Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Homer Defined

Episode Date: April 20, 2016

Homer saves Springfield from destruction for the first time ever and Bart loses his best friend in this series-defining episode…

Ahoy, ahoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, where we're always pulling a Homer. This is your host, Bob Mackie. Who else is here today? Wow, Bob Mackie! Ooh, thank you. I never hear that on this show. No, I never hear it when you say that. Got it this time.

Thank you, Chris. Captain Chris Antista. Larry King column Henry Gilbert. And today's episode is all about Homer Defined, which aired on October 17th, 1991. Chris, what happened in this historic event moment in history? Ernest Scared Stupid is unleashed upon theaters. Former Ku Klux Klan leader David Duke runs for Louisiana governor, and a Sony forehead VCR will now only cost you $500.

Wow, invest early in that. Awesome technology. It's foreheads, Bob! Quit being cynical! Oh, wow. What does that do for me, though, in my two-head lifestyle? I need to, like, okay, so Ernest Scared Stupid, I want Brett to be here.

I'm still waiting for that Ernest episode of Laser Time, as we all are. But he's got that pressure of, like, he knows he needs to do it. Everybody wants him to do it. We need a helicopter and John Cherry. But I found, like, I like this movie. Some of my friends thought it was too scary because people were being turned into, like, statues

or goblins. I thought it was too gross. There was some slime involved, I'm guessing. Wasn't in all that slime. Not enough character work from Jim Varney either. Yeah. No old lady? She wasn't in the movie? Old lady with a neck brace?

You didn't get to know enough of Ernest's interior life. Yes. I like seeing inside of his house, you know? Yeah, him washing his clothes in a washing machine that he gets inside of. He had a very Pee Wee Herman-like existence. So, yes, this episode is Homer-defined. Mostly known for its pulling a Homer catchphrase, which I think was engineered to make this like a slogan. I mean, for all the things that we say about The Simpsons, I think we rarely say pulling a Homer.

We will quote everything but this. Yeah, I kind of forgot this. I mean, there's like five lines in this I'd quote before that. Yeah, for sure. I mean, this is a great episode, and it all starts with Milhouse's birthday. Oh, did you like that chalkboard gag that I forgot it was? I barely pay attention to the opening, but then I hear the chalk is really squeaky.

Oh, right. Wait, what? That sounds never there. And it's, I won't squeak the chalk. I think I had a moment like that, Henry, where I do normally ignore them. But it starts with one joke that might hold up better than you think.

Here's good news. According to the side-catching article, sat scores are declining at a slower rate dad i think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs factoids and larry king hey this is the only paper in america that's not afraid to tell the truth that everything is just fine uh yeah us of a today yeah take that usa today uh usa when i was in a communications college class in the late 90s, early 2000s, the highest circulated paper in the world. Today, I think my dad still gets the paper at his house. It is the Tallahassee Democrats presented by USA Today.

It is, wow. It's soaked up a lot of dying newspapers now. So the criticism is valid because USA Today not only still exists, it might embody your local paper that you haven't read in years. According to Wikipedia, it is still the most widely read print thing in America. You get one whether you want it or not for staying in any hotel. Yeah, I wonder if it's like Game Informer that way. It's just like, oh, it's got a big way out there.

Like, yeah, because you get it for free. That's the sweetest plum, of course. The thing is, like, I haven't seen one of these in a long time. And recently in October, they did one with the McFly arrested from Back to the Future. And I wanted to get it, but I couldn't find it. Also, Larry King's column, that's like his tweets now. It's like, I like crunchy peanut butter. And that's it.

The headline of the paper was America's Favorite Pencil. Number two. One of my favorite ever SNL gags was Norm MacDonald just reading the actual things Larry King wrote, but then just saying them and just staring at the camera. For my money, Goonies is a pretty good film. The world will not miss Gattaca. The most disturbing thing about Larry King is that he has young children. We all need to process that for a minute. That's true.

And imagine the reptile sex. We watched something recently where, what was it? We watched where it was a flashback and Larry King was, oh, it was on People vs. O.J. Simpson, where they've recast everybody as a famous person. And I didn't look closely. I was like, well, who's playing Larry King? And then Chris said, Larry King. Larry King playing himself 20 years ago the only way to know is that as larry king grew as larry king gets older he

shrinks but his shoulder pads grow so he's gonna be mostly shoulder pad in about 10 years seeing larry king interview stan lee recently was like it's just two reptiles staring at each other also larry king's column in usa today was canceled the same week as September 11th. Coincidence? Wait a second. I think it was an inside job. I'm a Larry King column truther, by the way. That's my one weird quirk.

I've got to have another soundboard here. It's that bongos joke. You've made that joke so many times. I made it today. Just today. Bart, that's so sweet. May I see the card? Hey there, 10-year-old.

I couldn't afford to get you a new drum. So how about a nice pair of bongos? Ew. I like Lisa's reaction. Totally. Ew. Because we're only now seeing, I don't know, women like, yeah, we never liked that stuff. And it was always kind of gross.

