't watch this live, but that had to be jarring. This is the same character from before? He looks a little different. I think Groening did overreact, but I think it was that overreaction that made this episode good. All of his reservations about how to integrate the critic in the show, I think, worked because he doesn't overpower the show.

He doesn't dominate the show. And I think this does feel like a Simpsons episode and not a critic episode. The Simpsons have to happen to be like in the background. I would only argue also in, there's a couple of clunkers. There's about 10% of this that I'm like, this is a critic joke. It shows how the critic jokes don't work in Springfield. And I thought that was really interesting. You can't just have celebrities pop out of nowhere in the Simpsons universe.

That feels wrong. It's true. Like having William Shatner suddenly appear to do a one line joke. Or Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter. really interesting. You can't just have celebrities pop out of nowhere in the Simpsons universe. That feels wrong. It's true, like having William Shatner suddenly appear to do a one-line joke. Or Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter.

That's such a critic joke that this doesn't happen in Springfield. Not only is it not a bad episode, we have to come up with a term for it, this launched like 11,000 memes.

People love this episode. It's so meme-heavy. It's very, very meme-heavy. And I want to talk about the writer of this episode unless you're do you have more uh well just the other uh extra seasoning to this i want to mention was that in our second interview with bill oakley we asked him about this too and he said that the la times article from 95 covers it pretty well but he made it sound like most of the writers were on matt's side that they're like this is kind of a crummy thing that makes the simpsons less special by doing this kind of thing.

He said that they had turned down working with. I don't know. I'm not putting words in Bill Oakley's mouth. Listen to the interview yourselves, guys. But he talked about how that Planet Hollywood had said, hey, we could do a guest star on the show. And then they turned it down because like, why should we do this with Planet Hollywood? So it was seen as like kind of a compromising of the simpsons integrity internally to do it i could see how they would think you know this this is a cheap idea and it's usually done really badly yes it is as opposed to

well let's see if there's a way to do it not badly and i think they totally accomplished that admirably done and ambilically said that he felt in the end they probably took it too seriously. That's what's up. They were too strident in their views, which they usually were in The Simpsons. The amount of compromising and gimmicks that would occur throughout the next 25 seasons. This was not

that big a deal. And none of this ugliness is on the commentary, by the way. They actually start the commentary by saying I'm positively delighted to be here. I'm positive about this. You can tell very much. They were told beforehand, this is a positive commentary. We're not going to talk about the bad things.

John Lovitz is there, but Matt Groening isn't there. Nope. I can see why Matt Groening would think this is not a great episode. Because there is a couple of, I don't know, real weird things and bombs. His name is on some lesser episodes. Jesus, there's like 11,000 worse episodes at this point. I don't think they would know. They didn't know at this point the show had gone on for 20 plus years.

But a crossover is fun for most viewers. And they did it with Family Guy in a way that, like, Simpsons fans should be really mad at that. I hated that way more than this. Vile. But as a kid, I just loved this. I was like, I knew the Flintstones and the Jetsons, so I liked this too. I was like, yeah, my favorite cartoons are hanging out with each other.

It wouldn't take much of a rewrite to make this not the critic. It could just be any character. Or you could even not have a critic character come in. Yeah. And you'd still have a real good episode, man. John Lovitz has played three guest characters before. This is not unprecedented for John Lovitz to play a new weirdo. It could have been Artie Ziff.

Yeah, it could have been Artie Ziff. It could have been Llewellyn Sinclair. They basically did this plot again with Artie Ziff moving in with Homer. That's true. So now I want to talk about

the writer of this episode. His name has come up a lot on The Critic. You might know him best from Futurama, but his name is Ken Keeler. Yay! And he is probably

the most educated sitcom writer on the planet. I mean, Futurama had four PhDs but as far as the Simpsons go, this guy has an MA in electrical engineering from Stanford and a PhD in applied mathematics from Harvard. But then he went on to write for David Letterman he wrote one episode of Wings

and then went on to The Critic, then The Simpsons then Futurama. And he for some reason was assigned the most controversial Simpsons episodes. Like, he wrote this one. He wrote Two Bad Neighbors, which was a very controversial and some people thought one of the worst episodes ever. Wrote me the wrong way at the time. And he wrote The Principal and the Pauper, which we'll get to.

And I feel like in the end, that episode is funny and it's not as bad as you think it is. But, I mean, Ken Keillor is great and he's really great on commentaries. He's probably the nerdiest guy on any Simpsons or Futurama commentary, which is a high bar to jump over. Yes, compliment. Doctorate in Applied Mathematics. Yes. I like on this. What is the formula to getting on The Simpsons from Harvard?

I mean, that's into, like, the level of math that makes you start to, like, lose your mind. Yes, it's like numbers aren't even real anymore. And this guy, there is actually a differential calculus joke in this episode and he had to put that in this episode yes it's one of those things in the background of futurama it's like i'm smart i get that yeah he it's on the futurama commentaries he's even correcting like david x co and i'm like david x will say well it's based on this principle and then k will be like um actually no it's it's the differentiation of that principle like and then cohen has to be like oh damn but this was how

keeler kind of got into the simpsons world this was his back door into it writing for critic then he writes this episode of the simpsons he will be staff on season seven and eight of the simpsons and then follow cohen and graining to futurama and he wrote a lot of the songs from this era onwards. Yeah. For some reason. I guess maybe the math degree helps you become a better musician. I don't know.

All these fucking Harvard dudes. Harvard. Harvard protecting Harvard, man. And this episode was directed by Susie Dieter, again, an already experienced on Simpsons and Critic. She had left Simpsons for the Critic in season six and now has come crawling back to Simpsons. This is a great-looking episode, too.

She's got to do a lot in this episode, including that whole Barney thing coming up. It's just amazing. Yeah, holy shit. Susie Dieter, underrated master director on the show. She had to mimic David Lean. It's a TV animator. Holy shit.

Well, this episode opens with an Algin and Mike Reese staple, reusing animation. We get the long, long version of Ion Springfield with some very distracting season two animation among season six animation. It's actually from season three's Flaming Moes. But there's like a new arrangement of the theme, which sounds worse. They just make it longer. But first, we all stink. Hey!

According to a national survey ranking, Springfield is the least popular city in America. In science, dead last. I'm telling you people, the earth revolves around the sun. Burn him! What a story! You've stolen my shovel!

In culture, dead last. Eleanor, we've got to do something about this depression. So I propose... Oh, that's right, I'm crippled. I love how Garber says, So will. So will.

Almost like sex. Does anyone want to guess what America's most unpopular city is right now? Oh, what is it? It's got to be something in Ohio. Youngstown, Ohio, my birthplace. East St. Louis. Detroit. Detroit. According to USA Today, Detroit's gotta be something in Ohio Youngstown Ohio my birthplace well East St. Louis Detroit Detroit according to USA Today

Detroit's the worst city in America because it has a poverty rate of 39.8 oh wow yeah wow

I wanna say my hometown beats it but I don't know offhand Youngstown does suck it does it's bad Youngstown's not this close to being Mad Max

it's true it's true you can drink some of our water I wonder how Skinner avoided being burned alive at this thing. Yes. But they are literally lynching people in Springfield still, apparently.

For the heliocentric model. We've got to stop that. And Sunrise at Campobello is a real thing, by the way. It was a 1958 play, a 1960 film about the... FDR. FDR is stricken with polio right before he is going to be nominated as the Democratic Party's presidential candidate. That could not have been a real line from the player movie. It's so on the nose.

You have to do something about this depression. I have to say that the Eleanor, that's a pretty foxy looking Eleanor Rosenbaum. I know, she's got some hips. I didn't have it in there, but there was also the rap and rabbi's joke. My time to shine. My dad's humor, which was thoroughly influenced by NPR. NPR thought this was the funniest thing in the world, and I've looked it up several times

to do a parody song episode of Lazer Time. This has no fans. Two Live Jews was a group of Jews, two Jewish guys making fun of Two Live Crew, starting with their 1990 album As Kosher As They Want To Be. They had five albums, including one Christmas album.

Of course. And their Wikipedia is filled with red links with no citations. But my dad, he never listened to them, but he told me about them all the time because he thought it was the most hilarious concept in the universe because we're from florida and two life crew who's on everybody's lips uh i have a clip in over there of the awful

song uh that's parodying me so horny it's i think it's called uh oh it's so humid walking back to the hotel from the bagel shop. It was so damn humid. Air was on us like a mop. I was shredding like a mule. I was frying like a blintz. I was swimming in my shorts, if you get the hint. Boy, it's so humid. Boy, it's so humid.

Oh, boy. Oh. Wait, wait. So, wait. This became Oh, Hello, right? That is, that is. But yeah, it's probably much better. Why did they say Sweat and not Schwitz?

Schwitz. What's happening? Diane, there's a whole two other minutes you didn't hear. This is a mix of Two Live Jews and the Benedictine Monk stuff. I just can't believe this exists. I forgot about this. Because in my record store, there was a comedy album section, which I'd always go through because George Carlin and Weird Al albums were rare.

I know there's a Weird Al album from 1986, and I've never seen it. So I go, they had their own section in the comedy section. And it was the first one because of the two. Two live Jews were always the head of the comedy section. And they've resonated for years and remained popular. They say it out loud in the episode that this is also inspired by the Benedictine monks, which people get mad at me on the critics sometimes where I say, this is a Simpsons joke done again, or the Simpsons would later redo this joke.

On the same night, they do the same joke in the season premiere of Critic. They also do a Benedictine monk joke in it. I know, but it's just parallel thought. No, it's the same writing group in an episode that airs the same night. But Pretty Woman is so bodacious, just like St. Ignatius. There was one before that, too. This is like the third time in a row they've done this joke. I'm pretty sure.

It's such an easy joke because it was such a weird thing to be popular. There was a recording of Benedictine monks. It went platinum or something. It went platinum several times. It was a huge worldwide hit. Chant. Chant. It was just chanting.

It really inspired Gina Reese. It also lets you know that once Reese is back, they do many more Jewish jokes than had been happening this season. At the time, it was a huge phenomenon because it rose to number one on the charts, stayed there for weeks, and had no radio play and no play on MTV, not even the country music channel. It was just albums, like white people buying albums.

That's the only reason it sold so well. This would make me smart if I listened to it. Well, it's relaxing to have on in the background, I guess. You can get busy to it and think about all those monks and how they can't get busy. Yeah, it's like a weird cuckolding thing. I'm cuckolding all the monks right now. They're the original cucks.

