Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Bart Vs. Australia

Episode Date: November 15, 2017

We head to the land down under for some giant beers, spoon against knives, and mucus-filled marsupials. Learn a ton about Australia in what is probably the best international trip the Simpsons have as they face a booting thanks to draining. Wanna go smell-- I mean, wanna go listen?

This week's episode of Talking Simpsons is brought to you by you. That's right, we're on Patreon now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons. For as little as $5 a month, you can help our show and get all kinds of great extra content on top of that. We've got a ton of great bonus content waiting for you right now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons today. I heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, hoy, everybody. Welcome to TalkingSimpsons number one in Rand McNally. I am your host, International Drains Commissioner Bob Mackey, and this is the Laser Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons.

Who else is here with me today? Henry Gilbert, and there's a lot more mucus here. It's true, and who else? Argentinian Hitler Chrysanthes. Oh boy, the secret's out. And today's episode is Bart versus Australia. Australia! America! Australia! America! Australia! And today's episode aired on vs. Australia. Australia! America! America! That's enough! America!

Australia! America! Ow! And today's episode aired on February 19th, 1995, and as always, Chris will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real world history. Oh my God! Oh boy, Bobby, and TV fans everywhere, because the Bradys have gone big screen with the Brady Bunch movie. And look out, Sonic the Hedgehog, because Ristar has hit the Sega Genesis and Canada's

hit television kids show, The Big Comfy Couch makes its U.S. debut. The star of that played Claire Redfield in Resident Evil 2 and Code Veronica. In real life? She's a voice actress, and she played Lydia in the cartoon Beetlejuice. Very Canadian is what I'm saying here.

Very, very Canadian. Man, I didn't know that. I never watched Big Comfy Couch or Bananas in Pajamas. Those were like when I stopped. I was 15. That's Australian, Henry. I was jerking off at this point. I wasn't watching children's programming. But I remember Chris talking about this on another podcast, but I do want to revisit

the Brady Bunch movie because you pointed out it is the most 90 movies making fun of the 70s, but now that we're 20 years later, it's just like, you ain't all that 90s. Fuck you. It's the most arrogant Gen x movie i've ever seen it makes every single detail of like 1995 feel like it's so much more important than your puffy lapels and i never thought about disco music it's so it's so arrogant i never thought about the snide gen x-ery of it it's like davy jones comes on stage and like that's not music this is music grudge like fuck you this is awful too do any of the brady kids mosh in that movie i seem to recall something like that yeah yeah like every like

every single 1995 trend they pretend like they don't even know what a giant brick-sized mobile phone is like you 1995 they then just replayed like 10 sitcom plots throughout the film of like she gets hit in the nose with a football and then also the new jan jan wears a uh an afro wig to the party and they have astroturf but gary cole is perfect oh yeah shelly long the movies are both movies are transfixing especially if you have like vague i don't know lucid memories of the brady bunch which i think we do even though it's kind of gone. And they played, they walked right up to the line of like, both it and the sequel, they're like, oh, Marsha's friend is a lesbian

who wants to get with her, but let's, we'll just get up to that line. And then in two, they joke around of like, what if Greg and Marsha had sex? The show did that. Yeah, the show did that. I remember Anna Faris as Jan, right? No. Was she Jan or no? No, it's true. The show did that. I remember Anna Faris as Jan, right? No.

Was she Jan or no? No, no. It wasn't anybody I can... Interesting. Jan was really good. His wife is Marcia, but yeah, the Jan was very good. I feel like they were... We're going on way too long about this.

I want to get this out because I know this. It's fascinating. I feel like they were ripping off this comedy stage show that Andy Richter and Melanie Hutzel were both in that just did Brady Bunch stuff. And that's how Melanie Hutzel got to be on SNL and played Jan Brady in those sketches. Once, yeah. Or in that one sketch. I seem to recall there being more, but maybe it was just one.

I think it was one, but it was awesome because Chris Rock came out as a mishmash of Mush Mouth and Donald from Fat Albert's live action. Fat Albert sucks now. They fused. He always sucked. I can't talk about it. I love Fat Albert. But the Brady Bunch movie, who'd have thought it would age better than the Fat Albert movie? Oh, God.

I liked the very Brady sequel because they got even stupider. They had a bigger budget, so they thought, well, now we can do the Hawaii plot. And now we can even have a reference to the cartoon and the Variety Hour. I only like the brady's is like tangentially through gen x-ray like i never watched it until until after they like started having the reruns on nick at night when the movie came i watched a ton of it growing up it was my original full house and full house took over if you didn't have cable like it was on like four times a day and it was the only thing about kids that was syndicated it was like that or mash

so it was always brady bunch and uh risticated. It was like that or M.A.S.H. So it was always Brady Bunch. And Ristar was them trying to make a second Sonic that actually played better in some ways than Sonic. Really good in the first Sonic. Great music, too. But it did not... That star just wasn't as cool as the cocky hedgehog. Who could be.

But also ripped from the headlines, right? Yeah, I want to get into this. So the basis of this episode was a a 1993 incident in singapore by an american citizen named michael faye attending the singapore american school we're talking about this on another podcast and i don't know why there was a one-off joke about it in bart's comment where skinner says won't be a simple caning this time but this is the more direct episode so i guess he vandalized some cars, he stole some signs, and he was sentenced to four months in jail,

$3,500 Singapore dollars, and six strokes of the cane. Wow. After international pressure, it was reduced to four strokes. But I believe Weird Al, the songwriter, singer, Weird Al, said it best in the song headline news. Once there was this kid who took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint. And when he finally came back, he had cane marks all over his bottom.

He said that it was from when the warden whacked it so hard. We're good. So, you know, Weird Al is playing fast and loose with the facts. He was not visiting Singapore. He was living there with his mother. He was an American citizen attending an American school. But, yeah, he was whacked in the ass as a form of punishment and it there was much fun was made of this but a big foreign controversy the american idea that a foreign government can spank our kids yeah it well that's that's played around with a lot in this episode but it was in the case of the singapore caning it was like

we we do have the death penalty here like it's it's something for america to be super judgmental about like we're doing they're doing public corporal punishment like a formal spanking yeah it's just when you you look at this episode now and it seems ridiculous but there were millions of federal dollars spent around this case housing people overseas yeah diplomacy out the wazoo it costs money to like try and get michael fey out of this yeah well america gets really mad when a country does something to an american it's it's also it's why you hear those stories of like you'll hear stories about a natural disaster let's say in some part of the world that isn't america and the american news they'll report on it but you'll also

see the stories of like five americans dying in this thing of like well among yeah there were american bodies among hundreds of other bodies it's our sheer exceptionalism henry that makes us more important here it's it's our greatness that makes us so exceptional as duke ingrich said but so they turned it to not have to make fun of singapore an asian country they then go to something in a similar time zone with Australia. I do want to get into this really quick, though, that I believe this is the superior, the best Simpsons International episode because

every other one, it's like, here are a list of things we're going to make fun of about this country. This is half that and half let's just make things up. And that's what I love about this episode. It just makes things up and just presents them to you with a straight face. The prime minister is not the real prime minister there there's no boot on the australian flag like all of these great details and these great like these made

up words these made up customs i just love how they make all this stuff up instead of choosing to make fun of australian this is their it's odd to think about this is the simpsons first international trip this is the first time they've left america well bart went to france but he did as a family they had never gone together but instead of like well they go to africa or they go to japan or brazil and all those things have to be like realer or presented as like this is half of a thing that's real in japan it is incredible that yeah australia was a good target to pick because you can they're white, so they can be made fun of. Only recently were the Australians mildly offended by this portrayal.

And even then, they have a good sense of humor about it. And did you see that news story from two years ago? Petition started by a man named Thomas Probst. Got 70,000 signatures to change Australian's currency to dollar-y dues. Oh, yeah. This is perfect. According to Probst, due to global commodity prices plummeting, the Australian economy

is struggling. That's why we need to do something to stimulate the Australian economy, and that something is changing the name of Australian currency to dollar-y dues. This will make millions of people

around the world want to get their hands on the Australian currency due to real-life Simpsons reference driving up the value of Australian currency. Wow, I didn't know that. Okay, so I've seen the meme

of the fake dollar-y due. No. On the front of it is tobias's father looking at the bill okay i think that's fake but i believe the australian mint buckled and made limited edition dollary dues that was an that was the last announcement on the petition i couldn't find when uh we meant special coins as collector's items and stuff yeah yeah well yeah and like uh scottish money they put like a famous golfer on it once too yeah they've done that though uh but the also australia was in the news recently in our first uh bill oakley interview which you guys go back and listen to he was remarking on how him and josh weinstein wrote this episode because they're like well we'd never have an international

incident with australia they've been our friends forever and then in the first week of our current president's term right pissed off australia i don't want to hear it australian i i don't even it was so many incidents ago i don't even remember what happened well so the the it was one of those other funny things where the entire transcript so first there was a story that he had a bad phone call with Prime Minister Turnbull, who was the guy there. And then the entire transcript leaked. And it was hilarious of him talking to him on the phone and saying, like, hello, Mr. I'm not going to do an impersonation of Trump. He's like, hello, isn't our mutual friend, this Australian golfer, having a good time, too?

