Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Lisa on Ice With Jesse Farrar

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

"It's your child versus mine. The winner will be showered with praise; the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore!" - Homer J. Simpson In order to pass gym class, Lisa finds herself enrolled in the violent, competitive world of pee-wee hockey. But when her surprising goalie skills end up making her Homer's favorite, Lisa and Bart end up in an air-kicking, fist-windmilling battle for their parents' love (and one pet turtle's safety).  Our guest: Jesse Farrar from The Go Off Kings and Your Kickstarter Sucks Support this podcast and get over 200 ad-free bonus episodes by visiting Patreon.com/TalkingSimpsons and becoming a patron! And please follow the official Bluesky and Instagram!

This podcast is brought to you by patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons. Head there to check out exclusive podcasts like Talking Futurama, Talk King of the Hill, The What a Cartoon movie podcast, and tons more. Ahoy, hoi, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, the podcast that's outlogged aggressive condiment passing. I'm one of your host, the Millhouse Tooth collector Bob Mackie, and this is our chronological exploration of the Simpsons, who is here with me today as always. I'm no Harvey Globetrotter. I'm Henry Gilbert. And who is our special guest on the line?

I'm Jesse Farrar. Would you like to play again? You have selected no. And this week's episode is Lisa on ice. Wow, I have the tiger, mouth of a teamster. To think of all the time, I wasted on you. Well, not wasted. I love you. This week's episode originally aired on November 13, 1994, And as always, Henry will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real world history.

Interview with a vampire tops the box office. Ronald Reagan dies his hair with Alzheimer's announcement. And Donkey Kong Country is released for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. Oh, great. It was a fine week for vampires and apes. Yes, yeah. And Ronald Reagan's between those two. Honestly, I had already mentioned the Alzheimer's announcement,

the previous week of Simpsons. It kind of happened in between the two. But then with the Ronald Reagan dyes his hair joke in the start of this episode. I was like, well, shit, I have to include the Ronald Reagan announcement of him being officially having Alzheimer's that happened this week. Well, he's got about 10 more years of putting brain before they slide him right into the ground. It's a hell of a toboggan ride until then. Yes, Donkey Kong Country. What a game.

We all played it. Actually, I only rented it. It was too hard for me. I did love its beauty, but I could not beat it as a youth. I think with Save States, maybe at some point I eventually beat it on an emulator. I fell for the hype, but I never played any of the other ones because deep down, I realized not as high quality as Mario. The game's eventually got a lot better in recent years. Jesse, Donkey Kong country fan.

Wow. I'm shocked to hear that you think that it's not as good as Mario. I'm surprised I feel like it makes a pretty strong case to be better than Mario over the course of the whole series. I think there is an elder and younger millennial splits, and Jesse, I'm not sure about how old you are, but you might be on the pro-Donkey Kong country side. Yeah, I'm 26. So which one is, which one is that for? You're squarely in the Donkey Kong camp. We are the Mario Geezers, as they call us. No, I'm 38, so I have no excuse. Our teeth are falling out. We're about to turn 44, so it does put you squarely in the Donkey Kong country. You're a citizen of Donkey Kong country.

I'll take that. Yeah, I don't know. There's something about, is it writing on the animals that captured that youthful imagination for me? I'm not sure. But, you know, on stream, on the Go Off King's stream with my co-host, Stefan Heck. I don't know why I said that like an answering machine. Sorry, Stefan, heck. We played through the Donkey Kong country series together on co-op, and we did use a controversial practice known as save scumming to get through some of the more difficult bits. And with our, you know, aged reflexes, it was absolutely necessary. But a fun challenge, for sure. No person who's normal and over 30 should be judged for savescumbing. We're not doing this professionally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our lives are like grains of sand running through the hourglass.

We're counting every one of them now. We have no time left to master Donkey Kong country. I disliked the other two ones, honestly, because the sequels, because you couldn't play as Donkey Kong. They take Donkey Kong away from you and you have to play as Diddy and Dixie Kong. You don't even get Diddy in the third one, right? Yeah, it's Dixie and Baby. Ugh, boo. Give me Yoshi's Island any day, but that's a year from when this episode aired.

Despite not liking these games, we know all the characters' names. Yes, yeah. I excitedly said hi to them when I play Donkey Kong Bonanza, like Dixie and Diddy and Cranky appear in it and funky. And I was like, wow, they're all here. All my friends are here. Candy Kong, though, too sexy for the 2020s. I know, man, they're canceling Candy Kong.

And then, yes, interview with the vampire, the Neil Jordan film. Definitely there's been a reclamation of, I've seen people love the new interview with the vampire series, liking that it's apparently sexier and gayer than this 1994 film was. That's what I've seen said about the new series. It's a TV show now. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's a streaming thing.

Oh, yeah. Not to split hairs, but I guess that is what this podcast is about. Yeah, right. I saw the movie late. I never saw it when it came out. I mean, I guess I was maybe a little bit young for that when it came out,

but I didn't see it as an adolescent or even a young adult. I just saw it in the last couple years. And I thought, hey, it was pretty good. So if it gets even gayer and sexier from there, you know, maybe I'm on board. I saw the movie when my parents rented it. I saw it recently, too, and I did like it. But I just remember this is one of the books that was just the sexiest, muddiest book I was reading in school.

And that was the best way to get away with absorbing trash is in book form because teachers would just be happy that you were reading and they wouldn't care what it was. So I just remember all of the sex and the violence in books like this. In Forrest Gump having sex all the time in that book, not quite in the movie, though. Times have really changed with respect to what's going on in school libraries, I suppose. At least where I live, things are a little bit different than that now. That's actually the first place they look to make sure that you're not learning anything new. I think these like Barnes and Noble selections I took from the outside world, the secular world, brought them into my cafe. Oh, okay, you were allowed to have that.

Okay, got it. Also, it's an interesting time because this debuts in number one and it knocks down the Santa Claus. But don't worry, the Santa Claus is about to make a triumphant trick. back up the top and rule the box office for pretty much the rest of the year as interview with the vampire meanwhile moves back down as the conservative choice wins out in America. Yeah, and I guess they assume this is going to be a series, but the next one didn't come out until 2001 because interview with the vampire is actually a book from the 70s. It wasn't a new book or anything like that.

I think it was supposed it was certainly thought of as like, this will be a franchise with Tom Cruise playing LaStad and many things, but I think Tom Cruise got a little sensitive. I think to people saying like, oh, finally Tom Cruise gets to like be kind of gay in this movie as a theoretical gay vampire for Brad Pitt. And that then made Tom Cruise like doubt his sexuality too much. So he got out of there and got back into the masculine world of killing spies in Mission Impossible two years later. Yeah, was Top Gun before that? Yeah, Top Gun was 86. Okay.

So he was pretty, I would say he's pretty comfortable playing with the line at that point. And yeah, maybe that was the straw that broke the camel's back for him. I think on Top Gun, Tony Scott tricked him into acting queer. That's what I think. Maybe that's right. Okay, just stand around in your underwear here, like a heterosexual Navy pilot does. Sure. That's fine.

Yes, I'm looking up the sequel to interview with the vampire, of course. That was called Queen of the Damned. And it was a movie that was panned so harshly that Alia actually crashed the plane. Oh. It was a posthumous release of Alia, wasn't it? Damn. I'm going to say investigate R. Kelly. I'm a little late to the party on that, but... Honestly, I think you're on to something here, Bob. I think you found a new conspiracy theory here. But anyway, that's all the fun stuff that was happening the week. This episode of The Simpsons aired. And joining us for the first time is Jesse Ferrar from the Your Kickstarter Sucks podcast. Welcome to the show, Jesse.

Hey, thanks for having me, guys. I saw on your Kickstarter sucks, you have cartoon, you know, focused special content. on your Patreon sometimes. You even had a Paul F. Tompkins talking about Bob's Berger's movie that he is in. I was like, oh, these guys know how to talk about cartoons for two hours. We've got to get Jesse on here. Okay, I did a Tony Scott level trickeration on you then

because that couldn't be further from the truth. I just think when we do special stuff like that for my month, for Arch or for Mike's month, Mike Tover, or at least when I'm coming up with the idea of it, I like to think of the stupid title of it first and then work backwards. So I thought back to the drawing board, That's a phrase you might use. And then what would I do there?

I guess cartoons. So then I had to figure it out from there. But yeah, we did The Simpsons movie too, which was, you know, it is what it is. I'm sure you guys have your thoughts on that one. Yeah, yeah, we're going to cover it in detail at some point. We've already been on two other podcasts talking about the movie. Wow. Yeah, it's, we do the We Hate Movies and the Michael and Us podcast on it.

I feel like, I almost feel like there's one other. We've done it so many times. It's hard to remember it before we've even done it for ourselves. But with many Latter-D-Day Simpsons' episode, episodes, it feels like they do come up with the title first and then try to justify the one incredible pun with an entire narrative. I agree. I'm sort of in the latter days of my podcast or career, I guess, overall. So I feel the exact same way as, you know, the writers for season 49 of the Simpsons or whatever it's on now. Is you just got to, I mean, obviously, hey, show's got

to come out next week. So better do something. I hope somebody funny dies. And if not, then we got to do a pun. I don't know. I'm assuming you just said your age, so you grew up with The Simpsons like all of us. We barely even need to ask these questions. Oh, sure, yeah. Although one thing I definitely remember is that I think I have a hard time recalling whether I was watching them first run or whether I was watching them in syndication. And I just didn't know what syndication was yet. I remember they came on at 5 p.m. Central Time, which seems a little bit early for it to be like the new episode.

And I was watching them like during the week. Have they always been a Sunday premiere show? In terms of the weekly New Simpsons, it was Sunday in season one, and then seasons two to five was Thursday, and then back to Sunday for season six. Is that right, Henry? Yes, yeah, yeah. So this is it's back to Sunday time. So no, you definitely sound like the exact demographic they were going for when they launched syndication, which was children whose parents won't let them watch the Simpsons at 8, so they put it on at 5, and they can watch it without their parents' approval. Yes, I distinctly remember.

And of course, it could be one of those fake memories that you just make up as. an adult later. I distinctly remember getting ready to go to karate class and finishing an episode of The Simpsons and then seeing that telltale local car dealership commercial and knowing that my time with the funny cartoons was drawing to a close and I had

to go learn my cada. But yeah, I watched it all throughout childhood and it incenses people in my friend group to this day that I say that I don't like the Simpsons because I did not, I didn't get that particular millennial brain worm. You know, obviously you guys

know the show and the episode numbers and of course the fabulous quotes. I just have never had that type of brain for stuff. I don't know what it is. But The Simpsons, you know, hey, I watched it. I was there. You know, I got it. Was your brain infected with a different media property from that era? Did something else take over?

I do something even worse than liking the Simpsons if we're putting things in terms of ethical Quagmire's. Emphasis on Quagmire, I'm a family guy fan. I do like Family Guy more, although I do hate it more. also. It's a lot more hateable. It's a lot more disgusting. It's a lot less defensible in a lot of ways. But I have always been a fall asleep to the TV guy. And family guy, for whatever reason, just seems like a totally safe, ignorable show that I can have on in the background as I drift off to sleep. And it works pretty well for me. So I guess that's a little bit of where it comes from.

I see. I mean, we're finding more smoking guns in this elder millennial, younger millennial divide. We have the preference for Donkey Kong country, the preference for family. Family Guy. These are all, like, key elements of the split between us, the division in our generation. What is your feelings on Shrek then? Ooh. Oh, I'm not even sure which way I'm supposed to answer, but I'll just say from the heart, I truly hate Shrek.

Okay. Okay. All right. Does that line up? Well, with us, yes. You're favoring more elder millennial. I think we and the haters in general have softened on Family Guy and Seth McFarlane because he's made a lot of great stuff.

Henry, in fact, is a Ted Mega fan. I hate watch the two TED movies with my husband And then when we watch the TED TV show We actually did like it And I was like, wow, this actually, am I liking this episode? Is this actually funny? That guy, look, McFarland is so scattershot That I think unless you just have excellent taste

Across the board, he's going to get you with something It's going to be either Ted, which is different from the movies Or it's going to be the Star Trek shit If you're a Star Trek guy Or it's going to be something it's not hey maybe you like crooners and you listen to his Christmas album instead I'm not saying it's all good or any of it's good but for most people who are like you know open to crap he's gonna find something that slots right in that hole for you that's why he's worth a billion dollars

now I mean the real heads love the Cleveland show that's the top tier McFarland fans they're still like having vigils every month that's right we are big American dad of boosters here on this show that is our preferred that's our favorite Seth McFarlane show We've covered it multiple times. Yeah, that seems to be the one that gets people with taste in. Yeah, I couldn't tell you what the difference is. I don't get it. It seems like it's all the same to me, but I do fall asleep to family guy and not American dad.

So I don't know. Maybe there's something to it. Well, and speaking of dads, like as a dad, we always like to ask this, we're both childless, of course, by choice. And I love to ask our dad guests like, do or mom guess, like, does viewing these shows, especially like an episode like, Lisa on Ice about parenting. Like, does it change seeing it now as a parent versus when you were a kid? You know, it's funny. There was a time when I got all the Simpson stuff and was telling my kid, I was like,

hey, feel free to go crazy on this. And we watched some and it just didn't stick. But that's no fault of the Simpsons. I mean, she's watching K dramas and stuff like that. It's like a different, kids are different now. But I would say that it definitely does make me sympathetic to, if not the cultural movement to ban the Simpsons, at least the. parental skittishness around the show. I'm not like, I have a 14 year old, a 12 year old,

and a one year old. So we're also really comfortable with them challenging, you know, the boundaries of what they can watch and stuff like that. We try to show them stuff that we think is good and explain context for stuff that we think is not and all kinds of stuff. They really have a pretty varied media diet. So to that extent, or in that context, I'm proud of that. But yeah, you do see Homer and you're like, well, you know, not to be such a stiff about it, but, but he does kind of choke his kid a lot. You know, I'm not, I'm not breaking new ground by saying that, but as a kid, it just kind of like washes over you.

