Tangle - My son gives me hope.

Episode Date: September 13, 2025

Having a baby restored my faith in humanity. Today’s edition is a personal essay from our founder, Isaac Saul.You can subscribe to Tangle by clicking here or drop something in our tip jar by clicking here. Our Executive Editor and Founder is Isaac Saul. Our Executive Producer is Jon Lall.This podcast was hosted by Isaac Saul and edited and engineered by Dewey Thomas. Music for the podcast was produced by Diet 75 and Jon Lall. Our newsletter is edited by Managing Editor Ari Weitzman, Senior Editor Will Kaback, Lindsey Knuth, Kendall White, Bailey Saul, and Audrey Moorehead.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Not a billionaire, not a problem. You can still do something legendary by leaving a gift to charity in your will. Even 1% in your will can change the game for a cause you care about without taking away what you or your family need. It's a powerful way to make your mark. Anyone can leave a legacy. Willpower shows you how. Learn more at willpower.ca.

When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous, without the grainy mustard. When the barbecues lit, but there's nothing to grill, when the in-laws decide that actually they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer, so download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders.

Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Swiped is a new movie inspired by the provocative real-life story of the visionary founder of online dating platform Bumble. Played by Lily James, Swiped introduces recent college grad Whitney Wolf as she uses extraordinary grit and ingenuity to break into the male-dominated tech industry, paving her way to becoming the youngest female self-made billionaire. An official selection of the Toronto International Film Festival, the Hulu original film Swiped starts streaming September 19th, only on Disney Plus. Executive producer, Isaac Saul. This is Tangle.

Good morning, good afternoon and good evening, and welcome to the Tangle podcast, a place we get views from across the political spectrum, some independent thinking, and a little bit of my take. I'm your host, Isaac Saul, and it has been a dark week. I mean, I literally broke down on this podcast yesterday just talking about the accumulation of all the horrors in the world that we're all just, you know, mainlining these days. I mean, we're all taking in so much of. So today's show is something I wrote that is not about that. It's about the goodness of the world. And I'm excited to share it because I think.

the timing's right. I waffled. I mean, there was a, there's a moment yesterday where I thought maybe sharing this piece wasn't right today, and then I realized it's actually the perfect thing for today. So, um, here it is. Before my wife and I had our son in January, I was bracing myself. Almost everything I had heard from the centers of media and pop culture, about parenting in America was dire. Your kids aren't welcome here, the stories told me. Children are going to ruin your life. These perspectives ran the gamut,

and they came from across the political spectrum, from mainstream legacy media, from politicians, and from influencers and artists. Vice President J.D. Vance told the New York Times that America was, quote, pathologically anti-child. Business insider blared headlines like, why America hates its children. The Washington Times blamed anti-kid culture

for why so few people are choosing to have children. Evie Magazine asked, when did America become so hostile to children? CNN published an entire feature on why people seem so annoyed with kids. In Salon Magazine, Kelly Lawler wrote that, quote, any parent who walks through American society with tiny humans in tow can tell you

that children are simply not welcome in public here, end quote. I was told life in America is, hard for kids and that it's even worse for parents. On the call, her daddy podcast, singer Chappelle Rohn said, everyone she knows with kids is in hell. The New York Times is currently serving its readers to share the, quote, challenges that would be unimaginable, end quote, to previous generations of parents. NPR has a guide for parents to consult so they can look for signs of burnout. Shoot, the U.S. Surgeon General issued warnings about parental stress as a public health issue. And then something funny happened.

My wife and I had our son, and our experience was completely different. Rather than get chewed up by this supposed anti-child American culture, I've instead found one that embraces, loves, and cares deeply for its children. From the incredible care we got at a Philadelphia hospital, just minutes from our apartment, to the strangers bursting with generosity we meet on the street, I'm left marveling at a country that had I not read any of those above articles, I would think was one of the most kid-loving places to ever exist.

