Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Black Widower
Episode Date: August 10, 2016Sideshow Bob returns for the first time ever, and he just wants to move on and start a new life with Selma. Or DOES HE?!?! Find out in this podcast…...
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first order ahoy hoy everybody and welcome to talking simpsons the official fan club of suck up the vacuum and
this is the laser time podcast network's official chronological exploration of the simpsons i am your host sideshow bob mackie who else is here with me today christopher
antista uh the biggest cat in the whole wide world henry gilbert and today's episode is
black widower and it aired every time i hear the word macGyver, I just do that.
You hear Hank Azaria saying,
Today's episode is Black Widower, which aired on April 9th, 1992.
Chris, what happened on this mythical day in Simpsons history?
Oh my God!
It looks as if Arthur Ashe reveals he has AIDS.
Sam Kinison is killed in a car accident.
And Bill Clinton has won the New York primary.
But setting records, Silence of the Lambs won Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Actress,
Best Director, Best Adapted Screenplay as it sweeps the 64th Academy Awards.
Wow.
I ran this by Diana and she says, yes, only two other films have achieved this height
at the Oscars.
It's kind of interesting.
One flew over the cuckoo's nest and it happened one night.
I feel like feel-good movies were dominating the Oscars until fairly recently.
Like Citizen Kane lost to The Greatest Year or How Green Was My Valley or something like that.
But it was a turning point for the Oscars.
Yeah, this is a mean psychod psycho drama of like oh maybe maybe murderers
are okay if they're killing other murderers what if they're charismatic you should have a 30 2010
about the original hannibal lecter movie coming up very soon 30 years ago uh it's manhunter adapted
from red dragon and like the world didn't know what that was didn't care for it when it came
out and almost 10 years later cared cared a lot for Brian Cox.
Oh, man.
He was pretty good.
You mean Scrubsy?
Yeah.
Actually, there's this great fan edit I saw online of, because Red Dragon has been adapted
three times, so they took the same scene from Manhunter, Red the book and hannibal and showed like how each of these guys
played hannibal lecter in this specific scene and it shows you their differences it's really cool
just say hannibal is so good so good i can't believe it was canceled it seemed to be on the
uh like i can't believe it was ever on the air yeah if you see the kind of stuff they pulled
on nbc no no that's right how many bodies did you sew together grotesquely in prime
time on nbc jesus christ and then meanwhile sam kinnison's passing that reminds me of uh i can't
remember his name but it was sam kinnison's best buddy who was on the mark uh the mark maron
podcast who's who's then like his his daughter turned out to actually be sam kinnison's daughter
instead and uh he tells the story of being with Sam
when he died. It's horrible.
Because he was a wreck,
kind of a whirlwind of a person, and
had just sobered up and was hit
by a drunk driver. It was not
his fault. God. Fate was taking
him out. Crazy. Something like that.
Speaking of death! I do want to mention
Black Widower is also the name of a
Sons of Anarchy episode, which
caused some confusion when I was doing research.
And it's weird because there's a Simpsons episode named I'm With Cupid and a King of
the Hill episode named I'm With Cupid.
They're like one year apart.
I'm like, you were both on Fox.
Can't you at least like figure this out on your own?
Well, so this episode has a co-story written credit by Thomas Chastain. Yes. Who was a member of
the American Mystery Society
because they
wanted to make this an
actual mystery. They wanted to make this a
mystery episode. I think they ran the
mechanics of the mystery past him.
He died in 1994. I really want to read
some of his books. I've gotten into mysteries lately.
It's interesting. In hindsight, watching this episode
where you know where it's going, and there's a couple scenes where you're like why didn't the
simpsons make a joke here yeah and it's because it's exposition that'll pay off later to the
mystery i mean this is practice for the who shot mr burns like that is a mystery that much better
everything works as a joke and as a and as a clue that they wanted to win the Edgar Award for Mystery Writing,
which is a yearly thing that gives...
It's a yearly award
named after Edgar Allan Poe,
who wrote the first detective story,
The Murders in the Rue Morgue.
And they really...
The monkey did it.
It's just spoiler.
So they wanted to win the award.
The monkey with the razor blade.
They wanted to win the Edgar Award
for television writing,
and they did not win it
and then mike reese jokes that if they saw how crappy and cheap the award looked beforehand
they would have realized they didn't want it he said it looked like it should have been filled
with bubble bath exactly but the episode opens with oh my god i completely forgot this such a
time capsule would you turn off that rock and rock music?
Hey, you don't have a stegosaurus, man.
These talking dinosaurs are more real than most real families on TV.
Look, Maggie, you have a baby too.
It's like they saw our lives and put it right up on screen.
Now, yeah, we both said now at the same time.
I have some qualms about this.
No, me too.
Mommy, I'm home.
Just wanted to put on the dinosaurs theme to set the mood. Yeah, Dinosaurs, the Jim Henson Productions ABC sitcom, Dinosaurs, was a popular show,
but a brief flash of popularity right around when The Simpsons came out.
A year after The Simpsons.
It was definitely in the shadow of The Simpsons.
But when you watch it,
it's Muppets, Al, and the
family. They even got Sally
Struthers to play the same character.
It is actually more absurd than The Simpsons.
I think it's more deeply satirical
because there are issue episodes.
I remember my parents laughing conspicuously at the marijuana episode, which gave me a lot of insight into my parents' previous lives.
I was just going to mention the drug episode.
It was all on Netflix, and there's an episode where the baby grows a horn and becomes a god.
Yeah.
A more scathing addressing of religion than The Simpsons had ever done at that point.
I do remember the grandmother had a, what's that called,
a death experience?
Yeah, she was supposed to die.
She was supposed to die.
She was taken to the tar pits to die.
And a preacher was then selling
like tracts of land in heaven
based on her near death experience.
