Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Lisa Vs. Malibu Stacy

Episode Date: May 24, 2017

Simpsons gets extra feminist this week as Lisa stands up for what she believes in against her favorite doll, all while Abe goes back to work, we learn a little bit more about Smithers, Kathleen Turner steals the show, and (most importantly) MALIBU STACY GETS A NEW HAT!

this week's talking simpsons is brought to you by geek fuel and you listeners can go to geekfuel.com slash laser time and get a free bonus star wars item worth 20 bucks i heartily endorse this event or product Got it. jerks and this is the laser time podcast network's chronological exploration of the simpsons who is here with me today uh henry gilbert and there are too many leaves in your walkway and uh chris pillswiper and tista and special special guests my name's diana goodman but you can call me yes we normally have a no girls policy on our on our show i don't know what phallocentric means but no girls. That's a... I'm previewing quotes now.

We had to break our girl band for this episode. No, it has been on before. Lots of listeners will remember from the Krusty the Clown Judaism. She was our Judaism expert. I'm the token Jew, now I'm the token woman.

Women in Judaism, the only thing Diana cares about. So it's been one year, but actually two seasons of Talking Simpsons that Diana has not been gone for. Then you were there to represent all Jews. Now you're here to represent all women.

Yes, all women. So this episode is all about Lisa versus Malibu Stacy. Lisa! And today's episode aired on February 17th, 1994. And Chris will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real world history. The Modern Rock Music Chart says a bunch of M's in the title. The Winter Olympics trample home improvement in the television ratings. And Wayne Computer's HQ is sold, marking the end of the remaining relevance of Martin's

description. This song really lived on through the Weird Al parody. It really did. One of the events in which... Which is way less timeless. That's true. But one of the events in that parody he talks about will be parodied on the Simpsons episode in next year,

Bart vs. Australia. Well, also he references the things that happened in the Winter Olympics of 1994. I tried not to mention Harding and Kerrigan again. It was a very ribald Weird Al song. She cut off his wiener. I never heard things about wiener on a

Weird Al song. It's hard to get around that aspect of the story. He did call it Mr. Happy at one point, which was new terminology to me. I'd never heard that. Wayne Computers this close after we did Treehouse of Horrors. You know, the Winter Olympics killed the critic.

It didn't exactly kill the critic. It was unpopular enough on ABC. But they ran a new episode, the debutante ball episode, against the Nancy Kerrigan and Tanya Harding were performing. That episode of the critic

has the dirtiest joke I have ever heard on network television. Not the gloves. Do you want to wear whites? Yeah, except for the gloves. Wow, really? This is a teenager. They got away with it before Home Improvements. That's what they call

heavy petting back then. So this episode is an Oakley and Weinstein joint, and it is very of their personality in which there's a lot of Abe Simpson and also a lot of exploring a part of the universe that had remained unexplored until now, which is Malibu Stacy. And also highly liberal

feminist episode. That's true. I mean, the second you guys started this show, I started threatening you and thank you for not pressing charges. The letters have stopped coming so I think we're safe now. You were always reminding me that you wanted to be on this episode. I had to be on this episode because it is my favorite, hands down, no competition, don't even have to think about it.

And then I watched it again and started thinking about why. And I realized, oh, it's everything that I am. It's about being old and crotchety and being a feminist, banging your head against the system and failing. And Diana still doesn't know what smells like mustard in here. It's always me. This is one of my all-time favorite ones. I forgot how much I loved it until talking about it with Brett. I'm like, oh, you remember that amazing line?

That's in this one. Oh, that amazing line too. The thing is, every other line is a killer joke. There is no downtime in this episode. I spent more time editing the clips I took than capturing them we are 20 at 26 i i'm going to try and avoid playing all of them because this is a testament to the show the show itself like it's really funny and the only time really funny gags i didn't get were

visual which hey it's nice when a cartoon can do something visual yeah and in this episode i think it starts it's starting the trend of a completely unrelated event, and it kind of moves into the main plot in a strange way, but we do get the kind of... Pretty quickly, at least. Is this the first taste of Matlock we're getting on The Simpsons? No. Okay. Like, in Whacking Day, Grandpa says, the only thing I like is Matlock.

And he's like, oh, it's on right now. Oh, and in the Cape Fear, he also... He's like, we'll get Matlock. He'll catch the culprit. Or is that in Cape Fear? No, that's in Cape Fear. Matlock Freeway is still a glimmer in the uh cape fear the vigilante is like we'll get matlock he'll catch the culprit or is that in cape fear that's okay matlock freeway is still a glimmer in the writer's eye yes okay it it replaced the michael jackson expressway by the tweet i mean they always they disliked matlock because it was on against them on thursday night and here's the opening of the show uh welcome to the new springfield Center for Geriatric Medicine.

You know, health care for the aging is an important priority. Get to Matlock! Matlock! Well, without further ado, I give you the man who puts young people behind bars where they belong. TV's Matlock. So I didn't know that Matlock theme song would become I love it now. It's amazing.

It's like sweaty and sleazy. Yeah. The most oompa New Orleans music you've ever heard. A bit unfair to Andy Griffith. He was not this feeble. He didn't die for another 20 years. He was just great. I guess in the movie Spy Hard he was always sitting. I had a revelation that I can't remember but just that like Matlock was a phenomenon we didn't really understand that's just not for what like a how

old are you 10 it wasn't but like i don't know how to phrase the revelation well i tried to write it down that tv was young enough to where like one of its first big stars got old and the audience got old with it literally if you were born in the beginning of television that's true by the time matlock is airing you're still alive it like it's crazy like and they got to follow like that's why it was so huge there's nothing i don't think there's a show bigger than the andy griffith show i and i'm not a fan maybe maybe i love lucy i just see it it's on tv today yeah like i can i can find it right now yeah and it's black and white and for some reason it's still allowed to be on television and so like, the generation followed him into Matlock after, like, eight seasons of this incredibly successful show.

This great film career. I just saw a face in the crowd. Oh, so good. Oh, my God. It's that versus network for things that aren't satire anymore. Yeah. Oh, my God. But it's really funny how they never say Andy Griffith.

They just say Matlock. They say Matlock. Yeah. And they make him look so old. It makes me think they got a Matlock impersonator and not actually Andy Griffith. He doesn't really say anything. 20 years later, there's an Arrested Development episode

about like, we assure you, we're not making fun of Andy Griffith. We would never do that. Because he thought they were making fun of him, so he wouldn't appear on Arrested Development with his fellow Ron Howard. Yeah, but it's so sad because Andy Griffith was the

greatest ever. When he dressed up as Opie again to endorse Obama, wasn't it? It was in the video. That's right. Yeah, it was beautiful. And Ed O'Neill was playing like Al Bundy endorsing Obama. But now let's vote for McCain. I don't know that any of us have ever seen the second of this show.

What, Matlock? I've seen a few. It's difficult to describe how popular it was. It's a bit like a Perry Mason-ish show. Yeah, exactly. It's a lawyer-in-show. I like that. It's a mystery, and then it ends in court,

and then you find out who did it, and it's probably wearing a white seersucker suit all the time. He's always dressed like Tom Wolfe. I'm no big fancy lawyer. 200 episodes, multiple movies. It technically has an old people CBS universe that involves diagnosis, murder, and murder she wrote.

And Dick Van Dyke's still with us. Oh boy, I hope so. I turned 90 recently. I'm going to edit out that word. The Talking Simpsons curse. Which one? Was it Dick or Dyke? Which one did I mean? You know what? We couldn't kill Henry Kissinger.

I'm really mad at that. We joked about, like, could our curse kill Henry Kissinger? People are going to love me talking about this. Our powers are so arbitrary. I'm sorry, Gordie Howe. It's mean that he's got double canes, too. That's what I mean. So did you guys notice the return of two characters on screen behind Hibbert that I'm certain were just reused stock

bodies, but Hans and Fritz. Well, that's just John and Frank. Both of the Germans, businessmen, are sitting behind Hibbert on the dais for the opening of the new senior medical place. I missed that. Maybe they're backing that instead of the power plant

now. They have a new investment. I mean, healthcare is a booming business, baby. You make a lot of money on that. Especially on seniors. But so there they are. And then everyone tears apart Matlock in kind of a funny parody. Oh, no, but first they sing We Love You, Matlock. Oh, yeah.

As similar to the song from Bye Bye Birdie. You're right. Was it Conrad? Yeah. I Love You, Conrad. Except more geriatrically they tear him apart steal his heart medication though that that bit of gabe having his hand on his shoulder the whole time it blows it immediately like as somebody who just stares in their character

designs all the time like why is his arm on his shoulder i see it already oh i kind of i kind of forgot about that joke because it just seemed like he was wearing a coat for no reason yeah it was just to reveal that his hand was the clammy hand on his shoulder but i think so what kicks us this uh episode off is uh abe sees how old andy griffith is and he's like he's a he's a tired old freak i think that's what the quote is he's a tired old freak he's made to look so google matlock right now and look at the image search. It's just a man with gray hair. He looks fine. And so that encourages Abe to

give away his inheritance before he dies because Andy Griffith made him think of mortality. I'm glad Diane is here for this. As you may know, I might not be around much longer. So I've decided to give you your inheritance before I die. That way I can see you enjoy it.

Lisa, I know you like reading and so forth. To you, I give you my lifetime of personal correspondence. Thanks. Mr. Simpson, stop. Your constant letters are becoming a nuisance. Stop. If you do not cease, I will be forced to pursue legal action. Stop.

Signed, Boris Karloff, Hollywood, California. That's great. Okay, so why is he bothering Boris Karloff? I don't get that. It's really difficult to get the context of Boris Karloff. Even when I say it to people like you, no shit. Frankenstein. That launched his career. He had a massive career after that. And I can't tell you any more Boris Karloff's movies.

And Diana is here and maybe she can. Sure. That's what I'm saying. But he was a huge star. Did he meet Abin and Costello at any point? No, that was Glenn Strange.

Oh, okay. Glenn Strange is Frankenstein. I guess I just took that as somebody else he just bothered even before he was a crank. It's like, what is there to bother Boris Karloff about? What does he have to say? But that's what I don. It's like, why is there to, what is there to bother Boris Karloff about?

What does he have to say? But that's what I don't know, because, like, when I watch these dumb Universal Monster documentaries, he was the only one who took this as a launching pad into a legitimate, successful career, whereas everybody else kind of chased the glory of this, you know, the Cheneys and the Legoses.

I think part of what explains this is that Oakley and Weinstein are huge fans of the show before they started writing. And one of Grandpa's initial traits was writing angry letters to entities and people. Well, he's an old person. It's what they do. Yeah, but apparently he was doing this, I'm guessing, in the 40s or 50s. In comment sections.

