Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Boy Scoutz 'N The Hood

Episode Date: April 5, 2017

Bart joins the Junior Campers after a sugar rush, which somehow strands Homer, Flanders, Bart, and Rodd in the middle of the ocean. We deconstruct all that as well as knife safety and how to buy peanuts in this week’s…

this episode of talking simpsons is brought to you by bomba socks and you listeners can go to get bombas.com slash laser time to get 20 off your first order i heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, hoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, where $20 can buy many peanuts. I'm your host, Bob Mackie, and I've achieved the rank of Pussy Willow, and this is the Laser Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Who else is here with me today, as always? Hey, Henry. Gilbert here. And I love your pixie drink.

And who else? Chris, the missing joystick in T-Steps. And today's episode is, I'll say this in the whitest way possible, Boy Scouts in the hood. In the hood? Oh, great, great read, great animation. This episode aired on

November 18th, 1993. Chris will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real life history. Dear Christ, Bobby! It's been only three months and David Letterman's late show is beating newcomer Jay Leno. Oh, until Hugh Grantgate. Pepsi announces it's dropping Michael Jackson as its spokesperson for reasons we may never know. And Dr. David Bruce Banner, Bill Bixby, is dead. I think it was they lit him on fire too many times,

and they just had to say no more. They lit him on fire with metaphorical child molestation allegations. And real fire. When Bill Bixby passed away, I didn't even know him as the Hulk because that wasn't rerunning when I was that age but I did know him for being like a co-creator or director on Blossom and Blossom honored him

quite a lot I watched a horrible amount of Blossom growing up it's on after Fresh Prince which I don't regret no it was a good thing after it became a joke of the very special episode of Blossom. And now Mayim Bialik is super-duper rich being on Big Bang Theory and having sex with Sheldon, a gay man.

And boy, even when Big Bang Theory ends, we'll soon have young Sheldon to spit off. Oh, thank God. And I want to say, the target of a very, very mean joke on Arista Developments. That's my... Yeah. That's true. Oh, that Blossom

really bloomed up, didn't she? Poor Miami Alec. Hey, but she's a lovely lady. She's great. She can buy and sell Jeffrey Tambor now.

I'll never forgive her for the stupid hat she inspired my sister to buy. Oh, my sister too. Yeah. I mean, basically a character in the goofy movie is blossom oh wait that's six though right um oh wait no that was six is half jenna von oi

oh yeah jenna von oi i don't know why i know what a great uh but enough about blossom this is this is a very special episode of the simpsons this is one of my all-time favorites i love it's really fun it's a great wacky captain wacky episode i I think. Though, Homer is so awful and so mean. We're getting really mean now. Were these the last episode written by the same person? No, that was George Meyer. This is Dan McGrath. And I don't hate it.

I just think they're embracing the outlandishness of a cartoon in a way I don't think the other seasons did. Yeah, well, Homer's mostly friendly in the last one we watched, but in this one he is just so cruel to Bart and the stupidest he's ever been. It's why I don't like jerk-ass, invincible Homer arguments, because this is already happening in the seasons you like. I mean, Act 3 is the most outlandish, craziest thing I think that's happened. It's similar to Call of the Simpsons where they're stranded, but I think Homer is even stupider.

I mean, he is much stupider here. If The Simpsons is still grounded, something happens in here that's terrible. Yeah, oh yes. But we start out with something that was very real in 1993. Arcades still existed. The arcade

game they're playing is My Dinner with Andre the Game. Martin is playing. my dinner with Andre the game Martin is Martin is playing and then what's the other me more the other game is Panamanian strongman but first I want to say my dinner with Andre of

course I mean I feel like it was sort of a deep cut back then but it was kind of the go-to pretentious movie but I'm sure it's a fine movie it's so pretentious it was released by New Yorker films by the

way I mean if you starring Wallace Shawn inconceivable! Yes. It's worth watching this for that, but it is a filmed conversation. Yeah, watch the community parody. It's directed by Louis Moll

of Candace Bergen's late husband. Oh, really? Okay. It's sort of like rope in that there's just one set but there's no murder or Jimmy Stewart. And it inspired a film parody by Andy Kaufman called

My Breakfast with Blassie. It was him with 50s pro wrestler Classy, Freddie Blassie. Who wrote the novelty song Pencil Neck Geek, which I love, but it's about me. He did. You are that Pencil Neck Geek. I was just going to compliment your neck, by the way.

He wants to eliminate all the Pencil Neck Geeks and amass genocide. He says in the song, he won't rest until every last pencil neck geek bites the dust. But he's dead now, okay? But the game Bart was playing is Panamanian Strongman. And it is based on the life of Manuel Noriega, the military dictator of Panama. Famous drug lord, he ruled the country from 1983 to 1989. Famously taken out by George H.W. Bush.

Not in person, mind you, but with the army. The thing is, Noriega had ties to the CIA, which is something that Dukakis brought up when he was running against Bush in 1988. They're in bed together or whatever. They're working with these dictators. I mean, Bush only ran the CIA at one point, so I don't know why that would matter. I don't know, Panama. I will point all of our listeners to a great song called Kitty History, which will tell you all about

the real history of America told by kitties. But, yes, this is all about the downfall of Manuel Noriega and George H.W. Bush. What's that? As more of like a King Kong style game, it looks like. It feels like you are Manuel Noriega.

That was the dumb reference. I was just grasping for it. But like Bart is using his two hands to play. And it's very clear someone forgot to draw the joysticks. Oh, yeah. His hands. He's just doing he's manning tank invisible tank controls. But at the end of this game, George Bush comes out and says winners don't use drugs, which is what you would see as the splash screen on a lot of arcade games. It was actually William S. Sessions, the FBI director, I think, at the time.

Not that Sessions. Not the other racist Jeff Sessions. This is the one. I feel like he faced some scandal. I didn't write it down. But if you went to an arcade in the early 90s, you would see this blue screen because apparently all the drug users were at arcades. I mean, just misunderstanding of what drugs are and who uses them. This reference is technically really dated.

...for a way to name the unnameable, to express the inexpressible. Tell me more. People, Susan, be in the game, but not of the game. Winners don't use drugs. Picking his corpse. I feel like it's really pointing out what a wimp he was, but sort of like standing behind these big achievements other people made. And this happened in 89, so this is a sort of dated reference.

Well, just the overall arcade thing. They have that whole sequence of being kicked out of the arcade for not having any money. An arcade will campaign for you to just hang around now. Yeah, they don't actually do that. Just like the store Wee Monceur. They have monitoring all of the customers. I think there's a time when they might have, when the arcades are too packed. It's just a place where teens hang out.

Perhaps, but I figured it was always just a hang zone. So if you didn't have money... I mean, it's a funny bit to say, like, if you say it out loud... All I have to go on is Tron and the one scene with Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I have no idea what the arcades looked like in its heyday, but they do sound like that. Yeah, well, I mean, we're all video game writers. I still am. Don't you fucking pigeonhole me with that.

And so, definitely, you look at this then as like well games looked arcade games look better than this in 93 like virtual fighter the original one was out the polygons weren't really a thing but they really captured the stilted voice samples of this era no yes way no that's true but it would be a couple more years before they would mock mortal combat which was the real hot game in 1993 yeah in and street fighter yep oh but oh we have to get the peanut stuff uh well bart is away homer may play uh finally a little quiet time to read some of my old favorites honey roasted peanuts ingredients Ingredients. Salt.

