Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - The Front

Episode Date: January 11, 2017

The Simpsons gets very inside in this episode about writing cartoons, while Homer goes back to school to complete his high school education. We cover all this wonky episode in our newest podcast…

this episode of talking simpsons is brought to you by audible and you listeners can go to audible trial.com slash laser time and get started with a free 30-day trial and get a free audio book i heartily endorse this event or product product. Ahoy, hoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, where we all have the boorish manners of a Yaley. I am your host, Bob Mackie, voted most improved odor in 2016, and this is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. And who else is here with me today?

Chris drove the least distance to be here in T-Stem. That's true. Henry Gilbert, it nuts to you. And today's episode is The Front. Ah, this show ain't no good. I like that little sting. And it aired on April 15th, 1993. And Chris will tell us what happened. Texting! What day was it? April 15 it aired on April 15, 1993.

And Chris will tell us what happened. Texting. What day was it? April 15. April 15, 1993. Oh, my God. Oh, goodness, Bobby. When you talk about television ratings,

it doesn't come any bigger than North Carolina playing Michigan in the college football finals. I'm so excited. Indecent Proposal tops the box office and the Arts and Entertainment channel announces a new channel, the History Channel, and neither of which will ever deviate from their... My favorite art and or entertainment is Dog the Bounty Hunter. I'm partial to the Gene Simmons reality show.

I love the history of aliens at Thanksgiving. My favorite thing I've ever seen on the History Channel? Planet of the Apes. Wow. That is technically history. I remember the original comedian's jokes about the History Channel? Planet of the Apes. Wow. That is technically history. I remember the original comedian's jokes about the History Channel was it was the Hitler Channel. Just like you always saw Hitler on them. I believe Dana Gould called it what the Klan does during the day.

They say on the History Channel. Almost said Spitting. It almost happened. Talk about the Civil War and alien sightings. So this episode, let's just get into it. The front. It could be the first bad one since when Flanders failed. Oh, really? I was informed by Dave Rudden on Twitter.

You said this was the worst one you could think of. Actually, I just want to plug real fast. I want to plug our buddy, Bart of Darkness, who gave me the shirt I'm wearing. Bart of Darkness on Instagram. It was Christmas. I ordered Christmas ornaments. One of the... The piece de resistance was Bart and Krusty.

An ornament with Bart and Krusty had never showed up. If not for Bart of Darkness who sent us a care package of cool shirts, which I think you can find at bigcartel.com. I've been wearing them. Yeah. They're great. The new one is from the Bart licensing

where he's just saying, hi, man. Oh, I love that. I love that. It's perfect. But Bart of Darkness, great Instagram account. Thank you, buddy. You made my Simpsons Christmas work. Yes.

Thank you so much. This episode really dropped in my estimation after watching it. It really... It still has funny moments. It's loose. It is so loose. And it reminds me... I was shocked that you guys hated it.

I don't hate this one. I don't hate it. It reminds me of Last Exit to Springfield in that it has these high concepts that are like, this is an interesting pitch. And then they don't do enough with it. Same with Homer running the Union. Homer going back to school to

finish his high school education. That's a whole episode. And they really just like, he gets 60 seconds. Yeah, and I don't hate this episode. I feel it is kind of weak. And they will admit they used every trick in the book because they did not have enough show.

So, of course, we have the extended opening plus the circus couch gag, a Gene and Reese signature time-extending trick. Yes. 90 seconds. We said that before.

There's that couch gag that gets reused where the wall lifts up and it's a giant... It looks like the Family Guy opening. It really does, yeah. And they use that to what? Shave off time? Shave off an extra 20 seconds, really.

If you don't have 20 seconds of jokes in it, then you fill it with that opening. So, yeah. Genre's are very open about that. They're like, yeah, yeah, we did it. We have those two time killers. We have the Ned Flanders short at the end, which is great. That's great.

He had to point out to me that I stopped watching. I forgot that was there. Yeah, me too. I forgot which one it was on. And we also have lots of it, tons of ADR, tons of just ways to save on writing new jokes. It's just like you can see all the weaknesses. Causing screams and saying a joke and a lot of cutaways to like dreams like so many dream sequences and also on the production side of things it this comes right

after the clip show and then they hire a dude who just like the the way he got hired is as adam lapidus explains it the writer on the commentary explains it it was he got lucky in that they're just like look let's just fucking make this so it as they explained it on the commentary in my understanding at least in the old world of sitcom writing you don't write a script to sell that script you write your pilot script or your pitch script to prove you can make a script and they don't make it so he wrote a simpsons he had a writing partner who was this older guy who was from the Cheers, and he was teaching him how, and who was friends with James L.

Brooks. And so he's teaching him how to write. He's like, okay, write a Simpsons script. He sees, he hears the story about Steven Spielberg working with a bunch of 13-year-old kids who sent him an episode of Tiny Toons, and they animated that. This did happen.

Bubz and, nope. no birthday babs and buster go hawaiian that's a great episode too so here's that episode and he then pitches one like what if barton lisa wrote an episode of ishy scratchy he writes this script and submits it to james allbrooks just for him to review and he's like let's make this episode yeah and that's great for adam but i think on the other side of it it shows the desperation they're like we got a script it can be done let's just fucking do it like we're we just did a clip show we need another script and i'm not sure how things are now but every writers guild show at this time needed to accept like two freelance scripts a year to like be a guild show just to give new

writers opportunities so and every season you'll see like um like new writers you've never seen before and we'll never see again just giving scripts to the show it's the rare time in the first seven seasons where a woman writes an episode you're like oh yeah and imagine no women staff writers all right that was uh the blowfish episode the script isn't ushered into production it's shaped by the staff and the person is credited with the script and story idea. Exactly.

So this was heavily rewritten anyway, but Adam Lapidus did it. He never wrote another episode of The Simpsons. If you go to his IDB, hey, look, he got paid.

He worked mainly on Disney shows like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. He's making that Cory in the House money now. Cory in the House money. With the blog money, baby.

Yeah, hey, if he can make it, then do it, man. He's living the high life. He's living the sweet life. Ooh. He's like Zack and Cody. Are they dead yet?

No. Okay. Chris, let's Disney stars have dark, dark secrets. And then you speak about the rewriting. So I doubt, I heavily doubt that Adam Lapidus' original script was this inside. Yes. And I think really the Simpsons writers- Have caricatures of all the real Simpsons writers.

Yeah. So this was just tired writers who were just like, well, I've been waiting for this episode because Bob, you said this thing that I've never forgotten.

They're like, every animated show will do an episode about making an animated show at least one. Simpsons at this point have done like 18. Yeah, yeah.

And in this episode, so in Itchy and Scratchy and Marge, we saw behind the scenes of a cartoon. When they're writing the cartoon, they're actually putting storyboard panels on the wall. In this episode, it is very much like Itchy and Scratchy is a sitcom because The Simpsons is written like a sitcom with a writer's room full of writers and the animation team is separate and everything like that. So, like, it's like a – I remember writing a paper on The Simpsons in college and I called it like a – Simons is a sitcom with the biggest budget you could ever imagine yeah for sure they can go anywhere every celebrity you can imagine can be on that's what and that's what made the show so great it was a sitcom where

like all the limits were were broken so it's a good distinction to point out yeah so it's not necessarily written like a cartoon it's written like a show and Itchy and Scratchy and Marge caricatured all of the directors at the time, the three main ones. This one has drawings of almost every writer on the staff. Who was still on staff when they were producing it. Yeah, no Waldarski and Kogan. No Jeff Martin. No, I don't think he's in there. No, he's there.