Yeah. It's true. Only old people before had the time to write letters to people. Letters to the editor, man. It's all it is So Grandpa gives away his correspondence to Lisa and to Homer and the rest of the family a box of silver dollars but in the shot there is a collection of pipes we never hear about

so I'm guessing maybe Bart got that or something and there was a joke about Bart smoking but I'm just wondering what the joke was with the four pipes we see I do associate pipes with grandpas. My grandpa smoked a pipe Oh yeah, and he didn't live long. Yeah, they look cool. Yeah, my grandpa, well,

it was fried foods and overweightness that got my grandpa at 75. Not pipes. So the Liberty had silver dollars. I looked this up. Me too. Okay, well, let's compare our research here. All right, so, yeah,

the Liberty had silver dollars that he caught because Rockefeller threw him from a Zeppelin. That's right. There actually were not full dollars. There were half dollars. And they're now worth, depending on condition, between $10 and $900 each. And it's so stupid that they take them all and they just go spend them at face value. It's great.

He's like, I have dollars now. Each one is worth a dollar. But just the silver content melted down is worth a dollar, but just the silver content melted down is worth $19. Wow. But I still thought it was bizarre. That is our path to the episode. That's how we get to the episode. He's cashing in Grandfather's inheritance

that he gives them before he dies. Because of Matlock. They don't really buy that much with that money. It didn't seem like to be that much money. Maybe like $80 or something. So what I found out about Liberty Head silver dollars, too, is that Grandpa says these were mint. It's 1918 and mint silver dollars. Now, according to my research, 1921 was the closest year that silver dollars were minted or these Liberty Head silver dollars were minted.

Before that, they were 1904 so if we're to take this as 1921 values according to it a little over 30 on ebay for a 1921 uh silver morgan also as they're known as so if there's 60 in there then that's if there are 60 of those in there then they have thousands and thousands of dollars they could be spending but technically they are u.s currency so you can spend them anywhere at face value yes and which they choose to do but then they put on their jackets where they immediately take off to go in the car like though i like i just like that he turns to see them walking like where are you going like he's just telling his long grandpa story and then it turns into some of grandpa's greatest hits. Yeah, I mean, they're really dipping into the last exit to Springfield well with this,

but it's a good well to revisit, especially in this episode. You get some new long, meandering stories that go nowhere. Oakley and Weinstein love those stories. There's so many great lines in this. This takes them from their home to their vehicle to the... This is just... It's all literally how they get there as grandpa. Back in those days, rich men would ride around in

zeppelins, dropping coins on people. And one day, I seen J.T. Rockefeller flying by. So I run out of the house with a big washtub and, where you going? Man, we'd love to stay here and listen to your amusing

antidotes, but we have to take'd love to stay here and listen to your amusing antidotes, but we have to take these coins to the mall and spend them. Anyway, about my washtub. I just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a walking bird.

We'd always have walking birds on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings, cranberries, Injun eyes, and yam stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called

baseball. I really want to know how you make Injun eyes. I wonder. I didn't look that one up. I mean, I grew up in the Midwest eating food with somewhat racist names. Like, has anyone ever heard of Chinese pie? No. It's basically you throw everything that's a leftover into

a casserole dish and cook it because it's so wacky like Chinese. Who can make sense of that language? Oh, those crazy Chinese people. And their weird fire drills. I just love that itch in those days was called baseball. So great. And the walking bird.

I got to call Turkey walking bird for now. That was peak grandpa crankiness of just that you can have grandpa say anything. Yeah, basically. It works. That he is a machine for non sequiturs. And then we head to the toy store. Beautiful. And as a kid who owned many toys in the early 90s and late 80s i loved seeing all these really

good observational stuff about toys yeah and homer being the first old man geek out over a young kid's toy which i just always imagined i would do and guess what it's true i mean they not even to your children yeah they name that thing like sergeant thugs command outpost but it's really castle gray skull, with missiles. But those Deathbringer missiles actually explode. So that sounds like it should be a lot more if they are literally exploding missiles. And Castle Grayskull, though, that toy is not a dangerous toy.

It had no sharp corners. You were not going to hurt yourself. I rarely got any toy that I asked for, but I got that. Andor's castle had no microphone yeah nothing cool i was i was no real dungeon it was like a clamshell shelf yeah well really they were a um grim dark way of selling you barbie's doll house barbie's dream house but to boys that's really what mattel the history of he-man the short version is that Mattel was tired of only selling toys to girls. They needed something for boys.

So they make up the toughest, manliest thing ever that can still be a doll you sell to people, to boys. Castle Skull. Like, well, this isn't a toy. It's not a doll. It's an action figure. And those things are also just basically storage units. You just shove all your dolls in there and i did i did i was and i gonna say this

at some point and i say it all the time i was hugely jealous and ashamed by how much i would have rather had barbies and i got to i got to convince my sister to get rainbow bright stuff so that i could use it just because it was i wasn't a big gi joe dude i like transformers and ducktales and colorful stuff. And Barbie had the most colorful stuff and all the fun stuff. Her car was amazing. I mean, you would not believe it by how macho I am, but I did play with Barbie. My sister was Barbie's growing up.

She had this cool 70s micro Barbie bus. Yeah, you couldn't change He-Man's clothes. You had to go buy a brand new action figure. It's odd that, yep, at the table, I'm the only one that never really cared for Barbies. That's what I've got a lot of. I got hand-me-down Barbies and, you know, they're fine. Some of the outfits, whatever. But let me let me burn this clip, Diana, to introduce the crux of the episode.

I absolutely want to. I'm warning you, Mom. I may get a little crazy. I understand, honey. When I was your age, there was a horse face. Get your ugly pie hooks off that summer fun set! Look! Icky breaky Stacy for $1.99!

Live from the improv, Stacy's only 89 cents! Ew! There's one we don't hear them describe, and it's Crackpot Stacy. And she's wearing a pyramid with a conspiracy theory pyramid eye. You could see it as a crackpot, because all I could see was the hat, and I was like, I need to know why is she wearing a pyramid with an eye like a conspiracy theory pyramid eye. You could see it as a crackpot because all I could see was the hat, and I was like, I need to know why is she wearing a pyramid hat. I just saw the word crack, and I have to assume it's crackpot. Crackpot Stacy.

Boy, that's another of those secret messages hidden in The Simpsons that implies they knew 9-11 was going on. NRA forever. Can I also say that this goes down in the section of the store called Valley of the Dolls? Yes. Which is hysterical because it's a book slash movie that's all about sex and drug addiction. It's my scene, baby, and it freaks me out.

That's beyond Valley of the Dolls. No, Valley of the Dolls is sparkle, Neely, sparkle. Valley of the Dolls is my number one favorite camp classic. It's beyond the Roger Ebert one? Yes. Okay, I thought so. And that one has Charles Napier of Critic fame. He's not in the first one.

No, the first one is totally trying to be serious, and that's what makes it hilarious. But it still was a boob thing. It was still a boob thing. Yeah, I mean, as much as Roger Ebert was a film critic, he was also a breast enthusiast. You can be both. You can be both. Dianaiana you didn't have a

giant affection as a kid for the barbie uh line no not really no did you ever go wild for any toy yeah actually there were i mean there were toys that i really wanted i don't remember like full-on hulking out vincent price shrunk an apple um well i don't remember it but my mom says i really wanted a tauntaun and i have a tauntaun and i have kept that tauntaun well is those are the ones that tauntaun you can open up the stomach in them right i had that one no mine you can't open up the stomach but he's got like a flap so you can stick the figure's legs in it so it looks like they're riding they're all here yes actually that was the one i had yeah it'd yeah I just thought that stomach was meant to

open for putting characters in I look this up because I wrote it we did a laser time episode in a Jason article called what was the oldest toy in the toy island it was me waiting for my girlfriend to buy something at Target and just wandering the toy aisle for once with no iPhone to distract me to like,

wait a minute, all the same shit on shelves and stuff that was on shelves when I was a kid. What's the oldest thing here? Barbie being one of the oldest, 1959. It is always odd to looking up the history of Barbie introduced by the wife of a Mattel co-founder. You know, they've always pleaded like, why doesn't Barbie have different, come in one impossible shape, color, and hair color? It debuted in two hair colors. Both.

Oh. Both kinds of women. But it debuted with variants, like, as in not set in stone. It took it 30, 40 years to be like, no, we'll never change Barbie. It debuted as something with options. Yeah, I love the debut Barbie. I love she's got red hair, and she's got sort of side eyes. She's got kind of cat eyes.

She's not looking straight ahead and smiling. She's sort of like pouty and looking sideways like that bitch. My sister was into Barbie and I didn't have this with my dad because he didn't keep any of his shit and only like throwing baseballs. But my mother handed my sister like her like

1950s barbie set wow like they both have the same fun with it apparently you know today i found out barbie i mean like everything they do collector's editions that are sold on a website to make the most money they can off of their most hardcore people but they have expanded that into making it's like barbie exclusive barbie select of lots of other things including for the batman v superman film last year they're like here is martha barbie no it was it was superman batman and wonder woman and wow they didn't have really barbie proportions they were just very good tall dolls like that were made in a way that dc wasn't making out their other toys if you google the dumb article i wrote who's the oldest character on the toy aisle the last page like they do act like just this is new they offer like all different

kinds of barbies with different stickers that say curvy tall they don't say asian or they created a but they they exist and they're all barbie it was a push they made a few years ago to be like this is barbie's more diverse now and it was an adorable fat barbie i remember when we curvy yes she's curvy yes yeah but i also wondered if they like lisa fighting on that if that's a reference like the cabbage patch kids craze of the 80s. I'm sure they're tapping into that, yeah. Yeah, which was the last real... This was kind of ahead of the game of the 90s toy boom, which is when the dorks who grew up in the 80s then had enough disposable income and free time

to stock these shelves of Toys R Us and other stores to find the chase figures for Transformers or for the new Star Wars line, which relaunched Powers of the Force, which relaunched in 1997. This is a little before that when they weren't selling toys to non-children. But though that doesn't stop people like Waylon Smithers from buying Barbie or Stacy's. They're completely different. Oh, but before we get to that, first off, we do have a big reference, which I wonder how many people watching this now would even get that it's a reference. Thank you, Ricky Barbie.

No, Homer on the piano. Yeah, yeah. Before this. Well, for hardcore Lazer Time fans, it's referencing a scene with Robert Locha. Robert Locha. That's right. I have to get that out of the way. Robert Locha.

Homer. Yeah. They play chopsticks. Homer plays rock around the clock, except it just ruins it within three seconds. I captured the clip, and it is intentionally done so terribly. It was hard to amplify and play here, so I didn't. There's a different, for the first time ever, a squeaky voice teen voiced by Harry Shearer. Oh, he's been around before. Has he?

Well, there was Better Stop Him. Yeah, he was the manager. Hey, mister, what's in the box? Um, it's the new talking Malibu, Stacy. Malibu. Get out of here! Help! Mr. Wise!