Artificial honey roasting agents. Pressed peanut sweepings. I just love it. Pressed peanut sweepings. Some peanuts are just peanut parts smashed together. And strangely enough, on the first Simpsons CD songs in the key of Springfield, there were some just isolated sketches where they would just pull audio from episodes that weren't songs. This was one of them.

So apparently somebody liked this bit a lot. I mean, I do love how he just wants sweeping so much. It's so delicious to him. I also, I just love the repeating of steak. Money's too tight for steak. Steak? Steak? Okay.

I think if you got an animated gif of Homer missing the throw of one peanut into his mouth, I could watch that on a gif loop over and over again. I mean, this whole sequence is the dumbest he's ever been. It's really dumb. But it's my favorite. I love how he slips on the last peanut he's been looking for.

It's so greasy and dripping in peanut slime. I want to give this line of the show, but I don't know that I should. Let's do it. Okay. We'll get out of the way. That's the joke. Ow! Poitie!

You slimy. Oh, moving. Uh-huh. Aw, $20. I wanted a peanut. $20 can buy many peanuts. Explain how. Money can be exchanged for goods and services

so right off the bat telling us how stupid homer is in this episode it's going to pay off in spades later it's only the scene is only there to like have a a miracle 20 show up right which eventually makes its way to barton millhouse which would be like if i'm judging by uh the video game uh bart's nightmare now the fucking open world gta game hit and run that would have been uh Barton Millhouse. Which would be, like, judging by the video game. Bart's Nightmare? No, the fucking open world GTA game. Hit and run. That would have been several city blocks. That's true.

In order to get to all the way to the freaky part. Noiseland Arcade. And, though, Homer, I like the observation of reaching under your couch and not knowing what you're touching when you're looking for something specifically. There could always be a spider under there. You never know. I like that nightmare to it. But yeah, when you're a kid, $20 can feel like it's endless. Or at least in 1993, $20 fell down.

I did write that down. $20 went a long way. I remember getting money for Christmas and being like... We do sound like old, old men now. Like, $20 used to be so much money. But just having a 20 as a, I don't know, 10-year-old, you felt invincible. I can buy almost anything I want except for a video game, which are still $40 or $50. Or the biggest Optimus Prime.

I can't buy that. I remember I'd get a $5 a week allowance, be dropped off in an arcade, and I'll stay here the whole day. I'll be fine. It's a beautiful thing to get handed a 20 in the arcade. But I never bought an all-syrup, icy, squishy, slushy, whatever. Hello, gents. What will it be? Ah, Pooh, give us a super squishy. One that's made entirely out of syrup.

Entirely out... An all-syrup super squishy? What's such a thing? never been done just make it happen love the plunking the 20 on the counter yeah and then uh so i used to i never made slushies but at the movie theater i worked at i did serve icies let me tell you you don't actually want an all syrup one like that syrup's not good you you want it cold with water you don't actually want an all syrup one like that syrup's not good you you want it cold with water you don't just want the syrup and it wouldn't taste great and also one of my most like unintentionally physical comedy i ever did was we had in the second farther in the back of the

theater concession stand they had an icy machine there that was leaking and we but we still used it and sometimes we'd be like we're not serving ices but i'm running no no no turn on the icy it would leak it was perfect of me being a dweeb of i am running it by myself because someone's on break and these guys these like dudes in their 20s come up jocular dudes just like hey one icy i was like okay i'll get you one i'm well and i slip and fall on my butt i have to ask my manager then i get up and slip again i was like oh my god i'm this is a cartoon moment really i mean they said why would you order an icy for a movie is it gonna make it through the trailers i don't think so none of them

do you eat all of it before the trailers like that's the real secret of movie honestly movie theaters are a scam in that they're an expensive restaurant of shitty food yeah that's what all the great hollywood films for some reason yes and uh but it was a nice little murkiny murkin's a big fan of star trek and so the it won't all she's breaking up like Like, Apu became Scotty in that moment. She survived. Come again. And Milhouse getting, as a kid, I could totally identify with that straw getting stuck in your throat. Throat, yeah.

Because a McDonald's shake would not get through there. Or same with a crusty, partially gelatinated, gum-based, non-dairy beverage that was a good pull henry thank you and this was also the first time we ever saw millhouse without his glasses when they flew off after that tiny weird eyes yes yeah his beautiful eyes as his mother would say he's got insane pupils during the the song sequence by the way. And the sugar high then lets them do a drug trip. It's another of those sneaky drug trips they can put in a show. I gave the SpongeBob movie a ton of credit because the opening sequence is just them getting hammered on ice cream. Yes.

To where they grow stubble and slur and bubbles pop out of their mouths. But this did it first. They have a squishy hangover. They get hammered, do things that they normally wouldn't. They get blackout squishy drunk and do things. Though I would say they're more tripping. It's a bit, yeah. I feel like it's a mix of an old Hollywood movie drinking bender

where you see these signs floating by. That's true. But it's also a psychedelic drug trip. You don't wake up with a headache from acid. But it's also going crazy Broadway style. Yeah. I was going to save it for a break, but... What do we do?

Let's go crazy Broadway style! Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town. The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down. Straight on slow to the animal pound. Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield. Springfield, Springfield. New York. New York is that-a-way, Dan.

Thanks, kid. Wait, I got it. Thanks, kid. So where does this song come from, Henry? I'm sure you know. Oh, I got it. I mean, it is New York, New York from the musical and film On the Town. Oh.

I have a link to it right here, but let me explain it real quick. So On the Town first was a Broadway musical, but then adapted by Gene Kelly and directed by him. And it is about three sailors who. Very relatable. Who come into New York and are ready for it. They're like, we got the night off in New York City. Gonna have crazy fun. And they go on some very important adventures of love and learning

and who knows what the future holds for them. But it is Gene Kelly and Frank Sinatra in the leads here. And it's amazing. And the very opening of On the Town is them arriving in their sailor costumes as seen by the guy who says new york new york yeah and then they sing about how awesome new york is and how much fun they're gonna have there it is the opening and they reprise it at the end of the musical but it was on broadway during the war in a movie in 49 so the the plot of the movie is based

on the war itself right i mean these are men in the navy for war and i want to say not longshoremen they're not like working shoremen this is not judgmental but watching this in these three men in pajamas dancing around new york it seems it all seems very gay to me what are you looking for women oh what a breakthrough But here, look, you can see just of old what New York looked like back then. It's really beautiful. I love, because New York is like one of, well, San Francisco too, but there's so many more movies shot all over New York. Almost every movie shot in San Francisco where we are right now,

they don't shoot here. They shoot like two scenes here and then go somewhere else. Too expensive. Yeah, I mean, that's what Big Trouble in Little China did. Yeah. They filmed about four minutes

of Little China Town. Driving to the alley and then back to LA. And fans of The Critic will know they parodied the song in The Critic as well directly. They just replaced the lyrics with New York, New York, it's a terrible town, the sky is brown and the water is brown.