This was in the era where Spencer's Gifts ruled over the universe. That's exactly what I meant. I was not allowed to watch rated R movies. We didn't have HBO, but none of that mattered when you walked into a Spencer's Gifts. And saw naked women just on carts. It was a titty parade. They had string over their nipples. Dude, sometimes they didn't.

Yeah, I saw breasts. Yeah, there was even things where you could squeeze little balls and characters would moon you and flash their tits at you. I remember that stuff, yeah. Mostly I think I remember just cards with morbidly obese men and women eating cake and posing sexually. Yeah, there were those joke ones too. So I think I have been both the Bart and the Milhouse in these situations, but I've been more the Milhouse, absolutely, of having, as a kid growing up, having friends who were not nice to me

and my mom trying to stop me from hanging out with them but then of course i think oh she just doesn't want me to be around my new friends who are cool even though she really was just like these aren't your friends like they're a jerk and they're they're taking advantage of you i was the bart but i didn't do anything bad my mom was just a single mom and being a divorced mom was not a no-no because i was a bastard what in ohio uh yes in ohio people were judgmental very judgmental about that oh i'm sorry yeah could you please leave uh oh wow i can prove i can prove my mom got remarried wow i did not damn i'm sorry that's okay i was i was this is another one of the billion scenarios i'm almost tired of telling you nice people listening that I was Bart and I was the kid who kind of got in trouble.

And I wasn't, I don't know. Your parents didn't want at parties and stuff? Well, just the neighborhood we lived in, there was a couple really smart kids and I get in trouble. I maybe say a bad word. I'm a bad influence. This kid's getting really good grades. And we don't think you should hang out with him. And all of a sudden, a kid just doesn't start calling me back.

And like that happened all the time. No, I have been on the opposite version of this where I only knew it like a few years later. But when I was in sixth grade, I wanted to be friends with this girl. But she didn't like me and made fun of me. But then her mom like worked at the school and felt sorry for me and made her invite me to her birthday party wow and then like i just felt so miserable afterwards like no like oh yeah they didn't want me at all like i was i was pitied into there so like now i don't want to be here yeah so don't think you're doing a kid a favor because eventually they will find out they weren't

wanted there yeah yeah this is heartbreaking because it's Bart learning that his best friend had a party that he was not invited to, and it finally all comes out thanks to Auto Man. Springfield Elementary last stop. Oh, and by the way, I'd like to say thanks and applause to birthday boy Milhouse for his totally bitching party on Saturday. Yay! Oh, Milhouse, I think I left my pants on your roof you did have a party you didn't invite me i thought we were best friends sorry bart when i talk about things modern simpsons lacks it's

any kind of score like that to punctuate an emotion it is cheap and like i can see why you wouldn't do that and i know it's not cheap it's's artistically cheap, but expensive to do on a production level. They are kind of afraid of sincerity, though, in most regards. Like, if a joke's not happening now, we cannot write this. We cannot let this air.

Like, everything has got to be a joke, joke, joke. What about the blaring trumpets of fight scenes and Chief Wiggum arresting people? Yeah. Do-do-do! From our news sound effect.

Where's all that? This party, though, does seem a little out of character for Milhouse. I mean, we do learn, we learn more about Milhouse than we ever did before that he's a loser and we know that Bart is a loser. But this seems more in line with Martin Prince's party much later in the series where it's like this elaborate, beautiful celebration. Hey, lucky boy.

That's one of my top five lines in Simpsons history. I can't wait to get to it. The mathemagician, all that stuff yeah it sounds like more like one of those expensive rich kid parties or more well-off kid parties you go to where they'd have a clown or even a ferris wheel or a bounce house all that stuff and martin is gushing about the personalized gift basket so i think he got his idea for his birthday party from millhouses wow yeah uh but this is also auto just this is a heavy use of Otto. They lighten up on him in season three compared to two. He'll die after the Otto show, though.

The Otto show episode later in the season, that's kind of the end of him as a character. I am only curious, and I rarely ever use my Twitter, but I'll plug my Twitter in a cantista. Did you go to birthday parties back in the day where occasionally, it might have been a formality to invite your teacher or some kind of authority figure. You spend a ton of time around and on occasion they'd show up and it's really awkward. I do remember

getting fun bags at the end of a thing. Oh yeah, me too. Totally. The things you'd get for five tickets at Chuck E. Cheese. Spider ring. Jolly rancher. I do like the gift that Bart gives Milhouse. It's these Cressy the Clown walkie-talkies and it's Rancher. I do like the gif that Bart gives Milhouse. It's these Cressy the Clown walkie-talkies and it's really funny. He points out the

impracticality of the gif. Like, just call me on the phone and then I'll know when to get on the walkie-talkie to talk to you. It's so great. I remember back with my friendship with my best friend and it was like that. We didn't ever really want to be separated. It seems really homoerotic now in hindsight. Like hiding in the other parent's car so he wouldn't have to be part. It seems really homoerotic now in hindsight like hiding in the other parent's car

