Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - $pringfield (Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Learned To Love Gambling)

Episode Date: April 19, 2017

Gambling comes to Springfield and everyone loves it, ESPECIALLY Marge! Also, we’ve got Goulet, prophetic tiger attacks, rich Texans, and much more in this week’s podcast…

this episode of talking simpsons is brought to you by audible and you listeners can go to audibletrial.com slash laser time and get started with a free 30-day trial and get a free audiobook i heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, hoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, where we fear the mighty gambler. I am your host, slot jockey Bob Mackie, and this is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Who else is here with me today? Henry Gilbert, and I don't want to hit a sore spot here but we can we talk about herpes don't sing the song uh captain herpes chris antista here i'll tell you anything you need to know and don't drink

off my beer can chris and uh today's episode is springfield with a dollar sign or how i learned to stop worrying and love legalized gambling i'm trying to teach the baby to gamble and uh today's episode aired on december 16th 1993 and chris will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real world history oh my god I wanna shoot, baby Shoot! I'm doing it. I'm shooting all over the room here. Whoa. Everyone is shooting with salt and pepper.

The Grateful Dead becomes this year's highest grossing concert act. The U.S. box office has broken all-time records, thanks to No Small Park and Jurassic Park, and the original Joker, Cesar Romero, is dead. Did they paint over his mustache when they were doing his makeup for the funeral? I think he eventually shaved. Aw, what a bummer. I didn't realize he was a big old homosexual until listening to the Gilbert Gottfried podcast.

That's how I found out. I really want someone to validate that story Gilbert tells about how he paid men to throw orange slices at his ass, at his bare ass. That's very specific. It is. I mean, it's too specific to not be real. Like the thing about Danny Thomas and other celebrities having people shit on coffee tables, glass coffee tables, as they lie under them. Maybe his dad sold bananas,

and that's how he got back at him, helping the citrus industry. Hey, you know, we can deconstruct kinks all day. I'm not kink-shaming. Have as many orange slices thrown at any part of your body as you want. It's fine by me. It wasn't clear this is the last episode of 1993.

You're in stats in the news there. Creeping in 1994. It's kind of scary. But yeah, it's December 13th where I think I knew Cesar Romero. I mean, I knew the Joker. For some reason, I can name everybody who played a Batman villain. I really do love that show. They were all the best. I got the Joker. For some reason, I can name everybody who played a Batman villain. I really do love that show.

They were all the best. I got the soundtrack on vinyl, including a theme for everybody this week. I'm so excited. I love the original Batman show. I shouldn't know about it, but I grew up watching it three times a day. It was on a lot. They made a lot of episodes in, what, three years? Yeah.

I think 100 episodes every year. You know, the guest stars was kind of a simpson style thing where batman became so cool and so popular that by the especially by the second season like we can get anybody we got jaja gabor or ava price will pay the egg man exactly they could get so many famous people on it just for one episode or two-parter i think by far it had the sexiest cat women yes all of batman dumb and i'm not slogging on michelle fiber she was fine julie newmar oh and who's the mary weather you just know that bob because that's oh adam west but i watched the original batman you know i was like these cat women hmm ed romero frank

gore should burgess meredith and also in the first Catwoman episode of Batman 66 is Leslie Gore, who I have gotten no end of comments of me of like, she's not a one-hit wonder. You said she was with Sunshine Lollipops. Like, you're right. I was wrong. She's had tons of hits. I'm sorry.

Leslie Gore is great. Stop trying to destroy Leslie Gore. God. We never say anything inaccurate on this show. Certainly not. But this episode is the famous Mr. to destroy Leslie Gore. God. We never say anything inaccurate on this show. Certainly not. But this episode is the famous Mr. Burns Casino episode. I think it opens with the most Oakley and

Weinstein ass opening that you could ever write to this date. I love it so much. Look, it's Amos from Radio's Amos and Andy. Hello everybody! Springfield, city on the grow. It's a proud day as Springfield is declared one of America's 400 fastest growing cities. And why not?

Business is booming. Half the country wears Springfield galoshes. And say hello to the state's first aqua car factory. Keep them coming, boys. Love this so much. We'll see one of those aqua cars in the next episode, but a faulty one. That's right. The Ren and Stimpy Raymond Scott music.

Oh, yeah. Is that Workaday World or Gay Frolic? I have the soundtrack. It's great. I think it's Workaday World. But, I mean, do we need to explain Amos and Andy? The joke is that it was a radio show. Yes.

And the black characters were played by white men. And I believe there was... Two very sensitive portrayals of African Americans. Yes. And I didn't look this up, and I should have, but I know... I looked everything up, Bob. There was a TV show, but I believe there were movies in which the characters were in black faces.

Yes, once they brought them to screen, the characters became black. But they were created by two white guys doing impressions of black men in Atlanta. And on the TV show, it was, they hired black actors to play them who were, you know, they were in the difficult scenario of, I could either just not have work or be famous, or I could demean my race. It was protested by the NAACP immediately when it became a TV series.

Guess what? As with many depictions such as these, it's public domain. You want to see it? It's free. It's out there. Hey, you can remake it if you think you've got a good take on it. Well, I mean, there was the famous movie Amos and Andrew with Nick Cage and Sam Jackson. Was that even related?

Did they just like the names? No, but yeah, everybody let the copyright slide on it. So I think only a couple episodes of the television show would you have to talk to a lawyer before using it. I love that joke of this secret. Back then they were like, oh, shouldn't you be proud?

You're on Amos and Andy. It's one of the most dated jokes that didn't come out of the mouth of Mr. Burns. Because like, the guy looks shocked that he's on camera because doesn't want people to know he's white. Yeah, it's all great. The whole news on parade by Corporation News.

Yes. They confused the Lumiere train pulling into station myth with television instead of film, which, guess what, never happened. No one ever freaked out when they saw the film of a train. That did not happen. And also, I think the News on Parade is a very direct reference to the opening of Citizen Kane.

Oh, of course. So this is technically a Citizen Kane reference. I do have the clip here if you want to listen. News on the march. News on the march. I did it perfect. And it's just like it's the Simpsons. It still counts as the Simpsons episode opening up with television.

And I think Citizen Kane, even back then, they were making fun of newsreels. Like, these people talking away, no human talks. They're really loud and screaming. The cost no man can say! Yes, I actually fell down a rabbit hole of research on this. I was just starting to watch the episode. I was like,

oh, News on Parade, that's a reference to News on the March, which I guess was just in lots of stuff, right? I was like, no, it was only they made that up for sissy k news on the march and then i read from the film journal like a seriously 4 000 word essay well not essay but article about how it was making fun of editing of newsreels back then and how they can't actually tell a story and how it is made to be bad or or surface level just to prove a point later in the movie of how how the news can't capture one man's life in four minutes beautiful but i think you can just stick that in as another citizen kane reference yes on the simpsons i have one final thing this reminded me a lot of my own crappy hometown

youngstown ohio if you don't know what it looks like, find a Fallout 3 screenshot it's not even as pretty as Fallout 4, I'm serious see hell or high water yes, that too nothing but bank loans as far as the eye can see later in life, and heroin later in life I would watch these old newsreel videos about my awful blighted hometown

and it's like, Youngstown, a city of industry and it's exactly like this you're going nowhere but up, Youngstown a city of industry and it's just like exactly like this you're going nowhere but up Youngstown look out Utica I'm sorry we're talking too much but I think we're all fascinated by these industrial kind of films back when every city well just because we're not a port doesn't mean

we can't be a metropolitan the go get em attitude about industry and capitalism it's even in this clip look out Utica it's more of, Utica. Springfield. It's more of a Utica expression. I think that must be an Oakley thing since he's so proud of the steamed hams thing.

And Utica is a major plot point of the steamed ham sketch. They did write the episode, right? Oakley and Weinstein, yes. This is one of the five they wrote this season. They wrote five. John Schwarzwalder wrote five. And then the other 12 were handled by the other folks. But that's a huge amount for one team to do. I also looked this up.

Professor Rubbermouth has five pool balls in his mouth. Thought it was eight. And the record is three right now, apparently. That's it? You will break all your teeth if you put pool balls in your mouth. You won't fit more than three. Those are real big real big i mean that comes from a real stock photo or whatever i couldn't find the original picture i didn't know what to google disappointing i put more balls in my mouth before 8 a.m and most people do all day though i balls i always what

do you think i mean i always thought of this scene because then a year no two years later in round springfield one of the lawyers who helps bart in his case against crusty it's like it was a parody of alan dershowitz except he also had three pool balls in his mouth like this is very weird this is very odd to joke that's not a critic joke but that was done by the critic team it was yeah two episodes were done by the critic team it was the critic oh so no it's just one year from now the critic crossover episode and round springfield the blood and guts murphy episode we should really move on yes i did i did want to like this the intro is set in like the 40s and i just love the the one word of young jasper oh yeah you don't i don't think you hear it any other place in the simpsons the way people act around here you think the streets were paved with gold they are young jasper so i have i have two sign jokes that kind of fly by

they're not great it's it's the vinegar parlor i think the james brooks marquee is yeah pretty good oh well heinrich's monocle shot but yeah after they pass a porno theater playing sperms of endearment and i'll do anyone both james l brooks movies they meet a james l brooks bum that's right street it was the james l brooks from who bum who was last seen in brother can i spare two dimes who made the mickey mouse massage parlors and i i felt that was intentional they could have met any bum asking for money and then it was them like one of those weird the one of the weird like right side of the aisle Simpsons jokes about entitlement society. I guess it's in a way also making fun of the older generation who thinks, when I was my age, I had to work for everything.

And then they close the door and go, I want free money. It's similar to no Obamacare, but don't take away my Medicaid. It's just a weird argument to make. In my day, the things I liked were the most important. It's similar to, like, no Obamacare, but don't take away my Medicaid. Like, it's just, like, a weird argument to make. In my day, the things I liked were the most important. It's true. It's true. The only things were good then. Then Homer finds something in the toilet.

That's right. And it's probably the earliest line of the show we're ever going to have. That's the joke. Hey, there's something you don't see in a toilet every day anybody lose their glasses last chance the sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side that's a right triangle you idiot don't i love the quick camera rip just to a guy's legs who knows everything about the the angle of him looking in the toilet

is so good but also disgusting because you're imagining what Homer is seeing roll back and listen to that clip the audio gets distorted because the camera's underwater that's right we know what quote is Homer referencing I have the clip

oh you surprised me therefore by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Universitatis Committiatum e Pluribus Unum, I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of T.H.D.

