Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Itchy & Scratchy Land

Episode Date: August 23, 2017

Nothing can possiblie go wrong in this week's podcast, as the family heads to the violentest place on Earth. One of the series best episodes gets deconstructed as we explain every reference to Disneyland, Jurassic Park, and Westworld. Now, if we could only find a Bort licence plate...

This week's episode of Talking Simpsons is brought to you by you. That's right, we're on Patreon now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons. For as little as $5 a month, you can help our show and get all kinds of great extra content on top of that. We've got a ton of great bonus content waiting for you right now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons today. I heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, ahoy everybody and welcome to TalkingSimpsons where we educate as well as horrify. I am your host Bob, Grandpa's little helper, Mackie, and this is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Who else is here with me today?

Henry Gilbert, and can we stop at Flickies? And who else? I'm Dave Rudden, and I need the biggest seed bell you have. And we should mention Chris Antista is out on assignments. Yes, no, he's enjoying a much-earned vacation. I do feel a little bad he's missing out on this one because I bet it is one of his favorites. I'm sorry, Chris. But today's episode is Itchy and Scratchy Land.

Now remember, we're in the itchy lot. And this episode aired on October 2nd, 1994. And not as always, Henry will tell us what happened on this day in history. Oh my God! Oh, boy, Bobby! An NHL lockout begins that'll stretch until January 11th. Harry and Nelson of Ozzie and Harriet dies, and the Rolling Stones' Voodoo Lounge Tour

becomes the highest-grossing tour ever! Have the Voodoo Lounge Tour killed. Yeah, I mean, this was the era in which the first wave of the Rolling Stones or two old jokes were happening. And they're still performing, and Keith Richards is still alive. Fingers crossed. Talking Simpsons curse, knock on wood. Yes, but 23 years ago, I am certain that record of highest grossing thing has been shattered like 18 times over.

It was when they realized how much they could fleece the Baby Boomers. They're just like, oh, Baby boomers have a lot of money now. If we charge $600 for tickets, they'll pay it. But just think how hollow their bones must be now. They're probably bird-like in appearance. They're like Skeksis. Talking about price of tickets, that upcoming or has happened Conor McGregor-Foley Mayweather fight. They're like, oh, there's 3,000 tickets left.

Yeah, of the cheap tickets left, they're $3,500. Wow. They're going to make $80 million just on the seats. Even Hamilton can't trade for that. Well, speaking of violence, the NHL lockout, I remember that being substantial because that came a couple months after the entire MLB World Series was canceled. But they didn't cancel the Stanley Cup.

They still were able to finish the season, oddly. Was this a strike? I think it was. Was it a lockout or a strike? Well, it is officially called a lockout. It was the players taking action that they had renegotiated a thing with the companies, and the companies were trying to get another pay cap, which they did not want, so they just said, then we're not coming.

And they didn't make a deal, and by January 11th, they made a deal, and even though they missed 485 games, they still finished out the season. They resumed it. Though, to me, it feels like NHL postseason is like half the year. It's NBA-like, where it's like, the top eight teams in each conference get it. So 16 out of 32 teams are in the year. It's NBA-like where it's like the top eight teams in each conference get it. So 16 out of 32 teams are in the playoffs. It's like it's not really high stakes if half of the league makes it to the playoffs. Yeah, though I mean it takes more time,

but if you actually want to know who the best team is, then you need that much stuff. You don't need like the NCAA March Madness. It's just you get one game, and if you lose that, boom, you are out of there. I have nothing to add to this conversation. Today's episode is this in Trarchy Land. I've got to say, this is the first episode of production season six, and boy, does it get off to a huge, amazing start in this season.

They were right out the gate with just a fantastic episode directed by Wes Archer. Yeah. This is him kind of flexing the muscles he would use as the supervising director of Rick and Morty. Oh, wow. Yeah, he is doing that now.

And there's an interesting story to how this episode came into being. If you listen to the commentary, David Merkin said that the government was beginning to start cracking down more on TV violence, which is the era in which there was also a freak out about video game violence. And Fox was like, okay,

David Merkin, you can't use itchy and scratchy anymore and he's like i will i will not only use itchy and scratchy i will make an entire episode about itchy and scratchy so fuck you and i think later he questioned uh fox like fox told him oh we've been getting letters about itchy and scratchy he's like show me one letter and they couldn't and i'm so impressed that he was able to tell this story on a fox produced dvd about how bad and stupid the network was but this is his revenge against network suits trying to get him to tone down on the violence i i do like that i do think you know even with itchy and scratchy they still were this isn't as bloody as say bard of darkness had some bloody stuff of itchy and scratchy but i love that he went overboard with that and that he is

it wasn't that parents were coming up to him it was that it was that an executive was telling him parents exist and i i i'm glad this episode exists as a kind of fuck you to those people and also a thing i missed in our season five wrap-up that i want to mention now is in the Simpsons history this on August 7th is when the Simpsons returned to the Sunday night time slot and has been there ever since the last 23 years. It was a Thursday for four years? It was a Thursday for seasons two three four and five and so then with a rerun on August 7th it made its move to Sunday nights, where it has remained ever since. Partially they did it to buoy their Sunday night lineup that was going to start having NFL games.

So it was done in conjunction with that. By boost, they mean get interrupted all the time. Yes. Sunday is the Simpsons night. It just feels weird that it was ever on Thursday at this point. I know. All just to defeat Bill Cosby, which, you know... I can't even...

It's annoying. You can't even talk about it. No, he did himself in in the end. So, yes, this episode begins with basically a glorified ad for Itchy and Scratchy Land baked within an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon. Yeah, I like the Itchy and Scratchy cartoon

Last Traction Hero. Oh, right. Another Last Action Hero reference. If you want to learn all about that, listen to the Boy Who Knew Too Much podcast we did. But I did like the simple pain of Scratchy going, he's bleeding from all the little pinpricks and he's getting kind of tired. I'm like, there's a lot of blood here. And I do like the mislead, like we're cutting ticket prices in half

and he just stabs them in the brain instead of cutting the ticket in half. Yeah, here is the commercial. Now I'd like to speak to you seriously for a moment. Yep, this week is the grand opening of Itchy and Scratchy Land, the violentest place on Earth. And to celebrate, for this week only, we're cutting ticket prices in half!

Yo! Kids, you heard the cartoon rat. If you haven't already run to your parents begging to go do it now you won't be missing anything funny i'll just be sitting here reading this grown-up's newspaper go now it's funny they never had to talk more before or since than in that cartoon i mean they talked in the bad marge produced cartoon. More lemonade? Yeah. They did way different voices. And in the Poochie episode, like,

you look like you have something to say. Do you? It's not a great voice to keep up with the conversation, I think. But it's also... I thought this was directly a joke on all the TGIF shows that went to Disney theme parks at this very same time.

Like having Roseanne or the step-by-step kids say, isn't this cool? Man, Disney World has so many cool things. So I have to point out, okay, we have to discuss this off the bat where like what again, this came up in the Itchy and Scratchy movie episode. It is what is Itchy and Scratchy in relation to Krusty the Clown?

In Itchy and Scratchy the movie, they were established to be a Disney-like creation, and they were part of a Disney-like empire, and that's continued in this episode itself. But what is Krusty's relationship? Does he work for the Itchy and Scratchy company? Is he an employee? I mean, does he just buy the rights to show the cartoons?

It's so weird. Well, at some point, they went to the Gabbo show. Oh, yes. They are gettable. They aren't owned by crusty lou studios i i think it is a licensing deal that crusty engages in and partially he got paid more money by russ meyer jr to advertise itchy and scratchy land in that episode there are any itchy and scratchy logos or or characters in crusty burger uh no i don't think so crusty burger is

kind of his own thing though which actually i think we'll probably get into a little more in this episode but at the universal studios theme park itchy and scratchy land and crusty land are kind of the same thing in that area in in the area that replaced back to the future as we talked about on a laser time yeah but but in front of there it's kind of a combo itchy and scratchy land crusty land i think they they mix them up together but i i do see it as just it's like bozo the clown shows popeye cartoons right and if they're if popeye were successful enough maybe king features would pay him to be like hey advertise the new Popeye attraction.

But he does not own Popeye. I was kind of surprised that, like, it was just my memory that I haven't seen this episode in a number of years that, like, oh, well, Krusty reads something from the paper on the show. But that's Corey. Corey's the one who reads the paper. Krusty's grown-up newspaper is a racing form, so he's

clearly, like, interested in betting and anything that's happening on his show. That just so clearly says racing form on it. That could be part of the sports section. Where I grew up, they would have racing forms in the sports section. Like, why do I need to know what horses are racing at Yonkers? Krusty's not trying as hard with this as he did at Mount Splashmore. That's true.

Maybe Itchy and Scratchy didn't pony up the dough to send him to this place. He was recording all week at Mount Splash where he was probably really getting into it. So many memories. Despite the fact that Homer goes to church every Sunday and started his own religion, he did not know what the Bible was or who Jesus was until buying that Bible. Just like a $15 Bible? Yeah. I figured they're either super expensive or free. There's no easier book to get for free than the Bible. It's like a $15 Bible. I figured they're either super

expensive or free. There's no easier book to get for free than the Bible. Maybe Atlas Shrugged. But the Bible's a close second. Well, they gotta give it away. And then, so we get a repeat of, can we get a pool dad? Can we get a pool dad? Or all the repetition of Simpsons

children's stuff. But Homer has learned a new strategy. pass the buck to mom yeah which is what dad's uh well my dad had done that i i had learned that i actually need to ask my mom for these things like dad is technically the figurehead in this but mom will actually buy the thing and spend the money and they immediately start cheering when they realize they can ask marge because they know they've won. Yeah, they've got a better chance. But I just, oh, yeah, I love the specificness of Marge. Talking about the Highway 9 bird sanctuary, it sounds like a very Oakley and Weinstein thing, too.

And that front-on look at them from above, like, that is just iconic. That's a great pose and great expression we've never seen before or since. It's such shock and sadness. And I have been in that position. great expression we've never seen before since just uh it's such a shock and sadness one and i have been in that position this is going to be a lot of suburban middle class kids complaining about their free vacations as a kid but i did have that feeling a couple times as a kid of like i have no control over this vacation i don't want to do this thing but it's where my parents want to go the worst one was uh highlight like my dad really wanted us to see live Hi-Li.

He's like, well, I bet on this to close Circuit TV at the racetrack, but I want to see live Hi-Li. My favorite Hi-Li stars are going to be there. Barayaga. But it gets, Hi-Li is fun for seven seconds, and then you're just like, boy.

Well, especially if you can't bet on it, it's no fun. It's not fun. The only reason highlight is fun is if you gamble. I'm not going to have any stories like that because my family didn't go on vacations. I would just go with my friends if they went to an amusement park or something nearby. But it was basically like my parents weren't mean, but they're like, we build a pool, swim in the pool. It's like that's your vacation.

It's like it's a little resort in your backyard. Yeah, I think my family went on vacations, but my dad really hated the travel and other people and also the driving. Basically everything involved. My dad's an angry guy. But I won't forgive him for not wanting to be around other people and disliking that. But I do understand he's like, i want to go on cruises because driving sucks and i don't want to do a giant road trip because i'm the one doing the driving and it's so i get that's why he prefers cruises of i go here i don't have to buy it's all expenses paid and i can gamble but uh yeah so then the the children find a better way to convince Marge. Mom! Dad! Farts! Dad!

