Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Black Widower

Episode Date: August 10, 2016

Sideshow Bob returns for the first time ever, and he just wants to move on and start a new life with Selma. Or DOES HE?!?! Find out in this podcast…...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 today's talking Simpsons is brought to you by bombas premium socks talking Simpsons listeners can go to get bombas calm slash laser timing get 20% off your first order ahoy hoy everybody and welcome to talking simpsons the official fan club of suck up the vacuum and this is the laser time podcast network's official chronological exploration of the simpsons i am your host sideshow bob mackie who else is here with me today christopher antista uh the biggest cat in the whole wide world henry gilbert and today's episode is black widower and it aired every time i hear the word macGyver, I just do that.
Starting point is 00:01:06 You hear Hank Azaria saying, Today's episode is Black Widower, which aired on April 9th, 1992. Chris, what happened on this mythical day in Simpsons history? Oh my God! It looks as if Arthur Ashe reveals he has AIDS. Sam Kinison is killed in a car accident. And Bill Clinton has won the New York primary. But setting records, Silence of the Lambs won Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress,
Starting point is 00:01:33 Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay as it sweeps the 64th Academy Awards. Wow. I ran this by Diana and she says, yes, only two other films have achieved this height at the Oscars. It's kind of interesting. One flew over the cuckoo's nest and it happened one night. I feel like feel-good movies were dominating the Oscars until fairly recently. Like Citizen Kane lost to The Greatest Year or How Green Was My Valley or something like that.
Starting point is 00:01:58 But it was a turning point for the Oscars. Yeah, this is a mean psychod psycho drama of like oh maybe maybe murderers are okay if they're killing other murderers what if they're charismatic you should have a 30 2010 about the original hannibal lecter movie coming up very soon 30 years ago uh it's manhunter adapted from red dragon and like the world didn't know what that was didn't care for it when it came out and almost 10 years later cared cared a lot for Brian Cox. Oh, man. He was pretty good.
Starting point is 00:02:29 You mean Scrubsy? Yeah. Actually, there's this great fan edit I saw online of, because Red Dragon has been adapted three times, so they took the same scene from Manhunter, Red the book and hannibal and showed like how each of these guys played hannibal lecter in this specific scene and it shows you their differences it's really cool just say hannibal is so good so good i can't believe it was canceled it seemed to be on the uh like i can't believe it was ever on the air yeah if you see the kind of stuff they pulled on nbc no no that's right how many bodies did you sew together grotesquely in prime
Starting point is 00:03:05 time on nbc jesus christ and then meanwhile sam kinnison's passing that reminds me of uh i can't remember his name but it was sam kinnison's best buddy who was on the mark uh the mark maron podcast who's who's then like his his daughter turned out to actually be sam kinnison's daughter instead and uh he tells the story of being with Sam when he died. It's horrible. Because he was a wreck, kind of a whirlwind of a person, and had just sobered up and was hit
Starting point is 00:03:33 by a drunk driver. It was not his fault. God. Fate was taking him out. Crazy. Something like that. Speaking of death! I do want to mention Black Widower is also the name of a Sons of Anarchy episode, which caused some confusion when I was doing research. And it's weird because there's a Simpsons episode named I'm With Cupid and a King of
Starting point is 00:03:50 the Hill episode named I'm With Cupid. They're like one year apart. I'm like, you were both on Fox. Can't you at least like figure this out on your own? Well, so this episode has a co-story written credit by Thomas Chastain. Yes. Who was a member of the American Mystery Society because they wanted to make this an
Starting point is 00:04:11 actual mystery. They wanted to make this a mystery episode. I think they ran the mechanics of the mystery past him. He died in 1994. I really want to read some of his books. I've gotten into mysteries lately. It's interesting. In hindsight, watching this episode where you know where it's going, and there's a couple scenes where you're like why didn't the simpsons make a joke here yeah and it's because it's exposition that'll pay off later to the
Starting point is 00:04:32 mystery i mean this is practice for the who shot mr burns like that is a mystery that much better everything works as a joke and as a and as a clue that they wanted to win the Edgar Award for Mystery Writing, which is a yearly thing that gives... It's a yearly award named after Edgar Allan Poe, who wrote the first detective story, The Murders in the Rue Morgue. And they really...
Starting point is 00:04:56 The monkey did it. It's just spoiler. So they wanted to win the award. The monkey with the razor blade. They wanted to win the Edgar Award for television writing, and they did not win it and then mike reese jokes that if they saw how crappy and cheap the award looked beforehand
Starting point is 00:05:11 they would have realized they didn't want it he said it looked like it should have been filled with bubble bath exactly but the episode opens with oh my god i completely forgot this such a time capsule would you turn off that rock and rock music? Hey, you don't have a stegosaurus, man. These talking dinosaurs are more real than most real families on TV. Look, Maggie, you have a baby too. It's like they saw our lives and put it right up on screen. Now, yeah, we both said now at the same time.
Starting point is 00:05:45 I have some qualms about this. No, me too. Mommy, I'm home. Just wanted to put on the dinosaurs theme to set the mood. Yeah, Dinosaurs, the Jim Henson Productions ABC sitcom, Dinosaurs, was a popular show, but a brief flash of popularity right around when The Simpsons came out. A year after The Simpsons. It was definitely in the shadow of The Simpsons. But when you watch it,
Starting point is 00:06:11 it's Muppets, Al, and the family. They even got Sally Struthers to play the same character. It is actually more absurd than The Simpsons. I think it's more deeply satirical because there are issue episodes. I remember my parents laughing conspicuously at the marijuana episode, which gave me a lot of insight into my parents' previous lives. I was just going to mention the drug episode.
Starting point is 00:06:30 It was all on Netflix, and there's an episode where the baby grows a horn and becomes a god. Yeah. A more scathing addressing of religion than The Simpsons had ever done at that point. I do remember the grandmother had a, what's that called, a death experience? Yeah, she was supposed to die. She was supposed to die. She was taken to the tar pits to die.
