Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Homie The Clown

Episode Date: November 8, 2017

I'm seeing double here - FOUR podcasts! We're doing one of the funniest Simpsons episodes ever, with Seattle, speed holes, Italian stereotypes, and (of course) gigantic asses. Listen and laugh along with the hosts during this total classic installment!

This week's episode of Talking Simpsons is brought to you by you. That's right, we're on Patreon now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons. For as little as $5 a month, you can help our show and get all kinds of great extra content on top of that. We've got a ton of great bonus content waiting for you right now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons today. I heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, ahoy, everybody. Welcome to TalkingSimpsons, proudly sponsored by Gigantic Asses Magazine. I am your host, Bob, Regional Krusty Mackey,

and this is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Who else is here with me today? Henry Gilbert, and I'm wearing an extra large piece of the true cross today. Oh, boy. And who else? Big Five, Chris Antistad. Today's episode is Homie the Clown. Clown College. You can't eat that. Today's episode aired on February 12th, 1995,

and as always, Chris will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real-world history. Clowny, clown, clown Bobby! The Star Wars universe kicks it up a notch on the PC with Dark Forces, LucasArts' first first-person shooter, and after defending himself in court, Colin Ferguson is convicted of six counts of murder for the 1993 Long Island Railroad shooting. And Billy Madison wants to touch the hiney. Wubba-da-hoo.

Wubba-da-hoo. And that's where Adam Sandler's creative career peaks. Man, two different episodes we've talked about Adam Sandler in this opening bit. I can promote it. It kick-started a video I did last year called Adam Sandler, King of Product Placements, where he picks up an edible product. It's called Adam Sandler Loves Food. It's great. And it's only the food. There are more product placements in his films. This one had snack pack,

right? Snack pack? Was it the pudding? It was so confusing, yes. He had to up it more. Snack pack is such an early thing. I love Wendy's. Cinnabon. Once he could get to Cinnabon or Subway, it would... Even re-watching Happy Gilmore,

I thought, like, oh, this Subway joke's funny. I'm like, no, this... The joke is it's a commercial for Subway, and it's a commercial for Subway. As they eat in Subway. And this crap peaked in his bad animated movie, A Crazy Night, sorry.

And there's an entire song in the mall that's just like, the mall's the best place ever. All the logos come to life. They're all real logos. They have to invent mascots for gnc yeah and uh coffee bean so they can sing to him it was a real post 9-11 get out and shop uh sentiment behind that song it was also weird that they they're singing that song as an intervention to him so it's just like so hey you product placements talk to an alcoholic like that's that's that's the theme of this become a

spendaholic is it redeemed by having the most accurate animated launch game boy advance ever the purple widescreen version about that it's true just pray just say a prayer for the iron giant animators how to work on that film oh my god that sickens me all the more dark forces was a fun game by the way it's sort of uh has the same plot as rogue Yeah, actually, it is now the non-canonical Rogue One plot. It is about the people who stole the Death Star planet. I couldn't confirm. What if there were, like, double Death Stars? I couldn't confirm.

It was just because it was the first one I played. I couldn't confirm it. But it was the most canonically story-heavy big Star Wars game at around that time. I think there were smaller games, some adventure games that added stuff to it. And you had the flight games. You had the X-Wing games. But those were flight simulators. You weren't a named character who they made up to then shoot stormtroopers in person.

First-person shooters were not ubiquitous. It seemed crazy. Yeah, I mean, Doom was the previous fall. It was fall of 94. So this is kind of like a response to Doom. I want to assume it was being made before Doom. I can't confirm it. It's the the first first person shooter i remember being able to jump in because you couldn't jump in original doom or wolfenstein and then in later ones you'd

get a lightsaber basically they just take the main character of this and say like oh then this guy becomes a lot jedi if you play it today it's kind of barfy just like doom because it's not actual 3d it's all a trick to make you think you're seeing 3d there's no polygons involved not even the levels because i know the characters are sprites i think those aren't actually enlarging sprites those aren't technically polygons it's all like an elaborate ruse until not until quake did we have like full polygonal backgrounds yeah but i did have something we were talking about clips that we brought to the table and i had to point it out this episode's title yes doesn't make a lot of sense anymore but it is related to one of the biggest things in comedy at the time it feels weird to think back

when snl didn't have the market cornered on topical sketch comedy and like with no key and peel in the world like it's just snl and nothing else yeah yeah and also speaking of all video games there is a point and click adventure game featuring this character but damon wayne's originated i didn't i even looked in the premise of it because I didn't understand it. He is perpetually under community service. That's why Homie the Clown is awful and miserable because he's being forced to entertain children. But it originated on A Living Color played by Damon Wayans, and there's a little clip of it here. Hi, kids.

I'm Homie the Clown. Y'all ready to have some fun? Yeah! All right, what y'all want me to do first? Mommy, mommy, mommy Y'all do a silly clown dance for us Yeah! Grading myself, huh?

I don't think so Yeah Homie don't play that Homie don't play that Classics Homie don't play that We used to like knock shit out of each other's hands And say homie don't play that homie don't play that we used to like knock shit out of each other's hands and say homie don't play that besides the

Simpsons and Living Color was a catchphrase generator it was huge absolutely yeah the original sketch the I believe it was the first sketch was written by Paul Mooney that was another this is a Paul Mooney character yeah it absolutely is I didn't know that until don't play that was something he said

when racist pitches occurred in the living color writing room that's awesome i don't play that i don't play that shit i didn't know that until paul mooney was basically he was given his own five minutes of every day and dave chapelle was like yeah he wrote he wrote home in the cloud when dave chapelle talked about leaving his sketch show for certain reasons it made me flash back to being a kid and i was like wow you know what every racist i knew loved in living color because it was like oh all of these stereotypes are validated like yeah well it is yeah it's a dangerous line that you uh with satire it's like well okay we're gonna play up the satire of this thing they're like people who don't get

it say yeah this is uh this confirms all my race yeah especially the homeboy shopping network where they were selling you stolen things that originated on snl with anthony michael hall company i'm sorry i love sketch comedy and in living color i say holds up because it is undeniably crass and not pc and i for me emblematic of that is a retirement home for fat people and the only joke is that you have someone someone is available to roll you around so it's just this on location shoot of people in fat suits being rolled to and from their locations. And it's the dumbest kids joke in the universe, but it's just taken to such an extreme. We all love the handyman, of course.

Handyman, oh my boy. Because they couldn't call him like retard man. I'm sorry for saying that, but I'm sure that's what the original sketch was called. And Fire Marshal Bill, of course, was a hit because it just jim carrey flailing around maniacally for three minutes i mean he just what a fine for that show to get him i had never thought about it in 20 years but somebody on facebook shared the uh vanilla ice one which like they were destroying the vanilla ice for the reasons nobody was making fun of him for at that time. He's just like, what's your name? Rob Van Winkle.

Why'd you change it? Nothing rhymes with Winkle. I just take a lick and loop it. He just says a lot like, I'm co-opting this thing until I run it into the ground, like all white people do with anything of lack of space. And the physical comedy of him not being able to keep it. Jim Carrey's a great physical comedian, but that he can't keep up with his background dancers,

and they keep doing the opposite. It's such a great sketch. The background dancers are better than him, even though when you're watching it, he has to be good enough to do those moves to then do them wrong. Look it up, folks.

Remember, the parody song is White White Baby because he's white. I'm actually surprised, unlike SNL, there were no official and living color movies. There were living color

adjacent movies. Like Mo Money was a slogan from the Homeboy Shopping Network network and blank man was sort of a non-intellectually disabled handyman i believe it was handyman going to movie form and some executive saying like okay no yeah that's not gonna happen it's also that they kind of just spread out more that like the lauren michaels of the show keenan ivory, and he didn't have... He left relatively quickly. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. He did not have the Lorne power. Lorne is the executive producer of those SNL films, all of them, but Keenan didn't, I don't believe, got to have that kind of power.

He just went off to make his own movies after he left. I'm going to get you Sucka. I consider it a living color movie. It has most of the cast in it. The first scary movie. Don't be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood. Yeah. I think the genre it's making fun of is dated, but I loved hood movies.

I know we're slowing things down by talking about it, but it is important in the history of Fox because people like In Living Color and The Simpsons and Married with Children were allowed to push the boundaries because I think Fox didn't have a big hand to play. So they signed over a lot of creative freedom. Yeah. And we got a lot of stuff that we liked. And I think it's more watchable than a lot of entertainment from that period. The programming was very rival, this number says.

Well, I get it that they were like, we can't match in production values or any of these things. What can we do that NBC, ABC, and CBS don't do? Well, we're going to cross lines they wouldn't cross. And we'll also give black people their own TV show not named Cars. With creative freedom and ownership. And it's just kind of unbelievable. I will swat an episode of Full House to the goddamn ground. But I'll happily watch Married with Children and Living Color or The Simpsons.

I can't believe people are like, look, the spell's over. We don't need a second comeback season of Full House. One was enough. That one's mostly focused on breasts, oddly enough. But just like they all grew up and there's something for daddy. Something for daddy. Yeah, so this episode, Homie the Clown, I got to point out, it's the first time they're acknowledging the fact that Homer and Krusty are clones of each other.