so he wouldn't have to be parted and trying to extend walkie-talkies as far as we could. Chris, I mean, I know you've all seen it. The new Pee Wee movie is just that. It's about the intensity of kid friendships. Yeah, yeah. It was nice to see that again, to know that I wasn't alone, that there was a reason why we'd spend all night

on the phone with one another even though we were supposed to be in bed. Well, speaking of queer, I'm gay, guys. I have to say. He's allowed to say it. Burns seeing a movie. A minute of small talk with Burns and Smithers. I love it. I was going to say, Smithers has never seemed gayer than in this

scene here. There's a new Simpsons episode where Smithers is just... It will have just aired that Smithers comes out and everybody's just like, oh yeah, we all knew you were gay too. But now we can talk about it. They're trying to set him up with dates and he realizes he'll never be with Burns. But in terms of the show bringing him out, and I, again, didn't pick up on this until the John Waters episode. This might be the one, though.

This is like, has a lot of. Well, the come blow your horn character. I recall you wearing bell though. Well, the come-blow-your-horn character. I recall you wearing bell-bottoms. It was the 70s, sir. May I ask how you spent your weekend? A bit overly familiar, but I'll allow it. To get a movie, an appalling little

piece of filth, its leading lady was a blonde harlot who spent half the film strolling around naked as a jaybird. Film strolling around naked as a jaybird. Oh, just give the great unwashed a pair of oversized breasts and a happy ending and they'll oink for more

every time. What a movie. And that blonde cutie, does she have assets? Sounds like my kind of flick. And how. It may be weird to remind people it sounds like my kind of flick and how it may be weird to remind people just how old the simpsons is like for years the joke about smithers is he's gay but we can't come out and tell you yeah the joke is that we're hinting at

it yes but saying that he was saying that he's gay would be too naughty for the show i think that's part of it because they showed a picture of him and he's got burns pictures all over his house uh yeah but he's but this is the difference between there's some people who say like oh no he was a burns a sexual like okay yes he's definitely interested in birds that is undeniable and that's in this episode too but having a guy with a cute little toy dog a single man who has a who takes his cute toy dog out to get clipped like that's a gay thing and gasping about a naked woman i i believe that his his enchantment with musical theater we hear about in uh stark raving dad is the first like actual like

spithers is gay kind of sign burns mentions uh i i would just watch wilma banky batonade velma banky that her last movie was in 1933 um and burns was probably like 40 years old. Yeah, she began in 1918. This is the most recent thing I think they have gotten Burns to do. And once again, we do this as a credit to the writers. This is a time before the internet where either they're viciously researching books to find these characters for Burns to reference or actually know them. They are nerds. I assume they all went to Harvard, so they do know this stuff. But just to know a bad boxer from 1890. How how do you know that corbett i i wish more dudes

would just just only oink when they're talking about women just like all they would do are they talking about like a basic instinct type film like what movie that was also when people would see a movie to see a naked woman, not just go to porn sites. I don't know why, and I could be wrong about it. I just have a feeling they're talking about a Kim Basinger movie. Yeah, I guess so. This is like a year before Basic Instinct. That's true.

That is true. Oh, quick note about a Simpsons game not a lot of people played. Virtual Springfield. In the game Virtual Springfield, you can go all around Springfield. You will hear lines by Phil Hartman as Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz. You'll never hear anywhere else, and the rest of the cast, too. What about Smooth Jimmy Apollo? And it's not even a game. It is a

very lengthy, interactive, like, I don't know, scene. It's literally like the season's five and up DVD menus. Like, you're just clicking on things in the background. When you go to the Springfield power plant, there's tons of jokes from this episode in there including you can

because it's a point and click game you can put your finger in a bunch of the donuts to find a purple filling in the donut as Homer does in this episode.

I don't know if you can find it anywhere. It's just so weird. It's got to be unplayable. About this episode is that I have ruined several computers and had to restore my hard drive trying to get torrents of virtual Springfield. Believe me, I have tried.

I did it once like seven years ago. So talk to me then. I did it like last year. You do not want to go fishing around the internet for a PC game that old. The dark web. Yeah, the dark web. Also, good old thank you, President. I was just about to play that, but that's because this episode is called Homer Defined.

It's about Homer, and I wonder... Saves the town. Maybe due to the nature of when we saw it, everything I remember from this is largely Bart's situation. But the meltdown is about to happen. The meltdown is about to happen, an alarm goes off at the plant, and let's hear from Burns. Problem in sector 7G. 7G? Oh, God, who's the safety inspector there?

Homer Simpson, sir. Simpson, eh? Good man? Intelligent? Actually, sir, he was hired under Project Bootstrap. Thank you, President Ford. Cuts Homer sleeping, I think. I meant to look up if that was a real thing.

It's not a real thing i mean it's it's easy to think of like president ford president from 1973 74 he got in after nixon yeah he was never elected not even his vice president nixon's vice president uh spiro agnew resigned before nixon did he appoints gs Gerald Ford as the new vice president. And then Gerald, and then Nixon resigns. And so Ford is president without ever having been elected by anybody. And he pardons Nixon.

