Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Whacking Day

Episode Date: January 18, 2017

We meet Superintendent Chalmers for the first time, Bart gets home schooled, and Lisa battles against animal cruelty in one of season 4’s best episodes! Listen along to hear our podcast thoughts…

this episode of talking simpsons is brought to you by casper mattresses and you listeners right now can go to caspertrial.com slash laser time to get 50 towards any new mattress i heartily endorse this event or product product. Ahoy, hoy, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, where we've been called distasteful and puerile by a panel of hillbillies. I'm your host, panicky idiot Bob Mackie, and this is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. And who is here with me today?

Transparent Toadie, Chris Santista. Henry Gilbert, and unlimited love to y'all. And today's episode is Wacking Day. I am Evil Homer. I am Evil Homer. I am Evil Homer. I am Evil Homer. It's lovely. Evil Homer finally killed Good Homer. I am Evil Homer. I am Evil Homer. It's lovely. Evil Homer finally killed Good Homer. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

What a great episode. Yes. So this episode aired on April 29th, 1993. And Chris, tell us what happened on this mythical day in history. Bobby, on the lighter side of things, David Koresh in 85. Other people are dead after a holier-than-thou standoff. Home Improvement tops the TV ratings. And guess what?

Best of all, the Lollapalooza bill has been announced. Arrested Development, Alice in Change, Fishbone, Front 242, Primus, and Rage Against the Machine will be touring around the country this summer. I was too young for that. I'm sorry. I didn't know who David Koresh was as a kid either. I did know they did a making copies joke. Oh, no way.

It was, yeah, they did a making copies joke where the guy was staying at Koresh's place in SNL, didn't they? I remember that one. I'm sure they did. And I mean, I don't mean to side with a cult leader with child brides or anything, but what happened to that situation was incredibly fucked up.

And you should really read up on it to realize how our government failed and Janet Reno still got to keep her job. Really messed up. That's a libtard being, yeah. Libtard being, what do you call it, combative towards another Democrat. Love is love. You can do that. So today's episode is Wacking Day, and I want to say this was an idea by George Meyer. The episode was written by John Swartzwelder, but Wacking Day is a real thing.

What? It's a parody of the Rattlesnake Roundup in Sweetwater, Texas, and the snakes are not clubbed. They are rounded up and burned alive. Holy shit. And it still happens. And I believe there are other sorts of whacking digs where snakes are killed in different ways but in the sweetwater texas one which george meyer was writing about or pitched rather uh they are burned alive this episode won a genesis award for uh you

know showcasing the cruelty to animals that happens every day yeah and i'm vegetarian by the way so i am standing above all of you on my moral high ground it's still happening though i mean texas ain't gonna to change. I mean, isn't there still that place called N-Word Head? Yeah, Rick Perry's Lakehurst Ranch. We are a bunch of doily weapon liberal city folk. I've got to change my dress. Yeah, like from the south, there are a bunch of rituals that involve animal killing.

Some of the ones I remember are reduced, like they're built to reduce populations of certain things, and I don't know as someone who doesn't like needless killing of animals where to stand on that. I would say once lynching got outlawed, they had to have an outlet somewhere. And I say that I was born

in Arkansas, so I can make fun of the South, alright? And I wasn't, but I still can. But they do this in Australia too with cane toads because they are an invasive species. They don't belong there. They were put there to destroy another species Dropped off by Bart. Yes in 94, that's what happened. But it's sort

of my dad's gig that it's to not make another species invasive They do go on ritualistic killings of alligator and deer in Florida. With the frogs, though, they're killed humanely by gassing them. So they're not being burned alive, for Christ's sake. Come on, people.

Get to watch their favorite movie. Yeah. So after whining about the last two episodes, this episode was like a breath of fresh air. I was like, ah, this is as good as I remember it. This is classic John Schwarzwalder. I have no great anecdotes. This is a terrible anecdote, but I loved buying Simpsons episodes

on Amazon Video Service. And they had the first three seasons, one, two, and three. And that's it. Not even like jumping to 20 like iTunes. Wow. Only those except for packages. One is called Homer Knows Best.

There's Halloween packages. And one called Kiss Me, I Am Irish. And I bought Sight Unseen. It's one of three packages with Simpsons episodes. One of three. And I'm like, this has Whacking Day in it. But I don't even need to look at what else it is. I want Whacking Day.

Because they don't have season four. This episode, okay, number one, Skinner could be my favorite character of all time. Because writing a boring character you have to try much harder to make a boring character funny like hank hill is a great character because he's boring and the jokes come out of his boringness but this and him playing off of chalmers is just peak skinner so good so great um so it starts with a surprise school inspection the light intro children we've just been tipped off that Superintendent Chalmers is planning a surprise inspection. So let's clean up this pigsty.

On another topic, the following students have won mountain bikes. Mark Simpson, Jimbo Jones, Nelson Muntz. I'm glad I never had leaves stuffed in my shirt by a bully. I just love Skinner so much in this intro, and almost every second of it is some of the best written dialogue, some of the best clips we'll have that work very well. The best improv-y dialogue in the same room, the same actors. Not to say it again, very family guy, because they do kind of relish the moments, awkward moments and pauses.

Yeah, like talking over each other, things like that. And this establishes skinner's contentious relationship with willie very well before this they had i don't know what the relationship was but here it's like skinner disrespects him yeah he patronizes him but really willie is in charge the whole time and he's just like talking back to him but the chalmers thing like skinner's already a great character but giving him an authority like he is bart's ultimate authority figure and giving skinner an ultimate authority figure is so interesting. Watching Skinner squirm is so great because he's such an ineffectual idiot. He didn't have one until Super Nintendo Chalmers.

