Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Saturdays Of Thunder
Episode Date: May 18, 2016Homer tries to improve his fatherhood quotient via soapbox derby racers, plus we talk all about how this aired alongside Michael Jackson’s world premiere Black Or White music video…...
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                                         Ahoy, ahoy everybody and welcome to Talking Simpsons where the host is essentially Ballas,
                                         
                                         that's me.
                                         
                                         This is Laser Time's chronological exploration of the Simpsons and today's episode is all
                                         
                                         about Saturdays of Thunder.
                                         
                                         I'm your host Bob Mackie, who else is here today?
                                         
                                         I'm Henry and quote the Raven, what a shine.
                                         
                                         And?
                                         
                                         Chris, find a way, Antista.
                                         
    
                                         I love that.
                                         
                                         And again, today's episode is Saturdays of Thunder.
                                         
                                         It aired on November 14th, 1991.
                                         
                                         Chris, what happened on this mythical day in history?
                                         
                                         You threw me off with that quote, by the way.
                                         
                                         Find a way.
                                         
                                         I'm still laughing, too.
                                         
                                         Oh my God.
                                         
    
                                         David Duke failed his bid to be Louisiana governor.
                                         
                                         Magic Johnson joins President Bush's commission on AIDS
                                         
                                         and Michael Jackson's album Dangerous debuts with black or white music video.
                                         
                                         And boy, was he dangerous.
                                         
                                         Am I right, guys?
                                         
                                         He's a couple kids.
                                         
                                         That would sadly not be the last we'd hear of David Duke, by the way.
                                         
                                         It really did set back the Klan party at least two years.
                                         
    
                                         But yeah, Dangerous debuted.
                                         
                                         This was Michael Jackson's entry into the 90s, the album Dangerous, led off by Black or White.
                                         
                                         And it was also famous for being a big hit before 91,
                                         
                                         but it was also used as the example of the changing in kids taste because the story was
                                         
                                         that at christmas of this year every parent bought dangerous for their kids and on new year's day
                                         
                                         they all returned it to the record store and bought nirvana's nevermind and that was the big
                                         
                                         change in the landscape of music that was the start of the grunge age but black or white was
                                         
                                         a huge huge deal it was they were trying to make it the next thriller that was the start of the grunge age. But Black or White was a huge, huge deal.
                                         
    
                                         They were trying to make it the next thriller.
                                         
                                         It was going to be the next music video event.
                                         
                                         Is it not?
                                         
                                         I mean, I guess it was the next thriller.
                                         
                                         It replayed all the time.
                                         
                                         Time stopped when these videos came out.
                                         
                                         It's true.
                                         
                                         They were events.
                                         
    
                                         They weren't just MTV.
                                         
                                         They would air simultaneously on networks at the exact same time.
                                         
                                         This was the big deal.
                                         
                                         It was on MTV, VH1, BET,
                                         
                                         cable networks that always show it,
                                         
                                         but Fox was the first time
                                         
                                         that a network was going to
                                         
                                         air a Michael Jackson video,
                                         
    
                                         premiere it at the same time as every
                                         
                                         other channel.
                                         
                                         Were you guys all here for this?
                                         
                                         I watched it live.
                                         
                                         Only with the internet was I
                                         
                                         ever able to see it again,
                                         
                                         as I originally saw it
                                         
                                         Because I wasn't taping it
                                         
    
                                         And it aired with The Simpsons
                                         
                                         As we already talked about in the season 3 premiere
                                         
                                         Michael Jackson loved The Simpsons
                                         
                                         Bart especially
                                         
                                         Wink
                                         
                                         And so of course it was going to air right after The Simpsons
                                         
                                         And that's something on this episode
                                         
                                         The DVD version
                                         
    
                                         Is different than the one I
                                         
                                         engraved in my memory from watching VHS because I taped this episode the premiere night and so
                                         
                                         they had to cut about like two minutes of stuff to because the Michael Jackson was going to run
                                         
                                         long the video is like 11 minutes he turns into a jaguar and has a fight but first yes but first
                                         
                                         Dave and I just watched this. I had not seen this video
                                         
                                         in maybe 15 years, and it is really
                                         
                                         just a naive and goofy tour of
                                         
                                         different ethnicities in the Street Fighter 2 style.
                                         
    
                                         It's just like, let's find the most obvious stereotypes
                                         
                                         from each nation and visit them. But the morphing
                                         
                                         technology. The morphing is great, but I think
                                         
                                         it's funny how it was a Street Fighter tour, but then there's
                                         
                                         a Street Fighter bonus level at the end in which Michael Jackson
                                         
                                         beats up a car.
                                         
                                         First off, so that
                                         
                                         before the video...
                                         
    
                                         Is that an
                                         
                                         In Living Color?
                                         
                                         It is an In Living Color original.
                                         
                                         Well, so when it was
                                         
                                         about to premiere on Fox,
                                         
                                         Bart made sure to tell kids
                                         
                                         to not change the channel
                                         
                                         and watch what was going to happen. Now the moment you've been waiting for.
                                         
    
                                         Don't touch that guy.
                                         
                                         He's bad.
                                         
                                         He's cool.
                                         
                                         He's dangerous.
                                         
                                         He's the king of pop music.
                                         
                                         My main man, Michael Jackson.
                                         
                                         This is crazy.
                                         
                                         This is so lost in time.
                                         
    
                                         And it's just rock and roll voice over the Bartman video.
                                         
                                         Because briefly in the Bartman video when he says, just like Michael Jackson, he has the curl drop down.
                                         
                                         And so they just rock and rolled the voice and just had him bounce back and forth and be like yeah
                                         
                                         watch michael jackson michael jackson next like and that sounds like shit because it only exists
                                         
                                         because somebody taped it on slp mode uh 25 years ago yeah i do have to wonder though in this video
                                         
                                         i wonder how the black performer felt about them putting his rap into macaulay culkin's mouth
                                         
                                         uh that felt kind of awkward to me.
                                         
                                         I'm not going to spend my life being a cullen.
                                         
    
                                         And so I also have a very vivid memory of this because so they play it.
                                         
                                         The second half of it is very controversial, like because it's kind of just a Bob Fosse routine about how much he hates racism because it is silence.
                                         
                                         There's no music.
                                         
                                         It is just the sound of his dancing,
                                         
                                         fever dancing, grabbing his crotch
                                         
                                         many, many times. I remember even on
                                         
                                         MTV, for the first
                                         
                                         week they might have shown that part. It was never
                                         
    
                                         shown again because that
                                         
                                         serves no purpose. Well, it's more than just the
                                         
                                         crotch grab, though. He lingers on his crotch.
                                         
                                         His hand doesn't leave it for seconds at a time.
                                         
                                         He's rubbing. He's feeling his chest at the same
                                         
                                         time. And then after doing that,
                                         
                                         then he goes up to a car that has racist stuff written on it,
                                         
                                         like N-word go home, except it doesn't say N-word.
                                         
    
                                         It says...
                                         
                                         What does it say, Henry?
                                         
                                         And there's also a window that says...
                                         
                                         No good mix.
                                         
                                         There's also a window that says KKK rules.
                                         
                                         And he smashes down...
                                         
                                         They were notorious for that in New Yorkork back in the day so everywhere but it
                                         
                                         made everybody uncomfortable and i have a very clear memory of this my brother had tonsillectomy
                                         
    
                                         that same day and we went to go pick him up from the from the hospital and uh on the radio i
                                         
                                         remember the atlanta djs were joking around about how many times he grabs his crotch in that video
                                         
                                         and saying that he obviously needs jock itch cream.
                                         
                                         I bet there was a clown horn or a cowbell or something.
                                         
                                         Oh, oh.
                                         
                                         Thank you, thank you.
                                         
                                         I do remember, like, parents...
                                         
                                         Wow, Bob Mackie.
                                         
    
                                         I am here, Chris.
                                         
                                         I do remember parents groups saying, like, he touched his crotch 34 times in two minutes.
                                         
                                         Dear Lord.
                                         
                                         I've done it more in this recording.
                                         
                                         But it's weird how sexualized and angry he made himself.
                                         
                                         It really wasn't the Michael Jackson you saw most of the time.
                                         
                                         I think it did confuse people.
                                         
                                         I feel like he was trying to reinvent himself as a more masculine performer.
                                         
    
                                         That and his lavender marriage, I guess you would call it, to Lisa Marie Presley.
                                         
