Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song

Episode Date: July 5, 2017

Listen up you little freaks! We've hit 100 episodes of Simpsons commentary! And we're chatting about one of the best episodes ever, where Bart gets Skinner fired and gets to know him better than ever before. Listen along and celebrate with us!

This week's episode of Talking Simpsons is brought to you by you. That's right, we're on Patreon now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons. For as little as $5 a month, you can help our show and get all kinds of great extra content on top of that. We've got a ton of great bonus content waiting for you right now, so head on over to patreon.com slash talking simpsons today. I heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, hoy, everybody, and welcome to TalkingSimpsons, where more testicles mean more iron. I'm your host, the guff-speaking work slacker, Bob Mackie, and this is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons.

Who else is here with me today? I'm Henry Gilbert, and I knew the dog before he came to class. Who else? Italian stereotype Chris Antistam. And special guest? I'm Dave Rudden, and my geode must be acknowledged. I will do that for the show, Dave. And today's episode is Sweet Seymour Skinner's Badass

Song. More testicles mean more iron. What a vile sound effect. I just love the foley on that. I wanted to do that so I wanted to use it. Dorsch never should have shot that film in college. Today's episode aired on April 28th 1994

And as always Chris will tell us what happened On this day in history Oh my god Except for Blue Bobby Nelson Mandela is victorious In South Africa's first free election Chant an album of Benedictine monks Is on the top of the charts

And Edward Furlong follows up Terminator 2 With the unforgettable brain scan I know they would put End apartheid Now posters in Lisa's room to piss people off in the early seasons. Yeah, 92. That's on the wall in her room when Homer is, yeah, after she calls him a baboon in the. Baboon. It's difficult to remember the Pro with Parthai people. They're out there.

The Simpsons universe in one year or so Will be introduced to the Benedictine monks Via the rap and rabbis Yes, yeah, well That was written by the critic guys Who also on the critic Did the joke about the singing monks too They really got into these monks It was a needless trend

It topped the charts for like Almost the entire year My mom bought the CD and I was like, why? It was literally 20 year old-old recordings of Benedictine monks, and I think they sunk it up to pleasant beats. It sold incredibly well. Pop culture is really weird. It is.

Well, so this was a major night in Simpsons history. Yes. And this is a major time for Talking simpsons too because this is our hundredth episode of regular simpsons probably i guess if you were to add it up like five six episodes ago is our hundredth episode yeah we're on like 107 now i guess but who's counting i am i know that for laser times 100th episode we decided to do a show just called simpsons reference to talk about our favorite show and explain half the references younger people have been hearing. And the episode art we used

is from the promotional wave for this episode. Bart's eyes are the two zeros in 100. And the 100th night when it showed, it was a full-on celebration from Fox. They were definitely celebrating, like, other than I would guess Married with Children hit it first, but this had to be the second

Fox show ever to hit 100 episodes, right? I think so, probably excluding Cops. Cops doesn't count. They have 1,000 episodes of Cops. But that they were ready to celebrate the legacy of The Simpsons, as Dave Merkin points out on the commentary, but the real reason companies celebrate 100 episodes of a show is because that is the typical syndication thing.

Sometimes if shows got canceled at like 95, they'll still just do it. They're like, Grace Under Fire got to 96 episodes. Let's just do it. And this coming fall would be The Simpsons entering syndication for the first time. Yes. So they all know how rich they're going to get off of that syndication money with 100 episodes. So that was a huge deal. And the night of it, they aired this next two in the 8 30 slot is technically the first ish episode

they show bart the genius which it wasn't it is the second production episode and the second aired episode but it went after the christmas special and i believe in fox's mind they're like well that was the christmas special not the first episode so Also, why air a Christmas episode in April? So you see it next to Bart the Genius and just imagine, even then, seeing 100 next to Bart the Genius and you can just see how far the show

has come. Yeah, Bart the Genius is like Bronze Age compared to this Simpsons episode. Well, on Patreon.com slash Talking Simpsons, we did a viewing of the original pilot that they didn't air. And Bart the General is about 9% better than that, I would say. It's not that much better animation. It's true.

A few things I wanted to bring up. So this is the 100th episode, and I feel like it's a landmark in some cases in that it's the deepest exploration of Skinner's life to date. And Season 5 so far, I think you'll agree with me, has just been about humiliating him at every turn. Every time we see him he's the most pathetic like just a petty bachelor. I mean we don't know he's a

virgin yet but it's apparent. A sad man with no life and no hobbies. Yeah, and this episode is written by Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein who had run season 7 and 8. And it's clear that they wanted to call back to season 3. This is very much a season 3 in tone episode after the great wackiness

of Merkin. We get a more grounded down to earth, like solid story, so much that Homer is kind of pushed out of it. And there are many cut scenes with Homer in them. I mean, Homer is going to be a bigger part of this plot to get Ned out as the principal, but in some ways I feel like this is Oakley and Weinstein

kind of auditioning to be showrunners. This is the first episode that they've written, I feel like this is Oakley and Weinstein kind of auditioning to be showrunners. This is the first episode that they've written, I feel, that is wholly theirs. It has all of their trademark stuff and all of the emotion they loved in season three. And season three is their favorite Simpsons season. They were fans of the show before joining to write for it. And I feel like this is really a callback to those more emotional, more grounded years of the show. Yeah, truly, re-watching this for the first time time it feels absolutely like a season seven episode it drops into season five and it has all the things there you do well if we ever get to interview oakley again or we're lucky enough to talk to

weinstein i'd love to ask them like is this what got you to be showrunners like is this what you proved because it also feels like they had some more hands-off this on this from murk and like there weren't as many mercury things like yes the quickie bard explodes but there are fewer crazy things everything is so much more grounded than this homer is not the monster he's captain crazy he's none of that stuff so i i think it is captain wacky it was intentional that this this was moved to be the 100th episode. Is that? Yes, they will.

Can we find that out for sure? Their reasoning for it is that they wanted a Bart-focused one. They wanted a Bart one. And they talk about it. And I remember it at the time, too. They advertised it like, Bart's biggest prank ever. And it's like, it's not a prank. It was an accident.

He accidentally does something. He's done so many better pranks. In Just Burns' Air, he does so many great pranks. It's a much a prank. He accidentally does something. He thought he's done so many better pranks. In Just Burns His Air, he does so many great pranks. It's a much better prank. Yeah, this one feels regret. I mean, Bart is so human. Skinner's so human. And one other thing, the title of this episode, I had no idea what it meant until like 10 years ago.

It's a reference to the 1971 Blaxploitation movie, Sweet Sweetback's Badass Song with the correct amount of A's and S's, which is the incorrect amount. And it is a movie by Melvin Van Peebles. And I was going to have the trailer play, but it's just a bunch of random scenes and it doesn't make sense in audio. But I found out this movie came into being because Bill Cosby funded it, which is astounding to me. But I'm sure it's great. I haven't seen it. Melvin Van Pee's chased down that money and and it's a beautiful story because mario van people's i think 10 years ago made a movie called badass yeah about where he played his father making this movie i remember in that movie that

he and it's the same cover art too like it's so i learned all about the the people's family legacy when i worked at a mom and pop video store and watched those films. And yeah, the weird thing in Badass is that Mario Van Peebles is playing his father cheating on his mother during the filming of it. It's just like, this is weird. But Mario Van Peebles is a weird guy, so that's cool. But so yeah, this has nothing to do with the plot of that film. Yeah, and one other pre-show thing is that my favorite thing in this episode, well, one of my favorite things in this episode is the couch

gag is them showing their gratitude to Fox by tearing the bug off the screen and stomping on it. Yeah, the special chalkboard gag too. I will not celebrate meaningless milestones. And it is pretty meaningless because they're now on what? Are they going for 700 now? I just saw they're

doing the table reading in the last week of 634. They'll get up to episode 666 guaranteed. If they're not renewing it in 666. 70% of restaurants closed the first year, but it's a miracle for a show to make it to 100 episodes, let alone seven times over. I really think after 300, they stopped making these events every 100th thing. They made it for 500 they mentioned it in the 600th yeah no that was 502 well in 400 i think it was oh yeah merkin

they also he made a joke at the party for the 300th episode he said the joke we're halfway there and it was true and before we get into the episode the last thing i wanted to it's something they don't do anymore of having a theme night where they have celebrities congratulate a show on a milestone and so you can tell they put a lot of work into finding all the past simpsons guest stars they could to congratulate the show on 100 episodes and they go through the entire hour of the celebration which is Skinner's badass song, followed by Bart the Genius. And so I think we should just listen to all of them.

I love it. Are you comfortable in there, Luke Perry? You know, I've been shot out of a lot of cannons in my day, but it's nothing like the first time. Congratulations to the Simpsons on their 100th episode. The Simpsons 100th episode celebration continues. We got Luke Perry in there. Who did a promo for us.

