Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - I Love Lisa

Episode Date: December 14, 2016

We hope you choo-choo-choose to listen to this week’s podcast. It’s a Valentine’s Day classic where we get to know Ralph, Lisa breaks hearts, Krusty celebrates an anniversary, and we get to know our mediocre presidents…

this episode of talking simpsons is brought to you by gamefly and you listeners right now can go to gameflyoffer.com slash laser time to get a free month of unlimited games i heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, hoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, where you need a heart to live. I am your host for this one, Bob Deceitful Cow Mackie, and who else is here with me today? Christopher Prize Pig Antista. I'm Henry Gilbert, and I'm here to do a podcast. Oh, this is always death.

And yes, Talking Simpsons is the Lasertime Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. And today's episode is I Love Lisa. Nothing beats a good porno movie. Which aired on February 11, 1993. And Chris is going to tell us what happened on this mythical day in history. Oh my God! The parody film Loaded Weapon 1 tops the box office. President Clinton appoints Miami lawyer Janet Reno to Attorney General. And Apple introduces a new power book available for the first time with a color screen.

Wow. So I do remember Loaded Weapon 1. It was one of those jokes my parents would not explain to me and we were watching it together and they were they were interrogating a woman it was like kind of like a basic instinct parody and from the guy's perspective she was just a beaver yeah and my parents were laughing at that i'm like what it's silly but what does this mean and then only later i was like wait a minute i looked it up me oh i looked it up just for this.

It's Emilio Estevez and Sam Jackson starring in the Naked Gun of Lethal Weapon. The Naked Gun of Lethal Weapon movies. Both of those are dated concepts. It's so weird to see Samuel L. Jackson playing a parody of a part he'd play a million times later for real. Yeah. Just like, no, we're hiring you to be the actual crazy cop, not the joke version A year before Pulp Fiction. Well, it's no Silence of the Hams with Dom DeLuise, which exists and I think went straight

to video. And meanwhile, R.I.P. Janet Reno, another of 2016's Death Salon. Death! Stop! She wasn't on the show. She didn't do a voice? Okay.

After she burned down that crush compound, she flew over to the Simpsons. So, yes, today's episode is I Love Lisa, a classic, um, so where do we want to start with this one? Um, the fucking Monster Mash? Yes. Doing the Monster Mash with you on this beautiful Valentine's Day. Marty, why did you play that song today? There must be thousands of love songs.

Well, it's, it's kind of a love song. All the monsters enjoying each other's company, dancing, holding their evil in check. You played the wrong record, didn't you? I love that joke so much. Their back and forth is so great, and I couldn't tell I'd have to see the

original script to know if that was a post-show joke or not, because it bookends the show and it does it so greatly. The Monster Mash cold open is one of my favorite jokes they've ever done. It's great. Bobby Boris Pickett's The Monster Mash. I'll say it right here. One of the best songs ever made.

There's no laser times monster parties. That's a great episode. But nobody no character comments on it. It's never a thing. So I wonder if it's a post thing or not. They did have to animate Wiggum turning on the radio, but that could have been any song. The police radio. Yeah, and it could have been old animation.

You're right, Henry. I think we've been talking about this behind the scenes. We're seeing the holes in season four. As writers leave and people are working on the critic, they're building things out of old animation. They're doing episodes that are lacking guest stars they wrote them for. So, I mean, but it still works. It's still a good joke built out of old pieces. Yeah, and I went and got an old clip just because this is the show that kind of fleshes out Ralph as a character.

I think including giving him a last name and a lineage. Because when we were watching, what was it? Lisa's Pony. Lisa gets a pony. We see Ralph talks with the same voice actor who is, I forget who they are. That's Nancy. But it's... He certainly tamed that horse.

Yes, but what man can tame her? That's Ralph chiming in at the end. That's like a slightly nicer Nelson. But an articulate, refined Ralph Wiggum and uh love that chewing gum walk very regularly one of those guys was ralph so he was just like the con the smart commenting boy well he was called ralph originally as a he was supposed to be ralph crammed in yeah that was why he was called ralph but in the mr bergstrom episodes he he is definitely becoming the less intelligent ralph who's talking about

spyro keats and kevin biting me yeah but this is ralph becoming totally the ralph we know like this is this is that ralph episode to find ralph forever after i would say this is a very distinct and unique portrayal of ralph where he is aware of his own uh stupidity and shortcomings later he would just be straight up uh i guess guess the proper word would be intellectually disabled, where he's just oblivious to everything, just saying non-sequiturs and not understanding that he is a little dim. He becomes the joke monkey. It worked for a few years.

In this one, yeah, it's played on some levels, but first we get a bunch of scenes of valentine's day which are nice like bart's prank is more involved than some bart pranks like he has to takes a lot of work to paint those things a jeweler's eye like yes and then it's called a loop a loop yeah i love i love the cruelty of stapling over santa claus with the cupid at the old folks home and then a joke that never like felt like it should have become a runner, and I'm shocked they didn't do it, was that Barney's in love with Moe. Yeah. Do they ever do that again? I think it's one of the jokes from this era of The Simpsons and this era of the 90s where it's like, oh, this character is gay because that's funny and that they will never reference it again.

Like, Bart being gay was like was kind of like a runner throughout this like the possibility of Bart doing things I consider gay tie it to something else but that this joke was clearly that because reaction was clearly gay panic but but it's my one of my favorite jokes ever is when the this the brothel

episode and all the characters walking out and everybody gasp and there's nobody to gasp for Barney because Moe is the closest surrogate he has to a partner in life. Oh, Barney! It's so fucking funny. So if you talk, like, not that he's even a Moe-sexual, just that he's

the only person in his life. It's cute that Moe took it upon himself to be like, I will represent Barney because no one else will. And then, you know, I don't know if you ever witnessed your father doing this, but my father never remembered any date ever. And he didn't think like, but I think it wasn't that my father isn't forgetful like Homer. He just doesn't care and doesn't.

Thoughtless. Thoughtless, careless. Those are words for it. But like, didn't remember birthdays birthdays didn't remember anniversaries if he did remember valentine's day he would just stop at a drugstore on the way home and buy a thing of hearts like a rose in a tube yeah or the rose chocolate box from uh walgreens which i had to do for my lady one year i went to her hometown and i'm like i need to slip away for a second and get something. I couldn't. I had to buy something at a drugstore and it was just very obvious that off-brand

chocolate box you get at CVS. And then that follows up with a Maude joke, which does just make me sad. Ned singing to Maude in the window. Sorry, I didn't mean to be on the author. I do like the joke of Homer forgetting because it kind of

exaggerates what we've seen before. Homer lying and then making an excuse when you hear the car speeding away. This time he runs upstairs. We see him falling out the window. They all saw him. They would know. He should know he saw them. But his excitement, I could identify that as just like, just take a guess.

