Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Homer And Apu

Episode Date: May 17, 2017

Apu loses his job thanks to Homer’s smashed hat, and it leads to him moving in with the Simpsons for an exciting episode, not to mention James Woods’ very funny guest appearance…

this week's talking simpsons is brought to you by casper premium mattresses and you listeners can go to caspertrial.com slash laser time and save 50 on any new mattress i heartily endorse this event or product product. Acer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Who else is here with me today? Hey, Henry Gilbert here. And just go about your daily routine like I'm not wearing a hat. Ordinary Van, Chris Anteaster. Exactly. And today's episode is Homer and Apu.

What fun, Pete. Oh, man. Smoking those dank Indian nugs. And this episode aired on February 10th, 1994. What happened on this mythical day in history, Chris? Oh my God! Good Lord, Bobby! The 1994 Winter Olympics still dominate the airwaves

while Ace Ventura's pet detective is at the top of the box office. However, Thomas J. is back and he's pissed off in My Girl 2. And sadly, Dukes of Hazzard's boss hog is stomping his hat in the clouds. By that, I mean heaven and dead. And what's the guy's name? R.I.P. Sorrel Book.

What a class act he was. What happened in My Girl 2? Just like My Girl 1, Home Alone dies. She met the kid from Last Action Hero. Oh, really? Did the bees come back? She kills all the bees. Not the bees come back? She kills all the bees. Beta gets rid of all the bees.

And Ace Ventura was quite a shocker. He finally made it. Jim Carrey finally made it by being honestly the most annoying human ever. What is better about the first Ace Ventura compared to

the other ace ventura and of many other jim carrey films that follow his pattern is that he is surrounded by characters who are correct in saying you're insane yeah shut up like just shut up you're annoying and it also ends with a very tasteful joke a very what transphobic joke? Oh, hell. It's insanely transphobic. It aged like fine milk. It was very... Today's episode is Homer in a poo, and I want to say it was the first episode

credited to Greg Daniels, who, of course, is one of the major forces in TV. After he left The Simpsons, he co-created King of the Hill with Mike Judge. Also has Parks and Rec and The American Office. He shepherded The American Office., he co-created King of the Hill with Mike Judge. Also has Parks and Rec and The American Office. He shepherded The American Office. And he's sort of just like one of the greatest TV writers now currently working.

He has been a major deal for a long time. He was a friend of Conan's on Saturday Night Live and even before that. So that before, the mug Conan has on his desk to this day was given to him by Greg Daniels. Right. And it's just awesome whenever Conan would cross over with The American Office because you knew it was really a Greg Daniels. Right. And it's just awesome whenever Conan would cross over with the American office because you knew it was really a Greg Daniels thing. And that Greg Daniels

self-described on commentaries as adult Milhouse. And he says, other writers on here maybe look like Milhouse, but I am the Milhouse-iest of the writers. And we saw Greg Daniels in person

at a King of the Hill script reading in San Francisco. We were within 100 feet of him. What? He didn't know we had gone over the line on our restraining order. That's true. That was a joke I was trying to come up with. Anyway, it was awesome to be in the room with him.

He did all the stage directions on it. And that's why he would eventually leave The Simpsons. His last episode he wrote was Bart Sells His Soul. Oh, okay. And then would leave immediately to co-showrun King of the Hill with Mike Judge. God, I love King of the Hill. And I want to say, to get this out of the way, I feel like people are going to complain if we say this,

but I have to say it. I feel like Oakley and Weinstein treated Apu's ethnicity with a little more respect in their episode. I feel like, and I talked with Henry about this, I feel like in this episode, Apu is sort of like now a Balki-style character where it's like, anything we make up about India is now true. And that can be the joke. So it actually wasn't as bad as I was prepared for. Same here, same here. And I wasn't just like clutching my pearls and weeping and watching the TV.

There may be two jokes where I was like, eh, come on. But there were at least jokes of like, well, maybe this writer hasn't been to India, but they read a book or they looked at a photo or something. Though, I definitely, there are bulky type moments of like, well, in my village we did like a... This village is a real place.

Off the River Gange. A couple miles south of the River Gange. But also, something that dates this episode is that James Woods is a piece of shit. He sucks. He really sucks. I mean, regardless of your politics,

he is just a howling maniac. He did sue somebody for making a joke out of... From beyond the grave. A dead man. He sued the guy for talking about how he totally doesn't do coke, but this guy joked that he is a coke monster. And the lawsuit ended because the man he was suing died, and he acted like he won.

James Woods seems like a really bad guy. And James Woods in this episode is my favorite celebrity playing themselves in Simpsons history. I've always loved his voice acting from this to Family Guy to Hercules. Yeah, I mean, it's all great, but just knowing... It's Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom Hearts 2, just knowing what a sour, awful, hateful man he is. I mean, just please, just go to his Twitter and read five tweets. You'll be like,

oh my god, James. Removed from who he is in reality. I thought you were going to go in for the... Not the brown face of it, because I just got shit for that recently by saying the love guru wasn't brown face. Well,

technically it isn't now, but in this case... Because of a stupid caveat in the movie, but you can complain about it in the exact same way. Sure. But yeah, I think we had this conversation

with somebody on our Facebook channel about Apu being mildly offensive to the Indian audience. And that's not up to any of us here to decide. No, we're all white men. I got some shit too for defending Short Circuit. I love those movies so much.

He's literally brownface. And I don't know how to stop loving those films. Regardless of how that makes you feel. We grew up as white people and I imagine several people of Indian descent were growing up in school, and people were like, hey, Apu.

Pakistani kids, I watched it. Fine with it. Yeah, exactly. Fine with it. Well, in my case, I know people who grew up and did not care for that kind of treatment. No, no, for sure.

And I will say, you're right, and I agree with you, but we got a grandfather in Apu. He's great. Well, I mean, the show, to be fair, this is not just us being like left-wing loonies. The show addressed this in an episode with Aziz Ansari.

Yeah, that's true. And I forget what the commentary was. I watched it maybe two years ago, but it came to a point where it was like, we have to address this, this wealth in the room. And for a long time, the show did not use a poo. And I was just like, I always wondered why. Like, why didn't he come back? But I feel like it was this issue in particular. About three years

ago, like a wave of think pieces came in about it. Yeah. It was something that's worth talking about. It was one of those moments where I realized how a parent, or like a grandparent who would just say, look, it was blackface. It was the time. We didn't like minstrelsy, but it's just, it was what it was.

Oh, no, I'm still like that. Just leave it. He really is. But it felt like a similar thing to me of just just like i just grew up with apu and didn't think about it and there is part of like a knee-jerk reaction that you have just like don't take my thing about it it was fine when i was a kid it was fine and it's fine leave it alone i don't want to think about how for like 10 years ago the most famous indian person on tv was played by hank azaria yeah that's true and that that as Mike Reese on the Gilbert Gottfried podcast,

he talks about how when they created the character of Apu, it was just the guy who runs the quickie mart and who's behind the counter. And when they wrote it, they were very clear to each other, like it's so hacked to be Indian. Don't do Indian. It's got to be a white guy. And then Hank Azaria, just to get a laugh, he does. He just says, thank you.

He does the voice. And everyone's like, ah-ha. And he was just going to be Indian from then on. Yeah, and not to go on too long about this, but I mean, I was first aware of this. I wasn't aware that he could be an offensive character. But in 2007, 10 years ago, when they started dressing up certain 7-Elevens like the Quickie Mart, there were people who worked in them like, I'm Indian. I don't want a caricature of me

next to me while I work. This is bullshit. I went to one of those in Chicago. It was fun, but then after reading news stories, I thought about that and I was like, that would suck if you're a person who is made fun of because of your authenticity. I think we're treating this delicately and if you're yelling at us, it's only because you don't like thinking about it. And we're here because it's our job to think about it. I'm not telling you to feel

bad. I'm just letting you know this is how I feel about it. We thought about it. These are the perspectives I've heard beyond my own, which is important to consider. Oh, God, we're going to get so much hate for that. Yes, just please. It's actually a pretty beautiful way to say it. So let's get to that opening then.