And he pardons Nixon in his first act. And in 76, people hated him so much. He lost. And like Reagan tried to run as the GOP candidate instead of him. It caused the last, uh, split convention, a contested convention for the Republicans. And Jimmy Carter won, but he was also known as like one of, they're implying that Gerald Ford, who was a stupid idiot who had dumb projects. One of his would be bootstrap, which I would guess be hire an idiot to do something just to give him a chance.

And then just making me think of House of Cards. That's exactly what happens to him in the third season, and he creates a job program that ensures everybody jobs. And later Ford moves across the street, remember? Do you like nachos? Beer? Yeah. RIP Gerald Ford.

One more thing about Ford. We're going on so long about Ford, but Chevy Chase's impression of Ford, why is that supposed to be funny? I never got that. He fell down hard. He fell down hard. Was the joke that he didn't look like him? I'm not stoned enough right now. Dan Aykroyd played Nixon with a mustache the whole time.

The real Cesar Romero take on the character. I guess the joke is that Chevy Chase didn't care, and then the other one is that he's that he he was clumsy okay and so falling down and breaking your leg as chevy chase really did that was that was how clumsy for it i think one of the reasons chevy chase is so mean is he did all those pratfalls like unprofessionally he just fell on himself on his spine it is it is actually impressive to watch those sketches yeah you just fell off the top of a ladder like a wrestler like Like, onto a floor. So, yes, the plant is melting down. Homer spilled some purple goo onto the safety dial. And I think it's important to realize, like,

we, I think, at this point realize, like, we don't know what Homer's job is, and he doesn't either. No, but we know how he got it. Oh, yes. Thanks to a season one episode. Homer's Odyssey. Oh, that's right. That's how he became a safety inspector.

That's true, yeah. He got it in a completely, it completely not earned within the plant, but outside the plant, like an honorary job to stop Homer from being an activist against nuclear power. So it really canonically makes sense why he has a job and doesn't know how to do it. Yeah, was never trained for it. I also like the return of Search for the Sun, and it's where we first hear John Lovitz in this episode. I want you. Mr. Devereaux,

I can't work under these conditions. Have it your way, baby. You're fired. Call me Mr. Devereaux. Some of my favorite things in the episode are what's on TV, and the biggest laugh I still get is the file photo of Burns with the fake hair on his head.

That's right. The drawn-on hair. Didn't even wear a toupee. They drew. His phone call was so great. That was my favorite line in the show, just him saying, like, oh, everything's fine. Mr. Burns, people are calling this a meltdown. Oh, meltdown.

It's one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an unrequested fission surplus. Unrequested fission surplus. We're all fine here. Yes. Oh, God. So good. That leads to my line of the show.

It shouldn't be, but I just think it's perfect. It's Homer reacting to trying to figure out what's going on to Safety Inspector. That's the joke. Who would have thought a nuclear reactor would be so complicated? That is great. Also, an unintentional runner they did was when Homer holds up the Rubik's Cube and looks and says, This is all your fault. I at least remember Hitler says that to the bear, Burns' bear.

Doesn't he say that to the inanimate carbon rod in Deep Space Homer? Yeah, I think so too. But I definitely remember Hitler says it like, this is all your fault, throws it away in the bunker. I do think we just discovered the first break in the Simpsons timeline where they flash back to Homer solving

a Rubik's Cube, being taught about how to operate the machine, but he shouldn't have been taught that. He shouldn't have been there with hair. Because he was just hired as a safety inspector. Someone should have been fired for that. But also when he first got hired, he first got hired during the 1980 Olympics. That's right. So obviously Gerald Ford wouldn't have been involved because that was Carter administration.

Let's just stop doing the show right now. If they don't care, we shouldn't care. I'm so show right now. If they don't care, we shouldn't care. I'm so angry right now. I only put that as the line of the show because really it's like every exchange between Burns and Smithers from here on out. 90 seconds to core meltdown. Sir, there may never be another time to say I love you, sir. Oh, hot dog. Thank you for making my last few moments on Earth socially awkward.

That's Burns implying that he knows Smithers is gay. Yeah. It's weird that they do the same line much implying that he knows Smithers is gay. Yeah. It's weird that they do the same line much later, and it seems like a surprise to Mr. Burns. He just kind of just laughs it off or something. I love you in those shorts. The boathouse was the time. He does it again, and this is interesting,

because probably more than I've seen this episode, I've seen the 138th episode, Spectacular, which maybe is a concession to show so many buts over the credits. It takes out the words ass and puts in the word but in this statement so you probably heard it both ways smithies i guess there's nothing left to do but kiss my sorry ass goodbye homer saves the day by guessing a button yeah 15 seconds to core meltdown Instacore Meltdown. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollers, let him go. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Act break.