Everywhere we go, my experience is the same. Whether it comes from more experienced parents or our friends who have no interest in ever having kids, we receive so much support and happiness in every direction. People hold doors. They ask my wife and me if we need a hand. They give helpful unsolicited tips, not lectures, on how to navigate whatever our current environment is.

restaurant hosts delightedly set up high chairs for our son and smile at him and play with him. Servers distract him so we can get some bites of our food in or they ask if they can bring us anything to keep him happy. An elderly stranger stops us on the street to marvel at his cuteness, asks thoughtful questions about how mom and dad are doing, and then insist we soak up these times because they go by quickly. A hundred steps later, a five-year-old tugs on our mom's hand to point out the adorable baby and they both stop to say hi. The world, I've found, is brimming with these kindnesses and good deeds. We recently went to the post office to get my son's passport.

The woman behind the counter spent an extra five minutes playing with Omri, making him laugh for pictures, and then printed out extra photos from the outtakes that we could take home for our fridge just for fun. She shared stories about her daughter and wished us well, turning what we expected to be a cumbersome slog into a delightful and memorable interaction. What about flying? I thought for certain that the dreaded airplane was the place where everyone would inevitably hate us if we brought along a fussy baby. Phoebe and I took Omri on his first flight when he was just eight weeks old.

It was a two-stop round-trip journey to get to West Texas from Philly to Atlanta to El Paso and back again. But instead of dirty looks from angry passengers, we found helpful strangers. People asked if they could carry a bag or set up a stroller. Moms checked in to see how Phoebe was holding up. He did so good, people said. us after he fussed for most of the flight. Dads congratulated me on successfully changing a diaper in the unbelievably small bathroom even after I caused a delayed takeoff and fell backwards out of the door covered in my son's feces. When I asked my wife about this phenomenon, the idea that America

was much less anti-kid than I expected it to be, she looked in me, a little surprised. Is that something people think, she asked? Perhaps the notion that Americans were anti-kid was novel because I spend way more time online than she does, but she found the idea both surprising and untrue. She also, predictably, had an insight that I didn't. She suggested that kids grease the wheels for good deeds. People want to help each other, she said, and I think having a kid breaks social discomfort. This, to me, rings true. If a stranger saw me struggling with too many suitcases, they might feel weird about going up to an able-bodied 30-something man and asking if he needs help, even if they could offer it. But when I'm carrying an infant in my arms, the calculus changes. For whatever reason,

saying hi to another human being next to you at line at a rest-stop fast food restaurant feels odd in 2025. But when they're making googly eyes and smiling at your kid, it becomes a lot easier to break the ice and introduce yourself. Even when things are undeniably difficult, I've been surprised by the way strangers are willing to help take the stress off a bit. This week, my wife had her first day of work at a new job. Naturally, Omri got sick in his first week of daycare, so I had to stay home with him all week. We had friends and grandparents step up to come help out, a kindness in and of itself, and we made it work. And in the midst of the chaos, I had to take Omri to the doctor's office as his fever and cold got worse. We are between insurances, which we didn't realize until he got

sick, and I was fearing the worst. What fresh horror would the American health care system rain down on me now that I was the worst kind of person you could be to a bureaucracy, somebody without the proper paperwork. Instead, the office had a simple form for people in my position to fill out at check-in. A kind nurse told me to just pay what I could and not stress, and $110 got my feverishly ill son the medical attention he needed. The nurse told me to call back later to backdate the charges and said the office would help me get it covered when we got our insurance sorted out.

Then she told me a cute and funny story about the first time her. son got sick, insisted my son would be stronger when it's over, and turned my nerves down a bit about how awful he looked. I actually left feeling less stressed than before. How often is that story told? Of course, I'm not naive. I have one child. He's barely ambulatory. Parenting will be harder and more complicated when he can walk, run, talk, and act out. I'm sure we'll have some negative interactions in public when he's a little more disruptive, and it'll get twice as hard when, God willing, my wife and I welcome more children to the world. Yet, by virtue of being a parent, I've also spent a lot of time with other parents and their

children, and my observations hold true for them too. I watch so many of these parents navigate our country with grace, calm, and humor. When I'm out with these friends and family members, I've seen their toddlers greeted with smiles and kindness in public places. Strangers pick up drop toys or marvel at how much they've eaten or throw themselves into entertaining a child so mom or dad can catch a break. The parents I know take their kids camping or on trips to the mountains or to their friend's houses. They include them.

