Talking Simpsons - Talking Simpsons Xmas Special - Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Episode Date: December 23, 2015

Merry Christmas, Simpsons fans! In this very special episode, we’re talking a look back at the show that started it all.

Merry Christmas everybody this is Chris just to say thank you to all of you and especially to those of you at patreon.com slash laser time who crowdfunded this very show into existence a few months ago it made Talking Simpsons a reality and because of that those donors have

exclusive access to our season one Talking Simpsons episodes however this being Christmas is the first episode Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire we wanted to make it available to you if you're familiar with the format of Talking Simpsons episodes. However, this being Christmas, is the first episode. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire. We wanted to make it available to you. If you're familiar with the format of Talking Simpsons, we'll never have another timely holiday ever again. But we wanted to let you hear this.

Plug patreon.com slash lasertime. You can get the rest of the 12 episodes there, if you'd like, for as low as $5. That's it. Thank you very much. Please enjoy Simpsons Roasting on Open Fire. Hello, everybody, and welcome to Talking Simpsons, the Laser Time Network Simpsons podcast. This is your, I guess I'm the host, maybe?

Indeed you are. Probably. Bob Mackie, you know me from RetroNuts. Wow, Bob Mackie! Thank you so much. There you go. That clip gets played

so often on Lazer Time these days. I love it. Even when I'm not here. Even when you're mentioned, you have a clip that gets played. Yes, and who else is here today?

Ah, Chris Santista. I would say the biggest Simpsons fan in the room. Wow, we're going to fight. We'll fight it out! I'm Henry Gilbert. Isn't this show about fighting each other to see who the greatest

Simpsons fan is? There's going to be a lot of e-penises thrown around. Executive producer credits? Yes. Sweet. I think these days you win being the best Simpsons fan by being how cynical. Who can be the most cynical about something? It's who stopped watching first. That's right. And what does Talking Simpsons do, Bobby?

We are going to go through every episode, presumably, unless one of us dies, which hopefully won't happen during a recording. But we're going to start where it all started, and that's with the Christmas special Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire. Indeed. Did I forget anything about what we're doing? No, no. We're talking about this.

Talking Simpsons will hopefully discuss every episode of The Simpsons in order, but only Patreon donors are hearing my voice right now. This is on YouTube. Stop listening. It's illegal. So because of you, I'm taking a treasure bath when I get home with all of your quarters. Money fight!

See, this is a great place, a repository for all our Simpsons references that infect every other podcast. So hopefully we could, like, we had to give Daveave his own wrestling show so he'd stop bringing it up on regular shows uh so maybe we'll get so now we're just quarantining simpsons references quarantine is a good word until laser time the regular show has just very normal discussions with no divergences obviously this is a bit of proof of concepty um we have a structure we have we have a lot of stuff planned we have a lot of clips from this show one of the things we wanted to do this episode uh is focusing on the first season a first episode of the simpsons that ever aired and that is called what simpsons roasting on an open fire that's right even though it says it is technically

a christmas special and it's technically the eighth episode something like that yeah it was just the only one ready to air in time because the first one went to shit. Yes, it did. But we will get into that when we talk about that episode. Simpsons Wrestling in an Open Fire.

It debuted December 17th, 1989. And because we wanted to give you a little bit of perspective, a little bit of context for when the show is airing, we have something we call This Week in Simpsons.

Oh my God! Aha! So, This Week in Simpsons. Oh my God! Aha! So, This Week in Simpsons History. That's right. See where I'm going with this? This Week in Simpsons History, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation sits atop the box office. TV is ruled by the Golden Girls, the Cosby Show,

and at number one with 23 million viewers, Roseanne. 23 million viewers. And to put this in more of a cultural context, this week MTV announced it will no longer run music videos 24-7 and focus on original programming and series. Whoa. And I love that's been pointed out better in other places, but the complaint that MTV doesn't play music videos anymore is old enough to buy booze. I didn't realize there was a formal announcement. I thought just the real world started playing and we were all just like, okay.

No, it's just we were too young to care. We were too young to care. Well, we didn't have the internet to tell us media news all the time. This is like probably just from a trade paper and the rest of America was not obsessed with it. I was not reading Variety at age nine so or age seven rather so uh should we like slay the groundwork for like um contextualize what the

simpsons were in this time for america i just looking at roseanne being number one should let everyone know like yeah where things were going yeah and the cosby show is up there but i believe when i'm looking at the ratings i I looked at the ratings for next week, Cheers had to be in a rerun because that show was huge. Usually by the second half of December, everything's in a rerun and they're getting out of the way of the Christmas specials. So like this episode, which is a Christmas special. The title card says Christmas special.