So both of those things led me to believe this is a much more popular musical than it is. Or maybe it was much more popular in the 90s. I don't think so. I think it was a popular song. But more people are into New York, New York, the Liza Minnelli song, not

Frank Sinatra. It's Liza Minnelli. But the... I think that kind of replaced it as the New York, New York one. It's a lot more brassier and fun. But yeah, the critic, it's weird that the critic like stepped on this Simpsons joke. It was a season two critic one. So it was removed by a year from this. That means that they had a year to know better, to not do the same thing. They did.

But it was, I mean, the show set in New York, theic is, so of course they were going to do that joke eventually. Yeah. Like Futurama, it was a bunch of people in L.A. writing jokes about New York. And it was New York, New York, it's a terrible town. And then the bridge collapses. Yeah, which is what happens in the opening of The Critic, right? Yeah. And then the second season opening.

Yeah, I think so. But it was, but yeah, I love that song. Do you want to hear the rest of it as we go into break? Sure. Let's go crazy Broadway style! Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town. The schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down. The stray dogs go to the animal pound.

Springfield, Springfield, Springfield, Springfield. New York, New York. New York is New York. New York is that-a-way, man. Thanks, kid. It's a hell of a town. The Sentence will be right back. How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner and greener.

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off your first order. You like Lasertime shows? Then you might like Bonus Time, Lasertime's weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash laser time here's a taste of what you've been missing it was pretty badical my friend she's like does anybody want any weed and like and she just takes up this bag and it's the size of like my teenage mutant ninja turtle pencil bag from fifth grade and it just says on it in giant

letters medical marijuana and i just said hey what in giant letters medical marijuana, and I just said hey, what's in there? Medical marijuana in all capital letters. That would get you free. Here's my medical cocaine bag. Why wouldn't you want to just put nothing on it? Or like flour.

A scene from a beach. Anything that would disguise it. Something with Lisa Frank fucking a unicorn. Was it clear so you could see the marijuana? No, it was gray with a giant pot leaf and

medical marijuana. The drug equivalent of those money bags. Yeah, because I've gone to two different dispensaries. Nobody gave me a giant bag.

That's like going to the bank and like, I'd like to make a withdrawal. Here's your burlap sack with a dollar sign on it. Yeah, and I'm going

to walk around town. Get bonus time laser times weekly full-length uncensored and ad-free patreon exclusive podcasts as well as weekly full-length movie commentaries wrestling and cartoon video commentaries physical rewards the first season of talking simpson and more at patreon.com slash laser time starting at just five bucks you'll help us live and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. So then they go see Cats, which is not a bad show. Like, it's fine. I have seen two Broadway shows, and one of them is Cats.

The other one, Spider-Man Turn Off the Dark. Wow. I think this and My Dinner with Andre are the go-to jokes about lame entertainment. Yes, yeah. Well, My Dinner with Andre is great. What's that? My Dinner with Andre is great. It's fucking free on YouTube, but you care. Oh, yeah, yeah, it's a funny joke. My Dinner with Andre is great. What's that? My Dinner with Andre is great. It's fucking free on YouTube.

Oh, yeah, yeah. It's good. But I mean, this is just kind of the go-to thing for an easy joke about a bad musical, I think. Well, it would just never go away. I think it just became banal or just mediocre. It was just like, oh, this Broadway show, it's been showing forever. Everybody goes to it, and it's just a bunch of dumb cats singing about how they want to become the Jellicle cat who lives forever. Everybody goes to it and it's just a bunch of dumb cats singing about how

they want to become the Jellicle cat who lives forever. Having just got back from the opening of Hamilton. Oh, yes. As the

stereotypical musical expert here. When I saw Cats and I was not interested, didn't want to go. My sister's a big musical person. I'm like,

if you're a fan of this genre, you'll watch anything. Like, is this someone like, what if it's about cats? What kind of cats? We'll make it up as we go. It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. And that gave me the perception of musicals, which was that. You'll eat anything up until Shrek the musical. You'll literally watch anything that says it's a musical. I will not see the Matilda musical. It's not faithful to the book at all. I don't want to make that judgment on fans of musicals,

but that's what the people who made Shrek the musical thought. You will watch anything with a song and dance number on a stage. And they were like, nope, that was the bridge too far. Nobody went to pay for Shrek. They went too far. And then they have Toothless Joe Candy, which is, it is Gummy Joe. They drew the character of Gummy Joe from Last Exit to Springfield. He became famous in the interim.

And sold his own candy based on his likeness. But this is the big part. Jesus, how far are we into the episode? Bart ends up joining not the Boy Scouts. In fact, I love that the episode does make reference to not affiliated with the Boy Scouts. The title has the word Boy Scouts in it with a Z. It really does. Yeah.

The remorse of the sugar junkie. Oh, I don't remember anything. Really? Not even this? Oh, no. I must have joined the junior campers. You, the proud, the geeky. Boy, even Lisa is scoring points off of him.

I like that she has that satisfaction. I think that's more of like an older roommate thing of just like, oh, you were drunk and you don't remember what you did. I can't wait to reveal it to you. I do like Lisa being petty, though. I feel like it undermines her know-it-all goody-goody attitude. This blows my mind. I didn't know the Boy Scouts was geeky at all.

Yeah, it wasn't cool. A cool kid wasn't in the Boy Scouts. My dad did. He put me in the secular equivalent Indian guides, where instead of merit badges, you gain feathers or bear claws. You pray over fires and do Indian things

and you don't talk about God. Are Boy Scouts God related? Yeah. Yeah. Hyper Christian. Yeah. Yeah. Like super homophobic,

hyper Christian, even like these shuffling around molesters. I could go on. The Boy Scouts are not a great organization. I think in defense of the Boy Scouts,

I think they have made moves to improve in the last few years. In recent times. I suppose. But I got to the end of Indian Guides and my friend's like, you should join the Boy Scouts. And I'm just like, that's in movies. I'll join the Boy Scouts. It was one of the most

miserable experiences of my life. So the GoBots version of the Boy Scouts is better is what you're saying. Yeah. To make that long story short, I was a nobody in high school. Kind of a guy who played sports and played video games and didn't really have a lot of friends. The people I played sports with, who I didn't hang out with, would beat up these guys I didn't know were in the Boy Scouts. I joined the Boy Scouts, and I became a target for all of the Boys.

I was the guy beat up like the nerds were really mean to. Pulled one giant prank on them, got kicked out of the boys i was the guy beat up like like the nerds were really mean to pulled one giant prank on them got kicked out of the boy scouts i uh i just i dug holes outside of all their tents uh put pine cones in it and then peed on their stuff um and for some reason the boy scouts kicked me they were really mean to me yeah i you know i i was really into the boy scouts but i didn't become one because i think i just didn't want to be in a group of people who I didn't know. I had a lot of anxiety over that. But I remember at the library at my school, to kill time, I think I also got into it because there weren't comic books there. But what were there were magazines that had comics in them, including Boys Life that had the Wee Below comic in it and other comic strips in it so i

just would go through like they were one page comics i was like all right read that one let's go back a month all right i i i feel a thousand years old i bought i would buy things out of the boys the boys life back catalog holy shit two geckos for twenty dollars i'll buy in like i i never purchased one thing that my check didn't get returned that guy goes our dead kid sorry the print lead time we know it now and i had a friend who did become an eagle scout though and he yeah and i'm impressed by it i would always goof on him that he was like you know else is an eagle scout michael moore because he uh because my friend was an extreme high school and then college Republican, who then joined the Navy, actually, to bring this all around here.