                                         He was not a gay man, but he was not also a heterosexual man,
                                         
                                         I'm guessing.
                                         
                                         I did listen to this album a lot, unironically,
                                         
                                         when it came out, and there's a sketch before this song.
                                         
                                         Turn it down, kids.
                                         
                                         Shut up, Dad.
                                         
                                         I'm trying to listen.
                                         
    
                                         That's the best part.
                                         
                                         The video is George Wendt from Cheers and Macaulay Culkin,
                                         
                                         and then Bart Simpson starts dancing,
                                         
                                         and I could never recreate that again.
                                         
                                         And so because that
                                         
                                         outro, so whenever they replayed
                                         
                                         Black or White, when he would transform
                                         
                                         into the panther
                                         
    
                                         and then walk away, it would always
                                         
                                         end right there when he morphs into the panther.
                                         
                                         That deprived people
                                         
                                         of seeing the other Simpsons cameo in the
                                         
                                         video because the video ends
                                         
                                         with Bart in this.
                                         
                                         Bart, turn up that noise!
                                         
                                         Chill out, homeboy.
                                         
    
                                         And Homer turns off the TV.
                                         
                                         The animation there is so fluid.
                                         
                                         Bart's wearing a Michael Jackson shirt
                                         
                                         in a very Beavis and Butthead style.
                                         
                                         It looks like Butterfinger BB's animation or whatever.
                                         
                                         It is Butterfinger- level animation for the simpsons
                                         
                                         and and that means something but yeah they spent the money on having an outro they're like oh then
                                         
                                         bart turns bart is dancing to it he's so excited he's like i love this music but that also is
                                         
    
                                         awkward that they had to cut back to the black or black or white guitar hook because he wouldn't be
                                         
                                         doing that after watching michael jackson destroy all that stuff
                                         
                                         he would just be uncomfortable like what did i just watch you should just cut the bart smashing
                                         
                                         apart the living room yeah with like a crowbar but anyway so yeah this episode will always be
                                         
                                         connected to black or white in my mind even though the episode has nothing to do with michael jackson
                                         
                                         i do have to say this episode is written by ken levine and David Isaacs who we've talked about before. They wrote
                                         
                                         Dance and Homer. Topes Lose.
                                         
                                         Yeah, Topes Lose. And I feel this
                                         
    
                                         episode is a much softer episode.
                                         
                                         I always think it's in season two when I think about it
                                         
                                         because it's not as
                                         
                                         cutting, not as accelerated as season
                                         
                                         three was getting. Has anybody
                                         
                                         ever seen a Soapbox
                                         
                                         Derby? No. It is part of
                                         
                                         that how The Simpsons is a living anachronism.
                                         
    
                                         Like Bart has a slingshot
                                         
                                         and stuff.
                                         
                                         It is very like
                                         
                                         here's Americana
                                         
                                         but in the 90s.
                                         
                                         I remember when I was
                                         
                                         leaving my adolescence
                                         
                                         being disappointed that
                                         
    
                                         no one ever brought up
                                         
                                         a soapbox derby.
                                         
                                         The funny thing is
                                         
                                         apparently only three kids
                                         
                                         in Springfield
                                         
                                         ever soapbox raced.
                                         
                                         That is Bart,
                                         
                                         Martin, and Nelson.
                                         
    
                                         I don't think I noticed
                                         
                                         that before.
                                         
                                         There were only three people
                                         
                                         in every race.
                                         
                                         It's true.
                                         
                                         But it opens with the triumphant return of Phil Hartman.
                                         
                                         I can't believe they invented it.
                                         
                                         And Troy McClure.
                                         
    
                                         I'm actor Troy McClure.
                                         
                                         You might remember me from such TV series as Buck Henderson, Union Buster,
                                         
                                         and Troy and Company's Summertime Smile Factory.
                                         
                                         But I'm here to tell you about Spiffy, the 21st century stain remover.
                                         
                                         Let's meet the inventor, Dr. Nick Riviera.
                                         
                                         Thank you, Troy.
                                         
                                         Hi, everybody.
                                         
                                         Hi, Dr. Nick.
                                         
    
                                         Troy, I brought with me the gravestone of author and troubled soul, Edgar Allan Poe.
                                         
                                         One of our best writers.
                                         
                                         That's there for the cheap seats, I think.
                                         
                                         I'll tell you who he is.
                                         
                                         Again, but I do want to say Spiffy is not a funny product name,
                                         
                                         and that's because every joke name they pitched
                                         
                                         Was a real product
                                         
                                         So they just went with Spiffy
                                         
    
                                         It's a funny story
                                         
                                         I do love how Nick Riviera says
                                         
                                         Spiffy
                                         
                                         What a good name
                                         
                                         Quoth the Raven
                                         
                                         What a shine
                                         
                                         That's one clean tombstone
                                         
                                         I love the way Homer reaches for the phone and is so excited he can't dial.
                                         
    
                                         He needs his dialing wand.
                                         
                                         He needs his dialing wand.
                                         
                                         That is my line of the show, quote the Raven, let it shine.
                                         
                                         Well, I'll throw in the jingle just because this makes me laugh way too hard.
                                         
                                         That's the joke.
                                         
                                         Maybe because some of my favorite Simpsons jokes occur from a character off screen.
                                         
                                         But, Troy,
                                         
                                         how can I make it
                                         
    
                                         lower than $39.95?
                                         
                                         Find a way!
                                         
                                         I do like that.
                                         
                                         That's after the audience is threatening Nick with
                                         
                                         physical violence. And I should say
                                         
                                         that this is when infomercials
                                         
                                         were new. We saw parodies of them
                                         
                                         on everything. And this is one of the first parodies of an infomercial
                                         
    
                                         that we would see. I know one of my favorite shows
                                         
                                         is Mr. Show and a lot of people who missed
                                         
                                         the first season were introduced to it because HBO
                                         
                                         ran ad nauseum. Fantastic
                                         
                                         newness. Fantastic newness.
                                         
                                         A infomercial parody.
                                         
                                         I loved when at the end
                                         
                                         David Cross put his head
                                         
    
                                         in a bag to say when it was airing
                                         
                                         because when they were filming it they bag to say when it was airing because when they were filming
                                         
                                         it, they didn't know when it was filming.
                                         
                                         The Talkin' Mr. Show, someday soon.
                                         
                                         This is, oh, it's 32 episodes.
                                         
                                         It'll be great.
                                         
                                         We'd be done already.
                                         
                                         Homer's watching TV.
                                         
    
                                         It's a great intro. A very fast
                                         
                                         intro compared to the episodes
                                         
                                         before and after it.
                                         
                                         Because someone is using Homer's power
                                         
                                         tools. Who's using the power
                                         
                                         tools? I don't know. Some guy
                                         
                                         I guess. Well, we're going
                                         
                                         to the beauty parlor. Maybe I should do something
                                         
    
                                         with the kids while I'm gone. Oh,
                                         
                                         sure. Great idea. I'd
                                         
                                         love to. Oh, did you
                                         
                                         hear that? Yes. How much? Everything.
                                         
                                         What's the quickest, cheapest, easiest way
                                         
                                         to do something with you? Uh, take us to the video store anything for my little girl this almost looks you want to be a
                                         
                                         father an excuse to go to a video store that did give me warm fuzzies of just remembering like the
                                         
                                         trip to the video store yay i mean i don't need friends and parties at 17 i just want to go to
                                         
    
                                         the video store with my parents the video store was the 90s parenting solution where it's like, we'll go to the video store
                                         
                                         Friday, we'll run our own things, and we won't talk
                                         
                                         to each other. And that's how we'll get along.
                                         
                                         We'll pick up pizza on the way home.
                                         
                                         We'll make fucking pop quiz
                                         
                                         popcorn. What will pop up next?
                                         
                                         The popcorn's gonna be orange!
                                         
                                         It's gonna be great!
                                         
    
                                         Could have been the line of the show.
                                         
                                         Farts!
                                         
                                         You can't weld with such a little flame! Stupid kid. I was reading that some of the line of the show. Bart! You can't weld with such a little flame.
                                         
                                         Stupid kid.
                                         
                                         I was reading
                                         
                                         that some of their
                                         
                                         the controversy
                                         
                                         with the censors
                                         
    
                                         on this episode
                                         
                                         involved Bart welding.
                                         
