Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons - Who Shot Mr. Burns (Part One)

Episode Date: January 17, 2018

We've been waiting for this one since the show began, and it doesn't disappoint. Not only is this one of the funniest episodes, but the first half of Springfield's greatest mystery is one of the densest, full of clues and red herrings. We suss it all out and explain our wonder at how great it still is in this extra-long podcast!

this week's episode is brought to you by patreon at patreon.com slash talking simpsons not only you get access to every episode a week early and ad free but we have tons of extras including our two newest interviews we chat with mike scully about his time executive producing the show i ran it through seasons 9 through 12 which I always characterize as the four most consecutive seasons of the show. And we talked with writer Mimi Pond about what it was like to write the first episode of The Simpsons. You know, and I get to be the turd in the punch bowl every single time I tell this story,

because nobody wants to hear anything bad about The Simpsons. You can find all that and more exclusively on patreon.com slash TalkingSimpsons. I heartily endorse this event or product. Ahoy, ahoy, everybody. Welcome to Talking Simpsons, where we drink cheap scotch and watch Comedy Central. I'm your host, Bob Bumblefist Mackey, and this is the Lazer Time Podcast Network's chronological exploration of The Simpsons. Who else is here with me today? Uh, Henry Gilbert, and I think stealing candy from a baby sounds like a larf. It sure does. Who else?

Uh, runaway lamp Chris Antista. And today's episode is Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1. Almost sexual, isn't it, Smithers? And today's episode aired on May 21st, 1995, and as always Chris will tell us what happened on this mythical day in real world history. Oh my god!

One of the worst best pictures of the year, Braveheart. Debuts in theaters, cruelly beating out the real best movie of the year, Die Hard with a Vengeance. Not Showgirls. And book an appointment because Dr. Katz is on the air on Comedy Central, their first animated program. Animated. It squiggles. It's like a screensaver.

It was a long road to South Park. On the commentary for Dr. Katz in the first season DVD, they talk about how they discovered animation because originally their show was just screens. Just the still images of talking over it. Clutch cargo mouths. And then they accidentally edited together an open mouth shot

and a closed mouth shot. They're like, wait, we can make their mouths move. Oh my god. It's an illusion. Yeah. This show's amazing. I love doing the lips. And you don't need to look at it.

It's now a podcast. Yeah. Because the animation was that bad. An exclusive Audible podcast you can listen to if you sign up at audibletrial.com slash talking simpsons.

I haven't said that in a while. So I've been saving the, oh wait, are we still on news? Well, I mean, I just love Dr. Katz. It is great. Yeah. It's how how if you love H. John Benjamin He debuted to the world

Truly as Benjamin Katz And with that We don't have to go into detail But for me Getting Comedy Central was my Beatles And I do think there's a growing number Of people, those of us who just watched that channel Alone, like nothing else mattered Comedy Central ruled And I do think there's a growing number of people, those of us who just watched that channel alone,

like nothing else mattered. Comedy Central ruled. And I've said that a billion times. I love to see Simpsons acknowledge new things that I was into. And my new favorite show when this episode aired was MST, which is in the show. Yes, the show is less kind to Comedy Central than you were, Chris. It's kind of looking down upon it. But it was a very different channel then.

Yeah. Because even if you look closely at the TV, before it's MST3K, it's kind of looking down upon it but it was a very different channel then yeah yeah and it because even if you look closely at the TV before it's MST3K it's making fun of a whose line is it anyway promo yes very very important plot point because it was like there would be four hours of that and I did not like that show I thought it was so much of that show

I watched a million of them and never liked it yeah never I liked it made me nervous I grew to like that those people in that style but like as a, I fucking hated it. Who was your favorite? Colin Mochrie? Oh, Ryan Stiles. He's amazing.

He is the best. He's amazing. I was a Stilesman. For whatever reason, I recorded Hot Shots 2 off of a Showtime free preview, and he's like the co-star in that movie. Really? Before I even saw Who's Line, Ryan Stiles was in one of my favorite comedies. I remember when the Drew Carey show started, I was like, hey, it's Who's Line is It Anyway?

It's Ryan Stiles. That tall, weird-looking guy. Which would then lead to Drew Carey making the American Who's Line Is It Anyway? Even worse. Well, hey, look, Wayne Brady, he sings funny songs. It's true. It's true. So this episode.

Yes. Okay, I want to say I've been saying this since we started doing this podcast. It's my favorite episode. I'm also very sick. That's how dedicated I am to telling you how good this episode is. I love the Simpsons movie, but I don't think I've rewatched this more than once. This should have been the movie. That's what I was saying.

I thought that the whole time, too. During our Simpsons movie commentary available on Bandcamp and on the Lazer Time Patreon. Yeah, LazerTime.Bandcamp.com or if you're a patron. Oh, you're patrons, too. It's on ours, too. Yeah, ours, too. Okay, I forgot about that. But I said during that commentary,

this is my Simpsons movie. It is nothing can top Mr. Burns. He's at his most evil. All the characters are firing in all cylinders and every little joke and plot point is just so perfect.

And I'm now there with you. Because I love the Simpsons movie and I do like... Russ Kargis. I love Albert Brooks. But Burns is still the ultimate Simpsons villain. And he's treated like a much better villain in this episode in in in terms of getting letting other springfield cast members giving them a space to shine this is way but

smithers does not appears in the movie for like four seconds yeah and he has so many great lines as well as every other simpsons another thing that gives it the movie feeling to me is that when you see movies of TV shows, it's used as, and the Simpsons kind of do this in their actual movie, that it feels like the culmination of everything. And it goes backwards in history. It's like, well, we always wanted to know this in the X-Files,

or we always wanted to do this in Show X. And in this, it's like, it pays off. You have to know so much history of the Simpsons for a million jokes in this it is very fan servicey it's so fan servicey it it celebrates the town of springfield more than ever and it makes the natural villain the super villain of the world and it just works perfectly the part two is great but this i think too i think what makes this one awesome is that there's always a scene in the episodes we watch that feel slightly weaker than the rest because they knew this is going to be cut for syndication in this episode every scene matters

it is a meticulously built like clock that every part has to work for it to be a mystery yeah and we're not gonna spoil the ending but you know it and once you know it you can look at like wow they laid this the groundwork for you to think it's everybody so well it's all there there's a million places yes this and can i i know we're gonna talk about the behind the scenes but it gets speculating now that i've worked for some big companies it is a better animated episode it's very well structured and to me it's very clear more time went into this episode than anything else to make it feel like a movie they'd never done a two-parter before and part of that haven't since is because i think someone

else was paying a bit part of the bill because this was part of a giant promotional campaign yes yes actually whenever you want to get into it but like but that's generally how things enhance themselves with some corporate sponsorship. I think this rose above because it had extra money and time to put more care into everything. So this was in part a contest, which actually does not cheapen the show at all. No way. Just forget about that. It was a contest sponsored by 1-800-COLLECT.

Of course, the mystery is who shot Mr. Burns. When you would make a collect call during the summer of 95, both you and the person you called would be entered in this contest. I don't know if it was like, if you think it was Smithers, press one. If you think it was Marge, press two. Well, they talk about on the commentary that somebody just had to win. They had to make it random. So it wasn't the person who just- You weren't actually choosing anything.

You weren't actually picking the winner. Though they did say someone really picked the winner and added two media. But maybe we get into that in part two. Yeah, we can get into it. But the commercial, we've got one of the classic commercials for this. So there were several of these, and basically we are in a pre-YouTube, pre-streaming world, and you can obviously record this episode and watch it over and over, but in case you just watched it once, this commercial is there to fill you in on moments from the show

that were highlighting specific culprits that could have shot Mr. Burns. And people all over the country are choosing 1-800 collect to make collect calls so that they and the person they call can be entered a nationwide manhunt is on to find out who gunned down springfield's richest man we now take you to police headquarters calling all cars calling all cars this is the chief be on the lookout for the following mods. Groundskeeper Willie. His little slip of the tongue makes him a prime suspect. I'll kill that Mr. Burns! Snake, this small-time hood has a rap sheet as long as his hair.

Claims to have an alibi, but will it hold water? I was in the can. If you can solve the mystery, you could win the prize of a lifetime. A chance to be animated with The Simpsons. Every time you complete a 1-800-COLLECT call, you and the person you call are automatically entered. Or call 1-800-COLLECT call, you and the person you call

are automatically entered. Or call 1-800-RULES-FOR-YOU for details and alternate means of entry in the Simpsons Mystery Sweet Stakes. Keep watching Fox for clues and don't miss

the Simpsons season premiere on September 17th to find out who done it and to see if you're a winner. So just like any other contest of the era, there were alternate means of entry.

You could write in Mr. Burns on a 3x5 postcard. It sucks. It sucks. It's all these awful legal requirements to giving away stuff. And One In The Collective wanted to get involved in it, partially to advertise the new service at the time. But they were really into

doing a Who Shots JR riff because Matt Groening actually suggested it. Yeah, I believe he went to Oakley and Weinstein's office where they worked for most of their time on the show. He came to them with that idea because this predates all of us. Oh, yeah. The Who Shot JR Dallas phenomenon, which we just talked about on a RetroNauts recording you'll hear much later. But this was the resolution of the Who Shot JR plotline onallas was the third most watched scripted tv episode in

american television history it was something that built up all summer which it's different now but netflix does this with every show that they have to have every season and on a sort of cliffhanger they have every episode and on a cliffhanger so you keep watching but the way it works now is you wait a whole year you watch it all at once yeah you wait a whole year. You watch it all at once. Yeah. You wait a year for the resolution of that cliffhanger. In this case, no episodes had cliffhangers except for the occasional season finale on dramatic shows. And then you'd go crazy all summer thinking, what happened to Person X? Now every show has like a season finale that's a big cliffhanger.