The show, it's very odd,
but it doesn't,
it does hold up well
just because of how weird it looks.
Well, even during
Operation Desert Storm
when nobody was mocking it on TV,
they made a two-parter about what a pointless,
made-up war it was to distract people from things.
And war stood for we are rights,
which is like, that is the most liberal message
you could put on the show in that era.
Because here's the reality behind it.
Dinosaurs looked a lot like the ripoff of The Simpsons
because The Simpsons are what got it on the air.
Exactly.
Jim Henson had tried to get the show on the air before, his idea being a family who is toxic to its own environment.
Jim Henson, reputed hippie.
And that was the basis for the show, and no one really wanted to do it until, like, what was that Jim Henson idea?
Where the family hates one another and they're all dysfunctional.
Now The Simpsons is popular. Let's put it on the air and and dinosaurs was popular
yeah uh it was just incredibly expensive and you can go back and look at it now i'm like yeah how
the fuck did they do this 20 times a year it was over it was like not popular yeah well they moved
the time slot around so much yeah it moved the time slot around but i also think people like
got sick of the baby like It was urkelizing the baby
too. It was the voice of
Elmo. The baby had its own song, I think.
Its own single. I have that baby.
It's all right up there. Did you take a picture of it and tweet it
recently? I took a picture of Charlene and tweeted that.
Chris Dantes has a
Charlene Happy Meal toy or something. It is the worst
toy. Did you use it?
No. It has an air pressure gauge. It is
the worst toy in the universe
what is its action you push a thing in the back which moves air through a hose creating a hydraulic
system that moves a phone a half an inch closer to her face that's our charlene yeah she loves the
phone okay but so the simpsons felt that they were being ripped off from like it felt like a lot from
mike reese too because he's the guy who also on other ones
is just like uh they canceled uh the critic for king of the hill and and hank hill is just uh
homer wearing glasses which he isn't yeah i don't get that commentary at all if i've ever met him
in public i'd ask him he's very awkward he does seem slightly defensive on those things in the
same deal here he says like it's the same show. Like, no, like the Bart guy,
the Bart character
they make is Bart.
On the show,
he's a teenager.
He's not Bart.
He has teen problems.
He's competent, smart,
and an overachiever
as the daughter
is a little ditzy.
So not like Lisa.
The only comparison
they have even slightly
is the Marge and Homer characters.
Yeah.
And they're both like
Earl and the character
who's played by
Lucille Bluth.
Jessica Walter.
I don't think
The Simpsons will be
daring enough to kill
every character
on the last episode
like Dinosaurs did.
Dinosaurs really
shut itself out
from like a streaming revolution
where it could be brought back.
So which Patreon tier
is the dinosaurs?
Talking dinosaurs.
That's only like 15.
My buddy showed me
in Orlando
in Disney World when the lights go out just a certain way
and one of the facades is still like baby, the baby dinosaur.
Really?
In Hollywood Studios, it still has a little piece there to remember dinosaurs by.
Okay, so after the dinosaurs joke.
I want to talk more about dinosaurs.
Those are 10 minute dinosaurs.
But unlike a lot of episodes of The Simpsons, that's the only non-storyline joke that happens,
and it's over in less than a minute.
So did you notice?
It immediately happened.
This immediately happens.
Now, kids, I know you're all excited about meeting Aunt Selma's new boyfriend tonight,
but I think that before he gets here, I should tell you something about him.
You see, Aunt Selma has this crazy obsession about not dying alone.
So in desperation, she joined this prison pen pal program.
Her new sweetie's a jailbird.
Cool! He can teach us how to kill a man with a lunch tray!
Now, now, he's an ex-convict.
He's paid his debt to society.
And how come you're not using the good silverware?
I'm just not.
So, did you notice in that
section, too, they have a
three dream bubble
things again. Yes. Third episode
in a row. Well, not third in a row
that they've done it. They did it in
Homer at the Bat. They did it in the one with the
separate vocations when they took
the test. And Wonderbat as well? Yeah.
So, this is the third time. There's another
third time in this episode, too. We'll get to soon. But'll get too soon but yeah and then so i was definitely as a kid shocked when
it was sideshow bob i did not think i was just gonna ask that because i don't remember if that
was the promos and i saw it coming i'm sure it was in the commercials but i didn't see the
commercials and just remember at this point it wasn't a tradition for sideshow bob to come back
this was his second well it's like fourth appearance, but his second voice.
As Kelsey Grammer.
And here's a little clip of that.
Everyone, I'd like you to meet...
Sideshow Bob!
What the...
Selma, dear, I'm afraid the children's reaction is quite understandable.
You see, Bart here is the shameless and short pants who sent me to prison.
That's right, Aunt Selma.
Your new boyfriend here framed Krusty the Clown for armed robbery.
Gee, if some snot-nosed little kid sent me to prison,
the first thing out I'd find out where he lives and tear him a new belly button.
Ah, Mr. Simpson, you're forgetting the first two noble truths of the Buddha.
I am not.
Yes, you are.
One, existence is suffering.
Two, the cause of suffering is desire.
In this case, my desire
to do high-quality children's programming.
And that's...
The voice is beautiful.
Yeah, I love Kelsey.
I don't know.
I never thought I'd love Kelsey Grammer again
because I hated Frasier so much.
And I don't anymore, by the way.
I've come around on it.
