Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Homer Vs. Lisa And The 8th Commandment

Episode Date: January 13, 2016

At the same time as Homer finds a way to get cable for free (aka stealing), Lisa learns all about damnation, leading to a battle of wills. Also, TROY MCCLURE is here! You may remember him…

This week's episode of Talking Simpsons is brought to you by Geek Fuel. Go to geekfuel.com slash lasertime to sign up for a box of geeky goodies sent to you directly. And if you sign up through geekfuel.com slash lasertime, you will get an exclusive Star Wars item worth $20 added to your first box! Ahoy, hoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, where maggots are our sheets and worms are our blankets, because we're in hell! This is the Laser Time Podcast Network's chronological Simpsons companion. I am your host bob mackie as always who else is here today chris antistone the hellbound henry gilbert and i'm dave rudden carver of graven images awesome i'm anti-christ antistone that's that's better that's better that's a twitter name if there ever was one and today's episode is all about homer versus lisa and the eighth commandment which

aired on february 7th 1991 this is the whole stealing cable episode but chris what happened on this air date in history february 7th 1991 oh my god oh boy bobby make room for danny th Thomas is dead at 77. Whitney Houston's Super Bowl rendition of the Star Spangled Banner is a hot radio demand. And Cher performs a one-night-only concert at the Mirage Casino. And George H.W. Bush swears to not bomb Iraqi schools and hospitals during the currently raging Gulf War.

What a stand-up guy. I guess he didn't because we never went there. He never really went there. If I could turn back time, baby. Perfect. I think there was an urban legend about Danny Thomas who no one knows who that is. Is he on the first table? Exactly.

Okay, the only reason I know about this is because it was a joke on Ren and Stimpy. But Danny Thomas apparently liked to sit under glass tables while sex workers would shit on them. I thought that was like Chubby Checker or something. Maybe it was just a common thing amongst celebrities. It is absolutely a Danny Thomas thing. You might be thinking of Chuck Berry's love of farting on people. Maybe I am. And putting cameras in bathrooms.

The fact that that's all I know about him really sucks for him, doesn't it? He was also a musical performer. That's his legacy. I just remember Make Room for Danny or Daddy on Nick at Night. I think the name switched back and forth. I can't remember. I grew up on Nick at Night. Sorry.

Yeah, so did I. Well, speaking of cable. Yes, this episode, and I want to start this off with this episode explores the moral consequences of stealing cable. We are 25 years after this episode has aired. I do want to talk about the value of cable today. Here's what happened to me. Short story. My cable bill went up.

I didn't know why. the value of cable today. Here's what happened to me. Short story. My cable bill went up. I didn't know why. I called the cable company. They said, your bill will go down if you get internet and cable TV. So I only had internet before. So cable is worth negative dollars now. It actually, subscribing to cable may make cable bill go down. So there you go. Because they'd rather have the exact same thing happen to me too.

Because they would rather have a subscriber for losing money so the subscriber numbers don't go down. Exactly. Our generation is cutting the cord, man. Cable is the new magazine. Exactly. Okay, does everyone in this room still have cable? I want to know. I only have it because of that same deal.

Okay, yeah. Technically, I do, but I never watch it. I have not really watched cable outside of my parents' house since 2007, I think. That cable box is still in my closet, like, packed up in a way. I never watch it. I have not really watched cable outside of my parents' house since 2007, I think. That cable box is still in my closet like packed up in a way. I never watch it. We have standard definition cable. Oh, shit.

I never watch, yeah. They sent me a box and there was no HDMI out port. It was like, here's your composite. We never asked. We don't care. Though, did any of you steal cable

when you were younger? No. No, I think it was just you, Dave. Just me. Just me and the... You're one of those families, eh? Yeah. The On the Lamb Ruddens.

I host a wrestling podcast, and a large part of that was that I had access to WWF and WCW shows for quite a number of years. You watch pay-per-views all the time for free. And now, I mean, everyone does because it's $10 a month. I watched my first pay-per-view with cable blocks. So this episode is all about the magic of cable This new entity That was actually probably 10, 12 years old By this point maybe I think it was the late 70s

Early 80s thing Yeah but it's still In its infancy By all its descriptions Oh yeah It all seems like Huge parallels to Internet content

As it comes up Right Because clearly people Watch anything Why don't we all Play a video game And expect people to watch We'll make millions

Well a lot of this episode Can I play the biblical intro Yes I do love that Hey good evening Play a video game and expect people to watch. We'll make millions. Well, a lot of this episode... Can I play the biblical intro? Yes. I do love that. Hey, good evening. How's Ron, carver of graven images? Ah, good evening, Homer the Thief.

How is business? Been a little slow these past few months. Not much to steal in the desert, you know. Ah, do not worry, my friend. I figure we'll be wandering out here another two weeks tops. Hey, good evening, Zohar the Adulterer. My wife sends her warmest regards. Oh yes, she's a good woman.

Very good. Thank you my lusty friend. Zohar in that scene is patterned after Jacques from the bowling episode. He looks just like Jacques, but Homer, yeah, so Homer's always been a thief I guess. He's always been an urchin, a leech.

I didn't go to any church as a kid, so I didn't know this Exodus reference as a child. I love this. The first appearance of one of my favorite people ever, RIP Phil Hartman as Moses! The Lord has handed down to us ten commandments by which to live.