That's right. Dad's serious about going to Itchy and Scratchy Land. You know, Itchy and Scratchy Land isn't just for kids. They have a place called Parents Island. Yeah, dancing, bowling, fashionable shops, over 100 bars and saloons, and a world-class chemical dependency center. TV town! Hammock land! Ooh, recipe-related bumper cars. Yay!

I included that little pause there because I don't understand it. It feels like an editing mistake or something. It just holds on them. It's the kids being presumptuous. They kind of like it. I think they're processing what's happening in front of them and then they just both decide, yes, we are going. But I mean, this does remind me as

when I was a kid, if you wanted to talk your parents into something that you also wanted to do. It's like, what would the adults want out of this equation? Trying to have a sales pitch ready it taught you negotiation yeah because you realize like you won't just convince them of saying i want to do this like there is nothing in it for them and i now read parents island as epcot or at least that's what was in my mind when i went to epcot as someone of drinking age. It was just like, this is educational, so there's fewer children here. It has all the best food and drinks,

which as a child I did not give a shit about. And I want to go to every country and buy the crap. Like, I loved Epcot. And the whole time I was there, I was like, this is Parents Island. I have a real soft spot for the recipe-related bumper cars. What is that? Do you read a recipe while you're on the bumper car?

Do you get to take a recipe home with you? It's great that Marge wants to learn something while on a bumper car. It's true. Meanwhile, Homer just wants to be in many different hammocks. Watching TV. Which he'll really enjoy when he gets to go to the hammock district. Oh, the hammock district. And the Bart's dead bit, I thought that was...

I remember that being in the promos, like the commercials for it. Bart's dead bit i thought that was i think i remember that being in the promos like the commercials for it bart's dead what like it's gonna get you to get you to watch it's a nice little fake out but and we get like a very lazy amish joke which like i get it amish people don't do stuff a few episodes after the uh an amish guy told them they weren't building a pool it's true and but i did go to amish country plenty of times because it was right across the border in Pennsylvania. I mean, you go there, you feel bad for the kids who can't play Nintendo,

you buy some candy and some weird toys, and you go home. My grandma liked it a lot. No, it may seem fine. I never went to it either. I'm just tired of Amish jokes. Every comedy has done an Amish joke because it's an easy way to make fun of strict Christian fundamentalism

and a demographic of people who... David Tell has this great joke about it. He says, like, oh, the Amish jokes. Why are you doing that? He's like, yeah, because they'll never see this and they won't be offended. Same with Eskimos or as I call them, Snow Mexicans. David Tell's very funny.

But I at least liked in the Amish joke that it implied Homer bought like 12 ice cream cones only to shove them on people's faces. And donkeys, too. And where did he get the ice cream? I don't think the Amish would sell ice cream. Isn't it too sweet? Wait a minute. It's the devil's cream.

They're willing to play ball with electricity if it means they can sell you something. Then we have the shark boy Sandy Beach scene, which is cute, but obviously it's Jaws. It's the Jaws scene. The Lisa and Marge sitting up is directly for Jaws. Oh, you're right, yeah. And those were weirdly, they're kind of framed as like, oh, remember this old episode kind of thing? Where I thought like, oh, these are going to just be flashbacks to old episodes. But they're new footage, which is not like, it's pretty substantial that they went to, like, they made new locations just for these things.

Yeah, I just wish they said when we went to Sandy Beach, I wish they would have just said Amity Island. Yeah. Like, we get the reference. Just say you went to Amity Island. Is Sandy Beach a real place? I don't think so. I went on Google Maps, and apparently there is a Sandy Beach near Oakland, but I'm thinking there could be several hundred Sandy Beaches throughout America. There's probably as many Sandy Be beaches as there are Springfields.

But Homer packs every annoying tourist accessory, a lobster hat, Fishnet Speedo Jr., wheelie shoes, which I feel were kind of a new invention at the time. Yeah, they were pretty new. An invisible dog leash, which I think was the first time I'd ever seen one of those in my life. And then I saw them everywhere at fairs. Yeah, I'd see them at fairs, and they were one of those things,

like as a kid, you'd be like, Mommy, I want want it and my parents were right to not buy it because within 10 seconds you'd be 10 seconds like huh yeah huh no one around you's impressed by it either like yeah i get it whatever though at the same places that sold the invisible dog leashes the thing i really wanted were those um the things that look like it was a floating spigot that was sending out water on the ground. You ever see those? No, no. Oh, man. It was a fountain, but it looked like that a spigot attached to nothing was pouring out water.

Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. Yeah, and it was really cool. I always wanted one of those. I was like, well, that's always going to be a conversations piece in our home. Unlike a dog leash. The one animation knock I'll give on this episode, which has some of the best animation the series ever had, but the framing of the shot to reveal Homer's luggage tips the joke too early.

When Bart says, oh, we're not going to do that, Mom. You already see the lobster head. Oh, you're right, yeah. It should have been a little tighter, but I get it in the aspect ratio they were in and the placement of Bart on the bed. There was probably no real way to do that, I don't think. But that's just my complaint. Wes Archer really needs to get it together.

He's going nowhere in this business. They talk in the commentary, actually, that this was a huge extra work for them of just, like, the Simpsons go to a ton of new places. Do you know how hard that is? All new characters. Yeah, but they really embraced it and i think probably they got extra effort just because like if you tell lifelong animators to parody dis classic disney animation they are going to put in the extra effort yeah they'll kill themselves doing it uh and yes and then abe gets his left

with the pets and remember every morning give one bowl of kibble to Santa's little helper. Do you want me to write any of this down? No, I ain't senile, Dad Blasted. Okay, bye-bye. Bye, Grandpa. Wait a minute. What was that last thing you said? Grandpa's little helper? What's that?

Which one of you is the mailman? Pets look at each other. I feel like that's as humanistic as Matt Groening would let them be. The cats look at each other like, we're going to die. They're never referenced again in this episode, right? No, there's never a cutback to Grandpa.

Unlike Grandpa turning into a woman in Cape Fear, there's no cutback like that. I laughed out loud of just the smash cut to grandpa's face like his listening face is just like so dumb and like just empty i i just love it i love that face great also i have a lot of experience having house uh set sat for pets or pet pet set for friends and had my pets pet set you don't need to stay there like i literally just give my keys to one of my apartment neighbors and be like just come by once a day you know make sure there's food and if the litter looks bad scoop it that's it you don't need to have like grandpa

there the entire time yeah well with a dog maybe well even then you just visit twice a day i i got i only cat set once as an adult. And it was for this couple who they were like, here, we'll give you $200 to just stay at our apartment all weekend. Because they were extra worried about their cat. And they were going to go camping together. And I was there for one day. And the cat got in this, just in a regular cat fight. But he had a cut on his chest.

But a little one but he was trying to lick it oh man but so then i kept seeing him like go out there i thought like is your jaw broken what happened to you like i was terrified and then the couple just came back the next day early because they had a giant fight on their camping trip and then broke up the next week so it was and they didn't have to bother with cat custody because it died of that infection. No. And he was asleep at the switch again. They still gave me the $200.

I was like, you don't got to give me this. They're like, no, no, no. We did it for you. We're not going to be using it for dates. Then the rest of the act is just a bunch of great observation of family road trips, which I, as a kid, even in 1994, I could identify with all of these. I love the dough when they all get into traffic together. That's really cute. And then Homer's like, I've got a strategy.

It's just cock and everybody starts honking. And a lot of this, I feel, was pulled from the writers' memories of road trips in the 60s and 70s because there's a parody of Stucky's, which I've never been to a Stucky's. There are these roadside sort of novelty shops where you buy a pecan log, you buy like little tchotchkes. All I know of Stucky's is the parody Snucky's in Sam & Max Hit the Road. There's a bunch of identical Snucky's with

a guy who just wears different like stuff on his face and everyone. The clerk. That's how I found out about Stucky's as well because in the comic book Sam & Max Hit the Road they just say Stuckies in that one. Steve Perreault doesn't care.

Obviously in the commercially produced video game they gotta change it to Snuckies. Flickies, though I like the Flickies, there aren't others for 25,000 miles which I think would put it in the Pacific Ocean or something. And this implies that the Simpsons have driven at least 700 miles,

so 10 hours of driving, like, liberally, if they're going 70 miles an hour the entire way. Wow, yeah. But the Flickies, I never got to go to a Stucky's either. Those Stucky's ads, they are great at getting kids. I even tried to, like, okay, I'll find a good Stucky's ad. It's like, there aren't any. They didn't make TV ads because they count on billboards on the road.

But I did find a video of, like, walking around Stucky's in 2005. And it really is like, if you've been to a Cracker Barrel, it's like the general store that's attached to the Cracker Barrel of just, like, folksy bullshit you can buy along with getting, like, an okay diner food. Though in the video, they just casually go by, well, here's all the Confederate flag merchandise. Pretty cool. It's like, doodly-doo, nothing to see here.

It's just folksy, guys. It's simply folksy. Old-timey Confederacy. But I definitely did that as a kid of asking my dad or mom, like, can we stop here? And they're just like, no, we're not going to stop here. They knew the signs had gotten me. More often it was just like, oh, actually, the big one for me was KFC buffets because I'd only ever seen those on the road.

There was like three ever on the road trips we went on. I was like, we've got to go, a buffet KFC? And then we go, and they were, it's KFC. It's just all-you-can-eat KFC food. It's not particularly awesome. It seems like that would be a downgrade from buffet KFC? And then we go, and it was, they were, it's KFC, it's just all you can eat KFC food. It's not particularly awesome. It seems like that would be a downgrade from regular KFC. Just a bunch of warm, wet chickens sitting in a little cooker for all day. Oh, but all the sides, you can have all their mashed potatoes

you can eat, which, like, whatever chemicals they put in those mashed potatoes, I love to taste them. I'm salivating thinking about those. Oh, they visit the five corners, which does not exist. The Four Corners do exist. Yes. And that's Utah, Colorado, Arizona, and New Mexico.

That is indeed, man. Shining more light on where the hell are they in America. Yeah, it doesn't really give a clue because they are 700 miles from home when they get there, or even more than that. Well, when they get on this highway, it's to another state anyway. So it's all just so vague. You have no clue where they are but the as a kid i kept thinking like i know i looked at a map after this like where would the five states meet where would they like they don't there's nowhere five states meet they i it does make me want to visit that four corners monument according to my research there's there is nothing else there

like not even electricity they don't have stuff it's just a giant plaque on the ground. Like, welcome to the borders. It's a tourist trap. It is. Also, well, so they do a cute little joke about taking fruits and vegetables across the borders, which Mr. Wembley, Mr. Wembley works there, too. Where was Mr. Wembley before?

Mr. Wembley, it happened again. It could have been another Mr. I think. Yeah, I wondered why that was. Apparently, it's just to protect from, like, you'd bring insects from another state. And it really, at the time, it was really only California that was like, don't bring your fruits and vegetables into California. Which, again, it is the top agricultural producer in the world.

