Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Saturdays Of Thunder

Episode Date: May 18, 2016

Homer tries to improve his fatherhood quotient via soapbox derby racers, plus we talk all about how this aired alongside Michael Jackson’s world premiere Black Or White music video…...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Ahoy, ahoy everybody and welcome to Talking Simpsons where the host is essentially Ballas, that's me. This is Laser Time's chronological exploration of the Simpsons and today's episode is all about Saturdays of Thunder. I'm your host Bob Mackie, who else is here today? I'm Henry and quote the Raven, what a shine. And? Chris, find a way, Antista.
Starting point is 00:00:30 I love that. And again, today's episode is Saturdays of Thunder. It aired on November 14th, 1991. Chris, what happened on this mythical day in history? You threw me off with that quote, by the way. Find a way. I'm still laughing, too. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:00:45 David Duke failed his bid to be Louisiana governor. Magic Johnson joins President Bush's commission on AIDS and Michael Jackson's album Dangerous debuts with black or white music video. And boy, was he dangerous. Am I right, guys? He's a couple kids. That would sadly not be the last we'd hear of David Duke, by the way. It really did set back the Klan party at least two years.
Starting point is 00:01:09 But yeah, Dangerous debuted. This was Michael Jackson's entry into the 90s, the album Dangerous, led off by Black or White. And it was also famous for being a big hit before 91, but it was also used as the example of the changing in kids taste because the story was that at christmas of this year every parent bought dangerous for their kids and on new year's day they all returned it to the record store and bought nirvana's nevermind and that was the big change in the landscape of music that was the start of the grunge age but black or white was a huge huge deal it was they were trying to make it the next thriller that was the start of the grunge age. But Black or White was a huge, huge deal.
Starting point is 00:01:46 They were trying to make it the next thriller. It was going to be the next music video event. Is it not? I mean, I guess it was the next thriller. It replayed all the time. Time stopped when these videos came out. It's true. They were events.
Starting point is 00:01:57 They weren't just MTV. They would air simultaneously on networks at the exact same time. This was the big deal. It was on MTV, VH1, BET, cable networks that always show it, but Fox was the first time that a network was going to air a Michael Jackson video,
Starting point is 00:02:13 premiere it at the same time as every other channel. Were you guys all here for this? I watched it live. Only with the internet was I ever able to see it again, as I originally saw it Because I wasn't taping it
Starting point is 00:02:26 And it aired with The Simpsons As we already talked about in the season 3 premiere Michael Jackson loved The Simpsons Bart especially Wink And so of course it was going to air right after The Simpsons And that's something on this episode The DVD version
Starting point is 00:02:43 Is different than the one I engraved in my memory from watching VHS because I taped this episode the premiere night and so they had to cut about like two minutes of stuff to because the Michael Jackson was going to run long the video is like 11 minutes he turns into a jaguar and has a fight but first yes but first Dave and I just watched this. I had not seen this video in maybe 15 years, and it is really just a naive and goofy tour of different ethnicities in the Street Fighter 2 style.
Starting point is 00:03:12 It's just like, let's find the most obvious stereotypes from each nation and visit them. But the morphing technology. The morphing is great, but I think it's funny how it was a Street Fighter tour, but then there's a Street Fighter bonus level at the end in which Michael Jackson beats up a car. First off, so that before the video...
Starting point is 00:03:29 Is that an In Living Color? It is an In Living Color original. Well, so when it was about to premiere on Fox, Bart made sure to tell kids to not change the channel and watch what was going to happen. Now the moment you've been waiting for.
Starting point is 00:03:46 Don't touch that guy. He's bad. He's cool. He's dangerous. He's the king of pop music. My main man, Michael Jackson. This is crazy. This is so lost in time.
Starting point is 00:03:56 And it's just rock and roll voice over the Bartman video. Because briefly in the Bartman video when he says, just like Michael Jackson, he has the curl drop down. And so they just rock and rolled the voice and just had him bounce back and forth and be like yeah watch michael jackson michael jackson next like and that sounds like shit because it only exists because somebody taped it on slp mode uh 25 years ago yeah i do have to wonder though in this video i wonder how the black performer felt about them putting his rap into macaulay culkin's mouth uh that felt kind of awkward to me. I'm not going to spend my life being a cullen.
Starting point is 00:04:27 And so I also have a very vivid memory of this because so they play it. The second half of it is very controversial, like because it's kind of just a Bob Fosse routine about how much he hates racism because it is silence. There's no music. It is just the sound of his dancing, fever dancing, grabbing his crotch many, many times. I remember even on MTV, for the first week they might have shown that part. It was never
Starting point is 00:04:54 shown again because that serves no purpose. Well, it's more than just the crotch grab, though. He lingers on his crotch. His hand doesn't leave it for seconds at a time. He's rubbing. He's feeling his chest at the same time. And then after doing that, then he goes up to a car that has racist stuff written on it, like N-word go home, except it doesn't say N-word.
Starting point is 00:05:12 It says... What does it say, Henry? And there's also a window that says... No good mix. There's also a window that says KKK rules. And he smashes down... They were notorious for that in New Yorkork back in the day so everywhere but it made everybody uncomfortable and i have a very clear memory of this my brother had tonsillectomy
Starting point is 00:05:32 that same day and we went to go pick him up from the from the hospital and uh on the radio i remember the atlanta djs were joking around about how many times he grabs his crotch in that video and saying that he obviously needs jock itch cream. I bet there was a clown horn or a cowbell or something. Oh, oh. Thank you, thank you. I do remember, like, parents... Wow, Bob Mackie.
Starting point is 00:05:58 I am here, Chris. I do remember parents groups saying, like, he touched his crotch 34 times in two minutes. Dear Lord. I've done it more in this recording. But it's weird how sexualized and angry he made himself. It really wasn't the Michael Jackson you saw most of the time. I think it did confuse people. I feel like he was trying to reinvent himself as a more masculine performer.