The next rank is Green Beret, so just keep working at it, guys. But then he would joke. Eventually, he realized, like, you're saying this to get my goat, so I'll just one-up you. And he would say, like, yeah, Marilyn Manson was an Eagle Scout, too. I get it. You're making fun of me. I'm still an Eagle one-up you. And he would say, yeah, Marilyn Manson was an Eagle Scout too. Well, I get it. You're making fun of me. I'm still an Eagle Scout. Fuck you.

I was like, all right. Guess I lost that jockish mockery with you here. Eagle Scouts. You have to be an adult to be an Eagle Scout. It's hard to be an Eagle Scout. It is not easy. And it's a thing you put on college applications. That's what it's for.

And they won't read it. But Bart needs to get out of it. I love this line. I wandered into a junior camper recruitment center, but what's done is done. I've made my bed, and now I've got to weasel out of it. I know you think the junior campers are square and uncool, but they also do a lot of neat things like sing-alongs and flag ceremonies. Oh, I love words.

Don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel. Marge thinks flag ceremonies are cool. I love that. I love that. It's Marge trying to be positive, but I think being honest that she thinks flag ceremonies are cool.

And not to get too inside Christopher again I hated school especially at Bart's age if you haven't heard the previous shows I sort of was Bart any excuse to get into school I didn't like going to gymnastics until I found out for some reason you could get out of class early so I would rush to the

bathroom to put on my unit hard which again is one tard Chris don't say that it is a single tard I would put on dude a skin-tight bodysuit outfit that went underneath my crotch the women would wear their crotch over the shorts and the boys were their shorts over the crotch it was the same outfit and I would go get dressed in

that every day, just like, let me out of here, let me out of here. So I really relate to this sequence. Something Bart was completely embarrassed by, ready to weasel out of, like, oh, shit, get out of school free, I'm down. Take out a sheet of paper, books under your desks. Well, I'm supposed to, I've got to, I'm supposed to.

Oh, Warren, I nearly forgot. All junior campers are excused to attend their patrol meeting. Um, Mrs. Krabappel, I'd love to... Oh, Warren, I nearly forgot. All junior campers are excused to attend their patrol meeting. Um, Mrs. Krabappel, I'd love to stay, but this uniform carries certain responsibilities. Hey, look, Sergeant Dork! Ha ha! Enjoy your test. Ha ha! Ha!

I like Warren. I think he gets a hard deal. I want Tom to adopt him from... Brother from another... Yeah, yeah. Phil Hartman. Tom should adopt him. hard deal. I want Tom to adopt him from Brother from Another World. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Phil Hartman. Tom should adopt him.

He should. He could live with Pepe. And you did. We missed the bullies. Bullying Bart into being bullied. I just love that Bart won't play keep away. So then they're just like, hey, we will just beat the shit out of you. If you don't play, keep ways like, okay,

pretend to care, pretend to care. And the casting of Ned as the, as the run, as the man running junior campers, perfect casting. And it, it's not just that it is perfect that he would be the guy doing this,

but also it sets him on a course of conflict with homer later yeah it's great planning this is the kind of clean storytelling that the previous episode was missing good dad versus bad dad and then we learn what happens with uh millhouse on his swishy bender he gets a bad word shaped at the back of his hair and we get a another toupee joke from skinner where he says hair is not a right it it's a privilege. Whoa, I didn't realize that. I didn't put that together. Again, they dance around the toupee, but it's there. Follow the money.

Way to go, Bob. And then they're going to clean Jasper. Oh, God. Well, it's Bart Simpson. Come on in. You're just in time for Sponge Bath the Old Folks Day. Help yourself. Stay above the equator.

Yeah, so the Boy Scouts, there were stuff like this that you were fucking required to do. And the thing I ended up doing was selling Christmas trees for free at the Methodist church. Literally like free labor. That was my job as a Boy Scout. A bit like slavery. Yeah, when I say fuck the Boy Scouts. It's for a reason. Boy Scouts are a lie. They're just to get free labor out of young bodies.

Boo. But at least that's helping. You were selling shit. That's also bullshit. You weren't even helping people. I got to do it in the rich part of town. Sold a Christmas tree to Florida State University head coach Bob Bowden. Whoa.

Children's show host Miss Jan. Wow. Without Tony O. Put it in their car, tied it up and everything. That's show host Miss Jan. Wow. Without Tony O. So put it in their car, tied it up and everything. That's amazing. Did you get any tip from that, Chris? You know what? I didn't even know for like the first four days no one got tipped. I was more excited that the Christmas trees got shipped down from Florida, lived there all my life.

There would still be snow in the Christmas trees. And it was the only time I ever saw snow. That it was still stuck in the trees on a truck. It's something I don't get. This is a little bit trees on a truck. It's something I don't get. This is a little bit of a tangent, but it's something I don't get with rich people. I just imagine if I was a multi-millionaire, why wouldn't

I just tip a 20 to everybody in every service thing I ever did? Wasn't it the Curb Your Enthusiasm Christmas episode? Get hundreds and like, this is going to be fun. I'm like, I've always wanted to do that. I would love to go around and give strangers hundreds. Exactly.

If I could afford it. And it's nothing to Larry David, like especially for him. Slackers, freeloaders. He'll be making money off of Seinfeld until he's dead. And the skeleton will still make millions. He has a continued income from that, just like Steve Bannon. And so he's going to, so he can just keep handing out money all the time. I just don't get that of, like, rich people just being cheap of, like –

and maybe I'm thinking of a specific rich person who's famously cheap. They earn that money. That's for their future generations to spread their DNA across the globe. If they gave that 20 – I like hearing those stories about that only came out after he died because he didn't want people to tell them george but of george michael being very generous of him the the one story i remember uh from it that came out after his death was that he was at a diner or a waitress was serving him he heard that she had a big debt like she had a big school debt of like thousands of dollars and dollars and he and he tipped her he just tipped her

30 000 the thousands of pounds for it uh but back to the show i like the kid who won't stop kissing bar or he's like should i keep doing it like that kid that didn't make me laugh uh and another spork joke uh we're back to the sport right. After Rich Hall invented the word in 1983. Yes. Spork joke. It was, because again, I was at the secular Boy Scouts, the Indian guides. I was allowed to use knives all I wanted. But you had to get your fireman's chip and your knife chip and earn your right to hold a knife. Furiating. Okay, now everybody take out your junior camper's pocket knives.

You guys get to play with knives? Oh, cool. A spark. Don't hurt me. Sorry, Bart. That's a nitty-no-no. You're not allowed to handle a pocket knife till you read this booklet on knife safety and pass a test. Well, who needs a cruddy knife anyway?

I think, I'm pretty sure I had a Swiss Arby knife on my keychain from when I was 12 until 9-11. And it was so useful. Yeah, yeah. It has a corkscrew and everything. And scissors. And scissors.