Starting point is 00:06:51 And a preacher was then selling like tracts of land in heaven based on her near death experience. The show, it's very odd, but it doesn't, it does hold up well just because of how weird it looks. Well, even during
Starting point is 00:07:03 Operation Desert Storm when nobody was mocking it on TV, they made a two-parter about what a pointless, made-up war it was to distract people from things. And war stood for we are rights, which is like, that is the most liberal message you could put on the show in that era. Because here's the reality behind it.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Dinosaurs looked a lot like the ripoff of The Simpsons because The Simpsons are what got it on the air. Exactly. Jim Henson had tried to get the show on the air before, his idea being a family who is toxic to its own environment. Jim Henson, reputed hippie. And that was the basis for the show, and no one really wanted to do it until, like, what was that Jim Henson idea? Where the family hates one another and they're all dysfunctional. Now The Simpsons is popular. Let's put it on the air and and dinosaurs was popular
Starting point is 00:07:48 yeah uh it was just incredibly expensive and you can go back and look at it now i'm like yeah how the fuck did they do this 20 times a year it was over it was like not popular yeah well they moved the time slot around so much yeah it moved the time slot around but i also think people like got sick of the baby like It was urkelizing the baby too. It was the voice of Elmo. The baby had its own song, I think. Its own single. I have that baby. It's all right up there. Did you take a picture of it and tweet it
Starting point is 00:08:13 recently? I took a picture of Charlene and tweeted that. Chris Dantes has a Charlene Happy Meal toy or something. It is the worst toy. Did you use it? No. It has an air pressure gauge. It is the worst toy in the universe what is its action you push a thing in the back which moves air through a hose creating a hydraulic system that moves a phone a half an inch closer to her face that's our charlene yeah she loves the
Starting point is 00:08:36 phone okay but so the simpsons felt that they were being ripped off from like it felt like a lot from mike reese too because he's the guy who also on other ones is just like uh they canceled uh the critic for king of the hill and and hank hill is just uh homer wearing glasses which he isn't yeah i don't get that commentary at all if i've ever met him in public i'd ask him he's very awkward he does seem slightly defensive on those things in the same deal here he says like it's the same show. Like, no, like the Bart guy, the Bart character they make is Bart.
Starting point is 00:09:08 On the show, he's a teenager. He's not Bart. He has teen problems. He's competent, smart, and an overachiever as the daughter is a little ditzy.
Starting point is 00:09:17 So not like Lisa. The only comparison they have even slightly is the Marge and Homer characters. Yeah. And they're both like Earl and the character who's played by
Starting point is 00:09:24 Lucille Bluth. Jessica Walter. I don't think The Simpsons will be daring enough to kill every character on the last episode like Dinosaurs did.
Starting point is 00:09:32 Dinosaurs really shut itself out from like a streaming revolution where it could be brought back. So which Patreon tier is the dinosaurs? Talking dinosaurs. That's only like 15.
Starting point is 00:09:41 My buddy showed me in Orlando in Disney World when the lights go out just a certain way and one of the facades is still like baby, the baby dinosaur. Really? In Hollywood Studios, it still has a little piece there to remember dinosaurs by. Okay, so after the dinosaurs joke. I want to talk more about dinosaurs.
Starting point is 00:09:59 Those are 10 minute dinosaurs. But unlike a lot of episodes of The Simpsons, that's the only non-storyline joke that happens, and it's over in less than a minute. So did you notice? It immediately happened. This immediately happens. Now, kids, I know you're all excited about meeting Aunt Selma's new boyfriend tonight, but I think that before he gets here, I should tell you something about him.
Starting point is 00:10:19 You see, Aunt Selma has this crazy obsession about not dying alone. So in desperation, she joined this prison pen pal program. Her new sweetie's a jailbird. Cool! He can teach us how to kill a man with a lunch tray! Now, now, he's an ex-convict. He's paid his debt to society. And how come you're not using the good silverware? I'm just not.
Starting point is 00:10:43 So, did you notice in that section, too, they have a three dream bubble things again. Yes. Third episode in a row. Well, not third in a row that they've done it. They did it in Homer at the Bat. They did it in the one with the separate vocations when they took
Starting point is 00:11:00 the test. And Wonderbat as well? Yeah. So, this is the third time. There's another third time in this episode, too. We'll get to soon. But'll get too soon but yeah and then so i was definitely as a kid shocked when it was sideshow bob i did not think i was just gonna ask that because i don't remember if that was the promos and i saw it coming i'm sure it was in the commercials but i didn't see the commercials and just remember at this point it wasn't a tradition for sideshow bob to come back this was his second well it's like fourth appearance, but his second voice. As Kelsey Grammer.
Starting point is 00:11:29 And here's a little clip of that. Everyone, I'd like you to meet... Sideshow Bob! What the... Selma, dear, I'm afraid the children's reaction is quite understandable. You see, Bart here is the shameless and short pants who sent me to prison. That's right, Aunt Selma. Your new boyfriend here framed Krusty the Clown for armed robbery.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Gee, if some snot-nosed little kid sent me to prison, the first thing out I'd find out where he lives and tear him a new belly button. Ah, Mr. Simpson, you're forgetting the first two noble truths of the Buddha. I am not. Yes, you are. One, existence is suffering. Two, the cause of suffering is desire. In this case, my desire
Starting point is 00:12:10 to do high-quality children's programming. And that's... The voice is beautiful. Yeah, I love Kelsey. I don't know. I never thought I'd love Kelsey Grammer again because I hated Frasier so much. And I don't anymore, by the way.