T.H.D.? That's Doctor of Thinkology. Some of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side. Oh, joy! Ratchet! I've got a brain! Scarecrow!

So the toilet man is right. The scarecrow fucked up. Yes. That is not the Pythagorean theorem for a right triangle. Also, knowing the Pythagorean theorem, that's like eighth grade algebra. It's not like the smartest thing a man could ever say. Didn't pass it. No idea. Well, I think in Wizard of Oz, it is a children's

movie, so they're trying to say something that is relatively smart that children would know. It was weird. I didn't get that immediately, but watching this episode and doing some research, I found that it was a Wizard of Oz reference. And I remembered Scarecrow saying that, and it diminished the joke for a second. Until I found out that it was... They're making fun And I remembered Scarecrow saying that. And it diminished the joke for a second.

Until I found out that it was... They're making fun of... The Scarecrow got it wrong. Yeah, and then no one corrects him. That one guy's been waiting his whole life to correct the Scarecrow. Somebody finally said it, yeah. Someone came into my bathroom and quoted the Scarecrow. The Wizard of Oz is much more entertaining.

And it's a good movie. But just thinking that Judy Garland is probably on speed for most of the movie really helps. She's like dying. Yeah, it's like we're going to shoot you up with speed and then shoot on speed for most of the movie really helps. She's like dying. Yeah, it's like we're going to shoot you up with speed and then shoot you full of tranquilizers and go to bed. Three hours of sleep. See you tomorrow, Judy. You've got to learn to dance. Do the Jitterbug.

Also, you have to marry Mickey Rooney. I'm sorry. It's in your contract. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Speaking of blackface, don't look that up. But speaking of shameful past, they have another appearance by Henry Kissinger. That is nuts.

The amount of people in this episode who are dead. Oh, it's proof that... Kissinger's not dead. And none of them are Henry Kissinger. I can't believe it. It's really proof that evil is never punished. And I mean, if you look at him now, he looks like a boomer from Left 4 Dead. He's just like...

There's just a sunken... A head sunken into a giant beach ball of a body but he's he's done so much evil in this world i don't know it must be just pure spite just pure bile keeping him alive like just look up henry kissinger war criminal you'll get your some answers but that he was he was a secretary of state and that people have made like i see people make fun of the fact that liberals have said oh oh, can you believe Trump posed with this person? That's terrible. And then they say, here's Hillary Clinton with Henry Kissinger.

Here's Stephen Colbert with Henry Kissinger. It's like, it's fun. It's Henry Kissinger. Like, no. It's like meeting Cesar Romero in Joker makeup. The Paris Peace Accord thing he thinks of in his head was what won him a Nobel Prize for ending the Vietnam War. But this was something that was just recently proven by declassified documents. Nixon, who was a member of Lyndon Johnson's administration,

purposefully delayed what could have been the end of the Vietnam War because it would have hurt Nixon's ability to beat Hubert H. Humphrey. And so he literally had a war continue that killed millions to let Nixon win an election. What a great guy. Well, there you go. Thanks a lot, Henry. The one skid mark in the Nixon administration.

I had to go and dig it up. So he's still kicking a 93, but will the Talking Simpsons curse strike again? Oh, God. I guess we'll find out. The Gordie Howe Memorial curse? This one is about four weeks early, so it could happen. Watch out, Henry.

We're coming for you. And I think it is Burns would be friends with Kissinger. He would be the type of dude who's friends with him. But I like that even they're just fed up with him. Just like, hmm. I mean, that's supposed to be. What's funny about it is that Kissinger is so evil he's meeting with burns yeah and burns is still more evil well yeah and oakley and weinstein are huge nixon fans they know they know how evil uh henry kissinger

is but do your research guys look it up henry kissinger war criminal it takes kind of a weird turn of just like saying oh there's a now. And it's just introducing that Springfield is going through a recession, which was going on like a recession started in the Bush administration after the booming 80s. Then it's just a time marker on it. You can't totally blame H.W. for it. But a recession began in his administration. And then when Clinton took over, things did improve some a lot because of the tech bubble. But I'm no economist to explain it. They do age up Mr burns a bit uh he says he's lived through 12 recessions eight panics and five years

of mckinleynomics mckinley was president from 1897 to 1901 meaning uh mr burns is much older than we saw him in rosebud he's up to his 104 year old face time now let's hear that whole thing i guess sir bad news from accounting the economy's hit us pretty hard. Tough times, eh? I've lived through 12 recessions, 8 panics, and 5 years of McKinleynomics. I'll survive this. Even so, sir, we could stand to lay off a few employees. Oh, very well.

Lay off him, him, him, him. Better keep the egghead. He just might come in handy. This is part of a secret running joke in the show of Burns seeing Homer doing something on a screen and not interpreting it right and then selecting him for something. Or choosing him to do something.

And I also think that's how layoffs work in a company. It's like, oh, you gotta lose people? Meh, there, did it. Dartboard time. And then we get a nice Kent Brockman. Kent Brockman in a lot of these episodes works great is like i will frame the story of this episode that gets lost later on but i'm loving

this that kent brockman has a point of view and can't keep from putting it on the air merkin merkin's era of brockman is the best use of brockman he's not like he's not just a haircut on tv and even in the oakley wein. He's barely masking his contempt for the audience he's speaking to. He's got a real agenda. Yes. He really does. It's in revelation. Scott, things aren't as happy as they used to be down here at the unemployment office.

Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors. Useful people are starting to feel the pinch. I haven't been able to find a job in six years. Huh. And what training do you have five years of modern dance six years of tap the economic slump began last spring when the government closed fort springfield devastating the city's liquor and prostitution industries now at the risk of being unpopular this reporter places the blame for all of this squarely on you the viewers i love that there should be a follow-up to that joke.

And because we're thorough, there's a prostitute outside Fort Simpson with a sign that says Fort Bragg. So if you'd like to do the research of Fort Bragg and prostitution, there's a headline as recently as two months ago. There's a headline from last year.

There's a headline from the year before that. There's a headline about a young soldier, a male soldier being forced into prostitution by someone who wasn't even at Fort Bragg, who didn't, wasn't stationed. It's crazy! Fort Bragg is littered with prostitution. I just wanted to see if the Simpsons was calling out a current or famous

scandal. I think just like sex work naturally pops up around army bases for obvious reasons. I think that might be the case. It's just the market, it's just capitalism of well speaking of dark things you can find out this is a slight tangent but like bob alerted me to this that somebody so on the bart's inner child episode bob mentions a infomercial guy oh don lapree don lapree was who was identified you asked the listeners to identify him they immediately did yeah thank you guys and then bob was like told me what happened to him and then i

went to his wiki page i was like holy shit this is the darkest ending ever for this guy he's no longer with us doug lapre and don lapre don lapre right i mean should we say what is i mean like uh he was arrested for uh any kind of fraud you could name, any kind of embezzlement you could name. He killed himself with a razor to his throat while in police custody and covered it up with sheets so he could bleed out and die. I mean, sorry if that disgusted you, but I was not expecting to learn that was the end of Don LaPree,

the guy who would tell me to buy 1-900 numbers in 1993. Wow. So, yeah. There aren't happy endings to every story. Way to take the coward's way out, Don. You know, where I lived in Jacksonville, that was, it was a fear every once in a while. I'd be like, what if they move the military base somewhere else?

Like, it was, so many families lived there because of that, but it was also just a center of commerce there, too. Like, Jacksonville is like a one horse. It's a fake big city. Like, oh, we're a big city. We don't want big city problems, though. That doesn't seem. Well, it's also like the Baptist Church's own big chunks of the city, so they won't let cool things be there.

Like, a gay bar, perhaps, has be like on the other wrong side of the tracks we don't want your fancy internet exactly the only time they ever lightened any of their like horrible rules or tried to act like a big city was when they spent all this money on getting the super bowl to come there and so for like one week we're like oh this is like a real city where you can like walk around drinking and there's cabs everywhere and yeah there's celebrities this is interesting my my dad's sister married into a family that gave us access to a beach house or two because they're all chris antista well because the antista millionaires we don't come from wealth it said that they were all air force people next to the panama city air force base within like they have a major airport with nothing around it for miles at all,

but they have beachfront property because there's nothing else there but the military base, and they're the only people who bought it in the 50s. It would cost nothing. Yeah, it was nothing then. Then they have a town meeting

to decide how they're going to fix this thing. I propose that I use what's left of the town treasury to move to a more prosperous town and run for mayor. And a one selected I will send for the rest of you. My favorite era is just inconsolably angry Springfield towns. I love it. Yeah, I mean, Merkin really amps up the mob violence in his seasons for sure. Yeah, I mean, we're coming pretty soon after the mob in Bart's Inner Child.

And now he's got another mob. Though this whole sequence is a sequel to the monorail. It really feels like it. It happens at the exact same point in the episode, too. Near the end of Act 1, they're having another town meeting to be like, how do we save this crappy town? But it has to be because it's making a joke about something that had to happen previously.

Yeah, though Lisa offering up her piggy bank, by the way, I think was something out of character for her. It was too innocent and dumb. Lisa wouldn't be the one to do it, but they needed someone innocent to do it, so Bart couldn't do it. It could have been like Ralph or something

for like, one of the like, Janie who knows, one of the lesser known Simpsons children. but they needed someone innocent to do it so Bart couldn't do it. It could have been like Ralph or something. One of the lesser known Simpsons children. Give Janie a chance at saying a funny joke. She doesn't get much. Where's Wendell? Is he okay? There's a very off-model Apu right behind. Oh yeah, I did notice that. If you look at the townspeople, there's actually a moment where everybody turns around

and their heads are full exorcist. They do a 180 turn. But I love this scene. Now, I hesitate to bring this up, but a number of cities have rejuvenated their economies with legalized gambling. There is an added

bonus. Some of the revenue can go to help our underfunded public schools. Well, I like the part about the gambling. What do you think, Reverend? Once something has been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral. I love that so much. By building a casino, I could tighten my stranglehold on this dismal town. Yay!

Yay! I do love just how the crowd turns on a dime. We see that in the next episode with Ned proposing he be the leader of the neighborhood watch. He's right. And then like, someone else. Why not that? They just change on a dime. It's one of two great Barney Burt moments in this episode.

I think that Skinner, it's weird that Skinner's the one to bring it up. I don't think that. Somebody had to. But I mean, he did talk about the schools. Yeah, so it gives his angle. But it feels like a very normal, it felt like a very thing that somebody who is not used to public speaking would do. Like, a number of cities. Like, just the way he says cities.

