Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Girly Edition With Kat Bailey

Episode Date: June 12, 2019

This episode focuses on women in the media, so we welcome back our friend/USG Editor-In-Chief Kat Bailey to chat about journalism! Lisa gets her own news show but quickly gets overshadowed by Bart's empty emotionality. Somehow that all lead to a deadly battle in a junkyard, but no one remembers any of that plot because this is ALSO the episode where Homer gets a helper monkey! Pray for Mojo as you listen along to this week's podcast!! Support this podcast and get dozens of bonus episodes by visiting Patreon.com/TalkingSimpsons and becoming a patron!

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I heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, ahoy, everybody. Welcome to Talking Simpsons, where we tug at the heart and fog the mind. I'm your host, the temporarily insane Bob Mackie, and this is our chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Who else is here with me today? Henry Gilbert, and I can't wait to eat that monkey. And who else do we have? Mattel and Mars Bar, Quick Energy, Chocobot, our enthusiast, Cat Bailey. And who else do we have?

Today's episode is Girly Edition. Grilled cheese. Today's episode aired on April 19th, 1998. And as always, Henry will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real world history. Oh, my God. Oh, boy, Bobby. The cable channel Toon Disney launches. And their first cartoon is Sorcerer's Apprentice from Fantasia.

Jay Moore plays a disobedient parent in the hit film Pauly. And previous Simpsons guest Linda McCartney passes away from breast cancer at age 56. She will be honored in the next episode of The Simpsons. And yeah, Toon Disney then turned into Disney XD, the action channel for the kids. I didn't know Toon Disney went back this far. It wasn't on my cable channel, but I just know the Toon Disney logo just from... YouTube? Yeah, YouTube to pretty much any show that Disney doesn't put on DVD. It's like, bonkers, time to watch the Toon Disney logo fight version of that.

Yeah, you find out a lot of shows had their last run on Toon Disney. Well, I mean, that's where they go to die before then. They're just not cool at all anymore and no longer profitable to Disney. They just get shoved into the dustiest corner of the Disney vault. I had to rack my brain for a moment to remember what Polly was, and then I remembered. It was the one with the talking bird, right?

Yes, yes. I haven't seen it, because I was too nervous about the bird possibly being... It's such a good movie, Bob. Really? I didn't want the bird to be hurt in any way. It tugged at my heartstrings. Did it fog your mind?

And fogged my mind. It's a kid's movie about... and the bird's the main character. I'm sure the bird's fine. I'm just happy Jay Moore was getting one. What's funny is that he does, I think it's just him doing his Buddy Hackett impression. You're right, yeah. As a bird. That's right.

It's maybe like 70% of the way there, but yeah. When I was writing down the Pauly movie before I looked it up, I thought in my memory, it was like, yeah, Buddy Hackett played a bird. Like, no, no, no. I had to think at a time. I lived through a time when there were Buddy Hackett impressions. Yes, yeah. I can't believe it.

Jay Moore can't stop doing it. I mean, that's why Buddy Hackett had a minor role on his show Action, which ran on Fox the next year. Is Jay Moore a fellow podcaster? Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Everybody's a podcaster now. We're in Is Jay Moore a fellow podcaster? Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Everybody's a podcaster now. We're in direct competition with each other. Fight, fight, fight. Actually, so Kat said everyone is a podcaster

now. Kat, the difference is they fell down into podcasting and we fell up into podcasting. That's true. That's history. Now Kat Bailey is back. Welcome, Kat. Hi, everybody. What was Kat's last episode? My Sister, My Sitter? Was that the last one? I think it was. That might have been the one. No, no. Oh, no. Bart Starr. Bart Starr, Kat. Hi, everybody. What was Kat's last episode? My Sister, My Sitter? Was that the last one? That might have been the one.

No, no. Oh, no. Bart Starr. Bart Starr, yeah. He tried for football. Now we trade on your expertise as a woman in journalism. If it's not sports, it's a Lisa episode. That's what I always say. Well, for listeners who maybe are not into the games press, they should know that you

have a background as a journalist and a woman in that world as well. I do, yes. I actually did go to journalism school. I have a degree in everything, but then, like most failed journalists, I went into games journalism, but mostly because I liked video games. I thought, I can write about these. This is easy. And here I am. When you saw kids news on the show, did it make you want to get in? Or were you already thinking about being a journalist at that time? I must have been, because around 1998 was about the time that I was in high school, and I was starting to think about my future career prospects. And I think I was giving up on my previous ambition to be a pilot. At one point,

I was like, I want to be a pilot. And there was another point where I was like, I want to be a computer programmer. And then I was like, I actually am terrible at both of these things. What am I good at? Well, I'm okay at writing, I suppose, and that's how I ended up becoming a journalist. You could play video games and then describe them. And give opinions on them. You think, you go into journalism

school thinking, oh, I'm a good writer, I can be a journalist. And then you discover that being a good writer has very little to do with being a good journalist, actually. Well, now you're all the way up at the top at your own website. I do. US Gamer, the editor-in-chief. Yes, I rose to the top of the food chain on that one with schmaltzy stories about, I don't know, video games or something. What am I covering again?

What is the Kent's People of Video Games? Oh, the Kent's People of Video Games. I don't think people really do those per se. Hey, you know, that's an entry point for any journalist out there. I don't think public interest stories get clicks on video game websites unless they're destroying people. I will say that when I was looking at Bart in this episode, I thought a lot of live streamers. I thought there is a show that I enjoy called Kind of Funny, but I think of how they're like an entertainment show more than a news show and that kind of thing.

Yeah. I mean, that is what Bart does. You know, I just thought of the Bart's people, Kent's people equivalent. It's a story about when it's like 80-year-old grandma plays this video game. Oh, yeah. Those are the's a stories about like when it's like 80 year old grandma plays this video game. Oh yeah. Those are the human interest stories. Oh yeah.

No, that's totally, or Skyrim grandma. Skyrim grandma. Yeah. Or, uh, as,

as a weeb, I really love dragon quest grandma. She's pretty cool. They're just all grandmas. What's going on here? Well, I want to point out number one. I surprised Henry with this before the recording and I don't blame you for not knowing this.

The name Girly Edition is a take on the CBS show Early Edition about a man who was delivered tomorrow's paper ahead of time because he had a deal with the printing press. No, he got a magical newspaper. Yeah. It was a magic newspaper show. I remember that. Yeah. Yeah. It ran for four years.

It was the Game of Thrones of its time. Everyone talked about it. That will be only the first time I mention Game of Thrones. It will come up again for a very important reason. Oh, boy. You ran for four years. It was the Game of Thrones of its time. Everyone talked about it. That will be only the first time I mention Game of Thrones. It will come up again for a very important reason. Oh, boy. You'll find out later. Well, I mean, CBS really had the market cornered on schmaltzy, sort of religious things. Wait, did God give him that newspaper?

I mean, God. This was around the time of Touched by an Angel. Yeah. God didn't not give him that newspaper. I mentioned it crossed over with Walker at some point. There was a show just recently. It was like God Texted Me or something. Oh, yeah.

No, God Friended Me. God Friended Me. Texted Me would have been the one 10 years ago. Now it's got... I think that show got canceled very quickly. God Swiped... What is it? Left or right?

It's right. Yeah. God Swiped Right. No. And then it's about how he's like getting back together with his dad who was a preacher and he's a this actually the main character on that show is a podcaster so we should watch it oh i bet it's very faithful well technically we're all godless creeps they can't make a show about god and podcasting uh and uh well well this episode

though is written by a new writer oh yes i have a writer's corner prepared ahead of time. So writer's corner for Larry Doyle, who wrote for The Simpsons for about four years. He only wrote during Mike Scully's time. So this is his first episode on The Simpsons. He is not a Harvard grad. So that's your first surprising fact for him. Is that surprising? Because Mike Scully seems to have a thing against the Harvard jerks.

Well, I don't want to say that. I think he just didn't go to Harvard with Harvard guys, so he doesn't hire his Harvard friends. Yeah, he's just not hiring his friends. So he went to the University of Illinois. He got a start in writing as an editor at the Chicago-based First Comics, which I've never heard of. I don't know if Henry, if you've heard of First Comics. No, never heard of that one. A smaller print comics line.

After this, he worked in publishing. He was the first writer of the unsuccessful pogo reboot in 1989 pogo is one of those things that i know people love but i liked it better when it was called bone and written 30 years later so bone is basically pogo meets lord of the rings kind of that's so much better by having that lord of the rings there and sorry i looked a little at his career too like he wrote for i just thought it was interesting he wrote for like new yorker and spy and esquire like yeah so he was in that elite east coast media yeah well that well for this one all about journalism he has like i mean he wasn't a reporter for those things he was you know more of a column writer and kemp brockman's like but he's not the boss of me so he went from the high

class to the low class because he was the his first role on tv was writing for beavis and butthead wow just like david collins yes exactly and from there he wrote uh this will be this will apply to this episode so he wrote two rugrats in adaria uh offhand i forget which uh daria he wrote but one of the rugrats he wrote was uh naked tommy where tommy was obsessed with being naked and getting all the babies to take their clothes off yeah can't hear that one now, that's for sure. So he left The Simpsons around 2001. He wrote some bad movies, including Duplex and I Love You, Beth Cooper, starring Paul Rust. It was based on his book by the same name. You're just jealous of Paul Rust.

Yes, as a Paul Rust-style man, just unrealistic. I had forgotten what Duplex was. I had to look that up. It's like Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore. They're a wacky couple and he also wrote a looney tunes back in action because of that he was the writer of a bunch of unreleased warner brothers theatrical shorts i think they were eventually put on some dvds but there was going to be a new line of warner brothers shorts and why have artists write

them get a new yorker writer to write them he's so smart wow i had no clue you know i i had heard looney tunes back in action is better than space jam i've heard it's really good yeah but uh those to write them. He's so smart. Wow, I had no clue. You know, I had heard Looney Tunes Back in Action is better than Space Jam. I've heard it's really good. But those new shorts I heard were not good and because Looney Tunes Back in Action

failed at the box office, they did not release them immediately. They held onto them for a while and they were never theatrically made or shown. Man, I gotta see those. I'd never heard of those. And the last thing he worked on

as of this recording is the TV Land slash Nick at Night. I have no idea how those things are different, but it was a TV Land show called Instant Mom starring one of the sister-sister twins. So I think it's Tia Mowry plays a mom. I don't know where Tamara is. Yeah, what the, huh? I don't know where the little brother is, but yeah, apparently there was a show called Instant Mom he wrote for and that is the life of larry doyle so with us tv land it was tv land makes original yeah of course it does well hot hot in cleveland was created by wife of simpsons legend jeff martin

that's right so i think at first there was a nick at night channel that became tv land or something like that because uh reading about this is very important for our listeners. So reading about Instant Mom, it was first a Nick at Night show, then it became a TV Land show. I don't know what that means. It must have transferred over. Well, so for non-millennials, Nick at Night was just the name of the programming block after they realized kids weren't watching anymore. So it started on Nickelodeon where they just licensed the cheapest shit like donna reed and uh and just put it on after and that started doing so well with nostalgic boomers that then they started getting more and more stuff mary tyler more the uh dick van dyke show all these shows and it got so popular that when they needed to they wanted to make a second channel that was

just all the reruns all the previously viewed television and then thanks to the way channels just float around and have to eventually make new things about a decade ago they started making original sitcoms for it that are just in the style of an old sitcom like that they even have betty white yeah they hire people you remember yeah yeah and they fully mal valerie bertinelli all the bests uh and so but i never heard of that instant mom show but i guess hiring one of the sister sister kids is another way of like getting old someone you remember now but now it's us not boomers that they're trying we're becoming the old people hey i'm sorry that's such a stupid idea your tv land air old shows and their target audience will watch their old shows when they want to watch old shows.

And when they want to watch new shows that are in their particular demographic, they'll turn on CBS. Well, in this streaming age, though, it's not as attractive just to flip on a channel and be like, what old rerun is on here? It's okay. TVland can die. It's fine. I think the true Nick at Night channel is, what's it called, MeTV. Oh, yes. It's for me yeah i think well larry doyle when he left it looked like he left hollywood for a little bit and then like became a television or like he just wrote novels that then would become movies like he i love you beth cooper was seemed like a

semi-autobiographical book by him yeah and then they licensed to make it fun and he wrote the screenplay i've heard really bad things about the movie i don't know if the book i heard it really sucks yeah i bet the movie sucks too but uh what paul rust is so funny but like they wasted the casting of this very funny comedy writer and performer that feels like it was probably paul rust's first like big role because he's playing a high school student i believe so yeah yeah and uh well and also with hayden penitentiary playing uh she also is forever cast as a high school student i believe so yeah yeah and uh well and also with hayden penetieri playing uh she also is forever cast as a high school student well and also this episode directed

by mark kirkland i wanted to bring up the eric stefani connection to this one if that name sounds familiar to you that is the founding member of no doubt his sister took over the band uh but when no doubt wasn't doing so good and socal he went back to his other talent animation and he worked eric stefani on the earliest years of simpson specifically claskey chupo and he was a layout artist i think primarily there they even told funny stories about how they knew he was going to quit when he got like a gold record delivered to his office uh but mark kirkland who we interviewed and had been on the show since season two longtime friends with stefani he says they asked him to come on one

more time because he's just so good at drawing monkeys that he's like this would be our layout artist to do the monkeys here though also uh assistant director matt nastick credited is very important to the monkey drawings in here that mark kirkland specifically shouts out that he was inspired by the monkey in our gang shorts oh yeah yeah and i think this episode is mostly remembered for the monkey stuff not necessarily for the uh lisa stuff poor lisa he did a great job with the monkey to be honest mojo is so funny yeah and physical comedy how can you care about you know kids news when there's a monkey jumping around and eating pizza? Like, that's just cool. That's funny is I actually

saw this episode when it aired. One of the few Simpsons episodes that I saw when it aired. And I remember at the time it was actually praised pretty highly as a like a really lucid criticism of local news in particular. And the media absolutely loves commentary about the media. So I'm not surprised that they came out and praised for this particular episode. Yeah, yeah. It's like the Oscars giving Oscars to movies about movies. Journalists love patting themselves on the back. They all love The Post as well. Oh, yes. Well, the critics said award shows where award shows win awards.