Starting point is 00:06:19 That and his lavender marriage, I guess you would call it, to Lisa Marie Presley. He was not a gay man, but he was not also a heterosexual man, I'm guessing. I did listen to this album a lot, unironically, when it came out, and there's a sketch before this song. Turn it down, kids. Shut up, Dad. I'm trying to listen.
Starting point is 00:06:37 That's the best part. The video is George Wendt from Cheers and Macaulay Culkin, and then Bart Simpson starts dancing, and I could never recreate that again. And so because that outro, so whenever they replayed Black or White, when he would transform into the panther
Starting point is 00:06:53 and then walk away, it would always end right there when he morphs into the panther. That deprived people of seeing the other Simpsons cameo in the video because the video ends with Bart in this. Bart, turn up that noise! Chill out, homeboy.
Starting point is 00:07:13 And Homer turns off the TV. The animation there is so fluid. Bart's wearing a Michael Jackson shirt in a very Beavis and Butthead style. It looks like Butterfinger BB's animation or whatever. It is Butterfinger- level animation for the simpsons and and that means something but yeah they spent the money on having an outro they're like oh then bart turns bart is dancing to it he's so excited he's like i love this music but that also is
Starting point is 00:07:36 awkward that they had to cut back to the black or black or white guitar hook because he wouldn't be doing that after watching michael jackson destroy all that stuff he would just be uncomfortable like what did i just watch you should just cut the bart smashing apart the living room yeah with like a crowbar but anyway so yeah this episode will always be connected to black or white in my mind even though the episode has nothing to do with michael jackson i do have to say this episode is written by ken levine and David Isaacs who we've talked about before. They wrote Dance and Homer. Topes Lose. Yeah, Topes Lose. And I feel this
Starting point is 00:08:10 episode is a much softer episode. I always think it's in season two when I think about it because it's not as cutting, not as accelerated as season three was getting. Has anybody ever seen a Soapbox Derby? No. It is part of that how The Simpsons is a living anachronism.
Starting point is 00:08:26 Like Bart has a slingshot and stuff. It is very like here's Americana but in the 90s. I remember when I was leaving my adolescence being disappointed that
Starting point is 00:08:32 no one ever brought up a soapbox derby. The funny thing is apparently only three kids in Springfield ever soapbox raced. That is Bart, Martin, and Nelson.
Starting point is 00:08:40 I don't think I noticed that before. There were only three people in every race. It's true. But it opens with the triumphant return of Phil Hartman. I can't believe they invented it. And Troy McClure.
Starting point is 00:08:49 I'm actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from such TV series as Buck Henderson, Union Buster, and Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory. But I'm here to tell you about Spiffy, the 21st century stain remover. Let's meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera. Thank you, Troy. Hi, everybody. Hi, Dr. Nick.
Starting point is 00:09:09 Troy, I brought with me the gravestone of author and troubled soul, Edgar Allan Poe. One of our best writers. That's there for the cheap seats, I think. I'll tell you who he is. Again, but I do want to say Spiffy is not a funny product name, and that's because every joke name they pitched Was a real product So they just went with Spiffy
Starting point is 00:09:28 It's a funny story I do love how Nick Riviera says Spiffy What a good name Quoth the Raven What a shine That's one clean tombstone I love the way Homer reaches for the phone and is so excited he can't dial.
Starting point is 00:09:47 He needs his dialing wand. He needs his dialing wand. That is my line of the show, quote the Raven, let it shine. Well, I'll throw in the jingle just because this makes me laugh way too hard. That's the joke. Maybe because some of my favorite Simpsons jokes occur from a character off screen. But, Troy, how can I make it
Starting point is 00:10:09 lower than $39.95? Find a way! I do like that. That's after the audience is threatening Nick with physical violence. And I should say that this is when infomercials were new. We saw parodies of them on everything. And this is one of the first parodies of an infomercial
Starting point is 00:10:26 that we would see. I know one of my favorite shows is Mr. Show and a lot of people who missed the first season were introduced to it because HBO ran ad nauseum. Fantastic newness. Fantastic newness. A infomercial parody. I loved when at the end David Cross put his head
Starting point is 00:10:42 in a bag to say when it was airing because when they were filming it they bag to say when it was airing because when they were filming it, they didn't know when it was filming. The Talkin' Mr. Show, someday soon. This is, oh, it's 32 episodes. It'll be great. We'd be done already. Homer's watching TV.
Starting point is 00:10:58 It's a great intro. A very fast intro compared to the episodes before and after it. Because someone is using Homer's power tools. Who's using the power tools? I don't know. Some guy I guess. Well, we're going to the beauty parlor. Maybe I should do something
Starting point is 00:11:13 with the kids while I'm gone. Oh, sure. Great idea. I'd love to. Oh, did you hear that? Yes. How much? Everything. What's the quickest, cheapest, easiest way to do something with you? Uh, take us to the video store anything for my little girl this almost looks you want to be a father an excuse to go to a video store that did give me warm fuzzies of just remembering like the trip to the video store yay i mean i don't need friends and parties at 17 i just want to go to
Starting point is 00:11:41 the video store with my parents the video store was the 90s parenting solution where it's like, we'll go to the video store Friday, we'll run our own things, and we won't talk to each other. And that's how we'll get along. We'll pick up pizza on the way home. We'll make fucking pop quiz popcorn. What will pop up next? The popcorn's gonna be orange! It's gonna be great!
Starting point is 00:12:00 Could have been the line of the show. Farts! You can't weld with such a little flame! Stupid kid. I was reading that some of the line of the show. Bart! You can't weld with such a little flame. Stupid kid. I was reading that some of their the controversy with the censors
Starting point is 00:12:10 on this episode involved Bart welding. Yeah, they said that they didn't like it was an imitatable act they said and their defense was no kids got access
Starting point is 00:12:18 to a welding thing. Yeah, and then as a kid in shop class I was taught how to use a welder. I don't fucking remember how to do that shit at all. It was an argument over whether Bart should have his face mask up or down,
Starting point is 00:12:30 which he had it up, which is in hindsight a joke that I don't even know if you can get on network television at all now. It's damaging Bart's eyes. He should technically have giant floaters in his eyes forever now. Later they would do a joke about the same tool, except Homer would be smoking a cigar while using it. I feel like that's the more objectionable part. now the later they would do a joke about they would do a joke about the same tool except homer would be smoking a cigar while using it i feel like that's the more objectionable part now they could not show homer smoking a cigar and this the whole video sequence is only there to just give us
Starting point is 00:12:55 a wonderful mcbain reference yeah you keep eating them hotlings you're never gonna make it to a pension come on live a little scoey oh thank, thank you. Got me a future, partner. I'm two days away from retirement. My daughter's graduating from college. Little Susie's going up. And as soon as we nail Mendoza, my old lady and I are going to sail around the world like we always wanted.