It was Trump doing every 80s boss move he learned from a boss book can you see the gun fingers i'm pointing at you and partially the turnbull the the problem was that turnbull said so we have all these refugees and we're going to send them to you and he's like i i my entire plank was was that we're not going to take on refugees you're going to make me look so bad he's like well obama agreed to this he's like we really got a really sticky situation with brown people right but it's just him keeps whining like but it'll make me look bad don't you know like he's whining his way out of a deal i could be wrong he complained about obama and then said the russia phone call was much better than this yes i bet it was this was a bad phone call i bet it was and then when turnbull came to america they had to have like a makeup of like

but then there was an extra hilarious part where he the the meeting with turnbull and in person in america was happening during an attempt to repeal obamacare and then trump was like our health care man is such a thing i wish we had it like you guys i bet not knowing that they have a public option in australia that really boomeranged on him yeah that's throwing sticks but yeah so that anyway that's where oakley and weinstein came from it as australia would be a funny one because they're always been our friend and it's they they have a very similar history to america of being a former british colony that uh, they didn't exactly rebel, but it is a former British colony that also, you know, murdered the natives, took over an area. They just didn't have as much exploitable resources as we did.

But Australia seems like a lovely Australian woman who I contemplated asking expert advice on this. But I was like, no, I haven't talked to her in a few months. I ended up on a Facebook page I started following a long time ago. And our rival podcast, The Four Finger Discounts. And they're Australians. And they have a whole breakdown of this, like what's real and what isn't. I did like that. Yeah, I read through that too.

Oh, I saw that, yeah. Simpsons fans in Australia are definitely in force there. They talked about on the commentary that there was one-time talks of an Australian theme park having a Simpsons land in it even. Actually, the Australian Simpsons fan I met once was my first trip to Japan. I was at a Square enix event which had

all these international games press people there and then included an australian who was not super jet lag because it's only a three-hour time difference between sydney and tokyo so he was there and i was like uh he joked everything i know about america i learned from the simpsons i said well everything i learned about australia i learned from the simpsons and then he played knifey spoony until the break of dawn. We had a fun little chat about that. It's always interesting to me to meet people from other countries and what The Simpsons meant to them as compared to us. It's really interesting.

And just Australia, just the nature of how hard it is to get to means a lot of people. It is one of the most foreign, foreign countries. Yeah. John Oliver's trip there about gun control on The Daily Show is quite a good one. Oh, yeah. But the feeling, Chris, you've had that very funny joke about how they all just, they come off as the rednecks of the world. Greg Proops called it Arkansas with a beach. He is the world's smartest man.

But they do have smarter gun laws there, gotta give them that. So when I was around Bart's age, though, I did go through an Australian phase. It was a really – the thing they talk about in the episode of America going through an Australian phase, that was real. That happened. And I was alive when it happened. I remember it. I ate my share of Koala Yummies. Koala Yummies.

There were multiple Koala cartoon shows? Yeah. When do we want to break down those references? Well, the koala cartoon shows, I did want to mention that, that apparently that is from in 1984. Japan got their first koalas at a zoo, and it caused a koala craze. So then they animated shows like The Nuzzles, if you remember that. I believe it's The Noozles. Noozles, yeah. But then we got that five years later

in time for our Australian craze along with Crocodile Dundee. Yeah, shows like that poison my child brain to loving anime, and that's all I watch now. I know. Thank you, Nickelodeon, for your cheap content of getting anime.

Cheap dub stuff, yes. Yeah. I can't wait to break down Phil Hartman's Australian references. Oh, they're all great. It's great. Good old Jocko. But all right.

Well, why don't we then get into it? I like the start of the episode in that Oakley and Weinstein have talked before about they got more use out of the kids' bathroom than anybody else on the show. They really did, yeah. Stuff never happens in the kids' bathroom. Like the bathroom rug metaphor in Marge Not Be Proud. Yeah, and I like the design of it.'ve got like fish on the wall and everything it is uh we didn't have a kids bathroom in my house you have two bathrooms two ensuite bathrooms they're living in little and

large in that yes yeah it's uh it's one of those things you see the show like well i could never live this way uh and they they're having that shampoo versus toothpaste race and that's when we get to the coriolis effect so the thing with the coriolis effect people nerdonauts have pointed this out lisa is wrong ish about this yeah yeah that's the coriolis effect does have an effect on weather like hurricanes turn a certain way while below the equator weather events turn a different way but in a body of water that is small as a toilet or a sink it is kind of nothing like it'll turn either way or it'll just sink down it won't even spin you just kneel the grass tyson all over that i know it's it's wrong it's wrong but like she's kind of right yeah she is right and it was discovered or named after gaspard gustav

coriolis from 1835 good old gaspard yeah but and i also just love homer screaming in the shower like got cold ah good animation too who did this one wes archer it was a wes archer one yes another vacation episode he did a teen scratching land too that's right yeah i still don't get it was so prevalent in the 80s and early 90s that flushing the toilet to affect the shower, I never saw that effect. It would happen in my house. Same here. It would rob cold water of the shower.

And it would then turn up the heat. If you turn on the hot water on your sink. I had to assume it was a cold water hitting someone in the shower. It makes the water hotter? Yes. I believe it's taking cold water to flush the toilet. This is a revelation. So less cold water is mixed with the hot water than changing the temperature.

Chris had those rich people pipes. Oh, my goodness. That Florida aquifer pipes. Plenty of water down there. Well, now I don't have that because I have not lived anywhere with more than one bathroom in a very long time. I don't know where my water goes. But then Bart learns a bit more about the Coriolis effect and the mysterious land of Rand

McNally. Bart, water will only go the other way in the southern hemisphere. What the hell is the southern hemisphere? Haven't you ever looked at your globe? See, the southern hemisphere is made up of everything below the equi- This line.

Hmm. So down there in, say, Argentina or Rand McNally, all their water runs backwards? Uh-huh. In fact, in Rand McNally, they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people. Cool. I love the little acting on Lisa

when she says, hamburgers eat people like her arm or she does a biting motion with her hand and the pause when she realizes Bart won't know what the equator is this line and that this is the second Oakley Weinstein thing about burgers taking a bite out of you because they did that in Lisa vs. Malibu

Stacy which there's a lot of verses in this season it's actually where they go from bart versus australia to homer versus patty and selma and then previously lisa versus malibu stacy but i guess that's that was kind of their naming convention at this time it's an easy convention and that yeah the i did i love that rand mcnally joke because as a kid i would see like you'd see globes in the library and they have to fill up space somewhere so they have a logo on it. But I prefer before logos that they would have sea serpents or whatever drawn in there.

Those were more fun. Rand McNally, before Google Maps, they practically owned mapping technology. Yes. As a printing press in Chicago that ended up – they were hired to make Chicago newspapers and eventually bought out, no, we make your newspapers now. Wow. And then I think pioneered the, I don't know, topography. And I don't know, I've seen their name everywhere. Rand McNally.

They had the corner on printed maps, but now printed maps are just. For about a century. Yeah. You can, Rand McNally still exists. It's now just an app. They're like, well, you download the Rand McNally app and look at stuff. Like, well, Google Maps kind of beats you. I won't be doing that.

It is the conjunction of two names, Rand and McNally. It's just like Barnum and Bailey, huh? The two map giants merged. And that Bart had never even opened, like he was handed a globe on his birthday and never even took the wrapping paper off. I got a globe as a gift. It sucked. Yeah, I did too. Weird. Like, why? Am I gonna explore

or something? What's happening? It's not even a globe. It's not even good reference material. Even without the internet, it's just decoration. It's like, well, here's a place I'll never go, and here's a place I'll never go. Now Super Mario Odyssey has made globes cool again. We should talk about all the places Bart calls because Bart kills two people with his phone calls.

Yeah, I would say that Bart accidentally killing two people are bigger international incidents than a phone bill in Australia. So the first one is the South Pole research station call and their toilet is frozen over. I do like him tapping the toilet with a pen as if it's like, you should know this toilet has not functioned. You should have realized your toilet is frozen by now. And also that the guy had a swimsuit issue thing in there. So I wonder if we're supposed to think he's going to be pleasuring himself. Maybe. That was some standard bathroom reading at the time.

