Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons LIVE - The Many Jobs of Homer Simpson

Episode Date: February 16, 2018

(Recorded live at PianoFight in San Francisco on January 28, 2018.) Talking Simpsons breaks format once again for our second live show as we explore the greatest hits of Homer's side gigs. Though The Simpsons started out as a fairly realistic show about a guy with a working-class job, it wasn't long before Homer found himself in space, part of a Grammy-winning band, and behind the wheel of a monorail as a mono-thingie-guy. Join us for an exciting exploration of Homer's adventures in employment, and thrill as our great audience decides which job reigns supreme! Special thanks to PianoFight for being such a great and accommodating venue!

I heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, ahoy, everybody. Welcome to the Talking Simpsons Live Show. Thank you so much for coming. Yeah, you too. Hi. Oh, wow. This is great. Well, I'm your host, of course. I'm the head bee guy, Bob Mackey.

And who is with me today? Henry Gilbert. That name again is Henry Gilbert. And who else is here? And I'm Chris Santista, the rocking dog. And more on that later. So, who out there has heard of us? Whoa. Boo. All of you.

Wait a minute. Better question. Who out here gives us money? Yes. All right. Anyone with a lowered hand owes Wait a minute. Better question. Who out here gives us money? Yes! All right. Anyone with a lowered hand owes us a drink after the show. So before we begin, a small dog, not unlike Lassie, would just run over in the parking lot. And I'm very sad to announce that. Now, who's ready to laugh?

So as on our podcast, Chris, do you have a history lesson for us? I do. Normally, you guys have heard the show before? And normally I say what happened on the week the show aired and we're doing this live and I don't know anyone listening to it and this day isn't special yet. So I can't say like Bill Gates bought something and OJ stabbed somebody because I don't know what's happened today.

But I wanted to get a little bit of news that will last for two years. All right? So you want to know what happened on this two years in history? Does this premise make sense? I think it does. Okay. Okay. Hey, no talkers.

So here we go. Give me the little dun-dun-dun. Dun-dun-dun. Oh, boy, Bobby. Nuclear threats from North Korea loom. Hollywood reels from the latest allegations of sexual misconduct. And boy, howdy, did the president really step in at this time. Ah. I have one

Chris from the future. What's that? Bill Cosby dies. Oh shit. His hair before being executed in prison. He's gonna be executed in prison. We all know it. You see how happy everybody got? Yes. They're Simpsons fans. You've grown up to hate Cosby before any of this shit came out.

We're the new kings of comedy. Move over. So in case you don't know and most of you do know we cover the Simpsons fans, you've grown up to hate Cosby before any of this shit came out. We're the new kings of comedy. Move over. So in case you don't know, and most of you do know, we cover The Simpsons in chronological order. We do episode by episode. We're in season seven now. And you're probably really excited for us to do that, but we're not doing that tonight. That's right. No refunds. Today, we're doing a much different topic, and that topic is the many jobs of Homer Simpson. Homer has had many jobs over the years, and we're going to talk about our favorites and in the end we're going to have you

vote for the for your favorites of our favorites yes we're going to use a very uh informal applause meter for this so style it was pretty accurate in our last live show that's true that's true oh the one where nobody cheered for me what What's important is that Chris lost. And that's what I cared most about. But he won by losing. So to introduce the topic, so Once Upon a Time the Simpsons was a show about a working class guy trying to feed his family and trying to make it in the go-go 90s.

And then after about a season, that got really old. So they started giving him all kinds of wacky jobs to do. And the 90s were very different than today. In the 90s, a man could go through four or five jobs a year and then safely return to his normal job when he failed. And right now, there are no jobs, which is why we're doing this here. For free.

I had to pay for that drink. Yeah, what the hell? Yeah, in today's gig economy, I guess somebody would have the same job every time, but not be able to afford mortgage or children. Yeah, in today's gig economy, I guess somebody would have the same job every time, but not be able to afford mortgage or children. Yeah, or shelter. Yeah, not shelter. So before we begin, let's talk about Homer's core profession, safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant.

So if you're a mega nerd, you will know that Homer was not always a safety inspector. He got that job. He started as a nuclear technician hired under President Ford's project, Bootstrap. Thank you, President Ford. In the course of doing the show, we got to revisit the first season, and it's really weird. The first five episodes, Homer

wasn't the safety inspector. You know the intro where he pulls the rod out of his... That was Homer's normal job. He hasn't done that in 30 years. He was a rod swapper? Yeah, he was a rod swapper. But he hasn't done that in 30 years. He was a rod swapper? Yeah, he was a rod swapper. But he hasn't done that in 30 years. He's been safety inspector because of after a suicide attempt. Do you remember Homer Odyssey?

How come no one laughed at suicide attempts? It's episode three of the series. The dad tries to kill himself, and that's why The Simpsons became a hit. Yeah. The family just looks at him like, you were going to kill yourself? He's like, not anymore.

He couldn't even hide it. He couldn't like throw a razor over his shoulder. He had a boulder tied to his neck. That's how he committed suicide in the 90s, millennials. I mean, that would be, I think that lends itself more to comedy than a 40-year-old father putting a knife to his throat. Much different show.

It's more of a family guy kind of joke. We won't talk about that here. Family guy, right? Dude, Seth MacFarlane is here. He's a patron. He's too busy being a movie star, and he shouldn't be. So let's move on to, so we covered Homer's job at the nuclear plant. And he got that job despite not knowing anything about the profession,

not knowing anything about the field. And the jobs he had before that, they really had nothing to do with his current position. So in order, his jobs were the windmill turning guy at Sir Putz a lot, uh, that could easily be replaced by like a mechanism. He did that job,

uh, for about eight years. And then he was a trainee at the gulp and blow. Uh, and he moved from that to nuclear technicians. So as you can see, uh, President Ford, it was all him. It had nothing to do with the meritocracy or anything like that. Homer never made it to the guy who hands out putters.

No, no, no. He was definitely qualified for it. The pitch and putt. Is it Sir Putzalot or is that later? No, it was Sir Putzalot. The pitch and putt's a different place. We should argue about this forever. So we know he's a safety inspector,

but it's not really clear what he does. I think the show has made it apparent that he just has to watch one meter and alert somebody if that meter goes beyond a certain threshold. And that's been pointed out in episodes like Homer Defined, where he spills the grape stuff from the donut on the meter

and the plant almost melts down. And also King Size Homer, where he works from home after getting a ton of weight and he is monitoring the core temperature. So again, something he does can be replaced by a simple mechanism. Yeah, or chicken he can eat. Yeah, a chicken that he ate or a brick tied to a lever. Or a hound dog or a drinking bird.

The way you put it is when the grape jelly was over that button, that's literally the only thing he needed to watch. And he failed that. Has the plant only thing he needed to watch. Yes. And he failed that. Has the plant mounted down? No. Ah.