And then as an adult, you say like, okay, I probably wouldn't, I wouldn't take too many parents. They're awful. And that's what makes them funny. I get it. But they are awful. Even Marge is awful. She's irredeemable in a lot of ways, I feel.

Yeah, somehow Homer threatening to strike part in this episode is more disturbing than the full on strangling. Yes. Yeah, because he does like the, or did you flinch? Like he does that thing to him. And it's funny, but it is pretty bad. I wanted to ask that too, because this is among, maybe it is the worst Homer's ever acted as a parent is in this episode.

It's top three, I'd say at least. I think maybe in a couple of Mike Scully seasons, not this is the Mike Scully written episode, but maybe in some of his seasons, Homer is worse in a particular episode. But yeah, just that, I mean, just that flinch the hand, fist up, That already is a pretty big low for Homer. That's pretty gnarly to do, for sure. And, of course, the text of the whole show being which kid is his favorite, which is, you know, as a parent, that's one of those things you never say, much less. You don't even let yourself think stuff like that because you're like, I don't even want to be in that thoughts.

It's a horrible thing for someone to put in your own head, you know, but this episode revels in it in a pretty, I mean, it's funny, but a nasty way. I'll just say that favorites, no. You don't need to tell them. I am Jesse I'm curious. Are you a hockey enjoyer? Have you? No, I really only, I only care about hockey, I guess, just as a proxy for my Vancouver friend, Stefan, who is a big Canucks fan or is mired in the Canucks fandom or however

he's putting it this week based on their performance. But, you know, we have the National Predators here. I've been to some games. I think it's a fun. I'm a playoff hockey guy, I guess I'll say. Yeah, I just moved to Canada not too long ago. in 2023. And I'm not into hockey. I don't think I've ever watched a game. The only video game I played was Mutant League hockey, so I never even played a real hockey video game. But it's fun to see

pandering towards a different kind of sports fan because growing up in the Midwest, I was used to pandering to baseball fans and football fans. But now when I walk by the McDonald's, I see I can buy a star stick with my meal. A star stick. It's a little hockey stick that is, I guess, based on a number of famous hockey players. I don't know. But it's just fun to see. Like a new kind of pandering. I love it. These days, mainly hockey is known for man-on-man action. That's true.

Hockey is having a bit of renaissance among, you know, maybe non-sport fans. But here's a conspiracy theory I have. After the success of heated rivalry, bringing in new fans into hockey especially, I was getting a sense, women who like to see men kissing men. I'm gay too. And I was like, hey, I like you too. I understand, ladies. But I think when they were seeing that kind of increase in that,

demographic. That's why the American team was partying with Cash Patel. They were trying to be like, no, we're red state stuff. Get out of here. Gay ladies who like gay stuff where this is a man sport. That's that's my conspiracy. That's a tough line to draw. I don't know if it'll work. I mean, we certainly hate the U.S. men's hockey team now, I think, with a good reason here. Yeah, I don't know. Do you think it will spawn more? Are we going to have like the gay basketball guys or is there going to be, how else are they going to do this? Well, I mean, if I'm pitching TV shows, I'm doing heated rivalry for every other American, for all the American sports. I'm pitching that day and day out to every streamer.

Yeah, since heated rivalry exploded, I've been seeing the book series in a lot of bookstores. And I've also been seeing a lot of other gay sports series that I was never aware of because I'm sure they were not out front. But now they're just like getting a lot more prominence. Yeah. Again, not here. But yeah, I'm sure in some places that's true. I guess in like cool use bookstores. Yeah, yeah.

But not in like Target or whatever. Yeah, my kids have to go digging for that stuff still, okay? We can't just, it's not just falling out of the shelves onto us. This episode, though, is another one by Mike Scully and a vowed hockey fan. He looked at the sports they had covered to that point and saw they hadn't done hockey. And he's like, all right, let's do hockey. Let's have it be Bart and Lisa playing. It should also be mentioned that Mike Scully was like one of the, at the time,

one of the only parents on the show. So I think that's, too, why he brought a lot of parenting things to the show. too. It was though David Merkin who suggested let's bring in more of the parents being horrible at sports games and a general, David Merkin hates sports and hates the mania

around sports and thinks it's bullshit which is that's where all of the town going crazy for sports in this episode came in from David Merkin and his showrunner on this. Yeah, it does feel a little bit like and I haven't watched the early stuff back to back to back to back. This is interesting to me in that it feels like

it's so early on that it does just feel like what we were talking about with podcast episodes before. It's like, well, something's got to come out. So let's do something because there are people like out of place, out of character, against type. None of it really seems to be like the standard Simpsons, I guess, you know, the lore and the context for the characters that we learn about later on, you know. But I gather at least from the stuff that I remember from being kid and watching it,

this is probably considered one of the classic episodes, right? Oh, for sure. Yes. It's got a lot of great jokes, a lot of great cartoon violence and sweetness to it. And there's also I've cited, I'm going to be citing a few times from a recent oral history panel that was done at Vulture Fest last year. It's basically a live podcast where Mike Scully, David Merkin, David Silverman, and then Yardley Smith and Nancy Cartwright shared a ton specifically about this episode. But you know what? You guys shouldn't watch it.

It's obviously a lame panel where the host just play a bunch of clips and then comment on it like losers. Who'd want to listen to that? It'll never work. Yeah. Tell them to shut up. I want to hear the clip. lips. Yeah. David Merkin is very funny on it, though. He has a good joke. He says like, oh, I got this one idea from talking with Gary Shandling. And you know what? I haven't heard

from him in a while. What's going on there? And there is an original first draft script out there. Honestly, I normally like to cite a bunch of things from it, but it is like only 40% the same. So I'm only going to mention the biggest changes in it. The third act, especially, almost entirely different. You can read it for yourself on Internet Archive. When you see something like that, what do you chalk that up to? Just a ton of rewrites? Or it's just like, when they change an episode like that, is it because it didn't get laughs?

Or what is it? I'm not sure what draft Henry was looking at, but usually it's like, well, the writer turns in their draft and then the entire team gets to work on proving it, changing it. Often if there's a table read that goes bad, a lot of it is hastily rewritten after that. So it turns on when, what part of the process the script existed in.

Yes, this one is a first, draft in that it is not formatted like a table read script, which is usually after a entire writer's room rewriting it and pitching jokes and ideas. So yeah, it seems like it's the first thing Mike Scully turned in as his first draft. So it's not been reworked quite a lot, which happens to most things. This is no insult. Not Mike Scully as a writer. I guess the writers have said, or at least some writers have said that maybe 30% of what you wrote will end up in the final script. And I'd say it's worth looking up just to see like how even for a good writer like

Mike Scully, like how much improvement can be done through that system because like David Merkin really did the stuff he added about the parents being bad parents and in general mania around just a game is some of the best stuff that's not featured in the original

first draft. But the opening of the episode though is another David Merkin thing and this might be the best of them all, but it almost feels like every episode in season 5, and six, Bob, right? Is that he hates local news. He hates local news.

Yeah, just like the news sensationalism in general, although we've lapped this by now, but I want the Newsmax and Fox News people to run to their desk like Kemp Rockman. We're not getting that. Where's the energy? Where's the energy? Yeah.

What? Sorry, so what was that supposed to mean when he ran to the desk? He was just doing, he was just late? Just trying to spice up this action news angle they've got now. It's so action-packed. He's going to run to his desk. lean into the camera and just scream.

And I think this is around the time a lot of local news were calling themselves action news at 11. I know one of my local stations turned into action news. There was no running onto the set, but they were trying to say, we've got hard hitting coverage, and then I guess it was basically just the same local news. I don't think I ever would have thought twice about seeing the word action in the name of, because why would I ever think about what the news is called anyways? But that's just the charm of doing something 30 years ago, I guess. Well, I know it's something to the drove like Bob Odenkirk and the other Mr. Show guy's crazy

because it also seemed like every other episode of Mr. Show has an action news parody sketch in it too as well. Wow, okay. Yeah, there's, well, you'll get through it. But the other one that I thought of was such an anachronism for watching it now is the, well, it's the tech of this show, isn't it? Well, yes, it's 32 years ago now, yeah, geez. This is where Kent Brockman explains he gets a real shock. The way he pauses on Ronald. Reagan dies, his hair. It actually, I think, as I remember, it made my mom gasp.

Like, she was like, even though Yves even take that as the news. Yeah. Yeah. Would be announced on The Simpsons that way. This action. This Gary Trudeau musical review, I'm not sure if that was a recent reference, but I looked this up. There was a Dunesbury Broadway musical in 1983. And you can look these songs up online. I don't think it's, was performed much afterwards, but it does exist.

I definitely think that the Ronald Ray Reagan dyes his hair was the small hands of its time mockery of the conservative. Yes. Yeah. That and he loved jelly beans, right? All that, yeah. Said it before him. If you go to the Jelly Belly factory in Northern California, it is basically a tribute to

Ronald Reagan is what it really is. As I learned when we visited. Is that where his library is? Ah, that's in a different part of California. I'm not sure where that is. But they have multiple jelly bean paintings of him. as in like murals made out of little dots of jelly beans but of Ronald Reagan. Wow, that sucks.

Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I just wanted the jelly beans. I didn't want this politics. Yeah. Capture my visage in rotting candy, please. Then we get to hear of the dangerous snow as this also feels like now every, I mean,

definitely you watch news now like any potential massive storm is going to get like coverage to make sure you don't change the channel and that you're going to die if you do. in this case. They have the death toll on screen waiting for one person to die. It's at zero the whole time. Also, I just love Harry Shear is just going all in. I'm like, damn you snow! Yeah, when I was a kid, we had a cute little mascot that would tell us if we were going to get out of school for the day. It was in his name of Snowbird. Other people may have had snowbirds. I don't know. But we had a little snowbird. It was cute and it was fun. It wasn't scary at all. It was something we looked forward to. But this was very menacing. Maybe that has to do with wherever Springfield actually is. You and Bob come from a snowier part of America than me.

I grew up in Florida, mainly, the born in Arkansas. But, yeah, it was a rare snow day. We had many more hurricane days than snow day. That's not as fun, is it? No. Yeah, we would often miss, I mean, this is back when I used to snow a lot more in the Midwest, but some years we missed like 20 days of school because of snow. Wow.

And it ruled. Yeah, that's great. It ruled. When we lost a week to a hurricane And when I was in high school They made us For the rest of the year They made us stay at school

For 20 extra minutes And I was like What's the fucking point of this? Not teaching kidding Yeah I was lucky to have a mom I guess who didn't trust the bus driver So if it would be a really snowy night

She would tell us You're not going to school tomorrow And I thought okay Nice Great This rules I got my whole day plan It was probably watching the Simpsons

All next day Watching all my tapes And throwing your books in the fire, just as Bart does, too. Also, the way he throws it in the fire, this is just like that clip. They used in the last clip show that you source back to Dog of Death Bob, just like the same setup of throwing a book in a fire. I think in this case it's new animation and not someone laying a video effect over existing footage. Now, in the original, in the first draft, we actually learned what Book Report Bart was doing.

He was doing one on the 1993 bestseller Jerry Seinfeld's Sign Language. which Edna will later call when reviewing it. She calls it a cut and paste job. She was not a fan of it. Yeah, I read that book as a kid. It is just like a series of excerpts of his stand-up comedy. That's right. You could just publish your stand-up comedy as a book and call it a day then.

I mean, like 20 years ago or maybe 15 years ago, Kevin Smith just published transcripts of his podcasts. That's right. The Smodcast, yes, transcripts as a book. That's right. It was called Shooting the Shit in the Shit with Kevin Smith, the Michael and Us podcast reminded me that this existed. But there's no way that sold like hotcakes, right?

It's sold to the 100,000 people who will buy whatever Kevin Smith craps into a box. That's a good gig. Do you think when they're transcribing it, do they just put like in brackets like exhales weed smoke in between? Or is it just accepted that that's in what you're transcribed? I think they just put it in the weed smoke fonts. So you know, he's exhaling the weed smoke. Oh, is he a big pot head? I think not anymore, actually, since the heart attack.

Oh, I think he has, he's become a real health guy these last ones. That's worse. His clothes didn't get smaller, but he stopped smoking, as far as I know. Oh, at Millhouse, he was doing a book report on Diana Ross's memoir, Secrets of a Sparrow. Man, they're taking shots at all of these recent low-effort books. Now, you know what, do these celebrities even write their memoirs anymore, or do they just start a podcast? That's kind of quaint, isn't it? The idea that you would even bother to go get a ghost writer to slap your name on a book?