Jeff Martin's there. But, well, let's get – Yes, we should start talking about the show. But no Conan, though, because he wasn't there. I mean, well, yeah, why wasn't he there? Yeah, it's difficult. There was some guy who, like, kind of looked like – No, I think that's somebody else.

No, he wasn't in it, yeah. But the show opens with another time killer, but a pretty funny one. Now, Krusty, I hear it's your birthday, so I got your mother's recipe for matzo pie. Hey, I don't do the Jewish stuff on the air. Batayshul bubalash. Dix-nay on the oo-jay. Roll the cartoon. It's so sad that Krusty is ashamed of his roots.

Marge, it happened again what are you going to change your name to when you grow up lois sanborn steve bennett some nice names it's weird that like just a year and a half ago crusty was singing oh mine papa on the air with his very jewish father and i really sold out that episode of like oh you're very openly jewish on that one i think that was very Mike Reese. I would credit that to Mike Reese.

I swear I've heard him on commentary say ixnay on the oojay. To that story's credit like this episode more so than anything we've seen before follows up on a lot

of continuity. Yeah it does. It does. We see a Roger Myers Jr. again. There are more returning characters in this episode

and that's my big problem with it we'll get to it in a second but yeah that Krusty is ashamed of it and meanwhile but that's something a fan does it follows up on story continuity and most of the time the Simpsons writers avoid entirely talking about anything that's ever happened before

as long as I'm crediting jokes to people by assumption those names like lois sanborn and steve bennett those are specifically boring in the way oakley and weinstein named every character in the seasons they oversaw yeah they're very like mr show style jokes where it's like the specificity of just mundanity is what the joke is yeah that's yeah it's true i swear i've heard this. I agree. I've heard this.

Itchy and Scratchy. But like, well, for us, it's like only a year since Itchy and Scratchy were so awesome that you'd have a movie based on them. But now they just suck. Kids, say no to drugs! I could pull a better cartoon out of my head. Hey, whoa! Wasn't that great, kids? That's as bad as the tasteless, itchy, and Sambo cartoons of the late 30s.

Wow. The writers should be ashamed of themselves. Cartoons have writers? Eh, sort of. Oh, yeah. Well, you and I could write a better cartoon than that. Oh, there's your episode. Now I'm old enough to know that that Sambo reference is a clear...

Now we're together. It's a clear reference to, like, well, just when you would see a racist cartoon as an adult, like, oh, that's racist. Like the Sambo cartoons that Ub Iwerks did. Like, he did... Are they... I don't...

I remember reading something about the Sambo books on which they were based, and, like, that, not unlike the Song of the South Tar Baby, nothing patently offensive about the Sambo books on which they were based. And that, not unlike the Song of the South Tar Baby, nothing patently offensive about the Tar Baby, but it got co-opted into this horrible term. I don't know the origins. Well, the Br'er Rabbit and the Tar Baby? Of the actual, I guess the slur, maybe?

I don't know. Oh, no, no, it is a slur now, but so is Sambo. But those were originally children's story books, beloved the world over. I remember some years ago, John McCain got in some trouble because he just used it as a metaphor of like, this is a quagmire. We're stuck in this quagmire. And the harder we try to get out, the more we get stuck in.

Like a tar baby. And then people are like, ooh. Exactly. But he's an old man. He's an old man. And that's like an old folk tale that extends over from fucking Africa. So yes, in 1935... And co-opted by fucking racists and ruined by...

I hate it when people... Just like Pepe the Frog, who's a kind, honest frog, who just wants to get high. So in 1930... I'll shut up. In 1935, after Ub had stopped working with Walt Disney before he came back, he did Little Black Sambo, the cartoon, which is as racist as you can imagine. That's so...

Ub Iwerks' work after leaving Disney is insane. Because there's still no rating system. And his Fritz the Frog stuff, it's really racy for the time. Almost damn near nudity on screen. It's peeping. Yeah, Fritz the frog was real pervy flip the frog flip the frog they're both sex deviants yeah but like the

ob i works up it's it's really well done hard to watch it but like i think they're really fun i think sambo but sambo was so ingrained in pop culture isn't that what denny's was i mean look he didn't create the character Sambo who was just a popular character it's I mean it's just disgusting. For years some asshole from Brooklyn said it about some black dude at one point and then it became a slur and now we can never talk about this poor character that was harmless forever

but I've seen IWorks cartoons they do not hold up very well I watch them you watch them by yourself, you'll feel uncomfortable. You watch them with any non-white person, you'll want to just kill yourself. I'm sorry.

I have them in a playlist that I put on at parties. So we put on music in the background. Like, yeah, that's not going to fly today. Many of George Powell's puppet tunes, if you know what those are, star a small black child where his lips make up about 45% of his body. Sorry, I'm not excusing any of that. I mean, we're just talking about

the history of racism in the industry. I was reading an article about the books that Sambo was based on. And they're apparently like, you know, childlike wonderment, just a kid who wanders around and gets in trouble. Okay, yes.

But not defending the cartoons. Not defending anything. Delete everything I just said. Let's forget about that part. But I never would have got it as a kid. Ever. Yeah. So the thing about cartoons have writers.

Didn't know idea for a while. That is just them just winking so hard at you. That's your first tip of like, this is an insider episode. And I know something from just reading books written by sitcom writers of the 90s and 80s. And I bet it translates to now. They're very offended at the idea that nobody knows writers write these things they just think yeah homer just said a thing or i watched cheers and isn't that sam alone funny i bet he makes up all those words he says like nobody realizes

a sitcom is a stage play somebody wrote it well it's a play like and and like we i love i don't mind talking at length about this because we got a ton of compliments about it last time from people who apparently work in the animation industry but that i didn't really know cartoons had writers from the simpsons were on because i'd seen so many documentaries of like ward kimball and like tex avery and they don't show them as writers they all that termite terrace yeah you see a termite terrace documentary it's like a it's like a dude dressed up as charlie chaplin next to a Termite Terrace documentary, it's like a dude dressed up as Charlie Chaplin next to a drawing board. And it doesn't feel like a writer,

he's an animator. They just drew it until they stopped drawing it and then it was done. And that's how Disney and Warner Brothers worked. The writers were just animators guys or story men or gag people. He was the best gag man in town. Chuck loved working with him.

You don't refer to Chuck Jones as a writer. No. Even though he did. He wrote a lot of stuff but like i saw even even at this point like the idea of a cartoon having writers especially having watched the improvised make-em-ups of animation during this period and i think that's that's the funny joke later on to me like simpsons were almost contemporaries to fucking he-man and like gi joe and like they had every right to take down animation their contemporaries of that nature they are not far removed from it uh and speaking of

well speaking of animation they almost censored some animation right after this bart has the imagination of robbing santa so he's holding it up at gunpoint and originally the sensor was not cool with bart holding a gun even in a fantasy. I think the way they got away with it is it is a Tommy gun which is how all the guns on the Batman animated series were always Tommy guns because you can't find that in your dad's drawer. The handguns are in the opening

but you never see them on the animated show. That's true. But that was one of two censored notes in here. That one didn't get cut. Oh, and they did all eight reindeer in that thing. Henry, we were just bitching about that before. Oh, and Retronauts.

This is a Rich Moore production. He would not not draw a reindeer. But this is the B story. Homer comes clean about his past. He eats soap. An invitation to our high school reunion. Gee, that's odd. They didn't send one to you.

This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past. Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom. Oh, my God. No, the other secret. Marge, I never graduated from high school.