Well, so this pretty much gets lost after this point. But the reason they're doing a film festival is because they want Springfield to be bettered and not be the worst city in America. But it's never mentioned again after this. But that it will ruin the tourist trade. And I include this just because I got some expert opinion on how Bart talks here. I think we should call a town meeting. If we don't do something soon, we won't get any tourists at all. No tourists? I'll be ruined.

Maps to movie stores, homes! Maps for the kids of the seniors! Stop, stop, no cheese at Map-O! Excuse me, are you Drew Barrymore? What? Get out of here. I'm hungover. Sorry, Miss Barrymore. What?

I do like most, what? What? It should be more to that joke, I suppose. A very critic joke to me. Yeah, like Japanese tourist jokes feel like more of a critic thing than a thing though so bart is speaking japanese there so he says maps to movie stars home then uh map is the cineasta which is spanish and then in what sounds like nancy cartwright saying phonetic japanese says tapu star no chizu mapu which I thought I knew what it meant but I made

sure to check with friend of the show bongo comics artist and person who speaks Japanese Nina Matsumoto and she confirmed to me that what Bart says is map map of top stars so tapu stars that's top stars

no of though you kind of have to reposition it and then uh chizu is map but mapu is also map one is the traditional japanese word for map one is their borrowed word for map of mapu so basically says map map but uh but it's technically ish correct they did some research they did yeah it's not just yelling gibberish like ha ha asian voices are funny though she also she said she had never noticed that was japanese before partially because it is like really mangled but again it's like i would bet nancy cartwright was just handed phonetic words and just said them. Can I get into a nerdy detail that I never noticed before? Bart says, I'll be ruined, and we get a harp noise to signify an imaginary sequence.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that is more of the cause for an imaginary one. Yeah, it's not a cutaway. It's in his brain, but yet we see Moe. Yeah, that's true. His fantasy ends with a Moe prank? Yes. Obviously, if you were going to sell maps to the stars,

there's only two stars, maybe three in all of Springfield. So obviously, it's just going to use it as an excuse to harass Moe a bunch. I bet all the addresses are Moe. Oh, that's great. It's the prank calls extending into another media. You can't prank him anymore. Okay, we figured it out. This joke is deeper than we thought.

Though that's right. This is, again, makes it more like Gene and Reese. They start by watching TV, a Gene and Reese favorite, and way more cutaway to jokes than you got in these American episodes that we've been commenting on. Although you said this is 95? March 95. March 95. So Drew Barrymore had cleaned up Iraq by then.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. She was a bunch of boys on the side. Yeah. I remember that movie. Sure existed. Has she flashed David Letterman by this point? Somewhere in that time.

She had done Playboy by this point. She cameoed in Wayne's World 2. The Juergen Kierigan of the Juergen Fjords. Yeah, but she was off the drugs and the booze by then. She cleaned herself up the simpsons will be right back is this projection accurate is talking Simpsons getting a live show? Yes! The answer is yes, everybody.

Talking Simpsons is getting a very own live podcast recording. Where? At San Francisco Sketch Fest in good old San Francisco. When? January 28th, 530. How much are tickets? They're free. You just gotta claim yours first

if you're gonna be going. Interested parties only. It's gonna be at the Piano Fight Bar in San Francisco, January 28th, 2018 at 530 p.m. We're gonna be doing a live podcast recording. More details to come on

what we're gonna be doing there soon, but be sure that it is gonna be a gay old time at SF sketch fest and we are super honored to be there and we can only do that thanks to the support of all of our people on patreon just five dollars a month gets you access to a ton of special things that you will only find there including every episode of talking critic a ton of exclusive interviews and much much, much more. So please sign up at Patreon and don't forget, mark your calendars for January 28, 2018 for Talking Simpsons,

the live podcast recording at SF Sketch Fest. Hey, if you're listening to this during the week of Black Friday, maybe you should think about getting a gift for the Simpsons lover in your life. And I know the gift I would suggest. The t-shirt for Talking Simpsons. The Talking Simpsons t-shirt you can get for yourself. It's on Shirtsickle and you can head to shirt sickle.com or you can go to tiny.cc slash talking shirt and pick it up it is a beautiful sky blue based on the design for ion springfield done by our wonderful friend of the show nina matsumoto

just $19.99 will get you your own t-shirt plus shipping and tax and it ships somewhat internationally so just because you're not in the united states doesn't mean you won't be able to get this shirt check it out for yourself at shirtsickle.com or tiny.cc slash talking shirt how we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero Hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels and much more.

Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier and your world brighter. Find our net zero hope at electricireland.ie. Hey, this is Sideshow Luke Perry. You're listening to Talking Simpsons on Lazer Time. This week on Lazer Time, the internet's seventh leading pop culture podcast, the gang is tackling a brand new topic. I tried to find a negative review of Citizen Kane. One star, it had no color.

It was utterly depressing. The camera angles were okay, but the acting really wasn't too good. All the actors were always interrupting themselves or each other, and it just didn't flow well in my mind. And this is my favorite line of all time. It's just like the Blair Witch Project. I mean, of all time. It's just like the Blair Witch Project. I mean, he's right. It's just like the Blair Witch Project.

A lot of people watch Citizen Kane because of the hype and find themselves disappointed. It's sad but true. Citizen Kane was a real disappointment. Totally unoriginal plot. Bad lighting. Cheesy sets. Boring too. And gosh, what is this Rosebud thing?

That was freaky. Whoa, dude. Anyway, this movie was whack and mad boring. It was a bummer, too, that it was all black and white and all the guys looked the same because they all wore suits. That's Laser Time. New every Monday on LasertimePodcast.com, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts. Then also the shows this episode kind of is a traditional Simpson episode that goes straight to a town meeting.

Yeah. And that Seinfeld joke just sucks, honestly. It's bad, but it also made me wonder that this is probably the one Seinfeld joke the show ever made. And Seinfeld was the hugest show that started when The Simpsons started. That's what I looked into. Because I love it when The Simpsons... The Simpsons is the biggest phenomenon I remember happening when it happened. And I've lived so long.

And so was The Simpsons. It was awesome early on to see the show honor other phenomenons. Like Ren and Stimpy. Or Jurassic Park. Like, oh shit, I get this. The Seinfeld I think it's only interesting that it had been on

this is in its fifth season but it was not a huge hit the first three seasons got shit ratings no one was talking about it the critics liked it and I what was

the detail that episode was the one but it's in the production order because you would date this back to around 1994 yeah that's the fourth

season when not only did Seinfeld shoot up it remained in the production order, because you would date this back to around 1994, that's the fourth season when not only did Seinfeld shoot up, it remained in the top two. The top two or three until for the next five years. So it's having to acknowledge the one show everybody's talking about more than The Simpsons and at this time it's Seinfeld. It was the non-drama water cooler show.

Can you believe what happened? Yes, because ER you could say the same thing about, but who the fuck cares about ER? Though also, you know, the critic made fun of Seinfeld before in the first episode of The Critic. This is how people actually talk. This is how people talk, Dan. Which, that's ripe for The Critic to do. It's just like, well, Critic, you're not realistic either.

Are you saying you're how people talk? Yeah, I'd never seen The Simpsons poke fun at a sitcom other than like Cosby, which it was always kind of had a rivalry with being on the same at the same time and the same night. I was trying to remember where they made front of friends. And I think it was only in, again, another Gene and Reese episode, Simpson Tide. It's like, what's in David Schwimmer? Oh, he is kind of handsome in an ugly way. That's right. Actually, I think it's more of an acknowledgement and not a jab because

I think everyone on the staff likes Seinfeld. They talked about Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein. They wrote Seinfeld spec scripts to get on The Simpsons. And writers would go

from The Simpsons right to Seinfeld like Jennifer Crittenden. I'm speculating, but not unlike Ren and Stimpy, I think it was a tip of the hat to another white-hot phenomenon

that they were acknowledging. It was more like just a nerdy idea of like, well, Springfield is only a few letters off from Seinfeld. But it's also not a joke. It is not a joke. Not very funny.

Not really. The next joke is much funnier. Yeah. I may be just a boy, but I have an idea. If I may, I'd like to show you a few slides. Here's Springfield as it appears from space. Somewhere in this windy valley is the lost Dutchman's mind. Young man, that appears to be a picture of your rear end.

So long, suckers. This is the last time I use an escape plan devised by Milhouse. Sorry, Bart. I want to think they're just rolled up in that for the rest of the meeting. Just watching the rest of the meeting. I think that's a great pointless prank of Bart's of just like, I'm going to show everybody my butt and just talk about it farting. That's his entire thought. The last touch of his mind.

It is also classic. Bart likes taking photos of his butt. It's true. It's something he does quite a lot. He can write on his butt very legibly. It's my Twitter cover photo for several years. I remember that, yeah. I think it still is.

It still is. Lord knows I'm not updating that site. And then also kind of a double up of the gambling episode as well. Marge has a good idea, but everybody doubts her at first. I love the one guy Marge is going to say something. Marge is going to say something. Dan is on fire in this episode. As we find out, Dan's on the commentary and they point out multiple times,

like especially in one big moment I'll bring up later, Dan's ad-libbing really helped him out on the show. He's kind of almost a writer, really. They depend a lot on Dan Castellaneta. especially in one big moment I'll bring up later, Dan's ad-libbing really helped them out on the show. He's kind of almost a writer, really. They depend a lot on Dan Castellaneta. Now, I know you haven't liked some of my past suggestions, like switching to the metric system. My dick, the metric system is the tool of the devil.

My car gets 40 rods to the horse head, and that's the way I likes it. The old person's remarks will be stricken from the record. Who said that? But my new idea is different. I think we should hold a film festival and give out prizes. I did the math on this. I did the math, too. But the problem is hog's head is inconsistent.

It is, yeah. It's different. It's a measure of depth, not distance. No, no. I'm doing an SNL sketch here. No, I mean, it's... I'm talking about leagues. Good old 20,000 leagues.

Yeah. No, I mean, it's a measure of volume, but for wine, it's one thing. For beer, it's another. For tobacco, it's another. Hogshead? Hogshead, yeah. So it is a... They didn't just make it up.