Why would you? I mean, I don't know. I assume that advances for celebrities are still rather high, but then you just get your fake pack or whatever to buy all the books. It just seems like money laundering. These days with memoirs, the ones like are, that I hear about are like the celebrities who are in their like 70s or 80s, like Barbara Streisand, for instance,

who are like, okay, finally here's a memoir out. And they're going to finally list the names of everybody they had sex with who are dead now that they can say. On a podcast, though, at least they would have to, read an ad factor or something so we could, it's honest work you know, not just sitting there talking to a tape recorder so somebody else

goes off and does all the work. Yeah, Strysan could cut a killer ad for Raid Shadow Legends. I want to hear that before she dies. Then we hear that we can trust this meteorologist because he's going to go perform at the Laugh and Brew in Burgers and Fries. That's a great

I just love that delivery. Laugh and Brew in Burgers and Fries, a terrible name for a comedy club. My local comedy club in Jacksonville was called The Comedy Zone. That's where I saw David Tell. We had the funny farm. Let's see. Zanies is big here.

I don't know if that's having a chain. I think. Yeah, I think there's two. Okay. So it's pretty big, yeah, for a comedy club. I saw David Tell at the Comedy Zone and then opening for him was some road comic who unabashedly stole Bill Hicks' jokes. And I couldn't believe it. I was like, wow, you're just, you were probably a contemporary of Bill Hicks.

And you're just doing his jokes. like nobody's going to call this out Wow Yeah It was the what's you're reading for Bill Hicks joke Where I was like Well that's like on an album

That's not like a famous album How can you do this Man I love David Tell I've never seen him live I did watch a lot of his What's the up all night show Ensobiac? Is that what it's called?

Yeah If you try to pirate those anywhere The quality on them is absolutely abominable They are like They're like VHS quality Recordings of that show But I guess that just kind of adds

to the Davideliness of it all, you know? The night falls. Scully talks about how he also grew up, he'd grew up in Massachusetts where they also were always hoping for a snow day, but they head outside and it's unseasonable warmth instead. After Bart does know that when he's woken up with a snowball to the face. Very clever prank by Lisa, I got to say. Yeah, I also like that it sets up that Lisa and Bart, if you're a new viewer, this is your first Simpsons, it lets you know that they have a sibling rivalry before to add like, you know, some foundation for what's going to come later. Bartch runs outside and he gets bullied for his PJs, which is just so great, like your mommy

buying for you. Yes, who else would? And all the kids are there too. They're all right out hanging out in the Simpsons yard. I'm going to assume Lisa called them over first and then woke up with it. That was part of her system. Okay. So she had Jimbo's phone number. She called Jimbo. Bring the whole crew. Right. And so Bart has to go to school without having done his homework. and this is where we get our first clip. Okay, it's book report time. We'll do them alphabetically. Today it's A through M.

I'm saved. I love being a Sison. Let's see. We have no A's, so let's go right to the B's. Bart. Huh? Ha! Mrs. Crabble, I didn't...

Attention, this is Principal Skinner, your principal. With a message from the principal's office. All students please proceed immediately to an assembly in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium. Damn it, I wish we hadn't let the students name that one. Children, the times they are becoming quite different. Test scores are at an all-time low, so I've come up with these academic alerts.

You will receive one as soon as your grades start to slip in any subject. This way your parents won't have to wait until a report card time to punish you. How innovative, I like it. Hey, Duff, take a member on your Newton. Beat up, Martin. Now, when we covered all of the BS people say Simpsons predicted with Matt Christman at a live show a few years ago, I believe when we cited this clip as one, that was the one he was most angry about people saying was a Simpsons predicted it on the Newton there. What did people say it predicted, though?

I remember exactly. It was stupid, dumb guy Pat McAfee on his podcast said, that predicted, you know, computers being able to read your hands. handwriting and text to speech. That's what the Simpson predicted there. I think he even said it was the iPhone itself, like a smart screen. And as it was playing, Matt Crispin was like, the Newton was a real thing. I guess explaining to the younger people, the Apple Newton was Apple's PDA line of products.

And it wasn't just some one-off device that failed miserably. They were making at least eight different models between 93 to 98. So maybe the technology got better. I just know that we have jokes like this because it was very shaky. in the beginning. And now we don't have PDAs anymore. Would you give them it predicted bad autocorrect? Or was that also just the way that thing worked too? I think it was just referencing the bad autocorrect on the device. It was advertised like if you write on the device, it'll turn it into text. But then people realize, oh, you have to

have a certain kind of handwriting for it to recognize it perfectly. Yeah, although I guess certainly bad autocorrect is like such a prominent feature of today's life that maybe I would Maybe I would cut all of the moron some slack and say, all right, this seemed like a trivial, cute thing in this time period. And now it's like, you know, bad auto correct. Like they're organizing missile strikes on WhatsApp, like a bad auto correct. I mean, look, everything's fucked. That's like, that's a part of it that I don't think we could possibly have predicted how bad it would be for us now, you know? And we're not writing letters anymore, like A, B, and C.

We're typing them. That's true. Also, that we're bringing back cursive. Oh, yes, finally. Very important. No, well, also the auto correct. Well, I mean, auto correct has even grown to just being part of the AI slot machine that AI just says, well, why even auto correct? I'll just tell you the entire sentence I think you want here.

Yeah, or by and large, understanding what auto correct or auto suggestion is does give you a leg up to understanding what LLMs are. And if more people understood the former, then maybe there would be not quite as much hysteria around the latter. So I'm giving the Simpsons a half point. on the predicted scale of partial credit also here was one change in the script that I noted but the Budhead Memorial Auditorium that's as funny as like hey Beavs and Butthead's hot right now

and the kids got to name the auditorium though in the original script it was making fun of Chevy Chase the line was the former Chevy Chase Auditorium because when the Chevy Chase show was on for six glorious weeks that the Earl Carroll Theater where it was was called the Chevy Chase Theater

and it had the ignomidity of being renamed back to the Earl Carroll Theater pretty soon after the show got canceled. Oh, so they predicted the Trump Kennedy Center too. I guess so, you're right. Wow. Unfortunately, that content mill has shut down so you can't feed it anymore.

So this is where the kids are, a bar to say by the bell, the kids are being given their academic alerts, which I didn't have anything like this at my Florida or Arkansas schools. We did have like quarterly like just honorifics like it was like called together everybody. I remember this in like sixth grade of like most approved student, you know, perfect attendance, those kind of awards, only positives, not these academic alerts of negative awards.

No, that does seem pretty terrible, doesn't it? This ceremony about public shame. Yeah. Yeah, I wonder. Well, also, yes, do your kids come home with things for the YouTube? sign from school like this? You know what? This is the truth. I feel like I am so much

less clued into what the hell is going on in my kids' class than I thought my parents were when I was a kid. I don't know if it's because like I feel like I'm undiagnosed ADHD. Am I a self-centered asshole?

I don't know what it is. But if my kids' teachers came up to me in public and said hi, I'd say who the fuck are you. I don't know I don't know who they are. I don't know what they're doing. I don't know. I just trust my kids to do their shit. They seem to be doing it.

So I think that's great. But, you know, we'll go for extracurriculars and stuff like that. But I'm not going to see what kid hasn't missed a day of school and gotten everybody else sick in the last 14 years. You know what I mean? I'm not doing that. And a quick clip here, but it is one of the classic Ralphisms, one of the most beloved Ralph Wigginn's lines. All right. First, Academic Alert.

Wiggum, Ralph. No, no, Ralph, this means you're failing English. Me fail English? That's impossible. My mom said that all the time. That's impossible. Me. It's going to be in your message board signature for like a couple years in 1997. Yep, the line that launched a million bootleg t-shirts. I think what makes it extra funny to me is like Ralph is like off model here. Like his shirt is the wrong color. He's kind of drawn a little bigger.

and just the use Bob Anderson, the director of the episode and his team, did so good with like, there's so many like down angles on like a child being judged by an adult that I think it puts you in the head of the kids in here, including is the way Ralph so innocently just looks up at Skinner from reading his letter about failing English. Yeah, and you see his really ramshackle drawn in hair like it's it's like one piece of hair at a time. It's really funny. Just like Bart, not meant to see this character from above. We don't know how the hair works.

And they call up Nelson. He is getting bad grades and everything, but Holmack, which he has to downplay for his cred, which even he does like a little like, he does a nervous, ha-ha. And then Lisa has called up before Bart is,

and grades is all I have. What can I be failing? I'm smart and a teacher's pet. And this is where Lisa finds out she's failing, Jim. And just when she throws the paper and it goes like less than a foot, I like that it could have just been all the kids laughing,

but the silence makes it so much funny here. And we get that faraway shot of just the entire crowd looking at her, the singular character on stage. It's great. Move over, Gretzky. Knock it down. Go for the face. There's a new hockey superstar, Lisa Simpson.

Wow. I have the tiger's mouth of a teamster. And the only thing between her and the championship is Bart. I love Bart. You wait, I love Lisa. Not a brand new Simpsons, part of a full hour next. Whether you're obeying an academic alert or not, welcome to the break. This is Henry Gilbert here saying thanks for listening this week.

And a big thank you to our first time guest this week, Jesse Farrar from the Go Off Kings and your Kickstarter sucks podcasts. He's such a funny dude and it was awesome to chat with him about hockey and parenting and all that stuff. If you're not following him on Blue Sky or on those podcasts, Golf Kings and your Kickstarter sucks, you're missing out. So please check those out. Thanks again, Jesse. We'd love to have you back.

As well, a big thank you to our listeners at patreon.com slash talking Simpsons. You may or may not know that this is a fully listener-supported podcast, and me and Bob do this is our full-time jobs. Thanks to the support of listeners like you. $5 a month gets you tons of bonuses on top of supporting us. You get each month a new episode of Talking Futurama and Talk King of the Hill, where we cover Futurama and King of the Hill, just like we do The Simpsons, super in-depth. In a new episode every month, we've been doing them.

for over 100 episodes each. And that's just the most recent stuff. We've also covered every episode of The Critic, every episode of Mission Hill, and many episodes of Batman the animated series, and a bunch of cool interviews with Simpsons creators that are all exclusive to our $5 and up patrons. Sign up today and see what you're missing out on at patreon.com

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Sign up today. You're missing out. Once more, that's at patreon. slash talking Simpsons. Now there was a good joke in the original script where instead Lisa goes like, what did I fail in? It's a hard time cut to them at the table and she says, Jim!

And then Bart says, I still didn't understand why you didn't just read it this morning in the auditorium. That's good. You know what? That's kind of a family guy joke. Yeah, hey, Family Guy does those jokes because they stole it from the Simpsons. Family guy predicted that joke. Oh no, other way around.

Simpsons predicted the family guy would make that show. That's pretty meta in a way that the Simpsons doesn't really get a lot. Although I think with watching this episode, a lot of what I found funny about it was maybe the unintentional metaness of it, which like I was saying, of course, the simplistic art from this time period, right? And like I think you talk about character models. Maybe you guys could correct me on this one. Towards the end, I do think you see Young Marge in the audience seated next to current.

Marge. Is that true? Did you see that? Oh, I must have missed this. I know we get a lot of front-facing Simpsons in this episode just because there's so many hockey scenes of characters like charging down the ice towards the camera, so that might have thrown you off too. And they move in a way that distorts you can't really tell like, okay, is that an existing character? Is that just like a generic guy or something? It's good.

And Homer looks fatter and goofier in this one too. He signs over these academic alerts. Well, Marge, it's a great joke about double standards at home, where Lisa is held to such a high standard for one. And then Bart gets a gift for not forging Homer's signature on seemingly hundreds of academic arts. More subjects than he would have, you would think. And I love Homer's like when Lisa asks rightly about like, hey, you're holding Bart to a different standard than me.

Ah, the mysteries of life. That's all. Like, would that work with one child or the other was coming to you with unfairness? we do talk about fairness a lot and fairness is not when everybody gets the same thing it's where everybody gets what they need that is fairness in our house so yeah i think it's probably just about as good as saying the mysteries of life probably and this is where we get the introduction of the hockey ideas bart says he needs a new pair of hockey skates which uh those those can't be cheap right on homer salary i feel like hockey is probably one of the more expensive sports to play

out of all of them i think i've heard that in thing you'd hear on npr or in our or something about like the unspoken classism of hockey is that like to play hockey versus say soccer or even baseball you need to invest a whole lot more in equipment just to do the game that's true and i mean that came up when the thing you said earlier about the hockey team in cash patel and why does it seem like so many of the members of team USA hockey are these chud like guys or at least permissive of chud like guys and that's because probably they came from rich families and they had thousands and thousands of dollars to waste every single year on travel teams and big pads and skates and sticks and everything and yeah it's it is sort of a self-selection for that sport

yeah i guess in canada because of socialized medicine we all save money we can all play hockey which is why all canadian hockey players are wholesome like tim horton don't look up how he died don't look up how he died donuts are great this in the script is where we learn the original names of the two teams i think they're funnier in this as pigs and the gougers In the original script, Bart is actually playing for Mr. Burns' nuclear mutant flesh eaters is the name of the team. Meanwhile, Apu's team is called the Quickie Mart Mighty Sacred Cows, which I'm glad they changed the cowagers. I guess the Mighty Ducks, a new team, very hot. Oh, yeah, that's right.

They were so big that, like, they just became a real hockey team after being popular children's films. I think it was all planned from the beginning. We're going to have this popular movie, launch a sports team. Yeah. That's insidious of Disney, and I wouldn't expect that from them. No. It's, well, hey, you guys do realize that the Simpsons is a Disney product now, right? What?

I just don't want you bite in the hand that feeds you a little bit. I'm hearing this for the first time. I thought it was weird. This speaks to, like, they're telling a story in 20-some-odd minutes. All of us, it just were dropped into the idea that there are these two hockey teams that exist. They're going to play on these two hockey teams. Why is Apu involved? And that's how entertainment.