It does not say Simpsons Roasting on an open fire. I think it was submitted to the Emmys says Christmas special. It does not say Simpsons roasting on an open fire. And I think it was submitted to the Emmys as a special. Is that a way to get two Emmys? Maybe. Okay. Well, so to this point, the Simpsons were a recurring bit on the Tracy Ullman show, one of the first original programming on the Fox network, which was really just, it wasn't even a network. It was like they just took over UHF channels, and from 8 to 10,

they had original programming on them, like Married with Children, Tracy Ullman, and shows no one remembers. And did you endure Tracy Ullman episodes as a child? I absolutely did. Ready for those little nuggets of Simpsons? I absolutely, absolutely did not. Because to see the, once I saw like literally 30 seconds of yellow people hitting each other and farting or belching, like I just had to keep watching. So I'd see Tracy Ullman sing a very old variety show song or see her playing a 13 yearold girl being raised by two gay men.

Like, I'd see all those things just to watch it. But then the thought of seeing, like, I'd see it in scant bits. But then the thought of seeing a whole show that's only The Simpsons. I never saw this. I did not see the Ullman stuff until, well, probably the 138th episode of Spectacular. And then I remember Comedy Central ran an ad like, New Year in Comedy Central! I don't remember what year.

Come into Comedy Central, and it's showing The Simpsons. And I'm like flipping tables over. Holy shit, The Simpsons is coming to Comedy Central. This is great. Why does it look weird? Why does this look so old? And it was the Tracy Ullman show. There are two great sketches in that show.

It's pretty terrible. I did not like it. It's not for me. It's for my mom. Well, and the Simpsons, as primitive as these episodes for a season look, the shorts are incredibly simple. It's the weird gradient stuff. There's no hard colors. Well, and their character faces just shift all the time.

Yeah, there's really not a model they're sticking to. Cas Lanetta's going full Matau with his impression. There's a little bit of Jackie Gleason in there. I noticed, too, like today, just like the sing-songy nature of his voice. Hey, frosty chocolate milkshakes. That's like sub-Season Zero. Yes. That's like Dan Castaneda's night dreams.

Here's something interesting before we get into a long-form discussion of the episode that Henry sent me. Some beautiful person via YouTube has submitted all of the commercials from the original airing. And I taped this. I'd never heard of The Simpsons. I saw a commercial. I'm like, that looks cool and intriguing. It clearly struck me as something that was a little more adult just via the commercials. So I taped it. And when you sent me this, it brought back flashbacks like crazy. Struck me as something that was a little more adult, just via the commercials. So I taped it.

And when you sent me this, it brought back flashbacks like crazy. It triggered things I thought were long dead. I haven't thought about apple Cinnamon Cheerios in years, but I remember that creepy-ass kid in the commercial. Because I watched this tape over and over again, so I saw all of this stuff, like this promo, to give you even more context for what was going on right now. Cheerios! Apple Cinnamon Cheerios!

No wonder Al Bundy's life is so miserable. Look who he's got for a guardian angel. Loser! Sam Kinison and a one-hour Married with Children tonight. What a simple ad. What a simple ad. I wrote about this

when we were talking on LasertimePodcast.com. We were talking about The Simpsons' 25th anniversary. I loved the special. There was no internet. I wasn't... I was eight. I'm not reading trades. I had no special. There was no internet. I wasn't, I was eight.

I'm not reading trades. I had no idea we were getting more of this. So in my territory, they reran the show. I loved it. It was, I don't want to go too much in that article. Two things.

I'd never seen a character that was like me on a show. I was a problem child. I got better grades than Bart, but getting into, when I got, I remember my whole childhood, I thought adults hated me. And every time I met a new adult, they would just automatically hate me because of who I was. Because I wasn't looking at my behavior.

It was depressing. And then I saw Bart accidentally get into trouble and create hell for the people around him. And it made me recognize my behavior. Two, it was the first thing I laughed at as much as my dad did but in different parts. And also as a context of time, I didn't once again, I did not know there was another

show coming. And on the second airing that they did in my territory, this was the commercial that played. Hi gang, this is Bart Simpson. Now that I am a huge star. Now that we're all huge stars, the Simpsons are getting their own series premiering Sunday, January 14th on Fox. Hi.

Oh, my God. I'm so glad you found that. I was going to say, I remember seeing that commercial, too. I lost it. I was like, there will be more of these all the time? I was so excited. I was seven. How old were I?

I was seven when this happened. I was also seven, yeah. I guess you were nine. I was probably excited. I was like, how old were I? I was seven when this happened. I was also seven, yeah. I guess you were nine. I was probably nine, yeah. I don't know how we heard about this, but it was on the cover of my weekly newspaper TV insert. The weekly TV guide. Sure. There was The Simpsons on there.

I'm like, what is this? This is cool. My family and I watched this together. During Christmas, everyone who came over to visit was talking about the special yeah like did you see that special like people had recorded it was overnight it was like it did feel like an overnight success yeah i think a lot of i've got so many of my anecdotes and watching and doing this show it's like i can remember so vividly talking about this in the recess yard the next day yeah this i think we'll probably say that's a lot on the show at least i, that watching these again and fully taking it in, I'm getting flashes of my childhood or where I was when I saw the show.

