Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Homer The Vigilante
Episode Date: April 26, 2017Springfield is struck by a crime wave and Homer is out to save the town through vigilante justice. Can he find Lisa’s saxophone, only beat people with knobs, or will it all break down into a film p...arody? Find out in this week's podcast!
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this episode of talking simpsons is brought to you by vinyl me please the best damn record of
the month club and you listeners can go to join vmp.com slash laser time and see how you can save
40 on a full year of badass records i heartily endorse this event or product. Acer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Who is here with me as usual? Henry Gilbert and I'm full of piss and vinegar.
Before it was only vinegar.
And who else?
Rapmaster 2000, Chris Anteas.
Oh, I thought you were Hammer.
And today's episode is Homer the Vigilante.
Okay, men.
It's time to clean up this town.
Meaning what exactly?
You know, push people around, make ourselves feel big.
And this episode aired on January 6, 1994.
Our first 94 episode.
Listen, 94 is the year of so many great video games.
Donkey Kong 94, Final Fantasy 6, God help me, Super Metroid, Mother 2 in Japan, known as Earthbound here.
It's a great year for video games.
I'm sorry, Chris.
I just wanted to put that out there.
No, no.
Sonic 3?
Sonic 3, not good.
Donkey Kong Country? Also not good. Donkey Kong Country.
Also not good.
Let's move on.
Oh, my God.
Hey, speaking of technology, sales for TV-VCR combos are up 55% right now.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
At the box office, nobody can out the Mrs. Doubtfire, and a mysterious person viciously
attacks gold medal contender, figure skater, Nancy Kerrigan. my goodness man it's a happy new year we i think we're getting
dangerously close to doing an episode of talking critic in the timeline but the uh because the
critic is about to premiere but it's virtually defined by these years the critic was canceled
what there's a great article called how the critic was killed by nancy kerrigan
and it was that the attack on nancy kerrigan made that the one of the most watched sporting events
of all time and abc was like nobody watches the winter olympics we're gonna put a brand new episode
of the critic on against the winter olympics and it was like the low it set records for low
ratings of first run entertainment.
I just think of I did a video a long time ago
for the top video games of 1994
according to the US
box office meaning
Toy Story. Toy Story didn't make it in there.
But I did a little montage at the beginning and I did a joke
that nobody gets where I just yelled
it's a pennant in the background
of a flashback of the movie
Run, Run, and Run,
the Mr. Show movie.
And they just do a flashback.
You remember seven years ago?
And there's just a pennant,
small pennant in the background
that just says 1994,
the year of years.
Jesus.
It seems outpreciant
to hang something like that.
It makes me laugh so much.
This is before social media.
I feel like events like these
were so outlandish and so memorable,
they would stick with us for years. If some figure skater got their knee bashed in it
would be forgotten in a day but this lived on for so long it was part of the immortal weird al uh
song headline news oh my god which talks about arena bobbitt the kid who was caned in singapore
a later simpsons episode and this thing exactly uh yes yeah yeah and well there's a documentary
about it nancy and like everybody else is reliant on being invited on talk shows to talk about it
because everybody's out of jail.
And Nancy Kerrigan's like, I was the best at my sport,
and I fucking hate that this defines me.
That does suck.
Well, and it's also unfortunate that Tanya Harding likely did the planning.
It's hard to see it any other way but
she was like it's unfortunate she was cast as like and she's a terrible figure skater had to
hurt someone on her team to do better like no she was great like she she could do stuff other
people couldn't do like that were feats of strength but it also meant trying and sometimes
failing i wish i knew that 30 for 30 about it. It's fucking fascinating.
And I think Bolster,
because they had just split up the summer
and winter Olympics at that point.
It was like the second or third time they'd done that.
And I think that brought more attention
to the winter Olympics
than any qualified athlete would have done.
And I think the mastermind, quote unquote,
of this plan, Jeff Gallulli,
would just be a David Letterman
punchline like Joey Buttafuoco.
He would just say Jeff Galooly.
Jeff Galooly.
It's a funny name, and he just said it for no reason.
Ah, Galooly.
The 30 for 30 also pointed out something I never
knew about figure skating until then,
is that figure skating is bullshit because it's all
judges. It's all up to the judges,
and judges come with their own prejudices and that includes if you are an out figure skater you
might be judged for that and they're like this wasn't a manly enough performance by the other
way around if you're the sole not out figures well it's some some figure skating judges are
just are surprisingly not cool with gay people and are more very buttoned down and religious.
There's, for 20 years, there were jokes, and it's like, ooh, not good for the Russian judges.
Well, there's also that.
But then Tanya, too, had that thing of, like, they tried to make her girly.
They talk in the documentary about trying to make her girlier because she's like, well, if she looks too tough, then they'll think she's not feminine enough and they'll knock against her.
That's bullshit.
There are too many factors into appealing to these arbitrary rules
and subjective opinions of judges.
I know people are mad at us for...
That was the cool thing about the documentary.
It wasn't that they just came across one another.
They'd been touring together for years.
They'd known each other for a long time.
And The Simpsons did reference this
when Burns' trick knee got attacked by Moe in a mask.
It would be like me kicking you in the back
because you wanted a RetroNuts episode
that I wanted to go on.
So this episode, Home of the Vigilante,
I'm not sure if you have a clip of this,
but a lot of it is based on a really old movie.
This is totally a John Schwarzwalder pool.
It is the movie
Raffles about a
gentleman thief named A.J. Raffles
who leaves a calling card behind. He's a cat burglar.
So I don't...
It's hard to find clips of this. This is from 1939?
1939. It's played by David Niven.
David Niven. Well, I've got more to say.
It's like his breakout role.
I think so. So I wasn't able to like...
There are no clips of this online.
There's no good clips, I don't think.
But what I did find is
why not get someone more qualified?
So I don't want to rely on this ever again
because there's not a lot of jobs
involved with being on Talking Simpsons.
Part of this is doing your own research.
But this was a little difficult.
I wasn't that interested.
So I thought,
why don't I just default to
good old Turner Classic movies, Ben Mankiewicz. parts, but he gradually worked his way up through the credits, and with this film, at last, he was
getting top billing, playing the title
role as man about town
A.J. Raffles. He's a star
cricket player, he's a hit with the ladies,
and he's also an accomplished
jewel thief. I like to think
of Ben Mankiewicz as a Michael
Showalter character.
Don't you ever joke about Ben Mankiewicz,
he's the only thing we have left after
poor robert osborne he is just the ultimate movie grandpa all my movie grandpas are dying it sucks
and whoever that uh that woman who i love and hate on the weekends just because i want her job
she's too young to know about old movies no i want her job so bad i want it so bad but so david
niven's performances raffles would also be the basis for a character he would play in The Pink Panther.
Right.
Which is actually closer just in age to the character of Malloy in this episode.
And I have a clip for that too.
Do you?
Do you really have to leave this afternoon?
Yes.
Isn't this a departure all of a sudden?
Not at all.
Why do you think so?
Well, I just thought that after last night that that my leaving has nothing to do with last night hasn't it and the music
uses a lot more evocative of pink panther as well it's a straight up pink panther themes for but
the reason they cast david in that was because of raffles he's supposed to be playing his raffles
type character who steals the pink panther a jewel
and he's being tracked down by the police in the film it's supposed to be a david niven film but
they cast peter sellers in it who steals every second he is on screen and that's all he does in
every movie niven never came i don't believe niven came back for the sequels i think they were just clouseau films at that point yeah and it's funny i re-watched it was hard to even find a clip on
youtube that featured david niven from the pink panther because all the clips on youtube are the
funnier peter seller scenes and in the peter sellers film that starred Jeffrey Rush playing him I remember in the scenes
during the filming of the first Pink Panther
that some person
interviews him and said
I hear you're stealing this movie from David Niveny
and he's like oh no we're working together
they've got a basic
cartoon character after me
that'll run on TNT for years to come
kids won't like it as much as
Bugs Bunny.
