Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge With Chris Cabin
Episode Date: May 17, 2023We've got returning favorite Chris Cabin from the podcast We Hate Movies for the finale of broadcast season 13! And it's a weird episode full of lengthy references to High Noon and The Sopranos, as Ho...mer becomes a security guard as part of his very long list of new jobs. All that, plus we try to navigate the episode's complicated politics about police and property in this strange ep, so call your local pizza man and listen now! Support this podcast and get over 150 bonus episodes by visiting Patreon.com/TalkingSimpsons and becoming a patron! And please follow the official Twitter, @TalkSimpsonsPod!
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Ahoy, hoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, the preferred podcast of Leaning Tower Makers. I'm your host, the 99-cent porno store customer, Bob Mackie, and this is our
chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Who is here with me today, as always?
Henry Gilbert, and why does anybody do anything?
A celebrity boxing superfan, Chris Cabin.
And this week's episode is Papa's Got a Brand New Badge.
Hey, hey! Hey, hey! Hey, hey! Hey, hey!
This week's episode originally aired on may 22nd 2002 and as always henry will tell us what
happened on this mythical day in real world history oh my god oh boy bobby the rosie o'donnell
show comes to an end insomnia arrives in theaters and this season finale is aired next to the second and final episode of
fox's celebrity boxing oh boy i thought we hit that later but i'd love to talk about that up
front apparently chris cabot huge fan of this now when it came to palillo versus diamond whose side
were you on i can't help but go for horse shack like you gotta be in his corner at first clearly
young upstart i mean it had to be diamond i Like, you got to be in his corner at first. Clearly, young upstart.
I mean, it had to be Diamond.
I knew it was going to be Diamond when I saw them come out.
Like, I was like, oh, well, it's over for Horshack.
She's done for.
The Buttafuoco fight was the bigger one to me, I think.
That was the one where I was like, oh, boy.
Okay, this has to end.
We have somebody has to close all this down, please.
Reading up on this, Joey Buttafuoco was a late replacement for John Wayne Bobbitt,
who was recently arrested at the time for domestic abuse.
And apparently Weird Al was their original choice to fight the wrestler China.
And he said, yes, I immediately said no to that.
I knew that was not the right move for my career.
That would be insane.
No, it was the second and last one well i think this also
didn't do good enough ratings to justify continuing but also it's just like this is a new low like we
as a society accepted like i mean especially when it's like the john wayne bobbitt thing it's like
we'll just cancel the show like once your main event star is arrested for domestic abuse and
you know now screeched on gone to heaven gone to heaven, Mr. Terwilliger.
And Ron Polillo.
But there's no funny joke to make about that.
No, you're right.
No, no, no.
Horshack went to Hellshack.
No, I'm sure he was a nice man.
I apologize.
He made me laugh.
Yeah.
I mean, the Celebrity Deathmatch League, I think I was just kind of like, we degraded that quickly.
It didn't even take a year after 9-11 for it to all go to shit and i know we were
already on that train i'm often heard to say that after re-watching the 2000 charlie's angels
you can smell that 9-11 kind of has to happen after you watch that movie but then actually
weirdly it just made them all worse somehow i don't know how but it did yes with some of those
productions can if you listen closely you can hear planes approaching in the background yeah you're just like no no this has
got to end something has to change this can't keep on going the the gloss and the gleam of it is so
much it invites god to strike us down but also on the celebrity boxing thing like china aka joan
laurie it was also a real low time for her like this was just a year after she's a tragic story who
had a lot of personal demons it's very sad and unfortunately like a year before she had had a
huge match on wrestlemania and as big as she ever was and she had a disagreement with vince about
her pay and he was just like nah fuck you you're out of here and just a slow decline after that until
sadly also she died far too soon and uh ron palillo one dustin diamond one is nuts because
dustin diamond at that point palillo already was an old slight man yes while dustin diamond i
believe he got into really good shape because he had been mocked his entire life for being a dork.
He pulled a carrot top is what you're saying.
Yes.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
But decimated that poor man.
He absolutely decimated him.
I don't remember this, but I was reading just to remind myself of like, because I had forgotten the first one completely.
I just remember the Budafuco thing.
And that just like warped my brain the minute it happened.
But I read that like he had black eyes
before he even left the ring which means like that is rough man i don't know that just like
screech going that hard is really surprising he had something to prove yeah i'm reading that
palillo and diamond had basically a 30 year age difference oh god yeah i guess that makes sense
because one was playing a teenager like in his
early 20s in the 70s and the other played a teen when he actually was a teen like just 10 years
we saw his painful puberty play out on screen yeah i'm sure it was great for him it seemed like
based on news stories that ron palillo was a more socially adjusted man than dustin diamond was
and rosie o'donnell show coming to an end did she run out of kush balls everybody hey yo thank you thank you chris so that's a joke worthy of this episode of the simpsons
no no i think her contract came up and she wanted to try to do movies again i think and i also think
one of the reasons she was stayed in the closet was because of the TV show and sponsors didn't want it or something, I think.
It's a little murky, but it's not a coincidence that soon after the show ended, she came out of the closet.
And also her band leader, Max Weinberger, equivalent, also a very gay band.
I mean, hey, I watched the show in afternoons.
She had musical numbers on it all the time. If you wanted to watch something that was not as trashy
and like a Springer, Ricky Lake type show in the afternoon
that would also have on like actual celebrities you cared about,
unlike, you know, Oprah, which had, you know, like horrible tragedies or whatever.
The Rosie O'Donnell show was the one to watch.
Yeah, and then Ellen took the throne.
Yes, yeah, she danced her way on the throne.
Much more beloved. She started out out it's funny yeah the must there always be a lesbian queen
of american daytime television ellen danced her way across the backs of many suffering pas
yes i guess you know the lesbian queen now would be sarah gilbert then on the chew
oh really okay i wasn't aware of the chew i think she's still on the chew i believe she's
an exec producer on that.
Burying the lead here, Insomnia.
I love that movie.
You know, I feel bad because this is the one creepy Robin Williams movie I didn't see.
I saw one hour photo.
I did enjoy that, but I totally missed this one. It's worth seeing.
Also, the original with Stellan Skarsgård as in the Al Pacino role.
Also worth seeing.
Way darker.
I think it was like one of Criterion's first DVDs.
I remember it getting a special release.
But I like both versions quite a lot.
I'm ashamed to admit I've not seen the original.
I did see Insomnia in theaters though.
Like I watched Memento in theaters and Insomnia.
I was on the Nolan train, which is also funny
because I didn't watch his last two movies.
You know, this is back when he couldn't just make
all of his own movies.
I think we need to return to that.
It's like, let's make him do other things after Tenet.
I'm a big supporter of Tenet.
I like Tenet quite a lot.
I'm less of a booster for Dunkirk.
And I'm trying to remember the one before that.
The Interstellar one, like after the Matt Damon section, it's really stupid.
But up to the Matt Damon section, it's really good. But up to the Matt Damon section, it's really good.
That's always the compromise, I thought, with him.
I liked how incomprehensible 10 it is.
But I do have quite big hopes for Oppenheimer.
I think that's something he could do.
The kind of story he seems to be making with that seems to be more of his tone than all the more hopeful stories that he's been doing.
I want to see that big explosion. They say it's not CGI. I want to see that big explosion they say it's not
cgi i want to see that's really you know the acting whatever killian murphy i'm sure he's
great but i want to see that explosion biggest explosion for film perhaps oh yeah original
explosion that's like 50 of it but like yeah i'm also interested in killing murphy and whatever
the fuck robert downey jr is doing in that movie and I like that Matt Damon
is now just aged into being like people's bosses in movies and stuff like he's a talker like that's
his whole thing now but also in Insomnia Robin Williams and Al Pacino they have really good
chemistry together and it's just so funny to hear I do remember when Robin Williams is not funny in
the movie of course had very funny Robin Williams williams style stories to tell on talk shows
promoting the movie of him like goofing on al pacino this is pre-dunke chino and we all took
al pacino very seriously it was just coming to an end though right after i think the recruit is when
he starts becoming a parody of himself and that's like i think 2004 right yeah 2005 who is taken less seriously now deniro or pacino i think it has to be pacino
although both their stocks recently rose because of irishman and once upon a time in hollywood
oh man he's pacino is so good and once upon a time in hollywood yeah and i think deniro is
incredible in the irishman but before
that it was a real head-to-head bout you didn't know because people forget what de niro was doing
before that was like grudge match with sylvester stallone like them as old boxers doing a like
celebrity tournament celebrity boxing basically yeah celebrity boxing literally celebrity boxing
it's terrible but yeah thank god maybe they're gonna do some nice stuff before this all ends
i think if they just in public the most ridiculous looking is pacino like if you just see him
photograph walking around he looks very weird yes he's got a certain flair to him doesn't he yes
yes he's taking the celebrity thing where like him doesn't he yes yes he's taking the celebrity thing where
like him hanging out with stallone he's hanging out with guy fieri now i guess and like hanging
out and like there's he became an instagram guy suddenly and i think it's because of that picture
of him remember that there was like a 10 second video of al pacino walking down the street like
boogieing to something oh it's like two or three years ago.
And I think after that, he became like a meme guy for a little while.
You know, late in life, it's important to develop new hobbies,
be it collecting tiny horses or starting an Instagram account.
If you have too many, they will institutionalize you.
They'll say, okay, grandpa, you bought enough trains.
Time to go away.
Maybe he wants those miniature horses to make him look tall hey whoa too many
zingers up front uh but joining us today of course you heard him up front chris cabin from we hate
movies welcome back to the show chris hey guys thanks for having me well at the time recording
this you guys are deep into the month of april we hate movies i'm looking forward to that king
kong one coming up on 420 i don't think I've gotten high in over two years,
but your King Kong just might lead me to do it on 420.
I'm going to break out my special stash for it.
I'm liking it in a Rocky montage by watching all the old Kongs.
I'm watching the Jeff Bridges King Kong, which is terrible.
I'm even watching Skull Island again just to see if there's anything there even
though i remember liking john c reilly in it that's about it but yeah i i'm looking forward
to it as well i think of all the legendary monster ones i think skull island was my favorite
i really well i think it had like the most actor stuff in it honestly for me i know the godzilla
business world so well that i just see toho's fingerprints
on everything of like well godzilla can't do that or whatever well meanwhile king kong i just sense
a lot more freedom from the director on the king kong side i really love the 2014 godzilla the
edwards one but actually after that skull island might be the most entertaining
by all like you could not get me to sit through that godzilla versus kong movie again there's
just no way not with the clockwork orange setup you could not i would rather die like
that movie i saw it in theaters with a bunch of i didn't plan on it a bunch of nft people i didn't realize this that it well because
it came back to theaters at amc for like five bucks and i was like i want to see this on the
big screen and so i didn't realize they had done it as a gift to people who bought the amc stock
which are nft people so the people in the audience like when king kong the big ape shows up i'm
hearing to the moon
screamed by idiots it sucks i thought they would be like the well this movie might have a board
ape in it and i'm into those yeah have we forgotten about the board apes no i snoop dog when he
appeared at wrestlemania was wearing a jacket covered in his board apes like he had his yacht
club apes on his outfit he's going down with the ship he's one
guy who is very loyal to the brands that he is with he will go all the way with them because
everybody else as you've noticed like just dumping that shit like as quickly as they can and yet he
is still has these like you don't see jimmy fallon still bringing out the pictures of the nfts for
everybody to woo at yeah snoop dogg is still. God bless him. You no longer see the laser sight
on Jimmy Fallon's temple.
I just think it's really fun.
Wow, it's your own ape?
Wow.
Oh, thank you, Paris.
Thank you so much
for bringing your NFT here.
Thank you.
So up front on this episode,
number one,
it's the finale of season 13
and we tell our listeners
the same thing
that we tell bullied children.
It gets better.
So a very boring fact up front.
My document for this season is 58,993 words, just to let everyone know how much I wrote
about season 13.