And yeah, it really was something else to see it December 17th. But okay, so we should do what this episode was. Yeah, what the episode is about. A brief summation of the episode. What do you think, B.I.B.? Well, I'm sure this is the one everyone has seen the most, I'm guessing. At least people our age have probably seen it the most.

This won't surprise anybody who knows us, but it's going to Patreon donators. I had a Christmas special website, a cartoonchristmas.com where we reviewed over a hundred Christmas special website, a cartoonchristmas.com, where we reviewed over 100 Christmas specials. Due to having no competition, I'm probably a Christmas special expert. This holds up absurdly well as a Christmas special. It feels more modern and traditional than, I think there's like christmas specials maybe that can say that i think

uh uh prep and landing really good and community ever since then are the only things i'd call modern classic christmas specials everything else is garbage is shit i think the reason it holds up is something the simpsons backed away from and that's the worry about money like realistic money problems which that was also a thing on roseanne like getting their power shut off because they couldn't pay a bill. There are no TV characters or TV families that worry about paying bills anymore. This is true. They all live in a giant house. And The Simpsons kind of live in a giant house.

They do live in a huge house. I mean, their house is still like three bedrooms and three bathrooms. And the unseen rumpus room. I can't wait until we get to the episodes. It phases in and out of existence. But yeah, losing $200 can ruin The Simpsons. And that's what happens in the episode. I'm one of those guys.

So what happens in the episode, it's a really simple plot. Homer does not get his company bonus because the power plant has to increase safety regulations so everyone else but management gets screwed, which is a thing we've all been through, I think, as working stiffs. And so Homer becomes a mall Santa and then even loses at that. So by the end of the episode, they end up winning a dog at the track by losing all of their money. Yeah, by losing. That is the most traditional Christmas beat there is.

And I think people might miss out on it when they're like, it's so dark. I'm like, but it gets really Christmassy at the end. It gets really Christmassy. I mean, they're all singing around the piano oh my god that's right there's yeah yeah a lot of rules the simpsons hadn't defined for itself the biggest one i noticed in this every scene is transitioned with a dissolve there is a weird like there are no more dissolves on the simpsons well and then i mean there's no there's no opening to it like there's no opening thing like. There's no opening thing. So by the next episode, when you see the theme song and the couch gag and the board, you don't get any of that in this. It is absent of the theme song.

And this has to introduce so many things. We could fill this whole episode of just saying, well, this was the first this. Before I knew about the production order. Yeah. It was a marvel to watch this like 20 years ago before I knew it was the seventh in production order. How many characters it seemed to have refined and in place and introducing. Just by getting that far. Also, the credited writer on this is Mindy Pond, who never wrote another episode. I don't know how much of that was her and how much of it was the writing room. But it could have been like a freelance script that they got for the Christmas special or something. I don't know how much of that was her and how much of it was the writing room. Yeah. But it could have been like a freelance script that they got for the Christmas special or something. I don't know.

See, apparently all I could know, all I found out about her in a wiki search is that she is a professional cartoonist. Huh. So I'm wondering if she had a Matt Groening connection and just she came in from the cartooning world. And she's written for other things too. But yeah, they just, you go straight uh the talent show and that just it was such a um where you where i always thought it was a little unnerving you feel like you see lisa's vagina no i for the longest time she was bottomless in that me too i think that's the first real joke of the episode too you have to wait like a minute until there's a real joke it is so long it's very

very well no like when also simpler times yeah immediately maggie's star outfit became iconic i mean i guess that counts as a joke it did count as a joke it was something we all like i don't know we all connected with i remember people talking about it i remember being on merchandise and her sucking her pacifier so loud yeah that was not something a character would do i think of it like uh rick burping on rick and morty just like this affectation that a character does not have, but they gave it to him. And yeah, apparently, like, because of when it aired, it's the first

appearance of Moe, Barney, Patty, Selma, Grandpa, Ned, and Todd Flanders, Milhouse, Lewis, Senior Skinner, Sherry and Terry, Wendell, Mr. Burns, Ralph Wiggum, Santa's Little Helper, and Snowball 2 and Waylon Smithers. They also have, like, an abandoned version of Skinner,

like a character trait they didn't carry over past season 3, where he would get words wrong. Well, there's a ton of... This is full of abandoned jokes like that. But yeah, there's children in their medley of... Oh, that's right. He says flavorites, I think. It's like that was Skinner's...

One of his jokes about him that they didn't really do. I did the best research I could, and the biggest first for me, and I did as much research, this is the first primetime cartoon, I mean, in a while, period. Yeah, for sure.

This might be the first primetime cartoon ever to curse. Dad, I didn't know it was you. Nobody knows. It's a secret. I didn't get my bonus this year, but to keep the family from missing out on Christmas, I'd do anything.

