Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Bart's Friend Falls In Love

Episode Date: August 24, 2016

Inexplicably, Milhouse actually gets a girlfriend and Bart doesn’t take it very well. Meanwhile, Homer learns new words when he’s supposed to lose weight in this week’s podcast…

today's talking simpsons is brought to you by lola feminine care listeners can visit try my lola.com slash laser time for 50 off your first two box order that's 18 all natural 100 cotton tampons delivered to your door just by heading to try my lola.com slash laser thumb. Ahoy, hoy, everybody. Welcome to Talking Simpsons, where we have throbbing biological urges. I'm Bob Mackie, a concern proved with a lot of time on his hands. Who else is here with me? I wrote all these down, by the way. Chrysantista. I don't have a funny name. Jesus.

Henry Gilbert. Living off Uncle Sucker. That's what I was supposed to be! I wrote it down the other day. And in case you just downloaded this randomly, this is the Laser Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Today's episode is Bart's Friend Falls in Love, which aired on May 7th, 1992. My 10th birthday, everybody. Happy birthday, me. And Chris is going to tell us what happened on this mythical day in history, aside from my 10th birthday, which is pretty great.

Oh my god! Gonna have to modify this. Bob Mackie is 10, as well as Ross Perot obtains double the amount of signatures needed to get on the presidential ballot. David Bowie marries him on and Donald Trump reveals some bold aspirations. He claims he would like to host a CBS variety show in the Ed Sullivan Sunday Slash. Wow, what a dreamer.

He'll never preach that level of popularity. It's so funny that Ross Perot is the crazy one then and and then 24 years earlier, he's got the... And Donald Trump aspired to be Tom Snyder? Am I hearing this right? Or like, Greg Kinnear? It's a much better job for him, though. Yeah, I agree. Yes!

Somebody give him an offer now! He'd be an entertaining idiot there, but it's funny that Ross Perot is like the only time in our lifetimes a third party candidate has been at those debates. It was also the only time 11-year-old children that everyone had a fucking presidential candidate impression. Exactly. Amanda Bynes, I believe. Dana Carvey's Ross Perot.

Keenan Vanish. Keenan Vanish. When you were quiet there for 20 minutes, that was pure class. Dana Carvey had to do double duty playing George Bush and Ross Perot in the same live sketch where I guess part of it was probably video, part of it was him playing one character. No, it's so sad. It's David Spade in the long shots. He's dressed up like Dana Carvey as Ross Perot.

Yeah, that's why Perot says, who's going to do Live from New York? I'll throw it to the guy who's not on tape delay. Why don't you say it? And yeah, Perot is a magical, crazy person. Crazy rich person. Like a Ron Paul type figure. Surprisingly rational in the face of every third party candidate we've met since. But he also came from a time where he was like, hey, I'm rich.

You want to be the Republican candidate? But that year they're like, no, we're going with the guy in office. You can't run against the incumbent president for the party nomination. Oh, I can't, can I? And so then he just leeched away votes from Bush and gave his president Clinton. Throw your vote away. Throw your vote away. Yeah, but he's still around.

Well, meanwhile, now Gary Johnson can't get on any stage. Oh, poor Gary. Poor Gary Johnson. So this episode opens with the Raiders of the Lost Ark parody using the official music and everything, too. And it was the first, one of the first real long movie parodies that I actually got, having not seen a lot of Hitchcock or Citizen Kane at this point. I like that Homer plays the boulder and the tribesman at the end. I can't get a clip of it, but the tribesman, I still think it's one of the funniest drawings of Homer, him holding the rake. But he had been speaking English to that point, so it wasn't like he was just so angry he was speaking gibberish.

I love the image of Homer in his underwear ranting in the driveway as a bus full of children drives away. The garage gag is great. The boulder gag is great. His gut crashing through the garage door. It's so funny. This is Jim Reardon, who I like as a director. Yeah, beautiful job that Reardon did in the opening. It is a very critic opening, though,

in that they're just like, we got to kill time. Okay, a minute-long recreation of a film. But you can see the level of detail and difficulty in producing this scene in a hand-drawn era. Was it? And then they got John Williams' Raiders March.

It is the real music. They got permission. What episode was it that opened with the Roadrunner period? Is that the Dog of Death, I think? No, that's Rancho Relaxo.

Okay, it has nothing to do with anything that follows. I was just wondering. It's very similar to this and that. Sorry, that was the first one I got. So when I thought of things, I think I loved The Simpsons even more than I thought I already loved them because of these gags that I don't.

I wasn't getting it as an 11-year-old. So they joke about this on the commentary that Matt Groening, around when this aired, Matt Groening was at a fancy Hollywood party and Steven Spielberg was there. And he thanked him. He was like, hey, thanks for letting us use the Raiders music in our thing. And he's like, oh, well, thank you, Steven Spielberg was there, and he thanked him. He was like, hey, thanks for letting us use the Raiders music in our thing. And he's like, oh, well, thank you, Steven Spielberg replies, thank you for not letting us use the Simpsons music on Tiny Toons. When I heard that on the commentary, I remember what bit that was on Tiny Toons. Babs transforms into all the Simpsons one at a time, and does lines as all of them.

I forget what episode that was. But Matt Groening's defense was like forget what episode that was but I but Matt Groening's defense was like well I was Fox saying no it wasn't me he doesn't have the power Groening for all his riches doesn't have the power that Spielberg has of allowing the Raiders

I've had to write about Spielberg's power too much if you care to learn more about Spielberg's power and Roger Rabbit have I got an article on you for the latest on podcast.com we'll spielberg when he's gone it's crazy we won't realize we're just used to like yes spielberg he does everything he puts he still makes good movies he's a force of good to make good things happen i can't wait until he has another he seems to need to make a movie every year which is unnecessary but then occasionally he's just like yeah i want to make munich whoa whoa j's just like, yeah, I want to make Munich. Whoa. Whoa, Jesus.