He seems like kind of a turn in real life yeah
speaking of the return
of Bob I noticed a lot
of these late season
three episodes they're
really calling back to
their own continuity
we've seen a lot of
previous references what
I was going to point
out this is this is one
of I would say a dozen
a dozen points of
continuity the Simpsons
ever kept for the first
10 years that's right
yeah and it's it's the
biggest it's the only
thing that shows you
that time even moves on
and there's a sequence of the episodes the simpsons for the most part other than like
burns his head gift and uh yeah with every bob episode that they do recap every last instance
right yeah and that's he did that he did that and that's what makes this weird because up until this
point but i forget that bob's crime was relatively meager it is understandable that he could get out
of jail in two years because it was armed robbery just armed robbery just armed robbery no bart is still 10 like he doesn't he's
not 12 when he gets out but you kind of have to just fudge those things and uh so when he's telling
his story like when it gets to the emmy that's how you know the simpsons had won an emmy in the here
in between so they had a lot of emmy jokes like i was surprised they just kept it an Emmy. It was just not even like a parody
of the Emmys. I love that whole sequence.
I only clipped this ten seconds from
his description of the courtship of
Selma.
Dear Selma, your latest letter
set off a riot in the maximum security
wing of my heart.
Okay. That clip, Chris, that's one of three instances of women sinking into a tub in ecstasy.
One is Marjorie Rancho-Relaxo.
The other one is Edna reading Woodrow's letter.
This is the third one in a row.
It sounds like that's the extent of what the Simpsons writers know about women.
When a woman reads a letter, she's so turned on she can't keep her head above water.
But seriously, women do masturbate in bathtubs. saying i think especially 30 years that's what jets are for
uh and also there was a couple of one-off jokes in there the 24601 joke that is the
number of jean valjean and les miserables and uh which it's this he sings it in the musical so i
i'm not so well read i have not read the book. I just know that for the music.
I just know the number.
It's like the CalArts number.
Two, four, six, oh, one.
It's like Homer before the voice change.
And also, Kelsey Grammer, four years before this episode aired, spent 30 days in jail for a DUI cocaine possession in 1988.
Yeah, there's a lot of wrecked cars behind Kelsey Grammer.
He has real substance abuse issues.
I didn't even know about that.
He fell off a stage once on Disney World.
It's one of the greatest videos on the internet.
Was he on coke or just like...
He was a UN interpreter.
Oh, good lord.
And also he has a one-off joke that he says,
a lifetime conservative Republican,
which is also what I believe Kelsey Grammer's real life politics is.
Yeah, he is very conservative.
And though clearly he can tell, he's fine with joking around with the Simpsons who are
mostly liberal dudes.
And it would then come to fruition in season six with Sideshow Bob Roberts.
That makes perfect sense.
Yeah.
Yes.
We see the same thing about the crowded prisons, the revolving door system.
But in the meantime, he does propose to Selma.
Like, the second after there, he introduces a couple.
If I did something bold and shocking in front of your family.
All right, but no tongues.
Although kissing you would be like kissing some divine ashtray.
That's not what I had in mind.
Selma, will you marry me?
Don't be a fool, Selma.
That man is scum.
Then call me Mrs. Scum.
There are a lot of great Bob jokes
that I feel are signaling to the audience
like he hates Selma.
It doesn't happen as early as you think, though.
Yeah, I mean, he mentions later
like God made 168 pounds of women
a woman for
me and then well he said 41 years ago right god made 168 pounds of clay and made it to a woman so
says her age and her weight the two things you should never do especially on her special day
during his wedding speech yeah now there's also that line there's there's a controversy uh in
this the right word for the writers in this episode
Where Snake is in this
This is like his fourth appearance by this point
But it's where he is named Snake
Snake I'll miss you most of all
I'll miss you most of all Snake
But that was
He had always been Jailbird in the scripts
And he would still be Jailbird in the scripts
And some of the OG Simpsons writers
Were like he's not Snake He's Jailbird We did not write that line to be said be Jailbird in the scripts. And some of the OG Simpsons writers were like,
he's not Snake, he's Jailbird.
We did not write that line to be said to Jailbird and call him Snake.
I feel like the animators were just pulling models out of a pack.
Like, yeah, he'll work.
So then in season 17, they finally reconcile this
by making his official name Snake Jailbird.
Thank God they sealed that hole.
It does lead me
to a very weird scene.
I love Krusty and I love that
Krusty is a proxy for every
entertainment figure just because
he's the only one in Springfield who's not Ken Brockman.
And so now he's Jerry Lewis
which I don't think he's been before but he's hosting
a telethon.
We now return to the 27th
annual Krusty the Clown telethon
for motion sickness.
Tiffany!
Woohoo!
I love you people!
I love my kids!
Poor little guys.
So tragic.
So nauseous.
You should see the bus they came to the studio in.
Just wanted to point, I never heard the word timpani until came to the studio in.
Just wanted to point, I never heard the word timpani until I got the sound effect.
So this perfectly echoes the relationship between Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin, where Krusty is the silly one and Sideshow Bob is the more serious one
who wants to do serious things with his life.
But that's what's...
Ladies and gentlemen, the chairman.
The chairman of the board, you know who I'm talking about.
And he is Frank Sinatra.
He is Frank Sinatra.
He's just never called Frank Sinatra.
Bubla, Krustaloop.
I think it's a parody of Chairman of the Board.
I forget what they say, like the...
No, they don't say, this is Frank Sinatra.
Or whatever.
Yeah, they never...
He says, the chairman of the board, you know who I'm talking about.
Come out here, you old goomba.
Yeah, and I just can't tell.
I don't know.
The Simpsons doesn't do those kind of parodies usually of a direct character.
But even though it's like he's the chairman of the board.
But it has to be Frank because it's Frank who does introduce Dean.
Who does reunite them.
So, yeah, I got the dates on this this time.
Oh, cool, cool.
So, you know, Martin and Lewis had been a comedy team.
They were famous separate from each other in the 50s while Dean before the 50s.
Like a stage level.
Yeah, but they then became a comedy duo of just the straight man and the goofball.
I do the singing.
I do the comedy!