Yes. And the joke of it is Bart's two idols, Radioactive Man and Krusty, are essentially Homer clones. But he does not see that. He does not respect his father. He respects these figures that are almost identical to his father. And that was something Groening did intentionally in the beginning? That or the artist. I don't know.

So Krusty did debut in the shorts, I believe in the second year of shorts. And so he's very close to David Silverman's heart. He loves Krusty. And he's the director of this episode. It's a very Silverman-y episode in many ways. So Silverman-y. Well, at this point, David Silverman was the supervising director of the show. So he could really only do one a season he last season he did treehouse uh then this season

he does homie the cloud next season he will do mother simpson and then he'll leave to work on monsters inc in one of the fox animated movies but i forget which before that up but but he'll be gone for five years and then come back in 2003 to the simpsons so that's why there's a huge break he also directed the clip shows but even even on uh on 138th episode like he directed five minutes of footage they just had to loop around yeah bill oakley told us on the second interview show we did with him that he can only make like so many minutes of animation and he was really up against the wall and just like marge's bunny ears or there was a time when graining thought what if the twist was crusty was homer and which would be impossible to

do that even in the first season you see what homer's job is so he can't be crusty plus they've met and had dinner together yeah well from yeah, the end of season one even has them in the same space, so it's like, well, then they're absolutely not the same person. Oh yeah, Tall Tale Head, right? Yep. And so yeah, the, well, and Krusty gets busted. In both those episodes, they occupy the same space, so. But this

definitely gets on Homer and him looking the same, and that's the point of the episode, though they also redrew Krusty. Krusty from even like five episodes ago looks just like homer and this one they re they refigured his muzzle they made him look a little older which he honestly should doesn't he always have those like bags under his eyes and his design i don't think so really i think in like i think if you look back at a season four episode when he's like loud that's the set like he he looks the same as as always and crusty it's something we take for granted on the show that like there are no more

regional clowns regional clowns were dead even when this episode aired close to that for not entirely not in tallahassee florida bj the clown i remember her finally she had an office location that kids could go to and They could just visit her? I think she would stay back, but she had other representatives at a time probably in the late 80s, early 90s. I definitely wasn't going to see Clowns at this point in 1995. But I would say this vision of Krusty kind of stuck. Like this version of Krusty. They need him to look more separate from Homer.

I'm actually looking at old pictures and he does have the bags under his eyes yeah so it's like it's the bags under his eyes the muzzle the nose and the hair that are slightly different than homer and crusty makeup yeah which actually hurts the plot a little bit because people say yeah this crusty has a tuft on his head homer doesn't yeah homer just has makeup on his nose crusty is wearing a false nose only all of the crusties have makeup nose not a false nose yeah yeah so and I think this is actually referencing Bozo. Like, Bozo is a franchise. It's a franchise of clowns. You mean Bonko the Clown.

Yes, yeah. That Bozo Bonko. I love talking about that because they had to invent stupid clown shows to basically fill in the gaps between commercials of old Warner Brothers and Popeye cartoons. But Bozo was the biggest. He had affiliates. cartoons right but Bozo was the biggest he had affiliates other people played Bozo and I know Matt Groening talked about watching those types of clown shows he talks about a rusty nails

the Christian clown from Portland and yes we talked like but Krusty's much more than that and I love that he is a man sullied by show business and whatever Springfield needs to have a local celebrity it's always crusty i love the idea of the clown being the most famous person in the city that he can be the world's biggest sellout or a comedian or johnny carson or johnny carson he can be any of those things

when they need him to be he'll present awards he'll host anything and that yeah and silverman loves crusty we've talked many times about like that is such a silverman pose of crusty pointing up or like we'll i think too because of the silverman involvement you'll see many references to old crusty stuff in the background like there's a croon along with crusty gold record which was the name of his segment in previous crusty episodes but this opening bike trick is astounding and we see many different versions of it throughout and I feel like it's something only David Silverman could have done this. It's like one of those animation moves where he's just like, let me

do this because I know what it's going to look like. It is not necessary for this to be one of the most phenomenally animated episodes of the season. Yeah. Given its premise and location. Jokey ass episode. And the animation is great and also Bart and Lisa realizing like Krusty mostly doesn't try anymore

but when he wants to try he can be great which we've seen Krusty reading the racing form live on TV. That's right. This adult newspaper. Yeah so the bike trick happens and I love as the curtain falls down his face also falls. He's like really excited and then he's like nah it's finally over.

That's finally off yes. There's nothing better than a cigarette. Unless it's a cigarette lit with a hundred dollar bill. Put five thousand bucks on the Lakers. Hire Kenny G to play for me in the elevator. My house is dirty. Buy me a clean one. Krusty, as you're accounted, I must warn you. Did you send those

thousand roses to Bea Arthur's grave? Yes, but she still... I don't want to hear the end of any sentences. George Carlin on three. Yeah. Lawsuit. Oh Carlin on three. Yeah. Lawsuit, oh, come on. My seven words you can't say on TV bit was entirely different from your seven words you can't say on TV bit. So I'm a thief, am I? Well, excuse me.

Give him ten grand. Steve Martin on four. Ten grand. Somehow Steve Martin knew what was happening. Somehow Steve Martin cared despite not performing stand-up in a decade. Yeah, I mean, I don't know if I just missed the context, but I never really thought his stand-up was that great. It was just kind of like a bunch of weird non-sequiturs. I mean, have you heard? He was a Dane Cook of his day.

Or a Robin Williams type. No offense to him. No, it's by his own admission. He was coming up during Vietnam. I love watching Smothers Brothers clips. This is supposed to be a funny show, and it isn't. It's very preachy and topical and heavy-handed. Very few yo-yos.

Steve Martin predicted, like, I think people are going to want something silly when they're done feeling like this. And if you're an aspiring comic, I think we're going to need that again in a few years. He'll make a lot of money off it. I think he's i just don't i don't really care for his stand-up i like him in various roles i love him in little shop of horrors i love i love his all of his movies that he writes are the best i do like his stand-up i like his books but i also grew up with him on snl and he was a character that like everybody in the family and everybody my mom loves him too yeah they for a generation of moms he was the top i and i can't i can't just begin to describe you why the song king tut is funny because it's not my favorite honky it's it's there's like that's the funniest

thing about it and it's barely funny yeah i think that yeah when he resumed singing it on the snl anniversary show you're like it's nice martin short's a little funnier but uh but i think when i watch his stand-up now i see it as like well this is a writer actor who made a stand-up show you're not he's not a stand-up he was his movies have a lot of pieces of a stand-up in it yeah cruel shoes and pointy birds in 1990 man with two brains the jerk uh even a bow finger i like both i love both fingers ahead of its time and making fun of Cruel Shoes and Pointy Birds and 90-90. Man with Two Brains, The Jerk. Even to Bowfinger. I like Bowfinger. I love Bowfinger.

Ahead of its time in making fun of Scientology. People didn't know he was making fun of Scientology and sticking it to Anne Heche. Steve Martin's got a great book called Born Standing Up about his, I think, four or five-year journey as a stand-up where he walked away. And I think he only did it again once, recently opening for Jerry Seinfeld in the last two years, but never did stand-up again. The biggest stand-up in the world and just walked never did stand up again the biggest stand up in the world and just walked away because he didn't feel like there was anything left to do I just have to say I do I actually didn't like that when I found out that that joke

at the end of Bowfinger that his girlfriend leaves him for another woman that that was about how he was pissed that Anne Heche left him for Ellen like I don't want to spread biphobia on here folks yes he was dating Anne Heche. Steve Martin has been notoriously left by like every famous woman.

I didn't know that. The woman who's in All of Me, an L.A. story with him, she left him. So yeah, the joke of his girlfriend in Bowfinger leaving him for a woman is the joke about Anne Heche leaving him for Ellen, which I believe Anne Heche is married to a man, the traitor. Yeah. Well, let's not spread biphobia. Sexuality is a spectrum.

So is Italian. This is a very Italian episode. Hey, I'm here to talk about it. Let's pause for one second. Is this the first speaking role for Fat Tony since Bart the Murderer? He had not appeared since then, yes. I mean, I saw that there was an appearance in Rosebud, but he couldn't have had a speaking role because I couldn't find it.

I think he was just an official Springfield Towns person. When they did this one, this is when I think they realized, oh, Joe Mantegna won't come for anything. Oh, but sorry. First off, I did want to say, Bea Arthur lived another 14 years after this joke. He is dead now. He wasn't dead then. And I think, like Jacques, Albert Brooks' character, is in a ton of background sequences. I think it was surprising that Joe Mantegna had only done about 30,

a couple dozen episodes in 30 years. Yeah, he's always said even if he coughs I'll show up. But Fat Tony shows up pretty frequently and doesn't say,

even if he doesn't have a line. Yeah, just like Allison Taylor will be in the background and Laura Powers. Oh, Steve Martin. But yeah, so just so you know,

this is the excuse me reference here. Well, excuse me! He said it! He said it! I love that. You're playing a clip from just the meteoric height of that catchphrase where he has to deliver it real hard. Because even as kids, we were saying, well, excuse me, even Link in his Zelda cartoon.

I thought Link invented that phrase. Yeah. Excuse me. i might have taken from that but it was still ubiquitous in pop culture at that point and uh the seven words you can't say on tv bit it's a long bit i yes which he did like in eight different specials he did it all the time it was well it was his hot pockets honestly yeah when i saw jim gaffigan live in las vegas he did hot pockets at the very end because I think he was feeling like, I'm in Las Vegas.