It was, right? Like, at first it was Mr. Burns. Like, get him out of it. Let's just do something else. Like, it's completely, I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. It feels like it's not a bottle episode, but it feels like a bottle episode in the sense that it dispenses with those conventions a little bit.

Yeah, I guess this is like sitcom reality in which, like, this hidden town that Lisa has cannot exist afterwards. But I guess they're just making decisions based on what would be funnier. And I guess Wakeham doesn't need to be one of the coaches, but given how corrupt he is and how he's going to bet against his own team. and just the line readings he can do in that voice, that's funny. And same with Apu. Like, why would Apu be, I mean, Apu at this point has no children? Why would he be coaching a little league hockey team?

But he's out there doing it, and he's very funny in this role. I don't know why. Yeah. This is where then Lisa tries to find a way to get extra credit from the little scene gym teacher, coach Pommel Horst. Though this is like a slightly different design for her. And I'll say in the first draft, they smartly cut some not-so-great-great-joke. about the coaches intersects.

I'm glad they cut to those, including saying, instead of that line about I just inhaled my favorite whistle this morning, which I like, it says, I'm late for a very important urologist appointment, is the line. Okay, that whistle line seemed to be ADR,

so I was wondering what it covered up. So, yeah, ugly stereotypes about female gym teachers. Good move, changing that one, I would say. Do you think they took that out because they felt like it was insensitive, or do you think they just thought the whistle thing was false? Like, what's the mindset of Simpsons writers at this time period?

I think Macaraining was shooting down a lot of potentially offensive content. Some snuck through, obviously. The standards were different, but he was known as PC Matt a lot of the time and would cut out a lot of jokes that honestly makes the show a lot more timeless today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like that an example Bob and Meeno is how they wanted to do a joke that would make fun of a disabled person. And he at least made them change it to be no.

but it has to specifically be the elephant man that this person walks in with, not just a disabled person. Don't do that. They said, you know, and living color is on, they can make a fun of disabled people all night. This is not our job.

They've got it covered. So Lisa tries out for two teams, and this is where the joke of the volleyball being impaled on Lisa's hair is such a good visual gag about like, what is the reality of Simpson's hair? And for the first time,

we see that Lisa's hair is so pointy, It can, like, hit her head and not hurt her and impale it instantly, and it loses all its air. That's such a good joke. Yeah, I was going to say that it's got to be the first example of their hair doing something like that. I feel like maybe Maggie does some stuff like that later, but I'm struggling to remember how it doesn't come up very often, obviously. Well, because, like, they're just supposed to be read in cartoon way of, like, well, yes, this is representative of just blonde hair. Like, or Bart having a buzz cut. not, but this like takes us.

No, Lisa has eight hair points and they are sharp. And they only have one volleyball. So Lisa has ruined the entire year of volleyball for all the girls. And then we get a sad scene of Lisa even being like scared. She's actually, it's nice to have like a moment of childhood emotion here. Just like, this is really scary. Yeah, that's what I don't like about the Simpsons. Too much emotion.

There's too much real shit. I like, when you told me about this, episode, I was like, oh, Lisa episode. It's like a Meg episode. But it's not. It's not, I don't think. But that's, I mean, Lisa is different than Meg. But I got to say, what I do think about,

what I do think is funny about family guys, that it endlessly punishes Meg for absolutely no reason. I do think that's cruel and funny. But Lisa, okay, she's a dork and we're all mad at Lisa for a minute, but that's the heart of the Simpsons, I think. Well, I guess Lisa is always doomed to come

in second place. Yes. And to never win, to constantly learn the same lesson over and over. Yeah. It was funny when we just recently covered for charity. Find it on our Patreon now. But we covered the Simpsons Family Guy crossover. And the plot of Meg and Lisa in the crossover was Meg, like, Lisa just pities Meg and wants to help her. She's like, or Meg will just say a joke that is a normal Meg joke.

And Lisa will go like, oh, my God. Like, you need help. Yeah, I think Meg makes a joke about cutting herself or something like that in the episode. Or hurting animals. At least is like, well, I can't do that. And this is where Bart is getting more preferential treatment. But at what cost as Bart is given a warning before the game? Mom, this is really scary.

I'm going to get my first F ever. Cheer up. So you're not good at sports. It's a very small part of life. Sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports. Mart, Bart rides up in the front seat today because he's He's a good guy at sports. I think Lisa needs to feel a little special tonight.

How about letting her ride up front, too? I tried. Okay, son. Just remember to have fun out there today. And if you lose, I'll kill you. Ha! Dad! It's part.

It's for ulterior motives, but at least Homer has the stamina to keep bringing parts to games and practice. I never played a lot of extracurricular sports because my parents were just tired after work. They didn't want to take me to things and do things on the weekend. They wanted to have their own time. I was fine with that. It does take a lot out of you to do the extra stuff for sure. There's not enough hours in the day.

It's definitely a part-time job when they get into, especially the competitive stuff, you know. But yeah, the whole family's along for this. Of course, like you say, the coach is there, which, you know, shouldn't he be on the force that day? or shouldn't Apu will be opening the store or whatever. Wigam has an entire huge jail to run, apparently. Right. I also love the posing of Marge happily smiling as she sits in the back seat so only Bart can sit in the front with her.

It's very funny posing. Yeah, because you could seat two kids on the bench seat of the front of a car, which seems completely insane by today's standards. Well, I guess, too, it's certainly unsafe that Marge has Maggie on her, like, on her lap in the back seat with her, right? That's not where a baby should sit in a car, I'm assuming. That seems wrong to me too, yes. Also that just the sports sports, sports like it.

Sports is a huge part of American life. Now that everything is gambling, it's also a big part of sports too now is just, every sport is just gambling now as well. Yep. And they predicted that too. Yes, they had an episode about keeping gambling secret of like, oh, we have to, well, everybody gambles on it, but we got to keep it a secret. Now gambling is every sport all of the time. Yeah, hearing Wiggum say that he had, it's Wiggum who says he had money on the game, right? Hearing him say that does make me think of our YKS producer, producer,

Dan, who sometimes I'll get on and he'll be like, I've got to get these NASCAR bets in or I got to get these Euroleague bets in right now. I'm just like, there's got to be some, there's got to be some limit to this and there's not. Well, I mean, and there's the prop of bets within those. like it's not just like who gets the tip off who gets like there's a million ways to gamble. As I learned from uncut gems, that was mainly how I learned all the different ways you can gamble on one game. So they get to the game and this is where we see the Apu's team of the gougers. And yes, also credit to the designers of the episode,

the parody of the Mighty Ducks duck mask as a pig mask for the mighty, for the pigs of Wiggum's team. I love that design. I'd wear that on a t-shirt. Yet to be merchandised. They're missing an opportunity. Though, actually, you know, I say I'd wear that on a t-shirt, but it does. It looks, well, I hopefully would insult a cop and not make people think I like cops by my shirt. Oh, that's tough. Yeah, you got to make it clear what side drone. Yeah, I think people learn very early you can't wear a parody MAGA hat. It doesn't work.

Oh, no. It just reads as a MAGA hat. That's the drum that we've been beating on YKS for a million years because they always think they're going to get you with the red hat and the white lettering that says, fuck Trump. But you kind of, you do kind of lose the game at that point, don't you? I think one thing we could be missing

is that Homer's behavior can be explained by the fact that he is constantly drunk because at all of these games and practices he is drinking the 44 ounce big lush concession drink, which I assume is just full of beer. That's a very good point.

Yeah, you're right. This is Homer. Homer is worse in this episode by being an alcoholic. Yeah. I think, by season 16, The joke to say, Homer is an alcoholic who will not change at all.

But in season six, it's a little slightly quieter of just visual signs that he's, he's drinking 44 ounces of beer in one sitting at a game. That's probably pretty expensive at the game, too. At a kid's hockey game, I'm about to go to a Mariners game tonight. Tonight, I'm looking forward to one $12 hard cider problem. What is, what's their concession gimmick? Do you know? It feels like most baseball teams have a gimmick of some kind.

Well, honestly, like we were looking at. like, oh, do they have any special food for tonight? They have too much special food. And they also have, like, tons of different stalls from different local eateries. Now, you have to explain, Henry, why are you going? What are they giving away at this event? It is a jersey for the anime and manga series One Piece. I knew it.

Yeah. This was no... Are you going to stay for the game or no? Yes, yes, yes. This was no innocent sports game. It was an anime promotion. I like going to baseball games perfectly fine. My husband will only go to one year with me,

if it has the one with the best anime giveaway. I better see you wearing that jersey on camera. I'll wear it to the next one. I have a Mariners hat that is not related to any other properties. It's just a Mariners hat. I was like, it's got to be like some kind of video game thing. Yes, well, they had a Hello Kitty night for like the second. It was just opening day.

And then the next game was Hello Kitty Night and you had a Hello Kitty pillow. And we were like, well, that's kind of interesting, but we want the one piece jersey. We're getting the one piece jersey. We also went to Filipino Heritage Night on my husband's background. That was fun. Okay, okay. I will say a t-shirt you get for free at a sports game, it's got to be high quality.

The gimmick food, though, they have their version of like, well, you're going to buy French fries, but what type of fries? They come in a box that is shaped like the ferry that takes cars across the Seattle sound. So it's like, I thought it was going to be like, yeah, these are Monkey D. Luffy fries, 10 bucks. You know, they don't have any themed food to one piece this time, though.

It's too bad. Damn. They did Pinoi Pride Night. They had tons of Filipino-themed foods or like chicharones, and there was so much good stuff. Pickfaces. Now it's easier than ever to go to a baseball game. The train finally just opened up to take me from the Bellevue side of Lake Washington to the actual city of Seattle, much easier.

I saw that. My buddy was sending me a picture this morning of him taking the train. He's like, look, it's going to be here in two minutes. Oh, now it's down to one minute. He's so excited about the train making it accessible. Plus, it's easier to carry all your anime swag back from the game to your house. Yes. I never dreamed.

Sorry, local pride thing here. The two line has been worked on, like I just moved here three years ago. And I heard of them working on this like in 2019, but they've been working on since 2008. And every time I was like, it was always six months away every time I look into it and then it get delayed. The fact that it actually opened this weekend at the end of March, I was like, it feels impossible. to be. But you've got to be mad, though, that they're doing the millionaire tax thing, too. That's probably got to put a damper on the whole thing for you.

We didn't think of the poor millionaires in this. It is too bad, I know. And it's going to damage all these small businesses and is a small business owner in Seattle, too. So that's me taking it as well. And everybody, that was Train Talk. Green talk. Okay, no more. Well, you don't want to talk about the Skytrain really quick?

Oh, I love the SkyTrain. I'm a big Millennium Line fan. I don't know about you guys. Canada Line, it's all right. I'm just waiting for those mark five cars, man. I don't know. I got to get on them. They're pretty nice.

Not as many seats as you'd expect, but it's more about the standing room, I think. Right, right, right. So the hockey game begins. And Bob Anderson, by the way, said the director of the episode, he is not a hockey guy. And this was, like, a learning experience for him to animate hockey to make it. But I think they do a good job.

I think it's, it does look like they pulled from just like a bunch of famous hockey movies, especially maybe like slap shots, I'd say, for, for instance. Yeah, the hockey action in it. There's stuff in it. They crash on the boards. They fall into the net. There's hooking penalty called or tripping penalty called. I guess the one thing that's a little bit weird is,

I don't remember if it's Bart who comes from behind and grabs the puck from Jimbo or vice versa. I think it's Bart coming up on Jimbo and grabbing it, right? That doesn't look like anything. But everything else is pretty good, hockey wise. And Bart is really good at the game. Also, I think he was aiming at Millhouse with that one. Like, when he hits that puck and smash his Millhouse, like, he was going for that. Mike Scully said on the commentary that this whole tying up a kid in the goal area was a thing a coach he knew of did just to get kids over their fear of the puck.

He would torture them. That jives with what I understand about youth sports, at least from this time period. Yeah, I can remember feeling very put on by my coaches at this time. I mean, being a hockey goalie looks terrifying to me. Like, even in a kids game where you can't imagine they're hitting the puck half as hard. It's like even an adult can, but still. It's so terrifying that one goalie became a famous murderer. We've seen him a lot in these movies.

Isn't it a great design on Millhouse's version of that? Like the Millhouse-shaped face mask? Yes. The glasses on the outside of the mask. Very funny. Yeah, he needs to be tied up, but yes, he's lifted off of the ground, which, you know what? I feel like that's Apu wants to blame Millhouse, but really he ties Milhouse up too high to get, he can't get the stick down to block it.

He leaves the five hole wide open, yep. See, you know more. We wouldn't have said that, me and Bob. You wouldn't have said five hole? I call it the millhouse gap. Him blowing on the puck was, I thought that was very funny too. And so, yes, Bart wins, and he learns a valuable lesson. And as does Lisa in her next clip.

Oh, yes, we won. We won. We won. Unfortunately, since I bet on the other team, We won't be gone for pizza. Well, boy, you won. So I'm gonna live up to my side of the agreement. Here's your turtle, alive and well.

Oh, thanks, Dad. How about some adulation from my little sister? Wow, Bart, I'm so impressed you were able to give Millhouse a concussion. Well, you're just jealous because you, acting sports. What a day? Oh, you know, I wonder if her skills will transfer over to the game of hockey. Well, only one way to be sure. Heads up, little girl!

The goalie of my dreams. Try a hard one to make sure it wasn't a fluke. Yeah, that's it, Millhouse. Keep up the chatter. I love that scene now. This first time it really hit me. This is a great parody of those sports movies where it's like, boy, if this person is good at that, Can they be good at boxing or whatever, these transferable skills?