But Dean...
Hey, what you doing over there?
What you doing over there?
Eventually, they couldn't exist together.
Like, they were two famous guys.
Egos, blah-biddy-blah. What are you doing over there? Eventually, they couldn't exist together. They were two famous guys.
Egos, blah, blah, blah.
I think it was really Lewis got all the attention because he was just a fucking Jim Carrey of his day.
Well, more than Jim Carrey.
There is a documentary about Jerry Lewis that is fascinating
because we know him as this embarrassing clown,
a Jim Carrey-esque, over-the-top person.
And when you see these movies from the 1960s,
he's the only one who doesn't...
Like, holy shit, no one else can do that.
And not only that, unlike Jim Carrey, Lewis immediately used his stardom to become a director, to create his own studio, and to control his own projects.
Control everything.
You don't hear about him today other than the day the clown cried, which the whole public can't wrap their head around.
Like, why did one person who starred in a movie make it unseeable?
It's funny.
Tom Cruise doesn't have that power.
Growing up in the 80s, the Jerry Lewis that I knew was the very self-serious one that was parodied on Animaniacs as Mr. Director.
Like, super, super serious guy.
But that is who he was.
But he seized control of his career.
I don't know if there's been someone more powerful who's made more money in the entertainment business than Jerry Lewis.
And still alive, crossing fingers he hasn't died before he was on the simpsons as frank's father everybody parodied in this scene dean martin was dead before i was born uh frank sinatra
dead in 1989 jerry lewis like it was like 90s it would have been like 92 or something like that
maybe 95 but like jerry lew is still fucking alive and doing public appearances.
Okay, so they broke up in 1956.
And then Jerry Lewis started doing his muscular dystrophy telethon, which he, I think, only recently quit.
Quit hosting.
Even into his 70s, he would be there the whole time.
The whole time, because he did love those kids so much, and he would do it every Labor Day.
September 5th, 1976, he is surprised on air.
20 years after they'd broken up, Dean Martin comes out, and they're like, we're back together.
And they just goof around and joke, but Dean is already not liking it.
He's like, you're overshadowing me
already i hate this but that moment was so big to children of the 70s that they've remade it
so many times on the sims they referenced it before this episode too and i forget which one
it was maybe bart the daredevil it happened on or something like that so yeah i forget what the
context was though uh no it was on uh like father like clown too oh yeah you're right
they always they did it through crusty and again people we're not the old people we barely barely
remember this too this is through research we're the children of the old people yeah so them
getting back together was great though i guess it was all fake like he definitely still hated
crusty and then it's like This guy is a national treasure.
That jerk I got to replace you, he isn't fit to hold your slide whistle.
All I can be is myself.
Krusty, can you ever forgive me for framing you and putting you in jail?
Hey, if they ever open the books on this telethon, I'm right back in there.
So that's the first spoken line from Sideshow Mel.
Before we heard him sing, sing, sing.
But that was so great. I love Sideshow Mel. All I him sing, sing, sing. But that was so great.
I love Sideshow Mel.
All I can be is myself.
He looks like a Flintstones character.
Also, a little before this, the song they're doing karaoke, one, you can see every time Bob comes back, they get him to sing more.
They just love him singing.
It's good.
He's good at it. Yeah, and the song they are duetting is Something Stupid, which was made famous by Frank Sinatra singing that with his daughter, Nancy, in 1967 in a hit song,
which is kind of gross.
That is gross.
Yeah, it's a bit strange.
But anyway, that documentary, The Wrecking Crew, is great just because, like, Frank Sinatra.
Nancy Sinatra tells a story like, yeah, Frank wanted the song, Boots Are Made For Walking.
One of these days, these boots are going to.
And Nancy Sinatra's like, that's not a man's song, you asshole.
You can't sing that, Frank.
You can't sing about stomping on a woman. I'll sing whatever I want, baby.
I'll do whatever I want, baby.
I'm platinum.
Shut up.
Shut up, fraud.
How do you call that?
I could probably make a Frank Sinatra
character and everybody in the world would believe
it's unique because nobody remembers him
the biggest celebrity in the universe
I do have
like two lines
my favorite lines of the show occur
in one of the next sequences
and that's during the wedding planning
I'm giving it as a tie
to both Homer and Selma.
That's the joke.
You're drinking cocktail sauce, right?
And what would you like for appetizers?
Ooh, appetizers.
Well, Homer, you seem to be a trencherman.
What should we serve?
Well, you can't go wrong with cocktail
weenies. They taste as good
as they look, and they come in this delicious
red sauce. It looks like ketchup.
It tastes like ketchup.
But, brother, it ain't ketchup.
Oh, man. Well, Selma, he makes a good case.
Eh, get whatever you want.
It all tastes like styrofoam to me.
Selma, dear, I'm confused.
Well, when I was a kid,
we were playing with bottle rockets,
and one shot straight up my nose.
I permanently lost my sense of taste and smell.
Okay, we've got cocktail weenies and Swedish meatballs.
One, I never realized how white trash the dish is going to be for their wedding.
And two, that is, I don't want to call it clumsy, but there's a joke in everything in The Simpsons.
This is establishing a mystery plot point.
It has to say the line mystery that selma can't smell
i'm not going to ruin the i don't i don't want to ruin the mystery for people so i didn't capture
any of that stuff whenever i get cocktail sauce i always think of that line yeah it ain't ketchup
i love that homer loves the tacky food served at like middle class weddings yeah and also i did
look it up trencherman is a hearty eater. Defined as a hearty eater by
the Webster. Wow, so it's like a
fancy insult. Yeah.
We also learned that Selma is a virgin.
No, she's not.
Really? No, that's the joke. She's saying,
so, I don't know how to say this.
And she's like, white. White.
