Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 11. Greg Davies

Episode Date: December 24, 2020

To finish off a wonderful TM series Ed is joined by the Taskmaster himself, Greg Davies! The pair reflect on some memorable moments from Series 10 and discuss each contestants approach to the show. As well as chatting about some contentious points scoring, they also address the fan fiction that has emerged from Greg and Alex's on screen chemistry. Enjoy!  Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail]  Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster  For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com  Sales, advertising and general enquiries:[e-mail] Taskmaster is on Channel 4 Thursdays at 9pm and you can catch the family friendly version Sundays on E4 at 6pm. Taskmaster the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast extra bonus special episode. I'm Ed Gamble, no longer the champion. Very sad I've handed my crown over to Richard Herring. But what doesn't get handed over to Richard Herring is the ownership of this podcast I will still be in charge for forever more despite him whining online that he's not now hosting the podcast he's got enough podcasts arguably so have I but I will not be letting go of this one this is a very special episode. We will be talking to the Taskmaster himself, Greg Davis. Very excited to have Greg on the podcast to talk about memories of Season 10 and all things Taskmaster in general.

But before we get on with that, very excited to announce, well, we've announced it already, but some of you might not have seen that we will be doing Taskmaster Rewind we will be going back to the beginning of Taskmaster and doing episode one series one on January the 7th that's when it starts and we'll be going through episode by episode hopefully until the end of time we'll have to pause to do series 11 then pick it up again eventually I think we'll probably catch up with the series and then just start all over again uh basically until i go insane that's how that's how it's going to work uh but for now we're going to talk to greg there will also be an episode covering the new year's episode of taskmaster uh our special guest for that one will be scroobius pip who loves taskmaster never been

on the show but uh he does a brilliant podcast called Distraction Pieces, which I'm sure you've heard. It's been around for ages. He does amazing interviews. He loves Taskmaster, so we'll be chatting to him about the new year's ep. But for now, let's get on with this one and talk to the Taskmaster, Greg Davis. Taskmaster Greg Davis. Oh, welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's the Taskmaster himself, Greg Davis. Hello, Greg. Hello. We're in. Are you ready now? Yeah, man, am I?

Ready to go? Done lots of notes? Rewatched the series? Yeah, I rewatched it and I made extensive notes for the past seven days. It's all I've done. I've sacrificed Christmas for it. Oh, was that you? Yeah. A lot of people are quite angry about that, mate. But now they know it's for the Taskmaster podcast, I'm sure they're absolutely fine with it. I can't believe I came up with the idea of a new strain. Just to make sure you had some time to do some notes

on Series 10 of Taskmaster, Greg. I do understand this is probably quite a hard thing to talk about now because, yes, it's just been on, but you've also completed Series 11 at this point, so Series 10 may be slightly distant in the memory, but I'm here to help jog your memory and discuss some of the wonderful times. Well, that's very sweet of you, but I think we both know the reason that my memory will need jogging is because I have no memory left.

Yes, you're a husk. I mean, genuinely, it's almost certainly clinical. Put it like this, Ed. Put it like this, Ed. One of my first jobs when we do a record is to introduce the five contestants and production have to print out their names. Even on episode 10, they still, Mark, the floor manager, still comes out and goes,

here's your list of five names of the people you've been working with for ten full shows I can't retain five names but you know there's anyone from the medical profession listening in I don't want to know what's wrong no but even if they did tell you what was wrong I presume you'd immediately forget about it anyway yeah blissful it's blissful in a way I remember the seeing the name sheet when I did Series 9 and remember being slightly offended. So I'm glad that you've always had to do it and you still do it now.

Have you been on it? Fair, absolutely. That was sitting there. I left that open goal and you took it. If you're going to throw those balls up, mate, I'm going to hit them. What memories do you have of Series 10, Greg? Do you have any sort of general feelings about the series?