I love when they shout for a manager. Mr. Wembley, it happened again. That is a very Oakley-Weinstein thing, too, of the specifically named manager of just a lost team. He's like, please help me, authority figure. Yeah, it's great. I mean, should we get into... Talking Barbie. So this is based on the 1992, I want to say, Teen Talk Barbie.

We can play the commercial for it. 92. It was the first time. That's the news story. It was quite a big to-do. Yeah. We can play the commercial for it. 92. It was the first time. That's the news story. It was quite a big to-do. Yeah. So this is the first time Barbie talked. I don't remember this.

And here's what happened. I think there were... I remember this news, yes. Each Barbie would say one of four different things randomized from a database of 170. Oh, my God. So every Barbie you got would have distinct... I mean, a distinct array of four catchphrases. No one was the same kind of I love

you but we're going to hear some of these and we'll have a new story about the sort of backlash which is this is based on a specific controversy I love to shop don't you I can't believe my ears I can't believe my eyes every teen's hog barbie is a different surprise

mine says wanna have a pizza party mine says you're my best friend and now she says meet me at the mall Barbie is a different surprise. Mind set. Want to have a pizza party? Mind set. You're my best friend. And now she says, meet me at the mall. Cool. What's she going to say next? Listen. Do you have a crush on anyone?

You can't believe your ears are eyes. Teen Talk Barbie. What a surprise. Deep sigh from Diana. So if we go on, so we're going to see what this episode is based on. Teen Talk Barbie, one of her 170 catchphrases, raise some eyebrows amongst feminists, and you're going to hear it. But this is based on a real

controversy. A real controversy, yeah. And there's a backlash that's in this too. It all has to do with what Barbie thinks about math class. Let's put on some music. Let's make some new friends. Most of what the new Teen Talk Barbie

says is pretty harmless, considering the source, but some of the dolls are programmed to say, and I quote, math class is tough. That has drawn fire from those who think Barbie's remark reinforces a stereotype about girls and math. There's no question that there is a stereotype that exists for young girls,

which is that math is hard, I can't do math, or science is hard, I can't do math, or science is hard, I can't do science, or it's not meant for me. I have a second grade daughter who's doing multiplication tables here in her first month of school, and the last message I want her to get is that for some reason math is any more challenging to her than any other subject that she's studying. Some, including KFAB talk show host Jerry Hudson, find the Barbie uproar laughable. I cannot imagine a girl with a potential career at NASA throwing it all away over what a doll says.

Could you get a fatter, whiter man to defend? God, he's like Jerry Falwell's fat son. Bob and I are now on a PR mailing list to get those guys. I'm like, well, if you need me to take the conservative stance on something, just talk to me. So, yeah, basically this is what happened. And I think they removed that possible catchphrase from the next line of Dahl. So now there's only 169 different catchphrases. The weed number.

The poop number. So, yeah. And later in this episode, we'll see another reference to something that happened after this. We'll get to that later. It is a stereotype. Barbie reinforces stereotypes? I'm more concerned with the overabundance of me and Bialik hats in both of those clips. They disgust me.

The thing is, though, I think that is an old stereotype we've sort of defeated because I just assume every woman is good at math and I'm not. We haven't, and I'll say that to any woman listening's benefit. There are a lot of programs. And no, my girlfriend is an engineer. She's way better at science and math and programming than I am. She may not think math is tough. I think the new stereotype is not women are bad at math. It's women are trying to destroy video games and other things I like.

Well, Diana, what's your opinion on this? Yeah, I want to hear what Diana thinks. I think it's 100% true that women, there's just sort of a stereotype that, you know, math is... Math is a boy's thing. Math is tough. And yeah, it's just too hard. And thinking too much gives you wrinkles.

And then... Because we all know women don't think a lot. Yeah, and then that's... But that's also culturally reinforced by, like, if you're the one woman in the computer science class, there's going to be a lot of there's going to be at least a couple jerky guys who are just oh yeah oh you're just here to get a husband or something yes why aren't you dating me or like or that you're put

in there by some affirmative action thing or that you didn't earn your place i was going to say because people are actively trying to fight that stereotype, if you are a woman interested in programming, there are lots of scholarships and programs to assist you and please take advantage of those. There is a movement to get more of them in STEM. For real. In the sciences because for

50 years they have been disencouraged from being interested in multiple fields of science and math studies. I also read an interesting thing recently by this woman engineer who has been outspoken about sexism in the industry but she also talks about like how when people say well why don't you if it was so bad why didn't you bring it up and she's like because you'll be asked this for the rest of your fucking life i don't believe in sexism in any industry you have to prove sexism to everybody so it's this double-edged sword

of saying, well, if there's if you don't complain, then there's no problem but if you complain, then you're making it. You're the problem. Yeah, then yes. Yeah, then you're the problem. You can't handle the you can't, you know, get out of the kitchen or go back to the kitchen or some other metaphor. We're a tough talking place, man.

Yeah, you just can't deal with the engineering bros. They're totally known to be bros't i don't want to put you in the like they're the worst talk for all women shit the barbie no we we talked about it they appointed me as the spokeswoman she's the ambassador for all women did you cringe at the barbie stuff like this when you were younger yeah yeah but i'm a tomboy so but like without even understanding the reasons why you just see that I'm like what the hell well mostly it's just like why are they so fucking happy

like I have I've had dolls for years but it's got the pull string and you know I had a count or the Morose Barbies or the Smith CDs I had the count

and he would you know counting he's wonderful this was not pull string this was genuine greeting card opening technology wow that's what it sounds like

well that's why Malibu Stacy in this episode, it still has drawstring. I'm like, things are way better than drawstring now. It's not drawstring. There are four raised buttons on Barbie's back that look like horrible wounds. It's one of those things where I feel way older than I am

because somewhere in the middle of my lifetime, my grandparents grew up with pull string talking dolls. So did I. And then it just changed and like the woody one you find the premium woody one is like totally tertiary you tug on it basically to push a button or to pull on a button but i mean like talking earnest and talking urkel they were pull string you can hold you can hold the strings and release them slower they sound sound demonic yeah that was the good observation in toy story that buzz lightyear could say more things and didn't have a drawstring in it that that was he was push button as well that's right

that's right yeah but okay back but drawstring is just it won't it won't symbolize a talking doll anymore no dolls will just talk they really really, really put Lisa with Malibu Stacy. She has Malibu Stacy maybe three other episodes. The biggest plot point until now for it was in Lisa the Greek when it was just getting Malibu Stacy toys and then putting her back in her modest shoebox at the end of the episode. Where she prints her feminist newsletter. Exactly. So she was always putting more feminist ideals on Malibu Stacey than I think Malibu Stacey was ever made to be

in that world. She gets home and hears what Malibu Stacey says, but I feel like they padded out the episode a little bit by just having more Grandpa on the drive back talking about how, what smells like mustard? There's a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. The president's a democrat.

Why didn't you get something useful like storm windows or an ice pipe organ? I'm thirsty. What smells like mustard? They all just shut down. There are a lot of ugly people in your neighborhood. Oh, look at that one. Oh, my glaucoma just got worse.

The president is a democrat. I can't unbuckle my seatbelt. Hello? I'm telling you, after we're done with this, I'm going to read you the comments on the

YouTube video I made for Capcom on their site. I'm going to read them as Grandpa. It will make all the sense in the universe. Capcom on their site. I'm going to read them as Grandpa. And it will make all the sense in the universe. This isn't Mega Man! No switch! No bye! But who's different than he is in the Jungle Book? I want an

Onimusha HD collection! This is about Disney games. You're a senile teenager. I also like that Homer bought an Easy easy bake oven for the car he's like march i bought this like can we play uh nobody likes grandpa this is this is what sets off grandpa's story where he wants to be young and find a way to you know be youthful dad i love you but you're a weird sore-headed old crank and nobody likes you. God darn it!

I guess I am an old crank. But what am I going to do about it? It's a good moment. I don't have a clip, but just that Lisa and Grandpa somehow stumbling upon the same revelation by finishing each other's sentences. Oh, that's in a little bit. But he gets a job, in other words.

Well, he is inspired to first act more young watching what were totally the commercials in the 90s of... Buzz Cola. That old people can be hip, too. And they're having sex and listening to rock music. I'm shocked there wasn't a rap in Granny in that Buzz Cola. We see the old Jewish man. He stepped up his old gray mare act.

Now he's in commercials. One sip and I'm totally hip. Got a contract with Six Flags. He's more Dracula than Jewish, I guess. Which some people think is the same thing. But the Buzz Cola destroys his tongue, too. Old people can't actually drink soda. It's probably not best for them.

Neither can you. I choose not to. My favorite sequence in the whole episode. It's great weirdly. Smith acting and great animation well acted it's well written yeah jeffrey lynch was the director i think he's the one of the best second string directors in terms of like sorry second generation he's not one of the original guys but the unnecessary animation that's added to when she throws the doll great it's like the camera move in animation and the way stacy's hair shakes yes like constantly becomes more disheveled the more the crazier Lisa gets.

Yeah, I love it. This is a great scene. A hush falls over the General Assembly as Stacy approaches the podium to deliver what will no doubt be a stirring and memorable address. I wish they taught shopping in school. Let's bake some cookies for the boys. Come on, Stacy. I've waited my whole life to hear you speak. Don't you have anything relevant to say? Don't ask

me. I'm just a girl. Right on. Say it, sister. It's not funny, Bart. Millions of girls will grow up thinking that this is the right way to act. That they can never be anything more than vacuous ninnies whose only goal is to look pretty, land a rich husband,

and spend all day on the phone with their equally vacuous friends talking about how damn terrific it is to look pretty and have a rich husband. Just what I was going to say. That's great. And they predicted the Kardashians. Holy shit.

Lisa's doll says more than four things, and they're said often on cue at the right moment. My Urkel doll, my Big Bird doll, and my Ernest doll, and my Pee Wee Herman doll all say one thing in common. I love you. Malibu Stacy doesn't seem to love any more. Malibu Stacy is such a quality toy. She has about a dozen different things she says in this episode,

all on the same toy. It's pretty versatile. Except for Lisa's friend's toy, which is true. Is it Jamie or is it somebody else? It's Celeste. We never see again. A very distinct design. I don't know why they give this character a name and why. It looks like the human version of Binky from Life in Hell.

Let's buy makeup so the boys will like us. Don't you people see anything wrong with what Malibu Stacy says? Oh, there's something wrong with what my Stacy says. My spidey sense is tingling. Anybody call for a web slinger? No, Celeste. I mean, the things she says are sexist. Lisa said a dirty word.