It's no Ant and the Oddbuck.
All those MGM tunes suck.
Why'd you bring that up? So many wasted afternoons.
But so yeah, you look at David Niven
in Pink Panther.
He looks a lot like Malloy. Malloy is him.
It's just that Sam Neill,
Grant from Jurassic Park.
Who does a fantastic job in this episode.
He does, but he's not going for an impression. He's just playing himself. And this is six months after Jurassic Park. Who does a fantastic job in this episode. He does, but he's not going for an impression.
He's just playing himself.
And this is six months after Jurassic Park.
I don't know if Jurassic Park was hot when they hired him for this.
Maybe it was just breaking out into a huge movie.
It was always going to be huge, no matter what.
I can't...
I know I've since seen...
Obviously, Jurassic Park was my...
Jurassic Park was my get-woke movie.
Like, oh my god, I love movies.
That's all I love.
And I discovered Sam Neill and stuff afterwards.
So I imagine he had some small breakout role.
Yeah.
But he was much more prominent after Jurassic Park.
I mean, yeah, he was in films before him.
In terms of what I know about the Simpsons production at this cycle,
I don't know what role would have launched Sam Neill into the role of Malloy.
You didn't see The Omen 3?
I did not.
It's a great movie.
A great bad movie.
I waited for 666.
I loved in the third Jurassic Park film, they tried to turn him into Indiana Jones.
It's like, come on, man.
Sam Neill's supposed to be just like a geek who hates children.
That's his character.
He was schlubby in 93.
Exactly.
And this is a John Schwarzwalder episode, and you know it is because Homer acts like a dog,
which, as Schwarzwalder has said of his way of writing Homer, is a dog that can say its own name.
That is how he writes Homer.
Ah, that's great.
Dad, we've been robbed!
Wake up, Dad, wake up!
There was a burglar and he took my saxophone!
Woo-hoo!
And our portable TV!
Go!
And my necklace!
That's no big loss. Homer, that necklace was a priceless
Bouvier family heirloom.
Oh, you probably got a whole drawer full of them.
Well, yes I do. But they're all heirlooms
too. It's more visual,
but I love the ball. Just the big ball of red
pearls, whatever they are. They're all
family heirlooms, and I like the
I also like just the sound of
them coming out of her neck like
just popping out i think they have to because that's referenced later yeah it's true yeah just
the sound of pearls march sleeps with her with her jewelry on i guess yeah and i wanted to ask
you guys um have you ever been robbed like your house no no i have interesting story no i oh boy
i had my this is gonna sound so privileged but had my... My summer house was broken into during the regatta.
I went to a camp based on hobbies, and I immaculately put...
I actually have the folder.
I brought it back for the Marvel cards folder.
Ah, yes.
And my hobby is these Marvel cards, so I brought them, and then I went to lunch, and then they
were all stolen.
And it was like the most heartbroken...
I've had shit stolen and lost stuff, but that was the most heartbroken I've had shit stolen and lost stuff but that was the
most heartbroken i've ever been the i had as a kid it was my prize thing at the time yeah as a kid i
was very trusting uh too much of people who just said oh that your super soaker is really cool
could you lend that to me and nothing happened and then and then by the end of the day it was
returned to me broken and they're like yeah, yeah, we smashed it. Who cared?
That's sad.
And one time I went to where I had parked my car in front of my house,
back when I owned a car, and it had clearly, like,
the seat was reclined and stuff was moved around.
I was like, I don't think I left the doors unlocked,
but somebody came in here and laid it down in this car.
Weird.
It was just, but as far as I could tell, nothing was missing,
but it was just this feeling of like,
this is a massive invasion of my privacy.
This car feels weird now.
To my credit, I don't own anything of value.
I'm looking around, Chris.
I see at least $30 worth of Amiibo on your wall.
Yeah, someone sent me a bunch of Amiibos.
You would have to know me and the value of Amiibos
and get into this house.
It would be very easy to find our Malloy.
Plenty of room on the fourth floor.
That's a long way to go.
Well, someone did break into my house when I was in it, actually.
And I blame my sister because at the time she was hanging out with some real bad seeds
on the wrong side of the tracks.
So of course it was somebody you knew, not just some random...
It tends to be how it always is.
I think it's somebody that knew there was a person in a middle class
home, possibly full of valuables they could steal
from. But I was home.
I was slightly hopped up on cold medicine. I was staying
home from work because I had the flu.
So wait, how old were you? I was
probably 18.
I had to be 18 because I remember I was playing
SSX, the PS2 launch game,
while hopped up on Dayquil.
Steelfish, Christ's grail.
And I love that song for Dot.
I can never get over it.
But I was playing it.
I hear all these banging around noises.
And I'm like, what's happening in my house?
My sister's at work.
My parents are at work.
What's going on?
They're coming from upstairs.
So I open the door to my parents' room, which is just a set of stairs up to a loft area or whatever.
And I see a man at the top of the stairs.
And I am in my clouded flu slash cold medicine line of thinking, and I say, the first thing
that comes out of my mouth, which is really stupid, is, do I know you?
And the guy's like...
And the sitcom audience cracked up.
I mean, I could hear the laughter in my head, but I think the guy said, yeah.
And I was like, very well then. I closed the door.
And then the gears start turning.
I'm like, oh, wait a minute. That's a thief.
And then
as I realize what's happening,
he comes bounding down the stairs,
goes through my sister's room and out the window he
came in. And I also go through
the same window and
running with socks on through the snow
through the backyard. He's not even holding anything.
I'm like, wait a minute, why am I chasing this guy?
He's out of my house now. So then I call
the police and it's fine. We got our locks changed.
There was no problems after that. But that was kind of scary.
Knowing a guy was in your house
and he shouldn't have been there.
I should say I broke into a ton
of places. Not a lot of theft though.
It's more like, what lick are you got?
It's more like squatting.
That is my brush.
We'll get into that sometime, but I had a lot of runaway experiences, for real.
That was my brush with a B&E, and I came out clean.
Did you lose your stamp
collection, though? I'm not that much of a nerd.
It's a crime wave.
I love that Nelson
calls him to go ha-ha.
It is the most extreme
links to a ha ha to this point, but
there will be a more extreme one soon.
And I do like that.
I even took my stamp collection.
You had a stamp collection?
Stamp collection!
Bart's pain is funny, but mine isn't.
That saxophone was my one creative outlet.
It was the only way I could truly express myself.
Shh.
Quiet, Lisa.
Hey, the burglar left his calling card.
You have just been robbed by the Springfield cat burglar.
Cute.
Hi-de-lee-ho, neighborinos.
Can't talk. Rob, go help hell you folks got robbed too the burglar took
my shroud of turin beach towels wow it's a crime wave there's like three line of the show candidates
in there that one conversation yeah it's great i love the uh the bart's pain is funny but mine
isn't you know i'll just be in callous i we don't usually we should do it more democratically yeah
and like can't talk robbed go hell yeah go hell is the best
that's the joke i'm very happy that's our line of the show jingle everybody so i want to ask you
um do you have the clip of what was stolen from skinner because i had several questions about this
well uh i want to unpack a few things in that scene. Oh, sure, sure. It said that the cat butler was established in 1957,
which is a good setup for how old he is.
True, true.
He's been doing it since 57.
That Homer forgot that Homer should care more about that sax
because they don't have an AC unit
because he bought that sax for her five years earlier.
That's right.
He should care more.
He should have had time to get an AC unit in the next five years.
The Shroud of Turin beach towels feel...
It's a funny joke.
It's a cute little joke.