Starting point is 00:13:16 We just christened a boat. To live forever. Yeah. This is still a joke I see in things. You got one day to retirement? It's a Lethal Weapon joke But it's also a Clint Eastwood Or Dirty Harry joke
Starting point is 00:13:30 His partners always die Sudden impact it's based on And Lethal Weapon 2 But it's a cliche in everything Or Lethal Weapon 2 colon diplomatic immunity Lethal Weapon comma T-O-O I mean his The character seems more like the Donald Glover character.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Like, too old for this shit. Donald Glover. Him. Danny Glover character. But this one, okay, Mendoza. Yo, if you have, I got to work with a guy
Starting point is 00:13:54 for six years named Mendoza. Oh, I did for nine months and I never did it and I was biting my tongue. I never did it either. I'm not gonna make it. Oh, stop talking crazy. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:14:03 Just do one thing for me. Get Mendoza. Mendoza! Harry Shearer, dude. Harry Shearer. Harry Shearer. When he gave a shit, I'm a broken record about Harry Shearer,
Starting point is 00:14:23 but just hearing him, it's just amazing. So much energy. His performance in these small parts, and we were just talking, I don't know if we've mentioned on the show a billion times, I'm pretty sure we have, that the current showrunners don't like to use Burns because Shearer isn't dependable enough. He sounds like this. I mean, and he literally phones it in.
Starting point is 00:14:39 He does it over the phone. Burns sounds way too old. That's my only criticism. One of my few criticisms. But anyway, yeah, I think that's my favorite ever McBain scene. It looks beautiful as well. Because that line that you miss, because there's a guy bleeding on the floor from 18 bullet shot wounds.
Starting point is 00:14:56 It's like, I'm not going to make it. Stop talking crazy. I love that, yeah. And then we eventually see McBain go to Mendoza's party, Crash's party. As revenge. But I just, God, as a former Blockbuster employee, which I feel they were, that was specifically what they were referencing in this, employees could never put on a film that violent. They would not be allowed to.
Starting point is 00:15:17 We worked at Sunco, so we were never allowed to put on anything rated R. In fact, I had to let the manager borrow money. And his piece with me he made is like, you want to put on a Mystery Science Theater episode? Which I had begged to do for literally years, and it was not considered appropriate enough. This Midwestern Cowtown puppet show with movies from the 50s. Basic cable show from the 90s. It's funny you mention MSD3K, because as a fan, I liked hearing on this commentary, Mike Reese really loved that they did
Starting point is 00:15:46 a Mendoza reference on MST3K. Really? Yeah. That's wonderful. He was very proud of that. This is where the whole episode kicks in. Your memories will tell you it's the Soapbox Racer episode, but it's more the Homer trying to be a better father episode. That's the A story.
Starting point is 00:16:02 One of many. Homer, could you turn off the TV? There's a little test I want you to take. Oh, great. You made me miss Joe Teisman. This is from the National Fatherhood Institute. It evaluates your knowledge of your son and rates you as a father. Oh, Mars.
Starting point is 00:16:19 Question one. Name one of your child's friends. Uh, let's see. Bart's friend. Uh, well, there's the fat kid with the thing. Uh, the little wiener who's always got his hands in his pocket. They want a name, Homer, not a vague description. Okay. Hank? Hank? Hank who?
Starting point is 00:16:35 Hank Jones. Homer, you made that up. Question two. Who was your son's hero? Steve McQueen. That's your hero. Name another dad you talked to about parenting. Next. What are your son's hero steve mcqueen that's your hero name another dad you talked to about parenting next what are your son's hobbies well he's always chewing on that phone cord he hasn't done that since he was two then he has no hobbies oh really well maybe you should go out to the garage and see
Starting point is 00:16:56 then he has no this is indulgent of me that's fine that what are we doing chris we're talking about the simpsons he's in the video store And what section of the video Sort of somergravity Sports bloopers So like That was a huge thing around this time It was Like even on kid shows
Starting point is 00:17:12 And I remember Begging my father For a Sports Illustrated subscription Because it was the only way You could see Let me see if they say the title of it Because I've never forgot it If you ask me
Starting point is 00:17:22 What's your favorite sports blooper video I would say this. Here it comes, the slammin' jammin' rip-flurrin' good time video. The NBA's dazzling dunks and basketball bloopers. It's all new,
Starting point is 00:17:33 fun and excitement, and the only way to get it is free with your paid subscription to Sports Illustrated. These were two-minute commercials that aired all the time. I still never got my football phone. The football phone was, this is an escal never got my football phone. The football phone was
Starting point is 00:17:45 an escalation to the football phone. Before that, they were 45 minute, hour long VHSs of sports highlights. Then they just moved over to blooper angles. I think people begged for those commercials to be run during breaks. Just run full two minute spot for
Starting point is 00:18:01 sports bloopers. No one will change the channel. Before YouTube existed, you needed videos just of bloopers. That's why you don't see on our other show, 302010, I constantly skip over another episode of TV's bloopers and practical jokes because the audience doesn't exist for that anymore. They just go to YouTube to watch the outtakes reel from a DVD. But you don't get those Sergio Aragonones cartoons that come and clean the screen up. Very few prescient things on these podcasts.
Starting point is 00:18:31 But one of the things I said recently on another podcast was that, like, what happened to DVD special features? And, like, that's what we do now. Yeah. Like, we don't need to wait for DVDs. So they don't bother putting production behind interviewing those people because they know people like us will break down an episode and maybe contact that person. We'll make those people. And we'll make them unofficially and free and they'll be better anyway.