Okay, I'll just...
She's saying, we're gonna have it white.
Don't tell me I can't have it white.
I assume that she's a virgin based on the cut scene that happens at the end of the episode that was never aired.
I swear, it's from another show.
I feel like there was a joke.
If the show was being made today, I was expecting a joke about breaking her hymen on a carnival ride.
Oh, Jesus.
I think it's from another show.
My take on it, Henry, though, was that she was ashamed of being a virgin, so she just wanted to clear the air.
No, it's white.
I can't imagine anyone fucking selling that up to this point.
No, no, no.
That is an old 80s joke, by the way.
Yeah, no, I think it's, knowing old comedy, the joke is, well, you shouldn't wear white because you're not a virgin.
You're not a virgin.
And they're like, I'm going to wear white.
I was thinking of the critic joke, white except for the gloves.
I love that joke.
That is the dirtiest joke in that whole show. It is, yeah.
But it also, canonically, she
is definitely not a virgin because in the way
we was, they say
these are the dates Marge gets because she doesn't
put out, implying that both
Patty and some were putting out, though.
Patty was putting out for some, for a
political reason.
But also, I swear to God,
my other line of the show, Jesus.
That's the joke.
Selma, this wedding is spinning out of control.
Can we really afford it?
I've already run through eight of the ten dollars they gave me when I left prison.
Hey, relax.
I told you I got money.
I bought stock in a mace company just before society crumbled.
That's great.
It perfectly plays into the cynicism of Patty and Selma.
I feel like these characters
go really underused after this season.
They are so often background characters
in season three that I feel like they just
went unused after this. They only popped up in episodes
about them, really.
The Simpsons will be right back.
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there was this journalism class.
Lights were always low.
And trying so hard to stay awake.
And finally my head does the full-on, like,
and I go back and smash the fuck out of the monitor behind me and send up a pigpen level of dust off of the monitor.
There's a domino effect of all the monitors.
But the teacher turns
around and it's like if he
couldn't echolocate whose
head hit the thing.
All I had to do is turn
around and look at like
OK like everything's
normal.
There's a huge cloud of
dust around one guy with
the halo around.
Yes.
And I was just like
sorry.
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you'll help us live and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again And so this was the reveal of his last name is Terwilliger.
Terwilliger, yeah.
There is some disagreement online about where it's from.
There's no one source.
But it is the name of a Portland street, so I'm going with that one.
Yeah, like half the characters in The Simpsons.
Landers, Quimby.
Kearney.
Yeah.
If it's not the name of a Matt Groening family member, then it's a name of a Portland street
because he grew up in Portland.
And yeah, so I'm going with that.
So the MacGyver thing was great meta commentary because the episode becomes MacGyver at the end.
A little bit, yeah.
Give some of that honey this way.
Holy free holies!
We've got ten minutes to MacGyver.
Driver, here's a fin.
Get me home and don't spare the whip.
Whatever you say, Mom.
Of course I'm going to get a Barney burping clip.
MacGyver. It's hard would be over in a couple months.
In a couple, because as a kid, though, it went for like seven or eight seasons.
So by the time I was aware there was live action television, MacGyver was on throughout my entire, let's call it, pop culture woke period.
This is April 92.
It would be over in May 92 forever.
Really?
Yes, I looked it up.
I remember when that happened.
It's coming back. It's that happened. It's coming back.
It's a reboot.
It's coming back.
It was a little weird kid with long hair.
I do love the MacGyver diversion.
Bob being so pissed off.
Great David Silverman directed this episode.
Great David Silverman poses.
Yeah, and I just love this because, you know, you live with somebody.
I've had a couple things with my lady that you just shut up about and endure because you know she does that for you.
And you don't have this kind of argument.
Thank you, Senor MacGyver.
You've saved our village.
Don't thank me.
Thank the moon's gravitational pull.
That's the perfect MacGyver line.
That MacGyver's a genius.
First of all, he's not a genius.
He's an actor.
And second, he's not much of an actor you're lying
you're lying no
Selma this is lying
that was a well plotted piece of non-clap
trap that never made me want to retch
no
just when I saw he was so mean
I can't describe this to make it sound important
but I just I did think MacGyver was
a thing that was always on the air because that that's the way it had seemed to me.
And this joke would last forever.
We're doing a show where I have to explain to people what MacGyver might be.
This was pointed out in Homer Alone, I think, this element of their lives.
And I think it just really reflects their ultimate mediocrity as people.
Like, Patty and Selma are the most mediocre, boring people ever.
And that's why they like MacGyver so much it was the most mediocre show on tv at
the time but yeah that animation of grover by the way really great
yeah but the way bob is animated just like
so restlessly sitting and just like moving well yeah he's doing that but
when they're watching the end of it he's just like
recrossing his arms moving again i love him just like glancing over at them like, are you serious?
You're still watching this?
You like this.
I mean, it's hard to imagine a world without an internet connected phone.
Hey, watch this thing you don't like for an hour with a lot of commercials.
Okay.
Now, so knowing how it ends, knowing how the episode ends, do you think that he actually
couldn't stand MacGyver and he was about to ruin his plan by getting by breaking up with her and MacGyver?
Or was his plan already to not like MacGyver to then set up a reason to leave, which would later become his alibi?
I don't know.
And the only note I have on this is that I wasn't expecting a mer-diddly-erdler because this scene
was so genuine. Like a genuine
couples argument of someone, of Bob
wanting to stay in love with
a person and make something
work. Because like, other than a murder
plot, this doesn't make sense.
Yes, I agree, Chris. I love this episode.
It's funny. I like the mystery. But
Bob's motivation doesn't make any sense.
Because I feel like killing Selma, Bart wouldn't care.
Like, I think Marge or Homer would love it, actually.
