Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Lisa Beauty Queen

Episode Date: September 28, 2016

Lisa isn’t feeling too pretty on this week’s podcast, so Homer does his best to help her by putting her in a beauty pageant. And somehow that leads to her becoming an activist? We unlock it all in this week’s podcast…

today's talking simpsons is brought to you by tula probiotic skincare and talking simpsons listeners can go to try tula that's t-u-l-a dot com slash laser time and get 20 off their first order with free shipping i heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, ahoy, everybody. Welcome to Talking Simpsons. This is the Laser Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of the Simpsons. I am your host, Bob Mackie, and when I grow up, I want to be a little sweetie pie. Who else is here with me today? Amber Dempsey-Fentz is day one, Chris Anteaston. Awesome, and who else do we have?

Petroleum Jelly fan, Henry Gilbert. Not really, that is the most disgusting Homer's ever been. It's pretty delicious. And today's episode is Lisa. Hey there, blimpy boy, flying through the sky so fancy free. That's so nice. And today's episode is Lisa the Beauty Queen, which aired on October 15th, 1992. Chris, what happened on this

mythical day in Simpsons history? Oh my god! You will not believe it. The day after their flag was flown upside down, the Toronto Blue Jays beat the Braves in Game 3 of the World Series. Madonna's sex book debuts, then gets immediately pulled from American bookshelves,

and Garth Brooks' The Chase dominated the pop charts. I have seen scans of that book on the internet, and it seems pretty hot. Vanilla Ice's ass. Your number one stop. That book was like a mythical... Yeah, that book was like a mythical item when I was a child.

Like, did you hear about this book? It's supposed to be the dirtiest thing. It was all over the news and I've seen it and I've, just thinking about it,

like, when someone is so popular they get a bullshit book deal. Like, we just did an Ernest episode. Ernest has a book. And that's all this is,

but Madonna's like, yeah, I'm just gonna do nude shoots in it. And it became the most controversial thing in the world. And it's all like photos, right? It's just a photo. Yeah, it's a bullshit thing. It's total bullshit.

Well, is this where her hitchhiking naked picture came from, or was that before this? No, but she did look great. Good for you, Madonna. I will not disagree with that. No, Madonna, super hot. But also, in October 15th, 1992, that was when my family moved

to Jacksonville, Florida, in the home that I would live in until I moved out here. So Florida from Arkansas, was that a lateral move? What do you consider a better place? So first it was Arkansas, a suburb of Arkansas, Pine Bowl of Arkansas, to a suburb of Atlanta, Georgia, Marietta. Oh, wow. And Atlanta, Georgia is the big city of the South. It's the closest thing to a Yankee city in the South. So why was your family on the run, Henry?

Well, it's just where my dad's job took him. Like, his job in Arkansas... It's that brief period where the McCoys took over the Hatfields ahead of the war. So his job in Arkansas then took him to Marietta. And then when he got the pink slip there, he stayed unemployed for a little while until his friend got him a job at his new place in Jacksonville. And so we moved to Florida for that

and uprooted our lives and all that. I do think it kind of affected me. I maybe had the mental strength to deal with one move as a kid, but for two moves, I was like, eh, all right. That's a lot. I had one move in me. My roots are gone.

All my roots are gone. And that's when I started to put on weight and had a lot of depression issues. But anyway, the nice thing when we moved there, though, it was Marietta was a fancier place. To go down to Jacksonville was less fancy. And I don't think my dad liked the big city feel of Atlanta. I think he preferred the smaller town feel of Orange Park, Florida,

especially because you didn't have to go to Jacksonville for much stuff, nor did he want to. But when we got there, though, so we moved into the place, but we didn't have all our stuff. We did have our TV, our VCR, and not even all of our chairs and stuff. We were going to get a new couch. We didn't have it yet. So we were sitting in lawn chairs taping and watching this episode of The Simpsons.

That's awesome. I remember it distinctly being this one and us getting, I think, Pizza Hut pizza, I believe it was. Before the Bigfoot era. Yeah, just before the Bigfoot era. Reggie Fils-Aimé. And my parents are just now selling the house. Just my dad lives there now. But the house is being sold, and I've seen pictures of it.

They completely renovated it because our cats destroyed it. We didn't take good care of it either. My dad was of the mind to like, yeah, why bother fixing stuff? It's going to break anyways. But now to resell it, now to actually put it on the market, all this shit had to be fixed. And so it looks completely different. It doesn't even look like my house anymore. Henry, that was the most shameless plug I've ever heard on this show. You trying to sell your house. Buy my house. Where is this listed? Where can I see this house? Birch Park, Florida.

Awesome. Lasertimepodcast.com. It's funny you mention this. Whenever I move to a new place, my first ritual is set up the TV, put on Simpsons DVDs, and then unpack. There you go. I have Simpsons DVDs on in the background while I unpack. It's just the constant stream of comfort during the worst kind of thing ever. Yeah.

Moving sucks. I think that's why I haven't moved in the last seven years, because I just hate it so much. It's awful. You reassess your life. Yeah. It's like, I am just a monster. Seeing this pile of crap, like,

what if a match fell into this? Would everything be better? Would I be buried in this junk if I died here? Like, why do I need this? Only when an older family member dies do you realize what a burden you will be to everyone who has to go through your shit and throw away most of it and be like, who is this person? Like, what are they even collecting?

So, sorry to bring everybody down, but this episode begins... I wanted to say that. It begins with something I've talked about many times before. Disney? No. Well, that is great. I didn't get that clip, but just go watch the episode. This episode's so good. I did want to mention that Disney thing because this is one of two times

they reference a famous Disney lawsuit or a pending lawsuit. I might have mentioned it during the Brother Can You Spare Two Dimes episode where I'll put Mickey's pants back on, the massage parlor thing. Disney was attempting to sue some Florida daycares who put Disney characters on their murals. Oh my God, how prevalent that was

in small areas of Florida. And I remember being in Vermont and like, there's no way Disney signed off on a Tinkerbell gas station. That didn't happen. And apparently, Hanna-Barbera stepped in like, you could use our characters. And they were like, okay. Nobody else's.

I feel bad for those kids, but it was Disney trying to crack down on people using their characters. Like, small businesses, like, who gives a shit? But this was the Simpsons referencing it twice, and this was like, the Springfield Festival was like the happiest place on Earth or whatever. Yes, that's what it was. But Skinner, like you just said.

Copyright expired. So good. Skinner reveals he's an X-Scream beret. Yeah. You know, it was funny at the time, but it now felt extreme to see Burns' lawyer getting kicked. Yeah. I was like, I'm fine with the goons getting it.

Like the last episode, a different level of animation coming from the new film Roman. I think maybe showing off or putting more flourish than Matt Groening even would have liked. Him first person kicking the camera. Skinner kicks the camera. That was pretty great. Doesn't he adjust his tie? Yeah. That's the most un-Simpson shot ever.

I loved it. And I love the suitcase throw. That's great. But this is the thing that immediately hit me because I've said it a billion times on a billion podcasts. When the show started, I was exactly Bart's age. I was going to ask you about this, Chris. I was exactly Bart's age. I was 8 or 9

in 19... What? 89? And now I'm... Not only am I exactly Homer's age, here's the opening of Homer at the Carnival. I'd say 53 years old and 420 pounds. Ha ha, you lose. 36 and 239.