But I always think of Catholics when I think of Shroud of Turin, which Ned is not a Catholic.
He definitely isn't.
And I mean, the joke in this episode in the beginning is Bart is sleeping with a television.
That's so funny.
And it's like, that's just me today. It's a tablet.
I fall asleep watching things on a tablet
every night. It's not even a joke anymore.
Every time I'm like, oh, I rolled over on my
girlfriend's phone. Oh, it's mine.
Because they're both in the bed. I just wake up
tangled in headphones every morning.
Where am I? How could you put
your phone anywhere but out of
hand's reach? You have to have it.
You could never not have it an iPhone doesn't sell
any other charging cord more than two inches
so it's got to be close to you
and my phone is my alarm clock
so if I put it farther away when it goes
off like where's the damn phone
turn on the alarm so I do want to talk
about the Norman Schwarzkopf
collector plates
I was hoping
I knew what he was referencing Principal Skinner's Storm and Norman collector plates funny Storm and Norman. I was hoping... I knew what he was referencing.
Oh, me too, yeah.
Principal Skinner's
Storm and Norman collector plates.
Funny.
It's another one
where I went to Twitter
because I get it.
I was so hoping
it was a comic book character
that I didn't know about.
Oh, you didn't know
about Norman Schwarzkopf?
I did.
I just wanted it to be not bad.
More interesting.
Because it doesn't tell you
that much of...
I don't think that gels
with Skinner very well.
I mean, no, it does.
It is. Skinner is a boring guy, and
Schwarzkopf is kind of the most boring military
hero of recent memory. He won
a very easily winnable war.
Skinner's not pro-military. He's traumatized.
I mean, no, he would respect
other people in uniform. He's never done
that specifically before.
We'll see more of that in
the season 100 100 i'm sorry
exactly but so there's a joke here and i get that skinner is lame for having these but it's like
they were stolen again so i went to twitter and i was like what does this joke mean twitter at tell
me and there were some interesting solutions to this there was the joke is that they should have
never been stolen in the first place and they were stolen again it is a very low value item yes the other interpretation was that they were stolen and
then returned because the thief realized he could get nothing for them but i am overthinking this
joke please let me know in the comments what you think the interpretation is i mean when i think of
norman swartzkopf who is what like the he was the general during he was the the general during the Desert Storm.
Desert Storm was such a media-ized thing.
And they're like, it's Storm and Norman.
He's so cool.
I don't fucking care.
He was so boring and staunch.
And the only thing I think of when I hear his name is the Mad Magazine cover.
And someone out there is high-fiving me right now.
I think I had that cover, Chris.
It is so symbolic of the era because he was a four-star general and and levi's had introduced
the buttonfly jeans i had this i had this and he had a he had a four-star buttonfly hilarious
his desert storm fatigue oh my god that's when i started reading mad lady it was that's when i
started i started as well i have one last theory about those commemorative plates, why they've been stolen again
so he was
sold to a degree, like so they would
have made stuff like those
but I think they were stolen again
because he's a principal and he's being pranked
by kids, so the first time they were
stolen was by
let's say Jimbo
that's another interpretation
I want to say we should move on, but this is exactly what the show is for. That's what we're here for.
I mean, John Swartzwater, if you're listening, please let us know.
But yeah, I...
Finally reach out. Barney wakes
up naked with everything stolen, which
makes me think, so did Maloia undress
him, or was he asleep nude? I think he just
took off his clothes on a bender
and just passed out on the floor.
The joke is that he's
been robbed and doesn't notice.
And I want to say this could be the last time we see his crappy apartment.
I feel like we're seeing less and less of it as he becomes less of a character,
more of just a joke that's inserted.
It's true.
I feel like even in his recovering alcoholism episode,
you don't see too much of the inside of his place.
You want some more
simpson i love homers i love homers curse you curse you magic beans that's another of my favorite
lines it was a little too far but uh this is if you're simpson's nerd yeah i got this down are
you sitting down good i wish to report a robbery a robbery right thanks for the report it's another
one lou 723 Evergreen Terrace.
No.
Is it the second time the address is wrong?
What was the first time they solidified this as 742?
742 was...
Snake's address.
No, all right.
So 742 was Snake's address.
It was Margin Chains.
When they ship the juicer to Homer, it was 742 was the address.
Now it's 24? 724, he said? It was 742 was the address. Now it's
24? 724 he said?
What did Wiggum say? 24?
He said 23.
And I think it's just they forgot it.
That's the other side of the fucking street, man.
I feel like Oakley and Weinstein
would never let this happen again.
Remember, it's 742.
I'm going to keep my eyes out
for this to be the last time they get the address wrong.
I think it will be.
I do love their wrong conclusions.
Like, move the pins around.
Oh, it's pointing right here.
Almost.
It looks like an error.
And I think we've come to the conclusion of what my favorite kind of episode is.
It's when all of Springfield is panicking.
Yes.
That's my favorite.
Because then you get these little moments where characters can shine it's shine like frank well as you can see when the burglar trips the alarm
the house raises from its foundations and runs down the street around the corner to safety
well the the real humans won't uh won't burn quite so fast
and that's a little twister mouth for you.
Oh, you're right.
In that shot.
A mini twister.
And I know now from syndication,
that joke is paid off later,
and they cut that.
Yeah, with the running house.
With the running house,
because it follows into the laser sequence,
which is cut in most of the syndication versions I've seen,
because it's so long to make two jokes.
It's something they can cut, yeah, without affecting the plot at all.
But when I think of how crazy the show has gotten,
the test of him making a miniature running house, that's one thing.
But they built them for real and Bart activates one.
I'm just thinking of how it would take to install that under your foundation.
He built a fake family that could catch on fire and fall out of the house.
You have to hope that the house was empty when Bart activated it or he killed all the people in that house.
I do like the idea of the house running away, possibly with the burglar still inside.
Or with the family at work.
Where's my house?
It defended itself.
Also, the second Wiggum is there with that dog, you know he's going to be attacked by it.
Just like, ma-me-ma-mo-mo.
Ma-me-ma-mo-mo.
And that Kent is just as bad in this.
Like, Kent runs the news to terrify people.
Would you say it's time to panic?
Yes, I would.
Yes, sir.
I didn't get him at all.
Professor.
I love that.
I love the professor.
Yes, I would. But it's time to meet Malloy, I would. Yes, sir. I didn't get him at all. Professor. I love that. He's so great. Yes, I would.
But it's time to meet Malloy, I think.
It's the cat burglar.
Please don't kill me.
Abe, can I borrow your ointment?
Oh, it's you, Malloy.
All right.
But this time, clean off the applicator.
Talk about butt cream, everybody.
Butt cream.
He'll slash you here.
Samuel, everybody. Butt cream. He'll slash you here. Samuel, baby.
Also, Apu is super aggro this week,
shooting at people for a quick moment.
Thank you, go to hell.
Though he's been robbed so many times before
that I can see this pushing him over the edge.
It's about time he starts firing back.
The only time this gets better for me is
this season, right?
The Comet episode?
Yeah, season six.
I love it when all of Springfield goes insane.
Yeah, very, very mercenary.
Anything with just the town hysteria, I feel like, that's his.
They shouldn't even be scared of being robbed again because they already have been.
Exactly.
That's when we get one of my favorite GIF moments I used recently of Homer thinking over jug music.
It's so good.
What's the point of all these precautions?
I've already lost the only thing
that matters to me.
Oh, Lisa, stop pining for your saxophone.
I got you another instrument.
What, this jug?
Hee hee!
Whee!
Whoa!
Heel, heel, heel! Lisa, never ever stop in the middle of a hoedown and homer immediately just turns into a hillbilly
like oh yeah i love the stepping back and forth while he has a stern look on his face while lisa
looks pissed as fuck it's a great act break joke to go out there are a few things in this world i
love more than emmett otter's jug band. Anybody playing the jug? I've used a gif
of the Homer thinking to jug
music as
me trying to think of a
subtweet to do to somebody.