I'll say, Dad. You must really love us to sink so low. Let's not get mushy, son. I still have a job to do. Hey, little one! Santa's back! Ho! Ho! No! I freaked out when I heard him say my jaw hit the floor. Hey, little one, Santa's back. Ho, ho, yo! Damn it!

I freaked out when I heard him say damn it. My jaw hit the floor. And I'm like, I'm allowed to watch this! My parents are right behind me! Yeah. That and cartoon characters smoking in the background in this show, there's just a touch of extra sleaziness that you didn't see anywhere else. Well, I think that's one of the many things that dates the show. I can't believe elements that still exist in the show show people smoking indoors uh we'll get into those when

we but when bart okay well going chronologically to when bart sings i'd never heard batman the batmobile version never before like i and and they talk on the commentaries that they take pride in they popularize that with children they It was a kid's song. That version of Jingle Bells was something they'd heard. The writers had heard. And now they introduced it to a whole new generation

of children by showing it there. They took a bit of pride. Like, had you ever heard it before? No, never. I did the summer before, so when I saw it on TV,

I'm like, how did they know this? You fucking hipster. Yeah, old. With all the kid memes, I was first. Put a post-it note underneath the television representing the first comment. Well, and the same with the ending song, too. Like, I never heard that Rudolph song.

I didn't hear that one, no. Though, it was funny. Two years later, I transferred schools and went to a new school. And they had a Christmas event, a christmas tradition that one of the teachers would sing a parody version of rudolph and all the kids would sing along and it was one of these first times i'd ever as a kid felt the anxiety of everybody in the room knows what the rules are except for me and i have to fit in and they're singing a song that turns out to be like 70 the simpsons song but she made variations

on it and when I miss those variations by singing The Simpsons version, like people I felt like the worst person in the world I was like, I'm terrible, sing wrong, but anyway but yeah, here's one of the biggest takeaways for me, this is what it's so weird watching this because I watched it so

many times, but obviously Bart was my surrogate and not Homer. Homer is now, I think I'm as old as Homer, almost. I think he's 42 now. He was 38 for a while. They made him 38. I'm only going by on the arcade machine. The arcade machine, he says it's like 38 or 36.

Okay. But I was Bart's age, like his actual age when the show aired. And now I am actually Homer's age. It's really interesting to think about. This is a lot of fun. But also kudos to The Simpsons. So this to me was the funniest joke and it will also give you a little insight on the plot of the entire episode. Funniest thing I ever saw.

It's very, very Life in Hell. Quit it. Ow! Quit it. Funniest thing I ever saw. Ow! Quit it. Ow! It's very, very life and health. Ow! Quit it. It used to be a real boss tattoo. But Mom had to spend all the Christmas money having it surgically removed. It's true! The jar is empty!

Oh, my God! We're ruined. Christmas is cancelled. No presents for anyone! Don't worry, Homer. So, another dated thing I noticed there, very lightly, there's a couple things in this episode, sound foley work. So, like, I think the hallmark of the first season is hearing footsteps.

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Back in 1989, when a boy was watching TV on his own, the sound effect emitting from the TV that you didn't see was neighing horses to imply a Western. But it'd be machine guns too. Yeah, wow. But there's literally nothing on program on the TV that Bart, like a kid, would be watching making those sounds nowadays. At all. The bit as a kid too,

that was a revelation to me that your parents had to pay for Christmas and that there was this thing called they could run out of money and not have enough. I sound like a very spoiled child saying these things, but as a 7-year-old, like I didn't know you could run out of money and not have enough for presents. Like, yeah. It was pretty like – I don't know.

It feels – when I was watching it again, I was like this was an animated cartoon special, Christmas special, that immediately it's like there's no Santa Claus. Here's how the Santa Claus things work. I was smart enough to know that. And they're fake and they're cynical, too. Yeah, it's like they get paid crap. When do we get paid? And Barney's like a drunk.

Nice! And then Bart is super cynical, too. And one of his first lines is, there's only one fat guy who's going to give us stuff and it ain't Santa. Yes. That's a dark... Bart's mostly a joke machine

until halfway through. But he's definitely treated as a B character on the show. This is our proof of concept episode but just so you know, towards the end of the episode we will deliberate on our line of the show. What I thought would be my line of the show

I captured so I sort of get to dictate. I thought it would be my line of the show, I captured, so I sort of get to dictate. I thought it would be my line of the show. This made me laugh a lot, and for some reason, it still does. It was going to go to Todd Flanders. Ow! Oh, Simpson, it's you. Hello, Flanders.

Oh, my. What a little mess we've got here. Well, which ones are yours and which ones are mine? Well, let's see. Oh, this one's mine, and this's see. Oh, this one's mine. And this one's mine. This one's mine. And they're all yours.

Hey, Mr. Simpson, you dropped your pork chop. I don't know why. That still makes me laugh a lot because it's Todd. It seems like Flanders is less a goody-goody here. Oh, yeah. But more actually mocking him. Ooh, this one's mine. And Todd is.