Starting point is 00:12:23 I've come around on it. He seems like kind of a turn in real life yeah speaking of the return of Bob I noticed a lot of these late season three episodes they're really calling back to their own continuity
Starting point is 00:12:30 we've seen a lot of previous references what I was going to point out this is this is one of I would say a dozen a dozen points of continuity the Simpsons ever kept for the first
Starting point is 00:12:39 10 years that's right yeah and it's it's the biggest it's the only thing that shows you that time even moves on and there's a sequence of the episodes the simpsons for the most part other than like burns his head gift and uh yeah with every bob episode that they do recap every last instance right yeah and that's he did that he did that and that's what makes this weird because up until this
Starting point is 00:12:56 point but i forget that bob's crime was relatively meager it is understandable that he could get out of jail in two years because it was armed robbery just armed robbery just armed robbery no bart is still 10 like he doesn't he's not 12 when he gets out but you kind of have to just fudge those things and uh so when he's telling his story like when it gets to the emmy that's how you know the simpsons had won an emmy in the here in between so they had a lot of emmy jokes like i was surprised they just kept it an Emmy. It was just not even like a parody of the Emmys. I love that whole sequence. I only clipped this ten seconds from his description of the courtship of
Starting point is 00:13:32 Selma. Dear Selma, your latest letter set off a riot in the maximum security wing of my heart. Okay. That clip, Chris, that's one of three instances of women sinking into a tub in ecstasy. One is Marjorie Rancho-Relaxo. The other one is Edna reading Woodrow's letter. This is the third one in a row.
Starting point is 00:13:55 It sounds like that's the extent of what the Simpsons writers know about women. When a woman reads a letter, she's so turned on she can't keep her head above water. But seriously, women do masturbate in bathtubs. saying i think especially 30 years that's what jets are for uh and also there was a couple of one-off jokes in there the 24601 joke that is the number of jean valjean and les miserables and uh which it's this he sings it in the musical so i i'm not so well read i have not read the book. I just know that for the music. I just know the number. It's like the CalArts number.
Starting point is 00:14:27 Two, four, six, oh, one. It's like Homer before the voice change. And also, Kelsey Grammer, four years before this episode aired, spent 30 days in jail for a DUI cocaine possession in 1988. Yeah, there's a lot of wrecked cars behind Kelsey Grammer. He has real substance abuse issues. I didn't even know about that. He fell off a stage once on Disney World. It's one of the greatest videos on the internet.
Starting point is 00:14:54 Was he on coke or just like... He was a UN interpreter. Oh, good lord. And also he has a one-off joke that he says, a lifetime conservative Republican, which is also what I believe Kelsey Grammer's real life politics is. Yeah, he is very conservative. And though clearly he can tell, he's fine with joking around with the Simpsons who are
Starting point is 00:15:14 mostly liberal dudes. And it would then come to fruition in season six with Sideshow Bob Roberts. That makes perfect sense. Yeah. Yes. We see the same thing about the crowded prisons, the revolving door system. But in the meantime, he does propose to Selma. Like, the second after there, he introduces a couple.
Starting point is 00:15:34 If I did something bold and shocking in front of your family. All right, but no tongues. Although kissing you would be like kissing some divine ashtray. That's not what I had in mind. Selma, will you marry me? Don't be a fool, Selma. That man is scum. Then call me Mrs. Scum.
Starting point is 00:15:53 There are a lot of great Bob jokes that I feel are signaling to the audience like he hates Selma. It doesn't happen as early as you think, though. Yeah, I mean, he mentions later like God made 168 pounds of women a woman for me and then well he said 41 years ago right god made 168 pounds of clay and made it to a woman so
Starting point is 00:16:12 says her age and her weight the two things you should never do especially on her special day during his wedding speech yeah now there's also that line there's there's a controversy uh in this the right word for the writers in this episode Where Snake is in this This is like his fourth appearance by this point But it's where he is named Snake Snake I'll miss you most of all I'll miss you most of all Snake
Starting point is 00:16:35 But that was He had always been Jailbird in the scripts And he would still be Jailbird in the scripts And some of the OG Simpsons writers Were like he's not Snake He's Jailbird We did not write that line to be said be Jailbird in the scripts. And some of the OG Simpsons writers were like, he's not Snake, he's Jailbird. We did not write that line to be said to Jailbird and call him Snake. I feel like the animators were just pulling models out of a pack.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Like, yeah, he'll work. So then in season 17, they finally reconcile this by making his official name Snake Jailbird. Thank God they sealed that hole. It does lead me to a very weird scene. I love Krusty and I love that Krusty is a proxy for every
Starting point is 00:17:11 entertainment figure just because he's the only one in Springfield who's not Ken Brockman. And so now he's Jerry Lewis which I don't think he's been before but he's hosting a telethon. We now return to the 27th annual Krusty the Clown telethon for motion sickness.
Starting point is 00:17:26 Tiffany! Woohoo! I love you people! I love my kids! Poor little guys. So tragic. So nauseous. You should see the bus they came to the studio in.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Just wanted to point, I never heard the word timpani until came to the studio in. Just wanted to point, I never heard the word timpani until I got the sound effect. So this perfectly echoes the relationship between Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin, where Krusty is the silly one and Sideshow Bob is the more serious one who wants to do serious things with his life. But that's what's... Ladies and gentlemen, the chairman. The chairman of the board, you know who I'm talking about. And he is Frank Sinatra.
Starting point is 00:18:11 He is Frank Sinatra. He's just never called Frank Sinatra. Bubla, Krustaloop. I think it's a parody of Chairman of the Board. I forget what they say, like the... No, they don't say, this is Frank Sinatra. Or whatever. Yeah, they never...
Starting point is 00:18:21 He says, the chairman of the board, you know who I'm talking about. Come out here, you old goomba. Yeah, and I just can't tell. I don't know. The Simpsons doesn't do those kind of parodies usually of a direct character. But even though it's like he's the chairman of the board. But it has to be Frank because it's Frank who does introduce Dean. Who does reunite them.
Starting point is 00:18:37 So, yeah, I got the dates on this this time. Oh, cool, cool. So, you know, Martin and Lewis had been a comedy team. They were famous separate from each other in the 50s while Dean before the 50s. Like a stage level. Yeah, but they then became a comedy duo of just the straight man and the goofball. I do the singing. I do the comedy!
