Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Dog Of Death

Episode Date: July 27, 2016

After failing to win the lottery, the family comes together to save their dog, but at what price? Find out in this week’s doggone podcast…

today's talking Simpsons is brought to you by BarkBox and talking Simpsons listeners can go to get BarkBox dot com slash laser time and get a free month of doggy delights Ahoy, ahoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, where we all have untwistable stomachs. This is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. I am your host, Bob Mackie. As always, who else is here with me today? Christopher Anteas. Henry Gilbert.

But damn it. Checkers Gilbert. Doggy heaven lover Gilbert. The mean lassie. Yes, and this episode is Dog of Death, a.k.a. the better Bart's dog. It's an F. And it aired... death, aka the better Bart's dog. It's an F. And this episode aired on March 12, 1992, and Chris is going to

tell us what happened on this mythical day in the early 90s. Oh, man! Oh, my God! Governor Bill Clinton and a pre-HW President George Bush win the South Carolina primaries. Ralph Macchio, Marissa Tomei, and Joe Pesci introduce the world to My Cousin Vinny.

And Color Me Bad wins the Soul Train Award for Best Single and Song for I Wanna Sex You Up. Dang. Did you know that Ralph Macchio was basically 30 by the third Karate Kid movie? He was like 25 in Karate Kid 1. He looks like he's 12. He was so old in that movie. He looks like the only one who hasn't gone through puberty of all those adult children. He looks like the correct age. He does so old in that movie. He looks like the only one who hasn't gone through puberty of all those adult children. He looks like the correct age.

He does. He's the only one who looks like the correct age. And on the recent 30-20-10, we talk about how in Karate Kid 2, he's put on like 40 pounds of 20 pounds of muscle in between the two. And it's seemingly puberty, but wow, I am shocked to learn that about Ralph Machiavelli. In Karate Kid 3, he's not like

obese, but he is is kind of doughy. So he's already a middle-aged man by the time he's still being called a kid. I mean, that's what I love about Chris Pine in the Star Trek films. He keeps getting doughier. He's more Shatner-y than ever. Is he losing his hair? I don't know about that. That has to happen.

Yeah. Even Shatner got his hair back. Oh, yeah. Can I play just the opening? Tell us what the episode is after I play the lottery commercial. Go for it. I don't need your crummy job, Mr. Employer. I won the lottery.

Who needs employees? I won the lottery, too. We both won the lottery. Why don't you win the lottery, too? The state lottery, where everybody wins. Actual odds of winning, one in 380 million. Love that, love that, love that. So this episode is about

Bart's dog needing surgery, but this is the perfect classic unrelated first act, which I think works well in this case. It's amazing. I like this device because they lay in

the important things for the second and third acts in this unrelated thing, but you don't know where the episode will take you. I mean, we do, of course, but in 1992, we didn't. And it's great

that this lottery stuff leads to Santa's little helper and his problem. They get to do every joke about lotteries on a state level. If you don't live in America, I guess, I think in other countries they have state-run, government-run lotteries. And it's, in a

way, I think of it as like the idiot tax. It's just like, my parents played the lottery every week, every, for years. And if, if you told my dad, Hey,

they're going to tax you $2,500 a year about this. He'd be like, no, you're never going to do that. But, but instead he just fucking gives it to them for the chance to win a million dollars. Like that.

It's ridiculous. We do get those crazy things in California, like the power ball, like the $200 million power ball and things like that. It's ridiculous. We do get those crazy things in California like the Powerball, like the $200 million Powerball and things like that. I don't buy lottery tickets, but every once in a while I think, like, I should be doing that because somebody has to win. It's like, that should actually

be the slogan for the lottery. Somebody has to win. Why not you? This is going to sound strange, but working in a grocery store opened my eyes to the desperation and sadness of the lottery because as i was working i was like oh all these people on the last like days of their life all they're doing is coming in every day and buying lottery tickets it's like it seems like it's made for the elderly like it's an elderly uh ripoff scam what do you need money for if you're that old like you've actually lived to see your bank account earn interest, which I haven't yet.

None of us will. Well, and I've read several articles that are profiles of people who win the lottery and won. And it pretty much just ruins your life. Yeah, it's like getting all that money and not knowing how to handle it. The one I read that still sticks with me was this man who, this older man in the south won like over a hundred million dollars a ridiculous sum of money and he said like he was going to build this mega church because god was the greatest and then as he's building this super church he then becomes like his his kids he spoils his kids his grandkids rotten and so they become assholes and drug addicts

and like accidentally kill somebody. And then there's stories of him like just going to every strip club in the state. And also just him, like this disgusting debauchery they mentioned is that he goes to a restaurant and there's this woman he finds attractive there with her family.

He's like, if you strip down your underwear right now, I'll give you $10,000. Wow. This is $10,000 right now. Some burnless level spending right now. And in the article, they talk about how we're poor. $10,000 to us would have paid all our bills and then some.