Well, I think this commentary on journalism is interesting i mean local news has only gotten worse in all the ways this episode makes fun of it i think ever i've said this before on here but the only times i see local news is like visiting my parents and it's like the most terrifying thing i've ever seen oh yeah like it it's made for older people to be scared of their communities really or but also to hear how awesome cops are and how they don't shoot people uh but that's that's kind of uh and then you get some of the lighter side i miss the news you can use like consumer uh advocate type dudes or a nice like a water skiing squirrel to take you out let's see

at their best uh local news can be recording reporting on actual local issues and doing actual good investigative journalism because that kind of grassroots journalism is really super important um and then you get to see local personalities having a platform and everything and people care about what's happening at their worst they're extremely formulaic you got there was, when Sinclair was in the news. Oh, yeah, yeah. Gawker Media did that whole thing where they took all of the different readings

of people reading the mandatory op-ed together and just put them all side by side. And it was terrifying how formulaic it was. They all have to talk about how, like, some people are being disloyal to our country. Yeah, pretty much. Some people. Yeah.

Well, that's another difference in time 21 years later after this episode. The media consolidation is way worse than it was in 1998. And so you end up with like... We were fighting about it in 98, though, too. Oh, yeah. Stuff like Clear Channel had taken over all the radio stations and all of the uh all the consolidation was definitely happening it's unfortunate because monopolization is a real scourge on our system and it's gotten exponentially worse over the past 20

years well it's also why there's fewer original reporting done these days because it's just newsrooms keep shrinking and shrieking and it's just shared and Sinclair things that are just written by political ideologues anyway just to be said or they have to like host Sebastian Gorka talking about something like just his clip everywhere the doors fit his head in the studio the dragon of Budapest I was in journalism school in 2001 to 2005 so we talked about this stuff a lot, a lot of the newspaper versus broadcast, the rise of USDA Today and that kind of thing. And whenever broadcast news came up, it was often focusing on local news

and particularly the problem of they would race through the initial headlines where it would be five seconds, here's a headline, here's another sentence, keep going as fast as possible. Here's the sports highlights, here's some headline here's another sentence keep going as fast as possible here's the sports highlights here's some new weather and then here comes the super schmaltzy feature at the end that makes everybody go ah and then it's over and you've learned nothing you've learned nothing

yeah i the funny thing is this was so this was made in the 90s and it was tv and newspapers the internet was not a thing not the internet was like the Drudge Report. Internet, eh? So that was what newspaper journalists were being salty about at the time. TV shows are completely... They're just stupid crap that is not informative at all. And then the internet showed up and killed them both. Well, I think...

Actually, yeah, you mentioned Drudge Report, Bob. We're like two years away from Homer starting the Drudge Report. That's right. Well, I think, actually, yeah, you mentioned Drudge Report, Bob. We're like two years away from Homer starting the Drudge Report. That's right. There's a parody. But this is like early, early. Drudge Report was one of the first. Yeah, yeah. I mean, he was, I believe, a key component

in the Clinton scandal. That's right, yeah. People like Bill Simmons were still on AOL at the time. Oh my god, wow. I always forget that Bill still on AOL at the time. Oh, my God. Wow. I always forget that Bill Simmons goes back that far. It's like, you just sound like him, Jeff Keighley. You have a job for life if you were there at the start of websites. But I like both those guys.

I am not. I hate them. Good podcasting. And also, this episode has one debut and a second appearance of a proto version. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to talk about this. So I think it's been a while since we did that podcast, but on Itchy and Scratchy and

Poochie, we talked about Lindsay Nagel, who is not named in this episode either, but I believe I said her real life name is Lindsay Nagel, the person she's based off of. Actually, that's wrong. She's actually based on Sue Nagel, who uh now dana gould's xy who speaks very highly of yes yeah but uh she was an agent at the time and i believe she was probably the agent of somebody on the staff or perhaps a few people on the staff but uh eventually over time she became the president of hbo and she is the one person there who believed in game of thrones she was like nobody believes in this but i. And she also greenlit things like Girls,

say whatever you want about that, I've never seen it, and Veep, which I've heard is also good. Yeah. So yeah, Dana Gould gives her a lot of credit for making wise decisions at HBO. She reminds me of the executive from Nickelodeon who believed in Ren and Stimpy and that kind of thing. Oh yeah, yeah, Vanessa Coffey.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, the Lindsay Nagle character, she is such a specific type of female executive that I feel like they are more often than not mocking instead of celebrating. But Simpsons mocks everybody. But she has very certain female executive, television executive energy of the 90s. She has to be like in your face and very pushy because that's the only way she can be heard in meetings and everything. Very buzzwordy. I mean, I think she's very typical of an executive from that time in that she is constantly throwing out empty buzzwords that really mean absolutely nothing and going for

the lowest common denominator, which makes a lot of sense. She loves Zork. Who doesn't love Zork? And also the first appearance of Crazy Cat Lady. Yeah, that's true. She has a name. Hello. We'll get to that later. She becomes a real gill with a backstory and frequent appearances. Honestly, I think they overdo that. And you did mention Rugrats.

This is a very Rugrats episode too, isn't it? Oh my god, yeah. You could totally imagine an episode of Rugrats where all the babies start their own news show and Angelica comes in and ruins it. Yeah, it's just like, I mean, a lot of the jokes are like, put kids in these adult situations and there's like corollaries for everything. So, I mean, a lot of humor can come out of that, but it is like of that mold, the Rugrats mold. And, you know, Bob's Burgers 2 does a lot. Bob's Burgers 2 does that a lot. Yeah, yeah. They even have

the journalism episode where they go on and have their own news story. Oh, yeah, that's right. Tina's trying to find the Phantom Pooper in that one.

Yes, yeah. Last bit of background, though, and needed context for this, is 1996, the FCC created a brand new rule about educational programming on children's

television oh that's right yeah this episode is clearly informed by that that in late 1996 this is so this was in late 1996 this news story says starting in the fall of 1997 broadcast stations must set aside three hours each week for children's programs that have educational content so that's how hysteria got greenlit right 100 yeah yeah though i looked into that hysteria is one of the most over budget shows they ever did like yeah they were gonna make 65 and they only made 52 and some are just clip packages because they they really overspent on that show but uh yeah apparently this piggybacked on a 1990 act which basically laid out a lot of ground rules such as you can't advertise your show's toys during the show because they're trying to cut down on these glorified advertisements like gi joe or the choco bots yeah and there were previous rules i think

during the reagan administration where it's like okay you can have your gi joe toy commercial for you know 22 minutes but at the end make sure one of them says hey don't stick your head in the oven or whatever you know a psa that's actually doing how good well we still got some sonic says but yeah it's uh so that's that's why there was from 97 onward a lot more educational things but it was only for network because that's that's the thing about the fcc when people complain about the fcc they don't touch cable cable most cable cable could show whatever they wanted at least like legally speaking but they normally just respect on uh regular cable they normally just respect the content rules that the fcc has like

fx made a huge deal of like oh when we do the shield and nip tuck, we're going to show butts. We're going to say shit. Like we're not respecting the FCC. Well, I mean, we as the public own the airwaves, which is why there are those rules. But I don't know what they do with the airwaves now that they're not being used.

Like what are those spectrums being reserved for now that TV is not being broadcast? Well, so the rules still, I looked into it. The rule still basically stands now for network uh they kind of even adjusted it i think to have even more like per day uh in 2006 and it hasn't changed since then though apparently at least one fcc commissioner is trying to change that rule and i looked up he was actually appointed by obama so it's not like i figured oh it's got to be a

trump appointee who wants to get rid of this educational stuff but i mean in today's streaming age it almost seems pointless like kids are not they're not glued to the television every afternoon like we were well they are but not network oh yeah yeah it's like they they probably if you talk to like i don't know even like a 10 year old they might be mystified by the idea of appointment television like i've got to be here at this channel to watch this thing? Watching TV with commercials seems so impossibly old-fashioned if you're under, I don't know, 20. Whenever I did that just this weekend, because I was on a little trip to Las Vegas. And so after a long day in Vegas, we put on the TV and it was like, oh yeah, commercials.

And we were watching Ocean's Eleven. I was like, how can you even watch this thing? There's a fucking commercial every eight minutes. This is awful. Well, I'm a resident sport-o, so imagine how I feel. Oh, yes, yeah. That's the only way they could. That's why pro wrestling is worth so much to networks now, because it's classified like sports as appointment viewing. It's a last appointment television.

You've got to see it live. If you watch it delayed now the game of thrones is over yes yeah oh yeah i mean well that reminds me i gotta cancel my hbo subscription but deadwood the new deadwood movies tomorrow you gotta watch that sure silence man i'm the only deadwood stand here but uh but anyway yeah so that ruling announced in late 1996 was on the minds of most people in the television industry. So obviously they took inspiration from that for this too, probably because even some of them were pitching educational shows as their next pilot. Well, it was a Fox executive who actually came out and said, we don't need to follow these guidelines. For one thing, we already show four hours of educational programming per week, so we don't need to follow your little guidelines here. Wow.

I think it's because from that point on where there was always just one bad show in a Saturday morning lineup or in an afternoon lineup, this show's bad and I know why. It's teaching me things. It's around this time that edutainment seemed to really have a moment,

especially in video games. People are like, ah, video games are running your brain. So let's put out this extremely boring edutainment game. Well, I think in my area, I remember seeing like 5 a.m. was the educational time. Yeah. They're like, hey, you didn't say when. This is three hours from 4 a.m. to 7 a.m. The Simpsons will be right back.

Hey, I'm on a podcast. Fart. It's Henry Gilbert. Thanks again for listening to this week's episode of Talking Simpsons, the podcast where we go through every episode of Simpsons in chronological order. And a big thank you to our special guest this week kat bailey for giving us all the insights on the world of journalism she does a ton of great work right now she's at e3 as editor-in-chief of us gamers so you should be checking out what is all going on and follow her at the underscore cat bot on twitter now it's thanks to support from

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I guess why don't we get into the episode itself. We start with an itchy and scratchy cartoon, which it's fun. It's named after the Tennessee Williams classic, the glass menagerie, the glass moan-agerie. The one thing that struck me in this is like itchy and scratchy talk a lot. This feels like they kind of lost the spirit of INS there. It feels like when Tom and Jerry start talking. After 5,500 episodes, it starts to lose the thread a little bit.

Usually there'd just be, if there was any dialogue, there'd be like one line in the episode. Yeah, it hit me when he said, I'm looking for a job. And I thought like, he could have just held up a want ad. That's what he would have done

in classic Xie and Scratchy. Would you trust this man to write Looney Tunes? No. It's true. He's already fucking it up. But that said, on the spoken words, I really like the funny lip sync on a light bulb saying

I quit. They found a funny way to do that. And glassblowing really is dangerous. I went to a demonstration once in college and you could kill yourself with it. yeah well have you seen uh chaluli the uh the chaluli museum yeah and the the glass artist he's uh he he's uh he's seen better days he's got like he's lost an eye oh my god yeah he's uh but his his glass could not be more beautiful he has a beautiful glass. Anyway, we were certainly entertained by Itchy and Scratchy, but not everyone is.

Man, you'd think the quality would dip after 5,500 shows. Well, the FCC isn't laughing. They don't believe kids are learning anything from Itchy and Scratchy. Oh, please. What don't they learn? Don't trust mice. Cats are made of glass. Our license renewal is on the bubble. We need educational programming fast. What about that Mattel and Mars bar quick energy choco-bot hour? That's barely legal as it is. Here's what I was thinking. A newscast for kids by kids. Well, you're not taking any time out of my show. It's jammed up as it is here's what i was thinking a newscast for kids by kids well you're not taking any time out of my show it's jammed up as it is there's a monologue those idiot puppets crusty's

nap time the second monologue paul harvey senior pepino i tell you it's the tightest three hours and 10 minutes on tv we're cutting 10 minutes from your show hell i guess we could trim the hobo parade to a lean 20. So I'm pretty sure that once you hear the music for it, it's pretty obvious. But the Mattel and Mars bar, Quick and Ardu Chocobot Hour, is really Mighty Morphin Power Rangers parody. Which, at this point, for Fox, it was probably getting better. No, it definitely was getting better ratings than The Simpsons. Yeah.

I would say. Well, this was the height of Power Rangers, right? Or no, wait. That's a couple of years after uh by 98 i think it was yeah less popular but i still think pokemon was here by that pokemon had replaced it as number one but i would still bet it had a better rating than simpsons we got like three or four months to go okay if i could well actually both of you well pokemon shock syndrome had already spread though that. That's true, yes.

Well, yeah, the Chocobots told me that, though, I mean, their name is reminiscent of the GoBots, for sure. Yeah. Though, I think in that later scene of them, I think Mark Kirkland, who worked on shows like this in the 80s, I think they were exercising some demons there of their hatred for those. I, for one, am looking forward to the What a Cartoon of Quick Energy Chocobot Hour. I wish they would just make it. That'd be great.

Yeah. They should have more jokes about them, at least. I mean, they still make Power Rangers. They've never stopped. They never will. Just like Pokemon. Someone must still be watching those things. Well, I mean, in Japan, they're watching them.

Actually, my hubby is a big power rangers big sentai fan yeah big sense well there we go uh he likes both versions of it really yeah but i i like that crusty loves the show he he hated itchy and scratchy in the poochie episode but now he's a big fan of it i heard that he this is a send-up of the tonight show by the way oh really because uh carson would go up up to 90 minutes or something to that effect, especially a later Carson. But the last 30 minutes would just be this super self-indulgent kind of interview with somebody that nobody necessarily cared about, but Johnny Carson liked.