Starting point is 00:18:58 But Dean... Hey, what you doing over there? What you doing over there? Eventually, they couldn't exist together. Like, they were two famous guys. Egos, blah-biddy-blah. What are you doing over there? Eventually, they couldn't exist together. They were two famous guys. Egos, blah, blah, blah. I think it was really Lewis got all the attention because he was just a fucking Jim Carrey of his day.
Starting point is 00:19:10 Well, more than Jim Carrey. There is a documentary about Jerry Lewis that is fascinating because we know him as this embarrassing clown, a Jim Carrey-esque, over-the-top person. And when you see these movies from the 1960s, he's the only one who doesn't... Like, holy shit, no one else can do that. And not only that, unlike Jim Carrey, Lewis immediately used his stardom to become a director, to create his own studio, and to control his own projects.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Control everything. You don't hear about him today other than the day the clown cried, which the whole public can't wrap their head around. Like, why did one person who starred in a movie make it unseeable? It's funny. Tom Cruise doesn't have that power. Growing up in the 80s, the Jerry Lewis that I knew was the very self-serious one that was parodied on Animaniacs as Mr. Director. Like, super, super serious guy. But that is who he was.
Starting point is 00:19:56 But he seized control of his career. I don't know if there's been someone more powerful who's made more money in the entertainment business than Jerry Lewis. And still alive, crossing fingers he hasn't died before he was on the simpsons as frank's father everybody parodied in this scene dean martin was dead before i was born uh frank sinatra dead in 1989 jerry lewis like it was like 90s it would have been like 92 or something like that maybe 95 but like jerry lew is still fucking alive and doing public appearances. Okay, so they broke up in 1956. And then Jerry Lewis started doing his muscular dystrophy telethon, which he, I think, only recently quit. Quit hosting.
Starting point is 00:20:41 Even into his 70s, he would be there the whole time. The whole time, because he did love those kids so much, and he would do it every Labor Day. September 5th, 1976, he is surprised on air. 20 years after they'd broken up, Dean Martin comes out, and they're like, we're back together. And they just goof around and joke, but Dean is already not liking it. He's like, you're overshadowing me already i hate this but that moment was so big to children of the 70s that they've remade it so many times on the sims they referenced it before this episode too and i forget which one
Starting point is 00:21:16 it was maybe bart the daredevil it happened on or something like that so yeah i forget what the context was though uh no it was on uh like father like clown too oh yeah you're right they always they did it through crusty and again people we're not the old people we barely barely remember this too this is through research we're the children of the old people yeah so them getting back together was great though i guess it was all fake like he definitely still hated crusty and then it's like This guy is a national treasure. That jerk I got to replace you, he isn't fit to hold your slide whistle. All I can be is myself.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Krusty, can you ever forgive me for framing you and putting you in jail? Hey, if they ever open the books on this telethon, I'm right back in there. So that's the first spoken line from Sideshow Mel. Before we heard him sing, sing, sing. But that was so great. I love Sideshow Mel. All I him sing, sing, sing. But that was so great. I love Sideshow Mel. All I can be is myself. He looks like a Flintstones character.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Also, a little before this, the song they're doing karaoke, one, you can see every time Bob comes back, they get him to sing more. They just love him singing. It's good. He's good at it. Yeah, and the song they are duetting is Something Stupid, which was made famous by Frank Sinatra singing that with his daughter, Nancy, in 1967 in a hit song, which is kind of gross. That is gross. Yeah, it's a bit strange. But anyway, that documentary, The Wrecking Crew, is great just because, like, Frank Sinatra.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Nancy Sinatra tells a story like, yeah, Frank wanted the song, Boots Are Made For Walking. One of these days, these boots are going to. And Nancy Sinatra's like, that's not a man's song, you asshole. You can't sing that, Frank. You can't sing about stomping on a woman. I'll sing whatever I want, baby. I'll do whatever I want, baby. I'm platinum. Shut up.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Shut up, fraud. How do you call that? I could probably make a Frank Sinatra character and everybody in the world would believe it's unique because nobody remembers him the biggest celebrity in the universe I do have like two lines
Starting point is 00:23:14 my favorite lines of the show occur in one of the next sequences and that's during the wedding planning I'm giving it as a tie to both Homer and Selma. That's the joke. You're drinking cocktail sauce, right? And what would you like for appetizers?
Starting point is 00:23:32 Ooh, appetizers. Well, Homer, you seem to be a trencherman. What should we serve? Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They taste as good as they look, and they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup. It tastes like ketchup.
Starting point is 00:23:47 But, brother, it ain't ketchup. Oh, man. Well, Selma, he makes a good case. Eh, get whatever you want. It all tastes like styrofoam to me. Selma, dear, I'm confused. Well, when I was a kid, we were playing with bottle rockets, and one shot straight up my nose.
Starting point is 00:24:04 I permanently lost my sense of taste and smell. Okay, we've got cocktail weenies and Swedish meatballs. One, I never realized how white trash the dish is going to be for their wedding. And two, that is, I don't want to call it clumsy, but there's a joke in everything in The Simpsons. This is establishing a mystery plot point. It has to say the line mystery that selma can't smell i'm not going to ruin the i don't i don't want to ruin the mystery for people so i didn't capture any of that stuff whenever i get cocktail sauce i always think of that line yeah it ain't ketchup
Starting point is 00:24:36 i love that homer loves the tacky food served at like middle class weddings yeah and also i did look it up trencherman is a hearty eater. Defined as a hearty eater by the Webster. Wow, so it's like a fancy insult. Yeah. We also learned that Selma is a virgin. No, she's not. Really? No, that's the joke. She's saying, so, I don't know how to say this.