Or a fucking sub-headline.
So Act 2 opens
in the little scene
Ned's rumpus room.
The bar and everything.
You've got a lawsuit on your hands.
This would have been my line of the show,
but I'm willing to default to majority here,
just because I love panicky Springfield people.
I do love the I'm someone else line.
Welcome, neighbors.
Since the police can't seem to get off their dufferoonies
to do something about this burglarino,
I think it's time we start our own neighborhood watch.
Aroonie! Yes! Who should lead the group? You! Yes! about this burglarino, I think it's time we start our own neighborhood watch. Aruni!
Yeah!
Aruni should lead the group.
You!
Yeah!
Flanders!
Flanders!
Flanders!
I don't really have very much experience,
but I'll be...
Someone else!
Yeah!
Someone else!
Someone else!
Someone else!
I'm someone else!
He's right!
That is so...
Just beautiful.
I love the fickleness.
They just want a quick solution with no problems that are evident at all.
Ned's momentary pausing just to accept, like he is accepting, is enough for them to go
like, no, we lost trust here.
Then Homer...
He's right!
Mo is my favorite yelling person in the mob.
Yeah.
Let's go get some cider! I mean, I think mo's violent tendencies really come out the mud he's slowly turning into more and more
of a dirtbag yeah i think we see a lot of that in this episode that homer describes himself as
as something all mobs loves like we need to we don't need a thing or we need to do or someone
who will act without considering the consequence an outsider yeah yeah an outsider running like a business uh and then came a joke that i was glad it was on
the dvd that was never on my vhs because they cut it for uh at least i swear to god the the gun scene
was not oh bart with the gun was not on there. They cut before showing Bart with a gun. I remember that one.
Yeah, the DVD Bart with a gun is on there. Okay, but syndication.
In the first run that I taped, my first version did not have Bart with a gun.
It's funny, on the DVD they said they had to fight for that,
so maybe the first airing did not have it, and they put in subsequent airings.
I don't think the guns are a good idea.
Bart, we're responsible adults.
And if a group of
responsible adults can't handle firearms
in a responsible way
sorry
me again
sorry
yeah that reveal of Bart's is very great
so great
eventually everyone gets into different costumes
it's so weird because Barney's
just dressed like someone at the gulp and blow.
Yeah, exactly. He's a gulp and blow employee.
Apu is dressed as a Sikh, I think.
I thought he was a Hindu.
That's true.
Are you saying they don't understand Indian culture
and just made a joke?
This is the portion of the show where Chris pretends to know the difference.
There is a difference.
And Skinner is dressed as a green beret.
Literally wearing a green beret.
He is a green beret. He beat up those lawyersner is just as like a green beret, literally wearing a green beret. He is a green beret.
He beat up those lawyers from Disney and identified as a green beret.
And Moe is like a World War I, like, what do you call that?
Kaiser helmet.
Recruitermeister.
Or whatever, I don't know.
It's an interesting gang, though.
Now it is.
They immediately fall into violence, as with all people who just want to protect their neighborhood.
In a post-George Zimmerman world, this is less funny. Captain America said it. Immediately fall into violence, as with all people who just want to protect their neighborhood. Yeah.
In a post-George Zimmerman world, this is less funny.
Captain America said it.
Everyone who starts a war before it starts, innocent people get hurt.
Yeah.
Every time.
And what is Homer dressed as? I really can't tell.
He's got this weird fisherman's hat on and just a tan UPS driver outfit.
I didn't figure it out either.
I thought I found it familiar.
Is he in a literal brown shirt, but it's more of a tan shirt i think i'm just thinking of bruce
dern from the birds i think of dudes wearing that hat in the jungle like in the jungle yeah
but i can't i can't identify commenters have that if you're banging your ex-wife's uh adopted asian
daughter and you're woody allen is that what he does he just wears that hat when he does it
fisherman hat.
Oh, yeah.
That's where the Pits and Vinegar line comes in, where Abe wants to do it, and he can't.
They barely use it as a story point, but they're like, we don't want your help, Abe. You're old and useless.
Establish three times.
So if there is a rule of threes that the elderly are ignored, despite the wanting to help.
And he's proud that he racistly ran out to the Irish of Springfield.
What a fine job you did.
One of the darkest jokes that I can remember, just thinking, like, what is the darkest Simpsons joke?
It's Abe saying, though, like, this tickling me is a form of abuse.
A form of abuse.
Yeah, it's like, that's just a really, like, just starkly dark joke.
Yeah, it is.
We never thought of it because it would never occur to you to tickle an old person.
And tell them that you're so useless, aren't you?
Disgusting.
Yeah.
The Simpsons will be right back.
When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops.
So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you.
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Did I mention that we care?
What up, Talking Simpsons listeners?
I'm assuming right now,
if you have gotten all the references in this episode,
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here's a taste of what you've been missing. I had a slam-banging weekend.
Saw a ton of people.
Old GR friends, Charlie and Cherry.
That was...
I didn't really invite Charlie over as much as he said,
we paid for a babysitter and we're going to do shit.
But it's like, we have one night,
we're forcing ourselves upon somebody.
Oh yeah, I would absolutely do it.
Thank God you did.
Whose house is open?
Because I'm going to be in it very soon.
It really brought me back to like, who moved out right away?
Oh, man, let's go over there.
What is he doing?
Let's all meet over at his house, whether he likes it or not.
I lived in a house towards the end of my Illinois run where it was like,
yeah, just come over whenever.
And then it was, oh, good.
I'm glad there's always a party here.
I would, like, come out of my room and be like, there's 50 people here.
I don't know most of them.
And, like uh then there's
one point cops show up because they're like yeah we got reports i'm like from who i couldn't hit a
house a neighbor's house with a football but then they're like we heard there's a report of underage
drinking and i'm like no no no no every literally everybody get out of my house right now we had a
dumb the cops can't say anything if you have a sign in your door that says no one drinking under 21
like that is there's no way that's the law.
I can Mario Paint
out a picture that says
no one under 21. I'm under 21.
That is impossible. And the picture
was my friend in
a full bali-claw
and Kevlar holding a shotgun
to my head as I presented my ID.
Someday I want to find that picture.
It was great.
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But of course they go to Herman's shop to get these things.
Like, if Herman didn't exist before this episode, they'd have made him up for this. Yeah, yeah. That's a good because a very rare appearance.
He's used tactically.
I mean, he's using the Pulp Fiction parody, obviously.
I'm sure he'd be in the Falling Down parody if they made one.
He's a Schwartz Welder character.
He really is.
Yeah.
His burger doesn't look anything like the pictures.
I mean, Schwartz Welder, I believe, wrote the episode, the Bart's War episode.
Bart the General.
Bart the general. And that I think a dark side of Schwarzwalder is,
is Herman.
I'm just the guy who wants to hunker down with his guns.
But he also wrote the cartridge family.
And just like the scene in this,
it shows that guns are bad in the hands of the wrong people.
Like Homer and Mo and Barney.
And,
and Herman who like this second Homer says,
like,
I'm part of a neighborhood watch group.
Like, well, then all can be trusted
and shows them an awesome missile.
And it's just weird that this is like,
this is a very specific Doctor Strangelove reference,
even though the last episode title
is a very specific Doctor Strangelove reference
with no references in the cartoon.
I credit Oakley and Weinstein.
I think they are the most involved,
interested in the Strangelove parodies.
Yeah, and to their credit, that scene, it's Slim Pickens riding the bomb.
But even in the cartoon, it's matted in the same way.
It is.
There's the same amount of shadow on that sequence with Homer riding the bomb.