                                         Yeah, they said
                                         
                                         that they didn't like
                                         
                                         it was an imitatable act
                                         
                                         they said
                                         
                                         and their defense was
                                         
                                         no kids got access
                                         
    
                                         to a welding thing.
                                         
                                         Yeah, and then
                                         
                                         as a kid in shop class
                                         
                                         I was taught
                                         
                                         how to use a welder.
                                         
                                         I don't fucking remember
                                         
                                         how to do that shit at all.
                                         
                                         It was an argument over whether Bart should have his face mask up or down,
                                         
    
                                         which he had it up, which is in hindsight a joke
                                         
                                         that I don't even know if you can get on network television at all now.
                                         
                                         It's damaging Bart's eyes.
                                         
                                         He should technically have giant floaters in his eyes forever now.
                                         
                                         Later they would do a joke about the same tool,
                                         
                                         except Homer would be smoking a cigar while using it. I feel like that's the more objectionable part. now the later they would do a joke about they would do a joke about the same tool except homer
                                         
                                         would be smoking a cigar while using it i feel like that's the more objectionable part now they
                                         
                                         could not show homer smoking a cigar and this the whole video sequence is only there to just give us
                                         
    
                                         a wonderful mcbain reference yeah you keep eating them hotlings you're never gonna make it to a
                                         
                                         pension come on live a little scoey oh thank, thank you. Got me a future, partner.
                                         
                                         I'm two days away from retirement.
                                         
                                         My daughter's graduating from college.
                                         
                                         Little Susie's going up.
                                         
                                         And as soon as we nail Mendoza,
                                         
                                         my old lady and I are going to sail around the world
                                         
                                         like we always wanted.
                                         
    
                                         We just christened a boat.
                                         
                                         To live forever.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         This is still a joke I see in things.
                                         
                                         You got one day to retirement?
                                         
                                         It's a Lethal Weapon joke
                                         
                                         But it's also a Clint Eastwood
                                         
                                         Or Dirty Harry joke
                                         
    
                                         His partners always die
                                         
                                         Sudden impact it's based on
                                         
                                         And Lethal Weapon 2
                                         
                                         But it's a cliche in everything
                                         
                                         Or Lethal Weapon 2 colon diplomatic immunity
                                         
                                         Lethal Weapon comma T-O-O
                                         
                                         I mean his
                                         
                                         The character seems more like the Donald Glover character.
                                         
    
                                         Like, too old for this shit.
                                         
                                         Donald Glover.
                                         
                                         Him.
                                         
                                         Danny Glover character.
                                         
                                         But this one,
                                         
                                         okay, Mendoza.
                                         
                                         Yo, if you have,
                                         
                                         I got to work with a guy
                                         
    
                                         for six years named Mendoza.
                                         
                                         Oh, I did for nine months
                                         
                                         and I never did it
                                         
                                         and I was biting my tongue.
                                         
                                         I never did it either.
                                         
                                         I'm not gonna make it.
                                         
                                         Oh, stop talking crazy.
                                         
                                         No, no, no, no.
                                         
    
                                         Just do one thing for me.
                                         
                                         Get Mendoza.
                                         
                                         Mendoza!
                                         
                                         Harry Shearer, dude.
                                         
                                         Harry Shearer.
                                         
                                         Harry Shearer.
                                         
                                         When he gave a shit,
                                         
                                         I'm a broken record about Harry Shearer,
                                         
    
                                         but just hearing him,
                                         
                                         it's just amazing.
                                         
                                         So much energy.
                                         
                                         His performance in these small parts, and we were just talking,
                                         
                                         I don't know if we've mentioned on the show a billion times,
                                         
                                         I'm pretty sure we have, that the current showrunners don't like to use Burns because Shearer isn't dependable enough.
                                         
                                         He sounds like this.
                                         
                                         I mean, and he literally phones it in.
                                         
    
                                         He does it over the phone.
                                         
                                         Burns sounds way too old.
                                         
                                         That's my only criticism.
                                         
                                         One of my few criticisms.
                                         
                                         But anyway, yeah, I think that's my favorite ever McBain scene.
                                         
                                         It looks beautiful as well.
                                         
                                         Because that line that you miss,
                                         
                                         because there's a guy bleeding on the floor from 18 bullet shot wounds.
                                         
    
                                         It's like, I'm not going to make it.
                                         
                                         Stop talking crazy.
                                         
                                         I love that, yeah.
                                         
                                         And then we eventually see McBain go to Mendoza's party, Crash's party.
                                         
                                         As revenge.
                                         
                                         But I just, God, as a former Blockbuster employee, which I feel they were, that was specifically what they were referencing in this,
                                         
                                         employees could never put on a film that violent.
                                         
                                         They would not be allowed to.
                                         
    
                                         We worked at Sunco, so we were never allowed to put on anything rated R.
                                         
                                         In fact, I had to let the manager borrow money.
                                         
                                         And his piece with me he made is like,
                                         
                                         you want to put on a Mystery Science Theater episode?
                                         
                                         Which I had begged to do for literally years, and it was not considered appropriate enough.
                                         
                                         This Midwestern Cowtown puppet show with movies from the 50s.
                                         
                                         Basic cable show from the 90s. It's funny you mention MSD3K, because as a fan, I liked hearing on this commentary,
                                         
                                         Mike Reese really loved that they did
                                         
    
                                         a Mendoza reference on
                                         
                                         MST3K. Really? Yeah. That's wonderful.
                                         
                                         He was very proud of that. This is where
                                         
                                         the whole episode kicks in.
                                         
                                         Your memories will tell
                                         
                                         you it's the Soapbox Racer episode, but it's
                                         
                                         more the Homer trying to be a better father
                                         
                                         episode. That's the A story.
                                         
    
                                         One of many. Homer, could you turn off
                                         
                                         the TV?
                                         
                                         There's a little test I want you to take.
                                         
                                         Oh, great.
                                         
                                         You made me miss Joe Teisman.
                                         
                                         This is from the National Fatherhood Institute.
                                         
                                         It evaluates your knowledge of your son and rates you as a father.
                                         
                                         Oh, Mars.
                                         
    
                                         Question one.
                                         
                                         Name one of your child's friends.
                                         
                                         Uh, let's see.
                                         
                                         Bart's friend. Uh, well, there's the fat kid with the thing.
                                         
                                         Uh, the little wiener who's always got his hands in his pocket.
                                         
                                         They want a name, Homer, not a vague description.
                                         
                                         Okay. Hank?
                                         
                                         Hank? Hank who?
                                         
    
                                         Hank Jones.
                                         
                                         Homer, you made that up.
                                         
                                         Question two. Who was your son's hero?
                                         
                                         Steve McQueen.
                                         
                                         That's your hero.
                                         
                                         Name another dad you talked to about parenting. Next. What are your son's hero steve mcqueen that's your hero name another dad you talked to about parenting
                                         
                                         next what are your son's hobbies well he's always chewing on that phone cord he hasn't done that
                                         
                                         since he was two then he has no hobbies oh really well maybe you should go out to the garage and see
                                         
    
                                         then he has no this is indulgent of me that's fine that what are we doing chris we're talking
                                         
                                         about the simpsons he's in the video store And what section of the video
                                         
                                         Sort of somergravity
                                         
                                         Sports bloopers
                                         
                                         So like
                                         
                                         That was a huge thing around this time
                                         
                                         It was
                                         
                                         Like even on kid shows
                                         
    
                                         And I remember
                                         
                                         Begging my father
                                         
                                         For a Sports Illustrated subscription
                                         
                                         Because it was the only way
                                         
                                         You could see
                                         
                                         Let me see if they say the title of it
                                         
                                         Because I've never forgot it
                                         
                                         If you ask me
                                         
    
                                         What's your favorite sports blooper video
                                         
                                         I would say this.
                                         
                                         Here it comes,
                                         
                                         the slammin' jammin'
                                         
                                         rip-flurrin' good time video.
                                         
                                         The NBA's dazzling dunks
                                         
                                         and basketball bloopers.
                                         
                                         It's all new,
                                         
    
                                         fun and excitement,
                                         
                                         and the only way to get it
                                         
                                         is free with your paid subscription
                                         
                                         to Sports Illustrated.
                                         
                                         These were two-minute commercials
                                         
                                         that aired all the time.
                                         
                                         I still never got my football phone.
                                         
                                         The football phone was, this is an escal never got my football phone. The football phone was
                                         
    
                                         an escalation to the football phone.
                                         