I will now read them in no particular order. Thou shalt not make any graven images Oh my god Thou shalt not commit adultery Ah well, looks like the party's over I do like that I will read them in no particular order line Because there are only some of the commandments represented by people there

Not all of them So he has to do the ones represented by people Bartholomew, you head of coveting So he has to do the ones represented by people. Bartholomew, head of coveting. I think it was also a joke that he says, the guy who makes graven images that are things you put before God says, oh my God. Oh, right, yeah.

Oh man, I missed that. And I don't think Hartman is doing he can do a Charlton Heston but I don't think that's his Heston. It's not his Heston. Yeah, it's weird. This episode has so much Hartman. I mean, he can do a Charlton Heston, but I don't think that's his Heston. It's not his Heston, yeah, that's weird. This episode has so much Hartman. I mean, he does Heston in the film festival.

In what? In the Springfield Film Festival. Yes, truly are the king of kings. Oh, right. And he's played as Troy McClure played him in Planet of the Apes. I love that sketch, because, oh no, that's regular Charlton Heston. It's Rob Schneider, who does an awesome Edward G. Robinson. I didn't know that. It's the first time Charlton Heston it's Rob Schneider who does an awesome Edward G. Robinson I didn't know that

Moses yeah it's the first time I've ever heard awesome and Rob Schneider it's great Rob Schneider and SNL good shit

is Peter Lorre for the 20,000 leagues under the sea sketch brilliant forgot about that that was good so um this was Homer's dream

and he is woken up by Flanders berating a cable guy or rather like what is this guy's profession? Is he like a legit cable guy that will also sell you the fake stuff? Having a stupid story from the Christmas

break, some guy came out to install cable in my sister's room who was recovering from an operation and he came out there, I don't have the right equipment, I have to come back another day because they won't let me work on it and he comes back the next day and he drills and he has this guy with him. He's like, can we get the cable box?

He's like, they closed out the order for that yesterday and you have to open up another order. And then eventually we're like, my dad wants to scream. And I'm like, you know Comcast. Oh, I just said their name. You know Comcast sucks. You know his life sucks. You know he's not making these decisions. And he eventually says, look, I don't work for Comcast.

Yes, it says it on my shirts, my hat, and my pants. I'm a third party person. I don't work for Comcast. Yes, it says it on my shirts, my hat, and my pants. I'm a third-party person. I don't have authority to do anything. He has no loyalty either, right? He has no loyalty either. So I'm getting we could have probably passed him some money like this fellow. I should box your ears, you sneaky Pete. Is it, Dagger?

Hey, you're busy. Now get off my property. Off. Hey, Flanders, who put that bug up your butt? Oh, I wanted to subscribe to that new arts and crafts channel. Well, sir, they send over this Flim Flam man to install it. You know what he did? He offered to hook me up illegally to every cable channel for only 50 bucks.

Boy, what's this world coming to? You know, that's exactly what I... Gotta go! Pools! North by Northwest. Stop! What do you want? I want free cable! Weird that the Flangers

is threatening violence. Yeah, yeah. Well, he said, box your ears. It sounds violent, right? I have no idea what that is. I guess I don't either. I thought it was just slipping your ears.

Slap someone in the ear maybe? Something like that. Think back to a time when I want one extra channel, so I will come here and turn a dial with my secret cable box. Not to be overly boring about cable. It's just like the original cable line was a vomit of every cable channel, and it was all about what Comcast installed in your house, and that's where it was blocked.

So you can't do this today. You can't receive every cable channel. It's the idea that it was Comcast vomiting it out, every channel, and some guy with his ass crack hanging out would figure out which to block by what connector. Exactly, and now cable companies can tell your PS3, oh, don't play that, or your computer. Which mine does.

Exactly. You can't watch Fargo season two. You don't play that yes or your computer like mine does exactly and it's funny watch fargo you can watch that oscar screener it's funny that 25 years later this this episode is asking us to sympathize with cable companies and to not want to steal from them when they are the the worst entities ever next to military contractors i believe that's in the pamphlet oh yeah i believe that pamphlet okay isn't it i mean everybody does it right what oh hey if you're having second thoughts, just read this pamphlet. So you've decided to steal cable. Uh-huh.

Miss, cable piracy is wrong. Fact, cable companies are big faceless corporations, which makes it okay. I still pretty much believe this. See, the clown is a treasure that will last a lifetime. Cable, it's more wonderful than I dared hope. Home Shopping Network. Yeah. Home Shopping Network now is just for elderly people to have someone to talk to.

Yeah, I think so. That's what it is. But, okay, I think multiple jokes in this episode are just a network TV show talking about how awful programming on cable is. Exactly. But it was. Well, because they had no money. They didn't have original programming. They just got stuff from Canada or Japan or Mexico.

I mean, a lot of cable still is just crap. I feel like the early days of cable is what the internet is now. Yes, yes. Just put anything out there. Yes, one camera forever and sit there and talk until we can figure out which awful dating service to put a commercial on. Well, you read that book. I've read books about the starting up of Nickelodeon and MTV. Oh, the MTV ones are great.

And they both were just like that. They're like, we're five dudes hired and getting paid no money. Let's figure out something. To introduce bite-sized content. No original content. Bite-sized content we license from other people. And that's how Mystery Science Theater was created. It's like, we need something to fill time. This is cheap.