And the origins of this story are something we can all relate to.
So let's say you're married to the president of a prestige cable network and you buy a
new mansion that used to be on My Celebrity.
And you're like, do I have cops protect me?
No, no, no.
Cops are for normal people.
I need to hire private security.
So this very relatable story from the mind of Dana Gould
and the life of Dana Gould became a Simpsons episode.
And yes, he is made fun of on the commentary
for having this rich person problem.
Like, can you believe these private security companies?
They charge you out the nose to protect your mansion.
They don't do anything they're just
not that good when it comes down to it you might as well stay with the cops really it's such a
grounded relatable story that joe lunch pale can really get into on the commentary it's like dana
gould to them is a rich guy even to these rich guys like they're all rich but they're like well
but you're married to a tv executive so like
you're extra double rich dana ghouls which he was at the time his wife at the time was sue nagel
the hbo president and she is the woman who greenlit game of thrones when no one really
believed in it and which made the network obviously billions and billions of dollars
but i think this was in the air around this time because dana ghoul mentions the company was called
west tech and in a few years there's an episode of King of the Hill where Dale starts his own home security company called Dale
Tech. And this episode was heavily rewritten after the table read. So I want to say the episode might
have been more about home protection before the rewrite. It seems like it died at the table and
they were just being kind about it on the commentary. But if something is heavily rewritten
after a table read, it means it didn't do well i would definitely think that means that
that's why act three starts with homer just becomes the cops and it's like well homer is
technically the chief of police now but i guess he's still gonna wear a security outfit and that's
when it becomes a double parody and just yeah a lot of desperate scrounging i would say in the third act really
yeah it feels like a heavy rewrite burn burn a whole minute and a half on a belated uh sopranos
spoof yes like i just i was just like oh we're in we're in hell this is just completely going
like this is just free fall now whatever goes well you know chris that montage
was a gift to every simpsons podcaster because i was like i don't have to take any notes nope yeah
no notes you can keep going i normally don't mind the instances in which oh you know this plot is
too similar to an older episode or this joke is too similar but at the time kind of agree today
this episode is a bit too similar to season five's homer the vigilante i think it maybe it wasn't as close in its older form but homer and lenny and carl just become the vigilante group
that they were in season five except they have better costumes and a logo now they're more
successful at it i had forgot on my first rewatch of this i was like oh right it's spurred on by
lisa losing something i wonder if even at one point it was the saxophone and they're like wait
wait guys we know it was the saxophone and homer like, wait, wait, guys, we know it was the saxophone in Homer the Vigilante. Like,
let's at least make it like a dollhouse or whatever.
Also, I think nobody on this staff worked on that season or that episode.
Yeah, I think you're right. Well, Gene is like, has a consulting credit on season five. I think
that might mean you sat in on a rewrite once in a while nobody really worked
on it but man again this is the curse of the commentaries this season it's star-studded
commentaries so they get distracted from the story a few times talking to joe montana which is fun
like joe montana is a fun guy who has stories to tell i love them talking to him about like hey
you play dean martin that's right i did they just
talk about that for like three minutes with just dean martin stories to bob's point about homer the
vigilante that is something that struck me with all of season 13 as i remember it because i had
fallen off watching it weekly in season 12 i was still occasionally finding moments to watch this
opens with the harry potter slash horny pierce brosnan computer treehouse of horror and there
are so many jokes in that pierce brosnan section that remind me just of the robotic house in you
only move twice oh yeah there's a lot in there that are just like oh this is for my and then i
remember watching like the one after that and even the episode eric was on fry game there's just things
there where i was just like this is all so familiar like there's all these jokes and premises that
just echo something that i really potent in the recent imagination of the simpsons and enough
that like it didn't feel like we were putting a new co-op on an old thing. It just felt like we had run out of ideas.
I would say even the bad thing about pairing it to Vigilante is that Vigilante is just such a beautiful emotional build as a script.
And this is just complete disaster.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, actually, I was going to say it ends with a long sequence that is also a parody of a film but it's better at that too
the mad mad mad mad world one i think this is a really rough season aljean is getting back into
running uh the old show he used to run and i honestly think that around this time because
aljean is sitting down and re-watching the series from the beginning via dvd commentaries to do them
i think he's remembering like oh this is how we used to do it.
And that's why things do pick up from this point.
But this is a very rocky and uneven season.
And my memory, 14 recovers a little bit.
Yeah, they make some smart hiring decisions, I think too.
It's weird with this Dana Gould episode,
I do feel like the energy of Dana Gould
is an interesting thing to add
to the alchemy of the writer's room
because he is a new guy.'s not a harvard dude he is a comedian who is desperate for attention
and so i say this is somebody who thinks dana gould is a great comedian but you need that energy
of somebody doing bits all the time or throwing out lines and also they needed new stories of
horrible fathers which dana fathers which definitely helps them out
absolutely there's some other stuff on the commentary too that i was like god you are so
rich and distant now like he's done some tweets that were like oh you've been rich for a very long
time he seems to think he's still the same like down-to-earth bostonian he was growing up i was like no you're really not yeah yeah i'll admit
i feel slight animosity because he once heckled me at a thing uh and said that i lived in berkeley
meaning that he asked where i lived this was a q a thing that he was hosting it was also
everybody was on edge it was inauguration day of 2017 yeah so i don't want to blame him for this
but he asked where i was from
and i said berkeley and he's like oh berkeley real america there and i was like i just took
it because i wanted to ask a question about the goddamn venture brothers yeah yeah i mean but in
my head i wanted to tell him like i know you live in a huge mansion how dare you say i have a mansion
story about dana gold before we begin where i listened to his podcast for like eight years and
he said a few things that made me think come come on, man, really like very out of touch political things, especially about Bernie Sanders.
I was willing to forgive that.
But then the pandemic happened and he's just like, what's everybody so freaked out about?
Just spend a few weeks inside watching Netflix.
It'll be fine.
And then I follow his Instagram and that night he's like having a screening of Jaws on the side of his mansion.
You see him and his family in front of their in-ground pool like,, wow, it's so easy in my one-bedroom apartment that I can't leave.
He might need to be grounded a little bit, Mr. Dana.
I think he's learned a little recently.
Yes, but he was kind to us, and he was at our first live show.
He was at our first live show, and he was our first interview subject live.
He was very great, and he gave a story about this episode on that interview.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh, that was right.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't want to be.
We do love David Gold.
But he didn't give us each $1,000 and I know he could have afforded it.
Easily.
Yeah.
Easily.
And hold that against every celebrity I meet.
I'll consider taking the hex off him.
I was going to keep it on there after hearing all this.
I'll take it off for now.
It's also funny, too, because the timing of when we're doing this,
we're doing season three at the same time, bouncing back and forth.
And in the timeline of the series of season three,
the Rodney King riots are just happening.
And now we're in an episode that's definitely influenced by Dana Gould
living through the LA riots of 1992.
Though his take on it is not my take on it.
Oh, and I guess my last preamble thing is
this finally spurred me on to do what I should have done
a very long time ago, which is watch High Noon.
Oh, great, great.
Actually never seen High Noon until a month ago.
And it's all that and more.
It really is like one of the best movies I've ever seen.
So now you finally understand,
oh, that's why that clock looks like that because there's very little high noon parody content in this episode yes yeah
i love that movie i think that was the movie that probably the first movie i saw gary cooper and
ever i can't imagine it with anything else it's incredible how it happens in real time there's
clocks everywhere i was like wow how do you even just keep that straight like this minute is this one and like it is such a dark thing to say about society too like and to know
it was done at this end that it pissed off fucking john wayne it was just like it's un-american like
i love that man what a good movie and you know that al jean really wanted to license that text
writer song but then he couldn't license the five other songs in this episode. God.
I know it's a thing everybody talks about now,
but how movies are just soundtracks now.
There are so many needle drops for these specific hits that power
these otherwise absolutely
rudderless movies. This is an
early situation where
the Die Hard 3 needle drop of
Hot Town, Summer in the City,
and then Radar Love, and then the Sopranos, Alabama Three, Hive, Rise Up, the Sopranos theme.
We were just talking about this because we both saw the Mario movie and were like, these pop songs are so needless.
They're just like empty.
They're nothing.
I would argue it's exactly the opposite.
That is how you keep the energy of the movie going, because otherwise you really probably wouldn't have it.
The only thing that keeps these things moving are those pop songs, because everybody's like, oh, hey, it's a pop song.
We all like this song, right?
It's been played on the radio a hundred thousand times or got a hundred thousand YouTube streams or whatever the fuck.
This is my main complaint with Cruella as well, is just that whole thing is just pop songs are making the thing work.
Yeah, actually, Chris, I just saw I, Tanya, for the first time as of this recording a movie. well is just that whole thing is just pop songs are making the thing work yeah actually chris i
just saw i tanya for the first time as of this recording a movie i didn't like that much but
what made it worse was i swear to god there were like 40 needle drops in that movie and some of
them were so obvious and i was thinking okay so you thought your spirit in the sky needle drop
was somehow innovative and different than in all the other movies i had seen before it really bothered me
the fleetwood mac drop like yeah of course craig gillespie did cruella and itania oh my god yeah
i think he pioneered this technique in a little way because tv is also starting to do this in
certain pockets when i saw cruella i was like there were i think it was like three songs in
three minutes that i was like, come on.
It should just say soundtrack by Spotify playlist.
Yes.
Yes.
That is literally what they're trying to do, I think, is just like powered along by making these things calibrated.
Because you can literally work the algorithm to give you the kind of music your audience most likely likes.
Right.
It's not like we're that far away from that kind
of uh uh uh data coming in so they can just literally just slather it on holding out for
hero which is by the way a song i love i love love love i loved it in short circuit too that
was the first place i saw it as a kid but also it was the opening theme song for a pro wrestling
show in atlanta i watched as like a nine-year-old.
So, of course, I love it.
And it's in everything now.
It drives me insane.
I went to the wiki page for that song.
And this was in no means a comprehensive list.
It filled my screen how long it was of its number of appearances and things just from 2019 to now it was in the fucking shazam 2 movie
a month before the mario movie came out and then somebody replied to me like oh also it's in this
other new tv show now too like no oh it's in tetris it's in the fucking tetris movie yeah it wasn't
like it was rare back then like in short circuit two times i remember who's harry crumb the john
candy movie at the end
when he's chasing the airplane they play that fucking song it was everywhere then and like
of course we're eternally living through 80s aughts recycles right now of course it's back
here and we're gonna see it i hopefully it ends a year like this having tetris and fucking super
mario brothers have it that's too much also it was like this thing of three trailers
in a row that came out like within a week period of uh it was the tetris trailer the blackberry
trailer and the air trailer and all three at once i was like god it's the same trailer they're all
the same movie with the same music just three executive suck jobs yes yeah it moved from tv
because this was what we used to do for TV for the build.
All the limited series were like the WeWork limited series, the Elizabeth Holmes limited
series.
All these like failed businesses were like what powered Hulu, I think for like two years.
Like the Fyre Festival docs, things like that.
All those things.
I like Chris Smith. Fyre festival doc, I think is pretty okay.
I'm talking about like, I guess Tiger King, you have to throw in this too.
You can include the Kate McKinnon version that they put out too.
It wasn't working there because nobody really cared that much about this stuff.
So now they've moved it to movies and it's all about like how it used to be.
Nothing's innovative now.
So they just have to show you like in your rosy colored childhood memory.
This was pretty innovative, wasn't it?
Me and you know the story of Tetris for like 30 years.
It's fine for a movie.
We should get started soon.
But that Phil Knight movie feels like a Valentine's card to him.
Like, oh, hey, you've got billions of dollars and you fund Laika.
What if you fund like the Ben Affleck productions?
How about that, buddy?