My dad bought, and I love telling that story. My dad basically is Ned Flanders. Huge fan of the outdoors. Volunteers for everything. Big mustache. Okay, we're good. But also carried survival knives on him. Not a survival guy.

He just loved camping and didn't unpack his bags and then we went to the white house one day and i got to see my father thrown against the wall by the secret service because he forgot he brought his knife into the white house he was just enjoying knives too much chris because my dad was like brock samson well i've heard your i've heard your dad is hairier than ned flanders oh dude baby gorilla he's the worst but so bart realizes he does want knives after a very like a hilarious sequence of the it's a very david murkini sequence of the obviousness of everyone enjoying knives i will say if you're an animation buff bart in the long and the wide shots is so off model here and the excuse being that he's in a Cub Scout uniform.

His proportions are all wrong, his eyes are all wrong, but it doesn't matter because he's dressed differently for the first time ever. That's true. This man's appendix is about to burst. Luckily, I have my trusty pocket knife. Stand back! Thank you, Dr. Hibbert Don't thank me Thank the knife

That might be my actual favorite line It's good I do like the They're flirting with the crocodile Dundee joke When Moe kicks Hans Mollman out of the bar For not using a coaster And he pulls a giant knife out of his cane And that was the second down I go since Marge and Chains.

I love that thing of you can't just fall down. You have to say down I go. And it was some very Merkiny cruelty of share this and just shoving Martin into the mud. And yeah, Bart just directly, they have that great sequence. And Bart just directly... They have that great sequence and then Bart just gets direct about it. Seems like everywhere I go,

people are enjoying Knives. After seeing five knife enjoyments. But Hipper had a pocket scalpel. Yes. And that man just buns up his shirt instead of like, I'm still bleeding everywhere. Are you going to stitch me up, Doctor?

He threw the fucking appendix like a grenade. The appendix exploding And that man just buns up his shirt instead of like, I'm still bleeding everywhere. You're going to stitch me up, doctor. But it was great. He threw the fucking appendix like a grenade. The appendix exploding made me laugh so much as a kid. I love that joke. I didn't understand it until now. And so then Bart decides he's going to stick with the junior campers. He reads the book. This should have been my line of the show. Homer finding Bart reading his book.

Oh, wait. What's the name of that book? Don't do what Donnie don't does. This is Homer so mean. Let's just hear it. Well, if it isn't the leader of the Wiener Patrol boning up on his nerd lessons. Homer, you should be more supportive.

You're right, Marge. Good work, boys. Egghead likes his bookie book! Homer! Just tucking him in. Just tucking him in. In sound, you can hear it like he waits for Marge to walk away. I can hear footsteps.

I think it's the middle of the day, too. Homer, he's just so mean. It actually kind of hurts me now. I don't know. As a son bullied by a dad who thought his son was a big nerd, and he was right, but fuck you. So it does kind of hurt me just that he's becoming the leader of the Weeder Patrol. My parents were quietly accepting of my nerdness.

They were thinking, he can make us money one day. And then I went into writing about video games. You encourage someone to follow a passion or a thing. Work doesn't seem like work because it's, yeah, you can just do anything if you're encouraged to follow your. Wow, am I giving parenting tips? I must have had too many beers. So Bart gets the rank of Pussy Willow and is allowed a rubber knife. But so here's the theory of mine when he, I think all the mouth movements are completely redone in the Pussy Willow rubber knife but so uh here's the theory of mine when he i think all the mouth

movements are completely redone in the pussy willow rubber knife thing i think the original plot was once bart gets his knife he's like cool i got a knife i quit and then leaves and then he gets kept in there but then i think they spiced it up with the pussy willow line and the rubber knife bit that is my theory i'll never get over wee blows why why would you call children that in an organization riddled with molestation scandals oh god i mean i thought it was a joke until i learned it was real it's very room wee below you you have to learn how to sew it onto your fucking clothes that's the thing that says wee blows the price you play yep and uh and then Bart gets, he starts getting hardcore into it

because he knows he can torture Homer with it. It's true, but this doesn't work that great in audio. But as someone at this point who had seen the two available animation documentaries ever, it's a really funny joke. The animation mistakes. The guys who wrote this show don't know squat. Itchy should have tied Scratchy's tongue with the taut line hitch, not a sheet bend.

Oh, Bart, cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic. Homer walks by the window, and he's already on the couch. It's so cool. It is great. I laughed at this, and it's kind of a follow-up to the cartoons don't have writers from the front. Though that joke is also what we do, of just correcting like, yeah, you couldn't do that. You got that wrong.

According to Google, a top-line knot is the best knot for tent stakes. Nobody did their research. Did no one in the commentary cop to being in the Boy Scouts? I promise one of the Simpsons writers was in the Boy Scouts. I'm sure they were. I think George Meyer was, I think. But I bet at least one of them was. I mean, this is a Dan McGrath episode.

I don't think he's on any commentaries. No, it's weird. I, for the first time ever, paused it and saw what the badges Bart got in TV trivia, embalming, and badge forgery. They're all fake. trivia embalming and badge forgery yeah so they're all they're all fake but embalming that's that's a badge forgery is great and then bart somehow digs a giant hole in the front area in their driveway he digs through the asphalt yeah it's it's impressive honestly okay so then i also love that bart imitating Ned speech that you can see. Bart has been really touched by Ned.

It's almost a foreshadowing of the plot line in the Simpsons movie of Bart liking Ned as a father figure more than Homer. You know it, Neddy. Oakley doakley. Now our annual father-son rafting trip is next weekend. Oh, no. We bring Homer on a rafting trip?'m the captain my son is born what an oaf how embarrassing that is not my father so bart's dream is not very far removed from what actually happens yeah is it is it an animation time saver that homer is wearing the same paper hat that he

made out of the map and wife peter shirt and the same shirt. Maybe they just weren't thinking in those terms. Like, oh, we have the model for Homer being on the raft. Let's just use that again. Yeah. It is pretty funny that it's exactly what Bart thinks will happen. It's not a drag-and-drop world. Like, someone just had to draw this. Right.

And then we've got our big guest, which, hey, we're playing this death jingle a lot these days, aren't we? He hung in there, though, man. Death stalks you at every turn. There it is, death. Ernest Borgnine died in 2012. Born in 1917, a long life. Into his 90s.

I love him. It's all thanks to masturbation. Pre-depression. Never stop masturbating. All right. It's a thing. Not now, Chris. I thought you guys had a problem with this. Oh, Warren, I know your dad is in prison, but don't you fret.

A special celebrity dad has been arranged for you. But my older brother would like to. Sorry, but I'm afraid Ernest Bortnine has already been confirmed. Hiya. I'm sure you kids know me best as Sergeant Fatso Jetson in From Here to Eternity. Fatso Jetson is available as a forum name on LazyTranPodcast.com. I know him best as Marty from the movie Marty about an ugly man finding a, I don't think she's ugly, but in the terms of the movie, a homely woman and falling in love. I think Borgnine has a certain character to his face.