I think it's just like, don't bring your mattress into our state because everybody has bed bugs now. And then they tune into Alex Jones. Now to absorb some local color through the magic of AM radio. The book of revelations tells us to watch for the seven signs of evil. Sign of evil number

four. Continuing our sign of evil countdown, here's Vanessa Williams. I love that. My favorite thing to do when I used to drive in Ohio was if I was in the middle of nowhere and it was nighttime, I would go to the AM radio dial and find the most insane Christian program I could find. The one I remember the most was this program all about prayer strategies where it's like you need to pray during, you need to avoid peak prayer hours because God is incredibly busy handling all of those prayers.

It's just like, you're attributing this kind of labor to a supernatural omnipotent being that he's actually like sorting through prayers and answering them. God, it's great. This Jesus pro tip. I love you. Get your maximum high score of prayers. You want to get in at maybe 3.30. That's a good prayer hour.

Wake yourself up at 4 in the morning. And it's also funny, they have an AM radio joke in here that in the next episode is all Rush Limbaugh, the king of AM radio. But this, yeah, the Christians took it over because the cool people went to FM, so then AM's like, we gotta fill it with something.

Okay, get the most hardcore Christians you can. And that Vanessa Williams joke is directed at her, just that she had been Miss America. It was then found out that, like, oh, dear God, she posed nude for photographs. The worst thing a human can do. And so she was then seen as evil.

But at this time, she had become a hip-hop chanteuse. And that's why she... But I also love a good Casey Kasem joke. That's always nice. I do like the great fakeout joke. It still works on me or I still just get a huge laugh out of it of the Simpsons car careening into a phone pole. Then it pulls out to see them in the hotel room. That wasn't us. Two Simpsons death fakeouts in the same episode.

That's true. That's true. I love both of them it was i definitely had a lot of road trip related anxiety but my big one wasn't falling asleep or dying in a car crash like that it was running out of gas my biggest fear was like if i my eye was on the gas tank the entire time we drove and if it went below if it got to 75 empty i would start pressuring my dad like we gotta stop we gotta stop somewhere you played a lot of um ghostbusters for the nes and you knew what a pain in the ass that

was i think i i discussed this back on the episode where homer had that dream sequence in the car but i have had instances where i almost fell asleep at the wheel because i used to do like full cop full college course load days where like i went to queen's college which is a commuter college and it's like a 30 minuteminute drive from my place to there. And I would just be like, I don't want to do this four days a week. I would just stuff everything into two days, which would mean 10 a.m., 10 p.m. And sometimes if you pull it all night or before you go,

I am like dead at 10 p.m. Oh, my God. And, yeah, there are points where it's like I got to pull over, get a coffee or something, and it's like – Also, weird that there's no panic involved with them seeing a car crash happen in front of their building. They don't care that people just die. Oh, good.

It's not us. I mean, I spread my college out around eight years. A nice thing to say. I got sleepy on the road. Not at college. I would take about 20 minutes to get to my community college. But no, my time getting sleepy on the road was when I did my epic Florida to California road trip. Oh, man.

But it was that my friend and I were just cheap. We were like, man, if we didn't spend $200 on hotels, think of all the money we make. But my friend also, he was extra driven. No pun intended. That he wanted to try to do it without even sleeping. He was like, no, we're going to drive cross country and we're not going to stop to sleep. I was like, look, let's just stop at a rest area and nap. He's like, no, we're going to keep driving. I was like, Jesus Christ.

I like that I did it to do it, but I think back now I'd be like, I'll just put $100 on my credit card and fucking sleep. Was a man from the Guinness Corporation in the backseat with a clipboard? You don't. I think he just wanted to brag about it forever. That dude sucked. By the way, all this road trip stuff, this was an episode that I missed recording when it actually aired the first time, so I got it in syndication. Pretty much all of the cuts are from the road trip.

The Stucky stuff and the uh the fruits and vegetables were cut from syndication yeah and they don't really like they're good jokes but bart on the road does like like road stuff way better it is i think so yeah it's it's better observations of what it's like to be on a road trip and it's they have nothing to do with the plots and itchy and scratchy land is so so plot heavy. You cut one explanation of something in Itchy and Scratchy Land and other parts don't make sense. Maybe that's why they stuffed the first act so full

of things that could be cut to give them options. I think I mentioned it on a previous episode, but this is the one episode I missed on its first night airing until I stopped watching the show. I don't know what I was doing, how I let this happen to myself, but I'll never forgive myself.

I had to wait for the rerun to watch this. You were probably so distraught at the hockey lockout. What am I going to watch now? Oh, right, I don't watch hockey. You were checking TV Guide every week of like, is it this week? Is it this week? And I knew it was going to be about Itchy and Scratchy Land. I was so sad.

Yeah, and if I were pitching simpson's scripts i actually would pitch like i want to see the episode that explains what happened during that shortcut that could fill an entire episode whatever happened to them during the this secret shortcut homer takes of like that they have a missile stuck in the front that they've replaced a real a wheel with a with a wooden wheel and that they've lost the top of their car, and they've apparently driven through a chicken scoop. They should cover that instead of what happened after Camp Krusty. It's good we don't see the car again, because they'd have to draw that stuff on it.

Yeah, though I was impressed that when they park in the itchy lot, that it is the same car design, that they kept that thing. So remember we're in the itchy lot, which was the opening bit on here. That was a reference to at Disneyland and at all Disney parks and also at Universal Parks, they section off the parking lots into things named after their famous characters. Classically, they have like Donald, Eeyore, Jiminy Cricket, Mickey, and Tinkerbell of like, I'm in the Mickey one.

I'm in the Timoon one. And it's easier to keep track of your cars when, like, tens of thousands of people are parking cars every day there. It kind of astounded me when I went to Disneyland for the first time that you get out of the car and then you have to take a 20-minute ride to the theme park. It's not a quick ride to get there. But apparently the named parking lots aren't a thing anymore at Disneyland. I know. Because they had to cut into their parking lot space to build more stuff. So instead they built like a, a gigantical six story tall parking structure called like

the Mickey and friends parking structure so that they could get back. Because as, as Chris mentioned a lot on the episode we did about defunct park rides anaheim they only have so much space at disneyland they can't get more space around it so cannibalizing the parking lot to build cars land or the cars based stuff was what they had to do so but they but that still continues at the disney world park and also i remember when i last went to universal you better believe i made sure we parked in the Spider-Man parking lot. I wish they would have parked in the Rich Uncle Skeleton lot. Well, and obviously, that's also the joke that it's only two parking lots.

They're the itchy lot. And they're spiritual. The Simpsons will be right back. Hello, everybody. Boy, what a week, huh? But hey, at least Talking Simpsons is back with an episode that isn't a clip show. We're actually really proud of this one, just as we're proud of everything we do on Talking Simpsons. And we can only do it thanks to your support

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Like, rented an Airbnb of this dude who, it was a five-bedroom, five-bathroom house. Holy God. With, outside there was a giant pool with a water slide and a fucking grotto in the back. Water slide? Wow. I love water slides. But the problem is, we were probably, like, a mile from the strip. If we wanted to get food, like we had to order it. And like the thing I love about Vegas is you eat shittily too.

Like we ordered shit from like Safeway. That's awful. And more than half of the stuff we ordered, they were like, ah, we didn't have it, so we just, here's your order. There's crackers and cheese. There's no bacon in this order. There's no like, so just have eggs. We were eating extremely shittily, like, Homer making a meal for himself.

Kind of like. Some moon waffles were being passed around. No, cloves and fucking Tom Collins mix. Let's go get your mother. I looked into it because apparently that's what cruise ship dining is, too. It's just one, like, prolonged buffet. That fucking failed music festival. Fire music festival.

That's what we were eating. Oh, shit. But I chat in five different bathrooms, which is nice. I made that my mission. I'm like, look, I'm going to find every bathroom here and shit in it. Get bonus time, Laser Time's weekly full-length, uncensored, and ad-free Patreon-exclusive podcast. As well as full-length movie commentaries, wrestling and cartoon video commentaries, the first season of Talking Simpson Simpson and more at patreon.com

slash LazerTime starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. This all begins the string of both Westworld and Jurassic Park jokes. Yes. In that, in the helicopter, that's Jurassic Park. You have to take a helicopter to Jurassic Park.

But nothing can possibly go wrong. That's Westworld. We're now approaching our final destination, Itchy and Scratchy Land. The amusement park of the future where nothing can possibly go wrong. Possibly go wrong? That's the first thing that's ever gone wrong so yeah that's a reference to the poster for westworld and the first trailer of it as well here's the classic trailer or uh just two minutes in no you'll enjoy your stay in westworld. Hold it. The ultimate resort. Let me do it this time. Where nothing, nothing can possibly go wrong.

I'm shot. Go wrong. Raw. Go wrong. Oh my god. Shut down. Shut down immediately. Spoilers, guys.

Come on. That was in the original trailer. They're like, yeah, Josh Brolin gets shot. He's dead. Yeah. So on the poster, that's the tagline is there. But as soon as possibly, the word possibly appears, the text starts falling down the poster. Which again shows you possibly, the word possibly fails just as in the poster.

Westworld, the original one we're talking about here, the 70s film, not the, I'm sure the show's very good. I haven't watched the HBO show. It's all right. It's got boobs and death on it, right? Which that I'm sure the show's very good. I haven't watched the HBO show. It's alright. It's alright, yeah. It's got boobs and death on it, right? That's all an HBO show needs to be good. The original Westworld was written and directed by Michael Crichton. How?

And he did it in the late 70s, and it's an amazing idea of, what if Disneyland was made for adults, and then what if the robots went mad and killed everybody yes also what if you could fuck and kill the robots too what if you could fucking kill robots yeah I just saw this for the first time for

this episode I wanted to watch it finally just for this episode and also it's a good movie and it is great it's also like I think it's having your cake and eating it too because it's also giving the audience a western of sorts where a lot of the scenes could be read at face value as a western there's lots of there's a big bar fight

there's like a scene with at a bordello things like that but I was also kind of surprised that I mean spoilers the robots go insane there's no deeper meaning to this movie there's no there's no like deep sci-fi plot just like oh all the robots are going insane that shouldn't happen

oh I guess we're all dead now there's no deeper meaning to it, but I love it. And it reminds me a lot of Terminator. Terminator 1, it's this super great sci-fi time travel story, but the Act 3 is just like someone is being chased by a robot skeleton.

This movie is exactly the same where it's like this great sci-fi story, Act 3, someone is being chased by a robot cowboy. And it's like this great sci-fi story act three someone's being chased by a robot cowboy and and it's great like i loved it it's incredible we talked a ton about westworld also in the boy who knew too much but the chase scene specifically but yule brenner is just so great playing a robotic version of himself which is barely gonna do anything to make him look robotic just like put contacts in and boom yeah and, and it's just beautiful.