Valentine's Day. Yep. Yeah! But we also get just a jump. we get to meet the new Ralph. Wait, real quick, the Apu thing, this was like the meanest Apu had been to Homer. He had only just been the friendly Mr. Homer guy, but this is him extorting $100 out of Homer. Apu, you gotta help me. I need valentine's gift for my wife perhaps this might be appropriate yes you saved my life how much 100 what that's highway robbery i won't pay it

oh i think you will all right but i'll never shop here again if he discovers the discount supermarket next door all is lost Nickel off on expired baby food. Sold! So did that scene just end with him paying it? Because that was all Frankenstein together. The nickel off on expired baby food. Oh, I didn't notice that. I usually notice those things. And the sold was the total season three shot.

So they reused some stuff there. It's more padding. I'm more noticing in every episode. Was a poo blowing the dust off of the chocolate box, too? They're old chocolates. When he wiped it off over love. Yeah, which everybody loves ashy chocolates on Valentine's Day. It's my stage name.

But okay, yes. Elementary school. Ralph's introduction. Everything about this scene is great. Miss Hoover, can we exchange our valentines? Not just yet, Janie. First, we're going to construct paper mailboxes to store the valentines.

Isn't that just pointless busy work? Bullseye, get cracking. Yes, Ralph. My parents won't let me use scissors. The children are right to laugh at you, Ralph. These things couldn't cut butter. Now, take out your red crayons. Miss Hoover? Yes, Ralph.

I don't have a red crayon. Why not? I ate it. All this brings back horrible memories because I did for one, when I switched to a new elementary school in third grade, I thought I gotta do something to stand out and I ate a crayon and I became like the guy who yeah for a little while like just feed him a crown he'll eat

crowns deferentista yeah crowns deferentista so that's it by the end of the by midpoint in the episode ralph's just dumb but in this in these scenes it's played in a way well not pitiable but that he is he's aware he's conscious enough he's aware enough that he he like looks left and right like people are laughing i said this thing and they're laughing i got attention like he knows he knows him saying uh my head is glued to my shoulder like it's nervous laughter of a class clown except he's a class clown too because he is such a dweeb. I also do love that Miss Hoover is so... It's underrated ability of her to just be so on the nose of like, yeah, this is pointless, busy work.

Waste time. Bullseye. I thought it was funny because I guess they're drawing from them, the writers are drawing from them growing up in the 50s and 60s and doing this. I did this in the 80s, making the little mailbox, and you had to write a valentine for everybody. There was no selective valentining. That's how this wouldn't work in real life. You can't buy every time... Here's an interesting experiment. And you had to write a Valentine for everybody. There was no selective Valentining. Yes, that was the rule. That's how this wouldn't work in real life. You can't buy every time.

Here's an interesting experiment. If you want to know how our public education system is doing and how sardine-like the classrooms are getting, go into a Walgreens on Valentine's Day and see how many Valentines come in a box. It went from like 12 to 18 to 30 because you have to cover the whole class. You have to cover the whole class.

And at least 30, you've got to you have to cover the whole class you have to cover the whole class and at least 30 like you gotta buy enough to cover everybody and yeah that was that was the rule though i remember as a kid one year i gave i was like okay you gotta give one to everybody but i'll give two to this person i this girl i have a crush on and i'm gonna give her two you gotta crush this is before i knew things about myself well i was only going with the girls because you're supposed to supposed to that's a that's a futurama reference but so that was my way around it of like yes everybody gets one but you get two valentines because you're extra special to me but i don't yeah i don't know if if this scene is because just to service the plot, or I do think everybody getting a Valentine is an institution of our lifetime.

Yeah, everybody gets a trophy, man. Well, yeah, so what? When you think everybody loves you, you gotta work for it. Everybody does deserve a trophy. Why shouldn't you be, if you're forced to celebrate a national holiday, everybody should be allowed to celebrate.

And that includes everyone getting a fucking Valentine and some candy. But I bet the writers probably when i hear my dad's stories and or like charles schultz has several valentine's day episodes about charlie brown never getting valentine's because you only gave it to the people you liked and no one likes him uh but and that and you i really did i still feel for ralph because i was i was also the unpopular kid in a class. Oh, man. Here you go, Ralph. You choo-choo-choose me?

Happy Valentine's. That very specific instance of that happening to me. I was just this dork who was just always standing around people and all the cool guys and the cool girls were writing notes to one another to revel in their sexual aggression in an appropriate southern Florida Christian way. And giving notes to one another. So every day they'd pass

notes and it would just happen around me. Like in slow motion. All these guys and girls communicating. And one day this one girl, I remember a beautiful girl named linen like oh oh would you you can write me a note if you want i'm like i can i go home i like study poetry like pour through it rewrite because you're so cruel you're so cool you're overthinking his note and then i bring it to her and she like why did you oh like she totally forgot that she threw me a pity bone uh it was it's one of those memories that stands out yeah like this so this i mean this also awakens a comp what doesn't wake in a complex is one i

fight every day of my life and i think i've gotten better at, but it came around Ralph's age too of just feeling like, you don't actually like me, you pity me. And that is what, that was the thing that threw my head all the time. Being somebody else's burden. I have to do something about you

and it's going to be painful. In fifth grade, a girl in class who I wanted to be friends with, she hated me, but her mom was like worked at the school and saw how sad i was and made her invite me to her birthday party which was like the mom thought it was doing me a favor but i knew i wasn't wanted and i had the opposite because like i didn't know i was being shown pity. It was just like this brief shining moment where someone sticks up for me in front of a bully. Or like, no, he's cool.

Check this out. And then giving me an opportunity to shine. A couple people did that for me. A couple kids, peers in southern Florida. Middle and elementary school. I totally got that service. And it didn't fly. It totally flew over my head that that was pity.

It just felt good. Yeah. And I encourage you to encourage your children to do that for other children. No, I just saw it as pity. I couldn't get it out of my head. And so then now when just people are nice to me or are being helpful to me and I don't know them well enough, I'm like,

you're just pitying me, aren't you? I want to go back to the choo-choo-choose me. There's an origin to that. It was on the commentary. It was Al Jean's idea because he received a Valentine as a kid that said that exact same thing and he always wondered,

did that girl really like me? And later in life... I choo-choo-choose you. I really do. It says on the inside. The last Valentine's that I bought was a joke. WWE Valentine's.