Oh, another Indian stereotype, which is not an Indian stereotype that I know of. Do they steal money? Are they overcharging things? Price gouging. No. I want $2 worth of gas, please. How much is your petty candy?

Surprisingly expensive. This is what I think of your store! Silly customer! You cannot hurt a Twinkie! That was pretty funny. And I think, really, the season 7 episode, Much Apoo About Nothing kind of explains who Apoo is. Like he came to America with hopes and dreams and he learned no when you're in America

you have to rip people off. That's how you exist in America is to work until you die and rip people off. I think that's the big problem people have with immigrants working in this country in general. Immigrants? Is that they come here and they work as the system allows them to work.

And whenever anybody feels ripped off by someone who's foreign, like coming in here, doing like, yeah, this happens to you every day from every company. And the one guy at an entry level job is where you start to pick a fight. It was who you pick a fight with. This is something I have to do for the plot purposes in this episode is that Apus, until this point, had been the proprietor of Quickie Mart.

All the things he did were what an owner would do and he wouldn't wear an outfit of the 7-Eleven. They had to have him wear an outfit because when he's ousted he has to have another outfit.

He has to go back to his stock design. But they also have to make it clear that a guy can fire him from the place he owns. It wasn't that they shut down the Quickie Mart. It's that he can be fired by the Quickie Mart Corporation.

And I guess until this point, you never even thought of, like, are there more than one Quickie Mart in the world of the Sims? There's a line here that I'm overcome with love for it. What, in Ohio it's known as Stop-O-Mart? Yes, that exact line. Growing up in Ohio where Carl's Jr. was Hardy's, I totally identified with that. Growing up in a town where I saw commercials every day for a 7-Eleven and had none. Oh, yeah. There were no 7-Elevens for me either.

Where I lived. But Martin's voice is way off there, too. It is drawn to be Martin who's like, how much is your penny candy? But it's not truly Martin. Roosie Taylor wasn't. There's no more penny candy. Well, and also that whole exchange there was done on Inside the Actors Studio for the Simpsons when the entire Simpsons cast did Inside the Actors Studio with James Lipton. They went through some of their famous bits to get them to do their characters live in front of people,

which when you watch it, it's incredible. If you're a Simpsons fan and you haven't seen their Inside the Actors Studio, it's amazing. Just seeing the way Dan Castellaneta contorts his face to do Homer. He's got to shove his mouth down into his neck. It looks painful. But so I actually have the clip here of that bit being done between James Lipton and Hank Azaria. How much would $2 worth of gas be? That's $4.20.

$4.20. $4.20. And tell me, how much is the penny candy? Surprisingly expensive. Boom. There it is. I have to say. And who's that laughing in the front row there? Who is that?

That's George Plimpton. No way. George Plimpton was just there to watch it. Future Simpsons guests. I mean, as fun as it is to watch them do the voices, I kind of hate that special because you don't learn anything about the actors. It's like him leading them into doing lines from the show like, so I hear Homer likes donuts. It was so fucking indulgent.

Yeah. I believe you also prepared this thing to say to me, didn't you, Nancy? It's interesting to point out, I guess, for this episode. And two good things, too. Weirdly, the WTF special isn't great about getting into Hank Azari Simpson's characters I mean yeah but he talks about it a lot on there's a long episode of Howard Stern

you can look up on YouTube where he talks about how everybody ended up getting their voice about how Moe was supposed to be like Al Pacino from Dog Day Afternoon before the greatest pre that Al Pacino like the fucking quiet guy and he's like that's not

gruff and I don't do that and then I was supposed to be just specifically and he talks where all the voices came from on I saw it recently so it's on Howard Stern but that Hank Azaria was

the guy to voice the character who has two lines and that's it and we're getting to a point in the Simpsons where all of those characters are getting episodes and arcs and backstories.

Yeah, yeah. And I don't know. I think that's really neat. I mean, this is Apu's first real episode about him. Yeah. As a child, I didn't appreciate his Twinkie bashing. We learn more about Homer's fascination and love of expired food as we saw with the sandwich from Fish Names. No, wait.

Selma's Choice. Yes. I mean, I'm the same way. Day old shit. But he eats a bunch of expired ham that Apu scratches out the expiration date of. From 1989. It was 86.

86, yeah. He goes back in to give him the business. Your old meat made me sick. Oh, I'm so sorry. Please accept five pounds of frozen shrimp. This shrimp isn't frozen, and it smells funny. Okay, ten pounds.

Woo-hoo! We should be making a list of how many times that ambulance cut away. I love the smash cut to the ambulance. It's so fast. It's wonderful. So, by the way, shrimp refrigerated can stay good for four days. You looked that up. I did look that up.

Jesus. But shrimp like that, he just had loose buckets of shrimp. That fully was gross, just like wet sloshing in a metal bucket. I get ashamed every time I eat a hot dog from a gas station. I love seafood.

I have been exactly, I have been, I know I've been in Homer's situation of just like eating something that I definitely wanted to eat and even halfway through I'm like my stomach's not feeling good but I gotta finish this

I gotta finish this cookie, I gotta finish this ice cream I've already I'm already going to have a horrible time on the toilet already so I have been like must finish but just I'm like bowels clenching How could I stay mad at you? Homer's reaction to it is just Albert like, bowels clenching. How could I stay mad at you?

Albert's reaction to it is just like, bowels clenching. His description of it is great. It is really good. And then we learn that Kent Brockman has a Scams and Flams style show. It is so scary. It is so wonderful. With McGruff the Crime Dog. This is one of my favorite clips of the whole show.

I love this joke so much. That's great. Brought to you by... favorite jokes so much that's great that dog can sell anything lisa points out that he could work with kent to get revenge on the 7-eleven or on quickie mart but kent in this entire just season let's just say in season five kent has been useless and an insane person that's true who rants on screen and is not a reporter the last episode bart gets famous he refused to read news he didn't do reporting now now he's smoking and fielding resources and he's on the scene for everything he's investigative yes he's an investigative fielding resources, and he's on the scene for everything. He's investigative. Yes, he's an investigative reporter.

The true journalist, Lisa, says that, well, okay, this is really dumb. The case that can tinker is old geezer. This Bite Back was a riff on a show that existed in the LA area, went, I think, nationwide. No way. I assumed it was the crime dog. The dog character. But it's based on the show Fightback.

Which was a consumer advocacy show from the early 70s and into the early 90s. It's hosted by a man named David Horowitz. We're not going to remember it because we didn't grow up in LA and we probably didn't see it. But it was so famous. David Horowitz made an appearance on a show

we all did grow up watching that seems very, very, very old. This is a clip of David Horowitz made an appearance on a show we all did grow up watching that seems very, very, very old. This is a clip of David Horowitz from Fightback on the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. Oh, no. What? The Mario's Fightback. I'm David Horowitz,

and tonight we're going to fight back against Schlock. Is he talking about us? You better believe it we're at the mario brothers uh what do you call this place we call it home home and they claim that they can dissolve any clog in three minutes or less with their mario brothers clog cleaner the very best, here's my clog sink. You guys can begin when you're ready. We are ready.

