Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes

Episode Date: August 31, 2016

We close out the third season with the return of Homer’s half-brother, just as the Simpsons win a big award and meets a boxer in this week’s podcast…

today's talking simpsons is brought to you by little bits the easy to use electronic building blocks talking simpsons listeners can go to try little bits.com slash laser time and get 20 off your first order Ahoy, ahoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons. This is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. I am your host, Bob Mackie. Who else is here with me today? Christopher Lazy Sperm Antista. Henry Tempura Hatchback Gilbert. And today's episode is Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?

Which aired at the late date of August 27th, 1992. A weird summer episode. It's drinking the water! Exactly. And we find about Homer's fascination with that drinking bird. But what happened on August 27th 1992 in history Chris

holy shit oh my god oh you wouldn't believe it Hurricane Andrew ravages through South Florida President Bush

dispatches 5,000 soldiers and 300 million in relief Murphy Brown wins the Emmy for best comedy and Clint Eastwood's Unforgiven is number one at the

box office wow she won the Emmy for the episode where she had a child, I'm guessing, probably. I would bet so. It was the third season finale abortion, I thought. I mean, Dan Quayle made fun of her in the run-up in that election. And we'll see a parody of that episode soon, a very specific parody of Murphy Brown. But Chris, didn't you survive Hurricane Andrew?

I did, but were you in Florida at that point? No, I wouldn't be moving there until the episode Lisa Beauty Queen. I'm happy I got to talk about it with our buddy Mike Drucker on the episode of Laser Time because he was from that area and there was a water park every kid used to go to there that

was just wiped away. Among many other things in people's homes. Do people remember the name or has it lost to time? The Hurricane Andrew? I mean, the water park. It's Atlantis, baby. There's a small website devoted to it, but it's like an era before digital photography and it's a real big bummer for me.

If you call your water park Atlantis, you're setting yourself up to be destroyed by water. I mean, it's pretty much faded, right? Exactly. And pretty much anything you build in Florida falls under that logic. Yeah. The ocean's coming in, baby. Might as well call it Vesuvius or something. But what did happen is that it drove literal South Florida refugees into northern Florida.

So I had a couple brand new classmates after Hurricane Andrew. But what I did get out of it was... They were the wet ones. I got my dog, Mac, a rescue from the rubble of Hurricane Andrew. We got a dog from it. And he was around until very recently, wasn't he? No. He got hit by...

He liked to chase UPS trucks up to the tire. And that eventually... That'll do you in. That, you know, I'm sure he's a great dog. But you know what you didn't mention in that history? What was that? Is that this week also had the premiere of Martin. Did it really?

Which is why this episode aired on August 27th. Was it before or after Martin? This was the lead-in to the premiere of martin didn't really why this episode aired on august 27th was it was it before or after martin it was this was the lead-in to the premier martin so the reason i didn't know this premiered way later at the end of august they didn't mention it in the commentary even but i noticed it in i read about it online was that they talk about in the commentary that this aired in august because fox was just having weird things like season two the the old mac head episode yeah that did air during the summer too and then it was just fox being experimental but in this case they wanted to premiere martin earlier and then they

had this episode which was going to be a holdover for officially season four yeah season four is like two weeks away and be the season four premiere but they decided no we need a new simpsons to lead into our brand new show martin which hey it works like five years despite all the sexual harassment the star did to certain people when you're that talented yes you can just get away with it and and so you talk glowingly about martin lawrence recently in an episode of 30 2010 i. I'm glad we did. I have two announcements, though, before we start. Are you quitting? No, no.

From the very beginning, I've been keeping a running Google Doc for our podcast, all my notes. I'm retiring it as of this episode for a new one. There's 18,000 words, so that's how many notes I've taken. The second thing I want to say is I listened to the commentary for this episode, and the people who wrote this episode kind of hate it. They were very tired and don't like it and james l brooks is just trolling them non-stop on this commentary just like them making excuses and him poking holes in their excuses so i guess we're going to talk about like where this episode falters and where it's good well that's also funny because i also found a

note from azaria or in a separate interview hank azaria talked about how danny devito is not happy to cut he saidVito was not happy to come back and do it again. Because he apparently didn't like the experience the first time. A voiceover? Apparently. He had done it before and in Space Jam. So he said, Azarius, that he did a good job, but he did not enjoy it. Because I have been curious about that.

I think I mentioned that here before. I saw an awesome Q&A with James L. Brooks here, and it was hosted by Danny DeVito because they're buddies. He's in a bunch of his movies in Taxi. But one, I didn't remember this second appearance by Herb Powell being so close to the original one. Yeah, just one year later. And then there's a 20-year distance.

That's right. He does come back, and I totally missed this one. On the phone. He comes back on the phone. It's a one-off joke about just like... Homer having a brother and family is so important in this episode and then it is completely

forgotten. You have to forget about it otherwise the show doesn't work. Having a potentially billionaire brother again is on good terms with Homer finally. Every problem they've had since this episode, you're like, why don't they just call Herb and get a borrow money or whatever? So this episode opens with Lenny's naked ass.

That's the first thing you see. I forgot that opened. Did we say they, like, modern FCC regulations dictate that the Simpsons bare asses can't be on screen? Post Janet Jackson meltdown, 2004 Super Bowl, they really added restrictions.