His chase of the wormy guy who you think he'd be the one killed. I thought he died. Not handsome James Brolin, not Josh Brolin. Yeah, and doesn't James Brolin look just like Christian Bale? It's like, well, you're a Christian Bale at the time. Oh, you're right. Wow. But I think that's part of, I'll give Michael Crichton thumbs up for that,

that I think, I wish it wasn't spoiled in the trailer but it's a great misdirect of he cast the movie star james roland and then kills him for the third act and it makes it even more of an underdog thing of like oh the wormy guy who didn't even want to punch a robot in the saloon he's the one getting chased by the unstoppable yule brinner bots yeah and it's it's beautiful and but the arrival in the helicopter obviously is the arrival in the helicopter in jurassic park though structurally westworld and jurassic park are kind of the same thing like crichton really ripped himself off when he did jurassic park clearly he was just like well westworld didn't work like westworld wasn't a hit right and so i'm sure it did fine but so then he went he left hollywood and just wrote his own books and to then be made into movies and and jurassic park

similarly is a theme park where the attractions go crazy but in this case it's really cool robot or it's really cool dinosaurs instead of robots. But the arrival of the helicopter as a continuity dork did bother me. I'm like, well, how did everybody... So they park and then everybody gets in a helicopter and then they... And also, it's before you even buy tickets to get into the theme park. So it seems very inefficient cost-wise to fly people to the gate where they buy their tickets. What if they decide, nah. Exactly. very inefficient cost-wise, to fly people to the gate where they buy their tickets, what if they decide, nah?

Exactly. And they just wasted the price of a helicopter train. A free helicopter, right. But what is the reference of the itchy and scratchy skulls? The island is shaped like that. Is it King Kong? I mean, King Kong is Skull Island. I couldn't find a picture of Skull Island because of that fucking movie. It makes it impossible to find a picture of what it looked like in that 1932 King Kong.

But was it a skull? Its skull is shaped. In later King Kongs, it's much more obvious. Like, this is literally a skull. It actually looks more like the Jurassic Park logo, but with Itchy and Scratchy. You know, just like the dinosaur skeleton silhouette. Yeah, it's a weird thing, too. It's like, oh, it's a mountainside that looks like Itchy and Scratchy.

And then on top of that is Disneyland. That scene makes no sense. It's a very funny scene, and it's a good end of an act break, but it makes very little sense in the world of it. I don't know when we should broach this topic exactly, but with there already having been a Duff Gardens episode, I felt a little bit confused the first time I watched this. It was like, oh, I thought Duff Gardens was their Disney World, even though I wasn't really familiar with Busch Gardens at the time that I had seen it. And then I went to Busch Gardens, and it is like, yeah, the beer thing makes it more in Busch Gardens camp. But there is things like – not We Are the World, but Small World. Yeah, just things – and the seven Duffs.

It's like, oh, these are all Disneyland things. Kind of mixing metaphors here, I guess. Yeah, no, I mean, they always, they have so many ways they want to make fun of Disneyland. Like, obviously, if you're an animation dork or if you're an entertainment professional, like, you're obsessed with Disneyland or you have thoughts on Disneyland and making fun of the lines. Like, they've done 8 million Disneyland jokes, and this is just their most direct answer. I mean, Abe and Old Bunny went to Disneyland and rode a roller coaster. But just like Duff Gardens, Homer uses the same strategy.

One adult and four children. That's right. That's the first time I caught that. Me too. Where he bought a ticket. He classifies himself as a chill child, which I guess he kind of is. And I am a college student. And then we get a joke about Disney dollars.

So the Itchy and Scratchy Land money is, it's a joke on Disney dollars that they felt was a scam, where you say, like, you buy Disney dollars, which are one-to-one currency that can only be spent in the park, and they have characters on it, and it's kind of fun money. And not every place takes Disney dollars. Not even the clerk could sell it to them, though. It's fun.

Yes, though this joke doesn't work if it works the same as in Disney parks, which is when you leave a Disney park, you can exchange back the money. You're not stuck with it. I didn't expect that, actually. Yeah, no, they do do that. And actually, I thought Disney dollars had been around a long time.

They were introduced in 1987. Wow. They were seven years old when they did this joke. Is it literally just fun? Or do you get discounts if you use Disney Dollars? I don't know if there's a discount. I think really it is that they realize, what if we could make somebody's $20 become a $20 bill that they might not spend and they'd keep to themselves?

Definitely Disney collectors will buy a $20 Disney dollar and then keep it forever to be like, well, this is my Disney dollar. It only goes up in value. There's new characters on the dollars this year. Let me buy one of each. Though the Disney dollars were discontinued May 14, 2016.

You can't get them anymore though if you bring them to the parks they will still accept it up next we meet my secret favorite character from this episode there's no need to murmur ma'am it is the it is the William Daniels-esque Hank Azaria character William Daniels obviously the voice of Kit

the car Knight Rider and Mr. Feeny in Boy Meets World that's he's doing an impression of him but I love there's no need to murmur, ma'am. Yeah, I'm a little tired of Simpsons jokes of what are you talking about? You're totally lying. He's like, uh, gotta go. There's gotta go jokes get old, but I do love

his directly calling Marge's thing murmuring. He's like, there's no need for that. And that the cat was breathing comfortably in the next scene. I'm surprised that the well first i love another thing i noticed for the first time the way homer is looking at marge when she's complaining about that he's like come on he has a face of like okay half-lidded of come on but i also wonder like march should never be allowed in itchy and scratchy land by the

myers family because they're like hey hey, you almost killed my company. Yeah. I would have this place if you got your way, Mark. I never thought of that. That's so true. She was a minor celebrity because of her crusade against Itchy and Scratchy. Yeah. It's like they literally call her to get tips.

I'm like, well, what would you do? Russ Meyer Jr. knows who Marge Simpson is. It's Roger Meyer. Russ Meyer is the guy who liked boobs. Damn it. Roger Meyer. The complaining squirrel wouldn't make it into that store. That's right. They should have made a toy. It's Roger Meyer. Russ Meyer is the guy who likes boobs. Damn it. Roger Meyer. The complaining squirrel wouldn't make it into that store. That's right.

They should have made a toy. Don't do that. Don't do that. When Bart and Lisa are kicking each other, another little animation touch I love is Maggie is pumping her fist just to show that Maggie has also been affected by the violence. So obviously from Marge versus Itchy and Scratchy, we know Maggie has been affected. She's prone to violence. We'll see her shoot Mr. Burns later in the season.

Spoiler. Yes. Oh, well, then they drop Maggie off in a ball pit, which I get that it really would be a death pit for babies. Like, they'll starve to death. They will die. But I would love a 40-foot deep ball pit to play in now. As long as they can promise me it is not full of fecal matter.

That's never going to be true. I know. There really are ball pits or toilets. As far as I can go there with that. Her being in the ball pit, that's it. Ball pits are a litter box for children. And somehow the buoyancy or whatever of this ball pit, that sends them all the way to the front.

That's the way ball pits work, but anyway. And I also did like this little scene at the restaurant. I'll have a brain burger with extra pus, please. Bart. Eyeballs, Stu. Homer, we just got here and already I'm mortified beyond belief by your embarrassing behavior. I was just ordering a cheeseburger, Mom. They have violent names for everything here.

Oh, I see. All right. I'll have the baby guts. Lady, you disgust me. Mom, that's Veal. It's definitely a joke I did not get as a kid because working class family, I was never exposed to Veal or even knew what Veal was. No, I never even tried it.

I don't think I've ever had it. By the time I could have bought it, I knew what it was. And it's a kind of, in case you don't know, Veal is tortured baby calves that then have like softer meat which also i i know bob the vegetarian like oh i'm disgusted by all of you if you have the line of like well i want to have veal it's like oh but you will have like an adult cow smashed in the head and chopped up and it got to live a longer worse life yeah longer worse life bob is broad enough life yeah longer worse life it's cold it's cold

with salad so i have to say one of my pet peeves is going to restaurants and having them be too cute about naming things to the point where you don't know what things are yeah and actually experienced that in a in a i could have possibly been arrested i think if this went a different way where i went to a brewery in Portland I forget what it was, maybe last year, and the bathrooms were like hops and barley. It was not even indicating what could be male, what could be female. I go into one of them, don't even

notice that there's no urinals in it. I'm like, oh, just use a stall. I'm sitting down using the bathroom and the door opens and two women are having a conversation and I'm like, oh, shit. And it's just like, I'm just going to wait this out until the women leave so I don't scare them I don't know what hops and barley

I don't know which one obviously those are the only two genders that's a joke it might not have been hops and barley but it was two equally non descriptors for gender or sex rather but I was like I'm just going to sit in here and wait this out until this conversation is over and it turns out

they're having a real heart-to-heart about this woman's job. Oh, God. And I'm just like, after five minutes, I'm just like, excuse me, I'm not a pervert.

I went to the wrong bathroom. I'm just going to leave now. And they're laughing and they're like, it's okay, it's okay. It's like, I don't know which bathroom this is. I'm sorry.

Somebody thinks they're a barley. Yeah. So it was that day I learned I was a hops man. Oh, I love that. I'm really glad that they're a barley. Yeah. So it was that day I learned I was a hops man. Oh, I love that. I'm really glad that they handled it well. Hearing that clip was the first time I noticed the itchy and scratchy theme music in the variation on it. That's such a well-observed thing.

The music that plays everywhere when you go to Disneyland is like variations on classic Disney music. In the restaurants too. Did they not have Lisa ordering something at the restaurant? No, she didn't. She knew it was Veal, but it was Bart and Homer order it and then Marge orders it. We don't know what Lisa ordered. The waiter leaves. Lisa can't order. That's true. Lisa didn't get

to order anything. What a terrible waiter. Well, hey, he's a very principled waiter. Honestly, if you did that at Disneyland, you'd be fired immediately. Or I think any restaurant, you've got to just bring the food. But I guess it's like a precursor to become a vegetarian. Maybe the names of the food here kind of started her

on that path. I feel bad for Marge that she tries to, even when she tries to have fun with gross names, she gets judged. She's like, man, she can't can't even fun being gross with them. I love when she's looking at the map. It's one of the first things I do every time I've gone to a park. I'm just like, why don't we just look at the map and see everything?