We have our own Luke Perry promo. To everyone in the sleepy town of Springfield, won't you win to the little rascals? May you live long and prosper. I have no idea who that guy is. He did the hand thing.

Keep watching the skis. R.I.P. Leonard Nimoy. I love this is a big one because he's technically on a competing network at a competing time. He's in the height of Frasierdom.

Hello, Kelsey Grammer here. You have such a beautiful voice. Guilty as charged. Felicitations to the people who bring The Simpsons to life. May you make a hundred more. I wonder if he's in the studio. Hi, Danny DeVito here to congratulate The Simpsons on their 100th show. Auntie Herm, can I sit over the side?

Ha, he brings out. Thank God I'm not related to him in real life. The Simpsons 100th episode celebration. And on to... All the best on their 100th episode. I am thrilled. As Pat Toney would say, thanks for making me an offer I couldn't refuse. He does the voice wrong.

What? That's more like Mo. Joe Montaigne. He did not get the level of celebrity to get a call out. He's famous enough. They're taking whoever they can get. At the time, Joe Montaigne was top line in films and shit. I did like Kelsey Graham.

Airheads, hello? This is Kelsey Graham. Thank you for not inviting me on to season five in any way. Well, he looks like he's at a recording of The Simpsons. And then lastly, this is the oddball one. I'd like to take this moment to sing the praises of The Simpsons. Hey, good to see you. Congratulations on your 100th show.

Passionless read from Tony Bennett. Miraculously still alive. Can I get another scotch, please? And Leonard Nimoy isn't. I'm reading this as slowly as I can. And I would like to give a shout out to Alec Baldwin's impression of you. Very, very good. So this is the first episode directed by

Bob Anderson. You can definitely see the David Silverman. See if I can almost get it in here. What's that? Wow! There, wow Bob. Well, okay, Bob Anderson. You can definitely see the David Silverman influence in his work and he has been with the simpsons ever since he's now the animation director so he's been with the

simpsons for over 20 years now i didn't know he graduated into animation director yeah so now he controls all the directors i mean you gotta have somebody that is what silverman graduated into in season five which because it was exhausting it's crazy to think they expected like okay you're in charge of all the other directors, but still, you know, do your own episodes, like three a season. You have some more work. Yeah, I just love those videos

of celebrities congratulating things. They don't do that anymore. Dave, you share. The 100 years of Chan. I love that. From Tim and Eric's awesome show. It's such an old thing that Tim and Eric made fun of it. They love to make fun of old TV tropes.

Congratulations, Jackie Chan, for 100 years of entertainment. Congratulations, 100 years in the business, Jackie Chan. Peace. But all right, let's really get into this episode. This is my favorite episode of season five. I'm with you, Henry. Dave, I thought you said the same thing. No, I really like it, and I have a personal connection to this episode,

but I'm more of Homer Lowe's slanders, just how weird it is. Stampy, stampy, stampy. I think I said it before, but Skinner is my favorite character. I'm not just ripping off Bill Oakley by saying that. He really is. I love the kind of jokes that come out of him, and I like the patheticness, but the empathy we feel for him as this kind of tortured soul. I would go as

far to say there's no better episode of the simpsons that goes far into a non-simpsons character this is my best non-simpsons focus and this is a good exploration of like this version of skinner the sad kind of boring dullard type the last episode i can really remember that he was a big part of was the one where he married or was dating patty yeah yeah and it's like that wasn't really the same version of skinner not really not really now he was left with a little dignity we assume that he didn't live with his mother at that point i don't think he did either he was just a single man yeah is a single man a possible homosexual that's all we knew about it then this episode because they were this is why i did feel like the 100th episode intentionally only at the very start because this is very much them recognizing a legacy and thinking about what hey will people be watching this in 20 years and well first off

they start with joe cocker's cover of little help for my friends and unlike the cheapskates at wonder years they paid to have it on the dvd that's oh isn't that disheartening if you wanted to reference did you have a clip of this on? Yeah, you can hear it in this opening clip here. They're going to eat this up at show and tell. I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the idea of your classmates laughing at our family's private moments. How would you like it if 20 years from now

people were laughing at things you did? Not likely. Come on, have a sense of humor about yourself. I'm a big boy today. Sitting on the turlet. I love that Lisa laughs today. Just hearing you talk about it, I brought it up on the laser time we did

about the Simpsons legacy. I remember watching The Wonder Years with my father, debuted after the Super Bowl, and it was a show I could connect to because the character's father, debuted after the Super Bowl, and it was like a show I could connect to because the character's my age. I watched it all, yeah. It's a great show, but it's nostalgic because it's showing the period my father grew up in. The Simpsons

has existed longer than that period, from 1969 to 1988. So you can watch the Simpsons as both a show you like and as Wonder Years nostalgia. It's set 20 years ago. They're showing a Wonder Years parody. There's no reason to do that.

I grabbed the Wonder Years new song, and it just makes me so mad. It's like the Married with Children new song, right? I just had an old clip. Let me see how much you'll tolerate it. Horrifying. Tapping out. Horrifying. Tapping out.

Just scroll to the end, dude, because it just gets even worse. Who are you? Who are you? Who are you? I will say at least they did a cover and didn't replace it. My question is, though... Can I show you the worst example? Sure. I captured this a long time ago.

I don't have a wiki-esque memory of what song was in the Wonder Years, and I know they had to remove some. I immediately knew what song they had to remove, and they made a non-funny weird al parody oh no and so that's the title might give it away this is awful i love it so much there's only one thing i was sure of i was a man on fire this is so bad. Sorry, Doors fans. Love waits for no one.

Who knows where it's gonna go? Oh, boy. Passion like an ever-glowing Tony. Control. Lighting up the darkest night. Love's on fire. At least he has fire in there. It is bitter irony. The Simpsons was allowed to retain the correct song,

and it's parody of the show that could not retain the correct song. My question, though, is do you think the Wonder Years people wanted the Beatles version of that song, but knew they could never get it, so they went for the Joe Cocker version? Yeah, but then the Wonder Years ended up making the Joe Cocker version even more iconic. I think so, yeah. I know I heard it a billion times because of the Wonder Years. When I heard Joe Cocker version even more iconic. I think so, yeah.

I know I heard it a billion times because of the Wonder Years. When I heard the Beatles one, I'm like, what is this? That song, I don't think, would be appropriate for the Wonder Years. No, not really. You need more of a reflective, sad kind like Joe Cocker does. No offense, Beatles. That's horse shit calliope baby music. So, I mean, when it comes to music licensing on DVDs, it's crippled many

shows from being complete, but The Simpsons is on such a level that they know they could spend $2 million on re-licensing old songs and they'll still make a profit. I wish they hadn't spent so much time on Simpsons DVDs. They routinely, every

year, entered into the top 10 DVD sold period but they, Graining was really adamant about one season per year so it took for fucking ever, it took so long and The Simpsons have been on so long the format is dead! Every episode needed commentary, that was the thing

that was also pushing them back. I'm glad they did that. Once in a while they would get to in a year but it would be like a rare occasion. So this is the 100th episode of Talking Simpsons, we are 10 seconds into the episode and 20 minutes into this recording but it's a tradition that we go too far in every joke oh i don't know if either of you guys did the research for this but when he says well people still be laughing at us 20 years from now i looked up what episode aired 20 years from this one and the episode was what to expect when bart's expecting from Season 25.

So I don't think people were still laughing at him 20 years later. Sick burn, you Simpsons writers. The episode after that was the Lego episode. So that's still, I mean, they're at least still notable 25 years later. I must over-explain or go too far into one joke in this opening bit where Homer is showing off his Sebastian Cabot beard book and his beard catches on fire and uh i must tell you who sebastian cabot is uh he was the lesser mr belvedere he played mr french on a family affair it was the 70s mr belvedere type sitcom in which a a very like well-spoken uh aristocratic uh butler was taking care of these procosish children and he was sort of like an orson welles figure He had a very nice voice and everything but

Chris he played Bagheera in the Jungle Books and he was the narrator of the Disney Winnie the Pooh shorts. Yes. But one thing he did was a spoken word version of Like a Rolling Stone and I have it directly at that part of the song. Henry please. How does it feel?

How does it feel to be without a home? Like a complete complete unknown like a rolling stone we've gone to the finest school all right miss lonely but you know you only used to get juiced in it what and nobody ever taught you how to live on the street and now you gotta get used to it you said you'd never compromise with a mystery tramp it sounds way different when he says you said you'd never compromise with a mystery tramp how does it feel like a rolling stone have the ramones killed and pooing up the honey tree wow that is that is a weird one to do but people would just buy an album with a famous voice like that's a great voice

especially i mean he's a great voice but i Mammoth is a great voice. I mean, he is a great voice, but I feel like this weird, like, spoken word shit was all over the place. I mean, Shatner, of course, doing Rocketman, that everyone remembers, even though it was only televised once. It's this, like, thing that we all know because someone recorded it.