That is a great prop, by the way. Just like grade school stickers spelling out Mario Brothers. This is the only thing we would have seen with this guy in it. But he made a huge impact on people in L.A. At first I thought you were going to show the shake the crime stick guy. Who is based on a real person. Yeah, he's based on a real person, too. I saw Bob do that character live about cybercrime.

Mr. Show loved their scams and flammies. Yeah, FF Woody Cooks. So that, I mean, that Horowitz guy, every local news place stole that. Every local news was like, we're going to fight back. Like, back when consumer advocacy didn't mean attacking women about video games. Yes. It meant I bought this pizza and you stole money from me. Or like, this roofing isn't as good as you said.

I mean, we mentioned it before, but look up Mr. Show Scams and Flams on YouTube. You'll find how they investigate the wishing well store. Wishing wells and such. And this is my real hair. Yeah, but so he works with him, and he's good at his job. This bummed me out, because this is Homer meeting with Kent Brockman, who's now like a fucking chain-smoking hardened journalist after complaining about a Danish... He's Cronkite now.

All right, are you willing to go undercover to nail this creep? No way, man. No way, man. Get yourself another patsy, man. No way am I. Get yourself another patsy, man. No way am I wearing a freaking wire. All right, all right, all right. Would you be willing to wear a hidden camera and microphone? Oh, that I'll wear.

I have to feel that that is a specific reference to some character. It sounds very Dennis Hopper-y. I looked it up. You know, the wiki pages for this say it's a scene from JFK, but I couldn't find a scene like that. It's like a stock line from a cop movie or whatever. I mean, it's like in Serpico. It's in a million things about like, I won't wear a Y.

Serpico is actually, that's probably, if I had to guess, it's probably Serpico. Yeah. We see in the episode Marge vs. the Monorail, we see somebody wearing a turban with a camera in it at Lyle Landley's Monorail class. But clearly they don't have the same camera technology at Channel 6. This camera is 20 years old. I know! I wanted to slam the outdated tech of the giant hat camera, but he's very

clear how long it's been around. You can't have a note on that, but let's hear that. Don't be alarmed, Apu. Just go about your daily routine like I'm not wearing the hat. Your headgear seems to be emitting a buzzing noise, sir. Perhaps you have a bee in your bonnet. Bee!

Homer, that hat's been with the station for 20 years. He had one day left till retirement. Well, time to replenish the hot dog roller. It is encrusted with filth. Oh, well, let's sell it anyway. Now this is just between me and you.

Smashed hat. That's my line of the show. I'll give it up. I didn't gather one. That's the joke. The only runner-up I would give line of the show to. We need money when we got fetish. Yeah, I mean, I feel like that is a perfect line from the mercenary. Just so over the top.

Like, he's giving himself away so much. He's being filmed. He's talking to the hats, too, at the same time. I now have a new animation cell that I want. The sequence of the hot dog rolling to camera. Is there a band-aid on it or something? There's, like, every single insect I've ever rolling is there a band-aid on it or something there's like every single insect i've ever seen yeah and a whole band-aid my issue with the novelty hat is that kent first introduced it by saying technology is so advanced advanced so we can get the cameras down

to fit inside this novelty hat then he says it's almost 20 years old so was it advanced technology or was it from maybe the Maybe the hat was advanced. The housing of the camera. And then Homer can't make it five seconds into his routine of showing the camera to him without having to run away thinking there's a bee in his body. I just love, this whole sequence

has a bunch of dumb cop cliches in it. In like, the scene afterwards where Apu is fired by the head of the quickie mart. Well, oh, I did want to talk about roller hot dogs too so god thank you i i have definitely eaten them i didn't like eating them but i was at a 7-eleven i was like well i don't want a taquito so i guess i'll get a hot dog and there was a while i think ironically i was obsessed with getting the cheeseburger dogs oh whoa they're like They're like rolled meat with old-ass cheese injected in them. They look like they have orange measles.

It feels like the worst thing you could do to your body. Except the 7-Eleven breakfast sandwich. No, 7-Eleven, there are worse meals to have than 7-Eleven. I'll say that. But not many. They're always the meal you have against your will. Since I've worked from home, I've never once eaten at a seven 11.

But also have either of you two guys worked at a place where you made hot dog roller hot dogs. Oh, I did. Oh, it's a movie theater and the movie theater. Yep. We sold hot dogs there.

And the important thing with roller hot dogs is you can't keep them on there for more, more than 30 minutes or else they really start to dry out and become like kind of brown what's the point is it to keep them looking gorgeous it is to cook them evenly so they are being cooked yes the those rollers are hot as shit they they are each they are each a roller and they constantly turning it so it cooks evenly all around and also that the oil will drip off and go down you also have to clean those rollers you got to be careful but how long or well it's cooked is determined by the customer shopping when they buy a convenience store and eventually you will at the movie theater this is a concession stand

in the movie theater you would eventually look at and be like nope put another hot dog on and if somebody orders one right now you just got to tell them wait 30 minutes or no not wait 30 minutes we'd say wait a few minutes and we'll have another hot dog ready. I honestly think that whole setup is just to subliminally advertise you sex with the hot dog. It's just like this glistening tube of meat that's rolling around in oil. It is beautiful to look at. It's going to get worse before it gets better. Bob, that's a wonderful segue.

Oh, wait. Not yet. Because Apu has to be fired first. That's right. Apu Nahasa Pima Petalan, you have disgraced the Quickie Mart Corporation. But, sir, I has to be fired first. That's right. Apu Nahasapimapetalan, you have disgraced the Kwik-E-Mart Corporation. But sir, I was only following standard procedure. Ah, true. But it's also standard procedure to blame any problems on a scapegoat or sacrificial lamb.

Uh-huh. And if I can obtain for you these animals? I'm sorry, Apu. I have no choice. How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero Hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels and much more.

Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier and your world brighter find our net zero hope at electricireland.ie you can no longer wear this name patch and you can no longer tell people about our fried pickles the fucking the holstered price guns is one of my favorite and his actual gun and he tries to kill himself with the hot dog. Yeah, he's like, don't want to live anymore. I feel weird using that voice. You bring up the dick-like nature of the hot dog, but it is clearly not the color of the people of Springfield.

No, it's like brown, isn't it? It's like beige. It's also one of the rare jokes this early in The Simpsons that even though they're yellow, they are white. They are to be seen as white. To be seen as white. Oh, yeah.

Wait, before we get to that, before we get to that. So Apu is exposed, and he gets fired, but he has to be the sacrificial lamb. And I think they kind of had to walk back Apu's character, because until this moment in the episode, it seems like Apu is totally fine with killing people in Springfield and selling bad meat. So then to make him more innocent again, he has to say, no, that's your rules.

I had to enforce your rules. I'm selling all of your bad meat. That's an excellent point. It would make us feel like a victim of middle management. Yes. And then he goes by the guys with their feathers, which I do love that line. The homeless guy's like, who needs money when you got feathers?

But this is one of my favorite lines of all time. I love this scene so much. It's Michael Carrington. What? Michael Carrington. The Simpsons black friend. If there is a black person on The Simpsons that actually sounds like a black actor is voicing him, that's Michael Carrington. Very likely Michael Carrington. A sometimes writer. Maybe like one episode?

Like one freelance script? Yeah, but he is long, he's written on a ton of shows and he's friends, long time friends with The Simpsons. He played Saito Rahim, right? Yep. I like that the term white transcends universes. Well, I mean, look, our skin is not actually white. It's friends, longtime friends with these Simpsons. He played Saito Rahim, right? Yep. I like that the term white transcends universes. Well, I mean, look, our skin is not actually white. It's true, Bobby. We're like pink demons.