Really? I love Munich so much. I want to make Empire of the Sun. What the fuck? This is so good. And that was seen as like a flop for him, Empire of the Sun. This is also a very Lucky Red Hat episode. I think this is the most we've seen of Bart's Lucky Red Hat ever that would only really come back when

my boy is a box. Yes, exactly. Just for that wonderful joke. So we are now introduced to the oversized novelty billiard ball, which is like the non-union Mexican equivalent of the eight ball. I didn't get that. I didn't either. I did not say it. Same with, like, throwing discs.

I did not get that. I got it this time only. Wow. This is them consulting the eight ball. And then compared to the last episode, this episode is all about one thing from like almost the very start. Hey, I got a good one. Will Milhouse and I be friends till we're toothless old men with hair coming out of our ears?

Don't count on it. Will Milhouse and I be friends when we're high school dropouts living off Uncle Sucker? Uncle Sucker. It looks doubtful. Will Milhouse and I be friends at the end of the day? What could come between two bestest buddies like us?

Again, girl. Did you hear the title of the episode, people? Yes, exactly. And listening to the audio without the visuals, you can hear the swishing of the eight ball.

It's very good. I'm sure it's just a real eight ball they're shaking up against the microphone. There's a scene later I'll point out the foley. Unnecessary level of foley work that you will hear now as I say the clip.

I believe it's Travis Powers who does the foley for The Simpsons. They call him out a lot. I think this title is a lazy title of an episode. They're just like, Bart's friend falls in love. No wordplay, no pun. Again, that's the only thing consistent about all 27 seasons of the simpsons the titles are all lazy they try a little too hard it's at some point they're so bad like but it's weird it's like it's bart's friend falls in love that millhouse

falls in love or millhouse's affair it's probably so a parody of something that we've never heard of like i married marge was i married whatever Yeah, so when we're introduced to Samantha Stanky. Yes, we are. We're Vietnam. Samantha, I've always been suspicious of transfer students. Other principals try to unload problem cases that way. Lord knows I do. I'm a good student, Principal Skinner.

Yeah, sure, and they told me I'd get a big parade when I got back from Nam. Instead, they spat on me. I can still feel it searing. As a kid, I didn't realize, like, oh, it was not good to be in Vietnam. I feel like they would get more creative with Skinner's Vietnam. Here it's just played straight, but later it would be like, I couldn't get the spices right. And him yelling at his platoon for reading Mad Magazine, things like that.

But here it's just very serious. The idea of a cartoon character having been through Vietnam is the joke. But they are doing the... It's like the escalation of Homer's stupidity. Not only has he... I was in Nam. I drove an

all-terrain vehicle in Da Nang. In this one he's like, I was in a tiger cage for 18 months. It's like, whoa! You're not just a Nam vet, you're a POW. He's like, I was in a tiger cage for 18 months. Like, whoa, you're a P. You're not just a non-vet. You're a POW. He's like a McCain figure almost.

Yeah. And then it really gets to its apex where he finds his old helmet and like, still fit. I love how it goes right from that to Skinner introducing Samantha in the class. And going from this pitiable Vietnam vet to just this oblivious dickhead. Attention class, I have a new student for you. Great, another student. Just keep packing them in, Seymour. We should discuss this later, Edna.

No, it's never easy to come to a new school, so let's make her feel right at home. Please say a big elementary school hello to Samantha Stinky. Stinky. Stinky. Oh, right. How embarrassing for you. Well, goodbye.

I love that. It's so on the nose. And Samantha Stinky is played by Kimmy Robertson, just a character actor. Yeah, I thought it was just Tress McNeil or somebody from the regular voice cast for a long time. She was on Twin Peaks. She's on a lot of just random bit parts and stuff like that. I believe Henry said she was on Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. She's in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids as a character, Gloria.

Okay. And she's also in Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dad. I believe Kogan or Walidarski says they were going to stunt cast her. We saw Winona Ryder and Meryl Streep playing kids, but I believe they just ran out of time. This is a late season episode, and running out of time is a big thing with these late season episodes.

I mean, she does a good job. Oh, yeah, she's great. And funnily enough, like, Winona Ryder would later be... A love interest. Yeah, she would be a Bart love interest, as would Meryl Streep and Sarah Silverman. Oh, right, yeah.

Or Sarah Gilbert. Oh, Sarah Gilbert, right. And Sarah Silverman, too. In later seasons, you don't want to watch. But I like all the, it's again, great observational stuff about what it is to be a new kid. I've been there. Samantha's little monologue in general is fucking beautiful. Why don't you stand up in front of the class and tell us about yourself?

I'll be grading you on grammar and poise. We just moved here from Phoenix. My dad owns a home security company. He came to Springfield because of its high crime rate and lackluster police force. All my friends are back in Phoenix, and this town has a weird smell that you're all probably used

to, but I'm not. It'll take you about six weeks, dear. This was the year I was the new kid in my school. I went to a new school in 1991, and I was the new kid in this Catholic school. I didn't know anything about Catholicism. I would still not learn about it. I was expected to know all these prayers. We talked about this in an earlier episode.

But I identified with Samantha. All this stuff is weird. This town smells funny, and I don't know anybody, and it's kind of scary. Yeah, but I know – well, actually, I'd been through that once. My family moved in 1990. We only moved across town. I can't. But it felt the same, like just all new people.

Yeah. Yeah. So we moved in 1990. So I experienced it then. And then the week the episode Lisa Beauty Queen aired is when I moved the next time and final time to Florida. And I always like, I mean, we'll talk about it in that episode, I guess,

but I always connect that episode with, this was the first night in our new place. Like we're like, well, we've got the TV, we've got the VCR hooked up. Like, let's get all this set up first.

We can't miss the Simpsons. And we like, didn't have everything moved in yet, but we had that set up to watch the Simpsons, tape it, and eat Pizza Hut. I can't move furniture or assemble anything unless the TV's hooked up first. I mean, I said this was my birthday. I had my first and only official child birthday party this year, and I think I still made it home in time for The Simpsons. Your first birthday party?