Oh, yeah. I mean, he could do whatever he wanted in those last decade there, which was mostly not doing The Tonight Show. Yeah, going on vacation. vacation uh do we lose crusty after this i totally forget if we just never see him entirely yeah i wanted more crusty i didn't think he came back i i love it he does come back briefly he says kids news is boring and frankly i agree oh yeah yeah so it's one more set two sentences i guess it does sound like the Tonight Show. It reminded me more of Bozo the Clown when I was a kid. Because that show felt endless when it was maybe two hours long. I was never exposed to Bozo, thankfully.

I never saw Bozo. Really? It was never in my market. Well, we had WGN on my cable channel, so we got to see the Chicago Bozo. The realist of the Bozos is the Chicago Bozo. The realist of the Bozos is the Chicago Bozo. And so he had his grand prize game, which was throwing, tossing ping pong balls into buckets. Wow, that's so much fun to watch.

Between Popeye cartoons. When you're a child watching it, you think to yourself, I'd do better at that. Like you just dream of doing it. And then you graduate to the Price is Right. Well, did you guys ever see they had the grand prize game arcade game at arcades? Is this like carnival games or something? Well, no.

It's sort of like whack-a-mole, but it was just like you get ping pong balls and you throw them into buckets that get increasingly farther away. They had a grand prize game recreation at my Aladdin's Castle in Jacksonville, Florida. Wow, this is really a thing. Yeah, it real popular okay my wgn viewers out there confirm this i can't believe there's not more of a hook it's like you'll never get this they just throw balls into buckets and the buckets go further away from you and you have to stand back at a certain line okay i mean well when you're like a three-foot child child that's not as easy as it sounds. It sounds like once you're an adult, you just transition

to playing cornhole. Look, Bozo the Clown had a captive audience. What else were you going to freaking do in the mid-80s? The thing,

I watched some old Bozo clips before this, and what really struck me that I didn't realize as a kid is that it's all commercials. Every time you win something, he says,

and what did he win? He won something from this local bakery down in Chicago. aren't you hungry kids it's like and you won don't wake the dragon the new toy from parker brothers and you know they just it's all commercials it's like double dare it's evil it's evil really but uh but yeah so bozo was like this endless show that did have almost an equivalent of the Hobo Parade in it, too. When everybody would leave the stands, you'd do like a conga line leaving the show. That sounds excruciating. You're attacking my childhood memories, Bob.

I was watching the Disney Afternoon. I don't know what was happening in your house. Well, this was Sunday morning. Oh, oh. But from, it was later. Well, so when I'd watch it on the east coast it was on chicago time so you know how cartoons would end and be replaced by like golf at 11 a.m or so or noon yeah so when it would become 11 a.m in florida it was 10 a.m in chicago so i could watch the bozo show still

continuing it was a way to extend my saturday morning man you were a real junkie it's like anything just put it into my veins my god bozo i don't care just more tv if you remember on one of the commentaries dan castellaneta talked about his scary encounter with cookie the clown oh right bozo's sidekick and uh bozo sat on algin yes one of the bozos so anyway the the description of the show, of Krusty's show, reminded me of my bozo watching. I also love that monologues are usually regarded as the most boring part of any show, and that Krusty does two. Two monologues per show. Second monologue. Krusty just gives up, and then the hobo parade could be 20 minutes long.

That's the shortened version. That's just hilarious to me. He's critically acclaimed acclaimed meanwhile bart is having fun on the playground uh willie is scraping up leaves and then goes to his shack for a wee nip and a wee nap this is so we have i double check this we've seen the inside of where willie lives twice before yeah but we've never seen that it's a shack on the school ground right yeah he he basically lives at the school we last saw the inside of where willie lives twice before yeah but we've never seen that it's a shack on the school grounds right yeah he he basically lives at the school we last saw the inside of his shack when he was describing all the things he ate about his little helper and but now we get to see the

outside of it this is a further scully years are also defined by a degradation of willie that's true which is like he had it bad enough in the eight years before this but they really take willie down like he i it won't be too long before we see willie like bathing at school and keeping a grease collection and but he's still as buff as ever though they they never forget that we have another first in this episode from willie uh first use of the word rape yes and i think the only use that frankie has cataloged well to be fair it's only the first 18 years and there's like 12 more after that so it could have happened again i was surprised to hear it yeah it uh it feels like a line mac reigning with a cut he says yeah the quote is raped of its dignity of its bonniness yeah sorry yeah well because the i know it i don't

like hearing that word it's not a good word. But I can understand why 21 years ago they might do it because, quote, raped of his dignity or raped of their dignity like that. That was a phrase that was used with some regularity back then. I've seen it in old wrestling shows. Rape was a comedy word in the 90s. Ten years ago, in game magazines and game websites,

this game totally raped me. It was so hard. It was a comedy word five years ago. Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's a comedy word still in some places. Hearing it here, I was still shocked. Like, whoa! It's sort of like the R slur,

where it used to be used a lot for comedy, and now you just never hear it. So this used to be another R comedy word, and now you just never hear it. So this used to be another R comedy word and now you're like, what? Yeah. It's happening? Again, I don't like hearing it at all and I don't think the use of it here

particularly made a joke funnier either. No, it just distracted me. Yeah. I think they really just liked hearing Willie roll his R's on that word. But yes, that is quite a a first there uh yeah bart jumps off the swings and does a cool skateboard trick and destroys willie's uh pile of leaves which uh then willie steals his skateboard as punishment i did you guys ever do swing tricks or jumping off of

a swing i think i did it once fell on my knees and was like oh i am not an active kid i i would jump off swings also go upside down on swings. Like, wrap the chains around your legs and swing upside down. Back when you were small enough to do that. Oh, yeah. I definitely swung and went as high as I possibly could, then jumped off the swing, which in hindsight, I can't believe I didn't break my legs.

Kids are made out of rubber. They can take anything. They're a bit like tiggers. Yeah. Well, I also used to jump off the top of the slide, and I stopped doing that when I accidentally bit my tongue. Oh, ow, ow. That was one of the most painful experiences of my life. That seems less fun.

You're not getting as much momentum behind you. No. Damn. Sometimes they still remember that Bart's really good at using the skateboard. Well, this is all very classic Bart. His antics, riding around on the skateboard. It very classic bart his antics riding around on the skateboard it's classic bart simpson and after willie takes his skateboard it's willie's skateboard now uh then we get to see him go into a shack for a nap there's a there's a scottish pin up there right at

eye level in his bed that really tells the tale it feels like it was taken from his appearance in the shinning yeah yeah and uh and also i do like the gag that there's at least three bagpipe stations in Springfield that he can tune his radio to. That's funny, but there were at least three polka stations in my hometown growing up. Yeah, it's crazy. They're all AM, to be fair. They're all AM. So Bart sees, though, the sign, Danger Cream Corn, which I love that. I have never encountered cream corn in my entire life.

I think this is a boomer era bad food, like Brussels sprouts or whatever. I feel like it got served to me once at like a family, extended family thing. It always seemed very gross to me, for sure. I've definitely had it. I just don't remember why I had it. This cream corn tastes like cream crab. Watch the potty mouth. Yeah, I mean, what is it?

Just like a bunch of cream on a... It's like corn in sauce. It's kind of sweet, if I recall correctly. I like sweet corn. I have salt on this creamed corn. It's a sweet corn mush. I want to tell a story about a bowl of soup I had yesterday. Oh, boy.

Now that we're talking about corn. I got a bowl of soup at the uh at the cafe i go to sometimes because i wasn't feeling good it was just a bowl of broth with corn in it i was like i'm just eating a bowl of corn what's going on here it says vegetable soup i guess it's correct that there's one vegetable in it uh but that's like cheating with your parents. Like, I eat a vegetable, a potato. Come on. The cream corn troth or just the long hose for delivery of pure, clean corn. Yeah, it's pure. Yeah, it's like tasting cocaine or something. And Lunch Lady Doris making a non-voiced appearance because her actor is dead.

And smiling. Yeah. She grins. They forgot who she was. I mean, she wasn't that satisfied by more testicles and uh but cream corn i guess gets her going more than the iron filled testicles our grade f meat uh meanwhile as part is having some uh more some more classic part fun lisa is on cloud nine lisa channel six is launching a children's news program,

and they've asked me to select an outstanding student to be anchor child. Oh, my gosh! Today's top story, little girl on Cloud9, his dream comes true. Lisa, I've selected you to be that child anchor. I know. I already jumped to that conclusion. All right. If you're so smart, tell me who I selected to be lunchroom monitor. Me?

Take your sash and go. What is your opinion on Lisa in this episode, both of you? I think she's kind of unlikable, even though Bart is... I feel like I don't side with either one of them in this story, but Bart is just giving the people what they want. And I think news is a farce anyways. I'm troubled by Lisa in this episode. Smug Lisa is in full effect and well i mean i think we could probably get into this as the episode goes on but i don't think

she's particularly good at her job but she thinks she's amazing yeah she seemed she definitely they don't make it clear enough that she mistakes boring stories as informative which they they are not like she's there are deeper issues she can get into than chalk shortages, for example. Oh, my God. She seems to think they're important. If I were her editor, I would say, okay, does the chalk shortage story pass one of the fundamental tests of journalism? Does anybody give a damn? Well, Lindsay Nagle doesn't seem that interested in that later.

But I feel bad for her, though, because this feels like another episode where they just tear down Lisa again. Lisa gets her dream and they have to tell her, show her that it's awful and it's a nightmare. But yeah, she is a little great. I mean, she literally says great grubbing. Or no, Marge calls her great grubbing as a compliment later. Somebody compared her to Frank Grimes in this episode, down to the fact that she comes up with a scheme to humiliate her. That's a really good point.

I can see that. Which, Frank Grimes comes off as pretty unlikable and Homer's enemy, and I think in this episode she comes off as fairly unsympathetic ultimately. Well, and the start of this episode with her getting this job is just like Frank Grimes thinking getting the job at the power plant is like his dream come true.

And finally, it all pays off. What's funny is that I find Bart somewhat sympathetic in this episode because, I mean, he's got the hustle. I will give him that much. And he's willing to talk to people. And he's got charisma. So that's a great start. And you teach him some, like, basic journalistic practices. And you get him to find

better stories and you potentially have an amazing reporter if you know what you're doing well in this first scene with skinner is so i i do love that lisa cuts to the chase she's like yeah i know i'm who else was going to be the host on this show of the simpsons i think some of the problem though is i think that if you are a woman in journalism you're already or in entertainment in general you're already behind the the eight ball like you have to prove it and so she just immediately gets cast to the wayside yeah yeah one you're already treated as not legitimate like you have to you have to prove that you're legit whereas bart already has a legitimacy so she's she's got it tough there already but she

has absolutely no charisma unfortunately in this episode and that's uh that's tough when you're on tv one day did you guys ever wear a monitor sash uh there were no hall monitors in my school really yeah for us it was teachers who yelled at you for us it was the crosswork uh crosswalk patrol person that was i got to be that once. I did. There were no crosswalk people either. Boy, they're just letting kids die. Kids getting hit by cars left and right.

I survived that Catholic school. No, at my elementary school, we did have crosswalk monitors. I think it was just called monitors. Not lunchroom, though. Now I look back to it, I think it was stupid that I wanted one of those sashes so bad.

But I was very jealous. I've never worn any sash. I've never held a title that important before. Mine did not say monitor on it, though. It was like an orange plastic reflective sash. I always found the idea of hall monitors weird. It certainly was never in my school. I mean, could you imagine kids listening to another kid who's like,

you can't be in the hallway right now right now yeah they no one should listen to them i i regret all the wasted energy i had on that just put on a sash that says snitch already uncool don't invite me to parties in middle school please but lisa loves it because she's a fucking dork she's a great grubber yep as lisa gets her prize meanwhile willie has a rude awakening to a shack full of corn i'll have to eat my oat ah it's terrible. My shark! My beautiful shark!

And I just got it the way I like it. You did this, Bart Simpson! The man knows quality work. This time you're in for it, Bart Simpson! The man knows quality work. This time you're in for it, Bart! What's he gonna do? I'll kill ya! Alright, back on the stranger. It is funny that, I guess funny is a weird word, but Bart potentially kills Willie with this stunt.

If you've seen the movie A Quiet Place, you'll know corn, you can drown in corn oh right wow how specific uh yes but uh bart is not arrested for destroying this man's property and nearly drowning him with cream i mean alternative episode title bart the sociopath yeah he's like i destroyed his house hilarious as he slept too like yeah i mean that that could work of the same if he like released gasoline into there or um uh carbon monoxide to kill him all the same though i heard all 10 year old boys are sociopaths prove me wrong most children are i think and uh but yeah his i love willie hates the cream corn so much and i like his like creamy beard and hair it hair. That's an odd description for him. One of two attempts on Bart's life, though, by him in this episode. That's what I fucking love, that you're in for a Bart.

Like, oh, what is he going to do? I'll kill you! He just storms into frame and grabs him. Back on the stretcher. And the sound effects really sell how gross that is. Yeah, all the sloshing around. Yeah, blah. And I think it's really great that sometimes it can be seen as less work

to have the explosion happen off screen. But the comedy of the corn splashing on the window in front of Bart, that made it better. I like that a lot. Though I thought it was weird. When I remember this, I'd forgotten that it's Terry who sets him up because it just feels like a thing Milhouse would say. And it's always weird when Terry ever gets ever gets a line yeah meanwhile we're just supposed to forget

about that willie thing which is really great how normally the show sets up all this stuff that or has a whole first act that has no bearing on the final act and this one sets up a thing you're supposed to completely forget about until the ending it's really good in that way lisa is trying to play in her show and that she wants to get to hit all the important news the grown-up controlled media won't touch which that's a funny way of putting it which they don't yeah they don't care about uh three percent cuts in libraries lisa that's very true i think there's an episode in there somewhere where she does something akin to pbs or really good on the ground reporting and it's

being completely overlooked and overshadowed by bart's schmaltzy crap right yeah it just didn't seem like i had much time to make lisa they just the boring thing is also the faster thing if she did better stuff that was unappreciated that's also i think it's easier to write boring than write a good unappreciated thing too uh but yes, as Lisa is planning it out, Bart is forced into the show. And I'll be able to tackle all the hard-hitting children's news the grown-up-controlled media won't touch. Plus, I get to be on TV!