And so when Apu sees this, he decides he is going to, with almost no warning, shoot the puck at Lisa with no protective gear on as hard as he can to test it out. Like, that is an insane thing to do. Also, he must be really good at hockey his own self. No wonder he's the coach. Yeah, this interest in hockey has not come up again, believe it or not. That's true. That's a way to bring Apu back.

Give him a new voice actor, an appropriate one. he is now the hockey guy. All the jokes are about hockey and not about being Indian or running a convenience store. Not to show my ass. Is Apu gone? Yes. Quietly, he has been removed from the show. There was no farewell to Apu episode, but I'm not even sure if they draw him into like the background or anything like that.

But he has not spoken on the show for a while now. Damn. I feel like he'll be spotted every now and then in the background. But even then, that is extremely rare. Just like how I've been on Cookie Kwan watch lately too, who, uh, Also, has not been recast But doesn't speak anymore either The character, the Asian American character

Cookie Kwan Okay, yeah, I remember Cookie Kwan, that's tough I have a date, so Apu has not spoken In close to a decade, his last spoken line Was on an episode that aired in October of 2017 Right after that, the problem with A Pooh documentary That released earlier in the year. So does that mean they've not gone to the Quiky Mart also?

You know what? They didn't even like slide in a new owner of the Quicky Mart so now there are no more Quicky Mart jokes at all. I mean maybe there's a possibility that a scene took place in the Quicky Mart for some reason but I feel like there's no reason if you're going to avoid a poo entirely. Yeah.

I mean wow no Quickey Mart that cuts out all the like the hot dog jokes you want to make the squishy that's where we get our squishies isn't it? That's where they basically bought all of their groceries for 29 years which is why they're so poor I think that makes sense. Yeah the kids

I guess the kids not out at the local gas station or the 7-Elevens of the world these days? I guess this society has atomized and spread out and become more isolated. Maybe that's not quite the hub it once was. I just know where I live, what have been a convenience store is now with Smoke Shop? And there are so many of those. So maybe that's a way to bring up Whoback. It could be the Smoke Shop proprietor.

That's interesting. Yeah. Maybe with like some with like a particular type of hat. and some dreads also he could come back. Let's mix it up. I don't know if. I'm not sure if Zario would do the voice for that or what? We'll have to see.

Kids aren't going to Quikimarts anymore because they're too busy standing in line for their loboos. I see. We're going to do, let's do a 23 and me on Hank and see who he's allowed to voice. And then we can figure out the character from there. If I remember his WTF, one thing I always liked on the WTF with Mark Maren would ask. One, are you Jewish? And if so, what type of Jewish person are you in your back? He would always ask the background.

And I remember Azaria talking about how he is Jewish, but also the Azaria name, it is like an Italian Mediterranean-ish background. So there's a little under the umbrella he can do. It's not just old Jewish man that he can do. Yeah, he still allowed to play Luigi. Yeah, I think so. Not to make this all about the Simpsons getting canceled, but has bumblebee man also not returned in a decade?

Oh, he had a big episode recently. and he was voiced by, I believe, the Spanish language Homer voice. Is that true? We talked about it on one of our episodes. The actor's name, I don't know I've opted off my head, but yes, the Mexican-American voice actor for the Latin American dub of the Simpsons for almost all of the Simpsons. He does Homer, and they hired him to do Bumblebee Man in a recent episode in English to do Bumblebee Man, which was, that was a cool move, I think.

That is cool. So, of course, you guys already talked about the fact that he is shown sitting next to Consuela in the crossover episode with Family Guy then. Yes. Yes. I'm sure you covered that in great detail. That was long before Bubblebee Man was recast. Yes. Sure, sure.

Man, I wonder when the last time Consuela had a line on Family Guy. I wonder. You know, I feel like they're not shying away quite as hard as the Simpsons did, although, of course, Cleveland was recast. Yeah, like Dr. Hibbert, Carl, Lou, like they, their voices also have been recast.

Like, so it happens, but yes. Apu, a silent character these days. Would that be the guy, would that be the character that you would have said goodbye? If you had to pick one at that time period, are you saying goodbye Apu? Not even just on the basis of is it okay if someone does this voice, but more just like, I think we've seen enough. Like, we probably are tapped out on Apu, right? Yeah, I think in terms of the amount, like, the jokes you could do with Apu, we might

have just had our fill, which is why like Homer doesn't really do anything at the nuclear power plant anymore or that often. Just like, we've done all of those. We don't know where else to go with this. Yeah, it's not a workplace comedy as much. Ten years ago, it would have been nice to just have like a farewell to Apu episode where they could put it to bed. But, I mean, the Simpsons did some Simpsons producers did not have the best reaction at first to hearing about the problem with Apu. They did not like hearing that criticism.

And so I think they adjusted to it better over time. But 10 years ago, and maybe they could have done it, I think their response could have been better. back. You know who I'd say goodbye to? What's the criminal? Is it Snake? I think I'm done with Snake. In this episode, Snake even has, not always, he sometimes is given the Manson X, the Charlie

Manson X on his head, which he has here. Yeah. Yeah. No, you know, okay, we comb the hair. We get it. You know, it's fine. So Lisa is recruited to the team. And they say, I think it was Merkin who came up with the, it's not in the original script.

Merkin came up with the idea that Lisa is good at blocking things because she's bullied by her brother, which I think is a clever. Clever move. It makes sense. We come back from the commercial and it's another of my favorite homer lines of like if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't. It's a girl should stick to

girls' sports like hot oil wrestling, boxy boxing, and such and such. He can't think of a third example for the rule of threes of, because he doesn't care about female sports at all either. This is before female sports became so important only to attack trans people, obviously. People who care about female sports don't actually care.

They just want to attack trans people, duh. But otherwise. Yeah, another miss from the Simpsons as far as predictions goes. They didn't think that men would care, evil men like Homer would care about women's sports as to attack trans people. They were wrong. But also I just love how he just like, the Bible taught us nothing else. Like that's he learned it from the Bible that women are not supposed to play.

How to discriminate. Meanwhile, Martin's on the other side where theoretically she supports the, you know, the equality of a woman playing it. But it's such a violent game. Look at Millhouse's teeth, which she's just holding on those teeth and keeps showing it to him. It's so great. Yeah. She really keeps the teeth for a while. This is where we get the first, I think this is the first time Lisa imagines herself as president, right?

It could be. I think so. She's had other future fantasies About winning the Nobel Peace Prize Things like that All her awards that Bart has to polish Yeah But this time she's the president

Elect which that taught me that term as a kid Though of course now This joke about like Things in the background of a president Being disqualifying Obviously it's very funny now We all love this now But

I wonder if Toho was pissed About this unlicensed use of Godzilla, Gamera And Mothra They're notoriously litigious well and there's their i spotted a rodan in there too oh rodent okay yeah yeah the teradactal one but yeah i think it's like a gamera plus godzilla to me and but montra yeah i think toho well also in like in a treehouse a few years after this they say they just used the godzilla sound effect without even asking they just used it wow which uh yes as bob said toho is a very litigious japanese company on that stuff

I mean, the cut to Monster Island, a perfect joke, it being more of a peninsula. Like, it's just a name. Great. I love every second of this sequence. That feels like the third of three classic things from this episode. The first one being the impossible one. And then the second one being the, wait, did we already go past it where their arms and the legs are going at each other? And it's your fault if you get it.

That's coming up. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Well, this cutaway is like, this is the type of stuff that inspired family guy. this kind of cut away like this to them. Well, but who could say, really? Then we come out of the fantasy and Marge still will not give back

Millhouse's teeth, just lying to I love the look at that doctor standing next to Millhouse is like, okay, I'm here to get him too. Like, I need to, I'm here to back you up. Yeah, a lot isn't said by the presence of that doctor, I just like how he has no lines, he's just the authority figure there to get the teeth back.

I think it means that Marge said no the first time and then Millhouse had to bring the doctor this time. in the hope it would work. Then we cut to the locker room, and this is a part where Homer is almost a good parent who's like trying to watch out for his daughter who's on this team to make sure she isn't bullied.

But even then, Homer can only hold out for so long before he's a bad man. In this case where his, him warning them not to bully Lisa is interrupted by his own need to bully a little fat boy. In this case, Uder is a relatively new character still at this time. Last scene and I think Lisa's rival because

he ate his Charlie and the Chocolate Factory diorama before anyone could see it. That's right. He was full of... The joke there was that he was full of chocolate. I begged to let me go first. Is he always the chocolate guy from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Or is he, at some point, does he get his own

kind of gimmick? Well, this season, they kill him briefly. He's abandoned on a field trip and beaten to death by adults. And then he comes back. That's true. Yeah. Oh, and also in the Halloween episode, he's turned into Oudabrotten. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

I remember that being particularly off-putting, yeah. But yes, don't make me run. I'm full of chocolate. That is to talk about PC MacRaining on the commentary, he goes like, oh, that joke made me sad. Like, he didn't like it was a bullying joke. He didn't like it. In the script, they actually do have one more bit of why,

that explains why it was the Quickey Mart out of all places, because they were going to try to hook it into being like, it's a corporate team sponsored by the Quickey Mart. So it brings in like corporate sponsorship things. And I think Mike Scully was being hopeful here. He in the first draft has Wayne Gretzky appear and teach the kids how to play because he's a spokesperson for the Quiky Mart. So I think it was him calling his shot as like, maybe we could get Wayne Gretzky as a guest on the episode.

And it fell through at some point off screen. Yeah, maybe a little bit of explanation as to what's going to. on. Maybe it would have detracted from it because we're just thrown right into the storyline of their playing hockey and that's just the way it is. Yeah, I guess I wasn't thinking of that. All of the local sports teams I played on as a kid were all named after businesses. Like the baseball team was called like something heating and plumbing and we were all wearing the shirts. So that was part of the scam, free advertisement. Yeah. That's a fine line between having that be the team name and then having a billboard in the practice facility, I guess.

But yeah. Well, also there's ads. It's more visible in some other scenes, but the ads all around the hockey, rink too at the kids games for like Mo's Bar and Laramie cigarettes is also a great bit about like how they advertise at games and yes that Lisa so we lost a potential Wayne Gretzky

here I think it's good this is a mark of Lesser Simpson's episodes where especially in the last 20 years of episodes it seems like they say oh this episode is about this subject who's a famous person who's in that area and we can ask them to be in the show

they passed up on any famous hockey players. Maybe if this had been like a year later when Fox was really advertising the NHL on Fox, maybe they would have like wasted valuable like minutes on famous people. Yeah, or maybe when they did the glow puck, that could have shown up in this too. And they could have been playing with a glow puck. That would have been a lot of fun. Is that is, what is this glow puck thing? I'm sorry. You're going to have to. There was a time on broadcast of the NHL where they highlighted the puck digitally like you'll see. You'll see. Like on football, the line is digital on the first downline, that kind of thing.

And hockey fans hated it because they said we didn't, we know where the puck is at all times, whereas they were trying to appeal to casual people like us who are like, where's the fucking puck at? Yeah, I think I might have seen that. But also, whenever I see a hockey game on TV at a bar, all of the ads on the ice and around the rink are fake. They're put there, I guess, in like not post processing, but current processing. They're just projected onto the image. That's right. Yeah.

they give the illusion almost sometimes of the sign like physically changing like rolling over almost but yeah it's after the fact but then I think in arena you will see physical signs so it's not it's not like they have chroma key on all the signs there right like it's some other technology that that would be interesting to find out see it when I go to like American football games rarely but I have been to a few it can be confusing without those graphics in real life like I do lose

track of things that's why baseball favorite One, it's turn-based. It's just, okay, pitch, hits. I know how to keep track of things. Like, it's much easier. Yeah, yeah, so, but you're really there for, like, the trigon plushy and stuff, too, right? So that's, isn't that why you went to the Super Bowl? It feels better to watch a home run if I'm hugging Vash Stampede.

I'm sorry, all we have left are Pikachu Enema bags. I passed up Mario Hat Night. There was Mario Hat Night. I was like, by own too many Mario Hats, to be honest. Wait, was it Capi? No. It was just a baseball hat shaped like Mario. It wasn't.

I wish it was happy. Believe me. That's a different story. Yeah. So we get a little bit of Lisa's actual playing as she is deflecting things, but is screaming the entire time as Homer and Bart laugh at her, which Homer tries to clarify that it's with her, not at her. You have to not laugh at your children, right?

That's got to be a hard thing to control sometimes. You don't want to do it where they can see, certainly. They tend to get pretty judgy about that. My one-year-old is impossible not to laugh at, though. That's just, if you fall down, I will laugh. And then I'll say, are you okay? But we are going to get a giggle first. And meanwhile, Marge, she has a great, by blocking the net, I really think you helped your team.

Supportive. Supportive. She's just on autopilot. I also, if you're like, Lisa tries to give Homer and out of, like, can this just be a fatherly gesture of love as he invites her to the front seat and passes over Bart? and he says he lies and then easily goes like competitive violence that's why you're here

there's another deleted bit that could have also been two guest stars Lisa learns hockey from putting on a Troy McClure Instructional VHS in the original script I can't believe we lost that too bad this is a Troy McClure free episode and you know it knowing that there is a

firm end date on Troy McClure appearances it makes me wish he was in like twice as many episodes as he's in it's unfortunate we do get the first appearance of Apu's apartment, though. Oh, you're right. This is his cool bachelor pad when they go there, isn't it?