Welcome to my childhood. That's a very childlike reaction to just the word sex. Yeah, no, I had that. I had that feeling, too, of like, I need to explain. I need to explain something using a more adult word. And they're just like, you said it, you said butt, or whatever. What happened to Celeste is actually a reference to what a culture-jamming organization did to Teen Talk Barbie

to retaliate against the sexist things she said. I wanted to join them so bad. I read about them in the newspaper and there wasn't internet yet and I was like, how do I find you? I saw, I mean,

I saw this news story, I don't know how, but I saw this news story about them, but they're also fighting cultural, sorry, not cultural stereotypes, gender stereotypes on the other side, too. They're like, G.I. Joe sucks for men and Barbie sucks for women.

I hated G.I. Joe. We're going to swap these voice chips and bring them back to the stores. What a punk rock thing. Barbie Liberation Organization. Yeah, we have a clip. Liberation Organization targeted toy stores. Hi, I'm Teen Talk Barbie, the spokes doll for the B-L-O.

We're an international group of children's toys that are revolting against the companies that made us. Whoa, on Current Affairs. Please tell me Bill O'Reilly is hosting. Follow, follow me. I love that sound. She's the absolute and for millions of little girls, the Barbie doll. From her ever-changing wardrobe to her constantly hip hairdos,

Barbie has always been ahead of her time. But as George Chikorone reports, some people think Barbie needs to be liberated. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of desjardins insurance i'm standing 20 000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you home and auto insurance personalized to your needs weird i don't remember saying that part visit desjardins.com care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care? No doubt this is the scene in many living rooms just after Christmas,

but Teen Talk Barbie may be breathing in too many fumes because she's starting to sound a lot like G.I. Joe. It's coming out of a Barbie. And aside from this bleach blonde she-man, there are a couple of poor Joes turning up out there

who got short-ended on their share of testosterone. Want to go shopping? G.I. Joe. Do you want to sleep over tonight? I wonder two things.

I wonder if by accident at the Mattel factory that the doll parts got into the Barbie and if number two, someone did it just out of getting even with somebody, I think it's also kind of sick. So what's a little voice swapping between dolls, you

might ask? Well, apparently this he said, she said mystery may not be so innocent. He wants to be John Stossel so bad. Hi, I'm Teen Talk Barbie, the spokes doll for the B-L-L. They gave her a chyron. This is Teen Talk innocent. He wants to be John Stossel so bad. I'm Teen Talk Barbie, the spokes doll for the BL Ron. They gave her a Chiron. This is Teen Talk Barbie. Clutch cargoed with a Chiron.

So this is actually... This is astonishing. This is a VHS tape they sent out with this clutch cargo mouth replacement thing with Teen Talk Barbie telling you her mission. Take that, Anonymous. This is even creepier. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, so it's so freaking clever that they just went to stores and bought, because they're both made by

Mattel, the Talking Barbie and the Talking G.I. Joe, they have the exact same technology in them, so you can swap their voice chips. Something's going to correct you that Hasbro made G.I. Joe. Well, no, Mattel made these. They were the big G.I. Joes returned to the big guys. Yeah, like the Barbie size ones.

And just swap them And then just drop them in stores Or return them And yeah they were found in a couple different states That's amazing I know That's what I mean by I was like why can't I join them

They did about 200 I think Over the like a three state area maybe Yeah This is one of those pre-internet Yeah Pre-internet things you could do That like now The second they did one of these

they would have all the death threats in the world to send to them like they couldn't do more than one and also uh like this new story is like strangely transphobic it's like this sick freak says man things that's fucked up is that what he said yeah bleach blonde she male yeah she man she may whatever uh if it's any consolation this man has a tremendous mullet so nothing is ever going to be taken seriously I think it was like John Stossel's stunt double John Stossel who hadn't finished baking No, no

He goes to places in case the assassins come He's the life model double Pretty much, yeah The current affair where Bill O'Reilly mistakenly thought he won a Peabody And that he also was going to do it live Pretty much, yeah. The current affair where Bill O'Reilly mistakenly thought he won a Peabody. Yes. And that he also was going to do it live. Do it live. That's when he did it. I like it.

I just love the sound of the current affair triangle hitting the screen like, The Spider-Man words that Celeste Dahl is saying. I think it was, nobody has it on YouTube of the specific Spider-Man toy I have. I never had a talking toy. So Toy Biz, who would eventually buy Marvel, but Toy Biz, which was started by two Israeli guys who now one of them owns Marvel and is also great friends with Donald Trump. Golan and Globus. Good old Ike Perlmutter. Anyways, Toy Biz.

We don't have an Uncle Tom for Judaism. I've been working on that for a while. Is Pearl Mudder a Jewish name? He is a hardcore Jewish. If he's Israeli, then probably. He is a hardcore Israeli. Pearl Mudder, that's how you see it. But anywho, Toy Biz did Marvel toys,

and they did the Marvel Talks line in the early 90s where all the big Marvel characters they did got talking toys. And the toys sucked because they barely had any articulation. It was just they had basically a backpack, a black backpack with four buttons on it to say things. And Spider-Man says, My spider sense is tingling. It's your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

It's like a shitty speaker molded to look like Spider-Man. Yes. Meanwhile, Spider-Man was in a terrible position. His arms were perpetually bent. But of course I had to have it because it look like Spider-Man. Yes. Well, meanwhile, Spider-Man was in a terrible position. Like, his arms were perpetually bent. But, of course, I had to have it because it was a Spider-Man toy and that was going on my Christmas list. I assume at one point he was also a talking toothbrush. This removed the toothbrush. Well, I wanted to find it, too, because if you're a Spider-Man fan, it's been interesting to watch how they cast Spider-Man voices.

Because that voice there, like, anybody call for a whipslinger? We joke about that all the time where he's like he's an old man for like the first 30 years of his life in animation. Like the Ralph Bakshi cartoon, he talks like that too. Oh, I'm Spider-Man, my good e-gatch. I'm a teenager. Sounds.

When Spider-Man should be a guy in his late teens or early twenties, he should have fun. He would have three children in a house when he was created if he was in his late teens. I guess that's true. So that was how Spider-Man used to be cast. But unfortunately, nobody I could find on YouTube had recorded him talking. Not a popular character.

So that is the story of the horrible thing that happened to Celeste. I remember being excited because it led me to believe there was a talking spider. Somewhere in the world. Because I'd never seen one. The Simpsons will be right back. Hola, Simpsons fans. Chris here to tell you that today's show is brought to you by geek fuel and

if you like a super geeky cool fun comic cartoon stuff you might like the mystery box that geek fuel has in store for you every month and if you go to geekfuel.com slash laser time you'll get a free star wars item worth 20 bucks what is geek fuel geek fuel is a wonderful little birthday present that comes to your doorstep every month filled with six to eight items of awesomely geeky goodies. T-shirts, pint glasses, pop figures, action figures, you name it, all shelled in things you love, such as Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Nintendo, Ghostbusters, and yes, The Simpsons. Hey, and this month, you Simpsons fans are going to love this.

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Thank you, GeekFuel. Hey, this is Hank Azaria. You're listening to Talking Simpsons on Lasertime. I didn't know that was a thing. You like Lasertime shows? then you might like bonus time laser times weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash laser time here's a taste of what you've been missing just

that I wanted to mention because this keeps happening I don't want to say Turner classic movies is listening to Talking Simpsons we didn't get every reference they're tossing out there and we did uh boy scouts in the hood with uh guest star ernest borgnine and and i think henry and bob sort of tackled henry sort of tackled that because he knew a lot about ernest borgnine lord knows i did not i don't know fucking thing about ernest borgnine but i knew he was in a

movie movie called marty one i didn't know that movie existed two i didn't know it won best picture that year and it won ernest borgnine best actor he like where he rose from character act uh oscar nominated leading man or borgnine is an italian so there's a lot of offensive italian accents in it oh why you no married you you should be bigger to shame yourself that people just outwardly like are referring to everyone as as ernest borg nine and this other woman like you're ugly as fuck and no one wants you and you'll never meet anybody yeah i'm a little bit a little fat and i'm ugly like yeah you're fat and ugly when has that ever stopped a man before don't go for these dogs out there and they in this this one it's this nice story of these two unfuckable ugly leading people who end up falling for one another. And the slight dilemma is, well, my friends seem to think my mate is ugly.

Get bonus time, Laser Time's weekly, full-length, uncensored, and ad-free Patreon-exclusive podcast. As well as full-length movie commentaries, wrestling and cartoon video commentaries, the first season of Talking Simpson, and more at patreon.com slash lasertime, starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live, and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. Hey, did you watch this episode live, Diana? Yeah, yeah. I should go back to that. I am an episode zero viewer. I watch Tracy Ullman.

Wow. And then saw... On purpose? Yes. There wasn't a lot to do back then. It was better than everything else. Oh wow, there's going to be a Simpsons special? Awesome. So yeah, I'm a day one viewer because I'm old. Does my face remind you of the

Grim Specter of death? I hear Diana talk about it on 302010 with us. Yeah. Lisa has now been galvanized that she's going to fight back against this. Yeah. And when she tries to drum up support from the family, it's kind of... That is so great. We've had several episodes this season that are about Marge complains all the time.

It is them making a meta commentary on the show that they always go like, Marge will say she doesn't like this. That's right. Marge says, oh, you got it. This is so great. I love this whole secret. It's probably my line of the show. You want to do it?

I have a different line of the show. I mean, there's so many, but I love this one. Lisa, ordinarily I'd say you should stand up for what you believe in, but you've been doing that an awful lot lately. Yeah, you made us march in that gay rights parade. Look at what Fox because they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria. I can't believe you're just

going to stand by as your daughters grow up in a world where this, this is their role model. I had a Malibu Stacy when I was little and I turned out alright. Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream. Now let's forget our troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream. Now let's forget our troubles with

a big bowl of strawberry ice cream. Do you know how hard it is to... There's so much going on there. But the pull... Come on, Marge. The pull string thing, it was random. Yeah. I kid you not. If you knew, it would say... She says things on cue, like when you need her to.

The picture of Bart in the gay pride parade who was somehow accidentally thrown in front of the photographer is one of the funniest one-frame side gig gags I've ever seen. That is great. The chemical weapons plant in Syria thing, we're recording this early enough, but I don't want to say more stuff about this. Look, Syria is probably known for other things.

From where we are now, this line spoke to me because when I got off a plane recently, it was after we just bombed Syria, and I went to a bar to have a drink at the airport. It was basically Fox News. All the male correspondents were visibly rubbing their boners through their slacks, like, we're going to have a war, yeah! But it was Fox News, so it was like, it's hilarious that this, like Fox and Syria and chemical weapons

is all together in this one great line by Homer. Wow. And there's one other thing that she did that I want to throw in because it's something no one does anymore. It used to be

animal rights activists would throw red paint on people that wore fur and stuff. And so they mentioned that Lisa was... I have the line if you want to hear it. Because it's calling

the Malibu Stacy hotline. Hello. You have reached the Malibu Stacy hotline. Hello. You have reached the Malibu Stacy Customer Service Center. If you have a complaint about Malibu Stacy's appearance or odor, press 1. If you've given Malibu Stacy a haircut and need to order a replacement head, press 2. For information on our factory tour, press 3. Mom, we can go on the factory tour and I can complain in person. That's so funny.