Marge would be broken up, but why does Bob care about Marge's feelings?
Like, I don't get why he wants to kill Selma outside of just him being a psychopath.
No, this is about money.
This one is for money.
It's only after this does he become...
Was it the stock that he wants, or what?
It's just it's
just this it's just this sequence we're a package love me love macgyver i guess the wedding's off
selma i don't know what to say just tell me you like macgyver very well i i i love this
i can't do it even that car chase seemed tacked on.
Oh, would you two knock it off?
I hate all the programs Marge likes, but it's no big deal.
You know why?
No.
Go on.
Whenever Marge puts on one of her non-violent programs, I take a walk.
I go to a bar, I pound a few, then I stumble home in the mood for love.
That's really dark.
Basically, Homer offered advice to the murder plot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't want to overanalyze it.
You're right, Chris.
Bob does leave while she watches MacGyver.
That was the plan.
I mean, that is part of his plan, though.
Maybe he just altered his plan to like, oh, okay, I'll just make this work within the
But as a kid, no idea no idea anything
is going to happen anything's different about the money motivation henry i do think they should have
laid in more of that because i feel like even watching this the 40th time it was never clear
like that was what he wanted you know but uh the i mean this is also the last time you could think
bob had gotten better because yeah because every later time you're like well yeah you're crazy
and then that's why they could do the opposite of this in the side so settle episode which should
have been the last bob episode they really should never i think it was meant to be the last bob
episode and in that one it was the reverse of like no he did clean up his act and no one
does believe yeah and it was a great twist that his brother spoiler was the actual psychopath
can't wait for that episode but uh but anyway yeah the so they get married they do the wedding uh i like the bit
with lisa being jealous of the flower girl which i swear was not on the version cut out cut out in
syndication i am positive it was um because it it's one if it just had ended of lisa being jealous
of the flower girl but it goes on a little too long. Lisa jealous of Maggie? Yeah, Lisa being jealous. I could be a better flower girl.
I'm not going to fall down all the time.
My favorite, I almost got Chief Wiggum,
but it's too visual to play here.
Chief Wiggum, you've been around.
You don't trust Sideshow Bob, do you?
Ah, lighten up, son.
If he was going to commit a crime,
would he have invited the number one cop in town?
Now, where did I put my gun?
Oh, yeah. I set it down when i got a piece of cake his his iq is dropping precipitously it's a new level of incompetence for him he
because he has to be that stupid for the stuff to work in this episode and uh also the crusty
do something funny thing on video that was from one of the writers of the show at a wedding
gary shandling was at his wedding and and they're like, Gary, do something funny.
And he didn't do something that funny on it, and it was just him being troubled of like, hey, comedian at this wedding, be funny on the spot right now.
It was funny to see Krusty just being a normal guy and trying to get through it.
10-inch pianist.
That is pretty funny.
We do get two really important Sideshow Bob sound effects.
One is like,
and does he end the act
on this crazy laugh?
The first crazy Sideshow Bob laugh,
which would become a staple.
And then later we see that.
No, it's his second one
because he,
the second act break
on Krusty Gets Busted
also is him laughing
like he's like,
oh, crying.
Okay, you're right.
Yeah.
This feels more like
his signature laugh,
but then we also have
the shudder later, which we'll get to.
Oh, the shudder.
Love it.
But yeah, so as a kid, I was definitely shocked.
I'm like, he's evil.
He's still evil, even though they revealed him.
It was still surprising in 1992.
So when he sends, for plot purposes, they have to send the VHS of their honeymoon to them,
but that must have been like overnight or something.
It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't make any sense. Unless he's killing her like a week
into it. It does make sense in
Now World. Yes.
You could absolutely see someone's honeymoon the second
it's happening. Well we know that Patty
and Selma have maternity leave they're not going to use
so that could be like a month long vacation.
He's going to kill her that
late into it. Kill her the first week.
That's right dear. Enjoy rest the wedding was very tough on you and the honeymoon is going to be murder jesus and a google alert happening in the background apologies i'm without gene that
him having the sex couldn't have been that hard yeah it was a little mean like as time has passed
i feel like the jokes at patty and selma's expense are a little mean-spirited like let them just be
boring and gross it it's they can't draw
them to be as grotesque as i think the writers want them to be yeah because that wouldn't make
much sense but i do love that they're unfuckable goons meant for one another uh i love that about
i do like their negativity more than the jokes about them having hairy legs yeah they're unattractive
from every level and it's great to have characters like that I mean they're horrible people
but they also have to keep making jokes
about like well they have
facial hair
they smell horrible
they have disgusting feet
their hair sucks
their apartment is disgusting
they have black heads
all these things but so
it is such a great writery joke of all the
ways he threatens her while whilst rubbing her feet yes beautiful like do you not have that no
i didn't you're absolutely right it's like three languages to get out of uh yeah that's sanskrit
for i'm going to kill you what what's that like oh, you know, MacGyver's going to be on soon. I'm not kidding.
If you haven't seen this in a while, it is
fun to watch as a mystery.
It's very Encyclopedia
Brownie. It looks good. It's a
great looking show. So much is
happening at night with all kinds of great colors that you
really don't see in the show that often. David Silverman
is so good. His direction
and his team is so good in this one.
Even the little things like
the cool hand Luke reference
in the story of him being
in jail. Just the way he crumples
the cup in his hand.
It's just beautiful. And there's one
particular scene we'll get to later that is so
perfect for this episode. Just the tension of
possible murder.
So when Bart realizes
it's what's going
to happen...
MacGyver! MacGyver!
MacGyver! MacGyver!
Answer!
Sorry, I only wanted the MacGyver part.
I love Bart's head popping into frame
with this crazy expression.
Though when he retells the story, there's
some continuity errors there.