Mr. Simpson, you dropped your pork chop. Squeak, sque squeak it's more of like a yuppie-ish character yes there was no jesus in his life yeah he was he was a godless person that's for sure yeah and that flanders flanders may as well have been anybody you know like he didn't flanders they weren't setting up to be one of the major characters of the entire series and as they said on the commentaries he was

designed by Rich Moore who was the designer who on this episode was just the main board artist who would later in the next season

he would be one of their main directors he would be the supervising director on The Critic and Futurama and the director of Wreck-It Ralph

and the director of Wreck-It Ralph I got to interview him did you? yep I got to go director of Wreck-It Ralph. And the director of Wreck-It Ralph. I got to interview him. Did you? Yep. Oh, that's right. I got to go to the Wreck-It Ralph premiere and interview him.

And he was a really nice guy. And at the end, I tried to be as professional as possible. I was just like, yeah, Wreck-It Ralph, blah, blah, blah, question, question, question. And then in the end, I was like,

I'm the biggest Simpsons fan in the world. I wish I had brought the Simpsons season four thing would be like Marge versus the Monorills. Well, if you look at one of the nerds in the show, they colored him black for the Homer versus College episode. The guy with the buck teeth and glasses is a caricature of Richard Moore. He's not black, though. Yes. As long as we're talking about animators, I wanted to say this other thing I found out from the commentary is that it's a general trivia bit. People know that the former frontman of No Doubt slash brother of Gwen Stefani, Eric Stefani, is a cartoonist and artist.

And he was the animator for the show. He left the band to focus on The Simpsons. Yeah, though he apparently still gets a cut. They later said that when he was working there, they're like, could you draw this thing? He was getting like gold records and all this. But he laid out the first Patty and Selma scene. The scene in the episode, like in the commentary is David Silverman, the director of the episode, calls out, Eric Stefani directed this. And he was like just a couple of years away from his band being the biggest thing

in the world man um and yeah that was i don't want to segue into my are we are we almost done yeah keep going uh this okay so guys just so you know we're shooting for kind of a half an hour but obviously we're going to go longer in our first episode it's not a classic line it makes it's what this line makes me think of it's when bar gets the tattoo and the guy is like, are you over 21? And he says, yes, sir. And he gets pulled into the store. Getting a chair. Yeah, exactly. Whenever I click on an age gate, I immediately think of that scene every time.

So every time I do that, which is probably like once a day, I think of the scene because it's that much of like a worthless gateway. Like, yeah, whatever, go over. I meant to get one of the most important hallmarks of the Simpsonsons i mean the era that we all really care about is the original music and when marge sees his tattoo there is a sound cue there that is from like my stock sound effect in a barbara library uh it's something you've never heard in the simpsons again after that it's always their own music it is a stock sound so it's it's funny you bring up that thing because they mentioned it on the commentary that it also is a hallmark of a thing that in Simpsons writing where

they said, well, they were working for so long, well, how's he going to get the tattoo? The guy's not just going to give him the tattoo. How's he, like, working, working, working, and he said, like, oh, look, he just does it. Like, he just says, okay, I'll do it. Boom. Done. It's a cartoon. Relax. Well, one of my'll do it. Boom. Done. It's a cartoon.

Relax. Well, one of my favorite – I have two favorite lines. One that made me laugh now when hearing Milhouse say, quote, unquote, Santa. I feel like that was the first time I'd ever heard ironic quotation marks on something, which is something I do all the time. I do all the time. And then second, the big one for me that I still remember is because it became a running joke in our family. My dad likes the racetracks.

He likes racetracks. Likes the ponies, likes the puppies. Well, he likes gambling on dogs. It's just not as cool as betting on horses. In some areas of Florida, you don't have the option, Henry. Well, we had a dog track actually in our town, and so it was a joke where if we'd go to the dog track in the month of

December, which we did a few years, as a family, mom would do the joke of my mom would just say, you know the tradition, son, not until the eighth race. Really? I would feed her the line of, like, can we open our presents now? And then she'd say, not until the eighth race. Really? I would feed her the line of like, can we open our presents now? And then she'd say,

not until the eighth race. Encourage or reinforce you quoting the Simpsons. Exactly. From the beginning. We all loved it. We all, the whole family loved it. And that's,

yeah, that's the big takeaway for the show. It was something the whole family loved. I mean, if we drive by, I have a bet now, I go home for Christmas and we drive by the, the dog track.

Like there, we will say not until the eighth race. And it was one of those things of us joking about, The Simpsons let us laugh at our own dysfunction. That's what we really liked about it. I think until season five I watched it with my family whenever it was on, the weekly episodes, for sure. We were still a one tv household which i know

seems insane to me too but that's that's what we had to deal with somebody got to pick what to watch and everybody else suffered through it and this is the one show that didn't feel like a slog for everyone also i thought it was a fun meta reference that bart i i don't feel like i'd ever seen a cartoon character talk about other cartoon characters and say, if Christmas specials have taught me anything, you should believe a miracle will happen. That was the first meta-reflexive pop culture awareness joke I'd ever seen. And one of the contenders for Line of the Day originally was, for the line of the show, was going to go to a follow-up to that. Let's see if I have it.