Does it fill you with a warmth or a chill? No, it fills me with a great warmth, actually. I don't want to be in any way sincere, but it was a nerve-wracking time. You know, obviously, it's a pretty nerve-wracking time for everyone, isn't it? It was a nerve-wracking time for us because it's a pretty nerve-wracking time for everyone, isn't it? It was a nerve-wracking time for us because we were forced to do things a little bit differently. And so we were all a bit nervous. We'd just moved channel,

and then suddenly we didn't have an audience for the first time. So it was really nerve-wracking, not knowing how it was going to play out. And it sounds mawkish to say but but uh we really couldn't have wished for five better people to help us through those uh turbulent waters straight away they were they were uh what's the word you know it's even though it's just it's just silly tasks even though it's just silly tasks, even though it's on paper a silly game show,

it's still pretty nerve-wracking to put yourself above the parapet like that and expose parts of yourself that you wouldn't normally expose. And they were just, the spirit of all five of them was just brilliant, I thought. Yeah, I thought it was a particularly giving line-up, which I guess you needed in that studio environment. You need people to be giving to each other. It was, it was really giving, yeah. Everyone sort of put their egos to one side so beautifully,

and it makes for... It made for a great series, I think. One of my favourites, for sure. And it also makes it difficult for me to be horrible to them. It's a sort of part of my role, obviously, is to be an unreasonable arsehole. Well, you say it made it difficult, but you certainly managed it. Oh, yeah.

Everyone at some point was treated extremely unfairly. Of course, of course. You've got to pull together in a time of crisis, haven't you? And if I have to be foul to human beings to make a good show, so be it. Towards the end, Johnny Vegas was, I think, you destroyed his very being. He so wanted to do well. He tried so hard in all of those tasks

and any opportunity you got, you disqualified him. And as soon as you found out it was going to make him look bad in front of his child, you went even harder on him. Yes. Well, do you want me to justify that? I'd love you to justify it. Well, I don't have children, but I have nieces, and I'm of the school of thought that if a child brings me a painting and that painting is rubbish, I'm not going to tell them it's good.

Yeah. Because I don't think that that's good for them. And similarly, on the most contentious johnny issue uh where he begged me for a point was this the beer the beer the beer house the beer house and he he begged me for a point and made quite a public show of it quite a public show it just felt like awful emotional blackmail to me. Yeah. And I'm very fond of Johnny, but on that, I thought,

no, this man's got to learn that he can't turn on the waterworks. From my perspective, watching it as a viewer, I wanted Johnny to get that bonus point, and I felt very sorry for him, and I thought he tried really hard. And then I put myself in the place of another contestant. If I'd been on that lineup, I would have been absolutely screaming at you to not give him any more points and disqualify him. Of course you would, because you're one of the most competitive people

we've had on this show. But I'm a laugh as well. I'm a great laugh, Greg. Don't forget that. Sure. Of course, of course you are. In terms of having no audience how did did that change your role or how how you approached it I think it changed the the the dynamic so dramatically I I thought it was amazing and and I think that the the the thing that helped us with the transition was having a heavily pregnant woman

who is the most generous laugher I think I've ever met. It's someone, you know, Daisy was just absolutely in hysterics from the start of the show. And, you know, I know you've spoken about this before, but throughout we... The phrase, is this a laughing fit or is this someone going into labor went through my head so many times so many times but as a result that all of them were so generous in their laughter. It just felt like we were a gang, and it always does to an extent.

I think it always... Well, you know, it feels like a gang show pretty quickly, I think, that we're all in it together and there's just this preposterous, grumpy person in the middle of it. But it still feels like a gang to me. I always want to be part of the new-formed friendship group afterwards, but I never really am. Because the memories of being denied points

or having something judged unfairly. Yeah, that's the great issue with being the Taskmaster is that you form all these friendship groups, but you're always held at arm's length. Always. Always with suspicion. I can't see people see me being publicly weak. I have a 17-year-old

and he's never going to speak to me after this. So be it. Does that sort of, like, gang spirit, did that carry over into Series 11 as well? Yeah, yeah, really, very much so. the same i i don't think you know i i the there wasn't a daisy may laugher in the group that put us all at ease but they were just great straight away and i mean i know we're not here to talk about that series but i'll tell i will tell you man have you got some have you got some treats in store there are two moments uh where i was genuinely speechless

and and genuinely shocked to my core there were two moments where i didn't i i was sitting in that chair going i don't know how to respond to this and they are they are going to live on in taskmaster folklore for as long as this show continues to to be spoken about the both of these things will be at the at the very top of the the list that people talk about when they go, do you remember that show where X happened? One or both things will be in that list. If we're out of this, I almost want to come and watch one of the episodes with you.