I'll make a movie about how you're awesome. are ben affleck that's even better you just are
ben affleck that's true yeah i haven't seen the movie but that thing that the trailer ends with
them going like what's the name of it air jordan i don't know uh seriously yeah yeah oh you might
you might have a real problem with it then i'm not crazy but it's fine i think it's
totally fine but it's mostly matt damon being really good and ben affleck being you know a
star like i can't help but like ben affleck other than that i don't think it's anything special
it's gutted money ball it's kind of money ball light they are the redford and newman of our
generation oh god things really are degenerating, aren't they?
Quickly.
I guess, too, about this episode,
I think that this is a good encapsulation of season 13
because it is full of plot points you've seen before,
many musical montages, Homer shaking his fist,
singing songs incorrectly,
and obvious references that should be beneath them.
This is the perfect capstone to season 13, really.
What a fabulous year it was.
It kicked off with 9-11, ends with celebrity boxing.
It's just the heights of culture.
Oh, man, what a dark.
Right, too, is we're like, well, we're on the year-long run to the genocidal invasion of Iraq,
so things are only getting better we're ramping it
up at this point i have to imagine they shot down the sopranos opening bit for every season since
the first season right like somewhere in like 2000 someone pitched that somewhere in an episode like
no no no no no that's too much that's too silly like we're not going to do that and it's just at
this point they're like yeah sure why not well we were jumping ahead of things i can talk about the origins of that if
you want to or i can say yeah well i think was it they were talking about on the commentary at the
creative arts emmys they edited together simpsons clips to be like the sopranos intro and they
thought like well why don't we just do that and make our own sopranos parody so they didn't even
come up with the idea it was like a fun joke at the creative arts enemy that became a parody and honestly I sent Henry this image yesterday the classic
hot topic slash Spencer slash county fair t-shirt that just says the Simpsons and the Sopranos logo
and they all look like the Sopranos that t-shirt slash poster came first yeah the parody of the
classic black and white image of the whole
cast but it's homer in the family yeah yeah jesus that is incredible it's nuts it was like yeah they
finally caught up because the sopranos debuts in january 1999 now it's mid 2002 they're finally
going you know what the sopranos is kind of similar to the simpsons if you think about it which is much more similar to the
flintstones honestly yes i mean but many dynasties the blue man group bit at the beginning that
immediately took me back i'm like god we cared about this for this was a huge cultural like
touchstone i've seen him in vegas not a really show you could do worse but i haven't seen the
jabberwockies so maybe they're better.
And the tickets are much more affordable than the David Copperfield tickets.
We have friends who love the David Copperfield show in an ironic way that it is terrible
and silly and they're like, oh, you must see.
And I trust them.
But when I last went to Vegas and I was considering two tickets ironically purchased to do it,
I was like, this is $300 of irony.
I don't think I want to see it that bad.
Not worth it.
Yes, we have a Heat Wave opening, which is incredibly similar,
not just to the opening of Bard of Darkness,
but also Grift of the Magi from season 12 or 11.
Lisa Sachs was about a partially Homer wanting an air conditioner.
That's a heat wave episode too
man something about algin and heat waves he just can't they're writing this in la it's always hot
there yeah i mean the problem is again when you're writing a show for this long it's possible to
stumble into the same idea but i think you should at least try to make it better if you recognize
that where homer making a tent in front of the fridge is funny him telling marge set the oven to cold is funny them just kind of swaying back and forth
to match the oscillation of the fan that's pretty lame yeah well they did that even better in bar
of darkness with marge's hair flopping back and forth yeah she puts two fans yeah yeah it's a
singular physical gag i can't even consider that a gag that they're moving with the fan that's just
kind of what you do as if like it's supposed to be observational that's the only thing i could
consider this has a really bad case of what i call double taps they do double taps of almost
every joke you have to do the ink melts off the paper and then alarm clock is melting too and
those are two melting jokes and then the joke is homer's having a hard time because he's sticky
coming off the bed and then it's because he's sticky to marge too there's just these things
where you're just like this used to be a concentrated one joke and like now it's diluted
twofold just in case people didn't get it the first time i also feel bad for that screaming
butterfly that bursts in flames i feel like oh they just killed it yeah i feel like they
would have went with like what are the funniest different kinds of heat jokes instead of doing
multiple variations on the same one if you go back to the opening of bard of darkness i feel like each
heat gag is different in like innovative in its own space yeah i remember it being very varied
and this one not to jump ahead too much the melting of the alarm
clock is not all that different from the christmas totem melting down because they're both audio gags
oh hey hey hey hey hey jingle bell rock stopping yeah pretty similar i do like the gag in execution
and pete michaels the director of the episode and his team i think do a very good job in execution
of a script that is weak for example marge and
homer being stuck together i like that their skin is drawn like there's no line between their skin
they are one being as far as the line wave goes the elderly dying in heat waves a very real thing
that only gets worse believe it or not with climate change going up it's a depressing google
search to try to see like oh what's the rates of like last year, record numbers of seniors died in the UK heat waves that
happened.
Yeah.
I feel like I hear more about it in Europe, especially France.
Like every time there's a heat wave in France, they lose like a third of their population.
I'll tell you, save yourself a night's sleep and don't look up life expectancy USA 2023.
It's not a good read.
If we live to retirement age i feel like the number
one killer will be heat waves for us probably probably i wouldn't be surprised it'll defeat
heart disease as the number one killer too much swimming actually we'll be even cool all the time
we'll have to swim everywhere a lot of cardiovascular exercise so it just might be drownings actually
that they might just skyrocket that's the number one cause of death in 2060 let's say we have a good joke of hibbert being kind of sassy
to mole man tell him like hey don't you go too far you are gonna die i wonder how does the normally
poor springfield school afford an ac unit that's what i want like they have such an amazing ac unit
but you know this really reminded me of just the agony of being hot in school where,
because I went to private school, we went back a week before everyone else, but we ended
a week before everyone else.
So it did, you know, pay off in the end.
But when you were in school in like the dead heat of August and you have those anti-suicide
windows that only prop open a little bit, you are in hell and nobody's learning anything.
Oof, man.
Probably having to wear a uniform too, right?
Yes, man. Probably having to wear a uniform too, right? Yes, yes.
Oh, I mean, I was in public
school when we had the last summer days
and the air conditioner did not work
in Latham, New York. I think as a rule
most schools were just like, nah, you don't need
that. So what we would do was
of course we'd go to the mall. The mall was air
conditioned. I went to see Batman and Robin
two times in a row
because it had air condition and you've
got mr freeze right there reminding you to feel cool exactly see like it just gets you into like
a cold mindset it's just very nice i skipped like two days of school doing that shit because it was
not there was nothing at the school you're making fun of dana gould for entitlement my entitlement
and feeling like oh air conditioners i remember those the rent's crazy here but there's three
weeks of the year where i wish we had air conditioners in ber those the rent's crazy here but there's three weeks of the
year where i wish we had air conditioners in berkeley california it's like 104 degrees yes
yeah but when i moved here 16 years ago it was like two summer days i've actually felt like i
needed an air conditioner it's a little more these days and soon we're moving up north even more so
no ac needed i have to learn celsius poor Oh, my God. It's nearly 35 out.
I'm sweltering.
It just doesn't sound right, right?
35 is hot?
I tried to describe it to my wife.
It's a scale of how hot it is from 0 to 100, but she doesn't get it because she grew up with Celsius.
And that makes more sense to her.
The Simpsons will be right back.
Fox tomorrow.
It's an arresting all-new bonus Simpsons when Homer's appointed sheriff.
Finally, a way to combine my love of helping people with my love of hurting people.
But when he takes on the mob, will he be singing like a soprano?
Let's do it.
Dips on the crotch.
All-new Simpsons on a special night at 8, 7 central tomorrow. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops.
So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you.
Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs.
Weird, I don't remember saying that part
visit dejauden.com care and get insurance that's really big on care did i mention that we care
welcome to the break everybody it's henry and i hope you monsters put the card in your wallet
because we are super thankful this week to our guest chris cabin from we hate movies always
great to have him on especially in an episode as wonky as this one and we loved talking with chris
and we can't wait to see him live when they come to California for a couple shows as We Hate Movies.
Please check out the We Hate Movies live show information on their website.
And please listen to the We Hate Movies podcast if you're not already a listener.
Thanks again, Chris.
As well, we'd like to thank all of our supporters at patreon.com slash talking simpsons.
Because those $5 and up folks supporting us there let this be me and Bob's real full-time jobs.
And they get so many
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monthly premium podcast what a cartoon movie us going into an animated feature film super in-depth
just like we do an episode of the simps, which means often over five or even six hours long,
talking about an animated feature film.
For April, we did an April Fool's and covered another live-action film,
this time the 1986 Little Shop of Horrors and its amazing director's cut.
There's so much cool stuff we learned in that one.
And the month before that, we talked about 2000's Chicken Run from Aardman,
and there is over 55. a cartoon movies at your fingertips when
you sign up at patreon.com talking simpsons we cover everything from akira to a goofy movie
at the end of this month you're going to be hearing us talk about toy story 4 that's right
we did the all the other three now toy story 4 is coming and if you want to hear our longest
podcast ever that's over six and a half hours long that's
about who framed roger rabbit and you can only hear that if you're a ten dollar and up subscriber
at patreon.com slash talking simpsons so please head on over to that website or check us out on
the patreon app to see it all for yourself and then talk about also jokes that are them not having enough confidence in their jokes so they
have a gag of saying like oh there's a bunch of students that are coming back i haven't seen them
in forever it's better than a turin officer and up walks jughead fat albert and the fonz and it's like i know who
jughead is but they were like we got to pay for sugar and play it for two seconds as jughead walks
by so it's obvious i forgot they did that and honestly i was expecting to have marsha wallace
come in for one line i'm sure she was there to do other stuff too i was expecting like something
more than just oh arthur you know something dirtier or something like that shouldn't see a fucked the fawns right
yeah she's going to she wants to go fuck him the junkhead one compare that to the amazing
appearance by the archie gang in sideshow bob roberts of stay out of riverdale if they played
sugar sugar over it it would have weakened it
it's more fun to see the fucking archie kids show up throw homer out of the car yeah it concentrates
it on the parody rather than like making sure you get the reference actually what it's doing
in the world is like what more focus comes with i think at least part of my hair turned white when
i heard the ricky martin joke is that just i was just like who who thought that
was a good idea i mean i guess a dana it feels like a dana ghoul joke it really does i was just
like ah man i don't want to hear that thank you though yeah i feel like the obviously the heyo
is there to let you know like we think this is bad but also just write something else you know
yeah that's another option that's also it's there's plenty
other jokes it's also funny we have the fonts here we just did the auto show and in that one
from season three and there's also like and he is not the fonts hey mr s they're kind of repeating
their even their fonts references here but yeah the the ricky martin joke uh it was funny
to some in 2002 like look we all could obviously tell Ricky
Martin was gay we all knew it dogs knew it yeah it's a clod brain candy right but he was not out
and I forgot that the timeline was until looking it up that like it was 2010 when he finally came
out I remember watching the friggin behind the music on him. And there's like a fake girlfriend story in it.
Even then.
And I was like, you know, 18.
I was like, no, this is fake.
That's not your girlfriend.
You're gay.
Now it's not even fun to joke about because he's got all these horrible allegations about it.
I didn't know about these.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
Well, I got to give it to Ricky Martin's PR.
People are keeping it off Wikipedia somehow.