One, 420, guys. Two, that is like my exact weight. And age. I am Homer's weight and age. Yeah, it's not fun to be that. I was going to ask you, I think Henry and I are now Marge's age. Henry officially is now Marge's age. Yeah, it's not fun to be that. I was going to ask you, I think Henry and I are now Marge's age. Henry officially is now Marge's age. Does anybody know

of any cool pre-order bonuses for guns? I think Homer is drawn, though, not like a 239 pound. No, no. In fact, he would be made older. I think Oakley and Weinstein aged him up to 39 and then later he'd be 42. I think 42 is

now his canonical age. Oh, really? Okay. They made him 38 in the Humberpalooza. Yeah. They made him 38 in that. In the terrible Spring Break episode, Kill the Alligator and Run, we discover he's 42. So I think that was the last time they aged him up, yes. But now he's 36, which seems disturbingly young as a 34-year-old

man recording an episode about The Simpsons. A podcast episode. But there's a lot of great little Carnival jokes in this. I love the Martin being sprayed in the face with a water gun. It was great. The great little Haggis joke. That's where I learned about Haggis.

The spook house. And also just one tiny Otto joke and then he's gone. I like the thing this explains why you won't see Otto for a little while. He's in Mexico. In Mexico. Did he kill children? I mean, it was an empty no one's in school and

it was an empty pod that flew off the thing. And later it's burning in the background while Skinner talks. I did love this. This is the impetus for the episode. Not the impetus. The catalyst for the episode that Lisa gets a caricature drawn of her.

Again, I just wanted to capture it because I love Hank Azaria's blue-collar Chuck Bronson voice. You can turn around now. Oh my god, I'm ugly. That is essentially the same reaction I have to any photograph taken of me now. I love the idea of a hack caricaturist. This is actually, the caricature of Lisa is drawn by the writer of the episode, Jeff Martin. Really? Who worked as a caricaturist as a teenager in Detroit.

Some kind of Detroit amusement park that is an actual gateway to being an animator well he's a writer so I guess it never paid off but if you want to become a Simpsons writer start with caricature and you'll find your way there

funnel a bunch of people into the wrong career path take our advice I just love it everybody loves Roller Skates and if you want to be a game designer please cook a great spaghetti

gotta start there it's all in the sauce so meanwhile Homer has dreams of blimps If you want to be a game designer, please cook a great spaghetti. You've got to start there. It's all in the sauce. So, meanwhile, Homer has dreams of blimps. I love his dream of the blimp. Like, the animation of the thing of everybody turning over is beautiful. So good. And also, Ned winning at shoe buffers is pretty great, too. I wanted that.

Yeah, what? Yeah, what? But his blimp dreams, I love the presentation of this. The cutaway nature of the whole thing, and just that this seems like a Simpsons joke that should have happened four years from now. Oh, yeah. That delivers only on your expectations

of where the joke is going to go. Now in a moment, we'll be raffling off our grand prize. A ride on the famous Duff Beer blimp. A ride on the Duff blimp. You see the circular pattern on those fields? That's from central pivot irrigation. Wow. Now let's see what's happening at the Super Bowl.

Homer! Homer! A lot of Homer's fantasies involve football and the Super Bowl, I've noticed. I'm going to say this right off the bat, and I'll have another example later on. This is the most Family Guy McFarlane feeling episode we have seen so far. Season four is very, very much what Family Guy would kind of borrow from for their cutaways. They use thought bubbles,

but it is mostly cutaways, daydreams, and fantasies. I mean, this then goes, this style goes so hard then into the critics. Exactly, yeah. Because they take a lot of the animators and team from this season, move them to the critic, then that gets even more Family Guy-y. then that is what becomes the family guy like it's what the family guy becomes in 99 so i never thought never thought about how much family guy

is like the critic and it's pop culture references yeah i mean the critic is where they just were like they broke down all the walls just like every moment is a movie reference there needs to be no reason for this to happen. He could just be in a movie at any time. It was funny that on The Critic it first started with, he's watching a movie. That'll let us do a movie reference to then do, he's going to turn the corner and run into Marlon Brando.

And there's a giant Ed Koch attacking New York in real life. That's just going to happen because we want him to do it. That show was great. Talking Critic next year. But Homer wins it. Homer wins it. Homer wins it. Homer wins it. But more importantly,

Lisa assumes she's ugly and I love Homer. I still use this on my girlfriend. This line on my girlfriend all the time. Hey there, flimpy boy. Flying through the sky so fancy free. Honey, what's wrong? Dad, do you think I'm ugly?

What are you talking about? Oh, Lisa, this isn't real. It's just how you might look if you were a cartoon character. I'm an ugmo. Now, that's not true. You're cute as a bug's ear. Fathers have to say that and stuff. Dad, am I cute as a bug's ear?

No, you're homely as a mule's butt. Not a great joke. Punch there. I fucking love that. I like, well, then Homer says, see? Like, Homer's saying, like, see? Fathers can be cruel. I'm not.

But cute as a bug's ear is a great saying. Yeah, I love saying that. Just seeing Homer as such a dick in the previous two episodes, like, that's a good dad. Good dad moment for Homer. He's trying. So most 10-year-olds would not have gotten that Blimpy Boy reference, but I did because I was a big listener of oldie stations back then. It is The Seekers' Georgie Girl is the song.

Hey there, Georgie girl. Is the girl's name Georgie? Yeah, it's Georgie girl. Georgie LaForge? It's a woman. So the song is about her. Georgie girl is not like picking a boy, or she's not been in a relationship. She's just flying through the sky.

She needs to settle down. And so that's the message of Georgie. It's weird to write a romantic song about a girl named Georgie in 2016. It feels like a song about Opal or Crystal or something. I don't know. Yeah, you're right. It's a very dated name. Gertrude.

Or it would be if it was about like mabel yeah though i mabel from gravity falls one of my favorite cartoon characters r.i.p um but that she'll be back it drives uh homer to try and think of like the homer's drive here is to help his daughter good old simpsons giving him uh the tv gives him his inspiration on x which i most have My line of the show is in this TV clip. I've used this so often in my life. Him throwing the child in the air only to have it disappear. Such a good understated animation joke. It's a great joke. All of this is a long clip.

I love it. Whee! Whee! I guess every father thinks his daughter is the cutest. Well, now there's a way to prove it. Wow, president of Laramie Cigarettes, Jack Larson. This year, Laramie is sponsoring the Little Miss Springfield pageant. You see, government regulations prohibit us from advertising on TV.

Ah, that sweet Carolina smoke. But they can't prohibit us from holding a beauty pageant for little girls age 7 to 9. Lisa's age 7 to 9? Your daughter could be crowned Little Miss Springfield by our host, the maitre d' of glee, Krusty the Clown. I heartily endorse this event or product. What a feeling. I'm as happy as a smoker taking that first puff in the morning.

That could be Lisa. The Little Miss Springfield pageant. Only $250 to enter. So, yeah, I mean, I cover video games for a living, and whenever there's a bored celebrity at E3 shoved onto a stage to talk about something for 30 seconds, I always post that image of Crossy saying, I hardly endorse this event or product.