Yes. So is there anything else we need to discuss about the nuclear plant? No. I mean, he's just been in and out of there so many times. The way he gets other jobs, it's actually a pretty awesome job that he can just leave whenever he feels like it. Exactly. That's true.

I'm pretty sure Burns has explicitly fired him like 10 times on the show. Several times. It's good that Burns does not remember who he is. That's very vital to being rehired at the point. I don't know. Burns said he had the sword of Damocles right over Homer's head. I'm sure it's just waiting to drop. Any day now.

I'm in one of these days. Yeah, and we should point out that in older episodes of the show, and maybe the first two seasons, they would at least build in a scene where it's like, okay, this man is supporting his family and leaving a job. We need to make sure the audience knows he has things figured out. How much time do you want off? Four years? Five years? Yes, like talking to a supervisor or at least doing that.

But after a certain point, it's like, no, you know what? He can just do whatever he wants. And if you complain, you're a nerd, and we do. And that's why we're here. I'd like to think that's how safe the Springfield nuclear power plant is. Yeah. You can walk away for that amount of time. Well, you're a nerd, and we do, and that's why we're here. I'd like to think that's how safe the Springfield nuclear power plant is. Yeah. You can walk away for that amount of time.

Well, it's a union gig, so... Oh. It's kind of a life, that job. More anti-union sentiment from Talking Simpsons. No, the Simpsons really hates unions, guys. It's very strange. Yes, another thing from the 90s that we'll never have again. So, let's talk about jobs.

Who wants to go first? We each have our own selection of three jobs. And from that selection, we'll each choose one that's our favorite. And that will be the one you vote for. Yes, it is confusing. And I'll explain this again at the end of the show. Just know you're going to vote at the end. But think of these things.

But there's some that aren't going to be, like, Dancing Homer isn't on this list because, I mean, he's just a wannabe mascot. He's been a better guy in a costume in other episodes. Yeah, and I think we talked about, we did cut out the job that he worked for Hank Scorpio because that was not the interesting part of that episode. In fact, it's not really clear what he does outside of telling people to type faster.

So that's not very fun to talk about. So no, but I'll go first, though, with my pick, which is Astronaut. Astronaut is Homer's job. Oh, we got some cheers. Fans of the astronaut, yes. That was in the classic season five episode, Deep Space Homer, written by Dave Merkin, directed by Wes Archie.

No, I shouldn't say these things, because I don't have the notes for all the other ones. We can't edit this out. Anyway, now we'll look stupid. No, in Deep Space Homer, he became an astronaut after calling nasa to demand tang and explained about uh the the launches but he it was a job he lucked into he was not correct to get but it is the highest status job i'm pretty sure homer has ever had is astronaut it's just that i mean he's probably he's had jobs that pay more or that even get more,

you know, buzz, but astronaut had the most responsibility, had a PR team behind him from the government advertising, a regular man

can go into space. It had the most national pride behind it, I think. And then America was proud of Homer. To put it in perspective, has anybody seen Apollo 13?

Gary Sinise practiced for 20 years to go into space and couldn't. He had a cold? What was it? I forget what happened, but he couldn't go to space. Barney was in a bar and he almost got to go. I think it would involve space dust, Chris.

But Homer went through all the training of being an astronaut, of drinking medicine-y liquids and turning into Popeye, and he got sent into space. He had the right, what's that stuff? Oh, yeah. We do the show to explain references like that.

Yeah, exactly. To the right stuff. Who has seen the right stuff under the age of 40? I'll show you, 40-year-olds. Apollo 13 wasn't out yet. They couldn't reference the better movie. I don't know. The right stuff is maybe good. Space

truckers. I haven't seen it either. But that Homer put all this work into being an astronaut, though he also gets kind of carried along the way. Like he was not the right person to go into space and still makes it work. I mean, he was hired just to appeal to the Tim Allen watchers of the world

as the working class dim-witted sch slub, basically. And also while Homer went into space, he almost killed Buzz Aldrin and did kill a bunch of ants and sent them into the void of space. And then almost, if you think about when they crash land into that media convention,

he almost killed all of them, too. That's true. So Homer had a very high potential body count on that one. So again, more power. And lastly, not to make a Tim Allen reference,

but lastly, that the astronaut thing I love the most because it was controversial within the show. The Matt Groening on the commentary

for the episode is very clear of like, I didn't want Homer to go into space. It's too crazy. This was supposed to be a guy who works in... I'm Matt Grading and I'll never make a space show ever. No spaceships, no future stuff.

Too ridiculous. It's far too silly. What, is there going to be a sassy robot there? No. Yeah, so Matt Grading was against it. Other writers were not fans of it. You can see that too in the episode Homer's Enemy where Frank Grimes

Grimey as his friends called him Frank Grimes is like you were an astronaut, you went into space, you, Homer, and it's just You've never been? Frank Grimes represented the assholes in the Simpsons audience who were just like

it's impossible for him to go into space and then be a normal guy after that. He's been an astronaut. Frank Grimes entered the show to destroy it. It is different now. There was that guy who was in space and we all loved him until he lost his YouTube channel. What's that guy's name? Exactly! He sang

a song in space and no one remembers him anymore. Did he film a corpse in space? Is this the right guy? Chris Hatfield? Let's hear it. No one knows. No one cares about space anymore. You people have no problem.

So yeah, the astronaut would have been seen as a shark jumping moment, I think, if it happened in season 16. Or the 50s. But since it happened in season five, it's a beloved memory. It really is. It really is.

And is that your spiel about the astronauts? That's the astronauts, yeah. But I'd like to know what you think. I have a good one, and that's from the episode Homer the Smithers, where Homer becomes Smithers. To fight Smithers, you must become him. So in case you forget about the episode in question,

after being insulted by Lenny with a brutal thumbs up and his beer reeked of beer and pretzel bread, Smithers blamed himself for that assault and Burns made him go on a vacation. So in order to get someone who wouldn't outshine him, Smithers hired Homer to replace him. And that was after doing a search in the nuclear power plant database

for the words lazy, clumsy, dim-witted, and monstrously ugly. Unfortunately... Put your hands up, people. Yep, that's also me. So, that brought up every employee in the plant, so of course, he says nuts to this, I'll just get Homer Simpson. And again, at that point, that is the show

saying, yes, we don't need to build in reasons for Homer to do things anymore, including Smithers telling Burns, yes, all of the recent events in your life have revolved around him in some way. I think the rest of Springfield by this point has realized the Simpsons have a gravity that pulls all the rest of them towards

them. So they just give up. They're like, I guess I'll just do a thing with the Simpsons. They are the most important people in that universe. So Homer's job is basically, as Smithers explains it, it's not one job, it's more like 2,800 smaller jobs, including lying to Congress, light typing, things like that. And why I chose this is because this is season seven Homer. He's less of a jerk.