So all the bare asses we see up until maybe 2004, 2005, they are now contraband. We cannot have a drawing of an ass crack on the screen. And it's actually happened on Fox cartoons. I remember watching American Dad after the Janet Jackson thing, and there was a bare ass, but they blurred the butt crack out. They added mosaic to a curvy line. It's so crazy. Jesus. It is very strange, but it's so crazy jesus yeah it is very strange but

it's a funny little joke of i like how homer thinks about for a second if you'll lend him his underwear just briefly i mean that's i i don't know which i never know which thing to get to lead into the episode because it's usually a red herring but i love love burns yelling at his legal team again barely sounding like burns but Burns, but I love the energy. This energy from Harry Shearer and Burns will never be seen again. So we find out that Homer's sperm count is low because of the plant. And this is where it leads to. And the plant is responsible.

Isn't it weird that Smithers is looking at Homer's semen? And has his own sperm sample. I actually think that made it better because he's like, well, now I'll just show Burns my sperm. So that's not even a gay confirmation. He's just a serial killer. It's just virile. He can never use that sperm. But Burns yelling at his lawyers

like he didn't barf the murderer. Before you begin, let me make one thing clear to you. I want your legal advice. I even pay for it. But to me, you're all vipers. You live on personal injury. You live on divorces. You live on pain and misery. But I'm rambling. Anybody want

any coffee? I'll have some coffee. Want it black, don't you? Black like your heart? It's so hard for me to listen to you! I hate you all so much! I'm sorry. It's my problem. I'll deal with it. Please continue. If you offer Mr. Simpson a token sum, say a couple of thou,

he'll be so dazzled he'll sign anything you shove under his nose oh brilliant a cash settlement i could have figured that out you buttoned down maggot you have any cream no yes of course where are my manners it's weird that burns will be offended by the uh i guess the the way lawyers act and perform their jobs it's not a part of his personality they ever explore, because you'd think they'd be natural allies. But this is consistent. He hates lawyers.

It feels slightly out of character for him, but it's just such a great little... They hate me! It's the vaudeville up and down, like, I'm sorry. I hate you so much! Yeah, I love when he just says it blatantly like that. But yeah, basically...

So then we find out that Herb... Herb is back, baby! Well, I used to own a successful car company. My strategy was giving them Japanese names. You guys ever drive a Tempura hatchback? Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Yeah, I got hit by one of those.

Yeah. Life was sweet. Then I found out I had a long lost half brother and this show is more flashbacks than like an opening of friday the third friday the 13th movie one of the rare in like them clipping to another thing in a non-clip show and just a year earlier the animation looks so much worse even though it was getting better at that point but i feel like they they burn a lot of time introducing her powell again a little bit going through all the hobos i mean all the hobo characters and it's very very specific like yeah i of course i got charlie

chaplin i don't think i got emmett kelly right yeah but that's who herb is eating with well and that all the hobos are ex-ceos i know that they all used to be rich. And one is actually James L. Brooks. The one with the big beard who talks about having the massage parlors where he guaranteed, or he said, sorry. The Mickey Mouse massage parlors. I'll put the pants back on him. Some people just can't listen.

I did my nerdy research, because within what happens, the couch breaks, and the Simpsons family needs to make a decision on to buy a new couch, how do we afford this um and again uh no i'll get to that in a second well the couch breaking one that's a changed line they did because bart right before he jumps on the couch he says i do this for stain master carpets that line that was originally a line about the collapsing ussr but it had already completely disappeared by the time the episode aired, so they redid the dialogue.

Yeah, they mentioned that. I don't know if I should play the clip of Homer thinking of his memories on the couch watching television. And thanks to 302010, I was able to place the time of every single one. I don't think I need to play it because they referenced...

The Hands Across America? Yeah, well, JR in Dallas is 1980, Hands Across America is 1986, and The J.R. in Dallas is 1980, Hands Across America is 1986, and The Fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989. We see Homer with a weird kind of George Costanza ring of hair around his head, which we never see again. I think they just subtracted hair from the top of his head

rather than just made him bald and had hair around his side. It's an out-of-character hair level for him because they've set up that Homer has full head of hair in high school. By the time Bart is born he's starting to bald. He's slightly more bald by the 1984 Olympics and then by the time Maggie is born he has

four hairs. Yeah he has like an extra hair or two. And I did love the line, the arms the seats, the dream is over. And revealing he got the couch from Ned. From Ned Flanders. It was Ned's old couch that they just took. I have yet to buy a couch yet.

And when Marge makes a comment on how much the spine melter is, I assure you couches, one couch is way more than that, let alone a whole living room set. Couches are so expensive. It's ridiculous. I have never bought a couch. We got to hand me down. That's why the other room is such crap.

So her pal was chasing the American dream. He gets inspiration from an unlikely source. I love this. Let's see. I need an idea. Idea. Idea. What's the matter with me?

I used to have hundreds of ideas. What do you want? I just changed your diaper. Are you hungry? Are you cold? Do you want i just changed your diaper are you hungry are you cold do you want to go home lady you just gave me the idea of a lifetime how do i thank you please don't hurt me consider it done the fear in her face is great like that's it's so real she's like you're going to hurt me please don't that's an accurate reaction to a bum coming up to you and saying that you know how can i thank you you give me the idea of a lifetime i've had to learn that the hard way now that i am both aging work from home haven't bought new

clothes and occasionally go outside a little disheveled i'm not allowed to be as excited and uh forthcoming as i used to be because i often give you their change without you asking. I can scare women just by my appearance now. Yeah. So can we talk about this baby translator? Yeah. Like, it's magic. It's totally magic. It can't work. Well, that's a way to actually translate a baby. I stopped writing it down.