A mid-season finale that's also a cliffhanger. And I believe in I Married Marge, Homer has the I Shot JR t-shirt when he takes off his gulp implosion uniform. But in case you're wondering, the other two things that beat this episode of Dallas named Whodunit. Number two is the Cheers finale, which aired in 92, I believe. And number one is the MASH finale. So huge TV events. No one is ever going to be watching that much TV at one time, except for the Super Bowl,

which always gets 100 plus million people watching it. But that really shouldn't count. No, but we were not alive in 1980. It made Chris for a little bit of 1980, but you were basically barely able to talk and move around. So you don't remember who shot the JR mania. No. In any way.

Yeah, I know that he got shot. The JR was Larry Hagmanman the lead on the show or the the pater familius of the dallas family and he had shot by a character and it was revealed to be kristin shepherd who shot him i see and that was only scheming sister-in-law and mistress well now you ruined it but that was only 15 years ago so that's basically like 2002 compared to now not that long ago from 1995 yeah oh that god that makes me feel so old so not a very distant memory for the 1995 viewers that's true yeah and uh my parents lived through it but this was a comedic take on it and yet i would dare say i bet it works better as a mystery than who shot jr even i think so and i have to say that pre-dvds easily my most watched episode on vhs of the simpsons was this episode same here all in on the mystery

all summer long i watched this over and over and over again because i wanted to figure it out, and I skipped several of the red herrings, but I fell for Smithers. I was like, okay, it's Smithers. I think I did, too. I was like, it's got to be Smithers. Yeah. Were you on the internet looking into? No, I was not on the internet. I wasn't either, and I don't know who I thought it was, but I'm pretty sure it was Smithers.

And I watched it more than any other episode before DVDs, too, Henry. Not just because of the mystery, but because of the hype and because it's just a great episode where there was nothing else for an entire summer. What else am I going to do? I remember rationalizing that it was Smithers because it would be easier to forgive him and allow him to go back to his normal form. Everybody else would have been in jail.

I mean, Oakley and Weinstein wanted it to be Barney. They wanted a huge change in the series. Like, let's put Barney in jail. And you never see Barney again. But, no boyfriend! They wanted a huge change in the series. Like, let's put Barney in jail. And you never see Barney again. Yeah. Just like, yeah, that it was. But, well. No boyfriend.

We'll get into this in part two of why they decided who the killer was. I mean, can we say who the killer is now? All right. It was Maggie. It's Maggie. We all know that. And there are very broad clues scattered throughout this episode that are pointed out on the commentary. But there's lots of pairings of W and S and M and S and lots of mentions of three o'clock and three o'clock

on lots of clocks on the show. So it's pointing out that Burns, he's pointing to Maggie Simpson on the sundial. That's what all these clues are pointing to. It's beautiful. It's so beautiful. And that's why they perfectly worked it all together. Yeah.

And that's why Mo becomes Mo Sislak. Seymour Skinner becomes w seymour skinner which never comes up again thank god and it just like so many things that are laid in perfectly merkin oakley and weinstein together made i think the best episode of the simpsons at least the best scripted episode also i believe this one is uh jeffrey lynch and it's west archer on part two and this is one of the best animated ones too harry shearer is amazing he is so good in this everybody's great in this one but harry shearer is the best and i think too yeah that uh oh yeah just so you know who won that 800 collect contest was a woman named fayla gibson who chose to not be on the anime of the show and took the cash prize

instead so it's why we can't point the mystery i wanted to get to the bottom of like finding the character yeah well i mean would you take the i always wondered if i won the simpsons house would i be like give me three hundred thousand dollars i don't want this house like but i feel like i could have sold that house for even more yeah i think that's what the winner actually did oh god but yeah oakley weinstein we talked to them oakley a little bit about this episode in that I wondered if this trained them to be showrunners because they had to be so involved in this episode. They had to keep so many secrets to themselves, too.

Yeah. Weinstein actually has been sharing recently at the time of this recording on Twitter scenes cut from it. And he talks about how the scripts were given. They printed out the exact number of scripts for the actors actors and then they took them back when it was over so when he's sharing one of the cut scenes he explains that all these lines are highlighted in it they're like yeah they're the dan's lines this was dan kessler's script i took from him because he couldn't be trusted with it and all of the actors are recording lines that were never animated just to fool the actors so they were

actually paying people for work that would never come to anything outside of maybe the clip show next season where they did animate some of the stuff. Maybe a perfect episode. We got a lot of clips to get through. Let's start with the opening, which to let you know, it's an Oakley and Weinstein opening. It's a nice, boring Seymour Skinner. Ah, is there nothing so intoxicating as the school hallway at early morn? School normally doesn't smell so rank. Ah, wash basin fresh.

That funk must be coming from one of the classrooms. Ah, poor fellow. Crushed by his own water bottle. My weekly meter. Willie, sometime over the holiday weekend, the beloved grade four gerbil Superdude lost his life. I need you to air out the classroom

and give Superdude a proper burial. From second one, the plot kicks into gear. Superdude is the catalyst for the oil and everything to follow. Don't waste any time. I just became obsessed over, did your school or class have a class pet that everybody got to take home? No, I did not have a class pet.

We had a hermit crab, but no one took it home. That's extra cheap. Yeah. I'm guessing Superdude replaced Lumpy, the school snake. Oh, right. So they cut it open. But that line from Skinner, Superdude. Then we find out Willie's father was thrown in the bog, which must have happened after

he was hung for stealing a pig. What else do you do with a hung man? I guess so, yes. And my weekly reader, A Real Magazine, I remember reading that in grade school. It ran from 1928 to 2012. Whoa. Yes. It lasted far into the digital age.

I would go straight to the comics page, and then once the comics were over, I was like, I guess i can read it was no highlights yes no ranger rick it lacked the goofus and gallant of highlights saint aphesiocratis is not a real saint based on my search up to it's a great name maybe he's the patron saint of saint kirga glue wagons the painter saint of dead hamsters then there's a really a very real scene of kids blaming farts on one another i love i never read it like that this this is like one of the earliest fart jokes on the simpsons and millhouse knows what his farts smell like yuck what reeks smells like one of van houten's it does not

it's over the floor is shaking ralph remember the time you thought ralph is dead you don't see where ralph goes but probably through the roof i love that gag that's one of so many gags in this episode of callback you have to have watched if you were an obsessive simpsons watcher you know this is a callback to all the Ralph Wiggum randomness of, it's Hoover. He was going to the bathroom. But yeah, I've been in classes of, if there was a smelled fart, you're like, who did it?

It was really where you found out the hierarchy of the room of who gets blamed for this fart. Yeah, and whether whoever smelled it dealt it. That doesn't make sense. An accuser is not almost never the guilty person. But you denied it, dealt it. Like, that doesn't make sense. An accuser is not, almost never the guilty person. But you denied it, supplied it. No!

It's how cool do you have to be to get that statement to work for you? Yeah, it shows if you can, shows you're cooler than the kid that you were able to blame. That's how I knew I wasn't at the bottom of the rung in a class. I was close to it,

but there was a kid more mocked than me. And so I could see that a fart got blamed on him before me and everybody would be like man this kid sucks if you want to prove your non-guilt you need a rhyme of some sort it always works you know the glove doesn't fit you must acquit pissy chrissy so then we get to meet burns and boy this is a this is a real test of the voice actors, and I love this fucking scene. I need to send this parcel with the profit projections to Pete Porter in Pasadena. And it absolutely positively has to be there overnight. Pete Porter, pass it on. Pasadena, promptly. Package of parcel processing, pronto.

Forgot, Brenda, yes. Profoundly pressing package of power plant profit projections for Pete Porter in Pasadena. Priority precisely. Woo! Let's get passed from person to person here. I love this music. Here's your package, Mr. Burns. My name is the return address, you senseless dunderpate.

Smithers, who is this nincompoop? I've worked here for ten years, and my boss doesn't even know my name. Well, that's going to change right now. My name is Homer J. Sip. Ow! Sounded large when I ordered it. I can't make hide nor hair of these metric booby traps. Thousand grams.

Ow! Again, another callback. You have to know, he never remembers Homer's name. It's worth the show acknowledging that running joke. Acknowledging the joke, finally. It's beautiful. And also the commercial reference that predates us as well. People our age will recognize the voice actor from another series of commercials.

But that's why the dialogue is at such a fast pace. It's a FedEx commercial starring John. Congratulations on your deal in Denver, Dave. I'm putting you down to deal with Dallas. Don, is it a deal? Do we have a deal? It's a deal. is at such a fast pace. It's a FedEx commercial starring John. Congratulations on your deal in Denver, Dave. I'm putting you down to deal with Dallas. Don, is it a deal? Do we have a deal? It's a deal. I got to go.

I got a call coming in. Hi, Doc. Just dealt with Don. In this fast-moving, high-pressure, get-it-done-yesterday world, aren't you glad there's one company that can keep up with it all? You got a deal.