                                         Before that, they were 45 minute, hour long
                                         
                                         VHSs of sports
                                         
                                         highlights. Then they just moved over to
                                         
                                         blooper angles.
                                         
                                         I think people begged for those commercials to be run
                                         
                                         during breaks.
                                         
                                         Just run full two minute spot for
                                         
    
                                         sports bloopers. No one will change the channel.
                                         
                                         Before YouTube existed, you needed videos just of bloopers.
                                         
                                         That's why you don't see on our other show, 302010,
                                         
                                         I constantly skip over another episode of TV's bloopers and practical jokes
                                         
                                         because the audience doesn't exist for that anymore.
                                         
                                         They just go to YouTube to watch the outtakes reel from a DVD.
                                         
                                         But you don't get those Sergio Aragonones cartoons that come and clean the screen up.
                                         
                                         Very few prescient things on these podcasts.
                                         
    
                                         But one of the things I said recently on another podcast was that, like, what happened to DVD special features?
                                         
                                         And, like, that's what we do now.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Like, we don't need to wait for DVDs.
                                         
                                         So they don't bother putting production behind interviewing those people because they know people like us will break down an episode and
                                         
                                         maybe contact that person.
                                         
                                         We'll make those people. And we'll make them unofficially
                                         
                                         and free and they'll be better anyway.
                                         
    
                                         But on every Marvel film,
                                         
                                         what's the one feature they still have
                                         
                                         on Blu-ray?
                                         
                                         Gagreel. Every time,
                                         
                                         Gagreel. They have a Gagreel because it's the
                                         
                                         one thing they officially have that no one else can do.
                                         
                                         But also,
                                         
                                         do you nerds know the Joe
                                         
    
                                         Theismann story? I know it because
                                         
                                         they referenced it on King of the Hill a few times.
                                         
                                         Joe Theismann's
                                         
                                         birdie leg.
                                         
                                         Yeah, he was
                                         
                                         one of the most popular football players of the
                                         
                                         80s and live on Monday
                                         
                                         Night Football, he
                                         
    
                                         got sacked the wrong way and
                                         
                                         Lawrence Taylor broke his leg, like landed.
                                         
                                         His knee landed on his leg the wrong way,
                                         
                                         and it is one of the most gruesome things the world, like America,
                                         
                                         was exposed to live on television.
                                         
                                         And it made Lawrence Taylor like an infamous star.
                                         
                                         And one of the things that really got people pissed then was because
                                         
                                         he was freaked out, and he was calling for help.
                                         
    
                                         Like, he's really hurt.
                                         
                                         Get help right here.
                                         
                                         But without sound and from a distance, viewers thought he was like, I fucking broke his leg.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And so he became one of the most hated men in football.
                                         
                                         Like, that's why LT is one of the NFL players who's actually... Well, that's why Lawrence Taylor is one of the few football players in the Any Given Sunday
                                         
                                         because he's not friends.
                                         
                                         He's the dirty guy anyway.
                                         
    
                                         NFL doesn't like him.
                                         
                                         This is one of my favorite lines ever.
                                         
                                         Homer going outside to discover Bart does, in fact, have a hobby,
                                         
                                         and he's a failure as a father.
                                         
                                         Bart!
                                         
                                         Bart!
                                         
                                         What?
                                         
                                         You don't have any hobbies, do you, boy?
                                         
    
                                         No, not really.
                                         
                                         Well, that's what I...
                                         
                                         Wait a minute.
                                         
                                         What are you doing?
                                         
                                         Building a soapbox derby racer.
                                         
                                         That's a hobby.
                                         
                                         Hey, so it is.
                                         
                                         Oh, my God.
                                         
    
                                         I don't know jack about my boy.
                                         
                                         I'm a bad father.
                                         
                                         You're also fat.
                                         
                                         I'm also fat.
                                         
                                         There's a lot of Patty and Selma
                                         
                                         in these ones we're doing, and it's great.
                                         
                                         I love that.
                                         
                                         They're brand new Mary Tyler Moore haircuts.
                                         
    
                                         So let's talk about that real quick.
                                         
                                         First off, when they talk about the Henry Winkler quote,
                                         
                                         I always think of that every time.
                                         
                                         I've heard many interviews people say,
                                         
                                         Henry Winkler is the greatest guy,
                                         
                                         the sweetest man in the world, we all love him.
                                         
                                         I always think back to that quote of like,, yeah, he does sound like a cool guy.
                                         
                                         I mean, in that quote about he's always had happy days with his kids.
                                         
    
                                         But then secondly, so the Mary Tyler Moore stuff.
                                         
                                         Ken Levine and the other writer, Isaac.
                                         
                                         David Isaacs.
                                         
                                         David Isaacs.
                                         
                                         They reveal in the commentary they worked on a TV a tv show with mary tyler moore
                                         
                                         and they did not like that they said that the people who went to vietnam were the lucky ones
                                         
                                         in terms of working with her sorry i didn't mean to step on your no no and so later in the episode
                                         
                                         where barney gets maced by her uh and says are you mary tyler moore gets maced. My friend and I have a bet. Are you Mary Tyler Moore?
                                         
    
                                         Wow, it really is you.
                                         
                                         That means that's them saying she is a total asshole who would mace you in the face.
                                         
                                         No, dude, I had that for later because I love when Barney gets maced in burps.
                                         
                                         I think it's happened more than once.
                                         
                                         Yeah, this happened in the War of the Simpsons.
                                         
                                         Was it Patty or Selma? Was it the same sister?
                                         
                                         I don't know. I think it was the same one.
                                         
                                         That joke doesn't work unless Mary Tyler Moore
                                         
    
                                         sucks. And I don't
                                         
                                         know. I don't know either. I do
                                         
                                         know that she has had alcohol
                                         
                                         issues, alcohol addiction. I believe she
                                         
                                         is openly... I know she was
                                         
                                         into the 90s. I love flirting with
                                         
                                         disaster. Yeah, but I think she's
                                         
                                         that could be part of the reason.
                                         
    
                                         I don't know. Reportedly she's a jerk
                                         
                                         at the end. These two guys hated her.
                                         
                                         They got the ultimate burn.
                                         
                                         The show people will still be watching in 30 years.
                                         
                                         The Simpsons will be right back.
                                         
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                                         You like Lazer Time shows? Then you might like Bonus Time, LaserTime's weekly bonus show exclusively
                                         
                                         on patreon.com slash lasertime.
                                         
                                         Here's a taste of what you've been missing.
                                         
                                         You want to go through games journalism
                                         
                                         days of yore. Heidi,
                                         
                                         she's like, but I found all these other
                                         
    
                                         jump drives from you, and these are all
                                         
                                         from like our era in the games
                                         
                                         press that I've been slowly throwing out.
                                         
                                         512 megabytes.
                                         
                                         We've made bigger podcasts.
                                         
                                         I wonder what... I'm going to stick it in and see what's on.
                                         
                                         In a preview
                                         
                                         for Jumper Griffin's story.
                                         
    
                                         What the fuck?
                                         
                                         Can you read a sentence from that?
                                         
                                         Taking interviewing of the Banff Happy
                                         
                                         Jumper trailer,
                                         
                                         you might be bracing yourself for seeing another game movie tie-in starring Hayden Christensen and Samuel L. Jackson.
                                         
                                         Hey, that's not a bad line.
                                         
                                         They've been in a lot of movie tie-in games together.
                                         
                                         But you'd be wrong, young Padawan.
                                         
    
                                         Central in the film, though they are,
                                         
                                         Jumper's Griffin story allows Jamie Bell's character,
                                         
                                         the immensely irritating Jimmy from King Kong.
                                         
                                         That was a reference i thought everyone would get
                                         
                                         unfolding a different plot that intersects the events of the film because it was an interquel
                                         
                                         or that is way too good for a jumper griffin story preview
                                         
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                                         you'll help us live and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again But Homer has to call the bad father hotline.
                                         
                                         This is the National Fatherhood Institute.
                                         
                                         Dave speaking.
                                         
                                         I'm Homer Simpson.
                                         
                                         I just took your test.
                                         
                                         I got a zero.
                                         
    
                                         Good Lord, a zero.
                                         
                                         Lana, cancel my one o'clock.
                                         
                                         Mr. Simpson, we'll send a wood panel station wagon over for you immediately.
                                         
                                         It's such a cute joke.
                                         
                                         That is beautiful.
                                         
                                         And it really does show up in just the reaction of them taking him away like,
                                         
                                         Bye, son.
                                         