Oh, honey, I'm so proud of you. All your hard work and grade-grubbing have finally paid off. So who's on your news team? Nerd. Nerd. Nelson! Well, we used to date. Plus, he threatened me. Well, don't worry about sports.

I got that covered. Back off, Bart. This may be the only chance I get as a second grader to produce my own TV show, and I'm not going to let you screw it up. Mom! Let your brother do sports. Mom! That mom stuff doesn't work on me.

Marge isn't a great mom in this episode. Not really. Well, she's mostly great mom in this episode. Not really. Well, she's mostly harried by the monkey later. Yeah. I can forgive her badness later, thanks to monkey shenanigans. But this one, it's just like... The monkey shines, Henry, please. Yeah, sorry.

But in this one, she's just being like... I mean, it's a very realistic bad mom like I had. This really touches on sibling rivalries well, I think. Because I definitely had one of your previous episodes, Kat. But yes, this feeling of like, mom, they won't let me do this. Like, oh, do it. And then when you try to mom them back, then your mom gets mad. Like, come on, don't whine about it.

Though I think this comes more from the position of a parent writing it than somebody remembering being a kid too it definitely feels sick of my goddamn kids whining at me shut up i just do it just put stop yelling at me and just put your brother on the show i also like the line plus i get to be on tv because when you're eight to ten years old in the mid-90s yeah i mean being on tv was your dream right at least you'd made it lisa has some really cute lines in this like yardley does a really good job in this one another thing that felt very hollywood to me was the statement of like i may never get to produce my own tv show second grade yeah and development deals in the works here don't worry lisa once you get old

enough you can be a youtuber one that also sounds like a thing that they were doing in writer's room too of just saying why'd you hire that person well we used to date like that that feels very uh threatened me yeah she seems fine with that like if a person you used to date threatened you lisa call the police man it's nelson yeah we know he's fine then we go to our b plot of the episode that, again, completely overshadows kids' news. I'd forgotten there was gum with a cracker center, which is totally nuts and gum. It's a lesser nuts and gum. Yeah, that's just a disappointing thing in season nine when you see jokes that are like, you did do this joke before.

There's actually another one of those in this episode. But yes, Homer has learned a thing or two about monkeys. be alarmed. That is just my helper monkey, sir. I got him after a robber shot me six times and left me for dead. Helper monkey, eh? We are in the period of blank, eh? That started in Das Bus, right?

Yeah, yeah. Internet, eh? Maud, eh? It's really going around the office, but I love saying blank, eh? Yeah, I do that all the time now. It's better than just silently nodding. It's a better response when you don't really have anything to say. Well, poor Apu here.

Man, I forgot how shot up he was. He's still working. Yes, yeah. I like that he put his helper monkey in a Quickie March shirt, too. That was very funny. I also like just how little Homer, like the way Apu goes, and left me for dead. And he looks down and Homer has

no response. Like he's reaching for pity or sympathy. Homer's main takeaway is helper monkey. He's thinking of all the things a helper monkey could do for him. Alternative title episode, Homer's a sociopath. Yeah. He kind of is. Just the way he treats Marge and animals. And and his dad oh yeah he promises dad a monkey to eat well so we mentioned this on

the realty bites episode but this is totally when they that's when they came up with this subplot of the helper monkey yeah that's right marge mentioned the zoning rule about phone operating monkeys and so clearly this is it's like when they did a joke about dogs getting credit cards and then that was a subplot in an episode i mean monkeys boy monkey jokes uh 1998 they were big big deal and uh should be pointed out though that um in this episode we also get the crazy cat lady and it was previously established in the next episode trash of the titans but it's a production episode that came before it. So lots of things are paying off in this episode.

Crazy Cat Ladies and Helper Monkeys. They were thinking about a lot of it. I mean, that's how a writer's room works. You just have a bunch of ideas floating around. You use them more than once in some cases. We do get a quick aside in the newsroom where when Nelson realizes he's on TV, he has to say fart. Lisa is a bit like kermit the frog on muppet show of just like come on everybody right yeah but they're making her

scold again it's just like lisa just has to be the scold is like stop having fun on this new show well she takes her responsibilities very seriously they also got a kid's news report kids are waking up in their naps hungry for news, which like when educational stuff is on TV as a kid, what I did was change the channel to a thing that wasn't educational. Like a rerun of Saved by the Bell or something. You can count on TBS for that one. Or whatever. Actually, yeah, it was

talking about WGN. It was like TBS had one hour and then WGN would have the next hour. Like back to back. Good times. Didn't Nickelodeon have a kids' news show? I think they did, actually. Yes, Nick News W5. Yeah.

With Linda Ellerbee. Oh, Linda Ellerbee. Yeah. I remember when they did, right after Magic Johnson. Did they have Bill Clinton on the show there? They did, yeah. They interviewed him. The one I remember the most was after Magic Johnson came out as HIV positive,

that they did a whole show on AIDS, but they had to have like a 10-minute intro of just like, if you don't want kids to know about gay people, turn away. We're sorry. It's gay. We're bad.

Sorry. So they took important issues that were affecting adults and framed it in a context that maybe kids can understand. Yeah, yeah. I think it came from a really good place, that show. Linda Ellerbee, i think she was

uh doing that for the good reasons unlike say like say john stossel with his things that were taught in classes guys should listen to the citations needed about john stossel that's really good yeah but uh though also this reminds me of like in my high school we did have like a five minute kids news broadcast that was like a, I think it was called Channel One News. Did you guys hear that? It was just a way to feed you commercials and the schools made money by showing it to you. But technically it had AP-level news stories that were like decidedly aggressively centrist because otherwise a teacher might complain or a parent might complain. Lisa Ling came from there.

That's right. That's where Lisa Ling came from there. That's right. That's where Lisa Ling was from. I think she was the big breakout star at Channel 1. Also, the bar gets to say Octopussy on TV as well. Breaking out those James Bond references from the, what, the early 80s? Yeah, kids love Blofeld. They love him.

And he's wearing a Ted Baxter jacket from like Mary Tyler Moore. Yeah. Well, that. Mary Tyler Moore. Yeah. Well, that's how it denotes the, that is like a very 70s local news idea of like, you know, the anchor wears a, you know, single color blazer. While the more fun sports guy has like a plaid blazer and no tie to show he's fun. Like usually a turtleneck maybe.

Yeah, turtleneck too. Yeah. Well, yeah. You know, when I talk about Blofeld, I didn't fucking know who Blofeld was. Like I never watched those movies. I didn't tell Austin Powers. Yeah, I knew Dr. Evil first. Exactly, yeah.

And then when he tried to reintroduce Blofeld as Christoph Waltz a few years ago, it just felt phony. It was just like, oh, this is a huge cliche, this character. See, I knew what James Bond was, but I didn't really start to like James Bond until I played GoldenEye on the Nintendo 64. And by that time, MGM had lost the rights to the Blofeld character, so they didn't use him for years.

It was only thanks to, again, that wonderful media consolidation got Blofeld's ownership back in the hands of the James Bond people. Is James Bond owned by Disney now, too? No, people as james bond owned by disney now too no it's a well it's remarkable the family that owns oh yeah yeah who like licenses to mgm slash yeah yeah and uh yes homer has a very jerk ass moment here oh yeah wait that was the other joke that felt like they just took it from a previous one just like nuts and gum his grilled cheese which that's funny uh it's the danish it's also his danish joke yeah uh i think it could be uh a funnier food item maybe i don't know uh i'm hungry now so grilled cheese sounds good but uh it's a very pedestrian thing that like the news

anchor could ask for anything and that he wants a grilled cheese out of all things is uh on the flip side i love prima donna kent brockman who yeah is very much in his element yeah running his local tv show i love him as the big fish in the small pond very small pond yes that he just runs it like a tyrant too just screaming at people well also he has so much uh they don't really address it in the episode but kent does have a ton of power because he is a like multi-millionaire who's doing this too he won the lottery in season two and apparently an award-winning journalist yeah you want to talk about failing upward i mean geez louise he's won a lot of local emmys as he said in the thanksgiving episode uh but yes homer, is being a real jerkass

when he goes to a store that was felt in Braille Weekly. And maybe one of those dogs. What do they do? They serve as seeing eyes for the blind, sir. Do they do any other tricks? No. Just the monkey then. May I inquire as to how you are differently abled?

Oh, I'm not handicapped. I'm just lazy. Sir, helper monkeys are only for the physically challenged or enfeebled. Enfeebled? Oh, I know just the guy. Be right back. Oh, son. This monkey's going to change my life.

Mind if I take him for a ride sure i'll just stand here i can't wait to eat that monkey that's my line of the show right there it's a great line all right i'll play the line of the show that's the joke i think it works because you're thinking, man, Homer is such a jerk to Abe, and then Abe has that perfect line that just cuts through any sympathy you might have had for him. That he was going to kill and eat that monkey.

Yeah, I mean, I know helper monkeys have to be real at some point in history, but it feels like they shouldn't be. It feels like a bad idea. I think Mojo would have killed and eaten Abe, honestly. He's probably more capable than Abe. Ripped his face off at least. His saggy old face, yeah.

Just waiting to be eaten. Well, that gag is so great too. When he says it, you realize that his happiness the entire time. Yeah. Why is eating a monkey going to change his life?

It's going to be a lot of protein. He thinks very short term. He's never had a monkey before. He's going to have the monkey. It's going to be a lot of protein. He thinks very short term. He's never had a monkey before. He's going to have the monkey. It's going to be a game changer. But this is very jerk-ass Homer, this scene here. Not only is it just the comedic conceit

of Homer's trying to take advantage of a thing that's to help people who are able-bodied, and he is not able-bodied. Sort of like his stay at the retirement home. Which episode was that in again it was so brief oh yeah it was in uh the two misnoms yeah that's right yeah uh which felt like they could only they're like oh we only got two minutes of this okay yeah actually it comes from a very similar place i wonder if they thought of it after like we should have had a monkey there in the retirement castle uh but there's also uh you've noted this guy keeps

popping up bob the the man who told homer his mom is alive yeah he's just like the uh kind of stuffy looking bureaucrat with the droopy mustache he was last seen in realty bites too uh giving the test for the realtor's license then he was voiced by harry shearer i think yeah this uh this voice is very different now and also in this scene there's two mouth movements that are way off that definitely feel like changed uh like this is only to help the enfeebled his mouth movements a bit off there the homer replies with enfeebled so he must have said it in the original line uh and then when abe says i'll just stand right here his mouth movements a little off there but i prefer that line i will right here. Yeah, to make it too obvious.

He just decides, like, yeah, I'll just stand on the street. That's normal. And, yeah, Homer just steals a monkey from Grandpa without saying anything. He just drives off with his monkey. So this episode, I mean, this subplot is pretty pointless, but it doesn't really need a point because it fills in some of the gaps. It's funny. It gives the episode maybe a little more energy than it would have had otherwise i mean having a little monkey jumping around that's a lot of energy i i'm so tired of monkey

jokes now yeah they're they're very i guess they were fresher kind of fresher fresher yeah well i think that anybody who tried to do it now, everybody would just roll their eyes and be like, oh, trying to do the mojo thing again. Well, and like the term for, another term for rando humor that everybody loves to use is monkey cheese. Yeah, monkey cheese. It's like, oh, what if the monkey threw the cheese

at the like, yeah, that's not funny. You're just saying a silly word. Like that doesn't count as comedy. But this monkey's funny. It's funny when the last monkey allowed to be funny on tv uh while you say that though uh in just six months after this the premiere of mojo jojo on powerpuff girls that's a pretty funny funny monkey i agree and though that's what made me wonder on the naming convention i can find no answer on this please

listeners if you do no give me some help here this came out and then five months later was the premiere of mojo jojo in the first episode of powerpuff girls what is it with monkeys being called a mojo interesting i don't understand it's got to be a reference to something yeah it felt uh probably something frank zappa wrote down once oh god it definitely feels like a gen x thing, that there's a silly monkey somewhere called Mojo. I mean, Mojo's a funny name. It is, it is. I mean, the previously mentioned Austin Powers,

he was all about his Mojo baby. So maybe it's just about animal instincts that come through a monkey in Mojo. There's a Mojo Monkey Donuts in Minnesota. Minnesota. St. Paul. I can go there this summer. Wow. Oh. Paul. I can go there this summer. Wow.

Oh, man. I can ask them, Henry. We'll find out. You ever been there, Kat? This donut place? In St. Paul, Minnesota. I had not. Probably opened after I left, like most of the cool places there.

Well, though I know a Mojo Jojo comes from because he's very specifically a reference to the villain of Spectre Man, the Tokusatsu series, Dr. Gori. Now that character looks very culturally insensitive, but it seemed normal in 1988. Google Dr. Gory, folks. You'll see what I'm talking about. Anyway, so we go back to the first kids news broadcast. Nelson's only job seems to be doing a live theme song,

so he's really been shoved to the side. It's a good theme song, though. He's trying. Well, he didn't dress up. I'll say that. All the rest of the kids put on suits, and he's wearing his regular outfit for the kids' news intro. There are a lot of just generic news themes on YouTube.

I use one of them for Talking to the Hill. Hank Hill says, this is Hank Hill with the news. There's like 1,000 of them on YouTube if you want to find them. Lisa must have been in a real budget if she couldn't even afford a theme song. Well, I can't see Channel 5 giving them much money for this. I mean, that's in general, educational programming is supposed to be cheap. Was she getting a

stipend for this? Or was this all free labor? Oh, it's all starting to make sense now. It was free labor. It sounds free to me. I don't think they're making any money off of this. No, I mean, it's probably like your regular old internships. They're being paid in exposure, right? Well, actually, since Skinner asked her to I mean, it's probably like your regular old internships. They're being paid in exposure, right? Well, actually, since Skinner

asked her to do it, it definitely feels like through the school system and not a job. They partnered with the school, and it's kind of like an internship for second graders. Don't think about it. But yes, here is the first broadcast of Kids News. And now, Kids News!