Well, that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap Wait, maybe it does I do like her Oh my god It's very like over the top Well, I mean He's admitting to eating soap

You're like, why would you eat soap? Not to beat the joke to death but like the idea your soaps disappear you would never assume they were eaten by your husband. And another episode, we learn he eats daffodils or something. Bart knows his secrets. Oh, two lips, yeah. I know Homer's plight.

We didn't have sweets in our house. Sometimes the soaps look like chocolate. You also remember the time where like, free sample 11 time. Homer, that's... I tried to bite a gingerbread man ornament. Just, I'm pretty sure it's not a cookie, but why take the risk? When I was a dumb kid,

I, like, licked soap once that said it was vanilla scented. I was like, that didn't taste like vanilla. Smells great. Oh, you... I think I did once because I watched The Christmas Story a lot. A Christmas Story a lot.

Is this really bad? Yes, it is. Neither here nor there, but I tried to... Because I did have soap put in my mouth, like the christmas story so i tried one day god i was an awful kid worse than bart tried to build up an immunity by licking soap all day so like this won't hurt again soap torture and then homer said they have another pig latin joke right after that just like come on in the same act two pig latin jokes the same like two frames of animation too yeah there's a lot of a lot of recycling in there and but that

pig latin is a lengthy way like all right that got us 10 more seconds here here's my big disappointment in this episode at this point roger meyers senior junior junior is. Jr. is the Nazi. But this is him on, what is it, Itchy and Scratchy vs. Marge. Yeah. Hilarious. Now, what in the world is wrong with that, Mr. Simpson? There's nothing wrong with it. Excuse me.

Excuse me. He was addressing me. I know. There's nothing wrong with it. Excuse me. There is. I think that it's a bad influence on children. Give me a break.

I think that is a bunch of baloney. And here's why. In preparing for this debate, I did a little research and I discovered a startling thing. There was violence in the past long before cartoons were invented. I love, love Alex Rocco. He's so great. R.I.P. But we wouldn't play the death jingle for him because he's not in this episode.

He's not in this episode and he comes back later on, doesn't he? He does. Yeah. I mean, did they go to him or not? Well, there's two missing voices. That's what irritates me. There is a new celebrity guest in this episode and two celebrities that don't get brought back to voice characters they have voiced before and voice again. How the fuck did that happen?

So Hank voices Roger Myers Jr. in Itchy and Scratchy Land. But Alex Rocker comes back for the day the violence died season 7 and I think Oakley Weinstein cared more to get it also Alex Rocco is an old man great like having a perfect voice like Moe Green and the

Godfather he's great Hank tries as hard as he can but it's still just a pale comparison yeah like Alex Roccca's voice is so specific here's hank receiving the submission from bart oh wait so bart and lisa write the cartoon first as a kid who dreamed of being a writer i loved any time writing was dramatized on a thing and i dreamed i definitely got from my mom's work when they were throwing it out i got to keep a typewriter once i was like my own typewriter, oh boy. I kind of became

writer-focused the second I got my own keyboard. That's all it took. Like, oh, I can just do this all day. Words can just show up. But they're reading a book on how to write cartoons written by John Schwarzwalder. Yeah, they're getting rich writing cartoons. That's right, yes, which again, another

insider joke. They're very lucky a cartoon just happens out their window. What's the inside joke there, that John Schwarzwelder got rich writing cartoons? Well, the joke is no one knows who John Schwarzwelder is. Only if you've read the credits of the episode do you even know he's a writer on the show. For some reason, over the break, I was watching the Conan serious jibber-jabber thing with the Simpsons writers. And they're talking about him because he eventually chain-smoked so much, he couldn't be in the writers' room. So he got to write. He either had to quit smoking or quit being in the writers' room.

So he got a... It seems like he got a deal to just turn in shit from home and never really had to go through breaking the story stuff that anybody else did. Well, another John Schwarzwalder story is that he would then write in this booth in a diner where he could smoke all the time. And then when the diner went smoke free,

he bought the booth and smoked it home. But is that a jab? If you think of your co-workers, of one co-worker of yours kind of having a better deal. Never having to come into work and deal with... Well, it wasn't at this point. I think it was when he was still with them. That's what I was wondering. It was sort of a jab.

He's not even going to be here to see that we wrote this book gag. He's drawn in the writer's room in this episode. Yes, yes. Which is one of the only pictures that exist of him. Yeah, he looks like a trucker. So we never played Roger Meyer Jr. Homer snipping off her hair is also a total sellout of the character. Yeah.

Oh, is it? I love that gag. I love that gag. But here's Roger Meyer Sr., who we didn't play before, voiced by Dan Castellaneta and not Alex Rocco you call this writing? if I puked in a fountain pen and mailed it to the monkey house

I'd get better scripts but sir at Harvard at Harvard they taught you hit the streets egghead you should have made it and not getting fired all great lines that I would have loved

to hear from Alex Rocco it's like a deeper voice Mo really I mean it's not different from Mo that much and also more inside many of the writers on The Simpsons went to Harvard. Harvard. They're Harvard writers.

That's John Vitti he's yelling at. Yeah. A caricature of John Vitti. Now a famous millionaire. Who wrote the Angry Birds film. But we also, we skipped over what their cartoon was. Yes. We played the clip earlier.

Elvis shooting the television is based on a real thing. Did you do all the research in that, too? I did. Me, too. Well, I had always wondered what it really was, because he hated Robert Goulet. No. Goulet. I believe that story.

No, I read a bunch about it. Me, too. I found very different stories. All right. Well, let me tell the Goulet story. Tell the Goulet. The Goulet story was that Elvis was dating a certain woman who would then go on the USO. She went on the USO tour, and Goulet was on the tour as well,

and made it pretty clear to Elvis, like, I'll get out with your lady, Elvis, on the USO tour. And so Elvis held a grudge against him for a long time, also because he, I believe Elvis wanted to be an Excalibur, the musical that Robert Goulet got famous on. Then he sees Robert Goulet on television, shoots a TV, pulls out his revolver, shoots a TV.

So that is the Goulet story. So I heard that too, and he's attributed to that urban legend about Elvis and just the more I'm nearing a point in my life where I want to do nothing but read about Elvis, because there'll never be another person that famous with that many surrounded by that many lackeys. Yeah.

And the fact that I found stories of him. Yes. Shooting a TV with Robert Goulet. I also found another story of him shooting a TV and winging the girl in the next hotel room at a different point. And then more stories about him shooting televisions. And basically the consensus being he would do that as a joke.

Not because he was mad. That's what I heard. This is one for the graveyard boys. Underneath Graceland was just a shitload of unpackaged televisions and dead televisions. And he'd do it all the time around his friends. And that makes way more sense. That does. It's still as cheap And that makes way more sense. That does.

It's still as cheap as TVs are now compared to then. Couldn't even imagine shooting a TV. Yeah. God, it would weigh like 500 pounds. I see YouTube videos of someone's TV break and I'm like, that's like four days of heartbreak. I couldn't even deal with that. Yeah, I mean, I interpreted it as,

okay, Elvis at this point in his life is whacked out on goofballs, has a lot of guns, so he just shoots at things for fun yeah and there's no real joke to it he's just an out of his mind guy on drugs it's a great joke just not one i expect from an eight-year-old yeah it did confuse me as a kid like why are they referencing this guy who's been dead for 16 years at this point and uh and you can find a clip online from the kurt russell elvis how weird is that that's so insane it's so strange and i also got a new affinity for elvis from listening to the gilbert godfried podcast where he talked to the well the man who directed the

star wars uh holiday special but also who directed the Elvis comeback special. Oh, yeah. And just his story of working with Elvis. John Biner? Is that his name? Yeah, that's right. Yeah, give a listen to that episode.