                                         They're finally taking your dad away.
                                         
    
                                         Maybe it's for the best.
                                         
                                         And Harry Shearer is doing an impression of Mason Adams.
                                         
                                         I thought it was a Casey Kasem impression, but it actually is Mason Adams.
                                         
                                         I cannot place his voice.
                                         
                                         Common and number one and then comes in
                                         
                                         another of the many like distracting now references to bill cosby just yeah all right for starters
                                         
                                         mr simpson why don't you take this complimentary copy of fatherhood by bill cosby if he's as smart
                                         
                                         as he is funny i'm sold i mean the joke is this is a schmaltzy book full of awful platitudes
                                         
    
                                         awful feel-good platitudes.
                                         
                                         It's not even written by Bill Cosby, by the way.
                                         
                                         It's ghostwritten by Ralph Schoenstein, who works for All Things Considered, if you're wondering the quality of the humor.
                                         
                                         I'm sorry.
                                         
                                         I hate All Things Considered.
                                         
                                         As I say, if you're saying that to my mom, she'd say, oh, so it's hilarious.
                                         
                                         It's not as bad as Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
                                         
                                         It's her favorite show.
                                         
    
                                         My mom listens to this. It's made for 60-year-old people, though.
                                         
                                         Let's remember, Cosby's lovemaking predilections are not in question here, guys.
                                         
                                         It's his ability as a father.
                                         
                                         But this is when they were up against Cosby.
                                         
                                         Which is above reproach.
                                         
                                         They were playing against Cosby at the same time, so that's why they're making fun of Cosby.
                                         
                                         It is.
                                         
                                         This joke is awesome.
                                         
    
                                         And if you know that like
                                         
                                         uh why are they so on thursdays at this point yeah yes simpsons have been moved to thursdays
                                         
                                         by fox to compete with cosby the number one comedy they would end this season though they
                                         
                                         yes but still like it was a point of contention with the show like why did you move us away from
                                         
                                         our successful time slot to basically either win or more likely eclipse ourselves up against the number one comedy.
                                         
                                         Cosby's first law of intergenerational perversity.
                                         
                                         No matter what you tell your child to do, it will always do the opposite.
                                         
                                         Huh?
                                         
    
                                         Don't you get it?
                                         
                                         You've got to use reverse psychology.
                                         
                                         That sounds too complicated.
                                         
                                         Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
                                         
                                         All right, I will.
                                         
                                         Son, I don't think you should let me help you.
                                         
                                         Come on, Dad. If you really want to help, you can clean these
                                         
                                         paintbrushes. Thank you, Bill Cosby.
                                         
    
                                         You saved the Simpsons.
                                         
                                         Just rubbing it in.
                                         
                                         And all of the quotes from
                                         
                                         Fatherhood are actually from the book.
                                         
                                         These aren't jokes.
                                         
                                         I think the only book cover
                                         
                                         that they... I remember that book being
                                         
                                         on shelves. It's later thrown into a fire on the show.
                                         
    
                                         It was in the lottery episode.
                                         
                                         That's right.
                                         
                                         But the line that it is from the book,
                                         
                                         intergenerational perversity,
                                         
                                         just really sounds bad in the year of our Lord 2016.
                                         
                                         What a grumpy fuck.
                                         
                                         But this episode has two callbacks
                                         
                                         to Itchy and Scratchy and Marge.
                                         
    
                                         One, that they got the idea for the Soapbox Derby Racer because that's one of the things Bart said he was doing when he wasn't watching Itchy and Scratchy anymore.
                                         
                                         And two, when Homer says, I'm good at building lots of things, he goes back to the spice rack.
                                         
                                         Like, the spice rack's the first thing you see.
                                         
                                         It was another interesting level of continuity that they were interested in back then, but just lightly touching
                                         
                                         on. And then they have a cute
                                         
                                         little montage of them
                                         
                                         building the thing together, which
                                         
                                         this episode has so
                                         
    
                                         much. I know that song. I've never
                                         
                                         heard that song. I think it's called Watching Scotty Grow.
                                         
                                         Yes, that's the song. And that's
                                         
                                         so weird that I know that 70s song.
                                         
                                         It's such schmaltzy horseshit.
                                         
                                         Well, it shows you like dudes who grew up in the 70s.
                                         
                                         We have never seen a song like that, though.
                                         
                                         That's what occurred since Will Smith's Just the Two of Us, which he makes about his son.
                                         
    
                                         Which is a remake.
                                         
                                         It's a remake of a song that I do not believe is about his son.
                                         
                                         No, no.
                                         
                                         But you should convert all love stories to your child.
                                         
                                         It's not creepy.
                                         
                                         And expect no one to think anything.
                                         
                                         I thought Dr. Evil sang this song, Chris.
                                         
                                         I got this clip just because this blew my mind as a little kid.
                                         
    
                                         You know, Marge, that part of ours is a little miracle.
                                         
                                         His winning smile, his button nose, his fat little stomach,
                                         
                                         his face alight with wholesome mischief.
                                         
                                         He reminds me of me before the weight of the world crushed my spirit.
                                         
                                         I love the line.
                                         
                                         I remember
                                         
                                         I wanted to be an animator
                                         
                                         so I'm trying to draw Bart all the time.
                                         
    
                                         Is Bart fat or not?
                                         
                                         He has the same body type as every
                                         
                                         boy on The Simpsons for the most part.
                                         
                                         The Universal Simpsons pear shape.
                                         
                                         I'd never heard
                                         
                                         Homer acknowledge his own son as fat
                                         
                                         in the same episode.
                                         
                                         Near an episode, he's not that fat.
                                         
    
                                         His karate lessons episode pointed out he has got a giant stomach. Yeah.
                                         
                                         It's like jiggling while he's watching TV.
                                         
                                         I may have said this already now that I think of it.
                                         
                                         Now as an adult, the weight of the world crushed my spirits.
                                         
                                         It happened on mic live.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         We heard the spirits crushed out of him.
                                         
                                         He was crushing my spirit right now.
                                         
    
                                         It was very oxygen in the room.
                                         
                                         So about that line, it does feel like Jim Brooks was airlifted in to write that one sentence.
                                         
                                         It feels very Jim Brooks-y, but at the same time, it's true.
                                         
                                         It's not like I'm watching children, by the way.
                                         
                                         This is going to sound weird, but when I see kids having fun, I'm like, I wish I could have that much fun again.
                                         
                                         Yeah, no.
                                         
                                         I just have too much anxiety, too much adult shit happening in my brain that it's like i can't let myself be that free yeah no i was just feeling that i went to my first
                                         
                                         giants baseball game in a few years and seeing the kids there just enjoy it without any you know
                                         
    
                                         without any blocking on it or anything they're just like i'm just excited baseball is fun my
                                         
                                         body doesn't hurt at all yeah but also it reminded me i saw an onion
                                         
                                         article an onion headliners boy loses balloon begins lifelong struggle with depression like
                                         
                                         that taught me about loss it really did uh losing my first balloon oh i at the end of the montage
                                         
                                         of them building the thing too i did love that they they just leave maggie in the garage they're
                                         
                                         like all right let's do it and they just abandon a baby in the
                                         
                                         garage. I think I missed that.
                                         
                                         Because they took one of the wheels off her stroller for a little
                                         
    
                                         lightning, and she just sat
                                         
                                         there when they leave.
                                         
                                         Little lightning? I think you mean the Losermobile.
                                         
                                         Hey, you're not supposed to smoke in the pit
                                         
                                         area. Fine!
                                         
                                         Hey, Simpson!
                                         
                                         Where's your Losermobile?
                                         
                                         Losermobile.
                                         
    
                                         Wait a minute.
                                         
                                         It's over there, Nelson.
                                         
                                         Whoa.
                                         
                                         Talk about your pieces of crap.
                                         
                                         You know, Bart, I don't care who wins as long as one of us beats that guy.
                                         
                                         Same here.
                                         
                                         That whole bit was great.
                                         
                                         I think they have to reintroduce Nelson as a bully because he's not a regular on the show.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         And him putting out the cigarette on his tongue is a perfect like there in five seconds this kid is awful smoking a lot that's a great
                                         
                                         joke i do feel like this dynamic is kind of like an older simpsons dynamic which is like teaming
                                         
                                         up against nelson nelson would very much fall into the like the kind of like reluctant uh hangout
                                         