Race is just a social color. We're flesh colored. Oh, I'm going to get letters. Oh, no. Crayola, how dare you? This line is one of the greatest ever. Yo, check this out. Black guys drive a car like this.

Yeah, but white guys, see, they drive a car like this. That's like Dave Chappelle's voice. White guy voice. It's true. We're so lame. All of that is so good. I think they're, I mean, we saw this in the, well, we will see this in the Lisa vs. Malibu Stacey episode, but I think they're making fun of Evening at the Improv.

Well, the brick wall. Anything with a brick wall behind you, like Carolyn's Comedy Hour. Yeah, and though I also thought it was Def Comedy Jam a little bit. Well, it's when people talk about the 80s stand-up boom. Yeah. And I have that story to tell another time. It's like when I thought I hated stand-up because, like, when cable started and another station started, it's like we can just broadcast these people

who are already telling jokes to an audience. They'll just do free work for us. That was called Central like 90% of their program. But it was also Fox. Like Fox had like multiple stand-up programs. MTV had stand-up programs. It was fucking crazy. You got a lot of shitty,

shitty, shitty, shitty comics. And that is making fun of a shitty joke. As funny as it is. White guys do this, black guys do this. It's just a shitty premise. And like, Def Comedy Jam maybe?

Because that extended much longer than the comic boom. I looked it up. Def Comedy Jam started airing in 92. And that was started by Def Jam Records and Russell... Russell Simmons. Russell Simmons, yeah. And hosted by Martin Lawrence. It was fucking awesome.

But it was also like the requirement was don't be the comedian from last week and usually be black. And you got some terrible shit on there. And one of my favorite

jokes about it is Chris Rock Show. The Chris Rock Show would air afterwards. And in two episodes they did a sports-style roundup of shitty jokes on Def Comedy Jam. Where two people in suits, like,

so when he's talking about titty-fucking his bitch, this is what he's doing. And they draw circles over it. It's a real Sunday morning quarterback thing. Well, just because a lot of people, a lot of comics didn't love Def Comedy Jam because it wasn't a showcase for everybody. I was more of a BET comic view guy.

That shit is fucking funny. I watched a ton of comic view. I mean, let's know what I sound. I love comic view. I love comic view. I thought it was amazing. By the way, both of his impressions of people driving, I can only, like in sound, all I hear is like Looney Tunes characters in a round bubble-like car. But the animation is great.

I love his butt moving. It's great. I love it. It's like his butt moving. I saw this memed recently with a comparison of a photo of Obama behind a car looking like the black guy act out, and then a photo of Donald Trump hunched

over a car. Since we're already getting shit from people who lean right wing, that is the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen. Regardless of your political place on the spectrum, I feel like that is just like he acting like a toddler. Like, it's big boy day. You're a big boy.

I admittedly hate him. I felt bad for him. The second that went on the air. Even just watching him struggle to climb the ladder into the truck. Great, tremendous vroom, vroom. Yeah. Oh, God, so embarrassing.

One of the most embarrassing times to be an American. Did you see that clip from the President show, the Anthony Atomic show? Oh, God, he's the best. It was him, sadly, sitting on a stoop with security with him, and then a truck starts coming by, and he jumps up like, the truck's here, the truck's here. Come on, do it, do it, do it.

Make the noise. It happened maybe two months ago, but look up Vic Berger's edit of that. It's amazing. It's like, I think he does kill people at the end of that video. Yes. But so Homer is interrupted by Apu

in one of the greatest fu act breaks of the day yeah it's career yeah i didn't get the sound of that exactly but i do i did love it like this is the sign of it's a good callback later on well the episode yeah it is really because like i'd seen it so many times but i always forgot it is a very bulky bulky thing to say in my in meeples we do this dance probably one of the things people consider offensive about Apu yeah but

strangling people is how we apologize well that you take that pose and at least the difference between him and Belki is that he was Apu was at least

smart enough to realize oh you know I can see that this would be weird many have died needlessly many have died needlessly and then Homer screams from the end of the

act one into act two which is pretty good. Yeah. But Apu does eventually atone. I have come to make amends, sir. At first I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service. You're selling what now?

I'm selling only the concept of karmic realignment. You can't sell that. Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos. He's got me there. I love that and Homer talking about the truths of the Buddha and Black Widower. I just love the strange religious knowledge he has. He must have read an article recently. It fits with his surprising knowledge of Supreme Court justices.

Every once in a while,er is smarter than you think they need more jokes like that instead of just he's the stupidest guy in the world which he is in this episode and homer reacting to him raking the leaves and being mad they're doing chores and then also he makes lisa do wood chopping like that's kind of. And raking the yard is Marge's job. Like, what? That's your job. Raking the treeless yard. For the longest time, I didn't know what a chipwich was. Then I get a chipwich where I grew up. I never had a chipwich. I ate a million ice cream sandwiches.

Or It's It's if you're local. I've had one of those in my life. They're great. It's one of the most fattening things per object you can eat. That's kind of why I only ate one of them. But I never had a Chipwich for a very long time, which is just, it is just a chocolate chip ice cream cookie. The best ice cream cookie I've ever had was in Berkeley, California, which was a place called Cream. Oh, yeah. And they make it for you fresh. You're like, this is

a hot, out-of-the-oven cookie, and we are putting ice cream on it right now, and you better eat fast, but they are delicious together. I believe, do you know that's a Wu-Tang acronym? Cookies rule everything around me. Cash rules everything around me. Get the cookies. I know all the words to Method Man. So Pooh begins sort of

working for the Simpsons, and he serves them a delicious meal, which sort of working for the Simpsons and he serves them a delicious meal which sort of made me gave me weird ideas about Indian food until I ate it like I don't know 15 years later.

If you're from a small town like me and maybe you Bob Oh yeah. Like I I went to I ate at Indian most of my friends

were like Indian Pakistani and no they're not the same but like those were my best friends growing up. They would just always order us pizza and they're not the same. But those were my best friends growing up. They would just always order us pizza and they would cook for themselves. I see.

I think to not explain to us why their food was different. When I was a little kid, Indian food, or even when I was like 16, Indian food seemed too crazy to me. I was like, I've never eaten this. Same here. The first time I touched it, it's a little matar paneer. I'm like, this is the best shit I've ever eaten. I didn't have it until I moved 40 miles away from my hometown uh and I was maybe 24 and I was like

oh Indian food I guess I'll try that this is kind of weird maybe I won't like it I was like this is so good and now I where I live in uh in Berkeley there's like six Indian places within walking distance like where do I want to get a paneer today there is a place in Tahoe that is it's a cheap ass hotel that is all is owned by Indian folks. Room service Indian. Oh, my gosh. And it's the best place of all time. I wish I remember the name.

It's some garlic naan. I finally tried some when I had a couple of vegetarian friends in like 19 or 20. Because they love going to Indian places in Florida, in northern Florida. It was much more likely it was well it's much more likely you'd find an indian restaurant than a vegetarian restaurant yeah yeah yeah and indian food because they they don't they make stuff with meat you're getting a chicken marsala and all that stuff but they also will have a lot of meat-free dishes so if you're if you're a vegetarian you can do that my is jira aloo, which is garbanzo beans

and potatoes. I will say, though, I did have Lisa's fear and it is my thing of like, I am too white. I am too lame. I don't want spicy food. We've never described what Henry eats,

by the way. If it can't be drawn on The Simpsons, Henry will not eat it. Come on. That's the only ingredients he'll eat. I've eaten a lot of Indian food. Pies are easy to draw. Hot dogs with mustard on them, burgers with cheese. I don't put mustard on hot dogs.