We'd have been great. And it's nothing to him. Yeah. I think when you're that rich, it's all about how can I buy other people's dignity? It must be so easy. Oh, it feels so good. Yes. Just like when Abe Simpson was giving away his money, everyone in Springfield has ideas about like how can i buy other people's dignity it must be so easy oh i feel so good yes just like

with uh when abe simpson was giving away his money everyone in springfield has ideas of how they want to spend this i just have to put i love this this gag with barney revealing the sum of money you know i heard the jackpot's up to 130 million dollars 130 million dollars did you say 130 million dollars yeah wow i love that barney wow it's happened like three times this season i'm falling in love with barney all over again i never expected this it's a very vaudeville thing yeah yes it seems very abbott and costello they love dusting off those old jokes and putting them in a 90s context barney's so great here i fear that i think because of their great performance in Homer at the Bat, that

Lenny and Carl are just around the corner to take the Barney lines from Barney and replace him as Homer's sounding board, but he's still kind of that. They're nowhere near as dumb and sloppy and drunk and screamy. Yeah, Barney has another great joke in this episode too, but I also, I love

you know, we don't see much of Sanjay. Sanjay's pretty much disappeared at this point. But him just saying, like, don't, when he, Apu's brother, he says, don't sleep with my wife. I promise nothing. I literally didn't get that because I did not want to be yelled at again for, like, anti-Brown shit, like I was about for

liking Short Circuit. We're still on the fence about Apu, I guess. I love this line from Homer. It's so unreasonably optimistic. Are you ready? I have a feeling that we may win

the lottery! But we never ever. I know you're excited, but calm down and listen to me carefully. Go get all your money. I buy one lottery ticket a week with the girls at the hair salon we each play our birthday and that's enough excitement for me you don't understand marge

the lottery is the one ray of hope in my otherwise unbearable life uh the lottery and you that's i didn't even i didn't even know how well that would work in audio form you can hear send his little helper croaking in the sound collapsing he like collapses three or four times throughout like laying the seeds for acts two and three yeah it's great it's great uh use of him there and they they draw him with a gray nose to show him sick or two like radio bar just shows springfield acting like collective morons it's awesome they're just such a mob and I do love the reference to Shirley Jackson's The Lottery, which is one of the most famous American short stories. Do you have a clip?

No, I don't. I didn't get it because I need to look that up because I don't know what that is. It's one of many things thrown into the fire. Yes. Which you see in the reappearance of Bill Cosby's The Fatherhood. Oh, yeah. And Fahrenheit 451. Very good joke.

What I really liked here is people in Springfield are dumb because we established their education system sucks as last episode, but also because of the lottery and people like the books in Springfield Elementary. But there's already one big winner. Our state school system, which gets fully half the profits from the lottery.

Just think what we can buy with that money. History books that know how the Korean War came out. Math books that don't have that basics crap in them. And a state-of-the-art detention hall where children are held in place with magnets. Magnets. Always with the magnets. Now, that's like the first non-boovie Julie Kavner voice. I believe at Springfield Retirement Castle she played the receptionist.

They rarely use Julie for other voices. I feel like this was the last time she did it. But about Shirley Jackson's The Lottery, real quick. Written in June 1948. But it is a short story so there wouldn't be a book. It's like 10 pages or something.

If you buy it, it'll be like The Lottery and Other Stories. Yeah, that might be it. They sell it based on the lottery's reputation. But it's a great, it's pretty much a Twilight Zone stuff. And I had to look this up. The Korean War in 1953. Well, math was all about that, right? Yes.

Well, a veiled reference to Vietnam. And I went and looked up basics math, and it was way too complicated for me to understand. Is that one of Obama's sinister plots to teach our children about the one world government? No, but the closest thing I could find to the truth of the matter is that it was a temporary better math system. This might be unrelated,

but the great parody songwriter, not parody songwriter, but novelty comedy songwriter Tom Lehrer, who did the Elements song and things like that, he did a song called New Math in the 60s

all about what this new math they're trying to teach kids, which they eventually stopped doing, I think. Yes, and so what I did find, because I couldn teach kids, which they eventually stopped doing, I think. Yes. And so what I did find, because I couldn't understand what it meant. Maybe things are in denomination of six. I don't know.

I'm an idiot. Don't trust me. I wasn't saying you're an idiot. But I am a moral. I have a math disability in my college. I never took a math class. Wow. But it did signify that those books could not get out of poor schools.

So before The Simpsons even aired, there were poor schools, and you knew they were poor because they were teaching basics math. But unfortunately, it would be a school filled with more minorities than the Springfields. They're all yellow. That's true.

And all Asian. This is one of the best jokes in Simpsons history. If you're talking to King Homer. I am. I don't know how it plays in audio, but it's great. There's one great line. So what are you going to do with your share of the money, kid? Put it in the bank. Give it to King Homer. I am. I don't know how it plays in audio, but it's great. There's one great line. So, what are you going to do with your share of the money, kid?

Put it in the bank. Give it to the poor. What do kids know about spending money? What are you going to do, Homer? Hmm. Hey, Homer, what'd you do? Get a haircut or something? Look closer, Benny.

Oh, I know what it is. You're the biggest man in the world now. And you're covered in gold. Fourteen terat gold? Take a hug, boss. I'm running things now. All hail King Homer. He just is covered in riches and jewels

and crowns. Motivationless evil is the goal of his money. Homer is still covered in gold, but it's actually not the best gold. A 14-carat gold. But the top five animated moments ever in the series for me is the pan up of Homer laughing, covered in jewels and gold. Laughing like a mad king. It's beautiful.