                                         friend you know that kind of comes along in adventures and i kind of like him more like that
                                         
                                         where it's like he's like the violent solution to the problem. You absolutely need a fourth.
                                         
                                         I mean, in the Shelbyville adventure, that's what I loved about him.
                                         
                                         Him with Martin and just begrudgingly, yes, we are friends here.
                                         
    
                                         Also, Martin sounded weird when he said, to those who doubt the space...
                                         
                                         It sounded too Minnie Mouse.
                                         
                                         Martin has the same voice as Minnie Mouse, and that one sounded way too mousy for him.
                                         
                                         Roosie Taylor.
                                         
                                         Roosie Taylor.
                                         
                                         Yeah, Roosie Taylor.
                                         
                                         Also, all the duck kids, the duck nephews.
                                         
                                         I know that talk about you pieces of crap.
                                         
    
                                         It wasn't even clever, just blunt.
                                         
                                         And then when they actually do the race, he literally has a whip.
                                         
                                         I love that.
                                         
                                         My lady and I just watched, we've been obsessed with older movies and
                                         
                                         watch ben-hur in its entirety and wow wow i don't know this that scene is actually like really great
                                         
                                         in the film a lot of horses died to make that scene so yeah it was worth it and like the guy
                                         
                                         charlton heston is fighting like yeah he gets thrown out and run over and murdered violently
                                         
                                         in like a way i'd like really a 1950s film depicted this like it
                                         
    
                                         was a really cool sequence Chris do you have a clip of Martin uh swearing and uh crashing at all
                                         
                                         okay I have to bring something up um before there were websites there were magazines right
                                         
                                         yeah and um I was subscribing to Simpsons Illustrated at this time before there were
                                         
                                         comment sections there were letter sections and there was a massive discussion in one episode of
                                         
                                         Simpsons Illustrated about Martin swearing in this episode whether it was right to have him swear because
                                         
                                         some people were like i don't think the voice of gonzo should be swearing i don't think it should
                                         
                                         be hearing this so it was like a huge discussion in the letter section about this quote which is
                                         
                                         deploy damn you deploy when he's trying to deploy the parachute when he's crashing so yeah it was
                                         
    
                                         totally innocuous to me this is is the only Bob kids will remember
                                         
                                         this kind of thing, but I think it should
                                         
                                         be stated that this is controversial in the Simpsons
                                         
                                         Illustrated community, this one line.
                                         
                                         Wow. Yeah, no, I mean
                                         
                                         there were occasionally, I guess by this point
                                         
                                         I was used to Bart swears,
                                         
                                         Nelson swears, Martin
                                         
    
                                         is a goody-goody, but he would
                                         
                                         I... But they're saying
                                         
                                         because it's a Disney character's voice. Yeah. So you're saying you know that. i but they're saying because because it's a disney character's voice
                                         
                                         yeah yeah so you're saying you know that so you're what you're saying is that you know this character
                                         
                                         isn't real so what you're saying i didn't follow the logic of a cognitive dissonance and you could
                                         
                                         the capacity for abstract thought and you don't really need to care about this i hate people the
                                         
                                         arguments were weird and they were weird 25 years ago so what you're really saying is like hey guys
                                         
                                         i noticed something,
                                         
    
                                         and I'm going to frame it in the form of a controversy. Should Gonzo be swearing?
                                         
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         So Martin.
                                         
                                         Yes, of course he should be.
                                         
                                         Fuck Kermit.
                                         
                                         I'm going to go fuck a chicken in like nine seconds.
                                         
                                         Watch out, Dave Goels.
                                         
                                         Martin crashed and was on fire, but he just had a stress fracture on his arm.
                                         
    
                                         That's pretty good for being set on fire and crashing at 100 miles an hour into a wall.
                                         
                                         I love the Martin performance here, especially him in the hospital.
                                         
                                         Hey, man, cool crash.
                                         
                                         Way to cheat death.
                                         
                                         Thanks, Bart.
                                         
                                         You had the best stick out there, man.
                                         
                                         I wish I could build him like you.
                                         
                                         That racer transformed me into the twisted creature you see before you.
                                         
    
                                         I'll never race again.
                                         
                                         If you don't race, then Nelson will win.
                                         
                                         Even if I wanted to, I'm in no shape
                                         
                                         to do it. Unless...
                                         
                                         Bart, will you drive
                                         
                                         my car? I don't know
                                         
                                         if I should do that. My dad and I built
                                         
                                         our car together, and if I drove someone else's,
                                         
    
                                         it'd kill him.
                                         
                                         On the other hand, I'll do it.
                                         
                                         I kind of like
                                         
                                         this Martin a little more. They would focus on
                                         
                                         making him girlier and that was a joke, but in these early
                                         
                                         episodes, he's a nerd who is consumed by
                                         
                                         his passions, fixated on what he wants
                                         
                                         to do. We saw that in when he was transforming
                                         
    
                                         Bart into a nerd.
                                         
                                         In that one episode of Bark It's Enough?
                                         
                                         Yeah, Bark It's Enough.
                                         
                                         Yeah, I think they maybe went a little
                                         
                                         too easy with the he's a feminine joke.
                                         
                                         But then again, by that point, they had Database to be like, well, Database is the real obsessive nerd.
                                         
                                         So Martin kind of has to be...
                                         
                                         The irredeemable nerd.
                                         
    
                                         Yes.
                                         
                                         So Martin has to be slightly gay instead.
                                         
                                         A nerd, but who also plays the lute.
                                         
                                         And is the queen of summer.
                                         
                                         King of summer.
                                         
                                         I think in a way i'm both
                                         
                                         as a kid i was both martin and database like dependent on the day i didn't want to bring it
                                         
                                         up i was i didn't want to bring it up but homer gets sad because bart abandoned the acting is so
                                         
    
                                         great in this scene we've got a lot of work to do in the car so i'm gonna pull you out of school
                                         
                                         for the next couple of weeks dad i don't know how to say this but i don't want to drive your car
                                         
                                         it's slow it's ugly it handles like a shopping cart.
                                         
                                         Bart, the car has a few bugs in it, I admit that, but we're Team Simpson.
                                         
                                         Dad, I love you, but you taught me to win.
                                         
                                         Why did I ever teach you that?
                                         
                                         Well, I picked it up somewhere.
                                         
                                         And if I drive Martin's car, I can win.
                                         
    
                                         I'm sorry, but...
                                         
                                         No, go ahead, leave me.
                                         
                                         Go on, go on and win. leave me Go on and win
                                         
                                         No go on and win without your dad
                                         
                                         I'll just sit here in Little Lightning
                                         
                                         Which the Simpsons built
                                         
                                         And remember that for one brief shining moment
                                         
                                         I had a son
                                         
    
                                         I remember doing this shit to my dad
                                         
                                         Homer needs to remember
                                         
                                         Dead Putting Society
                                         
                                         It is not okay to lose
                                         
                                         I don't know if that joke
                                         
                                         was a direct reference to that.
                                         
                                         I just loved the animation where he's like,
                                         
                                         no, no, no.
                                         
    
                                         That felt like a season seven level
                                         
                                         animation to me.
                                         
                                         There were little
                                         
                                         hand ticks and movements to it
                                         
                                         that were so specific for Homer there.
                                         
                                         I don't know if this was a Dead Putting Society
                                         
                                         reference, but like in that episode, him helping Bart
                                         
                                         and being engaged with Bart's life makes Bart's
                                         
    
                                         life worse. It makes the car
                                         
                                         worse. It makes him lose.
                                         
                                         It puts him in danger more
                                         
                                         than he was before.
                                         
                                         This is a scene, I think, that was cut from
                                         
                                         syndication for me
                                         
                                         because it's so brief.
                                         
                                         Oh, him with Lisa? Yeah, where Homer gets a chance
                                         
    
                                         to confront martin
                                         
                                         for uh and just yeah dr hebert lisa needs a you homewrecker mr simpson you have every right to be
                                         
                                         angry but rest assured your son loves you
                                         
                                         you certainly gave that boy the heebie-jeebies. Didn't he love that?
                                         
                                         That's not a joke.
                                         
                                         No.
                                         
                                         At all.
                                         
                                         He's terrified.
                                         
    
                                         And that's the end of the scene.
                                         
                                         The joke is that it's being treated as if, like,
                                         
                                         Bart is cheating on Homer with Martin.
                                         
                                         No, the Hibbert joke.
                                         
                                         Oh, okay.
                                         