I guess, yeah. It wasn't. I would bet there's a lot of masturbation at the Antarctica Research Station. That's true. He calls it, I think it's a Latin American country. Well, it has to be South America to be below the border. So it can't be Mexico. It's one of those always workable jokes of banana republic dictatorship type things. He mistakes Bart's phone call for news about the rebels taking over, and he jumps out the window, and you hear his body hit the ground, too, which I forgot about.

We're at the height of people jumping out of windows in The Simpsons. They love that. The PTA disbands us this season. He calls some place that's overrun with lava, and a guy tries to answer the phone and falls into the lava. So that guy's dead too. Yeah, and they call Hitler on his car phone, which is also a nuisance phone. I can't believe I had to Google just Adolf Hitler. Wait, how old was he?

Yeah, I mean, a lot of Nazis fled to Argentina, and there was conspiracies about Adolf Hitler still being alive. He would have been 106 in 1995. Which is possible, but he wasn't driving. No, no. That wasn't happening. It's the funniest idea in the world that, you know, obviously. He's shopping at Cartier, too. That all these, and that a guy gives him an other old Nazi,

salutes him on a bicycle. Well, like, sarcastically. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm a nude but this this confused the she because i had to dad is hitler still alive yes no but maybe nazis always wanted to dream that hitler was still alive and it was all just a hoax that the american said he killed himself but his skull was really a woman's but even then it's like well then he would be the oldest nazi alive and he can't that would hitler wasn't living the life of a man who lived to be he was on speed a lot and they joked about how graining hates hitler jokes even on there that they somehow got it through they're actually they're this heated up uh recently again this

hitler in south america thing because the cia declassified some documents very recently that they had reports that Hitler is in Colombia and then moved to Argentina and they say, the CIA people are like, well look, we had to look into it because it seemed important at the time but this was not

real, like it didn't really work. And I realize I only have my definitive view of what happened to Hitlerler from the german movie downfall from about 15 years ago all right which is where the angry hitler meme comes from because it's the german people's first movie addressing hitler and i'm like wait a minute why am i trusting the germans to tell me that hitler died that's how they that's how they win you over they get you yeah well as we all know he took a suicide pill and like when really he was shot to death in a movie theater and then exploded. Exactly.

That's what happened. But I had one huge question here. Sure. And it was really dumb. Holy shit, do collect calls still exist? The idea of calling another country, I love that joke about pushing 9,000 numbers. Yes. Because I didn't do it until my 20s and it's stupid difficult.

Well, do you remember just the collect call wars and the long distance wars of the 90s? If you give me a moment, I can have a Simpsons guest star explain to you what's going on. Better call the Beast House. Tell them we're going to be late. Hey, you can save up to 44% if you dial 1-800-COLLECT. 44%? You're kidding.

No, I'm not. It's easy. See? You better listen to the brother you're gonna need that 44 when you get my bill oh my god oh my god that was a strange period yeah the call att i forget there was a 1-800 george carlin did ads i phil hartman did i'm pretty sure the who shot mr burns stunt was sponsored by a collect call or long-distance call plan, like an AT&T thing. Yeah, that's true. I remember David Arquette and John Stamos were also part of it.

It was the collect call boom. Carrot Top. Yeah. So according to an Ars Technica article from two years ago, I don't think these are still run by legitimate companies, but somebody bought those lines, and in a desperate move, an Ars Technica editor or user called 1-800-COLLECT two years ago for six minutes, and it cost them $50. Oh my god. $50. But a collect call, I didn't know

for a long time, is essentially like COD. You're calling someone who they have, the recipient of your phone call has to pay. They're going to pay for it. They're footing the bill. I remember just how ancient all this stuff is. Like, one of the old Seinfeld episodes, there's a bit about how when you're on a payphone and the operator asks you to put another dime, like, ball's in your court now. It's like, when does that ever happen?

Like, are you being extorted in a payphone? What happens if you don't put money in? What we would do pre-cell phones, we'd be out and trying to call a friend. We'd use 1-800-COLLECT. Oh, I did that too. And you'd leave a message. You'd usually, this is a message from Christopher. But instead, we'd be at a payphone. You'd call for free. 9-4-2-3-4-3-COLLECT. I did that too. And you'd leave a message. This is a message from Christopher.

But instead, we'd be at a payphone. You'd call for free. 9-4-2-3-4. Yell out the number so someone could call that payphone back. Or just tell them to pick you up or whatever. I did that with my parents. Come pick me up. Yeah.

Well, that commercial and all those commercials also depended on, well, the only way you're going to call somebody, collect, is because you have a payphone near you. It's like, well, one, I'm never going to have a payphone near me. And like well one i'm never gonna have a pay phone near me and two i always have a phone why was this so important well it was it was another racket the last time i got a collect call was when a friend was uh calling me for bail oh that was like 12 years ago yeah i called someone from jail too what up john i don't think about long distance plans i just know i can call my mom in ohio 2 000 miles away and there won't be a bill or a charge for that call on my phone it's bizarre long distance has i just know i can call my mom in ohio 2 000 miles away and there won't be a bill or a charge for that call on my phone it's bizarre long distance has not been an issue on a phone call level in about a decade well even international calls like bart's international call

thing i only thought of that recently a couple years ago i did a covered comic con with some british compatriots and they're like okay just give us uh just call our phone and it's uh all these numbers i was like this is too many numbers come on let's just skype and if you're in office you got to dial nine and yeah yeah it's it but all that's again in today like you just have face time with somebody in japan we when we were in japan uh we all went on a group trip to japan in, and we just signed up for Line. Line is great. Yeah, I just will give you a phone call online and use Wi-Fi.

I'm not paying the fees to use this stuff here. I would also like to mention that Bart is bad in every way. He is always in the wrong. He's at fault. He is at fault. He deserves a booting, quite honestly. So when he finally calls Australia, that's when he realizes he needs to call collect and the plot begins in earnest. This is the international operator.

Will you accept a collect call from... Uh, yes. This is Dr. Bart Simpson of the International Drainage Commission. It's an emergency. If it's an emergency, then... We understand some drains in your area have been malfunctioning, sucking in people and whatnot. We like hairs. That's awful. Indeed.

We need you to check your sinks and toilets and tell us which way the water is going, and please, stand clear. The fixtures, they're drained in clockwise, sir. Oh, she was right, stupid Lisa Science Queen. Well, why don't you just check your neighbor's drains? I'll hold. But Tobias lives in the middle of nowhere.

Hey, Bart, the bakery caught fire and all of downtown smells like cookies. Want to go smell? Yes. Yes, I do. So, like, I think Oakley and Weinstein have the best constructed episodes of The Simpsons, and this one, I was just thinking about how it starts. It starts with the catalyst for everything,

the swirling down the drain, and that's what starts Bart on his journey that leads him to Australia. It's very well constructed that way. Each step goes to the next one very easily. Trying to move toilet water with his hands. Yes. Use the plunger, Bart.

And then also, yeah, this isn't unlike, say, Fear of Flying, where they waste eight minutes on a thing that doesn't mean anything. Then they are immediately, like, each step goes to the other. There's no weak B-plot in this of Bart becoming a ballet dancer or something. Spoilers for next episode.

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Hey, this is Sideshow Luke Perry. You're listening to Talking Simpsons on Lazer Time. This week on Lazer Time, the internet's seventh leading pop culture podcast, the gang is tackling a brand new topic. This character, I believe, has the distinction of being the only person who has led the, let me finish all three of these teams because this is pretty impressive, the Teen Titans, the Outsiders, and the Justice League of America. Ponyboy.

That's Nightwing. That's Nightwing. Dick Grayson. Oh, it's not C. Thomas Howell? Ponyboy. Ponyboy. We've only got a That's Nightwing. Dick Grayson. Oh, it's not C. Thomas Howell? Ponyboy. Ponyboy. We're superhero ever. Couldn't even save Johnny.

Ponyboy. He could save Gold. He saved Gold. That was a super ability to save Gold. That's Laser Time. New every Monday on LasertimePodcast.com, iTunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. But I like how innocent Tobias is, too, that he's just like, he only cares.