Wow, really? Now I have to. Hold on, let's break for a little while. No, but their script is rejected. Bart and Lisa's script is rejected. He doesn't read it. He just sees the name as a little kid.

And they rightly feel it's because they're children if they put an adult's name on it. I don't know how a person is supposed to read the age of a person. I guess Lisa and Bart sound like young people. Maybe they're childish handwriting. Is this the real of Grandpa's name? No, it's not.

But the woman who presents it to him is pretty close to the actual real-life Doris Crowe, the script supervisor. And I do love blah blah blah bling bling bling blah. I like that way of saying it. Yeah, so condescending. But if Alex Rocco did it, it would have been so great. Also, I know I've heard script

I've heard TV producers say this you don't send unsolicited work because it goes in the trash because even if it's great if they read it... And use any point of it and it can be tied back to it, you get sued. They owe you millions.

Yeah. Like, yeah, so they just don't read it. No one will read unsolicited work, but this is Grandpa. He has a witty rejoinder for you. Here is the front, which the episode

when I was looking at the list, I'm like, what the fuck is that episode? And this is what it meant. When I read your magazine, I don't see one wrinkled face or single toothless grin for shame to the sickos at modern bride magazine grandpa we need to know your first name you're making my tubes down no we're just curious all right let's see first name first name well whenever i'm

confused i just check my underwear it holds the answer to all the important questions call me abraham simpson grandpa how'd you take off your underwear without taking off your pants i don't know i him giving up like we got knocked. It's a weird joke. It's one of those phrases I've adopted into my own lexicon. I don't know. It's funny they're calling back to his original shtick which was writing cranky letters to the newspaper.

I miss the stereotype of crank. The crank letters were from old people had too much time. Not angry millennials who have too much time. Why do they have all this time? Maybe they don't have jobs. I have one thing to add we didn't mention in the Itchy and Scratchy cartoon. There is a parody of a once-famous production logo.

Yes! The Stephen Jay Cano logo where Itchy and Scratchy are typing on a typewriter. They pull off a sheet of paper and it lands onto the logo. Well, actually, they haven't produced the cartoon yet in the episode, so we haven't gotten to that point yet. Oh, okay. I wrote that down early then i'm sorry but the uh well let's talk about the front the film the front it's one of the rare witty allen films that he didn't write he just stars in it it's a really good dramatization of the blacklist if you don't know about the hollywood blacklist it's a good that's it's a good film that'll teach you about and the fade

out comic from uh ed brubaker right. It's pretty much about that as well. But Zero Mostel does an amazing job in it. He's great. Like, Woody Allen is really good. I didn't even put that connection together.

And it's a great, it is, Woody Allen is an apolitical dude who's friends with writers who are blacklisted and he is selling their scripts to television

on his name. It is one of the few Woody Allen movies where he's not featured lusting after an underage girl. Because he didn't write it. Having watched a marathon this week. We're having like a proxy version of him do that. Like, again, I'm the first, separate the art from the artist,

but why is all his art about that? You can't watch Manhattan anymore. It's impossible. Why is it all about that? It's just so weird. Yeah, it's just so weird. Why do people accept a man like, well, he's dating a 16 year old?

Man and her sisters, whatever works, they're all about Manhattan is the most beautifully shot movie about a pedophile I've ever seen. It's such a romance. But anyway, the front doesn't have any of that baggage. Thank God. It's really good. It's written by blacklisted writers

too. It's one of the best bits. I'm slightly ruining the ending but at the ending in the credits every time somebody who was blacklisted name appears in the credits they go like blacklisted this year, blacklisted this year. And it's this celebration of like we fucking won or we outlasted you

Nixon and McCarthy and all you shitheads. And as we enter the new era of the blacklist I think this is going to be, it's an interesting time to look back at when America became oppressively conservative. That has nothing to do with this episode other than that they take Abe's name and sell script. And wrong Roger Myers likes his script. Is this the Abraham Simpson who wrote the itchy and scratchy episode? Itchy and what? You episode? Is she in what?

Oh, you must be some kind of crazy person. I'm sorry, but we have a substantial check here for Mr. Abraham Simpson. That's right. I did the Iggy. I do like that. I did the Iggy. My favorite saying of Itchy and Scratchy is, that's the greatest Ippy and Tippy I've ever seen.

The Simpsons will be right back. Thank you guys so much for listening, and if you like listening and stuff, it's a good thing this episode was brought to you by Audible. And before I tell you more about it, know that you can go to audibletrial.com slash lasertime and get started with a free audiobook and a free 30-day trial of all Audible is. What is Audible? They've got over 180,000 different titles to choose from,

ranging from audiobooks, comedy albums, radio shows, some of my favorite old-timey radio shows, We'll see you next time. and they have become my go-to place to get audiobooks for an incredibly low cost. So once again, that's Audible, people, and you can go to audibletrial.com slash lasertime and get a free audiobook and a free 30-day trial of the service. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of desjardins insurance i'm standing 20 000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you home and auto insurance personalized to your needs weird i don't remember saying that part

visit desjardins.com care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care? You like Lazer Time shows? Then you might like Bonus Time, Lazer Time's weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash Lazer Time. Here's a taste of what you've been missing. Well, something we didn't talk about on Laser Time was New Year's. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we did a big karaoke all the way through midnight.

Ken and I really kill paper cut every time. Kill paper cut? You guys looked exhausted at the end. Sum 41? Every time. No, we did do Fat Lip, though. Okay. God, that was hard.

You guys walked in right as we started. No, I think I grabbed the mic. No, that wasn't us. It was me and Pat had the mics. I don't know any of this song. Because I, it came like, We like having fun

at other people's expense. Yeah, and the only reason is like, I don't like the song. Suck on my pet turds. Yeah, it's not a good song

and I don't like the mentality of that song. It's such a, it's such a whiny brat song. It's such a like, wise beyond their years. Before white boys are going to mess up your shit.

Yeah. Mess up your shit. But just like, how, like if I was, if I was right now at this age writing a comic about children, that's how they're speaking about themselves.

We love to mess stuff up, dude. Yeah, and it's like, you guys, the 90s already happened. I'm sorry, you're too late. So there's a reference for no one, but they are the river-bottom nightmare band of the M&Otter jug band Christmas where they sing about how bad they are.

We don't brush our teeth to help us stay mean yeah get bonus time laser times weekly full-length uncensored and ad-free patreon exclusive podcasts as well as weekly

full-length movie commentaries wrestling and cartoon video commentaries physical rewards the first season of talking simpson and more at patreon.com

slash laser time starting at just five bucks you'll help us live and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again another part that bugged me in re-watching it was him throwing the thing again at the writer like it's justused. It's so reused. The lighting changes completely. It's a night scene.

Come on. Yeah, and they reused the day scene shot of that. And it's like, you guys couldn't find another place to add 14 seconds? Like, this just completely breaks you from the scene. That joke had to happen. This is so weird. I'm getting those points. Maybe this show isn't lovely because I don't have, like,

something I could easily declare declare line of the show uh but just homer reading off his yearbook this is i'm just gonna throw that the line of the show that's the joke ah my high school yearbook you handsome devil i can't believe I ate the whole thing. Had to have that explained. Activities, none. Sports, none. Honors, none. Yep. So many memories.

Time to go to the reunion. It'll be great to see the old gang again. Patsy, Ralph Mouth, the Fonz. That was happy days. No, they weren't all happy days. The time Pinky Tuscadero crashed her motorcycle. Or the night I lost all my money to those card sharks and my dad Tom Bosley had to get it back.