Great. Because your reaction, I think you'll just jump out of a window. LAUGHTER now series 10 some highlights i mean i've every week i write down my little my little highlights of the episodes and i've narrowed it i've narrowed it down to a top five. And luckily, it's a moment for every contestant. Every contestant gets a top five moment here. Why don't we take it in turns to tell each other a moment and see if it was in our moments? That sounds great.

Let's alternate a moment. Have you ever alternated a moment on this podcast? This is the first time we've ever alternated a moment. I think we should have a jingle for it. All right, go on then. Alternate a moment I think we should have a jingle for it alternate a moment yeah perfect thank you do you want to go first when I think of the series

I think of the dummy task when they had to dress the dummy did he have a name they had Bernard the mannequin in the circle and they had to get the clothes over and dress Bernard. And Johnny has this extraordinary ability to cause chaos.

And if you're a more cynical person, you'd go, he does it on purpose. But having been through this series, I don't think Johnny does do it on purpose. I think he really is out of control i fit i imagine if i went around to his home it would look like it had been freshly burgled every day because he's just fallen into things and um yeah but it starts it starts tidy i'm imagining he spends all night cleaning then he gets up in the morning puts his foot puts his foot on like one thing and then everything falls over. He's like a human game of mousetrap,

just falling into things. And everything, a domino effect around his home. There were two favourite moments of Johnny for me and they're not really a response to the task, although he did so brilliantly and he was so imaginative and he thinks so, he's such a brilliantly and he was so imaginative and and he thinks so he's such a brilliantly creative mind but the two moments that i go to every time are that he just fell over one

day when he when he was just walking i find it so funny i've re-watched it so many times oh well you and me both make the, the, so there's two moments for John. I've Johnny Vegas falling over twice. So there's, he fell off a ladder quite early on in the series and he broke the ladder and fell off that,

which was amazing. Yeah. And, but then, yeah, it was the, he was running to get a garden hose, I think.

And then it distills his persona, his comic persona, I think, because he was so excited. He was full of such hope for the garden hose i think and then it distills his persona his comic persona i think because he was so excited he was full of such hope for the garden hose and then everything fell apart and he was just running for the hose and he tripped on nothing he didn't slip i've watched it so many times he didn't slip he just fell down just so glorious and the other moment is with Bernard the Mannequin, when it all predictably fell apart and Bernard was, you know, his head was coming off in his hands. And he just held what was left of Bernard the Mannequin and stripped his head and said,

and said, oh, my beautiful boy. Oh, my beautiful boy. Oh, my beautiful boy. I was writing a script the other day and I wrote the line, oh, my beautiful boy, and thought, oh, that's so good, that's going to be so poignant. And then I remembered I'd just simply stolen it from Vegas, who was lost in a genuine moment of emotion. And that's the thing about him.

He's such a genuinely emotional, genuinely emotional human being. Yeah. And I don't, I don't, not sure if we've seen that genuine side of him before. Like it's always been, it's always been very funny and it's always been part of the persona,

but it felt like because he'd invested so much time and effort into the tasks, we were actually seeing his real personality being. Yeah. just but i do think he i think he's a really emotional person and i think you know all good comedy comes from some kind of truth doesn't it and uh and uh yeah you'd be forgiven for thinking that the the character of Vegas is just cynically written, but it's not. I think he's a really intriguing, emotional, not wreck, not wreck, just demonstrably emotional. Well, he's constantly wrecking and then rebuilding.

Yeah, yeah. So he is a wreck, like half of the time. But he's also so eloquent and creative and loving. It's one of the... I said something really... Obviously, I said lots of mean things to all of them, but I said something particularly mean to him about there being no distinction between...