The miracle is that all human beings are already kind of baby translators. And the babies aren't really saying specific words. Babies are more saying like uh holy shit this hurts or i need something in my mouth i'm hungry or i'm too tired to go to sleep yeah i shit myself yeah they're only saying a couple of things and you can human beings naturally can read those maybe some of our friends with babies or listeners with babies can prove me wrong but i hung out with a friend with a baby recently and i found that like really it's just about distracting the baby until it falls asleep again yes Yes. It's basically the key to good parenting.

Just like, jingle your keys. What's this toy? What's that toy? Look at my fingers. Look at my hands. And make sure it doesn't kill itself in between those times. Can't wait to introduce it to television. So there was a very meta joke of Homer going like, life can't get any worse.

Just waiting for the thing to happen. I feel like this was cut in syndication because I did not remember it. It's a wasteful scene. It is a time-filler scene, but I like it. Yeah, I usually cut out all the dead air here, but the dead air is part of the joke. It seems like almost too early for the Simpsons writers to be making this kind of joke.

Yeah, it's a season six thing. Yeah, I would say so. Hey, pal, I heard about the couch. Yeah, you gonna be okay? Yeah, you know my life just can't get any worse. That's right. There's no way my life could possibly get any worse. Simpson, report to Mr. Burns' office at once.

Don't! There's a point where Homer actually looks at the camera. He's looking at the viewer like, okay, we're expecting this together now. I mean, it's stuff like that, and there's a few other jokes in here that are just like, you're punchy writers.

Yeah. I mean, especially like the Emmy stuff. The next one. I can get to that because... This is the year they lost to the East Claymation. Oh, we'll get to it in the wrap-up episode, which we'll plug at the end of this show. Okay, cool.

I'm excited for that. There's an Emmy slam here, but it's Burns offering Homer the settlement. So great. Jesus Christ, Homer accidentally gets to set all the conditions. Ah, Simpson, you big virile son of a gun. How would you like a check for $2,000?

Would I? All you have to do is sign this form. Wait a minute. I'm not signing anything until I read it or somebody gives me the gist of it. All right. Well, it just explains that you've won. Yes, that's it. Won the first annual Montgomery Burns Award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence. Excellence.

Don't I get some kind of trophy at a big award ceremony? Yes. I love that quote. And you will Montgomery Burns Award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence. So. This award is the biggest prize I ever saw. What about the Emmys? I stand corrected. Bam!

Bam and slam. They're wearing the outfits they wore in their animated Emmys presentation, by the way, which we discussed in season two. And Mr. Burns likely spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to set up this event and all the choreography and all the catering, most likely. But less than Homer would have been paid. Yes. And only so that animation was used again for the actual Emmys this year.

And because of the nature of how we're doing the show, like I always say, the shows will never line up with dates again. About the day to this recording is the Emmys right now. Wow. So that's the only thing we've ever been able to line up with the Simpsons. As is almost this air date. I also want to say this scene is amazing because clearly the Simpsons went forward in time seven years to steal the opening to Family Guy to remake that. I can't believe the Simpsons ripped off Family Guy, right?

I did have that as a note. They totally stole it. McFarlane totally stole the animation set. McFarlane's a fan of that kind of music, which you just don't see on television, period. Yes, but I mean that... And it's just naturally funny. But that specific animation setup of the turn to the camera,

they're the exact same costumes. I don't think the Simpsons writers would disagree with you. No, they're on my side. But I'm with Seth McFarlane on that. That kind of music is fucking funny and it's not done anywhere. It naturally makes me laugh and puts a smile on my face. I do like it. That Family Guy

revels in that kind of old-timey musical number. That's Seth MacFarlane. He has several albums now, I'm guessing. Adam, not a fan of it. We meet our now deceased guest star, Chris. We need a death jingle for this. We have to use a death jingle? Yes!

Dodge you at every turn! There it is! Death! So, Joe Frazier, most famous for being wanted by Muhammad Ali in a non-sexual way. I want Joe Frazier. Joe Frazier. That's right. A Philadelphia legend?

Perhaps. He is. I love... I only know from our laser time about comedians shutting down hecklers because Bill Burr was pretty rough on Philadelphia. Well, so yeah, Smokin' Joe, if he didn't exist in the era of Muhammad Ali, he would be thought of as the greatest boxer of his time. He's always, though, now seen as just below Ali and also a little below Foreman in that era of the greatest of all time. And I love boxing documentaries so I know all this stuff about him and

his biggest moment was that he won the title after it was stripped off Ali for refusing to go to Vietnam. Then they had the return match for it and Ali to build it up talked the meanest shit in the world about frazier like that people

said if if ali was white he would be called racist for the shit he said against frazier like he called him an uncle tom but anyway the point is that he shit all over frazier frazier beat him in a decision though both were like torn apart by it and then they had two return matches that ali won both of and then later in life when ali couldn't speak anymore then frazier and kind of kicking him when he's down but getting revenge thing like he he talked some shit himself and was just like oh he said back then he said i couldn't talk well now he can't talk at all so wow but but maybe not the classiest but at least he has an excuse like i almost because i think one of the things we kind of hate about simpsons guest stars He can't talk at all. Wow. But at least he has an excuse. I think one of the things we kind of hate about Simpsons guest stars nowadays

are when celebrities play themselves. This is actually pretty great, and part of the charm is how bad an actor Joe Frazier is. It's very charming. It's not grating. I like how bad he is. Yeah, he's easy. Because he's supposed to be awkwardly reading the announcement for Homer.