Martin is just sadly accepting. He's not going to change his mind. I do still love that, but I love being able to point out, if you're 15 years younger than us, you're not going to change his mind. I do still love that, but I love being able to point out, if you're 15 years younger than us, you're not going to get the Happy Days reference immediately. I mean, I didn't really get it then either. Me neither. I tolerated Happy Days, but it was my least favorite.

Yeah, it was on all the time. I don't think I ever watched it until a year and change later when Weezer popularized it with Buddy Holly. I had to learn that my dad's like, why are you watching Happy Days? I'm not an asshole. It's Mork and Mindy. Who cares about Happy Days? I would watch.

I would prefer that. It was on Nickelodeon as opposed to everything else, like in the middle of the day. What are we talking about? But I hated yearbooks. I came to hate yearbooks. I thought I'd like yearbooks when I saw them as a concept. I just looked at my old junior high yearbook like my mom got it like, hey, I brought this with me. Lookie there.

I was like, I hate me and I hate these memories. And goodbye yearbook. It just made me mad aspiring to nothing in high school and having no accolades of any kind and not being involved in any club and literally being kind of invited into a school because i was good at soccer but i quit because i liked being morose and pot more they called chris the white paley whaley and i but and they kept trying to get me to join the star i'm not joining your stupid soccer team nirvana's awesome you're gay and like that was me in high school and i didn't do anything anything ever and i'm just sort of like i don't know bummed out by that now i want to kickstart a project i have no idea

how to do it because i didn't i wasn't involved in any groups or clubs i just faked my way through school chris it's easy i was very confused by i can't believe i ate the whole thing which is like a tums commercial hey it's alka-seltzer yeah if you saw i eventually would see clips of classic commercials and see that one. And it's famous. It's just this guy who's up late at night with indigestion. He's like, I can't believe I ate the whole thing. Like, he ate a giant sandwich.

And his wife is like, you ate it, Ralph. We should get to that, too. Because you mentioned Steve and Jay Connell Productions. When they show one of the Itchy and Scratchy shows, they have a, what do you call that? Production logo. A production logo parody. And it's so on the nose that I'm like, this is really more of a Family Guy joke. Because Family Guy did it too.

Yes, they did do it. They did the exact same joke. They did the exact same joke. And I was watching Family Guy just last night. And it's just Peter, so drunk. And he's incoherent. And like, ah, fuck you. And he's like passing out. peter go to bed he's

like race we always say we didn't steal from the simpsons but we stole a lot it was so good we'll make that joke but then continue stealing uh also i never watched i'll chalk it up to parallel thought this isn't a great reference. Yeah, I know. I mean, it's cute. It's cute. I didn't watch every episode of Happy Days, but I double checked. I checked this online.

I could not find one episode where Pinky Tuscadero crashes her bike or Cardshark steal Richie's money. We get a sound effect for the dedication award and give it to Henry there. I mean, maybe it did happen in an episode, but I could not find one. Well, here's the logo they're referencing. Yeah. I had to get some of that.

Steve and Jake and Al Productions did the A-Team. That's from Hart and McCormick. Yeah, Hart, Castle,

and McCormick. Hart, Castle, and McCormick. Yeah. The commission. Riding like the demon. A ton of 80s stuff.

And there's a, did you see the montage online? Yeah, they update his look and his typewriter and stuff throughout the years. It's so vain and crazy beautiful to watch as his temples get grayer and the Emmys start to surround him more. They reshot it like every year of him throwing the paper from the typewriter behind him. Bring that crane in my office, it's time. I do like that quite a lot, though I always preferred the one at the end of, cheers, sit

ubu sit. Good dog. That was a great one. When they go to the reunion, I actually really like it because it is a sequel to The Way We Was, and it is their 20 well, the math doesn't work out, because it is Welcome Class of 74, because

that did happen in 74. But so they are having that reunion in 1993. Maybe. I can't explain. I do hope someone got fired for that. It's not. It's a 19 year recall of L.A. School of Union. I don't think so. From the episode The Way We Was, this is Artie Ziff from that

episode. Barge, this may Artie Ziff from that episode. Marge, this may not be the most appropriate forum for what I'm about to put forth, but would you go to the prom with me? Well, I can think of a dozen highly cogent arguments. Now, the first is from Time Magazine, dated January 8, 1974. That is the most subdued John Lovitz. It's his first time. I mean, everyone was very low-key in season two and one. Yeah, and this is Artie Ziff coming back for this episode, I guess the first time?

First appearance, yeah. But he's been back several other times. I think the next time will be season 14, the Ziff who came to dinner. Well, we'll do that, but let's hear this. Half-decent proposal. Let's hear this clip first. Oh my God, it's my old boyfriend, Artie Ziff. Hello, Marge. Have you heard?

I'm stinking rich. Jealous? I'll bet you'd trade it all for one night with my wife. I would. Homer! As you said in the history yeah that's right the movie's not out yet the movie is out this week it was based on a book so the book and i think but i remember like the the man i feel so old talking about a decent proposal how it was highly controversial how woody harrelson is approached by robert redford for, to give him a million dollars for a night with his wife.

And that movie came out like the same week as this episode, essentially. Demi Moore, right? With Demi, Demi Moore. I didn't mention Demi Moore. Uh,

but like, it was like hugely controversial in the news. Like they're going to make a, they're going to make a movie out of this indecent book. Adultery. It says indecent in the title. It's giving you a warning. Come on.

But I, I did think that was, I, that's why I put it in there. I thought it was kind of ironic. Do you want to talk about how they actually made this into an episode, Henry? So, when you listen to the commentary, you can see them realize they should do... Like, Al Jean is like, we should do this episode. And so, they hear the joke.

And then, when they actually bring back Artie Ziff in season 13, which was being produced when they recorded this commentary. You think so? Oh, for sure. Aljean says it in the commentary. Then they bring him back. Wow. And he makes an indecent proposal to Marge. And I think he has a private island.

Eventually he would become a dot-com failure and be bankrupt. But at this point he's had money. He'll damage the town. And he recreates the prom at his like private island. It's been years since I've watched it. It's not a great episode. But I love that like so Artie Ziff's first appearance, very subdued. And Dan Castellaneta's performance is on par with like my or anybody else's John Lovitz impression.

I'm John Lovitz. I'm John Lovitz. I'm John Lovitz-y. I also like the cuteness of that do the hustle scene because that was the exact animation of the time they danced to do the hustle in the way we was when they took the study break when she was teaching in French. They're both presenting like mammals up to each other's butts. They bounce their butts together and the camera moves up the exact same way. There was care in animating it the same way. I didn't notice that.

That's awesome. By the way, the class clown, on the commentary, they alleged that they heard that Hank Azaria was that guy in high school. So Azaria playing him in this. Because his hairstyle is so specific to someone who never left the 70s.

I don't like this character, though, because I feel like there's no hook or twist to him. It's just like he's just presenting these jokes straightforward. And the joke is that Homer's explaining them to Mark. If you're someone, again, younger than us, you'd have to explain who these people are to him. I mean, I needed the explanations. I didn't know who Richard Nixon was when I was nine. I think the joke is that class clowns are never funny.

They're just reference machines. And so they grow up to, the class clown grows up to not be a comedy writer like the great comedy writers on the show. That's true. We're all introverted nerds. Yes. They grow up to be the same loser before. But also, I love the joke of Homer constantly explaining obvious references to Marge. And Marge is like, I know.

Except for the one that I never would have got. Cheech and Chong was something I was not exposed to at this point. But that's where the Dave's not here thing comes from. Hey, man, it's Dave. Open up, man. Dave's not here, man. Okay, now let's move on. The guy's so high, he doesn't even know that's Dave.