Good. I'm putting you down to deal with Dick. Dick, what's the deal with the deal? Are we dealing? We're dealing. Dave, it's a deal with Don, Doc, and Dick. Doc, it's a deal with Dave, Dick, and Dave. Don, it's a talk with Dick, Dave, and Doug.

Got to go, Dave. Disconnecting. Got to go, Dick. Disconnecting. Got to go, Dan. Disconnecting. Federal Express. That's the line that Byrne says. It's the Federal Express catchphrase. That's John Machida, who did have the world record as the world's fastest talker. Micromachines guy. Micromachines from Galoob.

That's how we would know him. Yeah, they hired him for one Say by the Bell episode when he was playing the uh a math teacher or something the kids couldn't keep up with their pencils caught on fire it sucked you also may know him as an annoying transformer in transformers the movie yep yeah he was the microscope no he wasn't the microscope i forget it he's just in the movie so i i did have a separate commercial but it's more visual but from 1979 it's it is the same thing of handing off the parcel to the lower level person to deal with it, which is also the part of the Joker 2. Yeah, that was a one-minute commercial, and I got past that just so you could hear the guy talk. Are the multiple smash cuts to Burns' face zooming in?

Is that from the commercial too? Yeah. There are multiple commercials. Yeah. It actually really speeds up of just like, I need you to. It's really great. Look up the 79 one as well but it's kind of so it's kind of both of those together these sped up uh alliterative words of

micro machines guy but also the passing off of the parcel around and yeah that's the that was the fedex saying i think it is still the if i wanted to send something overnight i guess i still think of fedex you know there's an arrow in the fedex logo yes i saw that god that that metric booby traps it was also burns his plan to murder him yeah i guess like you wished he had flattened him dead what happened to the trap door i guess he decided it was more fun to drop things yeah though he also he should be getting a suction tube on homer send him to india i guess somewhere in the india Middle East. They also can't resist a good Chalmers appearance. So Chalmers shows up and

the school exploded. He knew it was Springfield. And also the way Skinner tosses Superdude away. He's like, thank you, Superdude. And he throws him. Yes, yeah. It's so beautiful. So then we get another moment of Burns burns burns doing physical

fitness for better tyranny is a pretty good gang and it's something though they reuse for 22 short films of a tandem bike that only smithers is riding with burns putting his legs up on smithers back it looks a lot like the executive washroom in simpson and delilah it must be adjacent there has to be a modern joke of smers wearing Burns Fitbit at this point. There has to be. If not, hire me. I'm filled with those. And it's also like, to show you how evil Burns is getting from the start here,

that he can't stand that a school would make money. He just can't. How dare this energy musky vote? Well, that's what feels so cinematic about it. This money belongs to a rich man. They crank his evil up so much in order to give everyone a motive. I love it. I fucking love it.

Cartoonish supervillainy, and Smithers will put it in the next episode. Watching this, I wish this episode, the first part, was an hour or 90 minutes alone. I would have been very happy with that. It's so packed. The one thing we're missing, though, the one really unrealistic thing is this money would belong to the state, not Principal Skinner, not the school. It's the state's property. It's true packed. The one thing we're missing, though, the one really unrealistic thing is this money would belong to the state, not Principal Skinner, not the school. It's the state's property. It's true. Yeah, oh well.

A non-profit organization with oil? I won't allow it. Oil doesn't belong in the hands of Betsy Bleedingheart and Maynard G. Muskievote. Sir, have you had enough exercise for this morning? No.

Let's go another 20 miles. Playing pinball is so great. Hello, Lenny, Carl, Guillermo. Hello, uh, um, oh, um, um. Don't take it so hard, Homer. He's always screwing up people's names. Yeah, at the picnic, he thought my son Reynaldo was my son Rolando. Can you believe that? The best part of that is Homer's wearing two name tags and Guillermo is wearing a full radiation suit. So great. I wish Guillermo had returned,

but just from seeing Guillermo's eyes... You know, I never read that as the joke, that you can't even see Guillermo it's anybody in a radiation suit Burns just can't even read it it's so great The Simpsons will be right back When you really care about someone you shout it from the mountaintops.

So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care? Before owls drown us out with their incessant hooting, you should sign up for Patreon.com talking simpsons

that is where you will find tons of awesome exclusives including every episode of the show a week early and ad free exclusives like our entire run of talking critic where we go through every episode of the critic from the beginning until the very end that includes the webisodes specials like our holiday special where we went through the X-Men story episode of Futurama, and tons of exclusive interviews with people who worked on the show, including former executive producers Bill Oakley, Mike Scully, and the woman who wrote the first ever episode of The Simpsons, Mimi Pond. Not to mention tons more exclusive stuff out there. Only $5 a month if you sign up at patreon.com slash talking

simpson the more the merrier helps me and bob do this full time and focus on some really cool stuff that's coming up in 2018 keep an eye out for it folks Before the lamp runs away, it's time for you to get your tickets to the Talking Simpsons live show. January 28th, 2018. We are going to be having a live podcast recording in San Francisco as part of the SF Sketch Fest. Check it out on our Patreon. There's a free post on the site that'll tell you all the information you need to know on it. But we're going to be at the Piano Fight Bar 5.30 p.m. January 28th in 2018.

You should also check out the Talking Simpsons t-shirt if you still haven't. It's an awesome sky blue designed after the logo of Ion Springfield by our wonderful friend of the show Nina Matsumoto. And you can find it at shirtsicle.com or at tiny.cc slash talking shirt starts at $19.99 comes in tons of different styles and ships somewhat internationally so be sure to see if it can come to you even if you don't live in the United States so check it all out and we'll see you January 28th.

Hey, this is Sideshow Luke Perry. You're listening to Talking Simpsons on LazerTime. You like LazerTime shows? Then you might like Bonus Time, LazerTime's weekly bonus show exclusively on patreon.com slash LazerTime. Here's a taste of what you've been missing got my got my got our tree

you have like a real tree or you've been here for like two hours you haven't seen the biggest thing in the house but is it a real

tree or did you get a get one we always get a real tree Dave as of last year as a fake ones keep forever no way this

I don't like to smell got to have that smell baby what about do you have the't like the smell. You've got to have that smell, baby. What about, do you have the generic, like, the balls and that kind of stuff? Oh, yeah. You were not. I didn't look at it. They're not bitch about this.

Like, all I wanted, what do I want? Generic, reflective glass balls. And they don't fucking exist. They don't exist. I don't want opaque. I don't want glitter. I don't want stripes. I just want reflective, boring glass balls. Ace Hardware is the only place I found them. They don't want glitter. I don't want stripes. I just want reflective boring glass balls. Ace Hardware

is the only place I found them. Do you ever want to just bite into one of those? Yes, of course I did. I think I've asked that every year. Or get my sister's head stuck in it like she's Dale. And then punch her through it. Those look delicious. I know they're just pure glass. I want to put it on your head and then crack it with my fist.

Get bonus time, Laser Times Weekly, full-length, uncensored, and ad-free Patreon-exclusive podcast. As well as full-length movie commentaries, wrestling and cartoon video commentaries, the first season of Talking Simpson, and more at patreon.com slash lasertime, starting at just five bucks. You'll help us live, and we'll do our best to help you never be bored again. okay so then after homer can't get named by burns then they're wallowing in their own crapulence at the school uh in their Superintendent, we made the front page today. What's that say under your hand there? It's an unrelated article.

It's an unrelated article. Within the banner headline. Yeah. Now, to redirect our conversation slightly, I have a few ideas on how to spend this oil money. Well, we could give each student a full college scholarship. Oh, mercy. The government would never give any student.

It wouldn't happen. Yeah, I mean, sometimes it happens, but never, like, all the students in the school get full college scholarships. I love that this is the first time Skinner's used, oh, mercy. Yes. This year. It's a badass song. That's the Oakley and Weinstein expression they made up for him. I love that this is the first time Skinner's used Oh Mercy this year that's the Oakley and Weinstein expression they made up for him it was almost a catchphrase I didn't notice to that extent

didn't Bill Oakley say that they made Chalmers to be this wet blanket for jokes there's an article in the Banner headline I love those jokes now. It's proto-Steve Tams. The headline is, Awful School Gets Awful Rich,

and Skinner Obscures Awful. Anything that would just be like a sitcom laugh, he shuts down. Like, no, explain what this means. Yes. And none of these are clues, but it is hilarious what every student and faculty wants. You want a crystal bucket for my slot water?

And a brand new filthy blanket. The cafeteria staff is complaining about the mice in the kitchen. I want to hire a new staff. I'd like to start a jazz program for the music department. We've got a really great instructor lined up. Cheeto

Puente. He's ready to give up the drudgery of the professional mambo circuit and settle into a nice teaching job. Man, it will be my pleasure. Lisa has told me all your students are as bright and dedicated to jazz as she is.

Let's go now, Mr. Puente. Chocolate microscopes? You know these guitars that are like double guitars, you know? Or rubber stamps. Very practical concern. That's one of my favorite deliveries ever. You know, double guitars.

And this is my introduction to Tito Puente and all I know about him. I was just about to ask you, what Tito Puente song is my favorite? Senior Burns. Yeah, of course. Play the death jingle because... Oh, that's right.

This is death. Death stalks you at every turn. There it is. Death. He died in the year 2000. Wow. The late Tito Puente. He's been dead for a while.