Where am I going to go next? Ooh, look at all the different lands. It's also another March touch. I think she chose the baby guts because it sounded cute. Just like, oh, that's cute. Baby guts. And then we get the introduction of the robot parade. the baby guts because it sounded cute you know just like oh that's cute baby guts and uh then we get the introduction of the robot parade oh look it's the 12 noon robot parade hurry up we'll

have to wait for the 1205 parade so that's a parody of the main street electrical parade let's hear some of that music it will it's it's pure madness to me this music if i ever go on a killing spree this would be playing in my head i think so go So, go ahead. Let's hear some of that. Oh, yeah. Pure 70s bliss. I love it. It's great. It's actually great. And I was actually working on notes in the bar I do research in, in drinking, and I left that play

and I realized I was listening to like 15 minutes of it while I was taking notes. I'm like, people are going to think I'm insane if my headphones fall off. They're like, get this guy out of here. He's had too much. But yeah, I want to give some information about this. It's a very, very iconic Disney thing, but it sort of jumped around a lot from park to park. So it ran from 1972, hence the music, until 1996. And then it went to Disney California Adventure from 2001 to 2009. And then to the Magic Kingdom in Florida from 2010 to 2016, and now as of this recording,

it is back at Disneyland for a limited time engagement. So it just kind of moves all those old electronics and parts and light bulbs all get moved around. One of the big tricks of Disney is that they say, oh, it's a limited time. They're faking that it's limited, but they'll never stop doing the main street electrical parade it's it's just they cycle it around to make it special but i

watching it i love it i like how stupid and 70s it is i love the 70s and ugly it is and that's that's if they have a fancier parade i'd be like yeah i don't i like but that is one of the another the fun things about disneyland that other in and the Disney parks that other parks don't do, which is this is a continuing experience. We're going to have live shows all the time. You're going to walk around, and the Dapper Dans are going to be singing Baby on Board. And you're going to have full-on parades multiple times a day. You don't have to wait for one parade a year in your crappy small town. They're going to do multiple parades multiple times a day you don't have to wait for the one parade a year in your crappy

small town they're going to do multiple parades and uh the joke about the 1205 parade is that they would do the electrical parade multiple times a day which is a good thing if you miss it as if you're there like well i miss a parade it's nice knowing there's more. Though currently at Disneyland, they actually only do the electrical parade twice a day, 8.45 p.m. and 10.45 p.m., which obviously you want to watch the electrical parade in the dark to really appreciate the lights. Yeah, I only went to Disney World once, and I avoided the parades because any time I'm standing still watching something is a time that I'm not on a roller coaster or some other fun ride that's true yeah i couldn't watch i don't think i watched the entirety of the parade it was more like well also it was probably

the late one of just well we're going home let's stop and look at this parade we're so tired from everything else like all we can do now is look at pretty lights which hey seeing seeing pete's dragon with a bunch of like green light bulbs all over him is pretty fun and so the itchy and scratchy parade is not as involved as the electric light parade but it's where we first meet the animatronics and get some important plot points wow this is so much like my dreams. It's scary. Aw, look at that cute little baby axe. It's cute, but I'm sure it's very sharp and probably dirty. Dirty, maybe. Dangerous, hardly.

These are the latest state-of-the-art animatronic robots. They have senses that ensure they only attack each other, never the guests. See all that stuff in there? That's why your robot never worked. I feel that a later, worse episode would have a cutaway to Homer building a bad robot or Homer having a bad robot. The fact that they cut at that line is great. A lot of self-control. I just love the, it's a real ADR line. I'm certain that's not what Marge originally said in that scene.

That's true, too. But I love it. It doesn't need a cutaway. It creates a vision in your head of, like, Homer making a robot that's empty inside. It's like, why doesn't my robot work? Just the shell of a robot, yeah. And then Marge can kind of do an I told you so on that. And it also let them do Terminator vision,

which they had last done when Homer was looking for a man for Selma in Principal Charming. I do feel like we're dwelling on this joke for a while, but Marge was not being mean-spirited. She wants the family to learn things on this vacation. Or as Marge says, vocation, which I love. Vocation. Vocation. I'm like, like yeah march march is not the bad guy here i think they they do an all right job of setting up like march just wants a good time it's just what they want and this does give context to uh mr murmur man yeah like when i was watching the episode before like i of course i remembered that there's no need to murmur ma'am but i was like that's weird that he's just in the

episode for this but no he's actually here to tell you the entire conceit of the episode before, of course I remembered there's no need to move him, man. But I was like, that's weird that he's just in the episode for this, but no, he's actually here to tell you the entire conceit of the episode. And Westworld does not even go this far to explain what went wrong. It's just like, something went wrong, they don't say here's why it went wrong, or here's why they're not attacking the people. And there's also no solution to kill the robots. You just have to

try to destroy them as much as you can until they stop moving. And then they go on log ride which they have some clever sign jokes in this this is not one of them i noticed that too it's like where's the joke where's the joke where's the joke yeah that the obviously it's a parody of splash mountain down to the banjo-y music playing when it starts though they just remove the racism from it it's very observational it reminds me of splash mountain and pirates of the caribbean where it's like it's just a very slow moving ride where you look at things and there's one giant drop or one thing that happens at the end where and then that's it

i mean splash bound the same way yeah it's very hurt and also the herky jerkiness of it yeah i like that yeah yeah i like in general i like the simplicity of log ride, of the log ride genre of park rides, because you've just got one thing. You're not getting thrown around by a roller coaster in every direction. It's just the anticipation of one big thing. Like, man, this big thing's coming. That's what's fun on the Jurassic Park ride is basically just Splash Mountain as well. Oh, yeah. Except you're seeing pretty bad animatronic dinosaurs.

And they spray water at you. Yeah, and they spray water. You're like, it's Dilophosaurus. And then a really bad T-Rex will bite at you and then, phew, hit me down. I actually got stuck on Splash Mountain in 1999. It was not as traumatic as it sounds. It was actually right before the big drop.

Things just stopped moving, and we're like, what's going on? And the speaker comes on, and it's like, don't touch the water don't move people will escort you off the ride and it took them like maybe 15 minutes to get us and i remember when a when a person was helping me out of the out of the ride my hand was wet and they were like you're not supposed to touch the water i'm like it's called splash mountain yeah i got wet on splash mountain i'm sorry but i just remember being really surreal where there's just so much artifice and so much atmosphere of Disneyland. When they take you behind the ride, it's just scary and weird. Oh, man.

Yeah, it's like all asphalt and stuff. Well, that's a lot of the great stuff in this episode are observations of what they imagine behind the scenes of Disneyland is like of just the scary. There's more SS officers in there. But I love Splash Mountain to the the moment of going down where you just hear Briarpatch it's I did you ever get to ride it for real or we did we did I think we went back the next day and they fixed it but we got a ticket to get on any the front of any line like instantly and we went to Space Mountain because I had the longest line and I love Space Mountain so much Space Mountain's better than Splash Mountain and it's yeah it's

the best of the three of the mountains. I guess really there's four mountains. Matterhorn. Matterhorn just is bald, man. Big Thunder Mountain's fun, but it's just like, it's a baby's rollercoaster, which is why I like it. Oh, me too. I hate real rollercoasters. Same with Space Mountain. It is a real rollercoaster, but it's in the dark, so I don't know I'm

on a rollercoaster. You bringing up Space Mountain makes me think of the wrestler Ric Flair, who calls his penis Space Mountain, and he always says, oldest wrestler Ric Flair who calls his penis Space Mountain. And he always says, oldest ride, longest line. Which means a lot of women want to wait on a very long line to get on his old dick. Clothes for prepares today. The animation of them dodging death on that ride. But it's also like, that ride must murder people. I think the most dangerous thing is after all that, they just get shot onto mattresses.

Yes, yeah. During the fall, a buzzsaw cuts the thing in half, and they have to dodge it and then fall on mattresses. It's not a complete covering of mattresses. Yeah, also the spikes. When they hit the spikes, they're perfectly aligned to know that two kids are in front and two adults are in back. So they almost gouge out everyone's eyes at once. Yeah, but it's beautiful animation. Again, this is so good.

So good animation. And thinking back to where Maggie goes, it's interesting that they built that in because I'm sure they're asking themselves, what will we do with Maggie throughout all this action? Like, where is she going to go? You could clip those bits out. And I doubt on this show we probably would be asking where's maggie but to a regular viewer they wouldn't be asking that to be like yeah yeah we're who cares i think later in the show they don't get maggie back from the daycare when everyone leaves i guess it's implied that after they kill the robots that they get maggie back at that point yeah but uh

and then marge and homer decide they're going to parents island which is uh it's beautiful i love it and that the they go to itchy and scratchy 70s disco i first time i caught the sign joke of established 1980s yes that's great before we go on though uh you don't have it recorded that's fine but my line of the show is part of spending time together as a family is spending time apart as individuals it's margin the is saying, I don't want to be around my kids anymore. In the nicest way ever. I did like that. That is a great one.

Sorry. Here, I'll cut it in right now. You know, part of spending time together as a family is spending time apart as individuals. Parents Island. Uh-huh. Yeah, that she is already ready to dump the idea of spending time together. Yeah, she's like, let's get drunk and see. Well, because one ride was too exhausting for her.

This is also my mom at theme park. She kind of told me eventually what the issue was, that we'd always say, oh, you're such a scaredy cat. But no, it was that she has really bad motion sickness, like really bad. And she always underplayed because everybody and i include myself on it without her on that i'm just like yeah yeah motion sickness we've all been dizzy she's like no i i really can't do anything and you're just like oh god mom you and your disease yeah i i feel i feel really bad looking back on it but that's how that's kind of how it would be that's actually how it was the last time i went to theme parks

with my mom. She was good on a lot of rides, but she didn't know what Star Tours was. And when we sat down for Star Tours, I said, oh, it's like Back to the Future. She's like, oh, no. She literally had to lay down for 20 minutes afterwards. And she was done for the day. She's like, I'm not riding anything else. What a bummer. It pretty much was her feeling.

But okay, the 70s disco looks like John Travolta. It is a fun joke. And basically the decade of 84 to 94 is full of John Travolta starring in garbage and being unfamous. The Look Who's Talking films were the biggest things he'd been in. And that wasn't good. And at this point, this is the end of the look who's talking films were the biggest things he'd been in that wasn't good at this point this is the end of the look who's talking trilogy where it's like now it's dogs yes yeah 93 was his last movie before pulp fiction that was uh look who's

talking now so that's that's the problem though of this joke it the the joke implies that john is so unsuccessful that he'd work as a bartender in Itchy and Scratchy Land. He'd work as a lookalike of himself. Yes. But two weeks after this episode aired, Pulp Fiction premieres and will completely revitalize John Travolta's career bigger than ever afterwards. He would start earning like $20 million a movie and funneling that all into Scientology. This joke had 12 days to live before it was DOA. I think that's less time than the Magic Johnson from being on The Simpsons to him

confessing about his AIDS. But I mean, it premiered at Cannes in May, and I'm sure there was a lot of buzz about it then. Yeah, it was a very slow-rolling movie. But they were probably writing this episode in early winter or whatever. In January or something. If this aired in September, they at best would have episode in early winter or whatever. Yeah, in January or something.

If this aired in September, they at best would have been working on it in January. So when this aired, definitely the Hollywood insider writers and directors of The Simpsons probably knew Pulp Fiction was... Well, nobody knew Pulp Fiction was actually going to be a box office hit and a giant cultural touchstone. They probably just thought, yeah, John Travolta's in a good independent-ish movie. Good for him. He's not going to be famous again, though. He's not

going to star in Broken Arrow and Face Off and Michael and Phenomenon. Phenomenon! Oh, okay. Let's clear the runway for the greatest Simpsons joke ever written. This is my line of the show. I mean, great joke or greatest joke? I don't even know. I love it so much. Well, yeah, let's have the best line jingle first.

That's the joke. Look at all this great stuff, Elise. Cool, personalized plates. Barclay, Barry, Bert, Bort. Oh, come on. Bort? Mommy, Mommy, buy me a license plate. No, come along, Bort.

Are you talking to me? No, my son is also named Bort. Yes, mommy! Buy me a license plate! No. Come along, Bort. Are you talking to me? No. My son is also named Bort. Yes. Yes. So great. Okay, so I said the Marge thing was line of the show. That's still true. This transcends line of the show to basically line of the universe. Whenever I watch this episode, I get giddy during this. You're like, it's gonna happen! He's gonna say Bort!