Starting point is 00:24:58 And she's like, white. White. Okay, I'll just... She's saying, we're gonna have it white. Don't tell me I can't have it white. I assume that she's a virgin based on the cut scene that happens at the end of the episode that was never aired. I swear, it's from another show. I feel like there was a joke. If the show was being made today, I was expecting a joke about breaking her hymen on a carnival ride.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Oh, Jesus. I think it's from another show. My take on it, Henry, though, was that she was ashamed of being a virgin, so she just wanted to clear the air. No, it's white. I can't imagine anyone fucking selling that up to this point. No, no, no. That is an old 80s joke, by the way. Yeah, no, I think it's, knowing old comedy, the joke is, well, you shouldn't wear white because you're not a virgin.
Starting point is 00:25:37 You're not a virgin. And they're like, I'm going to wear white. I was thinking of the critic joke, white except for the gloves. I love that joke. That is the dirtiest joke in that whole show. It is, yeah. But it also, canonically, she is definitely not a virgin because in the way we was, they say
Starting point is 00:25:51 these are the dates Marge gets because she doesn't put out, implying that both Patty and some were putting out, though. Patty was putting out for some, for a political reason. But also, I swear to God, my other line of the show, Jesus. That's the joke.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Selma, this wedding is spinning out of control. Can we really afford it? I've already run through eight of the ten dollars they gave me when I left prison. Hey, relax. I told you I got money. I bought stock in a mace company just before society crumbled. That's great. It perfectly plays into the cynicism of Patty and Selma.
Starting point is 00:26:26 I feel like these characters go really underused after this season. They are so often background characters in season three that I feel like they just went unused after this. They only popped up in episodes about them, really. The Simpsons will be right back. How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner and greener.
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Starting point is 00:28:23 Why not head to the website, poke around a bit, see if it it's right for you and we'll scamper on back to the show you like laser time shows then you might like bonus time laser times weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash laser time here's a taste of what you've been missing there was this journalism class. Lights were always low. And trying so hard to stay awake. And finally my head does the full-on, like, and I go back and smash the fuck out of the monitor behind me and send up a pigpen level of dust off of the monitor.
Starting point is 00:29:01 There's a domino effect of all the monitors. But the teacher turns around and it's like if he couldn't echolocate whose head hit the thing. All I had to do is turn around and look at like OK like everything's
Starting point is 00:29:12 normal. There's a huge cloud of dust around one guy with the halo around. Yes. And I was just like sorry. Get bonus time laser times
Starting point is 00:29:20 weekly full length uncensored and ad free Patreon exclusive podcast as well as weekly full-length movie commentaries wrestling and cartoon video commentaries physical rewards the first season of talking simpson and more at patreon.com slash laser time starting at just five bucks you'll help us live and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again And so this was the reveal of his last name is Terwilliger. Terwilliger, yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:53 There is some disagreement online about where it's from. There's no one source. But it is the name of a Portland street, so I'm going with that one. Yeah, like half the characters in The Simpsons. Landers, Quimby. Kearney. Yeah. If it's not the name of a Matt Groening family member, then it's a name of a Portland street
Starting point is 00:30:14 because he grew up in Portland. And yeah, so I'm going with that. So the MacGyver thing was great meta commentary because the episode becomes MacGyver at the end. A little bit, yeah. Give some of that honey this way. Holy free holies! We've got ten minutes to MacGyver. Driver, here's a fin.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Get me home and don't spare the whip. Whatever you say, Mom. Of course I'm going to get a Barney burping clip. MacGyver. It's hard would be over in a couple months. In a couple, because as a kid, though, it went for like seven or eight seasons. So by the time I was aware there was live action television, MacGyver was on throughout my entire, let's call it, pop culture woke period. This is April 92. It would be over in May 92 forever.
Starting point is 00:31:02 Really? Yes, I looked it up. I remember when that happened. It's coming back. It's that happened. It's coming back. It's a reboot. It's coming back. It was a little weird kid with long hair. I do love the MacGyver diversion.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Bob being so pissed off. Great David Silverman directed this episode. Great David Silverman poses. Yeah, and I just love this because, you know, you live with somebody. I've had a couple things with my lady that you just shut up about and endure because you know she does that for you. And you don't have this kind of argument. Thank you, Senor MacGyver. You've saved our village.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Don't thank me. Thank the moon's gravitational pull. That's the perfect MacGyver line. That MacGyver's a genius. First of all, he's not a genius. He's an actor. And second, he's not much of an actor you're lying you're lying no
Starting point is 00:31:48 Selma this is lying that was a well plotted piece of non-clap trap that never made me want to retch no just when I saw he was so mean I can't describe this to make it sound important but I just I did think MacGyver was a thing that was always on the air because that that's the way it had seemed to me.
Starting point is 00:32:07 And this joke would last forever. We're doing a show where I have to explain to people what MacGyver might be. This was pointed out in Homer Alone, I think, this element of their lives. And I think it just really reflects their ultimate mediocrity as people. Like, Patty and Selma are the most mediocre, boring people ever. And that's why they like MacGyver so much it was the most mediocre show on tv at the time but yeah that animation of grover by the way really great yeah but the way bob is animated just like
Starting point is 00:32:34 so restlessly sitting and just like moving well yeah he's doing that but when they're watching the end of it he's just like recrossing his arms moving again i love him just like glancing over at them like, are you serious? You're still watching this? You like this. I mean, it's hard to imagine a world without an internet connected phone. Hey, watch this thing you don't like for an hour with a lot of commercials. Okay.
Starting point is 00:32:56 Now, so knowing how it ends, knowing how the episode ends, do you think that he actually couldn't stand MacGyver and he was about to ruin his plan by getting by breaking up with her and MacGyver? Or was his plan already to not like MacGyver to then set up a reason to leave, which would later become his alibi? I don't know. And the only note I have on this is that I wasn't expecting a mer-diddly-erdler because this scene was so genuine. Like a genuine couples argument of someone, of Bob wanting to stay in love with
Starting point is 00:33:32 a person and make something work. Because like, other than a murder plot, this doesn't make sense. Yes, I agree, Chris. I love this episode. It's funny. I like the mystery. But Bob's motivation doesn't make any sense. Because I feel like killing Selma, Bart wouldn't care. Like, I think Marge or Homer would love it, actually.