Great act break. White and act break. Yeah. The Simpsons will be right back. How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero Hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels, and much more. Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier, and your world brighter. Find our net zero hub at

electricireland.ie. Are you already tired of 2016? Jump into the past with 302010, our weekly pop culture time machine podcast. Here's something you may remember from 1996. In case you don't know what Kinder the Embraced is, it's based on the White Wolf tabletop RPG series Vampire the Masquerade. Can you hold these books so I can knock them on the ground? Is tabletop RPGs

too far for you? No, no. It's one of my friends played this stuff. I did find it impenetrable. I mean, I was D&D. It's fine. They made Vampire the Masquerade, Werewolf the Apocalypse, Mage the Awakening. Can you say this like Troy McClure, please?

These are just random words and adjectives. Werewolf the Apocalypse. Zombie the Simmering. Well, no. They were... And Frankenstein the Lombard. All right, but fine. Enough about Kegrian.

I never get to make fun of anybody for being a nerd. If you could see the room we're in right now. There is an alphabetized Disney shelf right behind me. Well, yeah, did your hubby play these games? He did, actually. And my boyfriend at the time did. I went to one party. She doesn't have a type. She does have a type. Oh, and my boyfriend at the time did. I went to one party. She doesn't have a time.

She does have a time. Oh, yeah. Fucking losers. That's 302010, a weekly look at what happened in pop culture 30 years ago, 20 years ago, and 10 years ago, every Thursday right here on the Lazer Time Network. All systems returning to normal. Danger in 7G neutralized. Have a nice day. The computer was programmed to know that something was neutralized.

Why couldn't it fix it? So that's a Spaceballs joke, by the way. Yeah. Come on, Simpsons. I like that everything is Super 1. And I captured it just because I loved it so much. The people at Old Folks Home had changed the channel from the news to watch Wheel of Fortune. They just cut back to them for no reason.

I'd like to solve the puzzle. Three loins in the fountain. I don't know why I think that's so funny. The correct answer is three coins in the fountain. I don't know why I think that's so funny. The correct answer is three coins in the fountain. A 1954 film starring nobody you've heard of, but was more famous because of a song sung by Frank Sinatra, the title theme, which became a standard at the time. Let me be a comedy nerd real quick.

This is a reference to planes, trains, and automobiles. When on the bus singing songs with a group, Steve Martin is given his turn to pick the song. He starts singing Three Coins in a Fountain. Nobody on the bus recognizes what it is, and Del Griffith has to jump in and start singing Flintstones. So nobody knows what Three Coins in a Fountain is. Nobody knew what it was 30 years ago.

I'm thinking way too much about this. Let alone 25 years ago. I don't know if you have this, Chris, but Ken Brockman's follow-up with Burns is my line of the the show it's uh this reporter promises to be more trusting and less vigilant in the future that was great yeah that was so great which is basically what our media is now i miss when comic book guys sold bootleg t-shirts he doesn't really do that he did that in this and then in the um spinal tap episode kind of stop being the bootleg t-shirt guy. Burns is impressed with Homer. Now bring me a wine spitzer and don't be stingy with the vino.

Yes, sir. So, Smithers, it seems you've underestimated one Homer Simpson, our next employee of the month. Yeah, implying this. What, Smithers has never not been an employee of the month? It's a great visual gag. Every picture is of Smithers until we see the homer with hair picture again uh i mentioned in an earlier episode of talking simpsons that uh bill oakley and josh weinstein drew a lot from

season three for their season seven and eight and this is feels like a lot like homer the smithers where homer is supplanting smithers as the better assistant for very for very like petty reasons for burns yeah later there's good there's a line that I almost forgot was in this and not Homer the Smithers. Oh, also, okay, so Magic Johnson, guys. Uh-oh. Irving Magic Johnson. He was the first sports star to ever be a guest on The Simpsons. Really?

Never a sports star before him. And the timing was inopportune. October 17th was when this episode aired. On a November 7th, Magic Johnson had a press conference to let the world know he had been diagnosed with HIV. And he would not be competing in the Lakers the next season. That's how short it was. This episode, I didn't watch basketball, let alone the Lakers, like some California team in Florida or Georgia. I'd never watched that.

But I'd heard of him from the show. And then the next two weeks later to learn what AIDS was, because I didn't know what that was as a kid, and then find out this famous basketball player had it. It was a big eye-opener. So I'd heard of both Magic Johnson and AIDS. Just never put the two together, man. Why not? They were incredibly lucky, but Magic Johnson was not, obviously.

But they got Magic Johnson right before he was just basically, oh, you're the HIV positive guy. Yeah, yeah, that does kind of suck. In a pre-AIDS and Jordan world, Magic Johnson was the shit. Also credited as Irvin Johnson Jr. in the credits. Yeah. But we get to meet Magic Johnson and the Simpsons here. Homer! Homer! Homer! Now, now, let me do...

Homer! Homer! Homer! Homer, for your bravery and skill, we award you this ham, this plaque, this discount coupon book, and my own personal thumbs up. I have to keep this in. There it is. Oh, and what's this?