It is nice. Oh, also on the Troy McClure VHS, it was another attempt they had to write in Richard Dean Anderson into the show, aka McGiver, for a McGiver joke about, he's on the hockey instructional VHS saying that he has a black guy, and then Troy Declure says, oh, playing hockey, huh? And he's like, yeah.

And then it cuts away to show that Selma punched him in the face because he refused to let her touch him. It wouldn't be until like 2006 or 2007 that he actually be on the show. It took that long. Not as McGiver, but playing into the McGiver love. And what, he was there to promote the Stargate show he was on, right? I think so. That show ran for a very long time.

Much longer than McGiver. Oh, yeah. You know, if you wanted more Troy McClure stuff, they could probably just do with AI. Off only, we hope. We hope someday. I mean, I think if they do it, I should get a Simpsons prediction point. It's the only way we're getting house guest two with Phil Hartman in it. He'll probably still do it.

Well, though, he's had some health problems too, though. He'll probably bring to AI assistance, unfortunately. So we get a quick montage of Lisa becoming more and more bloodthirsty. We go to Bart attending the party at Apu's apartment where everybody agrees it's only because of Lisa. I would guess having a good goalie is probably a big difference maker in a hockey game. guess. Star goalies can win a game, right? That theoretically makes sense. Yeah, she's standing on her head. Yeah, that's a huge component to the point that at the end of the game, when things are desperate, you pull the goalie. That's when you have no more hope left,

basically. So that's where that delightful aphorism comes from for having unprotected sex. It's called a bullet. Wow, I am unfamiliar with this one, man. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot out there. You just got to know where to look. They need to get that metaphor into the next season of heated rivalry. I think there's a reason they won't but I'll look more into it. I think somebody's going to be pulling the goalie and it's going to mean something else entirely. Maybe that's right.

I mean jerking him off is what I'm saying. This is also where there's a great, this is so like Bob, we've talked about it so many times. David Merkin loves to do an eff you to the audience and waste their time. They proceeded this with a montage that actually works like a comedy montage

of Lisa getting slowly better at playing a sport. and so they follow it up instantly with another montage that tricks you into it's doing the same. And it's all based on very funny kid logic. I have the clip of Bart tries to keep up with Lisa. Hey, Bart, if Lisa's better than you at hockey, does that mean you're going to become better than her at school? Maybe I will, Millhouse. Maybe I will. Who can tell me the capital of Spain?

Bart Simpson. A square root of 36? Bart Simpson. Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson? Bart Simpson? Bart Simpson? Bart Simpson, will you stop raising your hand?

You haven't had one right answer all day. Sorry. This is for wasting teachers' valuable time. It's a lucky coincidence. You happen to be your sister's brother. Don't worry, Bart. They won't bother you anymore. I hardly ever let Mother fight for me.

anymore. Sorry, Bart. I'm going to hang out with Lisa for protection and to be seen. I love Pamela Hayden's delivery on and to be seen. We learned a little more

about Nelson's very rigid honor code that Bart violated. Oh, you're right. This is right after the Bart's girlfriend episode for besmirching a girl's honor. He punches Bart. Yeah. I also love how he puts it as teacher's valuable time.

Maybe it's because I'm a great great statement. Maybe it's because I've been just in rooms where hockey's been playing lately, but I think this is the first time I read Lisa's attack on Jimbo as a real hockey move, pulling the jersey up over their head so you can wail on them. Oh yeah, I do, yes.

Man, did I see, I went to a hockey game definitely for the first time a few years after this with the Lizard Kings in Jacksonville, a minor league hockey team. But I think I learned that from Happy Gilmore, which I watched many a time in my youth. The price is wrong bitch, yes, of course.

Which, you know what, he needed to punch him more as we learn new facts about Bob Barker lately. Yes, maybe again with AI, we bring him back. We start roughing him up, you know? I say dig him up. Yeah, yeah. Dig him up. Get those, Bob.

YouTube special. We just take wax at him with a baseball bat. Oh, yeah, hack the bone, maybe, eh, boys. But yes, him just raising his hand over and over again. You think that Bart is, it's cut in a way that you think Bart is getting the right answer every time. But he's not. And then also that he is. punished by the teacher like, I think

that's very much the David Merkin feeling of like, oh, trying is stupid because Bart trying only gets him more embarrassed in class by his teacher for saying you haven't had a right answer once all day. Merkin points us out on the commentary. All of these teachers are just standing back and pointing and laughing at Bart after

they watch him be horribly beaten. Yeah. A lot of this episode is adults just laughing at the humiliation of children. I mean, that posing on Bart, both arms held back and like, Nelson is just wheeling on him. It is harsh what's happening to Bart in this episode.

They do laugh at adults too when Hans Molman. Is he Hans Mulman at this point in the series or is that later? Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, yeah. Okay. When he does fall down in front of everyone, there is a really targeted point and laugh at him too. So everybody gets it in this episode. So Bart is trying to get some solace at home with his dad,

but he doesn't even want to watch cops with him. He doesn't want to watch copaganda with him. And this was barely accurate at the time. Two days before this episode aired on Fox on Saturday night, from 8 to 9 was two episodes of Cops, followed by an hour of America's Most Wanted, which isn't not cops. Yeah, in some ways I think America's Most Wanted is worse.

When I traveled to Vancouver recently, I was staying in one of these little guest suite things. So I didn't have my beloved Apple TV. I didn't have access to my Plex server. I couldn't watch whatever I wanted. Just watching what was it. ever on the free Roku channels that are on TV or the free Samsung channels it was. And there is one channel that is like, I think it's called Jail TV and you see episodes of jail

and cops. I didn't see America's Most Wanted. I could deal with cops and I could even deal with jail a little bit. I think of America's Most Wanted came on. I think I would have to change it. I don't know if it's just because of the host maybe or something about it, I don't like as much. Yeah, I guess there's a renewal that is currently ongoing and has just been renewed. So I didn't know this came back in 2020 or 2021 actually. Yes. Yeah, it was because like, you know, there were for some reason in 2014 and 2020, there was a real turn against cop shows on TV. I forget why, but there was more talk publicly about copaganda and cop shows like that and why they're gross. And so cops in 2020 did get canceled around the time people were protesting the police. And a year later, yeah,

there was a move of like, fine, we're going to bring cops. back. Like, I learned about it, too, and there's a very good documentary on the phenomenon and gross aspects of To Catch a Predator, the Dateline series. In it, they talked to Chris Hansen, and they even talked to cops in that special who say, like, yeah, it is kind of fucked up that we just, like, he interviews these guys and they aren't talking to lawyers, but these things will be used against them in court. Like, even these cops thought it was gross. Yeah. But that show got canceled, and Chris Hansen had to take his thing to use. YouTube to keep doing it because

Yes. And plus there's also a lot of Chris Hanson imitators who are even more dangerous than him as far as doing illegal things. Those things are all super nasty and I think it's it's also one of those ones that if you look at it, it's like

the success to the extent that you want to call it a success that they would then capture jail, prosecute, and convict those guys. It's like zero percent. The rate of conviction is like lower than the rate of suicide. on those as well, which is kind of like, I mean, geez, it's almost not fun to watch the show anymore after you think about that. It's not a cheery afternoon watching that documentary predators, but it was eye opening of like, it has so many clips from how they promoted that show 20 years ago that I had honestly mostly forgot about that like, oh, it's so funny.

It's like it was, it was being sold as entertainment. Not real journalism, yes. Yeah. But yes, cops, though, you can probably watch a five-hour marathon of cops right now. Well, that's all cable channels. It's just marathons of one show is cable channels now in general. The MTV guy who I guess his show is not on there anymore, right? Oh, the Robin Big Show.

Is that the one? No, Ridiculousness. That was the one. Ridiculousness, right? Didn't it recently stop being the only TV show? Oh, because MTV's gone now, right? Was that an urban legend? MTV UK is gone.

I think MTV, but ridiculousness did get canceled. I'm looking at the current schedule of MTV. And currently right now, they're playing. like 48 hours of the show Caught in the Act, Unfaithful. What? What is that? Some kind of cheating based show, I'm guessing. And hey, tomorrow,

there's a lot more of that, but then ridiculousness starts and you can calm down. Okay, sure. Okay, all right. The world keeps on spinning, I guess. Also, Homer and Lisa are going out for gelato, which was, I guess, the hip new thing in L.A. back then. I did not know what gelato was until I was, like,

in my 20s. I assume it was some kind of, like, Indian food thing, because it's always associated with a poo. Yeah, I think I only learned of it in Oates when I moved to Berkeley, and there were at Berkeley, California, dedicated gelato places in like 07 or so, yeah. Which it was just ice cream, but I got to feel fancy. It's not, whoa, whoa, whoa, hang on, hang on, hang on, hold on a second. Henry, your refined palate has just betrayed you, I think.

No, it's fine, it's not just, I mean, it's ice cream. It is ice cream. It's not, come on. I watch yourself, counselor. That's not ice cream. The butter ratios are the fat, the air whipped into it, is totally different ratios. These are all set by, of course, our wonderful U.S. government and the FDA. These things are locked in place.

You have to observe the laws when it comes with this stuff. I'm surprised you would be flouting this. I'm in trouble now. Man. So this is where Marge tries to befriend Barton this. For another, this I think, also became a famous. I've seen memes of this scene here. I told you to watch it.

out. I don't know. Her saying Harvey Globe-Trotter instead of Harlem Lillop Trotter is pretty good too. And hey, new on the scene, Jolato and Shaquille O'Neal. Yeah, he was... His NBA debut game was almost exactly two years before this episode aired. So he was starting to make a name for himself. And by now he probably owns 200 gelato stands. So that's just kind of a cool way that, you know, history is just fun. He owns every business. I just saw he he deviling owns an AI business because I was seeing him.

posting generated images of him with Marilyn Monroe. I saw that. That's always the go-to. I was just going to say that's either so funny or sexy or cool, depending on what he was going for. I'm totally in favor of all of it, obviously. Shack is the real life Krusty the Clown. Like he puts his name on everything, all products. Yeah. Wow, he really is. Didn't the doughboys do the, there is the crappy restaurant, but there was also some Shaq gummies also. Yeah, they're Shaq's head as a fruit-flavored gummies. I know Podcast the Ride covered something called Shaq Toberfest, which was a Halloween event that was all Shaquille O'Neal themed. And it had his Shaquille O'Neal seal of approval, like the crusty seal of approval.

Yes. He was a big part of like the relaunch of Papa Johns after the Papa was fired for being a racist. They're like, hey, here's Shaq. He likes Papa Johns. Forget why this place is called. I thought they should just change the name to Papa Shacks, but I don't think he wanted to invest in it. I can see why he might not, yeah. He disarmed the Papa John's name and once again.

And he can finally enjoy average pizza. Still, it's absolute shit, but at least a racist isn't selling it to you. I'm finally not ashamed to go get it every week anymore. You know, there was a while where I would go get it every week and I'd be ashamed of it. But now I feel like it doesn't matter. I can do whatever I want again. You can drink those little cups of garlic butter with pride. Yep.

I can say all kinds of words when I'm doing it too. I don't know if you guys have seen. You can say all kinds of words now. then there's another perfect line in the show where after the hack the bone bit Homer it's the opening line that I use think of all the time I wasted on you it's one of the meanest things Homer's ever said to Bartz he cannot find a way to wriggle out of that he's like I'm not wasted I love you wasted this was my favorite bit at Vulture Fest when they played that clip

Mike Scully said I based that line on my own father but I had to make up the I Love You part at the end. Yeah, one of Mike Scully's funniest tweets is something he tweeted after he got his dad cremated, and he posted, now who won't amount to anything. They also cut a joke for the first draft that could have changed everything for Mo's character because it implied that he is from Morocco. That is where Mo was from. The joke was going to be that he left Morocco because he lost his business.

in an arm wrestling match to a woman. He's like, oh, women, women beating boys. It's just like in Morocco. So Rocket Mole got cut. Yeah. This was the final straw for Bart being told he'll never amount to just all the time wasted on him. And so he approaches Lisa. And this, I love the shot of Bart's like laying in Lisa's bed waiting for her angry.

And then he had a little pang of sadness on his face too when he hears she's getting extra hugs. So this is where a beautiful moment. finally happens in the show after the decapitation of Mr. Honey Bunny. Just get out of here. Hey, it's a free country. You get out. That doesn't make sense. I know you are, but what am I? Get out, get out!

Okay. But on my way, I'm going to be doing this. If you get hit, it's your own fault. Okay, then I'm going to start kicking air like this. And if any part of you should fill that air, It's your own fault. I better go check that out. Now, Homer, don't you eat this pie?

Okay. All right, pie, I'm just going to do this. And if you get eaten, it's your own fault. Oh! Oh! What the hell with that? Love every part of that. forgot about the pie part. It's a great joke

of three. How does each character use this kid logic to their advantage? And I like the kid logic part of it because if you have a sister or brother, growing up, you're trying to find ways to attack them without being legally culpable. It's sort of like, does this bug you? I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you, that sort of thing. So I like how they're trying to, like,

legally get away with striking each other. Yes. And also, they deny you the impact. You just hear it off screen. That's a folly, yeah, of kids like tussling upstairs. I also love Marge briefly becomes like a character in like a three stooges cartoon

Now don't you eat this pie Homer banging his head on the hood of the stove Look and Dan Castellanat is amazing Screams of pain And the Foley It just feels so much more painful than I don't know like getting hit And it with a hammer or something

It's just this little Very intimate moment of pain that's relatable Well it's because it's both metal And sharpie it's the corner of it So you're thinking I mean, if you ever hit your head on the, I mean, the corner cabinet, that's bad enough. But a big honking piece of metal, I'm sure he was feeling that. But boy, that pie looked good.