It's perfect. It's a perfect way to sum up a paid endorsement that nobody cares about and that they can't put the energy into or to pretend. Like, I've seen I've seen, like, at a Sony CES thing, which are boring as hell, but when they brought up

Will Smith to talk about the cameras used on Men in Black 3, he, I think, brought some energy to it, at least. But meanwhile, there are guys that are just like, I am Pele. I am here. Yeah, I mean, the greatest example of this, it's on YouTube. Look up the unveiling of the Beatles rock band.

Oh, I knew you were going to mention Paul McCartney. Okay, I love this so much. I wrote an entire article about this. Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr come out. Paul McCartney is chewing gum with an open mouth. And he's just like, looks like we're androids. And it's like they're out there for 15 seconds. And they're like, thank you very much. And then they go back and they're gone. And they were probably paid like hundreds of androids. And it's like they're out there for 15 seconds and they're like, thank you very much.

And then they go back and they're gone and they were probably paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to give a shit when they clearly did not give a shit. But it was still a thrill. Like when he was on the MTV Music Awards when he announced the video or song of the year as Lawrence Hill. Oh, God.

Like just didn't give a shit. My problem was like like spit out your fucking gum dude for like 30 seconds we'll get you a new piece of gum after the show maybe you don't understand yeah sir paul mccartney i mean the experiments i know it's different than winter green the other guy said i hung it on me wall i know it was a thrill for the people just in the audience to be like i'm in the same i'm breathing the same air as the only two beatles left a famous guy who hates me is right there. You'd think so, but I honestly can't remember if I was there or not.

Of course, I watched it with you in the office. Okay. I know you were not. Why wasn't I there? But heartily endorse. Oh, God. That comes from an Art Linklater endorsement for the Game of Life or something. Was Art Linklater a game show host?

I think he was this is a personal connection to me I just you know I'm a little kid getting woke to certain things and I remember reading in a magazine that like cigarette advertisements are banned from television like well really that's news to me because there's

at this time in 1992 there's not only cigarette billboards everywhere like the back of Rolling Stone is like all cigarette ads. And like, and it just made me realize in local entertainment, they were real beacons for cigarettes to advertise with. They would be the sponsors of springtime Tallahassee's parade. They'd be sponsors at the,

uh, the, the baseball games are just giant cigarette billboards. So like all their advertising had been limited. Some, this is a very, I don't know, to me, a very smart joke from someone on The Simpsons. Well, Laramie is a company from North

Dakota, right? Like that North Dakota flavor. North Carolina. North Carolina, right. Sorry, North Dakota. Nothing's happening there. Not even street passes, right, Henry? No, I can't get one. I'm a little kid. I'm not paying attention. Yeah, cigarette advertising had been highly regulated, and they were weaseling their way into everything they could.

Yeah. Legally. The writers say they can take down cigarettes because they can't advertise on Fox, so it's an easy target. As they say, as Mike Reese jokes in that commentary and other ones, he's like, God help you if you make fun of beer. Oh, boy. I think they got in trouble with that may cause rectal cancer, and Homer's like, Mmm, beer.

Hey, don't tell me that. But Homer, I like the little dramatic bit of Homer having to choose between the ticket and Lisa's picture in his wallet. That's really cute. And the downward spiral of Barney has come so far already that he's a human science project. The act one ends with wires sticking out of his head him turning around to reveal wires and like a shaved head and i gotta give it to lisa that she points out the flaw in the ugly duckling myth which is like to say like you you are ugly now you'll but hey when you grow up you'll be pretty no that's a bullshit promise to give to kids you're

ugly in in the wrong context yeah You're being judged by stupid criteria. I do love Mar trying to back out of that story. It's like, you're not the ugly ducking, you're one of the mean ducks making fun of the other duck. Homer walks in and announces he's found a way to pick up Lisa's self-esteem by entering into the Springfield beauty pageant. If you could have

one wish, what would it be? To shut myself off from the world and never be seen by human eyes again. Was your second wish to be entered in the Little Miss Springfield pageant? What are you talking about? I sent in an application for you. I couldn't find a big enough photo, so I sent in that funny drawing of

you on roller skate. How could you? I won't do it! Aw, poor Lise. I also liked, as an animation nerd, I really loved Bart acting out Tex Avery animation. That is so great. Banging his shoe on his head. And just the meta-ness of they are drawing a more human-like character acting out cartoonish movements.

Yeah, it's great. It's great. Homer, Lisa's already sensitive about her looks. This is the last thing she needs. But I think she'll win. Dad, have you seen the girls they have in those contests? Hubba hubba. Hey, nobody's prettier than my little girl.

You're looking at her through a father's eyes. Well, if I could gouge out somebody else's eyes and shove them into my sockets, I would. But to me, she's beautiful. That is so sweet. That is my line of the show. I'm feeling kind of sweet. I have another one that I'll put in there. That is sweet, but hardly endorse this event or product as much.

Also, yet another, more proof. Bart is gay. If you have ever been attracted as a male to someone in a beauty contest you're gay. He poses like Betty Grable in high heels. What more do you want? I mean Bart's mega gay in this one. We'll get to that but the sad blimpy boy was pretty

great too. No one's going to force you to do anything. But do you know how your father got the money to enter you in this pageant? Nope. He sold his ride on the Duff Blimp. But that ride meant everything to him. Hey there, blimpy boy. Flying through the sky so fancy for me.

I'll do it. Damn. He's playing with a pickle. He's so sad. So sad Singing blimpy boy I have this small clip of Amber Dempsey Is that a parody of anybody in particular? This is pre It's way before

JonBenet Ramsey I don't think was even alive Not murdered Just like now I don't mean murdered I mean she wasn't born yet. Was there some hideous show that Honey Boo Boo was spun off of like pageant children? Yeah. Toddlers and Tiaras. That's exactly what I'm thinking of. And Mr. Show made a great sketch

about that years earlier. I think Mr. Show was the first show to really zero in on the insidiousness of this. Am I a pioneer? The evil behind this. I mean it is like they are pure evil. They're disgusting. Parents forcing children into things. Yes. The people taking advantage of these poor behind this yeah it is like they are pure evil like they're disgusting like parents forcing children into things yes uh the people taking advantage of these poor idiots who are forcing their children into things you can make a lot of jokes about like pushing kids into sports to

like recapture the magic of your childhood the the untouched glory of your childhood but the beauty pageants are awful yeah there's no that's why they're like school age when they're in sports. Yeah. They're not preschoolers. That scene in Jackass Bad Grandpa is like, everybody there deserves this. Yeah. Everybody there deserves this.

This episode feels fairly innocent because the parents are really not a factor. Like, the children seem to be there of their own volition and they seem to enjoy it. It feels like it's just like, kind of like a Rugrats-y thing.

The closest thing to it is when you see, you didn't see Amber Dempsey's mom looks exactly like her. Oh, yeah, that's right. Definitely implying she is a very controlling stage mom. I love Amber Dempsey. And also, I mean, the other girl contestants are super catty.

Very, surprisingly worldly. It feels like the joke is adults acting like kids, though. These are like models, essentially. I'm a big animation fan outside of The Simpsons and the simpsons does doesn't do a lot of stuff animation does and one of these is like one of the only times this is a sound effect i've never heard in the simpsons again dempsey's eyelashes amber dempsey in the same week she was pork princess and little miss kosher she's beautiful, she's about to bring out the big guns. Eyelash implants.