I love it so much. It's my favorite fantasy sequence, maybe tied with what happens when he robs the quickie. Yeah, it's pretty good too. Yeah, and so when they read off the numbers, it's sad that out of 50 picks, Homer doesn't have a 17 or a 3

on one of them not even on one yeah i guess that's all you need i will now draw the first winning number i've got so many tickets i can't lose the first number is 17 you can still win some money if you have five out of six. Woo-hoo! And the second number is three. Oh! Three. Yeah, I knew we wouldn't win. Well, why didn't you tell the rest of us? Why didn't you keep it a secret?

Jesus. He violently throws a TV tray across the room. I forgot how violent he gets in that moment. I don't know about you guys. You had to be ten. This was uncomfortable for me because it's too real. I've definitely seen a father who gets upset about something and not going his way or him being wrong about something.

And instead of taking it with pride or dignity, he lashes out at his family. Who can I blame this on? Especially, you had to be 10. That was kind of like a dark, sad moment. It's the only real dark. I teased the other one, but I just want to say it. It's from the hockey episode.

It's just like, you better win or I'll kill you. Ha ha, dad. And Bart flinching? Yes, as if it's happened before. That episode is the worst. Homer has never been worse than that. That is the ultimate jerkass. One small nitpick.

Did anyone else think the lottery tickets looked weird? I always think they look weird. They're like receipts or something. Well, I think they look like literal Broadway theater tickets. Yeah, maybe something was miscommunicated to the animators. It looks like a small playbill. And quite an act break to say, oh, the dog is dead. Yeah, but before that, the one who wins

just has to be talked about. I love it. And the final number is... 49. 38. 49! Oh my god. I won! I won! Ah! Recapping our day's top story,

the winner of today's state lottery is me. Can we get a shot of me? There you go. In other news, tragic mix-up today in Cleveland. Many people killed. Goodbye!

And the spin on the chair. The animation of him finding out is great to frame through one at a time. It's amazing. It's a beautiful bit. Not only is it a beautiful bit, it's one of the very few

pieces of Simpsons continuity. Because they kept to this, that Ken Brockman is out. I guess he could be as a weatherman. My friend's dad was the most famous weatherman in my town. Oh, really? I mean, he says he has a $500,000 a year job later, but...

It was not a $500,000 a year job. No. Was he still married to Stephanie the Weather Lady, who we barely see? I don't know. I wonder if they were on the... But I do know they visited his house later on, but it's hard to tell if it's the same house or smaller. But I think they did stick with him being super rich or just like him. Oh, he did.

Ken Brockman has been very, very rich ever since. But he says he has a 500K salary, so he's already rich to begin with. It's true. It's true. Especially in a podunk town like Springfield. I could have sworn his massive winning is mentioned again. Yeah. Okay, so in the act the act break with saying,

your dog is dead. Oh, wait, got it? Oh, well, we lost the money, but at least we've still got each other. Hey, the dog's dead. Uh-oh. So he's not breathing. He's not breathing when they draw it.

And then when they come back, he's breathing again. And as a kid, I definitely thought, that's a fucking cheat. You drew him differently. You're just like kathy bates in misery yeah well now i see as a grown-up lisa voices that and says like no he's not dead you lied like you lied to the audience oh is that how you read it that's how i read it now i'm just saying like because the sequence is overly long and i'm like why why i would if i was syndicating the show with more commercials i would cut this part.

But that makes a lot more sense. And then everyone yells at Grandpa and he leaves. I think it was them commentating on like, we did cheat you. We said he was dead and drew him as dead and he isn't. I can definitely read it as that this time. But they got to at least meet the most awesome veterinarian of all time. This is the part of the job I hate.

Hey, you did the best you could. I love animals. I spend my life saving them and they can't thank me. Well, the parrots can, but anyway, let's see what's wrong with this little fella. That's after he does a three-point shot with a hamster into a garbage can. The animation on that, for some reason, is my favorite.

It looks so squishy. It looks like I threw a boglin up against the wall. The foley is great, too. I don't know what they threw against whatever, but this is a parody of the show Ben Casey, which was a doctor show in the 60s. It ran for about six years. The character and the music is a parody of that show. I still have not seen one frame of that show. It might all be on YouTube for all I know, but it's never been.

I mean, when I was watching Nick at Night a lot, I never saw this at all. Yeah, even though it aired like 150-something episodes. My parents were the one. My mom told me, like, oh, that's a Ben Casey guy. I was like, who now? And I was somebody who watched Nick at Night all the time, but it wasn't on Nick at Night. And, yeah, that he's drawn to be the same.

And he would come back in the April Fool's Day episode as the doctor who goes from being a veterinarian to an actual doctor. So he fell out of dentistry school, became a veterinarian, but then actually became a doctor after that. What a path that guy took. Who doesn't have a name, I think? No, but $750 is how much it is. Yeah. Twisted stomach.

I'm afraid that your dog has a twisted stomach. He needs an operation to correct it, or he'll die. How much will it cost? $750. Oh, dear. This is never an easy decision. It's an awful lot of money.