You're not going to throw red paint at the executives, are you? The Keebler people were very upset. I want to know what inspired that. That's such a funny joke. I did pause and rewind. I was like, should I Google what Keebler has ever done wrong? I think it might be Lisa overreacting to something. I think that undercuts Lisa's stance of just like,

oh, did she, what, attack Keebler elves people? Because even though she'd say executives, I'm imagining elves. I mean, maybe they're trying to say Lisa kind of cries wolf a bit too much, so people aren't taking her seriously when there's a real problem. I just love that she's like so

happy, I can complain in person! You'll have to listen to me then! red pain was something a fur an anti-fur movement yeah yeah right i think i still do that yeah probably it's very effective i mean ruining fur yeah i mean ruining fur yeah well they should be covered in blood honestly the one of my favorite things that the Golden Girls did was they did an anti-fur campaign. It was an early PETA thing that they talked to their viewers of just like, look, just get fake fur. Furs are horrible. It didn't work. Everybody I see coming back from college from spring break, they all got the fur coat, the straw hat.

Straw boater, eating a goldfish. And they keep saying 23 skidoo. I don't understand. So many people have died stuffing themselves into goldfish. And they keep saying 23 skidoo. I don't understand. We're all so happy to be going on this one. So many people have died stuffing themselves into goldfish. I don't know whether we want to... Oh, giving Barbie a haircut is a thing the girls have done forever. That's why boy toys...

Boys destroy all their toys and lose every accessory. If you gave them hair to cut... If you gave them a refillable cartridge of anything, they would slow down the production of boys' toys for people of this age in general. I'm sure if their action figures had hair to cut, they would just set it on fire. I can, like a doctor,

draw you the guts of a G.I. Joe figure because I hated them and destroyed them. They're made of rubber bands and knobs. I call it cartilage. Tear through it before I put firecrackers in their ass. But Malibu Stacy's history. I wanted to see it. They go to the Petrochem Petrochemical Corporation

makers of caustic polypropylene and Malibu Stacy. Now I actually went into polypropylene because I actually know way too much about polypropylene for a film major because my dad was an engineer for a petrochemical company. Like the Petroleum Company?

The stuff that smells like hamster piss? No, a petroleum company. And polypropylene, which is the second most popular plastic in the world, is made obviously from oil. It's like a byproduct of oil refining. So one of his big projects that they gave us so much internal swag for that we had forever was the polypropylene pellet producing plant project the ppppp yes and they had their they had a mascot that was can you guess polypropylene poly the parrot was a parrot wearing a hard, and they gave us beach towels and mugs and all this stupid swag. You still have it?

I think I still have some of it. I used one of those beach towels. I took it to college and killed it real good. He was second only to Chester Cheetah in Youth Appeal. So the polypropylene pellet producing plant project. Wow. Well, we get to see what happens at this plant. It's not in my favorite line.

There's a bit of fairy dust in the air. Well, we get to see what happens at this plant. It's another of my favorite lines. There's a bit of fairy dust in the air. The cripple is a clog in the torso shoe. Leroy, get your ass in gear. Shut your hole. The term, a torso shoe. The torso shoe. Torso shoe.

There's a clog in the torso shoe. Jam a broom in it. And I swear, it is very special at this point, when the Simpsons says the word ass, because that was about the hardest thing you could say on television. Yeah. That's true. They got away with son of a bitch.

I think that's slightly harder. Well, we had Bart's bastard song, but it was technically accurate. Bastard, bastard. Malibu Stacy's history is fascinating, and I just wanted to... It's all great. You guys brought a ton of great clips to the show. I want to see if I could do the same. It really reminds me of the short film that we see about Roger Myers Sr. later,

in the next season, actually. Springfield's first aqua car factory. I love old industrial films. Malibu Stacey. America's favorite eight-by-half picture. In 1959, homemaker Stacey Lovell had a design and a dream. The design? Malibu Stacy. The dream? To mass market a fashion doll that was also edible.

Kids didn't much like the taste of dried onion meal, but they loved the doll. A second plastic Malibu Stacy took America by storm. Just ask the owner of the world's largest Malibu Stacy collection, Waylon Smithers of Springfield. Hello, Malibu Stacey Collectors. I'll see you at StaceyCon 94. Oh, man. So, I actually went to find out, is Barbie

made out of polypropylene? What? No, she is not. Some inferior plastic. Uh, vinyl mostly. Oh, I see. But she does have her weird leg joints are made of polypropylene. She does have caustic polypropylene. Those weird joints that kind of bump when you twist them. This is a crazy spoiler for the later time episode I want you to listen to,

The Oldest Toy in a Toy Aisle. But what Barbie has the distinction of actually being is the first ever female adult toy. They always made dollies, but they never... As of 1959, it was just baby dolls. You could have a female baby doll. Women literally didn't have

an adult person that they could hold in their hand. G.I. Joe is like, I don't know, to me, as old as time. Yeah. You've always been aggrandizing

the military industrial. Barbie is the first adult lady toy. And I have a clip, and I haven't heard this in a while but i grabbed it from my old research doc of the first barbie commercial well if you wanted to hear yeah barbie you're beautiful you make me feel My Barbie doll is really real. Barbie's small and so petite. Her clothes and figure look so neat. Her dancing outfit rings the bell. At parties she will cast a spell.

Purses, hats, and gloves galore. And all the gadgets gal's a girl. Barbie dressed for swim and fun is only $3. Her lovely fashions range from $1 to $5. Look for Barbie wherever dolls are sold. It's microtransactions. Someday I'm gonna be exactly like you. She's beautiful. Till then I know just what I'll do.

I'll get married. Showing wedding Barbie. Beautiful Barbie. Brunette Barbie. I'll make believe. I really can't help but point out the irony in that that again that barbie for like at least 10 years a controversy over like why does she have one impossible body type and hairdo and it debuted with multiple all kinds of women both kinds um all white but you saw that different hairstyle it debuted with like

pick the one that feels right to you they were all it was a huge deal to like bother to change her but they're all kind of built like mimi vandoren which i'm not against in any way but uh i have no idea about me so on the watch girls town that was a little longer than i thought on the commentary they bring up that oakley's wife was a Barbie collector at the time. And that she, I believe it was Oakley, right? It was Oakley, yeah. It was a passing fancy. She was Oakley, yeah.

A passing fancy. But that he, they wouldn't go more into it, but they said, the biggest Barbie collectors were Smithers types, meaning older gay men. I don't know if you've been listening, but I didn't know this about Smithers. I didn't pick up on it. I think he was actually named Waylon for the first time in this episode.

No, no, no. I am. Okay, fine. I'm now in the reference court. When the one where Bart is born, Burns hires Homer and says, I haven't seen anything like that since the young firebrand named Waylon Smithers. But this is the most concrete evidence of Smithers' sexuality.

This is him out in the court. Well, I think a couple scenes from now we'll get the most concrete. But you get to see Smithers home. You get to see him out of costume like he's in his sweater vest yeah away from burns like private smithers i like his apartment and we only see it a few times and that he has that he has some interest outside of burns you know that's i like that too and being a burn sexual it's so interesting that they date it so specifically like staceyCon94. This is 1994 and I'll see you at StaceyCon94. At the San Diego

Airport Hilton. I wonder, that's got to be a San Diego Comic Con reference. Even in 1994, the dweebs on the Simpsons staff are going to Comic Con. I think it's never not been in that building? It's always been in San Diego. It just kept getting bigger,

but it's always been in that area. Well, I think it was the only one for a really long time and the only door convention of like everything encompassing everything and it just kept growing bigger and bigger and bigger and now it just takes over san diego here's here's straight to video steven seagal wesley snipes alley you know for nerds well i mean at this point in the episode we have abe and lisa sort of uh so oh no lisa i just love that lisa confronts the oh the woman who works there with like isn't this horrible and she gives you the corporate bullshit line of like we certainly don't mean it that way we respect women and then they immediately open the door to be like oh we're the biggest sexual like sexual harassment always existed but in the 90s

it felt like mainstream culture recognized sexual harassment is a thing and i don't have to take it and the woman closing the door with her ass is still the sexiest fucking thing i've ever seen in my entire life on this well that she i felt like with her that she knew i want to stay employed so if this keeps me in a job that i'll do it. She knows she likes it. That's such a gross line but it is very accurate. Don't do like those guys though, listeners. It's bad.

Don't do what they need to. Never mind. Even if they seem to like it, don't do it. So the next scene we have kind of Abe and Lisa in the kitchen and one of the greatest, most memorable things.

100%. This always describes in my mind a product that nobody asked for, but is strangely popular just because idiots like it. So I guess we can go ahead and play the clip. Is this your line of the show? This is my line of the show. I mean, it's more of a visual. Just seeing the insert shot.

I had to cut out the visual. You don't have a line of the show. Is this the one we want? I think this is my line of the show. If it says that she's the guest, let's give it the jingle. That's the joke. I mean, it explains all pop culture right now. Yep.

Or always has. It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you. It's rotten being old. No one listens to you. I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are. Nuts and gum. Nuts and gum Nuts and gum

Together at last I don't know why I've always thought that that was a Conan joke It just feels like one to me But I know he's not on the show anymore Maybe And just taking like a big handful Of nuts and gum I can just imagine the textures

And how disgusting that would be. The nuts are getting smaller and smaller but they're still embedded in the gum. This is such a perfect example of white privilege. Just privilege of just saying I get what I want. I feel really old and like

oh yeah the demo's 18 to 49 or 34. I'm still in there. Well it's shrinking some. They've cut it demo's 18 to 49, not 34. I'm still in there. Well, it's shrinking some. They've cut it thinner of 18 to 34, I think, is the ultimate section. But extend out to 49, you're still good. When you lose interest in new things and don't care about disposable income. You don't have this clip, but I love Grandpa forgetting what he wants to do. He's like, I'm going to get a Malibu.

A real Malibu. It's such a long clip. It's very well done visually, too. I just like him still going, help. At the end. And then we get another. I was talking with Brett Elston, previous guest on the show, about this episode beforehand. I was like, every line you love is in this episode.

Or like so many memorable ones. Nuts and Gums is. Nuts and Gums is. And then this Smithers thing is one of my all-time favorites. And this is, these were computers. He is using a 1990s black and white computer to make a newsletter that he will then print out and mail to people every month. Who are Milo Bustace. I also like how he immediately recognizes Lisa.