I thought those were illegal. Not in Paraguay. I think it's literally a camera shutter, isn't it? I don't know what it is. I think you're right. I don't know what it is. I mean, obviously it's a parody of breast implants or whatever. Having work done, but on a child level

but it's it's just not a thing or a sound or an animation technique that'll ever be used in modern simpsons anymore i wish they would have i wish they would have revisited marge's crush on jack nicholas yeah that was so fucking funny jesus christ like yeah trying to trying to fetishize the ass of a simpsons character is impossible. I love the way she's circling her wine glass. It's making noise. I mean, we saw Marge get drunk in, God, season one episode. What was it called? No Place Like Home. No Disgrace Like Home.

No Disgrace Like Home. But I think this is her first Marge getting a little tipsy on wine, her flirtation with wine. I didn't think about that. They had to give her wine for her to have any interest in anything. Yeah. The Simpsons will be right back. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops.

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Does anyone else get these American Express Tina Fey ads everywhere? Yeah. Where she's like putting shit on and buying shit. She's like at the workout store. Yeah. And there's like putting shit on and buying shit. She's like at the workout store. Yeah. And there's like uncredited Thomas Middleditch from like, that's the star of Silicon Valley playing the cashier of like. Oh, it's no.

Yeah, yeah. It's like, he's the star of a currently airing show. But now they're showing up in my Twitter feed. I think because I said the word, I like Tina Fey. And now it knows. I don't know. Also, you said, I love American Express. Shit.

It's my favorite kind of credit card. It's my least favorite. Nobody takes it. I express my American love for Tina Faye. Nobody takes American Express. It doesn't matter. You can watch her get less into these ads as the weeks go by because there was one. Just whoever's editing them is missing that very, very important half second before the

video really takes where her face is just dead. No expression at all. And then, oh, here we are with American with american express they're live or something yeah and then that week goes by and then the next week was her with a dog and there's a split second of her just holding the dog with no expression at all like can we hurry oh look i'm petting the dog but the look on her face is so sarcastic and then the one this week is her trying to eat a giant novelty sized heart on an airplane which already I

don't like what's the combination of shit going on and the look on her face where she's trying to like mime like oh it's too big it's like you want to kill yourself I can tell you're so over but you

signed some like obscene contract get bonus time laser times weekly full length uncensored and ad free patreon exclusive podcast as well as weekly full-length, uncensored, and ad-free Patreon-exclusive podcast, as well as weekly full-length movie commentaries, wrestling and cartoon video commentaries, physical rewards, the first season of Talking Simpson, and more at patreon.com slash lasertime,

starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live, and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. Meanwhile, Bart's knowledge of... Oh, you've got all this? I do. This afternoon, I'll take you to the beauty parlor and show you just how lovely you can be. And later, I'll teach you the tricks of the trade. Taping your swimsuit to your butt, petroleum

jelly on your teeth for that frictionless smile, and the ancient art of padding. You know what? That's gay. Bart, I think they gayed up Bart a little bit. I'm not judging this at all, but I feel like Bart vamps a lot in these episodes. Like, when he puts on, like, the Cockney accent, he does, like, little bits for people, and he knows a lot about

pageants, and he enjoys watching the beauty pageant in Streetcar Named Marge I think they're like kind of making a joke about masculinity. They comment down in later it's not even through this whole season but in these episodes they definitely are I think the writers are having an interest in like what if we imply like

early sexuality on Bart. I don't know if that's it so like I called this earlier not a Family Guy-esque episode, McFarlane-esque because what Bart reminds me of right here, I'm watching,

I usually watch Soul Swim. Steve on American Dad? Roger on American Dad. Oh, Roger. They're both gay to a degree. Well, they wrote something about him that Roger is the alien.

And American Dad, I think, is a great show. I like American Dad. Is that Roger is, what is Roger's personality? Whatever we need show is that roger is what is roger's personality whatever we need him to be that is what he is now he's not an alien he's just anything we need for the pop culture obsessed number one yeah but like into his personality if you need a golf instructor or like in like yeah he's also like bart in the scene sexually ambiguous or kind of skewing to gay but he's more like he's whatever the scene needs.

And like, I don't know, I just really... Bart is so Roger in this episode. He knows everything all of a sudden out of nowhere about beauty pages. There is no reason Bart should know this stuff at all. It is more... You're right in that it's a story functional thing to give him these kind of like stereotypically gay character types. But though, speaking of somebody who uh stereotypically gay character carry character types but uh though speaking of somebody who's stereotypically gay but not actually you the guy in the jughead t-shirt

that's not game i wait yeah it is actually no jughead's asexual he's he's officially ace in the but no uh the bob bossy character goes by really fast turn pause kick pause kick pause turn shudder was that a character Dan Castellano played on Tracy Ullman it feels like it yes yeah but it's a very specific to Bob Fosse Bob Fosse famous film director stage director and choreographer

but he also like while people think he's gay he was actually famously a horrible womanizer. Wow. He was never... In your opinion, is there any other kind? Because I really would like to go back to being a poonhound. A good womanizer. Now, I suppose he was just, let's just say womanizer then.

But also, he directed, you know, Watch Cabaret. He directed that movie. That's an amazing movie. I will not. It's got hot Liza Minnelli, Chris. Yeah, she's got some hot stuff in it. But also that the film is about the rise of the Nazi party in Germany. You didn't know?

No. You might find it interesting these days. I don't watch any movie with a silent consonant. It just won't happen. Also, Chris, would you like knowing that all the music in it is diegetic? Diegetic? Meaning nobody breaks out into song. The songs are what really happen.

The songs are happening in the camera, I think. Diegetic is a dumb term. It's in the reality of the movie. Yes, instead of in the editing bed. It's a really good movie. It won Oscars for good reason. But I also love this talk about compliments. Boy, when Lisa comes in, I want you to make a big fuss over how she looks.

She'll see through me like Grandma's underpants. No, she won't. When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, blood-sucking monsters always wanting more. More! More! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty back in return. Like what? I'll tell you when you're older. That goes into yet another cutaway, but a

great one. This is like the third joke of this type where we think Homer's talking about sex, but he's actually talking about food or being lazy. Marge mowing the lawn for him. It's an impressive runner that they kept it going for this long, though obviously that's not how women are guys they aren't no i most any compliment go like you i can't receive a compliment not for me like

well they weren't the opposite on me actually someone compliments me i'm like well you have to understand the only reason i did good that time just because let me tell you why i suck let me tell you why i usually suck thanks for complimenting me, liar. Meanwhile, if somebody insults me, I'm like, oh, okay, they must be right. I don't disrespect anybody for complimenting me. It no longer makes you stupid for liking me. Jesus, that's self-loathing. Wait, my line of the show. You're sure a lot of stuff.

Oh, wait, it could be coming up in this clip, actually. Just having a sister and being around Bart's age at this time, this is yet another something I would call Light of the Show! That's the joke. Bart working with Lisa and having to break down and make a minor revelation. Those other girls are prettier than me. Lisa, as your brother,

this is the hardest thing I've ever had to say. You're not ugly. Oh, Bart! It's the nicest thing Bart said. Yeah, but that would have been a really sweet thing for me to say to my sister, who I thought because of sitcoms and cartoons and The Simpsons, that I had to have an adversary

relationship. She's younger and I was jealous and she took all the attention. A roundabout compliment is the best thing you can give your sister. There was a great capper to the scene with the compliments, though. It's like, Dad, do you know anything else about women? He's like, nope, that's it. Nope, that's it. You guys obviously could identify with this more because I did not have a sister.