It is a real oldie time... Rod is a distance of measurement, and hogshead is a kind of volume. Yeah. Okay, so you wouldn't measure a distance into a volume then. Well, no, if you're doing miles per gallon, yes, you are. Oh, okay. All right, what did your math come up with? My math came out to 660 feet for 63 gallons of gas.

That's the same math I have. So not fuel efficient at all. So 0.125 miles for 63 gallons of gas. 0.002 miles per gallon, which is three times as bad as the M1 Abrams tank. Oh my God. What does Grandpa drive now?

I don't know. Stolen tank. I was confused because I... It's a tank with shitty mileage. I was confused because I give out rods

on my popular YouTube series Top 5 Babes and that's how I score. This prog is seven rods. Seven or 19 rods. To my hog's head. Someday I'll meet that 19 rod babes. This prog is seven rods. Seven or 19 rods to my hog's head. Someday I'll meet that 19 rod babes. Like, comment, and subscribe.

I had always thought he had made that up. I did not know hog's head was a real thing. I read a lot of old-timey books. Wow. Whenever I think of America's crappy measurement system compared to metric, I think of that. I think of the hog's head. Yep.

It's a real thing. We really should be on metric. I's as we're no better than stone like at least we don't make it grandpa doesn't know you're not supposed to drive an h all the time there's hills to accommodate for that's why his mileage is so bad how many liters of kerosene do you think jean and reese were really into the idea of wig i'm cross-dressing by the way too they got a lot of jokes out of that like an excuse to wear makeup Did anybody else think Bart's introduction to the Eternal Struggle

On the commentary they say it's supposed to be Criswell from Plan 9 But in Rao reminds me as proto-Bam Margera It is a guy talking to the camera saying I'm about to prank my dad and then shows his fat dad and makes fun of him.

Welcome to Jackass. I feel like this could have slightly inspired the Bam Margera delivery. I mean, I felt like it wasn't quite Rod Serling, but I see them, that they were trying to go for Criswell. But Criswell, you need bigger. Yeah. I predict. It's where we're all going to live. Live on colonized Mars by 1954.

But Bart's, his hair is a bit more like that though, I would say. Please watch it. And then, God, I love that movie. And then also we get to see

the Flanders to God scene, which is pretty cute. They shrink Todd down to baby size for this to work. And then Bob is cradling Todd like a very small version of Todd. True. No boy would float that fast. And we see God's five-fingered hand.

It literally is God saving Ned Flanders' child, which is a pretty outward move for God. So I would never complain about this episode. But in the middle of this season, it feels a hell of a lot like the Simpsons movie. Like it hits certain beats, like the town hall opening with television, like all of Springfield getting together and going over the top with jokes like this. And I mean,

these guys would eventually come up back aboard and write the Simpson. It just feels like people who are coming on board. Like I know the beats of this show. I got this. I can do whatever I'd like. It's somebody resuming something they used to do instead of being, they're getting back on the bicycle after a while instead of. Yeah, I don't mean that as an insult at all.

It's just there's a lot of high points. Seeing God, for instance, outside of a dream sequence is something I don't think any other episode would do. It's like it's nothing who literally saves Ned's child through prayer. When God intervened in Mr. Plow, we didn't see him. He just went, oh yeah. Though it seemed like they heard him. But yes, then we get the introduction of Jay into the world of The Simpsons.

I have to say one thing. I mean, they try to find a film critic and they say there's 600 film critics and Leonard Maltin's the most attractive. True. That is true. Never trust an attractive film critic. No way. Never. So you didn't like Roper very much. No is true. Never trust an attractive film critic. No way.

Never. So you didn't like Roper very much. No, I don't trust him. Richard Roper is a handsome dude. I don't trust him. That's someone who actually spends time not sitting on their ass. So then Harry Knowles is the best film critic. Obviously.

By that metric. By that metric. Jabba the Hutt is the best film critic. I would say that at that time, I thought Gene Siskel was more attractive than Leonard Maltin. Nah, Gene Shallock, bro. All the way. You get lost in that hair.

What you doing, Ma? I'm looking for a film critic to help judge our festival. Did you know there are over 600 critics on TV and Leonard Maltin is the best looking of them all? Ew. Welcome to Coming Attractions. I'm your host, Jay Sherman. Thank you. Tonight, we review an aging Charles Bronson in Death Wish 9.

I wish I was dead. I fucking hate that show. For the first time, Charles Bronson's voice is used on Charles Bronson. Yeah, you're right, Chris. That was cut from Mad Magazine. I hate that show. We can't use this panel. That film series had ended like almost a decade earlier.

Death Wish 5 had come out five years earlier. Before Bruce Willis made it relevant again or troubled times. I can't wait to see him murder black people on the street.

It's going to be really great. That movie series especially by Eli Roth it's a very racist by every fucking stretch of the imagination. Talk about sexual harassment

in the film industry is big now. If you watch that Electric Boogaloo film it's oh boy it is a the like death wish is filmed crimes against women like that's what it is you should uh while watching the series back to back be sure to drink every time charles bronson's daughter is raped to justify a mass vigilante a horrible yes and then it's really doesn't get to go on the spree. It's not none of the spit on your grave, his 45 shit there. They all get murdered.

No, no, she's catatonic after the first one. Sometimes, though, they get murdered or just assaulted. At some point, she is murdered. But also, in the films, it's really just an excuse for him to shoot black people in the back. It's wish fulfillment to be like, Jimmy Carter's not doing nothing. I'm an angry old man. I wish I could shoot these urban kids in the streets.

We just covered one of 302010 where he's, like Rambo, called back to do it again. Did this inspire Bernie Getz or was this post-Bernie Getz? It was post-Bernie Getz. Yeah, I don't know. No, no, that's why the film series is pretty fucking toxic it comes from a different era to justify vigilante justice is also a racist dude yeah and petty crime but it was just a dude who murders people and like deathless three is fun if you can disassociate

yourself from the crimes you're witnessing happening behind the scenes it is entertaining and how crazy it is if you think a guy stealing your tape player from your car deserves to be decapitated for his crime it's a great movie for you there's a great scene where he buys a camera like well i know this camera will be stolen from me within seconds by the many hoodlums here oh he did it cool that's all he's used i need giant desert eagle shoots him in the back and everybody applauds him murdering someone in the street yeah i mean at least crockett crockett would play a fun knife game with the criminal yeah no i've not heard him and again that that had to inspire so many real life murders and people who thought like well i'm the now i'm charles bronson right here i'm

inspired open carry yes but so yes death wish 5 was the last one and he would live bronson would not get his own death wish until seven years after this episode aired he would die in 2002 he wasn't in good health he had retired from acting by this point from poor health but he was technically still alive if you call that living uh but uh and jay's redesign is kind of in between he's kind of in between season one and season two, Jay. Season two, Jay, they say on the commentary, he's a smurf, basically. Yeah. And that's why it was so weird, because the Critic season one and two designs are slightly different. Very different.

They're very different. Actually, every character is different. I didn't have them on tape, so I hadn't seen the Critic in a few months. And you see him on The Simpsons, like, this is just what he looks like, I think. Yeah, well, they had to give him the overbite he doesn't have an overbite in the like any other celebrity guest we get and i think it's too bad they didn't include any of his other co-stars in the critic but i guess i get they're like it's hard enough to introduce jay sherman into the show if we had duke or doris or what if duke and Burns had a scene together? That'd be amazing.

Charles Napier. That'd be great, yes. I would say there's one other character from The Critic in here, because as I always say on the Talking Critic podcast, the fifth character is really the score. Yes. But in all series, it's like the clarinet, the woodwinds of The Critic come in this episode quite a bit. I give huge thumbs up to Alf Clausen and his team

capturing the Hans Zimmery score and the feel of the Gershwin feel of the critic soundtrack. The riff on Rhapsody in Blue. Totally. It plays on the streets of New York. But it's very fitting that he meets Rainier Wolfcastle like that. This was the smartest use of it.

So Arnold Schwarzenegger is real in the critic universe, but also in Springfield there's a character named Rainier Wolfcastle. Or no, in this version of New York, also in Springfield, there's a character named Rainier Wolfcastle. Or no, in this version of New York, in the Simpsons version of New York, Rainier Wolfcastle is real. Goes to New York. Well, so I want to dig more into this is that this is an alternate universe, Jay, because in the world of the Critic, Simpsons is a TV show. People watch on TV. Jay dresses up as Homer at a Halloween party.

He lives in a world where the Simpsons exist. So this is the Simpsons Dimensions Jay Sherman. Not the Jay Sherman who's on The Critic. Right now I'm on Matt Groening's side. This is problematic. This Jay Sherman does not the Jay Sherman we see on The Critic

does not remember going here because this is that universe's critic. Or maybe that universe's Jay Sherman agreed to be on The Simpsons as a guest star because he's a very famous critic. Oh, and so this episode aired within that world. Yes. Okay, wow. That's even better. You get the no prize.

My brain hurts. Thank you. But this is pretty great. But first, we have a special guest, Rainier Wolfcastle, star of the reprehensible McBain movie. Jay, my new film is a mix of action and comedy. It's called McBain. Let's get silly. Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up?

That's the joke. You suck, McBain! Now, my Woody Allen impression. I'm a neurotic nerd who likes to sleep with little girls. Hey, that really sucked! The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost 80 million dollars how do you sleep at night on top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies just asking there's at least

two memes buried in that clip yes oh first off that's the joke which is our line it feels should we just give this line to the show just because it's the quote? I think it has to be. That's the joke. Yes, that is the joke. I've seen that meme. I just saw that happen with Bill Corbett of MST3K. He did a joke on Twitter. Somebody replied to it like,

actually, that would be unfeasible if that were to happen. And then he replied with just, that's the joke. I'll tell you what, there are lots of bad people on Twitter. The worst people, some of the worst people next to Nazis are the joke police. They're like, your joke doesn't work. I have one way your joke wouldn't work. Actually, it technically wouldn't. So that's the joke he's used all the time.

Besides, you know, the pile of money and the many beautiful women. That too, yeah. As obviously being the other joke. Anytime the critic shows up means we got to make fun of Woodyody allen no matter what yeah that doesn't love it the because the best woody allen joke is on the the simpsons is i like those woody allen movies except for that nervous fellow it's the best woody allen joke i think my favorite simpsons woody allen joke is him in japan saying like these crackers will drive you bananas uh what did I do to deserve this? Oh, right. Yeah. That is the best Woody Allen joke.