It's nuts that someone had that foresight. Thank God I could see it. And it's for a book of beards. It's a beard book, and I mean, he's got it all. I looked at a few pictures of him from the time. He's got a good beard. It's a a book of beards. It's a beard book. I mean, he's got it all. I looked at a few pictures of him from the time. He's got a good beard. I mean, Mr. French we played had like the, I mean, he had a beard. And it was pretty well groomed.

I guess, you know, maybe it's like how porn from a long time ago feels different now. Because it's like we've seen so much escalation in porn. It's the same with like, well, I've seen crazy mega beards on everybody just walking down the street in San Francisco. So a quality average beard is just like, okay, I guess. It's funny. Like having a beard was a marker of the late 70s. But beards are so back. And I can't grow one.

I'm sorry. No, I hate it. I have very patchy hair on my face. I did like that joke of Bart. They filmed Bart on a toilet. And I did like that joke of Bart. They filmed Bart on a toilet. He's like, well, crap. Although it also makes The Simpsons feel extra old that they have things on super eggs.

Yeah, that's true. Obviously, if Homer and Marge were together in the late 70s, they're not going to have a VHS recorder. I think it was just so on the surface Wonder Years parody. Well, yeah, but I did find it weird that he was projecting onto the fridge. The whole scene was taking place in the kitchen. I thought they're like, oh, there's a reason. Like every time he wears a red hat, there's a reason for that. Or a watch, there's a reason that's in the scene.

But it was just like, this could have easily been done in their living room. Hey, we had a Super 8 camera too. There's footage of me in super Charlie Chaplin-ish high speed somewhere in my parents' house. And so now Bart has to get something else. Marge suggests a potato. I just think they're neat. It's another nice little non sequitur for Marge. And that's also a very O&W type joke of just like potato. Like isn't this a boring thing?

Marge is boring enough to find joy in a potato. And then Bart thinks he'll take a geode. I looked up geodologist. Obviously, it's not a real word. The closest word is a lapidary. Oh, yeah, I've heard of that. Somebody who is good at rocks. And geodes are kind of cool.

They were brought to school a lot in my day. I've never had one. I wanted one so bad. It felt like a thing that would be on every kid's desk. It was so easy to imagine. Lisa would definitely have a geode on her desk. And then Bart feeling his geode envy around everybody else's giant geodes, including Martin's, which is like a punch bowl.

It's huge, yeah. So Bart ends up bringing Sandal's little helper to school, and he starts his show-and-tell with a quiz about what's under the box, and everyone thinks he's telling a joke and trying to guess the answer to it. Boys and girls, Mrsrs krabappel i come before you today to solve a riddle that has plagued mankind for centuries what has four legs and ticks a walking clock a walking clock i'd wait your hair some variety of walking clock in that box is it a walking clock? What? No, it's my dog. Bart accidentally tells them a riddle. He doesn't even get it.

And that Nelson constantly brings a can of tomato paste with him. Yeah, I love that. Sodium benzoate. Yeah. I have to say, and I'm not proud of this, but as a 13-year-old kid, I found it funny that he said two retard spoilage. Yeah, I mean, they just sneak a dirty word in there. Yeah.

But, I i mean we used it in the proper context martin wants to show up as geode and his showmanship really calls back to bark gets an f when he's dressed up as hemingway talking about the old man and see like he has a real showmanship about him because he is gay as they keep underlining in this episode in these episodes martin is very well he's very jealous that they're not going to show his geode. I loved him talking about his raisin roundies, which, again, not a real thing. Somebody made them online.

They made it as vanilla cookies with a raisin cream filling. Sounds good. I was worried for a second that he was like, is that dog eating chocolate? Maybe that's why they didn't make it chocolate. They underlined the raisin part of that. This is the most they've used Santa's little helper

in a long time. Everybody's loving him and not listening to Martin. I knew the dog before he came to class. Kaboom! That! The sound of the thunderous volcanic explosion which gives birth to the magnificent

geode. One of nature's most you're doing it wrong you gotta pin him hard so he can feel it look look let the doggy sneeze it thinks it's people my geode must be acknowledged Oh brother Alright back to show and tell Bart why don't you put the doggy away It's very low key observational humor About how people just act like complete jackasses

Around cute animals Wow a dog I've never seen this before They all just lose it And I mean we've done that in real life Meeting Mikkel and Diana's doggy in this very room. Little Steve. And I love little Steve. He won our hearts over.

And also that Edna just drops all of her meanness and uncaring. She's like, the dog has lit up her heart. And that she even tells Bart, good job. Like, she can't imagine the words she's saying. Also, it just shows, like, the drudgery of school. Just bringing a simple thing like a dog into this environment can words she's saying. Also, it just shows the drudgery of school. Just bringing a simple thing like a dog into this environment can brighten everyone's day. Just like, wow, this never happens in school.

Just the way Willie is just like, look at me, look at me, look at me. And then just the dog, one glance, he's like, ah. It's made his day. It's so beautiful. That is unironically how I am all the time. I don't see dogs live in the goddamn city, man. I love dogs. Though I do wonder, why do those kids not know a Bart brought a dog? When SLH stands up from the box, it's like, how did they not ask him what's in the box the rest of this time?

We don't see that part of it. So Lunch Lady Doris is cooking assorted horse parts. Yes. And we get that great opening, more testicles means more iron. So I did look this up according to google animal testicles only have uh or have six percent of your daily iron intake which i don't know if that's like really good or not i eat fiber bars that talk about how high fiber they are they're like we got six percent of your fiber but we do know iron helps us play

that is true but so you're gonna tie that into testicles for the rest of my life thank you for that association and now comes a joke that i identify as when ralph turned a corner into truly monkey cheese dumb like he'd he'd been doing the i'm eating paste uh this is a drawing of a spirochete and he's definitely not smart in the choo-choo-choos me episode, but this is him like, this is a boy with problems. Um, Miss Hoover, there's a dog in the vent. Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside? He was going to the bathroom. Snagglepuss was pissing or shitting outside the window.

Number one and two. And the way Ralph reads it is great that it's like ralph's not making this up he definitely saw this and it troubled him and so it's like boy ralph has problems like it really does they kind of have lightened up on the ralph stuff though that joke is from the same cloth as he tells me to burn things that's right yeah seeing seeing things hearing things so skitter is introduced I kind of just picked up on it with this viewing. They're trying to establish him as being frazzled. This is a bad day for him. And there's actually a cutscene that goes into more of his problems, actually.

I talked about this with Henry before. We're going to do an episode for Patreon that's just going to be us talking about all the cutscenes and playing all the clips because they're all in the DVD. So in this scene, Skinner's on the phone talking about he didn't know Yom Kippur was real. Yom Kippur. It sounds made up. And then he goes on in the cut part. He goes on to say, he's like, you know, the programs these kids are watching with the Beavis and the butthead. No, no, sir.

I'm not calling you butthead. That's cute. I forgot that joke. I mean, that was not actually aired. It's on the cut scenes. I think we also see that Skinner's hair might be real because his head's all sweaty. He's like running his hands through his hair. If you're wearing a rug, I don't think it will permeate the entire toupee.

Yeah, they've definitely dropped the toupee thing, I'd say. A young Jewish boy was also a Weinstein. Yes, that's like one of the writers. When I was 11, I also didn't know what Yom Kippur was. That was just noises to me. I don't know about you guys, but I grew up in a suburban south. And if there were Jewish people there, in my realm of people, they kept it themselves. I don't know why.

Suburban north here and same. Yeah, but so, I don't know. Dave, you grew up in New York, Long Island. Yeah, so, I mean, we would just have all of the both Christian and Jewish holidays, all the holidays that there are on the calendar. So I knew of Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. I didn't know what they were. I'm just trying to look it up now.

So that takes place during, like, the fall, Yom Kippur. It doesn't take place within the actual time of the year that the Simpsons take place. So a little weird there. Fall is during school time time so it's possible but him ignoring yom kippur means that it's that he he'll be sued like these cost the school millions of dollars yeah i think it's a big problem and i think willie comes in and tell him about the dog in the vents right yes yeah and when he when he tells the rest of school about the dog in the vents which was the absolute wrong thing to do because it excited everybody. But Bart's one of the kids who gets excited.