My first, like, let's have a birthday party for you at a place, at an establishment. Not like, oh, you're home. Here's a gift. Have fun. Here's a cake. Segway into Bob's sad life as a religious kid. Were you asked to leave the room during sex education videos? No I was the non-religious one in a religious school. Class, in order to explain why

your hormones will soon make you an easy target for every smooth talking lethargo with his own car and tight jeans, I will now show a short sex education film. Ezekiel and Ishmael, in accordance with your parents' wishes, you may step out into the hall and pray for our souls. He's pale little Mormons. Before or after, Nelson goes, where's Mr. Cabal? That's afterwards.

But the 10 years old is a little young for a sex ed class. Really? I had it when I was 10. It was fifth grade. I mean, you were in Florida. I was in Florida in fifth grade. I was told by the evil Baptists. Is this where you admit you were in a fancy-schmancy private school?

I wasn't in a private school. No, I was. But we were lax Catholics. This was public school, and I guess, yeah, they really didn't so you know Florida is a very conservative area of Florida and so it was abstinence only that was the thing it was this to

not the don't do it thing at the end of this that was just where it started just like it wasn't about how to safely do it or what it meant it was just about like only they scared us with STDs. It was a scared straight thing. I'm like, oh, you could get this STD

and like your dick will fall off, man. And thank you for segwaying into the... I have so many clips of... It's my quest to constantly get every Troy McClure line ever or every Phil Hartman. Dropping biological urges. But when I talked about the Foley work earlier, he starts out in a doctor's office

and you can hear him get up off a paper, he starts out in a doctor's office, and you can hear him get up off a paper table and his feet hit a doctor's floor. Great, awesome. Hello, I'm actor Troy McClure. You kids might remember me from such educational films as Lead Paint, Delicious But Deadly, and here comes the metric system. I'm here to provide the facts about sex in a frank and straightforward manner and now here's fuzzy bunny's guide to you know what copyright 1971 that's a funny and a subtle joke that i never i'm frank frank manner and it's a metaphor wrapped in an analogy it's it's it gets

pretty explicit according to the scenes that we don't see it's like matt gra's like Matt Groening meets Fritz the Cat, I think, his animation. This would have been an opportune time to put in the binky Life in Hell kind of characters because they basically look exactly the same with their ears bent. They're just purple, yeah. This is Fuzzy Bunny. About a year ago, he noticed his voice was changing. He had terrible acne and had fur where there was no fur before. He also noticed Fluffy Bunny.

Boring. Also, the only thing this matches up with is my puberty. I am going through puberty a little early around this age. Were you shaving at Chris? Yeah, like I had a mustache in seventh grade. Wow, I still can't do that. My mom made me bleach it because I refused to shave it. Jeez.

There's a picture of me still in our hallway where I look so awkward. So I love Fluffy and Fuzzy at the gun range. That's one of my favorite shots. And then they're both Jewish, apparently. It's a true feel that they're Jewish. Mazel tov. Fluffy and Fuzzy went to the park, the ice cream social, the boat show, and various other wholesome activities. And they never ruined their fun by giving in to their throbbing biological urges.

Then came the big day. Fluffy and Buzzy got married. That night came the honeymoon. She's faking it. Never ever got that at the time that Dirtiest joke so far What do you think? Yeah, no A joke about faking an orgasm

Yeah, and they're showing that to children A clever joke that again I didn't pick up on at the time That this is so 70s They're in 1992 watching an informational tape From the 70s because Springfield sucks and so does its elementary school budget. And the porn music actually works because it's from that era.

Yes. Everybody's in giant bell bottoms and there's whatever that fucking flower logo is. I love Troy McClure's outfits. He has hair. He's not quite as aged as he is in the 90s. Massive lapels. It's Troy at his most popular. Yeah.

The height of his popularity. And he's like, oh, this will never stop. I love it. Here Comes the Metric System might be one of my favorite unseen Troy McCl most popular. The height of his popularity. And he's like, oh, this will never stop. Here Comes the Metric System might be one of my favorite Unseen Troy McClure titles. But this is it for Troy McClure. Aww. The most satisfying part of the night was knowing that they waited.

Nine months later, Fluffy gave birth to 14 beautiful bunnies. Eight survive. And now that you know how it's done, don't do it. I miss Phil Hartman so much. He adds, I mean, the lines are funny, but his inflections

add like nine times the comedy to every joke. But he's an expositional miracle. I don't know if there's an equivalent of short films. I guess there's still the fucking news, but he was such a great way to introduce an entire world of story to The Simpsons as an amazing character. I miss him so fucking much. Now, this is what I thought sex ed would be.

But a couple years later, the closest thing I got to it, like I said, it was just abstinence only, which statistically speaking doesn't work. Kids are going to want to fuck. Yes. And you're better off telling them how to do it in a way to not have children than not telling them anything. My favorite example, and I wish I would have kept this book, because we had a sex ed class that, of course, was taught to by the most qualified person, the gym teacher. Of course. There weren't assigned books, but there was one book in the classroom where the whole book is like long long chunks of text very descriptive

and clinical and unsexual and stock images of kids playing sports so of course there's one book where every time there's a ball

a kid drew another ball next to it and then another object coming off of that so it's all these kids with smiling faces like waiting to cradle

a giant dick it's very educational and so like oh man I hope I get it's very educational it's and so like oh man i hope i get that book this time everybody was so well so happy if they could get that book i want the dick variants of my educational book and also the closest thing i had to the leave the room and pray for our souls kid was that um i think it was fourth or fifth grade in florida i they were having like an hiv one about the dangers of aids it was it was a video for that and you had to bring home a uh you know thing for your parents to sign

and i wondered why it was my mom said it was because they didn't in the video they make it clear that non-gay people can get it and that it is not like a punishment and one that they're even talking about homosexuality in it and two that they don't make it clear like that it is not like a punishment and one that they're even talking about homosexuality in it and two that they don't make it clear like oh this is not punishment from god for being gay like straight people can get this like magic johnson exactly we never i mean this is a stupid tangent but it was national news and i love going back to florida and talking about it with people there was a teacher at the high school who decided to create a program in his classroom. If everybody gets a B on this history test, I'll let you watch whatever movie you want.