It always stuck with me. I mean, we did see Skinner's interest in gambling in the lottery episode. He was like, one eraser. Yeah. You know what I did in NOM? And then like, that's the way. I serve this war. And the line of the government approving something is no longer immoral.

That is a great, that is one of those great Simpsons. It's not relevant right now. It's not. Well, I do think that's one of those great Simpsons line that is, it could work no matter what your politics are because yeah there are definitely people who are on the opposite end of a political spectrum from me that would say the same thing about government laws that would mean something is not immoral anymore because it is legal but it works for us too this was like the 17th meta moment in a row they've had in episodes of just like well everybody knows marge is no fun so she's

gonna say something the show is aware of marge as the naysayer as he's sticking the mud as we saw in bart's inner child as we're watching it a lot she hasn't done it that much she's it has it's happened like two or three times well marge on the lamb and bart's inner child will both in opposition of the idea of marge is no fun i wonder if they just had it at their writers retreat like it's it's scratchy Marge and maybe Monorail? Yeah, but even then she is making a calm note of, no, we shouldn't do, like, please spend money on the mainstream. I do like thinking this is a direct reference to just Monorail.

Yeah. Because even back then, maybe that episode was so famous. Yeah, it was pretty popular. And I do like how she goes against type here. She's like, no, I like the idea. Yeah, no, I think it's a good idea. But then it sets up the entire time Homer chooses to believe she was against the casino. And it's so weird.

It's such a weird choice. It is. It's another one of those moments of like, if Homer wasn't so stupid, you'd think he's just like being very mean and gaslighting Marge. Just like, no, I remember correctly. Agree with me. Yeah, it's hard to tell if it's stupid or just like being very mean and gaslighting Marge. Just like, no, I remember correctly. Agree with me. Yeah, it's hard to tell if it's stupid or just him being cruel. You have to. Homer is literally cruel at the end of this episode.

At the very end. Kind of shocked me after having not seen this one for a while. Like, wow, Homer went pretty far. You ever have a friend, a colleague, or a loved one who never makes a mistake? And just like, wait, did that just really happen? Did you make a mistake? Did you notice when they celebrate the slush funds that people throw their hats in the air

there's actually like a very distracting pair of false teeth I guess those are apes and Burns gets to build the casino and I just want to play this clip real fast because it's a personal detail that still makes me laugh one of my best friends doesn't like any kind of animation or cartoons. For some reason, we were watching this episode

and he references this every time he's doing a general impression of any British person. When the guy does the Britannia casino pitch. Not the most fair to British women, I'll say. Sure, the designers are here with some prototypes for your casino. Gentlemen, I give you Britannia! Gambling with all the glitz and glamour of the British Isles! And best of all, the waitresses and showgirls are all real Brits!

Fresh from the straits of Sussex, they are! Freshen your drink, Governor! Get out! It's like just a monstrous drawing of that woman. She is pale, unattractive, and has horrible... She's in the middle of a thriller pop-up. I feel like they were trying to draw from James Bond films of the 60s where they want to indicate, like, look at this sexy British lady,

and now you look at it like, I wonder if that's what they're drawing from. I don't know. My only observation is I got The prisoner on Blu-ray. It's like every one of these women has a giant mustache. Like every single one. They didn't know their mustaches were visible, Chris. They didn't know about HD. This is crazy.

I mean, that's the same thing they're pulling from in Austin Powers. Everybody thought Michael Caine was just handsome back then. They didn't think he had ugly teeth. He was in 320P. Or just, you know, nobody had seen other attractive people. 13 inch black and white television? Exactly. Mike loved him.

And the hippie acting is so great that just that moment, like, oh man. Birds can't take one second. I love that he's automatically disdainful to hippies. Whoa, whoa, yeah. I love that he's automatically disdainful to the hippies. I'd always remembered that Irishman scene in some other Burns recollection, but him just remembering crippling the Irishman to such joy. Cutting to him laughing between all these different moments in his day. What was I laughing at again?

Ah, yes, that crippled Irishman. The whoopin' legs won't keep me. That's one of like 8 million mean. They are the meanest to the Irish of any group on the show, I'd say, which just struck me because I read this article online that was by the Irish Times or, let's just say, a newspaper in Ireland that was like celebrating the Simpsons hit 600 episodes. Let's celebrate all the times they talk about Ireland. And then it was just like,

it was almost like, it was like the Irish version of the end of bamboozled of the video of shame of just like, look out at you. He's Irish. Homer saying, look at me. I'm the prime minister of Ireland. I'd like to think it shows the stupidity

of racism because it's it's too quaint to think of a time where like I hate those Italians oh I mean they make fun of Italians

plenty yeah my grandfather's from that era he gets like legit he would get legit mad well I would say in at least our current American society

you can transcend race if you're white yeah exactly once you officially become white become American if you can give away your culture I'm just like that's not my culture in the lard of the dance episode which is going to come up here in a few years um nelson's about to throw a ball

of grease and he says here comes a big grease ball as as luigi walks he's like i'll make you kids a pizza oh i called this a pizza for you so there you go Italians, you get it too. The Simpsons will be right back. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs.

Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care? Thank you guys so much for listening. And if you like listening and stuff, it's a good thing this episode is brought to you by audible. And before I tell you more about it,

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You like Lasertime shows? Then you might like Bonus Time, Laser Time's weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash lasertime. Here's a taste of what you've been missing. The day the show came out, well, Dave didn't volunteer his time for his country. No, no. Brett and I went to work at the food bank with Chuck. They can't have their own damn vegetables.

Yeah, last week with Grim and Charlie, I went to a food bank and packed frozen corn into bags for three hours. You did, and then they're like, who do you think all this food goes to? Of course, I don't fucking answer, because I know he's setting me up for a wrong answer. You guys should have been able to tell in this week's Laser Time. But actually, 15% of our food goes to the homeless.

I'm like, what? All right, please fill us in on where it goes. The rest goes to people who have too many homes. Not enough corn to put in all those homes. It was sort of eye-opening. It goes to, because I forgot about Meals on Wheels, the kind of thing like get food to people who can't leave their homes. And then do you know anybody in the city who works, pays their rent,

pays their bills, and has zero money left for food? That's also who we deliver food to, which heartened me. Classic freeloading. Wait, can I get on that? But morning, I may have sneezed in your corn. Okay. Yeah, if you want one bag of frozen corn. Oh, cool.

Get bonus time, Laser Time's weekly full-length, uncensored, and ad-free Patreon-exclusive podcast, as well as weekly full-length movie commentaries, wrestling and cartoon video commentaries, physical rewards, the first season of Talking Simpson, and more at patreon.com slash lasertime, starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live, and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. Laser! to help you never be bored again. So then Burns just gives up. Burns just gives up.

He's like, he can just make it his casino. It's a great joke. Yeah. And he's a snappy name, Mr. Burns Casino. I love, and Sex Appeal, which is burns as a mermaid which i even it's not even called burns casino it is called mr burns casino it sounds like a daycare

and i do love gambling by the way like this like i didn't i didn't think i would love gambling when i first loved this episode but now i do i don mean, I... You don't do real gambling. Okay. Now, hey, look, I did get into roulette recently. Oh, really? Yes, but if you want me to play a game where I have to keep track of cards

or all these rules, I'm like, I don't want to learn these rules. I have to... I want to be told I win or told I don't win. I have to relearn craps every time I go, which is like once every two or three years, and when you're in Puerto Rico

and don't speak the language very well, they just kick you out of the room, which that's the last time I played. But I don't like gambling. I'm terrified of gambling. So I read a bunch of books when I had to go to a bachelor party in Vegas because that was the most money I'd ever spent in my life just to get there. I didn't want to lose my shit like I was just totally afraid of.

So I read a bunch of books on poker, did okay. But craps is that type of game. It seems so complicated. There's all this lingo. It is really complicated, and you can lose your shit, but I'm such a conservative gambler that, like, here's my buy-in. If I double it, I cash out, buy back in, and it's like nothing ever happened. That is smart.

And Craps is the only way you can really do that because someone keeps rolling. It's the only game that's that cliche of, like, ride and everybody's everybody's rooting for you because if you keep doing well everybody wins or if someone else keeps doing well you win too it's it's the most teamwork thing to me it's the only thing i'll do in vegas now poker is so boring and takes so long but i can't win at it blackjack just goes so goes so fast of like, oh, I already lost $10. I already lost it. And I feel this episode is somewhat dated. I mean, obviously, it's 23 years old.

It's dated. But I feel like now you can just gamble at any time using any device. You don't need to go to a casino to gamble. Not true. Really? Not true. I have money lost into dissolved online poker accounts. I see.

Because they were proliferated. The government cracked down. Some people found loopholes. They cracked down again. It's kind of actually pretty hard. So now it's falling apart. I just remember going back to my shitty hometown and seeing, like, oh, there are all these now pop-up internet casinos, basically.

Like, what are those? I don't want to go in them. California deemed poker a game of skill and not a game of chance. So you can now gamble on poker in limited portions of California. If you want to meet a bunch of divorced dads. Or the most chain-smoking Asians you've ever met in your entire life. I think there's even a whole... There are even whole casinos in places like Vegas that are just like, this casino is made primarily for people visiting from Asia.

It's for Asian tourists and you're welcome to come in, but this is for – but I got into – Dirty business. I got into roulette because somebody last year finally taught me. Like I was on a business trip with a co-worker jeremy cool dude and uh but he's way cooler than me and he he worked on the sharknado films believe it or not yes he's a nice guy but so he worked he even at comic-con he was like hey casper van deen's at this party i i can introduce you to him i was like awesome great i love casper yeah the only time i've seen him in person he

just he literally yelled starship troopers line like that is all i want from you that is exactly what he did to me too and i think that's all he does that's all he should do yeah it's all just be that but kill them all when i when i introduced him at the start of the interview i was like i'm here with johnny rico himself and he's like ed Soldier or something like that. Captain, official Mr. 1997. Castor Van Diem. I love in that movie that they cast bad actors intentionally. They're just like the worst. The enemy can't engage you if you disable his hand.