These aren't comedy nerds. They got to hear my hit. But I only have these seven words right here, though. Risky, suggestive, cursing, cussing, swearing, and all I could think of was shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. Swear words! All I could think of was shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. In the 70s, hearing those words out loud from a man in a microphone was different. We can say whatever we want on this mic, but there was not a lot of venue. George Carlin was, like, this material was thrust in the eyes of people via HBO, who had never heard this language on American television before.

You have to buy, like, a record. Like, we're going to play this record. They say dirty words on it. It's dated in that, I think, two of those words you can now say on basic cable. You can say tits all you want, I think. Yeah. I think ass is one of them, too. Oh, well, he...

Ass, yeah. He's now said that in the long bit, he's like, or you could call someone, you made a real ass of yourself, but you wouldn't say, like, I'm going to eat your ass. It's a classic Carlinh that he is going over like it's his love of language and all that it's great it's much better than his like oh you get on a plane you're gonna get on the i'm stealing dana gould making fun of him shot glass okay you know what he meant i feel like uh gallagher cribbed a lot of this for his non-smash material you ever

think about this you ever think yes, yes. I almost did. But okay, yes. Fats Tony D'Amico. Krusty, in regards to the large wager you made on yesterday's horse race. Oh, come on. How about letting me go double or nothing on the big opera tonight? Who do you like? The tenor.

Okay, but we're only letting the bet ride because you crack us so consistently up. Up. By the way, this episode is written by John Schwarzwalder back to back, and I checked, even in production code, this was produced back to back. At this point, Schwarzwalder, I believe, was just out of the office, and he was just writing alone. They put him in a corner, like, write these funny things. Well, at some point, he couldn't smoke anymore in the office. He's like, I'm not coming in anymore. So he wrote in like a smoking cafe in LA by himself. Yeah. Until that closed and he bought the booth and put it in his house. He sounds like a very peculiar man, that's for sure. And surrounded

by dorks. It's like, he's this, he's this weirdo that they just like, and they, and then all these dorks are like, wow, this guy's weird. As a fellow weirdo, I like doing a lot of writing outside of the house, like in public. I'm a worse person if I'm in this office. Always. It's better. I mean, I've never tried writing at a diner. I wonder.

I can never. I always get distracted. So Krusty lights a cigarette with a $100 bill, Action Comics number one, and a string of pearls. A string of pearls, which we pointed out in Barbershop Quartet. At that point, I didn't check for its value,

and it was worth $3.2 million. Do we know how many of those are in circulation? It's dozens. Dozens, okay. It's huge news when someone finds one. There have been multiple stories of person X dies, they go through their things, and they find this is a mint copy of Action Comics, there was one of a woman uh moves into a new house and then they're taking down a wall

and they see that somebody stored in action comics number one in the wall and then they sell it and and really action comics number one is just a priceless comic it will go every time a new one goes on sale whatever it's it'll go for more than the last one did it's the stadium events of the comic world so burning it to smoke it is quite like that it's opulent i did i did have an incident and i meant to tell you about this thing because only you would care i was in a local comic shop amazing fantasy and i see action comics number one out of a bag on on the wall and i can just pick it up and i pick it up and like what the fuck and i turn it over i'm like this is a 1992 reprint and that they had made 92 like

reprints of old comics and like even that now has value because it looks exactly like the old comic that's amazing you know when i when i was a youngster marvel did reprints like that but they have like this silver silver ring around it. To make it less convincing. I bought X-Men number one like that. But it had all the ads in it. That was the perfect thing. They reprinted the ads.

All the X-Ray specs that didn't work. It's beautiful. Yes. And it's also something when you read Action Comics number one, it starts with a Superman story and then it's 40 more pages of like, oh, Western, oh, the magician. It's funny that like every superhero has their origin in something called like Fantastic Stories or Amazing Tales of Wonder. We promise these are good. Yeah, it's never just like, oh, Superman number one, that's where Superman appears. Give us your nickel.

Well, so then eventually, within two years of Superman and Batman's existence, they start a second book just called Superman and Batman. So the time would come. But, yeah, actually, the action comics thing, it also reminds me of there was a joke on 30 Rock where Judah Freelander's character destroys a classic Marvel comic book, like an Avengers issue. And for the joke, he has to destroy it. He throws it in like a fryer and joe casada who was like the boss at marvel at the time was like shame on you 30 rock that that's a piece of history that wasn't a prop destroy that they he said it was the real thing like yeah uh but anyway i i love getting i think this is when they realized fat tony could be used regularly and

he will appear a lot more after this episode. To represent the rampant corruption in Springfield. Yes, if they need any criminal. I love seeing the Krusty merchandise, though. They have new things like the Krusty, is this the legally binding forms? Yeah. The Krusty crowd control barrier. There is a Monopoly.

Monopoly is not patented. Yeah, so anybody can make their blank opoly game. Actually, we rarely have cause to use this. It is time, though, for the death jingle. Death stalks you at every turn. There it is!

Death! Dead guest star. Johnny Unitas, who has a haircut you can set your watch to. Do you know when he died, Henry? Yeah, 2002. Age 69, the nicest age. Nice. It was a fun little role where he's shilling for the Lady Krusty mustache removal system, where it's literally a Krusty head that bites your lip.

Yes. It's like a painful PEZ dispenser. How could it not rip your lip apart? I do like his... Probably. So, what do you think of the Lady Krusty mustache removal system now, Angelique? It's Krusty-rific, Johnny Unitas. But is my upper lip supposed to bleed like this?

Probably. At this rate, you'll be broke in a month. The only thing left to do is to open a clown college and train some regional Krustys. You mean like that bozo, Bonko the Clown? Exactly. Forget it. I'll just cut back on the Condor egg omelets. A couple of those would be tasty right now.

I'll found the college tomorrow. This accountant is supposed to be Alan Dershowitz, right? He's very Dershowitz-y. I was going to say, otherwise he's a little Jew-y. In general, it's like, well, it's your Jewish accountant. That's just... He does look like Alan Dershowitz. That's true, yes.

And this is in the middle of the OJ trial, so the world can recognize the figure. You're right about that. Ew, that is true. Also, that line, gambling is the finest thing a person can do if he's good at it. What is that? It sounds like it's a quote of something, but my research came up empty. Yeah. Maybe it's just a Schwarzwelderism of just like, this sounds like a smart thing, but

why would gambling be the finest thing a man can do if he's good at it? Yeah, a fake aphorism or something. Calling boxing the sweetest science. Was this checked by anybody? Also I tried for this episode to find a commercial or an infomercial with Johnny Unitas and I couldn't find one. There just isn't one on YouTube.

He was low on the celebrity endorsement totem pole. We are in the era of infomercials in this time. I don't know if they're still around, but are they just late night extended commercials? Yeah, and if you have an over-the-air antenna, it's during the day. You'll see a ton of this stuff on

your local networks. I want to get one of those vacuum sealer food things. That seems really useful. Or for my clothes. I think I watched the food dehydrator one a lot as a kid. Like, this is so cool. I love all those montages of people failing to do normal things that are clothes i think i watched the food dehydrator one a lot as a kid like this is so cool i just i love all those montages of people failing to do normal yeah they're just like emblematic of white privilege yeah like i can't pour these chips into a bowl oh i tripped over my hose again

ron popeil i'm lost in my giant house help me sorry this dishwasher is not like oh a dishwasher that one comic what are you doing right now eating a giant bowl of cheetos like how giant like two whole bags and then tips it over that was dinner uh boiling this spaghetti it spills out too much if only there was a better way flipping this pancake uh i like that in the universe of The Simpsons, there isn't Bozo, but there is Bonko the Clown, who is Bozo. Which is just, one, they've never brought back a competitor clown for Krusty named Bonko. But also, just, like, the line is so great. Like, you mean like that Bozo, Bonko the Clown? Yeah, there is no Bozo, but bozo is now a term to call someone a

clown yes i was a big bozo fan as a kid because we could watch it on wgn i can't believe that well that that ubiquitous arcade fucking beer pong machine if you probably saw it in your arcade the grand prize game yeah five buckets throw ping pong balls in it boring as shit but a easy way to win tickets. You get in the first bucket, you usually win a Little Debbie snack thing. And at the very end, which almost no kid got, it's like a Nintendo Entertainment System. And that's right above the spider ring and two pack of Smarties. Yes, yeah.

And we're giving all these Smarties to all the kids in the audience. Right, Cookie? Yeah, that's right. The Simpsons didn't invent the clown college i would but i was shocked to learn afterwards that one existed this is the most eerily dated reference whenever we talk about this because only this year as of this recording did we lose ringling brothers in barnum and bailey circus right good they most famously but it's just one of those things that like that was a reference everyone could get for 300 years. Yeah.

And it just disappeared in our life. There's a great later season Simpson joke where it's a circus that's closed and the sign says closed due to popular demand. Like nobody wants to go to the circus. It's weird. But like I Dumbo wasn't timeless for a lot of reasons. But now the theme of it. Someone else will abuse those animals. There is.

There was up until 97 a Ringling Brothers Brothers clown college in Sarasota, Florida. I believe Steve-O is a famous graduate from said clown college. I didn't know that. Of jackass fame. But it did exist. I just watched it and was like, this is just a ridiculous Simpsons premise. No, there was a clown college. Yeah, there had been.