And in a time before Reddit and the internet, everybody voted for I Spit on Your Grave. And the teacher didn't screen or look into what that movie was. I can't handle that movie. And if you don't know what it is, it is a, what would you call it? It's a four acts of just pure unadulterated rape. It's like a series of graphic rape scenes followed by graphic murders. I mean, that was,

it was, there's so many B movies of the 70s made like that that are, they're rape revenge stories. Like a horrible violating sexual assault happens at the start of the film. Like Last House on the Left is identical almost.

And so, as justification for horrible violence to be done to the rapists. But this is, I've seen the movie now, and it's more terrible than that, because there are four men, one guy does something, she crawls away, and then they find her again, and another guy in the group takes

his turn, and these are just scenes that occur over and over. And so, like, the story about it is, like, it became national news because like he i think he like left the room or something like that and just slowly people started running out of the room screaming oh my god um because they're like freshmen yeah and i have no idea how they got that through the vote in the 90s that would be considered a snuff film almost yeah like oh what the and the film is so notorious they fucking remade it by a major Hollywood studio. Holy shit. Yeah, that's crazy.

And I don't think they remade it the same way, but that's how notorious the title is. But there's still lots of rapes. Sorry, that's out of nowhere. You know... This is my line of the show. How about that? That's the joke. You will never fall in love and marry out of fear of dying alone.

How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey type creature? I'm sorry, that would be playing God. God schmott, I want my monkey man. I think we all feel the same way Bart does. Well, now that as a 34-year-old single man, I'm not laughing as hard at the... You'll all die alone? Out of fear of dying alone.

I did have the, like I have it now, everybody getting a girlfriend or getting interested in women before, like, do we really want to go down that road just yet? Like, Hot Wheels are awesome. Can't we just do this? Yeah, like I'm getting weird directions too, but like let's just play Nintendo and ignore all this. Yeah, but meanwhile, like Milhouse and Samantha have already fallen in love.

This is every courtship I've ever had. That's a nice dress. My dad makes me wear it. I hate it. Well, I hate it too. Spineless. Can I walk you home? Okay. I'm having to walk back every single line. Yeah, that is a dumb joke.

I don't know if it's been introduced yet, but we're neglecting the B plot, which is kind of weird. It's a little bit later. It's not just yet. I have it's been introduced yet, but we're neglecting the B plot, which is kind of weird. It's a little bit later. It's not just yet. I have it here. Go ahead, Hank. Well, I liked – so in Bark, it's the little auto joke that's in there. I did like him saying, no can do, barman.

He said that his girlfriend is dancing topless at the airport bar from 4.15 to 4.20. Ah, 4.20. So is that intentionally a 420 joke? Yes, I believe 100%. When Apu priced something a different way, he said 420, and I believe that was even a weed reference. Okay.

But the B plot is Homer losing weight, and this is one of my favorite jokes I never picked up on until like two years ago. Sugar. And dip it in rich creamery butter. Dad, what if I told you you could lose weight without dieting or lifting a finger? I'd say you're a lying scumbag. Why, sweetie? According to Eternity Magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is subtly implanted in your head without you even knowing it.

Oh, Lisa, that's a load of rich creamery butter. They'll send you tapes you listen to while you sleep. As you hear New Age music, a powerful message goes to your brain telling you to eat less. Lose weight and listen to New Age music? Wow. What do you think, Marge? Oh, Homer, I love you just the way you are. Lisa, what's that number?

Here's the thing. The parody food in this episode is now the Carl's Jr. menu. There is no, not even a joke, I mean, even selling it through, like, sex. The Good Morning Burger is Carl's Jr. Yeah, they have an AM burger. It exists and it's probably even worse in real life now. They're all worse. I mean, I also love the Kent Brockman stuff about American obesity was great.

The canyon is very big. It's like it's two-fifths of the way up. It might not sound like a lot, but, you know, the Grand Canyon is very big. You're right. That is an excellent show. There's a lot of... And Santa dying in the rain. That's right.

Yeah, the dramatization. There's a lot of business in this of Lisa reading a magazine that I don't think doesn't land for you well. Eternity magazine, yeah. Was that a parody of something real? I have no idea what that is. There's a reference to that song 2525 on the cover that we see a lot. Yeah, it's a joke that keeps appearing. Because I remember all the magazines from back then.

I don't know what that could possibly mean. I mean, I guess it's like there were futurist magazines. There were so many. But why would they talk about dieting? Well. Talk about subliminal advertising. Look, it's even hard for me to remember. Like there were magazines for everything because there were tons of magazines even in the early 90s.

It's on the tip of my tongue what this is a direct parody of, but I can't think of it. So a commenter will yell at us now. Yes, please. The Simpsons will be right back. Hello, Talking Simpsons listeners. I hope we're all sympathizing with Samantha Stanky, who clearly gets the terrible end of the stick in today's episode. On that terrible segue, I wanted to remind you guys that this show, Talking Simpsons, is brought to you by Lola, an exciting new place for a modern approach to

feminine care. That's right. You Samantha Stinkies out there, that is a terrible way to bring this up. But in case you didn't know, Lola has a very special offer for you. They're natural, thoughtfully crafted tampons delivered to your door. So, or you, or more specifically to me, the man in your life doesn't have to pick them up for you uh you can visit try my lola.com that's t-r-y-m-y-l-o-l-a.com slash laser time and you can get 50 off your first order of two boxes that's 18 worth of stuff for just nine baby why use lola instead of hoofing it to that uh walgreens down the street well lola's tampons are 100 natural no dyes no no additives, nothing

you wouldn't want sitting inside your bod for an extended period of time. What's even better for the Lola subscription model is that you determine the frequency of your deliveries, how many boxes you want, what types of tampons are in those boxes, and you get the first order for half off just by going to trymylola.com slash laser time. And guys, if there's a special Samantha Stanky in your life, you probably had to head for a surprise tampon purchase. But with Lola, neither of you have to worry about how many tampons are left in that little box anymore because there's an order on the way. So again, Talking Simpsons listeners can go to trymylola.com and get 50% off your first order. How we use electricity can be smarter,

cleaner, and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero Hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans,

EV tariffs, solar panels, and much more. Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home greener, your home cozier and your world brighter. Find our net zero hub at electric Ireland.