I'm Mr. Crap. But I'm so far off from my story. Jeremy taught me how to do roulette, and so that's how I got really into it. But other than that. Learn how to play craps. You'll lose money the slowest. I just don't gamble at all. Well, that's how i got really into it but before other than that learn how to play craps you'll lose money the slowest i just don't gamble at all well that's how i learned dude you gotta get you gotta gamble for the free drinks you can save a shitload of money they'll keep bringing you free drinks and you'll lose money the slowest if you're playing careful on craps

there's plenty of guides online i am super into the slot machines they are they are video games now they just are video games that yeah you sit down in like sit down They are video games now. They just are video games. You sit down in it. You sit down. They're enclosed ones now. You're playing to see... Solo Nickelodeons that are guaranteed to be rigged. Why bother?

And you're playing to see the fun bonus game where you feel like you're on a game show. Especially when they're based on Batman 66. You just lost at the Jeff Foxworthy slot machine.

I only play the Big Bang Theory slots. I got five Sheldons. I got five Sheldons. I had the one of like, it's the Beverly Hillbillies. It looks like we had Texas Tea. Ooh, three cold case files. You won. Or the saddest ones are when they can get the real people,

and it's Dan Aykroyd in your ear saying like, hey, fellow Ghostbuster betting more will get you more wins. A great scientific theory. You should order some more of that vodka. Puerto Rico the enormous Batman 66 station. I love that machine so much. And they absolutely got Burt Ward and Adam West

to do the voices. I mean, why wouldn't they? That was the first time I imitated Dan Aykroyd and I'm proud of myself. You guys just steamrolled me. Sorry. It's okay. But Homer gets a job. His lifelong dream, one of his many lifelong dreams. The return of the lifelong dream running joke. I love it. I got a job at Burns' Casino.

As you know, it's been my lifelong dream to become a blackjack dealer. Your lifelong dream was to be a contestant on the gong show, and you did it in 1977, remember? We got more gongs than the breakdancing robot that caught on fire. I'm not playing the death jingle, but that guy just died.

Chuck Berris, right. We were wiping sweat off our brows when Chuck Berris died right before we recorded this. Like, oh, we didn't kill him. It's not our fault this time. But yeah, I mean, they show a clip of the gong show. And before we explain who that is, what that is, rather,

we see three kind of poorly caricatured celebrities where I was watching this episode. One of them is Paul Williams, almost positively. Yeah. He looks like his Planet of the Apes character. Oh, okay. To such a drastic degree. He does look like a monkey man. But the guy in the middle has to be Chuck Beres, but it's not a great Chuck Beres caricature.

It looks more like, oh God, I forget his name, David Brenner. He looks a lot like David Brenner. I meanner i mean chuck bears his nose was not that big and the woman on the right it could be like three different women but uh people are saying it's loretta switz uh or lindsey wagner who uh with hot lips from ash and the bionic woman so never seen the gong show it was i've never The Gong Show. I saw a documentary on it. Because one, it's the most fascinating because Chuck Beres is fucking insane. It seems like a better American Idol, to be fair. A funnier one.

The celebrities who are on are kind of mainstays to that show and they're fucking hammered all the time. Because it was the 70s and they're chain-smoking. Yeah, they're making a ton of innuendos that technically shouldn't be on television. And Chuck Beres is barely a professional host and can barely get a word out so it's like the whole show is insane it's a talent show that you just strike a giant gong and people come out to intentionally be bad uh which is the best part of american idol i think

i would never waste my time in watching that show it is also the only game show that I know of with a feature film that is a fictional narrative. I mean, oh, Rockwell, yeah. No. What? There's the gong show of the movie starring Chuck Berris as the host of the gong show. It is the most insane metafilm. Because that's how fucking embedded Chuck Berris was. Yeah.

Look at the gong show movie. It's insane. I heard about this on the AV Club. I totally forgot it existed. But yeah, it is crazy. It's totally insane. Yeah. But there's a movie about, is there a movie about Chuck Barris as well Confessions of a Dangerous Mind directed by George

Clooney and what is that exactly it's a he I think Chuck Barris he said that he had been secretly a spy or he was working for FBI CIA while doing the gong show and not just a spy like uh like could you maybe invite this guy over dinner when you're done with the gong show? But like going over to Russia and infiltrating a fucking consulate. But people are just like, no, not really. But he wrote a book. It's based on his book. Yes. And Sam Rockwell is always awesome.

And he did the Sam Rockwell dance, which he's so good at. It was one of those first, not the first George Clooney film, but one of his earliest, I think, as a director. Snow the Good German. I think the movie's all on youtube but it's like i think if pat sajak wrote a movie about himself being the host of wheel of fortune but it's really weird and dire and and not as uh crazy on twitter but the gong show also wasn't exactly it was more like america's got talent or whatever because it's any talent show right or it's any talent it's not just singing like homer homer go look or whatever because it's any talent show or it's any talent. It's not just singing. Like Homer and Barney

are performing. It's beautiful. Chuck Bear's losing his mind like it's time for Gene Gene the Dancing Machine, which is referenced sometime later on The Simpsons as well. I'm also shocked that they could do a gong show cutaway without a reference to the unknown comic, the only

real thing I knew about the gong show. The guy who did stand up with a bag over his head. He will show up later. But Gene, Gene the Dancing Machine was just this thing that they would gong the shit out of intentionally bad acts, but Gene couldn't dance. And whenever he came on, Chuck lost his shit, the audience would lose their shit.

And it's just this fat grip from backstage who just dances around. It's fucking hilarious. So speaking of George Clooney, not really. Why do we talk that long about the gong show? Speaking of George Clooney, what about Jerry Cooney? Unrelated. They spell and pronounce their names differently. He's a very interesting case.

I looked up a lot about this because I am really into boxing, but just boxing history and also boxing is just kind of boring after 1997, I'd say. There's less fatalities, that's for sure. Well, it's also that all the things that happen outside the ring. A whole generation of the best fighters, most of them just got into MMA as opposed to boxing. You're right, yeah. Because boxing stopped being as big of a sport, especially because heavyweight boxing wasn't as exciting of a prize fight anymore. And Jerry Cooney was a very accomplished boxer, but he was also used as a tool in race baiting advertisements.

If you've seen the film The Great White Hype, it's a great film. It is a parody of the Jerry Cooney 1982 1982 fight against larry holmes who was a champion which was promoted by don king and shamelessly was done as like uh this is a white man versus a black man can a white man beat him and take back the the championship from him like it was so race-baiting for both sides of just like from don king as well no and it's all don king like he don king's a piece of crap like that guy's terrible he did murder someone but two people that we know of two people but so that jerry cooney he wasn't into that stuff though he had been he repudiated it afterwards but that he was just he was a heavy striker for a long time in

his career and that the joke of him being knocked out by one punch from auto which that shows you that he's a cool guy unless the simpsons just tricked him and said that wasn't going to be the joke it's basically one line in this episode if that wasn't if he didn't know that was the joke then they were being dicks but if he agreed to that a boxer saying like oh yeah you can have you can have one skinny guy just beat me with one punch that's funny it's funny like other boxers would have a little too much pride to allow that. I mean, is that a reference to, I wrote down he was knocked out in two rounds by George Foreman, which seems like not a whole lot of boxing action to be knocked out after.

His final match was the 1990 match against George Foreman with a very quick KO and a very interesting, like it's a very replayed KO because it's just like, ouch. This one's for invent help. Well, it's a good, so George Foreman was a late champion that he. It's really weird. He was a big time champion in the 70s, then found Jesus and Jesus told him he couldn't be a boxer anymore. So he just stopped boxing at the height of his career. It's that Don King movie where you're like, Muhammad Ali publicly mocked him and kicked the shit out of him.

And he kind of went away for a few years. And he had this weird latter-day period of like, you're almost 50. How are you still doing this? Well, the secret in boxing was said then that you lose your power last. You lose speed first and power second. So he was still one of the strongest punchers in the world. He had that dad strength. So he won the championship back, and he had just...

Cooney was not a bad person to match him up against, because he was also a big bruiser. So you just were going to supposedly have these two guys whopping each other, and instead he just gets smashed in one punch. It's the first instance of that stereotype. I don't know where it comes from, because I've never seen it in person, of the specific boxer as the Walmart greeter at a casino. Yes, yeah.

I don't know if that's a real thing, but it happens in film and television all the time. It is a thing at some Las Vegas casino. It's a famous greeter here. I mean, this joke doesn't work unless you understand that. Yes. Las Vegas is connected with boxing in a big way. Or at least it used to be.

Oh, no, it still is. I mean, fucking Balrog in Street Fighter 2. I know him as M. Bison because I'm a true weeb. But his stage is Vegas. His stage is Vegas. Yeah, no. Vegas is still home to big time boxing. When the biggest boxing matches happen, they happen

in Vegas. Absolutely. I have to gamble on it in the room. I'm channeling Sam Jackson from Great White. But there are no more major boxing matches to even have now pretty much floyd mayweather is the only like big name still left and even he isn't he's technically retired but he might be coming out of retirement to face connor mcgregor who is the top dude in ufc but it's not it'll be a boxing match not an mma match so guess what even a guy who's a very good striker in MMA rules is going to lose to the best

boxer of his generation so it's just an easy payday for both of them too much sports I'm falling asleep we do see that Homer is a bad bad blackjack dealer I don't know how he keeps his job I don't know if he's still working I love it and this is great allegedly the first appearance of

this person oh you're right Homer I want you to have my lucky hat. I wore it the day Kennedy was shot, and it always brings me good luck. Why, thanks, Senator. He's referred to as Senator, but that is the rich Texan, which is... His colors are a bit off.

They would be different later, but it is him. The whole blackjack table is shrouded with people you recognize, including... I'm noticing for the first time, that's Troy McClure. He's just standing there and doesn't say anything. I think it's all just supposed to be the high rollers went to Homer's table to get the most money. People who need it the least. And so, yeah, so they're there to make the biggest bets and win the most money off Homer being terrible.

Homer, the point of blackjack is to get to 21, and then he goes to like 2735 dealer bus. Like he goes over twice with two cards. This is a really – And he's happy when the other people win. Yeah. Everybody wins. And jumping ahead, this is a really weird joke.

Yeah. Very, very good. Before we leave Rich Texan, I think the reason they made him a senator is because it makes it a better JFK joke. That a senator, it almost implies, like, were you involved? Like, you are a Texan who celebrated his death. Like, are you part of this JFK? JFK conspiracies were very hot in 93.

But this seems so dated to me now. It really does. 21. Do that card counting thing again. Come on. Do it again. Definitely have to leave the table. No.

Please, please, please, please, please. Gotta watch what's up in there. Leave the table. Yeah. Leave the table. No. No. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. That's not the most progressive joke, I guess. Homer leaning into a severe autistic impression.