Like, no, Bart should react differently to this. This could have been any kid in this shot. I think Bart just wants the chaos. He thinks the dog will be fine. But there's a great line from Willie. Have you gone waxy in your beaster? I could not. I mean, beaster obviously signifies head,

but I couldn't find any like Scottish slang I think they just made it up there's a lot of good Scottish slang yeah they make up a lot and did he he's a guff talking works like her yeah it was I don't even love that long series of jokes of Willie insulting Skinner and then it constantly keeps

happening but I at least like that they heightened it and made it special in this one of like finally Skinner has a comeback being insulted by willie at every turn very hank hill comeback and so then yeah it is decided that willie will uh go into the vents but he needs something first lunch lady doris have you got any grease yes yes we do then grease me up woman okie dokie why is that take so fucking perfect body by net well yeah he had already been shown in radio bart to have a that's right awesome body so they just had to stick with that and i liked yeah doris's reaction of like you can tell she

she likes it but she's trying to keep a straight face yes we do yeah and actually the vents are so big i don't think willie needs to be greased up not really huge vents yeah and also think of this with this rare lunch lady doris appearance she is a co-star on the critic right now as she's doing it well actually by this point the critic is off the air and not being played on abc anymore not to spoil episodes of talking critic for you guys on patreon but yes the the show didn't make it to the end of march premiered at the end of january and was canceled and taken off the air by the end of march we do get the great quote there's nary an animal alive that cannot run a grease scotsman and it's shades of i think it was march gets a job when willie fights the wolf

yeah yeah willie is a great fighter. The camera angle underneath Willie, his balls basically smack the camera. There was definite care taken into showing Willie's bulge. It's a mighty bulge. I read somewhere the sequence is a giant alien parody, but somebody pointed out it is actually a parody of all three Aliens movies up until that point. I feel like it is an amalgam of all of them.

It is. Well, watching the dots was definitely in the Alien and Alien. Yeah, in both of them. There's apparently a real specific Alien 3 thing in there, but that's the one we don't watch all the time. I haven't seen it in a long time. That one's not burning in my brain. They do go to the least convenient way to get a dog out of the event, which is you could leave food up there.

You could put a trap up there. I recently just read some story about a cat that got lost at the airport, jumped out during security check, hung out in the vents for a couple weeks. Oh, man. They finally got it out with the trap. I'm like, yeah, because you wouldn't go up in the vent. It just seems dumb. God, I never thought of that.

The people who have to bring their cats to the airport. One of the things that happens every time you take a cat to the airport is they're like, sorry, you can't just put your cat through the x-ray machine. You have to take it out of this carrier. This cat will murder me when I take it out of this. Yeah, I've done that with my parrot, and they're not happy when I'm like, no, we need to go to a separate room. I don't want my bird flying around the airport.

There's one Willie line. My research failed me. So Willie catches Sina's little helper, and need to go to a separate room. I don't want my bird flying around the airport. There's one Willie line. My research failed me. So Willie catches Santa's little helper, and they end up above the auditorium, like really high up. He opens the vent, and he says, "'Tis more dizzying than the belfry at St. blah, blah, blah." I'm not going to say the word. St. Corgaglouwagon.

And this could be the captions failing me because the captions are not always right. Frinkiak is sometimes wrong because it's based on the captions, but I could not find this fictional. sometimes wrong because it's based on the captions, but I could not find this fictional, now I know it's fictional, church. Yeah, there is, as far as I can tell too, there was no similar church either, at least in Scotland. But hey, any Scotch listeners out there, if you know what he's referring to, and it's not just a made-up saint, like if you were searching,

it being called St. Korgagluragen that would explain that like then there is then there would be a Catholic saint of that name even if there wasn't a Belfry attached to it and the fact that that wouldn't come up then it's like okay then it's a made up saint. We know he grew up in North

Kiltown. So we just need to search the North Kiltown It's going to be our first field trip skinner hiccuping he's so worried and he's a one-time trade never comes back and that edna doesn't even care she's smoking in the hallway which given the like this episode slightly feels like a prequel to the episode where they're where they start dating and so her being so mean to him and this is just like oh poor skinner she's she'll she'll love you eventually yes for some reason then things of course get much worse so good

superintendent chalmers you didn't have to come all the way down here everything's under control that is not his fault i am at it with the school skinner. The low test scores. Class after class of ugly, ugly children. Oh, no, I really think the children's periods... Seymour, you are in very, very big trouble. Why, looking into this lovable mutt's eyes just melts my heart. Seymour, all is forgiven. Make way for Willie! I said make way for Willie, i said make way for willie

you bloated gus bug you're fired i'm sorry did you just call me a liar no i said you were fired oh that's much worse one last hiccup

love superintendent schmers so much. Skinner! I wonder if that's ever been successful in averting being fired. Are you calling me a liar? Are you calling me a liar that that would just, like, throw them off on firing you? Poor, yeah, poor Skinner. You can't blame him for all of this, but. Like the shitty fireman breaking the window.

That's not his fault. But the Chalmers doesn't. Well, I mean, Chalmers blames him for ugly students. Class after class of ugly, ugly children. I also did love the little joke of Wiggum complimenting the basketball play of the two cops.

And the acting of Dan when he's both laughing as Willie and being smashed with books. It's really good. The kids are throwing books at the Fed. And Make Way for Willie, that is a great line. That should be the name of his spinoff sitcom.

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video commentaries, and more at patreon.com slash lasertime, starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live, and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. Yeah, Bart's feeling pretty bad about it. They're eating a classic Simpsons breakfast of glop. Just like a bunch of piles. Just the same piles of glop.

And this is a long one, but it is... Oh, actually, no, I split this into two parts because this entire scene is just the greatest, but... A lot of great debuts in this episode. There's three major debuts here, and this is the first. Boys and girls, because of Mr. Skinner's sudden departure, I've had to appoint a new principal. Leopold.

All right, you little punks. Pick up your freaking ears, because I'm only going to be saying this once. From now on, things are going to be very, very different around here. With your new principal, Ned Flanders. Okay, Leopold appears one more time with the same joke. This is one substitute you're not going to screw with. Marge Simpson.

It's both out of stage talking about the pta and did but i love what leopold represents that he he is a divergent way this episode could have gone it easily could have been about the strict taskmaster who ruins the school and makes everything worse it shows you how nice skinner was who is that's too cliche who is leopold and why does he need to be there yeah it's like leopold will tell you he you. They're up there for ten seconds. He's like Chalmers' buddy. He's like Chalmers' Sean Spicer. Send him out to deliver bad news.

And he's so mean. He has a scar. I love Leopold. And all the gasps from the children, too. But he seems happy at the very end of an announcement. I like how he doesn't open his mouth when he speaks. He talks through titties. I'm going to screw with. I like how he doesn't open his mouth when he speaks. He talks like Charlton Heston.

I'm going to screw with. And then the scene continues with Flanders being a big friend to all the kids, and the kids love him. Well, Tiffany, top of the end, every good buddy here. As chairman of the PTA, I am de-diddly delighted to take over, and I think I can put the pal back in principal. And I'll put the super back in principal. And I'll put the super back in superintendent. That's the same exact joke.

Now, I know everybody's eager to get back to class. But I thought it might break the ice if we had a little Q&A. Dude, ask a question or we'll have to go back to class. Um... Yeah, you. Yeah, I was wondering, do you, uh, what's your policy on, uh,

lunch? Well, let me just say I want to put the stew back in students. It's just a damn popularity contest with you kids. Poor Chalmers. Kids wouldn't be happy to know they're going to be getting stew all the time. The damn popularity contest. They can't stand it.

I remember liking people like Flanders for making jokes that I could get, especially in elementary school. And that was a very school joke where it's like, this assembly, we need to prolong assembly or not getting homework in class. Let's just delay the teacher with some dumb question. And the Jimbo's nervous acting was great. It's the most ranged Jimbo's been asked to play at this point.

Though he also was so good against James Woods. Like me. Yeah. And that Leopold, I find it nice that Leopold is comforting, uh, Chalmers in his sadness. And so I definitely had that moment as a kid of like seeing a teacher out,

not in school and just like, what is this? Who are you? You've gone crazy as, as Milhouse would say. And all right, look, do you guys have a better line of the episode than this?

This is it. This is it. That's the joke. Now I, I finally have time to do what I've always wanted. Write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life through advanced cloning techniques.

I call it Billy and the Clonosaurus. Oh, you have got to be kidding, sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, and then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn't you think this was... Bestseller list for 18 months! Every magazine cover had it!

Popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking? I mean, thank you. I'll come again. Billy and the Clonosaurus. Oh, the greatest joke. That's one of my favorite lines ever. It really is.

And the rant with the cross dissolves is a joke I feel like I don't see enough in The Simpsons or anywhere else. Yeah, I mean, and Apu took it upon himself to lecture this man like how dare and the animation on what were you thinking just like how he like his head moves like a bird almost he's so mad and that Skinner is just broken by it he doesn't defend his idea at all he's just like and that they could do that entire joke without saying the words Jurassic Park like you know it's about Jurassic Park. Everyone knows it. It's still a phenomenon. But that he doesn't say it.

It almost seems like The Simpsons is refusing to acknowledge the biggest thing in the universe that isn't it. To specifically date it like that. Stampy did a Jurassic Park joke too. Yes, yeah, but they rarely will say, they wouldn't say Jurassic Park, the movie we all saw last year, remember?