It's so perfect! It's so perfect! It's such a pointless, silly line that creates a world that Bort is a more popular name than Bart. Yes. But also, I'm sure, I mean, we all have regular shmegular white guy names. Going to a gift shop, we would always find our own names on license plates. If you have a slightly off name, a slightly, like, non-white guy name, you're not going to find it. I'm sure those kids went through hell.

If you did as a listener, let us know because I know a lot of people that could never find their name on keychains or license plates or whatever. Equally rare is Barclay. Barclay. Well, that's what's so great. But Bort is the best. Well, so I actually did go through this a little bit. Henry is a lame white guy name. Yes.

But as a kid, if I haven't mentioned it before on the show, my nickname was Max. Like, my family, my mom is kind of getting out of the practice of calling me Max just because I am Henry Gilbert to the third. But I didn't want to be Henry. And they didn't want me to be Henry either, my parents. But they're like, well, it's a family name. What else are you going to name him? Henry Sr. and Jr. say so. But so from my birth, I was called Max.

And I went by Max all the time. And it's probably the name my mom and dad would have given to me were they not bound by it. And actually, it's why i was given sam and max comics way early because my my cool uncle who lived in california he went to cool comic book stores and found this independent comic called the adventures of sam and max and i i just loved it getting that so much so i would go through this like not only at theme parks but also at you know toys r us and seeing like oh

personalized things where's max like there never was max max too radical the children's name and so i i have experienced that i'd love to hear from listeners who also if they went through that it it shows you the limits of capitalism that they can't they're like look we maybe will get three kids ever who have this name and they're not gonna buy these things things. Yeah, and I'm sure they're all terrible too. Like, oh, it's all going to be kind of middle class white people visiting this park because of just pure economics. So let's make it for those people. They're the best.

But just the name Bort has grown so far beyond this thing. There's a great Slate article from a few years ago I read about the Bort love from Simpsons fanatics. Bill Oakley even has a comment in there of like, we thought it was funny, but we definitely didn't think it would be this popular. And then they talk about the phenomenon that actually getting a Bort license plate is not easy.

And they find like several people who have the Bort license plate in their state. Wow. Because you can be the only one in your state with a Bort license plate. And the one guy they met, he was like, he had Bort in one state, then moved to Austin, Texas, and he had to wait three years to get a Bort plate. And then he finally did. And he said that at first he was afraid to even put it on his car because someone's going

to steal this. So he put it in his window. But so it's, it's a very interesting story of the Bort plates. And if you go to Universal's, at least I can say this for the Orlando one, they, in their sections where they have personalized name things,

there are Borts. At first they had a space, an empty space for Bort to show that they are out of Bort plates, but then you can just buy Bort things. I bought a Bort keychain, a Bort name keychain for Michael Graham, who, he's the guy in my life who does the most Bort

references. His name is Bort. I have to say, like, we all talk about how we speak the Secret Simpsons language that 9 million other people speak, but just saying Bort or referencing Bort, well, just instant laughter. I remember we were at our old job and talking about the Naruto sequel Boruto and I was

just like my son is also named Boruto and one of our co-workers just started cracking up so I mean it wasn't a great joke but you can easily unlock so much humor just by using the word Bort in some way or my son is also named Blank it's such a beautiful Simpsons non sequitur that isn't like a joke per se,

but it just creates such a weird world. I love Bort. It's so great. And then I was shocked that right after Bort comes another joke I love. Oh, yes. Who are all these characters? Well, you're probably too young to remember the short-lived itching, scratching friends hour.

They had to come up with some friends. There's Disgruntled Goat, Uncle Ant, Ku Klux Klan. Oh, yeah. They weren't very funny. I don't know. Disgruntled Goat had his moments. This was the first time I got the joke, Uncle Ant. Uncle Ant?

As in Uncle Ant. I guess it is that bad. Yeah, it's a lame joke. I'm not saying it's good, but I get it as a wordplay. As an animation dork, I love the implication of the Itchy and Scratchy and Friends Hour because I know from watching every rerun of cartoons that there's, say, original Flintstones, and then there's the Flintstones Comedy Hour, the Pebbles and Bam Bam Hour, all these spinoffy ones that add extra characters like these characters really

suck except for captain caveman pebbles and bam bam had a rock band with extra characters in it well yes because in the 70s teen cartoons were really big so like well then we got to age up pebbles and bam bam to teens and have them basically have josie and the pussycat style adventures i mean i want to hope that klu klux klan was a villain but given roger meyer senior's predilections who knows that's true which uh but but i also like it feels like a moment i have absolutely had at theme parks of seeing of being the dork with other people like i don't even know this character who's this duck and you're like well actually in this episode uh in this one donald duck cartoon he meets this character and

that's who this is that's this is gladstone goose or or uh the big one was at horse horse caller yes yeah or at tokyo disney sea which is an amazing theme park uh if just book your flight to tokyo and then go to a theme park. But it really is great. But at it, they have some of the weirdest things. I was like, they have multiple, like, wolf toys are super popular. They're like, well, let's get every wolf in it. I was like, I never thought I'd see a toy of the Big Bad Wolf from the Three Little Pigs short.

With the weird head? Yes. Yeah. And his, like, patchy overalls like it's so that's i have been bart at theme parks of saying oh you probably don't remember this but it's from this this cartoon i know max from goof troop is all around japan disneyland yes yeah it's i don't know why i mean so when max you get a theme park oh yeah you're right uh tokyo disney sea is is beautiful though i i really love my trip there i have to go

there again i i want to go my next trip to japan i want to go actually to universal osaka but i want to plan it around the opening of the nintendo land uh though a year after that so when the lines have gone down if you think lines are bad at american theme parks, the Japanese know how to line up for shit. Like, you're going to have twice the line. Impressive lines. The next scene we get, though, before we move on to the Roger Myers senior film, a really brief scene, TGI McScratchy's

Good Time Food Drinkery. And I think the common theme on Parents Island is every person there hates their jobs and wants to die. Yeah, I love the joke of it's always new year's eve and they think it's fun but they realize the repetitiveness of it is is horribly depressing to the people who work there and it's something you think about of you when you think of the employees at a theme park who have to repeat things all the time oh god i thought about it the

first time i thought about it as a kid was going on the King Kong ride and realizing, like, this, every King Kong ride, the woman on this ride has to say the same lines every time all day long. And there's actually a really great Weird Al song about this subject called Skipper Dan. Let's hear a little bit of that here. I've heard it before. Is that a Fountains of Wayne style parody? I think so.

It sounds like it. Like when he parodies styles but not actual songs. It's something that's less known in the Weird Al oeuvre, unless you're an obsessive of it, that he does songs that are style parodies. Dare to be Stupid is probably his most famous one. Yeah. Frank's 2000 Inch TV.

Yeah. Things like that. The one about Charles Nelson Reilly is a White Stri things like that uh the one about charles nelson riley is a white stripes one and the video makes it even more clear but oh everything you know is wrong is that they might be giant song yeah that's my favorite i think and uh but skipper dan i love it because it is about it's the story of a guy who was a great actor who moved to la to become a movie star and then he he became a Disney cruise ride guy who just constantly points out the same thing over and over again,

and it is about the depression of that repetition. But I love that song. It is a Kafkaesque nightmare. I would assume, like, if I had this job, do you maybe still have that glimmer of hope, like, I have to put my all into every performance because maybe this time, like, Steven Spielberg's assistant is on the ride today and might recruit me.

It's true. Or like Robin Williams was on your ride. He's like, you could have tried harder, man. I'm really disappointed in you. Like, yeah. I would think at that point then you'd kill yourself. The landmines thing, another sign joke I didn't get the first time, that it is sponsored laramie which laramie cigarette sponsors the landmines which is another reference to how epcot i think is the guiltiest oh you're right sponsorship thing and just it's the theme parks are expensive so they

gotta sometimes you gotta have horrible sponsorships but i don't think disney will even in the 90s would have worked with a cigarette company they They probably wouldn't have done that. And, okay, so then we get our introduction and the creation of a Roger Myers Sr. Right. Was he mentioned before in Itchy and Scratchy the movie? I believe never. Okay, I didn't think so. I think they do imply in Itchy and Scratchy the movie that Itchy and Scratchy has existed that long.

Yeah. But they didn't say that they were a descendant. Like, Roger Myers does not really appear in Itchy and Scratchy the movie. has existed that long yeah but they didn't say that they were descendant like roger myers does not really appear in itchy and scratchy the movie it's not about that episode and so it's not about his ownership or the parentage of it and then the next time you see him in the front how we use electricity can be smarter cleaner and greener at electric ireland we can help guide you there you see our new net zero hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans ev tariffs solar panels and much more making your usage clearer your trips greener your home cozier and your world brighter find our net zero hub at electric

ireland.ie. He's more of a Hanna-Barbera type who's like, no, I have always owned this. And I think like in Itchy and Scratchy and Marge, he was named Roger Myers Jr. to imply like he's sort of a Roy Disney or like the child of a great legend who created these characters. That's true, yeah. But they never really talk about Roger Myers Sr. So this is our first touch on him.

Great, great stuff. I love it all so much it's so great roger meyer senior the gentle genius behind itchy and scratchy loved and cared about almost all the peoples of the world and he in return was beloved by the world except in 1938 when he was criticized for his controversial cartoon nazi supermen are our superiors great stuff i love that it's it's a great parody of the fawning disney documentaries you'll see at disneyland of like walt disney the greatest man who ever lived where they just step over his character flaws you know well that's what also the film um mr uh the the film about the making of mary poppins, Mr. Brooks?

I think something like that. But in it, it was the first time they'd ever had somebody play Walt Disney. Tom Hanks plays Walt Disney. And they wouldn't. Disney still was like, you can imply, the Disney Corporation was like, you can have him mention that he smokes cigarettes, but we really are uncomfortable with you showing Walt Disney smoking. He's like, well, he died of fucking cancer you know i'm sure there's a million videos of him smoking yeah but yeah so the nazi supermen are our superiors it is obviously a joke about the assumed anti-semitism of walt disney which were chris here i would also agree with

him he'd point out that like that records of that are spotty at best. He more so, I would definitely agree he hated union organizers, and a lot of them were Jewish, and he didn't like those Jews union organizing. But I am also of the belief I don't think he was any more anti-Semitic than the average rich man was in 1940. I also want to say all of our listeners should go listen to You Must Remember This, a great podcast. They have an entire episode about the Disney strike, an entire 13-part episode about the blacklist. And basically what you learn is it all comes down to money.

Yes. Okay, so Disney didn't want unions in his organization because money. What is a good way to gin up fear and distrust of people in unions? You associate them with undesirables. Like at that time it was black distrust of people in unions. You associate them with undesirables. Like at that time, it was black people, Jewish people, foreigners. You could easily paint all those people with the same brush and gin up hysteria for them. Fortunately, that doesn't happen now.

Nobody scapegoats any other people to get away from blaming capitalism for stuff. But I love that series, though, because you got in trouble. You lost your job. You were blacklisted if you hated Hitler before it was cool to hate Hitler. That's one of my fascist hatred. That's one of my favorite things of like when they look back on people to call communists in the 50s are like, well, before Pearl Harbor, you were against Hitler. And the only reason you do that is if Joseph Stalin was paying you to hate Hitler. It's like there's no other reason that you can hate Hitler in America before Pearl Harbor. Unless you're a Jew.