Yeah. And talking to Dan Caslameda. Which, by the way, the basis for Raymond, Rain Man, is dead as well. Oh, that's too bad. He has a great documentary on, fuck, I forget what it's called, but it's all about the guy, Dustin Hoffman-based Rain Man

for the movie Rain Man, which I hate unnecessarily because it's the 1988 film that beat Who Framed Roger Rabbit in everything. Those sponsors. Which is now the best movie of all time. We all know that. That's undisputable. Even if Rain Man didn't exist,

there would have been another prestige film for the Oscars. Rain Man made more money. Oh, I see. I thought you were just talking about an awards. It won everything, like over Roger Rabbit. Well, it was a very touching movie about... It's a neat movie. But it is about an autistic man that Tom Cruise shepherds.

I can't imagine you won't recognize Tom Cruise. Yeah. Tom Cruise caricature at the table. But that's... It's a quite extreme character. Doesn't look like Dustin Hoffman. And that was an impression everybody did. Yeah.

Which you can... Yeah, I mean, I guess... How far we've come. Strangely enough, Anim animaniacs there would be an entire character based on that impression and that meant that character could only be like definitely do this definitely god definitely do this well but they also got to sneak in mice and men jokes on him oh you're right it was he's all kinds of intellectually disabled people yes it's so much fun here kids these people are funny that I said it before and I say it again.

Parodies of films like that are how they get away with mocking disabilities. That's true. Which way did he go, George? Which way did he go? Die. Yeah, exactly. It's very hard to have a Moose-style character that says duh before every line. Well, when I think of Rain Man, now I think of the never-go-full full R scene from Tropic Thunder of just explaining it like why Rain Man worked and why everybody loved him is because some people could be like they don't feel pity for him. They're like, yeah, he has a magic power.

He can count cards. He's magic. But he's also like it's back when there was one type of autism and it was severe. And it was very closed off. So Dustin Hoffman is mostly quiet in the film, kind of mumbling to himself. And he said, all that, Wapner, I've got to watch Wapner. He was obsessed with People's Court and the movie. Again, I'm trying to help out people who are 10 years younger.

You're not going to know who Judge Wapner is. Yeah. And I think he just recently died, actually. He just died, yeah. Everybody but Henry Kissinger. Right. Yeah. And, yeah, when i see this rain man scene now i probably i think i did laugh when i first watched as a kid but now seeing it it it just makes me go like i wish they had kept that james bond scene like the james bond

scene mr bont yeah i maybe it was just i mean the thesis of the joke is that homer's as stupid as an autistic person yeah so that he will also smack his head like that and then it's very it's also kind of a mean joke it's very strange i'm telling you i'm the kind of guy who relishes shit that's not appropriate yes but it just it's just a bit too long i think very long i've had to cut the clip in half uh but it's just like you forget how long the simpsons have been around yeah this is something that would have been totally inappropriate like i don't know a family Guy would have done this joke now. They would. They still would.

I mean, they'd even do it. Is this mean? Yes. Is it funny? No. Let's do it. Why? Just say they do it because they're like, oh, is this a reference?

We'll do it. It's a reference. Now Peter's autistic. I'm sure that's like five episodes. There's an episode called P-Tarded. Oh, you're right. It's that episode. Very good.

Very good. P-Tarded. But let's move backwards a little bit to another thing that was unfortunately predictive of Gooter and Ernst. I mean, we all saw it coming, right? This is just like the crocodile hunter, no offense,

but you're in this position with these dangerous animals, something's going to happen. I repeated Norm MacDonald's joke and no one laughed on another podcast. He's like, 40 years old? Died too soon? That seems like a ripe old age for a crocodile hunter they're a fairly recent act i thought they dated back to like the 70s or 80s they came about in 1990 which is why every early mystery science theater has that line like where's sigfried

the best was conan o'brien invented a sig and Roy wipe, which when he wanted to transition a scene, Siegfried and Roy came together in the center, dick to butt, rubbed together, and said, Siegfried, Roy, Siegfried, Roy, and they transitioned scenes. I mean, were they gay with each other, or just two gay men? I didn't know.

So they... Is there a white tiger involved? Not anymore. A gay man can't be too far behind. So Siegfried and Roy... Let's hear this clip first. I'll give them names. It's my favorite clip.

Hey, tiger, wake up. Nothing is more funny to me than Siegfried and Roy going on their own safari to shoot their own life. Yes. They're doing it. Well, that's Guter and Ernst. Guter and Ernst. But one is a blonde, one is a brunette just like Zig Freedom Roy who for years had their own

magic show in Vegas they were two German performers they had the first CGI show based off of their tigers I'll get to that the timing is very unfortunate so Zig Freedom Roy they were a couple

they were both magicians and they were a couple when they started out. They actually, and I don't know the timeline exactly on it, but in their biography, they finally came out of the closet when everybody knew that. Yeah. I was shocked. I was shocked. But that they were in separate relationships eventually, but that they are, that there's

a lot of cheap gay jokes they're expensive including this episode of just like that was really having a party tonight yeah trying to seduce a hayseed yes but no the hayseed not it wasn't barney is but oh the hayseed right sorry so that so a tiger attacking them anybody could have predicted it would eventually happen because they use live animals in many of their still fucked up how it happened, though. So they're doing a live performance, and one of their white tigers, Montecore, attacked Roy. No, Monty. And cut him up and went straight for the jugular,

nearly killed him, and this is one great thing about Roy, but with what he could have thought were his dying breaths, he said, don't do anything to Montecore. He did not blame Montecore even a little bit. I did see that. And I was touched because it always bums me out. This may sound weird, but it's like if a cougar like eats a jogger's leg, they have to kill it.

It's like that animal is just doing its job. It's an animal. It wants to hunt things that are running away. Or like when an ape attacks someone at a zoo, it's like, well, you put him in a zoo. Yes, there's another HBO documentary of another polyamorous triumvirate of people who are also a tiger act and they talk about white tigers and the reality is where do you get white

tigers? Well, they're intentionally inbred. To make them white. To make them to get that recessive brain error and so a lot of them have brain problems but I've heard conflicting stories on that. Like the tiger didn't attack get that recessive right right and like it and and so a lot of them have brain problems but but

i have heard conflicting stories on that that like the tiger didn't attack him that roy tripped and the tiger went to because they've been pretty great with animal right stuff as far as i know that in the tiger went to grab him like he would a cub which was just happened to be at the base of the neck it's like oh you don't have a scruff, you're a German man. And you have a nine-inch incisor on both sides of your jaws. He nearly died. He was pierced through the fucking neck. That was their last official performance

that they had to shut down the show. In 2009, they came together one more time to do what would be their true final performance. They said, we won't let that be our last performance. And with Montecore, they did run final performance. He didn't get killed? No, he lived to die a natural death at 17 a few years later. I didn't know they lived that long.

By the way, a natural death for a white tiger is a plane crash. But what about Father of the Pride? So the injury could not have come at a worse time. Oh, tell me about it, man. Father of the Pride is one of the Pride. So the injury could not have come at a worse time. Oh, tell me about it, man. Because Father of the Pride is one of the stupidest things ever made and would have failed no matter what. What a waste of money. It was because Jeffrey Katzenberg was at a fucking Siegfried and Roy show. It just was like, hey, what happens with the lives of their animals when they're not around?

How Michael Eisner made the gummy bears. These are pretty good. Spend $80 million on a series now. with the lives of their animals. How Michael Eisner made the gummy bears. These are pretty good. And it was the most... Spent 80 million on a series now. So yeah, the DreamWorks people, with almost the level of budget they make the Shrek films, they make a Shrek-looking, so ugly,

CGI TV series about their animals. That are licensed from Siegfried and Roy's animals, officially. Two and a half million dollars an episode. about their animals. That are licensed from Siegfried and Roy's animals, officially. Yes, two and a half million dollars an episode. And the production was halted and almost canceled. And honestly, it was almost canceled because of Roy's injury. And somebody there should have been like,

look, let's just say we got to cancel because of Roy. Because this just sucks. Let's just get out of this now. It's weird. That and the UPN Game Over to bring you guys back to animation. There is not a primetime network CG show. That has not worked yet. We are doing a Retronauts

on that by the way. Are you? Yes. We in this room are gonna be doing that. I want to because it's so bad. It was just this feeling of we can do a CGIgi tv show i mean nobody gets how expensive they are it's on cartoon but it's on they have them on cartoon network john goodman in it charles heinz uh call reiner and apparently they made 15 episodes two were unaired and one was unfinished so who needs a finale this is a disaster no i mean they probably

yeah it was a failure from the moment but but also, like, how could you watch the show about the animals that hang out with Siegfried and Roy without thinking of, like, one of you almost killed him. I don't want to hear about your marital problems. It's just a pall that hangs over the whole thing. And, yeah, they also tried to make it more adult, even though, like, this is for children. I watched one episode, and it was about, like,

it was lions talking about having sex and marital issues, and just, like, this is for children. I watched one episode, and it was about, like, it was lions talking about having sex and marital issues, and just, like, this is not good. Don't do this. And Groening, definitely on the commentary, it's an uncomfortable moment when they're watching. Don't blame me. I voted for George W. Roar. They're recording the commentary in 2005,

so Roy's near death was recent, and so they're all just kind of uncomfortable when the tiger attack scene happens. And then Grading tells a story that Siegfried or Roy came up to him and said they were at some party and they said they wanted Father

of the Pride to be as good as the Simpsons. That's a high Barticleer, guys. I want my podcast to be as good as the Simpsons. I don't know. So back to the show, Bart is unhappy with the quality of the martinis at Mr. Burns' casino, so he opens his own. Wait a minute. Are you over 21?

Are you? I'm not authorized to answer that. By the way, your martinis suck. Oh, yeah? What are you going to do? Start your own casino in your treehouse And get all your little friends to come? I'd like to see that! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Hiya, welcome. Have a looky day. Well, he certainly showed me. I wish I could be as calm and dignified in defeat as the pimply-faced team. I think I've always wanted to do that to a human being. He certainly showed me. Chris Antista sure showed me. You actually make them come to where you're going

to show them it's that well it's funny that he just he showed up there just like come to our patreon yeah it's a great joke for people like me who are spurred on creatively by spite and feeling like people like you're doing everything to show somebody else so then when the idea of like you actually just take them to show them like, well, he sure showed me. It's even funnier because that is a squeaky voice team. That could be any character, but him having that expression. Bart winning the money illegally at the casino from a slot machine. The same thing happened to me, actually, though.