Starting point is 00:18:52 But on every Marvel film, what's the one feature they still have on Blu-ray? Gagreel. Every time, Gagreel. They have a Gagreel because it's the one thing they officially have that no one else can do. But also, do you nerds know the Joe
Starting point is 00:19:07 Theismann story? I know it because they referenced it on King of the Hill a few times. Joe Theismann's birdie leg. Yeah, he was one of the most popular football players of the 80s and live on Monday Night Football, he
Starting point is 00:19:21 got sacked the wrong way and Lawrence Taylor broke his leg, like landed. His knee landed on his leg the wrong way, and it is one of the most gruesome things the world, like America, was exposed to live on television. And it made Lawrence Taylor like an infamous star. And one of the things that really got people pissed then was because he was freaked out, and he was calling for help.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Like, he's really hurt. Get help right here. But without sound and from a distance, viewers thought he was like, I fucking broke his leg. Yeah. And so he became one of the most hated men in football. Like, that's why LT is one of the NFL players who's actually... Well, that's why Lawrence Taylor is one of the few football players in the Any Given Sunday because he's not friends. He's the dirty guy anyway.
Starting point is 00:20:11 NFL doesn't like him. This is one of my favorite lines ever. Homer going outside to discover Bart does, in fact, have a hobby, and he's a failure as a father. Bart! Bart! What? You don't have any hobbies, do you, boy?
Starting point is 00:20:24 No, not really. Well, that's what I... Wait a minute. What are you doing? Building a soapbox derby racer. That's a hobby. Hey, so it is. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:20:34 I don't know jack about my boy. I'm a bad father. You're also fat. I'm also fat. There's a lot of Patty and Selma in these ones we're doing, and it's great. I love that. They're brand new Mary Tyler Moore haircuts.
Starting point is 00:20:52 So let's talk about that real quick. First off, when they talk about the Henry Winkler quote, I always think of that every time. I've heard many interviews people say, Henry Winkler is the greatest guy, the sweetest man in the world, we all love him. I always think back to that quote of like,, yeah, he does sound like a cool guy. I mean, in that quote about he's always had happy days with his kids.
Starting point is 00:21:13 But then secondly, so the Mary Tyler Moore stuff. Ken Levine and the other writer, Isaac. David Isaacs. David Isaacs. They reveal in the commentary they worked on a TV a tv show with mary tyler moore and they did not like that they said that the people who went to vietnam were the lucky ones in terms of working with her sorry i didn't mean to step on your no no and so later in the episode where barney gets maced by her uh and says are you mary tyler moore gets maced. My friend and I have a bet. Are you Mary Tyler Moore?
Starting point is 00:21:50 Wow, it really is you. That means that's them saying she is a total asshole who would mace you in the face. No, dude, I had that for later because I love when Barney gets maced in burps. I think it's happened more than once. Yeah, this happened in the War of the Simpsons. Was it Patty or Selma? Was it the same sister? I don't know. I think it was the same one. That joke doesn't work unless Mary Tyler Moore
Starting point is 00:22:11 sucks. And I don't know. I don't know either. I do know that she has had alcohol issues, alcohol addiction. I believe she is openly... I know she was into the 90s. I love flirting with disaster. Yeah, but I think she's that could be part of the reason.
Starting point is 00:22:28 I don't know. Reportedly she's a jerk at the end. These two guys hated her. They got the ultimate burn. The show people will still be watching in 30 years. The Simpsons will be right back. How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero Hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels, and much more.
Starting point is 00:23:17 Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier, and your world brighter. Find our Net Zero Hub at electricireland.ie. You like Lazer Time shows? Then you might like Bonus Time, LaserTime's weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash lasertime. Here's a taste of what you've been missing. You want to go through games journalism days of yore. Heidi, she's like, but I found all these other
Starting point is 00:23:38 jump drives from you, and these are all from like our era in the games press that I've been slowly throwing out. 512 megabytes. We've made bigger podcasts. I wonder what... I'm going to stick it in and see what's on. In a preview for Jumper Griffin's story.
Starting point is 00:23:59 What the fuck? Can you read a sentence from that? Taking interviewing of the Banff Happy Jumper trailer, you might be bracing yourself for seeing another game movie tie-in starring Hayden Christensen and Samuel L. Jackson. Hey, that's not a bad line. They've been in a lot of movie tie-in games together. But you'd be wrong, young Padawan.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Central in the film, though they are, Jumper's Griffin story allows Jamie Bell's character, the immensely irritating Jimmy from King Kong. That was a reference i thought everyone would get unfolding a different plot that intersects the events of the film because it was an interquel or that is way too good for a jumper griffin story preview get bonus time laser times weekly full-length uncensored and ad-free patreon exclusive podcasts as well as weekly full-length movie commentaries ad-free patreon exclusive podcasts as well as weekly full-length
Starting point is 00:24:45 movie commentaries wrestling and cartoon video commentaries physical rewards the first season of talking simpson and more at patreon.com slash laser time starting at just five bucks you'll help us live and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again But Homer has to call the bad father hotline. This is the National Fatherhood Institute. Dave speaking. I'm Homer Simpson. I just took your test. I got a zero.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Good Lord, a zero. Lana, cancel my one o'clock. Mr. Simpson, we'll send a wood panel station wagon over for you immediately. It's such a cute joke. That is beautiful. And it really does show up in just the reaction of them taking him away like, Bye, son. They're finally taking your dad away.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Maybe it's for the best. And Harry Shearer is doing an impression of Mason Adams. I thought it was a Casey Kasem impression, but it actually is Mason Adams. I cannot place his voice. Common and number one and then comes in another of the many like distracting now references to bill cosby just yeah all right for starters mr simpson why don't you take this complimentary copy of fatherhood by bill cosby if he's as smart as he is funny i'm sold i mean the joke is this is a schmaltzy book full of awful platitudes
Starting point is 00:26:04 awful feel-good platitudes. It's not even written by Bill Cosby, by the way. It's ghostwritten by Ralph Schoenstein, who works for All Things Considered, if you're wondering the quality of the humor. I'm sorry. I hate All Things Considered. As I say, if you're saying that to my mom, she'd say, oh, so it's hilarious. It's not as bad as Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. It's her favorite show.