Yes. And just looking at how they don't say things like that. They don't like even be mine isn't really there. And the WWE ones are like

have a slam-tastic Valentine's Day. My Spidey sense says have a great Valentine's Day. My Valentine's Day sense is you're awesome. But they're just about yeah you being awesome

non-sexual thoughts and you being dead is my kryptonite. But choo-choo-choo's thing, Bob, you're saying. Oh, yeah, and that is what he engraved on his second wife's wedding ring. Oh, shit, really? Before this episode came out?

What's that? No, it was after. Much later, yeah. She was a writer for the show as well. That's how they met. And they had a second wife and got that engraved got that engraved and they went to they're the ones who they got married like at the fox lot like they just said disgusting hey the rest of the writers come we're getting it well second it's their second wedding you don't take

it seriously you're just like okay come to the cafeteria and then they went to ireland where that's why he on a previous one we talked about The Quiet Man. He talks about watching that on his honeymoon. That's right, yeah. We learned so much about Al Jean. The Vietnam flashback bit, by the way. Yes. So great. It's the continual ramping up of...

Johnny! Bart like, I broke his brain. That's a way to joke about PTSD. Yeah, I mean, it is kind of cruel, but Matt Groening points out on this commentary. It's one of my favorite commentary moments. It's a great one. And he talks about how, I think he reveals in this commentary for the first time, he's like, I based Bart on my brother, Mark.

And he's a Vietnam vet and he thinks this is funny. So we thought we had license to do that. So maybe, maybe it's okay. And they said that they got a letter from a Vietnam vet that said this is not funny and then the best joke is Frank Mula the writer of the episode says you should have written back and said

there was no Vietnam oh my god I still I'm sorry I understand PTSD is a thing if you do it on an intercom in an elementary school, it is going to be funny no matter what. That story will always be funny.

I think what caused it to get a little more distance is that it is very clearly an Apocalypse Now joke. He has, in case you didn't notice, he's not just shaving his face the way Martin Sheen shaves his face in the movie, but there's the file with a photo of Kurtz next to Skinner on the boat. It has a filter on it. It's not a flashback filter. That's the first time we actually

see Skinner in Vietnam, is that correct? Yeah, on his swift boat for truth. Yes. He was enough of a hero. I miss being mad about that. What simpler times. Oh, the beef hearts too, baby. The beef times. Yes. But this is an awkward... Oh, the bee farts too, baby.

The bee farts are great. Do your job, heart boy. This is me talking to the first girl I thought liked me, so even if I didn't, I had to try and engage. Can I walk you home, Valentine? Sure, I guess. That Valentine sure was funny. Glad you liked it.

It says, choo-choo-choose me. And there's a picture of a train. Yeah, nice gag. So, do you like stuff? I mean, that is my conversational date move to the state I've thought of that on like bad dates or getting to know a prospective partner like I've thought of that Ralph line like do I sound like this back when I was watching this I was entering that horrible horrific

era of puberty where like I just whatever it takes to get to titty just whatever magic say or do whatever i don't know what i'm supposed to do once i get to but you're searching i have to i heard girls like if you beg chris it took me another decade to figure it's so uh i think this episode i'm gonna applaud it that it really you it gets inside lisa's side of it that you don't there's so so so many things in pop culture especially back then that were just like this dude has a crush on a woman who's not interested in him but it's from his viewpoint this is lisa who from the beginning they make it very clear

she only pitied him she is not interested in him and she is being as clear as she can but in a nice way of like i'm not interested in you ralph like it wasn't even that she can, but in a nice way of like, I'm not interested in you, Ralph. But it wasn't even that she wasn't interested in him. She's a little girl who's not interested in anybody. She's also eight. And she didn't even explain it. Like, he's stupid and gross. It was more that like, I just don't want to do that at all.

Yeah, she's not ready. And Ralph and her have nothing in common. Also. That's true. And so I love her rushing in and locking the door like that's a great sound joke and then she runs right into I like seeing Bart and Homer

watching cartoons together. It's sweet. I love it when Homer and Bart are laughing their asses off at the same itchy and scratchy cartoon. About needing a heart to live.

I'm watching Looney Tunes with my father and mother who did at some point see all these cartoons like oh I remember this one and they make me laugh harder because they're laughing out of their own nostalgia whereas I'm sort of experiencing Bugs Bunny for the first time.

And it's nice to feel united with your parents. Oh, yeah. It is a nice feeling. And taste. And it's here we learn about, we get more of a taste of the history of Krusty's show. They hate Johnny Carson so much this season. They really do.

All of these clips are just pure Johnny Carson moments. But what's great, though? Some of which we've seen before, like the animals interacting with him. They've done the Krusty is Johnny Carson, but it's that Krusty has done every style of show throughout every period while being a clown. It's so weird. I mean, like, so it's the 29th anniversary of the show. The show was written in 92, implying that it starts in 63. We see one clip from 63.

Which, by the way, the year before Carson had had his 30th anniversary special, and then the next year he retired. So it's so specific about that even. Oh, wow. But the first clip they show is very specific. Hey, kids, don't forget to watch my 29th anniversary show featuring clips like this one of Sideshow Mel whacked out on Wauwee sauce.

Wauwee sauce. Everyone's always kissing your ass. Well, I'm not afraid to tell you you're a... Oh, I'd give anything to go to that show. I saw my firstborn son. Hey! You'll do as you're to go to that show. I'd sell my firstborn son. Hey! You'll do as you're told.

Love that line. By the way, you see that recycling of clips there to you'll do as you're told? Homer must have said a different joke after instead of I'd sell my firstborn son, he must have said something else. You mentioned it as an aside before we started recording that Sideshow Mel calls Krusty an asshole. You can see the lip movement. I get it now. The lip movement is very specific to asshole. All right, so that scene is a very specific

recreation of a moment from The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, April 8th, 1977. All the guys working on the show were drunks. They're all drunks. And coquettes. Ed McMahon is just drinking booze out of a coffee cup throughout every episode of The Tint Show. I'm doing the exact same thing.

You're not in front of a national audience. We'll know what's paying us. So on this one, I cut out the first minute where it's a little more meandering, but they're talking about the zoo woman who comes on the show and presents stuff, and Ed has been slurring his words

and also getting very upset with johnny over little things johnny's just trying to calm him down but also looking at the camera like this guy's drunk you all see this right so this this is where it gets even better whacked out on wowie sauce for your people at home uh try and turn down the volume of johnny carson's suit in this clip what the fuck fuck, man? It's blinding me. Looks like the executive bathroom floor, if I can make a sense of that. John is an animal handler and a trainer. And you really think you're fooling everybody, don't you?

No, no, no, no. I'm just here to do my best to help you. I know that. And she does her three horse shows a day. Did you know that? At the animal park. Boy. What? What the animal park. Boy. What? What an exciting idea.