I was 17 at the time, but we were in Reno, Nevada. And so I just did this thing of like, I have quarters in my pocket. This is back. Babylon 5 t-shirt. I never watched Babylon 5. It was probably Spider-Man or MST3K. Let's say it was my beloved bite me t-shirt. Oh, sure.

What's the one like your baby or whatever? Fat guys can't wear the Tom Servo I'm huge one. You can't do it. This was back when the machines actually still took quarters they don't do that anymore in regular casinos it's all tokens all right or you just put in a dollar bill and then you get out or you get and it feeds out like a ticket of like put this ticket in your next machine get away from those things they're literally programmed to take money from you so i'm walking from machine to machine just like

playing a few quarters and then like i'll just walk away nobody will notice and then it was that nightmare it was a nightmare scenario of like i could win so much but then if i win too much i won't get to keep it because i'll be caught so i play this elvis machine hi hank and i win 200 on it to the point where I only get $180 before it runs out of quarters and the light goes on and it's like hey somebody come over someone help this child and so this woman comes over and she's just like

ah so you won something cool well guy's coming over soon he's going to put more money in here I was like ah you know what I'm good well I also didn't have one of those buckets like Marge has for all my quarters put more money in here. I was like, ah, you know what? I'm, I'm good. I'm kind of tired. Well, I also didn't have one of those buckets like Marge has for all my quarters. So,

uh, of course I was wearing khaki shorts with big pockets and they were finally useful for something. I'm just stuffing quarters into them. Just like, well, I'll just see you later. And I got away with it. They didn't catch me.

You overloaded your cards. I always want to say that i was terrified of gambling from the beginning in the first moment i set foot in a casino in las vegas an old woman is being walked at a casino in crying and her husband's rubbing her back like it'll be okay honey it'll be okay great i'm so glad we have these places i only go there for uh industry events i'm in the gaming industry and uh not the not the industry, but the video game industry. I need to write a guide how to exploit them for free drinks. Jeez.

Seriously. I really need to know. But whenever I go, it's just like I see people literally hours away from death. And I think, this is how you're spending the last moments of your life? We have a doctor. No inheritance. I have windowless hellhole. I have two friends, one of whom I won't say, but the listeners know, who we refer to

by a term coined in this episode. A slot jockey? No. Oh. The demon. Oh. But apparently we've got a ways to go. So Homer, the thing where Homer misremembers Marge saying it, that was extra funny

to me, but also frustrating because we were, we did something that we weren't home when the episode started, so we had set it to record. And we get in halfway through, and then when Homer says, no, I remember what happened at that meeting, I just remember driving me crazy like, I don't get this joke because I don't know what happened at the meeting. Marge's hair wasn't green and Homer wasn't muscular. I know, but it just made me mad to have none of that content. You know that the moment the episode ended, I was like, okay, stop, rewind. I'm watching the whole episode now. I have to see.

This is poised to be our longest episode ever. But we're done with the history lesson. Except for Burns, for some reason, deciding to go full Howard Hughes in the middle of this episode. Sir, you haven't slept since the casino opened five days ago. I've discovered the perfect business. People swarm in, empty their pockets, and scuttle off. Nothing can stop me now.

Except microscopic germs. But we won't let that happen, will we, Smithers? Uh, no, sir. Another great Oakley and Weinstein touch. Another old-timey piece of Hollywood history. The crazy downfall of Howard Hughes, who was suffering from, I would probably say OCD, before anyone knew what it was. OCD, how did I find out about this? I think he had other problems, too.

I was watching From Russia with Love. I'm like, who's this actor in this movie, this second James Bond film? I'm like, oh, this is an actor who died from cancer from howard hughes gang as con movie as did john wayne the conqueror so john technically howard hughes is responsible through like his what would you call it not tyrannical but like really insane wishes like to film on an irradiated nuclear site and then and then to truck that sand back to LA for authenticity's sake, irradiated sand. It's not the same dirt. It's fucking dirt!

He brought poison dirt in and killed every single one of his dogs. And killed his director. And after that, he didn't... This is part of the OCD thing. We barely made any movies before that. He was a filmmaker, but it took him forever to make films because he was such a perfectionist.

They don't even touch on him in The Aviator, but that's what I remember reading. It wasn't so much, I'm sure OCD played a part. It was more that I don't want to show my face in public anymore because I very publicly killed a lot of people. Well, I can tell you, I read an entire book about the downfall of Hughes, his mental issues. It's called Citizen Hughes, written by Michael Drozdan. I really recommend it. I mean, this author would eventually write the Bible code books, but don't hold that against him because

Citizen Hughes is really great. And it just talks about the steady decline in his mental faculties. He was obsessed with cleanliness. He was obsessed with germs and microbes and things, but he was living a disgusting, filthy life. He didn't bathe.

He just slept on top of paper towels on his bed. Piston jars. Piston jars. He was a filthy, decrepit man, but he was still, strangely enough, obsessed with cleanliness and germs. There's some Kurt Vonnegut rant about how germophobia is a form of unrestrained narcissism. Maybe. It's like, how dare this small thing get on my body? The only germs aren't everybody but you. And the reality is, hey,

look at me. I'm filthy. I'm Chris Santista. I can't get sick because I'm touching all y'all. Well, you know, the film The Aviator is an underrated Scorsese movie. I really like it. It's rated. I like it a lot. Is it 30 minutes too long? Yes. But is it 45 minutes too long? Yes.

But it ends the film at the best like at the happiest ending howard hughes is gonna get and you have to just go like just the leather 40 years of his 30 years of his life didn't happen but that he there's this great scene where he is he has to recover to go before congress he has to get presentable enough to go before congress and his uh girlfriend at the time is just like, you got to come in here and I got to shave you.

He's like, there's germs everywhere. And she's like, yes, but we try. And he's like, okay. Like he... I like that movie

has a moment where he crashes his plane on a golf course and like, you've gone insane, Howard. Hasn't Harrison Ford, he's on like a hat trick? Yeah. Crashing a plane or a helicopter somewhere. Such people can't stop crashing their

planes, really. It's a problem. You just can't take away their planes. They're like, hey, they're in this plane, they're gonna have it. I've conquered the land, I will conquer the sky. So, yeah, Burns' thing is extra extreme. He goes through about three different moments of Howard Hughes-yism. Kleenex boxes. Kleenex boxes, he references

jars of urine, and, of course, the Spruce Goose. Smithies, I've designed a new plane. I call it the Spruce Moose and it will carry 200 passengers from New York's

Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in 17 minutes. That's quite a nice model, sir. Model? This is after the Spruce Caboose, of course.

Oh, that's right. The Spruce Goose. Well, the Spruce Caboose was the restaurant that they went to. Oh, that was in March. The decapitated conductor. Was it a plane made out of wood? Yes, it was Hercules, not the Spruce Goose, as was pointed out in The Aviator,

that it must be killing Howard Hughes' ghost that everyone still calls it the Spruce Goose now because in the film when people like oh you build your dumb plane the spruce goose it'll never fly it's like it's a hercules it will fly it seems like a pejorative term that the media would come up with to describe it there was even a tailspin episode about the spruce goose yes and oh you better believe it kid it did happen both in real life and in the film that he did fly the spruce goose once barely but it was in the air and then it went back down but then after they did that like it can never fly again it is too heavy

but uh but that's why they have to end the aviator there because like see it flew once the hercules it did it like he was right yeah now to the plant we'll take the spruce moose. Hop in. Sir. I said hop in. I fucking love that moment. And I gotta play my, like, just Barney having his only heroic moment ever. Yeah. Right after Siegfried and Roy are luring a hayseed in to fuck him. Hey, maybe

that guy will enjoy it. He could have been into it. Maggie is almost eaten by one of their white tigers. By a pony, I thought. It's so weird that Barney is the one to save her. Marge, you've got to watch out. Your little boy Bart could have been eaten by that pony. Oh, my God, Barney, thank you. I would never have forgiven myself.

Now you stay put, young lady. Man, that's classic compulsive behavior. Wow, free beer! Buddy, those are my quarters. Hey, this guy's paying off. So along with his iconic belch, I think through this podcast we've discovered Barney's catchphrase is wow. Wow something. Wow.

Yeah. And I don't know why, I just read it recently while doing research that that is dan castellaneta's burp yes yeah i guess they captured it once in like 1991 and they used it forever out of his way to get the perfect one it is like the perfect burp and i was because you know i have a lot of i do a lot of podcasts i have a lot of stock sounds and i was like eventually i'll probably stumble upon the barney burp and just realizing no that's dan that was dan yeah he also did the Eudora Welty burp as well. No, that was Maurice

Lamarche, who can do the super extended burping, which is not really burping. I don't know what he does, but that is like the one talent he has that no one else can do. Sorry, I outnumbered you. One thing, though, this is an Oakley and Weinstein episode. They love season three. In season three, Homer Alone, Barney thinks Maggie

is Bart. It is a little Bart. Yeah, so they carried that over to this episode that's so good it's a great callback but i i think now we have omelets i think barney saving her is just because the person who saves her has to be the person who has the joke following that so it's barney's joke after that so but it's like barney has no glorious moments until Dan wrote him one. And then when they cut back to Bart's casino, there's some cute jokes there, but Milhouse getting mauled by the cats

is the same. It's so funny, but it's the same joke. I think it's intentionally. It's that happening on a small, like on a kid's skill, a rugrat style, like a kid kids doing adult things I think I remembered it differently because I remember

parts of his flesh and clothes flying off but you said the scene of Dolph Jimbo punching Bart it was like that but with cats and Milhouse he's on the ground and this cat is fucking beating him in the face the two cats are tearing him apart

it's just that shot of that one he's not stopping. To me, it's one of the funniest moments that I can't convey to you in clips. This one I can, and I'm sad that I have the reference for it. I don't want to hit a sore spot, but can we talk about herpes?

Herpes, herpes, boberpes, banana, fana, foferpes, herpes! Oh! Hey, that's bad on Gorbachev's head. Herpes, trust me! Oh! Hey, that's bad on Gorbachev's head. Herpes, trust me. Anybody here have herpes? Huh? Huh?

You people are the worst audience I've ever seen. Well, you're the worst comedian we've ever seen. Oh, great. Well, we'll just sit here silently for the next 90 minutes. Fine with us. That's based on, allegedly allegedly Bill Cosby's album. Really? For adults only.