Plain hot dogs for me. Plain hot dogs. The joke here works because Indian spiciness is on a next level of spiciness. Because it's like, I feel like we have American spiciness, which can get pretty intense. And then we have things like Japanese spiciness, where it's like, whenever I go to a Japanese place, I always get the spiciest thing. Because it's kind of mild compared to other ethnicities. That's what I love about it. Indian or Thai.

Yeah. And your chips are a joke, by the way. Why are there chips? We're swimming hots. Oh, yeah. The Americans. I have had friends go to Indian restaurants who they love spiciness. And they're just like, I want this really spicy.

And then they kind of have to tell them again, like, look, I know I'm just like, I want this really spicy and they say, and then they kind of have to like tell them again, like, look, I know I'm white but I really do mean spicy. My friend, one of my best friends did that as the funniest thing

I've ever seen because I used this line because he was such a fucking dickhead about it. Like, I want it spicy, like really spicy and the waiter walks away

and like grabs her by the arm. No, no. I mean, really. Thai spicy. And he comes back and he just looks like he's having an epiphany with every bite. I've never experienced this much pain. And so I said this line, he didn't get it, and now we can all get it great. Lisa, is that too spicy for you?

I can see through time. Stop being such babies. You can't be afraid to try new things. For instance, tonight I'm using a... Apu, what do you call this thing again? A napkin. Outrageous. It's one of my favorites.

So one of the jokes they cut from this episode, which would air on the... 138th episode of Spectacular. Which I think helps some of the potentially offensive content go down easier is that Homer is watching an Indian movie and he was like

oh this is so funny their clothes are different from my clothes so you kind of get like the idea like okay you shouldn't laugh at Apu because he's different a dumb person would Homer is bad and don't be like Homer of laughing at it but they just cut it for time I guess. Yeah, but it was a total

Bollywood throwback. We shouldn't say that though because how sensitively Matt Graney wanted to deal with the one fish, two fish. Yeah, he had tons of notes in there. If you, we talk about it in the

season two or three wrap up that Matt had notes on there of like, please be careful drawing these Japanese people hire Japanese actors he kind of called himself like PC Matt

strikes again but really guys if he was giving those notes in 94 he really was ahead of the curve of like all comedy writers. This storyboard is not on the season 5 discs but I guarantee you there are a lot of Matt Groening notes about how to treat a poo in this episode where he was being very careful with how they handled him.

Yeah, it's not as bad as you would fear for it. I read those think pieces about how Apu sucks and I'm like, well, this episode is awesome. There's wonderful humanity in this tertiary character who's elevated to a main Simpsons regular here. I do think it helped make him more than a stereotype. And I do feel like in season seven, that episode, that's all his, is even better in making him more of a person. But this does help him be more just the Quickie Mart guy. And the mint

julep episode, too. That's a nine. Meanwhile, they need to replace Apu with a Quickie Mart, and do you have the Barney line? Because that's my all-time favorite. What is the Barney line? I forget. Because I like people, and I want a place where I can be out of the sun. And then we can go into this. Thank you.

He's head and shoulders above everyone else. Right. There's one more applicant. Name? James Woods. Previous job experience? Ooh, True Believer, Salvador, Onion Field, The Hard Way. Wait, wait a minute.

Those aren't convenience stores. That sounds like the resume of a Hollywood movie star. James Woods. Why would you want to work at a quickie mart? Well, to be honest, in my upcoming movie, I'm going to be playing this tightly wound convenience store clerk. And, you know, I kind of like to research my roles and really get into it. For instance, True Believer.

I actually worked in a law firm for two months. And the film Chaplin, I had a little cameo on that. I actually traveled in time back to the 20s where – well, I've said too much. Welcome aboard. So can we agree this is the first awkward celebrity appearance? Even though they justify it, I feel like they just wanted James Woods. They do so well with James Woods. He transcends everything.

He's really good. I like him in this, but it feels like it's the first slippery slide. Yeah, but he seemed to grasp... I would love to see the notes they gave to James Woods. Yeah. Because I... Dude, it sucks.

What is it? My fucking 13th birthday my uncle's like you can see I'll take you to see any movie you want your dad's not here I want to see

a rated R movie what movie The Hard Way oh that's the movie I chose to see I've got the trailer for it right here

which is actually The Hard Way it's funny he says The Hard Way Last is one of his films because it's actually kind of similar to the plot of him

working at the Quickie Mart which is about an actor Michael J. Fox wanting to be a cop in a movie so he goes on the job

with a police officer The Hard Way The Hard Way with James Woods You're not going to learn what it means to be a cop by eating hot dogs and picking your teeth

and asking stupid questions We live this job It's something we are, not something we do. Michael J. Fox. James Woods. Was that great? I'm sorry. Look, John, can you just do that one more time for me, please?

Oh, my God. I had no idea Michael J. Fox was in a buddy cop movie. Michael J. Fox is in at least one other movie than Back to the Future. Yes, at least one. It's hard to believe because they all hold up terribly. Every Michael J. Fox movie. What was that one, like Doc Hollywood or whatever? It's basically Cars.

I got to see Tits because I went there and it was filmed in my hometown. You got to see it when the woman molests him in the pool? No, she gets out of the lake and she's completely naked and it's the most prolonged boob shot you can see in a non-rated r movie oh geez every every kid in my town was all obsessed with doc hollywood but it's kind of michael j fox playing a worse version of michael j fox in a movie who's just like i was a kid actor and i want to be tough now but But I love Michael J. Fox. He's one of the greatest.

I love him way more than James Woods. I'm saying as an actor, I really love James Woods. But he's a terrible leading man. Yeah. But when he shows up briefly in films, fucking Casino, he's brilliant. To just yell at somebody and be like, he has the classic charisma of a sociopath.

He's brilliant. And one of the criticisms of Simpsons now Is too many celebrities playing themselves And this to me was so perfect He's so funny They did the work to justify this But I feel like this is the first step towards Steve Buscemi just sort of popping up

Like hi I'm Steve Buscemi Or Mel Brooks just being in Homer's car Now if I may get to what i really came here for which is to bash family guy yes oh god so you see this in this episode what is different about how james woods is used in his first episode appearance on family guy i have seen that but i forget other than him also being crazy like he's yeah it was always called james woods high school and then he comes into town and then he won't leave. Oh, yeah.

And he hangs out with Peter until he comes to hate Peter. In sequel episodes, he replaces Peter and marries Lois. Lois. Like, they trade places. And he can't stop eating candy. Like, ooh, a piece of candy. Ooh, a piece of candy. That was his big joke.

But it's just like, the idea to have James the hangout with your regular characters and act crazy. Yes. That's just what they did in this episode. It was just a joke, especially after they did the same thing with Adam West. Yes. It's like, could you guys find another celebrity? Find your own celebrities. Don't find don't pick a celebrity.

The Simpsons use and use them in a very similar way just 10 years later. I feel like they should have stuck with Hugh Downs while he was alive. That was a great one-time appearance. But he could have been their guy to go to, like Hugh Downs. They shouldn't have cast Hugh Downs when he was 80. He was just so goddamn good in this episode. $75, $85, $90, and a dollar. Thank you, and come again.

Hey, wait a minute. Hey. Can I just ask you a question? Did you, did you believe that? I mean, the way I gave you the change, did I sound like a real quickie mart, you know, kind of guy?

Actually, I thought it was a little labored. Huh. You gotta lose yourself in the moment, man. Yeah, like, yeah, okay, great. Okay, let's just try that again, okay? Come on. Hey, come on. Hey, hey, hey, hey, like, yeah. Okay, great. Okay, let's just try that again, okay? Come on. Hey, come on. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Get over here. Okay, now you're you, I'm me. I'm me? I'm me. Hey, don't jerk me around, fella. That's great. That feels like even an ad lib, even. It's the most natural vocal performance on The Simpsons since Dustin Hoffman.