Super Nintendo Chalmers. And he was named by Wally Walidarski. How he got his name Chalmers is just so great. There should be a Superintendent Chalmers, and they're like, that's a funny name. And then he is the sane man in the madhouse like he is he is a normal-ish guy aggressively normal and it's also why oakley and weinstein especially love chalmers yes there are a ton that they pretty much do a sequel to this in their hundredth episode of chalmers coming in the aurora borealisalis. Localize entirely within your... One of the best

like five minutes of Simpsons. But I feel like you're right, Henry. Like watching this again, I'm like, I get I really get the high concept they're going for here where it's like the angry boss or the mean boss is such a hoary old sitcom cliche. And in this world, he is the most dry and blunt character. And we're

in a sitcom, but he reacts to sitcom lines like that was a weird thing to say like he doesn't he does not act like a character i have so much of this yeah superintendent chalmers welcome hello seymour so what's the word down at one school board plaza we're dropping the geography requirement the children weren't testing well it was proving to be an embarrassment very good back to the three r's two r's come october but yeah i mean that is how modern testing works though it really is but i mean sitcoms from this era if you watch them like uh full house and family ties like characters will say incredibly mean or stupid things but no one will react because it's a joke they just the character

says something and everything moves on but in this reality chalmers questions every stupid thing skinner says like the show freezes and he has to explain himself and he digs himself deeper. The show lingers on moments that I don't feel like it normally does and I've only seen it do it with this repartee between Chalmers and Skinner. It's so great. 48, 49, 50.

Flags up to date. Very good, Seymour. Now, are these children as smart as they look? Well, let's pick one at random. How about that one? You mean this boy here? No, no, Lisa Simpson. When was the Battle of New Orleans?

January 8th, 1815, two weeks after the war ended. First rate. What's a battle? Let's go. Did that boy say what's a battle? No, he said what's that rattle. It's about the heating duct. It sounded like battle. I thought boy say, what's a battle? No, he said, what's that rattle? It's about the heating duct. It sounded like battle.

I thought a cold. Oh, so you hear ours is bees? Yes. I understand. So I feel like any other shitty sitcom would end the scene at, oh, no, he was saying, what's that rattle? And they would move on to the next scene. But he's like, no, no, explain yourself.

What did you mean by that? I would say even The Simpsons would normally move on from that. Yeah, I mean, they do the same sitcom things. There is super rare cross talk between the – like you hear Skinner go up in between them talking. So you hear ours is bees. I feel like you never hear Azaria and Shearer bouncing off each other like that. You're more used to hearing like –

I do think some of the Rick and Marty... Rick and Marty? That's the original show. Doc and Marty. No, the guys on the radio. Bill and Marty. Bill and Marty, yeah. Bill and Marty, when they're on the radio together,

I do think sometimes that's Dan and Shearer bouncing off each other, but it's rare to see Azaria and Shearer. It's great that, like, young Hank Azaria is old uh old harry shearer's boss in this like that like putting him in his place like the youngest member of the crew uh meanwhile bart is locked up in the mountain which is a pretty smart trick by skinner i was shocked i did not remember willie saying tear you a new arse because like that's just

because he says arse like that still seems too dirty for tv and i think that's probably how they got it by him it's a pretty bad deal for bart that he's surrounded by his four bullies it's bart and his four bullies and so it's just like these are the bullies and then also bart who is not a bully but is a troublemaker yeah just establishes small perfect target and now locked in a room to keep all the bullies out of the uh view of superintendent trauma so what more is that wall so much more chalmers clip excellent on a trace of urine see more you're on a tight ship well you know what they say sir where there's no smoke there's no fire what an odd remark i love okay i i laughed my ass off even 20 20-some years later. What an odd remark. That's the joy of the show.

I don't know if someone wrote that, but it's just the best. What an odd remark. And at that point, Bart escapes the room and gets on a tractor. We got to see the first time. I think the only time in the entire show Willie has had sex. Well, I assume he had sex. I think we all agreed Lurleen Lumpkin was the hottest Simpsons babe. But Willie's one-time girlfriend might take her place, I think, for me at least. Her or Miss Brinkfield, I'm feeling very vanilla.

But yeah, she's a sexy baron. But that she pulls him away just to find, I guess, wash her hair in his swimming pool. But we got them. I like that line. And then yeah, when Bart gets on a tractor, it is the cartooniest moment in forever. The way the tractor pulls back.

It's a reference back to that hot rod. I thought one of you would come to say that. I didn't look it up. He's insulting both of us. One of those, a very famous drawing, I can't remember what it is. God damn it.

Why even bring it up but the other thing with a giant green skull head with the pulling oh yeah it does

it does look like it's very specific to like something you associate I would say for my generation Rob Zombie but I'm pretty sure

like an egg Roth is that the artist I think it's super specific to another I just think of like Spencer's Gifts like Spencer's Gifts or Headshot

or like fucking Mud Flaps in the 70s but still i'm surprised graining was like no this this this is too silly it was a little sexual too he's like come on bart ride me that's true yeah i love the way it taunts him at the end it just falls off so that bart slams into chalmers ass difficult to understand what happened there did bart really run over the superintendent with a high grade tractor? I think he just plowed into his ass. But it's the only part that seems to be bad.

The tractor would have just crushed and killed him. It would not have smashed his ass. I like how even in pain he's like ow ow ow. I also like it the 50 cent piece is stuck between two plates of bread oh right

and again another shot of a just a beautiful ass for Bart to attack another just like when he threw the tomato at Skinner's ass tantalizing anus but this time

there are repercussions for that unlike when he hit Skinner's ass hey I dare you to see that ass in a nightclub and not run a tractor it's impossible

it's new slang that's it but uh we get introduced to Whacking Day. And I didn't grab the clip, but I wanted to point it out because I am thorough in my research. The Ion Springfield portion that introduces Whacking Day goes through not only a nudist camp for animals, but... They blur out the animals like bottom halves. It's good.

Oh, wait. I did love the... Okay, if we're going past, I thought we had a clip of it. Just him saying like, but sir, he's a drunk and a pill popper. And then he even says dough, which is like, that's weird that you get to say dough. Endorse Krause. Oh, yes, I should probably play the Bart because of that act is expelled. There's no detention this time, Simpson.

This is the end. You are expelled from Springfield Elementary. I love when Skinner can be imposing. The camera is pointing up at him. He's just marching towards Bart as this huge authority figure. And as someone who had a lot of problems in school and really, really relished the suspension, hey, you hate school, and you're misbehaving.