It's magical. I love it.
This is what caused me to watch Dr. Strangelove, I think.
And Dr. Strangelove is one of my all-time favorite movies ever.
It's so good.
If you think Stanley Kubrick can't do comedy, he is a master.
He was a master of comedy.
He just didn't do many other comedies after Strangelove.
Again, with Peter Sellers, multiple roles.
And I think it took me maybe two or three viewings to realize,
oh, that's one guy playing these different people.
Yeah, me too.
I didn't realize he was the fae French officer and the president.
He was in London.
He was a British officer at the fort.
Then he was the president muffly.
And then he was Strangelove.
And he was originally going to be a guy in the play.
And he was going to be Slim Pickett's part.
But he just couldn't do it.
This was also from the Geoffrey Rush thing i'm just like i can't do a southern
the beautiful thing i want to point out because i just watched the side hackers which has a lot
of patent references which because that had four stars in my tv guide i watched it all the time
despite not loving it no george c scott is so fucking funny in this movie and he's not a funny
person you know in person he's not funny.
Of Owl My Groin fame.
That's why it's funny to see him hit.
When you stick your hand in a pile of goo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That he's.
Oh he's so good in Doctor Strangelove.
He's perfect.
It's the same way like Robert Stack is perfect in Airplane.
He's a serious actor.
And I think.
I could be remembering this wrong.
But Kubrick intentionally told him to, like, play it up.
We won't use these takes.
Just have fun with it.
And he used all the takes that Dorsey Scott was just going crazy in.
That is a story, yeah.
But he's so awesome.
They're like, ah, the Ruski, and oh, they can't think of something like this.
And Krusty would basically play him in Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming.
That's true.
Yeah, he's the same.
I cannot suggest Strange Love enough. That's true. Yeah, he's the same. I cannot suggest
Strange Love Enough.
It's so great.
And also that Slim Pickens
was playing it straight too
that they said
as King Kong
was his character.
I don't know Slim Pickens
from anything other than this
in Blazing Saddles.
Well, he was just a guy
who was in dozens of Westerns.
He was like,
you're the Western character actor.
That's why they cast him too.
But he's the embodiment
of that archetype for me. Totally. And like rich Texan kind of guy. Yeah, he's awesome ah you're the western character actor that's why they but he's the embodiment of that archetype for me totally like rich texan kind of yeah he's awesome and i also think because he
is that guy and james earl jones in that movie a young james earl jones is one of the pilots in
the plane yeah i think he's probably one of the only people still alive from that film he has to
be and then originally in that film it ended with a pie fight in the war room which they cut it's on
youtube it's so great Because there's a joke
of the president going down and getting
shot and they're like well this isn't so funny
after the assassination of Kennedy
months earlier.
But here's a Dr. Strangelove reference which
leads into another thing.
Take that
Maynard G. Krebs!
See this sign?
That was an atomic bomb built to be dropped on beatniks,
and Homer says, take that, Maynard G. Krebs, which is Bob Denver Gilligan's character on Dobie Gillis,
who was the model for Shaggy on Scooby-Doo.
That's true.
Which wasn't a real beatnik.
He was a parody of beatniks.
He's not, but the last remnant you have of beatniks from the 50s is Shaggy, who looks the same in 2017.
I gotta say, watch the Roger Corman movie Bucket of Blood.
It is a movie of that era that is a horror movie with Beatniks in it.
It's a Beatnik-based horror movie.
It is a Roger Corman movie, so it's not that great, but it's a lot of fun.
All starring Ned's parents and their friends.
Yes, and you hear a lot of bad beat poetry.
Yeah, let's parody it in this episode.
What I got to say, I think the Rap Master 2000, it's funny in a way, but it was a lame joke that was dated them.
It's a very lame joke.
Yeah, I was like, why do people think he's Hammer?
He's a big, fat, white guy.
Yeah, and Hammer wasn't cool to think of in 98 anyway.
No, not in 93.
Just watching, it's like, so the writers don't like this music
and think fans of it are so undiscerning.
Maybe that's it.
They could mistake it for anything else.
They're poom, poom, poom.
Yeah.
Bart, give me that megaphone of yours.
It's not just a megaphone, Dad.
It's a Ratmaster 2000.
Never mind the commercial.
Just give it to me.
I do like it.
I've got to whip this neighborhood into shape.
Move along there. I was capturing this in front of our other LaserTime team,
and with no sound, it's still hilarious to look at. because that motorcycle sidecar is like that just doesn't exist whatever whatever dancing is really funny
it's it's great animation of them they're what they're chasing after him but also dancing at
the same gym reared an episode by the way at the same speed and like we just i just you know
fucking obsessing over the idea of like phil hartman characters standing around not saying
anything they just designed
all new characters for the sequence
and they all look like they're ripped from Do the Bartman.
I couldn't confirm that.
But they're very evocative
of the era, more so than any other resident
of Springfield. I love that they immediately
embrace Jimbo. They hurt
innocent people, but when they find somebody who actually
is a hoodlum, they embrace
him. Because he idolizes them.
Hey, you're that drunken
posse. Wow.
Can I join you?
I don't know. Can you swing a sack of
doorknobs? Can I?
You're in. Here's the sack.
But you gotta supply your own knobs.
That was almost my line of the show.
I do love the mission statement of
the vigilante group.
Push people around.
Make ourselves feel big.
Well, so then came a reference that I didn't ever know was a reference until now from doing the research.
Is that so at the dinner table where they're explaining what they do and Lisa says, who will police the police?
Who will watch the Watchmen?
Homer.
Homer says, ask for your grandma.
Like, your car flipped over and ask for your grandma.
She shouldn't have mouthed off like that.
That's a funny line as it is.
But it is the plot of a Flannery O'Connor short story.
A very dark one.
A very dark one called A Good Man is Hard to Find.
The short version is a family, their horrible grandmother who's very annoying
they go they go on a trip she smuggles her cat into the car the the cat jumps out of nowhere
they crash the car and the car stops to help them it's a hearse i believe it is a hearse
and guys get out and they realize it is this guy called the misfit who has been murdering people
all around town and the grandma says oh my god you're the misfit and then he says well she now
i know she knows it's me so i have to kill all of you and the book the story ends with the entire
family including children taken to the woods and murdered. It is a great short story.
Spoilers, they all die.
A good man is hard to find.
See, I couldn't...
One of my favorite lines
was just them going about
their vigilante business.
No burning leaves without a permit.
I got one.
Too late.
I got one.
You see that with awful corrupt regimes like,
I can't do this long.
Too late.
Or you can't fly over here.
Yes, we can.
You can't bring a computer.
Well, we already blew up this thing.
Too late.
Sorry.
Too late.
You're in jail.
Too late.
And I like that Homer self-identifies as a mob.
It's a bully.
He says, the mob has many other plans.
This is one of my favorite lines. He's on bully. He says, the mob has many other plans, Lisa.
This is one of my favorite lines when he's on Smartline with Ken Brossman.
I love this whole sequence. It's so good.
Mr. Simpson, how do you respond
to the charge that petty vandalism, such as
graffiti, is down 80%
while heavy sack beatings are up
a shocking 900%?
Oh, people can come up with statistics to
prove anything, Kent.
40% of all people know that.
I see. Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been causing more crimes
than it's been preventing?
Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said
my men weren't committing crimes.
Touche.
Touche.
Perfect beef.
It's great. I mean, I don't care much for the 40 joke. I feel beef it's great
I mean I don't care much
for the forfty joke
I feel like it's one of those
what's the number for 911
style jokes
I do just because
I'm an avid watcher
of shitty pundits
and like there's
let's just say
some guy with a
Greek last name
that's also Milo
it's just fact
here's a statistic
I'm pulling out of my ass that doesn't apply to
what i'm talking about but you can't fact check it on the air therefore it's true you can't stop
this entire conversation to fact we can do it afterwards but by then the damage is done look
at the slices of this pie chart and yeah it's yes and like and kent brogdon's like yeah i just got
steamroll i got steamrolled by this dumb fact that doesn't apply. It's true, but it also just works in a post-fact world.