Dot. I. You like laser time shows. Then you might like bonus time laser times, weekly bonus show exclusively on patrion.com slash laser time. Here's a taste of what you've been missing. Before you came on, you asked for me to bring a game cube controller which... I got a Wii system for you.

What? I think I accidentally dropped it, so it got cracked a bit. Don't worry, it's still worthless. Maybe you guys can hang on to that. Did something get in the cracks of the Wii? Something might have filled up inside of it. If this was a coffee, would it be a home brew? Yeah, yeah. I would say so.

I don't know if you guys have one or not. Keep up, Chris. How does that work? It doesn't. It's broken. It's cracked. Someone just built home-brewed coffee on it. It was a popular scene. Some other friends had a similar fate where their Wiis were cracked. Oh, that's terrible to hear.

If this system had a pet, it their we was were correct oh that's terrible if this system had a pet it would be an emu or emu yeah and then i would see the emu later yeah yeah who are we hiding from get bonus time laser times weekly full-length uncensored and ad-free patreon exclusive podcasts as well as weekly full-length movie commentaries wrestling and cartoon video commentaries physical rewards the first season of Talking Simpson, and more at patreon.com slash LazerTime, starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live, and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. but that that the whole b plot is only there for a couple of good jokes of homer he acts instead of getting the weight loss subliminal program he gets the vocabulary one one thing though what's that having been to grad school i'm like these words aren't complicated these are on the gre

uh yeah at the time they were very. And I doffed my cap. Homer, has the weight loss tape reduced your appetite? Well, lamentably, no. My gastronomic rapacity knows no satiety. Satiety, I still, like, no, I've never encountered that. Like the ability to be

satisfied. Yeah, yeah, satiated. But, like, the gourmand becomes the voluptuary. grumman metamorphosis oh but it morphosizes sorry voluptuary it's all the harvard words yeah i mean these are harvard writers showing off their to their harvard education yeah that's what it is but as a kid those words were nothing to me and now hearing them as adults i'm like i know all those words i know what homer's saying and it's weird that marge doesn't yes marge should be kind of smart enough to know. And I like that it's Marvin Monroe on something like, Hi, this is Marvin Monroe.

That is great. Here to increase your vocabulary. I think that's the last good Marvin Monroe. I meant abattoir. I meant to get a clip of Marvin Monroe. Yeah, that's relaxing New Age music and then, Marvin Monroe, Marvin Monroe. The cattle were slaughtered in the abattoir.

That's beautiful. So, Henry, I know you'll relate to this clip though That Milhouse invites Samantha over to the treehouse And they want to read comics Hi Hey what's with the skirt I brought friends to this treehouse before

Yeah but never a girl What if I want to strut around nude Maybe I should go No that's okay. You can stay. You can read comics with us. Let's see. Something for the lady. Ah, Radioactive Man versus the Swamp Hag.

Got any girl comics like Bonnie Crane Girl Attorney, Pumpkin and Duncan the Twinkle Twins, or Lonely Socks? No, but my sister's got a wide selection of crappy comics i i love lonely socks i think little little little knee socks okay yeah she kind of slurred that little uh lulu parody maybe i think so i want to see if you could see what they were parodying there mary worth i'm guessing yeah i would think mary worth and then one of them's more like a uh the the twink the tinkle twins are more like the Hardy Boy. No, the Nancy Drew.

The Boxcar Children. I loved girl comics. I loved Sabrina. I loved Archie. I thought it was so sexy. Girl comics have gotten better since then, but I do remember as a little boy and as a growing boy just like, oh, comic books, you want to read them? I'm like, well, what are they?

They're all just superhero fantasies. Like, you'll be bored. But that's the thing. When Bart brings up the comic for a great transition, it's a romance comic, which is like...

From like 1954. That was non-existent. It's like doomed romance. Yeah. I think it's called... That was non-existent in 1992. I mean, it was like a... It was the stuff

Lichtenstein got for his pop art. Exactly. Like women biting their knuckles and like fretting and sweating. How could you get with him type things. Yeah. But comics for little girls have gotten a lot better now. I think so.

Yeah. So when Bart's doing the baseball card trade thing too, I was super into baseball cards at that time or I just stopped it. And though I didn't have any old cards that were worth anything. So real quick, Omar Var viskell the one bart trades for the color used tramp ski card more continuity more continuity was the one he bought yeah or i guess he almost bought well i guess he got the money in the millhouse later bought it 100 bucks three minute comic book throwback people so omar viskell is a hall of fame had a hall of fame

worthy career uh 10 golden glovesves, three MVPs. Be careful, it's sports talk. People are going to yell at us. I know if I get one of these things wrong. And he is one of very few players to have played in four different decades. Not four, four decades, but like end of the 80s up to the early 2010s. The same way Mickey Rooney had acted in ten decades. Exactly.

Just barely. Wow. 10 decades. Exactly. Just barely. Meanwhile, that 1958 Mickey Mantle card is a specific card. I looked it up. That pose of his face that they draw, that is a specific card that today is worth $500. You can get it $500 on eBay. So then it was probably around the same, I would bet, or a little less. So that was a big-time baseball card Bart was training.

Did anybody lose a friend as a kid? Did you ever lose your friend to a girl or someone of the relationship of some kind? I don't think we took girlfriends as seriously as Milhouse did when we were 10. It was sort of like, I guess this is what dating is. I was 14 for me. Yeah, I guess it happened. It happened for me, though, like more like at 16 or whatever. But I was the Bart character, not the Milhouse character. No, I was always Bart, too.