Well, I guess we'll have to talk it over. Talk what over? What's there to talk about? This has not happened to me. I assume you guys may have stories, it looks like. I'm seeing some remembrances happening. Not me. I know my friend remembrances happening. Yeah, yeah. Not me. I know my friend whose mother had a ton of cats.

And cats are abundant and cheap and get sick constantly and are totally not worth saving. And they require very expensive kidney surgery a lot of the time. All the time, yeah. So, yeah, this is something that makes me feel different. My buddy who just texted me yeah they had a they were the family was even

having money problems but the mother's like we gotta save this cat and they do and they whenever you see he used to be like the cat was like

drooling it would like fall off shit it was hilarious it was hilarious I wish they had never changed it and it became okay

and then they referred to it as the $5,000 kitty with anger and vitriol. 750 seems like a steal now, based on what people tell me. 750 is such a specific number that could bankrupt the Simpsons. But I think this is one of the last times they seriously treated the idea of they're out of money and they have to cut back on something. This was a plot in like four other episodes we've done.

The last one was Burnsell's The Plant, in which it's very, very similar in which they all cut back on something. This was a plot in like four other episodes we've done. The last one was Burn Sells the Plant in which it's very, very similar in which they all cut back on something, except in this case, Homer does not drink beer. In that episode, he was like, I'm not doing that. Yeah, in that one and in Lisa's Pony when they're like, you're going to have to stop drinking beer. Nah, we'll be doing that. Wow, okay, so I forgot about that one. I just love his reaction.

I can't tell if they didn't want to animate anything, but you have to stop drinking beer. But so, no, with me, my family, like, we would get the operations. I was a little better. My family was a little better off, but we didn't get pets until, like, well, we had dogs when I was a little kid, and once they both got, like, inoperable, they'd had operations, but neither survived their surgeries. But, very funny.

But then, in my teens, we got these two cats. And they needed surgeries. We got them. And I was definitely on Bart's side then of just like, what's there to talk about? It's a living thing that lives with us. It's our family member. Yeah, we've got to keep it. But now, on the other side of things, it's somebody who would actually have to spend the thousands of dollars.

I don't know what I'd do. I don't even want pets to make that choice. It is a dark way of thinking of just like, well, there's 8 million cats out there. I'll just get another damn cat. But I also love pets, and they are very special. I don't know what I'd do. You're forgetting all about doggy heaven.

I can't help but notice we're leaving the hospital. When's the dog going to get his operation? Later. First, I want to tell you about the most wonderful place in the world, doggy heaven. In doggy heaven, there's mountains of bones, and you can't turn around without sniffing another dog's butt. And all the best dogs are there. Old Sheller and about eight lassies.

Is there a doggy hell? Well, of course. There couldn't be a heaven if there weren't a hell. Who's in there? Oh, Hitler's dog and that dog Nixon had. What's his name? Chester? Checkers.

Yeah. Lisa knows. One of the lassies is in there, too. The mean one. One that mauled to me. This is a very life and health scene in which an adult is lying to a child, and the child is asking questions the adult can't answer. And then he has to keep making new stuff up.

I don't have anywhere else to mention this, but I'm still on my trial of sling television, so I haven't watched television in like six years live. If I'm just working on a laptop, I'll put on TCM all day. And there was a movie called Son of Lassie, I think, one of the first color films. Didn't Lassie start as a series of films before? Okay, I thought so. And Lassie literally fights Nazis.

Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, it's great. It's amazing. It's terrible, but it's great. It's amazing that Lisa knows checkers, which if you're not a political junkie or political historian, you don't know who this is. But this, I believe it was in the run up to Eisenhower with him on that with Richard Nixon as vice presidential candidate with Eisenhower, where they were saying that he was taking bribes.

That was one of the things that even taking kickbacks brought bribes, political payoffs. He had this amazing speech at the time where he talked about how he refuted everything and said the only gift he'd ever gotten was a dog named Checkers, who his kids love. And please don't blame this on old Checkers. But like you said, $700. Honey, $750 is a lot of money. We really can't afford this operation. You're going to just let him die? I know you're upset.

Don't write I'm upset. Bart, watch your language. Oh, you did. Sorry. I'm not going to let our dog die. And that's it. Love that. Also, they would later use, I think it's in season five with the Brad Goodman episode,

where they have a montage of Marge's complaints. I always thought it was cheap that they used that one, of like, Bart, watch your language, because they don't keep the second part of the joke. I forgot about that, yeah. I thought, that's not fair to count that as a Lisa, a Marge complaint. How in the 138th episode spectacular,

and showing signs of horror being stupid, they use Halloween clips? Like, that's off the record, sir. That's inadmissible. One of the best scenes ever that doesn't play well in audio is Homer going to Burns' office. I have a very sick dog.

The tapping of the button is so great, but Mr. Burns on dogs is just like, this is exactly what Harry sure doesn't do as the character anymore. And the way Homer is dragged away by the goons. And it's the same goons he always uses. He's like, oh, well, thanks for your time. But Burns' performance is so good.

What makes a man endanger his job and, yes, even his life by asking me for money? People like dogs, Mr. Burns. Nonsense. Dogs are idiots. Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say? If you did it, sir.