Would you like an army cot or something? Maybe kind of catch up on a little nappy poo? Just might snap you right out of it. I love Joan.

I'm the only one who went down to see Joan. Doc has never seen her. You've never seen her. I went to the animal park. It's all right. It's all right. It's okay. but you're upsetting me no i don't upset you i went down jonah i know you did that's all right don't say no what i don't know her i went down i know you did

i know you went down there and i couldn't go went down there. I held a baby gorilla. I couldn't go with you that week. You held a baby gorilla. Good, all right. And let's get her out here quickly. Wow. I think Johnny Carson is only half drunk. I'm barely connected to the world of Carson.

That video on YouTube has one million views. So this is clearly a very famous moment. It's the official Johnny Carson YouTube account. on YouTube has one million views. So this is clearly a very famous moment that people of our age and younger YouTube account. And I'm shocked they didn't title it Wowie Sauce or whatever. They're just very direct. Ed McMahon appears drunk on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show. I like the appears.

Like, no one can sue us. It's the appears. Well, he's dead anyway. You can say whatever you want about it, dead man. So that is what they're directly referencing i'm sure that is one of several clips of him drunk that's the most famous one that's that's the one i always saw in the clip packages so it's why i identified with it too and uh then that goes straight into homer i also speaking of love life thoughts ah sweet pity where would my love life

be without it sweet pity that is that is also me it without it? Sweet pity is... That is also me. It would be my line of the show, if not for another, just something I've adopted into my regular speech every day that happens later. Ralph thinks I like him, but I only gave him a valentine because I felt sorry for him. Ah, sweet pity, where would my love life have been without it? What do you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested? Well, honey, what...

Let me handle this, Marge. I've heard them all. I like you say to a boy to let him know you're not interested? Well, honey, let me handle this, Marge. I've heard them all. I like you as a friend. I think we should see other people. I know speak English. I get the idea. I'm married to the sea. I don't want to kill you, but I will. Honey, honey, I tell this boy that you're very flattered,

but you're just not ready for this kind of thing. Thanks, Mom. And if that doesn't work, six simple words. I'm not gay, but I'll learn. That's my line of the show. He upped it from three simple words. I am gay. I'll give it to you, Hank.

He burned it. Thank you. Mine would have been, Ralph shows up and swears to do anything for the father of the woman he loves. The tar fumes are making me dizzy. Yeah, they'll do that. I do say that.

Is Homer in a hammock? Yes. Oh, yeah. Actually, I was responding to a tweet about The Last Guardian, and I was like, don't make fun of Trico, the sweet dog boy. And somebody said, he just ate me. And I was like, yeah, he'll do that. All right.

So before that line is the massive revelation of this episode it's a reveal it's a full-on it is quite a reveal in my house when the camera pulls out and we see who ralph's dad is uh my mom and i were both i remember being like he's his dad oh my god it's perfect in camp crusty we hear wiggum ralph. Yes. As they're throwing out the different mail. She says, Wiggum, and throws them in. And it is Ralph, but an off-model Ralph. But it is his voice that says, my insulin. So Ralph is diabetic.

I'm one of those people. I have this a lot watching Seinfeld. I have no confidence in my own memory. I just assumed, this has been going on the whole time? What did I miss? What did I miss? Chief Wiggum is Ralph's dad? They admit on the commentary, it was just, they're like, oh yeah, he should be the dad.

And then it's funny. And they had no other plans than that. And it is funny. It's perfect. They also say because they didn't plan it, that's why, unlike Milhouse and other parents, they don't look exactly like their kid. It's true, yeah. I forget her name, but Miss Wiggum looks exactly like... kid. It's true, yeah. Even though, I forget her name,

but Miss Raven looks exactly like... Oh, Clancy. Clancy. Clancy. But in him, him shooting the nut... I didn't capture it because it's such a visual scene.

Please watch just that scene. All the rest of you nuts. It's a great metaphor for how he gives advice and then immediately destroys that advice. He's like, keep going at it, never lose your cool. And then he just fires at the nut with his gun. Remember that, RSU nuts.

He doesn't even unbutton his shirt, he just forces his belly through it. And he goes, oh yeah. And that Ralph is in shock that he shoots the gun. I'm sure he's used to it. I have to close my ears, but this is when he shoots his his gun and also just the supreme unsafeness of he's breaking nuts with a loaded gun with the barrel with the barrels pointed at his chest yeah like so he's oh it's so great it's great

movie as he's eating donuts off the off the barrel yeah he shoots his hat off so that was close so i think we have one more john Carson reference. Again, we saw this with the wolf in... Marge Gets the Job. That's right, yeah. The exact same kind of scene where it's like Krusty being Carson interacting with an animal and it goes wrong. It's a lot faster now. Hey boys and girls, only four days

till my anniversary show. 29 years. When I came on they said I wouldn't last a week. You know where those reviewers are? All dead. How you I came on, they said I wouldn't last a week. And you know where those reviewers are? All dead. How you doing on there, fellas? Eh? Eh? Anyway, now why do they call this a urine monkey?

Oh, just found out. That's funny for so many reasons. We have to go to that show. Forget it. To get those tickets, our parents would have to be part of Springfield's cultural elite. Can you believe Flanders threw out a perfectly good toothbrush?

Yeah, actually, this reminds me, there's a weird, like, I would call it an F story, because it's like two scenes of Homer stealing things from Flanders. It goes nowhere. He's just been doing it. I only got that sound because it's the most Doug sound effect I've ever heard in my life

because it sounds like Dan Castellaneta making toothbrush noises. Okay, what is he saying you about? Homer knows a toothbrush from the garbage should be gross, so why would he realize now? It tastes worse than he could ever imagine. Homer's stupid. He's like, why would it be? That's the beauty of the joke. Why would he realize now? It tastes worse than he could ever imagine.

Homer's stupid. He's like, why would you throw out a perfectly good toothbrush? And it's like, it's been in the garbage. It's been used. It could be used to have clean things like a toilet. You never know. I do like the that's funny for so many reasons. That's them even commenting on themselves of how cheap the urine monkey is.

The urine monkey is such a great joke. The urine monkey. Again, we have a forum on laser time that that name has to be available and that logo of crusty in the al hirschfeld style that was drawn by david silverman who is an al hirschfeld super fan who even like has a drawing of himself drawn by al hirschfeld because you could commission work from it i'll tell you how how authentic this is like in every al hirschfeld i think think every Al Hirschfeld caricature, you can find the word Nina

hidden inside of it because that's his daughter's name. And you can find that in the Krusty caricature. Yes, the word Nina. That's amazing. I didn't know that. You one-upped me there, Bob.