There's literally a line for people to go see Batman in The Simpsons, but not Jurassic Park, the movie we all saw last year, remember? There's literally a line for people to go see Batman in The Simpsons but not Jurassic Park. But man, Billy and the Clones. Billy and the Clonesaurus. So Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein, they based Skinner on a lot of their teachers they had in high school. If you didn't know, Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein met each other in high school and stayed

together for almost 30 years, I think. Maybe 25 as writing partners. But they're still friendly. I saw a lot of my teachers in Skinner as well. In high school, I had a very Skinner-esque teacher who we all knew lived with his elderly parents. He was in his 50s, and he dressed very plainly, and he was a stick in the mud.

But we would make fun of him cruelly behind his back for being a loser. Yeah, I definitely had teachers like that, too. I also, it was, yeah, I, I definitely had teachers like that too. I, I also, well, speaking of lameness, I like the Flanders has slicer you who,

which is such a specific thing that you get like, you was disgusting. By the way, I, when I watched the episode, like as a 13 year old, I'm like, wow,

that is actually the best drinks to have. Cause like chocolate milk, it's not, it's not chocolate milk. It's not chocolate milk. It's chocolate water. It somehow has diarrhea-inducing components to it. I just love Yoo-Hoo, so I was like, this is actually better than regular soda. Better than what Skinner has to offer later, too.

I was more of a quick guy than that because that rabbit, he told me to go. And there's also milk alongside of it, so it's not just like a weird chocolate syrup and water disgusting. I'm with you. Banana flavored quick. And also, it couldn't be Yoo-Hoo if he's clicking a glass with ice in it. You don't put ice in Yoo-Hoo.

That's weird. I've seen it happen and it's gross. It's already watery enough. It's even more disgusting. Yeah. At least with quick, too. I guess you can buy pre-made

quick, but when you make it yourself, you control the density of chocolate in there. I've never forgiven Yoo-Hoo. I went to the Warped Tour 1997 where it was co-headlined by Blink-12 and Eminem in a parking lot in Atlanta, and they had

no water fountains, but Yoo-Hoo was there with all the promotional Yoo-Hoo you could drink. We all almost shit our pants. Hot, warm Yoo-Hoo on a summer day in a blacktop parking lot in Atlanta. So we have a scene next of more of Skinner's life outside

of the school. If Billy and the Clonosaurus was right before, this would be my line of the show. I do want to say, it's not just a Skinner thing, it's also what you do when you're unemployed. You indulge in these basic things to make them feel more significant. What adventure am I doing today when I do the dishes like which salad dressing do i want to buy i have

all this time how can i make laundry more exciting yeah they'd actually do on mission hill they do a better even better observation a whole episode about observing unemployment when andy loses his job i did not appreciate that episode until i was unemployed and i was like oh my god it's so perfect and then when you have a dental problem you you're like, okay, I need a job in the insurance now. Time to scam somebody into medical help. Let's see. Tide. Cheer. Bold. Biz. Fab. All. Gain. Whisk. I believe today I will try bold. Come on, Skinner, you're losing money.

Just buy a big jug of it. Yeah, so, I mean, we'll get to it in a second, but, like, it's no wonder that he can't afford new underwear when he's buying it at the laundromat and he's buying groceries at the Quickie Mart. It is a huge markup in both those places. Just try to check. All these miraculously still exist wow let me double check biz this seemed out of place there it is yeah but i like that observation of just every detergent is a one silver word yeah when you hear them all together you're like oh they all are named the same they all they all seem like the end of a url yeah bold and biz is still around what the hell man the detergent market is stable

i like bart's awkwardness at meeting the guy he fired again he just keeps running into him just like oh uh hey and meanwhile skinner is so desperate for contact with anybody that he'll ask bart to come over to his place. I didn't know you could light bags of poop on fire and make people step on them. So that joke made no sense to me. I didn't know that prank. That was a good boy. I was not a prankster.

These Italian loafers will make fun work of this. I think another, I think a kid, like a young adult book had to contextualize what was actually in the bag. Because they don't say it in the show. A year or two later, we would learn from Billy Madison that it's called the shit poop. It's called the shit poop! Fuck it. But this is another one of those things

that I say every day. Blank will make short work of it. Yes. If I've ever seen a game stream, I constantly say that. I like making that pronouncement, like, that will make short work of this. But it's also one of those things

I've read a ton of books and seen a billion movies, I've never heard that from anybody but Seymour Skinner, make short work of it. And this is how desperate Skinner really is now. Uh, I'm kind of busy on Saturday. Hey! We got Skinner's underpants! There's nothing you can do about it, Mr. X Principal! That's not true, I can buy a new pair.

No, I can't. I needed those. I really did. No severance? He was making principal money without paying rent. This is about how much authority a principal has during the summer. That's true. Though also

Seymour has been paying his mother all this money for all the food he ate as a child, for example. Oh, right, right. That's probably why he has no money. Let's explain later. She's also telling him when it's 7.30. She's doing some important things for him.

Well, yeah, Agnes is a lot nicer in this than this is the first time we've seen Agnes since Crepes of Wrath. Oh, no, she was in Bart and Her Child. Oh, all right, yes. When he stabs the mother effigy on stage. That's right. She doesn't say anything when she is there.

You're right. Okay, so this is the second appearance since then. So Skinner invites Bart out to dinner at this great restaurant. He sells it to Bart by saying, they'll make a pizza pie with a topping of your choice. Well, I did like just the lameness of skinner in his room alone directing the orchestra off of tape and like and wanting to know when it's 7 30 which is such a lame thing like was that even that to me was like my sister telling me like dinosaurs are starting

it's a very little kid thing like i'll tell you when your favorite show is on and actually it's it's a cute skinner thing where he's conducting and Bart enters. And he's not even, like, ashamed or anything. He's not ashamed. He's just like, this is just what I do. They're just having fun. Hey, friends. Also, I think Darryl on Kids in the Hall did that.

Like, a sketch open with him, like, conducting. And Darryl is the worst. And then Skinner goes over his history in the Army. Ah, yes. And I just wanted to go back to it because he mentions joey heatherton so he says uh it was that he what the fuck is joey heatherton so that he had gotten shot twice there he had two purple hearts on the thing i don't know if you noticed next to the photograph yeah and one of them was for being shot uh in front of his man he's like this is

right before i get shot in the back which is is funny because it's a USO show. So, wanted Joey Heatherton to put on some pants. And so, Joey Heatherton was a sexy, very sexy

60s and 70s singer, singer, model, actress. Reference later, I think, I don't know the context,

but if Mo could have one wish, he'd say, I'd date with Joey Heatherton. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's into her too. Well, who wouldn't be? Yeah, as a kid, I did not think like, oh, I thought this was some crazy army guy who took off his pants a lot.

Do a quick search for Joey Heatherton. Along with a lot of other babes she performed at USO shows. She did quite a lot of USO shows with Bob Hope during Vietnam. And based on the Gilbert Gottfried podcast, which we reference a lot on here, I know for a fact now that if you see a woman on stage with Bob Hope at a USO show,

he probably fucked her with his withered penis. He was a disgusting man. You know, he actually has so many better options there in terms of physical specimens. So here's Joey Heatherton singing with Bob Hope in front of our troops. Without pants. It's a lovely day for saying It's a lovely Not your lovely

It's a lovely day That's entertainment back then. I mean, I get why they did it, but I don't understand the appeal. Do you want to go to the USO show and see a woman from 2,000 yards away? I hear she's half naked. I mean, I get why they did it, but I don't understand the appeal. Do you want to go to the USO show and see a woman from 2,000 yards away? I don't get it. If you've looked into

more like, Bob Hope was kind of willing to throw away a TV and movie career to go entertain troops to where it became like an obsession and it interfered with a lot of his personal life. It was a charity, but also an excuse to fuck around on his wife. Yeah, that was the secret thing. That's one of my favorite jokes

in Arrested Development when they reveal that Lucille Bluth had been a Joey Heatherton type going on tour with Bob Hope and so and it would be what the Lucille would have done she would have been a showgirl who then married a rich guy like that was her character and so I'm sorry I did no she's kind of a shut-in apparently no i didn't know that well i'm sorry i skipped ahead to the italian restaurant because i missed one thing it reminded me as a kid of being at someone's house and being offered a food item that was just weird or something i would never drink on my own so like a diet caffeine free dr pepper or individual fruit cocktail cup just like yeah very lame skinnery yeah and again, and again, to me, like, oh, Ned's stuff is way cooler. Yeah.