We're going to punish you by giving you less school. Thank you. Thank you every time. But as anti-authority as i was like the thought of like canceling school for me was very terrifying because i was always on the brink of like real expulsion got expelled eventually from five schools uh wow i was a good boy well i mean but like no fighting and no hitting a teacher in the ass i don't we've gone through that before just just me being like i don don't want to do anything. A lot of fires, Chris? No, no fires. Just being an awful, like,

hey, guess what? Guys, we don't have to do any work. We're going to see you in the last day if we just do this. Turning your desks around at the same time. That kind of shit. Class clown. I don't know. A little too anti-authority. So that munchkin graveyard joke. That's the one that

Ian Springfield brought up. Where are all the munchkin graveyard joke. That's the one that I on Sprintfield brought up. Where are all the munchkins from Wizard of Oz and they just show a graveyard? There were so many munchkins still alive. It's more of a joke for today, I think. No, the last member of the Lollipop Guild, Jerry Maron, is very much alive at the age of 96.

R2-D2 died this year, though, right? He did. We lost Kenny Baker. I know, but I'm talking about the death of little people. Little people never really live that long, so that is a feat. In my area in Jacksonville, Florida, I knew of a munchkin who was not yet dead. It was the one who unrolls the scroll and reads something off that one. He was there, and he was famous for drunk driving. If you dare to go through it, there is a Wizard of Oz wiki that shows the age and date and death range of all the Munchkins. Wow.

But in terms of the ones, like Jerry Marin had a line. He's the middle lollipop guild guy. And he is still with us. Right now, as of this recording. Not in 1993. Because remember, they would like tour radio shows and like the Today Show. There'd be like seven Munch Show. We just doomed him now. You realize that, right?

No, he's going to die before the recording. He's a real Gordie Howe. You know it. But then the introduction of Wacking Day. Wacking Day from Ion Springfield. But first, a look at the local holiday that was called distasteful and puerile by a panel of hillbillies. Wacking Day. Oh, no, no.

In a tradition that dates back to founding father Jebediah Springfield, every May 10th, local residents gather to drive snakes into the center of town and whack them to snake heaven. So it's an interesting mix where you have George Byron and John Schwarzwald are like both the fathers of this episode. They really are. And they're also good friends, or at least like they've worked together a ton. They worked together on SNL.

They worked together on Army Man, and they got hired at the same time on Simpsons. They're good buddies. But George Meyer seems to be like an extreme lefty, while Schwarzwalder is like a libertarian right-wing guy, according to most of the reports about him. So you have this lefty ideal of anti-animal

cruelty written by a guy who loves jokes about hillbillies and guns. So that's how you get jokes about a panel of hillbillies hating black people. And they were worried about this looking good, like a good thing to do. So they really take a lot of steps to make sure that no, this is a bad thing.

The line about it being distasteful and puerile to a panel of hillbillies like right away they're underlying like this is stupid even hillbillies realize this i mean there's there's a ton of old traditions in my hometown but nothing this this this weird there's also a brutal oh yeah the nixon reference in there i never got until this time either please explain uh alger hiss so uh nixon was he wasn't the ringleader of the uh the communist blacklist and the search for communists but he was a senator at that time it was big i just raped the benefits but he was a big part of it and one of them was trying to prove alger hiss enemy of his a political help start the un if you want to know like how kind of important he was i really thought that was a joke based on his last name sounding like his i mean it was but

that was his real last name yeah it was his real life here's another deadly hiss that's what the joke is so he tried to destroy him and so is a great joke about one of nixon's political enemies of which he had many i i feel like trump's gonna have a way longer list what was nixon's line in this it was great i totally forget what it was. This would have been the show to do it. Yeah. Damn it. I'm not dead yet.

I was too busy capturing this clip of Bart telling Homer he got expelled. Hey, kids. How was school? I learned how many drams in a penny wait. I got expelled. That's my boy. Mmm, beer. What?

Dad, I don't need school. I'll make my way as a boot black. Shine your boots, beer. What? Dad, I don't need school. I'll make my way as a boot black. Shine your boots, governor. No, son of mine is going to be a 19th century cockney boot black. We're going to find you another school. So, dreams and a pennyweight, I never got that. I didn't learn that in school. That feels like 70s metrics.

That feels like something you learn in a cereal box. I think the joke is Lisa is proving how pointless school is for her but bart's like i got kicked out what and actually as people pointed out online drams and a pennyweight is actually wrong because there are there aren't more than one dram in a pennyweight a pennyweight has point 0.877712 drams. So that's how many drams are in a pennyweight. Less than one. Lisa is grammatically incorrect there.

But they send Bart to Catholic school, which costs money. So the Simpsons are willing to shell out to send Bart. It's a hardcore Christian school. It wasn't any denomination. I went to Catholic school, so it seemed familiar to me. Yeah, I think you were projecting. Not a lot about Psalms there, Bob. But the Flanders weren't there, though, which is weird. I thought that was strange that they didn't go there.

It also feels like, though, that should have been a runner. That should have been him going to two or three different schools. It really should have. They tried one, and that was it. And then Bart's like, I give up on schools. I wonder if there was... It feels like something's missing. I bet there were cut scenes we weren't seeing. As someone who got expelled from a couple of schools,

in a mildly small town, there are a lot of free options after getting expelled. There was the alternative school, the adult education program, where people usually go to get their GED, but you can still go to school there. There was a lot of options for me before the one private school I ended up graduating from.

My poor parents. As a youngster who didn't get references to Richard Nixon in the Blacklist, which by the way listen to the You Must Remember This podcast on the Blacklist. Oh, so great. Yeah, you'll hate everybody. But if you were a kid who didn't know what that was, you immediately knew when Bart mentioned Beans, Beans, Musical

Fruit. That was the one for the kids to go like, I know what he's going to say. I remember that bringing me back in. We have another Bart fantasy of him dreaming of a dark future where he's tasting food additives. And we get the immortal line,

pleasant taste, some monsterism. Some monsterism. As he hulks out. And then he thinks it's cool. He's like, cool, classic Bart, loving his doomed future. I got the one right after because Lisa gets to express her opinions about Wacking Day.

You're going to get an education. I'm going to teach you myself. Marge, it's too late. The boy's 10 years old. Let's focus our energy on Lisa and the other one. What's your problem? Stitch face. Wacking Day is coming.