It's half an emergency then. I think, that's Pamela Hayden. She has the worst australian accent in this episode i think harry shearers is the best yeah yeah i think so yeah i what's a good word yeah that's uh so then when the bills come back from his other calls this is i i just love the return of homer's brain we haven't heard from homer's brain in a while it's true burkina faso disputed zone who called all these weird places quiet it might be you i can't remember no i'm gonna ask march no no why embarrass us both just write a check

and i'll release some more endorphins oh homer just came yeah that that his brain is talking about that's also would explain why homer is a bad husband or a bad partner he's like no i should discuss this with my wife don't do that i'll just release endorphins immediately for kids and it also explains why he is not mad they don't even know about this because he does not investigate at all burkina faso in case you're curious a small country in west africa that has a a sad history of colonialism and then strife after colonialism i could have guessed that yeah it's just below egypt there's a funny depressing part of the onion did a book called the onions guide to the world where

basically it's it's a parody of a school book and they seriously do jokes for every country on earth and they have to get specific about it but when they when you get to the africa section by the fifth country they're like look it's the same joke okay this part of africa was also horrible is that is that our dumb world yeah okay i need to read that i bought it ages ago it's real funny it's real i have our dumb country or whatever the american one that one's good but i like the world one because i'll give them credit they thought of new things to make fun of for each country on earth and their their jokes about uh about the west congo is different than regular congo and burkina faso was a somewhat new name they had changed it from its old colonial name recently so that's and that is below the equator too so

that we didn't see that call from bart to burkina faso no african nation was called in that no we only saw three of his calls i think before the australian one by the way squatters crog is not a real place but there are real places in australia such as glebe and dismal swamp so yes yeah i just that was when i heard of the town Glebe, I asked our former Australian co-worker, like, Glebe? That's real? She's like, yeah, there's a lot of cities like that. Were you named after a Futurama drink?

G-L-E-B-E. I would like any Aussie listeners out there, tell us what you think of our opinions on Australia. I'd like your insight into this but i'm guessing it's like our stupid country with a bunch of indian names with forgotten meaning yeah that's true yeah that's true native american chicago chicago i guess they i should have looked into this when i meant to does australia use a lot of bidets i assume because they're european they're all they're always squirting water up there and you know what i'm jealous because i

know that's a much better and cleaner way than rubbing paper. Most smart countries do. Yeah. Well, did you read that Reddit post that was going bio recently about how women who say, my husband's butt is disgusting because he won't even wipe his ass or clean between his butt because nothing goes between my cheeks. The fear of being gay has made you have the most disgusting ass in the world. What if I have sex with a rag? It's not the fear of being gay has made you have the most disgusting ass in the world what if i have sex with a rag it's not the fear of being i don't do butt stuff because i just don't

trust what's happening down there hairy dude with a bad diet it's fine like you just you got to get over i don't want anybody to have to experience what might be happening there every once in a while you see an underwear that leaves that it sheds some mystery a lot of mystery on that situation also so i was surprised that australia used dollars i did not know that australian dollars i thought it was pounds or it would have been something like that in u.s currency 900 dollary dues is 700 american dollary dues though uh in 1995 in 1995 $700 American dollars is worth $1,100 American dollars now. And I actually looked into this. The exchange rate in 1995 and now is basically the same for America and Australia.

So it's the same. So yeah, basically over $1,000 on that collect call to buy it. But Australia calls Bart back. Hello? Right. I'm calling all the way from Squatters Crog, Australia, and I want to speak to Dr. Bart Simpson right now. Hold, please.

All right, but I didn't... Hey, we're all Bert Stanton speaking. Oi! I said Bart Simpson. What kind of a company is this? Bart Simpson's office. Thank the great good Lord. Look, I was just saying... One moment, please. Who do they think I am? Some stupid

Aussie drongo? Yanks. This is Bart Simpson. Can I help you, ma'am? Hey! My name is Bruno Drondridge, right? You owe me $900, mate. No, you owe me $900. You...

Bart is very much Bugs Bunny in that scene. $900, mate. No, you owe me $900. Oh, you. Ooh. Bart is very much Bugs Bunny in that scene. I like that he is groggy at first, but once he clicks, like, oh, okay, time to mess with this guy. I'm certainly not going to apologize. And a drungo is a real kind of, it's not a slur, like sort of a derogatory word for someone. It's sort of like a drunk bimbo. Oh, okay. A drungo. So that is a real slang.

Yes. Unlike Chazwazzers. And the Melinda Gilderchuk. And that's when Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head last heard in Duffless. That was the song Bart was... Oh, really? Okay. Fake music.

Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head. It's funny. On the commentaries, they say they will ask Nancy to just hum random nonsense, and she will find a real song that they have to pay for later. She's not as good at making up random songs like dan castellan i mean i apologize somebody i made a barnyard mo ringtone oh yes that was great multiple people said it should have been homers that that should have been your but if you want that it's it's just drag it on your iphone it's right there on the bar's comment page so before we play the second half of it i did want to play the dingo

took my baby line which is not dingo ate my baby as as seinfeld would have us believe but here here is the uh the real reference he's called help the dingo's got my baby what what that's the overrated meryl streep she wasn't that movie no she's the star of it it's called a cry in the dark though in australia was called evil angels it's a terrifying sequence too you can't really see it the baby in the jaws of a dingo but you just see this thing run away in the night i don't know i found that hunting and it is based on a real thing like it's it's uh an australian baby named azaria chamberlain uh in 1980 she baby disappeared and they blamed the mother they were like well you murdered your baby and she's like no a dingo the dingo took it it's always a dingo and it's an easy cover i would say if you did murder your baby.

But so the film is about how innocent she was and how the dingo really did ate the baby. And also stars Sam Neill, an actual Aussie. And this was the go-to reference for Australia for about a decade on sitcoms because it was a way to make a dead baby joke and get away with it on TV. We've said it. I've said it a million times on here. Just send me. They can't make just said they can't make fun they can't make fun of real things in the news but if you make a movie about autism

gays trans cannibalism babies cannibalism then you make fun of the movie while you're really making a dead baby joke on tv and that's fun in a transgressive way especially if you're like trying to mock standards and practices like well we couldn't make fun of this real dead baby but if we're quoting meryl streep it is up until the australian boom they talk about i guess that was the most referenced australian for sure yeah the thing in the pop culture media yeah well and it fit with uh the american belief of like well it's all just the outback you don't have cities you're just like nobody's in the wilderness being eaten by big field of blooming onions yeah so uh yeah here just the outback. You don't have cities. You're just like nobody's in the wilderness being eaten by dingo.

Big field of blooming onions. Yeah, so here's the second half of that phone call. You're just some punk kid, aren't you? Oh, you picked the wrong guy to tangle with here, mate. I don't think so. You're all the way in Australia. Hey, I think I hear a dingo eating your baby. Yeah, well, oh, that's it.

I love his anger. I'm going to report this to me, Member of Parliament. Hey, Gus! I got something to report to you. That's a bloody outrage, it is. I'm going to take this all the way to the Prime Minister. Hey, Mr. Prime Minister! Andy! hey mr prime minister andy hi mate what's the good word he's floating in a in a pond drinking a beer very homer simpson and nude he is nude uh the prime minister in 95 was paul keating though

not this guy named andy yeah it's funnier to hear them yell, Andy! Than Paul! Yeah. This, he would be replaced in just one year by the guy who would pass all those gun control laws there, post Port Arthur, which is a very depressing thing to talk about. Yes, but they fixed it. I just, yes, they did. It only took one massacre. They didn't have to wait for, what are we up to, like 500 at this point? Probably the 50th this year recently i honestly can't comment on the most recent massacre on this because a more

recent one will have happened within the next week but i just i just love bruno's like impotent rage like oh oh god oh i'd be so angry and yeah his member of parliament next door is feeding pigs feeding pigs hey they're proud farm people i just love all those uh the letters bart gets and that he has to like push them down that's a good i i like that escalation i was sad there wasn't more letter jokes there was nothing funny on the letters themselves yeah yeah that's true hopping mad collection i guess that's one of them but they could get i was freezing for like you know the little freeze frame jokes and there was really nothing not even a funny name of a city yeah like and i also think that they had a different act break i think for the episode

this is my theory that before lisa saying oh i think you should talk to mom and dad on this i think that was the act break because the act break is Bart saying, I'm getting indicted by Australia. That's our reason to block the TV. Boom. Yeah. When it comes back from the act break, it is the exact same shot. Like they didn't. So I think they just move the act break forward 30 seconds and ended on a joke

instead of a threat of Bart. I think you're right. But yeah. Well, it checks out. Then we get Homer learning of the existence of multiple countries for the first time. Bart, did you trick an Australian boy into accepting

a $900 collect call? Yes, sir. There it is. Australia. I'll be damned. Look at this country. You are gay. That whole you are gay and the laughter, that was the critical error window sound on my friend's computer for like five years.

So the computer was always calling you gay. That has haunted Uruguay in my mind ever since then. We had a similar moment in the library of our elementary school discovering the country and mispronouncing it, the country of Niger. When we heard like, I can't believe they called it this. Didn't they realize? And this was later referenced in the title of Super Mario Galaxy, You Are Mr. Gay. That's a really dumb reference.