With Kids News anchor Lisa! Thank you. Our top story today, in a move that could affect children town-wide, the Library Book Purchase Committee slashed its budget by 3%. First on the chopping block,

periodicals. Boring! And now sports. Bart Simpson telling you to lock the doggy in the barn because here comes Dodds Ball action! The shirts continued their domination over the skins today. And in schoolyard fights, the highly anticipated match between Kearney and Mr. Largo ended in a disqualification for use of dog dew on a stick.

Lisa? And we are out! All right, kids, we learned a lot today. Now, this is. All right, kids. We learned a lot today. Now, this is what makes my job difficult. Bart, you're off the sports beat. What? Sorry, Bart, but you got to take something seriously.

From now on, you're Lisa's co-anchor. What? Oh, that's got to hurt. See, Bart was doing a good job. Yeah. He was doing his job well. Lisa's just a glory hog in this episode. Well, he's high energy, and she's like, no, news is serious business, and you have to be like you're on the BBC,

even though she's on a kids' news broadcast talking about periodicals at the local library. Why, and she only had one news story. That. Bart came in with multiple things, sports reports there. I think Lisa is anti-sports ball. Well, Bart also comes off as a sports center anchor here for sure, too. Yes, the sports anchors are always the fun ones, right? Yes, yeah.

They do all of their antics. Though he needs a saying like sweet sassy mo lassie. I was actually just at home, and i was with my parents and they had the local news on it's for all only for parents and the sports anchor they did a big montage of all the sports anchors zany moments with various teams and some of them actually got me chuckling but i was just like why is this going on for like 20 minutes they really not have that much news i want all the old sports anchors to be forced to cover things like Fortnite and Overwatch.

The Overwatch League? Yeah. Ninja? What is that? Well, Kat, have you ever seen on like the Brian Gumbel sports show on HBO whenever... Is this like real news or real sports with Brian Gumbel? Yeah, real sports with Brian Gumbel on that. Occasionally when I've watched it and they've done stories on esports,

they'll have like some other guy on there like, that's not sports. No. I hate sports, man. Usually you want the guys with gray hair. Yeah, no. It's like eSports for nerds. Bart even throws, you know, it is dangerous.

Bart throws that at the camera. Those aren't cheap cameras. Lenses are very expensive. It's the most expensive part of the camera. And they mentioned on the commentary, I didn't see this one, but they said there was an ad for the Simpsons movie, one of the first ones that announced it,

that just reused footage of Bart talking as an anchor. I do recall seeing that. And it's him just, it's before they had created any animation for the movie. The only teaser I remember was the one that makes you think it's a Superman trailer, and then it's Homer in a Superman t-shirt on the movie. The only teaser I remember was the one that makes you think it's a Superman trailer, and then it's Homer in a Superman t-shirt on the couch. In his underwear, right?

Yes, yeah. Which was technically new animation, he just didn't move all that much. You won't be saying anything or doing anything. So this entire sequence does get into one of the, maybe the commentary that this show is making which is news as entertainment entertainment i suppose where yeah it's it's the news you're listening to the news there's current events why does it have to be so freaking entertaining right but we have decided to turn our news broadcast into something that is entertaining you i feel like it is an old show so it's hard to uh judge with a perspective, but it just feels so naive. That's why I said news is a farce anyways earlier in the show, because I don't believe news.

Cable news does not serve any purpose that's helpful for any human. CNN, NBC, Fox News, whatever, it's all entertainment. You have to go online and find reputable sources that are not trying to entertain you, because all those shows just want personalities and they want you to like buy into their brand now but i mean i go i go to you know england or whatever and i do watch the bbc yeah i mean just in america oh i mean yeah for sure but it's funny it's like internationally like cnn international is way more credible than here i mean now like in this show they're saying okay lisa is doing her schmaltzy kind of thing whereas now it's all about opinion entertainment where it's just a couple people screaming at each other it's crossfire writ large yeah i know i mean fox is the worst of this but cnn isn't much better i they just most of

their daytime programming is like some person had a tweet oh yeah two people to comment on that tweet reading tweets yeah that's pretty much what it is which is not uh reporting i would say i mean if you look at espn they've always had their entertainment desk with people like stephen a smith and then they had their actual honest to god reporters so you would have them you would have one on the one hand somebody doing incredible reporting on you know concussions in the nfl and you would have, on the one hand, somebody doing incredible reporting on concussions in the NFL. And you would have Stephen A. Smith starting crap with an NBA player on the other side. What was the one who was going to beat him up? Oh, he kept calling him Chris Columbus or something?

I forget. But yeah, there's a long line of athletes who I'm sure want to beat up Stephen A. Smith. And I'm not saying that. I think Fox News has its own problems. But you see a similar kind of dynamic there where you have people who are like, I'm a real that. I think Fox News has its own problems. But you see a similar kind of dynamic there where you have people who are like, I'm a real journalist. I'm doing journalism. And then there are the other people who are like, I am a crazy blowhard, right? Yeah. Well, Sean Hannity said it himself. He's like, I'm not a journalist. Well, I never called myself a journalist after he got caught helping the Trump campaign in 2016. I don't want to get into a fox news right i think those reporters are morally bankrupt and

are lying to themselves that they think that they're doing actual news but yeah there's like that dynamic that you see in so many organizations of serious-minded journalists being completely overshadowed by the entertainers well i also think after all the sex scandals specifically at fox how anyone can work there is like awful. And then you look in the games industry. I mean, you have people

who are actually, you know, pretty solid reporters and then there are some people who host shows at certain websites that are basically glorified advertisements

or like extended marketing arms. And we'll name them now. No, I know. Yeah, it's, I mean, it's a problem in all journalism. Though, something that just clicked with me

and it's all like, Lindsay Nagle in this episode, she's totally Faye Dunaway in Network, like from her outfit and everything

and making the news more entertaining. Like, yeah. She just doesn't have sex with Krusty. At least on screen. Not that we're seeing. I bet they've fought. Yeah. If you've Not that we're seeing it. I bet they fought.

If you've never seen Network, it's one of the great movies. And it's a great commentary on how TV was actually tearing apart our society. We didn't even realize it. That shows you 40 years ago, people were like, oh, is this what television is becoming? Everything in Network now is just, we're past that. Every joke in Network. I love that movie, but it is now incredibly dated. There's that big speech by Ned Beatty that's amazing.

He's just like, now there are only eight companies. It's like, well, now there are only two. It's been 40 years. It's even worse. Yeah. What do you think? They talk about marks at their meetings? No.

They take out charts and graphs. Well, and in that show, they're like, oh, it's terrorist of the week. We'll be following them. It's like, that is television. They take a guy's nervous breakdown on the air and turn it into ratings. And then they, and of course, the logical endpoint is that he gets murdered on the air. And it comes in like third place behind the bionic woman. The point of that movie is Howard Beale is insane.

He's not good. You shouldn't. Howard Beale screaming at you is not actually good television. But okay, had to talk about network. It just hit me right there. Like, oh yeah, this is kind of a network commentary. The best speech in that is one of the main characters looking at Faye Dunaway and basically telling her, you are a hollow-eyed product of the TV generation.

You are completely bankrupt as a person. And she's just like, in a way in a way it was the generation uh it was the greatest generation you're screaming at boomers sure yeah that character is terrible in that movie but also if you wanted to see when uh what aaron sorkin would be like if he was better uh better writer that's what my work is too i also really like i could only appreciate it this time lindsey nagel's line to bart of like this is the hardest part of my job, which is like, you're giving him a promotion.

Why are you phrasing it like a firing? It is very artificial, yeah. But yes, Bart has it. Anchorman, huh? Well, if I'm going to be an anchorman, I better go bleach the crud off my teeth. I'll be in makeup. I don't need a co-anchor.

I'm a straight-A student. Lisa, Bart's got something you can't learn in makeup. I don't need a co-anchor. I'm a straight-A student. Lisa, Bart's got something you can't learn in school. Zazz. What is Zazz? Zing, Zork, Kapowza. Call it what you want. In any language, it spells Mazuma in the bank. Zork? What is Zork?

I didn't say Zork. The point is, the camera loves him. But that trivializes the whole idea of kids' news. I mean, let's be honest. Bart's not exactly the brightest penny in the fountain. In English, Lisa. Damn blueberry stains. Look, I love Bart, but he's never even read a newspaper.

Between you and me, he's, well, kind of dumb. Oh, yeah. So you're putting you on Bart's side again. Yeah, yeah. At least she says, look, I love him. Like, she's not fully dumping on her brother, but still. Those liberal intellectual elitist. That's what they're making Lisa again.

They always do this. But how many news anchors are paid to know about news and not just to be pretty and to read things? I like that Nagel says Zork and then denies saying Zork. That's got to be David Cohen dropping that in there. Bet you're right there, yeah. She's gaslighting Lisa. She's like, I didn't say Zork anyway. And also that Lisa,

when she says not the brightest penny in the fountain, that's what Nagel's like in English, Lisa. She just said a bunch of nonsense and now she's demanding Lisa be clear. Yeah, it's called charisma. I don't know why we're attaching all these weird names to it. That's why I like her terrible names. But yeah, it just means it's the it factor.

It's charisma. It's that. It almost feels like a metatextual comment on the show that like, people like Bart more than you, Lisa, on the show. That does make sense. You need to go away, Lisa. And if you read it like that, then Lisa's anger later at Bart in the show is her being mad that she always takes a backseat to him. She's what, like the Daffy Duck of this episode?

Yeah, totally. Which, guys, you've got to listen to her. What a cartoon on Daffy Duck. Yeah. Such a good show. And Willie's Elmer Fudd. Oh, yeah. And it's written by Larry Doyle, who wrote Looney Tunes.

Real clear Looney Tunes through line in this episode. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. We care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized

to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care? I also like Bart to getting the crud off his teeth. He knows he can have crud on his teeth when he's a sports guy, but Anchorman. He understands immediately what it takes to be on TV, which is having clean white teeth. Bart is media savvy.

He'll go over well in the HD era. Yeah, again, Lisa should be caring about these things, honestly. If she's going to be on television, she's not Edward R. Murrow, man. It's her first mistake. She went in assuming that people cared about what she had to say. As the kids are having their fights, Marge is having her own problems at home. Your problem, honey? Monkey! There's a monkey in the house!

Relax, it's only Mojo. Mojo, Marge. Marge, Mojo. He can do anything you show him. Watch. Simpson residence. Why didn't you tell me you were bringing home a filthy monkey? This filthy monkey made the orange juice you're drinking. Good physical comedy in those bits.

And again Another hallmark Of season nine Marge is tortured In her own home Yeah That's true Just comes home

And there's a monkey Homer didn't tell her He got a monkey Until she meets it She's tortured a lot In the next episode too Oh yeah With all the garbage

God yeah And same with the In the dumbbell indemnity When she gets like Blasted with the water And just left to deal with that. Her job is reaction shots in this episode. Yeah.

Well, if she doesn't do that, she's cooking. So it's pretty much just those two things. I like that Marge also is just terrified of monkeys, which I mean, if a wild monkey was in my house, well, not even wild, a trained monkey, I still would be like, no, don't want this. I don't like monkeys either, and I would not want one in my house.

I'm sure they're friendly. I'm sure there's some friendly monkeys out there. Treat monkeys well, blah, no, don't want this. I don't like monkeys either, and I would not want one in my house. I'm sure they're friendly. I'm sure there's some friendly monkeys out there. Treat monkeys well, blah, blah, blah. Oh, yeah, one of my favorite monkey jokes of the 90s was, what was it, cleaning monkey or toilet monkey from SNL? Oh, monkey, yeah, toilet monkey. Yeah. Monkey hate clean.

That is one of my mom's favorite fake commercials is toilet monkey. I love how cruel it is to the monkey, and they're like, when your monkey dies, throw him out and get a new monkey. It's implied you don't feed the monkey. Oh, yes, yeah. I think these monkey bits mostly work because they're really well animated,

and it doesn't feel like a stupid cartoon monkey. It feels like a real monkey that is wreaking havoc in this house. Yeah, he moves independent of them like it's so it'd be so easy just to have him be stationary on homer a lot of the time but for no reason other than like he's just a wild animal i just love when he puts his hands over his head and swings them side to side it follows the macarani rule of animals have to act like animals and not like smart humans in an animal costume not a uh catfish winking at the screen

exactly uh yeah no eric stefani matt nastic great great work on keeping that uh mojo monkey like you know i was kind of surprised they didn't get frank welker but dan castellaneta does a really good monkey he does good like uh santa's little helper too yeah yeah they quit hiring frank welker guys you don't need them save that budget i mean if frank welker had been there he'd just do his abu voice from aladdin that's pretty much all the monkey that's his normal monkey voice i heard a lot of that i also like a classic spit take with marge there also that her her hair is frayed the entire time too as uh as marge being tortured by a monkey bart takes lisa up on his challenge tried to read the newspaper uh cannot focus so did you guys have archie comics as a comic strip

in your area no i didn't know it was a newspaper comic i sure didn't it really was it was it was a newspaper comic from 1947 until its last original strip was 2011. Wow. How do you break up Archie into three panels? I have no idea. How do you break most of these comics into three panels? That's true. It drove Bill Watterson insane.

Well, in the 1940s, the big money for comic artists was on newspaper page not in comic books you you really like it was a big deal for say the creators of superman to get to do superman in newspapers more so than in comic book pages so in 47 it was a big deal that archie got to be put in there i i had to do all this research on it because i would have loved to have read an archie comic strip when i was reading comic strips every day as a kid we just didn't have it I only liked Archie because it was the most comic per dollar you could get. I don't have any affinity

for the characters. Those fat double digests, you get way more content than you would with a Marvel comic. It's just a soap opera, right? Not really. Or just hijinks.

Yeah. There's no real continuation from thing to thing. In the same double digest, he'll be going on a date with Betty, and then in the next one, Archie will be dating Veronica. It's just fun.