Woo-hoo! The greatest day of the year. But killing snakes is evil. Maybe so, Lisa. But it's part of our oh-so-human nature. Inside every man is a struggle between good and evil that cannot be resolved. I am evil Homer. I am evil Homer.

I am evil Homer. I am evil Homer. I like evil Homer. I am evil Homer. I like the clip. That scene cuts off with just Lisa looking like she's responding to his fantasy. Yeah, that is a weird cut to her face. You can see it, yeah. I think a lot of people have only evil Homer in them and pretend they're having a battle between those two sides. I think there's a certain group of people who want to elevate evil Homer as part of something that that should be part of the way you are the point is to have both yeah i think homer i think this is kind of for

unintentional foreshadowing to the jerk ass homer that we will get to know in later ones though really season five homer is a mean person he has no redemptive arc here none yes no he's homer's a little better in other season episodes in season four but in this he's like homer never really learns anything he's i do like the way it goes though we hear about some very very dark homer moments too that we we don't see thank god and so so another another instance of grandpa dressing in drag which doesn't doesn't play well in audio which probably does deserve says i i wore a dress i did wear a dress for a period in the 40s so a lot of these jokes at this time it's like what if this character was gay or transvestite

like i feel like that's just sort of the joke it's very funny to think that yeah but i do like seeing like uh there's a there's a much larger story that is probably made up by grandpa of him infiltrating some nazi bar dressing up like a woman like how did he escape that and he's how did he like he's singing a Germanized version of Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey. First off, I love that joke about Marge and the bell. Marge got the bell. I bought a bell. A very cute Marge thing to do.

Marge got some good stuff. She bought the industrial, real school bell. If you've never stood right next to one, they're horrifying. Marge is great at riding with the chalk. It's very straight. She has that cat clock that my mom owns. I've been dying to buy that. It's called the Kit Kat clock.

I had the Garfield variation of it. Of course you did. Grandpa says, Grandpa's Hello Children was great. I love that. Hello, children. And him remembering World War II is weird because he, as is proven fact in the world of The Simpsons later, he was in world war ii and a decorated officer like basically sergeant rock he fought with mr burns and

skinner's dad and barney's dad yeah but this one he's remembering his life as like cabaret and then becomes a cabaret joke which himmler i think that's him or good or gerbils at the table with there are there are like are characters of Nazi officials. I think it is Goebbels and, God, Himmler maybe. Hitler looks cartoonish in the way that you say he would have been drawn in Looney Tunes or Disney back in the time. But Himmler is a real character of the character. He is an unmoving bride. They're great drawings.

Yeah, I gotta retract. Give best line of the show to Hitler in this. After it's revealed, grandfather is the dress. Give a shout out to Hitler. That's the joke. Ach du lieber, das ist nicht einer Bubi. Is that story true, grandpa?

Well, most of it. I did wear a dress for a period in the 40s. Oh, they had designers then. Essentially, just Grandpa was wearing women's clothing. This did not happen. That's a cutaway to a joke where Homer constantly drives back into the garage that Bart is getting homeschooled in, which is great. Great piece of animation. The second time it happens, he's like, oh, yeah.

So the song they sang, it had been pitched by Conan that he was going to sing uh the falling in love again never wanted to marlene dietrich yes as as famously done by her quite the sex pie boys in your show too and they couldn't get the license to it because the people who owned it were like you're gonna make a nazi joke no it's like i think it was more like everyone makes fun of this so we don't want you to make fun of it yeah and they reference its use in a volkswagen commercial that showed yeah it was very like when i think about it they pointed out in the commentary they used the song through like all the years of volkswagen they're like here it is being invented in 1910 here's a race in 1920. 1950! Let's skip this decade. Yeah, it's

just a minor variation on a real song. I heard it a ton on Looney Tunes, and I think Robert Klein's Butterfly and the Last Unicorn sing the song as well. I know so many 30s and 40s pop hits because of Looney Tunes, like,

I'm just wild about Harry. It's bizarre. Looney Tunes. Like, I'm just wild about Harry. It's bizarre. Looney Tunes were invented as essentially a vessel for the Warner Music catalog. That's why they're merry melodies, right? Yeah, that's why they exist. So we get Homer's sexualized whacking, where the first scene is him pulling it out of his sheath

like it's a penis. He's like, whack! Whack, whack, whack! I like that Marge is turned on by Homer. Like it's a penis. Yeah. It's like whack, whack, whack, whack. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Yeah. I like that Marge is turned on by Homer. I think, I like those jokes more than like, oh, Homer's disgusting. Instead that Marge is like, ooh. She's turned on by the whacking. This is the dirtiest fucking joke. This was quite dirty.

I remember it. Never got it. My parents were laughing like crazy at this. And I was like, it's funny that he's being violent, but what are you talking about? This is the dirtiest thing on television in 1993, period. That first shot of the whacking stick coming out of the sheath is just like, that's a penis. Well, Marge, should I whack slow or fast? Slow, then fast.

That is the best guideline to real sex. Now that I've had sex, this makes so much sense. Yeah, we've all done it. I mean, none... As a true sex-haver, I must say. Not this decade, but... The Sentence will be right back. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you.

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Transparently, because a lot of those people would at least try to hide how much money they were siphoning from people, and now it's like, well, you can really dig it up easy. We're going to have an offshore podcast very soon. Coming at you from a fucking oil rig in the middle of the Pacific. We're going to annex that final island that's way over to the left.

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of Talking Simpson, and more at patreon.com slash lasertime starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live, and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. But let's talk about something really sexy. Johnny Tremaine. Johnny Tremaine. Johnny Tremaine. But I do like, I wish this was explored a little more. And I bet it probably is in some deleted scene should they exist.

I like that beef story that Bart does find an interest in school by March laser focusing in on things he might be interested in. Johnny Tremaine, a story about a boy with a deformed hand. A deformed hand? Cool. So homeschool is a joke and really just to keep your white children away from non-white children. Like that's what homeschooling

is for many people. But I'm sure it's for people who want to keep them focused on educational aspects. But part of school is a social aspect and denying your child the social aspect

probably isn't very good. They don't really do a lot of homeschool jokes that we would see in like South Park later. Well, because homeschool jokes are really about Christian parents protecting their children. And I got to say, the dude in it was probably a dick, but I did love this story that was on HBO's Inside. It was on the HBO Brian Gumbel Sports Show.