He's like, oh, it's Homer Simpson's daughter. Come in. I kept trying to deconstruct that. If it were a joke, the way Burns responds. I think it is like he's the anti-Burns. He immediately knows

Homer Simpson and his children, too. Because he should. They're directly involved in his life several times at this point. There's such a wonderful sweetness in his voice. I really just like the way

he talks. Yeah. He's really likable here. It softens Smithers a lot and shows him not just as the bootlicker for Burns or the dog who growls on Burns' behalf when something doesn't go Burns' way.

Pay attention. Stacy Lavelle is a total recluse. She hasn't appeared in public in 20 years. Here, I'm writing an article on her for my next Malibu Stacy newsletter. It contains her last known whereabouts. I'll, uh, print you out a copy. Thanks. Hello, Smithers. You're quite good at turning me on. Um, you probably should ignore that. The foley of that 1994 computer chugging is really good.

It's really, really good. I thought it was a printer, but it is just like a 20 megabyte hard drive. Chug, chug, chug. Move all this into place. I'll find this file. I'll start this. I need to move this PDF onto a floppy. I just want to say, if you're still a listener, Steam friend,

today I had a total... Russians tried to hijack my Steam account. Oh, shit. I had to get it back, and I just never... I didn't use it for another eight months. Turned it on today for the first time, and the first prompt, and I know we're doing this episode, is, hope you're still listening, Slow Octopus, and his avatar burns black and white with his arms across his chest, i just got so happy it's a

very popular online avatar it's not but just like this this episode's filled with stuff like that like that have lasted way longer than the i think then people remember the plot or the theme of the episode well in the mid 90s it was just fun to i entertain myself so many times like i can have a startup sound that isn't just the sound Windows wants it to be. My first was kids in the hall, Kevin McDonald yelling, but first, the whores. Mine was Mitchell. My family computer closing sound was a great Cornholio rant. It was like 45 seconds.

My error prompt was Dave Chappelle from Half Baked. Bitch! Samson character. Diana, did you have funny noises on your computer? I didn't, because I was always like four generations behind on computers. Yeah. I went to college with a word processor. Okay, that's how old I am. Thanks.

I'm old! I think my warning sound was Mitchell. Mitchell. Yeah. I had seven different Mitchells. Different needs. I cannot allow you guys to bring up

Mystery Science Theater 2000. It is such a wonderful time to be alive. Every time I've ever thought about suicide, I'm like, that was stupid. Because the new

Mystery Science Theater rules. I wouldn't have lived to see this. You're looking in at your TV from the ledge. Oh, hey, I'm stepping in. It's like the biggest deterrent to ending your life I've ever seen in my entire life.

So good. Thanks, Joan of Arc. I feel so proud how many of those movies, oh, I've seen this already. Yeah. Like, I've seen fucking Star Crash, Avalanche. Like, yeah, no. I said don't get it started.

I really want to do a separate episode with you guys. You have to imagine Smithers recording Burns saying those words separately and then cutting them together because Burns didn't say that. I thought the same thing for the first time. Turning. Yes. That he had a little tape recorder and stitched it together.

Not on like Ferris Bueller or Kevin McAllister. I mean, I was going to say they could be like answering machine messages stitched together, but he doesn't know how to use the phone. He learns in like two years how to use the phone though honestly burns trust smithers so much to do everything for him that he just said hey could you say these words it's for a thing and burns was like well of course smithers i'll just do that you're more like a doctor but also before this abe gets a job at the crusty Burger, which this was a thing too. And it's still something like I blocked McDonald's because I saw one of these out there.

I do believe there are actual old people, elderly people who want to stay active and they get a job at Walmart or McDonald's and they don't mind. But I also think those some of those employers just exploit poor people who lost their pension for some reason. And it's just so exploitative. And just, like, I hate seeing those ads that are like, this 94-year-old woman still works at McDonald's. I'm like, this country sucks. I think that's the basis for it. I didn't think about it. Otherwise, I would have got the clip.

It was an old guy getting a job at McDonald's. It was a huge commercial. Yeah, in the early 90s. It was an initiative to get older people on the workforce. Which, again, I worked there for a year on and off. There were no old people. And they don't so much exploit old people as much as the mentally challenged. Oh, yeah.

They were like, come in here. And, man, they put everything you could ever do to shame. Yes, there was a woman with Down syndrome I worked with at the movie theater who she was the best. She was the best worker of all time. Same with me when it was a grocery store. But yeah, when I hear stories like that, Henry, I think of the tweet that's like, this seven-year-old collects cans for 10 hours a day to pay for college. Isn't he great?

Like, no, he's actively destroying his childhood. And he's going to be a bitter man. Isn't it awesome that this man has to sell trash to push kids through college in this country? It also feels like a very corporate thing of like, just work yourself to death. Why didn't you even pay him? He's doing it anyway. What a sucker. Minimum wage at 90.

Just do it. We've gotten this far and I cannot believe it. This is going to be like eight times longer than the longest episode. We're creeping up on the longest episode right now. The guest star who's uncredited? Yeah. She's uncredited in this episode too? Oh, I didn right now the guest star who's uncredited she's uncredited in this episode too oh i didn't know she's uncredited and roger oh my bad that's what you're talking about yeah here we go she's so good stacy lavelle yep lisa finds stacy lavelle in the malibu stacy dream house excuse me miss lavelle i'd like to talk to you about Malibu Stacy. Do you have any idea how many kids have tried to track me down?

Am I the first? Yes. I want you to hear what Malibu Stacy is telling a generation of little girls. Thinking too much gives you wrinkles. I love that she gave a fuck. Yeah, she gave a fuck. She cares about the integrity of Malibu Stacy. She's playing her a bit tipsy here, too.

You can tell. She is an old drunk. And then when she quits drinking, it's a nice character moment for her. But I get a real feel of Jane Fonda in her. Well, the one line really is telling. Because she was forced out of her company in 1974. She's like, oh, Lisa's like, yeah, really is telling. Because she was forced out of her company in 1974. She's like, oh, Lisa's like, oh, that's terrible. Well, I was funneling funds to the Viet Cong.

Which that's a reference to Jane Fonda. It could be a reference to Jane Fonda. I feel like that's a Hanoi Jane reference. Conservatives are still mad. We'll never forgive her. Never. We're here to boycott Frankie and Gracie. Second season on Netflix.

Anyway, Jane, I'm boycotting Barbarella. How could you? That's too sexy. Diane, I need your help here because of my personal biases. I tend to think of Kathleen Turner as the sexiest woman in the entire universe. Yeah. And I know. But I'm too young to remember her visually

as a sex, but I saw Romancing the Stone. Okay, Romancing the Stone is my number one suggestion for Kathleen Turner because she's funny

and she's sexy and she's great in that. I love when they get high together. No, but Body Heat. Body Heat. Oh my goodness,

yeah. Body Heat, O-M- Brian De Palma's Ode to Alfred Hitchcock. Not Brian De Palma, you are thinking of Body Double. Damn it goodness, yeah. Body Heat. O-M-G. Brian De Palma's ode to Alfred Hitchcock. Not Brian De Palma. You are thinking of Body Double. Damn it.

I'm sorry. Kill me. Kill me. She's not in Turner and Hooch is what you're saying. No. Okay. Kathleen Turner and Hooch. I was Ted Turner.

I was misled. But if you're like me, I don't re-watch a lot of Kathleen Turner movies. It might shock you. Serial Mom rules. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part

visit dejaden.com care and get insurance that's really big on care did i mention that we care yes oh my god i love cereal oh it's great other than that i don't that woman for wearing white after labor day i forget she's uh that's. She is a pivotal character in my literal favorite movie of all time. Here we go. Scam work. No, no, no. I love my husband. You've got me all wrong.

You don't know how hard it is being a woman looking the way I do. Yeah, well. You don't know how hard it is being a man looking at a woman looking the way you do i'm not bad i'm just drawn that way boom that voice Jessica Rabbit yeah that voice i would kill to have that voice i gotta smoke more i have yeah too many shows and articles on who framed roger rabbit and part of the it's one of the most successful things disney ever did and i I had too many shows and articles on who framed Roger Rabbit. It's one of the most successful things Disney ever did. And I think because Robert Zemeckis and Steven Spielberg are involved, they need to be paid every time it's mentioned.

Not a lot happens. But you can't stop Jessica Rabbit merchandise. That shit has been unstoppable ever since. You can't find Roger anywhere, but Jessica is available and licensable. She has a completely unrealistic body, but based on the commentary for that movie, I believe they make her breasts bounce up and then down instead of down and then up to make her otherworldly. So, like, her boob physics were disgust.

They even have, like, timpani drum noises. Yeah. It's the best movie ever. And Kathleen Turner, yeah, very underrated as a voice actress. I also remember that she played Matthew Perry's transgender mom on Friends. I remember that. She did. Yes, she did.

Yeah, that Chandler's father became a woman, or transitioned, and was a nightclub singer, or a Vegas singer, and Kathleen Turner played that character. I'm sure it was handled extremely well. And she's not like could you be any more of a woman? I know Bob and I

had a giant jerk fest over Michelle Pfeiffer's character in a recent episode but like is that the sexiest voice in the universe? Yeah. That probably is.

Because she's not played up for that in this episode. She's just speaking as a woman in a pants. This is one of my favorite lines ever. You know what we said on Last Temptation of Homer,

that Mindy had the best butt in Simpsons history, but obviously we're wrong. Stupid Sexy Flanders has the best butt in Simpsons history. I have to correct myself. Or Jiggles from the corporate Malibu Stacey. But this is such good acting. It's so great. My name is Stacey, but you can call me... I see exactly what you mean. This is such good acting. It's so great. My name is Stacy, but you can call me...

I see exactly what you mean. This is a problem. But what do you expect me to do? Change what she says. It's your company. Not since I was forced out in 1974. They said my way of thinking just wasn't cost effective. That's awful.

Well, that and I was funneling profits to the Viet Cong. But you are Malibu, Stacy. And as long as she has your name, you have a responsibility. I'd be mortified if someone ever made a lousy product with the Simpson name on it. I may have had things in common with Stacy in the beginning, but 30 years of living her lifestyle taught me some very harsh lessons. Five Huntsman's. Ken.

Johnny. Joe. Dr. Colossus, Steve Austin. But if you can learn from Malibu Stacy's mistakes, so can everyone. I'm sure we can think of something together. Come on. Not now. I'm too drunk. No, you're not. I'll come back tomorrow.

I love the animation of her eyes blinking just slightly out of sync. She wasn't even 40 recording this. How do you get your voice to sound like that in your 30s? I need to know. I want to marry her voice. I want to see her. That's where Harvey Fierstein. I want to marry her voice. I want to see her. Bob, you're doing this. That's where Harvey fires team. I don't need her at all anymore.

I forgot that Dr. Colossus appeared before who shot Mr. Burns Part 2. Everybody else is a real, like at least a reference to a real world, very specific. Steve Austin is literally Steve Austin.