Starting point is 00:26:24 My mom listens to this. It's made for 60-year-old people, though. Let's remember, Cosby's lovemaking predilections are not in question here, guys. It's his ability as a father. But this is when they were up against Cosby. Which is above reproach. They were playing against Cosby at the same time, so that's why they're making fun of Cosby. It is. This joke is awesome.
Starting point is 00:26:44 And if you know that like uh why are they so on thursdays at this point yeah yes simpsons have been moved to thursdays by fox to compete with cosby the number one comedy they would end this season though they yes but still like it was a point of contention with the show like why did you move us away from our successful time slot to basically either win or more likely eclipse ourselves up against the number one comedy. Cosby's first law of intergenerational perversity. No matter what you tell your child to do, it will always do the opposite. Huh?
Starting point is 00:27:14 Don't you get it? You've got to use reverse psychology. That sounds too complicated. Okay, don't use reverse psychology. All right, I will. Son, I don't think you should let me help you. Come on, Dad. If you really want to help, you can clean these paintbrushes. Thank you, Bill Cosby.
Starting point is 00:27:30 You saved the Simpsons. Just rubbing it in. And all of the quotes from Fatherhood are actually from the book. These aren't jokes. I think the only book cover that they... I remember that book being on shelves. It's later thrown into a fire on the show.
Starting point is 00:27:46 It was in the lottery episode. That's right. But the line that it is from the book, intergenerational perversity, just really sounds bad in the year of our Lord 2016. What a grumpy fuck. But this episode has two callbacks to Itchy and Scratchy and Marge.
Starting point is 00:28:06 One, that they got the idea for the Soapbox Derby Racer because that's one of the things Bart said he was doing when he wasn't watching Itchy and Scratchy anymore. And two, when Homer says, I'm good at building lots of things, he goes back to the spice rack. Like, the spice rack's the first thing you see. It was another interesting level of continuity that they were interested in back then, but just lightly touching on. And then they have a cute little montage of them building the thing together, which this episode has so
Starting point is 00:28:33 much. I know that song. I've never heard that song. I think it's called Watching Scotty Grow. Yes, that's the song. And that's so weird that I know that 70s song. It's such schmaltzy horseshit. Well, it shows you like dudes who grew up in the 70s. We have never seen a song like that, though. That's what occurred since Will Smith's Just the Two of Us, which he makes about his son.
Starting point is 00:28:54 Which is a remake. It's a remake of a song that I do not believe is about his son. No, no. But you should convert all love stories to your child. It's not creepy. And expect no one to think anything. I thought Dr. Evil sang this song, Chris. I got this clip just because this blew my mind as a little kid.
Starting point is 00:29:11 You know, Marge, that part of ours is a little miracle. His winning smile, his button nose, his fat little stomach, his face alight with wholesome mischief. He reminds me of me before the weight of the world crushed my spirit. I love the line. I remember I wanted to be an animator so I'm trying to draw Bart all the time.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Is Bart fat or not? He has the same body type as every boy on The Simpsons for the most part. The Universal Simpsons pear shape. I'd never heard Homer acknowledge his own son as fat in the same episode. Near an episode, he's not that fat.
Starting point is 00:29:51 His karate lessons episode pointed out he has got a giant stomach. Yeah. It's like jiggling while he's watching TV. I may have said this already now that I think of it. Now as an adult, the weight of the world crushed my spirits. It happened on mic live. Yeah. We heard the spirits crushed out of him. He was crushing my spirit right now.
Starting point is 00:30:05 It was very oxygen in the room. So about that line, it does feel like Jim Brooks was airlifted in to write that one sentence. It feels very Jim Brooks-y, but at the same time, it's true. It's not like I'm watching children, by the way. This is going to sound weird, but when I see kids having fun, I'm like, I wish I could have that much fun again. Yeah, no. I just have too much anxiety, too much adult shit happening in my brain that it's like i can't let myself be that free yeah no i was just feeling that i went to my first giants baseball game in a few years and seeing the kids there just enjoy it without any you know
Starting point is 00:30:36 without any blocking on it or anything they're just like i'm just excited baseball is fun my body doesn't hurt at all yeah but also it reminded me i saw an onion article an onion headliners boy loses balloon begins lifelong struggle with depression like that taught me about loss it really did uh losing my first balloon oh i at the end of the montage of them building the thing too i did love that they they just leave maggie in the garage they're like all right let's do it and they just abandon a baby in the garage. I think I missed that. Because they took one of the wheels off her stroller for a little
Starting point is 00:31:10 lightning, and she just sat there when they leave. Little lightning? I think you mean the Losermobile. Hey, you're not supposed to smoke in the pit area. Fine! Hey, Simpson! Where's your Losermobile? Losermobile.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Wait a minute. It's over there, Nelson. Whoa. Talk about your pieces of crap. You know, Bart, I don't care who wins as long as one of us beats that guy. Same here. That whole bit was great. I think they have to reintroduce Nelson as a bully because he's not a regular on the show.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Yeah. And him putting out the cigarette on his tongue is a perfect like there in five seconds this kid is awful smoking a lot that's a great joke i do feel like this dynamic is kind of like an older simpsons dynamic which is like teaming up against nelson nelson would very much fall into the like the kind of like reluctant uh hangout friend you know that kind of comes along in adventures and i kind of like him more like that where it's like he's like the violent solution to the problem. You absolutely need a fourth. I mean, in the Shelbyville adventure, that's what I loved about him. Him with Martin and just begrudgingly, yes, we are friends here.
Starting point is 00:32:14 Also, Martin sounded weird when he said, to those who doubt the space... It sounded too Minnie Mouse. Martin has the same voice as Minnie Mouse, and that one sounded way too mousy for him. Roosie Taylor. Roosie Taylor. Yeah, Roosie Taylor. Also, all the duck kids, the duck nephews. I know that talk about you pieces of crap.