A congratulatory phone call from Irvin Magic Johnson. Magic Johnson! Yellow. Is this really Homer Simpson? Yeah. Wow. Homer, I just used our last time out to call and congratulate you on averting that nuclear holocaust. Well, thank you.

Magic, if you play on that ankle, you'll be in incredible pain. I don't care. Uh, Magic, what if people think a guy's a hero, but he was really just lucky? Don't worry. Sooner or later, people like that are exposed as the frauds they are. Thanks, Magic. So I wish I knew more about basketball. I understand basketball, you call like 800,000 timeouts, especially at the end of the game, and that's why that joke is fun.

But was Magic Johnson's thing like playing while injured? I mean, every secret of professional sports is you're never 100%. You're always playing a little bit hurt. Sure. But that joke doesn't make sense unless he has a reputation for... The joke is that it's overdoing how awesome this guy is. It's one of those classic, like, how Steve Sochev or whichever one... Jose Canseco saves all the stuff out of that lady's house.

And, like, Johnny Carson is twirling around cars. He's the strongest man alive. Yeah. It's that overstating of things. When they probably had a joke that would have been negative to them, they said, no, I want to be positive. Okay, you're the greatest human that's ever lived. I was also shocked that he got to wear the Lakers jersey.

That is the logo of the Lakers and everything. You have to get hella permission for that. The Simpsons was really big at the time. I don't know if it went that deep, though. What do you do in a cartoon? Does it still count? It's strange. I have to imagine it's covered by kids.

The Denver Broncos. They got away with the Denver Broncos as well. The colors are one thing. That was the logo. You could see the logo on the helmets. Trust me, I had to look at it a lot recently because when the Denver Broncos were in the Super Bowl last year, it's all I knew about them. All right.

When Don Manningly shows up, I bet he's not wearing a Yankees uniform. But we're skipping over that part. Meanwhile, on the B story, this stuff all breaks my heart. Bart, my mom won't let me be your friend anymore. That's why you couldn't come to the party. What's she got against me me she says you're a bad influence bad influence my butt how many times have i told you never listen to your mother but

bart she threatened to cut off my allowance whatever she's paying you i'll double it i'm really sorry bart oh that is said win section don't you miss it we do we do meet uh luann van houten for the first time oh it's really really is another first. Two firsts on this episode. Kirk would not come until maybe... The end of the season. Yeah, that's right. Let me burn this one off real fast. Millhouse to burn!

Millhouse to burn! Please don't hate me. Please! Oh, God. If we want to talk about Luanne Van Houten, I've got a bit about that. She was one of the first of okay let's meet an established character's parents they look just like them yeah but i wonder if they had had to draw on the father and mother at the same time they would have drawn them to both look like him and the the other thing

the producers talk about regretting is that she wanted to do a millhouse imitation and then they told her like no no that's too broad you would just sound like a kid hank azaria said he did with with with kirk and that is the funniest voice yeah in a recent interview he's like what where'd you get the voice from he's like i just copied millhouse like and they feel so so that yeah they say like they feel bad because they told they told her not they told pamela hayden not to do a millhouse impression and her voice is just kind of nondescript it just sounds like a person ah please don't hate me she got a lot not to do a Milhouse impression. And her voice is just kind of nondescript. It just sounds like a person. Please don't hate me.

She got a lot more to do once she divorced Kurt. Oh, yeah. It's a duel. We're getting ahead of ourselves. And when she had a jacuzzi suit. Marge goes over to Luann's house and to plead with her. Mrs. Van Houten, I'm Bart's mother. We met in the emergency room when the boys drank paint.

I remember. Please come in. Marge, I'm sorry, but I think it would be better if Milhouse didn't see your son. Well, look, I know Bart can be a handful, but I also know what he's like inside. He's got a spark. It's not a bad thing. Of course, it makes him do bad things. Well, Marge, the other day Milhouse told me My meatloaf sucks

He must have gotten that from your little boy Because they certainly don't say that word on TV Well I can't defend everything he does But let's face it All Bart and Milhouse have is each other They're too young for girls And they're a popular target for bullies And in the Christmas pageant

They're always sheep please please let them be friends that's a sad argument of like they're both losers like losers and need one another they will have no one if you separate them it's very pragmatic that argument we also get a lot of nice scenes with lisa uh admiring homer i believe uh i think my line of the show is i might have said it earlier, I had another line. I like this one too. A role model in my very own home.

How convenient. That's her line. I also like before that, they clarify the award is for heroic competence. Right. I love that too. Barney had a couple of great lines too. Oh, I love the Barney line.

He's saying, I used to follow my dad to bars too. I'm a free man, ain't I? I like the line he had about carny folk. You can spit in your eye. Spit in their eye. But also, I love Homer having his employee parking and hitting Burns' car like, they'll never know who did it.

And that's also when we meet Aristotle Amadopoulos, played by John Lovitz. He'll be back in the season later. Hi, Simpson. Here's someone I want you to meet. Aristotle Amadopoulos played by John Lovitz. He'll be back in the season later. Ah, Simpson. There's someone I want you to meet. Aristotle Amadopoulos. Owner of the Shelbyville Nuclear Power Facility. Kissing Homer on the face. It seems Harry's been having terrible worker problems at Shelbyville.