Because he
realizes this is surrounded by the whole
family but then when he's explaining it in the flashback to homer it's just with homer four
jokes about how stupid homer is that's why there's like has to be alone there's like a diagram there's
a puppet show there's like bart turning on the stove he makes it clear like i told him four
different after trying to explain to him four different ways how it is i then told mom once and we then left great great tiny joke to the
simpsons mobile yeah and with the explosion out backfiring yes i love how dumb homer is but he
immediately becomes heroic like let's go we're doing it and then of course the series second
ever psycho reference of the turning of the chair back around. You were having such a lovely evening
and then I went and spoiled
it all by doing something stupid
like explode you.
Sideshow Bob,
I'm afraid the only victims here are the good people
at Best Western Hotels.
Again, their honeymoon is at a Best Western.
It's completely visual, but we totally
missed Selma
pulling the cigarette out, pulling the match
up in the air, every amazing shot
of her just striking the match and nearly
like, yeah. If you want to talk about that. And Bart
running in and grabbing her hands. Yeah, that kind of stuff
the Simpsons won't do today.
I never mentioned it, but I cut
it out during the sound effects, but
Homer showing how he would cut
a person who put him in jail over
and over in front of Bart's eyes.
It's the kind of thing that the modern Simpsons lacks.
It's a very, very nice visual joke.
Those little touches, yeah.
And also I did love when he says,
Do you got room in your prison for a two-time loser?
Well, no, frankly, but they never stopped this before.
It's so great.
Lots of wonderful veiled jokes at the prison system,
including, of course, the last one, which I love the most.
I'll be back.
You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever.
And when they get in, I'm back on the streets with all my criminal buddies.
So Cape Fear would air in the fall of 1993 when Bill Clinton was in the office.
So he did get out of prison once the Democrats were there.
He wouldn't meet Birch Barlow until way after this?
Oh, yeah.
That'd be going to take us another year to get to Birch Barlow?
And also this Bob episode.
Too much blood on the knob.
This Bob episode ends with a fun callback to Krusty Gets Busted.
So when Bart saves Krusty Gets Busted. So when Bart saves
Krusty, they say
like, oh, we're sorry, Krusty, it'll never happen again.
They says, well, there was one
little boy who never lost faith in me.
Thank you, Bart.
Marge ends this one with, Bob
fooled everybody, but there was one little
boy who never lost his sense of
distrust. I love that line.
You're right, that's an excellent callback. And we did miss
how they still had the room explode, but it was because
of Wiggum. Oh, right. The gas.
Like, he throws a match behind him.
Why did the room explode? The reason
why we don't have clips of that is because,
to this episode's credit, it's
visually great, especially
during these sequences. It is a gorgeous
episode. And by the way, I was
just at Comic-Con, and I was told I might get to interview David Silverman. It is a gorgeous episode. And by the way, I was just at Comic-Con
and I was told
I might get to interview
David Silverman.
It fell through,
but I so wanted to talk to him.
I would have a billion questions.
I would annoy the hell out of him.
I know.
There's one cut scene.
This episode was supposed
to end with Patty and Selma together.
Patty asks Selma,
so how was it?
And Selma says,
it would have been worth it
even if he had blown me to bits.
So that leads me to believe
that she did lose her virginity on that honeymoon.
Please, please.
I'm a Selma virginity truther, as we talked about our other trutherness on other episodes.
One of my favorite lines, I forgot to get it, was like, you tried to kill me.
I want a separation.
And the shudder after having sex.
That is the one theyused for the rakes.
Or they just told him to do it again.
But it is so perfectly the same shutter that I think they just reused.
I think on the commentary they just said they pulled that,
and that's what you hear 20 times.
When will it get to?
In six months, I guess.
Six months, yeah.
Oh, God.
But, I mean, this was a great return of Bob,
the start of the bob series of episodes
yeah i think is it might be at an even tender 12 at this point i cashed out around 17 18 oh really
cousin merle i i mean i did i did watch the one the italian bob which was kind of fun that's the
last one i saw i believe bart was being being in a coffin about to be burned alive.
The last one I saw, if we're talking Sideshow Bob, is the Universal Studios ride where he's the main villain.
It's absolutely wonderful.
No, here he's here, but you get Sideshow Bob.
I still need to ride that.
It does make sense.
Sideshow Bob sabotaging things in Krusty Land.
That's the perfect way to set up.
It's the perfect way to set up a,
oh, the ride's gone wrong thing
that happens in every ride.
And I feel like the writers love Bob
because he's like another Burns.
Like, let's write flowery dialogue
for this, like, stuck up character.
Let's use all those Harvard words
we never get to use.
You'll love the ride, Bob.
Every character is all CG.
Really? All CG? I don't
want to ride it anymore. It's a great, it's honestly
great ride. You'll love it. I mean, you'll also
just love being around Springfield. Especially if you're a
nerd because they hollowed out and
scooped out the guts of
Back to the Future ride. But get
Christopher Lloyd to reprise his role as
Doc Brown. Really? Yeah.
It's something that I will not go off on this,
but every time Disney gets rid of a beloved ride,
they leave a mark or a piece of it behind.
For example, I love Country Bears,
and you go to Disneyland,
and it's replaced by Winnie the Pooh ride.
If you turn around immediately when you go on the ride,
you can see the old robot heads.
Oh, wow.
You go into Winnie the Pooh in Disney World.
You see something that looks like a knot in the wood, and it's the shape of the Nautilus that used to be there.
And Universal hadn't done that because it just scraped the world of their rides.
Well, they lose the rights.
Yeah, they lose the rights.
But Christopher Lloyd is there, and it's a bummer to see Back to the Future ride go.