Yeah, I mean, he's not doing a cartoon voice. He's not. He's not reading his lines correctly. He's acting with an actor in the room with him, seemingly. It's very natural. Dude, I really love this part for James Lewis. Yeah, I love his performance. I love how they put him in the show.

If I pretend he died in 1999, it's really great. So we don't have any clips of this, but I do want to talk about Apu is helping the family, and they go shopping at Monstromart. First off, him cleaning homer that's very balky yes it is here's your towel it's nothing i haven't seen before like back off like this i don't know that over familiarity is just it's just a stock was that like he keeps a lollipop stuck to his chest i like to keep it yeah that redeeming and then with the corn so the Simpsons owned 15 cans of corn at one time. But I did make...

I used four for my chili. It did make me think about how things are displayed in stores. Like, oh, yeah, this is how they treat me. Like, you'll never move that way. Delicious corn. Bye. I mean, one of my favorite scenes in this is the Monstromart scene. So many great lines that I have.

I love the Barney knocking over the Mrs. Butterworth. It's like, it's happening again. I read the Simpsons wiki and it's like, because Barney, when Homer slammed the door on him in that one episode, a shot went off. He killed a woman, apparently. Like, it's referencing Barney murdering again. But Apu's line strategies I still use in my everyday life. Oh, my God. i do wish you had that clip because pathetic single men only cash no chit chat as as a pathetic single man i think of that

many times standing in line but also the i and i don't want chit chat i want to buy this food that i'm going to eat alone and i don't want to talk to you if i could not interact with a human that's preferable in my town you work from home for a few years but uh i i know the name of every clerk how many kids they have what they're doing well because then you'll transition into being the attention starved elderly person yes i'm cool about it but it gets you it does tip huge be nice ask about people's families you get a bunch of free stuff how about we hear one line from what is potentially a great Abe Simpson rambling story. It's like, I set the toaster to three medium brown. That feels like an Oakley Weinstein to me.

But I've also experienced that at grocery stores of just like the woman. I go to the Berkeley Bowl in Berkeley. And there was one woman with a very large pink hat who was always there. It was just like, you just never leave here and you talk to the people all day and they're forced to talk to you. You should recognize these people from our pizza parlor at this point.

Oh, yeah, I mean, I'm constantly cornered by them. As someone who worked at a grocery store for a few years, old people would show up there like it was a bar. They would just hang out and drink coffee all day, like buy lottery tickets, talk to everybody. Like it was their place to go to talk to people. And you pity them, but you're also like, dude, you're forcing me to talk to you. You're four years away from being that person.

Seriously, all of us are. Maybe ten. All of us are. I mean, I have my own place, but I don't really talk to anyone that much. I like walking down the street and being able to recognize neighbors. I love it. Walmart was relatively a new thing then, but this seems more like a Sam's Club or a Costco. It really is.

I think it's a Sam's Club because, I mean, they were famous for selling things in giant quantities at that time. I think this is just some fiction within The Simpsons because I didn't shop at a Quickie Mart style place for food I needed until I moved to a big city. I mean, I was always at a big grocery store. You're dumb to buy groceries at a Quickie Mart because it's a convenience store. Things are more expensive because you're going there for convenience. Trick cereal. That'll be $9.99. Yeah.

And I love that. I do love the sign joke of where shopping is a baffling ordeal. And when the cranberry is broken, all the cranberry juice is blasting them. I felt that was an ad for Ocean Spray, though they never really had one where you like splashed with a bunch of stuff. It's Cran-tastic. It was always like Cran-blank, like Cran-grape, Cran-apple, Cran-blueberry. Ocean Spray Cranberry did have the saying

Taste the Wave. That was their thing. It's probably like 5% juice, too. Enjoy that corn syrup and water. Well, because straight cranberry juice is really tough. It's medicine for your bladder infection. It's to make you pee. I had a lot of work to do, and I depended on you guys to try and figure out who everybody was in the checkout line.

Because you see a ton of other Simpsons jocks in line. There's an old Jewish man, Jasper. Yeah, a bunch of other people who haven't been seen in a while are all in line at the grocery store. So they get back home, and just to show how much they fall in love with apu they're they're just eating his food now they're totally used to it and then lisa is playing the shanai which i looked that up so the shanai is a woodwind instrument similar to an oboe and so actually lisa's saxophone knowledge would kind of transfer over it's not they're not exactly the same in oboe and a saxophone, but it is a woodwind,

so Lisa being able to play it after a week is somewhat believable. I think it's called an omobobo. When I first arrived, you were all such jerks, but now I've come to love. Your quirks, Maggie with her eyes so bright, Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright. Lisa can philosophize, Marge's a depth that spinning lies Homer said delightful fella

Sorry about the salmonella Hehe, that's okay Who needs the quickie mart? Now here's the tricky part Oh won't you rhyme with me? Who needs the quickie mart? Their floors are sticky mart. They made that sticky mart.

Let's curl a brickie mart. The Quickie Mart is real dope. Who needs the Quickie Mart? Not me. Forget the Quickie Mart. Goodbye the Quickie Mart. Who needs the Quickie Mart. Goodbye to Quickie Mart. Who needs a Quickie Mart? Not me.

The Simpsons will be right back. Howdy, Talking Simpsons listeners. Here today to tell you that this show is brought to you by Casper Premium Mattresses. You know, the mattresses that combine high-density memory and premium latex foam to create the perfect sleep surface that contours to your body and keeps you cool and balanced throughout the night. Yes. And if you're in the market for a new mattress, we suggest Casper because through our link, caspert you, they cut out the middleman, the showrooms, the thousands of dollars you end up paying for a new mattress

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and your world brighter. Find our net zero hub at electricireland.ie. Who needs the Quickie Mart? I do. At this point, Apu does his Quickie Mart song, which we played over the break. Yes. It was nominated for an Emmy.

Oh, wow. It was nominated for an Emmy and lost. To? Tricia Yearwood. Boo. Do not go through the Emmys of that year. It'll really make you mad. Just to remember a time when Duckman Mystery Science Theater

We're all contenders And they lose to Dennis Yeah Chachi I took your hand Well this song I know mostly through the Simpsons Sorry there's two I was trying to think of which one it was on And what they don't have on that version Is all the abuse that Abe experiences

Throughout the song Because Apu is always stealing his cane and he's falling over. It doesn't work in audio, but please, that sequence is great just for all the times Apu accidentally muttered. I'd say it's only behind Monorail is my favorite song they've done to this point. And it was

only until a much later viewing did I understand what a geodesic dome was. Or why Marge's hair was like something by Frank Lloyd Wright. By Frank Lloyd Wright? Yeah, I actually just got that this time. I never heard it before. desic dome was or why marge's hair was like something by frank lloyd wright by frank lloyd wright yeah i i actually just got that this time i never heard it before at least the second time in a row and it would happen many times where homer does not know how to do the song with everyone else yeah yeah this is the part we i also love a poo friend to be good when the fat is put on his brain.

And then when they cool down after the song's over, it's great. I don't. Hey, he's not happy at all. He lied to us through song. I hate when people do that.

And that scene was actually cut out of the syndicated version. It goes to commercial on. That's bullshit. It goes to commercial on. I do. But there's no. He lied to us through song.

So I love hearing that again. It's so great that Homer is. That Homer's been lied to through song many times before apparently. And he knows he hates it. And also there's two bits like this in the episode. But the joke of. Oh you, we're doing this early. It's, oh, the episode's over a little early this time. You watch it appears on Homer's wrist.