But I just love the saying of, like, I'd be lying.
That is my line of show.
I mean, we're all writers, and I've done it for years.
I can take facts and make them sound any way I want,
and I can phrase them in a certain way where they're inarguable.
But this whole smart light sequence is the best.
It's so good.
It's one of my favorites ever.
I love this.
Well, it looks like we have our first caller.
And I mean ever, because this is not a call-in show.
Hello, you're on the air.
Hello, Kent.
Hello, Homer.
My arch nemesis.
Yellow.
You do realize who this is?
Marge?
No, Homer, I'm not your wife.
Although, I do enjoy her pearls.
As a matter of fact, I'm holding them right now.
Listen.
Why, you monster!
And you have my daughter's saxophone, too!
Homer!
Homer!
That's our stage manager!
Poor guy.
You know, Homer's yellow. I remember that from the Simpsons arcade game. Homer! It's our stage manager! Poor guy.
You know, Homer's yellow.
I remember that from the Simpsons arcade game.
That's what Homer is saying on his little profile screen.
Yellow.
I always said yellow on phones many times because Homer showed me to. I said embrace nothingness, which is Lisa's catchphrase from the arcade game.
And then Homer even tries to throw the commercial break.
We'll be right back.
I get to say that.
But Malloy announces he's going to steal the world's largest cubic zirconia,
which, if you don't get the joke, cubic zirconias are man-made.
They are synthetic false diamonds.
And that's also why they...
The opposite of precious earth stones.
While they are pretty, they have much less worth because anyone can make them.
And so there is no world's largest one.
You make it as big as you can and then someone can make a bigger one.
I feel like the early 90s were a good time for this because I remember watching a lot
of QVC, Quality Value Channel, growing up and they would always have diamondique.
Diamondique.
It was another synthetic diamond.
I don't know if people still care about synthetic diamonds well if you should never buy a real diamond by the way
that industry is fucked up yeah i'd rather get something fake and somebody's like well that's
not almost worthless yes yes how many fingers were cut off because this person didn't deliver
the diamond fast enough blood diamonds are a real thing the beers doesn't want you to know about
them but they're a real deal i'd i would rather have somebody say like yeah this is fake you can't even cut glass like yeah no children died for this
i think i think buying jewelry is stupid anyway personally but uh i though that's maybe just
because i don't like the feel of things on my fingers or my neck yeah no way but but are old
people useless son we want to help you catch that plug ugly Yeg.
Dad, the best way for you to help is to set a good example.
Just stand around and don't steal anything.
He immediately steals.
We're on a break.
We're on a break.
I love how Apeis is the term Yeg, which is an old-timey term for a safecracker or a burglar.
Yegmen.
Y-E-G-G, Yeg. I wonder if that is either, I mean, that could definitely be Schwarzwalder.
That's totally Schwarzwalder, yeah.
That could be O-N-S, O-N-W as well.
I'm pretty sure Yeg shows up in a Schwarzwalder book at some point.
It's just, I don't know.
I want to show you later in the show how you can,
I give the Simpsons writers a lot of credit for having all these weird,
old-timey words, but I want to show you where they might have gotten them from
but
then we have a Dragnet reference
like three episodes after
yeah
any sign of the burglar yet?
it's his job
he's a burglar
just nodding for 30 seconds.
I feel, again, if I didn't say it in the last episode,
I feel fortunate enough to get this.
Because Dragnet, in terms of pop culture in 94,
was one of the most successful things ever invented by human beings.
It ran for a long time.
It started in radio.
It has multiple television variations.
A full-length, feature-length movie starring Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd.
And a classic rap.
Yes.
Steady a crime.
And this is when we found out Homer's canonical age to this point.
He is 36.
He says 36 years ago, someone gave birth to him.
I was going to say that.
Chris, you are officially now older than Homer Simpson.
That's really weird.
Well, as Marge, canonically, it actually works both
ways, that Marge will later
correct Homer that he's 38.
Right. So Homer just might
not, like, Homer is stupid enough to have his
age wrong, so he might actually be
38, but at least...
If every episode of The Simpsons is a day,
that at all. Oh, Homer actually died in the first
episode, and this is all a dream. I read it on the internet.
And I think, for as bad as the
Kill the Alligator and Run episode is,
it cemented Homer's official age from
that point on as 42, which feels
like a much better age frame than 36.
As I'm speaking as a 34-year-old man.
You want to think that now.
But as an unqualified parent
who's your age right now,
three kids, Homer makes a lot more sense.
Yeah, it's true.
I would be drinking quite a lot, even with teens.
And TV would be your best friend.
Yeah.
I wouldn't be asleep at the Switch.
I wasn't asleep.
I was drunk.
I believe you, Dad.
So if all the crime somewhere commits, he gets drunk with minors.
That's pretty bad.
Yeah.
Shugging contest.
Yeah. Shugging contest. Yeah. And I don't believe you have it, but I do love the line of Jimbo so much of like, I don't believe in nothing no more.
I'm going to law school.
No.
No.
Which Jimbo doesn't do.
If I haven't told you, my dad is a lawyer, his brother is a lawyer, the family are lawyers.
They all quit that profession and kind of told me not to do it.
Conversely, all the people I grew up with went to law school in their mid-30s.
Just what the fuck else are you supposed to do?
You get a loan, you go to law school.
I will take on six figures of debt to be a lawyer maybe.
Exactly what several of my friends did.
Law school is very expensive.
I also like that Barney was part of the mob and even saying,
Go home, Samson!
As he leaves his house.
He's in front of his home.
Yeah, another old-timey reference when Grandpa makes his way into the house covered in shit.
Oh, I love all of this.
Oh, Grandpa, they pelted you too?
No, actually, I fell down at the big boy.
Son, I've come to help you i know who the cat
burglar is what oh huh what well well well before i was too old and no one wanted my help suddenly
look who comes to old grandpa wait where you going come I'll tell you. He was right under my nose the whole time.
He lives in my retirement home.
His name is Malloy.
So it's like there's so many great things about sneakers for sneaking.
And unlike most retired people, he had the world's largest cubic zirconium on his coffee table.
There's so many great things about this scene. The big boy, if I have to say it,
only because I saw 700 local news pieces
about how the last big boy is closing.
And they're still open.
And a big boy is marked by what's essentially Lard Lad.
It is a giant fat mascot
that has a statue in front of every restaurant.
Based on an actual big boy.
Yeah.
Yes. But he looks exactly like Lard Lad except he's not holding any a donut or anything he's
holding like a platter right yeah i think he is in some of them but sometimes he's just doing like
a fucking shuriken in the air um and and i just love when he's doing that that joke works visually
because of how fast the camera pans out to show the family has been, was walking away. And it's,
it's just,
it's a little thing,
but it's like,
yeah,
that's why you could,
you couldn't do it with live action.
You wouldn't be able to hide that joke from people.
Oh yeah.
That is so great.
They just walking away.
I feel like his whole explanation scene is a parody of Matlock of just like,
yeah,
explain everything.
It's his beloved Matlock.
And he could have just said the last thing first,
like,
oh,
he had the thing that was stolen
Then that's how he found out
I put the clues together
But again it all gets even better for Chris personally
Because it relies more on Springfield
The resident of Springfield doing the right thing
Which they can't possibly do
So Mr. Malloy
It seems that the cat
Has been caught by the very person
That was trying to catch him.
Oh, ironic.
Homer, old chap, well done.