Well, the Simpsons never got that harsh with a celebrity scandal. They really didn't like celebrity gags all that much. This episode has way more named celebrities in it than others. It's steered away from things you might get bummed out by, such as Woody Allen fucking his daughter. Yeah, it's kind of a bummer. It's a bit of a bummer. Unless you're into that Pornhub channel.

I don't know, maybe. That's more of a recent development. As Space Ghost would say, you're bringing me down, man. But yeah, whenever I think of rich people who don't give a shit about making bad things, I think of on top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies,

which again is like, well, how do you make such garbage because it makes me rich and then i have sex like i'm very fulfilled in all these ways who i don't give a shit about art why we make these podcasts exactly all the money and the beautiful ladies it was just so fitting that raymere wolf castle would be on the show even though jay should ask him like well wait why aren't you arnold schwarzenegger like arnold schwarzenegger exists in the simpsons universe i mean later he would he's the president of the simpsons that's right i hate that yeah i'd never had you guys ever heard the term ears are burning before this i have and i will say i think this might be my favorite homer one-liner of all

time oh really wow of just stupid homer getting so stupid in a nice compact joke. I'm going to play the clip right here. I like him. He's smart. He's sensitive. He's clearly not obsessed with his physical appearance. My ears are burning. Uh, I wasn't talking about you, Dad.

No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside, so I lit a Q-tip. Well, the idea that he had to lit a Q-tip. Everything about just the logistics of like, okay, well, obviously you lean into the mirror. Well, that's not working. Maybe you can do two mirrors. Yeah, you need a second mirror. No, it's too dark in there.

I need like a little torch. Hey, these look like tiny torches. I'll just light it on fire and then stick it in my ear. Maybe I can see it now. And then his ear is still smoking. Was that where his gummy bear was stuck? Oh, that could be it. A pimple or a boil.

Neither pimple nor boil. It's a gummy bear. I assume that was like on his back or something. But yes, then Marge opens the door finally to the crossover to begin. Dear Mr. Sherman, on behalf of the people of Springfield, I would like to invite you

to judge our film festival. You can stay with us and enjoy the sights and behalf of the people of Springfield, I would like to invite you to judge our film festival. You can stay with us and enjoy the sights and sounds of the country. Marge, is this a pimple or a boil? Just a minute, Homer. Look what you made me write. Anyway, we think you'll really enjoy our quiet little town. Sincerely, Marge Simpson. Do I really want to leave Manhattan?

Sherman, I just realized you insulted me. Now you will die. Hey, Nutnick, your shoe's untied. From here they appear to be tied, but I will go in for a closer look. Taxi! To the airport! On closer inspection, these are loafers that was dan castellanetta doing that joke that they did an attempt track the then harry sheer just phoned in and did his part for it up yeah

and we pointed this out on talking critic but this story beat would come up later in the critic jay insults john paul la pope's movie and then john paul la pope comes after him yes and in this episode rainier wolf castle comes after jay that will be weeks later in the show though in john paul la pope's case who is jean-claude van damme uh character he never really wanted to kill jay rainier does want to kill jay in the street yeah the it was a funnier time when the idea of somebody walking down the street when the ak-47 was like this is funny not uh oh this is depressing it's a very arched line though of like uh do i really want to leave new york like yeah you're really you're just asking for a comedy thing to come at you if you say do i really want to leave new york with an open

question like that i also said on, on closer inspection, a million times when restating an obvious thing. I'm more fascinated about it than Nick. It's just a word I came across in Mad Magazine 8,000 times.

Yep. Good old Yiddish. Yiddish has so many descriptive words for people you don't like. Mad Magazine snuck so much Yiddish in the kids' brains.

It's great. It was a Jewish conspiracy, sounds like. It was. I kid, I kid. Making me choke down that Borscht Belt humor every single day. Sergio Aragonese is the... Spaniard.

So that airplane landing from New York is such a weak joke, too. Again, like, hey, I'm flying here. Like, ah, very funny. That's what they do in New York. And graffiti. It's a very critique-y joke, which is like, I feel like Simpsons would have been better than that. And then, yes. Okay, you found my trash can.

Yeah, exactly. Same deal. I also love, it's a very visual gag, so I didn't get it, but Homer rewriting Simpsons three times in a row. I love that. I've done that, too, of just like, oh, I know I wrote the wrong thing, but for some reason you keep writing it the wrong way even though you know it's wrong and then we find out that it was a gummy bear not a pit bull or a boil witch they didn't have to return to that joke i kind of liked it going back to that yeah so uh homer and homer napoo has a sucker stuck to him at all times oh yeah like a reserve gummy bear too

i guess so that one seems to be unintentional yeah uh, so then we get the line that this joke was by Al Jean to kind of hang a lantern on the obviousness of the commercial, of the consumery reason for this crossover. Coming up next, the Flintstones meet the Jetsons.

Uh-oh. I smell another cheap cartoon crossover. Bart Simpson, meet Jay Sherman, the critic. Hello. Hey, man. I really love your show.

I think all kids should watch it. I suddenly feel so dirty. It seems like it would have been enough. Like, relax, Matt. There. We acknowledged it. It was meant to defang it, but I don't think it totally did. It sent me down a spiral of, like, this was not the second cartoon crossover.

This actually happened all the time. It happens so often it's not worth mentioning no but at that point fuck yeah jetsons meet the flintstones was the most popular reference yeah i mean i i don't think i could get through it as a kid it should have been it sucked it should have been as a child all i wanted was to like it and i get bored it's worse than than 1960s Hanna-Barbera animation, but slightly better, but worse in a different way, in a filmation-y kind of way. Yeah, it's awful. It's a 1987 made-for-TV movie and clearly Mel Blanc and George O'Hanlon are dying, audibly. And you're right, it is so boring and the plot is awful. Elroy goes back in time and shenanigans ensue.

We have a clip here of really, here's when they meet for the first time what are we doing fred they might not even be around anymore he's there he's peeking around from behind a tree we have to show it because we're both heads there's two of them dad are they young and good-looking wrong on both counts Holy cow is horrid that guy's third head is a girl Well find out if one of those three heads knows how to talk, okay, okay? Yeah, but dab a friend well one thing the people of the future don't waste any words Friend try it For one thing, the people of the future don't waste any words. Hey, Dad, I think he said friend. Try it.

Oba doba, friend. Hey, did you recognize that word, Bon? Which one, oba or doba? He said friend. Come on, let's take a chat. Get on with it. You can hear Mel Blanc's feeding tube. They have 90 minutes to pad out with this shit.

But you're with me. Maybe an hour. I don't know, but it's too long. No, it was two hours. It was two hours of commercials. It's two hours of commercials. I looked into this too much because otherwise, why should I even be here? But I loved the Flintstones as a kid, undiscerningly.

It was a cartoon that was on. This is a big deal. I watched all of them. They hadn't crossed over except for one NES game where the last level is in the Chesson's universe. Oh, you're right. It connects everything. It does.

But this is even worse. Oh, very much so. It aired in September of 1987 in syndication, the second of ten of Hanna-Barbera's Superstars X series, which is like this cynical strengthening of Hanna-Barbera shoveling its library everywhere. We'll make it more relevant by making new films and this is one of the only ones that significantly crossed over can you believe this hadn't happened

yeah 25 years especially because the of the 70s hannah barbara stuff they all crossed all crossed over the laugh olympics had them all meet each other but not flintstones no flintstones the prime time characters of flstones and Jetsons Weren't included in that It was all the morning characters Was 87 also the Jetsons movie? No That was 89

89 But like this is significant to me Which was also god awful Oh god Because I saw the promos And believe me I did my work I tried to look up the promos

The best promo for this Is the worst thing you've ever heard In one channel of audio I don't know why they hired this 16 year old girl to do the promo. It's disgusting. But I missed it. And like television back in the day, you missed it.

It's done. And it came out on video. So I remember every week going to the video store, and it's always gone. It's that popular for like a year. And I finally saw it. Just your reaction, Bob. This is so boring. This is so fucking boring.

All you had to tell me is that the Flintstones live underneath the Jetsons. Instead, they invent multiple methods of time travel. It's time travel. At the end, they're able to go back in time even when the time machine is broken because enough chronitons are in

Fred's car. Which they try to sell the power of love maybe kind of yeah it's don't need a credit card to ride this train well also in that clip it had the thing that drove me crazy in first viewing of just like he george sorry first viewing yeah well only viewing only viewing is a kid but george jetson never had a yabba-dabba-doo. He didn't have one. He had a Jane Stopp is crazy thing. Yeah, but he didn't have, but they give him ooba-dooba and they pretend that he's always said it.

Oh my God. And so in that scene where he's just like, ooba-dooba, yabba-dabba, no, he didn't. You can't just make up a catchphrase for him to say that it's equally evident. He didn't get out of the cock-a-doodie car. Yes! I'm not an e-oop-orc-uh-uh. That means I'll do that. I've said it a thousand billion times.

Hanna-Barbera is the closest animation gets to improv. It's clearly the first. Every script is a first draft. It's awful. It's so sad to think that they were like the A-team of animation i'd rather watch a hannah barbara cartoon than a filmmation one that's what the pac-man animated series team and i was just just yelling with a guest slash on facebook that warner brothers eventually bought hannah barbara and now they have these figures what get all your favorite warner brothers characters bugs daffy porky speedy quick

drama i'm like no do not taint your brand with these fucking characters like do not make them as irrelevant do not make bugs and daffy as irrelevant as hannah barbara characters yeah and rant i am so sorry simpson yeah we are stuck on this i want to point out one more thing bart says i think all kids should watch it that's interesting he didn't say i think everyone should watch it because bill oakley told us adults didn't watch the simpsons at this era so it was a kid show and that that could account for the softening of the critic like we're gonna make this more kid friendly in a way yeah that makes sense yeah uh having like the only fingering joke

i ever heard on television at that point the jetsons didn't get original animation that they started again after the movie so they had flintstones meet the Jetsons, then the new series of Jetsons that they made for syndication. That was early 80s. That was before the... Oh, that's right. And then the movie. And after the movie, there wasn't a new Jetsons solo thing until their crossover with WWE this year. I knew it.

Give or take a Kanye West video. Yes, yeah. Well, they do appear in an episode of Harvey Birdman, which is actually pretty funny because they make fun of how totally stupid and useless all of them are. And how the Judsons was just one joke. Can we get onto that ogre, Mr. Burns? Yes.