Starting point is 00:33:50 Marge would be broken up, but why does Bob care about Marge's feelings? Like, I don't get why he wants to kill Selma outside of just him being a psychopath. No, this is about money. This one is for money. It's only after this does he become... Was it the stock that he wants, or what? It's just it's just this it's just this sequence we're a package love me love macgyver i guess the wedding's off
Starting point is 00:34:12 selma i don't know what to say just tell me you like macgyver very well i i i love this i can't do it even that car chase seemed tacked on. Oh, would you two knock it off? I hate all the programs Marge likes, but it's no big deal. You know why? No. Go on. Whenever Marge puts on one of her non-violent programs, I take a walk.
Starting point is 00:34:40 I go to a bar, I pound a few, then I stumble home in the mood for love. That's really dark. Basically, Homer offered advice to the murder plot. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to overanalyze it. You're right, Chris. Bob does leave while she watches MacGyver.
Starting point is 00:34:56 That was the plan. I mean, that is part of his plan, though. Maybe he just altered his plan to like, oh, okay, I'll just make this work within the But as a kid, no idea no idea anything is going to happen anything's different about the money motivation henry i do think they should have laid in more of that because i feel like even watching this the 40th time it was never clear like that was what he wanted you know but uh the i mean this is also the last time you could think bob had gotten better because yeah because every later time you're like well yeah you're crazy
Starting point is 00:35:25 and then that's why they could do the opposite of this in the side so settle episode which should have been the last bob episode they really should never i think it was meant to be the last bob episode and in that one it was the reverse of like no he did clean up his act and no one does believe yeah and it was a great twist that his brother spoiler was the actual psychopath can't wait for that episode but uh but anyway yeah the so they get married they do the wedding uh i like the bit with lisa being jealous of the flower girl which i swear was not on the version cut out cut out in syndication i am positive it was um because it it's one if it just had ended of lisa being jealous of the flower girl but it goes on a little too long. Lisa jealous of Maggie? Yeah, Lisa being jealous. I could be a better flower girl.
Starting point is 00:36:06 I'm not going to fall down all the time. My favorite, I almost got Chief Wiggum, but it's too visual to play here. Chief Wiggum, you've been around. You don't trust Sideshow Bob, do you? Ah, lighten up, son. If he was going to commit a crime, would he have invited the number one cop in town?
Starting point is 00:36:22 Now, where did I put my gun? Oh, yeah. I set it down when i got a piece of cake his his iq is dropping precipitously it's a new level of incompetence for him he because he has to be that stupid for the stuff to work in this episode and uh also the crusty do something funny thing on video that was from one of the writers of the show at a wedding gary shandling was at his wedding and and they're like, Gary, do something funny. And he didn't do something that funny on it, and it was just him being troubled of like, hey, comedian at this wedding, be funny on the spot right now. It was funny to see Krusty just being a normal guy and trying to get through it. 10-inch pianist.
Starting point is 00:37:02 That is pretty funny. We do get two really important Sideshow Bob sound effects. One is like, and does he end the act on this crazy laugh? The first crazy Sideshow Bob laugh, which would become a staple. And then later we see that.
Starting point is 00:37:12 No, it's his second one because he, the second act break on Krusty Gets Busted also is him laughing like he's like, oh, crying. Okay, you're right.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Yeah. This feels more like his signature laugh, but then we also have the shudder later, which we'll get to. Oh, the shudder. Love it. But yeah, so as a kid, I was definitely shocked.
Starting point is 00:37:29 I'm like, he's evil. He's still evil, even though they revealed him. It was still surprising in 1992. So when he sends, for plot purposes, they have to send the VHS of their honeymoon to them, but that must have been like overnight or something. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense. Unless he's killing her like a week into it. It does make sense in
Starting point is 00:37:49 Now World. Yes. You could absolutely see someone's honeymoon the second it's happening. Well we know that Patty and Selma have maternity leave they're not going to use so that could be like a month long vacation. He's going to kill her that late into it. Kill her the first week. That's right dear. Enjoy rest the wedding was very tough on you and the honeymoon is going to be murder jesus and a google alert happening in the background apologies i'm without gene that
Starting point is 00:38:31 him having the sex couldn't have been that hard yeah it was a little mean like as time has passed i feel like the jokes at patty and selma's expense are a little mean-spirited like let them just be boring and gross it it's they can't draw them to be as grotesque as i think the writers want them to be yeah because that wouldn't make much sense but i do love that they're unfuckable goons meant for one another uh i love that about i do like their negativity more than the jokes about them having hairy legs yeah they're unattractive from every level and it's great to have characters like that I mean they're horrible people but they also have to keep making jokes
Starting point is 00:39:08 about like well they have facial hair they smell horrible they have disgusting feet their hair sucks their apartment is disgusting they have black heads all these things but so
Starting point is 00:39:23 it is such a great writery joke of all the ways he threatens her while whilst rubbing her feet yes beautiful like do you not have that no i didn't you're absolutely right it's like three languages to get out of uh yeah that's sanskrit for i'm going to kill you what what's that like oh, you know, MacGyver's going to be on soon. I'm not kidding. If you haven't seen this in a while, it is fun to watch as a mystery. It's very Encyclopedia Brownie. It looks good. It's a
Starting point is 00:39:54 great looking show. So much is happening at night with all kinds of great colors that you really don't see in the show that often. David Silverman is so good. His direction and his team is so good in this one. Even the little things like the cool hand Luke reference in the story of him being
Starting point is 00:40:10 in jail. Just the way he crumples the cup in his hand. It's just beautiful. And there's one particular scene we'll get to later that is so perfect for this episode. Just the tension of possible murder. So when Bart realizes it's what's going
Starting point is 00:40:26 to happen... MacGyver! MacGyver! MacGyver! MacGyver! Answer! Sorry, I only wanted the MacGyver part. I love Bart's head popping into frame with this crazy expression. Though when he retells the story, there's
Starting point is 00:40:40 some continuity errors there. Because he realizes this is surrounded by the whole family but then when he's explaining it in the flashback to homer it's just with homer four jokes about how stupid homer is that's why there's like has to be alone there's like a diagram there's a puppet show there's like bart turning on the stove he makes it clear like i told him four different after trying to explain to him four different ways how it is i then told mom once and we then left great great tiny joke to the simpsons mobile yeah and with the explosion out backfiring yes i love how dumb homer is but he
Starting point is 00:41:15 immediately becomes heroic like let's go we're doing it and then of course the series second ever psycho reference of the turning of the chair back around. You were having such a lovely evening and then I went and spoiled it all by doing something stupid like explode you. Sideshow Bob, I'm afraid the only victims here are the good people at Best Western Hotels.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Again, their honeymoon is at a Best Western. It's completely visual, but we totally missed Selma pulling the cigarette out, pulling the match up in the air, every amazing shot of her just striking the match and nearly like, yeah. If you want to talk about that. And Bart running in and grabbing her hands. Yeah, that kind of stuff
Starting point is 00:41:54 the Simpsons won't do today. I never mentioned it, but I cut it out during the sound effects, but Homer showing how he would cut a person who put him in jail over and over in front of Bart's eyes. It's the kind of thing that the modern Simpsons lacks. It's a very, very nice visual joke.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Those little touches, yeah. And also I did love when he says, Do you got room in your prison for a two-time loser? Well, no, frankly, but they never stopped this before. It's so great. Lots of wonderful veiled jokes at the prison system, including, of course, the last one, which I love the most. I'll be back.