That's all right. Now, yeah, you listeners, you don't know this. It was so funny, though, that every, like, like, there was a twinkle on each letter. On certain letters of Super Mario Galaxy, and they spell out U-R-M-R-G-A-N-G. U-R-M-R-G-A-N-G. Wow, I forgot about that. Classic 2010 era internet comedy. Because Dave was trying to find a new one for Super Mario Odyssey, because they did it again.

Mario 64 had, like, L is Real 2041 or whatever. Oh, yeah, man. Good. Such good times. But, all right. So then we get oh yeah baby i completely for i do not think of phil hartman as being in this episode of my memories but he is he was a last minute feeling i yes my theory is the mouth movements are a little off with him i think

they're like if we oakley has been very clear oakley weinstein were very clear on their commentaries like that phil hartman was their fixer. They're like, look, if this isn't as funny, we'll get Phil to say it. They called him a glue in SNL. So you think he dubbed after the fact. I think he dubbed after the fact. I think Conover was somebody else, and then they thought, no, it'll be funnier with Phil.

And it is. Oh my, hello. I'm Evan Conover with the U.S. State Department. Under Secretary for International Protocol, Brat and Punk Division. Unfortunately, Bart, your little escapade could not have come at a worse time. Americo-Australianian relations are at an all-time low.

As I'm sure you remember, in the late 1980s, the U.S. experienced a short-lived infatuation with Australian culture. For some bizarre reason, the Aussies thought this would be a permanent thing. Ofatuation with Australian culture. For some bizarre reason, the Aussies thought this would be a permanent thing. Of course, it wasn't. I know those words, but that sign makes no sense.

Anyway, the Down Under fad fizzled and the diplomatic climate turned absolutely frosty. Yeah, great performance. It's not, I mean, it is unmistakably Phil Hartman, but it's not Lionel Hutz and it's not Troy McClure. It's sort of a more fae-ty for his character. He's very fae. I mean, they went with it too, especially if it's like crossing

his legs, drinking tea. It's a very effeminate man. Perhaps he comes off as those kind of closeted government officials you see in films and stuff. That's what he comes off to be. I also love how obviously his name is

like Conover. Just to set up the line later like you sold us out con over that's right oh man i didn't even realize that was a joke that's awesome and and yes i guess let's explain all those australianian references in that slideshow well i mean i have a clip later for the knifey spoonie thing we'll get to that when it shows up. But Crocodile Dundee, huge hit in America and I believe in Australia. Why not? We were doing 30-20-10 where we talk about movies of 30, 20, and 10 years ago.

And Crocodile Dundee came up last year. Like Top Gun's the number one movie of that year. But Top Gun didn't cost pennies. Crocodile Dundee did.

Oh, yeah. And not even adjusted for inflation. It cost $8 million to make Crocodile Dundee. And I think that's being over generous. It made $3 million to make Crocodile Dundee, and I think that's being over generous. It made $328 million at the

domestic box. It might be one of the most profitable things ever made because of how much... I think it made most of America more aware or just aware of Australia as this different place that they didn't really think about. I also remember... White people look just like us.

My dad took me twice oh wow and it it was partially funded by the australian government and then warner brothers loved it so much that it poured money into it it was a very weird time i had i had seen young frankenstein but i had seen young einstein by point, but I had completely forgotten the man, Yahoo! Sirius, and I had Lisa's same reaction. I just thought those were random words put together in a picture of like, well, yeah, Yahoo! Sirius Festival.

That's nothing. But I watched that movie again. I forget why. It was for a laser time. The first half of that movie is fucking gorgeous. And you can see when it gets studio money it's like why don't we just stick around this one set now because before that it's like all over new zealand and australia and it is gorgeous well yeah they they realized how beautiful it is but look up great southern land

young einstein it's a great music video that's in the middle of the movie and it's awesome uh and also though i think when i think of the history of Yahoo! Sirius, I think of this great moment from MST3K. Then there's the time the country rallies together to beat back hell, like the time we as a nation said no to Yahoo! Sirius. I remember that. All of us together, drawn inexplicably to the slobbering mouth of hell, and then suddenly, somehow, by some unknown force, rescued in the nick of time like Moses and the Israelites. That's great. Trace is such a good puppet here. He's great, yes.

Listen to our interview with Trace Ballou. Oh, we did that. That's right. So Koala Blue, which I believe my mom had shopped in with me at some point, it was an Australian import chain co-founded by Olivia Newton-John, the famous singer-actress. And it lasts from 1988 to 1992. So that's like squarely the crazy Australian fad years,

like late 80s to early 90s. She went to strike while the iron was hot on that. I'm just judging with hindsight, but it seemed like Americans had discovered a white tribe that was long left undisturbed. These eccentric white people like Mark Jacko Jackson, who is the guy holding the giant Energizer battery. So this happened in my

lifetime. I don't remember this at all. Don't at all. This was their pre-Energizer bunny mascot. Like an insanely buff footballer who would go, oi, a lot. So we can play the Christmas Energizer commercial. Thank you. Oi! Time I get Christmas brighter, you need the

Energizer. To ride the extraordinary Energizer. Stuff these in your stockings, plant these by your tree. This battery has the most energy. To write the extraordinary Energizer. Santa? Laboratory tests prove in most devices Energizer lasts longer than any other battery. For energy, remember me scream it at you. Why?

That's Tobias! Exactly. Now I get all those too right things on MST3K. Oh, you're right. In Space Mutiny, they do that. I forgot about that. If anybody from Energizer is listening,

I just want to say, I think it's time you should diversify because I still see commercials for you, but I can't think of a product that whenever I need it, I resent it so much. Like, how the fuck does this thing still take batteries?

I mean, the Xbox One controller. I mean, what gear is this? It's when I need to capture a Wii game. I gotta put fucking Energizers in this. But I think they learned their lesson with that guy that they should they're like, no, we need to, we can't

own this guy. He's a human. So we need to make up a fake thing that we can own. And the Energizer bunny was even more, I was just shocked that line of like, what do you think of energy? Think of me! That's what screwed over Verizon with the dude who now went over to Sprint.

He can be like like i used to like verizon but now mr sprint and that fake sony guy too the fake sony exec man butler yeah so that time man that guy was funny and all but the hero worship of that dude i was like it's not that funny guys like fucking calm down it's cute at best i mean the ps3 sucks like who cares i know this guy's funny but uh it got better it got better no i never wore koala blue myself and meanwhile there was no vegemite sub thing in subway that's an acquired taste that shit did not get into vegemite no yeah it's awful but and then also the murder of castro that did That didn't go so well, that plan B. He would live another 20 years. It was a long plan.

He eats the slide, though, in front of them. I love that he swallows the slide. And so, yes, Conover, though, has a plan to fix all this. And Bart's childish taunting agitated the Aussies further. Oh, he'll agitate you. Oh, he sure will. What can we do for you? Well, it's too late to merely pay back the money,

but as a sign of good faith to our Australian friends, we'd like to imprison Bart for five years. That's tough, but fair. Boy, go with the man. No, no, no, no. I'm not going to have my son go to jail over some silly tiff with Australia. You'll just have to find some other country to have relations with. I love that.

You're sure now? The prison train is sailing. Okay, I'm not hearing a lot of support for prison. There is one other option. They'll drop the charges if Bart makes a public apology in Australia. I got a good chuckle out of Marge's very mom-like take on diplomacy and like find some other country to have relations with also the cute way she

just hugs Bart like no no no that's great animation too well meanwhile Homer's just like yeah it's tough but fair alright you're gonna go to prison for five years son get out of here go with the man go with the man you're gone and now oh that's beautiful and so we also get a return, we haven't had like the go through the earth jokes in a long time.

Cutaways like that. Who's that god? It's Shiva, I believe. Hinduism is the one true faith. We don't know it. I like that. Well, my favorite gag in there is that, well, I do like the guy who's crawling out of his coffin, but then got stuck halfway. But the dinosaurs in the coffins, just the idea of like, we just haven't dug deep enough to find that the dinosaurs buried themselves too.

Dinosaur funerals. And also Skylab did land in Western Australia. That is accurate. That's true. I forgot about that. So then the Simpsons land in Australia. We left at 1.30 p.m. Monday. What time is it now? It's 6.45 a.m monday what time is it now it's 6 45 a.m next wednesday you may also be interested to know that it's summer here not winter oh so yeah the math on that actually

does check out though it always confused me the way the way lisa says next wednesday makes me think it's a week from then instead of the time difference is 18 hours forward. So right now subtract six hours from where we are right now, but then think it's the next day. That's what time it is in Australia compared to the Pacific. But so if they flew for 24 hours and then had a 20 hour time difference, let's say Springfield is the middle of America. It would add up to it being the going from monday to wednesday that would work but not a week it's why i've never i've not wanted to go to australia because like i've been on a the longest flights i've been on have been to japan which are 11 hours it's like from the West Coast, a direct flight to Australia is more like 18 hours. It's ridiculous.