Chocolate milk or orange soda. I'd rather have nachos Flanders style than any of this. Two of my best friends were Indian and Pakistani, and that's all it was all the time. Like, weird food, weird drinks. Well, speaking of drinks, one of my favorite lines in this episode is, did anybody ask about me? I thought someone said your name, but they were saying skim milk. Which I used to work at a GameStop and I had a co-worker named

Patrick Salazar and he left and then he just visited the store one day and I kept hoping he would ask me has anyone been asking about me because I always had in my head no I think someone was but they were just saying salad bar he never

said no it was just that one time he came I'm like please just ask to use it here I think someone was, but they were just saying salad bar. He never said shell bar. No, it was just that one time he came, I'm like, please just ask. You're saving it to use it here. Perfect. On your last day, you should have invited him into the store. Just say it. Please just say it. I need this closure.

I mean, I actually have been that skinner many times of fishing for information. I'm like, it's talking about me. I just did it with the bad place I just left. I've definitely asked like so because what i want to hear is they all are failing without you and no one can do anything without you and you're the greatest most important person in the world i they they haven't said that to me yet though waiting for that email yes they were just asking about dilbert all right but yes then they go and get that pizza pie from another premiering character. I thought you might like this restaurant, Bart.

They'll make a pizza pie with a topping of your choice. Hey, Simone, you want a Yoshi with a table? No, no, Luigi. I'd like one with two seats. I'll be dining with a friend tonight. Hey, good for you, huh? Mmm, it tastes real nice here. Hey, Salvatore, guess who's here?

Mr. Cuculamanza and his submarine log, the kid. I had to look up that spelling a really, really long time ago. Cuculamanza? Yeah, I think it might be a reference to a really old character from an old movie. Fuck, I forgot. I did this because I...

I mean, I know what it really means. It's Italian slang that means crazy in the head. Yeah, I'd never looked it up until this time, too. It was like, And Luigi will appear once more to make the same joke in Barthelme, but he's also used after that. But he's reused like Leopold for that same joke. Please, if I may, this is my stereotype.

Yes. I got to point to the reference material. That would be none other than Tony from the 1955 movie Lady and the Tramp. Uh-huh. Okay. Hey, Joe! He says he wants two

spaghetti speciale heavy on the meat's bowl. Tony, dogs don't talk. He's talking to me. Okay, he's talking to me. I love this. Love those guys. No one really loves the dog.

I never read, boy, I never read that as a reference. No, it's a very deliberate Lady and the Tramp reference. I can see it now. Well, they also admit to animators that his design is taken

off the pizza box. He is the pizza box guy. Enjoy this pizza. He's the generic pizza box guy for every non-chain in this area. Actually, we just saw the pizza box guy of like enjoy this pizza. He's the generic pizza box guy for every non-chain in this area. Yeah, actually we just saw the pizza box guy in the second episode

of Talking Critic when we did that at Miserable. Exactly. I guess I'll acknowledge that I don't have to deal with a lot of stereotypes. I was a southern kid with an Italian last name.

The only time I had to whip it out when they were like are you Jewish? Nah, Italian. Okay, we're cool. But this is the only stereotype my friends had to be like oh shit you're that guy i'm like yeah i guess i was always real excited to see luigi i love seeing luigi i uh yeah it

he just transformed into easy italian stereotype jokes that they would do or jokes about people having italian stereotypes i did like the grease ball coming through oh kids i'm making the nice pizza for you that's in uh that was my mario yeah that same voice some point bart is like upset the state of the school is in he is this should be his dream like nilhouse is rubbing ketchup onto his stomach martin is in a cage yes i i love the line not only am i not learning i'm forgetting stuff i used to know that's great i love that it's not fun to I not learning, I'm forgetting stuff I used to know. That's great. I love that. It's not fun to challenge a system where you can get away with everything. He wants a Skinner to push back against instead.

And meanwhile, Skinner is just heartbroken that he can't go back. He realizes he can't live a life there with the memory of the school right in front of him. I got carsick in your office. That was also funny. Was that Ralph? Yes. Okay. memory of the school right in front of him i i got carsick in your office that was also funny was that ralph yes okay so then we get some army jokes which in a pre-iraq war pre-911 thing these jokes are so different i mean the point of this joke is like isn't the army so useless now they're not doing anything of importance and everyone in the army is kind of stupid and that thing the guy points out like it's rare to have combat veterans there

it's like they're just securing a Montgomery Ward or something. When meanwhile, like, we've got all the combat veterans we need right now. We'll throw you into any meat grinder. But, yeah, he's back in the Army. It's good to have another combat veteran around here. I myself received a number of medals for securing that Montgomery Ward in Kuwait City. Yes, Colonel. Now, it would be my duty to mold the new recruits

into a well-disciplined, highly trained infantry unit. Sure, I guess. Here they come. Hey, where do I get my grenades at? They don't have them group turlets here no more, do they? It's like a stupid Hercules.

Group turlets here no more turlets i mean that voice is pretty close to uh cousin merle yeah each go yeah but the colonel was his first name cory sounded almost exactly like someone lisa would call group turlets i i don't know what the basis of that fear of a group turlet would be but uh i mean i don't like peeing in a trough oh no there's trough that's i just started watching f is for family and the third episode there's a joke where the the 10 year old son has to go to a public toilet without his dad in the 70s and it's it's all disgusting trough style not good and disgusting cigarette butts yes and guys were just all their disgusting balls out

so I think of those trough urinals I think I've maybe seen like three of them ever in my

life oh every sports stadium and three crappy bars well I also try to never use pellet

crusher it works with that and he grinds up his pee and converts it to farts he'll show

you how next episode I'm really good at holding it or maybe i just i'm lucky to have a big sounds really unhealthy but one of the things that skinner does while training the troops is that he teaches them how to do better uh marching chants and i thought like the one that they said i don't know but i've been told the parthenon is mighty old yeah i'm looking that up and it's not referenced anywhere on the internet besides The Simpsons. Yeah, because it came from there. I thought it was a regular military chant.

No, they're parodying a scene in Full Metal Jacket that is filthy. The joke of Skinner is like, I want to turn this filthy chant into something educational. Because it was about Eskimo pussy. Yeah, Eskimo pussy is mighty cold. They have the camera even at the very specific Kubrick centering angle. Except that, look at, just make sure to stop at the very end and watch, like, Skinner's pupil has gone to the back of his head. Yeah, they're like totally walleyeing him. They're doing their best to imitate some of the best cinematography of all time.

They've got a TV budget. But how old is the Parthenon? I just looked that up. It was built in 438 B.C. Nobody knows. That would make it 2,455 years old. Officially mighty old. Yes.

Meanwhile, Marge and Homer are trying to talk some sense into Ned as we get another shocking reveal. Ned, Homer and I are a little concerned with the way the school is being run. Yes. Easily concerned. I may go a little bit easy the way the school's being run. Yes, easily concerned. I may go a little bit easy on the old hickory dickory stick, but that's just because my dad was so hard on me when I was a boy. What's he doing?

Oh, man! Ned's building all over my poems. He's a real flat tire. I mean a cube, man. He's putting us on the train to squares little Mona that ridiculous joke would be canon that's amazing

the beatnik stuff was great because of course you would think he had strict religious parents and that's why he is the way he is his parents were like hippies but more educated he's rebelling from that. But it's funny that Ned's mom, who we never meet after this, and his dad, who we never meet after this,

well, his mom is named Mona, the same name as Homer's mom. And they're both sort of like counterculture types. They're going to have a Batman versus Superman moment at some point in the finale. I was going to wonder if there was a Reddit thread, are they the same woman? We're going to write a bad article about this. It'll make millions. But yeah, I don't know why the name Mona was chosen for both of them.

I don't know if there's a famous Mona beatnik or hippie or counterculture person. Sounds beatnik-y, I'd say. Well, also that it is reused in Hurricane Nettie, and that's how you find out about them trying nothing and being all out of ideas. What I didn't like, I actually really like the viva ned flanders episode but they reveal that he's 60 and until the 2000s then his age wouldn't match up with having not at all parents so that's what i didn't like i i it it was moments like that that even in good episodes and later simpsons that made me sour on the show as a grumpy puss because it was like, no, that invalidates continuity that was in previous episodes. There are great jokes in it, though.

Viva Net Finers is really funny. I'll take a white wine spritzer. There is no waffle bar. I'm so sorry. I never know what two women could do for him. Also, the secret running gag of season five, I realized with this scene, is watching someone

fantasize they do a cutaway which they always did in season four but this time it was a pronounced thing in merkin's thing of like people watching the person think about the thing they're cutting away to and being confused marge does that while flanders is cutting back like she even looks at homer goes there's a moment of at least awkward recognition of what's happening. And just previously in Burns is there. Marge is fantasizing about Lee Majors. Right. And everybody's staring at her.

And Bart gets an elephant. Everybody is just staring at her after she mentions the double-plied windows. It's a lot of staring and just taking time to stare. I like that they could have jokes like that, too. They can just take the time, like, well, wait two seconds to... It's confidence I don't have to let a joke breathe. No, no, no. Keep going, keep going.