He's really devoted to being a good Smithers, even though he makes it bad at every turn. He's so devoted that he is willing to tape Little Rascals instead of watch it at 630 in the morning. That is how devoted he is to being the new Smithers. And he gives Mr. Burns all the updates he needs, like when his car has been towed, and when his car has been crushed into his cube, and when his cube needs to be moved. So these are all important things to do. But most importantly, I think, Homer, as Smithers, why I think this job is important, he did what we all want to do as employees, and that's punch our boss in the face.

And he was not only not arrested, it all worked out. He got a fruit basket. Mr. Burns learned how to be self-reliant because he was too afraid of his assistant to rely on him. And, yeah, I mean, that, I think, it all worked out for Homer in that case. I don't know. How do you guys feel about it? Burns learned how to drive through that violence. That's right.

I'm a motorist. His toting was on par. It really was. And genuine. Is that when he caught cereal on fire? It was. It was a great moment. Homer over the fiery cereal with his eyes just going, hmm.

This is awesome to do live. I didn't have to make a joke at all. I just reminded you of The Simpsons. He did. That's the whole point of this show. We don't have to work hard. We're just have to make a joke at all. I just reminded you of The Simpsons. He did. That's the whole point of this show. We don't have to work hard. We're just reciting jokes funnier people wrote. So thanks for showing up.

This is what a parasite looks like. Yes. Yeah, Homer even punched a hole in the microwave and had like a kebab with like toast and eggs and bacon on it. And then we also got the great line about donuts being ethnic food. Yes, no ethnic food.

No, but he tried, Homer tried really hard. He could have, they could have done the episode all the same with Homer just not trying at all and just Burn yelling at him. But then you wouldn't feel bad for Homer. Like, you have to hate Burns as well. And this was also when Burns finally learned Homer's name.

That's true, that's true. And I mean, he really earns punching Mr. Burns in the face for all the work he puts in I feel like he gets one punch and that's fine Ultimately He gives Smithers back his reason for living By again mauling Mr. Burns This time on accident

By pushing him out of a window in a fight with Smithers That bear finally went to good use That awful bear that's in the background of every Mr. Burns shot It actually was a prop in an episode Who knew By wounding Mr. Burns Mr. It actually was a prop in an episode. Who knew? So yeah, by wounding Mr. Burns, Mr. Burns learned that he needs Smithers in his life and Smithers got his job back.

And I think Homer tried and he also made Mr. Burns and Smithers realize how important their codependent relationship really is. And that's what means the most in life. Bad relationships. Anybody here want to ship Smithers and Burns? So yes, that's my exploration of Homer ship Smithers and Burns? So yes, that's my exploration of Homer as Smithers.

Chris? Well, mine is from the episode Homer vs. the 18th Amendment, and it's the job of beer baron. Right? It's more of a criminal profession, I think. Organized crime. No reason. Oh, because I love

alcohol and I have a problem. No, because I love that and I have a problem. No, because I love that. I love historically all the great things Prohibition has brought us. A good Simpsons episode. Organized crime. Opium, which is like beer you can smoke. If anybody has any opium, see me. NASCAR.

NASCAR is the product of bootleggings. People are nodding their head. They've heard this story, right? These fucking hayseeds running moonshine at Texarkana, clocking themselves. We've got to build a circle we can drive in and see who drives the fastest. Sorry, they could only turn left on those runs, though.

They were easily caught by the police. It was. I only know that because it's sort of a plot point in Cars 3, and I accidentally watched Cars 3. Honestly, Cars 3 may be the best Cars movie. That's a low bar. That's like saying I have the prettiest turd. It has the least cable guy content for a minute.

Yeah, they cut down on him. But I love the Beer Baron episode. I love the understated performance of Dave Thomas. No applause for Dave Thomas. That is so sad. Guys, he founded Wendy's. He founded Wendy's. He died today. Depending on when you're listening.

I don't know. We did, by the way, behind the scenes thing. We made fun of Mort Walker on an episode that is yet to go up and he just died yesterday. You know what I say to that? Good. Nobody ever laughed at Beetle Bailey. Now you get to suck in God's newspaper. That was really mean.

This is really all about slandering 94-year-old man in the show, ultimately. But what I wanted to do, because I am a shallow individual who only cares about money, is look into the amount of money you make by bootlegging. Because not only is this a good job for Homer because it's fucking glamorous, isn't it? But bootlegging alcohol, I found a story from the New Yorker from 1926 called A Bootleggers Story, How I Started. And he made $10,000 a year in 1926 fucking flapper money,

which translates to $140,000 a year. For slinging fake hooch. Pretty good. You probably have some in your bathroom and don't even know about it. Check your toilet tank when you get home. And on the risk factor, I looked into the prison time. None of your fucking jobs had any real risk. This is prison time. And I couldn't believe it because what's the penalty for bootlegging?

Mash, anybody else from the south had a little mash moonshine? No, just me? It's cool. Penalties for bootlegging, maximum five years in prison, which is one year less than pirating movies. So, yeah. You can poison people all you want and get less time than for fucking torrenting Now You See Me 2.

Wow. So, what if I artisanally age Ecto Cooler? Don't share it with anybody. Just for me. This is something that's waiting to happen. Somebody needs to make a fake alcoholic Ecto Cooler. Yeah, for millennials. Do we have any ecto-cooler here?

What? No. Why did I say that? I was trying to segue into someone getting me a drink. It's got to be orange and have a picture of Slimer on it. But Homer is beer-bearing, too. He took a lot of pride in it. He did.

He loved the fame of being a criminal. I don't want to get mushy, but we love podcasts and made a podcast. Homer didn't love space. When you get to do something that you love, even though it's dumb, I don't know why he used bowling balls.

He built a tunnel. Tubes. There could have been tubes, but it was just to roll bowling balls out there. But the ingenuity is nice and the idea that he almost got his house on fire with fake booze. Exploding bathtubs is pretty great. If you're a man, you've always wanted to make booze in your bathtub, right? I'm not pulling that. You're getting some light nods.

It's okay. It's a cliche. It happens. Just to roll around in it. It has to be white. It happens to me all the time. I want to make beer in my bathtub. I'd also say the beer baron is one of the few Homer jobs that he gets to do with Bart.

Yeah, exactly. He can pass it down to his son. By do with Bart, you mean incriminate him. Yes, yeah. I mean, he's a minor. He'll get away with it. But that's not my favorite job by a long shot. Thank you. That is not my favorite job by a long shot.

I'm trying to make him do it again. Somebody just shouted, no, he won't, from the audience. No, he won't from the audience. No, he won't. Thank you. Mine is also mob affiliated in a way. It's boxing. It's Homer's job as a boxer. Getting some support for that.

Who's a big fan of CTE? Yes. In season eight, the Homer they fall made long before we knew about the horrors of CTE and concussions. To its credit, if you've looked into CTE, it explains why it can't happen to Homer because his brain isn't pinging around on the walls.