I only had a brother. So, yeah. I did not have the telling. You have a younger sibling, you become immediately adversarial and jealous of them. Oh, absolutely. I mean, the second they show up,

you're like, oh, I'm not getting as much attention. And stupid babies need the most attention. I had an older sister who was very mean to me. So, I didn't know that at all. I'm still sometimes ruthlessly mean to my sister as we approach our 40s. It makes no sense. So the Little Miss Springfield pageant. Oh, God.

The song there, the Gasping for Air song, is an underrated gem of a song. How did I roll? Making it work. Gasping for air. How did it roll? I've been refraining from pointing it out until now, but part of the Simpsons music, I go off on the chase music, the fight music of the Simpsons. It's all evocative of 1970s entertainment

that I wasn't familiar with at all in any way, but that's why I find it so funny and distinctive, I think, that this is all like 60s and 70s music. That's what The Simpsons is doing. It feels like a 70s variety show

or something. You can literally hear Waka Chika in the background. You're right. It feels like a Sonny and Cher show. Yeah, but that's the thing. We're right out of the 80s.

This is not an 80s parody. It's a 70s parody. I mean, Lisa's bit is pretty much like an Osmond show. Yeah. And i can't recognize that as even now but definitely not back then but to me it's distinctive of what makes the show so funny it's it's it's like kind of mercilessly mocking the 70s yeah it's intentionally dated yeah well and then crusty shows up late thinks he's at a republican benefit which is great great. We see Miss Pennycandy.

No actual lines, though. Yeah, Miss Pennycandy has no lines, but she's back. I feel like they really dropped the ball with Miss Pennycandy. I like that dynamic. She should have been something, yeah. But I think the writers just were not interested in her as a joke delivery system, and so she fell away. I didn't know what the song MacArthur Park was until after this episode.

I didn't even realize that's the this is the first time i heard macarthur park because me too i was a big weird al fan that jurassic park album dropped i'm like i like the song i have no idea what it is yeah i didn't actually listen to the jurassic park song jurassic park is frightening in the dark all the dinosaurs are running wild someone let t-Rex out of his pen. And they say that he might hire me. He should all act like Barney. Oh, Barney references.

I love it. It's so 1994. Yeah. But so this, yeah, MacArthur Park. My mom laughed at it. And she had to, again, explain to me what MacArthur Park was. Because for her generation, MacArthur Park is famously a long, boring song that people do not like.

Okay, good. Because it's really dumb. Well, it became like a... Someone left the cake out in the rain. That's a line. I'll never have that recipe again. It was definitely a song people didn't want to hear at that point, and especially not slower and only on the bongos.

By Apu's niece or something. Yeah, it was kind of like if you were to say in 2002, let's hear the Macarena. On a sitar. Yeah, exactly. Oh, my God. But Lisa's talent comes up. Yet another callback to like the late 60s, 70s.

Some people say that to love your country is old-fashioned, uncool, real Melvin. Well, to them I say, Oh, beautiful for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain. One, two, three, four. That's a good job in the city. Working for the man every night and day.

This sequence is so well animated. Wonderfully Tina Turner. The fame dance or whatever The fame dance, I think it's Tina Turner Covered the previous Clearwater song Most famously I mean, she's doing Tina Turner's version of that song And then when she's doing it, she's doing the fame dance Yeah, after that

And then meanwhile Homer's eating petroleum jelly And I actually have an aversion to petroleum jelly Because when I was a little kid i licked my lips too much oh you had to get the smear on there so my parents would do as a way to like not get you to lip your lips is to put the jelly on your mouth so you won't touch it it's just like that's some pretty disgusting yeah i meant to look it up earlier but like real melvin like what the fuck does melvin i've I've heard like, don't be a Melvin. I don't know what that's from.

Well, Melvin is clearly defined in the South Park episode about two guys jerking off in a hot tub. It was the Butters. It was the first true Butters episode. That's right. It was like the multiple like connected, interconnected stories episode. But in that one, it's, you know, stan is stuck hanging out with melvins yeah defined by butters and his other friends who are just like well meaning dweebs who kind of are dumb and unpopular yeah like butters is a total melvin so when you think of a melvin just think of butters melvins but i guess that's where their name comes from as

well exactly that's what i think and then uh then comes the reference that uh offhanded reference to vanessa williams in 1984 but that is that what that was too yeah i can't that was the first time anyone had ever had to give up the she did have to give it up yes because uh so all right quick version of the the story. Vanessa Williams, who now we all know is just, you know, a famous person, pop star, all that stuff. Did she talk show host? Dancing with the Stars? In 1983, she won the Miss America contest. But it would turn out that before she became a famous beauty queen, she posed for some news photographs for money.

I believe she posed for news photographs. I don't remember if it was paid or not, but somebody had those, offered first to sell them to Playboy. Hugh Hefner turned it down. Penthouse. And then Penthouse and Rob Guccione took it up and got a ton of

money for it and it humiliated her. But stripped her of her crown and so it was a very negative thing she it everybody attacked her for it even though like this was a thing on her and so what could have turned into a protracted battle between her and the Miss America

pageant she said I relinquish my crown which she was probably asked to do and this was in 84 she gives it up it was in july 84 she gives it up you know that really but she got to keep all the bunnies she won and it makes the ending make a lot more sense yeah i'm proud to announce uh via google image search these these nude pics are just one search away yeah they're on my phone currently take that bob gucci first i'll have'll have to do Vanessa Williams. Remember what she looks like. But I do...

It's worth it. That shows you how different things are now and then. And, like, in 84... It's a puritanical horseshit. Yeah, it is a puritanical horseshit. Like, oh, no, this model posed for a nude photo. How dare she? This person was rewarding based on their looks alone.

But you got rewarded too much for your looks and you're what and like it was also her race then came into it too and it was just it's just like a black woman opposed for nude pictures that check out that's called check out meanwhile now i feel like every act every famous woman is just like one hack away from unfortunately having like nudes leaked we We've just seen it. Yeah. But then also most famous people, like people are naked and then they get famous.

Now, like Kim Kardashian was famous first for, uh, the sex tape. And then, yeah. And so I, I don't know.

Paris Hilton became famous for giving the worst blow job I've ever seen. Like no rhythm to it whatsoever. No passion. She was only 21, Chris. She had time to learn. If you were to make that video now, I bet she'd be better. But then again, what does she you think she's even given a

anyway. Talking blowjobs. What I specifically don't want to do, though, is make it sound like, oh, these women are just famous for having sex. Like, they should get as much fame as they can out of that shit. Be as famous as possible. People are willing to pay to see their body. Go for it.

I'm real proud. I think Kim Kardashian is a really impressive businesswoman. She's done a lot with what so many other people just squander. She's become a... She's one of the most powerful video game creators around. She's literally a dynasty. It's's a video, she's one of the most powerful video game creators around.