And I don't know what the grind of the professional mambo scene looks like, but how many times can you play for PBS? I have no idea so they put him in the show because my matt graining is a big fan though oakley weinstein had no clue who he was and they they thought he sang songs which is why they write a song for him the next episode but he's a drummer he's not a singer and someone else sings that song isn't it i think it's a singer they hired yeah they say it was a member of his troop it does sound like his area but they say they internet says it was a person from his troop personal story about tito puente you have one just sort of well i had a friend uh who looked i swear exactly like shaggy but he he was he was and he hated uh being reminded of that but he was a jazz major.

He had a master's in jazz, actually. I feel like a Republican dad who's so not shocked right now. Boy, I felt like I made the right choices. I mastered in literature. And he played a big bass, just a big bass. That's what they're called. But anyway, and I remember his, I was there for his master's song, which is just him playing a song live that he arranged and composed with a group and

it was a cover of this song called sing a song of songs which is a very bass heavy song and look it up it's a really cool little jazz song but he had met tito puente and actually played with him at his school and it's like oh tito puente the simpsons guy and he said that's the only thing tito puente has ever told about and it's kind he thought it was very disrespectful to tito i feel like we gotta file him into like a steve sax category where like no one mentions what you actually do they mention your simpsons appearance sax is a jazz musician right steve sax yeah but it's that tito puente i'm sure they sold way lots of albums for him i i think he i would if I was Tito Puente

I'd be like this exposure was great I got rich off this Simpson stuff I mean I've never listened to an entire Tito Puente song other than Mr. Burns but it's a great song it's beautiful we'll hear that in part two I also just love that they recognize Tito Puente immediately like Chalmers and Skinner they're all into Mambo It's beautiful. And the way Lisa just walks him away like, okay, Mr. Point. So there's one more student who has a request, which I fucking, this is almost like a show for me. I fucking love this so much. The animation is so great in this scene too. Principal Skinner, this is your secretary.

There is one last student here to see you. That's odd. I don't have a secretary. Or an intercom. Let's send him in. Hi there, Dean. I understand you're picking suggestions from students, eh? Well, me and my fourth form chums think it would be quite corking if you'd sign off your oil well to the local energy concern.

Mr. Burns. It was naive of you to think i would mistake this town's most prominent 104 year old man for one of my elementary school students i want that oil well i've got a monopoly to maintain i own the electric company and the waterworks plus the hotel on baltic avenue that hotel's a dump and your monopoly is pathetic the school's oil well is not for sale particularly to a black-hearted scoundrel like yourself. I see. Oh, it's beautiful. We don't get a lot of two-character elongated scenes like this. Skinner almost never has scenes with Burns.

No, everyone in that scene is Harry Shearer. Yeah, that's true. Smithers, Skinner, and Burns. Skinner only knows him as not the only 104-year-old man in Springfield, just the most prominent. That's his only frame of reference for Burns, and I just wish they didn't say his age. I want to speculate about it forever. That is the introduction of his age.

In Simpson and Delilah, he was revealed to be 81. Homer guesses he's 102. He's like, I'm only 81. But Oakley and Weinstein officially make him 104, which would continue on like in Homer the Smithers. After Homer punches Burns,

he then says, I punched Mr. Burns in his 104 year old face. 104 is the perfect age. It's conceivably old enough to still be alive thanks to being a billionaire but yeah I think it's a good age for him.

And him dressed as Jimbo was the original hello fellow students fellow children. It is the most difficult Halloween costume I've always wanted to pull off. I am Burns as Jimbo.

And if you want to know about Burns' lingo, fourth form means the 10th grade. Oh, wow. I guess Jimbo is 14 or 15 maybe, but still way too old for the elementary school.

I miss Googling Burns references. And corking means extremely good. Like, very good. Apparently, according to the internet, it's still slang in England. This is actually... Well, fourth form is like a British term for a school grade. Did he perhaps go to school in England in 1920?

Most fancy pants rich people did back then. That's true. He's a Rhodes Scholar, Burns is perhaps. But I also love, as somebody who played a lot of games in Monopoly, even as a kid, I love that. It is a terrible monopoly one of the first spaces right yeah well owning the water having a monopoly on the waterworks and electric company is terrible like nobody ever lands on them and it's like oh it's it's it's

double it's 20 times whatever they rolled on the dice like it's not a big deal you're much better off with railroads than than that monopoly and and Baltic Avenue is one of the crappier places on it. It is. It's also beautiful to see Skinner stand up to him. And then Smithers wanting to attack Skinner. And all he has is the stapler, which the staples fall perfectly. Yeah, the act break. Please don't waste those.

It's really great. Then we come back and we find out that Bart wanted to clone the three stooges that was his plan which i love that bart can even accept like oh yeah they'd want to be their families wouldn't they yeah not the strange little boy i think three stooges might be the oldest thing that still airs regularly on television still airs yeah i double checked that like ifc or something like that you know the independent film channel it's the most popular popular vaudevillian actors. I was so scarred by the Three Stooges video game that I just can't enjoy them. I was like, I gotta eat this soup.

It's crazy. It's one of the first weird minigame compilation for someone who can't think of what to do with their licensed product. And I didn't find out until years later how ultra-specific and fanservice-y that fucking game is. Yeah, it's based on specific shorts. It's awful, though. So, meanwhile, Homer is bothered that Burns can't remember his name. And Marge says, I like that Marge says the chocolate box of chocolate ideas. And then Homer is, like, such a dick of saying, like, it's not really your idea, is it?

It's also kind of fanservice-y that it's building in lore and how Marge's parents got together. That's true. It's kind of cute. So it's a photo of him with chocolates in it, but Homer made the mistake of sending a family photo, not just his photo. He didn't listen to Marge. And in my constant rewatches, I thought this was a one-off gag,

not a key clue to it. Pish posh. It would be like taking candy from a baby see that sounds like a larf let's try it right now uh there's some candy right here sir why don't we eat this instead of stealing oh very well oh look there's a photo in here. Yes. I believe that little Maggie Simpson, the baby who found my precious teddy bear, Boo Boo. And that Simpson Mutt, my former guard dog.

Beautiful. That's Bart Simpson. He was my heir for a brief period, you know? Yes, sir. I remember. Anything left? Only the sour quince logs, sir. Dispose of it.

And send a thank you note to Marge, Bert, Lisa, and Maggie Simpson. That scene, as a continuity mega nerd, it satisfied me so much. Me too. It was all episodes. It rarely references itself, let alone specific references to previous episodes. And these are all the things that Burns does not remember when he sees these characters again previously. The best thing I never latched onto in previous viewings was like, he remembers the dog. Yes. But he never...

For MacArthur. He hadn't had an experience with Lisa yet. So they don't have that scene. He didn't have a specific experience with Lisa. Lisa's animal sleep. But he did remember the episode Rosebud where Maggie finds Bobo, Dog of Death where Santa's little helper runs away and becomes his guard dog and burns his air where Bart becomes Burns's air. I love the sour quince log sliding across Homer's face like a piece of shit.

Yeah, it is. It's the closest thing to a turd we've seen on some scenes. You're right. In a way, it just stains Homer's face. In any sampler box, I hate these sour fruit chocolates that are filled with liquid and stuff.

It's disgusting. I Googled this just because I've never really heard that word before, and it's another one of those things that The Simpsons owns Sour Quince on Google but it is a thing it's exactly what you're describing. I just hate like Cherry Cordials

I'm sure there are people out there who like them I'm sorry. Well like Patty, Patty loves Cherry Cordials Oh right yeah it's like biting into an insect. No I that's why when I get if I get a box of chocolates I want a themed box of chocolates like all caramel all creams all that stuff.

Get the fruit out of here. Unless it's like a strawberry covered in chocolate, that's fine. Not like some weird jam or, I don't know, pickled whatever. Coconut's not my favorite to get in there either. I'm not the biggest fan of it. Or the toffee pieces where we're like, this is to break your teeth when you don't know what it is uh but yeah so it's oil appreciation day at uh at the school which we get some nice cameos from both leopold and don de langer don de langer's there uh again more history that could have been anybody yeah and skinner insults the high school right to don

de langer's face seeing skinner and don de langer together too is kind of funny like they've never been in the same space before there's also a great moment on they put out on the commentary that i just noticed because of the commentary i just remembered rather in that skinner introduces lisa and he goes to hand her the microphone but lisa just pulls the switch he's like oh i shouldn't have done that he pulls back the microphone it's a really they had to like think of that mistake in animation to make oh it's beautiful yeah and hearing somebody in the audience shout nerd yeah that was nelson i think i i would think so. But the slant drilling company, that is like what fracking is now, right? Just like causing earthquakes, destroying the planet.

Yeah, fracking's even worse. I find it funny that in a small town, you can just explode oil in the middle of the town, which was what the school was going to do, too. Yeah. When that one drop falls, you're like, well, wait, if this had gone according to plan, everyone would be covered in oil. Ither show exactly except oil which i would never want on my crude oil not even refined oil and so when this moment happened i think you have a clip for this too i don't want to have to explain how burn steals the oils i want to let daniel plainview

oh okay Oh my god. Drainage, Eli, you boy. Drain dry. I'm so sorry. If you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw, there it is. That's a straw, you see.

Watch it. My straw reaches across the room and starts to drink your milkshake. I drink your milkshake. I drink it up. Don't bully me, Daniel. And then he murders him.