It will never hit his skull. That's why he can survive. Despite the multiple lesions we've heard about. Yeah, that's true. Well, also they didn't spot the crayon in his brain when they scanned his brain. There's some inconsistencies in this show. I think we're the first to point that out, too.

I will have you know, Hibbert's thumb is not covering his brain scan in that episode. And Bender was always slightly on his side. I love that. Bender's never been on his back before. What are you talking about? But yeah, so Homer, through defending his son in front of Moe, and Moe seeing that he can

be punched in the face an unlimited number of times, Moe turns Homer into technically a boxer, but more like a punching bag for hobos. That's right. In the episode, I believe he was called a brick hit house. Which is great. He's fighting for a sandwich.

He's hungry. Thanks to old kid Mo, he set up Homer with a bunch of fights to make him at least enough money to wax his car whenever he feels like it. And yeah, it identified that Homer can't be knocked out, apparently. And so meanwhile, though, in this episode, we also get to meet Don King, but not really Don King, just a man who looks just like him and has just as much money.

Lucius Sweet. That just tells me there's a real-life corollary to every person in the real world in Springfield. Yeah, I believe that. But in that episode, Homer then goes from just a carny attraction pretty much to fighting their version of Mike Tyson. After Mike Tyson gets out of jail, Dredrick Tatum. And I

think that's another reason I like the boxer one in that episode, because it was ripped from the headlines of 90s boxing, which involved people complaining fights were too short. Do you remember that? When Tyson got out of jail and kept beating people up in one minute, but was a rapist so he couldn't have sponsorships, so

he got them. That guy he beat got punched out by a slice of Pizza Hut pizza. Because he was such a bad boxer. That's the endorsement he got. He had the physique of Tor Johnson. Just kind of shove him a little. We speculated that it was someone like, yeah, Tor Johnson applause.

I dig that. Yeah. One loser in the crowd. So it was awesome to see Homer got all this fame and fortune being the white guy who gets beat up by Mike Tyson, which was like a rotating job in the world of boxing at one time.

And the rise of Butterbean. Yeah. Butterbean was a guy who did factory blue-collar work. Some people are nodding, but he's like a big, out-of-shape, bald dude with broad shoulders that took Ketzwell, but also hit back. Well, for our crossover wrestling fans, they'll remember him from his match

against Bart Gunn at WrestleMania 15. Instead of the Royal Rumble, which our friends did not. Yeah. They'd rather watch fake sports than actual comedy. Than fake comedy. We'll name them at the end of the show. Just wait.

But okay, yes. And also, I like him being a boxer because Homer is not an athlete in the slightest. Unlike when he at least worked out a ton to become a mountain climber in that episode. In this one, it is that Homer stays at the same level of poor health as a boxer. And then also, just how much you pity Homer when he is in his fight with Dredrick Tatum. The punch coming down

on top of his head. And just the way Homer goes, It really is worse than the episode where he's fighting the bigger brother Tom. He gets uppercutted over a fire hydrant and lands with his head on the concrete. This is more painful than it looks.

Yeah, but I wince more at that punch, too. I feel like Homer's skull broke. There are a lot more painful drawings. And lastly, you got to see, ripped from the headlines, Fan Man show up. Fan Man. Who's old enough to remember Fan Man?

I'm not, but it was the coolest thing that's ever happened. The Tor Johnson guy knows Fan Man. Yeah, the Tor Johnson guy gets every reference. Simpsons is made for you. The boxer is my second favorite. Not my first, but my second favorite. I see. Well, up next,

I'm going to talk about Homie the Clown, a great episode. Oh, boy. I'm going to steal this criticism from Chris, who made a really great point in that Homie the Clown is not the best Simpsons episode, but it might be the funniest episode. It is just wall-to-wall gags,

mostly of Homer getting hurt. Burn that seat. I'm trying to get over there. That needs to be the new... Yes. Also, Flanders getting shot. Yes, in the heat holes discussion. Yes, the over there thing is from when Krusty is pointing the lovable child over to Homer.

It should be more, yes, no one's laughing. It's fucking a good line, though. It's a good line. We're going to make it a good line. We will. Come use at the bar. Over there. After the show.

Is it working? So, previously in the show, I think you guys are going to agree with me that Homer had no affinity for Krusty the Clown or clowning in general or the glory of being a clown. Well, he's a human surrogate. We all feel that way, right? That's true. I mean, so, I mean, when the show sets this up, it's like basically Homer is so susceptible to advertising because he is stupid. He has to buy everything that's

advertised to him on New Billboard Day, and one of those is enrolling in Krusty's Clown College. And you can't eat that. it's true. I mean, you can try, but it would not make for a great episode. But this episode actually digs deep into Simpsons lore because the creation of Krusty the Clown

is basically the show telling you that Bart has no respect for Homer, but he has respect for a clown that looks exactly like Homer and who is a much worse person. So it only made sense that Homer become crusty at some point. And that's a joke they didn't

really ever end up exploring, but it is real that Groening, Bart is not supposed to recognize his hero in Homer. In this episode, they have to remove crusty items from Homer so they don't look identical. He does not have the top of the hair because he has a slightly pointier nose. He doesn't have the line under the hair because he has a slightly pointier nose.

He doesn't have the line under his eye. Homer has a painted on nose, not the circular nose and no tuft of hair on top. Otherwise they'd look the same. Well it's also that this was a thing Groening liked in the first season. He even said like, oh we'll have a reveal that Homer's been secretly Krusty this whole time. Which wouldn't even work

in the first, in Krusty's first appearance, which was in the shorts. Yeah. They show Homer watching him on a live broadcast. So even from the first short, Krusty is not Homer. That was never what they were. And then they had dinner together. Yeah.

They eventually had dinner together. Well, I mean, Homer ID'd him in the courtroom. That's true. Yes. This is like the clone saga or something. I don't want to talk anymore about this. So, okay, so this is the, so even though Homer has no interest in clowning,

it's the perfect profession for him because the pants fit him extremely well. Baggy! Again, great one-liners all throughout. I was being baggy! Baggy! Krusty's just mad that, like, Homer's finding joy in what Krusty hates.

Krusty really hates being a clown. It's obvious. So Homer majored in squirting flowers. We see a great bank shot. He learned to create balloon animals without blinding children in the room. And he learned that if a wealthy dowager shows up at your party, you have to kill her. Are there any wealthy dowagers here tonight? No, this crowd is far too young.