I'm sorry. I use that voice sound so many times. But I guess TV has betrayed me. I don't want to leave until our dog finishes. Ah, forget it. let's go and then it's homer that screws them by believing in miracles more than more than yeah even 99 to 13 is merry christmas it is great how i mean the simpsons was really a reaction to what was

on tv at the time sure like this episode is all about no no, TV's lying to you. There are no miracles. The only thing that brings these people together and the dog is that they all, they are huge losers. And I've said this elsewhere. It's like, you know, even the president called out there, we're more like the Waltons and less like the Simpsons. But the Simpsons, yes, dysfunctional, but they were more representative to me. My family, I'm the messed up one. My family's great. They're all really sweet.

But this is still more representative to them than like the Tanners of Full House or anything like that. To me, my family, I'm the messed up one. My family's great. They're all really sweet. But this is still more representative of them than, like, the tanners of Full House or anything like that. We don't talk. This is how we spoke to one another. It was an accurate. This and Roseanne were the only accurate depictions I thought of families on TV. And it was derided by moral crusaders. Yeah, that.

Oh, jeez. I feel like I heard that heard that like eight other times throughout this first ten years. It's like the Barney burp. They'd like grab it once and then like, okay, so we're kind of jumping all over the place. But I have one more line that I remember. And it's something that I just made out as an actual line this time. It's one of Grandpa Simpson's few lines. Unadulterated path. Unadulterated path.

I guess I didn't know what unadulterated meant before, outside of milk or orange juice or something. It's not like Grandpa now to be that lucid. But I did love that line. He just screams it. And that was such... In all the episodes we watch for this batch, it's happy little elves. They were a huge part of the show

because it was representative of the Smurfs. At the time, the biggest thing that children were watching, elves they were a huge part of the show because it was representative of the smurfs yeah at the time the biggest thing that children were watching and i don't like that's why you don't see them watching happy little elf you know they still watch a fucking clown show that introduces cartoons well do you want to do you want to talk about all the stuff that got cut or the things that are like yeah we should talk about behind the scenes stuff like that yeah well not canonical things as first off like they they are breaking rules all over the place. One of them definitely is nobody has Homer's 5 o'clock shadow.

Nobody else has yellow hair going all the way to the top of their head. And what happened to Daria? Daria. Thank you. Originally, this was supposed to be Laser Time's closeout because the way I heard the line was, Let's roll diarrhea. And I brought that up to you guys.

I said it on the show one time. I'm like, what does that mean? I'm like, it's a Simpsons reference. It's like the episode we've all seen a thousand times. He doesn't say that. Every one of my friends thought he said diarrhea, and that's why we thought the line was so funny. And I captured it,

and we're going to decide on the air whether this sounds like it. I've heard this before, and I was listening for it when I watched. Hey, Sopton! What did I tell you? Well, one. Let's go, Daria. I heard Daria. If you want...

Let's go, Daria. Let's go, Daria. Let's go, Daria. Daria. If you want to hear Daria, I think you can hear it. He slurs it enough, but I heard Daria. If he were to be saying, let's go, Daria, what does that even mean within the context of the scene? I thought it was funny that Barney Gumbel had a prostitute in his car named Diarrhea.

I thought that was the joke. It's like a family guy joke. But I also had never heard the word diarrhea before until Beavis and Butthead. Seriously, I hadn't. I'd never heard that name. No, I'd – well, here's a couple other notes I made of things that they don't do anymore. Like, Lisa and her pony and her desire for ponies. Yeah.

Well, she got her wish. I think, yeah, once that episode happened, that killed the Lisa wanting a pony. Yeah, she got her own Twilight Zone episode where she got exactly what she wanted. It turns out it wasn't all it was corrective. I think, like, every three years, though, they remember she likes ponies and they give her like a pony scene that's like Bart's lucky red cat oh yeah

the cap that shows up there were a couple other ones oh yeah Homer it actually this was a sign of things

to come Homer falling off the roof like that's a joke they do now except he'd have like it had been way more painful

well that's my argument against like you know Homer society fuckheads who want to trash every invincible Homer like he fell off a roof in the first episode very first episode Well, that's my argument against, like, you know Homer Society fuckheads who want to trash every Invincible Homer. Like, he fell off a roof in the first episode. The very first episode he falls off a roof.

And didn't get hurt. But he did fall. It is like a snowbank. It was a snowbank. I don't know how snow works. I'm from Florida. I wonder if that was their cover. Like, it'd be funny if he fell off the roof.

No, that wouldn't work. All right, well, there was a snowbank. And a couple other things. One, they said that the... Barney has no pigment in his hair. It's the same color as his skin. Yeah, and that also the... This was from the commentaries.