If anyone was going to catch me, I'm glad it was you.
Actually, it wasn't me.
It was my dad.
Grandpa.
Thanks, son.
So you see, old people aren't so useless after all.
Malloy's old and he outsmarted a lot of you.
And I'm even older and I outsmarted him.
Shut up.
I've had my moment.
It's immediately taken from him.
It's like five seconds to gloat and it's taken away from him.
And Mo's my favorite mob member all the time.
So just like in the Pink Panther, he steals a valuable gem.
But also in the Pink Panther, he is intentionally caught to escape later.
So he is totally Niven from the Pink Panther.
But there's the misdirect of him apologizing to everyone.
Wiggum coming as the buzzkill.
As a kid, I really did think they were going to let him go.
We did almost miss that Selma has a lock.
Sorry, a ball
of Richard Dean Anderson hair.
Who knows how she got it?
I like that she keeps
that ball the same
like Marge's ball
of Bouvier heirlooms.
That's true.
The Bouvier's like
to keep things in balls.
But Selma is the gay
one of the twins, correct?
No, no, Patty.
Patty, oh yeah, right.
And I collect celery
that has been in
MacGruber's ass.
Exclusively.
Watch that movie, people.
It's fucking great.
But Wiggum comes in to be a buzzkill.
And although I have stolen your material goods, let me assure you.
Dad, you got it back just like you said you would.
I sincerely regret any inconvenience I may have caused.
And although I have stolen your material goods, let me assure you that your dear town has stolen my heart.
Oh, he's so charming.
Let's let him go!
Oh, sorry, folks. Gee, I really hate to spoil this little love-in, but Mr. Malloy broke the law.
And when you break the law, you gotta go to jail.
Oh, that reminds me. Here's your monthly kickback.
When you really care
about someone, you shout it from
the mountaintops. So on behalf of
Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing
20,000 feet above sea level to tell our
clients that we really care about you.
We care about you.
Home and auto insurance personalized
to your needs. Weird,
I don't remember saying that part.
Visit DesjDen.com
slash care and get insurance that's
really big on care.
Did I mention that we care?
You just, you couldn't have picked
the worst time.
I do feel like that is Merkin going against the
of the time sitcom convention of everyone says
ah and the episode ends and it's all resolved.
Yeah, like very full
housey which is still on at the air at this time barney let's let him go yeah let's just know
barney yeah that's what should happen i just love how he says that it almost sounds like like peewee
herman in the tequila bar and wigum still takes the kickback and puts it in his shirt like he's
like well it's embarrassing but i still keep this money take my bribe and then we roll into uh
homer goes to the jail cell just to mock him.
Yeah, let's hear that.
I suppose you're wondering where I hid all the millions of dollars that I stole over the years.
Shut up!
All right, wait a minute.
Maybe we should hear him out.
Where'd you hide the loot, Malloy?
It's buried right here in Springfield, under a big T.
No kidding.
Big T, huh? tea no kidding big tea huh well i guess i'll be going to my home now and sleep yeah me too
i will also go home or sleep this is so fucking i i don't know why i love this so much i love this
uh i mean it's indulgent to the extreme yeah i do kind of refuse to watch It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.
Oh my god, really?
Because it seems like a three plus hour comedy that would be unbearable.
It is unbearable, but like, you know one of my favorite comedies the last couple years?
This is the end.
I see.
And it's...
You know, it's kind of similar.
It's not amazing, but it's just like it has a ton of funny people in it for four seconds who get killed.
Or, like, just show up for a second and do something funny and leave.
Well, I will say that I have seen the 2001 movie Rat Race, which ends with what I call a smash mouth ex machina to wrap up the story.
It is the only time in a movie you'll hear the line of dialogue wow smash mouth
that will never happen again
so this movie can never
top rat race there is a scene in rat race where
John Lovitz makes his daughter shit out of
van window and she's screaming at
the top of her lungs while they fly down the street
and like that is undeniably
funny for this terrible film maybe 10 good
minutes of rat race
the smash mouth finale nothing can stop it.
Mad, mad, mad, mad world.
Four mads.
It is...
Everybody, everybody is dead.
Even the...
Everybody.
The Three Stooges were there,
dying on screen.
They're dying on screen.
Jonathan Winters is in it.
W.C. Fields.
W.C. Fields is in it.
Jimmy Durante is dying on screen.
Don Knotts.
Don Knotts is in it, not credited in the fucking trailer. He. Fields W.C. Fields isn't it Jimmy Durante is dying on screen Don Knotts Don Knotts isn't it
not credited in the fucking trailer
he was a surprise
Ethel Merman
Red Skelton
it's crazy
so it's
again if these names don't ring a bell
duh
but like it was
every famous comedian
in this giant long
overly indulgent comedy
all to just have scenes with each other
to be funny
yeah
so
like this episode
made me watch Strangelove, I rented
Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World
almost immediately after seeing this episode.
On two VHS tapes. Two VHS tapes.
Now as a film
fan, I'm actually mad I saw it that way
because it's filmed in CinemaScope
which means extra, extra
widescreen. It's 2.35 to 1, right?
Yeah. It sucks. It's such a35 to 1, right? It sucks.
It's such a weird juxtaposition.
There are so many practical effects
of people nearly getting hurt
in great camera shots.
And then it cuts to
blue screen of celebrities in vehicles
that looks totally unconvincing and terrible.
There's multiple like that.
This was the era where it's like
movies have to compete with TV,
so this is going to be a long-ass movie
in CinemaScope
with everyone you've ever heard about every expensive thing you can be well
the 60s in american cinema were defined by not knowing what the fuck to do against television
and the director the directors of the 70s haven't started yet so they're just like
let's make paint your wagon let's make then, like, when you talk about throwing ideas at the wall, this is every idea and every person.
Pretty much, yeah.
But it's full of so many hilarious scenes.
Jonathan Winter's destroying the garage.
It looks expensive.
And, oh, the big T is the big W.
Yeah.
A Jimmy Durante dies in the start of the film, and he tells them, like, I buried all my money under a big W.
And these few
people who saw him die,
they know where it is. And they're all
like, we gotta get to this W first
in Hollywood and get that money.
And as they go,
then more people start finding out
until a bigger and bigger mob.
But what they don't do is immediately shout out
everybody! It's under a big W! Spencer Tracy's out until a bigger and bigger mob but what they don't do is immediately shout out everybody it's
under a big w yeah but it's the secret spencer tracy i gotta i gotta show you a bit from the
trail because yeah there's so many people in this movie from four continents history airlines jet
lands in los angeles launching the biggest entertainment airlift in motion picture history
the world's press some 300 newsmen from four continents arrive for the
hollywood premiere of stanley kramer's there was a certain amount of money buried down in this park
now i suggest that we quietly get into our cars and then when we get down there we dig up the
money providing that there is some money there there's only only one way to figure it, and that is every man for himself.
That's a bunch of people running off to their own cars to race for the money.
Spoken by Buddy Hackett, who we didn't even mention, and Mickey Rooney, who are also in the fucking film.
And Milton Berle.
And Milton Berle. It's crazy.
Every human.
This episode uses the music from the movie directly.
It's not a sound like they actually use the theme or whatever song.
I love Beautiful.
I give the Simpsons writers a ton of credit for coming up with these old timey words I don't know.
But remember they grew up with this trailer.
And so like they grew up with this movie.
They grew up in this time.
And so like this is a hyper indulgent.
I love old film trailers, but it's like four and a half minutes long.
And half of it is screaming out quotes from publications who I think have been dead for almost a hundred years.
Let's see.
But this is my favorite one.
Wild and hilarious all the way.
It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world is everything its extravagant title suggests, says the New York Times.
A wham-doodle humdinger stemwinder, said the New York World Telegram and Sun.