Let's hook him again. They are just, it almost felt like Merkin negging Greg Daniels by saying, like, oh, this episode's a little short, huh? It may seem like that just because the the james wood stuff they linger on him yeah he does so much oh when he says i'm sorry when apu says i do it's such a great shot like he's howling to the moon it's beautiful he's crouched in a very animal-like way yeah but woods in the other i love this clip so much yes tony tony you're my agent you have to do something about this. How can it be the same movie if they've changed

my character from a tightly wound convenience store clerk to a jittery Eskimo firefighter? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, actually, that's a pretty good explanation. Now, this is gross. This would be gross points, right? Okay. Yeah, because those monkey points.

Okay, great. Okay, good. Book me a flight, rent me an igloo, and tell those dorks at the quickie mart that, boom, I am out of here. I'm a dot. I'm gone, okay? Okay. What do you mean I got to give two weeks notice? What?

Freaking no good, mother... Jeez. No, not you. I'm just talking to my oven. This is so good. This is better now that I know what points are. Yeah. Or dots.

I'm a dot. I'm a dot. You're seeing me from space almost. I love that bit there that also broke a reality thing in The Simpsons that there had been bleeps before, but it was bleeps on TV that people were watching. I know on Do What You Feel Day, Ken Brockman swore on TV, I think. But they were watching TV,

so it wasn't a bleep happening within the world. So that was one of those moments that I feel like Matt Groening would have hated. Like, no, this tells people it's a TV show. It just feels like one of those things that Matt Groening, who also gets mad, like, those are too many tears. One of my favorite things about how puritanical we are,

you can't even see the lip motions of a curse word so his arm has to be in front of you right yeah through every curse again that my favorite way to look at that you should is arrested development i didn't notice it till rest every time they curse they have to cover their mouths so no one can confuse the bleep for the curse you should have heard well yeah that like when like when when joe will say a swear to Michael, he'll like lean in a little bit and put his head right. Put a drink in front of his mouth. Like I'm kidding.

Or the reverse two shot where you just see the back of their head. Or also where Michael is walking down. He's like, pop, pop. Already got his foot. And he turns around. Are you guys fucking devil day? Controversial moments. Family guy did it.

No, no blur over suey's mouth like in its second or third season that's right uh and i was saying vacuum and they were like we don't care we're canceled like yeah like i also another my favorite ones on rest development was when the fridge door is open and and and uh to screams, where the fuck are my hard-boiled tail of the legs? Speaking of Arrested Development, there was a joke in here that felt that Arrested Development didn't rip off, but they decided they gotta go to India.

They do a Lawrence of Arabia joke, which Arabia is not India, but it is a funny joke. But it was still Springfield. Yes. The joke was that it looks like it looks like they're in India. That joke checks out. It's still good. I like it.

No, no. What I'm saying is that Arrested Development did that exact same joke where they're just like, we're going to fly to Iraq. And then they cut to them talking in Arabic and a guy in a cab. And then they were like, yeah, we're driving to John Wayne Airport and we're still in the OC. Don't call it that. But they got to go to India to try to get Apu his job back. And so it lets them do a few India-specific jokes. There aren't jokes about how wacky India is.

They are. One of my favorite bits is when they arrive at the airport. That is so fucking funny. And they're like, ugh, Christians. Are they Hare Krishnas? Hare Krishnas. Yeah. Hare Krishnas.

Hare Krishnas. I'm Hare Krishnan. But it's such a dated thing of just like nobody hangs out in airports now because of fucking 9-11. I mean, even when I went to airports as a kid, I never saw Hare Krishnas. I never did. Yeah, but you can't go to a gate anymore. That's true, yeah.

It's hundreds of dollars to hand out pamphlets at a gate. But when there were gates, I didn't see them anymore. And I don't remember seeing them when they could do it. Dude, this shit ruins Seinfeld all the time. Because for some reason, when you pick your friend up at the airport, you have to be waiting in the chair next to the flight desk. That's true. Totally.

Then they go to India, they do that. They do a joke about train hopping, which is when people are all hanging off the trains. Isn't that a Ramadan thing? Well, so this is what I learned about it. It's train surfing

or train hitching or train hopping is not just done in India. In all places, they actually have fucking mass trains and trains, like America.

That's why we had to research it. But where there's too many, but sometimes people do do it just to not pay, and they're like, no, I'm going to hang off this train and I we had to research it. But where there's too many... But sometimes people do do it just to not pay and they're like, no, I'm going to hang off this train and I'm not paying for a cigarette. Eddie Valiant did this.

Who framed Roger Rabbit. It's true. He didn't ride the red car for a nickel. It was a trolley going like 10 miles an hour. Thanks for the cigarettes. And some countries have gotten down on it more because it will lead to death and injury. It is dangerous to hang on the outside of a train.

I hopped a moving train one time while hammered and my car was stopped. And I did it. I got on the ladder, but it was just like, dude, I almost missed. It was the scariest thing I ever learned in like one second. Oh, and then I'm riding like 10 miles an hour down the road away from my car. I have to jump off at full speed or it drastically inconvenienced me. Herman did it for Uber. No,

I did it too, but I was indestructible, but you're this close to like, those are blades. Yeah. That's B they're just blade metal on metal. Uh, and also the remorseless though in India,

the train surfing is slight is also exacerbated by the high population density of, of India, which is the joke in this. Yeah, I thought the joke was more like this country has a lot of people in it. Which is a true statistical fact, so not racist. Nope. Facts don't care about your feelings, Bob. I've got this graph right here.

Homer would die climbing the mountain to get to the home of the Kwik-E-Mart. Or falling down it. Yeah. Though, no, 7-Eeleven is not owned by the indian company like all just because indian people work at convenience stores does not mean they do try and have it both ways and they do yeah but so they go and somehow indians like we created the quickie mart and we love it meanwhile go over to japan and notice that 7-eleven owns the banks too yeah you pay your bills there it's nuts you apply for loans at 7-eleven yes owns the banks, too. Yeah, you pay your bills there. It's nuts. You apply for loans at 7-Eleven. Yeah, so you get your ATM money out of 7-Eleven kiosks.

And buy video games. And the food there is a lot better and made that day. Oh, that's insane. It's made by the people there. It's nuts. But the CEO of the Quickie Mart, that's one of my favorite characters this whole episode. He is the benevolent, enlightened president and CEO of Quickie Mart and in Ohio's Topo Mart. Yeah.

He is the one I must ask for my job back. Approach, my sons. You may ask me three questions. That's great, because all I need is one. Are you really the head of the Quickie Mart? Yes. Really? Yes.

You? Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you. But I must... Thank you. Come again. But... for you. But I must thank you. Come again. But thank you. Come again.

And then Opua actually strangles Homer. I think I heard this joke differently all the time until now. Oh, really? When Homer leaves there, he says, like, what a waste that was. Is he really the head of the Quickie Mart? As a kid, I heard that as Homer. All right, so maybe let's see how you guys heard mart as a kid i heard that as homer all right so maybe let's see how you guys okay i had always heard it as homer was misremembering and thinking apu

asked those questions like when he's repeating it like is he really the head of the quickie mart it's him accusing apu of doing it in him remembering that apu did it but then this time watching i was like no no homer still doesn't know that he's the head of the Kwik-E-Mart. I think that's it. I think he would be more accusatory towards Apu. Like, way to go, Apu. We don't even know if he's the head of the Kwik-E-Mart yet, basically. I think they would write it in that direction if he wanted to blame Apu.