Okay. He recorded one album in Vegas after midnight with the promise of dirty, dirty humor. And I listened to more than I was comfortable with. You really don't want a dirty Cosby. Trying to find... Well, I was trying to find something. Somebody's like, filthy. Where are you from? Philadelphia.

You mean filth-adelphia. And it's. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care.

Did I mention that we care? It's him talking about like, ah, there's a mirror above my bed. Why gonna break my neck if I try and look at it? And then you can literally hear him like, And, like, the audience goes insane. A lot of Dane Cook-style flailing. It was an album that flaunted,

This is Bill Cosby not doing clean humor, but I couldn't find anything you would consider dirty. Even, like, a 1996. It was, like like PG-12. He mentions sex. The only time I've heard him say a dirty word in something, I think it was in himself where he says about cocaine, like cocaine increases whoever you are.

He's like, but what if you're an asshole? It was a joke. But now it just feels weird to even think about cops. And Barney's former Yoko Ono girlfriend is in the audience. That was very weird. But I didn't know that. Because when I heard that clip, it reminded me of Michael Richards.

The comic actor who doesn't perform stand-up comedy, trying to do it and failing miserably. The secret of Michael Richards was he's not a comedian, but he wanted to make money as a comedian. So he's like, I'm a comedian. It's easy. Last time I said this, someone was like, don't defend Michael Richards. I'm like, I'm not trying to.

I just think he walked into the comedy store. It was a comedy store, yeah. And just saw people cursing and saying naughty words. I'm like, oh, I guess this is what I do now. And I don't understand context. Well, we have a whole episode that I did, or I hosted

of Lazer Time about celebrities recovering from a problem. Oh, How to Survive a Scandal. How to Survive a Scandal. That's an episode of Lazer Time. That or Comedians Destroying Hecklers. That's one of my favorites. But in that one, there's even a clip of Dave Chappelle saying, I actually just felt bad for Kramer.

He said, I'm 20% black, 80% comedian. How dare you? Don't let him get you down, Kramer. So Marge might have a problem. Yes, Marge has a game on. Okay, Marge, let's go. I'll catch up to you. Marge, I'm taking the car.

I'll walk. This late Marge, let's go. I'll catch up to you. Marge, I'm taking the car. I'll walk. This late through the bad neighborhood? Yeah. Marge. Go home, you're bad luck. Wait. I see what's happening here. You're just mad because everyone in this town loves gambling except for you.

Well, that's just sad. That was pretty stupid. Not really. This is one of Marge's few vices that would come up later in the show, I think. I like that they stuck with it. I do like that. And then meanwhile, when they're having to deal with life without Marge, I, as a bachelor, I've definitely had,

I haven't had a meal as disgusting as Homer's. I have occasionally had like, well, what do I make for dinner if I don't order pizza? I have these three things in my fridge. All right. Tom Collins mix, pie crust, and cloves. That time when my Homer moments had happened recently. Like, apparently, I don't know how to cook a microwave burrito with instructions. It didn't work.

I messed it up! Where are you? I would blame the microwave in that case. But then Homer it's weird that Homer found something even he wouldn't eat. It's so gross though. He just, he was happy kissing toxic waste in a few episodes.

Hot damn, sister. I gotta book a new act for tonight. Turns out that Liza Minnelli impersonator was really Liza Minnelli. Boo. There's nothing to eat for breakfast. You gotta improvise, Lisa. Cloves. Tom Carlin's mix. Frozen pie crust.

Maybe mom just doesn't realize we missed her. We could go down to the casino and let her know. Oh, come on, Lisa. There's no reason to... casino and let her know. Oh, come on, Lisa. There's no reason to. Let's go see mom. Great acting. It is good. I never liked that Lisa line, Rita.

There's nothing to eat for breakfast. It sounds like the beginning of a cereal commercial or something. That's true. Well, I guess it's, I heard that as Lisa saying, I'm really upset by this. Like, don't even think there's food for breakfast dad there's nothing and more than anybody else lisa has a specific need for marge really coming up and she's trying i think forecasting that to everyone yeah well and to the audience to just be like lisa's gonna be upset by this soon and that lies in the l.a joke look lies in the l.a was a punching bag in the early 90s she wasn't in a great place in 1993

Or for many of the years after 1993 She redeemed herself with the rest of development She really did So fucking funny And that was like while she was with David Guest Which is like a very sad era for One of like three gay men she married And abused

Exactly like Buster Bluth I mean look You look at that guy's face I'd punch him too Wow No Spousal abuse is wrong Yeah, it looked exactly like Buster Maloof. I mean, look. You look at that guy's face. I'd punch him, too, if I was wise. Wow. No, spousal abuse is wrong, and I condemn it. I have this, too.

Like, I am guilty of being a creature of impulse. So it's very hard for me to come down on anybody like, Hey! Hey! You've got a problem. Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino, and I think you may have a problem.

I won $60 last night. Woo-hoo! Problem solved! And that leads to another, like, murky F.U. scene to sitcom conventions where they pretend it is a full house ending of, see, we said there was a problem, and you admitted it, and you'll be here for Lisa, and it's over full house ending of, see, we said there was a problem and you admitted it. And you'll be here for Lisa and it's over.

And Homer even just says, just like on TV. But meanwhile, that hole in the wall where he shot his shotgun, it's just like, you killed someone. Or you would have. Like, why did Marge not die? That scene is so fucking funny, too. And then Homer, I feel like they didn't originally have the gun go off when Homer throws down his shotgun, but it's this great off-camera sound effect thing

of just that Homer throws down his shotgun, and it's just like a shotgun blast just went off in the room where all their children are. And we heard that in, sorry, in Rosebud with Barney's gun. It just goes off on screen and kills a woman, apparently. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

And it does it canonically set up in the next episode why Homer would have specifically a shotgun. True. A whole lot of guns. Because if you're listening from anywhere else, he's American.

It's our right. And then we've got another dead man. This is the real dead one. There you go. Ten years ago, man. Death stalks you at every turn. Ah! There it is. Death.

It's Goulet. But this. Bobby Goulet. I don't know how like if you listen to any of our other podcasts it's really hard not to get Simpsons shorthand in. It's it's own language. I know I did it recently talking about how my

I got the iPad Pro with some gift cards because I thought like it's the best right then i take it home put it in front of my face and like that's too big and no one was paying attention to me at all until i said that line yeah it's a simpsons reference uh bob and i do that all the time at work and one other co-worker gets it and we other times i feel like bob and i laugh and then the other person who are the other people who heard it are just silent and i have to say that's simpsons yeah i know how they know that by now it's like a crazy twin language that we speak you had the best one today of uh there is the

upcoming sequel to the naruto series called bo ruto and and then bob said oh, my son's name is also Berudo. And the one other guy at work, Jack, he laughed at me. He did crack up. I wasn't trying very hard. This line, I always know how to get a laugh out of Brett with this one from this. Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager. Your manager says for you to shut up.

Vera said that? And Vera was his wife while he was alive. Wow, really? Yeah, that was his wife. So, like, any time Brett has a curt response, I just... Vera said that? I do, like, this is a casino. How does he fit in that treehouse?

It's so strange. It's all beautiful. It's a bit of a cheat, but I like it. The Goulet is so into it too like he's just like I mean by this point Robert Goulet had appeared on multiple sitcoms

he's like yeah you cast me as a joke I'm a lounge listener I looked up his bio that is like all he did from here until his death

he was a guest star he got famous in the Broadway show Camelot and then he just was like and now I'm just a famous guy I'm famous Robert Goulet why try I'm just Goulet and I don't was like, and now I'm just a famous guy. I'm famous Robert Goulet.

Why try? I'm just Goulet. And I don't know. And that's great. I'm just funny. I had a Will Ferrell SNL DVD and they were cut sketches. Yes. Where he just does rap songs

with complete N words. Yes. As Goulet. Wow. And it is fucking hysterical. Yeah, it is very funny. There's a little pause when he says the N word of like,

did I say that? Are we going to do this? It sounded like he's bent extra syllables on it you know another bear can't handle this he is the original velvet fog i i love i love ghouli and we learn all about the mythical gambler who i mentioned in the intro oh hello florida i'm not a state i'm a monster no lisa the only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother i call him gambler and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws so as floridians at this point in your lives guys uh how did you feel about lisa's poorly made florida costume and just florida getting a name check in terms of florida

getting a name check cool florida was not the joke it was in 1993 yeah florida man twitter account yeah now now like i don't i mean the 2000 election that ruined florida it's a whole another laser time the florida episode yeah with mike Yeah, with Mike Drucker from Tonight Show. Yes, and soon to be that Bill Nye show on Netflix. Yeah, now it's just like, I don't know, probably every person does this when they feel kind of offended and like that joke wasn't specific or accurate enough. But The Office specifically mocks my hometown for the entirety of it.

In Pennsylvania, apparently. Its headquarters are in Tallahassee. And part of the sixth season is there. Isn't it so funny, the idea of even being in Tallahassee? It's just constantly mocked. Like, Kathy Bates is this hick who can't really do business in normal places because she's from Tallahassee. Well, 30 Rock tears apart Florida as well all the time.

Oh, yeah, rightly so. Dick Cheney going manatee hunting is one of my favorite jokes ever on 30 Rock. And just the idea of a strip club in Jacksonville, Florida, as they describe something. But when I saw this, I had no Floridian pride. I had been there. I had lived there for maybe a year at this point, and at that point I was probably thinking,

I don't like this as much as the places I lived when I was a younger kid. There's just no jokes at Florida's expense. There's nothing to be like, that wasn't true. Hey, you know what? I took two semesters

on Florida history. It is the orange juice capital. It has oranges on their license plate. California produces more edible oranges. Yep. Florida produces inedible oranges that are made

in a concentrated orange juice. Oh. That's what they do. Which just gets flavored anyway, so it's a meaning. I mean, I always got excited when Married with Children

would reference Youngstown, Ohio because that's where Ed O'Neill is from. Really? Yes. One episode ends with there has been an Elvis sighting in Youngstown, Ohio. I see.

So, let's go to Youngstown. No pig. They do a joke about the thawing of Jim Neighbors because Jim Neighbors would be seen as like, oh, he is a lower level lounge act than Goulet of just... Because he's a singer, like Jim Neighbors is a famous singer, but... Well, he's not a famous singer, but... I mean, gospel singer, right?