Exactly. You'd be fit to be tied. Dogs. Dogs. Dogs. I think later Burns would pick up on that innuendo, but this time he was just like, no, you agree with me. He was so ready to kill a bunch of greyhounds too later on so i'm not surprised by that though homer just borrowed five thousand dollars from

burn so it's true he wouldn't he couldn't lend him 750 again i wonder if he paid that back you know the continuity of the simpsons or maybe if the the grateful gelding gave him back some money no it's hard to tell it's hard to tell. It's hard to tell. He should have got at least like a $3,000 refund or something. Nothing was wrapped up in a neat little package. The Simpsons will be right back. EV tariffs, solar panels, and much more. Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier, and your world brighter. Find our net zero hub at electricireland.ie. Are you enjoying this episode?

Are you a Santa's Little Helper fan? I know I am. And this is the superior dog episode of the third season. Is it not? Well, I figured if you like dogs or have a dog, you'd also like BarkBox. BarkBox is committed to making doggies happy, and they work with local and independent businesses to achieve a monthly box of goodies for the little puppy in your life.

For you humans out there, BarkBox is a delivery of four to six natural treats and super fun toys curated around a surprise theme each month for the best friend in your life and by that i mean dogs bark box is the joy of a million belly scratchers they ship to the u.s and canada and start as low as twenty dollars and and a modern delight for me is having things shipped to my door that i don't have to think about so if you have a little puppy with this scratchy tum-tum and a cute wittle face, perhaps he'd enjoy a box showing up at the house containing chews, treats, vitamins, toys, all tailored to your dog's size. If your dog has any allergies, know that everything is soy and wheat-free,

and BarkBox can adjust things based on what your dog likes. And of course, you're free to exchange items if anything's not jiving with your pooch. And I wanted to encourage Talking Simpsons listeners to put a wag in their pooches step with a free month of bark box which you'll get by going to get bark box.com slash laser time that's a free month let us know what you think thank you bark box back to the show you like laser time shows then you might like bonus time laser times weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash Lazer Time. Here's a taste of what you've been missing. You know what does deserve a remake is Skate Town USA, a roller disco movie that came out in 1979.

So too late. To take advantage of the roller disco craze as it was dying. Which pretty much died. Totally dead, yeah. This was like the expendables of sitcom actors like late 70s, early 80s. I think they may have, like Scott Baio shows up, and Patrick Swayze in his first movie role is really good. But yeah, it really is an all-star cast.

There's Scott Baio, Horshack's in there, Flip Wilson, Billy Barty. A lot of dead people. Like all of these people who had such notoriety In the late 70s early 80s And the star of it is this like Fucking waspy dunderhead He looks just like The person

He looks like teenage Mark Hamill But like if you just pinched Like on x y coordinates and just stretched him more And didn't let him actually age Mario 64 And then had a huge He-Man mane for hair like on X, Y coordinates and just stretched him more and didn't let him actually age. Like the beginning of Mario 64? Yes. And then had a huge He-Man mane for hair. You're supposed to be like, yay him.

And then Patrick Swayze rolls in and like, you can hear all the women even in the audience go like, oh man. And it's like, even as a guy, I'm like, I would rather fuck that guy. Like, let's be real. Like that dude looks better, dances better, better actor. Why am I rooting for this goober hero?

Like who cares? Get bonus time. Laser Time's weekly full-length uncensored and ad-free Patreon exclusive podcast. As well as weekly full-length movie commentaries, wrestling and cartoon video commentaries, physical rewards, the first season of Talking Simpson, and more at patreon.com slash laser time. Starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. So this episode is full of callbacks.

That's what I was going to say. Like the Bill Cosby book in the fire straight from Saturdays of Thunder. And then also when they have the... I mean, they have a bunch of cutaways to previous dog stuff. And they have the Michael Jackson Expressway is featured in. Oh, right. Yeah.

Swartzwelder County. And when they put up the lost dog signs... This is getting way ahead of ourselves. But when they put up the lost dog signs, it covers up Skinner's Where Have You Seen Me thing from Bart to the Murderer. That's right. Not noticing. I feel like they were more devoted in these early seasons to being like, we can keep track but when they put up the lost dog signs it covers up skinners where have you seen me thing that's right i feel like they were more devoted in these early seasons to being like we can keep track of things that happened and i i remember them being interviewed at the time about them and they were they were talking about it in regards to vcrs because they were learning that more people had

vcr so they would hide things so people would pause and rewind and and they had they called them vcr gags in the in the article yeah, and Burns has conquered the show at this point. The writers are so in love with him and just like, could we get Burns in here again? Could we get Burns? He is kind of forced into this episode. I like the resolution, but it's like, it had to be Burns, I guess.

I guess, yeah. Well, first of all, the Simpsons have to make a shitload of sacrifices to afford the operation for SLH, as he's called on popular message boards. I'm afraid we're just going to have to make a few sacrifices. Homer, you're going to have to give up beer for a while. Bart, from now on, you'll have to get your hair cut for free at Springfield Barber College. No problemo.