I'm going to call him ugly even. But in the movie, it is like, this is an ugly guy. He's going to find love. And he won an Oscar for it. He won an Oscar early in his career and then just acted for another five decades. Marty is great, by the way. Please watch it. Kids would know Ernest Borgnine

for playing Mermaid Man on SpongeBob SquareP oh yeah didn't you say when you were trying to look for a youtube clip of him it was a bunch of millennial tribute videos to the only thing they ever knew ernest borgnine from mermaid man i couldn't just find a straight clip of scenes of ernest borgnine so it was just it was just he's like will you remember me over pictures of mermaid man he's playing mermaid man in his 80s he was so old playing yeah but he was great he played it for over 10 years he was amazing as mermaid man he was so great with tim conway backing him up what's a tim conway we'll get to that later

but my favorite ernest borgnine movie the marty is great is the wild bunch which is just one of my favorite films of all time uh here's a brief clip of him in it silver rings silver rings your butt them's washers damn all right that's he's always been that gruff yeah it's the god i love look at that look at that other member of the wild bunch i love the wild bunch so much because it's the, oh God, I love, look at that, look at that other member of the Wild Bunch. I love the Wild Bunch so much because it's like all the best Westerns, which is about the death of the West and how there's no room for them. And it ends with the most violent scene in American cinema history to that point, which is now nothing at all. But it's just such a great film about the Old West.

I love it. So it's like when you watch the end of Bonnie and Clyde and you yawn. It's more than that. Okay. It is more than that. Which I love Bonnie and Clyde. But again, it's like after 40, 50 years of movies, it's not that extreme anymore. And just the, you can see the preview for it right there.

It's the, there's no good audio in it but it's just when they decide the four cowboys decide well we could leave and save our lives or we could kill everybody in this mexican army and die together and there's just this amazing scene where borg nine looks at his friend and when they're just like now we're doing this till the death and then he just like gets a crazy look at his face like yeehaw yeah and i was i was trying to remember what i remembered ernest borg nine from it took me a second it is fucking basketball oh my god he's the rich owner on a hot dog he said he i love that bit in the beginning where he says he dreams of a day when baseball was basically indentured servants having to work for you and then people get paid too much now

in regular baseball. I really like that movie. Lots of ska in that movie. Oh, boy, howdy. Also, if you watched The Single Guy, he was the doorman. I did not. What I don't know is, was there some reason Ernest Borgnine is playing the character of the

eager scout master villain? It's very random. That's what I think it is. What's the most random celebrity that could come out? We are getting into random celebrities appearing in the world of Springfield. As ourselves. Though he's wearing his McHale's Navy hat, too, which I think is also maybe why they make the connection of this is River Rapids,

it's a guy on water in a boat, McHale's Navy. McHale! But they find a way to work him in conceivably he's sort of like a make-a-wish celebrity showing up to help a kid he's also great in merlin's magical shop of war right is that now on netflix it is and uh in nancy cartwright one last thing about borg nine in nancy cartwright's book she talks about freaking out that ernest borg nine was there because she loved Marty as a little girl. And just the second she saw him, she said, Marty!

And she loved it. Other, Hank Azaria, this is all from the wiki. I didn't see that, yeah. Hank Azaria said he thought Borgnine didn't do a very good job or didn't know. Or he's like, he did fine, but he didn't know what he was doing. He didn't know what The Simpsons was. He just knew his grandchildren liked it. His grandkids liked it. That's why I like his addition here.

Because the audience wasn't demanding Ernest Borgnine show up on The Simpsons. And Ernest Borgnine probably didn't send them an email. He's very out of place, but in a funny way. So it works, I think. I've never... Dude, I've not only never seen Marty, I'm not sure that I've heard of him. Marty's great. Please watch Marty.

When Homer... Well, have you not seen The Wild Bunch, Bob? I haven't. Now I wild bunch bob i haven't i want to see it you gotta see it in that either it's uh it's like 180 minutes but it flies right by and the um then oh yeah so there came a line after this where homer finds out about it and when he says poetic justice, I thought he, I had not heard of that as a phrase. I thought he was referring to the then new Tupac Shakur, Janet Jackson film directed by John Singleton, Poetic Justice. Homer hated Tupac. I was jerk practice boy. Did I teach you how to sing to trees?

And build crappy furniture out of useless wooden logs? Stupid poetic justice. Actually, we were just planning the father-son river rafting trip. You don't have a son. Such a great line. That is a great line. Homer is so stupid. Again, they set that up in the first scene, basically, with the peanut.

But we learned just how dumb he's getting. But, I mean, this is the stupidest. This next line is the stupidest he's ever been, where he talks himself into going on a rafting trip he doesn't want to go on. They're both using reverse psychology, which ends up being regular psychology. Homer won't want to go, so just ask him and he'll say no. Then it'll be his fault. I don't want to go, so if he asks me to go, I'll just say yes. Wait, are you sure that's how this sort of thing works?

Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip. Dad, I really want you to come on this trip with me. Bart, I'd be delighted to go on your trip with you. Go! I like when Bart says don't. Yeah. I mean, that was just so dumb of Homer. If you don't, I like when Bart says, but that, I mean, that was just so dumb of Homer.

He just says, I don't want to go. So I'll say yes. That's not reverse psychology. It's in his brain. Stops him. Yeah. It's like,

no, you really should. He's like, shut up. Uh, that, that, that,

that crayon in his brain is really affecting. It's getting not canon. I disagree. That and like little... Because Bart and Homer have an adversarial relationship, but I do like those little moments that he can't help but inherit these traits. The horror of Bart actually going to become Homer eventually. A hotter Homer.

Excuse me. Am I the only one who's attracted? To slag off Bart? Slag off. I'm a bang bang Bart boy. anyone who's attracted to slag off Bart. Slag off. But oh. I'm a bang bang Bart boy. But this goes back to like Homer being like a

more of an audience surrogate like almost immediately when they're paddling down the rapids with the planters. Before they get on there first I love that I love Borg 9 trying to

cheer him up. He's like he'll be fun too. And there's just something about the way the sea captain says I don't know what I'm doing. Go back to running a restaurant.

Yeah, he shouldn't be selling rafts. I guess now we know why they call them rapids and not slowpids, huh? You are not my son. Homer is rightly mad at that bad joke. It makes no sense. It's just a very mad joke. Rap has nothing to do with the speed of anything. And though I think Homer wouldn't have even been partnered with Ned

if he didn't close his eyes when all the other guys were making partnerships. All right. And instead, then when he opens his eyes, Ned's in front of him. If he wanted to go with not Ned, talk to any of the other fathers there. And then Ned zinked his sniffer. Because you gotta protect your nose from the heat, though. That's something, with what happens in the third

act, they would be covered with sun blisters. Like, that's not something, like, they've all got skin cancer after this. They look like everybody in Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. Oh my god. We learn they've been gone for a week. I'd see for a week. At least a week. But, so bad, and the ugly. Oh, my God. The blistered lips. We learn they've been gone for a week. At sea for a week. At least a week. But, so, yeah, they do the rapids.

Homer ruins it immediately. Won't even admit it. And everything Homer does for the last seven minutes of the episode is all wrong, and it's all the best. Like, he tells them to let the current take you back to land, which is not how the ocean works. Though they were going out into the Atlantic Ocean that tells you a coast that Springfield is on. Of course.