Literally Steve Austin. $6 million. Joe is G.I. Joe. Johnny is some sort of cowboy in Ken's. I'm sure there were a lot of Steve Austin dolls, though. Oh, yeah. He had an eye. I've seen it.

His eye comes out because he has a telescope eye in the show. That's one of his things. And you can look through the back of his head through his telescope eye. It's a good reference, and I forget I love, all I can think of is Plastic Galaxy. Plastic Galaxy is a toy documentary, but the show Six Million Dollar Man lived on a lot longer than it would have

had its merchandise not been wildly successful. That's interesting. That and Evil Knievel's career. But have any of you ever had a hamburger that could take a bite out of you? I need some of that? This is so good. I love this. We need some more secret sauce.

Put this mayonnaise in the sun. All right. That's my runner-up for best line. Now that old man Peterson's off our backs, let's have some fun. Everything is damaged that could take a bite out of you. Ha, ha, ha. Look at this damage. Goddamn hamburger took a bite out of you? Ha! Ha! Look at this diamond! Goddamn hamburger

took a bite out of me. Never, never want to like tell the story again that I worked at McDonald's with my best friend and was like, I was licking slices of cheese

to ninja star at him so they would stick to his face. And he was making burgers and he just started taking them off his face and putting them in the burger. I never, I never actively spit

in anybody's food but like, nobody liked or respected that McDonald's. And the mayonnaise out in the sun thing was beautiful because the second I walk in there, it's like, here's our Big Mac sauce, and it's just sour mayonnaise. It's salad dressing in a fucking

caulking gun. They don't want you taking it home, or you can't get... It's a proprietary caulking gun that you squirt sauce on burgers with. You can't use it. Speaking of good animation, I mean, this teen joylessly wrapping burgers

is really good animation. Too good for what this scene needs, but I like it. Just looking off into space and putting away But how does a sandwich can literally take a bite out of you? I do love that Hank Azaria just guy off screen. It's like, took a bite out of me. Took a bite out of me.

He couldn't actually. Took a bite out of you. Just one moment to plug. Over the weekend, I watched the first two episodes of Hank Azaria's Brockmire. Which is a character. He's playing a baseball announcer. He is, but it's like he created that character like 20, 30 years ago and has done it a billion times oh really okay so like it's it you'll you'll watch it if you're a giant simpsons fan you can't not watch it and take it the simpsons

it's really strange but an announcer who goes too far and is busted down to the minors brockmeyer so uh now we have lisa has designed the new Malibu Stacy with all the feminists she loves. She's fighting fire with fire with new feminism. Do we have a list of those feminists? I have a list. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Time for a new Malibu Stacy. You and I are going to make our own talking doll.

She'll have the wisdom of Gertrude Stein and the wit of Kathy Geisweit. The tenacity of Nina Totenberg, and the common sense of Elizabeth Katie Stanton, and to top it off, the down-to-earth good looks of Eleanor Roosevelt. Only joke I got. Which is not true. She looks nothing like Eleanor Roosevelt. At least the Lionheart

doesn't look like that. It is one of history's meanest things. It really is. We only bring up Eleanor Roosevelt as a reference to ugly. She's not unattractive. She did a lot of things, but other than be unattractive. Those first ladies aren't fucking attractive. She's a brilliant woman, but not conventionally.

It's like Michelle Obama and who the fuck else, Jackie? Jackie Onassis? Yeah, also the wit of Kathy Geist. Melania Trump. Melania is beautiful. Melania is beautiful. She's the best. Well, actually, I meant Ivanka Trump.

She's a secret first lady. But I know one of them, and I swear to God, that's an NPR person, but I don't know from what. Nina Totenberg. Yes, Nina Totenberg. Yeah, she's a reporter. And she cracked the Clarence Thomas harassment case. She was responsible for that.

She first reported on it. I just know her as an NPR name. Was she started with Gertrude Stein? Yeah. The wisdom of Gertrude Stein. So Gertrude Stein is a writer and an important art collector. The wit of Kathy Geiswein.

This is one I got to call her on. No, no. The lady who writes... You know who Kathy Geiswein is. Right. One hint. Ack. Ack.

Swimsuits. Ack. Ack. Oh, man. This is going to be too dumb a story. You got to edit it out, but it was something that happened to me. My girlfriend's like, look at this picture and what people are saying about me. And I'm like, why are you drawing Kathy? And she's like, look at it again.

I'm like, yeah, I didn't know you could draw Kathy. Like, why are you drawing Kathy? And then she's like, that's not me that's the person who made Kathy I'm like oh my god you guys look exactly the same you guys well there's there's always sweat flying out of her which is very distracting there's nothing more insulting you can say to your lady than like you look like that look you look like that woman who could never get married from the comic so. So you think Kathy Geiswein...

She did get married. I'll show you the picture. It'll blow your fucking mind. But Dana, you don't think Kathy Geiswein is witty? There's a lot of funnier women out there, man.

List them all. List every funny woman. I say they're not funny. The for better or worse lady could be better. There's only one thing funny about Kathy and that's Irving.

He's hilarious. The only funny part. Why didn't Kathy and John Arbuckle hook up? I feel like they had a lot. Too unfuckable, pathetic. Well, their dogs wouldn't like each other.

That's true. Oh, good point. She had a dog. I wish I could hug you for understanding that reference. Jesus Christ. Elizabeth Cady Stanton, that's a deeper cut.

That's a much deeper cut. She was a very early feminist and suffragette. And abolitionist. Yeah, and abolitionist. Pre-Civil War. So like 1840, she's like,

why can't we fucking vote? Yeah. Women should vote. What the hell? And everyone's like, you girl, you crazy. If she ever protested, I think there's no difference

between her and white nationalists. Yep. There just really isn't. They're all opinions. There's just a middle there and that's the correct thing. Oh, we're annoying people so much. I love it. I mean, Susan B. Anthony is your go-to one for

suffragettes, if you're going to talk about them. Elizabeth Cady Stanton was before. Even earlier. In old school. Kate Geist? Kathy Geist. Nina Totenberg. Kathy Geist, but she's not a ghost, Chris. A German ghost.

Wait, Eleanor Roosevelt. Right. Yeah. Okay. I saw her dress at the Smithsonian recently. Joe comes in to take her to the mobile cabine. I love he has a neckline of being plastic. That's like highlighted in my notes that he's the only Simpsons simpsons action figure like character drawn like a toy it's so cool i'll bomb your house into the ground

missy yeah well well he grabs her with his kung fu grip all right which i feel like that's one of those things that needs explaining now it's been such a go-to joke for for toys but the gi joe with the kung fu grip he had these sort of rubbery hands so he could like put a little gun in his hand and he pulled it. It was the toy telling you this toy can do one thing which it could not before it was just a guy who stood there

and then that leads to another very meta moment of them talking about how their hair is not normal at all. It's too good not to play because man it's the only acknowledgement that the Simpsons don't look like humans. They don't look like anyone else on the show. Like, three of them have hair that's part of their flesh. Which, Buzz MacRainings, it's what he wants.

He's like, nobody should look like them. They should all be specific in their world. It's a good idea. The only person with flesh-colored hair in my life was my grandmother, and she went to great effort to hide that from everybody. Make sure you get my mom's hair just right. I think we'll use someone different for the hair. How about me? There's something not quite right.

How about me? How about me? You all have hideous hair. I mean, from a design point of view. Oh, well, put it view oh well that reminds me of I only consider you scum compared to Krusty oh okay I thought I heard an interview with a toy manufacturer

that's what makes Simpsons characters really hard to make action figures out of because there's a dick load of dimensions to all of their hairs that are not in the cartoon they're impossible to render in three dimensions accurately just because of the way they're constructed. I mean, Lisa looks like a sea urchin. Yeah. Well, I remember

when I had my first Bart toy, I was used to Bart, I counted it as notches on its head. It is nine. You get nine notches on Bart's head, but to make it a toy, it's just like, well, it kind of has to have a butt. It has to have a porcupine or like a python. It'll look like a Burger King crown if you don't fill it in yeah exactly and that's it you

just never think about them in three dimensionally and same with lisa that she has to be a pineapple we'll see you in a year and a half for that one. It's coming up? Yeah, well, I think, and then I love this point where it's like the episode points out this has been an episode all about Lisa and Grandpa. Yeah. Where's Bart? Where's Homer? That was so awesome.

Bart freaks out about not getting any attention. Being just ignored. I think I got it. Yeah, yeah. All right, now all we need is a name. How about Blabbermouth a jerky doll for jerks how about minerva after the roman goddess of wisdom not enough commercial appeal wendy windbag ugly doris portents the mule face doll i think we should name her after lisa

we'll call her lisa lionheart no loudmouth mouth Lisa. Stupid Lisa garbage face. I can't stand this any longer. Somebody please pay attention to me. Hello, pay attention to me. Look at me. I'm Bart. I'm Bart. Look at me. Look at me. Look at me. The most accurate depiction of me is an ADHD child. A, it's a very accurate annoying child

observation, but B, I really think this is showrunner David Merkin being the anti-sitcom again, where it's like, whenever there's a one-liner, a show will usually shut down. Everyone will react to it, or the audience will laugh. Here, it's like people realistically having a conversation while someone is annoyingly making jokes in the background and they're ignoring him. He does this all the time.

We cannot make him part of this conversation. The way Marge and Homer are just looking at Lisa with just pride and like, can you not hear Bart? You're just, you are ignoring him. Being Stewie Griffin. Once you not hear bart like you're just you are ignoring him being stewie griffin though once you're a pair you can tune it though they make up the name after they manufacture the boxes i think somebody should have been fired for that we all know you don't come up with an idea unless you have a trilogy exactly but right before that was my second

favorite line of the show crusty's, which as somebody who professionally talks into microphones, I think of it all the time. I think this joke a lot at work when recording things. And the Oh Boy Bobby video is... Hey, it's talking Bob. It just uses this video. Yes, yeah. It's the compilation of every Oh Boy Bobby. I don't know.

That's a weird testament to a Simpsons episode where there's all these things pulled onto the internet and memefied that don't really have anything to do with Malibu, Stacy or Kathleen Turner or Lisa from this episode. That's how good this episode is. It's it's meat is delicious. Uh, it's parsley is fantastic. Uh,

crusty doing VO. Lisa's recording the voice. First thing in on Lisa's, uh, voiceover for Lisa Lionheart. Uh, look, girl,

we got other talking dollies to record today. All right, you playdexters, let's get this right. One, hey, hey, kids, I'm talking Krusty. Two, hey, hey, here comes Sideshow Mel. Again, here comes Sideshow Mel. Sideshow Mel. Three. Put a ring-bada-boom, I'm done.