And we own these movies. Two fucking hours. This fills up two goddamn hours. So sure, let's do it. And I don't feel as strongly about this now, but I definitely feel like, oh, I'm ripping off a cable corporation. Who fucking cares? Yeah, watch that 30 Rock episode where he reveals, like, we actually don't make anything. It's great.

Everybody else spends millions to make it. We don't do anything. It's great. Everybody else spends millions to make it. We don't do shit. It's nice to be Cable Town. Yes, Cable Town. But yes, it takes some convincing for the family, but Homer. I don't think if I would be this upfront with telling my family that I did steal cable. They didn't need to know. I think Homer's going to be sleazy enough to steal.

He should have just been like, okay, this just happened, and let's not talk about it. Now that I think about it, I might brag about how cheap I got something. Oh, that's true. That does seem like me. Homer would be that, yeah. And I guess Marge would notice because she says we can't afford cable. Marge. Yep.

Family, come here. I have an announcement to make. The Simpsons have cable! Cable? We have cable? That's right. 68 channels. MTV for the kids.

VH1 for us, 1,600 hours of quality programming every day. Homer, we talked about cable before. You really think we can afford it? Nothing a month? Yeah, I think we can swing that. Are you sure this is legal? Don't worry, Marge.

Take a look at this. Myth. It's only fair to pay for quality first run movies. Fact. Most movies shown on cable get two stars or less and are repeated ad nauseum. Absolutely true. Marge.

Hear me roar. The Network for Women. In the next half hour, we'll show you how to cut your first aid bill in half by making your own band-aids. That is what brings the family together in this scene. I did want to ask you guys though, did you grow up before

cable entered your household and what was your reaction to when it happened? Because I remember... Nickelodeon. Nickelodeon, yeah. It was a life changer. I don't remember not having cable. Me neither. I hate to sound super privileged. But since I've moved out, moved to San Francisco, I did just get cable last year because of that deal. But since I've moved out, moved to San Francisco, I did just get cable last year because of that deal.

But before then, I'd spent four years without cable because most people were cutting their cable at that point anyway. We didn't have cable. I stole a black and white television because my parents didn't want me to have a TV in my room, and I would watch over-the-air channels. I eventually unlocked cable for my whole house. That is a whole other escapade.

My childhood was, I'm sure I watched it at my parents' house, but I just remember that I had a babysitter because both my parents worked all day, but it was this woman who babysat a dozen kids around the neighborhood, and they had cable. And it was just so magical to be like, Nickelodeon, it's Nickelodeon time, yay! Let's watch dreary British cartoons. Yeah, or they had taped off

HBO The Last Dragon, which we watched 8 million times along with Dragnet. It was Last Dragon. I only had the basic cable. 30 channels maybe? It went up to 29, which was MTV. 36 for me. I didn't get Cinemax,

I didn't get HBO, we didn't get any of those. Everything had commercials on it. Because MTV was controversial in the early 80s. They hit it at the end of the cable dial. You'll get too tired. Mine was 36. 36 was the end of the cable dial. I think ours was 18.

But I remember my sister, I was so jealous of her. She got to go to my grandma's to watch Fraggle Rock and stuff. Fraggle, I want to watch Fraggle Rock. I wish I could recapture that magic Tnt launching because there was only tbs and tbs was just like we're just everything everything that's ever been on television ted turner will buy the rights to and show here five minutes later sitcoms and old cartoons early in the morning and then they they marketed tnt as in like it was all king kong footage and they bought that muppet who'd create the explosions to yell TNT.

And they were going to... Because Fraggle Rock was cordoned off to HBO. I'd have to watch it at friends' houses. And Muppet Show. So that was like all TNT was. It was like an all Muppet and cartoon channel during the early mornings. Oh, so great.

I mean, Cable definitely shaped my love of things as a kid. Not just the later original stuff like, say, Nicktoons, but I would watch pro wrestling because that was also easy filler on cable. Make a sentence out of that, too. El mumeo lo pone en el sleeper hold. ¿Dónde están los médicos de México? Ooh, pro wrestling from Mexico. You know, down there, it's a real sport.

Not true. Phil Hartman really is getting a lot of mileage in this episode. He's 20 voices on that. Here's him on CNBC. Mr. Speaker, if I could call your attention to the retroactive subsidy appropriations override bill, I refer you to page 4,500. You must think people will watch anything. Live from New Orleans, this is the World Series of Cockfighting.

My parents had to explain to me what cockfighting was. Did you cut out, oh boy, we're going to have big fun in the bayou tonight. A lot of this episode is characters watching TV, and that is something that Matt Groening is obsessed with. He says he first saw it on 101 Dalmatians, like the Dalmatians watching TV, and that made him excited, like you can have a cartoon character watch TV. So that's why the Simpsons watch TV a lot, because Matt Groening thinks it's a fun idea. That is the first Disney movie with television in it. Wow.

And they would later reference that exact scene with the greyhounds. Oh, right, right, yeah. Get down, you. Well, and then we go to church. But by the way, the shot when they peel Homer out of the couch, they linger on it for like three seconds too long. Yeah, that's a little much. Yeah, I get it.

He left an indention. He'd been in it that long. So then it comes to the other thing we are sick of in our lives now, religion. Cable and religion. You've got no time for it. During all of this, the emblem on Reverend Lovejoy's podium and one of the commandments is basically the Twitter logo and color. Oh, yeah.