I don't know. Can't we talk more about Hanna-Barbera cartoons? You talk about it yourselves. I don't know what's happening. It seems our profits have dropped 37%. I'm afraid we have a bad image, sir. Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre. I ought to club them and eat their bones.

Well, maybe this film festival could help us. A film biography might let them get to know the real you. Virtuous, heroic, nubile. You left out pleasant. But I like that film biography idea. A slick Hollywood picture to gloss over my evil rise to power like Bugsy or Working Girl. Get me Steven Spielberg.

He's unavailable. Then get me his non-Union Mexican equivalent. Listen, Senor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oscar Schindler. Schindler es bueno. Senor Burns es el diablo. Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We're both factory owners.

We both made shells for the Nazis. But mine worked, damn it. Now go out there and win me that festival. Oh, man. I'd only got seen Schindler's List when this episode came out. That is all my line of the show. All of it. Yeah, yeah.

All of it. Non-union Mexican equivalent is also a meme that I abuse. I love it. All of it. I have to club them and eat their bones. And he clubs Smithers in the head, too. It is strange how the plot changes from Springfield needs to improve his image to Mr. Burns needs to improve his image. Yes, halfway through, Mr. Burns just shoves himself into it.

For the better. They know Mr. Burns makes every script better. And probably they were thirsty. As writers, they were thirsty for Mr. Burns. They're like, I miss know Mr. Burns makes every script better. And probably they were thirsty. As writers, they were thirsty for Mr. Burns. They're like, I miss writing Mr. Burns. Even Duke isn't the same. He gets a different musical sting than usually. He gets a Darth Vader theme.

He does get the Imperial March. It's happened before. And that's what reminds me of old people coming back to their show. Because the joke happened way earlier on. But this is a way more bombastic version. It's quite it's quite and i like his easy that he just throws out there oh yeah i made bombs for the nazis they worked they worked damn it i've had lots of american industrialists worked with the nazis before they were officially our enemies yeah that's true do we have to look up phantom yeah there's lots of words we could say bear aspirin anyway uh anyway do we have to look up phantom yeah there's lots of words we could say anyway uh anyway do we have to explain the thing from chindler's list that there's a point where

you know he's got basically uh concentration camp slave labor in his factory and he's basically you know i mean he's trying to keep them safe if you're on chindler's list you're not going to die in a gas chamber but yeah but they got to keep working at this factory and they're making munitions and and at least in the movie he keeps recalibrating the machine secretly so that the shells aren't good the idea being like these these people are you're asking these people to make the bullets that are going to kill them so yeah yeah but mr burns doesn't fall for that shit and he probably used slave labor too your schindler's List is pretty good. I've burned. Yeah. They also stick with the continuity that Jay...

So Jay's at dinner. I kind of wish Jay and Homer's stomachs actually talked to each other. We got to hear the snagglepuss voice that Jay's stomach has. But there is some credit continuity in this scene at the dinner table. Jay does have two Pulitzers. The episode Eye on the Prize, he gets a Pulitzer in, I believe, the 70s or the 80s, and then he gets another one in that episode for something. We don't actually hear the...

Oh, wait, no. It's the movie stinks. Just don't go. We don't know what the first Pulitzer was for. And it highlighted why I like... Jay Sherman is a lot like Homer, with the exception of the respect of his peers. Well, he is smart. Not good at what he does.

He's a food monster, but he's also very smart and area he's an ugly fat loser yeah but he's still different than homer boy can he sing yeah also not a drunkard too uh it's also weird to be him showing off to the family that much i think jay has the maury slomarch belch which we would hear later in the episode. But I think it's, I feel so bad for Homer that Bart literally gives him Homer's award for best Belch. It's like, oh, poor Homer. The one thing he had. Yeah.

That they give it away. There's like a weird C-plot in this episode about Marge possibly leaving Homer for Jay. There's a lot going on. Yes, there's. I'm not saying it's a bad episode. I'm just saying it's kind of mixed up in what it wants to do. It's pretty mangled and i do like that much like arty ziff uh jay sherman is into marge's sisters so then i said to woody allen well camu can do but sartre is smartra

yeah well scooby doo can dooo but jimmy carter is smarter okay sherman you're a movie expert so tell us who's gay oh i don't know harvey feierstein no her incredulousness at harvey feier. The most gay person in the world. I did not get that as a kid. The only notable movie I can think of that he's in is Mrs. Doubtfire, but he's in the second season. Independence Day, Chris. And he's murdered in Independence Day by a giant fireball. Was he one of the first out actors?

He was quite out for a long time. I think he was most famous at first for the area he rose to fame on broadway for the torch song trilogy which was one of the very few openly gay plays on broadway at the time but the yeah the big deal that's the joke of this and it's still really funny that's like that's the one person everybody knows is gay no no there I remember there was people joking that when he was cast in a recent-ish production of Fiddler on the Roof that they said, this has to be the

first time he's ever played a straight man in anything. Uncle Frank and Aunt Jack. Homer tells Jay to tell Patty and Selma that MacGyver is gay, which is... They're still carrying the torch for MacGyver. MacGyver's been off the air for at least three years. Yeah, that joke sucks they know they said macgyver not richard dean anderson it's a very important legal issue that they say macgyver is gay the character macgyver

it's an invention gone wrong yes yeah but i can't reverse it though i disagree with jay i prefer camu to sartre i think that camus has more emotion and humanism to his work, while I think Sartre is more clinical and removed. Who wrote The Plague? Is that Camus? Yes. Okay, I like him. Yeah, I also love The Stranger is my favorite.

I want to knock all of your books out of your heads right now. Albert Camus, The Stranger, you guys should read it. This guy was just screaming about the Flintstones meet the Jetsons. We contain multitudes, people. What about Eudora Welty? I mean... Well, though, if you guys really want to get into existentialism,

I suggest Franz Kafka's work. He is my favorite existentialist. Probably because he has the most father issues. I like the peanuts. It is my favorite existential cartoon in the universe. It is, it is.

Why do we bother doing anything? It just ends in failure. Sartre's most famous work, Jean-Paul Sartre's most famous work, I would say, is No Exit. It's his most famous, so check that out. Which is, hell is other people, is the answer to that. It's true. And Eudora Welty is a Pulitzer Prize winning novelist. I studied literature for a long time, but I never read her.

But unfortunately, whenever I see her in the library or the bookstore, I think of that belch yes she's scarred forever is it needlessly mean well the joke is that she is i don't know anything about her personally she is a very thin southern woman who was born in 1909 so she was the the joke is to conjure an elderly woman belching at that level is funny it's funny it is a funny visual she and that day is jay is dating her and crusty dates her later yeah i just didn't know if she was like you know america's rose or some shit like that no but she i only checked to see if any of her books were made into movies i suck at this kind of research i would think i would think they just looked at a list of every pulitzer prize winner and just found the funniest one they're like well like

what she did win a pulitzer for her book in 1973. The Optimist's Daughter. I wrote that part down. Also, Eudora Welty is a funny name. It's a funny name. It's the funniest name they could pull. And I'm on Homer's side, too. Jimmy Carter is better than Scooby-Doo. Scooby-Doo can do-do. But him doing Harvey Fierstein

was only because John Lovitz played Harvey Fierstein on SNL in a somewhat homophobic sketch now. Was it the Harvey Fierstein on SNL in a somewhat homophobic sketch now. Was it the Harvey Fierstein show? Just wanna be loved, is that so cruel? You let closeted John Lovitz play whatever gay he likes on stage.

He's got quite the young girlfriend. Does he? Many beautiful ladies. I wear many beards. He also owns a comedy store now. I think that's over oh i looked up it might have been it in like scandal well it's just so weird because it's like you're not a stand-up you're an actor dude i was i was there at universal studios when the simpsons opened up and yes the john lovett's comedy club and it's like there's certain faces you don't want to plaster in led

lights like the size of two stories and it's like, could you have dressed them up a little bit? It's just like an open shirt, smile, 16 chins. I haven't been to that one, but I have been to the Brad Garrett Comedy Club in Vegas. Very funny, by the way. They advertise, it's like, Brad Garrett could drop in. You never know. Do all that stand-up we know him for. I've seen Brad Garrett, yes.

I like the animation of him hanging from his underwear, too. Sorry, Nate. Bob John and Diana Tsang. Then we get another hot dog song, which lets John Lovett sing, as he is so good at. He needs to sing in every episode he's in. Marge, do you respect my intelligence? Yes! Okay.

Wait a minute. Why did it take you so long to say yes? No reason. Okay. Wait a minute. Are you humoring me? Yes. Okay.

Wait a minute. That's bad. Look, I know I'm not witty like that critic guy, but does he know all the words to the Oscar Mayer song? Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener. That is what I'd truly like to be. Because if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, everyone would be in love with me

So two things. One is a Algena Mike Reese trademark. It is padding out the show with a joke that takes a long time. In this case, it's worth it. It's not floating heads around a character. Second thing, this is their second stab at the 1960s Wiener Wars. In the episode Lady Bouvier's Lover we had the Armor Hot Dog song.

In this episode we have the Oscar Meyer Wiener song. And yes, they invented these songs to fight each other in the Wiener Wars of the 60s. These were diss tracks? These were diss tracks. Oh my god. Kind of. It was like, we can make the better Wiener anthem, sir. Oh, I'd love to be an Oscar Mayer wiener.

That is what I'd truly like to be. Cause if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, everyone would be in love with me. A big parade is so inspiring. Oh, I'm

glad I'm not an Oscar Mayer wiener. What? That's like Milhouse. That is what I never want to be. Because if I were an Oscar Mayer wiener, there would soon be nothing left of me. Oh,

I love to be an Oscar Mayer wiener. Forced conformity. That's the 50s for you. You didn't see this at home, everybody, but he was almost about to get lynched Yes And that kid Yeah He's okay now

That kid's dead For daring to doubt being an Oscar Mayer winner Killed by his hot dog choice But he was right If he were an Oscar Mayer winner He'd be eaten I've never seen anybody Who wished they wanted to be the product

Yes And why do we know Was this song Jingle So Going It was around in the 80s and 90s Yeah well I knew it because The Wienermobile returned in my childhood Why do we know? Was this song, Jingle So Going, in the 80s? It was around in the 80s and 90s, too. I knew it because the Wienermobile returned in my childhood. My mom was a big fan of the Wienermobile. Oh, yeah, the Wienermobile.