It's just a good old-fashioned American fun. No, Archie's super horny on TV. He's boned out, that Archie. This whole bit with the newspaper feels like your classic newspaper critique. Oh, I mean, the TV anchor can't even get through the first sentence on the front page. And the dumbing down of America, you know, people are bored with the newspaper. So they watch whatever the heck Bart Simpson is doing. Also, another joke on The Simpsons about how bad newspaper comics are.

Yes. Charlie Brown said good grief. That's great. Also, people, lots of newspaper editors wringing their hands over people flipping straight to comics or straight to the sports section, which, I mean, in fairness, I would read the sports section first, and then I would go back to the front page. One of the greatest moments of joy that I witnessed was there's a kind of like a rotund old man who hangs out at the pizza place I go to a lot.

He's got suspenders on. He's probably like maybe 80, and he's always like reading the newspaper. It's always like spread out on the table in I go to a lot. He's got suspenders on. He's probably like maybe 80. And he's always like reading the newspaper. It's always like spread out on the table in front of him with his wife. And I was just sitting there doing notes or something. I just heard from the other table like, I love zits. No way.

Yes, yes, yes. That's what he said. That's funny. He's like, he loves zits. Hey, it's a funny comic about teenage boy life. Yeah, and he's got to be like pushing into this guy, but he just like cackled madly. He's like, I love Zitz.

Zitz has had to do a Fortnite joke by now. Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure. When I was young, it was called Two Weeks. He probably is going to try and be an eSports athlete or a YouTuber, right? Yeah. That is a Zitz-worthy line there.

I'm going to submit it to Jerry Scott. It's a novel thing to see anybody reading a newspaper these days. Yeah, well, I mean, I get it instantly from my Twitter, and then I get to be angry right there and yell at the newspaper. Yelling at the newspaper in real life doesn't give me much satisfaction at all. Old man yells a tweet. The letters column used to be Twitter. People would write back and forth to each other.

There'd be arguments in the newspaper every day between the same people. I want to add that by 1998, I was a huge news junkie. Oh, really? Yeah, I'd had my political awakening. I was reading the news. I was reading the op-eds. I was forming my opinions, I want to say. For me, I don't think it was until 2000 with the election.

That's when it really... I i mean i sort of paid attention i considered watching politically incorrect as that's like oh that's the same isn't it it goes to show how much things have changed that i would wait eagerly for the newspaper to show up and then i would read it cover to cover every single day you are a lisa nerd man it really was and that's how i got it that's how I got in my head that I wanted to be a journalist. Though that's major news that Bart is skipping past. Like the Supreme Court reversing something is actually very major. Even Archie's talking about it. Apparently, yeah.

What do you think about Roe v. Wade being overturned, Jughead? I do like, though, when the story intersects with the other story. Because Bart is reading the newspaper then marge runs outside and she can't comfort him because she's too terrified after seemingly being bit by mojo which he seems like he's pretty well behaved when he's on camera but he like bites marge and i think maybe she thinks uh like after drinking the orange juice she needs a vaccination okay i i read it as a bite because she like holds her arm like there.

And she said mama needs a tetanus shot, right? But she could also just be overreacting to drinking that orange juice. I think she totally is. Would you drink orange juice

that a monkey squeezed? What kind of a monkey? How big of a monkey? I mean, it is a trained helper monkey. Yeah. So probably. I wouldn't enjoy it.

That monkey better be wearing gloves. But so Bart knows who he really needs to turn to for this, and that is, one, Kent Brockman. He heads to his giant mansion, same mansion as he's had since Dog of Death. Good old Kenny Brocklestein. Again, Bart Simpson, he's got the hustle.

He's like, I want to be a good journalist. Who's the best journalist around? Ken Brockman. Lisa didn't do her legwork. She assumed she'd be the best at it no matter what yeah instantly yeah bart is hungry for it as he gets let in kent also remarks that his sister is doing real news as opposed to his garbage news and it i like they don't touch on it too heavily but that implies that's why kent wants to help bart much, just out of, like, to settle a score with his sister. CNN national news anchor.

But yeah, see, Bart gets to learn a few things from old Kent Brockman. Mr. Brockman, I need your help. I've got to become a great anchor so I can show up my sister. Sister, huh? I've got a sister. Miss big-shot CNN Washington correspondent. Well, she's not the boss of me. Come in.

Let's take the trophy route to the den. Twelve newsies, seven iron mics, four golden quaffs. This is the most prestigious award that Del Monte gives. Do you want to hear my award-winning secret? Human interest stories. They tug at the heart and fog the mind. Observe. Hear that?

It's the sound of children's laughter. Silenced. That's because tomorrow this old carousel, which has delighted young Americans for lo these past six years, will be torn down to make way for the future. A store that sells designer mouse pads. Well, I guess there's no room

in this modern world for old Blackie here. But if you don't mind, this reporter is going for one last ride. This is Kent Brockman. Report. I do like the use of the very maudlin

on the nose song choice. That's great. That's an expensive, this episode must have some expensive licensing. I can't think of any news broadcast that ever actually played music over a news report. Oh, I think I've heard them. ever actually played music over a news report. Oh, I think I've heard them. I feel like it's a different law.

They don't have to pay the same if it's on a news broadcast as they do on a fictional show. But there is that designer mouse pad. It's basically in scare quotes. The modern world is destroying these treasured horses yeah have been here low these past six years there's no real politics to it other than the old days were good that's nostalgia is it's real it's only real viewpoint of it which comforts people who are upset at the modern world but also taking aim at boutique crap yeah though. Yeah. Though that, I love the touch. Today it would be like a pop-up for cereal.

Yeah, or a food truck of designer donuts or something. The fact that the carousel was six years old always makes me laugh. Oh, yeah, that's right. That's right. It's a very subtle joke. He's not even celebrating an important historical monument or anything. It's the perfect bullshit feature of it seems like it's it's kind of making you mad but ultimately it doesn't really mean anything there's nothing

there tugs at the heartstrings and clouds of mine but he's going specifically for an emotional reaction which is to feel angry that this thing is being destroyed and being replaced by this crappy store that nobody cares about. Lisa is the brain and Bart's going for the heart. And one worse than the other. It's real facts versus feelings. That's what we would call outrage reporting or clickbait.

I also like Kent Brockman is so proud of that Del Monte award. It's like a golden can of beans. That tells a real story. Like, why did Del Monte give you an's like a golden can of beans. That tells a real story. Why did Del Monte give you an award? Sponsorship. And that Del Monte apparently gives so many awards and this is the best one. Yeah, it's a golden

coif. The golden coifs. And they're all there. He walks by Emmys, but he doesn't even mention those. It's the microphone, the coifs. Because it's also about big hair. Back then, I feel like TV news anchors don't really have the same hair. Yeah, Kent Brockman isn't the model of Ron Burgundy like those newscasters. Very much so.

There's an episode much, much later of The Simpsons in which I guess Kent Brockman is forced into the world of internet journalism, and he goes into a BuzzFeed-style startup. Oh, wow. And it's very strange to see this anachronism standing there wearing his early 1980s newsman suit with the hair and everything with all of these internet journalists. Do you also notice that the horse Kent calls Blackie is not a black horse? Oh, that's right, yeah. Oh, and I really like that Kent makes the cameraman wait for him to say the whole thing until he gets all the way around.

A good time filler joke, too. This and the train joke later are both good time fillers. And so Kent is clearly very invested in Bart because not only does he let Bart do Bart's people after Kent's people, but when Bart presents his thing and says he's not doing what he said he was going to do to Lisa, there's a little shot of Kent going like nodding, like, yes, yes.

It's a validation. He's got a protege now. Getting back at a woman. It's a, it's rather Sith Lord thing. Yeah. He's finally, he's like,

it's, it goes kind of unsaid. Take that, sis. Exactly. Yeah. He's, by hurting Lisa, he's finally he's like it's it goes kind of unsaid after that exactly yeah he's by hurting lisa he's getting back at his sister by hurting this eight-year-old girl ken brockman is one of the most loathsome people in this entire series he's yeah i'd say he's right behind mr burns i think i don't know mr burns kind of softened over the years and became kind

of a funny old man well brockman was just a full egomaniac. In this episode, Burns does celebrate killing ducks. If you combine Kent Brockman and Mr. Burns, you get Donald Trump. Oh, boy. Yeah, I guess so. But why don't we hear from Bart's people? Bart's been looking into that alleged ham salad from yesterday's school lunch. Alleged.

No, I haven't, Lisa, Because I went out with a camera and did a different kind of story. Bart, I really think we should It's about a man. A simple man. He's one of Bart's people. Joe Banks, 82 years young,

has come to this pond every day for the past 17 years to feed the ducks. But last month, Joe made a discovery. The ducks were gone. Some say the ducks went to Canada. Others say Toronto. And some people think that Joe used to sit down there, near those ducks. But it could be that there's just no room in this modern world for an old man and his ducks. Where have all the flowers gone? Another expensive song, seemingly.

Yeah. They spent a lot of their money on this one, in the song licensing department anyway. We also, right before that, we get to see Homer is about to watch the kids on TV. And Mojo and Homer's never looked fatter until a later scene. But he looks so gross here. It's like drinking his sixth beer or something like that. Yeah. And then Mojo pissed on the sofa. He clearly marked his territory.

Joe Banks, I feel like they definitely pulled him out of the character pack, though the named character has no other appearances in The Simpsons, at least according to the wiki. This is such just a great maudlin sentiment. It's just like, the ducks are gone. It's totally nonsensical as well. And they're not gone. It's proven that the ducks are gone in this.

An old man who sat by the wrong pond. That's all he did. But it's all about how you package this complete non-story. And also, some say canada other toronto like it's just incredibly uninformed it's easy to miss canada all tucked away down there and as we hear about that uh as we're watching this we then get to visit it on other characters watching bart's people and how it's touching all of which i'm surprised obviously homer and marge are going to watch their kids tv show but why why are burns and smithers why are they in beanbag chairs i like i love that touch yes do you think maybe my power plant killed those ducks there's no maybe i'm out

sir excellent march can i get a duck you already have a monkey can I get a duck? You already have a monkey. Can he get a duck? No. One man, no ducks. Lisa? That's kids' news. Good night. Way to go, March. That wasn't news.

That was sappy, manipulative drivel. Well, I'm sorry you couldn't feel for old Joe. You didn't feel for him either, you big fat phony. Bart, look up here. This is where the tears would be if I could cry. But I can't. Botched facelift. You could learn a lot from him, Marianne.

It's Lisa. Marianne's better. I love all these notes she's giving. She's a hilarious character. No, it's Tress McNeil's best character in the show. There's also a reason Crazy Cat Lady came back. They just hear Tress's delivery, and I think they're like, we know we can trust her to just be funny if we write new stuff for her.

Tress is a later addition to the show as a regular but once they really start getting into tress like she's uh like almost in every episode from that on yeah i mean she was there from the beginning but only it's like kearney and like odd characters here and there by itself the line oh you can learn a lot from him marianne isn't that funny of a joke but she sells it with her delivery really well stealing her dignity by robbing her nail I feel like half this character is delivery and Annette Nagel can't admit she was wrong she's like no I'm telling you to change your name to Marianne it's uh that's I mean that's how executives give notes too they just they don't directly say change it's like you know Marianne's better I didn't say Zork.

What are you talking about? And I do love Yardley's delivery of like, you big fat phony. Like, she's so pissed at it. Well, Bart is being really cynical at this point where he doesn't care about this, but he knows exactly. He has zeroed in exactly what's going to get him the ratings and or clicks, and therefore he is going to do that every time. Hardcore. He's got to go in on it. He's aed in exactly what's going to get him the ratings and or clicks. And therefore, he is going to do that every time. Hardcore.

He's got to go in on it. He's a quick study. He'd be a great fit at BuzzFeed. You know, he filmed that. He edited it. Like, as we'll see later, when he did a live broadcast, he did that by himself. Like, he's the only person there. Bart works really hard, I think.

He's amazingly talented. Lisa's not doing remote pieces i mean she eventually does but not very well oh as as we will see you you you take bart and you actually mold him into a real journalist you got something amazing here i like burns his tearful celebration of killing the ducks too fortunately yeah fortunately no ducks are dead they i prefer to believe that he just sat on the wrong bench. He's still moved by the piece, but he's also happy he killed the ducks.

And, oh man, Mojo is so excited that he could get his own duck. He's jumping up and down. And screaming. He throws the pizza box. More great monkey action. More examples of how

the animation is totally selling an otherwise pretty unforgettable subplot. Yes, yeah. Yeah, it's all in the animation. I think that's something we've talked about many times, that great animation can save a bad joke, but bad animation can't be saved by a good joke sometimes. Same with delivery.

So it's all in the delivery and the animation in this episode. So let's talk about Eleanor Abernathy. Oh, boy. As some call her the crazy cat lady. She is the breakout star after Gil, the breakout star of season nine. Yeah, she taught us all about toxoplasmosis and what having cats does to your brain uh i i love going crazy thanks to cats and their toxoplasmosis uh give me more that's what i'd say fill your house with cats well you know two two cats three once you're past three i feel like you're in dangerous territory yes yeah not uh i'm not judging anybody out there

with more than three cats but i'm just saying i have a aunt and uncle who uh i think they passed 12 at a certain point oh no this place doesn't smell very good oh no i guess you don't have a farm you probably shouldn't have more than a half dozen cats wow they're uh what was that mst3k line like they have cats like when just entering a room like oh yeah yeah it's like two cat one cat is enough of a handful two cats is like okay this is a bit much 12 cats come on yeah they they have kids you don't even know their names anymore after a while walking through a fog of cat pee all day well i think um you know my aunt and also some of my cousins they just they

if they find a cat they they want to keep it. They just can't. Their hearts are too big, I think. It comes from a good place of wanting to help these animals. But I mean, the cats seem happy. I don't know. One of my best friends in high school, I think they had like seven or eight cats in their house, seriously. And it's not the cleanest house.