And I don't know. I am a first world man. Access to a ton of hygienic products. But it is a fascinating study to what happens to your body when just left unattended as you just live and breathe. And I haven't seen this episode in a while. And just the little frizzle on all of their clothes. Yes. It just brought all that back to me, how I feel after an 11-hour flight.

I didn't move. I just slept, and I'm filthy, and I need a shower, and this sucks. My hair is kind of droopy, too. My clothes are all screwed up. I just feel disgusting. I want everything off of my body. Kind of like how I feel right now, but I forgot to shower. We do see Homer sled for far too long before that joke lands, though.

Just like, why does he have a sled oh okay this is this joke i kind of wish for that joke he had been more like in a old warner cartoon where he just pulls it out behind his back like modern simpsons have to be a 25 carry on feed and uh yeah the bullfrog is a reference to the cane frogs who were brought over to Australia from Hawaii to kill cane beetles but then the frogs became a bigger problem all their own. The cane toads didn't even affect

the beetles and they affected biodiversity. Sorry, I'm doing a beetles impression. Oh, got it. So this happened like in the 30s so it's still a problem today and they're still looking for a solution to this today. I don't know. I don't want to go off on that too much,

but Florida's riddled with invasive species problems. Kudzu, man. Kudzu. To this day, the only way they can combat that, they plant it. It's beautiful. It's an invasive species. It'll seal all the water from your other plants. It'll murder every plant around it,

and the only way they can combat it in 2017 is to bring herds of sheep everywhere they everywhere they grew it and they eat it wow the sheep eat it nature wants to kill us even plants there was also look into the zebra muscle is story in america too of another thing taking over eucalyptus actually in miami they built them oh really near uh the canals and they soak up all the water and deny every plant around it sounds like they do need to import some uh koalas as the end of this episode says so uh then they meet the u.s ambassador to australia who actually in 1995 was a man named edward j perkins so not avril ward no it's not ever that's a great these are some oakley weinstein names. Avril Ward. It's just a boring, regular.

I love it. But the American Toilet, is this my, well, it's not my line of the show, but I do love this one. It's a great exploration of how dumb nationalism is. It's like you're getting weepy over an American toilet. That you spent millions of government money on just so it would flush the American way. And whatever Harry Shearer is doing here, I want more of this character. No. Yes, I like more of this character. No. Yes, I like that. I like that a lot.

Na-ock. Simpsons, I'd like you to meet our ambassador, the Honorable Averill Ward. Hello. Now, everything is all set for Bart's apology. Mr. Conover will meet you at the Parliament House at 3 p.m. Any questions? Yeah. Do the toilets go backwards in here? No.

To combat homesickness, we've installed a device that makes them swirl the correct American way. That sounds like the land of liberty. No pig. Good toilet foley.

Yeah. But I just got obsessed with the apparatus that's wrapped around. It looks like the end of The Watchmen. They've gone to the toilet just to make it swirl the other way. Just to make it swirl the American way. The correct way. That delivery of no. And then it makes them all cry.

It's beautiful. It was the opening joke uh sound in here but the it's a great dad joke of home like australia america australia but it also that's another great storytelling thing i'll give to oakley weinstein as the writers too like they need for plot purposes to set up that an embassy in a foreign country is foreign soil this is where i learned it can't be taken over yeah it's it's when i hear about say julian assad hiding in a closet you're like oh yeah it's like in australia where the simpsons hang out what about benghazi henry he's a very brave tattletale but so and and then also the the marine punching homer in the face multiple times where he's like, No, Marine, we don't take that kind of crap in America, sir. So they go around Australia.

I'm sure Aussies really love jokes about them being the descendants of convicts. Never gets old. It's something they really love. And so their trip to a pub is pretty great. Yes. You call that a knife? This is a knife. That's not a knife. That's a spoon.

All right, all right, you win. I see you've played knifey-spoonie before. Hey, give me one of those famous giant beers I heard so much about. Something wrong, Yank? No, it's pretty big, I guess. I'll just have a cup of coffee. Beer it is. No, I guess. I'll just have a cup of coffee. Beer it is. No, I said coffee.

Beer. Cough-ee. B-E-R-C-O-B-A. I love how they're able to turn beer into two syllables. Beer. Beer. It's just a parade of dumb jokes that I love so much. They're so good.

That Four Finger Discount article you brought up, they said the only beer they drink in this is Foster's, and apparently that would be like assuming every American drinks Budweiser. They say they don't drink Foster's there. It was a complicated thing to try and research. Foster's, I think, was a license that some beer company bought out during the Australian phase. So Australians have no affinity for Foster's. It's not really a thing there. It's Australian for beer.

Yeah, it's something we made into a thing. And I remember my dad, because Florida had such strict alcohol bottling rules. Like, we don't have, 40s are illegal. So if you travel across the Georgia line, you would be able to find these giant Foster's cans. But they couldn't sell them in Florida. So there was this weird novelty.

But they taste like garbage. No one likes the taste of it. It was more famous for the volume that it was sold in. I love Homer's. I've copied Homer's reaction of seeing something that's supposed to be impressive. Like, it's pretty big, I guess. Let's talk about Knifey Spoonie, though. Knifey Spoonie.

So this has been referenced on a previous episode. It was in Boy Scouts in the Hood, I think, where Moe and Hans Mollman are having a knife fight. And Hans Mollman has the Crocodile Dundee line. He falls over. The knife is too big. Down I go. But, yeah, this is the original scene here. You got a light, buddy?

Yeah, sure, kid. There you go. And your wallet. Nick, go and your wallet Nick give him your wallet what for? he's got a knife that's not a knife that's a knife

so he cuts the Eddie Murphy raw jacket off of that guy. Is that raw or dangerous? He cuts up Diet Thriller, man. I think it's raw. Whatever red suit Eddie Murphy jacket. Remember that scene in Beverly Hills Cop where he walks by a guy wearing that outfit, but Axel Foley laughs at it? No.

That's a classic. I wonder if that scene with some americans like finally a white guy showed a black guy what's up but it's yeah it does feel a little more innocent than like yeah oh he has a knife does he like the instant funk music when he appears is not so great you know yeah but it was also one of those multicultural gangs you see in yeah that's right but no i would love to the warriors Warriors, courtesy of Olivia Newton-John. As a kid, I'd see New York portrayed this way. I was like, I wonder if in 1988

anyone dressed like that in New York. I really doubt it. Maybe breakdancing troops dress like that. Crocodile Dundee is a fun film. I just want to say. And that scene is much cooler than the unlimited parodies you've seen that would make you think. And just want to say and that scene is much cooler than the unlimited parodies you've seen what would make you think and just looking at him in that scene i can totally see

why my mom was rubbing it out to paul hogan yeah he's so rugged it's yeah he's your protector he's also like he's not he's not intimidating he's like no this is nice it's funny but then he like slashes up his clothes with the implication of, like, I could have stabbed you to death right now. I mean, his head is covered in teeth. That's so cool. Yeah. That's not creepy and weird at all. But, okay.

By the way, guys, the Wulumbulu dirt mines are not a real thing. That's made up. I had to look up what it was referencing. It is Uluru, which used to be called Ayers Rock,. It is Uluru. Uluru. Which used to be called Ayers Rock, but that is the colonial name for it. Within Australia, they put it back to its native name of Uluru. It is a great Lisa joke for her to be excited about seeing a dirt monument. Look at pictures of it.

It looks cool as fuck. It does look cool, yeah. It's a giant gravity-defying pile of red dirt. It looks awesome. Now, Uluru is beautiful in photos photos i'd love to go there but yes uh bart is going bart is finally going to apologize which this was another point of that four finger discount article that the prime minister is also a judge like that is the prime minister but he is a judge in court which i couldn't tell it's it sounds like they don't really wear wigs all that much in in

courts in australia now too it's more of like a formal thing for a big fancy for a big trial like that they might put on i swear i saw them do it in a modern movie i mean in england they still do it i mean that was one of the most confusing i love law and order so i watched they did a bbc law and order law and order uk but it's where you get to see the differences between America and the UK. One is like closed circuit TVs are everywhere. They're like, oh, how are we going to find this thing in London? Well, TV caught it. Everyone was being filmed at all times.

We filmed it at all times. It's like, why does this cop pull out his gun? Well, they don't have guns. And then it's like, okay, time for all the court scenes. But obviously they're all going to have to wear robes and dumb wigs. All these barristers have to dress like this. It kind of hurts the same Jack McCoy type speech for me when they're all in like a big powdered wig. When you're cosplaying.