And the weenie whistle. I bet she was. All right. My question is, where are the tough kids eating Armor Hot Dogs to get that kid's back? That's true. They should have had his back. He is one of the sissy kids who loves Armor Hot Dogs. You were right.

I'm now more of a Nathan's guy. Or Hebrew nationalism. Hell yeah. Beef. All beef, baby. Because, you know, pork, you can't eat it, not even with a fork. I eat fake hot dogs. That's a great callback.

You wussy. We'll talk about your rampant vegetarianism in the next episode. Humorless vegetarianism. Humorless. That's also when Homer cuts out a lock of Marge's hair, which really is a carpet sample. It's a huge chunk of her hair. So in this episode, in Lisa's wedding, Homer eats an entire suckling pig, and there's a lock of Marge's hair featured as a plot point. A very minor plot point.

Yeah, that amount of hair actually reminds me of the hair running off of her body in Simpsons ex fragilis to go sell a dose you know or when i forget episode it's in where homer is trimming the bushes and he cuts off a big chunk of the front yeah no wonder i couldn't remember it they did more jokes about her hair back then uh then we get i didn't collect that one but get a quick set of clips of the people auditioning to be uh burns and it is so critically... Very critically. Shatner appears in his... Simpsons would never do a Shatner. In his Star Trek outfit. Yeah, but which one? Is that like Generations?

It looks like one of the movies. Yeah, one of the 80s movies. It's the late movies ones. Like the 456, because they had to get them as... Well, I hate girdles, but... A great movie, by the way. Yeah. It somehow is the most 70s they ever looked, including the time they made a movie in the 70s.

Well, there's a reason they had to add belts to it, because they got older. They got older and fatter. But it's like the Santa frill stuff on the shoulders. Like piping or whatever. Yeah, like pipe cleaners attached to it. Well, when you compare it to the suits at the then current Next Generation,

those were full-body jumpsuits with clean lines. They were all in shape. Yeah, you could not be fat in those. You had to be in good shape or it would show any bulges. Unless you worked behind the bar whooping. The one thing that saves this little montage is when we're saying, exactly. That's another meme that might be just for me. I think of that all the time.

Exactly. And I like that it convinces Burns that he has to play himself, which is what he wanted to do for me. Yes. The Hibbert Rocky Horror bit is a little odd, but I did like it as a kid just because it was right around when I discovered Rocky Horror

through reruns on Comedy Central, which it is one of my favorite musicals. Dude, I've still never seen it. Really? I used to play the soundtrack all the time. It's fine. Whoa! No, I love the idea of, I mean,

Hibbert, like the squarest guy ever, being dressed up as Frank and Furter, and that they brought that joke back, like, two years ago? No, I shouldn't. For Adult Halloween, wasn't it? I thought exactly. But he is.

He's dressed almost like Sean Connery from Zardoz, but I think he's just a generic devil. Oh, okay. All right. I thought someone was dressed as Frank N. Carter. It was Hibbert. It is. Well, he's dressed.

He has on a red leather thong. Right. No, so he's dressed as Zardoz, not as Frank N. Carter. It's just a generic devil. I think they were all just supposed to be sexy. But you've seen Hibbert's upper thigh more than once. I mean, at the Do What You Feel festival,

doesn't he snap Wiggum's undies wearing very, like, They're both, no, no, no, that's in Krusty Gets Cancelled. They're both wearing undies

as inspired by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I see. Though, the only characters, the only costumes I remember from Adult Halloween

is the couple's costume of the Van Houtens where Llewellyn, no, Luann, I say it wrong every time luan van houten she's dressed as a squirrel and kirk is completely nude except for a giant uh acorn covering his genitals and i was like boy that's really risky everybody sees your butt uh all right but then we get uh we get to see everybody's films which i like all three of the films. How we

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and much more. Making your usage clearer, your trips greener your home cozier and your world brighter find our net zero hub at electricireland.ie the the title parody has nothing to do with the actual movie they're completely unrelated in every case which is pretty funny well they can do like two jokes i guess two kind of movie parodies which is what they did on the show it feels like they burned off some shitty episode titles for later seasons. And the critic, they always thought, it always felt like they thought of the title of the movie first. And they're like, well, I guess we got to do a minute of jokes.

Oh, a mad TV joke. Yeah, exactly. Help! Help! Police! Hey, I got problems of my own right now. Oh, boy. This is going to get worse before it gets better.

Next, we have Moe the Bartender in Moe Better Booze. Money gets you one more round. Drink it down, you stupid clown. Money gets you one more round. You're out on your ass. Whoa! Ah, my back! Hans Mo Man Productions presents Man Getting Hit by Football. This contest is over.

Give that man the $10,000. This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos. But the ball is growing. It works at so many levels. Roll it again. That's another line I hear all the time. It works at so many levels. I never heard that. Definitely never heard that

until this episode. So we should dig into the movie references. Diana, I think you should go take over here. So Bright Lights Beef Jerky. uh the first one's uh based on bright lights big city starring uh max j fox i had never heard of this movie until now i've heard the phrase bright lights big city but i just watched a trailer for the first time like yesterday i'm like oh this was a movie i had no idea most michael j fox movies are forgotten if they're not back to the future it seemed like a brett easton ellis kind of story almost yeah i think it is and then uh mo better boo oh wait one second i want to say that the actual movie feels like it's referencing clerks in some way where clerks was the year

before black and white convenience store story simpsons would have had writers would have had to be at sundance sex lies in videotape maybe maybe black and white films filmed that cheaply but I think more it was just I think it was implying the only way Apu could make a film is by using his

maybe it was too late for cameras yeah or too early alright so Mo' Better Booze the title's Mo' Better Blues the Spike Jonze film

Spike Lee Spike Lee god damn it I always do that Spike Lee joint it's the one everybody forgets about in between

Do the Right Thing and Malcolm X but it's got Wesley Snipes and Denzel Washington that is the music one of his I always do that. Spike Lee joint. It's the one everybody forgets about, In Between, Do the Right Thing, and Malcolm X. But it's got Wesley Snipes and Denzel Washington. That is the music one of it. It is, yes. Right. And obviously the way Mo looks and the singing and dancing is cabaret.

Right, and we have the clip. Very specifically the money song. You stupid clown. Yes. Money. Money makes the world go round. The world go round. The world go round. Money makes the world go round. The world go round. The world go round.

Money makes the world go round. It makes the world go round. A mark, a yen, a buck, or a pound. A mark, a yen, a buck, or a pound. It's all that makes the world go round. The clinking, clanging sound. It makes the world go round. Yes. There you go. I love that film.

I love that film so much. So there's something about a man wearing a lot of rouge that's just off-putting. It comes real close to kissing a woman. Especially on Mo. Yeah. So yeah, he's clearly the Joel Grey. Which, by the way, Joel Grey only came out recently. What?

Yeah, well, he's had heterosexual relationships before. Clearly the Joel Grey, which by the way, Joel Grey only came out recently. What? Yeah. Well, he's had heterosexual relationships before. He is the father of Jennifer Grey. Oh, I see. So he had women in his life for even though everybody's like, dude, you're gay. But his coming out thing was basically him saying like, I now choose to live as a gay man. It's a spectrum. Which he said before.

Yeah, it is a spectrum. But he says he's officially gay now. Which is good, because the clip you just showed me is the gayest thing I've seen in any monitor in this room in a long time. Cabaret is a very gay film. Well, actually, it's a very bi film. I don't want to do bi erasure on it, because the lead character in it really is, like, bi.

Copping using gay for camp because that is like the fucking campiest thing I've ever seen. Excruciatingly campy thing I've ever seen. I have not seen this movie. But it is also about the rise of Nazism too and how it just kind of sneaks by. Not in that clip. Not in that clip. His song about the

ape that's very much about anti-Semitism. Anyway, so man getting hit by football yeah let's talk about i love i love the old timey piano leading into it like it's a silent film yes yes except it is that you hear is groaning except for the that little boink noise it's not used at any other point in the simpsons and i think uh america's funny some videos was inescapably the number one show forever. Even this time. Is it still

on TV? As AFB? It's hosted by Alfonso Ribeiro. Taking over for, Jesus, what's his name? Tom Fugle? Tom Bergeron. I have to come out here, speaking of Cabaret. I'll come out right now. America's Funniest Home Videos, it's like

Facebook videos, the show. It's fantastic. It's on every time I go to my parents' house. It predicted the internet. It did. It's fantastic. It's funnier than almost any. It has a better laugh quotient than any show on television. I know no one respects it, and that's fine. And some of our favorite MST3K writers finally

got to make money by working on this show. It's true. And I think it was popular. Like, what other network puts something on at 7 p.m.? Like, that show's been on at 7 p.m. for two decades. And I don't think Fox still puts anything on at 7 p.m.

Just a big bang theory in my town. One of the most heartfelt and sincere opening songs ever. Your red, white, and blue. The funny things you do. Stories from your friends next door. They held the mirror up to America and we did not like what we saw

I like that Barney can't remember he made a movie since after he said he made a movie unfortunately titled Pucahontas that joke sucks it does suck it's bad you can tell it was a rewrite too we mention this all the time on Talking Critic

how it's like Gene and Race needed to just have more faith in their first draft. Because every time they redo it, you're like, this joke can't be funnier than the one you replaced it with. Because this is not funny. But anyway, yes, here's Barney's film. My name is Barney Gumbel. I'm 40, I'm single, and I drink. There's a line in Othello about a drinker. Thou a sensible man,

by and by a fool, presently a beast. That pretty well covers it. It's brilliant. Savagely honest, tender. He has the soul of a poet. You're very kind. Excuse me, did something crawl down your throat and die? It didn't die.

My name is Barney, and I'm an alcoholic. Mr. Gumbel, this is a Girl Scout meeting. Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem don't cry for me i'm already dead that's the first time i recognized that was a bottle opening over the the end of the movie. I say that last line all the time.

That definitely got meme-fied. I like that one a lot. Yeah, one thing I noticed for the first time is that I remember in Boy Scouts and the Hood, they couldn't say Boy Scout.

They had to say Junior Campers. But in this episode, they do say Girl Scouts, so maybe there was less of a fear of litigation. Maybe. Because the joke's

not on the Girl Scouts. Yeah, they're not making it look bad. Yeah, they're not making it look bad. Barney is the bad one, yeah. Yeah, I guess. And I like design-wise, you can tell it was a church basement, which is where AA meetings often take place.