Homer. Homer? Homer's not high, he doesn't even know that's Dave. Homer. Homer? Homer's not here, man. Okay, very good. Now let's get on with our really big show. Ed Sullivan. Shh. I do love that.

And the Cheech and Chong reference. Dan Castellaneta would write an episode for Cheech and Chong to appear in in 2011. Oh, that's right. Where Homer teams up with Cheech after Chong quits. Oh, man. And then they get together. It's just a love letter to Cheech and Chong,

which I'm like, sure. That is one of those things. I've watched a ton of those movies. It's fine to cast those into the ocean. Oh, the movies suck. I got a lot of fun out of the records when I was a a kid i like i played my mom's old records a lot and i love those even though i didn't get into drugs until much later there's one movie that's just them doing their songs and i think that's really funny um but yeah cheech and chong man the

corsican brothers can just rot in hell forever how could they even make that was like comedy central afternoon fodder for like eight years aren't here man that was bad uh but homer is eventually shamed all those awards and i like that he recognizes he's in a rut he's like and the person who traveled the least distance to be here well kiss my grits homer simpson Homer Simpson. What can I say? It hasn't been easy staying in my rut. Class of 74, I was just leafing through your permanent records when I discovered something shocking. Homer Simpson never passed Remedial Science 1A and thus never graduated from high school.

I'm sorry, Simpson. I'm going to have to take back those awards. What a petty principal, by the way. We have the return of Dondlinger. Well, Dondlinger rightly hates Homer. I don't mind him. And, you know, I did mention it before, but Homer not graduating does fit within. He doesn't say, I'm not going to pass this class.

But Homer says that he was embarrassed by Marge and avoided her all the rest of the school year and is going to have to hopefully make it up in the summer. By never going back to school. Clearly he didn't make it up in the summer. That's a great payoff. I respect that. It does fit, and it's Dondlinger again. We have a scene, though, after this where Barney gets off pretty light.

It's like his cummerbund fell in the toilet. We've seen Barney dressed as a baby, getting his diaper blown off, and meeting his mom at the same time. I mean, having your cummerbund fall in the toilet is embarrassing, but Barney's been through so much worse. Barney has a cummerbund. Do you? Do you, Henry? No, I don't. I have no reason to have one.

I'm just saying. And it's quite— Barney does. But it also shows you how cheap that joke is. Like, who's the guy who asked him that? Who is that guy? He's nobody. That's right.

He's not one person. They could have at least like, couldn't they have just found one? Oh, no. Somebody else. Yeah, he says, where's your cover button? I'm thinking there's no other Simpsons character in the high school with him at that time, right? It's a lot later. Because he says at one point, the old gang.

I'm like, who the fuck was the old gang? His friend was Barney. Barney, yeah. Later they retconned Lenny and Carl being their friends. Yeah, fuck that. Fuck that, man. That's stupid. Hey, all my work friends are way stronger than my high school friends at Carl being their friends. Fuck that. That's stupid. All my work friends are way stronger than my high school friends at this point.

I have no high school friends. Abe gets to say his line about my chest hurts, which is kind of his reaction. He does. I don't know. This is what leads me to believe the Simpsons writers had something to do with it because they seemed to make fun of themselves pretty proficiently. All right, leeches. I want you to see what a good writer looks like. His name is Abraham Simpson, and he's got something you couldn't get at your fancy schools.

Life experience. Actually, you know, I wrote my thesis on life experience. Quiet! That's LG. Hey, tell them about your amazing life. I spent 40 years as a night watchman at a cranberry silo. Wow. So?

We learn a lot about Abe. I like the reaction. Wow. Wow. Okay, so so much is happening here. They go into the Simpsons writers' room, which is as shitty as it looks in the cartoon. Again, the serious jibber-jabber thing has it. And for this picture, they brought in standees of the characters because that's the only decoration yes those were not there

yeah there is a there's an air conditioner in the window yeah it looks like a therapy session yeah it's horrible and based on what you hear i bet it smelled like fast food grease and farts just like a bunch of men single men writing cartoon jokes eating fast food all day and cigarettes yeah and so they pan across and you can see them all there's schwartz welder yeah uh A bunch of men, single men, writing cartoon jokes, eating fast food all day. And cigarettes. And cigarettes, yeah. And so they pan across, and you can see them all. There's Schwarzwelder. Yeah. Jeff Martin.

Al Jean. Al Jean. Mike Reese. Mike Reese is fatter. He talks about it on the commentary. They're like, oh, that's you. Oh, that sucks. No, that's Sam Simon.

I'm the other one there. I've gotten pretty fat. That's somehow worse than a picture. You have an animated version of you that is skinnier. He said that's how he realized it. He got fat. Every writer says on the commentary, if you don't get fat on The Simpsons, something's wrong with you because you are

just sat in a room all day. The only fun you get is to eat garbage while shit sat in a room all day. There's a funny anecdote on the commentaries too where Dan Castaneda was going to voice Al Jean's counterpart. And he's like, what are you doing that crazy nerd voice for? I don't sound like that. He really does sound like.

Al Jean is very. He's a little sensitive about his voice, which is very nasal. Yeah. I'm going to hug him, then dump his books every time I hear him. I'm Al Jean. You can actually hear Al Jean punch a guy in the commentary for making fun of his voice. He's like, you didn't like his voice. He said he didn't recognize he said it was too nasal.

He's like, yeah, that's right. And we see we see Schwarzwalder and they make a joke on the commentary about how there's an arrow pointing to his character design where his gut is. And it says guts. And I think the animation reason for that is to let animators know you paint that a different color like that is flesh but he still has a giant like pot belly like blasting through his shirt and they that hurt they're like oh that's kind of mean especially when conan says about that job about schwartzwelder at that time that he says that he was a handsome guy that if you had dressed him up oh a 1910 policeman, he'd be the most handsome 1910 policeman. Conan certainly has a type.

And so, yeah, they just, they, Al Jean's voice really gets it in this, but I wonder what the first version of that voice was. And they kind of cheat too, because it does not take six to nine months to make Itchy and Scratchy happen. It happens like overnight. I don't know if they're, We see that they're doing it overseas in Itchy and Scratchy the movie, but apparently they can fast track it to Mexico or something.

I don't know what's happening. Wasn't it amazing that like what they animated was exactly what Bart and Lisa imagined? They animated it perfectly. You can also tell from the Nicotine Patches jokes, at least some of the writers were using Nicotine Patches. Yeah, they were a new thing. My stepdad had them at this time, and it was like, wow.

But he's still smoking this joke. Because Grandpa doesn't even know this is happening. Dad, can we talk to Grandpa alone for a minute? All right. But if he starts to wig out, try to lure him into the cellar. Then we put your name on the script and sent it in. Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for doing

absolutely nothing? I figured because the Democrats were in power again. Boom. What? That's also a joke the Free House of Four or Two is like. I don't need it. I don't want it. But if it doesn't show up, I'll raise hell.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm not in the mood for jokes about Democrats giving away tips. Here, how about Homer being dumb? Yay. All right. Here are your exams. 50 questions.

True or false? True. Homer,, here are your exams. 50 questions. True or false? True. Homer, I was just describing the test. True. Look, Homer, just take the test and you'll do fine. False. That's a very, very vaudeville thing. I love those.

But Chris, you skipped one of two consecutive fantasy sequences in which Abe is in drag. Yeah, I know, I know. And is seducing men. In this one, it's two cowboys. In the next one, it's Hitler. Yeah. I got Hitler. Sein boob men. In this one, it's two cowboys. In the next one, it's Hitler. Yeah. I got Hitler. I'm boobie.