                                         Well, the Hibbert joke is like,
                                         
                                         you certainly gave that boy the heebie-jeebies.
                                         
                                         I'm like, I guess Homer's reaction,
                                         
    
                                         you're the Simpsons.
                                         
                                         Every joke takes, like, nine months to happen,
                                         
                                         and that's what we left with?
                                         
                                         I think the joke is Hibbert's not taking it seriously.
                                         
                                         A man just comes into his office and screams at a child who runs away,
                                         
                                         and he's like, that's hilarious.
                                         
                                         This one's a real bummer for me because I'm confronting the idea of inevitably being a father
                                         
                                         juxtaposed with who I am and how I react to everything else,
                                         
    
                                         which is to sometimes give up, get sad, and recoil.
                                         
                                         And I never had this much sympathy for Homer until right now,
                                         
                                         but this is how I react to things.
                                         
                                         I've always said you were a good father.
                                         
                                         I've always defended you when people put you down.
                                         
                                         That's for sure.
                                         
                                         She ain't lying.
                                         
                                         But I guess I was wrong.
                                         
    
                                         You are a bad father
                                         
                                         Leave me alone
                                         
                                         Just turn away
                                         
                                         He just turns away from Marge
                                         
                                         We've got your foam dome
                                         
                                         We got your hat out of the fridge
                                         
                                         That was such a great line
                                         
                                         Thank God Homer retakes the fatherhood test.
                                         
    
                                         I love this clip.
                                         
                                         It is long.
                                         
                                         Name your son's hobbies.
                                         
                                         Building a soapbox racer.
                                         
                                         Name one of your child's friends.
                                         
                                         Martin.
                                         
                                         Martin!
                                         
                                         I'll curse that name until the day I die!
                                         
    
                                         Huh?
                                         
                                         Who is your son's hero?
                                         
                                         Three-time soapbox derby champion ronnie beck oh i'm one question
                                         
                                         away from being a perfect father name another dad you talk to about parenting oh flanders
                                         
                                         flanders flanders um uh when should a boy start dating well sir there are two schools of thought
                                         
                                         on this great Great, thanks!
                                         
                                         We've not seen Flanders in a while. I like how he showed up here for a second.
                                         
                                         Yeah, the way it was framed
                                         
    
                                         with the window, like, Flanders showing up.
                                         
                                         That clip is truncated.
                                         
                                         Again, we encourage you guys to always
                                         
                                         watch these episodes before, afterwards,
                                         
                                         any fucking time. They're great.
                                         
                                         You know, you talk about the
                                         
                                         Dead Putting Society connection.
                                         
                                         The whole setting up of the race and the same announcer, it is all connected to Dead Putting Society.
                                         
    
                                         It is in the show.
                                         
                                         So those announcers were at the golf game.
                                         
                                         One thing before after that and then this.
                                         
                                         What was that second thing?
                                         
                                         I forget.
                                         
                                         Was it wrestling?
                                         
                                         It was wrestling, right?
                                         
                                         Yeah, he was the announcer for wrestling in the Truckasaurus episode.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah, but I think it was a very intentional callback.
                                         
                                         So all this mini-golf stuff,
                                         
                                         maybe it does connect to how
                                         
                                         Homer and they were referencing
                                         
                                         the stuff from that one.
                                         
                                         I also like that Springfield as a whole,
                                         
                                         it implies it treats everything children
                                         
                                         do as seriously as
                                         
    
                                         the Olympic Games.
                                         
                                         Even though only three children are partaking in this sport.
                                         
                                         Every single time.
                                         
                                         And then Quimby is a womanizer again.
                                         
                                         Is that our first Quimby is a womanizer joke?
                                         
                                         It might be.
                                         
                                         It might be.
                                         
                                         Is Quimby a womanizer or is he just a Kennedy?
                                         
    
                                         A default Kennedy.
                                         
                                         It's a Kennedy-esque womanizer.
                                         
                                         It's a Kennedy trait, I would say.
                                         
                                         And so I love the animation
                                         
                                         of the shot of Homer in the stands.
                                         
                                         So good. I captured a ton of them just for the fuck of it.
                                         
                                         When he's like, do it for your old man.
                                         
                                         Is that the stand?
                                         
    
                                         Do it for your old man, boy.
                                         
                                         And that is a reference to The Natural,
                                         
                                         though we'd get a whole more references to The Natural later in the season.
                                         
                                         They love parodying that movie.
                                         
                                         But it's also music they can use because Fox owns it.
                                         
                                         That's right.
                                         
                                         They reference it all the time.
                                         
                                         That's why they use the Batman theme a lot, right?
                                         
    
                                         Yep, same deal.
                                         
                                         They don't own the Spider-Man theme,
                                         
                                         so when they did Spider-Pig, they had to pay that guy.
                                         
                                         Love this clip from being on Team Prince.
                                         
                                         Bart, if she breaks up on you,
                                         
                                         steer away from the grandstands
                                         
                                         or else you might kill hundreds of innocent spectators.
                                         
                                         Bart, what did I just tell you?
                                         
    
                                         Kill spectators.
                                         
                                         What is the matter with you?
                                         
                                         It's my dad.
                                         
                                         Lying there on the couch
                                         
                                         drinking a beer, staring at the
                                         
                                         TV. I've never seen him like that.
                                         
                                         Don't give up on your father!
                                         
                                         You're dragging for me now!
                                         
    
                                         Ooh. Slaps him twice.
                                         
                                         Those are hard slaps, too.
                                         
                                         Bart is not reacting to it much.
                                         
                                         He also has to backhand him because one arm's
                                         
                                         in a sling. Oh, yeah.
                                         
                                         It's good animation.
                                         
                                         Chris here, no slaps. bassy means it hurt i i like that like a bone i like the animation
                                         
                                         they erase like i think it was done you can do feel the kind of speed and i like how i really
                                         
    
                                         like the detail of nelson chewing on the bits of the car flying yeah like the shrapnels that was
                                         
                                         awesome yeah and the uh speedometer peeling off.
                                         
                                         Like, all those sequences are just beautiful.
                                         
                                         They're not, like, great Simpsons jokes.
                                         
                                         It's just awesome animation.
                                         
                                         Like, everything a cartoon should be.
                                         
                                         And, again, my only complaint about modern Simpsons is that it doesn't act like a cartoon ever at all.
                                         
                                         It's just, like, it's a stage sitcom.
                                         
    
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         With how it's portrayed, like, in terms of camera angles and animation, yeah.
                                         
                                         As a kid, I remember really chuckling at the reveal of Ronnie Beck being somebody seemingly younger than Bart.
                                         
                                         That was great.
                                         
                                         That was so great, because I call that like a lost Simpsons joke, because it's too subtle.
                                         
                                         Because the way Ronnie Beck is smaller and younger than Bart and still his hero,
                                         
                                         yet refers back to his glory days having seemingly retired as if this was eons ago.
                                         
                                         It is funny how Ronnie Beck was giving kids advice
                                         
    
                                         to steal from construction sites to build their racers.
                                         
                                         Yeah.
                                         
                                         Now I never thought about that.
                                         
                                         It seems much weirder that that seven-year-old
                                         
                                         is telling people to steal stuff.
                                         
                                         Did anybody else steal from construction sites
                                         
                                         to make things to ride on?
                                         
                                         I made scooters out of...
                                         
    
                                         I stole a PVC pipe once just to pretend they were lightsabers and hit each other with it. Anybody else steal from construction sites to make things to ride on? I made scooters out of solar.
                                         
                                         I stole a PVC pipe once just to pretend they were lightsabers and hit each other with it.
                                         
                                         We were the third house in our neighborhood, so I stole from it.
                                         
                                         Everything was built in my neck of the woods.
                                         
                                         I destroyed so many construction sites all the time.
                                         
                                         And then I do love the line, as a kid I didn't get it, but the line of the driver is essentially ballast.
                                         
                                         It's a good point.
                                         
                                         They go down a hill in a straight line.
                                         
    
                                         With no turns, yeah.
                                         
                                         A human just needs to be in it.
                                         
                                         I think I don't know the definition of the word ballast.
                                         
                                         It's a science term.
                                         
                                         It's just meaning that it can exist or not.
                                         
                                         It has no bearing on the outcome of an experiment.
                                         
                                         That's basically what ballast means.
                                         
                                         Correct me if I'm wrong.
                                         
    
                                         I'm sure you will.
                                         