She's literally a dynasty. It's all that OJ murder money. Anyway, so that is what click, click means. Yeah, holy shit. Don't say it'll never happen. And it was a good way of getting around a plot device. So they do have to explain plot- why lisa will become yeah it and you know as a viewer i definitely thought with them saying that lisa will inherit the crown i know she's going to yeah but do you think it's a little weird that even at this point in the series lisa would buy into this and like

get into it and want to win she should have been against this from the beginning i think so yeah but but also she from the beginning she's also doing it as a favor to her father yeah i guess that that is the way that they excuse it. So, yeah, I'm okay with that. But, of course, does Lisa win? Krusty will tell us. The runner-up is... I love Krusty.

Lisa Simpson, which means Amber Dempsey is the new Little Miss Springfield! That's still a better reading than Steve Harvey. You don't announce the runner-up. I don't know if you have the Little Miss Springfield song. Dude, no! But there is a lyric for every letter in Little Miss Springfield. T is for her tooth-filled mouth. T is for her tooth-filled mouth.

I want the full version of that song. Me too. I hope it exists. It's got to be like eight minutes long. A family guy would have done the whole joke. Yeah. And Dan Castellaneta is singing his heart out on that song. Yeah.

It's crusty. We'll get to more Dan because, again, I keep over-highlighting Barney in this, but this is a great scene with Kent Brockman and Barney. And another scathing takedown of local news, but also a good Barney movie. I have a reference I never got before. From this? Yeah. Please play it.

Scott, everyone is here. From the mayor's illegitimate son to our own Duff Limp. Hi, can I drive? Well, I can't see the arm. Oh, the humanity! Anyway, to turn on the store's severe tire damage spikes, here's little Miss Springfield. Every line of that is perfect. We have the Hindenburg thing, which I did get.

We all got that. She's opening a store called shop a danish danish super chain which is a parody of ikea even back then it was an ikea parody i had no freaking clue yeah i had no idea either i didn't see an ikea until i moved here i didn't see an ikea until like 2009 my hometown still doesn't have there weren't ikeas on the east coast like that well not in florida hear about it until literally fight club but later, the Simpsons do go to shop again, S-H-whatever-O-P, and it's colored like Ikea. Simple for Boron. Yeah, it's like the blue and yellow Ikea colors.

In this thing, it's just like a draped over sign that says shop on it. I mean, I do love Ikea. Like, it is a bunch of shit. I guess. It's like the fast food of furniture, though. Exactly. Was Ikea proliferating a lot in the early 90s? I tried to look it up.

I couldn't find anything. I bet in L.A. it was. I mean, what we're seeing, stuff that happens in Springfield often reflects what is happening in L.A. when they wrote the episode. Like a poo, you know. Like a poo, like people battering rams, breaking into libraries. I love how important the episode makes the role of Little Miss Springfield where you're literally cutting ribbons on stuff. I feel like there's a bunch of parodies in here

that I'm missing. Well, there's a big cruel parody. So after she gets electrocuted... Oh, I got that one. Oh, dear. It would be a shame if that pretty dress got wet. I'd say the greater danger is her scepter acting as a lightning rod. Unless it's made out of plastic.

Nope. Metal. Ladies and gentlemen, Little Miss Springfield has been struck by lightning. That's the implication of an eight-year-old girl being struck by lightning. Live on television. The lighting effect of the Simpsons as they're watching on television is gorgeous. So, when they are

swearing in Lisa as the new Little Miss Greenfield, it is very specifically Lyndon Bain Johnson being sworn in after JFK's death. Marge is in the pillbox hat next to him. Oh my God. Just as Jacqueline Kennedy is in mourning standing next to him. Homer is in a very specific suit to be that guy as well. Like it's all exactly that photograph. You may know the Jackie Kennedy costume

as Dr. Girlfriend. Yeah. Dr. Girlfriend. Dr. Girlfriend. And I do want to say like after this, I tried as best as I could as a kid to find severe tire damage spikes. I didn't until like 15 years later.

Like they just were not in my town. I'm like, are these real? These are real things? I think it's when like parking becomes like a huge commodity. Yeah, no one were not in my town. I'm like, are these real? These are real things? I think it's when parking becomes a huge commodity. No one wanted to visit my town. There's no parking problems in my hometown. That could be an LA thing again.

And here, when I moved here, I was like, oh, parking is actually really hard. It sucks. You can't just back into a space anytime you feel like it. But you'll always have severe tire damage. The live, they might be giant. Also, here you go, just kidding. Another one of those.

The Simpsons writers really like that. That was in Bart the Lover with the yo-yo. Yep. Yeah, the exact same line. Here you go, just kidding. Henry, I'm glad you came to the table for that. I had a feeling it was a reference to something specific. It's framed too deliberately.

Yes. But this I don't understand at all. Lisa is now the beauty queen. And this is, thank God, Ralph in the right voice responding to her. Hi, fellas. Love that chewing gum walk. Very wriggly. What the fuck does that mean?

Wriggly chewing gum. Is that a reference to the commercials? The Double Mint Twins? No, I mean, it's just, when he says it's a chewing gum walk, which is like, I don't know, did it pop? I think it's a reference to,, which is like, I don't know, did it pop? I think it's a reference to, there is the Doublemint Gums of the Twins. I mean, there's a Spaceball reference. The Doublemint Twins are characters in Spaceballs.

If you don't remember the Immortal Spaceballs joke. Well, if you don't remember that brand of gum, it just, you know what bums me out? I think they're saying her butt is Wrigley. Wrigley's the gum company. Wrigley's a gum company, but one that pumps me out that I love nothing more than watching Double Mint and Big Red Juicy Fruit commercials.

Those gums barely exist. And also, sticks of gum don't even really exist. The taste is gonna move ya. But those commercials were everywhere if you grew up in the 80s,

early 90s. But remember, they're all owned by Wrigley's who owns Double Mint, Big Red, Juicy Fruit, but also a kind of gum called Wrig, they're all owned by Wrigley's, who owns Doublemint, Big Red, Juicy Fruit, but also a kind of gum called Wrigley's. And there were Wrigley's commercials. It was just like frost

flavored mint. I think it's just Wrigley as a description of something moving. I think it's a Doublemint Twins reference. I'm guessing it's a reference to a commercial. Prove me wrong, listeners. Because all those commercials had consistently the exact same commercial over and over. Juicy move you here's some twins uh big red did something i think it beat the other gum but that will let you kiss your lover yes a little longer

but that was the death that was the last gasp of clever ralph you will never hear him say oh is that what you're saying yeah smart ralph is. So, uh, both Ralph and Wiggum lose all of their brains in this episode, I think. Yeah. Uh, the deportation stuff. As little Miss Springfield, it's my pleasure

to welcome you to America, the land of opportunity. Actually, they're being deported. I very quickly, like, right when the scene started, like, America welcoming immigrants?

Like, deportation force is not so far. That never happened. Wait until we get to Muchapoo about nothing. It's never changed. I very quickly, like, right when the scene started, like, America welcoming immigrants? Deportation force is not so far now. That never happened. Wait until we get to Muchapoo about nothing. It's never changed. Bob Hope. Yes. We got a jingle.

Death stalks you at every turn. There it is. Death. That's our death jingle, which we don't, we haven't played in a while. There hasn't been a lot of guest stars lately. Yeah. Not a lot of dead guests. Dead guest stars.