It's blue and white and a bird. But they have to they explain to bart and lisa what hell is now i don't want you to get frightened but it's my responsibility to teach you this today's topic will be hell all right i've sat through mercy and i've sat through forgiveness finally we get to the good stuff oh Oh, hell is a terrible place. Maggots are your sheet, worms your blanket. There's a lake of fire burning with sulfur. You'll be tormented day and night, forever and ever. As a matter of fact, if you actually saw hell,

you'd be so frightened you would die. Oh, Miss Albright. Yes, Bard. Wouldn't you eventually get used to it, like in a hot tub? No. Yes, Bard. Are there pirates in hell? thousands of them so excited he's been to hell though i mean come on he went to hell heavy metal music i definitely had this moment as a kid too of i never went to church except i had a friend who for about a year i would go with him to like after school

catholic stuff because my friend's gone i want to keep hanging out my friend i'll go with him to after school nintendo's and free snacks that's what the church was littered with well mine was it was more of an old school catholic thing but it was definitely where i first got introduced the idea of hell and it is terrifying to a kid because you fucking believe it like you you take it at face value. Kids really are not equipped to handle that idea. It feels borderline child abuse to tell the kids this, but it also is an easy way to just keep a kid in line.

Like, yeah, you're going to go to hell. You better not do this stuff. But I also think in at least the southern churches I've been to, they would not point you to something Old Testament like the Ten Commandments. They would say, and Jesus. And they'd make you accept Jesus as your Lord and you'd be baptized or whatever. It would go back to Jesus. It would not go back to Old Testament.

They don't want to acknowledge that? Well, it's just not as important as Christ. Christ is number one. Yeah, this is where Lisa gets her first taste of fear. It's hard to tell because it's in this kind of era where they don't want to make a statement about anything. So I'm not sure if Lisa's taking it too seriously or the show is siding with her. Because I feel like she's a little too harsh with her family about this, including a scene much later. Also, it's weird that Lisa's so religious.

Yeah. She's the smart one, so you'd think she would be skeptical about this. Exactly. By the time we get to the angel skeleton, we'll get her being the one who believes in nothing. Meanwhile, somewhere in between there is my, I'm calling this the line of the show. That's the joke. So, what did you children learn about today? I'm going to twist her mouth.

Well, that's what we learned about. As you're as hell, I can't tell you we learned about hell unless I say hell, can I? That has your point. Twister mouth. Hell. Bart! Well, that's what we learned about. As you're as hell, can't tell you we learned about hell unless I say hell, can I? That has your point. Hell, yes. Bart! Hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell, hell. Bart, you're no longer in Sunday school.

Don't swear. I love it. Is this the most Twister mouthiest scene ever? I think so. Have you ever discussed Twister mouth already? We have, yeah. It's like when the head twists past the jaw. If you watch it, you'll know.

His eyes and mouth are in the same direction. Only the kids do it, though? I think I've only seen the kids do it. The parents did it once. It's pretty much all you do with Bart. Because his head is just like a weird tuna can kind of thing. It was just one of those little visual flourishes they don't do anymore.

And then they get home, and who's on TV? Dad, are you sure this isn't stealing? Read the pamphlet, honey. Hello, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such movies as Cry Yuma and Here Comes the Coast Guard. But today I'd like to talk to you about a pleasant-tasting candy that actually cleans and straightens your teeth. Oh, goody, a program like the advertisement.

Wait a minute, Troy. I'm a little confused. It actually cleans and straightens your teeth. Oh, goody, a program like the advertisement. Wait a minute, Troy. I'm a little confused. Did you say cleans and straightens? There's no confusion, Tina. Just good science. Oh, I love that. So Troy McClure, the character,

is a combination of Troy Donahue and Doug McClure, two actors of a certain era that never did much. They weren't important to well remember. I forgot about what's the first actor? Troy Donahue. Because I went looking all over the net for clips of Doug McClure. And his hair is spot on. Oh, yeah.

His hair is absolutely spot on. But I have a clip of Doug McClure. Doug McClure lines, you will hear no Troy McClure in it. Well, I sure hate to admit it, but I guess Kelly was right. have a clip of Doug McClure. Doug McClure lines, you will hear no Troy McClure in it. That's a very attractive Mary Tyler Moore. You can't hear any of Troy McClure and Doug McClure no I think he was still alive

to be reminded by his loved ones that Simpsons is making fun of you there's a story on the commentary that he he was a watcher

of the Simpsons and then he realized they were mocking him but he was okay with it and his kids have told apparently Mike Reese

one of the producers on the show that they would call him Troy McClure behind his back that's awesome but yeah the Troy McClure is perfectly

just the I was a B-movie actor in the 50s I am meaningless now and uncastable I guess I will host us whatever you pay me to do who would be our generations Troy McClure

like someone we grew up with who is now just like Richard Greek cashing checks maybe like God what checks. Maybe like, God, what's his name? Ray Liotta. I have it actually. Who is it? I think it might be