And up next, Lisa sort of figures out why Bart needs Skinner in his life, and we're introduced to a very important character in The Simpsons. Wow, I never thought Principal Skinner could become any more of a square, but there's the proof. It's weird, Lisa. I miss him as a friend, but I miss him even more as an enemy. I think you need Skinner, Bart. Everybody needs a nemesis.

Sherlock Holmes had his Dr. Moriarty. Mountain Dew has its Mellow Yellow. Even Maggie has that baby with the one eyebrow. I just like that. Gerald. Baby Gerald. Oh, Baby Gerald. The baby with one eye. It was another debut that would become canon.

Well, I mean, or over, reused. Baby Gerald would come back so much that he would be in the HD-ified opening of the show. Right, yeah. When, after Maggie is scanned. I hate that opening. They then, well, they pack it with every joke they couldn't do in season two. So when they made the last opening. So, you know, I get it.

They wanted to fill with jokes. They could have made it look better. And the baby Gerald was named in season eight's The Canine Mutiny. Which is when he started a fire that then Laddy saves everybody from. And then after Quimby gives the award to Laddie as thanks, he then says, Baby Gerald. That's when Gerald got his name. And I respect that because that was an Oakley and Weinstein season episode.

So I respect them giving a name to the character they created in this. And Baby Gerald would next be seen in Lady Bouvier's Lover. Oh, you're right. It was definitely Oakley and Weinstein going, well, we wrote this one. Let's do that joke again. We can make it a runner just because we're writing five episodes.

That's right. Their episodes are pretty close together in this season. And when Bart goes onto the range, he should know better than that. He's not that stupid, is he? If he wanted to see Explosions, also proud home of secret civilian mail opening

projects. They're proud of it. And this was the most murky moment of the quickie Mart is blown up and seemingly Apu and Sanjay are dead. Really great touch, the K landing behind in that scene. Denying you the true explosion, but dropping

the K of just like, yeah, they're dead. And they wicked pumps again in scenes from the class struggle in springfield when marge gets the uh dress and her she's helping her friend pump the gas because she's too rich and stupid to do it part sees how much he is suffering and he wants to help him and i like that early on skinner well first skinner identifies that obviously the army is too rowdy for him the army was never the place for him because it was filled with guys who want to have fun, not boring people like him. It does seem a little incongruous

that he whips him into shape before with the Parthenon march thing, and then now they hate him? Well, he can make him march differently, but it doesn't mean they obviously would all hate him. Yeah, I think they were just putting up with him, and now they're just like, fuck's sake. And I like he establishes that if he comes back, Bart has to be a good student or they won't be friends anymore,

just to make it easier to get into the kind of sweet ending they have there. But Bart finally has a plan to save Skinner. What's he doing here? Well, once he found out we were going to get Ned Flanders fired, he insisted on helping. That is true. Here's the plan. Once Chalmers comes for his next inspection and sees how crappy the school has gotten, he'll fire Ned

on the spot. One question remains. How do I get out of the army? No problemo. Just make a pass at your commanding officer. Done and done. And I mean done. What's going on in there? Nothing. Done and done.

I must know more about that joke. Yeah, so that felt like usual Simpsons. Is he still homosexual? Well, that feels like definitely a Simpsons tradition of having a one-off joke that would imply someone is gay. I think he was just overly willing to do it. He had no shame just because he wanted to get out that badly. I mean, I'm cool with the reading if they want to read it. You don't think it implies he already did it? I think it just means consider it done. I don't think it means it's already been done.

And it's so easy for him to imagine it. He has absolutely no problem with it. He's got a voice like Corey. I guess we should say this was the don't ask, don't tell zone of the army. It's a dated joke. You can't be fired for being gay in the army now. What a fucking weird time. God, I hate this planet.

These wussified army people that was uh that was something else in the i believe the army going to do things i refuse to i believe it was the 2012 election where they had uh at some republican debate they took in video questions and one was from an openly gay service member who was asking what he'd do for them and the the republican voting audience at this event they booed a soldier because he was talking about being gay right that sucks but i i wouldn't mind if they'd made the reading now that like you know what skinner is bi like he's always been bi or he's pansexual or whatever that he just. How we use electricity can be smarter, cleaner and greener. At Electric Ireland, we can help guide you there. You see, our new net zero hub has all you need to know about smart meter plans, EV tariffs, solar panels and much more.

Making your usage clearer, your trips trips greener your home cozier and your world brighter find our net zero hub at electricireland.ie it wouldn't invalidate all his relationships with women but it's just like yeah skinner goes both ways you're saying he's gay until he had his first female encounter henry that's unbelievable i mean he wasn't to patty first like it wasn't just edna one thing you should notice about this episode is that there's until he had his first female encounter, Henry. That's unbelievable. I mean, he was into Patty first. It wasn't just Edna. One thing you should notice about this episode is that there's very, very little Homer. Oh, yeah.

There's almost no Homer in this episode. That's why I love it when he shows up like that, like, this is true. If you watch the cut scenes from this episode, there's a few more Homer things in Act 3. The scene with him in the bedroom is extended. Homer's plan is to make ned think the school is turned upside down by gluing all the furniture to the ceiling and he's like we'll have

to teach all the children to walk upside down but that's not a problem and i'll get to the second part which which i'm glad they went with the ending they went with because the the true first ending features homer in a huge way and it really undercuts the sweet ending of this episode and this was an episode that i for some reason I ended up taping the syndication version and not the one that aired first, the first time. And I think they cut out the whole part where he tries to take the dog to work. So there's even less of that in the syndicated version.

In fact, David, such an incessant scene, I totally forgot it existed. That was a good cut. And I, like, yeah, when I saw it, because I'm more familiar with the syndicated version, I'm like, oh, he's shaking the dog. The dog's going to bite him or something. All right. As the end of the joke. But i'm like oh he's shaking the dog dog's gonna bite him or something all right as the end of the joke but it's just nothing okay i'll take the baby and did love that spider biting the back of bartend too just to

backtrack a little bit but here's another again if if it wasn't for billy and the clonosaurus toboggan ride would be my favorite line before we start i went to catholic school and this line delighted me. Come on, Chalmers. You fired Skinner for less than this. Yeah, I did, but Skinner really bugged me. Besides, the way America's public schools are sliding, they'll all be this way in a few months. I say lay back and enjoy it.

It's a hell of a toboggan ride. Well, cock-a-lee-doo-da-lee-doo, little buddies. Let's thank the Lord for another beautiful school day. Thank the Lord? Thank the Lord? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer. A prayer in a public school.

God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organized religion. Simpson, you get your wish. Flanders is history. That joke has a lot to offend everybody. It's so great. And some of these cut scenes are so buried on the DVD, you actually have to go to the art and animation

to watch the animatic of Act 3. So some of these cut scenes didn't make it to color animation. One of them is of Bart walking Chalmers through the hallway showing him all the destruction. And there's a naked child drawing himself off with the American flag. And Bart's like, look at this. with the American flag and Bart's like look at this isn't this terrible he's like I'm glad to see that student exercising his first amendment right to

desecrate the flag so that could have been one of these lines but also that line just as facts have no place with an organized religion that wasn't part of the original animatic they added that to like sort of like give it another punch I like it I don't know otherwise it makes chalmers

seem too staunch and anti-religious or wait no i mean that makes them more and more just that i wanted i watching this again because i remember the ending not the beginning and that that skinner doesn't recognize yom kippur right so does that in chalmers eyes make him better for being so i get a religious yeah yeah i maybe so he his bible is the book yes it's a nice creation that chalmers is so anti-church and state mixing he's like no nothing related to god i mean that isn't forcing children to pray but it might cross a line to say let's thank the lord you know yeah though i mean i was at schools that were more about graying that line i didn't go to catholic school like you bob but my science teacher in middle school i was around so many students

who were just like she hates christians because she teaches evolution it was really just i realize now it was the parents of the students mad that she taught evolution telling their kids to hate her and it was just like she was, she was a skinny old lady. Like, who cared? But she taught evolution, which is the thing to teach in school. And this was like in 1998 or 97. That's not what Ben Stein told me. He's on TV a bunch.

No facts allowed. Yes, I like how strongly Chalmers says that. And the shocking music and the cameras. A prayer. A prayer. A prayer in a public school i've used that hell of a toboggan ride line several times since the election actually at our old job i would send you that gift frequently yep yeah i say lay back and enjoy it

but we couldn't lay back and enjoy it anymore could we bob that's why we're here and thank you so much for supporting us yes oh i meant to mention right before that scene martin is in his cage they've caged martin and he is singing the toreador song from carmen and that was in barth the genius that's the connection in the very next episode barth the genius that would air that night not the next episode chronologically they go to see carmen so in a very long scene yes god there's so many long scenes in that. And now that we've done this, I wouldn't mind the idea of like, in season 10, we go back and do a new

Talking Simpsons for a first season episode and then be like, holy shit, look at this. Yeah, it's gotta be shocking after all this. Looks like Skinner gets his job back and I just love Chalmers' qualifications for him. Well, I really enjoyed my time here, Superintendent. May the

Lord bless and keep you. Now take it outside, God boy. Oakley doakley. Dirksen took in your shirt. Jaffe spit out that gum. You really think it's a good idea to give that freak his job back? I seem to know the students' names. That's just it.