Starting point is 00:32:34 It wasn't even clever, just blunt. And then when they actually do the race, he literally has a whip. I love that. My lady and I just watched, we've been obsessed with older movies and watch ben-hur in its entirety and wow wow i don't know this that scene is actually like really great in the film a lot of horses died to make that scene so yeah it was worth it and like the guy charlton heston is fighting like yeah he gets thrown out and run over and murdered violently in like a way i'd like really a 1950s film depicted this like it
Starting point is 00:33:05 was a really cool sequence Chris do you have a clip of Martin uh swearing and uh crashing at all okay I have to bring something up um before there were websites there were magazines right yeah and um I was subscribing to Simpsons Illustrated at this time before there were comment sections there were letter sections and there was a massive discussion in one episode of Simpsons Illustrated about Martin swearing in this episode whether it was right to have him swear because some people were like i don't think the voice of gonzo should be swearing i don't think it should be hearing this so it was like a huge discussion in the letter section about this quote which is deploy damn you deploy when he's trying to deploy the parachute when he's crashing so yeah it was
Starting point is 00:33:42 totally innocuous to me this is is the only Bob kids will remember this kind of thing, but I think it should be stated that this is controversial in the Simpsons Illustrated community, this one line. Wow. Yeah, no, I mean there were occasionally, I guess by this point I was used to Bart swears, Nelson swears, Martin
Starting point is 00:33:59 is a goody-goody, but he would I... But they're saying because it's a Disney character's voice. Yeah. So you're saying you know that. i but they're saying because because it's a disney character's voice yeah yeah so you're saying you know that so you're what you're saying is that you know this character isn't real so what you're saying i didn't follow the logic of a cognitive dissonance and you could the capacity for abstract thought and you don't really need to care about this i hate people the arguments were weird and they were weird 25 years ago so what you're really saying is like hey guys i noticed something,
Starting point is 00:34:27 and I'm going to frame it in the form of a controversy. Should Gonzo be swearing? Yes. So Martin. Yes, of course he should be. Fuck Kermit. I'm going to go fuck a chicken in like nine seconds. Watch out, Dave Goels. Martin crashed and was on fire, but he just had a stress fracture on his arm.
Starting point is 00:34:42 That's pretty good for being set on fire and crashing at 100 miles an hour into a wall. I love the Martin performance here, especially him in the hospital. Hey, man, cool crash. Way to cheat death. Thanks, Bart. You had the best stick out there, man. I wish I could build him like you. That racer transformed me into the twisted creature you see before you.
Starting point is 00:35:03 I'll never race again. If you don't race, then Nelson will win. Even if I wanted to, I'm in no shape to do it. Unless... Bart, will you drive my car? I don't know if I should do that. My dad and I built our car together, and if I drove someone else's,
Starting point is 00:35:20 it'd kill him. On the other hand, I'll do it. I kind of like this Martin a little more. They would focus on making him girlier and that was a joke, but in these early episodes, he's a nerd who is consumed by his passions, fixated on what he wants to do. We saw that in when he was transforming
Starting point is 00:35:36 Bart into a nerd. In that one episode of Bark It's Enough? Yeah, Bark It's Enough. Yeah, I think they maybe went a little too easy with the he's a feminine joke. But then again, by that point, they had Database to be like, well, Database is the real obsessive nerd. So Martin kind of has to be... The irredeemable nerd.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Yes. So Martin has to be slightly gay instead. A nerd, but who also plays the lute. And is the queen of summer. King of summer. I think in a way i'm both as a kid i was both martin and database like dependent on the day i didn't want to bring it up i was i didn't want to bring it up but homer gets sad because bart abandoned the acting is so
Starting point is 00:36:14 great in this scene we've got a lot of work to do in the car so i'm gonna pull you out of school for the next couple of weeks dad i don't know how to say this but i don't want to drive your car it's slow it's ugly it handles like a shopping cart. Bart, the car has a few bugs in it, I admit that, but we're Team Simpson. Dad, I love you, but you taught me to win. Why did I ever teach you that? Well, I picked it up somewhere. And if I drive Martin's car, I can win.
Starting point is 00:36:40 I'm sorry, but... No, go ahead, leave me. Go on, go on and win. leave me Go on and win No go on and win without your dad I'll just sit here in Little Lightning Which the Simpsons built And remember that for one brief shining moment I had a son
Starting point is 00:36:55 I remember doing this shit to my dad Homer needs to remember Dead Putting Society It is not okay to lose I don't know if that joke was a direct reference to that. I just loved the animation where he's like, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:37:11 That felt like a season seven level animation to me. There were little hand ticks and movements to it that were so specific for Homer there. I don't know if this was a Dead Putting Society reference, but like in that episode, him helping Bart and being engaged with Bart's life makes Bart's
Starting point is 00:37:28 life worse. It makes the car worse. It makes him lose. It puts him in danger more than he was before. This is a scene, I think, that was cut from syndication for me because it's so brief. Oh, him with Lisa? Yeah, where Homer gets a chance
Starting point is 00:37:44 to confront martin for uh and just yeah dr hebert lisa needs a you homewrecker mr simpson you have every right to be angry but rest assured your son loves you you certainly gave that boy the heebie-jeebies. Didn't he love that? That's not a joke. No. At all. He's terrified.
Starting point is 00:38:08 And that's the end of the scene. The joke is that it's being treated as if, like, Bart is cheating on Homer with Martin. No, the Hibbert joke. Oh, okay. Well, the Hibbert joke is like, you certainly gave that boy the heebie-jeebies. I'm like, I guess Homer's reaction,
Starting point is 00:38:19 you're the Simpsons. Every joke takes, like, nine months to happen, and that's what we left with? I think the joke is Hibbert's not taking it seriously. A man just comes into his office and screams at a child who runs away, and he's like, that's hilarious. This one's a real bummer for me because I'm confronting the idea of inevitably being a father juxtaposed with who I am and how I react to everything else,
Starting point is 00:38:44 which is to sometimes give up, get sad, and recoil. And I never had this much sympathy for Homer until right now, but this is how I react to things. I've always said you were a good father. I've always defended you when people put you down. That's for sure. She ain't lying. But I guess I was wrong.