I'm going to give up buying my weekly lottery ticket, and I found a way to stretch the food budget. Fried chicken night will now be organ meat night. Ham night will be spam night. And pork chub night will now be chub night. Chub? I don't even know what that is. Lisa, I'm afraid we'll have to stop

getting you those volumes of Encyclopedia Generica from the grocery store. But Mom, next week is volume four, Copernicus through Elephantiasis. By the way, Lisa had the best Lisa's stuff is the most expensive A weekly encyclopedia Did you guys know about this whole phenomenon

Of encyclopedias being sold through grocery stores I remember seeing them at the grocery store It wasn't being done at this point I don't think It was, at this time my mom was buying them And she did the whole set, it was like 10 bucks a week And you get the whole set and I was like Art is imitating life. This is actually happening in the outside of my town.

I didn't realize that. I just remember the Encyclopedia Britannica. Oh, that nerdy jerkwad. Wikipedia has completely replaced it. I also like Homer. I didn't know what Chubb is. It's a thing? Yeah, it's a fish.

It's just a cheap fish like chub of mackerel i learned that from playing like animal crossing and games like that where you catch chubs oh that's right yeah so it's just cheap fish replacing pork with cheap fish i don't even know what that is and i think now the cheap fish would probably like be tilapia or something yeah or just like tuna feels like the cheapest you know when i was like number crunching from this knowing how much drinking hom does, compared to like, okay, Bart gets air-conditioned once a month, maybe. That's pretty extravagant.

It's like 10 bucks. But even then, meanwhile, Marge maybe spends, what, $5 a week on a lottery ticket? $1. $1. She says ticket singular. Wow. And meanwhile, Homer, his drinking, the beer has to be 90% of that. I'm guessing it's probably like $100 a week.

I think it's the encyclopedias. You think so? Because I remember like, come on, let's get an Encyclopedia Britannica. They don't tell you the price in the commercial because this is how much it is. And I was like, Homer, whoo! That's way too much. No, no, no, no. I don't know why I have this clip, but Kent Brockman returns to his job.

Oh, so great. Yes, I'm back. Kent Brockman is not the kind of man who would leave a $500,000 a year job just because he won a lottery. Hey, I'm a journalist. Well, he's got all the money in the world, but there's one thing he can't buy. What's that? A dinosaur. Way too retroactively to get that line of the show.

That's the joke. The thing is, I mean, that's a funny joke, but I think that beat makes it even better. Just like Homer just like, hmm. He has to think of something. There are very few beats like that. You can't say love. But the animation was not a place for beats like that

or that kind of pacing. It never was until The Simpsons. So they get the surgery. They're happy for a little bit, and then it starts sitting in all the sacrifices. It's easy to say you're going to make those sacrifices. But when you actually have to make them, it kind of sucks. Everyone's resentful.

Lisa has to use a copy of something she found at the bus station. I know you can't understand me, but you're a lousy dog and I hate you. Oh, man. Not now. Can't you see I'm reading a third-rate biography of Copernicus I found at the bus station? Good dog. Now, if I was Marge and knew I didn't win the lottery, I'd have lost my mind. I would have been consumed by anger.

I could have had $40,000. Did we miss the fact that she could have won her numbers were the ones that won okay she would have won forty thousand forty thousand still nothing to see that for the simpsons i eat that shit for breakfast i have a patreon i paid those that in taxes this year i think yeah on one podcast and also i just paid like six times that just to the irs for a monthly bill and i also also do appreciate that they made sure to stick in a joke here about how the lottery doesn't help schools. Like, it is such a crock of shit when they say,

and it goes to schools, but my understanding is that in most states where they say that, they have cut budget from other sections to go to schools, and it just replaces it. It's not like an avalanche of money to schools. Schools get nothing we for the price of like one airplane that will fight no one we could have work in the rain yes we could have more competitive schools but who cares and just uh it was so fulfilling to see

skinner just like racer yeah one just him calling out their shit. Fight back, Skinner. And then they still aired it, though, too. They cut. They cut. It's great. I love the cut. Six for five. That is second reference to his time in the novel. This is great. I know.

For some reason, I totally forgot that they bring Burns back. Yeah, he brings Burns back because Burns got an old dog named Crippler who can't exactly be released as efficiently as his other hounds. What's wrong with Quigley? He's getting on, sir. He's been here since the late 60s. Oh, yes. I'll never forget the day he bagged his first hippie.

That young man didn't think it was too groovy. I love that. He's saying groovy. Conservatively speaking, that dog is 23 years old in 1992. If he was born in 69, i maybe he's 22 gonna hit 23 in a week yeah and so also yeah so sensual helper has escaped because he's escaped and then burns finds him at the pound and becomes his hound but it's also weird that burns went to the pound himself uh and speaking of callbacks that's another one too yes when he's there he's wearing

his assassins because I think at that point it's the animators caring more. They're just like, oh, he says he's got his running shoes on. Let's draw him with his old running shoes. He's filled with callbacks. That's crazy. Yeah, two specifically dog of death in the case of assassins. When the scene started, I'm like, why is he wearing the assassins? And then it's like, oh, you've got

your running shoes on. Yeah. I was so ready to call this a piece of reused animation from that episode, but no. No, and that's also, yeah, when he's lost, that's where you see the Michael Jackson Expressway

on the map, which has some little cute map jokes for SLH. What was this? Schwarzwelder Field or whatever. It says Schwarzwelder County. Yeah, I saw that.