Snoop Dogg. I'm saying anybody who's hosted Family Feud is in that position. Remember when you were a comedian and or actor? I would say Steve Harvey. When was the last time he's been noted for doing stand up embarrassing himself

on regular television that's what he does but I miss Troy McClure so much there are fewer things that make me happier than reading

a compiled list of everything Troy McClure's ever done and you can hear Phil Hartman's voice when you're reading every time and the only way

you can have more fun and I did this with the Kirby anime if you go and read you can have more fun and i did this with the uh kirby anime all right if you go and read the english translations as troy mcclure yeah it it'll give you the same kind of thrill snacky happiness it's time but he's and troy is perfect from the first moment yeah just he's and i was looking into it apparently he's voiced by dan castellanetta at some point when phil hartman is out like the next episode we're doing actually yeah because they recycle this animation i believe yeah just to have him say it oh yeah i need my teeth to look their whitest that's that you were you were

saying um about lisa being too hard up and too too moral i love i absolutely love it's another one of hank azari's blue collar guys all right and Marge is eating testing grapes this guy like shipped in from Staten Island or something like hey lady I'm just trying to do my job over here pet store guy any driver they all have

this accent from I have to say this episode did negatively affect me anytime I went to a supermarket afterwards I would try I would take like a couple grapes because it's like I

told you I never knew you could do that until the show how we use electricity can be smarter cleaner and greener at electric ireland we can help guide you there you're looking up you see our new net zero hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans ev tariffs solar panels and much more making your usage clearer your your trips greener,

your home cozier and your world brighter. Find our net zero hub at electric Ireland. Don't you think it's weird though? Lisa has the amazing before that Lisa has the amazing vision of hell surrounding them. Also Dr. Nick, it was the first high Dr. Nick and Dr.

Nick had gone from being a guy who faked injuries to inventing corrective that's brilliant i will tell you about the story of grocery store corruption when i worked in the grocery store 15 years ago i don't think you can arrest me now because it's it's been so long but everyone there just always stole food no one paid for any food anytime you ate food the grocery store you just took off the shelf took to the break room and ate it so like stealing was rampant and no one cared it was just like you figured out everyone was stealing and you did it yourself i feel like that was part of like the fabric of grocery store i feel like an asshole because i worked at mcdonald's and like a dvd retailer and i never stole shit because i was too afraid because i've

been arrested for stealing before uh i'll do it what is up talking Simpsons fans? Chris here. Briefly jumping in to tell you this show is brought to you by GeekFuel and if you go to geekfuel.com slash lasertime right now, you can get a free Star Wars item worth $20 just for signing up for a mystery box. What's in the mystery box, you ask?

Six to eight items, an exclusive t-shirt, and a $50 value of Kit and Caboodle featuring famous stuff from marvel dc nintendo zelda game of thrones pop figs pint glasses posters you never know quite what it's going to be but it's like a delicious geeky gift that shows up at your door whenever you feel like it and oh guess what they've had simpson stuff involved in the box in the past so go to geekfuel.com slash laser time right now sign up for one of their boxes get it as a gift for a geek in your life and get a free 20 star wars item right

now i think it's weird lisa sees the same devil that bart saw like it is the same. It is the devil. Yeah. I like the consistency, but price check on two. Anything else? Yes, I ate two grapes. Please charge me for them. Oh, two grapes? Who cares? Just charge me something, please. Yeah, okay, all right.

I need a price check on two grapes. Yeah, you heard me, Phil. Two measly stinking grapes. He's almost at the Charles Bronson, but like a little more aggro. Two grapes. Another thing I love, the making fun of HBO, and at some point just Bart adorably referring to John McClane as Die Hard. Yeah.

All right. Die Hard, Wall Street, and what was the other one? Jaws. Yeah. Jaws. Referring to Bruce Willis as Die Hard. Great name for a character. Why can't Metroid crawl?

But the Blockbuster Channel. If you didn't catch it in the theater, or read it, or see it someplace else, we've got it on the Blockbuster Channel. That was very much what HBO was. It's like, we have the movie a year later, we will run it 3,000 times. And the comment about every cable movie gets two stars or less yeah like because if movies were very popular they didn't hit hbo they would they would stay in theaters or go to the rental market i saw space balls roughly 800 times on hbo that's where i saw it yes every day i think i watched space balls for

like a year i'm seeing on homer's side now like oh great she heard about hell for the first time or the ten commandments so she's seeing everything super strict black and white that's not the real a year. I'm seeing on Homer's side now like, oh great, she heard about hell for the first time in the Ten Commandments so she's seeing everything in super strict black and white. That's not the real reality, but I have to humor her slightly. It would get annoying. There's a scene where Homer's trying to coax Lisa over to cable stealing

and he's like, oh look, there's a horse race. You like ponies? And she says, sorry, I'd rather go to heaven. I'm like, damn, Lisa! They don't address that at all. She's being way too harsh with her family. Homer still puts his foot down. There's something wrong with that kid. She's so moral. Why can't she be more like, well, not like Bard, but there's got to be a happy medium.

Well, you know, Bard was looking at that racy movie today. And Lisa's losing a little respect for you. Maybe we should think about unhooking the cable. Unhook it? But I love cable! Well, then maybe you should pay for it. Don't look, look. Marge, I can't afford it. When I can afford to pay for it, I will, but I can't, so I'm not going to. Homer, I'm afraid that cable has become an evil presence

in our home marge i never put my foot down about anything but i am severely tempted to do it over this marge i'm sorry i think it's coming down it's coming down my foot that's it marge it's coming down the cable stays the foot is spoken you can always tell when they're recording together. It sounds so much better. That argument justifies all media theft ever since the internet was invented. Not just media theft. No offense to people who find causes important on the internet, but you'll notice how they all revolve around the things they like to watch, read, and play.