There was a previous clown college joke when Homer goes to college, Bart says, Barbara Clown. But new billboard day, I would think about this when I would see billboards, like, yeah, first of the month, so the billboards turn around. And we actually, Bob and I were just talking about it, like, yeah, Homer kills about a dozen people in this sequence. When your life is so mundane that you look forward to this stuff and i did i definitely did in school if you went to a public school in the 80s 90s there would be this big billboard like fun facts nutrition and i would get excited when one of those shows up and it was usually like a way to plug yogurt yes yeah that's like the advertisements in schools but then homer and homer does what every billboard tells him and this was the first time i truly got the joke of like the reason homer stops and reads is that he is too slow of a reader to

read it at the normal speed anyone else would by driving by i never thought about that he does stop every time that's how the guy collects all the cars and then how homer kills all those people their cars immediately going up in fire and there's no one gets out they are dead yeah the best in the west that rhymes and then homer and yeah that was the intro clip of homer saying clown college you can't eat that i don't know there where there was an ad for a big tub of msg but that's the other thing homer buys that the billboards told him to and then these are valid visual gags, but I just love the visualization of an idea entering your brain of the clown college pushing out him dreaming of sleeping and eating. Yeah.

Replace that with porn and you got mean enough. Taking over everything he wants out of life. Yeah, and that he is seeing his friends on fire as clowns. Clowns are funny. The extra work into the design of making all those different clowns. Clowns are funny. The extra work into the design of making all those different clowns. Your clown makeup has to be so specific

and unique. Everyone gets the muzzle, too. Yes. Including all the family members. Yes. So this is a reference to Close Encounters of a Third Kind here.

Mom, I think I'll have some wine. What? Yes, homie that's it you people have stood in my way long enough i'm going to clown college i don't think any of us expected him to say that yeah it starts with a um a close encounters reference of him sort of building the devil's Tower, but it's a circus tent. This means something. And I just saw that movie for the first time since I was a kid. I'm so jealous. The 4K restoration.

It is a great movie, but you realize, like, man, these are some 70s-ass values. It's like, this dad just leaves his family. He leaves a family of three. To go on a spaceship. And he's like, this is great! But at the end, he's, like, jumping up and down, like, yay! But he leaves them first for a UFO curiosity and just starts hooking up with another woman into spielberg's eyes a man from a broken family this is our hero yeah then he leaves his family alone on the planet earth yeah at that time spielberg had recently

divorced his wife to go to hollywood to fully embrace hollywood just as space children aliens fully embrace richard dreyfus like it. It's a pretty tone-deaf depiction of a human being. Yeah, you're supposed to root for this guy abandoning his family when really Terry Garr should be the main character. But a great movie, but still not better than E.T. Francois Truffaut acting it up in it, too. After I saw it, I saw

a tweet from Richard Dreyfuss saying they should make a sequel in which he has to confront the family he left behind. Even Richard Dreyfuss is like, this kind of sucks for this guy to do. You of sucks yeah tell me you wouldn't do it too come on son the sentence will be right back how we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero Hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans,

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use some extra cash at patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons. Right there is where we are supported to do this full time, and we thank all of our wonderful patrons there. But if you're not yet a patron, what do you get? Well, many things, but including access to every episode a week early and ad-free,

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I even, oh, and our monthly community podcast, and a bunch of exclusive interviews, like our extended interview extended interview with ian jones cordy and a separate interview with bill oakley we did so many awesome things they're all at your leisure you can check out and if you sign up you get an rss feed you can plug into whatever podcast machine you've got and listen to it there it's super duper easy just starting at five dollars a month and again all that helps me and bob live and do this full time to focus on awesome simpsony good things check it out you know what goes great with a pair of baggy clown pants a talking simpsons t-shirts you can get one for yourself at tiny.cc slash talking shirts our awesome t-shirts are made by shirt sickle and they're some of my favorite shirts around it's seriously high quality i've got one

for myself starting in just 1999 plus tax and shipping you can get one for yourself and they come in many different sizes and styles men's women's all that and it ships somewhat internationally so just because you don't live in america doesn't mean you can't get this shirt be sure to check it out it's at shirtsicle.com but the easiest way to go there is going to tiny.cc slash talking shirt. And you'll be able to see it there. It is a cool design based on the Ion Springfield logo made by awesome friend of the show, the artist Nina Matsumoto. And we super duper thank her for her work on that.

Go and check it out. Tiny.cc slash talking shirt. Hey, this is Hank Azaria. You're listening to Talking Simpsons on Laser Time. I didn't know that was a thing. Happy Halloween. Yes, Lizzie. Tis the season for Halloween spooktaculars,

and we have launched a brand new series. Anm street nightmare no good scream liz it's a brand new limited podcast series all about our favorite horror series a nightmare on elm street every week in october talk with us about our favorite horror villain freddy krueger here's a highlight just the all out weirdest scene in like in almost all of freddy history we get the tongue sequence again but coming out of jesse the main character onto his girlfriend's boobs and i do like i i also in hindsight like i come on i'm a little kid in the 80s i am watching this for nudity i'm watching horror movies for nudity as well they since they got that r rating they almost always snuck in boobs and butt.

There's nudity in every Friday the 13th movie. It's part of the game. There's not a lot of nudity in the Nightmare series as a series. Except in this movie, where it's just mostly dude butts. There's some boobage in here,

but not as lovingly shot as the asses in the shower sequence. However, this is probably the gayest sequence in the entire film where jesse runs away from the cabana he doesn't want to be with the woman he gets hot sweaty and feels weird and he needs to run into the bedroom of his friend his frenemy who they fight a little they do push-ups together they pull each other's pants down he wakes him up as he's shirtless in bed. They're both incredibly sweaty.

And this is what accounted for 80 subtext, I suppose. There's something inside of me. And last night it made me go to my sister's room. And tonight with Lisa in the cabana, it started to happen again. I think you are seriously losing it, bro. I'm scared, Grady. Something is trying to get inside my body. Yeah, and she's female and she's waiting for you in the cabana.

And you want to sleep with me. Look, I don't care if you believe me or not. Hey, I believe you. Sleep with me, bro. Just sleep with me. Pull your pants down, bro. Don't even put your shirt on. Just sleep together.

Listen to an Elm Street Nightmare. Every Tuesday. At elmstreetnightmare.com or wherever you get your podcasts. The answer that Homer is like, well, I want to go to clown college because of Billboard. Like, he loses so much the rest of the episode. Like, well, why are you a clown?

It's just a Billboard told you to. It's the only thing. It's all about the glory of the episode. Like, well, why are you a clown? It's just a billboard told you to. It's the only thing. It's all about the glory of being a clown. Yeah, that Homer just drops everything. Like, no, I'm going to be a clown.

The end. And I also love the design of Krusty Marge, especially the Dutch angle of her going, do-do-do-do-do. It's so perfect. Actually, I think it just shows

how susceptible Homer is to advertising. Like, he must buy every product that is presented to him on these billboards and that is a product he must take part in because he was told to do it he is a network executive's dream yes martin's reaction of like i think i'll have some wine that is to like the implication she'll become a wine mom when this is just too much for her and this is homer being extra crazy i think that might be a

even more specific reference to close encounters yeah i think that's what she says i you're right actually yeah and what i like about this episode it is a homer gets a job episode but he still has to work his other job and we see him there too which is great like they would never acknowledge that in just a few years even it's true i also i love the little bit that bart thinks crusty invented all those guys because as a kid you don't know the history of entertainment. If you see, say, The Mask, Jim Carrey's The Mask, and you see all these Tex Avery jokes in there, you're like, yeah, Jim Carrey invented all these jokes. And we will have that Lazer Time episode I teased a while ago, but you guys were involved with it. But explaining Looney Tunes references and how they're all borrowed gags that are references to other things.

Mostly Thibaut McGee and Molly. Mostly radio shows, but a lot of other weird stuff like commercials. It is way Family Guy before Family Guy. I don't think most people know that about the Looney Tunes. It was really about Bugs Bunny looking at the screen like, we all heard that radio show, right? Who remembers this deodorant commercial?

And I also love Homer's like, I am holding still. I am squirming uh so marge is forced to cooperate with homer well there's no other way around it yeah his mind is set on it so like i guess he's going to clown college and uh homer learns quite a lot here i i clip out the fully visual homer failing at the bicycle stuff because it's amazing it happens three times right they came up with a funny thing for him to happen every time falling through the it pulling his pants down and then and just the animation of his like crab walk when it's crushed around the ramp like

tightens around him which is insane that shouldn't work there's no reason but it's it's all beautiful simpsons doesn't work there's no reason but it's all beautiful simpsons doesn't like to animate that much yeah it's in threes i feel like these are all you can thank silverman for this feels silverman out in the commentary says that like they didn't change much from the first draft the script they got from schwartz welder so this is like first draft script with a director they can fully trust with all this stuff like and you end up with an amazing looking episode like this but yes here's what homer learns at clown college now there can only be one crusty in each territory so i hope this works out tell me where you're from georgia texas uh brooklyn

russia new hampshire homer okay we'll start off with the baggy those are supposed to be baggy pants baggy I've never had a pair of pants that fit this well in my life okay memorize these funny place names Walla Walla Keokuk

Kookamonga Seattle laughter stop it you're killing me Seattle when the wealthy dowager comes in the party's over right wrong

kill wealthy dowager that was a brutal it was more like a pie punch and the pie throw her head goes through the wall like homer is right to read that is killing her like crusty kind of killed i was disappointed there was no lake titty caca in that uh that list of place names it is the funniest thing i have to assume someone named it that as a joke well so these are all American cities, too, just so you know. It's Walla Walla, Washington, Keokuk, Iowa, and Cucamonga, California, and beautiful Rancho Cucamonga, California. I love doing the California gold voice. I'm just stealing from James Adomian, but who doesn't?