So the New York World Telegram and Sun,
which sounds like the result of 700 mergers,
called this movie a wham-doodle humdinger stemwinder.
It's a contrabulous fabtrap, Jim.
I have to hear this again it makes me so happy
New York time a wham doodle humdinger
stem winder
I would not like my stem winder tonight
I'm sorry
that sequence over this bit is
from the destruction of the
garage and it was something too
that I loved as a kid seeing that
Phil Silvers is in it and I'll get to Phil Silvers in a
second but Phil Silvers is in it now i'll get to phil silvers in a second but phil silvers is top cat stole phil silvers like top cat is sergeant bilko 100
and including his sidekicks the guys who voice his sidekicks two of them are the
attendants at the place and i just as a kid heard like hey wait that's the that's the pudgy cat who's with
you have the basis and the ripoffs doing scenes with one another yes it's beautiful like I I
always found this hilarious Bill Silver's is so fun before I knew the source material this is
like in the middle of the sequence it's just Bart waving to a guy freaking out in the car
great animation on this too yeah what's the matter with you kid
you told me the stream was shallow why are you hey
so this is the most direct reference i have that scene i have the scene i got the scene i got the
scene as well but it's just of, it's a fucking 1950s movie,
so this sequence takes like 45 minutes to occur.
It's no Aquacar.
But it's a kid coaxing a guy like,
yeah, it's shallow enough, just drive across.
And it's Phil Silvers.
And hearing this right after watching this
made me laugh for like two fucking hours.
It's too deep! It's too deep it's too deep your
little rat thing why didn't you tell me it was deep why do i don't stand i get somebody don't
this is no place for a conveyor belt it's no place for a conveyor belt he's saying that right to the
camera and i mean i was watching this episode with good headphones on for once, and the music is just delightful.
It's just so great.
Phil Silvers, he's the best, he's the sketchiest guy in the group.
He finds Jonathan Winters, who then tells him about the Big W, and so then all he does is trick multiple people into like,
oh, well, of course, we'll work together to get that money.
Hey, would you just throw your bike over there real quick,
and then you can get in the car.
He has just basically killed Don Knotts.
Yes, he's like, Don Knotts, do you see that?
It's a police helicopter.
Of course, that's what they use.
What do you mean, they?
What do you mean, they?
They're great together, too.
It's amazing.
It's a little slice of wonderful, and I don't know.
I'm happy to bring it up, because if you give a fuck about old Hollywood or famous comedians before we were born, this is the most of them that have ever been assembled.
Maybe I will watch it.
And then Ethel Merman is really funny.
Get really high.
Just do that.
When I was reading about this on Wikipedia, I was like, I feel bad I never watch this.
And I was like, original cut was 210 minutes?
Dear Lord.
Yes.
That's like almost four hours.
I remember.
There's an intermission.
I would use it a lot. There better be. And what was that version of charades we'd play in a pool where
we have to give an abbreviation of the name oh no you'll never get this uh it's six m's in a row
so and they draw in the characters you will see milton burl in the background you will see buddy
hackett you'll see phil silvers even after he drowned you'll see phil
silvers looking at the camera and smiling behind homer and as well as lionel hutz who never talks
that's true and then at the ending i always well i don't i wonder if you got the clip but i always
think of this line it's just a piece of paper it's mine rightfully sorry but there is no hidden
treasure i have already used this time to escape from your
jail bondus wishes we can't make out the signature keep digging we're bound to find something
dig up stupid i'm sure stupid is my favorite it is it is a great way to explain getting out of a
problem the wrong way thinking like boy i really dug a hole for myself. How do I get out? Dig up, stupid.
Meaning, make more mistakes.
Keep digging that hole.
Start your own Patreon.
You'll end up digging your way out.
It's funny to see Marge's in that hole because I feel like she would be sensible enough to say, let's stop this.
That was my exact note, too.
That 10 feet in, she would have said, okay, it's not there.
But I like it.
It's a very good idea.
Every single Springfieldian being as stupid as the next.
Yeah.
It's great.
And they're all going there in different ways.
Like Barney is in a biplane with Patty and Selma, which is great.
That's all the conveyances are from it, too.
The motorcycle with the sidecar, the plane.
That was fun, right?
Yeah.
All the stuff is in there.
I'm telling you, it's a great movie.
Maybe I will eventually see it.
I am not vouching for it on that.
Well, I'm not going to say great.
Good movie.
But Bob will have a blast with it.
I'm not recommending it.
I have to set aside an entire afternoon to watch it.
No, you care because you know who these people are.
Oh, yeah.
I know who all of them are.
I don't know if there's been a film that assembled this many people.
Rat Race, once again.
Again, it's seven.
It's seven people.
Yeah, that's true.
Around John Cleese.
That is true.
He's in that movie.
No movie has spent as much money on getting all these comedians in one place.
Yeah, it's insane.
And it's a swan song for some of them.
Yeah, this is a fun, goofy episode.
And for some reason, going into this, I felt like the Mad, Mad, Mad mad mad world stuff was a huge part of it but going back
I was like no it's like a minute. It's a minute of this
episode. It's so powerful at the
end. But on the
dragnet ending from Marge and the Lamb it is
the more indulgent of the
parodies. It is. Especially because like I didn't
fucking get this when I saw it on TV.
It made no sense to me as a 10 year old
but or 11 year old at this point
if you're following Henry's age along with the show.
It was still funny, though.
Yeah, it was.
It still came off as a wham-doodle-humdinger.
A real stem twister.
A stem wunker.
This is a very hilarious episode that, if you wanted to pick apart the story, it kind of falls apart in the third act.
It kind of doesn't really track super well.
But who cares?
It works really well as a cartoon.
It's so fucking funny. Yeah, they're having more fun, I think, with just kind of being all over the place well. Yeah, but who cares? It works really well as a cartoon. It's so fucking funny.
Yeah, they're having more fun, I think, with just kind of being all over the place but still telling really good jokes.
I really like this episode.
Want more?
Like it.
So thank you so much for listening.
I have been your host for this episode of Talking Simpsons.
My name is Bob Mackie.
You can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo, B-O-B-S-E-R-V-O.
I also write about video games and occasionally anime for fandom at fandom.com.
And I also do a comedy article
every other Thursday for somethingawful.com.
And my other podcast is
Retronauts every Monday at retronauts.com
or just search for Retronauts in your
podcast machine. Every week we bring
you a new episode about classic games
if you want to get into the podcast. Think of a game
that you like. We've probably done an episode about it.
And listen to that episode and I guarantee you will like it,
especially if it's our Bart versus the Space Mutants episode
or our Celebrity Games episode
where Chris and Henry are both on it
doing our regular goof-em-ups
as we usually do in Talking Simpsons.
Anybody else?
What do you do?
H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on Twitter
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this show exists because of the success of patreon and as i say every time and you gotta hear it
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All yours for just $5 a month along with hundreds of hours of more content.
That's very nice of Henry because he doesn't receive any of the Patreon money.
It's me and the other guys, but it helps keep the equipment, the hosting up.
This studio exists because of that.
It is, and if you feel like it's not your responsibility,
a lot of people feel that way.
And it's gotta be someone's responsibility of people feel that way and it's got to be
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you can find a bunch of more stuff there and on lasertimepodcast.com if you like how deep a dive
we take in some of the jokes laser time, we recently examined who was the tallest movie monster.
We looked at the entire history of the Power Rangers,
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If you look at LazerTimePodcast.com,
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Do you not like Five Nights at Freddy's, Big Bang Theory, and Madea movies?
I don't know them either, but we all quizzed ourselves by how little we know about these
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Awesome.
Well, thank you so much for listening.
We'll be back next week when Bart visits the box factory, everybody.
See you then.
Oh, my God.
My show's a box. Wow.
Infotainment.