But I had a lot of dateless friends who, I look back at it, probably had psychological problems and just couldn't get intimacy issues. But because their parents divorced at an early age. Yeah, why not go for it? I'm 10. No, I mean. Filled with beans? At like 18, they had never had a girlfriend. So and but when they did get a girlfriend, then I was the guy like, I thought we had fun hanging out.

Now this new person is here wants to play our tabletop role playing game and had a girlfriend at 18. Oh, yes. It's the woman's fault. It's exactly like, hey, I'm on the outside looking in on this dating girls thing. But I definitely did get the Bart feeling of like, hey, I thought we hung out all the time. Now you have a new friend who has sex with you? Come on.

Don't you usually play with Milhouse after school? He has a girlfriend. Milhouse? Yeah. All they do is kiss. How cute. They don't open their mouths, all they do is kiss. How cute. They don't open their mouths, do they? No.

How cute. I really like that line. It is really cute. Though something just feels off to me. Milhouse even being slightly happy just isn't right for his character. Or sexually appealing. Yeah. Having any...

Straight even? sexually appealing yeah yeah having any because straight even he will later be known for just his sad pining over lisa even into flash forwards he's still just like go in love with her even though she's like yeah we had we had sex once millhouse like let's let's drop it or or him say or her in the car with him saying like i don't think I'll ever get married Millhouse doesn't count exactly the joke Millhouse doesn't count that's great nobody likes Millhouse nobody likes God damn it

what are Big Sisters for one of my avatars a few years ago when I purchased the third season of The Simpsons on Amazon which you can do digitally

and for no other seasons after that one through three and then 21 on that's everything else is that with commentaries with extras no no I just wanted it on my devices and it just seemed like I don't have my DVDs with me.

20 bucks, fine. That's fair. Martin playing the lute. This smug, stupid look on his face. That was my avatar for a couple weeks. But Bart has to go downgrade to another friend in the face of Samantha. This is the first time anyone has ever sat next to me since I successfully lobbied to have the school day extended by 20 minutes.

Listen, Martin, right now I'm looking for a friend who won't leave me for a girl. That's me. I'm just as unpopular with the ladies as I am with the chaps. Yeah, right. Anyway, do you want to do something after school? It's a date. Everyone, Martin and I would like to announce that we are friends. Martin's really trading down.

What a downgrade. But I was Martin, like I was. I was the kid sitting alone on the school bus. Did you have a lute or a lyre? No, I didn't have either of those things. But I definitely, I mean, they're kind of going with like, oh, Martin's gay also. He's a gay

kid who doesn't realize it. You can sing My Body Lies Over the Ocean, not be gay. He's the queen of summer. No, him singing the song with his lute is too like, come home my body warrior. That is a song a woman sings to a man.

And Bart is running away out the window. And him announcing that they're friends is just like, we're friends. Him celebrating a friendship with another boy is just like, I can see them trying to say that. But so Bart is going to be a third wheel on their date to Space Mutants. And I noticed some Space Mutants continuity. So they're seeing Space Mutants 7,

where I guess the Space Mutants can transform into humans. It started with 4. Yes, so 4 was in Principal Charming and the Telltale Head. So there were two 4s. 4 in the Telltale Head was called The Trilogy Continues, which is a parody of Friday the 13th. And the one that Principal Skinner and Patty see is Down Under, where it's probably just a wallaby.

And then 6 was in Colonel Homer, which is the one that Lisa and Bart see is Down Under where it's probably just a wallaby. And then six was in Colonel Homer which is the one that Lisa and Bart see. So we're at seven now. Yeah. It has to be the end of the Space Mutants.

It could be the last one that we actually see footage of. I'm pretty sure it is. The titles of those movies I could only catch like Run Reverend Run. Oh, I got them all here. Oh, please, Bobby.

So Tumbleweeds Ahoy, Rip, Roar, and Reverend, Sing, Monkey, Sing, of course, Space Mutants 7 and Hot Grits of flying hot grits of flying i don't know what that could possibly be because that clearly wasn't made in the decade uh that the show aired in so yeah i love the continuity of both carl yastrzemski and space mutants they're bringing that into the uh into the series like they realize this is part seven where they can transform i guess into, into humans. That's so great. Because then at that point it's revealed that Milhouse would rather hang out with Samantha.

But in a total dick move, it was like, yeah, can we still use your treehouse to fuck in? I just watched that movie The Apartment, which is just all about Jack Lemmon having his apartment used as a fuck den by the upper brass of his company. Go ahead. The last time we're going to see the Space Mutants is going to be Homer's triple bypass.

It's the last time. According to the Wikia. I wonder if it's part eight. Oh, the Wikia. But yeah, though also the Homer, I

liked Homer looking memory, the memories like they paid for a memory song. It's such a great because saying goodbye to his belly. Him in a Shriner spray with his belly painted wearing a giant hat. I's such a great... He's saying goodbye to his belly. Him in a Shriner spray

with his belly painted wearing a giant hat. I've never seen that in real life. I've only seen it on TV. America's Funniest Home Videos. It fucking rocked every year. Yeah, okay. I had seen that.

And then, though also, on the cassette, it says it's a vocabulary builder. So, Homer really should have read the cassette. It should have been

a subliminal test to learn how to read. We missed it, but when he finds out about the Good Morning Burger, the beer falls off his stomach, and it hits the ground with a sizzle, the carbonation on the carpet again. It's again gratefully. I like the touch of it goes back, and Lisa's worried about her dad.

Wait, and she turns around, and he's just breathing heavily in a way that only a fat dad can do. That's right. We missed the flash forward to the funeral. I wish they never invented fried cheese. I'm re-watching The Sopranos and to not forecast James Gandolfini's early death. His breathing is some of the loudest things in the show. Sitting is tiring for him.