Man, this show has so many great clips. I love how it gets... Yeah, they'll do that. Yeah, they'll do that. But the idea that... It's a brilliant stroke to make Ralph's father Wiggum because, I mean, he starts throwing his weight around once his son... It looks like this is the first thing Ralph has ever asked for.

That's just me inferring that. But even Hoover is compromised. I've selected the cast for our President's Day pageant. Martha Washington will be played by Lisa Simpson. George Washington will be played by Ralph Wiggum. What? This is a travesty. Everyone knows I'm the best actor

in this ridiculous school. Sit down, Rex. I will not sit down. Someone's gotten to you, you deceitful cow. It's absurd, Rex. Ralph won the part fair and square that's the signal take the boot off the car boys corrupt cops i never i have a lot of things to say about this so rex we only see him in this

episode he's like the acting the fey temperamental acting child it's a great name for a little boy born in 1940s actors well he's based on re on Rex Harrison from My Fair Lady, which is also Dr. Doolittle. That too, but it's also the voice that Seth MacFarlane is doing when he does Stewie. He is Stewie, saying you deceitful cow. That's just a Stewie line. Who does his voice here?

That's Dan Castaneda. It's credited as Michael Carrington. I saw that on Wiki too. That's so wrong. I wasn't trying to figure that out, but we'll get to it in a second. And I have one more thing to say. You'll hear Michael Carrington soon enough. That's what I thought. Like, Miss Hoover is like a superstar in this episode.

She has never used more than she has in this episode. She's even like lecturing Bart and disciplining Bart. Yeah, that's true. Were they just like, we don't want to pay for Edna? Like, we don't want to pay. It's just like, we're not giving her the money this week. The Simpsons will be right back. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea

level to tell our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care? Thank you fine folks for listening. Hope you're not too bored. You know what the perfect solution is for being bored and always has been? Goddamn vidya games. That's why this episode is brought to you by Gamefly.

And just so you know, you listeners can go to GameflyOffer.com slash LazerTime and get started with a free 30-day trial of the service. What is Gamefly? It's like Netflix, but for games. You should know that by now. You create a queue.

They ship out two to three games to you. It's up to you. You play them for as long as you want, ship them back, and they'll just keep on shipping stuff from your queue.

This is a great way to save money on not only playing a bunch of new releases, a bunch of old releases. Because not only does Gamefly have over 8,000 titles ranging from PS4, Xbox One, Wii U, PS Vita, they go all the way back to original Wii, the original Xbox, PS2 in certain cases. I know, right? And to sweeten the service even more, Gamefly allows you to buy a game back. Have you kept it out for a long time? Do you want to just keep it? Are you that settled into the multiplayer? You can buy that game back. Have you kept it out for a long time? Do you want to just keep it? Are you that settled into the multiplayer?

You can buy that game back from Gamefly at an extremely reduced cost, and they'll send you the box and manual as if you purchased it anywhere else. Once again, you don't have to take my word for it. You can get started with a 30-day free trial for yourself by going to gameflyoffer.com slash lasertime. You like Las time shows then you might like bonus time laser times weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash laser time here's a taste of what you've been missing my story though so

for a long time we've had this picture hanging up in the living room. But it seems like more of a kitchen item. It's like, let's move this into the kitchen. Okay. So I put one nail in, and I'm like, good. Well, it says, you know, if I go here and go here, this is where the next stud should be based on every other wall in our house. So this is where the stud should be. There's no light fixture on that parameter.

So I'm not going to, like, bust an electrical anything so I'm clear. This is where the stud should be. There's no light fixture on that parameter. So I'm not going to bust electrical anything. So I'm clear. Nice. Hammer two. All right. Little resistance here. So I'm going to hit it harder.

Kabam. I hear a torrential downpour of water gushing at maximum speed. Oh, my God, really? And I'm like, let me. And I take the nail out of the wall. Oh, it squirts you in the eye. And I swear to Christ, like a Bugs Bunny cartoon struck oil, water shoots out in a perfect arc at high pressure through the entire kitchen and hits me in the fucking face. Goes all over the floor.

My instinct immediately what do you think you do? Put your mouth on the hole. Put your finger over it. I put the nail back in. And it fucking works. It sounds like a fucking waterfall. Holy shit. And it's, by the way, it is 10 o'clock at night on Saturday. Oh my god. Okay, first thing, we have

to call a plumber. I call one. There's a lot of, quote, 24 hour places She's like, okay, can I get some information? Like, fucking fine What's your full name? And your email address? And what's that zip code? And can I also get a

The whole lobby Our apartment is above a garage And a lobby And it is filling with water. And she's like, the soonest we can get out is tomorrow morning. Like, did you not hear what I said? And tell me your availability first before I spell my old Counter-Strike name in my email. Get bonus time, laser times weekly, full-length, uncensored, and ad-free Patreon-exclusive podcasts,

as well as weekly full-length movie commentaries, wrestling and cartoon video commentaries, physical rewards, the first season of Talking Simpson, and more at patreon.com slash lasertime, starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live, and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. But Krusty knows what side his bread is buttered on and has given tickets to Ralph. In the trunk. Yeah, in the trunk. And also the Bart holding up the Krusty Home pregnancy test

that says make... Oh, you got it all. Okay, we're good. Tickets to the Krusty Home pregnancy test that says make. Oh, you got it all. Yeah. Okay. We're good. Tickets to the Krusty anniversary show. Oh, you must want me to go with him. Oh, it isn't fair.

I'm 10 times the Krusty fan you are. I even have the Krusty Home pregnancy test. I'm not sure I should go. I don't even like him. You're right, Lise. You shouldn't go. It wouldn't be honest. I'll go, disguised as you.

What if he wants to hold hands? I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. What if he wants a kiss? I'm prepared to make that sacrifice. What if he... You don't want to know how far I'll go. Another Bart could be gay joke. Gay for pay.

But that reference there is like, that's too far. They're eight. Ralph won't want to do anything else than a kiss ralph will want to fuck you and your dick yeah do we have a clip of how wiggum got those tickets uh well the first the pregnancy nothing beats a good porno movie but so first the pregnancy test says it may cause birth defects which yeah if it's something you have to pee on how can it even do that it's like how do you maybe have to put it in yet so well like we didn't we you don't have the clip chris but it's just you have to pee on, how can it even do that? Like, how do you? Maybe you have to put it in you.

So, well, like, you don't have the clip, Chris, but it's just like, I feel like this could be the dirtiest joke. It is. Wiggum is telling the kids about how he busts Krusty in a porno theater. And there is a great, like, tag on this, which is made of reused footage, but it's also very disgusting. It's a good porno movie. Chief Wiggum, is this a bust? Yeah. That's just what it is also very disgusting. It's a good porno movie. Chief Wiggum, is this a bust? Uh, yeah. It's just what it is, a bust.