Written by Schwarzwelder. John Schwarzwelder, written 40, 59 episodes of the show. Yeah, actually, in a previous zoom out of the counties, it was shown to be that. And, yeah, he's written 59 episodes of the show, more than I think anybody still, even with 500-something episodes. Maybe Matt Selman has a beat.

He's been on the show for like 20 years now. I think he's catching up with him, but I also feel like that's like saying, like, you know, I don't know, somebody broke the home run records when they changed the rules or something. Oh, man, he's not going to be a guest anymore. Some sort of sports reference. I didn't mean to say that, but Schwarzwilder did it when it was pure, man. Quick question for you guys. Was this the first time we actually saw Burns release the hounds?

No, no, no. Thanksgiving. Barbers on Thanksgiving. I just thought of that. Which is another kind of callback later when Bart can't get out. I think he was thinking, like, it almost felt like he had the sense memory of, I jumped through, like he's putting his hands against the hard wall, like, no, I jumped through a bush here.

I got out, I remember. Man, they were really thinking about The Simpsons history with this episode. I'm surprised. It's even the same cut in of the scary dog face when Bart's about to be attacked. That's right, yeah. But anyway, yeah, they're training him, and meanwhile, they're looking for him. There was the callback

to Skinner being missing. I did also love Barney's apartment. I'm looking for my dog, too. Do we hear, like, a woof or something? Yeah, I thought so. It's like muffled woof. Oh, and oh my god, I forgot to mention this in the previous episode. One of my favorite visual gags in the last episode, Separate Vocations, is kind of called back to in this one.

When Marge sees the cake destroyed and like, bad dog. And then Bart shows her the series of photos of Homer tearing apart the cake. That is so fucking funny. Devouring it like a lion on the Serengeti. Just leaning into it. There's like pieces flying everywhere. And so in this episode it's the same deal

of Marge looking at photos of Homer that embarrass her and just are going like mmm, er, ooh. Like her just reacting to, but it's Homer battling Santa's

little helper. I think some of them may be a little too mean. Like him kicking the dog. The boxing, like the parody of the boxing kangaroo photo. I like that one a lot. But him just like kicking the dog across the room. Like that's a little too far for Homer. The boxing, like the parody of the boxing kangaroo photo, I like that one a lot. But him just like kicking the dog across the room, like that's a little too far

for Homer. Yeah, and even the one picture they do pick is like just right before Homer strangles the dog. Fingers coming into the frame. Fingers coming in the dog. And that's all H looking at him. But Homer has a change of heart. He misses the dog. I'm starting to think we'll never see him again. That was his

dish. And that was his leash. And that's where he took a whiz on the rug. Homer, get a hold of yourself. Even if he has passed on, there's no reason to cry. Remember, doggy heaven? Homer! There is no such place.

Or, to put it another way, there is. I love it. So the Clockwork Orange stuff, too. I don't think I'd see Clockwork Orange for another five or six years. And so I definitely didn't get this. There's somebody in that footage that looks like a specific caricature. There is. The dog being held up by its ears.

It's Lyndon Johnson holding up a dog. President Lyndon Baines Johnson. Do you know the context behind that photo? All I know about him is that he loves Vietnam and had a big dick. I think he came under fire. I guess he does. I think he came under fire for that picture, but I guess he was like, well, the dog loves it or whatever. I mean, I just took that as like – How do you know that he loves it?

He keeps on living. He's an old man, and in his generation, they treated dogs harsher or something. It's like it's fun. But, yeah, it's just this picture of him holding a beagle up by his ears. I mean, the beagle's feet are on the ground. It's not like he's ripping his ears off. But, yeah, it's a famous photo, at least to the generation of the Simpsons. And speaking of his dick, Chris,

if you go online, you can hear a lot of great audio of him talking about his balls, right? These things are really riding up around my balls. Johnson, it's not just a clever name. What a miserable guy. But he did sign the Civil Rights Act. Yeah, true.

He did good things, too. But anyway. No president can be that ugly again. That's all I'm saying. I also really like the first person view of SLH attacking Burns from poca, poca, poca. And his like Bruce eye. Poca, poca, poca. Yeah, Burns.

And he chews out Burns' stomach of like, that's what they will do. They will rip out the entrails of a real person. I like Burns as if that was a Girl Scout. I would have been bothered by now. Bothered by now. Yeah. I didn't grab a clip of it. Just him in his life-preserving chamber.

Like there's a young boy. Bruce Burns! I like his incubation chamber, yeah. Smithers in a Girl Scout costume. Is that another gay joke? Now that I think about it. It feels lightly a gay joke. It's hard to, like, the lie between sycophant and gay is very blurry in these episodes right now.

It's a feminization of him, to be sure. And I think there's at least comedy they're looking for in feminizing him like that. And I also did like Bart visiting Kent Brockman's estate. And the llama just bit Teli'i long. Good. Oh, good. But yeah, a cute ending where it hits Santa's little helper remembers at the last moment. Oh, this is Bart.

And saves Bart from being involved. Bart goes door to door looking for Santa's little helper and happens to come to Bert's door. However far away that is from Evergreen Terrace. Yeah, it's the corner of Croceus and Mammon. That's right, yeah. Again, they showed it. They kind of dropped that running joke. And everybody wants to pet Santa's Little Helper again.