But they're doing a good job of it. I that news and i was just like oh man okay bud
well good luck with all that it hasn't been settled in court yet but there are some very
bad sexual assault allegations yes against ricky martin yes yeah and yeah you know what i also i'm
surprised i got which is teat on the show though it's not the dirtiest word that i heard in this
episode that made me go like wow they said that they then cut to the power grid taxing the entire city
and another dana gould one-liners like like my wife at an open bar that also feels very gould
to me this thing about the power plant and you know the air conditioners sort of sapping the
juice of a city i remember when we have heat waves i get these like friendly emails from pg and e saying we all need to chip in and make sure we do these certain things at certain
times of the day i'm like pg and e you blow up cities you kill people i can't subscribe to another
power company like leave me alone it sounds like a you problem yeah yeah well maybe you should spend
more on the infrastructure since you're a fucking public work that gets to be a company and it's
always funny where all of the tips they give are for like upper middle class people make sure you turn off the
power in one of your walk-in freezers at least three hours a day do you need to light your entire
home bowling alley yeah it's like don't air condition your entire two-car garage it's just
like i don't have an air conditioner i have a window that barely opens in an oscillating fan
leave me alone don't kill anyone
else pg and e you want me to turn off the fans in my horse stable they're gonna swelter you know
that they're gonna be so upset we need that ice machine for the stable hands we have it even
better in berkeley than like up north where my mom lives that was ravaged by fire that was partially
caused by pg and e everybody hates pg&e there and they
are constantly having brownouts my mom and stepdad it's just a fact of their life now like well we
always have to have gas on hand to run our generator because otherwise we will have no
power for days sometimes good old pg&e it's run like a business more efficiently than a government
could it sounds like it's all going very well so burns has a good
one-liner like who they're going to complain to their parents after shutting down the orphanage
power also you know that guest room soap thing bob what do you think of my apple cider scented
bathroom soap well it's certainly not the season for it anymore i bought at the end of christmas
you know at least my hands soft and pleasant so i'm'm okay with it. The fan scene, I will say I've seen it used in memes.
I've seen that gif around of the family moving back and forth to match with the fan.
So Homer decides he wants to make everybody feel wintry by plugging in Santa Claus in our first clip here at 51 minutes in the file.
Dad, no, we're trying to conserve energy.
Lisa, if we start conserving, the environmentalist wins.
Jingle bell what?
Dad, it's a blackout.
A blackout? Oh, every time Santa and I get together, it's a blackout. A blackout?
Oh, every time Santa and I get together, it's a disaster.
Oh, no, the power's out?
We'll miss Fox Celebrity Boxing.
I heard tonight they have Ed Bradley versus Mr. Ed.
It's terrible.
All the traffic lights are out.
Driving sure is dangerous.
Yeah, tell me about it.
I got some yuppie jerk-off headed right for me,
yakking away on his cell phone.
Huh? I hear that.
I got some big-shot barreling down on me.
Hey, who are you talking to, your boyfriend?
Hey, jackass, your voice sounds familiar.
I don't hear an alarm. Let's take stuff.
Whoa, isn't that stealing? No, it's just looting. Sweet. Let's take stuff. Whoa, isn't that stealing?
No, it's just looting.
Sweet.
Let's go nuts.
I just wanted to put in just a little of that music, Hugh.
$40,000 drop.
Look, it's underneath the 15-second cap.
I don't know what it is.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Every time I hear that song i just go to die hard three
i can't go anywhere else i don't know if it's just because i watched that movie so much when
i was a kid but like that is the only thing i think of when this song comes in i always like
the up of the night it's a different world go out and find a girl yeah this really puts us in 2002
because we have a cell phone joke we have them almost certainly very late adr about
celebrity boxing because again it airs right after this folks you know this aired on a wednesday night
fox didn't want their season finale of simpsons to air on a sunday they had three days earlier
sunday night frying game and then like we need to partner this with celebrity boxing yeah i was
wondering because the dates were so close,
and this was well before there were any cell phone laws about what you can do when you're driving.
I was looking at a map of the different laws,
and only in Montana are you truly free
to do anything with your cell phone while you're driving.
Most states have at least, okay, you can't text on the phone.
But when I went back to Ohio to visit,
everyone is talking on the phone while they're driving,
holding the phone up to their ear. And I'm like, the entire state has gone crazy because in California, that's a ticket, buddy. And in New York where you live as well, Chris.
In my state, all my aunts, my mom, they are very fond of talking through Bluetooth in the car.
Right.
But this is something that I think is all over New York. I recently had to go up there a few times and you will just look her out and there's just people who look like they're yelling all at
nothing it hits you eventually that they're having a conversation with someone but like for a minute
there i'm just like are they screaming what are these it doesn't sound like there's music coming
out or anything like that and then eventually you get it that's how i was brought to do it and it's
why i avoid phone calls while I'm driving every time.
It can be uncomfortable when your Lyft driver has one.
They put it on speaker.
I've had that of like, oh, don't you have a headphone thingy?
So I have the earbuds with the mic built in.
And if I'm taking a phone call like outside, I will still hold a phone up to my mouth so people know I'm not crazy.
Oh, yes.
This 40-year-old man is not just muttering to himself.
Also, I was shocked to hear them say
the word jerk off i was like oh yeah also it is an important bit that it is lenny who wants to
start looting not carl first i think that was a smart choice on their parts i like the is it auto
who has guernica yes yeah i liked that i thought that was a nice little visual ref this shows my education
in arts i only know guernica because of the critic me too yeah take that guernica yeah it's actually
a very you know important sad work of art spanish civil war yeah yeah also another thing that made
this feel like very dated for its time they actually have a let the terrorist win joke the way homer phrases if we
start conserving the environmentalist win oh that's what that was isn't it it's totally framed
like if we do blank the terrorist wins it's framed exactly like that very similar and it's very funny
that that happens what an episode after the whole epa joke in fry game scream a pillar homer well they just hate
environmentalists in general there's multiple things in this episode they're like i mean the
looting and fallout of society that's in the simpsons movie there's a lot of stuff that's
in the simpsons movie that's in this episode either we did a we hate movies podcast about
if you haven't heard it yes of course yeah yeah you should check it out but it's also a very mob
friendly show in terms of having a group of people riot for
very little pretext, right?
Yeah.
I was so surprised that this was special.
I was like, no, no, no.
This is like every other year in this town, it seems like.
The animators have to draw mob, drool, and smashing things many, many times.
I think the mannequins, you can't buy these.
That feels creepy enough to be a Dana Gould line as well.
Well, you know, things are so much better now in the future for just as low as $60.
You can get yourself a full bottle of mannequin on Amazon.
Wow.
Yeah.
I think the sex doll industry really opened up that world, you know?
It's like, oh, we finally know how to ship these.
It's easy now.
If you're going to spend 60 bucks on a mannequin, like just go get that torso.
Get the higher quality. That's what i'm saying oh yeah i think you should save up if you're going to be
serious about it and i think i'm not a fan of the movie but i do think movies like lars and the real
girl really do help these fellas you know take it more seriously because like look there's
representation for you too it's right there's ryan gosling being i will never understand if that's supposed to be a joke or not with that character but like i like because it's
gosling and he takes everything more seriously than even anybody would otherwise and he is pretty
good at it i'm just like is this real what's going on here guys probably works a lot like when you're
trying to start being a podcaster don't buy the most expensive microphone to start out with it's just a yeti and work your way up to the higher quality model absolutely the one joke in
this i liked a lot because it did feel like a real mel brooks style joke is the people looting the
music store but then coming out as a marching band i thought that was very funny i did like that yeah
that's the notre dame fight song they're playing okay yeah they didn't license that too they better
be in the public domain if it's a college song.
And also, you know, in Mo Lutz's own store,
it just reminds me how nice the windows at Mo's Tavern are.
They really, really nice.
Oh, that was also a good joke.
Yeah.
It just realized, like, ah, wait a minute.
But, you know, another good joke, this is a quick clip.
I'm always happy when they bring back the rivalry
between Kent Brockman and Arnie Pye.
Kent, this city has exploded in a fireball of pent-up rage I think what the viewers want to
know Arnie is is my house okay you mean is your giant castle okay Kent don't hate me because I
bought at the right time Arnie when's my right time Kent when's my right time I think that way
about all property because i'm about to buy
property with my wife and i'm just looking up like when was it ever a good time maybe like a few weeks
within the past 20 years there was like one window in which like if you got in there you'd be sitting
pretty i mean i also like too they drew in his giant mansion from dog of death from being a
millionaire i wonder if that defensiveness on kent's part is how dana gould feels when people are like oh your mansion looks so great he's like we just got it at
the right time guys you could get a castle too arnie roddy mcdowell gave me the friend discount
and he asked wernicke is walked by auto stole it then also speaking of things that just remind you
of another thing the whole family on the roof together it's like this is bart's comment like this is the big act two ending of
bart's comment though i like that bart wants to do things and it's like a father saying nope uh-uh
no no but this feels like a very hollywood rich liberal thing of the cops should be doing more
violence they're not effective enough in being violent uh yeah this rings so
strangely in everything that's happened in the past 20 years but especially things that are
happening around 2020 you know yes yeah oh man these cops they're not good enough they need to
beat people better no and just the general stance of the apolitical vision of say the 1992 rodney
king riots like no it was a response to justice denied so long over so many things to
view it apolitically seems crazy to me i completely agree with you this is around where like the tone
of the characters just becomes detached to what i'm used to with this and it's maybe it's just
because i haven't been re-watching the 10 through 13 seasons to see like how we've got here exactly i just like immediately i'm like oh
the morality of it the balance of it is just completely off and that's echoed to me exactly
with the way they're like half apologetic to being mean to millhouse in that little gag that's just
so wish washy like as compared to just like the sharpness of the normal where you would just be
mean to millhouse and that's the end of it.
Like you don't have to be nice about it because you understand the whole joke of it
is that the character is going to come back next episode and it's not going to matter.
Or it's not going to matter as much.
It's also a bring down that Lisa says like, thus ends the rule of law.
Like she's sounding like a very New York Times liberal opinion page person.
This is not the point they're trying to make,
but March has a point in which cops care the least when you are affected by anything like if your things get stolen the cops are just
there they don't want to be there they're kind of annoyed with you and they're just like i'm just an
arm of the insurance industry pal i'm here to prove that things were stolen and then you'll
never see me again and no justice will be served but that's not the point they're trying to make
they could make a better point about like well cops don't care if we get robbed but cops are out there protecting you know businesses and
you know the properties of millionaires but us we're being left behind but that's not what they're
trying to say at all yeah i guess when it starts with the idea of the cops aren't good enough we
gotta hire a private security firm like that if you're starting there with your vision of cops
you know there's everything's in smash but bart won't get to do it homer will allow part to drink
domestic beer but march stops that too that takes us to the commercial break strange act break the
first two act breaks are very strange and i have to wonder if these were the original act breaks
doesn't it seem like the committee being founded is the first act break right i do like the gag of
the bootleg shirt scumbag dying and saying remember me as a hero yes it goes to the destroyed town hall and this
is when quimby has to address the people there's two episodes in a row super ball reference here
yeah in the last one in frying game homer talks about how he threw a super ball so hard it broke
a lamp in this case c captain's eye socket is filled with a Super Bowl, and I am very grossed out by just the accurate sound of a glass eye,
well, now Super Bowl, landing in an eye socket,
like just the squish of it.
Yeah, somebody got like a suction cup right at the right moment
to get that sound in there.
Some things are weakening in the Simpsons repertoire in Season 13,
but not their Foley team.
Their sound people still doing great.
This is when Quimby has an answer.
I think I speak for myself, comic book guy,
and bumblebee man when I say
I blame Chief Clancy Wiggum.
Yeah, us!
You know, it's not just my fault.
You were the ones doing all the looting.
Oh, sure.
Blame the victims.
Throw some knockies at his head.
What size? People, rest assured the police department's ineptitude shall not stand i am announcing the formation of a blue ribbon
committee committee did he say blue ribbon committees don't get any better than that
man am i appeased so uh can we keep the stuff we stole i think that's implied
2002 segue joke yeah i think it's the first segue joke in the show i think so i think so
here's a good politics compliment the building of that committee of like we're forming a committee
and it instantly appeases everybody like that is i think very accurate to how people react to
politicians especially democratic politicians were like hey this thing seems pretty bad well
we're gonna form a committee and see if say the war on drugs is bad we'll get back to you i think
this is the first and only time i've heard that term blue ribbon committee i looked that up and
i guess it's just a broad term to describe a special committee that's formed. Like the Warren Commission was a blue ribbon committee.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's the best committee.