We do have one. Yes, okay. Well, somebody get her out of here. This is going to be a dangerous night. Oh, boy. Such a problem with demographics. So just like with Homer the Smithers, Homer

puts us all into this, but he's very bad at it. As we see in the famous Don't, don't, he's already dead. Sorry, stop, stop, he's already dead. He's unveiling the new Krusty Burger. Check his medical bracelet. So in case you don't know this scene, Homer mortally wounds the Estonian dwarf

who always has some creative role in The Simpsons. He's either standing in for Lisa or standing in for Milhouse when he's hurt. I mean, Homer's so into it that he's willing to kill a man to stay in character, which tells me a lot. Though partially I blame that on Homer getting a head injury

from dropping through the Krusty Burger stuff. That's true. He might just be very confused. There was a lot of head trauma, including when he shows up at Milhouse's house and hits a tree and then seconds later awkwardly flies out of the windshield. I think that, though, maybe fits too for Homer,

why he's so good at being Krusty is that he's indestructible. That is true. He can do all the clowning he wants and not show any damage. I mean Krusty has addicted to nicotine. He's got a crippling addiction. He's got a lot of problems. He bets on the generals. That's true. Jesus Christ. Both him and Homer have had

open heart surgery as well. That is true. Wow. Oh my gosh. So I want to say that what Homer gets out of being a clown is the perks of being mistaken for crusty. And we don't see many of them, but we do see he gets a great free can of paint. Look at it. Look at it. And he also

gets a complimentary issue of gigantic asses, which I have tried to find gigantic asses on the shelf and I'm asked to leave. Barnes and Noble will not let me in. Why, they think you're insulting them by saying, like, do you have a gigantic ass? Oh, it's how you ask.

Okay. So, I mean, when we get to the end of the episode, I think you guys might agree with me, and I hope you do. You know I do. This episode ends with one of the greatest pieces of animation in The Simpsons history in which Homer and Krusty are forced to perform this trick on a tiny bicycle together in tandem,

going all across the bar, across the pool table, all these different camera angles. And Homer, we learn that Homer will perform best under the threat of death. So that should be a common element in his life. If he wants to get something done, have someone hold a gun to him off screen.

Well, technically, though, if you consider him almost causing nuclear meltdowns, he's really on the verge of death all the time at his job. He is spreading the death around a bit, but that is fair. He's also almost drinking acid at his job and not even realizing it. His face would have been red.

You will see, I like animation cells, and I want to find that one that is just Homer and Krusty's taint. There's no character model for underneath the Simpsons' bodies. But the camera goes there as they ride over it.

Yes, you're nodding. No, it's not funny. I'm making a point. Someone had to lovingly draw that and send it overseas. Yes. I mean, that episode is one of David Silverman's best works.

It really is, yeah. It's a really pretty, and if you're an Italian, I remember my dad laughing because I haven't been stereotyped on TV in years. This is so, I know, and I know.

It was really funny. He was losing his shit. That character did not stick around though. I know. Too offensive. My little background jokes. So yeah, that's my little spiel about Homie the Clown,

and I think you'll agree with me, it's great. The Simpsons will be right back. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you home and auto insurance personalized to your needs weird I don't remember saying that part visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's

really big on care did I mention that we care? Hey, this is Hank Azaria. You're listening to Talking Simpsons on Lazer Time. I didn't know that was a thing. Hello, everybody. It's me, Bob Mackie, and a fine Mahawk to you all. Now, I know Henry normally does these interstitial segments, but I'm here making a special appearance to talk to you about the Talking Simpsons Patreon

and to sell you things. First off, I really hope you're enjoying this recording of our second live show. It was a blast. I met some amazing people. And I want to tell you, please look forward to more of these because the venue liked us, we liked the venue, and we want to start doing a lot more shows, because we just had a blast. Now, you're listening to this on the free feed, and you might be wondering, even though we talk a lot about it on the show, what is up with the Talking Simpsons

Patreon? Well, I'll tell you, it is a great way to get tons and tons and tons of podcast content for just $5 a month that includes all of season one of talking simpsons all of our season wrap-ups the audio versions of our explorations of deleted scenes from seasons five and six so far and every season after that all of talking critic our monthly community podcasts coming soon talking futurama will be exclusive to the talking simpsons patreon also 23 episodes of talking critic and i i there's just so much to list we have interviews with people who work on the show like mike scully maybe pawn bill oakley there is so much going on there and it's only five dollars a month at patreon.com slash talking simpsons remember

that's patreon.com slash talking simpsons and again it will be the only place to find our upcoming talking futurama series but enough with the sales pitch i just wanted to let you listeners know that henry and i are super hard at work on our two new series talking futurama and our all-purpose animation podcast we hit our eight thousand dollar goal in january and it's only been increasing since then, and we can't wait to show you what we've been working on. So please stay tuned to that. In the meantime, enjoy the rest of this live show. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell

our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care? Well, I'm going to give my second favorite, and I feel like it's going to be red meat for the crowd, but I'm going to shit on it a little bit, too. Whoa. Because it comes from the episode Marge vs. the Monorail. Boo, the episode sucks. No, don't even try.

I'm just kidding. I love the episode. But the job as a monorail conductor, like, is that technically a job? I mean, technically, it's monothinnyguy. It's monothinnyguy. Is monothinnyguy a job? Let's look it up on Glassdoor,

which I did do, by the way. Hold on, I'll get to that in a second. But the idea that, like, what's the difference between your kid and his train set and a monorail conductor the monitor your kid doesn't ride in his train set like it's kind of the same skill set it's easy as fuck uh uh but what i ended up looking up i would i desperately wanted to and i spent hours doing it looking up on glass door i wanted to find a disneyland monorail conductor talking shit on their employer and i i wanted to find i wanted to find a Disneyland monorail conductor talking shit on their employer.

And I wanted to find that out. I wanted to be like, they're not even telling you. It's like a raccoon holocaust on that rail. One star. They didn't care at all. I could not hotbox in the bathroom. One time the train took off without me. I didn't even know.

I wanted to find some. But they classify every job review under Walt Disney World. So there's 6,000 jobs, which is a really interesting read, by the way. See how Disney employees are upset or how much they love their company. But what I... Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. Last

door plug. We would like an advertisement on our show. That'd be pretty cool. I defame my old company. I have some reviews from my old company that I think are suspect and they need to delete. I think they put up fake ones. Your old boss is giving you the cut sign. There's been like four or five star reviews on there recently. I'm like,

come on. HR wrote that one. All right. Focus. Focus. Sorry. Yes. It's not about burning our enemies right now. It's about one of the best episodes of The Simpsons written by Conan O'Brien. And yes, I should have stopped for that haircut

if you're disappointed by how I look. But I did find out from this that monorail conductors in Disneyland, does anybody want to take a stab at how much they make an hour? 23? A lot more than they should? What'd you say?

You were so close. You were so close. Try less! What is it? It's Janet Jackson! What? Did someone just come off the street to yell Janet Jackson? Is this because you can see my nipple? Can you be paid in Janet Jackson's?