But I have him here at the bar with Homer. Okay. I miss my couch. I know how you feel. You lost the couch. I lost the heavyweight championship. Heavyweight championship. There's like three of those. The couch was one of a kind.

Homer, I know things are tough now. But one day you'll be walking along and you'll see a piece of furniture you can love just as much. Hey, Fraser, shut up! Bonnie, you've been riding my back all night. Oh, yeah? Can I step outside?

Let's do it. What is it about Barney in this season that is, like, emerging as my favorite character? I'm sure as a fellow commentary nerd... All right! A peanut! God, I love it! As a fellow commentary nerd, All right, a peanut! God, I love it. As a fellow commentary nerd, Henry probably knows this,

but Barney was supposed to knock out Joe Frazier. Oh, really? He knocked out Wade Boggs, but Joe Frazier's son was at the recording and he was like, Joe Frazier does not get knocked out by Barney. So they had to change the joke. Really?

Which probably is now a better joke. I love when the door swings out and it swings back with blood on it, like blood just dripping down it. I would try to look as close as I could, like, were those teeth that just flew past the opening? It's funnier that Joe Frazier, though I mean, that's also

crazy, though, that Joe Frazier, who should be above beating up a drunk in a bar, like, beats the shit out of us, a drunk guy. Nearly kills Barney. Who's indestructible, I think. Joe Frazier is a, you rewatch his matches,

they're amazing. He is Rocky. Like, he's from Philly. He was just like a smaller, like super tough bruiser. The hard-nosed dude to Ali's, you know, dancing around. He was a regular brick hit house. Yeah. And he passed away in 2011, I believe. 2011, that's right.

And yeah, he was, but he was great. I always liked playing as him in the Knockout Kings video games. Oh my God. Forgot all about that, but you know what I didn't forget about? Never can the spine melter. I'll take it!

This chair is $2,000. We could buy a whole living room set for that. No. There's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with family, religion, community service, but those were dead ends. I think this chair is the answer. This money was a blessing.

We can't just spend it on some creature comfort. All right, we won't get the chair. Now excuse me while I kiss the sky. There's an awesome little animated bit there. I love how it's animated. animated yeah just like in one second his his eyelids go down and drool pops out of his mouth that it basically gives him like orgasmic like high yeah we missed the 2001 reference one of like yeah by this point in the show which again never would have got that same year use the hell out of me and a kid. For some reason, Akira from the Kung Fu joint. Yeah, works at the furniture store.

I mean, it's a Sulu joke. Yes, exactly. Oh, my God. I never got that. No. Full power. Because he was voiced by George Takai. Originally George Takai voiced Akira.

Wow. Totally forgot about that. But I did one time, I was really into a vibrating chair, and I bought one used. And then I learned, if you get in one after you eat, you might shit yourself. And I had it in my car, and I kept constantly sharting afterwards. So no more vibrating chairs for me. It's really weird. Around this time, my family had a vibrating chair.

Maybe this was like a common early 90s thing. The early 90s was a vibrating chair era. It definitely was. My family didn't own a vibrating chair, but we did. My mom always had foot pain because, as a patriarchy demands, she had to wear uncomfortable shoes as a woman in a workplace. In front of a stove, of course. and so her feet were always in pain and so she got these just like vibrating foot pads that she just always had her feet in and just

she loved them and but yeah i i remember you'd a trip to the mall you'd want to go to the sharper image type place in here yeah to sit in those chairs yeah yeah yeah and just i i immediately got rid of it like it just it's one of those novelties of like, you know, you get like your ear checked out and like, man, that felt really weird and good. You can't constantly stick your shit in your ear and expect it to feel good. It's like a waterbed. Yes. A little bit.

Exactly like a waterbed. It's fun the first time. Yeah. You know, but I also love that when Herb shows up to the house. Way too late, I think, in this episode. Yes. Like, the middle or end of Act Two? Yeah.

Yeah, but it accurately depicts the Simpsons as white trash. The white trash that they are. They fluctuate back and forth from, like, absurdly middle class to, like, real white trash. When he sees their front lawn, he first goes to the Flanders. You get a funny bit with the Flanders, like, anointing the soles of his feet. And singing to him as he leaves. And cleaning him up, giving him a free suit, like all that stuff. This is a sweet scene. What am I gonna say?

This is the guy who ruined me. But on the other hand, he's family. So many conflicting emotions. How to express them? Herb? Love that. He just steps over him. I like the way he steps over him.

I was a little drinky in that joke. I didn't laugh that much because it's just like, why is it I always punch stuff? The hard drive isn't working. I did everything right. Punch walls. Got to stop that shit. The hard drive might have deserved it, but I don't think Homer did. I still feel like Herb undid himself.

I haven't punched anybody in like two decades. This is repeating what we felt already in the previous episode of Herb undid himself. I haven't punched anybody in like two decades. This is repeating what we felt already in the previous episode of Herb's. But seriously, Herb was given constant warning signs of like, Homer is doing a bad job. You really shouldn't do this. When I hear him talk about how Homer ruined him, like, dude, you deserve part of the blame.