Das is not I'm boobie. Two episodes in a row, he's dreaming of being in a dress. You also didn't get it, but the little song Grandpa sings in Homer's vision. It's so cute. I got another instance of Homer's brain speaking to him. just like la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la I feel like I say that when I write every day. That's true. I think my favorite joke in the episode actually comes from the eight seconds they spend at Homer in night school. But when Don DeLinger is talking about how he just lost his wife and Homer says, like, is this – will this be on the test? No. And he just goes, well, him erasing dead wife.

It's all that's written on one page in giant letters, dead white. So bloody dead white. But you cut to the award show of... Okay, so Abe becomes a popular enough writer that Krusty is introducing episodes. Yeah, that's when I had that for the episode intro clip. And now here's another fine, itchy, and scratchy cartoon by Abraham Simpson. It's beautiful to think of a cartoon writer that prolific

that children would scream when his name is announced on a clown TV show. And that skinless scratchy is one of the scariest images. It's horrifying. I think of that whenever I'm on an escalator. Yeah, me too. Just getting my skin ripped off by it. It's like a Freddy Krueger kill almost.

And then it always looks so weird when they draw humans with Caucasians in the Itchy and Scratchy cartoons. That was very, because it's, couldn't they just be dogs? Does that happen before?

Why do they have to be people? Did that happen before? I can't think of a human. I had that as a note that like, these are the only real white people you see are in the Itchy and Scratchy

cartoon. The feminists. Even that's weird. The anti-fur feminists. Yeah, it's very strange because you don't see that color palette on a human being the entire show. Like literally, instead, actually,

we see that when Homer imagines Bart and Lisa as realistic humans and that's it. Yeah. In the next season. And there's also, I like that they are hanging a lantern as comedy writers would say on the fact that they're not explaining anything. Where, well, formerly Alex Rocco says to him, hey, we're only, I fired all the other writers.

It all rests on your delightful little coconut. Oh, no, I'm a fraud. What was that I was listening? And I got to go now. Yes. That's them going like yeah this doesn't make sense but fuck it it's kind of ambiguous throughout if abe actually knows what's happening because in the beginning he doesn't know what his name is and we're not sure if he's being

tricked or if he knows he's just getting checks for doing nothing and bart and lisa are actually doing this there's a cut scene that explains that he does know yeah oh there is we'll get to that after the show okay but i this is i love crusty here, but again, it irritates me that they have a celebrity guest star and didn't bother bringing back people who voiced big, crazy characters. Oh, before we get to that, sorry, I forgot. There's one bit of history, too. I wanted to say. Ah, yes, I have one as well.

So when they're dressed, so when the lines are all off, so it's clearly ADR'd, Abe says to think that a man who once took a shot at Teddy Roosevelt could earn your trust. Now, that did really happen. Teddy Roosevelt, while he was running for his third term in the Bull Moose Party, which he did not work. It was the first third party, really, the most successful third party to that point in American election history. So he is shot by a saloon keeper named John Schrank. Schrank.

Dracula from Nosferatu? And Schrank's reasoning was that no man should be president three terms. He was wrong. Then he said, paint my chicken coop. So he shot him in the chest, and the chest hit his glasses cape and glasses case wow and his rolled up speech wow but he's also still bleeding like it did hit him it just slowed it down but teddy says like it'll take more than a bullet to stop this bull moose and he gives an hour-long speech and then leaves and then gets medical treatment i'd go for him again if i could

but he but so that that's what really happened. My historical contribution, whenever they're walking around itchy and scratchy studios, you'll see a font and an awning that is a reference to Walt Disney's Burbank Studios. That's right. Very clearly that doesn't entirely exist anymore. And that repeating backgrounds joke doesn't

work with the animation in the background. They wouldn't spend that much money to repeat a background. So we have two great animation jokes in a row. We have Strongdar, Master of Akon. I just love... Well, this is also a slam on award shows.

And now, to present the award for Outstanding Writing in a Cartoon Series, Krusty the Clown and Brooke Shields. Brooke Shields, Brod, you could have gotten your love at some Rocco. Well, here we are. The star of the Blue Lagoon and me, the Blue-Haired Goon. What the?

That's terrible. Cartoons have the power to make us laugh and to make us cry. Wouldn't you agree, Krusty? First of all, my hair is green, not blue. I got nothing to work with you nothing i think that's the actual reaction of a writer reading that line in the script i'm getting mad about it in the writing room uh i recall me and my mom both joking laughing at this like yeah his hair his hair is green it's green i think they really greened it up though

for that scene that is true it maybe is blue buted it up, though, for that scene. That is true. It maybe is blue. But wasn't it a dark joke that Grandpa asked Bart and Lisa to get him in escorts? Yeah. That's an onion in the ointment. He's not covered with her insurance. That would have been my line of the show, onion in the ointment. But this is Brooke introducing the nominees. Man, I don't know if we talked about this a bunch before. These are kind of out of time.

Well, they're mocking one current thing But the other two things they're mocking are just 80s cartoons The nominees for best writing In a cartoon series are Action Figure Man The How to Buy Action Figure Man episode Please mommy I want it I love the mom's stern look

I don't know about this Ren and Stimpy, season premiere. Flip not done yet. Take that, John Kay. And finally, Itchy and Scratchy, the little barbershop of horrors episode. Cross my fingers for me. That's going to hurt come winter. Oh, so many good old man lines.

So Ren and Stimpy, season two, clip not done yet. Infamously, John Kay was fired in, I believe, August of 92 because they gave him so many chances, but he delivered one of a promise, I think, 10 or 20 episodes. It was ridiculous. Yeah, and it was the one that was too hot for TV, but not really. It was just a good excuse to fire him. If you look up the Laser Time episode, Creators Fired, I go on a 20-minute insane rant about how i just read sick little monkeys which is a really i don't know eye-opening story about how modern television animation works

maybe not so much modern now but like of that age of that of that renaissance yeah it kind of helps just the importance of storyboarding yeah and layout. A cable company had never done original programming to that extent before too. So Nickelodeon was learning things. Oh yeah. Original animated programming

to that extent. It makes John K. look like a dick but I completely put some of that on Nickelodeon for not knowing how the production of their own cartoon

was supposed to work. And Nickelodeon did not want Ren and Stimpy but the executive in charge of Nicktoons was like, I will put my job on the line.

This will be great. This will be popular. will be popular and it was Not wrong yeah But it is such a Specific and mean joke You heard about that For laser time Henry and I think we discussed Drunkenly to bar one time

Animated feuds that ended up In the product The grudges in it and yeah it was He took a swipe at them first. He bad-mouthed everybody. And everybody, because he was like, I'm king of the world. I'm the genius of cartoons, and everything I say is right. And I can make two cartoons a year, so someone hire me.

So yeah, the Simpsons were right to take a swipe at him. It shows, it's evident of a smaller world. It's like if Pendleton Ward of Adventure Time came at Seth MacFarlane. They're like, we're not competing. One of the South Park guys is attacking Seth. But back then, it was like all the primetime animated shows, or the cable animated shows were sort of on an even level, where there's like four.