And so there's a story of a homeschooled kid who wants to compete in high school sports, but he just wants to attend for the sports and then go back home for homeschool. And the principal of the school is like, no, you don't get to, like, you did not, you don't want to go to our school, then don't go to our school. We don't owe you the sports program and all of that. I'm like, fuck off. I like that. I just think it does say something.

I think it says say something i think it says something more about education when a teacher can laser focus on one student and that's very hard i'm not giving teachers any shit but the idea like you hand 40 children to a teacher and like babysit all of them such an old man's diagnosis on simpsons it really is but like but the idea like like march finds a way to make this classic book interesting to bart where like they show you he's there's an itchy and scratchy episode on. He's not watching it because he's reading Johnny Tremaine. Hundreds would die, but not the thing they died for.

A man can stand up. Wow. If you'd like to learn more about colonial times, we could take a field trip to old Springfield town. Johnny Tremaine is a 1943 novel by Esther Forbes. I never read it, but I want to feel like I read it, but I didn't read it because I wanted to and didn't retain any of it because that's how school works.

But I did watch the Disney film version of it as a kid, which in the story he is deformed by he is mentoring with a silver smith and he accidentally gets silver on his palm and it puts all his hand together and so he cannot move his

fingers together. And he is now by being deformed he is now useless and he can't get a job. But he's got an iron kung fu chop or silver. And because he can't get a job he then falls in with a bunch of terrorists who are fighting the British.

Freedom fighters. So Johnny Tremaine becomes kind of just this witness to revolutionary history. It's a way of teaching kids about the Revolutionary War through a young character who just happens to be there for the Boston Tea Party. I remember not being able to control myself falling asleep in history. Whereas now I'm fascinated by those aspects of history I couldn't be awake for because they weren't made interesting to me. If my mom at Bart's age told me she'd take me to the colonial village, I would kick and scream and not want to go

because I had no opening or way of wanting to care about that because no one provided me with that. But now I do, and I just wish someone got to me. And Marge got to Bart very fast. When I was a kid, i didn't want to go to epcot i wanted to go to the magic kingdom i'm still there i want to go to epcot no way no we didn't miss the jfk uh itchy and scratchy which is just a recreation of jack ruby shooting lee harvey i think it's a fucking critic joke i think it's a pretty bad joke there's not not even a joke. It's just like we recreated this scene with Itchy and Scratchy. Well, the joke is that Oliver Stone directed Itchy and Scratchy.

We just put out JFK. This was probably the same year that Seinfeld had the extended JFK parody, like the second spitter. It was a couple years ago. All these comedy writers were like, now that we can parody a film, we can do jokes about, on television, one of the darkest chapters in American history. That makes me think, when are the 9-11 jokes going to be totally fine? Because even Family Guy was like, good thing I've got my JFK Pez dispenser. And it gets shot, and it's like, I've got my Bobby Kennedy Pez dispenser.

And that was like 99. I feel like we're close to it. Well, maybe another 10 years if we live that long. I do love this exchange with Homer talking to Lisa. Oh, this is the darkest stuff. Everyone likes Wacking Day, but I hate it. Is there something wrong with me? Yes, honey.

Then what should I do? Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an appropriate time. Like that day I hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember that? Yeah. When Daddy hit the referee with a whiskey bottle. Remember that? Yeah. When Daddy hit the referee? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, my God. So Homer took the family to a baseball game, a football game, whatever, brought his own whiskey to drink out of, and got so drunk and angry, he threw the whiskey bottle at a referee. I assume there was some jail time or like a court thing or something. Lisa's just like, yeah. You can tell Lisa's uncomfortable too. But she's not. She's laughing. I don't think so.

Laughing along with him to be like supposed to laugh. No, if you pause it, there's a sweet moment where Homer puts his head up against hers and her hair gives way to Homer's head and they're really connecting. I think she's just kind of dealing with it. No, she's laughing. I think it's Homer thinking he's connecting with her and she's just connecting. I think she's just kind of dealing with it. No, she's laughing. I think it's Homer thinking

he's connecting with her and she's just uncomfortable. To me, it just ties back with this episode more so than any we've seen before. It has funny dialogue exchanges that the Simpsons don't normally dwell on very long. The Chalmers stuff, for sure. From being recorded together. That Homer-Lisa thing did sound like

they were together. That last, like, yeah, is very, like, they're in the same room. I mean, I wish they had a real field day animating Homer's Bruce Lee battle against the Saints. So good, dude. Great animation. Love it. Yeah, it was exactly Bruce Lee from Enter the Dragon, his nunchuck sequence, specifically. And this is Jeffrey Lynch, who was, like, part of the second generation of super great directors.

Yeah. But I love, again, I wish the story of Bart developing an interest in history because I wish it would happen to me. Oh, and they get to Colonial Springfield. To Fort Sensible. I love the Fort Sensible story. And how. And how.

I love the duh, duh, idiot. Which, as far as I can tell from IMDb, there's no accredited panicky idiot in the credits for the original Poseidon Adventure. That's about a ship that capsizes, right? Yes, it goes upside down and they have to escape. And it was the first of those, like, we cast two dozen famous people in this movie. To be on screen for 20 minutes a piece.

And half of them will live. It's about being shocked when Kurt Russell dies or whoever. But there is someone, the closest to panic Idiot in the credits are Falling Man and Injured Party Guest. None of them are Richard Dreyfuss though, right? And this episode gets two. They are allowed one. Barney is a drunk joke in this episode. Snakes!

Snakes everywhere! Yeah. Mike Reese even calls it out in the commentary like we already did that joke yeah i'm supposed to be a governor yeah yeah yeah but sorry this is the colonial time where bart finally calls out um he realizes history is a fraud man yeah dude because i and i thought this is going to be that episode where they really call jedediah springfield that's way three years this is planting that seed though it really It really is. This is Jebediah Springfield at the Battle

of Ticonderoga. Next. And here he is killing a snake on the very first whacking day in 1775. Hey, wait a minute. That was the same day he was at Ticonderoga. How could he be in two places at once?