You're in wig court now. How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner, and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero Hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels and much more. Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier, and your world brighter. Find our net zero hub at electricireland.ie. Anyway, yes, Bart apologizes.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did to your country. Well, you're free to go, Bart. Right after your additional punishment. Well, a mere apology would be a bit empty hey let the booting begin booting no he's just a little kick in the bum who's the guy that comes in is that a mad max uh figure mad maxi i suppose it's like leather jacket and cut off jean shorts there's a much more clear mad max reference later yes but it

he definitely seems like a tough guy in the Mad Max style. I was trying to think off the top of my head what are the more famous Australian movies before this. And other than Gallipoli, I couldn't think of shit. And it could be a reference to that. I don't know. They kind of hit all the ones they could. But the most famous Australian movies pre-Crocodile Dundee all have Mel Gibson. I also love that story turn of like, after your additional punishment. All the ones they could. But the most famous Australian movies pre-Crocodile Dundee all have Mel Gibson. Yeah.

I also love that story, sort of like, after your additional punishment. It's so great. And that caught over new it the entire time. What kind of a sick country would kick someone with a giant boot? Mr. Simpson Shush. Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense. It's one of their proudest traditions. You sold us out, Conover!

That is a great line, yes. Disparaging the boot is a bootable offense. Is that a best line? Yeah, I'd say yeah. That's the joke. I mean, with the added sprinkles of Mr. Simpson Shush. Mr. Simpson Shush. That's now my favorite mean with the added sprinkles of Mr. Simpson shush That's now my favorite line

Knock knock I love that So are you lightly implying that he might have been playing a gay A gay person might have initially voiced Conover I don't know about that Maybe Whoever played him probably In my assumption that Phil Hartman is a secondary voice

Whoever played him did it in a fey way as well, because the animation is there. I'm going to tweet at Bill Oakley after this. Yeah, he'll know what to do. And then we have Homer's speech, which I love about the barbarity of Australia compared to America, which only gets funnier with each year in America. When will you Australians learn? In America, we stopped using corporal punishment, and things have never been better. The streets are safe, old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys, and the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer programming abilities.

So, like us, let your children run wild and free. Because, as the old saying goes, let your children run wild and free now boy run back to the embassy back to american soil and again like speaking of international incidents homer briefly holding the prime minister hostage yeah and then breaking out of parliament i love the boot on his fist you know like it's a gun that is that would be a huge internationalist homer would be going to jail for life he really did look like a sweeted mega man i do love that just him pointing the boot at everybody and uh and again though i would say when when the extra comedy in that is that australia has not executed anyone since 1967 the last time they sentenced someone

to death was 1984 but they commuted it to a life sentence so that their country has not executed anyone since 1967 so if we're going to talk to you about corporal punishment capital punishment they don't do that since in more than 50 years so, again, funny for us to judge them. But then we find out that apparently they don't know what boomerangs are in Australia. This is a great joke. I'll stop them! Oh, no! He's coming back this way!

That throwing stick stun of yours has boomeranged on us! Hey, we can get away in their pouches. Ew. It's not like in cartoons. Yeah, there's a lot more mucus. That's so great. On the young Chris checklist of what I know about Australia,

I was waiting for these references. And they subverted my expectations in a way I still think is fucking hilarious. They're both beautiful. They have boomerang as a term, as a verb, but they don't know what an actual one does. They just call it a throwing stick and it shocks them. They're like, it's coming back.

It's my favorite gag in this episode. Did you guys have a boomerang growing up in this Australian mania days? Yes, and I never, ever could get it to work properly. Same here. I had a Nerf boomerang that whistled when youian mania days yes and i never ever could get it to work same here i had a nerf boomerang that whistled when you throw but it would just throw it off into the distance it would never come back you still had to chase it yeah that's true yeah i did have a nerf boomerang did it whistle though they had to whistle yeah i'd use the wooden ones i saw people who could use them like just flawlessly they throw it and they don't move a step and boom it snaps

back in their hand so in my research of pouches though that apparently mucus it's not that there isn't mucus in there there is but what really pouches are for is to protect nipples like it is at least in kangaroos kangaroos when they give birth to a joey they are really they would be considered premature they aren't they they it's not like saying when a calf gives birth it can get around it can't so the pouch is like a second womb and that baby's got to eat something so nipples are inside of there if you look inside a pouch it is hairless and has multiple nipples in there and it's it's rather scrotal honestly i'm surprised you're not gagging right now. Eh, you know, the mucus is gaggier today than nipples, I'd say. But, okay, I don't get this side joke about the gift shop.

It's a Mexican gift shop? Like, why is it a... I think on the commentary they say it's a parody of a real gift shop between North and South Dakota or Carolina. I thought maybe so. I didn't check this out, but South of the Border gift shop was like a chain of gift shops. I see. Okay. So it's an added weirdness of a Mexican-style gift shop in Australia.

It's high quality. I love that. Pedro says high quality. And I love the joke. It reminds me of my mom. It's so sweet. This is such a great mom joke. Yeah.

It's so clever. Mom, you said I could have one souvenir, right? Well, I want a didgeridoo. Really good. That seems very noisy and expensive for a souvenir. Why did you get this nice cap? It's clever, just like you. Huh?

Huh? Get out. Get out. Huh? Huh? Get out. Get out. Shoot. Shoot. Get out of here. These bloody things are everywhere. They're in the lift and the lorry and the pond wizard and all over the Malanga Gilderchuk.

They're like kangaroos. But they're reptiles, they is. We have them in America. They're called bullfrogs. What? That's a nice name. I'd have called're called bullfrogs. What? That's annoying. I ought to call them Chazwazzers. What?

I know, it only occurred to me on this viewing, wow, Australia has its own squeaky voice teen. Thumbs up to Dan Castellaneta doing that voice in Australian accent. The made-up words are the bone whizzer and the malunga gilder chuck and also Chazwazzer these are all

like they could conceivably be australian words they're almost as good as like cromulet i think yeah yeah i also i love poe buddies nerfect yeah as a dorky kid who wanted to buy things at gift shops i absolutely had this experience of like can i get this expensive thing this rain stick yeah it was my dad loved native american shit so he went to like every reservation in this country and i yeah he but now i always wanted that rain stick i can see it from marge's position of like i'm not buying you a 70 didgeridoo that's gonna fill up your bag like here's a hat it's ten dollars i believe i believe lisa could learn how to efficiently play the didgeridoo but it it requires like a different you have to learn how to relearn how to efficiently play the didgeridoo. But it requires like a different, you have to relearn how to breathe. Yeah.

Consistent breathing through your nose. My mom has a didgeridoo and she's, yeah, she's still training herself and she has like decades of experience playing musical instruments so she can at least, she has a starting point for that.

Yeah, but you have to. Which I guess Lisa does too. Consistent, you breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth so you never stop blowing into the didgeridoo. Apparently when they recorded the special version of the theme for the ending,

the didgeridoo is a real one, but it's made out of plastic PVC pipe. It wasn't wooden. If you could have used a boo-boo-zell, I would have been totally fooled. I just love Marge's, eh? Eh? It is great because there's no real connection between Lisa and Marge. It's like, this is clever. You're smart. You like these things. I feel like that's a very sweet joke. So they run off to the embassy, chased

by every remaining stereotype of Australia they could. Still isn't many. There's an Aborigine in there, too. Yeah, they at least get one of the natives. How aboriginal. And we get a joke about American craftsmanship in there, which was funny. And then the phone bargaining scene actually kind of

reminds me a bit of Doctor Strangelove. This gets a bit more Vietnam in this episode. It's a direct shot. I like how cruel this is to Marge. I can't believe our government would set up a barn like that. I must say I'm very angry at the State Department right now.

Yes, but Mrs. Simpson, please. We're about to reach a breakthrough with the Aussies. Then it's agreed. During the bargaining session, we each. Simpson, please. We're about to reach a breakthrough with the Aussies. Then it's agreed. During the bargaining session, we each get two candy apples. All right, one candy and one caramel. Oh, for the love of criminy, give me that. I know Bart did something wrong, but he's my son, and I'm going to punish him myself.

Our countries may have their differences, but as human beings, I think we can all agree there's no substitute for the discipline of a loving parent. He wants to talk to you. Yellow! So we're in agreement. She won't be

allowed near the phone again. Poor Marge. I love that so much. It is sad that that has to happen to Marge, but it's another of those awesome, murky things of a rejection of sitcom tropes that would have been the end of the episode yeah even the music is built in to fool you it's like swelling music okay see common sense mom finally talked us out of this international incident instead it's like

nope it's she won't be allowed near the phone again. We should not have listened to them. I love how they celebrate that their compromise is exactly what the Australians wanted to. We did it. We've worked out a compromise that will allow both nations to save face. We've argued them down to a booty. What? The Prime Minister just wants to kick you once. Through the gate with a regular shoe. I believe it's a wingtip.