And Ren and Stimpy was still huge. Season two, lots of tons of great episodes. Yeah, whenever they talked about Ren and Stimpy, yeah ren and stimpy was still huge yeah season two lots of tons of great episodes yeah whenever they talked about ren and stimpy like i always say whenever they write it whenever they would write about the simpsons in the early 90s they'd mention the flintstones because there was nothing else to compare it to yeah whenever they were about ren and stimpy they're like they'd have to write up the simpsons and they're so not the same but they were part of the same era and phenomenon yeah it's like cartoons aren't for kids anymore i wonder what the in general what the animators thought of this episode because this episode seemingly writers make animation

and not animators it is so writer focused we don't see any of the actual artistry happening so i wonder what like rich moore thought of this while animating it and uh and then the ending really is just out of left field and just really to end it. Like Abe sees the cartoon and realizes how violent it is. And by the way, two seasons ago they did an episode of defending cartoon violence to an extent. And now this ends with a certain level of sermonizing. The message is so weird. I don't really get it, what they're trying to say. I think they were trying to get in the episode.

That's basically it, yeah. It was the first time I ever saw Itchy and Scratchy. And I didn't like it one bit. It was disgusting, yeah. It was the first time I ever saw Itchy and Scratchy, and I didn't like it one bit. It was disgusting and violent. I think all you people are despicable. For shame! He's right. We've been wasting our lives.

The hell with cartoons. I'm going to do what I've always dreamed of. I'm going to write that sitcom about the sassy robot. So Matt Groening did do that. He wrote that sassy robot. And that's Al Jean and Mike Reese, and they wrote a sitcom about a sassy angel. They wrote the sitcom Teen Angel for TGIF after leaving The Simpsons. They would quit this season. They're on their way to quitting when they're animating them quitting.

I do want to watch one episode of teen angel to see if there's any of that gene and reese like bite to it there's got to be at least like one joke episode the kids i only watched first episode in the first episode the kid's friend dies like he eats a he eats a pet sandwich dead and that's like that's how you start the show i mean that's how he becomes teen Angel, right? And then his mom is played by Mrs. Ben Stiller in Braving. Is it Dean Taylor? Yes, that's right. If I may be Henry or comic book guy for a second.

Okay. It's the first time Abe is seen itchy and scratchy. We now know they date back to the era Abe was wearing dresses in World War II. Yeah. And there was literally nothing else to watch. Okay. In this case, the same with saying like, oh, well, Abe said his job was literally nothing else to watch. Okay. In this case, the same with saying like,

oh, well, Abe said his job was at the cranberry silo, but another time he says that Abe is an unreliable narrator and nothing should count as canon because Abe remembers it.

He remembers nothing. He can't remember his name again at the beginning of this episode. Like, what's my name? Look at my underpants. So if Abe says that, then you don't know. And then extra tacked on is the ending.

Like Homer saying, hey, I did pass the end. Like, and just so you get some closure there. You pretty much forgot that even happened. A flash forward to 2024, which is coming up in, Jesus Christ, seven years, right? Seven years, right when Trump finishes the second term. Third term, yeah. And then we still need to kill some time, so here's a Ned Flanders short out of nowhere, which will never happen again, to my knowledge. I love that.

I love it. I love this. It's great. It's great. I love that. I love this. He's a boosters. He's a ganders.

Everyone else loves Ned Flanders. Not me. Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders. So crazy. What the fuck? Like, Dave had to remind me this was in the episode after you tweeted you didn't like it. And like, that wasn't in the episode. It's like, yeah, it's at the very end.

I like parts of this episode. And this is what I like the most, I think. This is my favorite. This is a good. This isn't a bad episode. But where did this come from? I get that it's a parody of cartoons. No, it's a comic book parody, really.

So, in Archie comics and in other gag comics, and this would rarely happen in superhero books, but in gag comics, sometimes your story ends before you're done and you've got to fill 22 pages. Or you've even not filled half a page. Well, what are we going to do? All right, a quick comic strip style gag of just a quick joke to fill that space and then you're finally done and that's the same deal they came up with just a quickie joke that was done in archie comics back then of like reggie starring in date mistake yeah but they would have they would have tacked this on to an episode were it

not about animation or writing for cartoons. No, no, this is just time. They needed to kill time. So this is just wasting time. 20 seconds, they don't have to write anything else to the main story. I don't hear any joke. I love this scene. We can play it, yeah.

There's only one. Love that God. Knock that off, you two. It's time for church. We're not going to church today what you give me one good reason it's saturday oh man and that logo is even very archy it really really is. So, okay. I love that bit. In season five and onwards, we need to figure out what to do with deleted scenes because there's at least one per episode.

But on this DVD set, there's like maybe three episodes they have deleted scenes for. And this is one of them. So I want to go over what was on those deleted scenes, if you don't mind. So the first one, Roger Myers dictates a letter to Bart and Lisa. It's them reading it. And Lisa's saying, I know this word, but what's Shinola? So he's saying you don't know shit from Shinola. Why wasn't that kept? Unless it

was a censor note. It probably was, Henry. So there's another one that I think is a good joke. You can't even conjure the image of shit in the audience's mind. They're so desperate for time. They needed that joke. There's like three minutes of cutscenes, maybe two. So this is a good joke, but I think it relies on a movie nobody knows. So they cut it out so homer is pledging to finish high school to

marge which is like a very important scene i think that we don't see so homer says you know that movie about the woman who fell off the mountain i think it was called don't fall off the mountain and marge says what's your point and homer says i will learn to ski i mean graduate high school and he was he was referencing the movie the other side of the Mountain about a skier who fell off a mountain. Apparently it was very popular in the 70s, so it's a 70s reference. Yeah. We have a scene of Abe calling Itchy and Scratchy Richie and Kathy, which just comes out of nowhere. There's a scene of Jim Reardon blowing up a real cat with dynamite for reference.

That was cut by the censors. They did not like that animal island. It's part of the animation tour. Like, how do you get these great, scenes happening and they oh wow him putting like dynamite in the cat's mouth and then they cut away and we just hear an explosion there's one scene in here where it shows that abe knows what's happening and he's thinking of ideas like pacing back and forth and telling lisa and then he says i'll just sit in the corner and play with my teeth after they yell at him and uh there's great line. And there's a final great scene

where Roger Myers Jr. fires Abe after his tirade, after his rants. And he says, I don't need your stinking money. And then he says, can I have a nickel for the trolley? So there's like five cut scenes. I like all of these.

Yeah, they're all, these could have all fit into the show if they needed time. For a show that's desperate for time, that has so many lines in it. Yeah. The Ned Finder scene was their inspiration for 22 short films about Springfield. Oakley and Weinstein love that bit so much.

Like, what if we just had, like, just a bunch of short jokes interconnected? I always wish they had done that. Yeah, that's why I was confused. Is this the only one? Because, well, they did it with Cletus. Until 22 short stories, this is the only one. You know know so in conclusion

I think this episode I remember liking it a lot more than when I rewatched it I just see a lot of weaknesses now and just like it's slapdash unfinished thoughts a lot of recycled animation and redone lines but there are still a lot of funny

stuff in it and I do like how deep it goes into the inside jokes of making The Simpsons. In the words of Homer, it's just a bunch of stuff that happened, I think. True! That's really, that sums up this episode well. So yes, that was Talking Simpsons, everybody. I've been your host, Bob Mackie. You can find me on the internet

as BobServo on Twitter. I also write for SomethingAwful.com and Fandom.com every day. And my other podcast is Retronauts, a classic gaming podcast you can find every Monday at retronauts.com or search

for Retronauts in your podcast machine. You'll find it. Almost 200 episodes of great stuff. Mm-hmm. Laser Time is where this show started and where

the show continues to exist at lasertimepodcast.com. But if you want to support us and this show, patreon.com slash lasertime. You get an.com. But if you want to support us and this show, patreon.com slash lasertime. You get an exclusive show every week.

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tune in next week for when we start our whacking everybody see you then Wow Infotainment