That story isn't suitable for children. Really? I keep my pants on in this version. So, yeah, Wiggum was... The police even goes, it's one of the dirtiest jokes in the city ever. Chief Wiggum was beating off in a porno theater. Well, I mean, now that we know, what else do you do in a porno theater?

So, Paul Rubens, in July 1991, was arrested. Unfairly. In Sarasota, Florida, my home state. And so, this is a very direct reference to a children's entertainer being caught in a porno theater. It is a very direct reference to the peewee thing. But right before this, it was Homer hanging Ned's diploma on the wall. From Oral Roberts University,

which is a Christian college. Yes. But why did Ned throw that out? That's what I want to know. That's one Homer had to break into his house and take. And he's like,

you do mean stealing, don't you? Like, that was a good line. Ah, yes, I had that one as well. Is it right to take things from people you don't like? Sure it is, honey.

You do mean stealing, don't you? Well, actually, it's not as bad as stealing, but my conscience is bothering me. Your conscience? Lisa, don't let that pushy little weenie tell you what to do. Homer, that's a terrible thing to say. Oh, shut up. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

So Homer's weenie conscience isn't doing so hot, and he'll be dead in about four episodes, and he'll be buried in the ground by evil Homer. And he has the same voice as the recruiter of the Communist Party. I don't know if you guys agree with me, but I feel like this Homer stealing stuff probably was the B-plot until they just erased most of it, and they felt like the Lisa stuff was the strongest. There could have been a payoff to it, but it's just like two scenes, and that's it. They saved their best jokes from it. it yeah let's save those two jokes but then the next scene is where we hear

michael carrington that as the announcer of this crusty thing and the voice of side show we watch as much the show as we have like who is that who is that guy angry young man yeah if it's not one of these six main characters or a guest star it's probably michael carrington if it sounds like a black person because he is the only black guy that simpsons writers apparently know who's a writer well there was the guy who uh created the pj so i think uh he is a black man and he was a writer maybe for the oh yeah he was the one yes no no i forget his name but uh on a classic Simpsons commentary moment. Okay, so flash forward to the Mensa episode. Yes.

Where they make fun of East St. Louis. And so one of the writers on the show, or a friend of a writer on the show, who later would become a writer on the show, is a large black man who is from East St. Louis. And so he got... Larry Gilmore created the PJs? That's him, yeah. Louis. And so he got... Larry Wilmore created the PJs? That's him, yeah. Actually, I don't know if he's from there,

but he pretended to be the mayor. Yeah, so he... No, it's not Larry Wilmore. It's a different guy. Okay. Steve Tompkins? Yeah, Steve Tompkins. So he's pretending to be the guy from East St. Louis

who is then threatening the writer of the joke. It was Matt Selman. It was Matt Selman. He's threatening Matt Selman and saying, like, I'm the mayor of East St. Louis was Matt Selman. It was Matt Selman. He's threatening Matt Selman and saying like, I'm the mayor of East St. Louis. You really hurt my feelings. Can I just get a moment alone with him?

And I'm just like, sure. I'll tell you what. Actually, I just heard this commentary like a few weeks ago, Henry. Wow. So someone from East St. Louis called Matt Selman on the phone like, why are you making fun of our city?

And he said, because it's a crack-ridden slum. And he was like, I thought that was so funny and so he got his comeuppance by having Larry Wilmore or Steve Tompkins whoever it was it was not Larry Wilmore no Larry Wilmore come on impersonate impersonate the mayor come on Larry Wilmore man

but meanwhile Michael Carrington is their only African American friend from Harvard I guess he's the one guy that I like but he is funny and he wrote the heart attack episode we just Elmer's triple bypass co-wrote it

with Richard Powell and so he is the announcer here and he plays Sideshow Rahim which was a joke they cut out of some airings this is my confession I've been watching off a torrent to make it easier for me to capture sounds from it, and I didn't see Sideshow Rahim at all.

It's not a great joke. Those syndicated episodes have the same consistent cuts throughout. They're decided way ahead of time. I like angry. Angry young man. So, another production note on it. When Krusty throws to the president In the audience

They animated both Bush and Clinton Because they didn't know who it would be And so they subbed in Clinton at that time And according to Groening He had to pressure them to have a Clinton scene Because no one thought he would win Apparently on the writers But I did love the Robert Frost

poetry reading because Conan O'Brien is producer on the show credit at this point one of my favorite moments in the show he does this

Conan O'Brien does this exact thing on his late night show to Tom Hanks that's right the exact same thing and he says almost the same thing

like yeah sure a little snow would be fine and he dumps a giant load of snow on Tom Hiddens. It's so fucking funny. Hey, Frosty, you want some snow, man?

We discussed this, and I said no. So that clip is from 1963. Robert Frost died January 29, 1963. That probably killed him. Yes, that's what kills him. Asbestos-laden fake snow. And right before that, Krusty whiffing his monologue joke. Again, just cruelty to Carson.

It's them pointing out, like, Carson's monologues aren't even funny. No one would laugh at him. Just the applause, applause, and nobody. It's like people would laugh at his first joke on his anniversary show they wouldn't be silent i heard i can't be the only fan in the world i heard a story about carson recently and it was like basically he was like oh they're making fun of me i'm gonna quit because he knew that that that was time to quit when they start making fun of you and this is like one example of how he was like out of decades of television as being

television's coolest man. Yeah. And when they start making fun of you, yeah, it's over, man. And only going back and listening to, I forget what I was watching, the televised 90s version of a podcast, but comedians hated Johnny Carson. Being the gatekeeper to whether you're successful or not while being very unfunny.

But if he let you through that gate, if he let you through that gate. But not a lot of people got up to the gate. Yeah, no. I mean, it was back getting booked on it. And also, I think he liked two women comedians ever, Joan Rivers and Joy Behar, and then no other woman got to go through.

I thought Ellen DeGeneres got through. Oh, Ellen DeGeneres. So do we have Krusty hop up on goofballs? Oh, my God. The animation is so great. Try to hide. Break on through to the other side yeah

what was I on is that the one yeah that was it I love them establishing he just passes out on television yeah I love how they establish

the history of the show we'll see more of this in Bart After Dark in season 6 just like he has been doing this for 30 years in every format now almost 60 years if you has been doing this for 30 years. In every format. Now almost 60 years. If you wanted

to count this as canon, you should. Well, I mean, he's talking to Meanie as well. I know people can watch The Simpsons today as if it were made today despite the quality and animation and the stretching by FXX. These jokes, they have to go over the head

of anybody under 20. Yeah. How old is this show? I totally forgot. But I did it as my intro thing. I always think, too, this is always death. I don't want to do this. I love audience participation.