Starting point is 00:42:26 You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever. And when they get in, I'm back on the streets with all my criminal buddies. So Cape Fear would air in the fall of 1993 when Bill Clinton was in the office. So he did get out of prison once the Democrats were there. He wouldn't meet Birch Barlow until way after this? Oh, yeah. That'd be going to take us another year to get to Birch Barlow? And also this Bob episode.
Starting point is 00:42:56 Too much blood on the knob. This Bob episode ends with a fun callback to Krusty Gets Busted. So when Bart saves Krusty Gets Busted. So when Bart saves Krusty, they say like, oh, we're sorry, Krusty, it'll never happen again. They says, well, there was one little boy who never lost faith in me. Thank you, Bart.
Starting point is 00:43:15 Marge ends this one with, Bob fooled everybody, but there was one little boy who never lost his sense of distrust. I love that line. You're right, that's an excellent callback. And we did miss how they still had the room explode, but it was because of Wiggum. Oh, right. The gas. Like, he throws a match behind him.
Starting point is 00:43:31 Why did the room explode? The reason why we don't have clips of that is because, to this episode's credit, it's visually great, especially during these sequences. It is a gorgeous episode. And by the way, I was just at Comic-Con, and I was told I might get to interview David Silverman. It is a gorgeous episode. And by the way, I was just at Comic-Con and I was told
Starting point is 00:43:46 I might get to interview David Silverman. It fell through, but I so wanted to talk to him. I would have a billion questions. I would annoy the hell out of him. I know. There's one cut scene.
Starting point is 00:43:55 This episode was supposed to end with Patty and Selma together. Patty asks Selma, so how was it? And Selma says, it would have been worth it even if he had blown me to bits. So that leads me to believe
Starting point is 00:44:04 that she did lose her virginity on that honeymoon. Please, please. I'm a Selma virginity truther, as we talked about our other trutherness on other episodes. One of my favorite lines, I forgot to get it, was like, you tried to kill me. I want a separation. And the shudder after having sex. That is the one theyused for the rakes. Or they just told him to do it again.
Starting point is 00:44:30 But it is so perfectly the same shutter that I think they just reused. I think on the commentary they just said they pulled that, and that's what you hear 20 times. When will it get to? In six months, I guess. Six months, yeah. Oh, God. But, I mean, this was a great return of Bob,
Starting point is 00:44:44 the start of the bob series of episodes yeah i think is it might be at an even tender 12 at this point i cashed out around 17 18 oh really cousin merle i i mean i did i did watch the one the italian bob which was kind of fun that's the last one i saw i believe bart was being being in a coffin about to be burned alive. The last one I saw, if we're talking Sideshow Bob, is the Universal Studios ride where he's the main villain. It's absolutely wonderful. No, here he's here, but you get Sideshow Bob. I still need to ride that.
Starting point is 00:45:17 It does make sense. Sideshow Bob sabotaging things in Krusty Land. That's the perfect way to set up. It's the perfect way to set up a, oh, the ride's gone wrong thing that happens in every ride. And I feel like the writers love Bob because he's like another Burns.
Starting point is 00:45:36 Like, let's write flowery dialogue for this, like, stuck up character. Let's use all those Harvard words we never get to use. You'll love the ride, Bob. Every character is all CG. Really? All CG? I don't want to ride it anymore. It's a great, it's honestly
Starting point is 00:45:49 great ride. You'll love it. I mean, you'll also just love being around Springfield. Especially if you're a nerd because they hollowed out and scooped out the guts of Back to the Future ride. But get Christopher Lloyd to reprise his role as Doc Brown. Really? Yeah. It's something that I will not go off on this,
Starting point is 00:46:06 but every time Disney gets rid of a beloved ride, they leave a mark or a piece of it behind. For example, I love Country Bears, and you go to Disneyland, and it's replaced by Winnie the Pooh ride. If you turn around immediately when you go on the ride, you can see the old robot heads. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:46:23 You go into Winnie the Pooh in Disney World. You see something that looks like a knot in the wood, and it's the shape of the Nautilus that used to be there. And Universal hadn't done that because it just scraped the world of their rides. Well, they lose the rights. Yeah, they lose the rights. But Christopher Lloyd is there, and it's a bummer to see Back to the Future ride go. But it is a two-and-a two and a half minute ride and it's on the DVD the blu-ray and DVD and I did
Starting point is 00:46:47 ride that one at least while it was still on it's a ride that no longer exists anywhere until last until a few months ago it was in Osaka but they that is closed not not true I actually met one of the guys who worked on the the ride buddy Dave
Starting point is 00:47:02 he like the ride is built, you know this, like, stupid little carnival, it looks like a piece of a monorail that's on a rod that can be lifted
Starting point is 00:47:11 and a TV screen. It's like a mechanical bull with a car on top of it. he said, like, it was tragic because they destroyed every DeLorean
Starting point is 00:47:19 because, like, a collector market can't exist in a capitalist economy, like, if you can't make the money off of it,
Starting point is 00:47:24 so you destroy these things. But they could port that to any park in the world. Yeah, so they can do that. Yeah, but I mean, the ride with the DeLorean and the Institute around it. With a 30-minute Biff and Doc Brown lead-up. Yeah, all that stuff's gone. And I would complain more if the Simpsons area wasn't so cool. That looks great.