Everybody does. Seb Gorka himself is stealing from James Adomian to be more of himself. I actually... Gorka! At a recent appearance, I'm like, is this James Adomian to be more of himself. I actually. Gorka. At a recent appearance, I'm like, is this James Adomian? Yes, I know. James Adomian would be, he needs a bigger head to be Seb Gorka.

That's his one problem. He's like, he needs, he can just get a paper mache head of Gorka and become him. But also the gag that like, Krusty has blinded multiple children. Like the joke to like, like how much that cost you? He's so, there are kids with no eyes, thanks to Krusty. So yeah, once we see Homer's all get up,

I like that he's actually good at it. Like he can, he can do a bank shot with the water. Like it was his major, but seeing him put on, put on the makeup, put on the thing, but he apparently like Krusty, never

takes it off. He remains in that the rest of the episode. He does. And then Homer graduates and is punished for trying to deny the rule of three. Uh-huh. This is the happiest day of my life. The hi-ya-ya!

Got it! No shock for me! Oh yeah! Whoa! Oh! Oh! Got it. No shock for me. Oh, yeah. Him rubbing it into his face and neck. I'm like, ow. Krusty screaming about those pants. It must be Baggy. Baggy. It's some of my favorite Krusty ever.

That is my personal favorite line that he yells. But just Krusty's character here. He's petty in so many different ways. He also has being a celebrity he has an enjoyment buzzer and and i i meant to do i was obsessed with like magic shops and pranks and the hand buzzer i'm asking you the audience did that ever actually involve electricity no no it was just a like an intense vibration that would surprise someone as a kid i thought it was electric because of the effects in cartoons. Yes. Well, like the Joker would murder people.

Yeah. So you think like, well, this has to be electric. But yeah, it was just something you wound up and vibrated when someone shook your hand. Which I guess it like, and it spins in the middle of their palms. So it's definitely a surprise. But you can get the same effect by tucking in your thumb every time you shake someone's hand. Super unnerving and they'll wince.

It's sort of like, have you ever played that quote unquote-unquote arcade game that is uh the fester one where you hold on the poles yeah it just vibrates violently it doesn't shock you and it's like can you hold on it's actually very easy to hold on until i think it's for children yeah because it's supposed to be it's a reference to you know him having the light bulb light up in his mouth so it's like can you take enough electricity but obviously at least in in America, you cannot make a video game that actually electrocutes you. Not until they did, eventually, a peripheral. I think it was released in the UK, but it was compatible with Tekken.

That can't happen with our nanny state. Okay, so Homer makes his first appearance as Krusty, and it's horrible from the beginning. I've never seen a clown parachute, though. I have seen Santa Claus parachute in. He's always parachuting in places like jc penny parking lots and when i was a kid in orange park florida there is a greyhound racetrack and at it uh their big deal like the the first weekend after thanksgiving they'd be like santa claus is gonna parachute into the track and it's a big day for all the family that sounds so sad just like you know when you your gambling addict father takes you there because he can't afford a sitter because

he spends all his money on gambling you can meet santa now and you know the degenerate gamblers are stewing get this fucking shit out of here i want to see the puppies all these phonies here i'm trying to yeah uh well though i also associate simpsons closely with that place because more than once i'd have a new simpsons comic there and then i'd go i'd have also associate simpsons closely with that place because more than once i'd have a new simpsons comic there and then i'd go i'd have a new simpsons comic then go there with my dad and like well i better just read this eight times in a row and just memorize all this because we're not leaving and i can't gamble even so this is boring and then the animation of homer homer having to do his own tumbling he's just bad at it

again great work yeah i mean he should be dead plummeting from a plane without a shoot through these like cardboard burgers or styrofoam burgers if you don't want to say this next scene sells out homer then just say he's heavily concussed after that i mean homer has killed 12 people previous to the scene in this episode. He doesn't, despite this most famous line, should this be the line of the episode? I think so. It's something I say all the time. That's the joke.

Oh, God, save me. It's the Krusty Burglar! Oh, my God! He's stealing all the burgers! Why, you little... I'll cut you! It's all just an act. Stop! He's already dead.

Krusty the Clown, everybody. Please look at my medical bracelet. See, I know they had him say that so we knew Homer didn't just kill a man in front of our eyes. That's the Estonian Dwarf, too. That is Estonian Dwarf. In the type of role he would always play, but oh my God, the children's faces as they're watching Krusty murder a man in front of them. They have been scarred forever.

How will the Hamburglar ever learn? Some really tough punishment. A very low-key joke that starts the scene is like they're introducing the new Krusty Burger, the one with ketchup. They don't even have cheese on it. Yeah. the scene is like they're introducing the new crusty burger the one with ketchup they don't even have cheese on it yeah but it was only upon closer inspection that watching it like homer is smashing his head against a rock it's not even he's punching like there's a rock under like here caving his skull and this man is dead i'm sure the estonian dwarf shows up again

he does yeah i just want to point out briefly uh this is all an old reference to a fast food restaurant opening in your town and i just saw the movie the founder the ray crock story and it was it was a little into my lifetime but it did used to be a big deal now your mcdonald's pop up without you noticing or asking your permission they more go away than pop up these days but back in the day there was a it would be a huge deal there'd be those flags and balloons every time a stupid one dollar hamburger place what i notice more now is when the slightly above mcdonald's place is open up maybe he's like an indian out's coming here dunkin donuts is coming here well in in new york city when they got a chick-fil-a lines around the block like we got chick-fil-a It's when the regional things move to somewhere else.

Like it's just a different. But that movie shows that like McDonald's is a worldwide phenomenon. It's not everywhere yet. So the town would be so excited to be bestowed with one. And then they show you how Roy Croft turned into a real estate business. That's the real cut out the actual founders. And you could no longer really celebrate it because it became something shady. So Matt Graney really hated that joke of Homer murdering.

I think that medic alert bracelet line is because Matt Groening's like, he can't be dead. I think that's why the paratroopers in the previous episode have to fight at the end. It makes the joke funnier, but they can't be dead. That's true. You don't see their parachutes pop out when the planes explode. So they have to. You definitely can't kill servicemen on the season. And up next we see the second birthday party Milhouse has had in the series so far.

The first one was in Homer Defined in which Bart was not invited. And they have the whole Bart and Milhouse break up story. Oh my god. Wow. So Milhouse is like turned ten twice now. It's confirmed that one year has at least passed. That's right. I hope somebody was fired from that point.

I love the delayed ejection from the car. It's such a weird joke, but it lands so well. It makes no sense why. And this would almost be the line of the show, just for the extra dimension it adds to Kirk Van Houten that I can't imagine him not having. Put that in there. There's your giraffe, little girl. I'm a boy. That's a spirit.

Never give up. Well, I guess you're pretty impressed, huh, Bart? My dad got Krusty the Clown to personally appear at my party. I have a feeling I could get him to appear at my house. Oh, I don't know, Bart. My dad's a pretty big wheel down at the Cracker Factory. I love that line. I think that comes from this that's important canon which

will pay off in the future yeah well obviously oakley weinstein we're listening like yep got it he works in the cracker factory like i didn't realize one of my favorite re-watching uh ash versus evil dead for halloween just a really funny show one of my favorite lines is just lifted from here hey look at you you've overcome so much adversity being a mexican at home i'm not mexican that's the spirit i love that line this ralph that ralph line is probably my runner-up that's the spirit never give up that crappy giraffe that homer gives him just a bundle of balloons yes but oh god just the the amount of pride millhouse takes in his dad being at working at a cracker factory which like instead of feeling the shame that Bart feels for Homer, and sometimes less shame,

instead Millhouse is so proud of his dad. He thinks only a guy who's a big deal at a cracker factory can get Krusty the Clown. He'd be a bigger deal if he worked at Allied Biscuit. Allied Biscuit is cinnamon offers. Or Table Time. Table Time. I've never had a clown at a birthday party either like

no no it happened a lot with us and even in school and sometimes they give like anti-drug messages they're always scary they've always been fucking scary that was a great joke on the new bojack horseman where they're just like where they found a clown dentist's office it's like well yeah i mean adults don't like clowns, so it must be that kids love them. Otherwise, why would there be clowns? They are stupid. Clowns are dumb. Yeah, I mean, before that was the

joke, like, clowns are scary. As a kid, I was like, your encounter with a clown is way too intense. They're in your face. You don't know what's going to happen. It's just like, I don't want to have this encounter, this clown encounter. I mean, Simpsons helped fed that quite a bit with like can't sleep clown elite me like that was which again the mike reese joke they say on the commentary is parents hate him and kids are scared of him so what the hell good are they and i think the clown

community is upset about the new it movie because they're like we were finally getting recognition and now people are afraid of us again moved on from it and now we're back. And this can only benefit you. Yeah, I think, well, they want to, I feel bad for like the old managers, like I just want to entertain. They just want to be nice old guys who make kids laugh. Like they want the glory of being a clown. When I started this clown thing,

I thought it would be nothing but glory. You know, the glory of being a clown. I tell you, it's hard, tiring work. But when I see the smiles on their little faces, I just know they're getting ready to jab me with something.