You have to blame yourself. There was no safety net. He did not provide a safety net for himself because he's immediately a hobo from a multi-millionaire. If that was one of your employees, everybody would have regarded this as your fault. Nothing set aside.

It may have ruined his company, but he sold his company. He got no money on it. Komatsu Motors, whatever happened to that nest egg? The Simpsons will be right back. How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner, and greener.

At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero Hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels, and much more. Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier, and your world brighter. Find our Net Zero Hub at electricireland.ie. Hello, Talking Simpsons listeners. Unky Herb is really onto something, don't you think? That baby translator? Who knows how that's going to pan out? That could change the world. Do you have an

inventor in your life? Good, because this episode of Talking Simpsons is brought to you by Little Bits. You know what Little Bits are? Little Bits are the easy-to-use, color-coded magnetic blocks that are basically like Legos that come to life in the form of inventions. Do you have a little inventor in your life? A DIY or musician? Do you like Legos and wish they did more than maybe you could give a little bit to try? And I'm only mentioning that because little bits has an offer just for talking Simpsons listeners. You can go to try little bits dot com slash laser time and get twenty dollars off your first order.

You can get started with a base kit and just like Legos, just continue adding components at your leisure. You can build robots, bubble blowers, pinball games, and it's kind of only limited to what you can think of. There's a kid on the website who made a keyboard out of a banana. Little bits has received rewards from parent groups and tech places like popular mechanics.

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Lazer Time's weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash Lazer Time. Here's a taste of what you've been missing. I woke up with my girlfriend shaking me like, what happened? What happened? I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm like, I think you just vomited blood all over all of our pillows. So like, whatever that thing that happened, I'm not very healthy as you guys can attest, but I spent

Saturday and Sunday being very nice to myself. Slamming ibuprofen with whiskey. But it wasn't like... Well, you're also probably not hydrating. The reason why you don't drink and take basic over-the-counter painkillers that happened to me, and I will never do it again. Never!

Did you take measures of the bloody... I don't think I threw up. I think it was just like something went... I didn't wake up when it happened. Like when a baby spits up. I think something like that. Like when a baby coughs up blood. Because wouldn't you wake up if you threw up?

I mean, some people die by throwing up. Just choking on blood. Oh, yeah, but it wasn't like... I know what my vomit looks like after a night of drinking. This is not bad. This looked like maybe a light splatter. It was like a small cup of tomato soup as opposed to a big bowl of minestrone. Exactly.

Not a big bowl of minestrone, but more like half a cup of tomato paste. Diluted tomato paste. Get bonus time, Laser Time's weekly, full-length, uncensored, and ad-free Patreon-exclusive podcast. As well as weekly full-length movie commentaries ad-free patreon exclusive podcasts as well as weekly full-length movie commentaries wrestling and cartoon video commentaries physical rewards the first season of talking simpson and more at patreon.com slash laser time starting at just five bucks you'll help us live and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again Also, I love the little joke about the happy 1985. I always wondered that when I moved into a new home as a kid,

not too long after this episode, like turning on a light switch in the new place, I was like, ooh, is this like the secret Simpsons light switch because i now remember it's coming back to me we this was on the rare ones we taped but on delay or like we set up the vcr because we were away because my dad had gotten a new job in florida but we hadn't all he was looking for a house a house at that point so we had come down to visit and see what florida was like before school started and so yeah it was just we were there on a trip it was the day before my brother's first bar mitzvah no seventh birthday seventh birthday but uh anyway yeah that uh i always

thought about that the 1985 thing same with whenever i threw out boxes of pizza i definitely remembered the cheese left in it. Yeah. Just imagine the cheese for homeless people. I think back when we were around the age watching this show, now having worked as a delivery man, they have those cushiony boxes. Yeah. And I believe that keeps the pizza. You don't really get pizza with like half the-

Pizza box technology has improved by a lot in 25 years. We've done it. This time you have that little dollhouse table that sits in the middle of the pizza. You're looking at progress. We lived through it and didn't even notice. I call this clip of beef and grief. This is really good, Marge. I got the recipe from the utility grade beef council.

They do good work. Unky Herb, what advice would you give to a boy who will most likely become a bum like yourself? Discarded pizza boxes are an inexpensive source of cheese. Lisa, aren't you happy to see me? Why didn't you write, Unky Herb? Hey, if I wrote to you, what was I supposed to say? Dear Lisa, last night I used a rat for a pillow thanks to your bop. I see your point.

Would it surprise you that I looked up utility-grade beef? Is that like what they feed to circus animals? Absolutely. Because I don't know beef that well. I just started eating meat. Not just started. Prime, that's a cut of beef. And that's way up there.

Utility-grade is around straddling the line between hot dogs and dog food. I figured it's what they sweep up at the slaughterhouse. I had it written down. Made from older cattle. Like cows on the verge of death. Cows that died of natural causes are utility grade beef. That line feels like a very

Oakley and Weinstein line. The kind of stuff they did in their episodes in season 7 and 8. But utility grade beef it has a very boring humor kind of stuff they did in their episodes in season 7 and 8. But, like, Utility Grade Beef, it has a very, like, boring humor type joke that they got out of, like, Langdon Auger type of thing.

I like the National Punch Council. What was that? Oh, yes. Something like that. But the National Punch Council. One of the questions I wanted to ask you guys is why they made Herb talking to Maggie sound so menacing. Did the script take a weird turn? Well, no.