Uh-huh. I'll blow the whole jail. Get him out of here. So clearly, at this point, the Hans Sprungfeld conspiracy is in place. Like, some people know about Hans Sprungfeld. That's true. It does fit with the Hans Sprungfeld story.

It's actually pretty similar to that sniper almost about to shoot me. That's... Oh, God. sniper almost about to shoot me. I cannot wait until season 7. Jesus Christ. Did you notice that that security room was the same one at Oui Monsieur from the Super Bowl episode? It was animated the exact same way. Those are the socks she came in with. Exactly. It even had the

shotguns on the wall. I don't even know what this is. And the Lord said, whack ye all the serpents which crawl on their bellies and thy town shall be a beacon unto others that's one lisa going to reverend lovejoy for answers and making up bible quotes do not let moochers into thine hut yeah graining did not like lovejoy lying he wanted he didn't think it was fair to make the representative of Christianity a liar. I feel like he was selling out his character.

Kind of, yeah. A little bit. I like that snake in the Kwik-E-Mart bit, too. That's a pretty funny bit. I like that. It is, and I only noticed that I've seen the brand Chippos with the hippopotamus. Oh, yeah, yeah. And that was really close to being one of the few brands in The Simpsons that was consistent.

I'm going to say, not really a joke, but OK. Like, yeah, fine. You can do that. I think I saw that on Dr. Katz, too. I think I made the same joke. Yeah, I just like the idea of like, you know, South Park has snacky poof. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like just a lame, lame snack. You got Duff and that's about it. Yeah. Like Chippo's

it. It appears in this season Homer dives into them to hide when Sideshow Bob robs a quickie mark. Chip-os. And then the kids are singing in what seems like a direct reference to Empire of the Sun. Really? Okay. I mean, there are other films where kids are singing in a choir, but...

I got more of a Home Alone vibe, but it's too early for that. We hear Dan singing in Homer's falsetto voice. You would have heard it during the break, but it's so long and great. Because I want to get to the more singing from this guy. Yeah. And now to open this year's festivities, here's our Grand Marshal, the Prophet of Love, Larry White. Barry White.

No, it says here Larry White. I know my own name. Yeah? Well, we'll see. Ladies and gentlemen, my unlimited love to y'all. It's truly an honor to be here at this... Hey, what is this all about anyway? It's an exotic stage. Oh, God, no. You people make me sick.

Were they even listening to me? I don't think so. Apologies are my least favorite jingle. Death stalks you at every turn. There it is, death. I wish I had a date for this. I forgot to write it down, but Barry White is dead. In 2000, this was my, as a suburban White's child, this was my introduction to Barry White.

He died in 2003. Yeah, a long time ago. But I had never, I had not heard his music before as a kid, at least as far as I knew. I definitely heard, the music I heard as a kid that were oldies ended at like 70. I listened to the oldies station all the time, but it was 50 to 70. 70s music was still new enough that it was kind of like where 90s music was a few years ago. Now

90s music is old enough. And in The Way We Was, they had a fake Barry White song. It was the Don't Be A Baby Lady, Just Be A Lady Baby song that they immediately go into do the hustle afterwards. That's true. But this is the real Barry White white singing and he will sing his actual song yeah his big hit an original one can't get enough of your love but he was a he was a babe that is song can't get enough of your love

babe he's a big he was a huge hit singer in the 70s has an inimitable voice impossibly good voice yeah and and was a popular singer, tons of gold albums and platinum albums. Yeah, if Darth Vader could sing. And was still active touring until his death, but he also, as animated in the show, was a large man who had health issues through

his life. Why can't we have old soul singers? And so when you see a parody of a soul singer, like, wiping his brow with a whip as he's singing, it's kind of a Barry White joke. He breaks it to us all while singing. We did miss one thing I want to point out, though. It's a thing I see in Simpsons memes all the time.

The image, the single image of Homer in the giant foam cowboy hat with the air horn with his mouth open. It's intentionally off-model just to be bizarre. But it's just a shot of him and the air horn blaring because i know the commentary probably doesn't mention that because the internet wasn't around when they recorded it but yeah that image of homer in the giant foam cowboy hat looking derpier than ever yeah his mouth is just wide open just standing there and it holds for so long i like watching it because it's it's supposed to look silly. It is supposed to look as the way it's being used. And I like Lisa telling him, like, don't fall down to the level of the mob. If I'm with the mob, maybe I can direct them and put them in good directions.

Bring them down to the inside. That's not what happens with mobs. And I wish you did have the clip. It's one of my favorite sounds in the series of Homer. Homer's parking. It's like, I didn't get until now the joke of,er homer's parking and it's like i didn't i didn't get until now the joke of it just says ten dollars he says ten dollars per axle meaning twenty dollars so that's the joke and then when the the foreign man shows up in his crazy car

i love that it's very nick riviera well he's i it's said in such a way of just like, I love America. Yeah. Hooray. I party with you. I just wondered if he would. I don't know. I love the Mr. Plow episode. He got his car at the Put It in H dealership. Crazy Voklov's?

Yeah, Crazy Voklov's countries that no longer exist cars. Put It in H. Because if a car has that many axles. I don't know. But just a little more Barry White for me, because this is a really good way to use Barry White, because Bart figures out a way to lure all the snakes in the system's home. The snakes are way too cartoony. Oh, yeah.

More than any of the animals, even like that first season episode where they're in the woods. I think they did that to make the killing of them seem less cruel and awful. They're just kind of cartoony, super cartoony. That's why they're in Garfield. Their eyes are huge. And the extreme violence of the mobsters machine gunning those snakes. Like, whoa! And if you look, it's not even a snake.