Otherwise, what you would get for like best pumpkin
or you would get the blue ribbon for those things,
you would also get that for your most special committees.
Yeah, we stopped using county fair terminology to describe things a long time ago.
Except perhaps blue ribbon, that's it.
I think, honestly,
we're spending a lot of money on the Oscars.
Just turn it into ribbons.
No more statues, just little ribbons.
Gold ribbons, maybe, rather than a blue ribbon.
But still, you give the blue ribbon to the second best, I think.
You know, we're trying to be more inclusive now.
A winner, a best follow-up.
Yeah, just stick them to the flesh of the celebrity
like they're livestock. Yeah, a fenced-off off area they just hang out there after they've won they just
yeah yeah throw feed from the audience and every future oscars the winners have to wear it every
oscar afterwards to show like their medals yeah and it has the name of the movie you can have the
little picture of the oscar statue on the ribbon
i think that that's nice compromise i also do groan at the optics of blame the victim throw
nikes and it's like they have a bag of stolen nikes like i was like boy don't like that just
don't like as a trio of dudes though i like dredrick tatum bumblebee bank and comic book
guy that's a funny three guy no i want them on the committee they cover a broad range demographically you got a small business owner a rich boxing guy and the
biggest star in the spanish-speaking community of springfield we also get a great i'd like to
hear from sideshow mel comments i agree with the hideous crone that's great now in a very similar
scene also to when homer gets a gun in the start of season nine,
which also was a riot and Homer then used that to justify buying a gun.
Homer can't do it.
He just can't care until he is forced to.
If you hadn't plugged in your dancing Santa, none of this would have happened.
I admit it.
I did screw up.
But I won't feel guilty until I can put a human face on this.
Mom! Dad! Someone stole my Malibu Stacy collection!
Marge, doesn't Lisa have a human face?
Yes, and she's crying.
That's it. Nobody messes with my little girl.
I'm gonna find those dolls.
Are you gonna call the police oh forget it they couldn't
catch a cold with a cold catching thing see when you don't use millhouse it's hard i love this kid
so you're right chris i think the millhouse stuff they've been meaner before but this i don't want
to say every joke has to be dated ghouls but this also feels like a stand-up who's guy you know hey
you're all right i make it like who's doing crowd work and feels guilty about it crowd work was
exactly the note i made it sounds like something you do to appease something like also it's true
to life in my memory too is like for a little, your parents do kind of make fun of your friend.
They can do that.
And then like you forgive them.
You know, they feed them.
They have dinner at their house every once in a while, stuff like that.
It makes up for it.
And it's, you know, how it's the complexity of childhood relationships with parents.
And then just to be like, no, no, no, I really love you.
No, no, no.
Make sure.
No, no.
All these mean jokes.
We don't mean it.
We don't mean it.
He's not really a nerd.
He's not really that.
Stop it. Stop it. I mean, Homer's long really a nerd. He's not really that. Stop it.
Stop it.
I mean, Homer's long cruelty to Milhouse is one of my favorite bits in the show.
I love when he's at dinner with Larry Burns and does your son bring stupid friends over
that you have to talk to?
He's like, oh, yeah, you know this kid Milhouse?
Homer complaining about Milhouse to Burns.
I think that's when he calls him a little wiener kid.
Yes.
Yes.
It rings truer to me in every way
whatever this is i do like doesn't lisa have a human face that's a good line but this is just
like homer the vigilante he's pushed to do it because lisa gets burgled and so this is why he
forms his group yeah this next scene though was one of the rare times a voice actor vetoed a joke
in which it was going to be homer suspicious of lisa eating an apple but yardley smith said you know i think it's better when homer actually likes lisa and isn't suspicious
of her so it changes it into bart and i think that's a better choice i think yardley was correct
it's not the most hilarious joke in the world but i think it did improve it oh absolutely him
being suspicious of lisa like that just wouldn't stand right it's just mean to lisa for no good
reason especially because he's trying to help lisa with her stolen property it's funny that he just thinks it's part
and he draws a crude drawing of bart too just eating an apple so innocently and he's like what's
he planning like that's a funny line too of course dana gould he unabashedly admits this on the
commentary he loves dragnet he put in a scene from Dragnet in the show. We have a quick
one here.
Do you sell hats? Yeah. To people?
Maybe. People with heads? Sometimes.
Dude, I need a new cap.
Uh-huh.
Did you steal
dolls from my daughter?
I think
they demean women. Well, think again think again son you're going to juvie
but i just got out of juvie good because i need directions
what makes it work best for me is the quick cuts between homer and the guy he's questioning
like just the editing is like dragnet too i love the
back and forth with the shop owner but add this to the cop thing homer simpson being pro juvie
this feels wrong to me there's something off about it i can see him like casually making the joke to
like bart just like as off-handed to whatever he says to bart but be like i'm gonna take this kid
back to juvie seems so it just doesn't sound right for him again
to compare this to homer the vigilante homer is just excellent at this job he doesn't really break
the law any he actually is really good at it in homer the vigilante half the jokes are about how
he gets drunk all the time he mainly just beats people with bags full of doorknobs i feel like
that episode had more to say about asshole white guys like him who start a group to take back the street are 10 times more violent
than the people they arrest quote unquote and i was looking this up because it was familiar
there is a dragnet scene in homer the vigilante between homer and skinner oh yeah so right i
remember it yeah right now and like they're just staring at each other yeah nodding over and over again there's the quick like back and forth between them and then just nodding back
and forth and i think okay i mean it's 2002 i feel like once you have the guy from dragnet on your
show which is what happened in mother simpsons there needs to be a moratorium on dragnet because
you can't outdo actually having the guy on your show as a guest doing dragnet bits which bill oakley and
josh wonstein did in that amazing episode and i'm all for different versions of snake holding up the
quick emart i'm all for it but like i thought this scene was just so clunkly put together
the nacho cheese as like the saving grace and the was it the muy picante line that's real corny the
only bit i liked in this other than it
feeling like homer doing the opposite of what he does when he's robbed by sideshow bob in season
one that for all of the episodes all of the stories he's had with apu in homer's mind he's
like i gotta save that clerk he says that like that made me laugh that's a nice touch i really
want to know what the original draft of this was,
because it just was supposed to be about Homer starting a home security company.
But here he's just like wandering around the city stopping crimes.
I have no idea what his job is supposed to be.
This is really a scene from Death Wish, honestly.
Speaking of things that came in in the rewrite,
this 30 second scene here is kind of fun.
It's another of those jokes of like
the show saying we've been on for a long time and 21 years ago they were saying that yes here's
homer listing his jobs you know i've had a lot of jobs boxer mascot astronaut imitation crusty
baby proofer trucker hippie plow driver food critic conceptual artistman, carny, mayor, grifter, bodyguard for the mayor,
country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber,
farmer, inventor, smithers, poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker,
fortune cookie writer, beer baron, quickie mark clerk, homophobe, and missionary.
But protecting Springfield, that gives me the best feeling of life.
Yeah, recognizing the age of the series isn't always great to point out,
but I like in the editing of the audio, they cut out like every breath,
so it sounds very unnatural.
And what saves it is homophobe, is a job Homer lists as a joke.
That's pretty great.
But, you know, there are many paid homophobes out there.
They're making better money than ever now, aren't they?
They're very well funded these days.
Actually, we're learning all about the one rich nazi guy who is paying them all off
he has a signed copy of mein kampf so and a hitler painting like all people own listen when we found
out about harlan crowe i was going to retweet the tweet about him with the gif of indiana jones
getting his mein kampf signed and i was like that's too far and then I found out he actually has that.
There will be some new billionaire creep,
but I love everybody,
all the people he's paid off rushing to his defense.
It's like, I've been to the Hitler statuary,
and it is beautiful,
and you will never be allowed in. With those scandalous words you're saying about Harlan Crowe.
He has it because he hates it.
It reminds him how much he doesn't like it.
Sorry, Henry.
No, and he has the swastika-stamped napkins. It's because he doesn't like it. Sorry, Henry. No, he has the swastika stamped napkins.
It's because he doesn't like them.
I look at them and I go,
It's the mix of that stuff with the Harry Potter fandom.
That's what really turns it into a really demented thing.
If I was cornered at a function with this guy,
I would find a way to get out.
I would very loudly proclaim that i have to go
to the bathroom and it's an emergency sir just to get away from this guy just because like is it he
has the hut that the big guy i'm sorry i didn't oh hagrid yeah hagrid's hut he has his own hagrid's
hut completely remade in his backyard it's true yeah along with the hitler teapot the statues of
hitler and stalin
the hitler signed mein kampf he's got inexplicably hagrid's hut is there it puts a chill up your
spine that's the one that i'm like most you could fill a fucking stadium with all the rich guys who
have hitler's shit in their house they all have shit in their house that stuff plus going to the
ends of the earth to remake the fucking hut from the Harry Potter movie.
It's just so demented.
Well, that guy was, what, 50 when those movies came out?
Yeah, he was 50 when the books came out.
Insane.
It's just like, who are you?
Is it for your kids?
It can't just be for the kids.
And his paintings, too, are very crazy as well.
I haven't seen those.
I'm sure I would be screaming if i well
i should say his commissioned paintings of him with like other presidents and stuff or there
was one this might be old news to to listeners now but charles murray that racist guy came out
in defense of him and people were like oh yeah because he funded multiple charles murray research
he's a guy who wrote the bell curve which is like the tempted excuse of like scientists say that black people are inferior like that horrible shit harlan crowe commission
painting of him with charles murray and they're like looking into the distance like hopeful of
like oh the future some sick shit am i wrong murray one of the guys who quote unquote wasn't
allowed to talk at berkeley like somebody i think so he was
one of the famous guys who wasn't allowed to have this free speech or whatever the fuck he's denied
a lot of stuff i swear i walked by andrew sullivan uh airport recently too and i just like just went
like should have just given him the finger to his face then he could write a whole fucking blog post
about an intolerant libtard giving in the finger but actually guys
that list homer says of jobs is not even the half of it so when i heard that list i was like i bet
they probably missed a couple and then i was noticing oh they missed more than a couple they
can't fit them all in but this is i believe the closest to a complete list of the ones he didn't
mention though i need to explain here i
don't count when homer say dresses up as santa claus and breaks into people's houses as a job
yeah it needs to be an actual like paid job he had to do or an actual job he creates for himself
so the ones not mentioned here are monorail conductor barbershop singer blackjack dealer
vigilante leader night school teacher sugar salesman tonic salesman, pin monkey, limo driver, town crier, manager at Globex, happy dude telemarketer, kids football coach, bartender, submarine captain, IRS agent, Mel Gibson collaborator, racehorse owner, prank monkey, daycare operator, pot advocateocate, and Butler in the most recent episode.
You know, they could have killed an initial like 30 seconds because with that joke and the Sopranos parody later,
that's like two minutes you don't really have to write.
I hope they didn't cut it to fit in more of that Sopranos thing to make it a complete song.
Maybe they put in all of Radar Love at one cut just so you could cut out a few of these jokes and get more of that.
I'm sure Caslan't mind saying the whole thing
oh yeah radar love that's another 30 seconds yeah that is so much he missings a good portion of that
thing so this episode really only has 16 minutes of content it was a long year you know everybody's
very antsy it's like the last day before you're going on summer break you know gotta let everybody
out everybody has to be let out.
One of the hard things for Simpsons writers is they do not have a summer break like live
action sitcom writers.
They are usually working through the summer.
Oh, and home where he becomes a security guard.
This also led me to another depressing Google search of security guard wrongful deaths.
They happen all the time.
They kill people all the time.
They have even less legal coverage than a cop could for doing it,
and yet they keep doing it.
You just hand a gun to somebody who is allowed to be scared of something,
you get a lot of wrongful deaths.
It's a.k.a. known as manslaughter or murder.
I would call it murder.
Yeah.