That could be my line. I'm sorry, I can't decide. There's just too many. There's too many great lines. As an Italian, we even got to what my dad and I's highlights are. Oh, of course. So Homer is going to co-host the Cable Ace Awards. We need to talk about that? Yes, I would love to talk about that.

Is that sort of like the Me Too thing? So the Emmys would not acknowledge cable TV? Yes. I thought so. Because most of you were born in an era where HBO sweeps the Emmys, but they were very much quietly blackballed for a very long time, as were every other cable show and i think cable entertainment was viewed as like lesser lower budget i mean that's what this joke is yeah joke

is that this is a network show saying cable sucks like it's the simpsons taking a high and mighty jab at cable television watching it during this era like it's hosted by dennis miller to honor larry sanders show duckman and Katz are making custom animated appearances. And I was getting way more into cable at this point, but this started as far back as 1978 to honor shows that weren't on the big three networks, because they weren't getting anything. Yeah, I mean, if you

go back to the episode where they steal cable, the joke is, like, they will literally put anything on TV. Joe Franklin. Yeah, it's all old movies and bad baseball games. It's like you don't want this. And they're not wrong. ESPN 2 started to run reruns of old sports. Holy shit. Can you imagine

being that bored? Who would want to ever watch an old baseball game? Unless it was a major championship or something. Seriously. And yeah, the cable Ace Awards, they were also simulcast across multiple networks some years. I remember flipping through channels like, well, it's on TBS oh and Lifetime it was the only way a lot of great shows could be nominated for anything and I think USA and Comedy Central was starting to do great stuff

South Park was about to come on the air like there was no way to honor any of this yeah the feeling in this episode I was like well what's on cable reruns of old 70s shows that nobody would watch and that's the joke and Starsky and Hutch it's just Starsky and Hutch is such like of old 70s shows that nobody would watch and that's the joke and starsky and hutch it's just starsky and hutch is such like a hack 70s joke uh but i guess i've never seen an episode of the word huggy bear is funny in and of itself it is yes and i believe there was a semi-recent movie version of starsky and hutch 15 year old movie ben stiller and uh owen wilson yeah fight uh will ferrell and snoop dogg is Bear, of course. Why wouldn't he be? Who else?

Well, of course, the original guys show up in there. And, yeah, I forget who else is in that. The Cable Ace Awards doesn't exist anymore because the Emmys started allowing every channel to nominate their programs. The last one was 1997, so this joke was only good for two years. I remember one of my favorite shows ever, The Shield, was like the first cable channel to win an actor Emmy. It just never happened until the 2000s. Yeah, and it's now been the opposite situation where I've read stories in the last decade or so of grumblings from networks of like, why are we- This isn't fair.

We can't take chances. These are commercials for HBO. Why are we airing a commercial of HBO on network? And Amazon Transparent and Netflix who are now, like, it didn't take that long for them to get into the Emmys. And it is like, yeah, network TV can't be as artistically good as this

because you can't be. It's ad supported. They need people, as many people as possible to watch it. Can't alienate a single viewer. Hence the Big Bang Theory. I mean, that's why Big Bang Theory will always be the most watched thing. And there is no monoculture anymore. Game of Thrones would be a poorly rated show in 1995. Yeah, probably.

That's for sure. Like, it would be very low on the totem pole. But then we also get, fortunately, we don't have to play the death jingle for this guy. Crossing our fingers, we're recording this a couple weeks in advance. He was on a recent Gilbert Gottfried podcast telling some great stories. Yeah. Let's walk and talk. I have some wonderful stories about other famous people that include me in some way.

Ken, I've got to go distract fools at a rodeo. Hey, me too. We can go together. No, I'm going a different way than you, Dick. Your churlish attitude reminds me of the time I was having dinner with Groucho. Look, you're going to be having dinner with Groucho tonight if you don't beat it. Great joke. I love Dick Cavett being so self-effaced.

I love him making fun of himself. Yeah, it's like I have so many boring Hollywood stories that I've told. He's a professional name dropper. And I'm a massive name dropper myself, so I can appreciate that. But I love the mundaneness of Dick Cavett. We were doing a show at Elm Street Nightmare during the Halloween times. Yeah, that's right. He's the first celebrity cameo in Nightmare

on Elm Street 3, and he chose to be on a talk show. I looked into it. Dick Cavett had a talk show on every major network ever, and even at this point, I couldn't figure it out because no one really cares whether he was on ABC or USA Network at this time because he did have

a talk show during Nightmare on Elm Street 3. He chose to be possessed by Freddy Krueger and kill Zsa Zsa Gabor. He's like, oh, because I would never have her on my show. I mean, she'd be so boring and I would like to kill her. She was sort of like an aging model. I think she was famous from that era for slapping a cop. And that was why everyone hated her. The original Kardashian with even less talent.

She was the lesser Gabor. Ava Gabor. I put my money on that. And I had to say on that show, kids, you will only recognize Dick Cavett as the talk show host Forrest Gump meets John Lennon on. That's where you recognize him from. But I did. I sometimes turn to classic movies, plays old Dick Cavett interviews. And what I do love pointing out about it, there's a live studio audience.

They are mystified, never laugh. And you can hear like audible groans and yawns. Because what Dick Cavett did, and I think I just watched the Orson Welles come on. There's no band or anything, right? There's no band. There's no music. It's just a conversation.

Dick Cavett is the original podcast. He would just talk to people for an hour. No filler. There's awkwardness. Nothing is edited. I love Dick Cavett so much. It is wonderfully boring. I would imagine being a dork watching those shows like, boy, this is so different from Merv Griffin. Like, this is nothing.

This is not out to entertain me. And he's going to have a sprawling long conversation with John Lennon about like, well, don't people. I remember listening to. John Lennon was allowed to be on for five days straight because that was the format of the show. If you think about how like Mark Maron is famous just for getting people to open up or Howard Stern, that's who Dick Cavett was. He didn't have a high rated show, but it's like, you're going to get to have an intense

hour long conversation along the lines you'll never get on any other show. And he had on Groucho many times. I don't think he's talking about how much he knows Woody Allen these days. I don't think. But I've also heard him. It's a liability. He appears. He basically will be this guy on shows all the time still if you invite him.

He's like, yeah, I'll make fun of myself. He makes a great appearance on the second audio book of John Hodgman's trio of everything you need to know books. And Dick Cavett and him joke about how like they're both yalies and they're like well we know the secret yale handshake it's great he is a hoity toity high high society thing on television and despite not growing up with anything he did i find him to be one of the most recognizable celebrity cameos in both voice and appearance every time i see pretty fascinating and having dinner with a groucho is a great death threat so then homer is getting sick

of being a clown in the clown business. Apparently clowns are admired by the elderly. Yes, they're the only people who like him. And he then gets out of a ticket from Wiggum. I feel like Wiggum should have had a funnier memory than letting beavers loose in a pine furniture store. Something a little more bawdy. A little more rival, no doubt.

Then Homer starts finding out other things he can do, which I love the match cut to Homer's empty hand to then having money in his hand somewhere else. It's so beautiful. But this, this again could be line of the show. You mean I get 5% off on everything in the store just because I look like, I mean, just because I am Krusty the Clown?

How could I charge full price to the man whose lustful, filthy magazines kept me in business during that first shaky year. Oh, by the way, it is your new issue of Gigantic Assists. This very sly look on Apu's face holding the magazine is so great. It's just a bear ass. A giant ass. If it's not my line of the show, it's my image of the show.

I have accidentally posted this on instagram twice because of how much i love it his smug self-satisfied look conveys like a gigantic i know what you're into or that like he's also a fan yeah yeah it's this is the experience of buying porn from a human instead of on the internet of like sometimes you will get like yeah i get it i like this stuff too yes please if you want to imagine how horrible it was back in the day imagine your porn search history having to go through a poo every time you look for something i love the bluntness of the magazine named gigantic asses usually it's like cherry or what do you think they write about yeah well i i like i also like

that it it's i think it shows the the amount of pornusty takes. He's like, Playboy, Hustler, even Screw Magazine. That's so boring. I need to get more specific. I have gigantic asses. And Bart the Fink, the auction office porno. That's right, for a nickel. Well, I wish I brought more than that. I wish I brought more than that time with me.