They took a bus to that coast, maybe. Yeah, that's true. Wherever the Father-Son Rapids trip was could have been very far from Springfield. But the slightly clever thing is that the Krusty Burger map Homer uses eventually saves them. It ruins them and then it saves them at the last minute. But when they come

back with Sugar, Sugar, it's one of my favorite openings of a scene ever. Flanders! My socks feel dirty. Give me some water to wash them. Again, Homer, we have to ration the water carefully. It's our only hope. Oh, pardon me, mister let's ration everything.

But what do you think we're floating on? Don't you know the poem? Water, water everywhere, so let's all have a drink. Homer, no! What does it matter? We're doomed. The poem Homer is misquoting is the rhyme of the ancient mariner which is water water everywhere

and not a drop to drink because you can't drink salt water don't do it kids that's bullshit and that sugar sugar was a song popularized by cartoons the archies the archies in the 70s it was i mean the the literal archies didn't write it but it premiered on their cartoon, and it was said it was the Archies doing it. Were they sort of like the original Gorillas? I never got that. I'm like, is Jughead singing this song? What does that have to do with... I mean, it's...

No, the singer is Archie. He's singing it. I see. But it's related to the comic. Yes, it is. No, it's all the comic characters are in it. I think the song predated the cartoon. You know, it might, but it was it's all the comic characters are in it and the song predated the cartoon you know it might but it was always credit to the archie yeah but they created a fake band based on the comic the comics were that hot baby and they did it on the riverdale this fall at cw

but it was archie singing the song and man i can't remember everybody's musical instruments i do know the women were playing tambourines but And I mean, deep cut, but I think the ancient Conan O'Brien show sketch Conan Babies was based on the Archie's cartoon because they always played an Archie style song. Does anyone remember Conan Babies?

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at electricireland.ie. The Archies may have started it, but Scooby-Doo did it too. Josie and the Pusher Friends are all like, it's time for the chase while we play a crappy pop song. Fucking Jabberjaw did it. Everybody did it. The Scooby-Doo gang did not actually play the song, though.

They didn't actually play the song on Scooby-Doo. They would dance to it. They would maybe dance later. And that's what I, that was one of the better parts of Pub Named Scooby-Doo, which was not, actually Pub Named Scooby-Doo. They would dance to it. They would maybe dance later. And that's what I, that was one of the better parts of Pub Named Scooby-Doo, which was not actually Pub Named Scooby-Doo is better than about half the Scooby shows.

It's like proto Tiny Toons. Rich Aarons is doing his best with the worst Animania, the worst team from Tiny Toons. But the Archies, I also love how callously Homer just throws the Walkman into the water. Him and Rod never do any, there's never jokes with the two of them.

Is that Rod or Todd? Is it the older planters or the younger planters? Rod is the older one, I thought. No one knows this for real. I heard them say T for tiny. Todd is tiny. This is sad, but I do remember when I was really young, there's always that one adult friend of your father's.

You're like, I'm kind of afraid of you. Yes. And I'm not going to make any noise around you. I do not want you to talk to me. And then the seagull dying was a great joke. Great joke. The way that it's sound is so great. The dolphins laughing at them and swimming away.

But meanwhile, it turns out that being on the other boats was also a hellscape. It's a one-way ticket to, well, probably one of the first Simpsons rape jokes. Okay, look. Referencing deliverance is not always a joke about sexual assault. That's how it starts. No. If you say squeal like

a piggy, yes, it's a rape joke. But I feel like going into a dangerous hillbilly zone is the joke here they're doing the banjo music and giggling it's the same shot but the children in that scene aren't the people who raped dead baby in deliverance okay so in deliverance it starts with these guys going south and then they meet a the band the dueling banjo scene is just because they see a horribly inbred banjo player. Who is an amazing banjo player. He's a savant at that.

They go river rafting and then run into like swamp people who are all crazy and do many things to them, including the famous sexual assault scene. But they don't directly reference it. Like just I watched it because of this reference in it. I've actually canoed on the river a couple times. No, no. The movie is scary. Before I saw the movie and then like, oh, shit, there's a movie shot here on this river? That's where I'm from.

Burt Reynolds from my town. Burt Reynolds. And no mustache, Burt Reynolds. No mustache. It's really weird. Let's move on. Wiggum is so bad at his job, he refuses to search for a week. He's too busy playing

checkers with a dog and they can barely they barely touch on it but you do have they have to not talk about it because it would it would not be funny it would be depressing the anguish marge is going through that homer and bart are missing for a week yeah what is what is lisa thinking what is what is march thinking going to bed every night not knowing if her son and husband are alive their neighbor and his child yet them too and that patty uh brings up that homer could be dead which is a very old school patty joke yeah like when patty had the um that guy for marge at homer triple bypass hello but my problem with it was that patty is also seemingly implying that Bart would be dead, and I don't think she'd do that.

I think they've got a soft spot for Bart. I immediately misinterpreted it's cougar season. I'm like, and those things don't mess around. I took the 2017 definition of cougar and like, go for it, Marge. Get out there. The church picnic flare gun firing is a great scene. So great. And then the dolphins telling him they're all going to die.

But the best worst clip is him slapping Flanders back in reality because it's always more slaps than I remember. Oh, yeah. It's one of those great jokes of like too long makes it more funny. Come back. Come back. Oh, we're done for. We're done for. We're done for.

We're done, Diddley. Done for. We're done, Diddley. Doodley. Done, Diddley. Doodley. Done, Diddley. Doodley.

Done, Diddley. Doodley. Blanders, step out of it! Thank you, Homer. I don't know what got... Dad, I think he's okay. It's better to be safe than sorry. Sorry. Diddley. It's better to be than sorry Sorry Diddly

The diddly was an ad-lib by Harry Shearer back when he cared, but it's great to hear him care in these early episodes That last one makes it funny It'll always make it funny The final diddly After Homer apologizes, he slaps again It was so great

All those slaps, it goes too so great. Just all those slaps. It goes too long. It is like the rake joke. It is Homer getting his aggression out against Ned, who he clearly hates. He's finally allowed in sort of a way to hit Ned. They're both nuts right now. And then, so they're dying. They're close to death.

They have run out of energy. They are about to die. Homer's got that weird sea urchin beard. Their last doodle is gone. They've got nothing left, and losing that last doodle breaks Homer, and they're ready to admit that death is upon them. Son, there's something I was going to give you

at the end of this trip, but since we may not survive, I want you to have it now. A real Swiss Army knife! Cool! I stole it from that Fortnite guy. Don't worry, kids. I'll take care of him with my trusty...

Uh... Uh... Uh... Hmm... The background on that shot looks like a UPA cartoon. It's just a bunch of tree, like very sketchy tree silhouettes. That's true. He's standing on nothing.

They were still in Deliverance Town. Yeah. Well, they're going on quite an adventure together, which I guess all the other dads are dead because the next time you'll see Bororg nine it's just him every other father's on friday the 13th period and at home but i contend that even if he had that knife that bear killed him yeah the bear would kill him but then homer's so casually just like yeah i stole i stole a knife from ernest borg nine but warren's dad is safe in jail that's true that shows you

the only safe place is prison war Warren has a reason to be optimistic. But the deus ex hamburger actually saves them. By bringing the right map and having the right skills to survive. After killing them eight times over, he then saves their lives.