Homer then bullies Lenny and Carl into joining up with him.
They don't want to be each other's partner.
That's great.
That idea is inexplicable
them like him they can't believe it there's a cute scene where homer returns all of the things
he's stolen from ned ned only thanks him and he's like who said it was a he he's right ned didn't
say a gender of who's stolen he just thanked him and then homer just arrests him the logic of the
back and forth is very funny because when hom says, who said it was a he?
Ned says, well, I sure didn't.
And Homer said, who said you did?
And Ned says, nobody.
Wrong answer.
Let's go.
But that just is cops.
Like, that just is cops now.
Also, speaking of the news, did you see that thing of that poor kid who got arrested by the cops for sharing, like private chat a meme and making fun of cops that
meme was funny it's a hilarious meme it's a picture of a fat guy asleep at his like computer
thing and it says computer desk saying cops waiting for the school shooter to kill himself
before they can go in i mean that also with afro man getting in trouble because he used the footage
from his own security cameras of his home
when the police raided it and found jack shit and he used it for a music video and now they're suing
him for defamation oh it's so good i love that i love that video it's like what do you think you're
gonna find in my cd case i think is one of the because that kid being arrested for the cop meme
i was reading that thread and there were like a lot of other funny memes in it.
The thread about how the kid got arrested.
And one of them was a kid crying at his desk.
And the text is, it's career day.
His dad is a cop and he refuses to enter the school.
I'm glad these kids who constantly have to do shooter drills, or at least they're having fun.
They're going to be 10 times as cynical as we were coming out of holobite man like they're definitely going to be
sharper in general also the internet just chisels it away yeah they've been boiled in irony even
more than us by the internet for sure there was another like horrific active shooter thing
recently well we're a month away yeah okay well this goes live in a month this was 17 mass shootings
ago then what i'm saying but yeah there was that one on the college campus and the college campus
like tweeted out there's an active shooter run hide fight that apparently is what they actually
teach the kids and active shooter drills but i was like if you have to come up with like a stop
drop and roll for mass shootings because they happen so much like that is just stop having a society now you know like let's just quit take the breaks at least i think we
should just take a break for a little bit think about it for a little bit oh after ned is arrested
it's then time for a funny funny commercial i do like this yes and we'll get to it but dana
gould has said on the commentary and at our live show it contains his favorite line that he ever wrote in an episode oh here's my
commercial a monster is this you if it is don't dial 9-1-1 simply dial 636-555-3472.
Help me, Spring Shield!
Have no fear! Spring Shield's present!
Thank you, Spring Shield.
Friend?
The only friend you need is Spring Shield.
Monster put in wallet.
That commercial is very effective.
You know, the old lady's apartment was actually Lenny's.
We just used a different duvet cover.
Well, they're both lovely.
Yeah, monster put in wallet.
Dana Gould said it's his favorite thing that he wrote for the show.
It's something about like it's a Cookie Monster-ish type voice of just like, friend.
It sticks out for sure.
I think I gave that one a giggle.
As Homer starred in bad commercials before this lots of times, but this is a good parody of a bad local commercial i'll always laugh at silly bad commercials like this
they're always funny to me and also that in the world of it they say this on the commentary too
they're like so wait is this a real monster is this like or just a very committed actor
dana gould also loves hokey movie monsters from the 60s and 50s yeah i
love how the animators handled great too it's like his eyes are glued in his position they are not
movable working eyes too i love the delivery on the phone number jokes like that are like what
always crack me up him like just not doing it the way anybody would deliver a phone number to you
if you were giving someone a phone number,
just like completely off rhythm.
It's perfect.
Three, four, seven, two.
And not even turning it into a word or anything memorable.
And also have no fear, Spring Shield's present.
Yes, and accounted for.
And that Lenny's bedroom looks just like an old lady's.
They just have to change the duvet cover.
And Marge likes either of them it's funny then we have like a scene out of like a dick tracy
comic or something of a newsy tanking homer and like oh shucks and also i like hearing luigi go
like i shine up a nice pizza for you you know i really feel like that mario movie drew the line
in the sand and it's saying we can't do these accents anymore. And I reject that. I need these pizza box men in my life.
They bring me joy.
Go big.
It wasn't exactly as distracting as I thought it was going to be.
But like, yeah, the lack of that Italian pomp, it sunk that movie.
I mean, of the many things that I hated about it, that was pretty high up there.
Fully don't think this was the intention of the movie but i now read it as
well yeah mario luigi these characters were born in like 1995 or whatever they're like fourth
generation italian americans they don't talk with an accent you know yeah they're not italian they're
italian americans i guess i get that it's just like but then then immediately if i buy that then
the chris prattiness of it immediately starts
annoying me i just can't win on that one new york's own chris pratt he sounds so new york
he's such a man of the streets so this is where the only deleted scene in the episode is and it's
a secret one in the dvd menu it's not a bad scene after luigi polishes off with putting a bunch of
grease on his shirt he rubs it on his sleeve and then blows on it like like he's like shining up a glass or something though i mean we all have taken a napkin
to a greasy pizza slice once in our life twice but i was told to i was instructed to on many
occasions not so much anymore after that shot dolphin kearney are thanking homer they're wearing
like letterman jackets and they're saying, thanks for arresting Jimbo.
Without his influence in our lives, we're honor students.
And Homer like ruffles Dolph's hair of like, oh, you.
That got cut.
Then it goes to the kids starting to feel pride and holding their head up high.
Yeah.
Great, awesome foley of just their vertebrae snapping inside their bodies.
I love Lisa's delivery of that's the pride not that's the
stuff but like that's the pride they've only felt less shame for homer now they finally can
experience pride been a long time since deep space homer and it's dinner time homer gets served a
dinner that's all desserts including one dessert that's three desserts but you know what i think
that's four desserts because i see three slices of pie or cake inside a jello mold
which to my account is four desserts i don't know maybe it's two slices of cake that just count as
cake pie and jello maybe that's how i would quantify it yeah when you're the king of the
county like he is you can say oh that's three doesn't matter what the actual number is triple
desserts would be better than quadruple desserts i suppose it's as a word it's
funny so then in this strange fictional world the police are filmed on camera doing bad behavior and
instantly fired for their actions as quimby fires the cops mr mayor you've been unflinching in your
support of chief wiggum yes i still believe in our duly appointed police force. Behind these doors are the finest cops ever
to wriggle into size 46 pants.
Wiggum?
Ha ha ha! Am I
getting warmer? Clancy,
you're a disgrace!
And in my blind rage,
I hereby turn over all this town's
police duties to Homer Simpson
and Spring Shield.
Woo-hoo! I'm Chief of Police!
Police? Uh-oh.
Oh, wait. It's better the other way.
See, that joke, it reminds you of the beer-bearing episode,
except it is a great reverse that mo's
like oh wait a minute if i had it the right way why did i pull the lever i bet they wanted to
get paul lank on there for one line wouldn't justify it would have been his return to the
show too wigum loses his job which also happens in the beer bearing episode it's a lot of the
same stories here patchwork it feels like patches of the stuff we've seen before it's hard to not think of these
things i don't want to hold them too accountable but when you walk into the police station and see
absurd behavior i don't think a shotgun and a piñata is enough because previously we've seen
a lot of things happen in the police department including putting squirrels down your pants for
the purposes of gambling yeah yeah that's crazier than the shocking i guess not as violent but this is when it becomes high noon because well okay yes i know it's more directly an
andy griffiths show scene but also in high noon before the big shootout he frees the
town drunk as well in that one too i do like this comedy about the town drunk.
Now that I am the law, I'm going to make a lot of changes around here.
First, I'm going to cut overhead by freeing Otis, the lovable town drunk.
You can let me go, but I'll just keep exposing myself at the ball.
What a character. Cool. A lie detector lisa is a dork
lisa is a dork dad make him stop according to this he's telling the truth
can't tell a lie i just like seeing funny old otis and it's like well the actual town drunk would be exposing himself at the mall to
people we then cut to fat tony comes into the story here do you think this was a third act
edition just like absolutely to liven things up the addition of beloved character fat tony which
i think he does add a lot i don't need the sopranos parody but i do like seeing him i always love
seeing fat tony i've learned as we've learned very recently al jean
loves fat tony he does a fat tony episode every season this season in season 34 he wrote the fat
tony episode that's how much he wants to make fat tony a yearly thing so yeah i definitely think
this is a late edition of like all right let's have fat tony even though this face off also this is from
when marge becomes a pretzel lady like they drive up to the lawn even to kill them just like in the
pretzel fight it honestly does feel like a pastiche of several other episodes i mean i guess it is
accurate to the time like 9-11 happens all of a sudden the mafia is not what it used to be it is
not the great terror that it once was but like the idea that
you would have fat tony and his cohorts are the ones who are actually making the fake poodles out
of the ferrets it just seems so off to me like to me it would make more sense that homer busts
someone selling poodles and he finds out their ferrets and then they track it to fat tony would
just make more sense to me as a joke i guess but they have to speed it up they got they gotta make time for sopranos oh yeah i guess
they have to do the whole fucking minute and a half of the sopranos gag so they can't do that
to me was just unbelievable as a gag well and the fake poodles is just the rat milk but like
a little less funny you're right yeah absolutely you're right milk and rats that was funnier yes
they you haven't watched godfather 2 recently what fat tony says to the poodle or ferret wearing the
wire is what michael says to fredo and godfather part two you are nothing to me so yes they cut to
homer triumphant the news loves them there's ferrets everywhere which kid loves wiggum just
like this also feels like it's late in the season.
My teacher says she's tired of trying.
Yeah, well, so am I, Ralphie.
So am I.
Everybody's very tired.
And now it's time for a rare interaction of Fat Tony and Bill and Marty.
Daddy, how come you're not at work?
I don't know.
How come you're not at school? I don't know. How come you're not at school?
My teacher says she's tired of trying.
Yeah, well, so am I, Ralphie. So am I.
Hey, it's Bill and Marty on the line right now with Springfield's very own Fat Tony.
I wish to announce that my associates and I will gun down Homer Simpson if he has not left town by noon tomorrow.
Wow, that's quite a threat.
Do you have a song request?
Radar love.
If that thug thinks he can run me out of town.
Oh man, I love this song.
I've been driving all night and it's wet on the wheel.
Do-do-do-do-do.
There's a voice in my head that drives my heel.
Do-do-do-do-do.
It's my baby calling on the telephone. Do-do-do-do-do It's my baby calling on the telephone
Do-do-do-do-do
I got some pizza and I'm bringing it home
Do-do-do-do-do
So it was Little Girl and the Big Ten.
It was just Dan Castaneda doing his own ad-lib Chumbawamba parody, right?
It's him doing this here.
And Carolyn Lomino's like, you just set Dan up
and he'll just do a bunch of versions of any song you give him.
And remember the pot episode?
He's singing Foghat wrong, too.
Was it Foghat?
No, Foghat's in the East.
It's Purple Haze.
Yeah.
That, like many episodes in season 13, that episode has so many songs I can't remember it all.
Yeah.
No, season 13 is about Homer singing songs wrong.
And I mean, Dan is funny.
It's fun fun and his energy
is great and radar love is a fun song too it's a good gag i can't deny it every time it happens
i'm happy like i guess in general like just homer singing i will have a burned in my brain one of
the last things i will remember as i am dying is him singing spanish flea song alone in the car
i remember it so perfectly.
And that whole moment just perfectly.
And this is just an echo of that.
It's one that works.
It does feel like a running gag with Homer.
I love the two tickets to paradise.
Oh yeah.
When he does like the entire solo.
There's always,
including in this one,
the animators did such great posing on Homer doing the air guitar.
And also I love,
and you can hear it in the sound.
Homer like does a...
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Drum roll too, while in between like,
there's a lot of fun stuff on it though.
This isn't even the first use of radar.
I love in the show.
That was in the Bart on the road driving montage.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
That was great use of it too.