They bring them along for the ride and it's okay. It works. It's not a hellscape. It is beauty and joy and fun and, yes, stress and fights and sometimes challenges. But having a spouse is stressful. Having a job is stressful. This doesn't mean these things are unrewarding. It doesn't make our country anti-exemptive.

everything that is hard. I'm not trying to say child care policy in America is perfect either, that we couldn't be doing more for our kids. I subscribe to several critical views about the state of our child care system. Our schools are underperforming. Daycare is exorbitantly expensive, and our parental leave policies are out of step with most developed nations. This is all without even getting into gun violence or the fundamental breakdown of communities or how U.S. pregnancy-related deaths are on the rise, even when we are one of the richest nations in the world. This isn't a case for having kids either. I understand and respect whatever decision people make about whether having children is right for them. But I am not worried about whether America is anti-kid or not.

Some policymakers may disagree on how to make a bright future for the next generation, but that doesn't make them anti-kid. There is a difference, too, between failures of government and failures of culture. We can attribute some blame to the government for things like lacking parental leave or the shortage of affordable daycare. But how many of the bad interactions mentioned by the authors of all the pieces I referenced in the introduction are a product of oversensitive, highly strung parents? How many of the stresses of modern day parenting are the product of an obsession over being perfect parents and the deluge of online parenting advice that tells you missing any new technique is setting your child up for failure? How much stress is due to an increasing number of young

parents wanting to live in big, expensive cities far from their own families who could otherwise support them. I know for me, a lot of the stressors and negatives of parenting are things that I bring on myself. When we describe our country as anti-kid, these questions feel relevant. I don't see and haven't experienced a cultural deficiency of love for children. Instead, I've seen and experienced an abundance of it. People young and old, strangers and friends who have kids and don't of all backgrounds and political persuasions who treasure kids and treasure my son. I don't want to take the reality I'm experiencing for granted. With so much darkness encompassing us these days, it becomes more important to state this clearly. This country is not anti-kid.

I suppose it's possible I and many of my friends and family have some uniquely blessed experience, or, alternatively, perhaps the culture of criticism creates some kind of social and financial incentive to write stories about how horrible people are, extrapolating one or two bad experiences amid hundreds of daily interactions to paint our society as broken and scornful. Maybe those stories get a lot of clicks and attention and dutifully encourage us all to focus on a very tiny fraction of negative experiences that obscure what is far more common, which is the grace and love so many people are willing to extend, even to total strangers. And maybe, just maybe, we should spend a little more time,

especially these days, writing about all the goodness out there, particularly when it's so easy to find. All right, that is it for today's podcast. As always, if you want to reach me or you have thoughts about anything you've heard on the show, you can write to me at Isaac, I-S-A-A-A-C at reattangle.com. I'll see you guys next week. Please be safe.

Spread some love this weekend. and do something kind for somebody. We are in a dehumanization era, and we can do our part to push back on it. So do something, do something this weekend. All right? I'll see you guys then. Peace.

Our executive editor and founder is me, Isaac Saul, and our executive producer is John Lull. Today's episode was edited and engineered by Dewey Thomas. Our editorial staff is led by managing editor Ari Weitzman with senior editor Will Kayback and assistant. Associate editors Hunter Casperson, Audrey Moorhead, Bailey Song, Lindsay Canuth, and Kendall White. Music for the podcast was produced by Diet 75. To learn more about Tangle and to sign up for a membership, please visit our website at reetangle.com.

grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecues lit, but there's nothing to grill, when the in-laws decide that actually they will stay for dinner. Instacart has all your groceries covered this summer. So download the app and get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees exclusions and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. Swiped is a new movie inspired by the provocative real-life story of the vision founder of online dating platform Bumble. Played by Lily James, Swiped introduces recent college grad

Whitney Wolf as she uses extraordinary grit and ingenuity to break into the male-dominated tech industry, paving her way to becoming the youngest female self-made billionaire. An official selection of the Toronto International Film Festival, the Hulu original film Swiped starts streaming September 19th, only on Disney Plus. Not a billionaire, not a problem. you can still do something legendary

by leaving a gift to charity in your will. Even 1% in your will can change the game for a cause you care about without taking away what you or your family need. It's a powerful way to make your mark. Anyone can leave a legacy. Willpower shows you how. Learn more at willpower.ca.