He's a gommer pile and a country, western gospel type singer with a lovely voice. I mean, oddly enough, he is a gay Gomer Pyle and a country, western, gospel-type singer with a lovely voice. I mean, oddly enough, he is a gay man, but he was famous for gospel music. Well, yeah, he was gay as the day is long, but he was also... And he's still alive. 86, yeah. Is he really? He wasn't even that old when this episode was made. He was like 60.

Holy shit. And that he and Ron Howard are the only living men from Andy Griffith's show. I never thought of it like that. So you're saying there's a woman who's still alive. It might be. This was just the fact I read.

I can't think off the top of my head what a woman would still be. There's a lot of younger women on Andy Griffith's show. One of Andy Griffith's girlfriends? Yeah, multiple girlfriends. It was like a Seinfeld. Andy Griffith's show

is not a bad show. No, it's good. I watched it multiple times. I don't know spit about statutory laws. And he actually got married to his husband of many year he got married to his partner many years in 2013 when it became legal in seattle washington which is where they got married gross you fucking you kiss all you want marriage that's disgusting the craziest especially with old people oh i don't want to think about it the cra but he

lives in hawaii and has like a nut farm yes but the the craziest fact i found out about him was that he would have died in the mid-2000s but he got a liver transplant that was set up by his personal friend carol burnett holy god she found him a liver transplant and so he is alive thanks to carol burnett i was going to do a carol burnett impression and realize it's like a combination of 18 different people who aren't carol burnett yes uh i dream of genie i winkle with go home from tracy olman i do not have a carol burnett well i was a big fan of gomer pile usmc as a kid i'm sure it doesn't hold up yeah i watched it a lot really the reruns yeah uh i like that homer at least tries like he does make uh in other episodes homer would have just been like

head too bad you can't get a costume i'm not doing it but homer at least trying to make a costume and injuring himself with needles everywhere trying to sew it it's nice it's a it's a moving scene because homer it wasn't that homer was procrastinating he just Marge would come and do this so he wouldn't have to. Yeah. And I think Ogilvy and Weinstein always want to make Homer more human, more of a real person, as crazy and stupid as he is. And Homer's too dependent on Marge and too dumb. But, like, I love the dissatisfaction in his voice when he confronts her. You broke a promise to your child.

What? You promised Lisa to help her with her costume. You made her cry. Then I cried. Then Maggie laughed. She's such a little trooper. Lisa's costume! Homer, I didn't realize.

I'm so sorry. Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem. You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help. No, no, that's too expensive. Just don't do it anymore. But before this, we get the immortal, you're gonna further read an hour.

And you said that exactly right. Yeah, I actually wrote down the transcription from the transcription from the subtitles in the DVD that's how thorough I am and they have a nice couple jokes that wrap up both Lisa and Bart's B stories like they just have the last scene with Goulet

and then the last Lisa just eats shit in this last scene it's not fair to Lisa I guess they're kind of treating like she's not crying anymore so maybe it's seen as a positive, like, and she won an award. But I'm Idaho is a great Ralph one-off non-sequitur. It's probably the best half-assed Halloween costume you can go for.

Oh, yeah. Long sleeve, blue button-up. Corduroy pants. Corduroy pants and a piece of paper that says Idaho taped to your chest. It's perfect. What was Wiggum doing? I don't know. He wasn't in this episode. I mean, he should have helped Ralph with his costume, obviously.

He probably did. Yeah, that's true. He is stupider than Homer, but the end Homer does rub it in a bit. But that is the joke. Yeah. We do hear about some of Homer's vices, too. For the first time in our marriage, I can finally look down my nose at you. You a gambling problem that's true will you forgive me oh sure remember when i got caught stealing all those watches from sears well that's nothing because you have a

gambling problem and remember when i let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like santa claus, you have a gambling problem. That's a Tales from the Crypt episode. When you forgive someone, you can't throw a bag at them like that. Aw, what a jip. Aw. And like in many Oakley and Weinstein episodes, especially in season seven and eight, it ends with a sunset. People walking off into a sunset.

I wanted to remark on that because, I mean, whatever. The Simpsons live up against a body of water if they have to but it's it's a it's a shade of springfield you don't see very often yeah yeah it's very pretty they get a lot out of gradients seeing gradients in the sky it's nice it's a nice effect by the animators and so they leave behind burns's casino but it's still there like burns does send homer back to the power plant where he'll go back to too but in other episodes they would have shut down the casino at the end they wouldn't have left it open as like no that casino is still there well that's why it's great when they bring it like oh yeah yeah it is a great joke at the expense of continuity when they do demolish burns's casino

and it's implode and that they even like, we totally forgot this thing still existed. And why did we move it when we moved the town 10 miles? Well, there's an interesting story. Shut up. To me, it's mainly notable when you unlock it in Simpsons Hit and Run. It's like one of the bigger areas you end up unlocking. Oh, fuck. There's this giant

like harbor simpsons vegas with this casino in the center it's yeah it's so cool all right i like that also too they have jokes about casinos that don't involve native americans like it was true and it would become a do they will do it seven years or so but it would it was just a 90 sitcom staple like we get to have our gambling jokes, and then we get cheap jokes that Native Americans do. How? I feel like Family Guy and Simpsons both did their Native American casino jokes at the same time.

And Duckman. And Duckman. It's like, that's crazy talk. No, that's my brother. Crazy talk. Nothing's funnier. That's not funny. I'm against it.

Nothing's funnier than bad Native American names. I mean, look, it's just hacky. It's not funny. I'm against it. Nothing's funnier than bad Native American names. I mean, look, it's just tacky. It's not, I mean, you can also be offended on the part of Native Americans, or if you are a native. I am rights with the source. But also, it's just bad writing. Like, it's just lame. Like, yeah, these were jokes on F Troop, like, before you were born.

They really are old jokes. Yeah, they're lame as hell. Yeah, so that was Talking Simpsons, possibly our longest episode ever. Inexplicably, I don't know how we went on

so long, but lots of talk about gambling problems. Big Chief comes too quick. Siegfried and Roy was about 15 minutes. That was.

This is basically a Siegfried and Roy podcast with some Simpsons involved. I don't know. I stumbled upon, like just researching this, I stumbled upon

a better description of the show, and I'm sorry to stick it at the end of the middle of the fifth season that it's an exploration of life pop culture history through the lens of the Simpsons like that's the most fun I have about this

like remembering an old event or like yeah where you were when it first premiere yeah or researching the thing that I didn't really ever know about like Gomer Pyle I don't know about except through the Simpsons shameful yeah it's just like it's knowing that every every show in 93 was making sigfried and roy jokes yes and thinking about

all the other sigfried and roy references you heard that were just kind of cheap gay jokes but whatever i mean they were the one they were one of the few people living out loud true true well and you know we could have just done it of like that's a green roy joke i think he did get really attacked by a tiger. The end, and just move on. That's the Talking Simpsons difference, people. We will talk in excruciating detail about the most non-interesting things you've ever heard in your life.

It is, and I'll personally fight any other Simpsons show the nerdist starts, or your wolf. Don't do it. Chris Hardwick, you better watch your mouth, buddy. So this has been Talking Simpsons. I have been your host, Bob Mackie. You can find me on Twitter as Bob Servo i also write for fandom go to fandom.com to read my video game and anime things oh my god i'm writing about anime i'm almost 35 years old and my other podcast is

retronauts go to retronauts.com every monday for a brand new episode of search for retronauts in your podcast device we are a classic gaming podcast every week giving you a brand new topic. If you're new to the show, just find a topic you're interested in and listen and I guarantee you will like the show. If you like this show, the Celebrity Games one that went up semi-recently. Oh, Celebrity Games is a great episode. It barely has anything to do with games and more is about

mocking this period of pop culture history. Lots of talk about Michael Jackson, lots of talk about Dennis Miller, Gallagher, Bill Lambeer, mentioned on a podcast for the first time ever. Will never happen again. Even on Basketball Podcast, no one talks about him. Please listen to our pronouns.

I'm H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on Twitter, and you can also find my work at fandom.com like Bob's, and I also would like to say please, if you haven't reviewed this on iTunes, give it five stars. It's always nice to see new reviews on there. Please, please do that.

And also, this is brought to you by Patreon.com slash LazerTime. Patreon is what pays the bills around these parts. It's what helps pay for the LazerTime studio we're chatting it up in. And it is the reason Talking simpsons exists we started this podcast because we got enough support on there and the entire first season is exclusively on there if you're wondering why the first episodes of the simpsons aren't in your podcast feed along with these seasons two three and four wrap-ups 15 episodes three season wrap-ups exclusive to patrons thank thanks everybody for your support and thanks both of you for

helping make that happen. I like you. The last plug I have is, later in time we mentioned How to Survive a Scandal. That was a great episode of how people, life after the thing they're set,

most celebrities are, these celebrities are most notable for now. Yes. And then Comedian Shutting Down Hecklers was personally really fun for me because I love just unbridled nastiness. There's so many great clips in it. Yeah, yeah. yeah yeah unfiltered rage it's a topic-based show where we pick we pick a topic we do a ton of research and we usually get a ton of sound clips for you uh did

recently a show on entire show the power rangers worst rap songs uh legend time podcast is great i love it is it fun yeah i miss some stuff uh but hey we can always do a follow-up sequel um son of worst rap songs uh but uh 30 2010 it's it we have to restrain ourself from talking about the simpsons because there's a really strong season happening but it's where we look back 30 years ago 20 years ago and 10 years ago back to that specific week and we're in the sevens 87 97 by the things that are 10 years old this year now yeah It's no fun. It's fucking crazy because the one I just did the art for recording a little bit ahead was the first

episode of the Tracy Ullman show. No Simpsons yet. In 97 you're in season 8 like the Hank Scorpio, the John Waters 7. No, you're right. That's 8. In 07, look I love Grindhouse. I like that episode. People hate Grindhouse. I didn't know that. That's eight. Yeah, and then in 07, look, I love Grindhouse. I like that episode.

So fuck everybody. People hate Grindhouse. I didn't know that. Look, it's really long, man. I loved my time with Grindhouse, but even I was like, boy, if Death Proof could just start now. I really like this. The best thing about the entire program. I love Don't.

Don't was my favorite. Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Well, you can find all that, including this show and Vigigame Apocalypse and a bunch of other articles and videos that we do, including a lot of dumb Simpsons streams, at LasertimePodcast.com. I'm done.

Awesome. That's LasertimePodcast.com. Thank you so much for listening. We'll be back next week with Homer the Vigilante. We'll see you then. Wow. Infotainment.