Or improv sessions. Yes. Well, we did our improv sessions in a newspaper. In the hollowed-out husk of the San Francisco Chronicle, which literally had a course to teach civilians how to use WordPress. Yeah, the Chronicle building. Somebody's got to do it.

That could not have been more salt than a wound. We got to see the newspapers dying in front of us. But visually, it's very inspired by Kwanzaa Squatsy, among other. And Calvin Klein commercial. Well, the time lapse of the clouds is very Kwan-Skwazi. Kwan-Skwazi. Life out of balance. And the music is from Madame Butterfly.

Yeah, that's Unbeldi, the famous aria from Puccini's Madame Butterfly. Just about to say that. And the animation is beautiful. I think Susie Dieter said this is the proudest she's ever been of anything she's done. Yeah. At least in 2004, whenever DVDs came out. Dude, they have every right to be. This shit rules.

And you know it wasn't easy. It's fun to watch. It's really fun to watch. The elderly Barney too on it is just like there's like a line on his neck which you could say is a mistake but it's like no maybe he put on a mask for this.

Like that was his makeup. But you could tell they weren't confident enough to show the entire short. They have to cut away to Barney to have a joke and then continue with the very serious short.

They didn't have the balls to not have a joke for that long. I think there's some groaner jokes in there, saved by Danny Castellanet's performance. As Barney, as usual, can't admit you have a problem. That joke sucks, but that line is amazing. Also that he admits, like, oh, something did crawl down

my throat. It continues to live. Great. Whatever. He sounds kind of, he sounds a little offended that you let that thing die no it didn't it didn't die he's a good owner of it so i also like in shows where they have to tell you that the audience either likes or doesn't like something just so you know it's supposed to be good so everybody applauds it's also a nice little low-key joke that homer misses the movie but because he's getting a beer he He comes in holding a beer.

And that's when we find out there's only one film left, which is also full of stuff. I cut the very beginning gag with Mexico just because I didn't want the clip to be like 90 seconds long. But I do love the gag that Burns is celebrating that Mexico would... He's like, Mexico would celebrate me bringing jobs here and taking them away from American workers. And also the intro is very, it's the overture to Ben-Hur. It's not, isn't it? Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. They said on the commentary, the title card is a parody of. Agony and the Ecstasy. Agony and the Ecstasy. Yeah. Yeah. The title card is total Agony and the Ecstasy, which is about Michelangelo.

Wait. Yeah. Yeah. Michelangelo. It's about pink dropping into Charlton Heston's eyes yeah and uh

yeah it burns for all seasons obviously man for all seasons which is a great movie and everyone should watch self indulgent stripe I don't care what they say

I'm going to win this festival Drink up, Judah Ben-Hur. You truly are the king of kings. Excellent. Smithers, are they booing me? No, they're saying boo-erns. Boo-erns. Are you saying boo or boo-erns?

Boo! I was saying boo-erns. Another meme. Line of the show number two, please. I'll give it to you. Come come on I think of that every day that's the joke it could have just stopped with they were saying Boo Ernst

but then Mole Man was inexplicably saying Boo Ernst he really was I feel like I was remembered waiting to hate that joke and just the tag at the end I love it so much that i was saying boo everyone says it all the time in my life it is such a memeified thing so that first i did like the et scene because they animate how alien burns actually is when he's like standing in the walking

around with his arms up in t-Rex style. A human love. Yes. But secondly, then, yeah, we get kind of, it is a scene from Ben-Hur, though the line, I didn't get the clip from Ben-Hur because it really is just silent. It is Ben-Hur has been refused water. He's been turned into a slave. He's been refused water all day.

I just watched this movie. And Christ gives him water. Not a plastic water bottle, though, as it is watched this movie. And Christ gives him water. Not a plastic water bottle, though, as it is in the movie. That's great. I love that extra thing. It's a tiny little detail. He meets Christ earlier in the movie. And I thought it was a reference to King of Kings,

which has the distinction of being the only movie my father has ever bought himself on VHS. No idea why. It's not. Even though that's the first movie to ever show Jesus Christ's face because it's still an overshadowed shot in the sequence and it

you know the speaking US movie they treated him very like Muhammad in all these billion movies about the fucking Bible I love that I got to say

fucking Bible in 2017 but I just watched Ben-Hur because it was on TCM but also because how the fuck do you remake this movie I was going to say

we all forgot as a society that they remade Ben remade been heard they've got its own xbox game technically the charlton heston one's a remake it is yeah yeah they've done it three times the end of the movie is jesus h christ how do you do that in 2017 because that that is the end of the film yeah well they probably hope to market it to Christians. They didn't, though. They didn't. That's really stupid. They marketed it as an action movie. They should have. If you market it to Christians, then they feel it's their duty to see it to support righteous filmmaking.

Yeah, like Passion 2, Ben-Hur style. That would have been great to see them destroying 4K copies of Ben-Hur. Well, speaking of the Passion. Yeah, the Hartman doing Heston, Truly You Are the King of Kings. Which is the only appearance of Hartman in this episode. I was sure he did some other voice and he did not. That is the shortest appearance of Phil Hartman in any

Heston's episode. Two things. There's a very uncomfortable moment on the commentary where Lois is like Hartman stole that impression from me! And then they're arguing about it. He's like, if I'm wrong may he walk in the room right now! May he walk in the room in now. May he walk in the room and deny it.

Yes. But the line is actually a misremembered line from the greatest story ever told. It's John Wayne saying it. So let's hear it. It is John Wayne's cameo.

Truly this man was the son of God. No room for the late man. Why would he feel that after just watching him die on the cross he hasn't been resurrected yet that did it i get well god is i'm convinced because yeah greatest story ever told is not an especially good version of the jesus uh story and all that but you like the r-rated

mel gibson cut well mostly because there's like distracting cameos like that it's like there's of, I mean, maybe they're less distracting now if you don't know who these people are. But, I mean, when John Wayne walks up dressed as a centurion and there's this big moment of like, he's on the cross and father, why have you forsaken me? And then fucking John Wayne rolls up in fucking Roman gear. You're like, wait, what? This is like the mad, mad, mad, mad world of biblical epics. Why are the three stooges stabbing Jesus? It's like me in a movie with Jesus or I'm going to get a new agent.

It would be like if George Clooney or Matt Damon just shows up in a film now that they weren't even advertised for. Yeah, it'd be like, wait. They only do that on Jimmy Kimmel segments. Well, especially you're supposed to be feeling, I would think the filmmakers want you to be feeling a lot of things in that moment that aren't related to like, wow, that's John Wayne. They want you to be feeling a lot of things in that moment that aren't related to like wow that's john wayne they want you to be feeling the sacrifice of christ for your soul oh man i like hondo let's go watch that honey yeah we later time network is the king of hondo

references we own that i only know because al bundy wanted to watch hondo i only watched because and it's like it's okay wayne it's like lesser wayne but the i don't remember which podcast but i have a long story about fucking hondo jesus my favorite christ movie i don't know how long we were running i have to say that for animation fans book of matthew for everyone just a second i was in a movie theater and sometime this christmas they're going to sneak in a cheapy cgi animated comedy star studded all about the manger the manger animals in the birth of jesus i've heard nothing about this but it's called the star and i'm oh so fascinated anyway sorry yes boo earns everyone i i love too that burns thinks that it would be fine to recast himself as christ

then he was Jesus Christ. But okay, but it seems like they're in a bit of a deadlock in the voting for this. Well, I vote for Burns' movie. Me too. Now let's get going. I got a date with Eudora Welty. Coming, Eudora.

Excellent. Bribing those two judges Has paid off Just as it did During the Miss Teen America Pageant How can you vote For Burns' movie Let's just say

It moved me To a bigger house To the quiet part loud And the loud part quiet Oh dear Oh god I think of that line Whenever someone

Is obviously bribed Like oh that moved him To a bigger house I use that quite a bit And I'm not going to make any arguments. That's my favorite line of this episode. That I forget every day is from this episode. No idea.

Can I have a new complaint? We never got to see Tommy Tuna Smithers. Yeah! That's true, yeah. We totally even missed that, yes. I was wondering, because there's a big cast list. Did you guys go through to pause the cast list? No, I did not.

I looked at a couple. It was just random names. It wasn't a lot of jokes. Yeah, I looked at a list online. All right. But yeah. The four seasons of Arrested Development

was that the time? Yeah. Damn it. Lucille Osteros' brother. Yes, yeah. Head of austerity, but he loves musicals. And the joke is

that Tommy Toon is gay. Get it? He would be playing Smithers. He was in lots and lots of musicals. I love Tommy Toon. I do too. But also, yes, the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet. gay get it he would be playing smith or he was in lots and lots of musicals i love tommy too but the but also yes the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet i think of that is anytime somebody fails to wink that they were paid off for something or that they have an ulterior motive i've been seeing that a lot too of people saying like when they get a quote from say

mitch mcconnell saying well if we don't for this, then we won't get to pick our Supreme Court justice. Or we won't get to kill the ACA. And then they go like, you're saying the quiet part loud and the loud part quieter, guys. You could at least hide this from us a little bit. And then Homer is just addicted with football and the growing. Growing? Growing. Not growing. Growing? Growing. Not growing.

Yes. And then we also get another critic stable making fun of Rex Reed, usually in a somewhat gay way. Yeah, the Rexall thermometer. Yes. The implication that Rex Reed only is on the jury because he slept with the head of the film festival, which would imply he's sleeping with men, which is because Rex Reed is gay. Really? There isn't a

lot of women in power in the film industry i don't think so i think recent events have shown us no but the i also though the commentary on this too is like it's i learned very little about the making of this episode because john lovett is constantly calling al gene and mike reese gay everyone but me that's how it reflects and there's a couple hey look over there your shoes untied and there's a couple long stretches of silence where then you later hear gene say well john was singing earlier and that reminds me of when he sang when we recorded this i was like oh they had to cut out him singing because like you can't sing on the commentary. We'd have to pay for it. Yeah.

Or he's singing a song about Algina Mike Reese being gay. But so then Homer finally watches Barney's movie. Barney's movie had heart, but football in the groin had a football in the groin. Don't cry for me. I'm already dead. Wow. I'll never drink another beer. Beer here.