So I guess I just remember that as sometimes I project a gaslighting father onto things. One of my favorite lines is not, we don't have a clip of it, but it's, life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. I do love that joke because it shows how dense the mythology is getting that Flanders doesn't

appear once in this episode, but they don't care that if this was your first Simpsons, you wouldn't know who Flanders is. And Homer is still blaming him regardless of even if he has any part of this. Go help. But Homer got strangled for a change. But hey, Woods gets to meet a poo when he comes back.

That's true. Alright, you! Hand over the cash and don't try any funny stuff! Hey, pal. I assure you, if I tried any funny stuff, you would be in hysterics. Hey, you're James Woods! Oh, thank you. Well, Mr. Woods, your're James Woods. Oh, thank you. Yes, thank you.

Well, Mr. Woods, your new song is going to be number three with a bullet. I'm not a singer. Shut up. Shut up. All these cop cliches in this show not about cops. I do like number one with a bullet, number three. Number three with a bullet. Shut up.

Because they don't even ask him for money. The guy just shoots. Yeah. And I agree with the... Apu takes the bullet. I agree with the idea in the commentary that at the time they decided they didn't want Snake to shoot Apu, like actually shoot him, so that's why it's not Snake. And they're like, well, I think in the years since then we have definitely had Snake shoot

Apu. Yes. But for some reason then they're like, we don't want to sell out snakes character to actually shoot a poo. Jailbird is so important to the Simpsons mythology. So I want to really dig into something here that's going to shock and surprise you guys. So seemingly a one off joke of James Woods knowing a poo because he famously worked 96 hours without a break and went crazy. That would be the plot of a backup story in May 1995, Simpson's Comics No. 10.

I read that one. In a story called Apu Nahasapima Petalon's Quickie Mart Comics, Apu's Incredible 96-Hour Shift Without Having a Break. And it is the tale of the entire 96 hours, which does involve the hummingbird joke is in there that's right i think he's explaining it's a little jump it's a little jump yes i had this comic book amazing wow it's the one it's the flip side this is what simpson comics always do they give you about 20 pages of a regular simpsons comic and then about eight pages of a different

simpsons comic and the cover of this one number 10 is the parody that was also in Cape Fear of the Simpsons riding in the car like that's right Homer with the fedora on and everything yeah and it's almost you got to buy it in print like I was searching for a digital I was like just so I can read it again I will pay two dollars to read this digitally it must be a comiXology no where can you get these there's no bongo I don't know what the fuck bongo's doing but it's like i kind of know one of these simpsons comics uh artists maybe i can ask them i want i just want to buy them maybe you know it's uh i'm recording tomorrow's free comic book day and maybe i'll get that bongo comics and they'll have an explainer in there just like here's how you give us money digitally because i just i want to buy those comics i do too just let me i just don't want loose single issues in my house because they just i

i'm too guilty to throw them away in your bird cage louis only poops on the finest paper towels thank you very much but if you can dig up that old issue that will tell you the entire story that's true then i wish they did more comics like that that would take a one-off joke from a show and then make it an eight-page storyline yeah i agree so anyway that is the that is the secret of that joke that was expanded into a comic just one year later but now we learn how uh apu i mean he should be dead yeah he dives in front of james wood as the guy's shooting him but it hit another lot so i've been doing a million jokes about like i have been shot six times and almost missed work. Cry baby.

Which the joke on that was that Apu is hardworking and Americans are fat and lazy. And he is working in a very dangerous job. Yes. And so there are other times where you can see bullet wounds on his body, like in Streetcar Named Marge. That's right. When he takes off his shirt, you can see the bullet holes on him. And so he has definitely been shot a lot of times. This is just him being shot and

how much he has missed the hot kiss of Serene. More than 50 cent. Duh. But James Woods is going to thank him. You saved my life. And as a small token of my appreciation, I got you your job back at the Quickie Mart.

Oh, Mr. Oh, what a good guy. Oh, Mr. Woods, you're... But as for me, I'm off to battle aliens on a faraway planet. That sounds like a good movie. Yes. Yes, a movie, yes. So good. He's great at this.

It's kind of a corny joke, but he does it really good. His read is amazing. So he can travel through time and he fights aliens in space. That what he does that is james woods's powers we've all said too much and then we get the ending of let's hug him again which i do love i just really meant were they do they need more time well they have to plug in lots of jokes that can be cut for syndication they knew that like when we say that was cut for syndication i was cut for syndication. They knew that. Like, when we say that was cut for syndication, that was cut for syndication, they know they have to make more, they have to make extraneous, non-plot-related jokes

that can be cut to add in more commercials in syndication. I mean, it could have been in the script from day one or just added because they had 10 seconds to kill. It's still a funny joke about the conventions of TV. Like, we have to end with a hug. Oh, wait, there's still 10 seconds left. Let's hug again. Yeah, it's still 10 seconds left. Let's hug again. Yeah, it's a seal the deal.

It's great. I love those fourth wall breaking moments that really defined Merkin's time there. Of his both love and hate of sitcoms. And hopefully there weren't too many left-wing rants on this podcast for you people out there. But I think we presented our points of view

in a way that it's okay to disagree with us. It's fine. I would be much more snide with you in any other format, by the way that it's okay to disagree with us. It's fine. I would be much more snide with you in any other format, by the way, if you have a problem with it. In person. This is still a really good episode. Yeah, I still liked it a lot. Again, I thought it was going to be worse going into it 20-some years later. But I feel like it is somewhat respectable, and it's still actually very funny.

And I think Homer in that novelty hat is one of my favorite images ever of the show. And Apu talking to the hat. Yeah, smashed hat. Between you and me. He winks, he winks. Yeah. So I still give this one a thumbs up.

And James Woods is one of their best guest stars they've ever had. I mean, despite his despicable life, his voice acting on this show was great. And we talked about James Woods without even talking about his granddaughter that he married. Oh, his child bride? I think they only dated. Yeah, he dated a woman literally 50 years ago.

Yeah, I've made the joke that as he was having his first colonoscopy, he looked at his watch. Oh, my future girlfriend is born. Very nice. That's something I should not look forward to doing. Colonoscopy or having a child bride? Child bride. I mean, I guess if you're both, if she's legal, it's not. We're going to high five now?

The world will frown. No, I'm sitting on my hands right now. This has been Talking Simpsons. I do not approve of Chris's message. I've been your host, Bob Mackie. You can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo. I also write for SomethingAwful.com, a new comedy article, every Thursday. And my other podcast is Retronauts, a retro gaming podcast, every Monday at Retronauts.com a new comedy article every Thursday and my other podcast is retronauts a retro gaming podcast

every Monday at retronauts.com our newest one involving all of these guys is a podcast about Bart's Nightmare the terrible SNES and Genesis game the first 16-bit Simpsons game if you don't count the arcade game we talk about why it's bad for about 45 minutes so please if you have any interest in the Simpsons

video games go to retronauts find it on your iPod or whatever you use. Look for Retronauts. You will find that Bart's Nightmare podcast in our directory. Thank you. Good times. My only plug is I'm too drunk. I didn't eat lunch.

Had two beers. And I'm plugging next week's episode. And H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on Twitter is my Twitter handle. You can follow me there. And it's where I tweet out the newest episodes when they all happen, including when we just did our, well, now, when we're recording this recent episode of Talking Critic. And thanks, everybody, for your very warm comments on that.

And, yeah, listen to me on Retronauts. And, of course, the Talking Simpsons was born out of Patreon. Support patreon.com and that is where the entire first season of Talking Simpsons lives and stay tuned for more and thank you so much for listening we'll be back next week with Lisa versus Malibu Stacy everybody it's a good one wow infotainment