Realistically, he should be dripping blood from his forehead into the pie as he's eating in. Whoa, do they ever show blood in this show? Sometimes. It happens with Homer. Yes, yeah. Boy, that Simpson's family guy crossover, he bleeds quite a lot. Yeah. That one.

That's for sure. Oh, wow. I don't know. I was in my mind, it's like a Mortal Kombat thing where it's like, if it's on the Simpsons, it's green. There's no blood spurning out. Oh, I guess, itgy and scratchy is pretty bloody. Oh, yes, right. Marge comes in, tells them to stop doing this.

And it's also really great because it's like Homer missed his cue, because she says you're not in direct competition with each other. Repeat, you are not in competition with each other. And then Homer comes in to say, hey, I just learned you're going to be in competition with each other. You're in direct competition. And the strobe effect going into the commercial break. Well, on fight, fight, fight.

That's also great, like, which, I would think as a parent, Jesse, you would not want to encourage your kids to fight by flicking the lights on and off. That did strike me because when I was a kid, the lights turning on and off in school was that was a signal to be silent. But I guess it's contextual, isn't it? If that drives you into a blind rage, then I guess I can see why for them it did piss them off. No, you don't want the kids to fight. And my two oldest are girls, so to the extent that they fight, it's genuinely not all that physical. It's more like, you know, give me the shirt or whatever.

I try to stay out of it. You know, they're doing their own thing. Best to let him figure it out for themselves. They know what they're doing. Yeah, yeah, they got it. So we come back for the commercial break. Wiggum wants a full crowd for the big game, which he does get, you know what?

He can't get any promises from these criminals, but they do show up to the game. So you know what? It paid off for Wiggum. I mean, compared to later substance, this whole angle seems unnecessary because Springfield does not need a reason to riot. You do not need to fill the stadium with prisoners

in order to form a riot. They just are naturally inclined to riot. So I guess this does set up why everyone is so violent at the end. Snake could just be there on his own, like even in this season, and then we wouldn't really question it. But instead, he's there because he says like, no, I'll take that as a yes. Just let them all out. Then we see that Abe, meanwhile, stinks of gin and obsession for men.

They smell the same, apparently. Still being manufactured. If you want to smell like an 80s executive, you can go on Amazon and buy yourself $100, bottle of obsession for men. I'm sure you can find a dupe, too. You don't have to find a real thing. Designer Imposter fragrances?

Yeah. Does that brand still exist? I remember those commercials going like, you can't copyright a fragrance. That's what they would say in them. Oh, wow. Oh, that's a specific brand. I didn't know that.

Just in general, I thought generics. There was something called designer imposter. Yeah, I think that was one of the most famous brands of generic fragrances. It would say smells like blank on the can of it. Kind of dispensing with the fiction. That I feel like most generics do. But I'll also say, don't wear a cologne. You don't need to do that.

Not a cologne? I just don't like smelling it in public anymore. We're now getting into the idea of like fragrance-free spaces and I'm like kind of way into that because when I sit down next to somebody, it's like, oh, this lady's got a lot of grandma perfume on and I don't want to be part of this cloud. Sure, sure. Scented lotion, okay? I think depending on how much you're using, sure.

But the idea of like the cologne bath, I think that should have died in the 90s, I think. Yeah, we've gotten away from it to be sure. I like having a fragrant shampoo and having, definitely that I can smell like the deodorant I put on, but I am not a cologne person either, though, either. You do like to know that you did something in the shower. You do like to have that sort of, you know, that refreshment, but also the reminder, like, yeah, okay, I wasn't just screwing around. I did my business. I did what I was supposed to do.

Well, I should also say, if Old Spice has any new bath body washes that smell like any piece of fruit, I'm always ready to try that new one. It's been revealed that Batman is on Henry's body wash. What is it, Dark Night Cherry or something? It was Black Cherry of the Dark Night, yes. Though, that's my current favorite flavor or scent. Why am I calling you flavor? I don't eat it.

I mean, it looks good, but don't eat it. Though also, Bob, I'll give you a new one that I've been trying out. I like it. The Luigi scent for the new Mario Galaxy film. It's a vanilla desert. I see. So are there just bees chasing you when you go outside? Well, unfortunately, we've been killing all the beads.

Okay. As the salt taught us. We then cut to home. It's a kitchen table issue. Homer has to dodge the ketchup. Instead ends up with mustard, which he's eating salad here. Come on, he needs to. But he still puts it on it.

I like that, too. Like, he doesn't not eat it. And this is where we get another great appearance from old Mo. Good. That ketchup. I'll have to do better than that tonight. Whoa. I ask for ketchup.

I'm eating salad here. I won't have any aggressive condiment passing in this house. Hello. Oh, what are you doing here? What? What? A bartender can't come by and say hi to his best customer? Hey, hey you there, Midge. Oh, gee, I like what you've done of your hair. You caught me at a real bad time, Mo.

I hope you understand. I'm too tense to pretend I like you. And how are the little kids doing? I mean, really, how are they doing? Abling injuries, something say that the gambling community might not yet know about. Come here, let me see those knees. Mo, I think you should leave. But, Blanche, you got to help me out here. Please, I'm $64,000 in the hole.

They're going to take my dogs. And of course, Mo is referencing the famous movie, the Pope of Greenwich Village, something that we all reference every day. Oh, yes. Yeah, here. Let's listen to Eric Roberts saying the famous line. Charlie, they took my phone. Who there?

Oh, who did? So much. Holy, what happened? The bad fuck took my thumb, man. No. Yes, Charlie, or sorry, whatever Eric Roberts' character's name is, he was the victim of mob justice, and he got his left thumb chopped off.

But I think people just liked imitating Eric Roberts in that scene, which is why that line stuck around for a while. But it's one of these movies like Midnight Express that, I guess, was referenced up until a certain point in history, and now everyone has forgotten about it. Yeah, he's got, like, I guess, an Italian-ish accent. he's putting on there. That's not how Eric Roberts normally talks. I think he's got like a simpleton accent. He's like,

they took my thumbs, Charlie. That's true. It hurts so much. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. It's more of a duh, duh. Yeah. In Simpson's parlance. No, I've never seen Pope of Greenwichville's either. Jesse.

Would not have recognized that as a movie title or any, I flew right over me. And also, this is the second time he's called her Midge, that Moe is called it. Though Blanche, I think, is a new one for him. Yeah, I expected Midge, but Blanche kind of that jumped out of nowhere at me. That was a surprise.

I also love to like, I hope you understand, I'm too tense to pretend to like you. That's another great, great line. And so this is where I'm just going to list all three of the huge changes right now. The entire last act of the game is entirely different in the script.

And I'll just, I'll say it all now. One, Lisa, gets an A in gym class before the big game. Like the teacher says, oh, you've already done enough. I give you an A. You don't have to play on the team anymore. So Lisa quits the team before the big game. Then the question is, Lisa then sees the game televised and they're losing to BART.

And then she decides to go at the halftime. Or wait, no, hockey games are in quarters. No, thirds, right? It's thirds. Yeah, periods. Yeah. She goes in between periods and rejoins the game and ties it up. up to then get into the final penalty shot moment that comes in the episode.

And I'll say what's different there later. But so this entire bit here, like, Lisa quits the team and has to, like, rejoin the team at an important moment later. It seems a little too complicated, I think. It's too long of a script, honestly. Yeah. Like, yeah, yeah. It does give closure to the reason that she's doing it in the first place, which is kind of

dispensed with immediately, which is that she's joining a third party, like an outside. extracurricular team in order to improve her grade, which is just the scaffolding for the idea. It doesn't really... And of course, that doesn't make any sense either, really. So maybe you don't have to have closure on it. But yeah, we never go back and find out about if it worked or if the... How would you even know? Is it a permission slip?

Like anything. Yeah, we're not on the edge of our seat thinking, will Lisa pass gym class? The stakes get a lot bigger than that. Well, also, it wouldn't be a classic Simpsons episode if they didn't completely forget what the first act plot was. by the end of the episode. True. Also, it's good they cut that bit because she goes back to her gym teacher, and there's more transphobic jokes in there.

Okay, good. Glad that wasn't there. So this is where we get to the start of the game, and we get to hear Homer try to suss out a favorite and Krusty Honors America. Now that we're all alone, Marge. Admit it, you like Lisa Beth. No.

Oh, so you're a part woman, are you? No. Well, you can't possibly like Maggie Best. What has she ever done? Nothing for nobody. Homer, we can't root for one child over the other. You wouldn't like it if the kids played favorites with us. Hey, Mom! Look at me, Mom!

Hi, kids! And now to Honor America, here's Rusty the Clown. Oh, say, can you see? La la la la la light. What's so proudly we're... Shouldn't have turned down those cue cards. And that is not being... on a specific incident, but over time, people have continually screwed up singing the national anthem.

Most recently, five days ago, Hamilton star Christopher Jackson totally screwed up a line of the anthem at the Mets opening game. I believe the line was or the ramparts we watch. So I think the issue is we get tripped up on these lyrics from 1814. No one is writing songs about ramparts anymore. Actually, I have a little news clip. Oh, okay. All goes fine until the singer gets to the Who's Broad Stripes and Bright Stars line when fans realize something. was missing. Who's broad stripes and bright stars through the pair of so proud. Yep, Christopher forgot the or the ramparts we watched and instead repeated his earlier line.

However, the Broadway star, who is definitely used to live performances and adjusting on the fly, quickly regrouped and finished the anthem without any more hiccups. And this man was George Washington in Hamilton. I know. You should know this. You know what? I think he did a pretty good job despite freezing up on the spot right there. That was, you know, he didn't just go like, ah, shit.

You know, that was pretty redeemable. It wasn't as bad as, you know, Roseanne. Krusty just gave up. Yeah, he's no Krusty, is he? Boy, those poor Mets, though, a bad start to the Mets season there. He recovers. I've always said, too, that, like, America the Beautiful should just replace that. That's a better anthem than the Star-Spangled banner.

It's more modern. It's a bit easier song to remember. Unfortunately, many events just play that Lee Greenwood song, and I think a lot of people think that is our national anthem. Oh, God. I'm gladly stand up. David Cross had a great joke about that. The guys would sing that at games during the Iraq War and obviously not stand up next to you and Defenders still today by enlisting. Ah, yeah, that's pretty cool.

We got a lot of cool songs about America, huh? Mostly about killing people and how it's good. Yeah, yeah, those are some of the best songs. Oh, God, that Lee Greenwood one, man. See, this is why America the Beautiful. That's nice. You can imagine Ray Charles singing it much better than Lee Greenwood. This is where the game begins, and it's a lot of action here,

of just Bart shoots at Lisa and shoots the puck. And it gets it past her and actually scores. Homer then chooses him. Him is the one he loves the most. Then she stops the shot. Then he loves Lisa the most. And then Marsh Bottom of Beer, I love you. Which I guess that also plays into the alcoholic strain you were talking about, Bob.

Yeah. And the crowd is getting fired up by all these acts of violence. So, like, Lisa is tackled. The crowd cheers. Bart is smashed against the glass. The crowd cheers. Jesse pointed this out earlier. Hans Mulman falls down the stairs. Everyone like cheers and points at him. So they're just happy to see any kind of violence. Like Moleman said, he never gets up, but he says, we paid to see blood. This is something that I feel like has completely disappeared from the social consciousness

and understanding about hockey as a sport. Yes, there are fights in hockey, and yes, people get excited when they happen. But I truly don't think of it as the violent sport, if only because football has spent, you know, the better part of its existence officially denying that you can receive brain trauma from playing in even the most anodyne way. It's weird to see the almost pearl clutching nature. But like you were saying earlier where Lisa's like, I don't want to get in the front seat if it's because of glorifying violence or whatever. And I'm like, well, because you were skating around. It almost seems it's quaint by today's standards.

On a scale of like how many more injuries are there in hockey or less compared to American football? You know, like, I did, I remember the few hockey games I've been to like their fights happen. Like the guys, they throw the gloves off and get to swim. Yeah. Yeah, you lose your teeth in hockey for sure. A lot of those guys have the fake teeth. You know, it's like wrestling. They'll have the cauliflower ear sometimes from the helmets and stuff like that.

So it's more visually violent in that. way, but it just seems not funny, it's horrible, but it seems funny in retrospect to think about like well, a football player just gets tapped like this 4,000 times a game and that's worse than like going full speed into the wall for a second, even though

that makes a fucking really cool sound when it happens. Doing some really cursory research, it seems like players in the NFL are injured on almost like double the basis that NHL players are injured. And that doesn't really talk about CTEs, but it's just like, what are all the injuries? Well, NFL players get injured twice as much. Yeah, injure.

If you just take injury timeouts as the standard, right? I mean, there's twice as many guys on the field for football play as there is for a hockey, you know, possession. So, yeah, that makes sense. Well, and football players also like, they have shorter seasons, fewer games. They're paid less because of that. They have a longer off season and shorter careers. It only makes sense when you're in the mutant league. I keep saying this.

Then it does make a lot of sense. Have you kept up with that series? It shortly ended after it began. There was a cartoon at some point, and that's it. There's a somewhat, well, we've played it on stream. Really? There's a Mutant League football. I think there's a Mutant League football, too, maybe that I, that can't be that old. They did Mutant League football as well, never baseball.

These are like 93, 94. That was the era in which the Mutant League thrived. It was sort of like the XFL. What were we playing then? It's a lot of fun. I really like playing it, whatever it is. I think there was, there was an attempt like a decade ago or more to try to relaunch it, but as Mutant Football League, not Mutant League football.