But he was perfect. He was so perfect overall. I just wish when Sopranos was over, like, okay, now lose 80 pounds. Please, yes. Maybe don't die while eating in italy i love jane i also bart's little tears over when he's like fine i don't need you guys like that was actually kind of affecting i like that and they talk on the commentary it was the commentary is a rare one when nancy cartwright on oh yeah that's good and uh that the writers are like oh we're so uh

we were worried that bart would seem like he was gay or that he was in love with millhouse and jealous that a girl was there and then nancy was right and nancy was like no he's just a 10 year old boy who doesn't get girls yeah she's totally lost a friend yeah it's weird that they were worried about maybe that's why they built martin and like no this is the gay kid. Bart is hetero. Martin's gay. Same type of flyover states. Do not call your Fox affiliate. But he can cox a plan to like call Sam's

dad and have him show up at the treehouse. And I just love this. Hello, Mr. Stanky. I have some shocking news about your daughter, Samantha. Who am I? Let's just say I'm a concerned prude with a lot of time on his hands. That's a great line. Almost every watchdog.

I think they're kind of spitting in the faces of the people who complain about the Simpsons, too. Like, yeah, this is you. Like, you have nothing better to do. I'm researching the stuff I hate! And so then, yeah, when Mr. Stanky, for his one scene, it's a pretty funny little scene of an overprotective dad. You're my little girl, and sometimes my imagination runs away with me. Just tell me what happened.

Well, Milhouse and I... That's enough! I'm putting you in an all-girls school. You're never going to see that boy again. Milhouse! Samantha! I love Mr. Snakey going, No!

And the crows flying out of the tree. It's a great shot. Which isn't a reference to a specific thing. No, I think it was like Brad Bird invented it. Yeah, and now it's in every comic book movie. We just saw it in Suicide Squad. One of the reasons I wanted to do an Olympic show is to talk, and that's why I'm, again, plugging it,

because I was just watching Animal Olympicslympics a really dumb lost animated movie about the olympics starring animals and it's like one of brad bird's first gigs oh you're right yeah sorry i just want to plug it plug that episode again because i have a feeling no one's going to want to listen to our olympics episode so uh well so when millhouse is so sad over over losing sam it, I think, is the last Ralph is smart scene. I was just going to say this, Henry. It's the last appearance of pithy Ralph, like with the very incisive thing to say. Yeah, I should have gone with that.

Oh, you know what? No. But what man can tame her? I think Bubblegum Walk very Wrigley. That's going to be in Lisa Beauty Queen. So we still have some remnants of kind of smart Ralph. But this line is, it's recess everywhere, but it's hard. Yeah. I think once Ralph is the lead in the choo-choo-choose me, that's when it's like, oh, yeah. He's locked into being stupid.

Ralph is the dumb joke machine. He's the non-sequitur machine at that point. I wanted to mention this because we keep talking about it, but it seems to me there's a ton of, I don't know thematic reference to three men in a comic book one of my favorite episodes yeah and up to and including the music when millhouse and bart fight which i love the elmer bernstein kind of take off west side story stuff it's great yeah and like uh this is a great scene millhouse bart i don't want you to see me cry oh come on this does not sound anything like millhouse you're right it's a lot yeah So you would think it's a different voice actor entirely.

I didn't want you to see me cry. Oh, come on. I've seen you cry a million times. You cry when you scrape your knee. You cry when they're out of chocolate milk. You cry when you're doing long division and you have a remainder left over. Well, I didn't want you to see me cry this time. Listen, Milhouse, I got a confession to make.

I'm the one who knocked on your kissing. What? Milhouse is out of bed and full of beans. Oh, it's a miracle. Okay, is that the first spoken line? He would not be named until the Halloween episode with the Krusty the Clown

Freddy Krueger parody. This is the very first appearance of Kirk Van Houten. Really? Never been seen before. They talk about it on the commentary that they didn't originally plan on Kirk looking exactly the same as Milhouse, which they'd already done with the mother. So they basically look like they're twins who married and had Milhouse. And I think the story we told on one of the earlier episodes is that Milhouse's mom, Luanne, was supposed to have kind of Milhouse's voice. Like, that's too cartoony.

But then Hank just did an impression of Pamela Hayden doing Milhouse. And that's Milhouse's dad's voice. Yeah, Hank is serious about that somewhere. He's like, it's just an impression of Milhouse. It's a lot like Prince of Old McVicar from Beavis and Butthead. Like, ooooh! But it's just for one line. But it's great

and we have like an entire Kirk episode coming out it's a door dignity and that they just see him fighting like yeah who cares they shut the door like very preciously we're just gonna let that slide

full of beans I've never heard it my mom had to explain to me too as saying. I've never heard it. My mom had to explain it to me, too, as a kid. I had never heard that saying before. It is a colloquialism. Is she Henry Beans or what we call Ecstasy? There's a very great UCB sketch where it's called Scientonomy, I think. Psychotonomy.

Psychotonomy. And the L. Ron Hubbard figure sues everybody because someone says, you're full of beans. It's like, I'm full of beans. Beans. You were all sued. All of you were sued. Psychotonomy is not full of beans. One of my favorite sketches.

Please look up psychotonomy. It's the best. That whole episode. Yeah. You're seven foot one. Vomits of food. Nutrition food. Oh, my God.

Just reading from L. Ron Hubbard. R. Ron Hubbard's book. Like, I have to get my nutrition. Johnny thought with his mind brain, I must get more nutrition food. Yes, reading that was the torture they put people through to break them down. I'm sweating. Did you notice that in Milhouse's room he has a Spinal Tap poster? Yes, more continuity.

More Season 3 continuity. And it was a cute little joke of Bart reaching for every thing that would kill Milhouse and then just grabbing the 8-ball. I bet the 8-ball didn't see that one coming. It was a good line. It's a good see that one coming. It's pretty dope. And I mean, it has a nice cheesy end.