God. And also that Homer is celebrating 5% off, which is like nothing, especially with the markups at the quickie mart look at this can of paint that was my best buy discount which they purchased the company i worked for five percent we're in the money starts playing like it's almost like it's tax-free yeah i uh and also yeah them eating together that luigi just seems to take crusty is like oh you have a new you have a new family i never really got it watching italians watching stuff with my dad he grew up with one foot in like serious new york italian

culture uh my grandfather i think his first generation italian like really hates wop grease but like totally would offend him because he grew up being called that while being chased and thrown stones at but but my dad like had one root in that and then he grew up, he spent most of his teenage through adulthood in Florida. But he would crack the fuck up over shit like this in a way I never really understood, but I fed off of. He still quotes the state sketch about the Pope, because all it is is Italian stereotypes

and love for Catholicism. Watching the monkeys do it, and he loves this guy, Luigi, and just the end sequence. We'll get there, James. Sorry. I only can see you scott mcbeth that's maybe the last time luigi insulted his restaurateurs i don't think this joke this bit about luigi's ever come that's the last twist i think they had on that joke yeah which and again homer's just walking around with a bucket of house paint but uh meanwhile other italians uh it's time for

crusty to pay up i am afraid the time has come for you to pay us look i'm cleaned out just take the clown college we have already taken it yeah it's had a lot of money these days so after you finish your performance you might consider robbing them look what can i tell you you can't get blood from a turnip you want to kill me go ahead and kill me oh hey hey all right okay already look we can talk this over no more talk it is time for us to take you for a ride oh no mind if i go to the bathroom first I see no harm in that. He can hear the plane. When he's done in there, I gotta go. I love all these sequences.

It's not even a written joke, but Krusty realizes he's going to die. Oh, no. Krusty being just weary is just a great sound to die. Oh, no. It's like Krusty being just weary. It's just a great sound to hear. Just all the... Is the Globetrotter stroke? Yeah, is the Globetrotter... Sorry.

Yeah, he bet on the Globetrotters. He bet on the general. I was shocked to see the wiki point out for this episode that apparently the generals have won. They won one game ever. The Harlem Globetrotters, again, I can't believe this exists and the Ringling Brothers do not.

I think we need to tell people it is sort of just a basketball stunt show where they're playing against villains. It's as real as the WWE. So you pay for the... It's not a continuing story. You pay to see the Globetrotters embarrass the generals and win. Only play the generals, and I've been to a bunch the globetrotters embarrass the generals only play the generals and

i've been to a bunch of globetrotters show you the sweet georgia brown georgia brown yeah and uh but they never lose and uh did you ever see his show i never did no i've only seen the clips i've never got to tell when either horribly embarrassed of a kid in my school because they're like who wants this t-shirt come on down like and they give him a t-shirt and like all right now put it on will flower and fan over you so no one can see you with your shirt off. And the second he took

his shirt off in unison, they all spread out like a fucking 1940s musical when his shirt was off and the whole crowd laughed at him. Oh, how dare they, man.

Curly. Oh, how dare they. They were using a frigging, I love that shit so much. He's spitting the ball on his finger. Just take it. You know what?

That's so good, I'm going to cut it in here. Let me get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name and bid it against the Harlem Globetrotters? I thought the generals were due. He's spinning the ball on his finger. Just take it. Take the ball.

That game was fixed they were using a freaking ladder for god's sakes but for the crusty betting on things that like he's betting on an opera he's betting on the harlem globetrotters like scripted thing yeah they take his bets too that i mean why would you talk him out of that yeah why in those dodges? Him dodging the bullets is beautiful, too. Way before the Matrix, here's a guy dodging bullets. Ironically, there was a story of, like, you can, in Vegas, bet on the WWE. Yes. Things based on fixed outcomes. And there was somebody on Reddit who was leaking the storylines and it fucked up the gambling ring.

Yes. Because you could easily predict who would win. They had to. Yeah, this was a recent thing that somebody got the smart money so good that they're like, they can forgive the smart money coming in if you're only going to win like a couple hundred dollars. Somebody won tens of thousands of dollars. And for that, they're like, all right, party's over. We're not taking WWE bets anymore.

So they catch Homer in crusty makeup. they have nothing he's homer and man both parts of speed holes again yeah this could be lying to show i love these eight lines of the show oh god damn it it's so good i want everything that's coming to crusty the clown which is me hey it's crusty all right should I shoot him gangland style or execution style? Listen to your heart. Well, I can't give you the car, Krusty, but I can let you have this little number for practically nothing. Only 38,000.

Hey, what are all these holes? These are speed holes. They make the car go faster. Oh, yeah, speed holes. You want my advice? I think you should buy this car. I just... I wish this was a putt at the nature. I'm kind of, like, speechless at this joke.

It's so great. And, like, the fact that the dealer is not very perturbed, he's just like, just buy the car. Yeah, bullets are flying everywhere. It doesn't bother him at all. But I also just love that i've been in that situation i think everybody can identify that of like you're trying to be the expert at a thing you're gonna have to spend money on but you don't know as much and so then a guy can say like oh no that's totally normal it's this word he's like oh yeah speed hole you're trying to look like you're smart yeah

i actually didn't know what Big Five was until somewhat recently. Not only did I not know what it was, I didn't know there's one in the city. Yeah, I mean, I think it's a Western chain of sporting goods stores that also sells guns and bullets. Yes, I think still you can get up there. According to the commentary, Groening was somehow inspired by this because OJ bought the knife he murdered. Allegedly murdered Nicole Brown-Sisson and Ron, what's his name? Goldman. He bought that at Big Five.

Poor Ron Goldman. But he's more famous than ever now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Just like the Luna Lounge. No, wait. What was the name of the diner? Well, who cares?

God, just Speed Holes. Yeah, and then Homer putting Speed Holes in his own car with a pickaxe. Yes, yeah. Well, before that, we get the show's second reference to Batman 89's mirror for the same sequence. Yeah, the same sequence. It fits more with Krusty than Lisa doing it, I'd suppose. There are two what I can read as in 2017 pro-trans jokes in this where it's like, Krusty, it's fine with breasts. Yeah, he's like, you hear me complain about the breasts?

And Homer is on board with Ralph wanting to... If he's a girl. Yeah. Or a boy. Whatever Ralph wants to be, he wants him to dream. Never give up with your gender expression, Ralph. And then also, like, Krusty, once Krusty has breasts, the first moment he is sexually harassed, he's like... How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner

and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels and much more. Making your

usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier and your world brighter find our net zero hub at electric island.ie hey hey like i think it maybe gave him some insight like hey sexual harassment is not cool i expected him to break the mirror but that that was not part of the parody i look exactly the same you idiot but his crow's feet didn't disappear he still had the line under his eye and that is a reference to the awful origin story of jack napier or the joker uh tim burton's 1989 also killed batman's parents will they get a load of me yeah well at least that fits with the age difference between him and michael keaton uh but yes then the speedos come

back again what would have been line of the show or scene of the show in another show, but this, I, I'll just play first. What you diddly doing, neighbor? I'm putting speed holes in my car. Makes it go faster. Is that so? Well, gee, maybe the old Flanders mobile could use that. Lucky I always keep a bible close to my heart oh lucky i was wearing an extra large piece of the true cross today i think i'll go inside

what keeps doing that i told you we should have bought more than three bullets let's just grab them so great what keeps doing that is a you we should have bought more than three bullets let's just grab him so great what keeps doing that is a great little tag too oh then homer can't realize he's being shot at and he says and just his look every time that ned is shot right in front of him about times no expression change i i think the first time i watched this i was shocked to see ned shot yeah i didn't think he was going to die i was was like, oh my God. Well, the way he flies backwards most of the time, it's so beautiful. Let alone saved by a Catholic tradition.

That's true. That doesn't fit with his Protestant ways. Yeah. Oh, but God damn it. I made a gif of it just constantly cycling of him getting up, shot, dropping the Bible, then getting up again, shot. Just the animation of his falling backwards is just beautiful. It's...

Yeah, and I love... God damn it, it makes me laugh so hard. I love him quietly sort of saying, like, I'm not going to push my luck anymore. And it's like, I'm going to go back inside. I was already saved miraculously twice. Twice, shot in the chest. Shot in the chest twice. We should have bought more than three bullets.

And that is sort of an action movie parody, right? In which the hero is shot or the best friend is shot. And he pulls out some sentimental thing out of his pocket. Well, that really happened in real true life to Teddy Roosevelt. He was shot. There was an assassination attempt before one of his speeches while being president. But it hit the speech. And though he was still bleeding,

he wasn't fine, but he's like, I'm going to give this speech. And he did it. What sort of thick-ass speech? It's classic. Back then, people gave hour-long speeches when you try to be president. Well, there was no radio or TV.

And their guns were less powerful. Yeah. And bully! There were no bump stocks in the earlyily in my only last remark bullet should be the most expensive things on the planet it's true also the the effort homer puts into hitting the pickaxe into the trunk of the front of his car which is his car is done like he just totaled his car the engine is dead he'll be piercing some important parts wonderful because it's the if you have to make speed holes a pickaxe is the most inelegant way to go about it. You can get a nice drill bit.

Do it from the bottom. Yeah. So they take in Homer, and then Homer, they're mad at Homer. They're mad at Barney. They even named Joe Veloci, which I did look this up. Joseph Veloci. He testified before the Senate in 1963, popularized the term Cosa Nostra, and he is the inspiration for the guy who talks like this in Godfather Part II, who talks to the Senate.

And he's the first person to acknowledge the existence of the Italian-American mafia. It happened in 1963, which really explains why the 70s had so many mob movies. It's like, oh, the mob is real. Let's talk about the mob now. In the 60s, they're like, yeah, are there mobs? I don't know. There's just palookas and now in the 70s like oh we've been given the blueprint of what the mob is so we can make more

accurate films about it right like yeah the structure and everything but yeah that's who that's who joe volace is guys who he died in prison in the 70s from a heart attack uh and yeah so then we meet character i wish he come back. He technically has appeared in background stuff, but this character has never appeared since. Don Vittorio DiMaggio. Rusty the Clown. Sorry, I have to do this, Rusty. I cannot do it. To murder a funny man of such a genius would be a crime. There's lots of great subtle character acting with him,

especially with the way he's moving his hands and gesturing with the gun and everything. His posture. Only Mr. Burns has that posture. And his yellowed teeth, too, that we see briefly up close. He's so great, it's just the plot device. He goes and says, Now the rules have changed.