That's what it is. Yes. Yes, that's what it is. They were able to, by transposing the two words, it becomes their own trademark title that EA can't own somehow. This one is really fun because they do like a Tales from the Crip thing where the referees like interstitially come up between plays and they crack wise. The players do or whatever. They say something, you know, both grim and funny and all of the names are taken from real rosters. but they're like in the same way the Treehouse of Horror Simpsons writers are Halloweenified these are monsterified mutinified

and it's a fun ass game they kind of have fight fatalities too capitations people exploding but they're mutants so they're fine yeah everything's fine and what I remember around this time because it was also featured in the film Swingers

but there was one at least one Genesis regular NHL game where you could fight somebody and make them bleed in the fight because that's like the scene in Swingers it happens there Was it Blitz? Blitz had a lot of action like that.

You know, I only play the NFL Blitz games. I did not play NHL Blitz. Yeah, yeah, I think that might be it. And so this is where all the violence is happening. Even Marge gets into it because once she sees, not when Bart gets slammed against the wall, but when Jimbo trips Bart's as a penalty, like that's when Barge demands vengeance.

It's great to hear that in Marge's voice. That's the only reason she's given that line. and so the penalty shot is called in our second to last clip here I want Jimbo Jones called for tripping a penalty shot will be taken by Bart Simpson Oh my god March A penalty shot with only four seconds left

It's your child versus mine The winner will be showered with praise The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore Kill her boy, kill her Stop up dead little girl I love that little bit there at the end of like that you can tell they are saying one is saying kill comma Bart and the other is kill Bart. That is a joke I misread for a very long time because I never really hear the kill Bart versus kill Bart. So I thought the joke was for, I don't know, 20 years.

Suddenly and arbitrarily both sides of the stadium hate Bart. There are no fans of Bart in the stadium. But we know that is not the case. It's just a clever bit of a clever wordplay. but Margin Homer are in on it too aren't they even Maggie is as well very strange you actually you know Jesse now I

you mentioned you're one year old too you basically have like the Simpson family now you have like two you know school age kids and then a Maggie equivalent as well I do yeah and also you know family guy as well but uh baby evil and gay

he hasn't said yet what he's going to be but you know we're excited to find out I'm Homer's age, right? He's 26 like me. So that's tracks as well. Yeah. Homer, I guess, 39 pretty much most of the time, right, Bob? Like, they never made it. I think at this point he's probably like between 36 and 38. And then he's officially 39, not too long after this forever, locked in. Yeah. In this episode, I'd say he's more like 37. Yeah. Yeah. That's the dream to be locked in at 39 for sure. This is where the penalty shot is going to begin. And so here was the last bit that's different in the original script. none of the sweet stuff happens. Bart simply distracts Lisa and gets the winning goal and his team wins. And he gets to go to a theme park.

And then Lisa, meanwhile, gets sad that she didn't show up earlier. Mike Scully wrote like kind of a Schindler's List parody of her going like, oh, if I'd have come here earlier, I could have saved another goal. I could have said, like it becomes the ending of Schindler's list. Very strange. I guess instead he kind of does a successful James L. Brooks imitation with this montage of flashbacks, which it's very schmaltzy and I think it's very sweet. But then they earn it with the violence that follows and how no adult learns a lesson that the kids actually learn. Yes. Yeah. I think that they're able to have a sweet cutaway of like, oh, adorable kid stuff only because no one else learns that lesson and it's just fiery violence happening in the background of it all.

I kind of like the alternate, the original ending, a little bit better. It feels like it's more in character. It's not quite so sickeningly sweet at the end. Something tells me, though, Matt Graney might have shut down their Schindler's List parody. I can see not wanting to do that part. Maybe we could do it without the Schindler's List parody. Can we see a version of it without that? I might like it better.

You know, in the original ending, it would stick with the idea that Lisa always loses, which does not happen here. That's true. Yeah, yeah. But I do like the crowd being, yeah, forced to go insane because they didn't get a resolution. That's funny, too. And Mike Scully admits on the commentary and in the oral history from last year, all of his friends made fun of him for it. When you're in a penalty shot, the clock is stopped.

It can't go down. It wouldn't end the game. And all his hockey friends are like, that's how you ended at a thing that can't happen in a game? Yeah, I guess I just To me it just read as it like It was getting waved off Because he wasn't taking the shot So that's it

I mean And also the hockey rules around penalty shots Have changed so many times Since this episode came out It's like I don't know Maybe that is what happened And yes it's a great This was Merkin explained it

Very well his writing beliefs That he says At the Vulture Fest He wanted to take the sweet sitcom ending And then shit on it And that show that While you can personally evolve and change, the world won't, and that's okay. That's how he put it at Vulture Fest.

That is a worldview, for sure. And as it happens here, we have a sweet ending, and then I think even just mocking what the audience at home might be saying, everybody calls it a rip-off of an ending. Great game, Lee. Great game, Bart. I've never been so proud. They're both losers. Losers!

Rip off! We paid for blood. I've scared this place apart. Good idea! These kids are like so sweet. If only they had had pee-wee hockey when I was alive. Oh, well. I've always loved how just brutally snake goes at those seats with his crowbar.

Oh, man, he's pulling into it, isn't he? Yeah. I love how. that it's Wiggum of all characters he says, let's tear this place apart. God, I like this ending also that they go into a fiery riot once again, though you know what? The animators,

they're asked to do quite a lot of riots, and they smartly reused some of the brawling that they had already done for Barts and her child, for that big riot. Makes sense. I mean, they're having to draw a lot of hockey players moving around, a lot of crowd scenes. There's a lot going on. And Merkin also tells a story of that.

They won an unnamed conservative media award for this episode. And he was invited to this event for it because he's like, what the hell? Like he, but he wanted to go. And then when they played this ending, they cut out the riot. And only the happy ending, the parted Lisa. And when he went up to accept his award, he tore into them for censoring his episode and was a jerk, which sounded very funny. I wish that was filmed and could be found online.

He didn't name them. He should have named them. Sounds kind of ungrateful, doesn't it? Yeah, he ate the free meal, and then he, well, he didn't expect them to edit his work, though, in his defense. Mm-mm-mm. You know, death of the artist, once it's out there, you've got to let it go. And if a conservative media outlet decides to change it up to make it more palatable to those freaks, you just got to sit there and take it with your big fancy award. I don't know. Also, that snake almost learns a lesson, but then goes back to violence, too. Yeah. See, that's why I don't like this sneak guy. Bad guy.

He's always shooting people, too. He's always doing bad stuff. And a great original closing theme for the episode. I guess I wrote down and called it Zamboni music, but I don't think that's what you should. Zamboni is not an instrument, but it's the music played as the Zamboni cleans things. Like stadium organ music. Okay, yeah.

A great outro on the episode, but yeah, I still really love this one in that it's Homer. Homer is the worst he's ever been in the, the show in this episode. A cruel father who says that he wasted time on people and he's maybe is beating Bart off screen in between trying to kill his turtle. And I like that it shows how like empty the company. I think Merkin really pulled off showing his hate for competitive sports. And in general, just his hate for the American sports mentality in general. And I approve. I approve. Even though you're going to a baseball game tonight, it's giving hypocrite a little bit.

I'm leaving it at the seventh in the shirt. We know. We already know. I'm leaving it at the seventh inning stretch to be traffic. That's right. What are you going to take the train? Yeah, yeah, but man, those trains get crowded. They get crowded.

Do they? Okay. That's why when I would take the train to the formerly Oakland Athletic games as well, it's quite a crowded train to get home from that. But you'll be on a train. Yeah, I assume, well-groomed and bathed anime fans. Yes. I hope there's a Luffy mascot outfit there, too.

picture with, if I'll cross my fingers. Wow. I hope there is, too. Well, they let somebody in like that? I had to get, like, dental surgery last year when they had this. I couldn't go to it. It was like the day I had a tooth removed was the day they did it last year. So that's also why we're going this year because I had to miss it last year. And I saw the pictures like, oh, man, they had a mask out there. It's a black day for baseball. I'm just quoting The Simpsons. I'm not being a jerk. Yes. Final thoughts, folks.

Yeah, I guess final thoughts for me. An all-time classic. I don't need to say much more. But it just, it's a great story. I love the ending. And it contains, like, as Jesse was saying, some timeless bits, like me, fail English, the, I'm going to start kicking air. I'm going to start windmilling my fists.

I'm going to start chomping towards the pie and Monster Island. And it's just a great expression of David Merckon's nihilistic worldview, which I always appreciate. I'm not going to do the thing I did. You mentioned podcast the ride earlier. I didn't make any friends of their listeners when I said I don't like theme park rides. So I'm not going to do that. I hope that it comes through that I appreciated the episode and I did think it was funny. This is what I would say. Would I love watching this on my own?

Probably not. But if my kid wanted to watch it or if I was trying to come up with something to watch with my kids, this is a 10 out of 10 kid watching experience. I'm not watching the masked singer or an anime I've never heard of. Henry, there's some animas they watch. I think you probably have never even heard of the ones they're watching. I bet, I bet. They're into some deep shit, man. So I don't know. If this came on and we could watch this before dinner, before karate class or whatever,

I think I'd be over the moon. So funnier than I remembered for sure. And if it could watch enough Simpsons, they'll start saying things like Cowabunga and we paid for blood. Yeah, their vocabulary these days is a lot less inspired by the Simpsons than mine was. That is true. Jesse, thank you for being such a great first-time guest. Please let our listeners know where to find you online. more about your Kickstarter sucks and all the other stuff you're involved with.

Well, yeah, thanks for having me. This was fun. I enjoyed revisiting a series of my youth. Your Kickstarter sucks is the podcast. I co-host and friend Mike and I ostensibly talk about Kickstarters, but, you know, this many years in, it's mostly about just our general complaints about the world. So sometimes we talk about scams and crappy tech, but for the most part, it's about how old we're getting and how much life sucks.

But that's a lot of fun. We do that. We have a Patreon for it as well where we talk about movies. so often and then gooff kings is the name of the stream i do with stephen heck who is himself a big simpsons fan he was just wearing his laramie hat the other day and always gets compliments for his simpsons again that is also not really about playing video game there's more about goofing off and watching silly videos and occasionally we'll play a game or two but yeah it's over on twitch and we have a lot of fun there so check it out yeah that's uh and i said it off mike but now we it's we have a third

in our triumvirate of American plus Vancouver equals good podcast. Golf kings, guys, and talking simpsons. It's just common sense. Though it sounds like Stefan needs to get an invite next. I think he would be a good one to get for the episodes that everyone agrees are good. And I can come back when you guys do the episodes that everybody thinks is bad. So no one will get mad at me for not liking it. Oh, there's plenty of those on our end of here.

See, since 16 invite coming your way. It's, there are misses. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks, guys. Thanks again to Jesse Ferrar. Please check out your Kickstarter sucks. As for us, though, if you want to check out more of our podcast and get all these

podcasts a week ahead of the time and add free, just go to Patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons and sign up for five bucks. And when you do, you'll get access to the podcasts that are ad free. You'll get them early. And then you'll also access over 200 bonus episodes. They're all full length, as long as this one or longer, and about shows that you love, like King of the Hill, Futurama, Mission Hill, the Critic, and Batman, the animated series. and that five bucks a month also gets you a new episode of both Talking of the Hill and Talking Futurama every month.

Again, that is at the five dollar level, an insane amount of content. I believe a nearly nine years worth of Patreon content at this point just by signing up immediately at patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons. And there is a $10 level two. You get all the $5 stuff, of course, but you also get one immense, huge, huge podcast once a month if you're on that level. What's going on with that podcast, Henry. Bob is talking about our What a Cartoon Movie Podcast. which is the premium podcast. It's really more like three extra podcasts you get each month in addition to the bonuses Bob was just talking about. For 10 bucks a month, you get to hear us talk about an animated feature film, crazy in depth with tons of history.

And last month you got to hear us talk about the live action stop motion hybrid James and the Giant Peach directed by Henry Selleck. And this month, it's April. We cover a live action movie each April. and this year we're doing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles too The Secret of the Ouse and there's a lot of fun background on that film that just turned 35 years old so check that out

and we have years and years in there hundreds of hours covering tons of Disney Warner, Jibli so much stuff in there even a bunch of crappy things like Shrek unless you're younger than us and you love Shrek then hey we cover that too

it's great anyway though however you feel it's awesome podcast that we do all exclusive if you are a patron at patreon.com slash talking simpsons. And as for me, I've been one of your host, Bob Mackey. You can find me on Blue Sky and Letterbox and many other places as Bob Servo. And my other podcast is called Retronauts.

It's a classic gaming podcast about old video games. You can find that wherever you find podcasts or go to patreon.com slash Retronaut. Sign up there to support the show and get a ton of bonus episodes there as well. And Henry, how about you? You can find me on Blue Sky and on Instagram as Talking Hempsons. I'm also H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on letterboxed. But if you're following me and Bob on social media, you should definitely be following the official account of this podcast at Talk

Simpsons Pod, which keeps you up to date whenever new stuff happens, so please follow that. And all of the previously released free podcast we've done of Talking Simpsons and our sister podcast, What a Cartoon, can be found at Talking Simpsons.com. Thank you so much for listening, everybody. We'll see you again next time as we break format and cover the first episode of American Dad, and we'll see you then. Unseasonable War?

BJ Simpson, did you mind me buying for you? Of course she did. Who else would have? All right, Simpson. You win this round.