No deal. This is my son we're talking about. Sure, he's not perfect, but who is in this workaday world? No, Mom, wait. Looking at the toilet. It's time for me to bend over and receive my destiny.

Yeah, just like Michael Faye, his sentence was also argued down, but they were still going to do the booting. Yeah, they had to do it. And I'm on Australia's side here. Bart should have just get kicked once. Like, you were wrong. You did a bad thing. Especially, like, they, again, they're not pressing charges on homer for holding the prime minister hostage that's a pretty big deal you got like a free trip to australia worth thousands of

dollars and an act of uh you know shitty patriotism on australia's part but still take it yeah you want to kick my ass i'll go to australia for free right now i do love the we didn't even mention the flag with the butt on it getting kicked. Yes. Such a beautiful flag. I love that image. But yeah, so Bart seemingly is going to take his punishment. Thank you, Bart.

I promise I won't make fun of you later for this. Show them what American butts are made of, son. Marching up to the wall. That's it, lad. This is for the Commonwealth of Australia. And this is for the United States of America. Boy, that don't tread on me has taken on new meaning lately. Yes, it has, yeah.

But that but, that should be the fly. That should be the Gadsden flag. I agree. But again, it was used in such a selfish way of like, no, you're wrong, Bart. Just take your punishment. It is very much the American exceptionalism thing. It's like, you can't punish us. You dare to punish me?

Well, I'm going to use this as a, this is like a revolutionary war where I'm going to fight against the tyranny of you trying to punish me for doing what I wanted to do. And the shot of them fleeing on the helicopter is a shot of the fall of Saigon in 1975. It's the fall of Saigon, yes.

Which, a dark thing to joke about, that is, that's when America officially lost a war on the helicopter is a shot of the fall of Saigon in 1975. It's the fall of Saigon, yes, which, a dark thing to joke about, that is, that's when America officially lost a war that was not a war, it was police action, so we didn't lose a war.

Let's get out of here. We choose to leave. You didn't win. I was reminded, because the Ken Burns documentary, the great Vietnam series he just did for PBS,

what a fucking, what a goat fuck that whole colonialism did to that goddamn country yeah yeah they just want yeah it's oh boy we bombed this shit out and but again thinking about this in the context of like the simpsons just destroyed the american embassy in australia how can that ever go back how can that how do you fix that simpsons should be national news exactly they should have a weird al portion of his crash test dummies that song by the way never go back. How can, how do you fix that? Simpson should be national news. Exactly. They should have a weird Al portion of his crash test dummies.

That song, by the way, that was the first time I ever heard weird Al reference a penis. And it was very confused. There's a Bobbitt segment. Mr. Happy. Then they get in a little shot about Walter Mondale.

Yes. It's a laundry ship. He lost against Reagan in 84. The election. Quite poorly. Yeah. Quite badly. Pretty sure they're about to cover it on Stranger Things.

Oh, yeah. That'll be season three. Season five. Okay, so then we get the Simpsons not only piss off Australia, not only ruin U.S.-Australian relations, but also doom Australia, apparently, entire ecosystem. It's weird how Lisa is on board with this. Yeah, which she should at least be like no australia's wrong like i did like she compliments bard of like i'm surprised you drew so allegedly on your own butt that's a great line too hey look those frogs are eating all their crops well that's what happens when you introduce foreign species into an ecosystem that can't handle them.

I feel like The Simpsons has done 18 episode endings like that one. The smash zoom into a thing, an ominous thing. I love the pizzicato strings and also the didgeridoo behind it. It's like, I couldn't, what's that a reference to? It's a specific horror flick, and I couldn't figure it out. It kind of reminds me of the eye in Psycho. In Psycho, but it's just a horror trope, I think, that's gone beyond a single reference. I'd like to think the end shot forecasted hypno toad for my friend i i just

love that a koala the friendliest cutest thing in the world that they're zooming in like it's a threat and i also as a kid when i finished watching this i always imagined like well they just the next episode should have been an alien style survival horror thing of a walter mondale where they're fighting the koala they have to stop the koala from getting to America. But, man, that's one thing. I've always wanted to go to Australia just to hold a koala. If I could go to some animal place...

I heard they're mean little fuckers, unfortunately. They have to sedate that koala first. Well, then a sleepy koala fuck. And their claws are, like, super sharp. Yeah, they'll gut you, man. All right, I guess I've got enough cuddly animals I can hold here. That was a great episode. I really, it did color my idea of Australia for a long time.

Me too. And I think Australia is kind of over it. I think they've embraced it as like, eh, we got made fun of by the Simpsons. Everybody gets that. A gentle ribbing. They took it better than Brazil. Though in Brazil, they said everyone gets kidnapped all the time in Brazilzil which like that's a darker joke than anything australia and

it's infested with monkeys but yeah i say uh there's a ton of great jokes in this episode i just appreciate it i think even more for just how well built it is there's no fat from the first second it is setting up the story there's no joke that goes to waste it's very very perfect in terms of construction i love this episode it doesn't feel like they finish the script and they're like, we need five more minutes. All right, make up a thing that leads them to this point. Very well structured. It's television-y. It's cartoon-y.

It's got everything. And it's gone full circle with like, Australians find this mildly offensive. Two Australians just embrace this and love this for what it is. And I really like Wes Archer and his team. The designs on their vacation look are different than their itchy and scratchy looks. They could have just pulled out their itchy and scratchy looks. Bart has like a redder t-shirt for some reason. It's a more red t-shirt.

And Marge with her like, you know, preppy sweater tied around her. Yeah, a great episode. So this has been Talking Simpsons, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. And I've been your host Bob Mackey my other podcast is Retronauts every Monday

at retronauts.com or look for Retronauts in your podcast machine we also occasionally do bonus episodes on Fridays and like I said it is a classic gaming podcast I've been doing

it for about seven years now out of the 11 total so we've been around the block a few times and we probably talked about things that you like so please look us up on the internet and

retronauts.com including a bunch of terrible Simpsons games oh boy we have covered the hell out of those games we'll do more we'll do more and this podcast is supported on Patreon at patreon.com slash talking Simpsons we post every episode a week early and ad free on there not to mention that we have a ton of

exclusives like exclusive interviews we just did a really awesome one that we have the extended version of their interview with ian jones cordy the creator of okko oh yeah who's a fan of this show so hey if you i'm a fan of you yeah all you people who love okko you should listen to ian and listen to the show a famous person likes us if you're famous let us know uh every famous person who listens, let us know. We want to interview you. We love you, too. But anyway, yes. Patreon.com slash Talking Sims.

That's also where Talking Critic lives, where we go through every episode of The Critic. We're actually nearing the end. I'm shocked we're running out of Critic episodes. And we've got co-hosts Diana Goodman and Michael Raparis. Yes. And here's my segue from all that. We do a show called 30 2010 where you look what happened 30 20 and 10 years ago and mostly pop culture history speaking of terrible simpsons

games as we were for retronauts episodes the simpsons game is now a decade oh my god celebrates its 10-year anniversary right around this time right when visceral closes down the people who made it and from that to dead space yes it's wonderful in terms of Simpsons reference it's a terrible game and it's odd that recently on video game apocalypse the show hosted the video game

shows by Michael Paris like South Park is the game whether you like South Park or not it's game is a great in terms of celebrating what South Park is it's a great game and oh yeah

we also talked about Steven Steven Universe's save the light it's also a really good paper Mario as a game that just came out. But that Simpsons game should have been, on paper, it looks like the greatest thing ever with exclusive animation. It basically made a whole episode worth of animation.

There's like a 60 to 90-minute good episode in there, but the gameplay is awful. It sucks. Just watch that on YouTube. Yeah, but it's a very funny game. And then Laser Time, the topic-based show. I'm currently researching this as of this recording, but we just did an episode about how critics suck,

and we're calling out the critics who shit on in reviews some of the greatest things of all time. It's been very difficult for me to find someone shitting on The Simpsons. The whole world unanimously seemed to love it in 1989 immediately, but I'm going to find that one wayward asshole who disparages the show. I'm going to find it in 1989 immediately. But I'm going to find that one wayward asshole who disparages the show. I'm going to find it, I swear. Maybe Michael Medved will be your key to that problem.

But wait and hear what Fuddy Duddy's had to say about the Beatles, Star Wars, Jaws, Robocop, these jerks who hated some of the greatest things of all time. I hate them too. Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next week with Homer vs. Patty and Selma. We'll see you then. Thank you.