I suggested there was no distinction between his onstage character and his real character. And I think he was genuinely hurt. Because, of course, there is. There is a distinction, you know. He is playing with the character. But I just... My point is, you believe it.

When he stroked that mannequin's head and said, Oh, my beautiful boy, I really was just... I was there. I felt like I was watching a film. He's such a naturally funny presence. My quote of the series, but it wasn't even shown, it was Alex repeating it back, with the count the balls task,

when he emptied all the balls on the floor, and then he said, it looks like a map of my useless DNA. Didn't he just scream once he'd emptied them on the floor? Yeah, he screamed and I think he was going, why do I always do this? Existential, existential cry. I love it. So brilliant.

my moment my uh highlight was this is this alternating moment this is the first alternation this is the first alternation do you need a different jingle for that alternation one okay alternation one um It's Daisy May Cooper. It's the live studio task. It's Hippogate. Well, I've written Hippogate down as one of my top five things as well. Phenomenal. Just incredible, inexplicable, genuinely uncomfortable. Yeah, there was definitely a moment. Well, Richard is genuinely uncomfortable during that

he's got a lit he's got the smile on his face that a little boy has uh if if he's being told off but he still wants to be naughty what did richard say about it i imagine he was genuinely upset wasn't he uh i think he was he was worried at the time yeah he was worried at the time that he i think he was well it wasn't just richard i was worried. I thought that this woman is capable of punching this man in the face. It was not like a hippo in any sense. It was absolutely rubbish. She was 100% in the wrong. But the fury she felt for Richard.

But I think it was born of being paired with him repeatedly. And I think I detected the first time they met some instant hostility from Daisy. Well, she, it's the first team task when he walks into the room and she's already in there. She backs away from him immediately. And this physically backs away from him and looks at him as if he's just a man

who's wandered onto the Taskmaster compound like a random... Do you think there's a chance that Daisy didn't know who he was? I think 100% that's what's happened. Because Daisy's only 33, so there's a good chance that Herring is literally persona non grata. And with the best will in the world to Richard, and I'll speak of my affection for him at some point, with the best will in the world to Richard, and I'll speak of my affection for him at some point, with the best will in the world,

he has consistently for a decade looked like a sex offender. I'll say it to his face, Ed. Oh, I know you will. And it's not like he's maintained one style. Oh, I know you will. And it's not like he's maintained one style. He's been... He's been all the different sex offenders. Multiple different looks.

But the one consistent... The one consistent factor of any look that Herring's had... Have a look on the internet, I implore you. Is that he looks... He looks like he's dangerous. So what happened in that moment was that Daisy was there to do a day of Taskmaster and then suddenly she thought a sex offender had walked into the house. Yeah, she's slightly nervous.

Oh, am I going to make a fool of myself? I hope I'm funny. I hope I do the task well oh my god i'm in danger and then even when you find out when she found out it was richard harry and he was part of the show that sticks around that initial introduction that that sort of colors the relationship but you could almost see her going, OK, this guy's in the show. OK, I'm going to have to adapt to this. And then it all came to a head in Hippogate. You know, it's funny, isn't it?

Daisy was 100% in the wrong, and yet Richard came out of it the villain of the piece for me in some twisted way. I don't understand. She was fuming. It was real. It was real anger. It was, and that was what was unnerving about it.

And I thought I was going to have to step in. I thought I was going to have to genuinely be an authority figure for real. Because we never really see that on on tv like genuine real anger like the sort of private private anger where you're just like screaming and howling which we can all get to now and again but not on tv and she just absolutely we're comedians we keep that stuff hidden in the in the walls of our homes where we're monstrous human beings. I approached it with the David Baddiel drawing task in series nine. I was ramping up towards genuine real anger,

but I still had one eye on it being amusing. I didn't let it loose like that. When David Baddiel revealed that drawing to you, it was like someone putting a delicious meal down in front of me. I felt like... Oh, here we go. What shall I have first?

Shall I have a little bit of... Shall I have a little bit of meat first? Yeah. Do you not think that that looks like a hippo? No. I even did the tail. I had three. I don't know what a hippo's tail looks like.