It's like every animal that might have been in there is being killed. They fall out. In the commentary, they thought that the bit where the snakes all go on largo was a reference was making fun of dave merkin who hadn't been hired yet yeah dave merkin is a kind of like slightly effeminate dude he's a bald guy with long hair if you can figure that out yeah who would maybe say you yeah but more barry white please oh So if we put our stereo speakers On the ground and play something with a lot of bass Those snakes will be in here

Like Oprah and a baked ham Oh good idea Let's see bass bass Tiny Tim the chipmunks greatest hits A castrato Christmas That is so great And I never would have gotten that every one of those Is the opposite of bass The one thing I mean okay so fat shaming Oprah shaming whatever but that is so great and i never would have gotten that every one of those is the opposite of base

yeah yeah the one thing i i mean okay so fat shaming oprah shaming whatever but that is like the laziest married with children joke like i will be on me like oprah on a baked ham it doesn't feel very simpsonsy and oprah fat joke is just like and also she just did their fucking show and she's never been skinnier at this point yeah bob woodward wrote the book about the truth about like yes and it's it is a fun star of all the president's men bob woodward so bob you talk to we chatted a little about this episode beforehand that it is two stories that aren't seemingly close together at all it's gonna happen separate but i like that they kind of come together by Bart and Lisa

having a role reversal. Bart has the idea and Lisa executes it as opposed to all the previous times where Lisa had the idea and then Bart doesn't. Yeah I mean I agree that Bart takes charge. I really feel like the rise of Seinfeld inspired writers to make the

plots meet. The A and the B plots meet together in some clever way. I feel like they weren't on board with that yet, but they would be. But I feel like that is what inspired every sitcom to kind of do the same thing. I mean, just in the last episode, those two stories don't meet at all. In fact, they need to be separate for them to exist. I mean, we get one line from Skinner saying,

oh, you've exhibited independent learning. Come back to school. But that's the one thing that ties it into the B plot. And I love any joke that Homer has has terrible record collections the doodle towels i believe he just only owns bad music but leo sayer yeah but there was a little more to the clip oh yeah it was just lisa because it's a great because i feel like this episode they had to find this plot line and then they found barry white because they had to have bass to drive to and then they found Barry White. Because they had to have Bates to drive them to the house. They didn't write it around Barry White.

They found the right celebrity guest to be themselves. If they couldn't get Barry White, then they'd have to have just made up a Barry White type guy. Yeah, they probably would have done that, too. But I feel like, I don't know, a lot of modern Simpsons criticism comes from celebrities playing themselves. I mean, this is classic. What we criticize now about the Simpsons of the celebrity saves the day it works for that is how snakes do things you want to find the basiest guy I feel like they justify it in that he is a celebrity and he's like what am I here for

like and you know James Woods would be there studying for a role they would actually try to build some kind of justification into the actual script not just like oh Steve Buscemi's here to say one thing and now we're gonna do a bunch of parody of Steve Buscemi's work. They didn't do that with Barry White. Can't get enough of your love, eh? Mr. White, can we borrow you for a minute? Anything for a lady. Wow.

I'm melting, by the way. Do you have a thing where it says, I love the sexy slither of a baby snake? Yeah, of course I do. So he sings his song. We're not going to play it here. We'll close out with it. But it's the longest song of The Simpsons. And he sang it in the booth.

They did not get the old recording. If you listen. He changed the lyrics. And if you listen to the original version, they are parodying it. In the original version, he does have a little speech at the beginning about, oh, baby, I love you so much. He's every member of boys to men all the time but in the original song like he's backed up by his own vocals like it's doubled up and tripled up vocals this is just isolated so much cowbell too with the yes so much cowbell but i love the camera turn around him like

that's good animation that's really good it was crazy how much effort they put in a filming barry white who again i hadn't heard of him yeah yeah uh i hadn't heard of him like but he's filmed kind of glamorously there's like a crane shot yeah like pulling away from him yeah jeff said he did those because those are cliched yeah video tropes but they're hard to animate they look hard to animate in those shots the whole world moves once and then barry moves almost in 180 degrees. Really neat. People of Springfield, Wacking Day is a sham.

It was started in 1924 as an excuse to beat up the Irish. It's true. They took many a lump. That was all in good fun. Now, wait a minute. How can you people turn on snakes after all they've done for you? I'm an old man. I hate everything but Matlock.

Who would I know? Mrs. Glick, who killed all those rats in your basement? Snake did. And you like snakes, don't you, Barry White? I love the sexy slither of a lady snake. Oh, baby. Male snakes don't do anything for him, but a lady snake. That sounds grudging. Matlock was a lady snake. Oh, baby. Male snakes don't do anything for him, but a lady snake.

That sounds grudging. Matlock was a short runner. Matlock would appear in, I think, be murdered by old people in season five. So there's a lot in here. One that should have been Chorus Leachman to say snake, but it wasn't. And not dead.

I don't have to play the jingle. She had a tweet recently that was like, I fucking turned 93 God I look for a sleechman never never die close but also the Irishman

I love that so he appears again that's the first appearance of the Irishman he'll what a fine job you did what a fine job

you did of it too but he is he is a leprechaun he is an all drink he has a con a cop pipe maybe this is different for people in say england and our listeners in england or or in the uk in general racism against irish in america just seems like you can't be racist against the irish cares like yeah i mean my grandfather's from new york as an italian and like you know he was the original

let's be racist towards that so he's like real sensitive he was real sensitive to like Italian slurs where like man they roll off my back well because somebody with a moist back well I think the point in America is that as long as your skin is white you will eventually transcend

race and be yeah yeah yeah throw someone else under the bus I always say I'm not that guy the last season The Sopranos is about Italians being made honorary white people. We'll never talk about being a separate culture again. And so that's kind of what the Irish is about too, but I also like there are many things in America

that we think are long traditions, but were actually created more recently as an excuse to hate a group of people. Oh, like the war on drugs. Like a lot of things, yeah. I got it. Or like saying, hey, the Confederate flag, this is just our heritage. Heritage, not hate, Hank. And you're just like, no, it got put up in the 60s as a protest against enforced civil rights.

That's why it got put up. I used to have my own water fountain. God damn. Politics is an excellent segue to my next clip. Oh, wait. The Matlock thing, too, though. I did check this. Matlock ran against them on Thursdays.