Yeah. Oh, my God. I didn't even think of that line because when I was watching that movie in the theater a decade ago, I thought of Mr. Burns. I immediately thought of Mr. Burns. Yes.

Even though that's one of the most iconic scenes in modern cinema, I'd say. Did anyone blame PTA on plagiarism? Yeah. Black Sheep, I remember, took a lot of heat for that, for stealing the end of Sideshow Bob Roberts.

But that was so beautiful, that ending, because the scene in There Will Be Blood is that... Is that Daniel Plainview played by Jesus Christ. Now I lost his name.

Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis. So Plainview is getting an offer from the kid he hates. Paul Day-Lewis. It Day-Lewis. So Plainview is getting an offer from the kid he hates. It's a portrait of an awful man. And more than he wants money, he wants to destroy this preacher because he has faith in something. He's a man who was destroyed by his greed and lost everything. And now at this point, he just loves being miserable.

Yes. A bastard in a basket. And 30 years later, he's alienated everyone. And he had one guy left. And he comes crawling to him asking for money. To say, I didn't sell you our old place that had the most oil. But I'll do it now. I'll do it now.

And he says, I stole it years ago. And it's, I love it. I love that scene. And the title was accurate. There was blood at the end. So he didn't lie. He cracks his head open with a bowling pin. And he goes, I'm finished.

So yeah, once I saw it, when i saw the film i also immediately thought of burn slanted drilling and it's it's an important plot point that again you can't if somebody gets the oil first it's not your oil it's a natural resource it's whoever gets to it first and i love the slogan for his company because he's 104 year old man the slogan is building a better tomorrow for him yes Yes. He's 104 years old. That's true. He's just going to die with more money. And so, also, burns slanted oil, then blasts oil right in the Simpsons' backyard and smashes it.

And there's a moment that it's... Homosexual. Yes. But it's not even funny of Santa's little helper's legs are broken. It's sad. It's pretty tragic. A dog is harmed badly. That is where Burns really crosses the line, I think, in making him the villain.

He's only been villainous, but hurting an animal like that, like an animal that we know. Who he will later laugh in the face of that animal. It's one of those weird things that makes the episode feel cinematic and big and different. Burns definitely goes too far in multiple areas. And so, yes, when Bart finds out what happened, he is not happy. I'll get even with whoever did this to you, boy. I swear it. Whoops, almost forgot.

Wouldn't want you none on those casts, eh, boy? Ha ha! Ha ha! Now, Bob, as a parrot owner, did you like nelson has his own parrot yes because my parrot laughs i didn't teach it how to laugh but it just picked up laughter so i'll be watching something and he'll start laughing and i'll be like it's not funny what are you laughing at and also again more history it was that could have been any vet, but they used the vet. Yeah. He trained in Santa's Little Helper and Dog of Death. The Ben Casey style vet.

Yeah, it's wonderful. Like, this feels like the series finale of The Simpsons because they're bringing back everything. So many things are paying off. Oh, it's beautiful, yes. And that Bart has sworn revenge, as will the entire school. I'm afraid we've got no legal recourse against Mr. Burns and his slant drilling operation. The oil belongs to whoever pumped it first. What about all the expensive stuff we wanted?

Can we still have it? No. No. Blasted! In fact, to pay for the construction and operation and demolition of our new Derek, the school will have to eliminate all non-essential programs, music,

and maintenance. I'll kill that mr burns and wound that mr smithers i don't i don't want to harp on it but like it's willie ripping his shirt open there's like no reason for that to happen other than like just extra drama extra callback yeah to everything like buff willie underneath there yeah or maybe make him more scary i i don't know i just couldn't i've really there's so much right around the time the skinner lisa microphone stuff i'm like this is overwhelming this is almost overwhelming this is coming so fast yeah and i love his paws and then like and woo that mr smith is like his point finger up as he said it like this yeah again, well animated, well written, like so tightly structured.

This gives Largo a motive, too, which never comes up again. This is a 22-minute show. I know. And then he says what, and Tito says K at the same time. It's a cute little joke, too. But it goes so fast, you almost don't even get it. Like, this is so fast. And then immediately we have Homer's reason, too.

I think probably the edgiest joke. They say one-fourth of fuck. Oh, no, that's awful, Mr. Puente. What? Oh, he owns the nuclear power plant. Yeah, I'd like to settle his hash, too. Dad, how could you work for a man like

Mr. Burns? Well, he's not all bad. He did send me this nice thank you card. Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie. Dad, this doesn't have your name on it. Kids, would you step outside for a second? Dear Lord, that's the loudest profanity I've ever heard. The sound to the church organ is the perfect sound cut. It's so good.

It's almost the exact same way they managed to make a diehard movie PG-13. I wonder if Dan Castle wanted to scream the word fuck. I think he did. I hope it's somewhere and somebody has that clip. It's got to be on somebody's cassette reel. Well, I've heard them tell the story that when they did him for the swear jar, he did the full swears. And Groening was freaked out. Just like, I didn't know Homer knew those words.

And then right after that, we then get into Moe's Bar, which as a Comedy Central fan, I was mad at myself for not getting this clue. Because I knew it was mystery science theater on tv it's like awesome mystery science theater reference on here i would not have that on my cable network until the next year but right before that shot of mystery science theater it's pardon my zinger weekdays at 3 p.m 3 p.m thus giving smithers his alibi pardon my zinger by the way sounds Sounds stupid. It is a way better name than whose line it is in any way a reference to a Richard

Dreyfuss movie about a drama about right to live. Really? Whose life is it anyway? I had no clue. I watched 8 million episodes that show. So until like 5 years ago I assumed this was real because Comedy Central was a dead end cable network that would just buy British programming.

I mean, that's why the joke is so perfect. It sounds like it could be a Comedy Central show in 1995. It took the South Park, I think, to really get original programming. Yeah, before Comedy Central. I remember them bragging about it. We got Ben Stein's money. And by the end of the year, we want to be 25% original programming. That's what the Comedy Central landscape is like.

And they'd gotten rid of Mystery Science Theater, which was a huge two-hour block. That was like probably 5% of all their original programming, just the two hours that filled. South Park and MST seemed like night and day in the pop culture universe, but they overlapped for like a year. I heard the Dr. Katz people say this too, that they had this feeling of when Dr. Katz started,

they're like, hey, we're doing pretty good. We're a hit. And then when South Park appeared, they're like, oh, this is what a real show is. When I would get MSC3K on tapes from tape traders, they would have the commercials on there. And it would give me a window into the world of Comedy Central before South Park. And I was like, I have never even heard of any of these shows. And you're building a lot of stuff around Paul Provenza. Yes. Yeah, I know. Like, I have never even heard of any of these shows. And you're building a lot of stuff around Paul Provenza. Yes.

Yeah, I know. Like, I'm sure he's fine. A pinjillette yelling about the premiere of Bob and Margaret. Yeah. I mean, that was post-South Park. But, I mean, there are shows that aren't even, like, Wikipedia entries that they're talking about on there. Oh, yeah, yeah. Super absurd.

Yes. Comics on delivery. What is that? We send comics to people's houses. It's 12 episodes. I love the, they had the show make make you make me laugh which i only watch because like frank conniff did like two or three episodes of it beat the geeks like all the oh yes beat the geeks a good show i feel like i bet one of those geeks

has uh has been arrested for sex crimes other than mst at this point i think their biggest original show is short attention span theater yeah which is just clips, promotional clips strung together. It's the best they can do. I love when they would show the worst Cheech and Chong movies. Oh, the Brothers Carrolers. The Corsican Brothers. The Corsican Brothers. If you think Cheech and Chong movies are bad, try watching one not based on original material.

Oh, I sound like Pendulet now. Coming up next on Talking Simpsons. But anyway, back to Moe's Bar. These fumes aren't as fun as beer. Sure, I'm all dizzyulet now. Coming up next on Talking Simpsons. But anyway, back to Moe's bar. These fumes aren't as fun as beer. Sure, I'm all dizzy and nauseous. Where's the invited sense of self-esteem? Hey, if you guys are getting loaded off them fumes, I'm going to have to charge you. Men alive.

There are men alive in here. I'm detecting over 20 different toxins in the air all right everybody out as long as burns is pumping oil this bar is closed damn burns let me just get one thing me too ah now there's the inflated sense of self-esteem. So great. And it's important to note that everyone has a different gun in this episode. It's more clues stuff.

That was definitely clues I didn't notice. I was like, well, we did not hear a shotgun, so it's not Mo. And Willie has an axe and Sideshow Mel has a knife later. And Skinner has a gun, but with a silencer, so it can't be Skinner either. Yes, be yes that's right that eliminates all of them and that was actually meant to do that like yeah it's it was on purpose all of this is on purpose which again there's so many we can make fun of like a season 11 episode where they don't give a shit about the ending they're just like look we got to the end who cares in this they care about every moment battering because because for a mystery, it has to. Oakley and Weinstein said they built it like a game of Clue.

Yeah. I love that the Simpsons wiki is pretty good. Don't get mad at me, guys. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care.