I'll take ten. He learns never drink another beer. Beer here. I'll take ten. He learns nothing from that movie. And I love that there's a baseball beer concession guy just wandering around this empty theater. If only. It could be the same hot dog guy that's following him around in round Springfield the next episode of The Critic. Maybe put my kids to college. That could be an early Alamo Drafthouse. They don't shout beer here.

I said it's an early one. They had to work out the kinks. Yeah, they duck around like magician's assistants. I also think about that, though, with reviewing, too. Like, well, this had this, but football and the growing had football and the growing. But yes, they then announced, well, first we get an Itchy and Scratchy short, which...

I love it. I love the bomb children. The implication that not only did Scratchy have sex with a pile of dynamite, but that it was able to procreate. That he was able... And I guess the four funerals would be Scratchy, Itchy, and his two bomb children would have to explode eventually. Thus making it four funerals and a wedding. One wedding.

It works out. That's the title. The math checks out here, folks. And it's a parody and a wedding. One wedding, it works out. That's the title. The math checks out here, folks. And it's a parody of a famous movie. That's true, yes. Patton. Oh, yeah, Patton, of course. That's why it was in front of a giant flag the whole time.

The winner of the grand prize. Barney Gumbel. What? Oh! Only you voted for the right movie. I'm glad you were on the jury. You know something, Marge? It's not that tough being a film cricket.

I've learned I have a gift to share with the world. From now on, there'll be a new Bernard Gumbel. Hardworking, clean, and sober. Congratulations, Barney, and enjoy your grand prize, a lifetime supply of Duff beer. Ah! Just hook it to my veins! And they dutifully do that. Yeah, they're ready for it.

Okay, another line that is a meme. Hook it to my veins. Whenever a new game comes out or a new podcast comes out or anything you really want to get into and leave the world if you want it you're just like pull just don't get to my veins although i think barney went through his lifetime supply the next season we see the barney guarding job yeah because he's going to uh suck all the beer out of most taps clearly that life size of mine but by the way don't put beer in your veins you will die you will die all those bubbles yes uh air in your veins. You will die. You will die. All those bubbles? Yes.

Air in your veins kills you, as Homer would reveal in the Ritalin episode. Brother's Little Helper? Yes. Wait, there was only air in my syringe. Just took it to my veins. Also, I just love the film Cricket. The film Cricket. It's not hard being a film Cricket.

Then they say their farewells, where Bart represents Matt Grading again in this episode to say that this is definitely the last time this ever happens. Goodbye, Mr. Sherman. If I ever play Carnegie Hall, I'll give you a call. And if you ever want to visit my show... Nah, we're not going to be doing that. Jay, I hope you tell your New York friends that people in small towns aren't quite as dumb as they think. Marge, look!

This has spring snakes inside, but the suckers will think it's beer nuts. Beer nuts. Well, it was a lovely festival. The best movie won, and Mr. Burns found there are some awards that can't be bought. And the Oscar goes to... I've got to win this one.

I bribed everyone in Hollywood. George C. Scott in Man Getting Hit by Football. Ah! My groin! That is great. That's Marisa Marsh, too. Ruining a fine actor for generations. I looked into George C. Scott a little bit but he was, you know, he just, he had that

waning career of everybody in Hollywood where he's just doing like TV movies and small He was also doing the thing where he died in movies a lot. Like in Angus, he plays his grandpa and he dies in the middle of it. It's far too long to play on this show but everyone look up the Paul F. Tompkins bit about spring snakes

in peanut brittle cans. It is amazing. He dissects the logic of that joke. Peanut brittle, my favorite treat, which is sold all the time in big aluminum cans. Oh, it's so great. Please look it up. It's beautiful. But George C. Scott is one of America's

greatest actors. His Ebenezer Scrooge is great. Turgeson. Buck Turgeson. Most people might know him i feel like 12 angry men is showed a lot in schools and i think they've chosen to show the remake where he's like the jack warden role the angry guy he's fucking guilty let's get out of here got tickets to the game he's the last guy to be in in changed his mind and dr strange love he got the oscaron. I think he's the first person to refuse an Oscar.

He's like, everybody was great. Fuck off. And I didn't know he did a sequel film 16 years later about Patton's last years. Oh, yes.

Made for TV movie, yeah. No, he was great and he would be alive. He's the captain on the Titanic in 1996's Titanic, not 1997. Wrong show. And yes, not 1997. Wrong show. And yes, he would live till 1999.

He's got BS. He's so fucking funny in Doctor Strangelove. He's so great. Star of the movie They Might Be Giants. Yes, that's right. I didn't know that. So yeah, this episode, we were talking, Henry and I, before the show. We both thought going into this, this will probably be a subpar episode because it has a kind of reputation.

But no, it's great. The plot is totally non-existent. But we pulled out like eight things that are everyday memes you see on Twitter every day on this episode. Just perfect lines. It's just perfect, nice little, so many good jokes. It's just a little bit rough around the edges but thoroughly enjoyable and has clearly stood the test of time as something Simpsons fans love. Yeah, I think mentally you clip out the weak jokes in here, like the Death Wish joke. Puke Ahanas.

Puke Ahanas. There is some lame stuff in here, but there's so many rando things that you forget is related to Jay Sherman showing up. Almost, I think none of the things we remember as meme-ified have anything to do with Jay Sherman. No, they were very careful. He gets no really good lines. No. He gets that Rex Reed line, he gets to sing Oscar, he gets to sing, and then just he languidly

brags about his Oscars. I think the closest thing to a good line is him saying Camus can do, but Sartre is smart-trap. Yeah. And it's just a clever thing if you think about that huge showcase because five minutes later he's in his own show and audiences are a little more comfortable you're ready to watch him leave the simpsons and then travel to his own show i'm not sure if he'll ever see something like that again oh and the spring snakes joke that was uh i just noticed

in this viewing that it's clearly an animation mistake that marge is blinking opposite whenever her eyes are supposed to be open they should be closed and reverse in the shot because her eyes are closed for a long time during that joke so so clearly they messed up but couldn't do a research for it didn't really matter the joke and i think it actually makes it funnier to see marge react in no way to homer freaking out or justosing her eyes in shame, like, please stop this, Homer. A good episode with transcendent moments, but also not totally on MacRain's side, but is definitely made for commercial reasons, but I think they made the best out of that situation. Yep, exactly.

So thank you so much for joining us on this extra long Talking Simpsons episode. Thank you, Diana, for coming by and being on it. Thank you. As part of our Talking Critic crew, we really appreciate it. And as for me, I've been your host, Bob Mackey. You can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo. My other podcast is Retro Knots. It's a classic gaming podcast every Monday, and occasionally we have a bonus episode on Friday.

That's at retronauts.com, or look for Retro Knots in your podcast device. I think you'll like it if you like me, and if you don't like me, start working on yourself. That's all I have to say. Henry, please tell everybody about our lovely Patreon and maybe a surprise announcement. Yes! Well, first off, if you liked all this talk about The Critic, you should

listen to the Talking Critic show that we do with Diana and also Michael Raparez. Mr. Diana Goodman as I like to call him. But yeah, where we go through every episode of The Critic in the same manner that we did this. So if this discussion of The Critic on The Simpsons really inspired

you to look at that more, go to signup at patreon.com slash TalkingSimpsons. $5 a month gets you access to that, as well as a ton of awesome things, including some interviews, and we'll be adding more interviews to that soon. We got some cool stuff up brewing.

I'm so excited. But we won't announce it until it's official. But I will tell you what is official. Wait. Mark your calendars. It's a big deal, everybody. Don't turn this off. Big, big deal.

Do not turn this off. January 28th, 2018, Talking Simpsons Live. We have our own live panel at SF Sketch Fest here in San Francisco in the Bay Area. We are going to be doing a live podcast recording as part of the awesome San Francisco Sketch Festival.

I love SF Sketch Fest. I've probably given them thousands of dollars in ticket money. If anything, they owe us. You better be dead or in jail. So, yeah, we're going to be in the third week of it, the last weekend, January 28th. We will be at the Piano Fight Bar doing a live recording of it. So if you live in the Bay Area, if you can come and see it, we will be doing a live. We really need those seats.

Just a couple of those. It can't just be our girlfriends. I believe it is i believe it is free uh the admission is free though there might be a two we get a cut more ever uh well i'm happy for just the exposure it's a cool bar with great food um it's an awesome venue and again i just love sf sketch fest and so awesome to be part of your honor that's very very honored so mark your calendars we'll have more details on exactly what we're awesome to be part of that. You're honored. Yes, very, very honored. So mark your calendars. We'll have more details on exactly what we're going to be doing at it there,

but it is a live podcast recording January 28th, 2018. Next year. I'm not plugging anything after that. Well, Diana, come on. Well, if you like me butting in with all my stupid movie stuff, then you probably like me on Twitter at LeCinateNerd. Or you can hear me every week on 302010 where we look back 30 years ago, 20 years ago, and 10 years ago with that exact week. We're finishing up 1987, 1997, 2007.

We've got the first billion dollar movie of all time coming up. Oh, God. Oh, wow. We all have to rewatch that. My heart will go on. We are gonna. It's gonna be fun. So, yeah, 30, 20, 10,

the words,.net. And you may have heard a highlight clip on one of these shows, but Diana, I don't think we've ever made Diana laugh as hard as we did in our

Worst Critics Ever episode in the one-star Amazon review of Susan Cain. I thought I was going to die. You said you almost had to leave the room. I was about to just, like, go time out. Pass out. Like, I'm done. Whatever, whoever that guy is, he's almost had to leave the room. I was about to just go time out. Pass out. I'm done. Whoever that guy

is, he's my favorite writer of the year. I've never heard Citizen Kane compared to the movie he compares it to. Listen to the episode to find out. It was so whack and boring and the dudes all wore the same suits and looked the same. that's on the episode. I guess the lighting was okay. The worst critics where I tried to find the worst critical reaction

to some of the most well regarded things of all time and if you like cartoons we are going to have a shit load of awesome stuff coming up on laser time including something

I believe I teased a long time ago that both Bob and Hank are involved in as well as some additional stuff but you know it'll be around

for the holidays so check it out I hope we made no comments about stars who have since been exposed as bad people. We've talked a lot of shit about Tex Avery. I love Harvey Weinstein. That could possibly not bite me in the ass.

Thank you for listening, folks. We'll see you next week with Lisa's Wedding, a trip to the far view of 2010. We'll see you then. Wow. Infotainment.