But then if you're a Jew, you're probably a communist too. Bringing communism to America. But yeah, it was unnaturally proto-anti-fascist or something. Something like that. Some weird thought crime. When I heard that, I i was like holy shit like it it blew my mind like oh yeah that's always been america like that's always it's another defense of disney thing i will say is that he never made a pro nazi cartoon and in fact made

anti-nazi cartoons which were funded propaganda by the taxpayers yeah he didn't just do them because he hated it the best one probably to watch is Der Fuhrer's Face. It's great. It's great. It is a great cartoon. One of the best animated ones ever. It is also pure propaganda. Like when Donald wakes up from his dream that he is a Nazi and that he literally wakes up

in American flag pajamas and then kisses a Statue of Liberty, a golden Statue of Liberty, and then says, I'm so happy to be an American citizen. They kind of gloss over the major problems of Nazi Germany. The main gist of it is, if you were in Nazi Germany, you'd be working really hard. Yeah, well, hey, they still got in jokes to say that Goebbels is gay. They still got in that. And, of course, Hirohito, like, he... He looks different.

He's basically a gecko. Yeah. Like, he has green skin. Gross. But it's... Is this whole thing ignoring the fact that, like, in the Itchy and Scratchy movie episode, they made Itchy and Scratchy beat up Hitler? Yes.

Well, see, 1938 was when he made nazi or nazi superman or our superiors in 38s you could be kind of friends with hitler in america yeah he backed the wrong horse back yeah he but there were lots of uh people who backed the wrong horse before before lindbergh yeah lindbergh or there was also uh oh my God, on the Choppa Trap House podcast, I learned about how the guy who wrote the Harvard fight song was best friends with, was like good pals with Hitler and helped write Nazi anthems. And then afterwards, they never talked. They just welcomed back, like, yeah, the guy who wrote the Hitler fight song, come back. Or the guy who wrote the Harvard fight song. The Hitler fight song.

They never talked. So lots of people were friends with it it's a great moment in citizen kane where they are playing back citizen uh charles foster's kane's life right yeah showing like and infamy and showing him shaking hands with hitler that's still a better special effect than anything in forest gump i have to say it held up a lot better but Speaking of special effects, there was Scratchtasia. Yes. Scratchtasia is beautiful. I re-watched Sorcerer's Apprentice after watching it. I was like, it is so perfect.

The animators do it perfectly of the Mickey shattering, like chopping to death. The broom scene is exactly the same. It's some of the most fluid animation they've done. The animators went hog wild with Scratchy. It's a lot to ask the TV animators make this look like a classic Disney thing and more frames. Some of the best animation of all time. Make it look like that.

I have to point out, so in Itchy and Scratchy the movie it was a big deal that Itchy and Scratchy were having a movie. They've had several movies throughout history. You're right. You know? Come on, Pinichio, Scratchtasia. But I was also trying to think, watching this, like it was rare to see Scratchy do violence to Itchy. Oh, yeah.

I was trying to remember the last time or any other time. At times, Scratchy will do violence if Itchy gets him back. Though, of course, in Homer Goes to College, it was a major moment that Itchy, or Scratchy finally gets Itchy. And they could never show it again not in a million years like i mean like even attempted violence on itchy that's true that's foiled i can only think of when they were using the guns on each other but that was like but but in that but obviously it was to you can't kill itchy at the the i love the breaking down of

the cells it had it was kind of it almost tiny axes it almost felt like futurama-y science-y stuff like well if you could chop down the broom into 20 pieces and they come back as brooms that size does that work infinitely if you were to chop it into dust would they then just be more brooms i gotta say a major bummer in looking up the sorcerer's apprentice i forgot that there was a live action movie with nicholas cage in 2010 and i'm thinking what could that even be about yeah i know it has nothing to do with the animated shore they're just coasting on the name or whatever but jesus christ nicholas nicholas cage is yen sid and he's teaching a shia labeouf type how to be a sorcerer as as we point out many times uh chris has smartly pointed out until they spent four billion dollars on Marvel and then another $4 billion on Star Wars,

they tried to make their old rides and cartoons into things for young men. And it worked for Pirates of the Caribbean, but not so much for The Haunted Mansion. Yeah, or Country Bears. And, yeah, then we get the return of Cletus!

Oh, go get me a picture of that crazy creature! No flash, but I would be pleased. How did he afford that? How did he afford to get to the park? That's true. I'm gonna think he snuck in. Yeah. I'd say that.

I gotta say, Cletus has gotten more articulate over there. Look at my paintball cake, Cletus! You can barely understand what he's saying. That's true. His hillbilly factor was toned down over the years. Now you can understand what he's saying. That's true. You got less. This hillbilly factor was toned down over the years. Now you can understand what he's saying. And it is a real flaw in the robots that flash photography kills them, which like there would always be flash photography in the park. They'd be like 800 times a day.

I think they figured since the robots are outside, people would turn their flashes off because it's not going to do anything if you're outside. That's true. And man, I wince every time I see that eyeball poke-out joke in Pinocchio. Like, I like how he goes, ouchie! You'll be good! Castellaneta on the commentary points out that

he's recognizing he's defaming his Italian ancestry with that voice. But just itchy, like laughing for that extra few seconds so the robot can burst through. Yeah, to imply how desensitized they are. I do like that extra laughing. It's kind of, it'd be weird to think of that in the movie. They got full time.

They got to make it to 90 minutes at least. Then we get the second appearance of the Little Bastards brand for the stink bomb. The traveling kit, yeah. And I love the, I just love all the sounds of the guys in the shoes it's just water to entertain

and that's where the SS uniform guards like show up to capture they're really getting much clearer on the Nazi imagery and the Westworld imagery too if you see so any of the scenes in this episode of people like looking at monitors talking into microphones that's Westworld imagery, too. If you see any of the scenes in this episode of people looking at monitors, talking into microphones, that's Westworld. Anytime they're in the Itchy and Scratchy Land bunker with stark white walls and long hallways, that's also Westworld.

Anytime there are robots strapped down and they're taking them apart, that's also Westworld. Including when they take the face off of Scratchy or Itchy. They do that with Yul Brynner in Westworld. Yeah, it's a great scene in Westworld. He doesn't scream, and I love, like, why do they scream? Actually, yeah, let's hear that. Muffin bucket man to the exit of the nauseator. We have another jumper in the roof with TGM and Scratchies.

We need more Bort license plates in the gift shop. I repeat, we are sold out of Bort license plates. I really wished it wouldn't scream. A little, meh. I really wished it wouldn't scream that little but the callback to Bort I think that cemented it as a forever thing like the Bort scene is great but then having the callback I think it makes it perfect

I think one of my favorite nonsensical lines in an episode that has a lot of nonsensical lines Bart saying before he attacks I forget if it's itchy or scratchy but before he attacks the puppet so you if it's itchy or scratchy, but before he attacks the puppet so you think you're God's gift to women, eh? It's itchy. It's itchy, and it's like, but he's

just performing in front of families. I just wanted to entertain. Yeah, it's so weird that that's where he... I feel like there's something missing, or it's just like... If it's a reference to a movie, I don't know. I think Bart is jealous of itchy because itchy's getting all the attention. He's a reference to a movie, I don't know. I think Bart is jealous of Itchy because Itchy's getting all the attention. He's a guy in a costume getting attention, and he assumes that's the coolest thing you could be is a guy in an Itchy suit.

Oh, and I didn't mention it before, but I love their vacation outfit design. Oh, me too. Yeah, they're very cute. It's new designs for them, especially Lisa and her drawstring pullover and pants. I think because she would be kind of cold at that amusement park yeah just a regular margina nice sweater yeah it's a homer in a green jacket and marge trying to get those personalized shirts i just love the line you're older balder fetter son and that uh and then marge wishes to be thrown in a hole like uh thrown the hole like yes the german soldiers they have to be thrown in a hole, like, uh, thrown in the hole, like, yes, the German soldiers,

they have to be German just to make it even more clear. Like these are SSU and they're going to kill her. And, uh, yeah, then we get another scene. That's basically a combo Westworld Jurassic Park scene. You've got to listen to me.

Elementary chaos theory tells us that all robots will eventually turn against their masters and run amok in an orgy of blood and kicking and the biting with the metal teeth and the hurting and shoving. How much time do we have, Professor? Well, according to my calculations, the robots won't go berserk for at least 24 hours. Oh, I forgot to carry the wad. He breaks their necks like they're dead but his arms just shoot out and grab both of them by the neck and i was glad in that scene that was frank because i think if they didn't have a frank they would have just had a jeff goldblum type yeah to give that speech the that scene is basically in westworld to say the robots are going to go crazy but saying chaos theory that makes it the Jurassic Park.

He's no dreamy Ian Malcolm. In Westworld, what happens is a robot snake bites James Brolin, and then they cut back to that bunker or whatever, saying, oh, that should never happen. There should be a.003 margin of error. And then as the movie goes on, the error escalates until everyone is dead so and uh then when they get freed homer talks about how he's a political prisoner and i i do love that line like do i have to die draw you a diagram it should be so obvious uh and then they get confronted by the robots which homer thinking the robots in love with him is a really dumb joke but i love it super looney tunes hey look this one's coming on to me he pulls out a handkerchief like only in cartoons like and in the 1930s did anybody

wave a handkerchief at someone and then homer is like responsive to a robot being in love with him too really open-minded it's funny that's funny and i think this is the first time they recognize homer in universe has only two hairs and yeah gets them chopped off and it kind of remains that way for much of the rest of the scene and he has in a lot of shots you'll see his two little hairs like when he says, nobody does this with me. Maybe the boy. He still has the nubs of hair, not the full comb over. Watching this episode, every time, it always just feels abrupt that they go from daytime, go to the jail, then it's nighttime.

And there's no park closing scene or something i guess you can i inferred of just like the time it took them to free homer and bart took it was like hours or at least an hour so it lets sunset pass and they're the last people there and they're being let out but i gotta say this third act is so short it's like a three minute act yeah right but it's it's great yeah i just noticed how short it was after watching it again it's great and. I love this cutaway. I know we should have gone to the bird sanctuary. I need the biggest seed bell you have. No, that's too big.

I've said that a million times. No, that's too big. I want to see the size of the seed bell that they told him about. So that implies that if they had gone to the bird sanctuary instead of being in a Westworld parody, they'd be in a birds parody. That scene exactly is in the birds. Tippi Hedren is in a telephone booth and the birds are smashing into it. It would have made for a less exciting episode but they probably could have outrun the robots they only just kind of marched pretty slow everybody else did but well they do outrun the robots to get to the escape helicopter but then

there's nowhere left to run yeah which i guess at the very least that implies why they came in in a helicopter that it's why they can't just if If this happened at Disney World, you leave Disney World. If you have to run on foot out of Disney World, you can do it. If you are on an island, then you can't. And you are trapped fighting the robots. They'll run out of energy eventually. And I liked... When you get to Hell's Element, he sent you that.