Did I mention that we care? Is it on a certain website? Yes. Okay, let's not talk about that. But they've done a great job about chronicling promo images for episodes. They had specific TV Guide advertisements. I don't know where they got the raw, big versions,

but this has like 700 promotional images. It has like five, but more than the one most episodes get. It was heavily promoted but it's an original drawing they would use in advertisements to promote specific episodes and in the in those drawings all those characters are holding the same weapons wow two of those drawings and you can see them in silhouette on as a shadow oh that's amazing they're really fun these these images put in particular really good then yes you mentioned fracking and we're causing earthquakes that's what burns his oil does as well and it knocks it cripples the

springfield retirement castle which this taught me that in an earthquake you stand in a doorway because it's one of the most secure parts of the house that's what abe does yeah that's what abe does and then i have to believe though reality, many seniors would have died. Yes. They wouldn't just be screaming, yelling for the nurse. They would be dead. Also, Mo's bar, now we know, is in proximity to the school, which violates several ordinances. Mo don't care.

And so, yes, they've gone. Has Burns gone too far? Burns says Naya hasn't gone far enough. Sir, you've certainly vanquished all your enemies. The elementary school, the local tavern, the old age home. You must be very proud. No, not while my greatest nemesis still provides our customers with free light, heat, and energy. I call this enemy the sun.

Since the beginning of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun. I will do the next best thing. Block it out. Yeah, I love the line, man has yearned to destroy the sun. And when he opens that miniature Springfield, Smithers has to jump out of the way because it's opening under him and Burns doesn't care I also love the animation the look on Smithers face when he says

my ultimate enemy the sun and then Smithers face is like what because he even he's like this is too far like that's when he realizes Burns has gone too far when he pulls out the miniature city and in reality and in the thing, Burns hollowed out a mountain and put a sunblocker in it. Wow, yeah, that's true.

It's insane that he did that. Or he built a fake mountain like at Disneyland and put a thing in it. And Smithers is being a bit passive-aggressive, listing Burns' enemies as the school, the local tavern, and the old folks' home. He's getting quite snippy. He's gone too far, and Smithers knows knows it as he says i love it good god imagine it smithers electrical lights and heaters running all day long but sir every plant and tree will die owls will deafen us with incessant hooting the town sundial will be useless perfect i i don't want any part of this project. It's unconscionably fiendish.

I will not suffer your insubordination. There has been a shocking decline in the quality and quantity of your toadying, Waylon. And you will fall into line. Now! No. No, Monty, I won't. Not until you step back from the brink of insanity. I'll do no such thing.

You're fired. Take that, Spoldorama. Take that, Convenient Smart. Take that, Nuclear Power Play. Do fiddlesticks. So if you were to ask me why I was underwhelmed by the Simpsons movie, this is why. Burns is the best Simpsons villain. His cackling while stomping on the model town is perfect. Yes.

Him refusing to go away from the brink of insanity and firing Smithers. Oh, do no such thing. He's mad. Smithers isn't toting enough. The quality and quantity of your toting. Goddamn. And I just. He calls him Waylon.

He never calls him Waylon. I just love the. He never calls him Monty. I love the animation of Monty surrounded by all the more money he has just from the oil, which is just extra money for an already rich man. And just shoving the third wad of bills in his wallet. And he can't. So he has to just toss it behind him.

He's crossing so many lines. Like, this is peak burns. He can never be this evil ever again. It's beautiful. The pointing out of the sundial. It feels natural, but it is so plot important. It's beautiful. Yes. Unbelievably well-structured episode and sequences.

Almost all the sequences in Burns' office are like, this looks better. The offices never look better. If you compare it to how it looks in, say, Homer the, eh, it's a functional office in that. They build a 3D rotating version of it later on. Yeah. Oh, God. Yes. So Homer's Imagination of Burns.

Also amazing animation. Oh, oh my God. I love Lookout, and they're all cringing in the back. In a Gene and Reese episode, they would have just had a floating head go by. But in this, they topped it with just multiple burns

poofing into existence to belittle Homer. Spithers, who is that ignoramus? Spithers, who is that lollygagger? Who is that blubberputt? Who is that bafflewit? Lumbux. Puddinghead.

Mooncat. Limp. Gould. Drizzlepuss. Fumbleface. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! What?

Ah! That's just a minute. And going into this episode knowing it's who shot Mr. Burns, when Homer gets a bag out of his trunk, you think he's going to be shooting Mr. Burns next. Yeah, that's a good point, Bob. This is a beautiful construction of this episode that it was advertised so heavily.

When you're watching from the beginning, you know these scenes are to create the they all give a reason for somebody to shoot him you know you're building and building and this it's the tension no simpsons episode has tension like this the rising tension of it and it's just beautiful even part two for the resolution doesn't have the same tension of waiting to see how and when mr burns will finally be shot yeah definitely going too far god damn it and then i would say maybe the best i don't think the show's ever been animated better than this moment of homer running at mr yeah and in an in animation camera move is so expensive and they didn't need to do this they could have just cut to a different angle but it's so great it highlights his insanity 60 pivot and a zoom out yeah at the same time this is homer

has been pushed too far and it's beautiful who! What are you talking about? Don't really make sense, man. Shut up! I can't understand what you're saying. Homer Simpson! My name is Homer Simpson! Oh, you're a dead man, Burns. Oh, you're dead.

You're dead, Burns! Wow. Ugh! Yeah. Ugh! And the great part of it is he's saying Homer Simpson, and Burns refuses to acknowledge that. He can't hear it.

Yeah. Yeah. Homer wrote, I am Homer Simpson, and it's still, nothing clicks for Burns. to acknowledge that. You can't hear it. Homer wrote, I am Homer Simpson. And it's still nothing clicks for Burns. He can't. He just has a mental block. And that they would follow it up in part two so perfectly with the only words he can say is Homer Simpson. That's right. God damn it.

Yes, that camera turned, though, to looking at Homer over his shoulder to then turn around as he runs to a bird's eye perspective yeah on my original vhs i remember going slow motion through that just to watch it it can teach you the animation process i love the sims how they bend walls in order to make those shots work and you need that shot to know how how angry homer is and to truly believe he will shoot mr burns because he can't it broke him when he holds a gun to his boss's head. One of the most violent acts Homer has actually ever committed. It's because of this helmet. Yes, and then we also get

some setup of how it could be Abe or Bart. Hey, the lamp's running away. That's my dog, man. So long, lamp. Stop loafing and help your grandpa unpack. Wow. That's my old Oh. What if a bear came through the door? I'm going to bury it in the yard where little hands can't get to it. You should have fired into the air.

She would have run off. Marge made a huge mistake in telling them where she was going to put the gun. Yeah, that's true. Maybe she thought she was saying that quieter than she did. 22 years ago, grandpa's justification for having a gun, wasn't that used? That was literally used about why you want a gun on school premises. Bears. What if a bear? With all sincerity,

somebody brought that up. Yeah, it really happened. But then Abe, again, another clue, S&W, Smith & Wesson. Yes. Another smart clue. They did it for everybody.

It could work. It's beautiful. And, oh yeah, I didn't even, I didn't capture the clip but them thinking abe was homer who melted was a great gag i love that and even marge is calling mr burnt's inconsiderate selfish even yes that she but that's that's why marge gets to be the only one who's obviously innocent in this uh in the end of the episode she's the only one who you

know didn't shoot him because she hears the gunshot. Right. And so that's why they have to set up her being the, even she can't be pushed too far to truly hate Burns in this. Though she really should. So then they have a town meeting, which we show, if you're asking why can't the government just stop Burns from blocking out the sun, they apparently can't. And they just have to hand a strongly worded letter to him. And just said, everyone is stroking guns. Yeah. Which, again, is a clever joke that the mayor's like, I'm going to get off stage now that you're all stroking guns.

But also shows you who has what guns for who could have shot him. Yeah. I was watching this while listening to it with headphones, and you can hear Hank Azaria say, sir, a lot of people are stroking guns. Yes. It's beautiful. I'm not sure that I heard that the first time I saw it. Yeah. I thought it was just like random rhubarb or whatever as a comedy central

viewer i did not like hearing that it is the height of loserdom to watch comedy central daytime but perhaps it was but yes everyone hates mr burns mr burns was the closest thing i ever had to a friend but he fired me and now i spend my days drinking cheap scotch and watching Comedy Central. Oh, dear God. Not that bad. I mean, I never miss Pardon My Zinger. Burns cost me my groundskeeping job at the school, and I'm too superstitious to take the one at the cemetery. Because of him, I lost my room, my things, and my buddy's collection of old sunbathing magazines. You bastard.

I lost my bar. I lost his bar. He robbed the school of music. He robbed the school of financial security. He robbed the school of Tito. He can't remember my name. He's causing us all to yell. Look what he did to my best friend.

What? No, my dog. I love Grandpa saying, a cause of grandpa saying a cause of him a cause of him so did smithers leave immediately to go watch pardon my singer because no oh i'll mention it when he leaves it's it was the it was the ultimate reason why i thought he did it okay but i'll mention when it comes but i just love that the old jewish man it could have been jasper but it's the old jewish man who had the sunbathing magazine that's great you best you passed it and also in treehouse of heart 2 willie did work in a graveyard

yeah but that's not canonical burns evil is escalating he and at this point he shows up just to gloat yep that shows you without smithers there on he is unrestrained in his villainy those wheels are squeaking a bit perhaps i could sell him a little oil you twisted old monster i've decided to protect myself ever since i was attacked in my office by an unidentified assailant. Don't! Arr! Burns, your scurvy schemes will earn ye a one-way passage to the Boneyard. I'd like to hear from Sideshow Mal. I'll see to it that Mr. Burns suffers the infernal machinations of Hell's grim tyrant. Yeah. You, you'll talk big, but who here has the guts to stop me?