And so then we get the most
well the second high noonie is to scene in the episode as they head to the church and that's a
great scene in the movie when Gary Cooper is in which also Gary Cooper a hero of Tony Soprano his
Tony Soprano's catchphrase in the show is what have happened to Gary Cooper meaning what happened
to real men that's his way of talking in the movie high noon have happened to gary cooper meaning what happened to real men that's
his way of talking in the movie high noon i love that church scene everybody is finding new excuses
to be like i don't wanna but does it have a jar jar binks joke no sadly maybe couldn't do it
you all know me i've kept the streets safe for you and your children. I've tricked or treated at many of your houses.
Last year, I was Jar Jar Binks.
Now, who will stand and fight with me?
I'm with you, Homer.
Shut up, Flanders. Anyone else?
What about you, Dr. Hibbert?
Oh, um, well, I'd love to help you, Homer,
but I have too darn much to live for.
I just discovered Thai food. I'd help you, but I have too darn much to live for. I just discovered Thai food.
I'd help you, but I have yet to kiss a human girl.
And I've got a TiVo full of unwatched Dharma and Gregs.
Sorry, Homer.
I'm a coward now, like all recovering alcoholics.
After everything I did, you're going to abandon me?
Homie, please.
Why don't you just leave town? What what and let them come after you and the kids
we could come with you in one car with no air conditioning and the little poop machine going
every 20 minutes that unnecessary shot of recovering alcoholics was so mean it caught
me by surprise this time too i love how mean it is a recovering alcoholic is a coward
because you couldn't you couldn't handle your drain like i mean that is a cruel toxic thing
that stops people from recovering but it is a shock laugh it is a strong shock laugh it's a
fastball at the end of something most of them i'm like oh that's funny enough and then all of a
sudden it's like where the fuck did that come from like that almost has that swartz welder sting to it it's like more particularly mean also to barney for no reason
but like the typhoon thing i also was like oh yeah that's about when i found out about typhoon
yeah yeah it's great in this next scene it reminds me of what we were talking about earlier with that
kind of like shrug of a line when wigam goes so am i ral Ralphie so am I the the joke in this scene is Homer asking
Lenny and Carl like why'd you lock yourselves in jail and Lenny's like why does anybody do anything
I don't feel like writing a joke anybody do anything Carl gets one more line it just ends
it just feels like I don't feel like writing something funny for Lenny to say why do I have
to do anything I have a vacation coming up will you please we know like they talk about it a lot
they are very tired by the end of a season.
And some of these later shows in this season do suffer because of that.
Oh, and also talk about 2002 feel to it.
A joke about TiVo, Dharma and Greg, and Jar Jar Binks.
Like, yeah, all in a row.
Episode two is in theaters when this episode airs.
And it's like third week in theaters.
Of course, I mean, Attack of the Clones clones when i say episode two this was a catastrophic month isn't this when the i-40 disaster happened as well
oh i don't know i think it was like happened right after this but like yeah i mean attack
of the clones you do not need a bigger portent of doom like than that that's enough that would
have been fine but then yeah then this episode like this
airs yes chris we have like four days before the i-40 disaster it's may 26 this is may 22nd
a cursed month absolutely a cursed month all right it's sopranos time now henry you kind of
like it right you're you've seen a few i've seen a few no it only comes up on every show
look i love the sopranos i just did a full rewatch of him with my
husband who never saw it before i do still think it's probably the best american drama tv show
there ever was i still feel certain that and but this moment so the advertisements and i dropped
it in and for the listeners are early in the show the advertisements made it all about the sopranos
and when i saw that i was like but especially i went like because they draw in characters from the show but they didn't get the
voices it feels like it is made to make you think you're getting guest voices from the sopranos in
the show and you do not get that they draw in christopher maltisanti paulie walnuts and salvatore
yeah and but they're not in it i will say how it was advertised is all up to marketing,
and that's not what the writers did.
They're not guilty of that.
What they are guilty of is what they're guilty of
in terms of dropping in songs people like.
It's like, oh, people like seeing the Sopranos characters.
Let's just have them show up.
They're not going to say anything or do anything.
And it'd be funny if they owned up to it in the show.
Like, Fat Tony could be like, these are my friends. They're the baritones or something like that but they don't even acknowledge it just like
my friends from new jersey are here and that's it and it's only because people would like to see
them yep it's like they they they paid a character it's like draw me as a simpsons character basically
do you just know if they did they even ask like tony cirico or any of i forget the name of the
guy who plays big pussy and did they ask any of, I forget the name of the guy who plays Big Pussy,
and did they ask any of them to come in for a voice?
Because it just does seem weird to have Pauly Walnut's character there,
and he doesn't say anything.
He's not really a character.
He's just part of the tight-lipped, Joey Tightlips?
What is the name?
Oh, Johnny Tightlips.
Johnny Tightlips.
Now, he's a hoot.
I love seeing him.
You know, they don't
mention trying to get people they do get michael imperioli in season 18 who's christopher on the
show and joey pants joey pantoliano one of my faves he's in a few seasons on the show too
i do think that the timing that episode in season 18 airs between the two parts of season
six, the end of the series.
So I'm wondering if by that time, David Chase was feeling a little more controlling of like,
look, don't do cameo.
You can't cash in on the cameos yet.
As the series is winding down, you're getting more of the cash in on cameos.
Like they all just start appearing in commercials all the time basically just playing
themselves i think the issue here is that i'm fine with the simpsons doing long parodies of
you know openings of things like especially tv shows like homer simpson he's about to hit a
chestnut tree the flintstones open that's very funny but i think the sopranos opening does not
leave a lot of room for jokes so when you do do a parody of it, there's really nothing you can do except like we're going to drive by three funny things.
But that's not a good platform for parody, which is why I don't think it's been done really a lot parodying that opening.
Well, I mean, openings also why a thing like the Flintstones opening work is because the underlying message of something like that.
He's about to hit a chest like the underlying thing is like, don't get obsessed with these things because they will lead you to like get into car
accidents yes there's dangers to this like in this it's just like no it's really cool that they opened
a show like this like that's essentially the message of it it's not even that like there is
something to tv obsession or repetition or anything like that.
It's just like,
it's really cool how they opened that show is essentially the whole thing.
You really nailed it,
Chris,
because with the Flintstones parody opening,
it's like Homer thinks he's Fred Flintstone.
He slides through a play class window and gets in a car accident because he's
obsessed with an old cartoon.
And this one,
it just like,
wouldn't it be fun to see the Sopranos on here?
Let's do it.
It would be funny.
And a key component there too a difference i realize here is that they wrote a parody song of the flintstones and homer sings it
this is just paid for the alabama three song and just played it they didn't write a parody of that
song they didn't like i don't know woke up this morning got yourself a donut this is that's not
comedy writers that's the first bit but they're like people love that t-shirt have you been to a state fair lately the only joke that came through to me
at all was vinnie's butterfats ice cream factory i thought that was a funny name they don't even
hold on that and just to repeat that crusty's a pervert again coming out of the 99 cent porn
store mo waving while he's robbing somebody i
gave me a little chuckle yeah it's not bad ralphie is also not bad this is a year after season three
aired of sopranos like everybody had done a sopranos parody by may 2002 like this is four
months before season four airs about half the series has aired at this point yeah after this
extended parody it did cheer me up to hear julie kabner go pizza man yes i like that also i think
on the commentary dana gould kind of ribs them for not making up enough new jokes for it i do think
though that the director pete michaels is rightly proud of their execution of it there's actually
like they have to do slow-mo they have to do perspective changes a quarter turn around of driving by the jebediah springfield statue
in execution it's well done i think pete michaels who's also apparently from jersey well yeah chris
actually from your neck of the woods i was watching sopranos is like wow the magical world
of new jersey i'll never go there how'd it feel to you guys well i mean it was very
intense it started my like last year or so of high school and like i lived next to a i'm sorry to say
like a very stereotypical italian teenager young man uh my friend mark and he was obsessed with it
and like he didn't get any of the like critique of it at all
he was totally just like tony is so cool i remember clear as day at the bus stop every talk about it
and it was like talking about what your war strategy would be in such a case these are like
15 16 year olds discussing what like going to war in the new York, New Jersey streets would be like. And I laugh when I think about it and how obsessed I was with it.
My dad lived in Parsippany for a while, so he did know the area a bit.
I mean, part of what's so amazing about the show is how much they play with the geography of New Jersey.
And like they really do have him driving all over that place.
For me, it's amazing because like it's not a joke thing.
Like I preferred being in New york to being in new
jersey but like in the show i was just so rabidly go tony over the new york chapter i was just like
no fuck the new york chapter i fucking hate them some of the fuck guys he's an asshole i don't like
him at all i think it's johnny as well well there's johnny sack yeah and then of course there's phil
leotardo after him yeah yes phil leotardo, who has the fun encounter with the tire.
Ooh, yeah.
We're talking about final episodes here.
The man changes a tire.
Sounds like a great show, guys.
Okay, my last thought on just the Soprano thing,
that it is, I don't want to be too mean of like,
oh, they drew them into the show,
because Fat Tony and his characters only exist
because they saw Goodfellas,
and they just literally drew the Goodfellas characters into the show.
But they did make characters with those Goodfellas characters.
Like these Sopranos characters don't say shit in this episode.
It is kind of a novelty to see like it's not even a baton being passed, a baton being shared where it's like here is the 1991 gangster parody.
Here is the 2001 gangster parody.
They're like sharing a scene
together we can see how that genre has changed also as much as everybody loves the cast of
sopranos and i do too he hired 75 of the cast of goodfellas like it's just it's all the same
actors it's not they didn't have to discover too many people they're just like oh it was that guy
okay that guy that was in goodfellas that guy that guy that guy like it's everybody it just
feels so off like then just to have poly walnuts there because i didn't even really recognize the
other ones right off the bat like one i guess kind of looks like christopher but not he's got his
nose yeah but like the walnuts i was just like why even have him there then? Just make it another one of the like other side gangsters you've had with Tony at any other time.
I mean, there have been a couple other ones I remember.
Or draw a big pussy in there.
Yeah, there you go.
That's fine.
There's a long, long drive and it ends with them driving up to the lawn of the Simpsons house just like the opening of The Sopranos.
This is when Marge tries to talk some sense into these Italian-Americans.
Is your husband at home?
Fat Tony, how can you do this?
Sorry, but this is the business we've chosen.
But you're just perpetuating a negative Italian-American stereotype.
I mean, you could be a pizza man,
organ grinder,
a leaning tower maker,
and...
Did I say pizza man?
You are listing my broken dreams.
I don't get it.
I finally did a job where I wasn't lazy, stupid, or corrupt,
and now I'm going to get killed for it.
That's a good point.
Homer never does a job good, but he's good at this job.
He was pretty corrupt with Flanders.
Okay, true.
But otherwise.
Doesn't count with Flanders.
Doesn't count with Flanders.
Yes.
Another thing that makes this episode weak is, again,
I don't know what Homer's job is.
We only see him do two things at his job, really.
So it's unclear what he's doing, how this business works.
If it's just him and Lenny and Carl, it's just, it's very odd.
Shouldn't there have been a scene of Homer interacting with Eddie and Lou?
Yeah.
And what if Eddie and Lou met Lenny and Carl?
That's a fun foursome.
Same voice actors.
Yeah.
It becomes the high noon ending.
Nobody's going to help Homer.
And then boom, somebody starts shooting them off screen.
Who's doing it?
Homer says it's Guardian Angel with a rifle.
And apparently this is all thanks to good old Jim Brooks.
You know they were having problems when Jim Brooks is airlifted in to come up with an ending.
And then he's off to Spanglish Town.
It's like, guys, it's called Spanglish.
I got to calm down Adam. He thinks this is a waste of his time i don't know why this whole ending i guess my biggest problem with it is that it also ends
with the button being they also play the alabama three song one more time yeah yeah like the fact
that it's maggie i guess it didn't bug me because i was like just end this i haven't been with this
at all so just like get me out of here.