Wait, is Janet Jackson on the $20 bill now? If you were my daughter. What is it that they get paid? It is $9 an hour, which puts it $2 above podcasters. So the villainous Walt Disney built the thing that killed the most people and then

paid the conductor minimum wage? Yeah, Walt Disney really went whole fucking hog on the idea of the monorail. It's kind of like if you had a bunch of aqua cars running around. Oh, we do have the cable cars, don't we? Maybe it will crush the minorities. That's kind of embarrassing. It's what? That's true, that's true, but you don't see any monorails

going up and down fucking La Cienega right now. It's maybe in the future. The documentary Roger Rabbit tells the story of that. And if you want to... Take a trolley for a nickel. I love you guys. Let's drink later. If you're laughing that hard at a Roger Rabbit Cloverleaf reference,

we're going to be real good friends. Goddamn. I bought it so I could dismantle it. But yeah, I love the Disney monorail, but it's one of my favorite episodes. It's my favorite job Homer ever had, but it's just the shittiest job he's ever had.

He's a civil servant with no benefits. I think we were talking about on the commentary, like James L. Brooks comes in, who clearly has, he created the show, but has seen like four or five episodes. I'm giving James L. Brooks shit. I'm sure he's more involved. He's like, oh, I love Homer's outfit.

What's the design? You just hear the writers in unison hum. Ugh, Star Wars. So James O. Brooks didn't recognize Marge vs. the Monorail and Star Wars in one sentence. I mean, James O. Brooks is too busy making Mary Tyler Moore to watch Star Wars. It took him 10 years to write. Can't go watching Phantom Menace. He saved his best material for Spanglish,

right? I know. We all know that. Who doesn't have it on standard definition DVD? Wow, I'm getting booed. Bob got booed! But the best... Thank you. Somebody was saying booers. Please yell out Simpsons references. It means I can talk less.

The best thing about being a monorail conductor is an assistant named Bitey. Yes. We almost did it in unison. The cupcake holders are pretty nice. The ability to almost talk to Batman. I feel like I haven't made a good case for this. Well, you know who did get to talk to Batman?

He is my number one Simpsons Homer job, and that is, you can call him at Klondike 5, 3226. That is Mr. Plow. Why don't we sing? Let's all sing along. Mr. Plow, that's my name. That name again is Mr. Plow. Yeah.

I can't believe they were... You guys know the words? That's... I'm surprised. I think Mr. Plow is his best job for a lot of reasons. It was early enough in the run that it was still special that Homer did a different job. Though not far enough that they felt like they had to explain how he did it on top of his job at the power plant,

or if he'd quit the power plant. I like that it had Homer's ingenuity. He's like, yeah, I'll replace my car with a plow and make money off of it. But he could have done that without a costume, without a name, without a new identity. But Homer's just like, yeah, I'm Mr. Plow. I'm going to be the Mr. Plow who plows driveways.

And he does a really good job at it, too. It's one of the jobs Homer is best at. He clears out in front of the retirement castle. He clears out in front of the elementary school. He even takes Ned's money and doesn't plow his driveway. And if I could be a bit randy, he also plows Marge. Oh.

But he does. She really likes the jacket. I mean, come on. It's sweet. Right next to elbow nibbling, that jacket really gets your motor going. Why don't you nibble elbows? In the course of doing this show,

I have so many details about how Marge likes to get dicked that I'm fucking horrible. No, slow, then fast. Lead the jacket off. Slow, then fast. There was a cut scene where she becomes a cop. They cut that too hot for TV.

Oh, yeah, that's right. It's the only time I think we've seen Marge in a bra was in that deleted scene. If you haven't seen it, it's on the Patreon, just $10 a month. We have the hottest Marge videos. Oh, God. I don't know. I've seen some ads for some other hot ones. Did you wonder what all those ads were for on Pornhub?

It goes straight to Talking Simpsons. We made those. But okay, Homer's so good at it, too, that he gets the keys to the city. The only thing that stops Homer from being great at that job is his friend stealing it from him. And God. Yeah, and God eventually stops him. Well, God ruins everything.

Boy, he sure does. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Yeah, and God himself did have to stop that. Maybe that also shows how good Homer was. He was good at plowing to a blasphemous level. That's true. Wow. That's my favorite line of the show so far.

That's true. He is a drunk. He did not get the Linda Ronstadt endorsement that Barney did. Also that Homer is really good at driving the plow in that he got it all the way up for bidding Widow's Peak in that episode. Yeah, you're really good at driving that car in two directions. Again, monorail conditions. Hey, I would say

I would dare anybody here to drive a plow on a rickety bridge and somehow live through it. And I will applaud anybody in this audience who loves a good sorcerer reference. One person! Oh, it's my friend Diana. I will applaud anyone in this audience. I'll applaud anyone in this audience who can admit the Wages of Fear is way better.

It is what it is, Bob. Wages of Fear is very good. This is a different podcast. No, no, let's keep going. Let's just talk about William Friedkin movies. Exorcist. No, Jade. He really didn't care about his actor sitting.

What about Jade? That poor little girl. Killer Joe. Oh, with the one where Matthew McConaughey fucks a chicken wing? That did happen, people. It's rated NC-17 for a reason. But anyway, so yes, Homer is a great driver and great at his job. He gets to meet Adam West, and he snuggles up a storm.

So I would say that that is why Mr. Plow is great. And he's the most memorable. Everyone remembers that one. Does this appeal to you because he doesn't have a boss? I mean, yeah. Doesn't it? He's a boss. He works one month a year.

Again, that's why it's a good job. I'm ready to buy a plow today. All right, so that is my pitch for my number one, and that's the one you'll be voting on after these two say theirs. But vote for me. I'm out. Mine will be the one you're voting on because it is where Homer achieved his most highest degree of worldwide fame, and it's appropriate that tonight

the boring Grammys are happening and you're here watching this instead because oh, wow. I want to talk about Homer's pre-flirt with fame in the B-sharps. Yeah. So again, this is not my favorite Homer job, but it is the one where he became the most famous.

And we don't know how or why Homer formed a barbershop quartet in these flashbacks, but despite achieving worldwide fame, you have to remember when you watch every episode, he, Barney, Apu, and Skinner all have Grammys, and they were all worldwide superstar musicians. So whenever Homer's in the office with Skinner talking about Bart, they have an existing relationship in which they were at the Grammys together. It's true. Someday there will be

a sizzle reel with Pat Benatar and Bruno Mars in the T-shirts. And Principal Skinner. And I mean, as a kid, this episode taught me Grammys, like most award shows, are a farce. In fact, when Homer throws his Grammy away, nobody wants it. It's like, oh, it's a Grammy. They'd rather

throw it back at him than get this. And yeah, that they, I mean, there's so many people who have won Grammys who aren't famous now that that's what Homer is in that universe. Barack Obama. It's like if you were to run into the drummer of Right Said Fred or whatever.

I feel like that Grammy is propping something open in his house or something like that. It's holding up a window in his single room occupancy unit. Who knows? Let's talk about the B-sharps. Homer is apparently a musician who can write songs. Who knew?