Ned wanted a cleaned up version of the sea captain's threat. The most needless line in history. I want to hear what Sideshow Mel has to say. I want to hear what Sideshow Mel has to say. It's not the best line. It's just my favorite. Do you think that Ned wanted a classier threat after the sea captain's kind of gruff one? Or maybe he thought Sideshow Mel's like, Sideshow Mel can be more controlled.

And Ned knows who Sideshow Mel is. Yes, yeah, which is weird because he locks out the channel that Krusty would be on. But goddammit, all their threats. And yes, that also burns unidentified assailants. So Homer was not arrested after no burns it's it is strange but again setting up we're fired yeah burns looks so scary holding like that is his concealed carry pistol just walking around with it ends up after the reveal of the the sun the sun blotting out the sun he's shot like a genuine villain

as if he has superpowers just coming into the town hall meeting where everyone is and just saying like it's just so evil and again he's got an important plot point too i think this might have be my line of the show in this next clip here but let's let's give a listen one last question have you ever seen the sunset at 3 p.m i once when i was sailing around the arctic shut up one last look at the sun springfield Hey, hey! I've been in Reno for six weeks. Did I miss anything? What the... I think that was the last of the David Merkin-era running joke I've been in Reno for six weeks. Did I miss anything? What the?

I think that was the last of the David Merkin era running joke where someone makes a good point and the other person responds, Shut up! Shut up! You want to get that line in the show? Let's do it. That's the show. But I also love that appearance by Krusty because it's when you realize,

Hey, Krusty hasn't been in this whole... We've seen everybody but Krusty. And they needed to work in Krusty. He's an important character. And as a suspect. He needs to be there to be a suspect too. As we know he already stole Bart's Butterfingers. Oh right. That was the moment in the rewatch of it

when he blocked out the sun that I was like this should have been the movie. This is a movie moment. This is like too big for the world of the simpsons for a tv show god and again 3 p.m important plot point there when they're leaving like perpetual darkness that's just great then when they ask for snake that was my key moment in my rewatch that i only caught on like the seventh viewing that that's when I decided it was Smithers. Smithers walks away that I was like, okay

everybody's right there, but Smithers is clearly walking away. He must have gone to meet Burns in that alley. That's a red herring for sure. But it was him walking away to get home to watch Pardon My Zinger. Yeah, because I didn't realize that until this watch either because that's why

I do think that deserves line of the show. Because it's an example of, have you ever seen the sunset at 3 p.m.? Even a child knows Alaska has different sun setting times. So it's an easily answerable question, but it's so specific. But it's literally setting alibis for everybody. And it has to be said. And to undercut you thinking that, you're told to shut up because you become Captain McAllister. It's also a rhetorical question.

He was not looking for an answer. Oh, God, yes. But we've established a time. Yeah. 3 p.m., which, again, if I had noticed the part in my zinger thing, I would have realized that was Smithers going home, not a separate route. But that was my key reason for it. What a dumb show to go home for.

I know. Is one episode really any better than another? It's less important than the end of the world happening in Springfield, really. So, yeah, Burns is wallowing in his own crapulence. Perpetual twilight bathed in the glow of Burns brand electricity. Hello, lamp post. What you knowing? I've come to watch your power flowing.

That's odd. Mr. Smith has left his jacket behind. Whoa, that's odd. Principal Skinner left his mother behind. That's odd. Where's Homer and bart and lisa and grandpa the sound design on these final scenes is great just this eerie whistling of the wind just eerie yeah and steps so it's a clever reference but it's the one moment that just slightly takes me out of it like mr burns would not this is a song from the 60s is too recent a reference for mr burns yeah maybe it just it feels like a much older song and I got this clip just

because I am astonished how apeshit white people went for this boring fucking love Simon and Garfunkel the 59th Street Bridge song They're doing the one minute song! They're playing a Sesame Street. Slow down, you move too fast. You got to make the morning last. Just kicking down the cobblestones. Looking for fun and feeling groovy.

Here's the line, yeah. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da, feeling groovy. Here's the line Yeah So my theory is When Burns infiltrated Greenpeace as Wavy Gravy He heard this song a lot Okay I can believe that Does that song suck though? It sucks I think so right? infiltrated Greenpeace as Wavy Gravy. He heard this song a lot. I can believe that. Does that song suck, though?

It sucks. I think so, right? And Burns' move on the lamppost, it's Singing in the Rain, right? Yes, it's the Singing in the Rain movement. Excuse me, it's a La La Land reference. That's the only musical I've ever seen. Get mad, Henry. I love watching musicals starring people who can't sing and can barely dance.

They don't know what the jazz is all about. That guy. Yeah, also him in that fucking movie is like, you dumb woman. You don't understand jazz like me, a white man in his 30s. Jazz is great. Like, fuck you. Anyway, this is the moment. This is the moment we've all been waiting for. Let's do it.

After all these years, things are finally starting to go my way. I feel like celebrating. Oh, it's you. What are you so happy about? I see. I think you'd better drop it. I said drop it. Get your hands off.

Where is everybody? Hey, man. Are you okay? Won't dignify that with response. So, yeah, when Burns falls, he points to M&S and from his vantage point and also his gun

is missing yep yeah and we hear the clock strike three so we know it's exactly three bs that was oh i missed the clock striking so smithers got home in time that was another thing in my viewing on like the 17th viewing i paused and was like there's no gun his gun's missing what does it mean until he pointed it out i had no idea that the clock chiming was a clue yep i just realized that now man there's a lot going on in this episode and same with the wns which is if you want to believe it smithers waylon smithers yeah maggie simpson so good yeah and it's and it's also great to have jimbo there just to be like, are you okay? Not going to take that.

It at least gives a little chance to relax when the joke is like, no, a major character on the show just got shot. A 104-year-old man was shot. Yes, and you're going to see his blood. He has been shot. When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Desjardins.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care did i mention that we

care play down the blood though there's like you can only see a gun like only when his thing is open to see that the gun is as he's staggering around you never see an entry wound so i remember watching it at the time like is it gonna be that he's not actually shot but then they they definitely show you but very subtly i don't know what if there was some rule we already let you almost say fuck we're not gonna let you show a bloody gunshot wound and so then we get the simpsons we end the show with the simpsons only ever to be continued that was for real there was it to be continued in the movie which was a funny gag but mr burns has been shot just a minute this isn't mr burns at all it's a mask

wait it is burns his wrinkly skin looks like a mask i don't think we'll ever know who did this everyone in town's a suspect Well, I couldn't possibly solve this mystery. Can you? Yeah, I'll give it a shot. I mean, it's my job, right? So, two references. The remix of the ending theme is the theme to JFK mixed in with The Simpsons. I don't know why JFK, but Oakley and Weinstein love JFK stuff.

Yeah, they do. But also, the reason Hibbert says can you is because of the Cosby Mysteries, a one-season show that was on in this season of The Simpsons. So this is a reference to Cosby starring in a short-lived mystery series, just one season. Are they a series of movies? I remember the sort of spinoff Diagnosis Murder, the Dick Van Dyke murder show. The Cosby Mysteries. Yes. So I assume when they were writing the show, the Cosby Mysteries was debuting.

They thought it would be a big hit. It was the first post-Cosby show, Cosby Show, before Cosby. Not to be confused with Cosby. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. But also the gag of- And he Adolf Hitler'd that name. Jesus to be confused with Cosby. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. But also the gag of- And he Adolf Hitler'd that name.

Jesus Christ, you cannot use it against anything. But also the gag of can you is because they knew there was a sweepstakes when they were animating it. So the joke doesn't make much sense when there's not as active sweepstakes going on. But it was great in the moment. And then to pull back to that, he's pointing at Wiggum. To make you think they would do something that cheap. Yeah.

It's beautiful. And the skin looks like a mask. And I also see that moment of the pointing at Wiggum and Wiggum getting one joke is the passing of the baton of the lead character to Wiggum. Because in part two, Wiggum is the lead, if anybody is, in the episode. Wiggum is missing in this episode until now I have not watched the second episode yet so I remember getting a kind of feeling that they wrote the second episode after the fact I know that's not true now there's too much set up here yeah they wrote it together I can't wait till my second episode now it's still a production season six episode yeah it's also amazing to think Oakley

Weinstein worked super hard on this and then straight afterwards, like you're in charge of the show now rebuild this staff and do what you're going to do. Like, but I think if anything, uh, Oakley kind of refuted this idea or didn't think it was really connected, but I would say if anything would have sold them, I'm like, these are the guys to run the show. Yes. It is the people who built this episode with David Murphy.

Yeah. They were kind of mini showrunners for two episodes almost. Yeah. the guys to run the show yes it is the people who built this episode with david murk yeah they were kind of mini showrunners for two episodes almost yeah because they had to be so involved like brent forrester as funny as he is he wrote a script and then dave murkin worked on it some more but yeah but yeah i mean they did great work before this but this is like sort of the trial by fire can you run the simpsons and i think they pat i mean this is my favorite episode still like i watch it again i'm like yes it everything funny. Even if it's dependent on part two to pay off, this is still a very funny singular episode in a vacuum.