One of the craziest things, like just from listening to the commentaries later, you know how hard animation production is for TV. But this was the first cartoon that James L. Brooks would work on. And James L. Brooks, who's on the commentary, says that him and Richard Sakai said, let's shoot coverage for animation

as in let's animate more than we need so we can edit around it like that is such an uninformed way of doing it. If people don't know what coverage is it's like you shoot a scene from multiple angles you cut them together so if there's a scene when Homer and Marge talking you'd shoot all of Homer talking and then all of Marge talking

and then cut them together rather than figuring out where the cuts would be on a storyboard or whatever. Yeah, that's how you do it. You find the cuts in the storyboard. You don't spend a million dollars animating it. You film Al Pacino from every angle and you try and get as many takes where he's not spitting. Or where he doesn't look like a lost old man.

Right here! His last appearance on Letterman, he looks so confused and old he's like i think he talks about his kids who like 12 or something i'm like man fuck you it's like larry larry king's yeah kids future simpsons guests uh yeah i think that's all the that's all the things i thought were like oh this is so they wouldn't do this now or they wouldn't do this now flanders would have been nicer to homer and also the opening bit where Homer's walking by people like, hey, friend, what are you doing here?

Like, he's just saying names. Like, they're just random names. Martin's friends. I was going to point out that it's the only time. Well, no, this first season. Bart being friends with Lewis. Yeah. It's known to be established that he had any friend other than Milhouse.

But as the show wore on, Bart has one friend and it's Milhouse. He had Martin and Lewis. Yeah. We only saw Lewis in this one. The thing about Flanders is right though like the joke today would be Flanders

would be really nice and Homer would just be a dick because he was being nice but in that scene he wasn't being nice. No. He was kind of

highlighting how poor Homer was and you know. Well then Homer isn't it's in the ones we've watched for this batch of recordings in general Homer the no Homer's the haters on Homer on current system,

the haters of current seasons hate jerk-ass Homer, who is the Homer who says, out of my way, jerk-ass, who is just basically a comedic sociopath. But you also, I don't think... But this Homer is not that guy at all. He's the most thoughtful version of this character. He's the family savior at all times.

Yeah, that he cares. He's stupid, and he can sometimes react poorly to situations, but he has a good heart. And that goodness slowly, slowly melts away to make him a better idiot joke machine, which I'm not saying is bad. But it's weird to see Homer starting from, like, 10 miles an hour to now see him at just constant. Well, I think we saw him go to like 120 miles an hour. Now he's back to like 90. Yeah, I can say that like I was recently watching random DVDs. I put on season 12 and I've watched like half of it so far.

In that season, he is just Peter Griffin, like period. So going back to these, it's such a huge change. That's probably when he was at his worst, that era of the show. Yes, yep. Because they didn't care. I thought they cared the least about characterization which oppositely in this one they care so much about it and the reality of it like though then again there's also the disreality of marge keeping the jar on her head all year long and that's how she hides the christmas money like that's pretty crazy. No crazier than Homer fighting a giant spider to sneak out of the Springfield power plant.

This is also, they do a take to camera at the end. Don't they say Merry Christmas? I think they're kind of looking at each other. Isn't the last thing like a snapshot that's taken? Yes. Yeah, that's right. And then they sing for the nice people. By the way, this

commentary is just to show you how old this is. The commentaries were recorded before 9-11 because the DVDs came out on September 25th, 2001. Still one of the best DVD sets ever made. So they recorded before 9-11

and they were in production on seasons 13 and 14 when they recorded the commentaries. That's how long ago it was. Well, do we want to do line of the show? Yeah. I mean, are we voting? No, because I'm going to give it to a character. Since I grabbed these, Bob, it's my right, my birthright.

I wanted to give it to Aunt Patty. Aunt Patty has numerous lines that have always cracked me up, some that still remain timelessly funny. One, there's one in here that's just, I don't know, it's always cracked me up. This is how she's introduced. This is her introduction to us. Hello, ma.

Yeah, hello. Marge, please. Who's this? May I please speak to Marge? This is her sister, isn't it? Is Marge, please. Who's this? May I please speak to Marge? This is her sister, isn't it? Is Marge there? Who shall I say is calling? Marge, please. It's your sister. No!

There's that. I think that's a great exchange. Yeah. It's a great way to interest the character. And it works good for a podcast because it's all audio. Yes. I liked early on you seeing the Simpsons exploring audio-only jokes instead of getting you visually with the jokes.