And I am the exact same way. I will not take a stance over anything unless it's something the equivalent of cable television. It's not my distraction. Yeah, I'm with that too. What about politics? Oh, I didn't vote. And I don't read the paper.

I have no idea what's happening. So we should say that Bart was caught watching a dirty movie on the Top Hat Network, which is not available in Utah or Florida. Love that joke. I hear that joke way more now. You guys are Florians. Top Hat Entertainment. Adult programming that joke way more now. You guys are Florians. Top Hat Entertainment.

Adult programming all day, every day. Except in Florida and Utah. Coming up next, Stardust Memories. Is that a Woody Allen movie? Yes. We also have broadcast news. I love the... It's a little bit too real.

Bart switching away from pornography. Oh, wait, exactly. Ay caramba. Bart. Dad. Oh, here's what I was looking for. Glow chips closed up three and three quarters. It taught me a strategy for later.

Oh, yeah. I got caught masturbating in my dorm room in college and switched immediately. Like, look how far this person can dive without breathing. It would later be my strategy to like, okay, when I press stop on this VHS, let me make sure it's a channel that people would expect me to watch. I remember some remotes had like a previous

channel button. We're all talking about masturbating, by the way. So Top Hat, I guess, is Cinemax. No, it's probably Playboy Channel. I don't know. For me, mentally, I can't imagine Bart seeing hardcore porn. I have to think it's softcore. At this point,

Playboy was not showing penetration. Even as a kid, though, softcore was mind-blowing. It wasn't even what the fuck it was. You're seeing boobs do things? It was the internet. This is what pornography was before the internet, people. I remember when I took a picture of it at some point,

but going back to my parents' house, they have regular cable, but the porn channels have gone insane, and the description is... It's gross. It's really weird. It's Mamory Mama. It's totally unsafe for children

in the language of just the titling. The title is like nine words usually. It's like devastating lesbians. Kids can see porn. It's true. i don't know what it'd be like to be a parent today i'm just like once they're once they're eight you're like i know you can see you've probably seen hardcore pornography like not that you wanted to or even sought it out but uh amy poehler has the hilarious bit in her book talking about how uh a friend of

hers their child had searched naked body or just naked on Google and one of the first image results was a woman with asparagus shoved in her ass wow what's the SEO on that? she said how are we ever going to get these vegetables down so the driver was watching Futurama

and I had the picture of it here it's Futurama just scrolling down beyond the channels and it's finger banging moms penetrated. Wow. It's just right there on the cable. It's like SEO and not actual title. Exactly. And I just happened to get a nice picture of all the Futurama crew looking down.

They're disappointed. This is another thing. Back then it was about parodies or things called like bikini whatever. You'd have bikini in the title. But now there's just no. We got to tell you exactly what you're but now there's just no we gotta tell you exactly what you're seeing it's just sex

that's it so the driving thrust of this it's a lot of characters watching TV but there's an important event in this this is the

Tatum Watson fight and we first meet Frederick Tatum Tretum Tatum Dredrick Tatum oh Dredrick yeah not Frederick sorry

another tie for my favorite line of the show describing him the challenger learned how to fight in the notorious projects of capital city Oh, Dredrick. Yeah, not Dredrick. Sorry. Another tie for my favorite line of the show. Describing him. The challenger learned how to fight in the notorious projects of Capital City and honed his skills while serving time for aggravated assault

and manslaughter in Springfield Prison. All right! Do you have a Tatum Watson interview showdown? My favorite quote of the show is, You can't do that. You're a showman.

I would also like to dedicate this message to the C-Spanish. So the life of Drederick Tatum, he is Mike Tyson. To a T. To the T of Tyson and Tatum. Is this his first appearance or is it the last season? It's an absolute first appearance. So I did a little extra digging into this. I think this is very specifically supposed to be Evander Holyfield versus Mike Tyson

because there was no bigger super fight that could happen in the early 90s, late 80s than that. If you watch, there's actually an amazing documentary on Netflix called Chasing Tyson because Holyfield was seen as the next Tyson challenger. And if you only know Mike Tyson as a joke who stars in an Adult Swim cartoon who also went to jail for horrible things, then you don't know that he was also the most dominant boxer ever of all time. At an extremely young age, too. Yeah, that he came up and his matches, like, a second round was rare. Nobody fought on that level before.

And that documentary is so depressing because Evander Holyfield, here's a good role model, a great boxer. All he has to do is fight Tyson to validate him in the public, and Tyson's like, yeah, I'm going to go to jail for four years. So he never gets the validation. At this point in time, in February of 91, Tyson in 89, at the end of 89

or at the very beginning of 90, I forget, he loses to Buster Douglas in the upset of the century in Japan. Then he's starting to rebuild, but Holyfield got the title. And so now they're trying to build to Holyfield Tyson at the end of 1991, in November 1991. Tyson would later go to jail for that,

go to jail for rape. Yes. And would spend four years in jail. And it's also interesting that the life of Dredd Rick Tatum, though not with rape involved, does mirror every time they check in with Dredd Rick Tatum. Like when he comes back to fight Homer.

He even has his own Don King. Yeah, he looks just like him too. So that's a question I have in this episode, because there is a Don King-like character, but is it Don King or Lucious Sweet? Because, as they say, he is exactly as rich and as famous as Don King. I guess it's Lucious Sweet.

Either Showtime or HBO, they were the big boxing networks. Back then, they wouldn't air it on HBO for a fight that big. Some Tyson fights were on Showtime. Okay, that's true.

Sometimes. But anyway, so that's the background there. You didn't see so much of Watson after this. Also, spoiler for later in the episode, as far as the Simpsons are concerned, Tyson would have beaten Holyfield in a barn burner of a match, but Tyson would have won. And Watson's facial hair does match up with Holyfield's. And his hair.

But I've got to get back just because Homer wants to have everybody over to watch the fight. I just watched the new Netflix cartoon, F is for Family, the Bill Burr show. It's like the plot of the first episode, too. Oh, really? I think just saying what a big deal that used to be and how hard it was to see these fights unless you paid top dollar to watch them live. And people would get so excited to come over to your house that it escalates because Burns decides to come over. Exactly.

And I love this Smithers interaction at the end. He's Homer Simpson, sir, one of your drones from Sector 7G. Excellent. I'm so keen on seeing Watson versus Tatum 2. I'd even go to an employee's house. I can picture it now. The screen door rusting off its filthy hinges. Mangy Dog staggering about looking vainly for a place to die.

Permission to speak frankly, sir? Permission granted. Well, you are quite wealthy. Thank you, Smithies. Your candor is most refreshing. No, no, I mean, why don't you pay for the fight yourself? Ah, Smithers, a big title fight is one of those rare occasions that I savor the sights, the sounds, and, yes, the smells of other men.

You haven't lost the common touch, sir. I just, that was the perfect moment for a Smithers is gay joke. Kind of is. You haven't lost the touch? Yeah. I guess he's kind of saying we have this in common. So did you also, I didn't notice this as a kid, but Burns has a camera in the shower. Yeah, he's overhearing.

He watches that. Yeah, he's taping them nude every day. They don't have much foot. The showers at the nuclear power plant only ever come back for a one-off joke when Homer's drawing them in the showers when he becomes an artist. I think that was mom and pop art. Yeah, not a great episode. One of my favorite throwaway lines is in that shower scene

where they're talking about the fights and they're all cheering Homer and then he says, pass the pumice, please. Homer using a pumice stone is hilarious. I forgot that. They would have fancy shower objects in that shower area. I'm sorry for skipping all over the place with my clips, but Homer finally

relents to Lisa and to not watch the end of the fight. Oh, this is way later in the episode. We can fill in the gaps whenever we want. We're going a little long.

This episode's kind of aimless, too. It just is a lot of stuff happening. Excuse me. I hate to interrupt your judging me, but I wanted you to know I've made a couple of really important decisions.

Number one, I'm cutting the cable as soon as the fight's over. And number two, I'm not very fond of any of you. Well, back to the fight. Get out, boy! Dad, we may have saved your soul. Yeah, it's the worst part of the fight.

I like that Homer is not happy about learning his lesson. He's mad about it. This fight seems like the greatest fight ever. According to the announcer, it ends in round 12. So I don't know how long those people were sitting inside their house. And one of the guys sitting inside is the guy you fight in the arcade game. Exactly.

I noticed that this morning. That's the only time I've seen him, I think, on a show. I think they got rid of him. It's the... No, no, no. The drunk at the end of the Moe's fight. The giant guy. Who looks like a neo-Nazi.

He does, yeah. He's sitting on the floor cheering. He looks like Mr. Burns and Moe's fight. In the Moe's fight, the giant guy. He looks like a neo-Nazi. He does, yeah. He's sitting on the floor cheering. He looks like Mr. Burns and Moe's love child. But I think they just pulled him out as a background character for a boss. Because this guy looks evil. He looks like, why is he in their house? So as a child, I immediately had my nerdy continuity-ness. The questioning even came in then.

First, before Smithers says it, I was like, Burns can afford cable himself. But then the second one was, when Homer is buying all the bars and security stuff for his house, I was like, as a child, I even said, you could afford cable. Those cost you hundreds of dollars. I also like he went to the Quickie Mart and bought Kratom Duff. And there's a sign in the background that just says,

eat more often. So, and there's a sign in the background that just says, eat more often. And there's jokes, they mention this on the commentary too, but you notice that the joke is that it's weird they would invite Apu there, which is because why would you invite the guy who runs a 7-Eleven to hang out at your house? And now they've had his wedding in their backyard.

In just three years, he would live on their couch while, after getting fired by the Quickie-E-Marts. By the way, I looked at it. The crate of duff is 24 beers. I don't know if they had fewer beers in packages back then. You can get beer in 30 packs now. They were stronger, but I have no idea.

Apu mentioned Sanjay, though we don't see him. It is the first invention of the style. He deports violence of any kind. It feels almost racist to do an Apu. All right. Stupid outside research. It is the first. He deplores violence of any kind. He feels almost racist to do an Apu voice. Stupid outside research. I did the fight ends. Homer and the family are watching it outside. It's the greatest fight ever by description of the characters.

The greatest fight ever and I missed it. We're really proud of you, Dad. What a Donnybrook, eh, Mr. Bun? Oh, of course. Why, I once watched Gentleman Jim Corbett fight an Eskimo fellow bare-knuckled for 113 rounds. Back then, of course, if a fight lasted less than Is that where the name of the band comes from? Nickelback. I don't want to share anything in common with the people in Nickelback, including Simpsons fandom.