That's a funny line. But then he said, like, you didn't like our capering. That he used the word capering was very fun yes and uh and then there's a very weird adr line where marge was like looks like we're doomed which just felt like yeah i felt like adr just for pacing reason and it's footage you're going to see like in a minute in less than a minute it's so it's it's really recognizable recycled animation i feel like they it was just an EP decision of, we need to let people know they're worried they're going to die.

Yeah, or this is a very serious situation. Yes, but then they discover a way out. Dad, the Flash must have scrambled their circuits. Who are you, the narrator? Just keep taking pictures. I'll get more cameras. Smashy, smashy. that's a great march line i also like the scene before with homer throwing just random objects out of his jacket and pants including his underwear at the robots i i love that and that he somehow had a banana with him the entire time. Yeah. That Homer, I think the joke, too, is that in a movie, the first or second thing Homer

would have thrown would have been the camera, just to get to it, but that he has to throw six things before he throws his camera. Two pocketfuls of change. Which, by the way, people, before phones existed, there were these things called cameras that only took photos, and they had flashes on them. I'm a little confused. So the cameras are what started them going crazy. No, no, no.

No? It's separate. Cameras kill the robots, but it's elementary chaos theory just says that eventually the robots will malfunction. But doesn't Cletus' camera? He kills a robot with it, but it does not cause them to break. So they are interrelated, but one doesn't cause the other. The Cletus scene just introduces the way it is the Chekhov's gun, pretty much,

or Chekhov's hillbilly, of introducing that. And it was a very Mercanty, wonderful Mercant moment of Homer calling out Lisa's exposition. Are you the narrator? He's annoyed by the solution to their problems. And I love Bart.

It's such a great Bart moment. I'd be like, I could smash more things. Nobody can stop me. I don't approve of that. Smashy, smashy. And yeah, just some great action scenes of the Simpsons killing robots all night long. And I also, if it wasn't for Bort, this would be my line of action. It's good.

And now say cheese. With a dry, cool wit like that, I could be an action hero. Die, bad robot, die! With a dry, cool wit like that, I could be an action hero. Who would have thought that our visit to Digi and Scratchy Lane would turn out to be our best vacation ever? They really don't do jokes like that. Speaking over other people. Speaking over other people.

Bart recognizing that Homer's repeating his joke. And it was also a worse joke that Homer shouldn't have congratulated himself on. Die, bad robots! Yeah, it wasn't even funny. Bart's delivery at least is Arnold Schwarzenegger-esque. But it's such a great moment of Bart recognizing he's in a show yeah just it's so beautiful uh and and the talking over homer i wish they did do that more uh and then it's weird that like they make jokes out of arnold puns and the worst is still yet to come with batman and

robin oh yeah it's true ice puns ice freeze cold cool those those are really bad but i would say your luggage before he shoots an alligator in Eraser is the worst one. I'm a big fan of stick around in The Predator when he throws the knife into the guy. That is good. I mean, all the best ones are in, well, there's a commando. He's like, I'm going to kill you last. They're like, fuck you. No, fuck you.

Well, speaking of wishes, I really wish this was Alex Rocco. Me too. It's a funny line. It's Homer being an expert negotiator, though. As Roger Myers Jr., the owner of the park, I'd like to thank you for stopping the killer robots. And to show my appreciation, here are two free passes. But there are five of us.

Here are two free passes. That's better. Man, this is happening here. I hate to think what's happening in Euro-itchy and scratchy land. Hello? Itchy and scratchy land open for business. Who are you to resist it, huh? Come on, my last paycheck bounced. My children need wine.

Je t'ai pas fait de gants. Tous les gants se couchant. Okay. Based on my research, that French is gibberish. It's all gibberish, yeah. He just made up some French. Impressively ad-libbing fake French, I gotta say. It was also cut out of syndication.

Those last two French lines. And as a matter of fact, I think the entire scene... That scene goes on a little long. I think the entire scene afterwards is also cut. Oh, really? It felt abrupt to me. That obviously is a reference to Euro Disneyland, now called Disneyland

Paris, which had just opened in 1992. Just two years before this. I remember jokes outside of The Simpsons talking about how desolate and unpopular it was. It was famously unpopular. At the time it was famously unpopular. The story on opening day, I looked into this unpopular the the story on opening day i i looked

into this a bit the story on opening day was that they thought there'd be terrible traffic coming there so they actually encouraged people to not come i'm just like hey be ready for bad traffic and then nobody came so it was like 25 000 people were there the first day which is a very low number for a theme park yeah and it's still been a big loss uh apparently it's kind of it's kind of that disney doesn't have direct control over it it's more like they licensed it to a bunch of big companies in europe to then build in and it's sort of like a a real estate scheme too interesting but it's weird but it was created in the same way that tokyo disney sea and tokyo Tokyo Disneyland were created, and those are awesome.

But I think, too, it feels like a cultural thing that apparently in both England and the rest of Europe, Disney isn't not known. Like, Disney isn't unknown there, but it doesn't really have the love that, like, Americans or the Japanese have for it. Yeah, I did a little crack in the books on this because I remember all of those jokes in 90s sitcoms about Euro Disneyland and how no one liked it. You're right, Hank. 25,000 in its first season, I guess. They expected 60,000, but there was also a recession happening in France. But from having studied French and forgotten

all of it, I know for a fact that there's a certain resistance towards American pop culture in France. There is a committee in France that is engineered to keep American words out of the French language. So I feel like Japan loves American culture. America loves American culture, obviously, but maybe not so much Europe. But France loves the culture that we hate.

Yes, Jerry Lewis. But then Japan loves France, too. Yeah, it was. I think it was that too. It's definitely in the early 90s especially you could find no more like symbolic of American imperialism in pop culture than Disney. Oh yeah. I think there's more now.

I'd say Transformers actually is a bigger representative of it. But so there was a rejection of that and too that reminded me Bob that I saw that it was partially France's much better for workers laws a rejection of that and too that reminded me bob that i saw that it was partially france's uh much better for workers laws oh really mesh well with disney's not good for workers i see and then a lot of there was really high turnover with the with the people who worked in there because they're

like oh these these laws your american rules in france fucking suck compared to where i work in other places i didn't know that. I do have written down that in 1995 it started turning a profit. So this joke was about to become dated, too. Though in 2015, apparently, it was still struggling enough that, like, Disney had to basically forgive a billion dollars in debt on it to keep it open. It was like, well, either Euro Disneyland will close, which would be a terrible thing for Disney's image. Or they have to give a billion. They have to be like, all right, a terrible thing for Disney's image. Or they have to give a billion.

They have to be like, all right, don't give us a billion dollars. Like, just stay open. So, I don't know. I've never been there. I think it'd be fun to check it out, Disneyland Paris. I've actually never been to Disneyland. That's great. I've said it before. I love the Magic Kingdom.

I loved Tokyo DisneySea because obviously Japan does everything better. But I would like to check out the now called Disneyland Paris. And they have like a Ratatouille thing that just opened there, which is, I believe, exclusive to that park. Which obviously, obviously Ratatouille. Makes sense. And then the ending moral seems very tacked on. But knowing the thing you mentioned at the start About how this was all inspired by

How itchy and scratchy affects children This is clearly Merkin speaking to the audience About why you shouldn't worry I just love the dull artless violence in this clip Yes I hope you realize now that violence on TV may be funny But it's not so funny when that violence is happening to you. But it would be funny to someone who is watching us.

No, Mom, he's right. Observe. Oh, my. Lisa, go to your room. I guess Marge was kind of upset with herself, too, that Lisa showed her she was a bad person. She was mad at Lisa for proving her hypocrisy. That's why Lisa's grumble is like, I didn't do anything wrong. I guess that's the weird part is that it doesn't so much end on a joke, but it ends on the reaction to a joke.

You've laughed at Bart getting hit, and then you're all a little bit guilty. It's actually not unlike the I Didn't Do It episode. It ends with Lisa going to her room. Oh, you're right, but she chose to go to her room. Yeah, I feel like the message is he's trying to say violence on TV is fine. Violence against real people is not, and there's a huge difference, and these are cartoon characters, so shut up. Yeah, so if you –

Violence against robots is great. Yeah, I mean, you know, hey, I am less as strict of like cartoon violence doesn't matter at all. I do think as I feel we have a South Park generation of people now that like terrify me. So I do think things inspire people. Bad politics are worse than any violence. Yes, I'd say more so than that. And so I don't, I am also fine with cartoon violence. I do think there are cartoons that like, it should never not be available. Like, Der Fuhrer's Face should always be available.

You should be able to look it up. I wouldn't show it to kids under 10 who didn't know what Nazis are or the historical context. I think it was worse when I was a kid that they they got those world war ii cartoons or blatantly racist cartoons just as part of a pack of looney tunes crap i had to ask my mom what war bonds were in rations and stuff like what are they talking about or what blackface minstrelsy was like this 4f thing in the epic yeah what is 4f or i mean the one that i feel so uncomfortable about now is the it is a very funny Bugs Bunny cartoon where Elmer Fudd is a Mountie and

he's attacking a Mountie and then at the end Bugs is going to is being sentenced to death and is like well what's your last wish in front of a firing squad like I wish I wasn't Dixie hooray and then it is a smash cut to them performing that song in blackface which at a time when blackface

is an acceptable kind of comedy then it's just a funny cutaway like this is how we end the episode now it's very uncomfortable to see it is bugs bunny in blackface and and i'd like to think in the 40s there were lots of people who were uncomfortable with it so i'm not apologizing for that but the kids in my youth had much worse cartoons just because they would license anything to just fill time on tv yeah now there's too much original content so there's no need to show old looney tunes to kids it only exists to be watched by old dorkuses who want to see old cartoons i mean we turned out okay that's why we're recording a

two-hour podcast about a 22-minute show. Yes, yes. It's probably our longest episode ever. I'm so afraid for the next one. But thank you for listening, everybody. This has been Talking Simpsons. I have been your host, Bob Mackey, and you can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo.

My other podcast is Retronauts. You can find that at retronauts.com or look up Retronauts in your podcast machine every Monday and occasionally Friday. It's a classic gaming podcast. If you just go into the archives, I'm sure you'll find one that you want to listen to and go from there, I say.

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Nah, but seriously, sign up for our Patreon. $5 a month will net you every episode of The Simpsons going forward, ad-free and a week early. Not to mention, we have already started posting Talking Critic, where we're going to go through every episode of The Critic from the beginning. And that will only be on Patreon. $5 a month. And for $10 a month, you get access to some extra cool video exclusive things there patreon.com slash talking simpsons uh and if you loved all of the uh theme park references in this episode we just did a laser time episode somewhat recently about uh theme park uh specifically

universal studios and disney and all the attractions that have now since been decommissioned about theme parks, specifically Universal Studios and Disney and all the attractions that have now since been decommissioned and what replaced them and all the history wherewithin. And there's also Lazer Time's Patreon, patreon.com slash Lazer Time.

We have the weekly show Bonus Time, which there's also a recent episode that both of you guys are on. And, man, I'm surprised we haven't done Jurassic Park. We probably should at some point. Yeah. Or Westworld.

You'll hit another anniversary. Yes. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week with Sidetrill Bob Roberts. See you then. Wow. Infotainment.