I think of this whenever I do a live RetroNuts panel. Sometimes I say it. It's like, now it's time for the Q&A panel. This is always death. Now for my favorite part of the show. What's that say? Talk to the audience. Oh, God, this is always death.

All right. I love miserable Christy. Oh, no, please don't show me with Ralph. What's your name, son? Ralph. And is this your girlfriend, Ralph? Yes, I love Lisa Simpson. And and when i grow up i'm going to marry her no wow now you listen to me i don't like you i never liked you and the only reason i

gave you that stupid valentine is because nobody else would watch this lease you can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half. And now. I just want to compliment the lapse of time there and how brilliant that transition was. From the live show to Bart watching it on tape. It was great. I want the VCR that actually plays the sound as you go frame by frame. Yeah. That was a bit much.

But you're taking away from one of their best act breaks ever. Because, yeah, her saying that immediately going into her regret the next day is so speedy and efficient use of time. And then just watching his heart break in slow-mo, pausing it when he sees his heart break. I've seen that. That gets memed a ton these days too i've seen it a lot just the exact moment someone's heart usually right into march crunking i like that we didn't see the aftermath of that the awkward ride home or what happened immediately wigum trying to like console ralph like i'm glad just like cut right to the simpsons home the day after and though

apparently wigum would have driven him home fine because he thought it went well. Thought it went great. Until he learns the truth. And this is a great clip for these life and times. Something wrong, officer? Yeah. Got a taillight out. Where? Right there.

You know, one day honest citizens are going to stand up to you crooked tops. They are? Oh, no. Have they set a date? He is officially dumber than homer i love how he immediately caves into the threat of pressure immediately acknowledge it like crooked cops like me well and also him chasing the duck like his waddle while chasing the duck yeah it didn't work well in sound but so funny. And they talk on the commentary that they were uneconomical

of using Valentine's Day and President's Day in the same episode where they're joking like, we're running out of days and we're going to have to do Arbor Day soon. That's great. They're showing up

like a decent passage of time without trying very hard. It's been a week, but it also didn't stop them from doing later Valentine's Day episodes. That's been a week, but it also didn't stop them from doing later Valentine's Day episodes anyway. They did a number of them. A bad clip show came out of that. I was going to say the Elton John episode.

I'm with Cupid. With old mint julep. There's too many things happening on The Simpsons that make me think of these life and times. The Mediocre President song is a good one. I didn't need to see all this President stuff right now. Well, if you're reading as much as I am

about what systems are in place to dethrone an elected president, it's because of these people. And it's because, especially the last one, I love the song so much. It's just a great song. It's one of the more unsung

Simpsons songs, I think. It's so catchy. It's so on point and it's short. Yes. And I think George H.W. Bush would's so on point, and it's short. Yes. And I think George H.W. Bush would be in this if he wasn't just deposed by Clinton. Maybe. But I think this...

Well, let's hear it first. Yeah. Good evening, everyone, and welcome to a wonderful evening of theater and picking up after yourselves. We begin with a tribute to our lesser known presidents. We are the mediocre presidents. You won't find our faces on dollars or on cents. There's Taylor, there's Tyler, there's Gilmore and there's Hayes. There's William Henry Harrison.

I got it in 30 days. We are the adequate, forgettable, occasionally regrettable, caretaker presidents of the U.S.A. The bassy trumpet. I love the phrase caretaker presidents. We're just keeping the doors open. The fascinating history of William H. He was the guy who got pneumonia for giving his inaugural address in the cold. They said he ate cherries at the wrong time. I think that's apocryphal, but I think he caught pneumonia and that could kill you at that time.

He also gave too long of a speech. Hours in the rain during his inauguration. And, like, the country wasn't ready for that transition to power yet. And they constantly had to write things to keep idiots and malcontents and unqualifiables out of the office. And there are means, is all I'm saying. Pull me. Stop pulling me into the mic.

Yeah. I was going to mention that joke of not reacting to Skinner's joke. They already did that this episode. That was a little weak because they already did that with Krusty not getting re-enacted. I think they're going to do that on Dave when he swings real hard in Michigan. I bet Jeff Martin wrote it, but when I think of guys who love presidents, I think of Conan. I think this was who love presidents, I think of Conan. I think this was a Conan thing, though it is just a Harvard thing of like, I learned every president, and I know all president history.

But upon reading... Never! Whenever I stumble upon one of these presidents' names when reading something, I think of this song, especially like Phil Moore. Dude, I wouldn't know any of those people without like one poster in elementary school in The Simpsons. But this is what I find to be great and it's not really – maybe it's my interpretation that Ralph gets over the heartbreak by finding another way to excel. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops so on behalf of desjardins insurance i'm standing 20 000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you

home and auto insurance personalized to your needs weird i don't remember saying that part visit desjardins.com care and get insurance that's really big on care did i mention that we care or maybe he excels because he's a failure he channels his uh grief and misery into this role and finds a way to express it i don't think it's it's as lame as like a hidden talent it's just like in the moment working through his shit we never see him act again no well i also admire springfield elementary for leaving a working fireplace on an elementary school stage. Well, that butt Nixon joke was, as a kid, I did not know who Nixon was. So I didn't get that joke.

And now they could not do that joke on TV. And the hostel of East to AB thing, that's a little lame. It is kind of lame. But it's something that Bart would do. It is what Bart would do. But I'm thinking more of the construction of this so the planned scene that the a teacher put on was the assassination of lincoln it is a little weird yeah with one line from millhouse but at least showing the audience's reaction of like he's killing why are we watching lincoln's assassination?

And Homer's like, get a boy, finish him off. I would have liked it more if Bart like crashed the play as the assassin. And Milhouse was like giving the Gettysburg Address or something. Yeah, Ralph ends up killing it. Would you put a price on the air we breathe or the providence that sustains us? But couldn't we just give in to the British? Never! Would you put a price on the air we breathe or the providence that sustains us? But couldn't we just give in to the British? Never!

That boy is magnificent. He makes me want to learn more about our founding fathers. To the library! Yeah! Yeah, Bart moves everybody, Willie cries. You know what? I wanted to mention Willie because I think we see his first contentious relationship with Skinner. Before, they just sort of have their own lines, but now you can see there's tension between them. It's a cheesy Scotty joke, but it is very true.