So did you guys do research on General Jim Corbett? Yes, I did. I did too. What did you say? He fought his last match in 1903. Wow. Which in 1991 would make Burns 100 years old. Yeah. It would make him 100 years old. But that's how fucking awesome the references are. I feel like this entire show

was written to get to that joke. That's my joke of the show. And he wrote an autobiography, starred in a Broadway production about himself that was eventually made into a 1942 hollywood movie called gentleman jim starring errol flynn as gentleman oh wow well i also was thinking about burns's relationships in this episode one he's talking with a poo which is crazy at that point to think the super rich guy is having a conversation with the 7-eleven employees secondly that they wouldn't really the only next time i can think of them rich guy is having a conversation with the 7-Eleven employees secondly that they wouldn't really the only next time I can think of them hanging out is in the pin pals episode

with the homers bowling league aren't they all going back to the quickie mart for slushies yeah burritos yeah burritos and then also Burns is on the couch with Abe Simpson they don't know each other at this point apparently but they serve together in World War II on the fighting hellfish's right you think abe or burns like i guess they don't have great memories so maybe that's that generation henry they don't like talking about it i mean uh we also have the joke where barney opens the door and burns thinks it's homer i love that joke so much barney just stands there yeah just like vacant like the vacant expression and then homer just pops in front of them all the stolen things from work speaking of a vacant expressions every time lisa is staring at homer in this scene it's kind of haunted it is creepy yeah because he just turns around she's there staring at him

judgingly love it love it so much and i the most damn homer eventually cuts the cable and i think that joke is great doesn't work well in audio but the ending of the episode is awesome but i laughed i like that he does more damage to the world by going back on this thing. But Bart pleading with him, I think, is the writer's damning. How shitty early Cable was. Oh, for sure. I beg you to reconsider. Tractor pulls.

Atlanta Braves baseball. Joe Franklin. And Joe Franklin is interviewing Krusty for like three seconds as they're flipping through channels on this episode. So, all right. Yeah, the things here. That was all cable was. In case you didn't know, the tractor pulls, I don't have a specific thing for that. Atlanta Braves baseball was not a great team.

In the early 90s, though, they became an amazing team. But this was like at the end of their futility. But the other thing was they were owned by Ted Turner. They played on Turner Field and who owned Turner Broadcasting Simpson. Who turned his WTBS Atlanta station into a worldwide cable channel. So whereas you would only be able to see like your local baseball team playing or network in your territory, the whole world had to endure Atlanta Braves baseball.

Well, it's the same if you watch WGN, you get the Cubs. You see the Cubs and White Sox. But that's not how it is now. But so you get a Braves baseball. Well, it's the same if you watch WGN, you get the Cubs. You see the Cubs and White Sox. But that's not how it is now, but it's not baseball. Meanwhile, Joe Franklin was a talk show host for 43 years, only for the local New York area, but the New York channel he was on, WOR,

also went on to early cable, though I never had that channel. Me neither. Because I've never listened to Howard Stern, but read his biography, and he's like, yeah, I had this talk show that was seen everywhere. I'm like, I've never listened to Howard Stern but read his biography and he's like yeah I had this talk show that was seen everywhere I'm like I've never heard of it never seen it and it was I think it was on WOR

so yeah that Joe Frank I never saw Joe Frank according to oh right that's right and he was one of the first guests on the Space Coast Coast to Coast that's how I first got to see Joe Franklin. I get him and Dick Cavett confused.

Because even I brought up both of them in front of my dad. He's like, oh, fuck those guys. He grew up with them on television constantly. And Joe Franklin died a year ago. One year ago in January of 2015 at the age of 88. We're saying it's okay if you don't know who Joe Franklin is. Yeah, you don't need to. Think of Larry King and think of a slightly worse Larry King.

Shorter, fatter Larry King. Well, that was Talking Simpsons, everybody. Joe Franklin! We're glad we're here to explain Joe Franklin, everybody, because I think we're doing a service to younger people. This is such a dated episode, really. Nobody has other screens to stare at. All you have is cable to capable look at which felt so

magical that you can't even you don't even know it and content has no value yeah basically like only specialized hey hey this content has value thanks for listening yes wow almost almost damn myself yes that was talking Simpsons I am Bob Mackey your host find me on Twitter as Bob servo and also check out

retronauts my classic gaming podcast. Go to retronauts.com or usgamer.net or search for it in all of your fun podcast software. And Chris Antista, a bunch of us host the Laser Time show. That's a weekly pop culture show focused on one topic, unlike 302010, which is focused

on, if you like the news intro we do at the beginning of this show, it's like a whole show about that for 10 years ago, 20 years ago, and 30 years ago. So it's called 30-20-10. Amazing. But all worth listening to, just like my podcast, Cape Crisis, where we talk about the regular weekly events in the world of comic books. And also there's Vigigame Apocalypse, the video game show done every week on this network as well. And I host Cheap Popcast podcast a wrestling podcast that includes all

wrestling even wrestling in mexico where it's for real wow cool and don't forget too if you've never heard the first season of this uh talking simpsons that's available to patrons of patreon.com slash laser time you get five dollars or more a month and you can download the first 13 episodes i support this event or product thanks for for listening. We'll see you next week, everybody. Wow. Infotainment.