                                         It's about ethics in Simpsons Journal.
                                         
                                         Bart and Homer are not graceful winners in this episode.
                                         
                                         Oh, I love this one.
                                         
                                         Thanks, Nelson.
                                         
                                         Put her there.
                                         
                                         Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
                                         
                                         Loser.
                                         
    
                                         Na, na, na, na, na.
                                         
                                         Bart, you know there is such a thing as being a bad winner.
                                         
                                         Mom, I never won before.
                                         
                                         I may never win again.
                                         
                                         Na, na, na, na, na.
                                         
                                         That's my boy.
                                         
                                         Na, na, na, na, na. Na, na, na, na, na. Na-na-na-na-na. That's my boy. Na-na-na-na-na.
                                         
                                         Na-na-na-na-na.
                                         
    
                                         Na-na-na-na-na.
                                         
                                         I love the last shot where the Fatherhood Institute is looking on
                                         
                                         NASA at Mission Control. They have video
                                         
                                         of the Simpsons and they're hugging each other
                                         
                                         and confetti's falling down.
                                         
                                         It's a beautiful way to end the episode.
                                         
                                         Yet another licensed song.
                                         
                                         In an episode with like four licensed songs.
                                         
    
                                         I think it's like four.
                                         
                                         Four or five.
                                         
                                         This one is a cover, though.
                                         
                                         Oh, it is?
                                         
                                         It is a cover, but still they got a pin.
                                         
                                         Watching Scotty grow was the real one.
                                         
                                         This is actually just a cover.
                                         
                                         Well, and Cats in the Cradle.
                                         
    
                                         That was the original too.
                                         
                                         Yeah, that was the original.
                                         
                                         You're right.
                                         
                                         So much music in this.
                                         
                                         That's why I think in a couple episodes bart's going to sing uh the teddy bear
                                         
                                         picnic song which is very public domain yeah and i wonder if it's because after this episode like
                                         
                                         we did too many of these we got no budget we bought a beetle song two episodes ago yeah exactly
                                         
                                         yeah i did say this episode was softer but i think it's more that it taps into an older dynamics the
                                         
    
                                         show is kind of shedding right now um it's not it's not as fast it's kind of moving a lot slower uh it's still very family-based not no burns at all yeah they you'd see the you know they they're
                                         
                                         watching tv a lot that was also something gene and reese say it says was uh indicative of their
                                         
                                         run on the show of characters just watching tv it was just like or opening with a parody yeah
                                         
                                         opening with a parody opening with homer watching, and like, why have a scene between characters
                                         
                                         when you can just have a television sketch?
                                         
                                         I know I was instantly laughing every time they did that.
                                         
                                         Exactly.
                                         
                                         I'm glad they had that instead of like starting with Homer.
                                         
    
                                         I also, I didn't mention it at the start, but I loved it.
                                         
                                         Do it just one more time.
                                         
                                         But, hi, how can I make it lower than $39.95?
                                         
                                         Find a way. Find a95? Find a way.
                                         
                                         Find a way.
                                         
                                         Find a way.
                                         
                                         I did love the little detail when Homer drops the sugar cubes,
                                         
                                         the terrible sugar cubes, in his drink.
                                         
    
                                         He stirs it with the thing he grabbed the sugar cubes with.
                                         
                                         That was a little...
                                         
                                         You meant that the sugar cubes were shitty.
                                         
                                         Also that they looked like shit.
                                         
                                         Mr. Sugar Cube.
                                         
                                         I had a girlfriend who would order every kitchen
                                         
                                         product that was advertised on television.
                                         
                                         It works once. It's unwashable.
                                         
    
                                         Unfixable.
                                         
                                         And never works again.
                                         
                                         The shitty sugar cubes are perfectly
                                         
                                         emblematic. God. I remember
                                         
                                         watching many, many times
                                         
                                         an infomercial for a food dehydrator and I was like
                                         
                                         this is the coolest thing. Why don't my parents buy one of these?
                                         
                                         I think I watched that infomercial maybe 20 maybe 20 times i mean there was nothing happening in
                                         
    
                                         the early 90s people i can't stress that enough i remember one of my favorites was a vacuum packing
                                         
                                         your food thing of like yes food all goes bad but with this vacuum sealer it seal it seals it all i
                                         
                                         remember being wildly irritated on nickelodeon for like a year it seemed like they only had one
                                         
                                         sponsor and that was sola flex yeah yeah it's like's like, I'm a child, I need to
                                         
                                         work out. Yeah, seriously.
                                         
                                         For low payments of $99
                                         
                                         every month.
                                         
                                         That is way bigger than my allowance in 1991.
                                         
    
                                         I need to blast my quads during my A to B.
                                         
                                         And then one time on a Sunday afternoon,
                                         
                                         it's another Soloflex commercial and then
                                         
                                         it didn't stop. It didn't stop.
                                         
                                         It keeps going.
                                         
                                         It should be over by now.
                                         
                                         I'm positive it should be over by now.
                                         
                                         This has been like 10 minutes,
                                         
    
                                         and I didn't know what it was.
                                         
                                         That was my introduction to the infomercial.
                                         
                                         Nickelodeon in the middle of the day
                                         
                                         just played a Soloflex infomercial
                                         
                                         in the midst of all this other Soloflex shit.
                                         
                                         Now I think TV is just infomercials.
                                         
                                         Not really,
                                         
                                         but watch TV on a Saturday on a network.
                                         
    
                                         You're just seeing an infomercial or boring space. I've been pointing this out
                                         
                                         other places, and there are people who've done it a lot
                                         
                                         better than me, but I love pointing out that
                                         
                                         Cinnabon. You've never ever in your life
                                         
                                         seen an advertisement for Cinnabon. I was going to mention
                                         
                                         this. Go on YouTube and search Cinnabon
                                         
                                         ads. Cinnabon has inserted itself into
                                         
                                         everything you've ever seen
                                         
    
                                         as an ad, but it's Julia
                                         
                                         Louise Dreyfuss recommending it, or Adam Sandler
                                         
                                         or Jerry Seinfeld as a fucking bee,
                                         
                                         or Bob Odenkirk as Saul
                                         
                                         making them.
                                         
                                         They've never had a commercial.
                                         
                                         They're advertised all the time.
                                         
                                         I was going to say, I thought infomercials just evolved into Adam Sandler
                                         
    
                                         movies.
                                         
                                         British Popeye's chicken is fat and sweet.
                                         
                                         Dick's sporting goods is sweet.
                                         
                                         You spit everywhere when you do that impression. I'm sorry.
                                         
                                         You've got to stand well on the table.
                                         
                                         That's okay. I want Adam Sandler impressions
                                         
                                         to become the new Bill Cosby impression because
                                         
                                         he has not done anything offensive yet outside of making
                                         
    
                                         five horrible movies. Six, seven maybe.
                                         
                                         Beyond his bad movies and
                                         
                                         hiring his friends all the time.
                                         
                                         In a way, that's good. He keeps
                                         
                                         giving his friends money. I know. I'm jealous.
                                         
                                         But his personal hygiene is above reproach.
                                         
                                         And we'll end on that, everybody.
                                         
                                         Thanks for listening.
                                         
    
                                         I've been your host, Bob Mack.
                                         
                                         You can find me on Twitter as Bob Serbo.
                                         
                                         I also host the classic gaming podcast, Retronauts.
                                         
                                         All these guys have been on it.
                                         
                                         I think it's pretty good.
                                         
                                         You can find that at retronauts.com or go to usgamer.net
                                         
                                         or you can look up Retronauts in your podcast machine.
                                         
                                         Everybody else, what do you do?
                                         
    
                                         Please listen to more Lazer Time and Lazer Time related
                                         
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                                         a lot of videos. I did something
                                         
                                         that most people do not give a shit about
                                         
    
                                         but it was one of the most fun videos I made.
                                         
                                         Eight stupid things Superman
                                         
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                                         If you're a decent, even a light comic book nerd,
                                         
                                         watching Superman die and climb ladders throughout the first 20 years of his video game history
                                         
                                         is always hilarious to me.
                                         
                                         I like watching him use mass transit, personally.
                                         
                                         Yes, that was great.
                                         
    
                                         Riding the subway.
                                         
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                                         We'll be back next week with Flaming Moes.
                                         
                                         It's a great one.
                                         
    
                                         See you then.
                                         
                                         Wow.
                                         
                                         Infotainment.
                                         