It wasn't just the script. It was the music, too. But I'm saying, did they make a bunch of other edits and change the story around? I think they wanted... My guess is that they wanted the audience to be invested in his idea for a little bit longer if they think that it's somehow sinister. That's my guess. But, Bob, do you have a guess on that? I think, I mean,

they communicated enough to let us know it wasn't that way. We know his idea by this point, so I felt that stinking music was not earned. When you're driving near a fog, Powell makes a pow-pow powerful car. Maggie,

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. You're gonna make me rich again. Yes, you are. Yes, you are. It sounds like he's going to sell her. Exactly, yeah. I didn't buy this.

I felt like that was just like, what's this? It's a weird moment. And then he goes straight into Monopoly, which I like. It was very observational of a family playing Monopoly together. It was. On the floor, even. Not even on a table. It was. On the floor even, not even on a table. I was thinking about that Herb Powell line, and Nancy Cartwright's on the commentary

for this, and she says the original script was maybe 50 plus pages, so I feel like there was a lot of stuff built in that was not paid off in this final version. That's longer than usual. I believe it is for TV, it's a minute a page. Something like that, yeah, in most screenwriting. Oh man, Herb.

But Herb wants the money that, getting back to the first act of the show. Yes. Herb wants the money that he got from Burns, Jesus Christ, outstanding achievement. The first annual Montgomery Birds Award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence. Excellence. Why are we playing games when we got two grand as a bank?

Remember when Dad won the first annual Montgomery Burns Award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence. Why are we playing games when we got two grand in the bank? Remember when Dad won the first annual Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Excellence? But I think we should invest in a set of the great books of Western Civilization. Look at this ad from New Republic for Kids. Each month, a new classic will be delivered to our door. Paradise Regained, Martin

Chuzzlewit, or Herman Melfill's twin classics, Omo and Typee. Wait, Marge, didn't you want to spend that money on a vibrating chair? That was your idea. I think we should get a machine gun. We could use it to hunt games, spell out things, or ring in the new year. Well, I really think we need to replace the washer and dryer. How would you like to spend $2,000 to give a broken man a second chance?

Nah. So we have a very Harvard joke. I have a master's in literature, so I can say Lisa chose the most boring books that are available in English. I never got the New Republic for Kids. So first off, yeah, New Republic for Kids. I get that now.

That's so fucking great. I didn't know what New Republic was. Also, the New Republic is kind of racist or has a racist past like there's a story about how somebody realized like hey you've never had a black person run for you like what's the deal with that and they came out they tend to not agree with us henry well it turned out like one of their uh old their owner was like just a monstrous racist even on the other people not a conservative from the 60s. But so Bob,

I never read any of those books. I haven't, but I know their reputation. Were they real? Because you said Paradise Regained. That's real. That is like the lackluster sequel to Paradise Lost that nobody cares about. It exists, yeah. It's a John Milton epic poem. Omu and Typee, not such good books.

Herman Melville kind of sucked outside of Moby Dick. That's why he died penniless Home and Typey sound like a fucking Saturday morning puppet show like in the

local in the 50s I also did love when Homer when he's about to give the presentation just the way Homer goes 20 minutes I have that reaction

Meanwhile we've talked for 30 minutes about a show that's 20 minutes sometimes an hour but guess what the drinking bird we're around to my yes it's my line of the show baby 30 minutes about a show that's 20 minutes. Sometimes an hour. But guess what? The drinking bird.

We're around to my, yes, it's my line of the show, baby. That's the joke. It's drinking the water. Take it and change the world. 20 minutes? Okay, now before I tell you about my idea, I'd like to show you this. It's drinking the water. Take it easy, Homer. Now, this is an example of how one little idea, carefully marketed. This is the greatest invention in the world. You'll make a million dollars. No, Homer. That invention is out already. I'm just using it as an example.

Going back for more. I love... That might be my favorite line in Simpsons history. I like how quietly amused Homer is. Yes. And I also love Danny DeVito's, like, when he takes it away. It's just that, like, for me, it's drinking the water.

We've talked about this before. I imagine where Simpsons lines with your friends become shorthand for other things. Of course. And things that are built to be impressive but aren't, I respond, it's drinking the water. Or if I want to make myself look stupid in the face of learning something, I yell, it's drinking the water. It's very specific to me but I love this line it is my favorite line I think of the entire

season it's drinking the water I love it it does sum up Homer's personality and it's funny it's a great shot like everything about it is amazing Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein love season 3 it's their favorite season of the Simpsons and they wanted to make season 7 a lot like season 3 we see a lot of similar ideas.

The drinking bird comes back in King Size Homer. Ah, the drinking bird. Yes. Dates back to 1910. Oh. Some say Albert Einstein discovered them in China. I wish I could explain more about how they work, but it involves air pressure systems in the water and the butt. And a tiny top hat.

It's very important. It's a felt tip on the nose, so when it evaporates, it creates a pressure system that then falls back into the water. It's also known, I love this, as the insatiable bird. Believe me, I looked for a commercial, but this thing has been around so long. It creates the need of commercials. Well, it's like public domain. It's like the same reason no one does fucking commercials for fake dog shit. I feel like those balls that you clack back and forth.

You pull one back and it just like, yeah. Those have a name like Newton balls that you clack back and forth. You pull one back and it just like, yeah. Those have a name like Newton balls. I definitely bought one of those drinking birds as a kid. I've never had one. Because of this. It was beautiful. But okay, so. Not a perpetual motion machine though.