They've lost their zest for work. You must help them find their ine haratu na du leve. Their ine haratu do la what? Yeah. We want you to give them a pep talk that turns them from a bunch of donut-eating goof-offs into a pack of homeless Simpsons. But I really can't tell them anything. Don't cut the false monstrosity. It's getting tiresome.

Besides, it's your duty. Employee of the month isn't all ham and plaques. I tried to figure out, like, what Aristotle was saying, and I think it's just, like, made-up Greek babbling, maybe. I would bet John Lovett's just made up Greek-sounding words. Aristotle Amidopoulos is the Flintheart Glumgold to Burns, in that he's

his rich rival. And they have fun, crazy, rich bets. But he doesn't live past season three, right? Well, actually, yes, he does, slightly. So he appears in this episode. He appears in the softball episode, though voiced by Dan Castellaneta. And he would appear two more times in one episode where they brought back Artie Ziff. They had a joke where John Lovitz's characters, all of them, were sitting in a bar together, including Aristotle.

And then the 2006 episode, the seemingly never-ending story where, I, I believe at one point Burns hides from some people with Lisa someplace. They need more than one rival for Burns, and they write the rival, his first rival, to be Rich Texan. They're like, no, we need a second rival. Oh, this old Aristotle. Let's bring him back. Was he John Lovitz that time? Sorry. That's okay.

I don't know, but I do know. It does suggest a falling out with john lovitz because he's on the same tier as phil hartman in the in these first three seasons he he's called in for three to four episodes a season plays multiple characters a utility a featured utility player and then just disappears well he did do the critic i mean is that is that did he create a riff between the simpsons commentary, he didn't seem that happy about Matt Grading not being happy about the critic crossover episode. That's right. That's right.

It could be that. That could have been a falling out. And only when Al Jean took back over in season 13, I believe it was, that that's when the door for Lovitz opened back up. Who other than Hartman and Joe Mantegna has been on this show more than John Lovitz? He was there in the glory years, and then they made The Critic, and he stopped doing Simpsons. It's really shitty to think about, actually. I hear personally he's a bad person, but other than that, I like his voice a lot. His voice is the shit!

I do like that he beat up Andy Dick, though. Somebody needed to do it. Motherfucker! He stinks! He didn't fix Andy Dick, though. No. But John Lovitz has got a new fiancé who definitely looks half his age. Oh, yeah.

Aristotle Amidopoulos is also inspired by Aristotle Onassis, the very rich Greek man who married Jacqueline Kennedy. Still seems like a Simpsons name. And people were not a fan of him then because, you know, she was the nation's widow. And then she married too soon after the death of Kennedy, like five years later. And she changed her name and everything. To Jacqueline Onassis. To Jackie O. But, yeah, people were not happy there.

I remember an old teacher of mine said the term, beware of Greeks bearing gifts, was about that guy because he was a rich dude. A filthy Greek-ay. It's hard to see racism against Greeks. Only remember, no, white people can't be that specific anymore. Jackie O just died. I'm like, who the fuck is that? I've never, I don't know Jackie O.

I've only read about Jacqueline Kennedy. I also do love any joke about the second prize in the beauty contest in Monopoly. Like, that is one of my favorite nothing prizes in that game. You get $10? Yeah, I thought so. $10. So great. I'll pay taxes with that, I guess.

Your looks make you the first loser. So Homer has to go to Shelbyville to give a speech on how to remain cool in a crisis, and the exact same thing happens at Shelbyville, and there is nobody even as dumb as Homer to try to address this problem. Two American meltdowns on American soil in the same week. That is the part of this episode

I don't like. I feel it's too contrived and they don't point it out enough. I feel like there should have been some other test for Homer. But I feel like there's a good joke there of nuclear power failing so much to that degree. As Homer talked about in the previous episode, his work at the nuclear power plant

would make him a criminal by that logic. But I call this clip Homer Homers again. Thank you, Homer, for saving my plant with that idiotic rhyming. Do you even know what button you push? Sure. Mo. Eeny, meeny, miny, mo.

Is Homer a hero? The answer is no. So right then he throws to Scott Christian, who was the guy who was always standing in for Kent Brockman in the first season, in a joke that none of us get to this day, even when it's laid out for us. But the laugh and a half segment was fun but also my two cents became a recurring segment for kent brockman it's appeared in like seven episodes but this was the first another first for this episode i'm gonna say a

dumb platitude yeah the the laugh and a half segment featured chief wiggum and it's like the episode before this like oh chief wiggum is a funny character second episode after that it's like oh let's put him in this fun skit for no reason like they realize wigum is funny and they're using him oh also showing the difference between season two and three reuniting bart and millhouse had a cute scene where he's like you stuck up for me no one else will oh and then bart coming up like pulling out his his bb gun like like he's gonna fuck up millhouse the amount of cocking that was happening there. You've got to pump those things. Yeah, like, I feel like season three when Flanders failed, there's a nice schmaltzy song at the end,

but there's no, like, undercurrent of darkness or, like, Homer getting his. But here it's like, no, no, Bart didn't learn anything. And Marge probably endangered Millhouse further. And Chris, we do have a death in this episode. Oh, no. A guest who has, like, three lines in this entire show. Death stalks you at every turn. There it is.