Starting point is 00:39:03 You are a bad father Leave me alone Just turn away He just turns away from Marge We've got your foam dome We got your hat out of the fridge That was such a great line Thank God Homer retakes the fatherhood test.
Starting point is 00:39:26 I love this clip. It is long. Name your son's hobbies. Building a soapbox racer. Name one of your child's friends. Martin. Martin! I'll curse that name until the day I die!
Starting point is 00:39:40 Huh? Who is your son's hero? Three-time soapbox derby champion ronnie beck oh i'm one question away from being a perfect father name another dad you talk to about parenting oh flanders flanders flanders um uh when should a boy start dating well sir there are two schools of thought on this great Great, thanks! We've not seen Flanders in a while. I like how he showed up here for a second. Yeah, the way it was framed
Starting point is 00:40:10 with the window, like, Flanders showing up. That clip is truncated. Again, we encourage you guys to always watch these episodes before, afterwards, any fucking time. They're great. You know, you talk about the Dead Putting Society connection. The whole setting up of the race and the same announcer, it is all connected to Dead Putting Society.
Starting point is 00:40:29 It is in the show. So those announcers were at the golf game. One thing before after that and then this. What was that second thing? I forget. Was it wrestling? It was wrestling, right? Yeah, he was the announcer for wrestling in the Truckasaurus episode.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Yeah, but I think it was a very intentional callback. So all this mini-golf stuff, maybe it does connect to how Homer and they were referencing the stuff from that one. I also like that Springfield as a whole, it implies it treats everything children do as seriously as
Starting point is 00:40:57 the Olympic Games. Even though only three children are partaking in this sport. Every single time. And then Quimby is a womanizer again. Is that our first Quimby is a womanizer joke? It might be. It might be. Is Quimby a womanizer or is he just a Kennedy?
Starting point is 00:41:13 A default Kennedy. It's a Kennedy-esque womanizer. It's a Kennedy trait, I would say. And so I love the animation of the shot of Homer in the stands. So good. I captured a ton of them just for the fuck of it. When he's like, do it for your old man. Is that the stand?
Starting point is 00:41:28 Do it for your old man, boy. And that is a reference to The Natural, though we'd get a whole more references to The Natural later in the season. They love parodying that movie. But it's also music they can use because Fox owns it. That's right. They reference it all the time. That's why they use the Batman theme a lot, right?
Starting point is 00:41:44 Yep, same deal. They don't own the Spider-Man theme, so when they did Spider-Pig, they had to pay that guy. Love this clip from being on Team Prince. Bart, if she breaks up on you, steer away from the grandstands or else you might kill hundreds of innocent spectators. Bart, what did I just tell you?
Starting point is 00:41:59 Kill spectators. What is the matter with you? It's my dad. Lying there on the couch drinking a beer, staring at the TV. I've never seen him like that. Don't give up on your father! You're dragging for me now!
Starting point is 00:42:14 Ooh. Slaps him twice. Those are hard slaps, too. Bart is not reacting to it much. He also has to backhand him because one arm's in a sling. Oh, yeah. It's good animation. Chris here, no slaps. bassy means it hurt i i like that like a bone i like the animation they erase like i think it was done you can do feel the kind of speed and i like how i really
Starting point is 00:42:38 like the detail of nelson chewing on the bits of the car flying yeah like the shrapnels that was awesome yeah and the uh speedometer peeling off. Like, all those sequences are just beautiful. They're not, like, great Simpsons jokes. It's just awesome animation. Like, everything a cartoon should be. And, again, my only complaint about modern Simpsons is that it doesn't act like a cartoon ever at all. It's just, like, it's a stage sitcom.
Starting point is 00:43:02 Yeah. With how it's portrayed, like, in terms of camera angles and animation, yeah. As a kid, I remember really chuckling at the reveal of Ronnie Beck being somebody seemingly younger than Bart. That was great. That was so great, because I call that like a lost Simpsons joke, because it's too subtle. Because the way Ronnie Beck is smaller and younger than Bart and still his hero, yet refers back to his glory days having seemingly retired as if this was eons ago. It is funny how Ronnie Beck was giving kids advice
Starting point is 00:43:29 to steal from construction sites to build their racers. Yeah. Now I never thought about that. It seems much weirder that that seven-year-old is telling people to steal stuff. Did anybody else steal from construction sites to make things to ride on? I made scooters out of...
Starting point is 00:43:44 I stole a PVC pipe once just to pretend they were lightsabers and hit each other with it. Anybody else steal from construction sites to make things to ride on? I made scooters out of solar. I stole a PVC pipe once just to pretend they were lightsabers and hit each other with it. We were the third house in our neighborhood, so I stole from it. Everything was built in my neck of the woods. I destroyed so many construction sites all the time. And then I do love the line, as a kid I didn't get it, but the line of the driver is essentially ballast. It's a good point. They go down a hill in a straight line.
Starting point is 00:44:05 With no turns, yeah. A human just needs to be in it. I think I don't know the definition of the word ballast. It's a science term. It's just meaning that it can exist or not. It has no bearing on the outcome of an experiment. That's basically what ballast means. Correct me if I'm wrong.
Starting point is 00:44:23 I'm sure you will. It's about ethics in Simpsons Journal. Bart and Homer are not graceful winners in this episode. Oh, I love this one. Thanks, Nelson. Put her there. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Loser.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Na, na, na, na, na. Bart, you know there is such a thing as being a bad winner. Mom, I never won before. I may never win again. Na, na, na, na, na. That's my boy. Na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na. Na-na-na-na-na. That's my boy. Na-na-na-na-na. Na-na-na-na-na.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Na-na-na-na-na. I love the last shot where the Fatherhood Institute is looking on NASA at Mission Control. They have video of the Simpsons and they're hugging each other and confetti's falling down. It's a beautiful way to end the episode. Yet another licensed song. In an episode with like four licensed songs.