We briefly see Grandpa playing the piano in the Christmas special, the first episode to air, so maybe he learned it through osmosis. Who knows? But they started out at Moe's performing solely for Barney, who was apparently sexually attracted to all of them. Oh, wow! Or at least one of them. Yes.

Who's touching me? He's like, oh, okay. So it's probably Skinner. Skinner, yeah. He longs for the button-down life with Skinner. Oh, yes. There's no more button-down life than with Seymour Skinner. It's all buttons. It's like 5,000 buttons. If I had to pick one B-sharp, I'd maybe pick Skinner. There's no more button down life than with Seymour Skinner. It's all buttons. 5,000 buttons. If I had to pick one B-sharp, I'd maybe pick Skinner.

Even though his mommy won't let him out to play, as I've heard. It is true. Everybody at the same time, which B-sharp would you fuck? Hearing a lot of Apu out there. You're right, it is Apu. He is the most eligible bachelor in town. This is pre-A children, so you're good.

You're good. So they started at Moe's. Why would that affect Apu? When those sperm came out to me, like, oh, my dick will never be this big. Don't do the Apu. Don't do the voice. You're right. You're right.

Didn't you watch a documentary, Chris? I did. It's bad. But I didn't get paid for it. It's okay, right? So they started at Moe's, and they branched out by performing for old people, Christians, and convicts, the best audiences. And what makes Homer great at this job is he's clearly the front man in the group.

In fact, their agent wanted to name the group Handsome Homer Simpson Plus Three. I like it. That's my favorite Barney line of all time. I like it. I have texted that as an affirmative to people many times. I didn't know that's what he was doing for four years.

Why do you say that? Can you please be here early? Oh, I like it. I didn't know it was a Barney reference. We are sad men who create our own emojis

because Apple won't answer our emails. It's true. Simpsons reference emojis. I mean, come on, let's do it. Let's do it. They're running

on the table there. What if we made a whole movie about emojis? No, no, no. No? Animation fans don't care for that? That would never happen. So Homer wrote an international hit with Baby on Board.

He won a Grammy with Baby on Board, and he beat Dexy's Midnight Runners. It was the category of the Outstanding Soul Spoken Word or Barbershop Album of the Year. So I'm going to say, I've said some dirty things tonight, but I will say no one came on Eileen that night. It was very sad. I'm retiring.

To our Laura, good night everybody. After peaking with Baby on Board, the group suffered from creative strife and they started writing songs about C. Everett Koop and Mr. T. I pity the fool who doesn't like he. And eventually, as we saw, Barney was the

John Lennon of the group, and creative differences drove them apart. And ultimately, the hammer came down when Us Magazine said they were not. And they are the governing... They decide whose careers make it and whose don't. They had called Alf hot, and they are not. Are they the ones who have that interview with Stormy

Daniels we can't read? Oh, is that an exclusive? Oh, sorry. Trump fans, I'm very sorry. I'm so sorry. This is not the great place to do this in San Francisco. But the B-sharps were so big. They had gold albums. They had their own funny foam. They had their own toxic merchandise.

You think if you make... They were bigger than Jesus. Bigger than Jesus Christ. Yes. Who is somewhere right now beneath the amazing world of Gumball. I love that show. That show's better than Jesus. My content has never blinded children.

I'm still waiting for that to happen. I wonder if my podcasts have ever killed anyone. I did. I want to just stream that Pokemon episode every single day that an octopus comes out. So to close out here with the B-Sharps, they only reunited once, which is really weird. I mean, of course it was a parody

of Let It Be, but I feel like this is pure, based on when they came out with their material in the mid-80s, this could be a pure boomer nostalgia. They could be having reunions, revivals, at least the State Fair circuit, they could be still touring. A fucking Geico commercial. Yeah. We would totally be in a Geico commercial.

To be sharps on your ship. That's surprising. I mean, like, we learned in Who Shot Mr. Burns Part 2 that Barney's job, quote unquote job, is sucking coins out of the love tester. There are like five people said it before you. Did you guys get my notes? Sucking it out of the love tester.

But I mean, I'm shocked. That's a good way to get sick. I'm not exactly shocked they had no money because Five people said it before you. Did you guys get my notes? That's a good way to get sick. I'm not exactly shocked they had no money because there's a million stories of one-hit wonders who are just like, no, I'm poor. I'm just the pina colada guy forever. Bay Area's Hammer? Is he here?

MC Hammer, yeah. Oakland, man. I cannot see the person who's talking. You're like, yeah, you're right. See, yeah. Oakland, man. I cannot see the person who saw it and was like, yeah, you're right. The flock is... Yeah, see, I'm right, right? All I know is the flock of seagulls, guys, very bitter.

I don't know why. These are all things we learned from VH1's behind the music. Exactly. He has to keep that haircut for life now. He'll be buried in that haircut. But yes, that is why the B-Sharp's job is my ultimate Homer job.

He achieved worldwide fame that is quickly brushed away, and we never hear about it again. And he met George Harrison, who was less exciting than a plate of brownies. That's been done. R.I.P. George Harrison and those brownies. We don't have the death jingle to play.

We don't. It stalks you at every turn. There it is. Hey, do not make fun. You don't know how many of you are going to be alive by the time this episode posts. Yeah, I'm going to bring it down. Is George Harrison the best Beatle? Is that

what I'm hearing from the audience? Is this where the show is going? We do have time to fill. We got time. Who's the best Beatle? Oh, oh, oh. Volkswagen. Volkswagen. I need my notes for this

because my real choice and it was part of my intro is Poochie the Rockin' Dog I love Remember applauding Poochie is not applauding me separate the two, you don't have to like me to like

the Poochie episode because it's fucking great Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie We did Rastify you by 10% before you came out here. Yeah, like looking into what Poochie, what spawned Poochie, wouldn't we agree on he's like, if Scrappy do, fuck the Kool-Aid man. I just thought he is Sonic the Hedgehog.

I'm extreme and I can't stop talking. And like somehow Homer gets that gig and I don't know about you, but I've been podcasting for 10 years. I think voice acting is a pretty cush gig and that is a fucking weed reference, so applaud me. No, I think it looks like

it's a gig I've wanted that no one's ever offered, but my voice is all I have and no one wants to use me, despite me not having any improv skills or impressions and a cognitive disability to memorize lines. No one's ever made the offer, but Homer got it.

You do a cool dog right now. What's your cool dog voice? I'm a dog who sounds like Hitler. Why? Why was that bad? That was my first take in an audition. I did Hitler Dog. We'll call you.

That was a less popular character. Come on. You did 12-ounce mouse adult swim. Give me a shot. Hitler Dog. But voice actors. So it made me look in like, how much does a voice actor make? Because I'm shall and that's all I care about.