I want this now. I would never do this. When really, he should just shoot Krusty in the face like that's that's the end of it but he's they also have a joke that he's constantly cocking back the gun more right that's making more noise to i recognize that as a quietly brilliant joke you can't cock a gun twice as much yeah like i'm pulling the hammer back even farther isn't that? So the only people who know less about guns, I think, are the Simpsons. But not the Simpsons writers. Well, Schwarzwalder will also write Cartridge Family.

Right, right. The ultimate gun episode of the Simpsons. But yes, so Homer is challenged to do the bicycle bit. Can't do it. I love the look on their faces as they think, like, he's doing it. Oh, he's not doing it. We are mad. How does Kr crusty get there

like why is he there i totally forget he because he couldn't change his face then he's like i gotta go back to face the music so that's that's why he comes back the fact that you did not do the trick well is the biggest insult of all hey guys i came to Oh, you got a deadly game of cat and mouse going? I'll come back. I'm seeing double here. Four Krustys. Krusty! Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot.

You came here to save me. Yeah, that's what I did. My apologies to you. I almost made a grievous error. Goodbye, Krusty. Wait! He can't kill anybody if he doesn't know which one's the real Krusty! Yeah! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Hop! Ha! Ha! I am confused. Good one, Krusty! Oh, crap.

Oh, God. I've said so many of those. Another line of the show for Krusty's. So, I am the annoying jackass that whenever there is two of something online i will reply i'm seeing double here for blank we all fucking do it all the time and it's not it's so not even that great a joke it is a fucking fantastic joke it's like the joke is uh you think he's gonna say two crusties but there's something wrong with his vision and that's what he's talking about yeah i just i think it is like one of the most quietly brilliant jokes on the level of board even all right all right i'm filibustering now

i'll give it i'll give it that it's just one of those things that like i i wouldn't have been able to predict that's still in 30 years later one of the most quoted sequences of this entire show i mean it really just pulls the rug out from under you like your expectations are just completely like flipped over and i also i've said many times, I am a confused. I just love him stating out loud, I am a confused. So the trick that is coming up with both Homer and Krusty on a tiny bike,

it is some of the most complex animation work done in the series to date and probably ever since. I've never seen anything this complex. There's a camera sequence, October just having passed, I see in almost all horror movies.

People running upstairs as the camera pans. Upwards as people run over the camera. There is no camera angle in The Simpsons like Krusty and Homer flying over the camera

as it moves. Yeah, it's like a bike jump during it. For the stupidest reasons. And like the pool table thing where they're drawn from this way different angle. That's such a complex character to draw. And the spin around on the bar stool yeah and also the cute

gag of them playing the godfather theme okay so you i i looked into that that is the godfather theme introduced by in 1972 written by uh nino rota but also with lyrics by larry kushik i didn't know like not unlike the last episode where we talked about, no, The Godfather did introduce this song as an instrumental. However, Andy Williams would get it on the Billboard charts.

With lyrics? And I've never heard it. If you'd like me to take a little time to pull it up. Andy Williams. So this is Andy Williams. The song was retitled from the love theme from The Godfather

to Speak Softly My Love. It charted to 34 on the Billboard charts in 1972. Wow. Speak softly, love, and hold me warm against your heart. I can't believe I've never heard this. The Godfather is really big with my family. Can you believe it? Yeah, my Italian side of the antistas, they used to get together and like,

no, you can't come in a room for a little while. I didn't know why. It's when The Godfather came out on VHS. I had to go sit alone with my sister and as my whole Italian family watched. It's like I'm looking in a mirror. Poor Krusty. God, them loving the godfather music though i mean that's kind of a joke that sopranos did too oh they love the godfather too yeah that all

that real life gangsters love gangster movies that they don't think like no the messages well it was gangsters are horrible i from the perspective of an italian they do talk about that in sopranos for a little while those types of movies were like the new western or Marvel movies. And as the original, what, disparaged race of America, you didn't see Italians being Italians a lot in movies.

No, really, they wanted more assimilation. And so then this was the opposite of that. It was pointing out, no, this is our Italian heritage. And the Sopranos will be the last of that because I am the remainder of the Italians. You're either white trash or you're me. You're all AJ. You're all AJ Soprano.

Or Meadow. Playing too much Mario Kart 64. Mario. Reading Howard Zinn's People's History of the United States. I recommend that book. It's a great book. They do the trick. I also love that when they finally cooperate That Krusty is better than him

But Homer finally catches the bike And he does the bell sound It's just beautiful How do they do that without asphyxiating? I want to know Yeah, it's magic You're not looking for the misdirection It goes down their throat

So the joke this episode goes out on If they could have I assume they would have done The that's all folks And the iris out Because it just is like Smashes to an end. It's beautiful.

Okay. Ta-da! Ah! Yay, Krusty! Grazie, grazie. You have brought great joy to this old Italian stereotype. No, no, Don Vittorio, you're not. Yes, I am.

I know it. I am. Anyway, thank you, Krusty. You're welcome. So we're even now, huh? No, we just won't kill you, but you still owe us the money. $48. Here's $50. And to

your change, and we thank you. The end. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. I don't think we'll ever get to a point where Italians are upset over their depiction in old media, because who cares? You're white people. Quit complaining. But, like, that will

always make it all okay. I am. I am. I know. I am. I just is acceptance of it, yeah. When we were watching, it just came out of nowhere that they were going to acknowledge the wild stereotype that was just happening. I love that. Even compared to Fat Tony, Legs, and Louie, that he's so much more extreme. Even more than Luigi.

Well, I'd say Luigi and him are equal in the stereotype. They both look swarthy, but technically, you could excuse every one of the Springfields mobsters as New Yorkers. Yes. Now they're officially Italian. I mobsters as New Yorkers. Yes. Now they're officially Italian. I love his little mustache, too. Yes. Very good. It's beautiful.

Yes. Again, the entire time they were ready to murder multiple people for $48,000. Oh, boy. $48,000. This episode. Ian makes change. No interest. Yeah.

He doesn't even take, like, it's like, you owe me money, but I'll still, you know, I'll honor this change agreement, too. But, yeah, like, this is like, you owe me money, but I'll still, you know, I'll honor this change agreement, too. But, yeah, like, this is, like, one of the best just pure gag-packed episodes. And I feel like this reminds me a lot of another one of my favorites, the PTA disbands, which is just, like, a ton of gags and just, like, a kind of screw-you, slam-to-a-halt ending. Oh, yeah, that's right. That kind of, like, doesn't make any sense. That's true. Yeah, no, this is, this might be the funniest episode. I think I've laughed more in this recording than I. That's true. Yeah. No, this might be the funniest episode.

I think I've laughed more in this recording than I have in any other. Yeah. I still stand by Bart's comic being my favorite, but this episode is perfect. And these were back to back. Yeah. Back to back. Two Schwarzwalders back to back. I think we had like eight lines of the show.

Yep. Yeah. And that David Silverman made it all hilarious. He went all out on this. This was a feature level animator doing a tv show and a tv budget the stuff they pulled off i'm like this did not even look like a high budget episode compared to bart's comment i was like this feels like the a team animators were on bart's comment yeah b team was on uh on homie the clown but god damn some of those

scenes are just amazing. I can't believe how good season six has been. We even did an episode of Laser Time that championed your favorite Simpsons season and let the people vote on it. Nobody picked six, and I'm like, that has to change. This is perfect. Yeah, this has given me way more. The only negative on six so far is

that it just has the worst clip show, but it's like, that shouldn't even count. Yeah, we have to discount that completely. But god damn it yes um so funny so funny oh damn really good thank you so much for listening folks i've been your host bob mackie you can find me on twitter as bob servo my other podcast is retronauts every monday and occasionally a bonus episode on friday find that at retronauts.com or look for retronauts in your podcast machine we've been around for like 11 years we've covered covered everything. We're going to cover more than everything soon. So please

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We occupy too much of your time. But we work really hard on those shows and we'd love to get more of you people back on board. You might, if you like the pop culture, deep dive, we do with the Simpsons as our guide, you might like laser time, which is a different topic every single week. Usually pretty fun. Both Henry and Bob have been on a bunch of times or 30,

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And, you know, if you like this specific going through a thing in order, you guys, you and Lizzie Cuevas, just did that with A Nightmare on Elm Street. It is a wrap. If you want more of it, well, it's going to need more listeners. So be sure to check that out. I think more movies, too, right?

There's one movie we didn't do. And I don't know that we ever will. I don't want to. It's like, it is, spoiler, it's the lowest rated on Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes, lower than Freddy's Dead, one of the worst movies of all time. It's that bad, and I just sort of don't want to see it.

We didn't need confirmation. I prefer Freddy as a child murderer and not a child molester. Well, you've got to get grittier with that Jack Roehling. Yes, that's right. He's too good at playing a child molester. So thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week with Bart vs. Australia.

See you then. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wow. Infotainment.