Usually it's not, no. But yes, Eleanor Abernernathy that would be later revealed as her real name other facts later revealed about crazy cat lady is that she went to yale and harvard and that she is only 40 years old and also uh when snowball 2 gets killed she adopts more snowballs that also get killed until eventually she's given a cat that looks just like Snowball that she renamed Snowball to from Crazy Catling. In that classic one

where it ends with Elisa saying, you know, we'll just call you Snowball too just to make it easy. And then Skinner walks by and says, isn't that a little lazy? And then she says, oh, I'm sorry, Armin Tamzerian and i think in the uh in season 18 coming soon to talking simpsons season 18's uh parody of the seven up documentary

series you see how she becomes a crazy cat lady over time that's the one yes yeah that's that's a one of the top resources on crazy cat lady information so there's a real strong she has mental illness through line here therefore she is hilarious yeah yeah it's uh we're laughing at the mentally handicapped but somebody throwing cats at you is funny because like one of her whole thing is that when she gets on her medication she's fine ah right when she gets off her medication, she becomes Crazy Cat Lady. But man, isn't it fun? Like, Tress McNeil's noises are so funny. Yeah, the babbling. I just want to say that in the scene that I'm sure that we're going to have in a second,

I died laughing in my most recent viewing of this episode. I was like, because the delivery and the timing is perfect. Yes, yeah. Well, here, let's learn about They Call Her the Cat Lady. They call her the cat lady. People say she's crazy just because she has a few dozen cats. But can anyone who loves animals that much really be crazy? The old Union Pacific doesn't come by here much anymore.

It's not a line of show. That's the best joke in the episode though yeah for appearing from behind the train just throwing a cat at lisa that's why she became a regular that second appearance hits it so hard it was a real disco stew moment yes yeah god a joke so funny that they you just they automatically become a regular and have to be named too apparently i dislike having to name people like jeff anderson but uh you it's even funny just to watch cats being thrown i mean obviously not in real life yeah don't throw your cat but god damn it's funny she's just like and the way she like reaches like first it's like one full handful and then she starts grabbing the ones from under her right hand the character design too with with the cataracts that are kind of like wild-eyed.

Well, and Tress is a master of old lady voices, too. Like, she's, I mean, she's great as Ma in... And Patty. And Patty. No, Hattie. Hattie, yes, yeah, in Futurama. I'll be tanking jiggers. And she's throwing the dang cats.

Like, she just has an endless supply of them just appearing like from the bag of holding or something damn she's so fucking good yeah so uh that is that's the first to be and the union pacific just going by so long it's just by the way poor lisa the union pacific narrows down the number of states that springfield could be in oh does it yeah there's like maybe a half dozen states in total that has them. Arkansas, California, Colorado, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Oregon, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Washington, and Wyoming. So not Hawaii.

We can rule that out. All right, so what's our takeaway? Springfield is west of the Mississippi. Oh, that's why it's called Pacific. I see. There you go. Yeah. And of course, Springfield's based in Portland, so it's this town in Oregon.

You know, they have a ton of crazy cat ladies in Portland. Yes. And also three mountains, as we'll see later. And it's next to the desert. Yep. Poor Lisa. And also three mountains, as we'll see later. And it's next to the desert. Poor Lisa. She even tries to meet Bart halfway, but she just can't do it. It's like, it's not, her setups aren't bad, but it's just, it's more that the world is against her. She's trying to be cynical and she's not good at it.

This is not her forte, yeah. And then we cut back to Mojo and Homer. Homer has ordered Mojo to steal donuts for him and homer's reaction to the donuts here is just so good come on come to papa good boy mojo now bring him down and i'll give you one stop that you're a helper monkey! This isn't helping! I don't need your pity.

He's like eating a donut on the ground that was thrown to him by a monkey. Crying as he eats it. God, it's so good he's just his whimpers as he's eating it's a it is a very like it's a low point for homer in his life he's eating monkey donuts off the ground every single mojo scene hits really hard in this episode like i feel like every mojo scene lands. I feel like they added two mojo scenes and just took away from the kids' news

to make room for it. Also, that he just stole from Lardland. He's doing it right in their parking lot. He should be caught in that case, too. Lardland's going to show up at his front door. And so, then we get the next kids' news scene where Bart is really ahead of the curve when it comes to maudlin patriotism.

Our forgotten veterans. Their guns are quiet now. Their helmets lost or pawned. And yet here they are, making flags out of old clothes. Sure, they may not have the right number of stripes. And the colors are all wrong. And some purists will tell you the American flag doesn't contain

the word Jordache. But you know, if they run this up the flagpole, I'll salute. I'm Bart Simpson. Hmm, thank you, Bart, for yet another touching Bart's people. Now, turning to... I just think our veterans deserve a little recognition.

That's what Veterans Day is for, Bart. But is that really enough to honor our brave soldiers? They also have Memorial Day. Oh, Lisa, maybe you're right. Maybe you're wrong. The important thing is veterans deserve a day to honor them. They have to. Well, maybe they should have three.

I'm Bart Simpson. I love his logging off. Yeah. I'm Bart Simpson. I love his logging off. Yeah. I'm Bart Simpson. Which also, Lisa had another thing to say, but it sounds like Bart ended the show there by saying. It's like Armistice Day or something is the third one. I mean, Moe's Day. Well, and 9-11 kind of turned into that, too.

Yeah. This is another pitch perfect, like, fake ass local news segment in which it's just there to play into people's sense of patriotism and support the troops and all of that there's nothing there when he's not really even helping these veterans he's just using their sad looking lives for content as well yeah people are remarks like wow look at those veterans well moving on with my life i uh i like the design on the jordash flags too they're especially the one that gets held up that like a zipper is open on part it's like a the ass of the jeans is on one of them yeah yeah it's they're really great design like art wise and that i do love to lisa is trying to bring facts into this and bart very much in like a

stephen colbert type way just like maybe you're right maybe you're wrong I just think it should be this yeah the difference is why are all of these veterans sitting here in this home making American flags like what's going what is going on here exactly versus his story is this story exists these people exist look at them yeah and you can't judge me because I'm celebrating the troops. So clearly this is a good story. It feels like Bart put them up

to making sad flags for this human history story. The extremely cynical patriotism angle really gets to me. It was ahead of the curve on that stuff. Yeah. Well, it looks like it's Milhouse's grandpa is there,

but one thing I haven't seen before, like the mustachioed one. A different millhouse clone yeah clearly not the grandpa who uh has his own rv rv yeah no he's not superman but yes marge has really lost sight of the plot in the next scene where she talks about how it's now bart show and lisa is on it in her defense, she has been driven insane by Mojo. That's true. Possibly given a disease. It is Bart's show. He's the star.

It is, but that's not nice to say to Lisa. It was Lisa's show. She is being a bad mom. Yeah. Moms can't play favorites, and I think it's unfair for moms. They have to constantly be torn between multiple children.

That's why you stick to one kid, one kid, one family. I'm for sure the favorite. Lisa is pissed off, and she hatches, one family. I'm the favorite. I'm for sure the favorite. Lisa is pissed off and she hatches her evil plan. Really makes you think. What does that even mean? Mom might not see through you, but I do.

You don't care about any of these people? Well, if I'm guilty of anything, maybe it's caring too much. I'm Bart Simpson. Stop talking like that! Stop it! Lisa, please. You have absolutely no reason to be jealous You're still a very important part of Bart's show Bart's show?

If everybody knew what a phony Bart was He'd be off that show so fast I've got it Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha So fast! I've got it! At least it isn't the wrong here, but it's like, well, Bart is being paid to be a phony. And at the end of the episode, she'll figure out the power of phoniness. I just love, like, really makes you think.

Like, that means nothing. Really makes you think. Like, that means nothing. Really makes you think means. I mean, that reminds me of just how I hate in most, like, editorials that just have these statements that have no clear direction. It's like, say what you mean. Like, don't say, like, you know, isn't it interesting that this is, like, why is it interesting? Why? Could you tell me? That drives me crazy. They use Mojo to punch up, like, every scene.

Yeah. Yeah, throw a up like every scene. Yeah. Throw a monkey in this scene. Have Lisa scream at it. I love that he's hanging around the A plot. I just like that he runs into that. Even though he's turned into like a glutton, at least in this moment, he's like, he remembers his training,

which is to imitate what he sees someone else do. And there's a wild monkey running loose in this house at all times. Yes. It's like Lisa's, you know, maybe that's lisa's really on edge in this episode too is that monkey's driving her crazy as well the monkey doesn't interact with bart i don't think i think he's the one that in the family that doesn't have a scene with mojo he escapes lisa's hatching a plan it also be like you said very very frank grimesy it reminds me too i wonder if it's like a holly Hollywood insider thing about just, like, co-stars that hate each other on shows

trying to hurt each other. Like, say that was a scuttlebutt behind the scenes on the then-airing Sybil, that she was really mad at Christine Baranski for getting all the good lines in the show. Oh, come on, man. I seem to recall that Connie Chung was extremely unpopular during her run oh yeah yeah

and then uh well she lost her she uh connie chung lost her job when she aired that newt gingrich's mom thing as i recall really hurt really hurt her career what was that newt gingrich's mom newt gingrich's mom got interviewed by connie and she asked her seemingly implied that it was off the record asked Newt's mom, what does he think of Hillary Clinton? And the mom said to the effect of, he thinks she's a bitch. And when they played that, Newt Gingrich was like, how dare you? That's my mother. You can't interview her. She didn't know it was on the record. So that, uh, that cost Connie her, her job, at least on that one show. I think she landed on her feet fine.

Faux Republican outrage. Oh, yeah. It works even better if it takes down a female journalist. You know, it's all the better use of it. Yeah, I mean, Newt Gingrich would certainly never stoop so low as to talk to someone's mom. He's a man of integrity. He's got a giant head, too. Yeah.

Big head. I still think Gorka's probably got a big head. Between Gorka and Hannity and Gingrich, I want to think gorka gorka's probably between like gorka and hannity and gingrich i want to weigh those heads gorka's not even fat like nuke ingrich is fat with a fat head like gorka's head it's just monstrous anyway uh so we come back from break bart is uh really overdoing it on the ceiling for such a young boy that he's sweating so much under the cameras i've never put sealants on my face it's it sounds like it's it seals your pores and prevents sweating i guess i think it's like after you put your makeup on ah okay you spray that stuff on very conscientious of this kind of thing he takes it seriously you are right he wants to look his best for the tv

and also i love he has these like stupid opulent accessories like that letter opener yeah i remember that when we uh were at a website working together, Henry, and we were being filmed with really expensive equipment and professional lighting by a professional guy. Yeah. But no one had money or cared. So just like, oh, you're about to be on camera here. Wipe yourself off with this paper towel, this dry paper towel. Just rub it all over your greasy face.

Just like, can I get something else? I guess that's better than having a greasy face as one like scraped over with a paper towel. I'd have made a makeup lady. Well, that's not in the budget. Makeup and hair. We were lucky to have a fucking cameraman, honestly. And one as good as we had.

That guy, I think that guy got out of there quick. Yeah, yeah. But yes, Bart falls for it. Dear Bart, I came to this country hoping to share the American dream. But after many years of back-breaking labor, I find myself homeless and sleeping in a junkyard. Oh, how terrible, Redon. Should I abandon hope or fight on bravely against impossible odds? Oh, this is too perfect.

It is, isn't it? I'm going to put him on the air tonight, live. Oh, Bart, you'll have to ride your bike pretty fast to get out there in time. I'll just take the chopper. They gave you a chopper? When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you.

We care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care. Care, care. Did I mention that we care? Yardley's so good in that scene. Yeah, yeah.

Read on. It is, isn't it? She rarely, Lisa gets to play sinister like that, rarely. Again, Bart's taking this very seriously. He's got to do this live tonight on the air. Raise some questions about when this airs. Yeah. Yeah.

For a second showing of kids news. George Meyer makes fun of this on the commentary about how in all these shows they have to for plot purposes it has to be live for him to get his comeuppance even though there's no reason to do it live it could easily be a taped segment but that's why you have lines like this is so good i gotta do it live yeah i guess they build that in it those types of lines make no sense but apparently kids news is a big hit because bart has access to the chopper yeah he's well i mean they're not paying him yet but they at least give him stuff like and he even has his own poster for bart's people up in his personal dressing room too i think

they're afraid that they're gonna lose bart you know so they gotta just keep start giving him perks like look it's your own poster also the community did not come together to help willie no i mean they did deport him like two years ago so i guess he's swaying back yeah yeah i mean his medical bills have to be well so it's obvious now when you know the ending but when i first saw this as a kid never even thought once this was going to be willie even though that letter does apply to him yeah i think i just forgot about willie completely i was thinking this entire episode i had totally forgotten about this so when i was watching this episode i was thinking man they really shoehorned in that whole willie thing that was totally random and then at the end when they brought it back i was like well played well done well we were just

talking about in recent episodes how like you totally forget by the end of Trouble with Trillions this was a tax episode. That's right, yeah. Or by the end of Simpsons Tide that it started with Homer losing his job. He never got it back either. You just forget about all those things. But in this

case, they bring it back with a vengeance. It's my first day. But first, we have to close out the Mojo story. You said this monkey would be sweeping the floors and cleaning the gutters. And now he just lies there, struggling to breathe.

What do you want? His cholesterol is through the roof. I want you to take that monkey back so he can be rehabilitated and get a second chance No, no, he's fine. Go on mojo show Marge your happy dance And so on. Mojo, what have they done to you? Pray for Mojo. That's great. Classic line.

I've come around on this, and I think the funnier line in that scene is, and so on. Homer's like, you get it. The pray for mojo line was a fixture for a very long time in my conversations. No, it's just the sense of pray for whatever. Perfect delivery once again. It reminds me of whenever one of those sign language monkeys says something profound. Yeah, yeah. Or when the Congo apes, like, is that an ape or is that a guy in a suit?