But I looked at how much the Simpsons cast members made. Does anybody have any idea how much the Simpsons cast members made? Someone just said so fucking much. And two million, I guess it depends on how much you make. We are in the Bay Area. Probably some of you in the audience can buy and sell me a thousand times over. But they started out making 30 grand an episode. Yeah.

It's nothing. Yeah. Well, it's nothing. Well, in the first year, it's 10,000 times what a podcaster makes per episode. Casper mattresses will not save you. But in the first year, like Fox must have made at least like $500 million off of it.

But they were a growing network. It took them 10 years to make 125K an episode. Pretty good. 22 episodes a year. I looked into it. With the episodes we're in, they made a clip show every year for The Simpsons. But it's come down to 21, 22 episodes a year. So in 2004, I'm guessing partially due to The Simpsons' popularity, merchandise,

and the I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude of the actors, this could be canceled whether they like it or not, I'm already rich. They all got together and had a strike. How much did they end up making? $250,000 an episode, which rose as high

as $400,000 an episode in 2008. That means Dan Castaneda can rent a one-bedroom apartment in this neighborhood. Yeah. Well, and that holdout for more money was referenced on the show, too, when Homer is celebrating mid-season with his banner.

He says, like, oh, I love animated shows where you don't have to pay the actor's squat. And then when Dan walks by with a very different voice saying, he can replace him and not tell the diddly-a-friends. That was a reference to behind the scenes, the fox saying they could replace... The fox is like, we

can replace these guys. We don't need them. Right when they were doing that episode, I don't know if you remember it, because The Simpsons was usually paired with Married with Children, and they introduced that little kid, Seven, on Married with Children. Yeah, no one remembers it. Don't applaud it. Don't even look at me like you know what I'm talking about. Because no one remembers that,

but it was right after The Simpsons, at the same period, Married with Children is pooching its own show. And The Simpsons is at its area of pooching itself, and instead makes a joke about it, and then changes the vernacular on what that is with the joke. That's fucking great. From then on,

Homer's job became just the shorthand for the new character that rooms up. Yes. And now when you're talking about a scrappy do, you say poochie

instead of scrappy do. I think at the time, I would have the microphone as a point to make. What is it? Oliver Syndrome. Cousin Oliver. Cousin Oliver started it. Are is it? Oliver Syndrome. Cousin Oliver. Cousin Oliver started it.

Are you 50? I do. I know who that is. I think at the time with the strike, Fox was mad at the Simpsons because Family Guy was much cheaper. They're like, why can't you be as cheap as this bad show? If you think that's bad, take 50% of my paycheck. And that's what they did.

They now make half of what they did in 08 which is yeah i know boo they only make 8.8 million thanks obama uh and i i don't and i again i hesitated to bring up the statistic because i did as much research as i could blame a website called backstage.com i tried to look into the residuals that the simpsons actors get because remember i'm talking about poochie a voice gig, why it's the most lucrative. And they said, and I'm not going to do the math, we're not

the authority, but we are the best fucking Simpsons podcast. And with that in mind, don't put this on fucking Wikipedia and make a little link to us, because I don't know what I'm talking about. So with all that in mind, the

FXX buyout of The Simpsons to syndicate it was roughly a billion dollars. Right? Yes, a billion dollars. Remember, build that wall, your kids don't have books. That breaks down to $1.5 million an

episode. It was reported on that website that the performers get 6% of every single episode. And I'm not going to tell you what that number is in, and I looked it up, and it was 90,000. But I don't want you to put it on Wikipedia. I don't know that that's true. I've never been paid that much in my life. But a residual from The Simpsons

looks like it's more than what any of you make in a year from a single episode. That's so much money for Nancy Cartwright to give to Scientology. It is. It really is. They've got several secrets. They're having a hard time. No one's selling the cookies.

Did people groan because we made fun of Scientology? Do you have any idea how many Thetans I saw outside? It's because they don't have enough money. We are giving personality tests after the show. We're relatively close to the San Francisco park. That's true. But yeah, I think also, I think Homer would make less money on Poochie, though,

because that was clearly a non-union gig. Homer didn't join SAG to be that part. I think that sounds like the best gig ever, because when we were talking about, we've been doing the show for a while, we were talking about Harry Shearer not wanting to come back to the show, and they're like, the negotiations,

I know, it's a little boohish, but Harry Shearer's, I don't want to lose him, but he's a fucking prick. But he also doesn't give a shit. He has enough money, and he has a radio show that I really like. But the idea that, they're like, Harry, you can just phone in the show,

and you'll get millions of dollars a year, and he still said no. Yeah, it is actually true. Several actors record remotely. Remotely, yeah. Can you Skype in Marge Simpson, please? We've all wanted to work from home. It sucks, by the way. Don't do that.

I like it. Oh, I like it. Don't do that. You have a fight. You have one fight with your girlfriend and you're sleeping in your studio. No, don't do that. But yes, I choose Poochie and voice actor and you made the joke

when we were talking about this that in universe we want to figure out a way to shoehorn ourselves into a Simpsons episode yeah

so like Bart and Lisa doing a podcast about every episode of Itchy and Scratchy where they eventually get to the point where like dad was in an episode

like yeah there was a year where your dad ruined your favorite show. But that means Homer still gets paid. And if he gets paid Simpsons money, the Simpsons are set for this. Well, they only made two episodes with Poochie in it.

That's true. That we know. That's true. Original ending, that planet needs me, horseshit. Well, there was a legally binding contract that he'd never never ever come back. Yes. All the kids cheered.

Yay! Poochie is really in the top ten of Simpsons figures I would have tattooed on my body. Right. What's number one? Where, Chris? Where? Where would you like it?

Maybe mowing my pubic hair? What? Lower back. Lower back? I get a tramp stand with poochie? It's fucking pinky and thumb sticking out like right over my ankle. I prefer the less slut-shamey version,

ass antlers. Thank you very much. I like that. So I think it's time for us to vote. Yeah, let's do it. Gotta vote, people. It's time for you guys to vote. I've decided it's me.

Everybody has to vote. That's why we're in this mess. So, Henry, say what your job was. Alright, so, what do I hear for Mr. Plow? Pretty good. There are too many people clapping. What do I hear for the front man of the B-Sharps?

A little higher. I think Plow had it more. Is this where you embarrass me again? Let's see. So what does everybody say for Poochie the Rockin' Dog? Oh, boy. You know what? I think it was Henry.

Yeah, it's selfish to say Mr. Plow. Henry only chose the best episode ever for his job. So, yeah, thank you so much for coming, everybody. We're Talking Simpsons. Totally. Yeah, find us at TalkingSimpsons.com. I think you all know who we are. That's where we are, and we all appreciate you being here.

And we're going to do more shows like this in the future. So please come back to San Francisco or just stay here. Yeah. Thanks, everybody, who came out. Thank you. Thanks to everybody at Piano Fights. Thanks to everybody at Piano Fights. We're going to hang out and have a drink at the bar.

We'll be here all night. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Wow. Infotainment.