The false stench of death is upon us. Hamburger. Hey, wait. i smell hamburgers too according to this map there's a crusty burger on an offshore oil rig that's what you're smelling homer oh if it weren't for this blasted fog we'd be saved never Never mind the fog. That way. Stare. There isn't much time. I love the Simpsons music here. Do they still use these music cues ever? They really don't.

Not really. I, yeah, I like that it's a little crusty. Crusty thought he'd have this thing. It's just an unmanned oil rig. Yeah, and the only reason I know about these offshore oil rigs and why you'd set up a business on them is because of BitTorrent. things is they're not mad oil yeah and the only reason i know about these offshore oil rigs and why you set up a business on them is because of bit torrent and you do that because you're in international waters and rules don't apply all files are free and but they never make that joke

i kept waiting for that joke this time that like we don't have to cook our meat or we can serve certain kind of meat um we're offshore i guess the writers weren't as invested in on international waters jokes as they would be in season nine yeah and uh where where tyson fought secretariat was uh and and it just kind of drops i do wish they'd have a reuniting scene of mar of the family with bard and homer but i think they're just like no it's a rush to the end look they're they're alive they ate these things though i think isn to the end. Look, they're alive. They ate these things, though. Isn't it enough that Ernest Borgnine is dead? I think they'd just be thirstier

than, I don't know. Homer eats a mountain of hamburgers. He orders 700. And then it is such a weird ending of a mashup of Friday the 13th with Ernest Borgnine. It's Ernest Borgnine actually playing the guitar and singing.

He did it in real life. Yeah. And his scream, he really, I think he put in the effort. I do too. He has a lot of funny, awkward moments in almost every scene he's in that you, I don't know, you have to be an actor to do well in voice. Yeah, Borgnine didn't half-ass it. I like that. It's a great way to end the show in that they just kill the guest star and there's no more closure.

He's killed by Jason, by the way. An unseen Jason. Yeah, that seemed more of a reference to the earliest Friday the 13th, which were just about creeping you out, not letting you see Jason brutalize people. I mean, the first one was basically, who is the killer? And you only saw the first person camera, right? It's not Jason anyway. And the rest are R-rated wrestling matches with machete and skinny dipping porn that's true uh so yeah i this is still one of my favorites i homer is not my favorite homer in this but it

works very good in the episode though they make it clear homer learned no lesson and he's still cruel to bart at the very end and i guess part with the junior campers after this too there's not even closure on that to explain why he's not in the junior campers next time but they just didn't care right and i feel like he'll be much more human in the next episode the last temptation of homer oh very much but and and i uh my favorite visual gang and this is the dropping of the knife and it just bouncing, bouncing. Every time they go, ah! Ah!

It's really great. It's a magnifying glass, isn't it? Yeah. It was really good. That's an expensive Swiss Army knife, by the way. Yes, it is. With all those extra features. I never had the magnifying glass.

It's the kind that a Hollywood superstar like Ernest Borgnine can afford. I thought it was a nice sort of revival of Call of the Simpsons. The Simpsons not in their element in the wild having to survive. It's not like an episode length problem but it's still a very interesting

third act. I'm for this episode. I'm for it. It's just like every time I see the title it's like a Boys in the Hood parody. That'll bring me back

to 1993. There's not one reference to it at all. Easy E does not appear. I think he was dead at this point so we're kind of screwed but yes this is talking Ice Cube doesn't tell us

who's a hoe and who's a bitch never happens I need to know never happens but this has been Talking Simpsons and I have been your host Bob Mack you can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo

I also write for fandom go to fandom.com for my video game and often anime contents and I also write for Something Awful, a comedy article, every Thursday. Sorry, every other Thursday at somethingawful.com. Oh, wait.

And like the fandom Facebook page. You guys have been doing a lot of live streaming and video on there. We have been, indeed. Check it out there, me and Bob, because I also work at fandom.com. It's infuriating because we stream something and then, like, fandom already did that. I'm like, assholes. I react because we stream something and I'm like fandom already did that like assholes I react to things on camera I've

H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on Twitter and you can find all my thoughts and links to this episode every time a new episode of Talking Simpsons goes live I send a tweet right out and I also do it through the Lazer Time Twitter which honestly we should be plugging more I think about it like at Lazer

Time show that is the Twitter account follow that for Talking Simpsons and Patreon updates Patreon I say yes Patreon.com slash LazerTime that is where you can support this show and the other shows on the LazerTime Podcast Network we do

this as well Bob and I don't do it as our main job it is Chris's main job as well as other of our buddies and you help pay for that if you support us on Patreon five dollars a month we'll get you access to the very first season of Talking Simpsons and all our special season wrap-ups there are three of them and they're all an hour long and they're all great and if I seem loopy and weird it's not just that I've been drinking because it's only been like three beers. But I'm in the middle of 48 hours of no sleep,

and I can't wait for you to see what I've been working on. And I don't need to keep it a secret at this point, but it's on lasersignpodcast.com, and it's all a plug. And you know what? I wanted to hide some extra content at the end of these plugs to punish people who skip the plug section. But so I watched, I don't know if either of you guys watched, did you watch the Camp Crustier episode, the sequel episode to Camp Crusty?

Don't. Okay. I never wanted to watch this. I don't want, I am not doing this to dump on current day Simpsons. I know we do that too much on here when it's not as bad as it as it seems and they do there are funny jokes in it the gimmick of that episode is that it is a sequel that

takes place directly after camp crusty and as a sequel it fails so much at that for the start there are no references to mr black there are no references to anything that happened there, not the fat camp. When Krusty drops them off from Camp Krusty, it looks somewhat similar to the bus, but there's no reference of taking them to Tijuana. Who didn't do their research? I mean, you can watch this episode wherever you want. And so the episode worked. The episode would work fine if it was just any time they went to Camp Krusty. And when they flashed back to scenes at Camp Krusty, like Sideshow Mel is there.

I was like, no, the point was Krusty wasn't there. So Sideshow Mel wouldn't be there. And the reason they had a bad time at Camp Krusty was not because Sideshow Mel was making them watch a musical. Like, that's not why. And it just, it drove me crazy because it was sold to me as this is our first sequel episode we've ever done and they just cheat out of it that seems very uh i mean it feels like a new low to me yeah i just didn't like it's not a terrible episode as an episode because camp crusty camp crusty is held up as one of the best episodes one of the more

memorable ones and to follow it up but not pay homage to it and not include what people liked and not even pay respect to... Not a single Camp Deadly reference. Oh, no. What the fuck? Screw Camp Deadly, but Mr. Black needs to come back. Honestly, it feels like they just had a...

To evil. I think they just had an episode where Bart and Lisa come back from a camp, and they're like, hey, it could be cool if we connected it to that season four episode, Game of Crusty. Then we might go viral, and that's all we care about now.

But it's weak as a sequel. I'm sorry, guys. It wasn't a bad episode as far as an episode of television to watch. It was fine. But I expected a whole lot more for something sold to fans as a sequel. Not fair. And that's my rant. I just wanted to get that out there.

Thank you so much for listening. Next week is a much better episode than Camp Crustier. It is The Last Temptation of Homer and we'll see you then. Wow. Infotainment.