It's a guy in a suit. So the end of this episode, or the end of the Mojo storyline, reminds me of reading the entire story of Face Ripper Monkey. Oh, yeah. The chimp that ate the lady's face. Oh, what's the end of that? Because apparently she was, this monkey got extremely fat and lazy and horrifying

and would just sit around and watch TV all day as well. And drink wine, from what I heard. Yeah. Drink the monkey wine. Exactly. And then, of course, once chimps get sexually mature, they get extremely aggressive, and that's what happened.

Jeez. It's a dark story. For some reason, it was a punch. I didn, and that's what happened. Jeez. It's a dark story. I didn't know that part of it, man. It was a hacky punchline in a lot of bad shows like Bill Maher, but it was actually an extremely horrifying and depressing story. Bill Maher laughing at a woman's pain? That doesn't sound right. Oh, it should be noted that Pray for Mojo is the name of a mustard plug album,

the Sky Band mustard plug album the sky band mustard plug anybody yeah 1999 they were like fresh on the pray for mojo heat wow they got fat you know like i'll give them that uh i you could have heard that at any warped tour around uh the i well so that yeah his the dance of mojo's happy dance animation god i love it he's just i gotta say move over, Frank Welker. Dan is doing some great monkey noises. And listening to it just audio only with the heavy labored breathing,

but still a monkey. I also love the description, struggling to breathe. God, the wiki for this is very informative. It has two categories and bullet points so pre-homer condition is happy eager healthy and toilet trained post-homer condition is obese lazy diapered has difficulty breathing uh yeah i'll see yeah that he just he wears a diaper now because he's too lazy

and homer ruined this poor monkey in the space of like two weeks, probably. The kids' news wasn't on for that long. Maybe a month. Also, there's a lot of chocolate stains on the wall in this scene, too. Let's just call it chocolate. Yeah. Monkeys love it. I mean, animators love to draw monkey poo.

They really enjoy that i god man he's just his happy dance the and that he's happy with homer but once he's away from him mojo knows he's doomed like that's when he finally tells the guy pray for mojo and also just the cruelty of homer just dumping him on a front door and running away. At least he left him with the people that gave it to him. Yeah, it's true. He didn't just chuck him in a dumpster or whatever. That was probably the first joke pitch. Just a garbage bag

falling into a dumpster. I bet. Oh man, that's dark. Yeah. It's like Toilet Monkey. I think I was thinking of Toilet Monkey, actually. But yes, the Mojo story is over. We come back to the final broadcast of Kids News, starting with a weird brag from Milhouse. By waking up a little early and having some extra sheets handy,

no one's a wiser. Tomorrow, destroying the evidence. Ew. Thank you, Milhouse. Now it's time for today's special live edition of Bart's People. Lisa, I've just arrived at

the Springfield dump. A lot of things get thrown out here. Sometimes, even a human being. Somewhere in this pile of twisted metal and soiled mattresses lives a poor immigrant whose home was cruelly taken away by you groundskeeper willie um uh so you're the immigrant i'm here to help help

you destroyed my house and reduced me to living in a dump. Groundskeeper Willie, furious with the government that let him down. I'm Bart. Pretty strong to throw that engine. Yeah. I mean, this is the most violent we've seen Groundskeeper Willie. He lives in the dump. Yeah. He's going to kill Bart. If left to his devices, he will bash Bart's head into mush.

If you think about the reality of the scene, though, it's like a live snuff film is happening in front of people's eyes. Sorry, Kat. He's temporarily insane. It's true. I guess he's pointing that out because he's a legal defense. Yeah. Well, he doesn't get arrested at the end of this, though, clearly, which is his attempted murder, what he's doing here. But I totally forgot how funny Milhouse is in just this one little bit here.

He's telling a story about how to get rid of – it's a bedwetting joke. He's wet the bed. Yeah, yeah. And he's telling people the strategy of how to get rid of your wet bed stuff. And the soiled mattresses that cut to him like – that's so good. Milhouse offering a good life hack. Well, though how many many, you know, a kid can't throw away that many mattresses.

That's a lot of mattresses. Milhouse should invest in those monkey diapers. Milhouse is the mojo of kids' news. And so Lisa has a good little laugh at first on the reveal of Groundskeeper Willie, which she knew the whole time and set up. So Lisa's got to make her way over to the dump without the helicopter.

She's going to have to ride her bike pretty fast. Yeah. While a small boy tries to outrun a large man bent on murdering him. Who's in excellent condition. Yeah, he's very strong. And she leaves the show to Nelson, and Nelson very stoically puts on his blazer

and then starts doing a fart armpit another time killer joke because he cuts the camera too and he turns around and does it to the other camera i love that yeah as a kid i could never master the fart armpit i was jealous of other kids who could do it it's uh i could never get the uh the technique down you need those smooth child armpits did you guys ever do it as children? Yeah, it was fun. Hell no. It sounds like you were missing out, Kat. A lot of fun. Hand farts, arm farts.

As Bart is being chased by Willie, Willie, without changing his voice at all, convinces Bart that it's the police. Oh, we got you. We want to give you a medal. Oh boy! And he just jumps out. He refers to himself as a jolly policeman. Yes.

I mean, part isn't the sharpest, shiniest penny in the fountain. Yes, yeah. But an English cat. Yeah. But I love the reason. Oh, we got Willie. Yes. And I like, too, the animation.

They make him menacing while he's still kind of dragging his leg from being broken by Bart too. He has to be in massive jets also. He was like mangled. His leg is all mangled. God damn it, Bart. He has reason to be a little bit upset with Bart. You still can't kill a child just because you're that mad, but he should be mad

at Skinner for not punishing Bart. Or the police. Or society. We learn about society right yeah but right before that clip when he bart pops out and then goes back down and willie smashes the trunk bart is dead like he caves that in right where bart is and it has at least broken his spine like it's it's scary how much damage he does on that trunk of that old beetle. That is not happening on Rugrats. No, no. This is where Rugrats stops in this episode with the murderous Willie.

But yes, Lisa's here to save Bart with emotions. Stop! Get away with you! I gotta finish him off while I'm still temporarily in sin! No, you can't hurt Bart! He's... well, he's your son! What? Well, not literally.

But, in a way, isn't he everyone's son? For you see, that little hellraiser is the spawn of every shrieking commercial, every brain-rotting soda pop, every teacher who cares less about young minds than about cashing their big, fat paychecks. No. Bart's not to blame. You can't create a monster and then

whine when he stomps on a few buildings. I'm Lisa Simpson. You're right. It's all Willie's fault. I've been a terrible father god uh yeah i think george meyer was talking about how that was fun to write because it was too easy it turns out bad writing is fun because it's easy to write yeah uh it's it's great bad i mean in a way like the term in a way should be banned from all journalism, I think. But in a way, isn't that true?

Yeah. And just Dan's reaction like, what? You can hear the room. The shriek. Yeah. God, that's good. And Lisa's off-the-cuff speech where she blames teachers. I have to think that's Lisa just winging it.

And she never obviously. Of course she would assume that a teacher would have a big fat paycheck because they're a teacher i mean the the the joke construction is that she blames things that conservative folks would normally blame kids being bad on commercials and soda but when it comes to the third thing she blames teachers because they're too rich and lazy which says as the opposite of teacher unions if all if we could just start some charter schools in springfield the bart would finally learn some things lisa's speech is great that she even ends it with i'm lisa simpson and willie knows the story's always like you're right i have to walk away now they're all trained by tv and they just let him leave they just let him go away away. But yeah, Lisa saved Bart's life, which is fine because she did almost kill him through throwing him into this trap.

But then we get to a heartfelt ending that must be instantly undercut by this show. Hey, Lisa, thanks. Boy, that phony schmaltz of yours sure is powerful stuff. Yeah, but I have a certain respect for that whole truth and hard work thing that you do. You know, Bart, if we combine your showmanship with my integrity, we could make kids really care about the news. You're right. If we work together, there's no stopping us. The new approved kids news has been canceled. Stay tuned for the Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour.

You can count on us, Mr. President. Major Nugent, Gooey, Coco, put down those entertaining Mattel products. Colonel Catafi is up to his old tricks. Let's power up! I can't believe they canceled us for this. Shut up! I can't believe they canceled us for this. Shut up! I'm trying to watch this. Chocolate Wings!

Definitely that screaming guitar is so Power Rangers. It's Power Rangers, yeah. The Chocobots design, and maybe because the name construction too, they really remind me of GoBots, like the worst Transformers. They're more Transformers, but of this era, the music and stuff is kind of like Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it almost feels too late to make fun of 80s cartoons that were just toy commercials.

Way too late. But it's still pretty funny, especially the little paws on them putting down the toys and how they're just right in the center of camera. And how one is like combing a Barbie's hair. Yes, yeah. Even though they're all like male robots. They're empowered by their specific candy bars. Are you saying that males can't play with Barbies?

Not male robots. Not male robots. I'm very gender conforming when it comes to robots. Not with humans that robot did not have a bow in its head Major Nugent is my favorite Major Nugent is their leader I wish I would have gone out on a better joke

than just the shot of the robot I wish there was one more thing I only wish it had been the whole credits then it would have been just that static robot shot and like I said Kirkland been on just that static robot shot and and like i said kirkland worked on these shows right yeah and so i think he's really uh dealing with some stuff here like oh i know how to animate this garbage uh though if we're gonna again knock the show and it repeats a

joke this ending is the mr plow ending oh yeah Oh, yeah, you're right. Oh, yeah. Together, no one can stop us. And in this case, Chocobots are God. Yeah, they're my God. It makes more sense, though, because healthy, wholesome, good journalism totally will be cut in favor of something more entertaining. They probably found a cheaper way to hit their educational standards.

The Chocobots probably talk about math at the end. I bet that's it, yeah. The Chaka, the Sailor Moon says. Now, that would have been a good joke. Mars and Mattel upped their sponsorship deal, and they're like, all right. Well, this is an edge that Family Guy has over Simpsons that the Simpsons writers hate those shows.

They never watch them as kids, so they don't know how to make fun of them as somebody who grew up with them. Family Guy, when they do a Transformers joke hate those shows they never watch them as kids so they don't know how to make fun of them as somebody who grew up with them family guy when they do a transformers joke or a he-man joke it's by people who grew up with those things so without that kind of specific nostalgia they wouldn't know to do a gi joe uh psa type that's true but that is that should have been the post credits thing there. Learning about like crossing safety with

gooey or something. It's not too late to animate that. Send me back in time and I'll write that joke. But I do like the static shot of it. I mean, they're animated in a more limited style too than The Simpsons normally has. And they even have like a whole mouth chart for the Chocobot

mouths moving. And it did work. It makes me want some chocolate right now. They should have made those in the toys. I'd watch the Mars and Mattel Chocobot quick energy power hour before I watch kids' news, I'll be honest. I like the phrase quick energy because it's only used on the Simpsons. These wieners will give me the quick energy I need. It's such a sell like, well, don't we all need quick energy then eat chocolate it's almost healthy right uh i agree grab a

snickers this isn't too far from power sauce either i would say too yeah you know that's the push now neca toys if any neca toys people are listening i think you still have the simpsons license next san diego comic-con make the chocobots. Sell the Chocobot sets. They've made so many more frivolous things than that. Hell yeah. I mean, the best one I saw, well, they did the wonderful guest star series, like the signed Bret Hart I have, NECA did. I remember Hot Wheels, they did The Homer, a Hot Wheel of The Homer. That was pretty cool. But I now want the Chocobots. That's the next one.

That was a great episode, I think, better than I remember. It made me think of early edition, but with girls. I think the comments on journalism were really funny. I mean, there's some lower points to it, but usually when things get slowed down, a monkey shows up and does something funny. And almost dies. They should do that every episode, just to have a monkey show up and does something funny and almost dies they should do that every episode

just to have a monkey show up in the in the lulls it's one of my favorites and has been for a long time uh pray for mojo was a line that i quoted forever and i do think that it does have something to say i don't think it always executes it perfectly but the whole real news versus entertainment news is a point maybe worth making and the execution like i said a little mangled but it it sticks to landing ultimately so i i watched that episode i got some huge laughs out of it crazy cat lady is always a great oh yeah some it's a bit of a slower episode for me i think it's uh we're reaching the end of the season so it's the end of the season like fatigue that's the end of the season fatigue that's cropping up. But I agree, a lot of great stuff comes out of it, like the Cat Lady and Mojo and a few other good jokes.

It's just hard to look at this commentary after we have the Twitter president, basically. It just seems so innocent. But it's not this episode's fault, of course. It's so of its time in the way that it's critiquing the media because obviously everything would change in just like five years. I mean, Fox News had existed, but it was not the Fox News that we knew yet. Not until 9-11. Yeah. Well, you think about like five years later, Fox News would be pushing the Iraq War and that kind of thing.

Yeah. And blogs would be appearing and then social media five years after that so yeah and i guess there would be better versions of this story on the simpsons about like um as news continued to change they would keep up with this commentary especially with kent brockman so yeah they changed with the time so we are in 1998 right now things are much different and possibly more innocent than or we at least didn't know as much but uh thanks for listening to talking simpsons everybody cat you're our special guest can you tell us what you're up to where we can find you and check out your stuff well if you want to see what real journalism looks like i suggest you go to edit uh we're doing simpsons journalists i'm sorry i suggest you go to us gamer where i am the editor-in-chief we're about to go

to e3 all of our post e3 coverage should be up by the time this episode goes up and then also i'm the host of acts of the blood God, which is our RPG podcast. We got a new segment going. It's our console RPG quest, in which we go through every single console and talk about its RPG legacy, the best RPGs to come out of it, talk a lot about its history and everything.

We just did the Sega Master System and the Game Gear in our most recent episode. Nice! As for us, we are Talking Simpsons. If you want to support our show and get every episode of this podcast a week ahead of time and ad-free, go to patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons and for the low cost of $5

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H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G. Thank you so much for listening, folks. We'll see you next week for our 200th episode, Trash of the Titans. Hey, I'm on TV! Fart! Come on, quit fooling around, you guys. So, we meet again, Mr. Bond.

Fart, get out of my anchor chair. Silence, Octopussy.