Very different. We will not have those in our house. So when they're going around the table to convince Homer to give him the money, it felt like every line was redone there. Like all the mouth movements were off. And I think that's another thing that makes you see how the show came in hot and heavy, that they just

re-recorded all this stuff that they weren't happy with in the first pass. In fact, there was one line, I think, that was overdubbed that I didn't get until now because I turned the captions on, where Herb goes, well, he unveils the machine, and Marge goes, ooh, and Herb goes, you don't have to... I love this.

Oh, you have it? Oh, cool. Now, I bet you're all wondering what lies under this sheet. Not really. We peeked inside while you were in the john. Oh. Well, here it is again. My baby translator. Whoa. Marge, you don't have to humor me. Well, it's pretty ingrained.

What do you think, Homer? Herb, this is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I can't believe we blew 2,000 bucks on it when right now rollers could be kneading my buttocks. Homer, could you stop thinking about your ass? I try, but I can't. Yeah, Marge saying it's pretty ingrained. I don't think I ever heard that before. It would have been line of the show had I not loved

I mean it's inferring she just is used to humoring Homer right and all of his ideas it's such a great little line that says so much I thought it was a joke about the way she reacts in every episode yeah I think it works as a meta joke about how that's all Marge ever does

or has to do but I took it more as a behavioral thing of just like, all she does is act impressed with Homer's ideas when they're not good. Oh, Homer! And so she's doing it for him now. But the baby translator, like we said, is magic.

It's totally magic. You're Maggie Translated? Yes. Lavish attention on me and entertain me. Maggie, you talked. You see? It tells you exactly what's on the baby's mind. Maggie.

Maggie. Where did you go? Peek-a-boo. Oh, there you are. Very amusing. Well, Homer, now what do you think? I don't know, Herb. People are afraid of new things.

You should have taken an existing product and put a clock in it or something. Homer, every mother in the country is going to want one of these. I have soiled myself. How embarrassing. Nancy Cartwright doing double duty. Yes, Maggie. Maggie never does. She never makes noise any other time. The one thing that salvages this idea is Danny DeVito's deadpan voice speaking for the babies.

I have soiled myself. It's how embarrassing. If this thing exists, I would pay $60 extra for Danny DeVito's voice to come out of it. I want Siri to talk like Danny DeVito. I forgot how quick the baby... Pete's Dragon is playing near you right now. 8 o'clock. 10 o'clock. When they go to the baby... Peach Dragon is playing near you right now. 8 o'clock. 10 o'clock.

When they go to the baby expo... I forgot it goes by so fast. And there's only like a couple little jokes in there, but Frank is pretty great. I didn't get Frank, but I... Frank murdered his... like killed his son, apparently. My life is gonna kill me. They spend more time on Frank than they do on her Powell's invention. But the woman who's going to get candy forever.

I love that line. I only want to eat candy. Then that's all you'll get. This leash demeans us both. I love that. I'll take a dozen. I represent the precious baby discount stores. I'll take 50,000.

I'm rich again. USA! USA! USA! The small joke of a store with the name Precious and discount in it. I really did like that. That is great, yeah. Though I also love this least of means.

We'll have people chanting USA in the next episode, I just realized. Yes, we will. So then when he gives everybody their presents, it's a very intentional Wizard of Oz thing. Oh, yeah, that's right. I do love the sequence. I love the NRA joke, yeah. Homer, here's a check for $2,000. But I also wanted to give you each a little something for believing in me.

Lisa, this is the first volume of the Great Books of Western Civilization. You'll receive a new one every month from Beowulf to less than zero. Lisa, this is the first volume of the Great Books of Western Civilization. You'll receive a new one every month, from Beowulf to less than zero. Finally, a copy of Ethan Frome to call my own. Now, Bart, I know you're too young for that machine gun you wanted, but I'm going to give you something that'll make sure when you're old enough, you can still buy one. A membership in the National Rifle Association. Wow, the NRA! Can I get armor-piercing cyanide-tipped bullets, too?

It's in the Constitution, son. Maggie, who brought me my fortune, I'll give you anything you want in this world. I want what the dog's eating. I'll get you something nice. Now, Marge... Herb, I appreciate your generosity, but I don't need any gift from you. You're too late, Marge.

I got you a new washer and dryer, and I sold the old ones for 50 bucks. I should say I love the washer and dryer jokes. They're just very visual. Ah, you stupid dryer. They're so great. Most bar has washer and dryer races. We had those dryers. They're being used for gambling and most shitty bar.

We don't need a scene like this, but I feel like there was a lost scene in which Marge was struggling with a washer and dryer that didn't work. I feel like this was not established. Earlier, you got to see them vibrating in the basement. They have a million second cutaway of the washer and dryer almost killing Snowball, but that was it.

I totally forgot about that, actually. But it goes so fast, it really doesn't set's a very and that's why i love the fast cutaways that occur in in these episodes all around around this time i just i remember getting mad at shows like malcolm in the middle and 30 rock for what i call whoosh cam that need to like have a sound effect to let us know they're doing a cutaway and like the simpsons established this in the early 90s yeah you do not have to do the NRA bit was great especially you know DeVito is a big-time lefty so he's mocking it it's in the Constitution so cyanide tip bullets was originally cop killer bullets and the the armors did not like that wow so yeah it's funny that John Swartzwell wrote this because he's a big libertarian.