Learn from a professional, kid. I really like Krusty's second Sideshow Mel. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm talking about. Sideshow's second Sideshow Mel. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm talking about. Sideshow Mel. Sideshow Mel. Sideshow Mel. I have done that many times.

And pause. And memory saves. There's nothing I hate more than... If you think my VO is terrible on the videos I do, know that I've had to redo it. And that's as good as I can do. And I do have to do exactly that. November 18th.

November 18th. I usually lapse into profanity whenever I mess something up, and it's like, ah, sucks dicks. I do that every time we film videos at work. I'm like, if I have to do the intro, I will do it the first three times. I'm like, hey, everybody, welcome to the thing that sucked. Okay, let me start over. Hey, everybody, welcome to this.

And, yeah, the slideshow mouse. Sideshow me start over. Hey, everybody, welcome to this. And yeah, and yeah, the slideshow Mel, slideshow Mel. Slideshow. Yes. I just love it so much. And then Krusty is so full of himself that he thinks he did it perfect and then is left before they have even said, I'm done. Turns out, nope, there wasn't

any tape. They were still working on it. He ran away anyway. Kent Brockman took a liking to this doll based on his little seen daughter, perhaps with Stephanie the Weather Lady. So I'm guessing they put, so they did put the toy in stores. Nobody was buying it because they weren't advertising it.

But somehow Kent Brockman's daughter bought it at the store. And so now she has talked Kent into doing. Talk about the dolly. The dolly. You were right about the Berlin Wall. She was right about the Berlin Wall. Though it was unusual to

spend 28 minutes reporting on a doll, this reporter found it impossible to stop talking. It's just really fascinating news, folks. Good night. Oh, and the president was arrested for murder. More on that tomorrow night, or you can turn to another channel.

Do not turn to another channel. So another thing that doesn't seem outlandish anymore. Well, yeah, I feel like that's another great... That's the line that I use every now and then. It's just like... Go to another website. No, no. And the president's been arrested for murder.

Yes. So let's see. What did I do today? I went to the market, but they were out of granola bars. And then I talked to my mom, and the president was arrested for murder. Well, I mean, the reveal of what happens when the Malibu Stacy Corporation tries to compete, I feel like this is sort of tied with nuts and gum in my head as the thing that stupid people will fall for every time. Like every shitty new video game thing I think of in these terms where people will fall for every time like every every shitty new video

game thing i think of in these terms where people get excited for no reason i just yeah i think of a new hat every time often with any kind of marketing thing yeah i mean new hat and nuts and gum are together like just part of awful capitalism the 2017 version is remastered yes or it's every Sonic game that comes out. It's just like, no, this is still Sonic, but he's got a new hat. He's got a new friend. He's got a new friend.

You can play mostly as him. Correction time, though. Ken Brockman says he's writing everything on the 40th anniversary of Beetle Bailey. Beetle Bailey first appeared in September 1950. So in early 1994, he would have been 43. 43.

Not working. So, boom. R.I.P. Wait, no. I hate that name. Oh, you don't want to rest in peace. I thought you were saying he wasn't dead. Rest in anxiety.

But let's see that new hat line. I love it. That Smithers is even pulled into it. Give me, give me. I want it, I want it. And then also, this is the best thing all those executives could come up with. Like, we've got to beat this thing. How do we do it?

Can we get Chinese food? Yeah, I like the point that the male executives, I mean, all the Malibu Stacy executives, they're all men. Yes. They don't know what they're doing. At first, we just blew past a really quick time filler scene where it's like they hire a goon from Washington, D.C. Who just drives by and just throws a brick at the house.

What was that? I don't know. And then just drives away like, that got him. Then they're at the window, just sort of, eh, whatever. But yeah, all these big, dumb male executives trying to decide what little girls want. And they're so freaking uncreative. But yep, people are stupid. So, she's got a new hat.

They changed Malibu Stacy! She is better than ever! Wait, don't be fooled! She's just a regular Malibu Stacy with a stupid cheap hat! She still embodies all the awful stereotypes she did before! But she's got a new hat.

Huh. I want it! I want it, I want it, I want it. But she's got a new hat. But she's got a new hat. It's a great saying. I also love the kind of meta commentary of keep running. We're almost there. It shouldn't be that long to run there. They're killing time by saying keep running.

We're almost there. And then also in Grandpa's story resolved pretty much the way it started, just sort of like, eh, whatever. He just remembers that he loves complaining more than working. God let people grow old so they can find fault in everything he's made. That's a good line. Literally the story of me being

a community manager. Wait a minute, I should be making the complaints. And then it is kind of a bummer ending of just like, Lisa says, you can't beat big business. Yeah. Oof, bummer. Yes, you can't beat big business. There's just no room for the little guy.

Trust in yourself and you can achieve anything. You know, if we get through to just that one little girl, it'll all be worth it. Yes. Particularly if that little girl happens to pay $46,000 for that doll. What? Oh, nothing. Kudos to you, Lisa. Kudos.

That's a great line reading, but it feels like that's a very small investment for an entire line of dolls. I think that amount funded a year of podcasts for me. We weren't making dolls. Okay, so like... And shipping them to stores. Maybe it's $46,000 each to recoup it? Oh, maybe. It may be due to stupid math. It isn't like, did you see an average of how many people...

No, I saw that as they made $10,000 and shipped them to a certain number of stores. I see. And it cost them $46,000 to make all of them. And if they sold only one, then that one doll cost $46,000. That's how I saw it as. All the dolls they make cost $46,000 to make.

If you're a reclusive billionaire and a little girl comes to your house asking for advice, give her $46,000. Be as cool as Bill Murray was in Rushmore just like, here's $10,000. ever she won. Be as cool as Bill Murray was in Rushmore. Just like, here's $10,000. Just build this thing. And Homer cannot resist playing on the big keyboard again. I love he doesn't remember the label of her name.

He doesn't remember Stacy's name. Marge, Lisa, lady, if you'll excuse me, I've got something very important to attend to. Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Cybernetic Mask has just requested my friendship on Facebook right now. That's really him from Beyond the Grave. Absolutely is. Yeah, I do like Homer does not get that he's causing damage and people don't want this. You know, he's just like, I'm just looking at a movie. It's fine.

Yeah, so that, I mean, that was a great episode. What are we at? I think this could be our longest one yet. I don't know. I'm sure it is. We went into every single tiny detail. Yeah, you learned about the history of Barbie? No, I don't think it is. The Barbie Liberation Organization.

This has to be our longest one. Springfield was 136 minutes. Or, sorry, an hour and 36 minutes. We've beaten it. Just there. Maybe. We'll see. Any final thoughts on this?

I mean, I think we said a lot. I mean, so good, so great. Abe's story is great. Lisa's story is great. I think they're equally served. There's not one bit. I mean, you could say that the grandpas could maybe have been written a little more, but I

didn't feel it was underserved in that every joke was great, that it holds up really well to time, too. Unfortunately, sexism is still a thing. But it's most dated jokes about improv Malibu Stacy are jokes about dated dolls. And they would be dated today, too.

As a result, they're timeless, and it rules. I would buy a live at the Improv Station. I would buy that. Comes with a brick wall. Especially for 89 cents, I'd buy that. I'd buy that for 89 cents. I really like this. The only thing I would cut, I believe,

was cut in the syndicated versions, the latter two boardroom sequences. They're not killer jokes. You don't need those boardrooms to know they'd make the new hat. Yeah, I mean, the joke of the guy throwing the brick at the house and Homer not realizing it is okay, but it could be cut. I'm almost positive they were cut for syndication.

I'm sure, yeah. Yeah, they don't affect anything. So, yeah, like I said, this is my all-time favorite ever. Nice. Because it's so jammed packed with story, quotable stuff, cynicism, angry feminism that ends up not getting you anywhere and costing you money

and making you just not trust big business. Don't trust big business, children. They're just trying to sell you a new hat. Ultimately, that is the message. Also, old people should not work. And Diana is my all-time favorite ever. And I hope to continue doing 302010 with you. Thank you.

No more girls on Talking Simpsons. More Diana's, more gooder. Small-time businesses need your money more so, people. Patreon.com

slash LazerTime. We need your help now more than ever. We're understaffed. Love you guys. Thank you so much for supporting the show and as a thank you

to the people who made it happen. Talking Simpsons Season 1 and 3 season wrap-ups are exclusive to patreon.com slash LazerTime. But Bob hasn't started the official outro yet.

No, but thank you for listening. This has been Talking Simpsons. And I have been your host, Bob Mackie. You can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo. And my other writing gig is Something Awful. Every other Thursday for the past 12 years, I've written a comedy article and I won't stop until I die. Regardless of how unfunny I become. I'll send you a JPEG of a gold watch.

I get a JPEG of like McDonald's bucks, but it's all worth it. And my other podcast is Retronauts. Go to retronauts.com or look for Retronauts in your podcast device or iTunes or whatever. You will find our podcast. We've been doing it independently for almost four years now, and there's like five years of episodes

before that if you can find them. But every week, every Monday, we have a new episode with a new topic. So if you want to listen to the show, find a topic that you like to hear and you will like the show. And we've all been on it. Chris and Henry, rather, have been on quite a few.

Yeah, Zelda Quiz. I mean, you could have me on it, but it would mostly be me going like, what's that guy's name? He looks stupid. His name should be Stupid Head. He looks like the Carmen Sandiego PBS game show. I did.

Hey, there we go. Well, we don't have an episode about that. We do have an episode about Bart vs. the Space Mutants, a really good one to get into. I keep pimping it, but I think if you're a fan of Talking Simpsons and you hear that one, you will know what Retronauts is about.

We go into as excruciating of detail as we do with The Simpsons, only with video games, and we try to have fun too. So find Retronauts wherever you listen to podcasts. Yeah. And just to plug later time, the two episodes I would like you to listen to

if you love this episode as much as we do. Who is the oldest character in the toy aisle? The answer might surprise you because it was based on a very specific toy aisle on a very specific day. And also in conjunction with that, we did a quiz where I just rattled off a name and asked Henryry grim i

know i think michael actually your husband and uh and and you henry yeah if this is ninja turtle he-man or transformer the lesser known uh characters yeah i remember that he's good time it's a good one and i'm h-e-n-e-r-e-y-g on twitter you can follow me there and it's already set up at patreon.com slash laser It has a ton of exclusive things, but especially Talking Simpsons related, and it helps pay the bills and keep this podcast studio going and this weekly show going.

You can talk to me online about classic movies, mostly at LeCineNerd. L-E-C-I-N-E-N-E-R-D. I've been asked to spell it out more because it's hard. It sounds like Roger. And I'm also on the Laser Time Show 302010. We look back on this week 30 years ago, 20 years ago, and 10 years ago. So if you want to hear me complain about being old and being a woman, that's the place to hear it, baby.

Yes. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week when Homer goes into deep space. We'll see you then. As long as it's never stupid. Wow. Infotainment.