But it is a two-and-a two and a half minute ride and it's on
the DVD the blu-ray and DVD and I did
ride that one at least while it was still on
it's a ride that no longer
exists anywhere until last
until a few months ago it was in Osaka
but they that is closed not
not true I actually met one of the guys who worked
on the the ride
buddy Dave
he like the ride is built,
you know this,
like,
stupid little carnival,
it looks like a piece
of a monorail
that's on a rod
that can be lifted
and a TV screen.
It's like a mechanical bull
with a car on top of it.
he said,
like,
it was tragic
because they destroyed
every DeLorean
because,
like,
a collector market
can't exist
in a capitalist economy,
like,
if you can't make the money
off of it,
so you destroy these things.
But they could port that to any park in the world.
Yeah, so they can do that.
Yeah, but I mean, the ride with the DeLorean and the Institute around it.
With a 30-minute Biff and Doc Brown lead-up.
Yeah, all that stuff's gone.
And I would complain more if the Simpsons area wasn't so cool.
That looks great.
And I've never been to the Florida one, and I haven't been to the revamped one in Hollywood.
But it was still pretty great.
Why don't the three of us just plan a trip together to Universal?
I'm totally down.
We can do a podcast there.
Yeah, we can record a little bit of a video.
Yeah.
I mean, the Springfield of Orlando is so lovely.
Yeah, if I can just say that.
Videos look awesome.
I do
believe part part of why the back of the
future ride was fun for me as a as a
young lad was that there's a 30 the ride
it's the videos on the DVD the the the
ride it is two and a half minutes stuff
but the Doc Brown lead up in the line
cue stuff is original footage with Tom
Wilson and Christopher Lloyd and it's
great and it's on the DVD too but it's also if you've seen the line.
So what you've seen in the line,
like no matter how long the Simpsons ride line is,
it's just Simpsons clips.
It's robot chicken style Simpsons clips
of every time they've been to a theme park fair
or any kind of public event.
When you're in the Quickie Mart,
they're showing only clips from Quickie Mart.
I want that in every line.
When you're in the restaurants,
they're showing clips from restaurants. And they I want that in every line. When you're in the restaurants, they're showing clips
from restaurants.
And they clearly,
like, I bet for licensing reasons,
they're like,
you only get up to season 10,
but that's only what I want anyway.
It's only what anyone wants.
And I've only been recently
able to confirm
because I went there twice
because, let's say,
Universal, it ain't Disney.
I call it the island of misfit IP.
None of it is related to one another.
Can I go on the backdraft ride still? Yeah. it is related to one another. Backdraft rights.
Yeah.
There's a water world show still at Universal's Hollywood.
Insane.
The Blues Brothers will come out and greet you in front of Shrek land in front of Curious George.
A bunch of stuff like it's impossible to like.
Nobody.
Mystery machine.
Nobody likes all this.
But what we saw the first time we went there is like there's that tchotchke of the customized license plates with your name on it.
And, of course, there's a Bort.
And every time I went, it was empty.
And I thought that was just part of the joke.
And it took like a year.
Like, oh, you can actually buy Bort license plates there.
But they sell out within moments.
Moments of being put out, people buy the Bort license plates. I've seen they just never make them as part of the joke.
Everything with a customized name has a Bort. I was very lucky
to get a Bort. Oh, wow. You have a Bort?
Damn. That was beautiful.
But anyway. Yes, thanks so much for joining us, people. That was
Black Widower, one of the greatest episodes of Season 3,
I think. I've been Bob Mackie, your host.
You can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo.
I also host the Classic Gaming Podcast, Retronauts.
You can find that at usgamer.net or retronauts.com
every Monday, and I also write for somethingawful.com
every other Thursday, so check that stuff usgamer.net or retronauts.com every Monday. And I also write for somethingawful.com every other Thursday.
So check that stuff out over there.
Wow!
Bob Mackie!
Oh, my God.
It's been literal tens of episodes since I've heard that.
I need that every episode, Chris.
Please, cue it up.
Chris Antiste.
I'm Cantiste on Twitter.
I don't think I've said anything in weeks.
But I do say a lot of stuff on podcasts like Laser Time where we usually pick a pop culture topic. Run with that on 302010, which is a wonderful little portal into that week in history 30 years ago, 20 years ago, and 10 years ago.
We talk about a lot of 9-11 talk in a recent episode.
It's very strange.
And you wouldn't think so.
Yeah, wait a minute.
Yeah, find out why.
In two episodes in a row, I will say, Brett and I, one of our personal favorite movies, we didn't realize were released a week apart.
Oh, wow.
And we talked in a very long fashion about them and even wrote about them on LasertimePodcast.com where you can find all the shows and this one grouped together with any pertinent links and all that stuff.
And I'm H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on Twitter.
You can follow me there.
And I write for fandom.wikia.com.
That is my job.
But I still am part of the Lazer Time family on this stuff.
And I appear on other podcasts here and there.
But you should really know that this podcast is brought to you by patreon.com slash Lazer Time,
in case we haven't mentioned it before.
You made it happen.
And so everybody there who made it happen has exclusive access to the first season of Talking Simpsons.
Thirteen episodes are there waiting for you.
Just for $5 a month, though.
For $10 a month, you get access to more stuff.
Why did you say let Blacksmithers be your guide?
Blacksmithers is your guide.
Yeah, dig a little bit to find them now.
I can link to an article with them all.
Oh, cool.
We might have to do another one of those
because even now that one's probably like
a dozen deep into our posts.
But anyway, yeah, that support makes this all worthwhile,
and every dollar counts.
So thank you very much for all that.
I definitely ran into some Lazer Time fans at Comic-Con.
Oh, cool.
So thanks, everybody.
We love doing it.
Cool.
Thanks for joining us.
We'll be back next week when Bart goes to see Spinal Tap.
Later. wow infotainment