Watering down that orange drink is what happens. You never want to actually drink orange drink at uh school function i didn't like it to solidify skinner's dedication to the orange drink yeah and the legends of the hidden temple teddy roosevelt's each oh yeah he's talking about the money they lost that end production like him lifting up into the air like how much did that cost the school i did love the sign gag too of you must see it to get course credits principal skinner like that was the review yeah i like that and it's it got lisa ends up giving uh ralph a new card lisa hi ralph you were great tonight

oh thanks i've got something for you. Let's be friends. It says bee, and there's a picture of a bee on it. I thought you'd like it. So one of the few good jokes in another Simpsons clip show, probably one of the worst clip shows they've ever done, is them mentioning how this was an unseasonably warm Valentine's Day because they're just walking outside with no jackets. There's no snow.

I mean, presumably they're in a Midwestern-type setting or a place with seasons. February would be cold. More reflective of the environment now. I'll shut up. That's true, though. I mean, the winter of Mr. Plow was a harsh winter. Then again, maybe this is post-God getting mad at Mr. Plow

and turning up the heat. And so that's why they're so unseasonably warm. That's true. And they try to big up Ralph at the end, saying he's popular now. All these other girls like him. He found self-confidence. But because it's a sitcom, as we'll also see in the next episode, this progress is dashed by the next time. Like, Ralph's back to square one again and i feel henry

like uh if david merkin was running this episode he would make a comment on how this would just go back to normal because he was he was way into that like progress we were rolling it back nothing happened nothing changed another wacky adventure yeah i carumba that's the spirit that's what the end of the episode is a reset of the status quo well it resets for them but ralph is more popular after winning it's resets their relationship but ralph is more popular after winning it's resets their relationship but ralph is more popular after it seemingly helping his problem like now other girls like him so he doesn't need to worry about lisa the monster mash resuming is the greatest ending i love that we gotta close out with monster mash oh look at that attention

all units riot in progress at... Not tonight. Hey, hey. Bill and Marty here wrapping up a beautiful President's Day. To George and Abe and all the rest, here's a special song just for you. I was working in a late walk light when my arms began to need a sight for my monster from a... That's great. I love how it plays out throughout the entire credits

and they make no excuses like well maybe Dracula is the president of Halloween and their swings are like timed to the music it's just a beautiful ending it makes Monster Mash kind of heartfelt you never hear that song outside of October it's great

love that song and now people this is during christmas they're listening to this valentine's day episode and they're going to hear the monster man i warned you it's very much like the next year's halloween episode that ends with the christmas joke that's right happy halloween everybody we'll get to in uh jesus maybe august uh it'll be much sooner than that christmas if amer America's still around. But hey, let's be friends. This is a very sweet episode.

And I also like that it's sweetness-filled. Like, the B-plot is just being mean to Johnny Carson. Yes, and he deserves it. What a horrible man. They basically imply he was like a... Well, he had sex with all of his secretaries. He was a total philanderer. I don't want his shit all over him.

60s and 70s, probably very consensual. Certainly. Probably in their contracts. Yeah. This has been a mercifully short Talking Simpsons. Thanks so much for listening. I've been your host, Bob Mackie. You can find me online on Twitter as Bob Servo.

I also write for Something Awful and Fandom.com. You can listen to my other podcast, Retronauts. It's a classic gaming podcast every Monday on Retronauts.com or USGamer.net. It's great. Everybody else, tell us where we can find you. LasertimePodcast.com where you can find Lasertime, which did a whole show about the phenomenon of

the Monster Party song. Kicked off by Bobby Boris Pickett's Monster Mash. It is the most I've ever annoyed Brett in an hour before and I take great pride in it. Nobody liked the episode when it came out. It's kind of coming around

because that guy, that is not the only song that guy made, but they all sound like that. I do like how mad Brett got. Yeah. I was doing this thing.

I was doing X Late One Night. Something that rhymes with night. And he did that over and over again. I love werewolf bar mitzvah. Spooky scary.

Boys becoming men. Men becoming wolves. H-E-N-E-R-A-Y-G is my Twitter. And I thank you for following me there. And all the wonderful things I write on fandom.com. I also hope that you choo-choo-choose to support us on patreon.com slash laser time. It's what made this show possible.

It's where you'll find the first season of Talking Simpsons is on there if you want to listen to it, as is our season two, three, season two and three wrap-ups. Bob and I were just talking about potential things to do for the season four wrap-up. It's exciting. Fun ideas.

Please support us there. It makes it all possible. And we've got tons of great other podcasts on there. Christmas goodies as well that are Patreon exclusives that you're missing out on if you're not part of it. You want to watch Sonic's Christmas Past with your boys? No? No?

You should. You should. You should. We're also watching Die Hard and Home Alone together as a group. And you can go to our old, not old, but the band camp

and download the TheGremlins1.com We have a whole slew of Chris Pritchard's Gremlins, Batman Returns, Scrooged, Home Alone 1, Die Hard,

and Iron Man 3 wow who I championed just a few weeks ago on Later Time is Shane Black the undisputed king of Christmas movies

he's great good times well that's it from us this week we'll be back next week when Homer gives up beer and Dufflis see you then

I was working in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an eerie sight For my monster from his lab began to rise And suddenly, to my surprise He did the mash

He did the monster mash The monster mash It was a graveyard smash He did the mash It caught on in a flash He did the mash He did the match It caught on in a flash He did the match He did the monster match From my laboratory in the castle east

To the master bedroom where the vampires feast The ghouls all came from their humble abode To get a jolt from my electrode They did the match They did the monster match The monster match It was a graveyard smash They did the match They did the Monster Man The Monster Match It was a graveyard smash They did the match

It caught on in a flash They did the match They did the Monster Man The zombies were having fun The party had just begun The guests included Wolfman, Dracula and his son The scene was rocking, all were digging the sounds Igor on chains, backed by his baiting hounds

The coffin bangers were about to arrive With their vocal group, the Cryptkicker Five They played the mash, They played the monster mash The monster mash It was a graveyard smash They played the mash It caught on in a flash They played the mash

They played the monster mash Out from his coffin packed hoisted ring Seemed he was troubled by just one thing Opened the lid and shook his fist and said, Whatever happened to my Transylvanian twist? It's now the mash. It's now the monster mash. The monster mash.

And it's a graveyard smash. It's now the mash. It's caught on in a flash. It's now the mash. It's now the monster mash. Now everything's cool, R Racks are part of the band And my Monster Mash Is the hit of the land

For you the living This mash was meant to When you get to my door Tell them Boris said Then you can mash Then you can Monster Mash The Monster Mash And do my graveyard sign

Then you can mash You'll catch on and all graveyard Then you can mash You'll catch on and all right Then you can mash Then you can Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash

Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mash Monster Mashin' On! Monster Mashin' On! Monster Mashin' On! Monster Mashin' On!