I cannot believe how many very fact-based plot points it sets up, and there's a joke tag to every single one of them, and they all work. It feels almost unfair to call this your favorite episode. I mean, just in general, but how can it not be yeah yeah there's so many reasons it's unfair to every other episode that this is my favorite but it still is my favorite i watch it obsessively and watching it now like 22 years later i'm like this still works even though i know the the mystery even though i know how it pays off i still love

watching all these characters do all of these things i think i think Troy McClure in the 138th episode spectacular led me to believe there was some taint to the show and we found out the baby well that just means there were no consequences for the show into his hand yeah like let's not mention this anymore like oh well not to spoil something for part two but

they Oakley Weinstein didn't want the baby they didn't want it to be Maggie but it was Merkin's idea that it should be a Simpsons family member to tie it to the main characters of the show. So I took that 138 episode line as them saying, we didn't want it to be the baby. That's right, yeah.

That's how I took it. But that's a story for part two. Yeah, so you won't have to wait three months to hear our part two. It's coming up next week as it should. Oh, I just can't. What, man, because I guess like, it's just so weird that of all the stunts to wait three months to hear our part two. It's coming up next week as it should. Oh, I can't. I just can't. What? Man, because I guess like,

it's just so weird that of all the stunts the Simpsons have done, they've never done another two-parter. No. They've never done an hour episode? They did. The closest thing to a two-parter they've done since then

is the vote for Ned to date Edna, which the Nedna thing, which I feel like. Dude, they've done a live episode. Yep. They've done a Lego episode. They've done a Lego episode. They did an episode that they held back for two years because they thought it would

be the second movie with a Kang and Kodos episode where they kidnap them. The un-canned Kang and Kodos which, thumbs down. I don't care for that, but apparently there was one one-hour episode called The Great Fats Bee. Mr. Burns is conned out of his fortune by a mysterious music mogul,

and that was in 2016. Oh, that episode, no. I heard it wasn't that great. Or the Family Guy Simpsons episode. That's a one-hour episode. But that's a one-hour episode shown on the same night, not a to-be-continued and an intentional cliffhanger. That's the closest they came to a two-part episode.

If you're following animation, you can just see... All my favorite shows, they eventually, like, we really want to do a multi-episode arc. Oh, this Rick and Morty family guy, especially South Park, which, like, stopped selling self-contained stories

almost entirely at this point. But, yeah, The Simpsons has never done it. I wondered if Draining had, like, a rule. Like, we don't do... Yeah, Futurama had more continuity. It had a multi-par we don't, we don't do. Yeah. Future had more continuity. It would, it had a multi-parter. Well,

I'm not counting the movies. I mean, they had actual multi-parters. They're saying with like family guy, this is a compliment to family guy, but they even did the, when they killed Brian, they,

it was like a four episode arc of like, no, we really replaced him with the Polly Walnuts, the dog. Oh yeah. And of course he wasn't going to stay dead. Like, come on, people. They weren't going to really keep Brian dead.

If that meme with that tattoo, R.I.P. Brian, is real, I'm too white to read the post. Brian and Paul Walker? I saw one of those. Oh, man. It's beautiful. But yes, I would say my favorite episode that we've rewatched is still tied to Mr. Plowbart's Comet. But if I had to say what is the perfect Simpsons episode as a written and animated thing and acted, I think it is this one. It's just such an escalation.

It does feel like the movie, like completely. This is two acts of the movie. This should have just, yeah, we actually, in our interview with Mike Scully, he said that they many times talked about what could be the movie. And this could have been it. Yeah.

Like this absolutely could have sort of wish it was. I want, is there any information? Like what was the writer's lives like that summer? Because there's never been a cliffhanger on the show. There, there's not a twitter yet so they can be yelled at and hounded yeah everyone was sworn to secrecy in fact the

director of this episode was like people were bugging me but they didn't tell me things there are things i didn't know and i directed this episode so yeah and that in part two silverman and west archer didn't animate the true ending until the end of the summer just to get it as close to the deadline as possible and they animated like eight different endings and everything and also that's right and but yeah the oakley weinstein kept it a big time secret only that i think only them and dave merkin really knew of the writers like the actors didn't know yeah when they were doing part one they would only find out when filming part two though even in part two, the resolution has so many things.

They could have recorded this audio in August for it. But it was the hardest summer. I don't think I ever anticipated a thing more than part two of this. I mean, I've anticipated movies for months. I was like, oh, man. The commercial you played earlier, there's multiple versions of that. And they played throughout the summer during the reruns of The Simpsons to remind you that there still is,

it was a different world. Like sometimes you didn't know when seasons ended, but to be clear, this is the last real episode of The Simpsons. Burns a shot. Who do you think did it? Every single week you watched. You have from mid-May to September 17th,

so actually four months. Not even three. The four months you are waiting. It was a long four months. I never loved The Simpsons more than this moment in time. Wow. Not even three. The four months you are waiting. It was a long four months. I never loved The Simpsons more than this moment in time in 1995. I was like,

there could be nothing better than this show. It is affirming. An affirming episode. I am right to like this. This is better than other shows. Your shows are bad. My show is the best show.

It's still astonishing whenever we or you guys do those interviews that The Simpsons writers don't feel like the show was popular. It was just popular in our world. Home Improvement, Seinfeld,

is kicking the shit out of it. It just holds up so fucking well. Definitely does. Home Improvement was number one, but now no one cares. Nobody gives a shit. Thanks for listening, folks. Thanks again for putting up with my sick voice. I promise it'll be better next time or else there will be a very special episode where I won't be here.

Let's hope that doesn't happen. I've been Bob Mackie, your host. Find me on Twitter as Bob Servo. My other podcast is Retronauts. Every Monday and occasionally a bonus episode on Friday, go to retronauts.com or look for Retronauts in your podcast machine. We've been doing it for 11 years, so if you dig into the archives,

you might find a topic you like. These guys have been on it. We've covered Simpsons games like the Simpsons arcade game, Bart vs. the Space Mutants, and Bart's Nightmare. And we've done things like the Pac-Man Christmas

special Sonic Extreme Christmas Blast whatever the fuck it's called I mean we have a Christmas episode this year too so check that one out yes with Donkey Kong

Country so yes retronauts.com or retronauts in your podcast machine everybody else and you guys just for the fuck of it while we were recording

these that we had a dedicated stream time and we had to record these before the break so we played the itchy and scratchy SNES game and Bob got way further've made more progress than i've ever made in my life it's awful total trash beatable but yeah youtube.com slash laser time and we played it because that is the game the only simpsons game that came out during season six yeah because i think we are

now at the end of i did a video video, wow, it feels like so, I guess it was longer ago than I thought, Simpsons games of 92, and there were a lot, like there were a lot of games that came out, and ports of the previous games

were coming to other systems. And I wonder if the game publishers just felt like by 94, eh, the fad's over. I think the cycle of that kind of shit would have died out for any other show. That's for sure.

But like the Simpsons started off so fast with the worst shit ever the demand for simpsons games had to make they had to make it fast like yeah so but yes you can follow this all on patreon.com slash talking simpsons where we post every episode a week early and ad free we had a holiday special on there that bob and i uh at the time of this recording haven't recorded yet but no we sure will futurama's xmas so ask me about that. You voted for it or they voted for it. I don't know if you're a patron. Can I make a prediction since I won't be there for that? Go for it.

If you didn't see, and this doesn't matter to you cord cutters out there, but SyFy just bought the rights to Futurama. They are fucking really leaning into it. They're doing like a wall-to-wall Futurama marathons because I have Sling. I watched X-Men story on demand as part of my Christmas routine I

predict this looks like there I think there will be more Futurama episodes announced very very soon because I have a feeling these are performing who I'm sorry the happy show looks lovely and I love that comic but but I don't watch sci-fi channel Chris Maloney so good and I don't watch the channel and now I am. And I have a feeling there

are millions like me tuning into this channel for the first time in a long time. And Futurama, I just like this. I like the idea that Futurama has the same kind of longevity as The Simpsons. Well, this would never happen with The Simpsons because it never stopped. But there's a reason every show comes back for one season these days and it is because

you can then charge more money for the old episodes on Netflix. I predict more. If kids aren't thinking if if people aren't thinking about the show let's say x-files they're not thinking about x-files because there's a bit of new x-files in 20 years so you can't charge as much for the old episodes but what if you made six new ones then people want to watch those old ones again they're worth more money the hill i I say. It's already worked, and we will have... It'll become the most bizarre show in history that's somehow been on Fox, Comedy Central, and Sci-Fi Channel. Other than maybe MST3K, if you count

their syndicated MST3K hour. Yes, hosted by... Peter Graves, the biography guy. Or the other biography, whatever. But anyway, yes, patreon.com slash TalkingSimpsons, tons of cool stuff there. Tons of cool interviews. We just did a couple really great ones. And also, I guess we're at the end of season six, so we're going to have some end of season stuff coming up soon.

End of season, all that good stuff. Yes, yeah. And, of course, coming very soon, our live show, January 28th at not 3 p.m., but 5.30. You better be there or in jail. Have you ever seen a podcast at 5.30 p.m. but 530 you better be there or in jail have you ever seen a podcast at 530 p.m. so check that out it's at SF Sketch Fest and

oh my god this is the end of a marathon Simpsons podcasting for us so my voice is almost as bad as yours Bob my 20th podcast in 10 days somebody free me thank you so much for listening folks we'll see you next week with Who Shot Mr. Burns part 2 The beginning of Season 7 everybody Thank you, Superdude.