So we get a very sweet scene of Skinner and Bart have to, you know, come to terms and be like, we can't be friends anymore. This has to end now. And they both put very cute signs on each other's backs. One is teach me and one is kick me. And the original ending, which I'm glad they cut, it's only in animatic form. You have to go to that special feature. That scene is interrupted, the pinning of the notes. Homer crashes through the wall, riding some sort of device. I can't tell because

it's so clouded by all these different layers of paper. And he's screaming, isn't Ned Flanders a jerk or what? And the episode ends. So there had to be more with Homer in the animatic that we didn't see of him planning to outdo Flanders or whatever, but they went with the sweet

ending and it was worth it. It does make no sense that he's in on the planning and doesn't do any of the execution. Yeah, I mean, it's like he was in the room, they couldn't cut him out. Yeah, but it's still such a great scene, but I'm glad they didn't have that and they instead had this sweet ending.

I just like, this became Skinner's catchphrase. Oh, mercy. Almost too cool for yeah that's such a homer captain wacky thing and in any in any other season five episode that would have been exactly how it ended it's another one that feels like they were given a chance to show run one episode and like okay you guys do it and see how you see how it goes and that feels like something Merkin would have totally gone with and that this was so much more tonally close to what season 7 and 8 were

about. Being a young but experienced writer and not using the Homer crutch that's so easy to use like push the Homer button for an instant joke they like taped over the button for this episode he's barely in this show like there are scenes he's in but they're not related at all to the plot they're just like little tiny one-offs to let you know homer still exists but that's basically you might have like less dialogue

than lisa at least in this episode and maybe even marge yeah i think so yeah homer it's it's such a rare underutilization of homer but i like that they i like they went for that yeah i didn't even think about it and that in those terms i'm I'm not sure Homer ever used that little ever again. There's one Halloween segment which Homer has no spoken lines, but that's basically it for no Homers. It definitely feels like a refutation of where the show was in season five

and that they talk about it like Deep Space Homer. They were not fans of it O and W. They wanted to they wanted to ground the show and that is the opposite of grounding the show you're right henry it feels like a season seven episode almost with just how not i mean it's still hilarious it's still it's still weird it's still out there but it's much more grounded and that makes the stakes matter more and it makes things seem more meaningful nobody does anything impossible there's no cartoon level violence which homer

smashing through a wall absolutely would have been yeah and there's so many just observations of regular life yeah it's very that's very oakley weinstein's style which they're so very good at just sitting with these jokes like skinner picking out the detergent things like that really make this episode stand out in season five, which is a good season. This is just so totally different. Yeah. So, again, this is my favorite season five one. I think to this point, boy, Mr. Plow is still kind of my favorite.

But this is top season five for me right now. Yeah. This is number one in season five. And I don't think the next three will beat it. We're pretty close to the end here. Yeah. Homer Loves Flanders is still my favorite episode season just for how bizarre it is.. Yeah. I'm still, Homer loves Flanders. It's still my favorite episode of the season just for how bizarre it is. This is probably my top

five, but it's... It's really good. It's just not stamping. Nothing can be. So this is the... Hey, Mo, look at that better episode. So this is our 100th episode, everybody, of Talking Simpsons. We made it to 100, and we're going to do 100 more, possibly more after that. Don't you worry, and thank you so much for supporting

us. Months ago, I had something commissioned as a gift to give out on our 100th episode to my fellow co-hosts. Sorry, Dave, I didn't know you'd be here. So I commissioned this a few months ago when I knew we'd at least be going to 100. You thought we'd make it this far? Yes, I mean, we were at like 87 when I commissioned this.

And this is before I knew we were going to have a Patreon, and now it's even better, I think, as a celebration of our Patreon, which is doing so great. Patreon.com slash TalkingSimpsons. You made this happen, everybody. We're going to be... We're working so hard.

We have so many recordings scheduled, but this is my gift to my fellow hosts. So for Chris, I want to put these on our page, too, because this is all visual, so... Pictures will be on the page on LazerTimePodcast.com. My favorite Simpsons game is Simpsons Arcade, so I took the liberty of getting everybody Perler bead sprite art. I gave Chris Bart as the devil when you die a devil Bart appears.

I love this. Oh my gosh. This is my spirit animal. And for Henry, it's Bartman. Oh my god. I love this. And I got one for myself Yeah Homer

Oh my god Punching Homer from the arcade So yes These were all I mean we'll have pictures of these On the show post Hopefully But these were made by

Jasmine Kelly And you can find her on Etsy As Top Tier Purlers Go to Top Tier Purlers on Etsy Just search for that You'll find her work She does great stuff It's not expensive

You can get She'll do any kind of Sprite art you want And these are so great And I'm so happy I gave these away Go to Top Tier Purlers on Etsy. Just search for that. You'll find her work. She does great stuff. It's not expensive. She'll do any kind of sprite art you want, and these are so great. And I'm so happy I gave these away on our 100th episode. And we're celebrating our Patreon, too. Thank you so much, Bob. That's so nice of you. It's going to be so easy to hang. This is a memento of all the great work we've done together. You could hang it off your neck, and it would be a purler necklace.

Why did no one say I'm going to hang it on me wool? I think that's a pretty gear joke, Bob. Thank you. That's great. I can't wait to put these up. I'm so excited to have these not sitting in my apartment. I've been waiting to give these away for a month now. And it's a great celebration of ourselves.

And if you allow us to be self-indulgent, thank you. Again, thanks to patrons. I can't seem to get Bob and Henry out of here now. There's so many things happening. Thank you so much. Chris did charge us some rent this week and it was kind of outrageous. I know this is San Francisco but come on. But yeah, patreon.com

slash TalkingSimpsons if you want to support us and you'll see all these things or you'll hear episodes a week early if you're not already. If you can't wait to hear the next one, it's up on there now. And if you subscribe now you will have like 20 things to listen to. Granted, 13 of those are at season one, which we have posted there too. If you're already a Lazer Time patron now you will have like 20 things to listen to granted 13 of those

are at season one which we have posted there too if you're already a laser time patreon you might have heard those before but we're recording so many bonus episodes we have uh recording scheduled for like the weekend to bank a bunch of talking critic episodes you may talking critic happen we're at like 5k now i think i i honestly think we might make that second goal by the end of the summer i would love to everybody because i definitely want to do that show where we talk about just animation each time. I think we'd all love to do that here. Just random episodes of animation. You can make that happen.

Man, thank you very much, Bob. Yes, I'm glad you guys like it. I've been your host, Bob Mackie. You can find me on Twitter as BobServo. My other podcast is Retronauts. Go to retronauts.com or search for Retronauts in your podcast machine. Every week it's a new retro gaming topic. Occasionally an extra episode on Friday, a smaller.

And by smaller, I mean it's an hour-long episode. And together, the Talking Simpsons team, we've done several Simpsons games. As Retronauts episodes, we've done Bart vs. the Space Mutants. We've done the Simpsons Arcade Game and Bart's Nightmare and more to come in the future. So if you're new to the Retronauts, start with those or just pick a topic you like and listen. I guarantee you'll like it. So that's Retronauts on anywhere. You can listen to it with any podcast thing.

Thank you very much. And follow me on Twitter at H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G and that's where I tweet out new episode announcements for this show and also when we post new stuff on the Patreon as well. Though of course if you subscribe to the Patreon you should just be getting updates every time too. And you can get those podcasts in

your podcast device with a special RSS feed that they give out when you sign up. And if you have any extra questions about it, hey, feel free to at me on Twitter and I'll probably reply to it. And I might reply if you leave a comment on LasertimePodcast.com where this show and many others live. Dave and I are supported on Patreon

as well, Patreon.com slash lasertime. Bunch of fun extra stuff for you. I think with both of our Patreons, we pretty much could own your entire day if we did that. Yeah, check out Lasertime. We did a show recently

on the legacy of the Simpsons. I can't promote the farts episode enough. I'm so glad we did that. Thank God we even have a Simpsons fart in there. Go listen. And there's also 30 2010 the

show that looks back 10 20 and 30 years in history uh just like bart said uh we'd be laughing at this show 20 years later where we are yeah that's true and this one it was true it's true thank you so much for listening everyone 100 episodes hooray we'll be back next week with the boy who knew too much see you then wow infotainment