Death. It's a good line with outrageously loud arcade music. I love it. So Chick Hearn, the NBA announcer we hear in the second Magic Johnson clip, he's dead. He died in 2002. So we have one fatality in this episode. Magic Johnson coming down the floor on a fast break. Magic stops his feet.

Slip off from under him. The ball flies out flies out of his hand hits the referee and the head goes in the basket it's a three-point play the lakers win looks like i put a homer that chick hearn is like i mean that's such a great announcer voice it was bizarre to get a real announcer for that sequence the lakers announcer wow like well they're gettable if you're gonna get any that does imply like some kind of they talk to He was the Lakers announcer of the time. Wow. Well, they're gettable. That does imply they talk to somebody at the Lakers. Yeah, but if you're going to get any sports team, it's the one in LA.

For most of these old people you hear, it's like their grandkids are the ones who made them do it. Because they're like, I'll be a hero to my grandkids if I'm talking to Homer. And that's why these really, really old guys, especially in later seasons, would just be on the show. Also, thumbs up to the Foley work on the squeak of his slip. That is a really good one. There's good animation

too when he's slipping. It's beautiful, and it's unlike some of the other stuff in the earlier seasons. It's consistent with The Simpsons. His highly animated slip. Yeah, maybe there was an animator that was like, finally a basketball scene. I love basketball so much, and I never get to do it.

This I can do. They do say that on commentaries. For car-heavy shows, they find the guys who like to draw cars and it's like, now is my time to shine. I think they also mentioned on this commentary that if you tell them to draw a woman with large breasts, the animators are very, very happy to do that. For the bongos card,

I think they couldn't have gotten bigger. Oh boy, I cut my teeth on tits. So is that the end of Homeward Defined? How do we feel about this episode? I like the dictionary bookend. I actually think it is the best episode so far of the season. I liked Bart the Murderer more so far. I liked it had more heightened zanyness, I think.

I think it's funnier. I think that episode is definitely funnier. And I'm going to tell you in love is good, fellas. I'm. I think that episode is definitely funnier. And I'm an Italian who loves Goodfellas. I'm going to love that episode. But in terms of how everything is staged, the framing, the composition, the pacing, there are an A and a B story. But I don't know. I remember them both with relish, kind of.

They're both A stories to me. I think it's beautifully done. I think the sequences with Homer finding the button are so good the lighting in the danger alarms are shooting off they might be the best animated of this season they don't break the model of the Simpsons yet they seem to be finding it

I have not watched anything further than this but so far holy shit this is all coming together Brad Bird co-directed the next episode so save your animation I think this is a good one I think they tried too hard all coming together. Oh, yeah. Well, Brad Bird co-directed the next episode, so save your animation rules. It's going to be so great. Yeah, I think this is a good one.

I think they tried too hard with the definition of Homer, but I think Lovitz did great, especially with that idiotic rhyming. He did a real what is a man, Glass Throw. What is a man? That was great, but I liked it. I also thought that Magic Johnson's not an actor. He clearly is not, but he did have a talk show, inexplicably.

He wasn't good at that. No, he was not. If I may take some of the pressure off him, neither is Michael Jordan. He got his own movie co-starring the Looney Tunes. I don't know, bugs. Michael Jordan can barely dress himself. I think we've seen pictures of him in public. He can barely not shave a Hitler mustache.

What do you think about this Hitler mustache? It's great, Michael. What if I cried a lot and make that a meme? That's way too much energy for Michael Jordan. I'm in a movie with a Looney Tunes guy. There's kids today who will just know him as, oh, that crying face meme guy. I didn't know that was him because his face is so

stretched out. What was he crying about? I don't know what you're talking about. Have you seen pictures of a bald black man's face crying when people have a meme of something sad happening? Oh, I've seen it everywhere now.

Look it up. Sad Michael Jordan. I assume someone was pepper sprayed until I found out it was Michael Jordan. Yeah, so thanks so much for listening to

Talking Simpsons. I've been your host, Bob Mackie. You can find me on Twitter as Bob Serbo. I also write for US Gamer and Something Awful. And please listen to my classic gaming podcast,

Retro Knots, every week. It comes up every Monday, and you can find that at retronauts.com or usgamer.net or find it in your podcast machine by searching for Retro Knots. Everybody else. I'm going to plug The Critic, because I think it's a really fun show. I'd like to watch it. And I guess I'll plug the

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to wrap up special all exclusively there along with a bunch of other stuff. Patreon.com slash laser time. So that's it for us this week. Thanks so much for listening. We'll be back next week to explore Krusty the Clown's Jewish roots. Later, everybody. Wow. Infotainment.