So fine.
Yeah, it's fine.
It's Maggie.
Sounds great.
You know, we're talking about needle drops.
Chris, what did you think of the John Wick 4 trailer?
It's not in the movie, but the John Wick 4 trailer being a remix of the Alabama 3 song.
I mean, Steve, my co-host on We Hate Movies, has long been anti-trailer.
Now we save them for we do a youtube
show on mondays around noonish and we look at shows then but like in the theater i try to keep
my headphones in and like keep my eyes down it's because of stuff like this i did end up seeing the
john mcforrower trailer like right before i saw the movie and like i squirmed a little bit when
i heard that i will admit the thing, it's not quite as bad to me
as the slow down dramatic ballad version
of whatever pop song
to make it sound more dramatic in the movie.
I remember recently Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down
got turned into some slow piano ballady thing.
And I was like, I just can't stand it so anything
that's even a little bit different from that i will take it but still not great yeah you're
totally right chris with any trailer you have about five seconds of joy before you realize
what they're mangling or what cover you're listening to and then you're like oh god really
come on and i miss when trailers were just like walking on sunshine and i feel good and maybe
even like
the instrumental version of what's this from Nightmare Before Christmas I miss those days
when it was all just like here are the five trailer songs you can use or like the Requiem
for a Dream soundtrack yeah that got a lot too but now it's just like what can we slow down and
then put a vroom between each lyric also like the crisis of less people going to the movies
their first response to that
was not it was too expensive and that the movies were being turned into like the same product over
and over again the problem was of course is that they weren't being sold the right way so what they
did is they're like let's tell them the entire movie maybe that will sell them they'll know where
the whole thing's going so then they'll know they like it before they even see it that'll definitely work and not annoy people well surprise surprise my wife showed me
one of those that made me freak out in terms of songs that are being reused in dramatic ways in
which it was the trailer for i don't watch these movies so i didn't know this the age of ultron
where it used i've got no strings but in like a very dramatic, slowed down way. It freaked me out.
Yeah.
It upset me.
And I didn't even care about Pinocchio.
I just thought, no, you can't.
Whatever that is, it cannot be creepier than the Zemeckis Pinocchio.
The whole experience of taking that in.
It can't even, it can't compare.
Speaking of how movie theaters promote themselves, there's the ironic love of the Nicole Kidman
AMC thing, but there's another thing
i've noticed lately i definitely saw it before top gun and i just watched a few weeks ago the dnd
movie which i thought was good not great that was good but at my screening i don't know if you saw
this at your screen too chris that it started with like a two minute thing of the cast going like
thank you for seeing it in the movies and the movies are where to see movies on the big screen this stuff drives me it's the same thing with how like you watch a
trailer on youtube now there's a five second trailer for the trailer before you watch the
trailer it's the same thing we're like what we have to do is oversell that's the only way we're
going to get ourselves out of this jam so we're going to have the celebrities come out personally to sell you, even though we've already paid the ticket.
Thank you.
As if you're like kings who purchase tickets to the gladiator show.
It's so weird to me.
It's so off putting.
And again, I keep my headphones in.
I only see movies in Canada for the most part these days.
But recently I saw one in America.
By recently, I mean like November with Henry.
And I saw the Nicole Kidman thing for the first time, but I saw one thing that they don't do in Canadian movie theaters in which it's like, pay attention to the nearest exits in case of any dangers.
And they keep going over these instructions.
I'm like, oh, you're talking about active shooters.
Just say it.
You're freaking me out.
Yeah, yeah.
There are three riot shields located underneath your chair.
At first, I was like, wait, I'm not in a plane.
Why are you telling me where the exits are?
Oh, right, because we'll have to run out if they are 15.
Oh, boy.
Just in case something happens, you just have to know.
But also, yes, the movies are magical.
This is where we go to dream and all that stuff that Nicole Kidman sang.
Sometimes gunshots break that magic, but the magic survives.
You know, enjoy the movie, but keep your head on a swivel.
You know what?
Just be aware of your surroundings like just be ready for anything anything can
happen at the movies right yeah chris i think it even said be aware of your surroundings
where i was like this is not about a fire at all guys you see shit like that and then you have to
also sit through what's the other one all the movie quotes guys i think it's regal who does this
it's a trailer of people going to the
movies speaking only in movie quotes yeah yeah i see i don't go to regal as much but actually they
shut down the regal in our neighborhood it's like a cheese grater to your brain it's just one of the
most and then they have danny trejo at the end of course they do all that priest stuff and then to
be like uh just you know don't worry but we do have
you know very weird open carry laws in this state you know just be ready i missed the roller coaster
through a constellation of popcorn i missed that can we get back to that i was actually scared by
that last pop always every time i like putting my hands in the air like i was actually on a
roller coaster now i have to interview the person next to me to make sure they're not loaded
but all right yes it was james l brooks who pitched that maggie would pull out a gun in Like I was actually on a roller coaster. Now I have to interview the person next to me to make sure they're not loaded.
But all right.
Yes, it was James L. Brooks who pitched that Maggie would pull out a gun in the ending here.
I'm not even against that, but they had to go so obvious.
This again is like they could have just shown Maggie hide her gun and then look at the camera. But instead, the characters have to just say this out loud.
They don't have the I'll just play the clip.
Johnny Tight Lips, can you see the shooter?
I see a lot of things.
You know, you could be a little more helpful.
Oh, man.
Oh, homie, I'm so glad you're alive.
Yeah, but this town doesn't deserve me.
I'm giving this badge to the next guy I see.
That's funny, because this is how I got the job the first time.
I'm so glad this all worked out.
Thanks for saving my husband, Chief.
Hey, I didn't shoot anybody.
They took my gun, they took my badge.
Hell, they would have taken my squad car if I hadn't hid it under some hay.
Well, then who shot all the gangsters?
They must have a guardian angel with a rifle.
Time to check in on our little sweetie pie.
Oh, she's taking a nap.
Yeah, probably dreaming about the time she shot Mr. Burns.
She's just like Clark Kent.
When there's lots of excitement excitement she's nowhere to be
found nighty night sweetie great yep i mean the one good joke is homer not understanding that
clark kent is superman yes yeah i feel like they have to remind you like she shot somebody before
this isn't cheating or we're
not just making up that she shoots people and she's done that smile before i remember i've seen
that in arsenal before also if it is like an ending like a superman quote wouldn't it make
more sense to end like with a little bit of the superman theme or something the echo of the alabama
three song is just so weird to me oh she's a gangster too is that what you're saying yeah wait but she's
not she helped the law in that yeah at all she's not at all again it feels like a choice of people
like hearing that song we paid for the song let's play it again i'm sure they were thinking like
this will be on the internet headlines all tomorrow like simpsons perfectly parodies sopranos
i was gonna say huff, but this is 2002,
so I guess just E! News Online
and the Entertainment Weekly website.
Ain't it cool, perhaps?
Oh, ain't it cool?
Yeah.
Moriarty is going to be talking all about it.
This episode, though, I will say quite a mess,
and we've complained enough about it,
but hey, I'm looking at season 14.
This has been a real rollercoaster,
but I think season 14 is much better.
You have to get beyond the Marge getting breast implants and the Marge getting buff and stepping on you episodes.
But after that, it's smooth sailing.
Oh, okay.
And yes, so this episode, though, it's clearly end of the year senior writers and them rescuing a script that died at a table read for unspoken of reasons on the commentary.
So they did the best they could a few
things in here make me laugh but boy there's some lazy stuff in there and maybe they should have
just went with another script i don't know i mean the lazy stuff that's in act three film i mean
it's more obvious references i bet dana ghoul didn't have all these obvious references i'm very
used to that when al jean thinks a third act doesn't work he shoves in obvious references like soprano's
parody does not feel like dana gould to me no that's not separating church and it is funny
their use of the sopranos of this is an easy on-ramp to talking about dana gould's then wife
who i think she just stopped being an executive anna perna yes sue nagel yes i'm with you bob a rocky episode an up from frying game i
would say too but a fitting conclusion to season 13 i would say it has many of the hallmarks of
season 13 at least there's a couple like shock laughs incredibly cruel data cooled line oh and
of course it has bad politics everything i watch must have good politics yes
absolutely chris uh final thoughts on this one i mean i think it's very representative of the
season in general as henry kind of remarked on feels like even the frying game i remember feeling
very much there's a disjointed connection between the epa scream pillar thing and the old lady who
lives in the house thing it just feels like they're just
like uh these are two general ideas we have smash them together we'll figure it out this felt like
just a couple ideas thrown together mix it up shake it up we'll get a finale out of it and like
you know it's not their fault necessarily that it has to remind me that Ricky Martin's a monster or that the Blue Man Group was a real cultural touchstone for a while there.
Maybe they'd blow me away if I went to see them.
I'm more of a stomp man.
But all this stuff, it just throws me back to the Bush era so quickly.
And it's not its fault that it does that, but it does do that.
And that plus the thing not being particularly well written really it bums me out nobody likes
being mentally back in the george w bush first term especially yeah it's a rough time even
celebrity boxing couldn't cheer us up no no not even but if you go with the fists uh but thank
you so much chris for being back on the show please let us know more about we hate movies
and all the amazing stuff you're doing on your patreon as well this goes live in mid-may so
maybe you can tell us where you guys will be then.
Oh, yeah.
We are going to be on tour just around now on the 18th.
We're going to be in San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club.
We're going to be talking about a Star Trek 4, I believe.
The Voyage Home is the one we're doing,
the one with the Golden Gate Bridge on the cover, on the poster.
And then on the 22nd, we're going to be at the Hollywood Improv talking about Twins.
That's in Los Angeles, California.
Of course, tickets are on sale at our website.
Oh, and also on June 10th, we are going to be at the State Theater in New Jersey,
in New Brunswick, talking about the Birdcage.
That's a charity event, a pride event that we're
doing so we love movies we we don't do those too often as for the show we do all those are on sale
at our website whmpodcast.com slash tour we do a episode that drops for free every tuesday that's
on your itunes wherever you get your podcast and And then we have a Patreon, patreon.com slash wehatemovies.
We do a Star Wars show.
We do a Star Trek show, talking mostly original series and next generation.
We do a We Love Movies.
We do a Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place show.
And we do a Lifetime Movie Show.
We do so much.
We put it up monthly.
Go to patreon.com slash we have movies.
Check it out.
We'd love to have you.
And thank you guys so much for having me again.
I love doing this.
Of course.
We'll find a better episode for you next time.
Yes,
promise.
We swear.
Yeah,
we,
we can't wait to see that cop show.
If you're listening to this,
if you go to it,
you might just see me and Bob there.
We'll be there,
but not performing.
And we won't be funny.
No.
Yeah.
We will be very humorous. Yeah. Probably going to be pointing them out at some point and saying
hi but yes don't expect them on stage necessarily i and also i really have been enjoying you guys's
youtube show i love hearing your immediate thoughts at like the box office of the weekend
and all that it's a lot of fun yeah thank you so much we've been just doing that recently
on mondays it's interesting to me because andrew of course used to work at the jacob burns film center and like has some real
experience with how the numbers work at small theaters as much as big theaters it has been
interesting even for me just being able to listen to his insights about that yeah it's been really
cool chris thank you chris thank you guys so much thanks again to Chris Cabin for being on the show please check out We Hate
Movies and everything that they do ask for us if you want
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into an animated feature film crazy in depth just like we do an episode of the simpsons that means we often talk for over six hours about classic animated movies this last month in april we did our annual
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Thanks so much for listening, folks.
We'll see you again next time
for season three's brother,
Can You Spare Two Dimes?
And we'll see you then. No cops in sight.
If I'm going to save that clerk, I'm going gonna have to take the law into my own hands again.
Jeez!
Oh! That's muy picante!
Eww!
Oh, Homer, you are so brave.
If anyone deserves to take a penny, it is you.
Oh, well.
Hmm...
Oh, well. No.
Come on, come on. There's only one in there.