I don't get the French-Canadian stuff totally. Ah, I do. Well, let's hear the clip. Hey, Samantha. I'm sorry about getting you thrown in the penguin house. That's all right, Bart. I love St. Sebastian's. It's run by a group of French-Canadian nuns.

They're very nice, except they never let me out. Samantha, nip on the boys. I have to go now, Milhouse. Better not. It's 50 rosaries a kiss. Okay. What the heck? It's St. Sebastian's School for Wicked Girls.

I didn't get the joke about Canadian accents as a kid either. Never let me... Is there someone significance to that? I want to step in and say something. They get this right and people like Kevin Smith base entire movies

around jokes like these but they get it wrong. So it's not oot or a boot. It's oat. And she says oat. And it's not a boot. It's a boat. A boat.

But you'll see entire movies like Yoga Hosers where the entire joke is like we screwed up the Canadian accent. Whoops. I mean, that's your entire thing. Get it right, pleasepsons did kevin smith man yeah tusk is fun what if my daughter was a star of a movie it would go something like this i'm a bit tired of that but then again he did he directed the episode he directed of the flash tv series last year was

uh last season was pretty good really he should only do that and he'll be direct and he'll be you don't have to see it? Yes. He'll be directing another one next year and an episode of Supergirl. So, you know, Vladimir and his bones that way. Yeah, so the singing nun is a reference to, in the 60s,

well, there was a real-life singing nun who had become somewhat of a celebrity in the first half of the 1900s. And she then went on to get her film made about her, though I believe it was a Belgian nun, not a French-Canadian one, who was the singing nun who goes on adventures with kids. What? And it's a kid's film. And the singing nun is played by Debbie Reynolds.

What? Yep. And I think there's a bit of the flying nun in here as well, where it was originally like, she's going to go to a Catholic school, all the nuns are mean, but James L. Brooks was like, what if it was fun, like the flying nun? And we see the flying nun to get destroyed next year on Brother

from Another Planet. Yeah, Brother from Another Planet. I love that episode. This isn't funny! That also is when they're getting very mean on the show. Exactly, yes. Killing the flying nuns. And I did like the wrap-up to the Homer bit,

that one, that Lisa's the only one who can understand him because she knows all those words too. Yeah, that Bart needed advice but can't understand Homer for once. I don't know what the hell he's saying. And then Homer is getting fatter, just because he's still eating the same, but he just says it better. And then once he gets rid of the tape,

then he becomes basically nonverbal and still eats all the time. He gets stupider. He can't think of the word for spoon. Like, what's the dig thingy where you, and then he, like, mimes it. You mean a spoon? And the Homer says bit at the end is funny.

I like that. That was awesome. I love that. But it disappears so fast. I don't think they had faith in the joke to keep it up for an extra five seconds. It's funny in that it's like Homer's definitions of these fancy words, like boudoir, where a French guy does it, things like that.

Yeah, I get it. It's a precursor to the Ned Flanders short that we'll get later. I do like Bart's line, now let's go whip donuts at old people. It all looked the same to me. Now let's go whip donuts at old people. Y'all look the same to me. Now let's go whip donuts at old people. It was a good loose episode. Yeah, we're feeling those late season blues in terms of like let's just get to the end. It doesn't have to make perfect sense as long as it's punchy and funny.

I mean the next episode is just like loose as all hell with an ending that basically requires magic. Yes. And an invention that requires magic. We'll get to that soon. That's what I mean. Yes. So that was Talking Simpsons, folks. I've been an invention that requires magic. We'll get to that soon. That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah. So that was Talking Simpsons, folks. I've been your host, Bob Mack.

You can find me on Twitter as BobServo. My writing is at SomethingAwful.com and USGamer.net and I also do the Classic Gaming Podcast Retronauts every Monday. Find it on USGamer.net or Retronauts.com or search for Retronauts in your podcast machine. Every week is a new Classic Gaming topic. All these folks have been on it and you'll like it a lot, I think, if you like to hear my voice. And I assume you do.

Chris, where can we find you? Usually, lasertimepodcast.com. That's where the Laser Time Show lives. It's kind of, it's a lot of the same people are on that show.

We usually pick a topic, we do a little bit of research and infuse it with the same sound clips and chicanery that you might like in this show. But I also would really like

to plug 302010. Yeah. You can check that out on lasertimepodcast.com or wondery.com slash 30 2010 um it's uh what is it a weekly look back into that window of the week 30 years ago 10 20 years ago and 10 years ago to that specific week and it creates a very interesting conversation when you have to shift from like all right now we talk about the fly now we talk about the Tales from the Crypt movie, and then why don't we wrap up with some snakes on a plane?

Dennis Miller's only leading role, I think. Bark down a little blood, baby. Yeah, it's a great... If you like the nostalgia of this, you'll like the nostalgia of that. So hopefully, when you piece everything together like that, you can sometimes place where you were, exactly where you were. Oh, yeah, that can sometimes place where you were. Yeah. Exactly where you were.

Oh, yeah. That's for sure. Especially 10 years ago. It's not that easy. But I'm H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on Twitter. And you can find me, my writing, at fandom.wikia.com. That's my day job. And you should see all that stuff.

I tweet it out, too. But if you really enjoy this, you should know it was brought to you, Talking Simpsons, by Patreon.com slash LazerTime. $5 a month or more will get you access to the first season of Talking Simpsons, along with a ton of other great bonuses, including bonus time, the extra weekly podcast that you all do. And it is what pays for this to happen. You were on recently, and I got to tell a tale of local murder. Murder. Murder. And I got to talk all about going to Las Vegas for five whole days.

It was a fun time. Immersed in Star Trek. Yeah, but so go patreon.com slash lazytime. If you become a $5 or more subscriber, you will get access to that season. Just go back through the most recent posts. Until you see Black Smithers, that's where you'll find all the episodes. 14 delicious episodes for your listening pleasure. That's been all for us this week, folks.

We'll be back next week with the end of Season 3 and the return of Herb Powell. We'll see you then. wow infotainment