I'm sure he loves guns. And he also wrote The Cartridge Family, which is sort of like an anti-gun episode, I think. I should mention, in going through the news for the whole show, when I do the news portion, this is the era where Ice-T had the Cop Killer song and is legally forbade from performing it in public. Before he was on TV's most beloved show. Yes. About cops. What do was on TV's most beloved show. Yes. About cops. What do you mean he the pedophile?

Did you know that on the Gamergate episode they did, he was there? He was their consultant as well. Would it surprise you to know that's the only episode I've seen in like 20 years? And then the episode goes out on Homer's sperm. Well, there's a moment with him and Herb. Oh, it is beautiful. It is sweet. Man-on-man action.

Herb, I don't think there's a vibrating chair in that bag for me. Homer, walk me to my car. What do I get? What do I get? It's not another punch in the face, is it? Because if it is, I don't want it. This is what you get, Homer. I forgive you.

You can call me brother, and I can do the same. That's it? That's it. I see your point, brother. Give me a hug, brother. All right, but I never really hugged a man before. Homer, I bought you the damn chair. That's enough, Eric Eric get out of here why does Danny DeVito hate doing a voice

is it because he has to stand on like 16 apple boxes to reach the microphone he's gotta like climb them first he's so good at it he's such a great part of the Simpsons he's so great I miss it he's got a real Dustin Hoffman kind of nuance to this character just his voice, too.

It's just such a beautiful voice. That's why he was cast in every cartoon after this. Danny DeVito is an underrated gem. He will die suddenly and we'll all be really depressed. Hopefully not before this episode goes live. I'm putting this out now as Danny DeVito appreciation day. We're going to have another Gordie Howe moment, Chris. I don't want that.

No. So big mystery in this episode. They buy the chair, but there's a new couch at the end of the show. Where did that couch come from? I'm guessing that... I hired someone to fix it for you. There should have been one line like that. Like, you got a new couch too.

I guessed the $2,000 he gave back to them bought him. Oh, that's right. He returned the money. That's what I assumed, but they also just didn't say. Exactly. And if anybody has a line on a $2,000 couch, it may save us some money. Thank you. It's a sloppy, messy episode that they did when they were very tired.

They were killing themselves to make these amazing jokes we still talk about today. But it's still very funny. The vibrating sperm is a great way to go out. And also just like the Burns stuff in the beginning. So good. And I felt like Burns making up a funny thing on this fly is a real feel of how they did this episode, too. Like, um, and then. Excellent.

Oh, we didn't mention they did do it, too, because they felt bad that Herb was left broke at the end of the last episodes. They wanted to bring him back just to give him a happy ending. To reset the status quo. Only now Homer knows he has a brother. Again, I see how this is problematic if you want to have any dire situation. He now has a rich brother whenever he needs to talk to him. Never did. Nope.

So, yes, a sloppy... If you want more... I meant to get that sound clip, but what it was... It's literally like 20 years later. Herb Powell comes back, and it's about custody or guardianship of the kids. Yeah. And they call Herb, and he explains why he can't do it. And do we see him or just hear his voice? No. It'ship of the kids. Yeah. And they call Herb and he explains why he can't do it. And do we see him or just hear his voice?

No. It's all over the phone for one, like, 30 seconds or something. And, you know, this reminds me, too, of Plot Hole and Simpsons Continuity in the good seasons. I hope someone got admired over that one. So it's established that the Simpsons gene makes all male Simpsons failures. Oh, you're right. Not Herb Powell, though.

Well, eventually. I think he suggested he lost his money again as well. He does in that one scene. Fine. Well, I mean, he failed horribly once. Maybe that was just the one time. I mean, you could say the Simpsons curse came in once he found out he was a Simpson, that then failure came and got him.

Oh, yeah. Like, you could say that, but his level of success and second success is a lot better than shooting birds at the airport. That's true. Everybody hates birds. I love that. I shoot birds at the airport. One of my favorite lines ever.

I play Millionaire Parties. If I may jump in with a plug here. People, thank you so much for helping us do this show. Yeah, we've done three whole seasons of The Simpsons. This is the end of the third season. Our third season finale of Talking Simpsons, which will take a nice six-day summer and be back again.

But because the Lazer Time patrons did that at patreon.com slash lazertime where the first season lives, we are doing a season three wrap-up episode. I believe I found something that will blow minds I can't wait but I found a couple things too and I'm going to read some of my favorite comments from across

I want to hear those I'm going to tell you we're going to tell you some of our favorite moments some milestones for the show the last one we did was really fun and I said kind of a high bar but I don't know if we'll be able to do that again. And that episode will only be on Patreon. Patreon.com slash leisuretime network. Slash leisuretime for five bucks.

And you'll have access to 50 commentaries featuring us, cartoon video commentaries, wrestling match commentaries, if you want them. And the first season of Talking Simpsons, 13 episodes you've never heard before. Though we ended up jumping ahead of Bob's usual outro. Oh, no. I'm too excited. So I'm going last this time? Sorry. How is this happening?

Well, yes, I've been Bob Mackey, your host. You can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo. I also write for usgamer.net, somethingawful.com, and I do the classic gaming podcast, Retronauts. You can find that every Monday at usgamer.net or retronauts.com or look for Retronauts in your iPod or podcast device. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week with the start of Season 4.

Wow. Infotainment.