Trying to write up that article about Oprah appearing on The Simpsons. In 1992 there is nobody bigger in the universe than The Simpsons. The ones who arguably were appeared on The Simpsons. Johnny Carson, Elizabeth Taylor,

Michael Jackson, and arguably this time the most famous entertainer ever, also did, Bab Hope. Hello, this is Bob. What the hell am I doing in Springfield, Hope? Hey, how about that Mayor Quimby? He's some golfer. His golf ball spends more time underwater than Greg Louganis.

And now I want to show you what you're fighting for, if there was a war on. Little Miss Springfield. Oh, the 90s. God. That really sums it up pretty well. Like, yep, no wars. Remember the 90s when perpetual war wasn't happening?

What about Kosovo? This sent me down a rabbit hole on YouTube where I was watching Bob Hope USO Vietnam shows. Where it's just decrepit old man, even in the 60s, standing next to the most gorgeous women ever put on God's green earth. It's like, how did this even happen? It makes him such a fascinating figure. He kind of dropped movie stardom to focus on being a USO person. Yeah. Someone to entertain troops.

I imagine there was money in it. I don't want to say it was all valiant, but he did like it and never stopped. Lots of adultery, too. Yeah, probably. With Joey Hetherton. Yeah. Bob Hope lived to be 100,, lots of adultery, too. Yeah, probably. With Joey Hetherton. Yeah, I mean. Bob Hope lived to be 100, didn't die for another 10 years. Yeah.

That's what I was shocked about when I looked this up, because for some reason in my head, I was like, oh, and he died in like 95 or something, right? But actually, when Chris and I saw Dana Gould, he had a pretty savage story of working on a Bob Hope young comedian special. That's on one of his albums, actually. It is. Yeah. It's great, though.

You should talk about it. He says he held Bob Hope's arm and it felt like a sock full of pennies. A sock full of light bulbs. A light bulb. Yes, I did used to be your khaki. So for this episode, Jeff Martin and Conan O'Brien together went to record with Bob Hope. Wow. And they said he was mostly blind, almost deaf, barely knew where he was, but he was actually very good at recording.

Sounds really good. Yeah, and so you showed me that clip. So I love the Gilbert Gottfried podcast because you learn a lot about old Hollywood, and I love his voice. But he talks a lot about Bob Hope and how he was a horrible womanizer, cheated on his wife a ton. So towards the end of his life, he could barely hear, could barely see, could barely entertain. So he had an earpiece in his ear. So he reduced his amount of network specials to three a year. Exactly.

And his wife would feed him lines. But towards the end of his career, his wife would put him in all of these super humiliating roles just to torture him in his last years because she hated him for cheating on him, cheating on her. So there's a clip, if you look up Bob Hope, Jack Frost, it's one of his final performances, him dressed up like Jack Frost, doing a musical number, sitting during most of it,

and you can see the contempt in his wife's eyes, like, yes, look at you, you fucking asshole. You're dressed up. Now these children will walk you around. All leading into an Apocalypse Now reference? Apocalypse Now, which one is that? No, I mean, yes, there is a USO show in Apocalypse Now. Oh, yeah.

Bob Hope isn't at it. But it's a Bob Hope type, and the soldiers go nuts and rush the stage. Well, they rush because there's Playboy Playmates on there, and then they have to. I think that's the joke. I believe so. Because there wasn't a Playmate, so they rushed the stage anyway, and they both had to leave via helicopter. And it's Bob Hope, like, drop me off at that boat show. I don't blame the soldiers in the audience.

I'm watching those USO shows. I'm like, this is a very rapey audience. Like a hot woman comes out and wiggles her butt. They're like, yeah! What would you expect for guys who can only jerk off with all their friends watching? My concern was like, is this woman safe? What would happen if they all just rushed the stage? She'd be torn apart.

It was raw meat. Be happy for celebrating the warfare. They all made it out alive and unscathed. Well, hey, here's the good news. You're going to have now Jeff Roffs going off to entertain the drones? Yeah. Okay, here's some good news. This episode predicts how cigarette sales are going now.

They say that they're trying to advertise Laramie's to kids because their old audience is dying, and that is what happened. We grew up in an anti-cigarette ad age, and now our generation is smoking a lot less than the last generation. But the late 90s was the real bite to smoking. I was an avid smoker for a decade,

and I now vape and people make, literally make fun of me on the streets because that's a fun thing to do but I'm just trying to cope with addiction. Well,

you are blowing out pink clouds around you. Not pink clouds. It's not fucking a colorized redness. It's a robot penis. You put a robot penis to your mouth

and it's a sonic screwdriver. But here's, here's the Laramie pitch to Lisa. You see Lisa, it's been an unlucky year for Laramie. A lot of the people who smoke our product have been, well, dying. And we need young smokers to take their place.

I don't want to be a spokesperson for a cigarette company. But you're a role model to young people. And we're thinking of retiring Menthol Moose. Menthol Moose. My greatest unsung Simpsons character. Yes, I think he died after this. That's not a mask. No, no.

You can see a real mouth on that thing. But Joe Camel was still around. Yeah. That's how old this episode is. Late 90s? Yeah, big old dick face. So there's one joke we missed that I want to point out because there's precedent set here. So Lisa's popular now.

She's Little Miss Springfield they're taking her around and she's now part of the wax museum they put her head on Dr. Ruth's body and like they cut to the pit of horrors and it's her head Mr. T and Ronald Reagan on pikes now the show Game of Thrones got in huge trouble because some jokester prop guy

put George W. Bush's head on a pike they had to recall DVDs because of this it was a huge fucking deal but there was president set like no that's a president's head on a pike go to hell like we can do this you know i didn't even think of it in that context of like reagan's head on a spike is a very political yes i thought it was more of a statement against the 80s no that's how i read it as a kid it's just like i'm I'm sure Groening was like, yeah, I fucking hate that guy. Yeah, I think at first I read a statement like

80s celebrities are old and they're not getting wax figures anymore. But Ronald Reagan's head on a pike implies something. Yes. He was still alive, too. So when that Game of Thrones

thing happened, that Game of Thrones thing happened, everyone was pointing out no, the Simpsons did this and it was fine. No one cared. There were no DVDs recalled. We watched the episode, we got over it. But all of a sudden it was like, no, simpsons did this and it was fine like no one cared there were no dvds recalled we watched the episode we got over it but all of a sudden was like no you cannot do that in your show sir holy shit dvds were recalled and you can barely

tell it's george w bush like you can tell like it's like like a second shot you can see the side of his face so yeah so lisa turns on the laramie segregation it turns into a social justice warrior. I'm tired of being a corporate shill. From now on, I will speak out against the evils in society. From dog napping to cigarettes. Dog napping. By the way, if there are any cigarettes who would like to sponsor the show, we are open to this idea.

Anything slim. Vincent and Hedges, you still around? I completely forgot the joke Of The nerds rushing the football field It's so funny I think it's funny they're not beaten to death

Let's get them You clearly didn't read the newspaper Oh right It said nerds pummeled Nerd pummeled in football melee I forgot about that I was waiting for the payoff I forgot it was delivered via newspaper Oh, right. Yeah. It said nerds pummel, nerd pummeled in football melee. I forgot about that. I was waiting for the payoff.