Starting point is 00:45:06 I think it's like four. Four or five. This one is a cover, though. Oh, it is? It is a cover, but still they got a pin. Watching Scotty grow was the real one. This is actually just a cover. Well, and Cats in the Cradle.
Starting point is 00:45:16 That was the original too. Yeah, that was the original. You're right. So much music in this. That's why I think in a couple episodes bart's going to sing uh the teddy bear picnic song which is very public domain yeah and i wonder if it's because after this episode like we did too many of these we got no budget we bought a beetle song two episodes ago yeah exactly yeah i did say this episode was softer but i think it's more that it taps into an older dynamics the
Starting point is 00:45:40 show is kind of shedding right now um it's not it's not as fast it's kind of moving a lot slower uh it's still very family-based not no burns at all yeah they you'd see the you know they they're watching tv a lot that was also something gene and reese say it says was uh indicative of their run on the show of characters just watching tv it was just like or opening with a parody yeah opening with a parody opening with homer watching, and like, why have a scene between characters when you can just have a television sketch? I know I was instantly laughing every time they did that. Exactly. I'm glad they had that instead of like starting with Homer.
Starting point is 00:46:16 I also, I didn't mention it at the start, but I loved it. Do it just one more time. But, hi, how can I make it lower than $39.95? Find a way. Find a95? Find a way. Find a way. Find a way. I did love the little detail when Homer drops the sugar cubes, the terrible sugar cubes, in his drink.
Starting point is 00:46:35 He stirs it with the thing he grabbed the sugar cubes with. That was a little... You meant that the sugar cubes were shitty. Also that they looked like shit. Mr. Sugar Cube. I had a girlfriend who would order every kitchen product that was advertised on television. It works once. It's unwashable.
Starting point is 00:46:50 Unfixable. And never works again. The shitty sugar cubes are perfectly emblematic. God. I remember watching many, many times an infomercial for a food dehydrator and I was like this is the coolest thing. Why don't my parents buy one of these? I think I watched that infomercial maybe 20 maybe 20 times i mean there was nothing happening in
Starting point is 00:47:08 the early 90s people i can't stress that enough i remember one of my favorites was a vacuum packing your food thing of like yes food all goes bad but with this vacuum sealer it seal it seals it all i remember being wildly irritated on nickelodeon for like a year it seemed like they only had one sponsor and that was sola flex yeah yeah it's like's like, I'm a child, I need to work out. Yeah, seriously. For low payments of $99 every month. That is way bigger than my allowance in 1991.
Starting point is 00:47:33 I need to blast my quads during my A to B. And then one time on a Sunday afternoon, it's another Soloflex commercial and then it didn't stop. It didn't stop. It keeps going. It should be over by now. I'm positive it should be over by now. This has been like 10 minutes,
Starting point is 00:47:50 and I didn't know what it was. That was my introduction to the infomercial. Nickelodeon in the middle of the day just played a Soloflex infomercial in the midst of all this other Soloflex shit. Now I think TV is just infomercials. Not really, but watch TV on a Saturday on a network.
Starting point is 00:48:06 You're just seeing an infomercial or boring space. I've been pointing this out other places, and there are people who've done it a lot better than me, but I love pointing out that Cinnabon. You've never ever in your life seen an advertisement for Cinnabon. I was going to mention this. Go on YouTube and search Cinnabon ads. Cinnabon has inserted itself into everything you've ever seen
Starting point is 00:48:21 as an ad, but it's Julia Louise Dreyfuss recommending it, or Adam Sandler or Jerry Seinfeld as a fucking bee, or Bob Odenkirk as Saul making them. They've never had a commercial. They're advertised all the time. I was going to say, I thought infomercials just evolved into Adam Sandler
Starting point is 00:48:37 movies. British Popeye's chicken is fat and sweet. Dick's sporting goods is sweet. You spit everywhere when you do that impression. I'm sorry. You've got to stand well on the table. That's okay. I want Adam Sandler impressions to become the new Bill Cosby impression because he has not done anything offensive yet outside of making
Starting point is 00:48:54 five horrible movies. Six, seven maybe. Beyond his bad movies and hiring his friends all the time. In a way, that's good. He keeps giving his friends money. I know. I'm jealous. But his personal hygiene is above reproach. And we'll end on that, everybody. Thanks for listening.
Starting point is 00:49:08 I've been your host, Bob Mack. You can find me on Twitter as Bob Serbo. I also host the classic gaming podcast, Retronauts. All these guys have been on it. I think it's pretty good. You can find that at retronauts.com or go to usgamer.net or you can look up Retronauts in your podcast machine. Everybody else, what do you do?
Starting point is 00:49:23 Please listen to more Lazer Time and Lazer Time related podcasts. We have a show that's just all about one single pop culture topic every single week, every Monday and on LazerTimePodcast.com you can find out even more. We do a ton of articles, a lot of videos. I did something that most people do not give a shit about
Starting point is 00:49:40 but it was one of the most fun videos I made. Eight stupid things Superman does in video games. If you're a decent, even a light comic book nerd, watching Superman die and climb ladders throughout the first 20 years of his video game history is always hilarious to me. I like watching him use mass transit, personally. Yes, that was great.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Riding the subway. And if you like to look back in history, there's 302010, our weekly podcast where we talk about what happened in one given week, 30 years ago, 20 years ago, and 10 years ago. And there's also the comic book podcast I Do, Cape Crisis. But most importantly, this is a Patreon-supported podcast. Go to patreon.com slash lasertime and you can help support us and get access to the first season of this Talking Simpsons as well as the Talking Simpsons Season 2 special. I hope to do more specials in the future,
Starting point is 00:50:28 but we have a ton of other great content on there. Little is $5 a month. Really helps us out. And, you know, it's our full-time job, so please help if you can. Thank you for listening. We'll be back next week with Flaming Moes. It's a great one.
Starting point is 00:50:40 See you then. Wow. Infotainment.

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