So that's why it was specifically against Matlock. Oh, so it was like slandering the audience in the show. They were mad at the elderly who weren't watching them. They were watching Matlock. So when Abe says, ooh, it's on right now, he's speaking in real time. Oh, man. Awesome. It's on right now as you're watching

the show. That's great. I love it. Being mad at the elderly is like being mad at a talking cat. You're not going to get anywhere. You won't reach them. But the politics segue I'll continue to use because I love the Mayor Quimby clip. Oh, this is great. Because he shows up earlier with a bunch of pre-whacked snakes.

We did we also missed gentlemen, start your whacking. Start Your Whacking. Yeah, very sexualized. But that was back before, like I knew the term whacking off. I don't think I did at this point.

I was a young spry. Before I knew the term jerking off, which is what we still use, but whacking off is how it was. In my area, I heard jerking, not whacking.

Just saying, this Quimby clip is almost up there for a line of the show. Hooray for snakes! Hooray for snakes! Look at this, everyone. Twelve dead snakes. I'm sick of you people.

You're nothing but a pack of fickle mush heads. He's right. Give us hell, Quimby. That turn is very much like a turn they would use later where he's talking about the spoiler in the crying game and they boo him and then he turns it around they're like yay give us out quimby it makes me very happy uh and so then they have a cover to andy williams classic born free yeah oh there's andy williams i thought yeah it's not sinatra um and it's the andy williams version it's definitely not him

yeah it was sung by many people but that was the Andy Williams version style they were emulating it wasn't fake Michael Jackson was it

I don't think it was Kip Lennon yeah but that song was an Oscar winning song from a 1960s film of the same name which no one remembers

the most boring film I've ever seen in school watch Roar the best movie made in the very real late 70s Lions craze. It's Home Alone, but Macaulay Culkin is replaced by several lions, tigers, and jaguars who really rip the shit out of Melanie Griffith's family. It's great. So there's a visual joke in this where it's basically like sperm swimming towards an egg. My friends and I giggled about this a lot.

I never got that. The snake squiggling towards the sun is very much a sperm and egg joke. That's totally right, but I never – that is – you're opening my eyes, man. I saw Look Who's Talking, and Look Who's Talking now starts with a joke about dog cum. So put that on for the family. You know, every one of those movies starts with someone ejaculating. I mean, seriously. It does.

The first one is Beach Boys and Sperms when we do a fallopian tube. I can't believe I'm just going to pause on fallopian tubes. They're the best tubes. I guess I've always

used violence as a way of getting attention. Yes. Yes. Yes. Me too. Hey, guess what? Nelson Munch, Jimbo, Kearney,

they're all locked in the basement from the beginning. That was a great callback. It's a really good callback. We forget about them just as Skinner did. I don't have a good term for it, but when I was a little kid, I would notice that The Simpsons would start, their first act is meaningless towards the second and third.

It is a very short first act. Yeah, it's very short, but this is like something I think a modern show would do post-credits. They would show the bullies hugging it out because they were still there. Having breakthroughs. I assume some writers went through therapy at this point. So Skinner shows up in a very, like, we got to end this episode and put you back where you were. But it's earned by him remembering he never let them out.

Never let the children out. And then he, as far as Skinner knows, they're dead. How long has it been i wonder two days seems weak they imply that they could be dead yeah i do i'd love the end of it yeah faster willie faster now we give them the bikes no one sues what if they're dead sir then we ride these bikes to mexico And freedom, Willie. Freedom. Freedom. He'll turn you into a first toll booth. So one of two season four episodes in which the solution is going to Mexico.

Yes. And that's a different Mexico musical outro, I think. That's a Simpsons theme dressed up in Mexican musical accompaniment. But the first one was South of the Border with a very Frank Sinatra-y, fake Frank Sinatra song. Fake Sinatra. I didn't notice until this viewing, Kearney has stubble. It is the first reference of Kearney is older than the rest of them. Oh my god, how is Kearney's child doing during all this? I sleep in a drawer!

I guess maybe he was with his mother at the time. I hope so. But Kearney, it was the first time they ever joked that he is much older than everyone else, though still in school. So that was a funny ending to a much improved episode over the last one. We had a few subpar.

I mean, the clip show, you can't get anything out of that. The front was okay. Kind of weak, but with some good jokes. So this is a strong episode with two strong stories that ended well. A useful guest star, a lot of great violent jokes. I think it's all going to be grade A stuff until the season

ends, too. I think so, yeah. We're into the home stretch, though. I think we only have, in airing season four, I believe we only have two episodes left. Yeah, Margin Chains and the Krusty Comeback Special. In production, we've got four episodes left, but we'll get into that when that time comes. God, I want to get to season five so bad. You mentioned Krusty gets canceled.

This is one of multiple celebrities they doubled up on. We're like, well, as long as you're here recording this guest appearance. Say two more words. Say two more words so we can say a ton of guest stars are in this next episode. So this is not the last time we'll be hearing Barry White. I bet in that episode we'll play the death jingle like five times. Oh, God, no. Oh, my God.

There's so many deaths. Hugh Hefner is still with us, I think. If I can think of at least two more, he should die. I don't know. With that slander, this has been Talking Simpsons. I've been your host, Bob Mackie. You can find me on Twitter as BobServo. I also write for SomethingAwful.com and Fandom.com every day.

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Two Married with Children spinoffs. Unbelievable. Dear Lord. Matt LeBlanc. I don't know what executive he had pictures of, but they really tried to push a Matt LeBlanc Married with Children spinoff. But that and 302010 and Vigigame Apocalypse Vigigame Apocalypse being our weekly video game show

And 302010 being our look Back 30 years ago, 20 years ago, and 10 years ago In the past of that week It's really cool If you listen to it once You'll usually be able to pinpoint exactly what you were doing During that time period More so than any point in school

Or your yearbook What movie came out? What were you playing? What were you watching? You'll remember exactly where you were. It was real fun. Thanks for joining us, everybody. We'll be back next week with Marge Goes to Jail. See you then. My darling, I

Can't get enough of your love, babe Girl, I don't know, I don't know why Can't get enough of your love, babe Some things I can't get used to No matter how I try It's like the more you give, the more I want And baby, that's no, that's no lie Tell me, what can I say?

It's weird! What am I gonna do? How should I feel? Wow, infotainment.