Starting point is 00:47:44 And I've never been to the Florida one, and I haven't been to the revamped one in Hollywood. But it was still pretty great. Why don't the three of us just plan a trip together to Universal? I'm totally down. We can do a podcast there. Yeah, we can record a little bit of a video. Yeah. I mean, the Springfield of Orlando is so lovely.
Starting point is 00:48:01 Yeah, if I can just say that. Videos look awesome. I do believe part part of why the back of the future ride was fun for me as a as a young lad was that there's a 30 the ride it's the videos on the DVD the the the ride it is two and a half minutes stuff
Starting point is 00:48:16 but the Doc Brown lead up in the line cue stuff is original footage with Tom Wilson and Christopher Lloyd and it's great and it's on the DVD too but it's also if you've seen the line. So what you've seen in the line, like no matter how long the Simpsons ride line is, it's just Simpsons clips. It's robot chicken style Simpsons clips
Starting point is 00:48:33 of every time they've been to a theme park fair or any kind of public event. When you're in the Quickie Mart, they're showing only clips from Quickie Mart. I want that in every line. When you're in the restaurants, they're showing clips from restaurants. And they I want that in every line. When you're in the restaurants, they're showing clips from restaurants.
Starting point is 00:48:45 And they clearly, like, I bet for licensing reasons, they're like, you only get up to season 10, but that's only what I want anyway. It's only what anyone wants. And I've only been recently able to confirm
Starting point is 00:48:55 because I went there twice because, let's say, Universal, it ain't Disney. I call it the island of misfit IP. None of it is related to one another. Can I go on the backdraft ride still? Yeah. it is related to one another. Backdraft rights. Yeah. There's a water world show still at Universal's Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Insane. The Blues Brothers will come out and greet you in front of Shrek land in front of Curious George. A bunch of stuff like it's impossible to like. Nobody. Mystery machine. Nobody likes all this. But what we saw the first time we went there is like there's that tchotchke of the customized license plates with your name on it. And, of course, there's a Bort.
Starting point is 00:49:31 And every time I went, it was empty. And I thought that was just part of the joke. And it took like a year. Like, oh, you can actually buy Bort license plates there. But they sell out within moments. Moments of being put out, people buy the Bort license plates. I've seen they just never make them as part of the joke. Everything with a customized name has a Bort. I was very lucky to get a Bort. Oh, wow. You have a Bort?
Starting point is 00:49:48 Damn. That was beautiful. But anyway. Yes, thanks so much for joining us, people. That was Black Widower, one of the greatest episodes of Season 3, I think. I've been Bob Mackie, your host. You can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo. I also host the Classic Gaming Podcast, Retronauts. You can find that at usgamer.net or retronauts.com every Monday, and I also write for somethingawful.com
Starting point is 00:50:04 every other Thursday, so check that stuff usgamer.net or retronauts.com every Monday. And I also write for somethingawful.com every other Thursday. So check that stuff out over there. Wow! Bob Mackie! Oh, my God. It's been literal tens of episodes since I've heard that. I need that every episode, Chris. Please, cue it up.
Starting point is 00:50:15 Chris Antiste. I'm Cantiste on Twitter. I don't think I've said anything in weeks. But I do say a lot of stuff on podcasts like Laser Time where we usually pick a pop culture topic. Run with that on 302010, which is a wonderful little portal into that week in history 30 years ago, 20 years ago, and 10 years ago. We talk about a lot of 9-11 talk in a recent episode. It's very strange. And you wouldn't think so. Yeah, wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:50:38 Yeah, find out why. In two episodes in a row, I will say, Brett and I, one of our personal favorite movies, we didn't realize were released a week apart. Oh, wow. And we talked in a very long fashion about them and even wrote about them on LasertimePodcast.com where you can find all the shows and this one grouped together with any pertinent links and all that stuff. And I'm H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on Twitter. You can follow me there. And I write for fandom.wikia.com. That is my job.
Starting point is 00:51:06 But I still am part of the Lazer Time family on this stuff. And I appear on other podcasts here and there. But you should really know that this podcast is brought to you by patreon.com slash Lazer Time, in case we haven't mentioned it before. You made it happen. And so everybody there who made it happen has exclusive access to the first season of Talking Simpsons. Thirteen episodes are there waiting for you. Just for $5 a month, though.
Starting point is 00:51:27 For $10 a month, you get access to more stuff. Why did you say let Blacksmithers be your guide? Blacksmithers is your guide. Yeah, dig a little bit to find them now. I can link to an article with them all. Oh, cool. We might have to do another one of those because even now that one's probably like
Starting point is 00:51:40 a dozen deep into our posts. But anyway, yeah, that support makes this all worthwhile, and every dollar counts. So thank you very much for all that. I definitely ran into some Lazer Time fans at Comic-Con. Oh, cool. So thanks, everybody. We love doing it.
Starting point is 00:51:55 Cool. Thanks for joining us. We'll be back next week when Bart goes to see Spinal Tap. Later. wow infotainment

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