Oh, I love that line. Let me pet him again! You already petted him for ten minutes! I know, I want to pet him again! You can pet the cat. The cat? What's the point? Get the cat out of the way! Get the cat out of the way! Get the cat What's the point? Get the cat out of the way. I want to be a dog. I'm tired of working.

That text over the screen line, it's a little weak. Like someone shot a duck and a cat got sick. I get what you're trying to do. I mean, it's a parody of No Animals Were Harmed in the filming of this. But you guys,

Simpsons themselves have done this better. I did like when Marge indicates the cat, you get petted. Even Snowball is like, presents herself, like, yes, pet me. But Snowball, too, gets such shit. It looks like she was presenting for something more than petting.

Well, Al Jean and Mike Reese talk on the commentary a lot. Like, we were so worried about these shows that we put in too many jokes sometimes. And that end, you know, thing at the end did really feel like them trying a little too hard. Like, no, the episode could have just ended. You didn't need this, you know, superimposed text. Well, I noticed in this batch we just did, and especially in this episode, there were a few scenes that as a kid I was like, why did they add this old, this extra scene with reused animation?

There were a few of those, yeah. And I think I now see it from a storytelling standpoint of them just saying like, the specific one I think of is they're sad about Santa's little helper. And then Bart says, well, I'm not giving up. I'm going to knock on every door I can, but it's season two footage. And I now see that they did that from a storytelling standpoint of, they seem so sad, and then they're going to cut to

Bart knocking on doors, and it doesn't naturally flow. It seems like they've given up, so you need a scene of Bart saying, well, I haven't given up, and that's why in this next scene, you're going to see me knocking on doors. It's not as glaring as other reused animation would be, and has been since. The whole, whole santa's little helper once he escapes like everything

seems so abrupt yeah because like that's what the show's about but it doesn't really that doesn't really get there into the last five minutes like a minute 18 of 22 it's it's sped up a bit but i wouldn't have cut any of that great lottery stuff to just have them set i mean it feels more like a season one thing of like, the dog is lost instead of season three feels like, let's make fun of the lottery

and people's mania over it. But above all, we all agree it's better than Dog of Death. Yes. I totally agree. We voted our least favorite. You mean Bart's dog gets an F.

Oh, sorry. Yeah. Dog of Death is better than Bart's dog gets an F. Sorry. Bart's dog gets an F. Yeah. Or Tracy Ullman.

Every time we said it on the Bart's... Son of a bitch. We said it so many times on the Bart's dogs get an F. Fuck Tracy Ullman. Every time we said it on the Bart's... Son of a bitch. God, show. We said it so many times on the Bart's Dogs Get an F episode. Like, Dog of Death is better. And every time I thought of a joke, I was thinking of the Dog of Death equivalent. Yeah, it's like, where's the bad haircut?

Where's the encyclopedia generica? Oh, right. But I think this could be the last thing that's a little helper show until, like, season eight, maybe. Until the laddie one, perhaps. I can't think of another one. Maybe Stampy counts. Stampy laddie one perhaps so. I can't think of another one. Maybe Stampy counts. Stampy a little bit yeah. Actually before that there's Two Dozen and One Dirt

Greyhound which that's a season 6. You miss casual sex. But we'll get to that later. So thanks so much for listening folks. This has been Talking Simpsons. I've been your host Bob Mackie. If you want to find me look me up on Twitter. I am Bob Servo. I also write for USGamer.net and SomethingAw Bob Mackie. If you want to find me, look me up on Twitter. I am Bob Servo. I also write for

usgamer.net and somethingawful.com. You can listen to my podcast, Retronauts. It's a classic gaming podcast. It's really great. It comes out every Monday. Go to retronauts.com or usgamer.net to listen to it. Please do. Everybody else, what do you do? Where can we find you? Lasertimepodcast.com. It's where this podcast and a bunch of others live,

as well as some articles that we write. On occasion, somewhere a while back, I did something about, what is it, 10 Things You Didn't Know About Roger Rabbit. And no, it is not a listicle with two paragraphs. It is thousands of words with images you've never seen before, including things Disney doesn't want you to remember.

I thought I knew everything, and my mind was blown. Ah, thank you very much. I was ready to outnerd you, Chris. It's my favorite movie, and I can't stop learning things about it. I love it. And if you want to hear the first season of this, this is supported by Patreon.com slash LazerTime.

And I want to say, LazerTime is the show that we did that sort of started all this, and it picks a singular pop culture topic, and we do research, we grab sound clips, a lot like this. And Bobby was on one that we did about cartoons based off live action movies. For some reason, that was a huge thing. That's an exciting one.

A much bigger thing in the 1990s. And there's also our weekly exploration of things that happened 30 years ago, 20 years ago, and 10 years ago. I'm talking, of course, about 30, 2010, a pop culture time machine where you pick a certain week and talk about the news decades ago.

It's always a ton of fun. I really enjoyed the one we just did talking about Project Echo. Really good. And also you can find me on Twitter H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G I don't have an outlet to say that as much anymore so I gotta get it out there. Thanks so much for listening everyone. We'll be back next week with the

beautiful Lurleen Lumpkin. See you then. Wow. Infotainment.