I forgot it was delivered via newspaper. That's one of my favorite gags that didn't work well enough in audio to capture. Here's my thing, though. The writers agree that this cigarette thing comes out of nowhere for a third act closure. And it's not very satisfying. I agree. It falls apart. It does fall apart here. And it's not even why she's booted off out of the role of Miss Springfield.

I mean, it is and it isn't. She's making political enemies, and so they're trying to get rid of her. I do like there's another Wiggum-Quimby-Smokey-Room showdown, but Wiggum is too stupid to participate. He's eating potato chips. I wanted the, meh, exchange from the, fuck, what episode was that? But I called this Springfield Illuminati because I love it. It's Homer alone. It's Mayor Quimby.

Mayor Quimby. The Laramie guy. But it's crusty in a cigarette postbox. In addition to that, the Springfield Illuminati. I love them. Gentlemen,

we need to get Lisa Simpson out and Amber Dempsey back in. But this glorified crossing god of a police chief won't get off his big fat can. Is it okay

if I open these potato chips? Gentlemen, our prayers have been answered. Take a look at our little Miss Springfield's pageant application. Roxy, bring in a bottle of champagne. And some dip for these chips. Something. He's so fixated on the chips. Great little, I like a little ablet there.

There's one more of these showdowns, I think, with in Home, sorry, Marge vs. Monorail where Quimby and Wiggum are in, like, having another smoky room discussion, yeah. Well, actually, there is the one in the sauna where he says, hey, don't tell anybody, but Marge got arrested for shoplifting. Oh, right, yeah.

It's not a smoky back room so much as a sauna, but... Yeah, it counts a bit. So, right, yeah. It's not a smoky back room so much as a sauna. Yeah, it counts a bit. So yeah, as a storytelling thing, once Lisa becomes a beauty queen, I don't think they knew what they wanted to do with her. And then it just quickly falls apart. They poorly built Catamaran. It falls apart.

But I think they even just hang a lantern on how much they don't care about anyone. And it's a goat. That's why the previous episode previous episode, I pointed out Trusty coming over to raise money for Jewish clowns, is because, like, Simpson's whole job is to reset at the end of every episode. It has to reset. I like to think Lisa would be savvy enough to know

a contest sponsored by a cigarette company would compromise her morals if she won it. I feel like she should know that ahead of time. I questioned that earlier, and maybe that's why she'll be smarter the next time with this. But, I mean, episodes like this and the Malibu Stacey episode are kind of, are they like innocence lost moments for Lisa? Yes.

And I do love the episodes where Lisa gets to play a little girl. It's nice that she's the voice of reason in A Family of Idiots. Like that she's the voice of reason, but she still is a little girl and occasionally she'll get woken up to, oh, this other thing you thought was innocent part of your childhood, it also is evil and you might need to be protested or whatever.

Oh my god, I can't wait for the Malibu States episode. We're so close. Is that season five? Season five, yeah. So this episode goes off. Those goats. That goat man. That's the end of the episode. Lisa Simpson is no longer Little Miss Springfield.

She was stripped of her crown in a ceremony earlier today. But it does seem the father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under do not write in this space, he wrote, okay. If it wasn't for me, you'd still be queen. You must hate me. Dad, do you remember why you entered me in that pageant? I don't know. Was I drunk?

Possibly. But the point is, you wanted me to feel better about myself. And I do. Really? Uh-huh. Will you remember this the next time I wreck your life? It's a deal. Brockman News cutting to the goat is such a good gag.

The sound of him walking out of the room was really good, too. It sounded like Shearer actually did walk out of the recording booth. I love the line, I'll be downstairs at McDougal's. It calls back to that drunk journalist era, the drunk TV journalist era, because when I went to college 15 years ago, I was a T-Com major originally, telecommunications. I took an announcing class, which is why my diction is so great, of course. And I was taught by the great Tom Holden of Youngstown, Ohio. He was basically the Ron Burgundy of our town in the 70s. But at that time, he was a washed up former alcoholic.

But he was Ken Brockman, basically. He looked like Ken Brockman. He spoke like him. He had a giant Jim Blossom nose. So when I heard this line, I'm like, that's him. That's this era of anchors, news anchors. I actually read the Anchorman script at one point. The original script, it called for Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather to be in a bar.

It was supposed to open with every famous newscaster talking about Ron Burgundy in the 70s. Well, that also reminds me, you know, in Network. Network showed you the life of a news anchor, and they all are going out for drinks afterwards. They're all drunk. I don't know if that's changed, or it's just become, like, just sort of accepted, but, like, the drunk news guy, journalist, news anchor,

anyone associated with the press is just a... Well, what if, hypothetically, you ready for this? I'm going to blow your minds. Oh, God. What if that's what everybody does? Oh! What are we about to do right after this recording? Oh, drink more beer?

Yes! Go downstairs and drink more beer! I want to get drunk and stay up all night! But the Ken Brockman joke is great. I do love Lisa getting to play the role of the little girl. I just wish I could workshop the writing some okay. There's a good joke in the application thing. It just, I think it's bad to have Kent Brockman read it out loud.

It's a very cheap way to finish it. It takes too long. Well, it both takes too long and just speeds it up. Like, there, he wrote okay in the thing. It's over. And more behind-the-scenes stuff. I think on the commentary they said the whole writing staff had basically vacated. So they didn't have the pool of talent to draw from for ideas.

So it was basically just a few people left at this point. I think they took a break after season three. The goat cutaway is the good part of the joke. I love when things don't go right for Kent Brockman and he leaves. It happens several times. It's more unprofessional for him to just leave the set than for the things coming at him. Yeah.

How does this happen? These shows are supposed to be a half an hour. They're getting so goddamn good, Chris. We can't just leave it to half an hour. The fans demand it.

Please give us more money by the way. I have been your host Bob Mackie. This is Talking Simpsons. You can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo. I also host another

podcast. It's called Retronauts. It's a classic gaming podcast. You can find it at retronauts.com or usgamer.net. Also read my writing at usgamer.net or somethingawful.com. Henry, what do you do? I'm

H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on Twitter, and you can follow my work at fandom.com, where I'm the senior games editor. But there's other great things you can do, like listening to all my appearances in the Lazer Time family of podcasts. I used to do a comic book podcast podcast called the cape crisis which you can still download if you want to listen to it but more recently i've been on episodes of veggie game apocalypse of laser time

but most importantly the patreon.com slash laser time special season three wrap-up of talking simpsons for five dollars a month you'll get access to that as well as our season two wrap-up of Talking Simpsons. For $5 a month, you'll get access to that, as well as our season two wrap-up, and the entire first season of Talking Simpsons all there, and tons more bonus content you will get for monetarily supporting us being able to do this podcast every week, along with a bunch of other podcasts.

$5 a month is patreon.com slash LazerTime. That is 15 new episodes of Talking Simpsons you probably haven't heard before, right? And so much more, right, Chris? Yeah, and you can find me at lasertimepodcast.com. We do a ton of fun shows there. Please take my word for it. Just go listen.

They're available everywhere you listen to your podcast. Your iTunes, your fucking Spotify. What's the other ones? Oh, my God. Stitcher, Google Play. Let's go drink. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week

with another Treehouse of Horror one of the best ones see you then so close to Halloween wow infotainment