Yeah, and I think that's... I don't know. I've always said that to you guys who hate on newer episodes of the Simpsons. And they're not the same to me, but one of the things is I think they couldn't afford to animate certain things, so a lot of things would happen off-screen. Or there would be sound based, whereas now they show everything, and they dwell on it for a really long time

that bothers me. Well you can hear on the comment this is something Bob you wrote a whole article about that a long time ago but on the commentaries Matt you can hear Matt wincing like that guy's off model oh that's so ugly but they became so interested in being on model

it stamped out a lot of the creativity. Yeah I think there was a lot of the creativity yeah i think there was a lot of animation rules they broke not knowing how to animate anything that ended up becoming staples we find uh synonymous with the series i'm not even done with my patty clips oh please please continue uh this this cracked me up as a kid still cracks me up now i'm not sure it's the greatest joke in the world uh homer can't even afford a christmas tree he has to go chop one down yeah and steal one gets hounds released and shots fired at him

brings it home so what do you think kids beauty isn't it why is there a bird house in it that's an ornament I don't know why I'm sorry I love that one I think two of the episodes we watched for this recording session

Homer or the family were chased away with guns. Yeah. The gunfires. Guns were both shot off. On the commentary, they also said they were concerned, like, Homer steals a tree. Is that too far? Is he unlikable?

They didn't know. We never had the discussion again. Yeah. And this is probably a better scene for Lisa, but Patty's great in it. It's a great scene in general, but it's the first show for us. We don't know that it's the 7-1-1 airing order, but it's such a huge piece of Lisa's personality. Yeah. Great introduction.

I love the delivery and everything. Unadulterated pep. Yeah. It's almost 9 o'clock. Where is Homer anyway? It's so typical of the big doofus to spoil at home. What, Aunt Patty? Oh, nothing, dear.

I'm just trashing your father. Well, I wish you wouldn't, because aside from the fact that he has the same frailties as all human beings, he's the only father I have. Therefore, he is my model of manhood, and my estimation of him will govern the prospects of my adult relationships. So I hope you bear in mind that any knock at him

is a knock at me, and I am far too young to defend myself against such onslaughts. Go watch your cartoon show, dear. And that is why Patty wins a line of the show. That's the joke.

Yeah. I love it. I love that. I'll give it to Patty. I like those flashes of Lisa. Lisa and Bart may as well. They were both just troublemakers usually, but in the first season. So until moaning Lisa, I would suppose.

Watching these early episodes, you always feel like The Simpsons got big. But they started big with a lot of different characters and personality types. And a lot of it is on display in this very first episode. That's all I've got to say. There's only a few episodes in season one that feel outright wrong. This is not one of them. Maybe two or three just feel like a different show, like the wrong show. But this feels very, very much like, despite the few disc discrepancies i wasn't bored or anything but i was surprised

yeah there's a lot more pregnant pauses than you'd get on any even a season three episode of the simpsons but they weren't they weren't in they weren't up to speed yet of packing in jokes or references to films or whatever like i actually don't think there's any i mean i guess the happy little elves count but there's no direct reference to well this is inspired this angle is inspired from this film we this is a tribute to this thing and yeah i i think it holds up pretty well too but i also can't it it would be impossible for me to watch this objectively like it is just a cornerstone like Like, childhood began. Or my adult, whatever.

My life began when I watched this. I remember nothing before this episode aired. And then it's all memories. The 80s are nothing. I was playing Super Mario Brothers. That was it. And then once the 80s were over and the 90s began after this episode, all Simpsons.

Yeah. For better or worse, taught me about my life and how to live it. Oh my god. These commercials are so 90s in the middle. Jesus. Anyway, yes. Is that it?

Are we wrapped? I think we're good. That's our first episode so please keep Yeah, we want to plug stuff but this is a Patreon exclusive. Yeah, that's right. So thank you, patrons.

And if you don't know how this works we want to do this as a regular show but we want to start distributing to everybody with the second season. But it needs to unlock first. Patreon donators will get the first season at a $5 reward minimum at patreon.com slash lasertime, I think is the URL. We're recording this in advance in case it's not obvious.

But we can't embark on another program just yet until we can get everybody paid. And that's what we're, but we're, you know, new content for you. How is it? Maybe you should try another one. We were trying to say,

like, I really wanted it. Like, let's try and stick to 30 minutes. We shouldn't have a Simpson show. That's longer than the Simpson show. But this one, we had to cover totally.

We had to cover the history of entertainment before the Simpson started. So yeah, I think we'll be faster next time. Cut to 90-minute episodes. Who knows? One day I probably won't have later time content. This will just go up as a regular episode.

Yeah, and this will just be the longest... Boy, what will we be like by the 26th season of this? I don't want to think about that. Will we be as crappy as The Simpsons are now? I'll be spinning in my grave as Chris Hardwick just starts it for nopsons are now? I'll be spinning in my grave as Chris Hardwick just starts it for no reason.

That's where we'll be. But anyway, that is it for us. You want to take us out, Bobby? Any plugs? Yeah, as always, I do stuff for usgamer.net and Retronauts,

my class gaming podcast, so check me out on those things and you can follow me on Twitter as Bob Servo. How about you guys? If you don't know, I'm H-E-N-E-R-E-Y-G on twitter by now

and I don't know what to tell you but yeah hey listen to Kate Price's too I got nothing thanks guys I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm