Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Secrets of a Successful Marriage

Episode Date: July 26, 2017

We finish up season 5 with Homer putting his marriage into jeopardy. After learning that Lenny can teach a glass, Homer tells his class the secrets of weeding even as Marge tells him to keep things private. We deconstruct all that and more in this week's podcast.

This week's episode of Talking Simpsons is brought to you by you. That's right, we're on Patreon now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons. For as little as $5 a month, you can help our show and get all kinds of great extra content on top of that. We've got a ton of great bonus content waiting for you right now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons today. I heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, ahoy, everybody, and welcome to TalkingSimpsons, where we offer you our complete and utter dependence. I am your host, Bob Mackie, and I'm choking on my own rage here. And this is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons.

Who else is here with me today as always? Henry Gilbert, just washing my undies. And who else? Flesh mother, Chris Anteester. And today's episode is Secrets of a Successful Marriage. Just eat the damn oranges! Double duty for Grandpa. I think the opening sound should only be Grandpa.

Yeah, I'll take it. I prefer, what smells? And today's episode aired on May 19th, 1994. And as always, Chris will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real world history. Oh my God! I want a divorce, Bobby! Jodie Foster and Mel Gibson make for a new impossible romantic pairing in the big-screen remake of Maverick. MTV's Jon Stewart is being eyed to replace Arsenio Hall, and Roseanne and Coach are the only shows that have what it takes to beat Terminator 2 in the television ratings.

Really? Terminator 2 was on the air in 1994. Just two years after. World premiere network event. It's one of those things where they would save the premiere of a movie for the summer of just like, well, instead of going to see this brand new movie, why don't you see two years ago's movie on TV

for free without any of the blood? It'd only take three hours to watch. I mean, you joke now, but when was the last time? We just constantly wait for things to show up on Netflix. They do in less than two years. Maverick is a fun movie, by the way. It's fantastic. It's really good.

It does imply Jodie Foster fucked both Mel Gibson and James Garner. Yeah, and their penises are similar, as she would say. In hindsight, it's real bizarre. I have to bring this up. There's actually a great Duckman joke about Maverick where Ajax has Maverick action figures and they sort of play with them. It's a good movie. It's so fun.

It's fine. So today's episode is the season finale of season five. It's an odd season finale for a reason. We'll get into that in the next episode of Talking Simpsons, but this was not the intended season finale. It's a fine episode, but I really wish it was sweet sweet seymour skinner's badass uh song it's a really low-key super grounded finale with no crazy uh captain wacky antics just like a marital issue at the center and homer uh being estranged from marge i think this what why i like this as a season finale is that if this was just any old episode you would absolutely not think they'd be

divorced but this was at the time of event season finales are starting up like mad about you would be like well is this are they getting a divorce this season finale the friends would do that too it was getting popular so it at least added more gravitas to this story that is undercut at the end of the episode when it's revealed over how long this has taken place. But you're right. In hindsight, we all did. We talked about it in the One Fish, Two Fish. We thought, yeah, they might kill the lead character.

The show's doing a bunch of stuff that TV hasn't done before. And I thought of this episode a lot, actually, during the season finale of The Sopranos where it looked like Tony and Carmelo were going to be uh divorced forever and you'll get nothing yeah one of the best powerful moments in the entire series of sopranos when he's arguing with carm and he is about to punch her and instead he punches through

the wall it's like it's terrifying i'm just like she doesn't flinch though yeah it's terrifying. I'm just like. She doesn't flinch, though. Yeah. Love that show. It's so great. Both of those actors, they should earn some awards and some accolades for being so good in The Sopranos. I still want to remind people that James Gendolfini's dead. This is all you get of me. Go watch The Sopranos. It's really good. He's at the big Olive Garden in heaven.

Or hell. Who knows? I'm going to say heaven. Yes. I want to talk about two other things. Sorry, Henry. Greg Daniels' first credited episode. No shit.

Please continue. What else has he done? Well, Greg Daniels would go on. He would work on this season, season six, and some of season seven of The Simpsons before co-creating King of the Hill with Mike Judge. And then he would graduate from that into adapting The Office for America. And now he is just like a lord of television production. But this was his last non-executive producer job he had been he'd been a long time writer uh actually he wrote the homer

and apu episode too oh you're right i'm sorry i forgot about that one uh this one i do love and want to bring up greg daniels for because if you change 10 of this episode it is a king of the hill episode you're right it is very similar like homer episode. You're right. It is very similar. Homer living in that treehouse, Bill Dautreve would be doing that exact same thing. Oh my god, I made the connection just now. Mo is Bill Dautreve in this episode.

Hiding after Marge, being afraid of Homer, and having a secret lust for Marge. And the scene of Milhouse and Bart coming upon Homer in the treehouse and getting scared, you can put Joseph and Bobby in that scene, and it is the same scene. They would react the same way. Stopping crash days.

So I see a lot of King of the Hill in this episode, and it's low stakes, very little Captain Wacky stuff, and just about domestic strife that comes from a real world situation. But a fairly typical sitcom premise. Oh yes. Which I don't bash anymore because I've been a podcasting officially for 10 years and my first year with a girlfriend we went through this exact thing.

Someone on Twitter said I revealed something that was private and I was like this is too cliched an argument to have i'm not doing it or or or giving into your point and things got way worse and i saw that's the only reason i won't bash this cliche this shit happened to me it's it's probably easy for professional comedy writers who have put their real life into stuff all the time why are you making fun of us uncle joey well louis ck had tons of jokes about that he joked about how after

he joked about his wife when they were married and then after the divorce he mentioned that one of her problems was of just like you're just gonna joke about this like you just or there's an episode of dream on that's really funny too where he's dating a comedian who uh would play chandler bing's regular girlfriend on the old show. But anyway, this episode, though, is hard for me to watch, too, just of how it shows the dysfunctional relationship between your parents, and that's hard. It gets me in a certain way, and also, I'll go into it more,

but I really feel that Homer's redemption is slightly unearned. I think it just underlines how bad the marriage is. So we have to give one final tip of the hat to Carlos Baeza. This is his last Simpsons episode. He started with Lisa's Pony and he directed the following episodes. Radio Bart, Bart the Lover, Treehouse of Horror 3, Summoner's Choice, The Last Temptation

of Homer, and Deep Space Homer. These are all some of my favorites. One of the best directors, the most unsung directors of the Simpsons, and this episode looks great despite how down to earth it is and not he's not homer's not in space anymore he's in the classroom but still great work by biaza and it's it's so unfortunate that he is never on any of the commentaries because i believe he not just left la but left america i think he went back to cuba yeah, so he's not reachable, but I'd love to hear his side of it. Like, yeah, he is really

underrated as a person. I think he was really good with action. Yeah, there's a certain look to his characters that I can't describe with words, but I could tell if it's one of his scenes or one of his episodes. There's just like a certain roundedness, a certain look to the faces. Yeah, I miss Carlos, and

please come back. It's easy to come back from Cuba, isn't it? faces. Yeah, I miss Carlos. Please come back. It's easy to come back from Cuba, isn't it? Oh, yeah, they love us. Well, so the episode starts. This is kind of a long clip, but it's because the slow pace of it is what's so funny. This would totally be in King of the Hill of the friends playing poker together and poker nights. I love it.

Don't try to eat these so-called chips. Do you want another card or not? Oh, okay. I'll take three. Don't! Don't! Don't! I mean... I'm in. Let's see your cards. Oh, I was bluffing. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Come to papa! Wait a minute. You have a straight flush, Homer. Go! You do this every time! Choking on my own rage here. Hey, don't yell at Homer. Just because he's a little slow. Something was said. Not good. What was it? Don't yell at Homer!

No, that's okay. What was it? Slow? They call you slow! How dare you call me that hey homie you still here boy you are slow something said not good get the hell out of here and just to make it seem more like a traditional sitcom this is like one of the only minute long scenes in the simpsons yeah it takes place over several hours. It's a nice nighttime scene lit really well. There's shadows on all the characters' faces because when it's happening

you can definitely tell Tobias is a joint. I'm holding out for a car hole reference that never comes. Well, this did upgrade Moe to After Hours Hangout for Homer. Normally it was just, he'd only see him at the bar. Moe was rarely seen outside the bar.

I even forgot Barney was in this scene because he just passes out immediately. Oh, right. And but yeah, something was said. Not good. Like that Homer's that slow and that they just all walked away while it was more. Was it more like Homer was just blacking out while thinking? Just like I think he was just I mean, it's another one of those things where a character has an inner monologue or character is daydreaming but things are happening in real time and they cut back to what happens after the character experiences that and no one is there people are looking at him funny it's a very season five thing and that is

also how i play poker well with a few times i've ever played poker with friends of just like i accidentally win or i'm just like somebody has to tell me no that's a good combination like oh i thought those numbers to me this is infuriating i know well i everything you learn about poker is to force namby pambys like you out so you can't limp in as they say something that wins in the last card but see i'm too stupid to know i was too stupid in poker to know how to do it that was one of my favorite times was playing against a guy who was like seriously it just read like five poker books and he'd watch too many of those like poker competitions and so he's like well i'm just gonna edge here and do this i was like this is so boring to play poker this way when there's no money like just just have fun with poker must it be a machine all the time with you guys this also showed us the inside of lenny's

house before we see the um please don't tell anyone how i live yeah season eight i think it could have been a different house i don't know if they kept this consistent but we saw that in a shave up stupid in uh march on the lamb when homer calls lenny that's true now lenny's single i guess that girl that woman is gone from his life i also like the lenny there's no reason lenny should have a night cap on yeah he does when he tells homer to leave like he just sleeps with the nightcap i think it's to signify how much later it's gotten in the night like lenny's in his sleeping gear he changed into his sleeping gear put on his nightcap and is now getting a drink and still homer's just there just trapped then when homer's trying to ask all family like, like, I'm not slow, right? I like that even Bart is trying to be nice.

Very sweet. You're not slow, you're my dad. Exactly. In other episodes, Bart would have just been like, you're the stupidest idiot ever. And then Homer would strangle him, but they were all trying to save his emotions. Then the way Marge also tells him, like, it's not like you read books. She's trying not to hurt Homer's feelings, but also not lie to him completely. Giving him a path to become smart is like, there are things you can do if you want to not be called slow, Homer.

It's nice Marge being supportive, you know. And that also felt like such a TV writer thing of Homer screaming about, like, these TV shows are just, they're all too great. I can never turn away. If only they stumbled once. Just 30 minutes to ourselves. Yes. But then Homer comes to grips with how unlearned he is. I am slow. Oh, if you feel so bad about

yourself, there's always things you can do to feel better. Take another bath in malt liquor. There's that. Or you can take an adult education course. Oh, and how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some

old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course and I forgot how to drive? That's because you were drunk. And how. He knew the entire time. Also, taking a bath in malt liquor does not sound fun unless you're butt-chugging the entire tub or something. I mean, just

soaking it in through your skin, even if... Would that get you drunk? Like, absorbing alcohol through your skin? I don't think so. I got the idea. It couldn't have been two alcoholic jokes in a row. This is some kind of home remedy for an alien skunk. I think it is just these 30 seconds like homer has a major drinking problem for these jokes to work it's just it's just crazy

and then marge when the whole episode is about their marriage this is marge just completely excusing like you know don't do that instead of saying like homer you haven't you have a total alcohol problem here she's still telling around a lot of issues so far in these first five minutes. Yeah. And then Homer arrives at the adult education place and we get a few pretty good jokes. I like the Selma and Patty and Selma trying to tell people how to get a man when Patty isn't even into it. I guess she's doing it to support Selma, I suppose. And we have the funk dancing for self-defense.

You just give them one of these. It's important everybody know where that's from i see that used in so many simpson shit posts and me yeah and like the most famous one uh that i remember from months ago is the persona 5 one it's so great if you don't play video games persona 5 was this brand new one rpg i loved it but hyper japanese so combining it with a simpsons reference makes it even better and so they put on the you'll never see menu over over mo and then when he's dancing they're playing you never see it coming and they actually time it that these three gunshots hit with the beat of the song and in the turn-based battles of persona 5 you do have a gun attack have a gun somebody has a shotgun it makes. Somebody has a shotgun. It makes sense.

It's perfect. It's perfect. Say some gangster is dissing your fly girl. Just give him one of these. You'll never see it coming. You'll see that my mind is the back of the back. Then the chewing tobacco room. My dad chewed tobacco when I was a kid, and it disgusts me.

It disgusts me to this day, and this scene is disgusting. I think they made it that way on purpose, because they just show Lenny and Carl smoking, so they're not unglamorizing tobacco necessarily. So this is just a hatred of chew. I'm from the South. I tried it briefly during my redneck phase. It got you super buzzed. If you swallowed even a bit of it, you want to throw up disgusting i've been witness to the chaw cup like a dixie cup with a napkin in it you put the napkin

in so people know that's not your drink oh no one was courteous enough to do that at my high school wow because yeah there were incidents of people drinking someone's chaw glass drinking rum and yeah right it's bad look at that so i will not tell any stories like that, Henry. But the scene is so gross. It's like dripping out of their mouths with the loudest chewing ever. It's really disgusting. That I then drank, Henry. In high school, there was a brief fascination with chewing because you could absorb tobacco without teachers knowing secretly. But there was a strange subculture of like, you could turn that into a spitter.

You could turn that into a spitter. Yes. Oh, my God. You're right. Where you left your tobacco leavings was called a spitter. It's like, you could turn that into a spitter. You could turn that into a spitter. Yes. Oh my God, you're right. Where you left your tobacco leavings was called a spitter. It's like, yes, any container is a spitter. Let's get on with our lives. The whole planet is a spitter. Move.

Yeah. Now, my dad finally quitted in my early teens, but then he was just like occasional cigar guy, which was really like- Is he a red man man? No, he just likes fancy cigars and so he'll just like basically it started as like oh i guess he just has one cigar a day and then it turned into like well i'm just gonna get a couple puffs like you smoke like if these were cigarettes you'd

be smoking a pack a day like five cigarettes at once no obviously cigars aren't as bad for you as as cigarettes i am told i guess no they're much worse for you, but it's kind of impossible to... People who form habits out of cigars are pretty much just gangsters. You can't smoke a whole cigar in one sitting, and if you can, you've got huge problems. That's a lot of stuff to burn through.

It is. Well, I mean, Pinocchio smokes it down all the time. It's true. Him and Lampwick. That guy was a bad influence. I never cared for him. I'm glad he's a donkey. As disgusting as the chewing tobacco scenes are, I do like how the empty-headed

chewing and staring they do at Lenny is so funny. There's like... All the sounds of people. The wet smacking. I grew up in the South

and you can remember that fucking smell. It makes me sick. Not Henry sick, but I hate it. I hate it. It's the worst form of eating tobacco. But after watching Lenny teach a class, Homer has a realization.

If he can teach a class, he can teach a class. I mean, I can teach a class. What is your area of expertise? Well, I can tell the difference between butter and I can't believe it's not butter. No, you can't, Mr. Simpson. No one can. Oh, I failed again. Everybody can teach a class

but me. I'm an idiot. What am I going to tell my wife and kids? Oh, you're married? That depends. Is there another way to get this job? No, Mr. Simpson. What I mean is, we may have a job for you after all. We need someone to teach a course on how to build a successful marriage.

I'll do it. Anything to get me out of that house, away from all that nagging and noise of a family of love. Sha-la-la-la. Okay, so... You want to do that reference first? So let's do the reference first. That's the reference to the Family Ties song,

and I have it actually... The clip is cued up to the exact part Homer sings. What would we do, baby, without us? Sha-la-la-la. The exact part Homer sings. What'll we do, baby, without us? I'm so glad you got that because of course I was pretty sure it was from Family Ties, but it's only from a specific season or two. They changed the theme song

a little bit. I mean, the theme song changes, but they always have the... They took it out for like the seventh and it's not in the first. Oh, seven seasons! Dear God. I mean, the theme song changes, but they always have the... They took it out for like the seventh, and it's not in the first. Seven seasons! Dear God. I know. I know. You've only had Marty McFly for so long. Also in the scene, I believe, based on how it's animated, none of the lines they're saying are the original lines.

It is the most 80-yard scene in season five, probably. Well, the middle part where Homer solicits the Dean, that animation, I think, was the same. That was dead on. And I love that Homer would he's like, Homer would have had sex with him to get that position. But yes, I can't believe it's not Butter.

That's kind of a really cliched 90s sitcom joke. I don't love it. I mean, they even changed Lionel Hutz's law firm from I can't believe it's a law firm to something else. Lionel Hutz shoe repair. Being the chief editor of Simpsons Foods totally exists. And it's just margarine.

Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. It's sort of like if I had milk and called it, I can't believe it's not water. I guess the campaign for it at the time was, no, margarine tastes like butter. Not really. Margarine's more healthy for you. They're all bad for you. Unless you're a baby calf, this is going to be bad.

One's oil, one's butter. So either way, it's bad, and I love it. Moderation is key, folks. I forgot about this, that I went to an adult education facility, and none of this resonates because I went as a student. It's where you go to get a GED or when you're kicked out of a bunch of schools. I see. But it's a very weird classroom setting of people within 10 years of my age,

being around 18 at that point. Just all over the place. People trying to get their GED. People have been in jail. People have been kicked out of schools. That was me. I've considered doing, I mean, the closest thing to do it,

I did do two semesters of Japanese class at basically one of these things, but at a place in San Francisco that only teaches Japanese. It's a job. Soko Gakuen. My girlfriend isn't even taking a swim class from one of these programs. It's an easy way to enrich yourself, and it's nice, too, to go to classes and not have to.

In my mind, I was just thinking, like, oh, God, is this the right credits? Oh, wait, no. This is not credits or nothing. It's just to experience it. You have to pay by the class or it's completely free. And it's like $100 a class. And, yeah, in Homer's brain all the time is every sitcom theme or whatever. So it's easy for him to just pull from it.

I checked Growing Pains first. I did. I'll admit it. But it might have been Growing Pains. Much less 70s theme song, Growing Pains. You got Alan Thicke to thank for that. And yeah, then Homer gets the job, and he is so proud of himself. I love this line.

Look, everyone. Now that I'm a teacher, I've sewed patches on my elbows. Homer, that's supposed to be leather patches on a tweed blazer, not the other way around. You've ruined a perfectly good jacket. Oh, incorrect, Marge. Two perfectly good jackets. I love the structure of that joke because I get it, and I don't get it at all.

I don't understand the reference. I've never seen a human being with that look. The old professorial look was having leather patches on your elbows. Why? Because you rest on your elbows a lot and you're putting less pressure on your elbows than just right through the tweed. But everybody with the desk job is doing that.

Well, it's also an implication of that you don't have the money to own more suits. So it's just like, well, these professors, they don't make a ton of money. They got to make their suit last a long time. So they make their busiest joint where their tweed suit would wear out. I still think it's based on an ancient stereotype that nobody under 20 would get now.

I mean, I'm sure it happens in the paper chase, but not afterwards. That I got. Thank you. I don't think I ever had a teacher with leather elbow patches. But yes, in any sitcom back then, they'd all have leather elbow patches but yes in any in any sitcom back then they'd all have a leather elbow patches it would be a guy with balding hair and a ponytail just like well class what did hawthorne mean yeah it's sort of like the signifier for a nerd would be the pocket protector in the thick glasses that's a signifier for a professor the leather patches on the tweed jacket but what annoys me is that

the next scene when homer leaves he's got a proper blazer on he didn't wear the leather jacket with the tweed patches to his class well and then he would get but he does have the elbow patches yeah that new suit so i guess proper patches march made him change or something i would guess if this episode is about the codependency of their relationship march march simply just made him a new suit she's like i'll fix it she's a seamstress you're right yeah so she she probably just made it correctly for him. But then Homer, out of all places to get tweed, Homer cut it out of the back of his jacket. Not even the elbows off of another tweed jacket. He's like, no, for the tail. He did a bad job of cutting.

If you look at the tatters it's in. And Lisa confusing Homer with a question. That was such like a season two joke there. Stampy's an elephant. Dead. He's a teacher yeah and uh did you notice ned is wearing a weird outfit when homer knocks on his door i forgot about that he never it's i guess it's like his loungewear outfit but i've never seen him wear that since yeah homer is going uh to tell everyone he's a teacher he's so proud of himself he tells flanders he tells the crusty burger uh order box it's a felony to tease the order box and then him brushing through the red light and i like that it was hoover who's like i

didn't know we could do that and she does like hoover never gets to have jokes like that it was it was nice for her i and i think they probably just did it because they're like well edna's gonna be in his class so we can't have karabop we'll do it either and skinner wouldn't do it so who's the third character from the school who'd have a car i guess it's i guess it's hoover so the one thing about homer's class it's called the title of the episode secrets to a successful marriage there aren't enough married people in springfield so most of the people in the class are single or unmarried and they they kind of invent a wife for carl has one line but we don't know her name. That's true. Yeah, I forgot that definitely she does not exist.

So she doesn't say, I'm married to you or anything. It's just implied that they are. Let's assume Carl is his last name, so it's Mrs. Carl. His real name is Carl Carlson. Carlson. But yeah, you're right. It's more divorced people. It's really about the class, instead of being for married couples the

class is for people who are not who have failed at marriage or haven't got a marriage they need to go to patty and salma's class then yeah well i mean only the women it's about how to catch a man or i guess could be a homer sexual and smithers too and how but so yes, this is, Homer is not a very good teacher. How about if we tell you our problems with relationships? Yeah, yeah, that'll eat up some time. How about you, Otto? My standards are just too high, you know? I feel like nobody's good enough for me.

Whoa. I think you got them all, but forget about the eggs. My problem is I'm a real user of women. I move in right away and stay until the money's gone. Well, I'm a smart woman, but I make bad choices. How is somebody leaving my car in a van? Okay, here's a set of house keys and my ATM card. Oh, man.

Those tool jokes imply that, like, Lionel Hutz is more than just an alcoholic and a bad lawyer. He is a terrible person who takes advantage of lonely women. He's a sexaholic who needs sexahol to live. I don't like implying that he has any sexual interest at all. Lionel Hutz is a law machine. Well, I mean, he didn't. He's just like, he uses women until the money's gone.

At no point did he mention having sex with them. I mean, he's hitting on her. He's definitely said something like, hey, we should have sex to Edna. But I think he would just see that as a tool to extract money. He's a con artist. How many people in the classroom were also in the Streetcar Named Desire play? Yeah, that's true. I love when Lionel Hutz is is he's rarely plucked to play just a resident of springfield it's usually the lawyer character that's true he uh well i think it really shows how good how filled springfield is with characters that like it's it's 80 percent identifiable characters

in the class and also that they i i did not include all the sounds because it was 30 seconds of time they killed of homer going um i was surprised how long they they stayed on that i forgot how long and actually that was something that would sort of haunt me so um i taught college writing at kent state university for two years and i am i have too much college i'm paying for it every day this episode episode I always think of it before I started teaching Like how am I going to kill time today Because it is a lot of time And when you're teaching a class with a bunch of college freshmen

No one wants to say anything No one wants to put themselves out there No one really knows how college works So it's like I'm the star of the show for an hour and 15 minutes I gotta fill out this entire hour and 15 minutes Oh shit So you're telling me the guy who can do Five seasons worth of 90 minute Simpsons shows is having a tough time filling air in a

classroom i don't buy it bob teaching people about uh argumentative writing is not as interesting about as talking about the simpsons and no none of my former students reached out to me i taught like 300 students i figure well at least one person would track me now i was like that's the idiot that taught me what if one of them like writes for breitbart oh boy one of my teachers in college one of his final questions on a quiz is what is my name and i was like i have no fucking clue i'm not here because i want to be at all like and i put down dan the instructor he gave me extra point i don't know why that he said that made me laugh that's not my name but dan the instructor comedy saved you again.

The Simpsons will be right back. How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner, and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new Net Zero Hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels and much more. Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier, and your world brighter. Find our net zero hub at electricireland.ie. Hi diddly ho, listenerinos. It's Henry Gilbert here,

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100 more. No, 600 more yeah hey this is Hank Azaria you're listening to Talking Simpsons on laser time I didn't know that was a thing you like laser time shows then you might like bonus time laser times weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash laser time here's

a taste of what you've been missing I went to Las Vegas for the weekend for a bachelor party that's why you couldn't watch Spiderman I think we had the better

weekend we were staying a place where like oh yeah there's just always beer, so... It was a fun trip. Like, the place we stayed at was fucking amazing. Like, rented an Airbnb of this dude who... What? It was a five-bedroom, five-bathroom...

Holy God. ...house with... Wow. ...outside there was a giant pool with a water slide and a fucking grotto in the back. Water slide? Wow. I love water slides.

But the problem is, we were probably, like, grotto in the back. Water slide? Wow. I love water slides. But the problem is we were probably like a mile from the strip. If we wanted to get food we had to order it and the thing I love about Vegas is you eat shittily too. Buffets. We ordered shit from Safeway. That's awful. And

more than half of the stuff we ordered they were like we didn't have it so we just here's your order. There's crackers and cheese. There's no bacon in this order. There's no, like, so just have eggs. We were eating extremely shittily, like Homer making a meal for himself. Kind of like. Some moon waffles were being passed around. No, cloves and fucking Tom Collins mix.

Let's go get your mother. I looked into it because apparently that's what cruise ship dining is too. It's just one prolonged buffet. Yeah, that fucking failed music festival. Fire music festival. That's what we were eating. Oh, shit. But I chat in five different bathrooms, which is nice. I made that my mission. I'm like,

look, I'm going to find every bathroom here and shit in it. Get bonus time, Laser Time's weekly, full-length, uncensored and ad-free Patreon-exclusive podcast. As well as full-length movie commentaries, wrestling and cartoon video commentaries, the first season of Talking Simpson, and more at patreon.com slash LazerTime, starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live, and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. Well, then their complaints continue to

quite a revelation from Smithers' life that he had been married while with Burns and while he worked for Burns. But is it a memory? Look, if this was a grandpa memory, if this was a Burns memory, this was a burns memory that's one thing trustworthy smithers is a sober man who remembers lots of facts in black and white with beautiful framing oh tell us by asa come on i'm just gonna say he's such as uh tennessee williams

fanboy that it's what it's how it changed in his brain and And this is like the gayest Smithers has gotten to this point of just pulling out two different Tennessee Williams plays. I was married once, but I just didn't know how to keep it together. Come on, Waylon. Make love to me the way you used to. No. It's that horrible Mr. Burns, isn't it? You leave Mr. Burns out of this!

Smithers! Smithers! Great, sorry, Harry Shearer acting. Yeah, both of them. He exists in both Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and A Streetcar Named Desire.

And I thought, even now, it's a bit self-indulgent to return to the streetcar well. We just had the Homer a season ago going, Marge! The only defense I have for that is that every producer who worked on A Streetcar Named Marge is gone at this point. That's true. You're right, Henry.

I'll give them that. But they should still be like, do we really need to do another? Do we need to do a Stella Jo as in everybody, like it's smart enough to do Cat on a Hot Tin Roof like that doesn't get parodied as much. But we could make the joke gayer. Well, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is the gay one like Streetcar Named Desire is not

gay, it is very hetero and horrible. Well, it is, and I don't mean to insult the audience, it is gay to like it. Yes, oh yes, it is very gay to like it. What if you like Night of the Iguana? Oh, I'm sorry Bob to insult the audience. It is gay to like it. Yes. Oh, yes. It is very gay to like it. What if you like Night of the Iguana? Oh, I'm sorry, Bob. Sorry, also gay. Watch that twice.

What about The Glass Menagerie? Gayest ever. Well, yeah, I mean. It's like having sex with a man a thousand times. Well, in Glass Menagerie, Tom is clearly gay, and that's what he's drinking his problems away of. But in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, which, by the way, Tennessee Williams was a queer writer,

most of his plays are about southern people dealing with secrets and pain. And that is who Tennessee Williams was, too. And Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, especially, it was changed. It was lightened up some for the film, if you've ever seen the film, which Elizabeth Taylor has never looked more beautiful than is the sexpot Maggie the the cat in uh cat on a hot tin roof and then paul newman plays her husband brick who is walking around with a broken leg and he can't he can't close the deal with her and it's a very poisoned marriage while meanwhile big daddy and big mama come to town to celebrate his birthday but big daddy played by burl ives and like if you only know burl ives from silver bells watching that film is like whoa okay but he's big daddy and he secretly is

suffering from cancer but the issue for waylon both waylon and brick is that they married their high school sweetheart but they were actually in brick case, he was in love with his football buddy, who's just like, yeah, it's my best football buddy. We love each other. You never forget your first football buddy. But they both are in love with each other, but they won't have sex with each other because of their fears of reality,

or they clearly haven't had sex. You've got to fuck your teammates. I cannot express that enough. So Liz Taylor played Maggie the Cat and Maggie Simpson. She did. Two famous Maggies. fuck your teammates i cannot i cannot express so liz taylor played maggie the cat and maggie simpson she had two famous maggies so then bricks football buddy to prove what a man he is he's gonna have sex with with with maggie but he can't seal the deal and when he fails i don't want to say how i read that just looking down for a second sex with maggie so when when he can't seal the deal with elizabeth taylor he then kills himself because he's like, I'm not a man.

And so that's hanging over the entire play. So that's why Paul Newman's character wouldn't have sex with Elizabeth Taylor in there. And that's the meanwhile, the flame that Smithers is carrying is the one for Burns. So really, the whole movie is awesome i'd say well the the the play is even better because they for haze code bullshit they had to like talk around it when clearly he's he's obvious he's in love with it like paul newman credit to paul newman he fought against them sanitizing it and making it less gay and he was not against playing a gay guy or playing a closet character which you know you're a big time movie star like paul in that era of course you would have said like i'd never want to play gay like there's there's a quote from warren baity about in bonnie and clyde he didn't want he was a movie star he did bonnie and clyde to be dangerous

and originally in the script for it in bonnie and clyde there is a three-way of two guys and a girl with him in it and he told them he would not do that he was like look i wanna i'm ready to get edgy in this but i'm not gonna have sex with a man i've got to play dick tracy in 20 years paul newman disgustingly good dude because i didn't get to say it last time and i love talking about how hannah barbara is being treated in comics snagglepuss is now cast in the hannah barbara comic as tennessee williams a gay southern playwright it It is fucking surreal. I love that that IP died so hard that they could do whatever they want with it. And it's a period piece too. Like it's

set in the 50s during like HUAC and everything. I like this. It's really interesting. We get a scene with Hans Mollman and in this scene he's actually yellow. I noticed in season 5 he goes back and forth from being brown and yellow. Yeah. In the very next episode he will be brown when he's lit on fire. Yeah, that's true. But he's yellow here in the very next episode he will be brown when he's lit on fire

yeah that's true but he's the yellow here is the orange eating class and homer's i've based some of my improvisation on homer's like it's um like this uh orange this orange this thing right in front of me i that that homer is so lost he made no lesson plan and everybody is just fed up with it when the secrets come out mo getting to know the secret it does add an extra dimension of mo hitting on marge later in the episode that it's like he celebrates the the her secrets and then we'll hit on her in like 10 minutes they oh has that happened before the mo marge no it only happens in this episode i'm pretty sure because mo forgets her name later.

Like, hey, Midge, or whatever. He calls her Midge in the hockey episode, yes. But I think this was a thread they wanted to start. Maybe it got shut down by David Merkin, or maybe they thought, oh, it's only funny for this episode. But we would see it in King of the Hill with Bill Dautry. So I have a feeling it is Greg Daniels who's putting this all together. That is totally Bill Dautry. Like, the best friend who's in love with the main character's wife.

I love when they all just, on King of the Hill, they all just accept like, yes, we know, Bill. You're all, you just gotta calm it down, Bill. Stop doing terrible King of the Hill impressions. Stop me now. Are you living with Peggy? There's a lot of low moments for Bill Dautre, but one of my favorite ones was

when Peggy fell out of the plane and got the body cast when it was taken off Bill took the cast and put a picture of Peggy's face on it and just sort of hung out with it like it's a very serial killer style

yeah it's a much darker joke on a show with almost no darkness please find our patreon at patreon.com slash talking simpsons we will cover King of the Hill I want to so

bad yes but so yes Homer finds a way to keep their attention Mark and I always talk things over in bed. Like the other night we were fighting about money. Ooh, a fight.

Trouble in paradise, huh? I was telling Marge that we could save some money if she only dyed her hair once a month. Marge dyes her hair? Oh, yeah. She's been as gray as a mule

since she was 17. Come on, tell us more. Tell us about it. I like Apu there. Did you know that? Well, well. It even entertained Skinner, who should have been too much of a lame-o to be like, well, this is not polite in a classroom.

I think the class was just that boring. It was Homer doing orange improv for 40 minutes. And when I originally taped it, I missed the, well, I hit pause on it and I missed the end of the scene of the Krusty Burger return of him saying like, I need closure. All right. I never heard that line until rewatching it on DVD because I just messed up the recording. He wanted that anecdote to be solved for him him so i wonder if the cops ever like followed up and arrested homer on that because they knew it was homer he committed two felonies that same day or that same uh week or whatever and uh yeah then when homer so then marge gets humiliated at

the quickie mart and whatever do you mean a poo whatever do you mean and i thought it was cute that mo calls up who poo not poo yeah apu so homer this is where it really gets hard for me to watch when if you read it is more than a cartoon of just like these are two adults in a relationship homer's ignorance is is too far just like you can't have forgotten like and she marge makes it so clear of like do not tell my secrets and homer's like i didn't tell my secrets when he says when over says i'm not telling my personal secrets in class that shows that he knows he wouldn't do that and like that's too far and that he would still go back it's like it's just too mean for me i i don't know for reference i told on a podcast that my girlfriend was jealous of a co-worker

who i was traveling with and i didn't know i think at all that would be a bad thing. And then all you wonderful listeners told her on her Twitter. Thank you so much. Tattletales. Well, the difference between you and Homer in this situation is that you offer up your life. It's like laid bare. There's really no difference between my private life and these podcasts. Yeah, but, I mean, Homer doesn't do that. So then Homer has that bounty for himself and now Marge's secrets.

I think even more so. So it's like he's not a good guy. Homer then Homer has that bounty for himself and not Marge's secrets. I think even more so. So it's like, he's not a good guy. Homer's not, he's not somebody you root for. He values the attention of the class more than Marge's, you know, privacy. Immediate gratification more than a stable relationship that comes from issues of trust and bounty. Yeah. So Homer tries to defend himself and he ends up going through four movie references. Very fast.

And I have all the clips let's hear the speech first I really wanted to hear what I had to say I'm happy about that but I think you can be a good teacher and still respect our privacy look Marge you don't know what it's like I'm the one out there everyday putting his ass on the line and I'm not out of order

you're out of order the whole freaking system is out of order you want the truth? you can't want the truth? You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. Because when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo, that was your best friend's face. You'll know what to do.

Forget it, Marge. It's Chinatown. Homer, don't ever tell them personal stuff about me again. Yes, ma'am. I deride your truth-handling abilities. I think it was the only way Homer knew to be assertive was to quote manly movie lines from our most famous screaming actors. Out of context, just men trying to prove their worth. Let's go through these in order.

Your out of order is from And Justice for All, which I've never seen. Al Pacino 1979 Phenomenal Norman Jewison It is a scathing indictment of the entire court system And it holds up incredibly well Of all the movies to watch That we're going to talk about here This is the one

This performance is great That man Is guilty That man Is a slime He is a slime. He is a slime. If he's allowed to go free, then something really wrong is going on. Mr. Kirkland, you are out of order.

You're out of order. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. They're out of order. That man. We're good. Wow. I miss his hoo're good. Wow. What a good.

I miss his hoo-ha. Again, this was not typical for Al Pacino to be screamy in his films. That was not the thing he floated by on. This is what made him

the screamy guy. And that's the end of the movie. It's very, very, very earned. He tries to do his best right by justice. And it turns out it's impossible.

So I'm just going to scream in court. Mistrial the fuck out of this. It's a really, it's impossible so i'm just going to scream in court mistrial the fuck out of this it's a really it's a great movie so and of course the next clip is uh you can't handle the truth i don't know this movie is as well known now as it was then but this is jack nicholson and tom cruise and a few good men colonel jesse did you order the code red you don't have to answer that question i'll'll answer the question. You want answers? I think I'm entitled to them. You want answers! I want the truth!

You can't handle the truth! The truth. Wait till they get a load of the truth. It's another great, against the end of the film, and it's Jack Nicholson admitting to the thing the entire trial is about because Tom Cruise pushes him in just the right way. What's that, Aaron Sorkin dialogue with Rob Reiner directing? Rob Reiner.

Rob Reiner. You just got Rob Reiner. I'm Rob Reiner. You just got Reiner. So the next clip is from Patton. Last parodied pretty extensively in Bart the General season one. When you put your hand into a bunch of goo that a moment before was your best friend's face,

you know what to do. So that was George... That's George Al-Migroin, C. Scott. And one of the best, unintentionally best performances in Dr. Strangelove, where they took... They made him go wild on takes

just for fun. Like, oh, we're going to keep those. Those are the ones that are going in the movie. He's like, what? I believe his character was Buck Turgidson. Yes. He's so damn good in that.

I love him. And yes, then Homer's last line. It's a very quiet line in Chinatown, though. Go home, Jake. I'm doing you a favor. Come on, Jake. Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.

Titular line. Yeah, so that just means you're fucked. Yeah, it's set up early in the movie that when they worked in Chinatown, they're like, well, there's just no fixing it like there, and there was really nothing the police could end up doing there. And, yeah, it's just saying, saying like you just can't do it and that that is uh boy chinatown what a punch in the gut that movie is just like horrible ending horrible in a in a great movie making way but it's just like oh this is this is really tragic you think you're seeing a film noir and then you find out like no there's absolutely no justice in the world like the bad people get

away with it and the good people are shot in the head. That's why it's a neo-noir. So how would I rank these? Justice for All, watch that first. Chinatown, Few Good Men. Patton, Absolute Last. Maybe never. That is your dad's favorite film.

Yeah, it gave a lot of angry people boners. Well, because Patton is a very interesting character who says cool stuff, but it is like a celebration of war. You magnusian bastard, I read your book! The only Polanski movies I watch are Before the Trouble Started, so I can still watch Rosemary's Baby and Chinatown. Okay.

No love for The Ninth Gate? I'll pass. I think Night Gate now is even more problematic based on the other guy starring in it. Yeah, you know, Chinatown was the first movie he made after the murder of his wife. Sharentade by the Manson gang. Fun, fun

stuff. All fun stories. Look it up, kids. So that line of quotes all made no sense to me except for You Can't Handle the Truth because that got parodied on everything so I knew that one. And I saw the commercials which they would always have that line in the commercials. It did. I alluded to it in the previous episode but as a little kid obsessed with, but my parents hated the idea of paying for HBO, all the sub-HBO movie channels, these were constantly run.

I watched these like sometimes twice a week, all of these films. But I never saw these for the longest time. And so once I saw them, I was like, it was this clicking moment, kind of like watching, when I watched Citizen Kane for the first time, I was like there's that simpson scene yeah simpson scene so it was hearing those lines being like oh okay that's the this is the movie you'll get more out of simpsons and mystery science theater by watching more movies from the 1970s just get more cultured with watching all these classic films and then you'll get more jokes too it's it's a win-win homer promises her that it's going

to happen and at first he tries he does try i'll give homer that him reading the definition of weeding instead of wedding is such a such a great joke and then he invites the class to his house which actually happened a few i mean this this is more of a grad school thing in my experience but just like oh you're kind of students but we're also peers in a way, so come to my house, we'll drink wine, and we'll have class there. And I think the implication was, maybe I'll fuck one of you. Yeah, I mean, that happens in Animal House as well, of just like,

no, I'm a fun teacher, just party here. And then eventually, at one point, he'll just corner one woman in there, just like, hey, wanna fuck? The class comes to dinner, here's the first sign of that, how bad this is. And how's my little major leaguer? Catch any June bugs today? Well, me and Milhouse took some mail from a mail truck and threw it down the sewer.

Son, I know you meant well, but that wasn't the right thing to do. What the hell are you talking about? You're the one who double dared us. Why, you little... Homer! I'm out of here. Me too. Wow, violently strangled in front of the class. they don't seem to react that poorly to they're like and it's it's interesting how uh bart's prank is so base and

not ingenious in any way but it's because home it was homer's idea bart's prank would be much more involved and have greater consequences for people not just throwing mail in the sewer i like that homer says i know you thought that was the right thing to do like that's the wrong reaction to that i'm just and i think we rarely hear bart post strangle struggling to talk like i'm out of here yeah yeah and meanwhile lisa knows how screwed up this is already she's like i'm not you are hurting the family that homer doesn't understand he likes being popular more with his class than than the feelings of his family or he's just completely blind to them you know and then then it gets to be too far from marge and uh boy i feel i feel really bad for her in this part i want

this to end now hey homer why don't you just nibble her elbow? That always melts her butter, right? All right, okay. Everybody out. Ooh, she's gonna have it. Get out, get out, get out, get out, get out! All right, we're breaking early tonight, class. For tomorrow, you should read pages 7 through 18 in Lisa's diary. You too.

Huh? Get out! But I'm not in the class. Is any of this going to be in the test? Because I wasn't paying attention. What was that lab fee for? It's weird that they end a break with Otto. Just like they could end it on the drama, but instead they're like, let's have Otto say a joke. Was Homer kicked out of the house

any time after Homer's night out and before this? Boy, I don't think so. Well, no. Homer chooses to not come home after the Googleplex thing, which is how he ends up with Lillian. But he wasn't kicked out.

No, he was not kicked out of the house. When did you say at Barney's house? It might be in a flashback episode. Yeah, he's living with Barney when Marge gets pregnant, and say at Barney's house? It might be in a flashback episode. Yeah, he's living with Barney when Marge gets pregnant, and he calls Barney when he's in the jail next door to Barney, but he's not staying with Barney. Thank you for unblurring my memory.

Jesus Christ, Hank. And Barney stays with him one night while Marge leaves him for a solo vacation. In Homer alone. In Homer alone. But yeah, this is the first time she's thrown him out and this is the movie tries to make it a more convincing case that'll actually break up but this is the closest i ever came to believing it i feel like when they come back to the third act like let me in there are crickets out here but also yeah that finding out that homer has been giving them

lisa's diary too it's like what does that even have to do with marriage? That's just another horrible invasion. The class is like basically Homer's private reality show. When you need material, trust me on this, I have 11 podcasts. You mine your life in the lives of others around you. Write everything down about Chris.

Now as an adult, hearing Mo say that melts Marge's butter, it disgusts me so much more. It would humiliate me if... And you know your girlfriends are all doing this, talking to their friends about what you like sexually. Yeah, he really likes a giant dildo in his ass. It's insane.

I'd be so embarrassed if someone called that out. Yes, it is. It is something you just kind of have to get over after a breakup of just like, this person knows all my sexual secrets and can tell everyone. Oh, well. The secret is he likes his penis put in a warm, moist place.

I got rid of my unicorn costume after the last one. And yeah, then Homer's scared of the crickets. And okay, this one really, this line really hurt me because from my dad, I heard this exact thing a million times or similar stuff like, things were said, I heard this exact thing a million times or similar stuff.

But like things were said, mistakes were made. Let's end this madness and get on with our lives. That is classic abusive behavior of like a man of, of a parent or a father in that kind of situation of just like, I did the bad thing, but let's just say we both did something bad. We're both at fault and let's just forget it. And it's just a way of burying abusive behavior. Just moving on. a lot like uh the homer we saw in a streetcar named marge like just the intentionally cruel and selfish and passive-aggressive homer who's not willing to admit any fault and only wants to hurt marge i know it actually reminds me i shouldn't have had secrets i saw another funny version of this in the Oh, Hello on Broadway show, which let me tell you is so goddamn funny.

John Mulaney and Nick Kroll doing Oh, Hello on Broadway. And in it, John Mulaney's character, George St. Gieglin, is torturing his best friend, Gil. Come on. Get the fuck out of here. Like, you're garbage. And then Gil gets very hurt and is about to leave. And then John Mulaney's character is like, all right, look, come on. It's okay.

We both made mistakes. Let's just move on. It's the same deal with Homer. It's hard to like Homer when he does stuff like that. That is one of the funniest things of the year, by the way. Yes. Don't trust Henry's reading. Hey.

No, it's really funny. I just watched it again yesterday. Yeah, I really want to watch that again. It was the most wall-to-wall laughter. I saw it live. Ooh, who was your guest? My guest was Aziz Ansari and his father. Oh, my lucky dog.

I love it. It was very funny. They made fun of him a lot. Leave me alone, man. They made fun of Aziz for saying, like, your dad's more famous than you now. Like, he's a better actor. Homer then saying, like, I guess, drop me a line. Like, he thinks he's too cool for her.

Then the smash cut to him in the treehouse is so great. Yeah, I mean, do his clothes get more tattered over the last act, or does he always have the rope belt? No, they just get more tattered each time. Yeah, because it's like an 80s fucking Atari shirt, like, at the very end. It's barely a shirt.

I think he has, like, five character models in this just based on how many how disheveled he gets yeah and it's great how furry he gets to like his and this is again we know one day revealed later yes and i like the you have the ridiculousness of homer staring at them from the treehouse while also marge is having a fairly real conversation with the kids about we might get a divorce but both your parents love you of just like that it's playing on those two levels at the same time it's pretty funny and uh yeah the third act is is really great even more so when you know it's on the same day yeah and uh and yeah so here's the scene that i swear like mentally replaced bobby and joseph from king of the hill in the place of

bart and millhouse into the safety door millbot affirmative humanoid don't mind me boys just scrubbing my undies sorry bart your dad kind of blew the fantasy i only like it when i pretend scared keep Keep up the roughhousing, son. Without a strong male presence in the house, you could turn sissy overnight. Oh, these stubborn grass Danes. So that's Bill Dautry, then? That is the kind of desperation Bill Dautry would have. Yeah, I mean, Bill is fat and bald and wears a tank top that's white, so you can make all the connections there.

If that's not my favorite line of the show, it is my favorite still of the show. I realize I posted it on Instagram twice over the period of five years. Homer's head tilted back as he hoists his undies up to his chest. It's Bart's derpy-ass space helmet. No mouth look. It is my favorite shot in the entire show, if not this whole season.

Let's go back to that. That's some pretty nice space toys Bart and Milhouse have. But Reverend Lovejoy shows up next to give Marge advice. More bad Lovejoy advice. This is the most they've sold out Lovejoy's character as a Bible lover. Oh, good. Reverend Lovejoy will make Marge take me back. He has to push the sanctity of marriage or his God will punish him.

Did a divorce. But isn't that a sin? Marge, just about everything is a sin. You ever sat down and read this thing? Technically, we're not allowed to go to the bathroom. I love how glib he is about religion. You ever read this thing? I know.

In later appearances, I think when Oakley and Weinstein take over, they do want Lovejoy to have been a believer and that he would never sell out the bible as useless or that it's just you can't live a a bible-filled life they wouldn't go that far they built a good story about how he used to care and he was worn down by just springfield in general and i just love homer's like or else his god will punish him like it's not homer's god he's he's talking about his god and you know a callback to the mail scene that is homer's sleeping bag is a mail bag you're right so clearly he has stolen

mail again like he is fighting some mailman and stealing their mail i feel like there was a deleted scene that didn't even make it to color animation where that explains how he got that mail bag it just seems i mean we have the backstory of the him daring bart to dump the mail in the sewer but maybe there was another mail prank he was doing to cheer himself up who knows worrying that bart's going to become a sissy that is definitely followed up on in homer's phobia for sure oh yeah yeah and it didn't read too much maliciousness into it because it's meant it's meant to punctuate the other joke because his well i mean homer is not a guy you need to base your lifestyle after or belief system after. But the next scene is, it totally reminds me of the scene from Life on the Fast Lane where Hamar just thinking about leaving Homer.

And she's driving down the street and everything she sees is telling her something to do. Yes, my favorite sign is painful memories party supplies which makes no sense the other ones work it's kind of like okay maybe that's a joke someone would name their place yeah no party supply place would be called painful memories that's why it's the great third joke it's a great meta sign joke the joke was we didn't write a joke yeah it's just like homer uh is trying to help her have happy memories. I love you. Will you marry me, Mark? You mean I'm going to be a daddy? I hope we'll always be together.

Together. Together. Together? No! And Homer was in the backseat with a male tube or something. Yeah, it was a little bit manipulative of Homer, but he is this, that desperate. And so he's trying to trick her. And it's another of those FUTV conventions of, oh, you thought those voices were in her head?

He's right behind her. And when she throws him out of the car, he lands right on his face first, just like wham. It's a painful fall. Good fall by Baez and his team. I think, I wish I could think of an example off the top of my head, but I've seen this joke repeated since this episode several times where they take the convention of someone remembering something, lines

of something, and thinking about it, but the person's actually there. They're on the phone, they're in the room, they're behind the couch. I've seen this happen a lot, so maybe it was lateral thinking. Maybe people like this joke. Who knows? It's a good joke. Many people have made fun of TV conventions convention simpsons would not be the only ones but uh oh yeah the how we use electricity can be smarter cleaner and greener at electric ireland we can help guide you there you see our new net zero hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels, and much more.

Making your usage clearer, your trips greener, your home cozier, and your world brighter. Find our Net Zero Hub at electricireland.ie. Then Lisa gets to meet their new mother. Here, Dad. I brought you some nice... Good news, Lisa. I don't need your mother anymore. I've created a replacement that's superior to her in almost every way. Dad, that's just a plant. Lisa, you will respect your new mother.

Now give her a kiss. Kiss her! Oh my God! Oh my god, oh my god! Alright, let's get our story straight. She tripped, right? Look, I brought you some nice pudding. Now that joke will carry over into the next season. A wife-slash-plant being murdered. Oh, you're right, you're right.

Oh, wow. Okay, so that's a big bowl of pudding. That's like an entire pudding mix of pudding. Pudding! Two packages of pudding! Yes, that is how much you'd get in a mixing bowl for making one thing of pudding. But Homer, I bet, routinely eats that much pudding. Just a stray observation as I put my phone down forever.

I'm done trying to find that shot. One, I can't believe that my only outlet for a long time of extrapolating in every episode of The Simpsons was Instagram. Jesus Christ, that's like all it was four years ago.

The other movie that had a big patent parody in it is Sesame Street. Oscar walks out and gives that same speech. Oh, that's, yeah. That's a great speech. But I really want

one of our fans or somebody that's listening out there to do fan art of the shrub Marge from this episode and the fake Homer Marge creates in the B-sharp episode. They could be married as inanimate versions of Marge and Homer. Free idea for fan art right there, folks. Yeah, I can get a t-shirt and I want the profits.

It's the sweetest plum. So disturbing that Homer makes, again, a very Bill Dautry moment of making a fake Marge to live with him. And then plotting to cover up her murder of just like that. He thinks he killed her like she tripped. He's fallen into like full blown psychosis now. Yes, which shows you how desperate and sad his situation is. And that I like that Homer's laziness of wanting lisa to think of it for like can't you think of it i'll give you 40 okay 30 and then lisa is eight years old she can't solve her parents marital problems you know it's a rough time to be the only like intelligent person in the room

jesus christ yeah and then homer i like that homer refers to marge's flesh mother flesh mother but uh mother used to give me this. Mo decides to move in on Homer's turf. Yes. Clean house. No silverfish. Could have been very happy here. Homer. Mo.

What are you doing here? I, um, well, I never touched her, Homer. Homer, I swear I never touched her. Where's your water, Mo? I don't ask you for no water. She's lying, Homer. She's lying. She told me you were her. There's your water, Mo. I don't ask you for no water. She's lying, Homer. She's lying. She told me you were dead.

That's the only reason I... I didn't do nothing. Bye, Mo. When Homer walks in, he's like, hi, Mo. The camera is pointed up at him in a very sinister way. And the music underlines what Mo is thinking. I love it. It's so...

Homer is unintentionally threatening. Like, Mo thinks Homer's about to beat him to death. And Homer's like, hey, Mo, why are you here? He doesn't care. Like, Homer would never think Mo would have intentions for Marge. It would never even occur to him. Established in the opening as he's... Not only does he discover he's slow, but it's okay to yell at Homer.

It's not a problem. And I think Mo is wearing a 70s prom tux or something like that with a boutonniere and everything. I love the little touch of him cleaning the back of his shoe or his shoe on the back of his leg. Was Moe just being manipulative or doing a pickup artist type stuff and saying, I'm really falling here, just waiting for her to offer him to come inside after being turned down?

I'm pretty sure it was manipulative. I think he was part of the game, although Moe has low self-esteem and hates himself it gets to be more sad than yeah yeah it could just be he really is like i am about to cry and she's like fine i'll give you water just eat maybe it wasn't pick up artistry there i just i i mean me reading the joke is he's in homer's class and this is the only other woman he knows. Perhaps so. This is what the teacher told me to do. Yeah. Well, man.

It worked for him. Princess Cashmere is seen in the class. Maybe he struck out with her first. That's true, yeah. She doesn't say anything. Princess Cashmere doesn't talk anymore. But if they need, I feel like she'd leave the incidental character packet soon enough because she is kind of ridiculous looking at this point.

She really is. And Homer's only oh yeah no i want to say mo mo is all over the place for so many uses like they could have changed out mo for a character in like one of his scenes first he's a guy who's mad at homer that he's getting beaten in poker then he's one of homer's students he's teaching a class before that oh yeah then he's teaching a class then he's one of Homer's students. He was teaching a class before that. Oh, yeah. Then he's teaching a class. Then he's one of Homer's students. Then he's trying to hit on Marge. It's like some other characters could have. Lenny could have been one of these people. Carl could have been one of these people.

Not Lenny. Not Lenny. And Homer's only idea is to give Marge flowers. That's all he could think of, just posies. It felt like a very fable-like moment, like out of a fable where homer's like my tattered rags are caught in your coffee table i think that would have been in an asap's fable or in you know a grim's fairy tale of the the pauper leaving the princess's house very symbolic all right so then comes the ending which they they definitely make clear this is a bad thing

march says it's a bad thing but they kind of just settle for it what i think it is it's like uh it's kind of an eat your cake and have it too uh moment in that um we we are invested in these characters but this is very much an anti-sitcom so this cannot be resolved in a way that's satisfying to the viewer it has to be an uncomfortable ugly ending but that still restores the status quo wait that it? I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and utter dependence. Homer, that's not a good thing. Are you kidding?

It's a wondrous, marvelous thing. Marge, I need you more than anyone else on this entire planet could possibly ever need you. I need you to take care of me, to put up with me. And most of all, I need you to love me. Because I love you to take care of me, to put up with me. And most of all, I need you to love me, because I love you. But how do I know I can trust you? Marge, look at me. We've been separated for a day, and I'm as dirty as a Frenchman. In another few hours, I'll be dead.

I can't afford to lose your trust again. I must admit, you really do make a gal feel needed. Wait till my class hears about this kidding i had to get i cut out about 10 seconds of march thinking about it yeah it's yeah so that speech on the good side of it i see it as homer saying i need you so bad and i won't do these things again because this has taught me just how much I need you. And his I need you to love me is a is it's a strong emotional moment. It's sweet. But also, I need you to put up with me. Yeah.

The undercutting of that. But also, Homer is offering Marge nothing outside of to stop the bad behavior that he recently started. He's not like, I'll start doing this more. I'll start behaving in this way more. He's just like, I need you too much. I'm going to die if you don't take me in. I'm a stray dog of a human yes i mean there's the implication that he will improve if she takes him back because he's like because homer will die without her so he'll do what she says and that would work as an

ending if there weren't 800 more episodes of the show after this one that show you homer didn't change anything there's only 600 more episodes henry. Come on. At this point, it wasn't syndicated yet, so we wouldn't see another episode until September. Yeah, it was. It was a strong thing to go out on, but I just feel like it is codependence as a relationship, and that Marge, like Homer's thing, not just is about dependence, but also pity.

It's like, please pity me enough to keep me around Marge, and maybe Marge is just, you know, I can't get to Marge. That 10% works on ladies. I can't imagine another reason my girl is with me. Other than that, I'd die without her. The other alternative is Moe, Chris. I wish I had a dingy pop. Marge doesn't have the pick of the litter in Springfield, I suppose.

I feel this would work if Homer didn't act exactly the same. And the other bit I don't like about it, it's a very funny joke, but the other part I don't like about this is that Marge not only forgives him, but is, like, ready to do weird stuff in bed, like do the things in bed that he likes just as payback. It's like, you didn't earn this, Homer. And I have a special present for you, but I'll give it to you

later tonight. Special present? I don't want to wait. I want to know. I want the children to see. Oh, right. Later. So, Marge, are you really happy? Really? Hey, Moe. That's the last joke of the season.

Ah! Ah! Just ah! That's the end of the season. Ah! I think it's just actually vanilla sex. Just like, you're going to get sex now that we've made up. Makeup sex.

I guess so, yeah. I mean, yeah, it's married sex, so how exciting can it get? But Lisa, I did at least, like, Lisa was me in that scene. Just like, just don't screw it up. Yeah. You are very lucky. don't screw it up. You are very lucky. Don't screw it up. And then the Bart has fresh F's for him

whenever he needs it. I think that's just how thirsty Marge is, though. One day without that homie doing it. It has been clearly established that she enjoys sex with Homer. Slow things fast. Imagine it! Everybody! What if we did it with the jacket on can you swim in naked that's next time yes yeah and so i think it is somewhat earned greg daniels

does a good job it's something too he really did well in the office which is you know that jim and pam will really not actually break up but he built up storylines to go like maybe they will huh and he's he's good at fooling you you can see that kind of skill in here too i think yeah and grounding grounding central characters with a whole lot of ridiculous characters in the periphery yes that is an office hallmark that is true as well but this uh yeah this was a good this was a good episode i think they got again to be more heft to it thanks to the being a season finale. It is very down to earth compared to, say, flying in outer space. It's a very normal episode.

Another biased episode. Yeah, I really wish the next episode, which was delayed by the Northridge earthquake, which we'll talk about in the next episode of Talking Simpsons, I really wish Bard of Darkness, the swimming pool episode, was the finale of the season because it is tied into the summer. It was really weird to come into the fall with an episode about summer vacation getting a swimming pool. But as it stands, this is a fine episode and I really love

season five. I feel like it kept the energy up. There's only a few weaker episodes like Bart's inner child is a weaker one, but the jokes still save it. Oh yeah, yeah. Looking back on season five, broadcast season five, we're now at the end of production season five, blah, blah, blah.

Broadcast season five, I liked it more than season four. I do, too. You had the two great holdovers from production season four, Kay Fear and- Homer's Quartet. Homer's Barbershop Quartet. And then David Merkin and his team just go, like, straight at it. They are so fast and so nimble and coming up with and there's no episodes as weak as the front or there's not a goddamn clip show in this either so that'll be

next year and it's so bad and we're doing it we're doing it i think i think we're gonna have a pretty good time for the next year because every season will at least revisiting them in order will feel i really don't like thinking of like that chris because people are people say in in nice ways like what are you gonna do in two years we're gonna keep doing this because we like yeah i had i i swear i might not have had more fun than revisiting the first and second seasons with you guys the seasons you don't the dvds you don't throw in very often and i don't feel that way in season 12 season 13 i still feel that way so don't yeah please folks don't think like well when they get to season nine and i'm talking season 11 that's what i'm referring to the seasons i don't watch that much

yeah me too 11 but that is still three years away folks anyway so we're we're deep we're gonna be living in simpsons land for a long time to come i'm looking forward to every second of it i've been your host bob mackie you can find me on twitter as bob servo my other podcast is retronauts a classic gaming podcast every monday and occasionally a bonus episode on friday you will find our episodes go to retronauts.com or look for retronauts in your podcast device if you've ever played a video game there will be at least one topic you will want to listen to and i guarantee you'll want to listen to more than one not a guarantee i was on a recent episode about uh canceled games that's right and uh that won the world over you know what we recorded that episode in the beginning of March. We talked about Star Fox 2 as an unreleased game.

Wow. Oh, my God. The day that Retronauts launched was the day Nintendo announced Star Fox 2. The California Raisins, oh. No, no. The day Nintendo announced Star Fox 2 would be released with the SNES Classic. Wow. Man, what timing.

Boy, wow. And no collusion there, folks. And the California Raisins still remain obsolete. No one cares And I'm H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on Twitter And I want to ask you listeners a question Did you hear this without ads? Did you hear this a week early? If not, would you like to?

Well you can do that if you become a patron At patreon.com Slash Talking Simpsons Head over there and you can support us For just $5 a month And get access to tons of stuff, including every episode a week early and exclusive interviews,

a community podcast, the second episode of Talking Critic, and all future episodes of Talking Critic, and much, much more. And that's not even the most exciting thing. You guys get the season wrap-up. That's right. Oh, boy. The season five wrap-up is coming and it's going to be king-sized Homer sized. And we're doing two of them, right? Yes, at least two. Season five wrap-up is coming, and it's going to be king-sized Homer-sized. And we're doing two of them, right?

Yes, at least two. Season five wrap-up exclusive for patrons, and I believe patrons, not unlike later time patrons, will just, you guys did a Simpsons movie commentary. Yes. A full-length Simpsons movie commentary, because it'll be a while until we talk about it, maybe. But yes, we are at the end of season five, so the season wrap-up is coming up, and we're not just going to do our going through the news and stuff, but

as Bob has teased many times, we are going to go through every deleted scene, contextualize them, analyze them, see if they're funny, and try to talk about would this have been a classic Simpsons line or scene if it had stayed in the episode, and I think a lot of them would have been, and I'm going to confuse a lot of people in the future by quoting

deleted scenes and fucking, God, Bob. And fucking with their minds. Like, that never happened. No, Skinner did say this. I like that donut record scene. I would have kept that one. I love Skinner in the homeless shelter talking about his mom having a date. One of my favorite scenes.

8 o'clock. So, yeah. Patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons. Chris? Laser time, baby. It's the dumb little show that started this whole dumb little studio. By the way, which has never been Messier

and I apologize. Oh, it's fine, Chris. But we're in the middle of, geez, it's a full day of recording. We have a ton of other Laser Time episodes that you would be interested in.

Controversial Songs is one of my favorite recent editions of you. We talked about Spider-Man at this point, Wonder Woman and female superheroes. Really fun episodes so far.

And the episode I should have just ended the show on all about pop culture farts which includes the Simpsons sadly but anyway check that out we are

supported by patron as well patreon.com slash laser time it launched 30 2010 the weekly look back 30 20 10 years ago in pop culture history it's game apocalypse and a weekly exclusive bonus

show tentatively called bonus time for a hundred and five episodes in a row and yeah I'm done I'm done cool thank you so much for listening folks we'll be back next Exclusive bonus show. Tentatively called bonus time for 105 episodes in a row. And yeah, exclusive. I'm done. I'm done. Cool.

Thank you so much for listening, folks. We'll be back next week with the first episode of Season 6, Bart of Darkness. We'll see you then. Wow. Infotainment.