I said a small tail. Only elephants and hippos have that kind of tail. Let's talk about the opposite sort of person. Katherine Parkinson. Yeah, yeah. Who was a delight from beginning to end. I think she was discovering things about herself as we were discovering them in real time.

Yes, I completely agree. And I completely agree that she was discovering things about herself as we were discovering them in real time. Yes, I completely agree. And I completely agree that she was a delight. Well, you know, I've said in many interviews, the thing that delights me about Taskmaster is there's nowhere to hide. As performers, you become quite adept at only revealing a certain side to your personality. And Taskmaster roots out the other stuff publicly.

And she was just ripe for that because Katherine Parkinson is such a poised, elegant person. And as I said on the show, an actress of some note. on the show, an actress of some note. And I've no doubt just perfectly charming in every single situation. But you can't be mannered in this show. You can't be consistently mannered. And for me, it was just an absolute delight.

Whether it was a delight for Catherine, me taking delight in that poise being uh repeatedly knocked down and exposed I don't know the thing about that I often find this with when you have actors on the show as well because you that thing you say about having to reveal parts of your personality that you've kept hidden up until that point I think comedians are slightly more comfortable with that because that's sort of our job is to find new aspects of our personality to talk about and expose to the public but actors do the opposite that's the opposite job um so having that put in front of them and being confronted with them doing something in real life and that's their personality i can imagine

yeah it must be it must be so hard But she was so genuinely uncomfortable at times. I found it so funny. I felt the glee of a small child thinking, oh, how's Catherine going to handle this? And we did that really naughty, it's only an outtake, but when it sounded like Catherine had done a fart in fear. Have you seen it? Yeah, I love it. And obviously, let's make it absolutely clear,

Catherine hadn't farted. And we all knew full well she hadn't farted. But it sounded so like it. And the childish glee that I felt saying someone farted, but I'm not going to show it unless you all agree to it. The childish glee I felt knowing it was Catherine and that she would be so affronted and horrified by that. Oh, my God.

One of your great skills, Greg, is being able to tease things to the line and just, over the course of 10 episodes just make more and more fun of katherine knowing that she could handle it bit by bit like sort of chinese well i hope i did it incrementally but then at the end with the i think the masks proved controversial the must the clay masks i feel like you thought well it's the last episode let's just go for it and you're so horrible about her clay mask, and she looked broken. I know, and I'm sure everybody thinks that I don't care,

but I really do, and I really felt awful about the masks. You can tell. You basically spend the rest of the episode trying to get back in Catherine's good books. I think you gave her a bonus point at one point just to say sorry Oh there's no doubt that's what that bonus point was for but you know it's a dance isn't it

and I think part of the fun of the show is we do we do take it to the edge and push them a little bit but I did feel bad about I did feel bad about the masks but the trouble is Ed I'm going to make it worse now. But the trouble is, I did think...

I thought she was joking. It wasn't that I thought, oh, I'm going to humiliate Catherine now by suggesting her masks are rubbish. I just thought, oh, she's brought on this thing, this rubbish thing. I just thought, oh, she's brought on this thing, this rubbish thing. I've just had this urge to work with clay. Yep. Quite often male faces.

Right. Everything cool at home? I think it might be a breakdown. Here's Catherine's collection. It's interesting. I expected them to be better than they are. I think that's a fair thing to assume because the prize task is you bring something in because

it's funny or you're genuinely trying to win. At no point is that the best collection. So you would never think someone's brought something on as a prize because they're proud of it. But I don't think Catherine had seen the show necessarily before she picked her prize tasks. At one point during the series,

she commented that she didn't know that this was for points. She thought it was just a bit at the beginning. Yeah, and I think she probably did bring that mask on thinking it was the best thing. It was just a lovely thing. And we'd all go, what a lovely thing that she does in her spare time. But I think when we...

It was in lockdown as well. It was in lockdown. She dedicated her life to making clay masks in lockdown. And then on national television, she has some bloke rubbishing her talent. I'm really sorry if you ever listen to this, Catherine. I am. And when she showed the fuller collection of masks,

I thought there were better ones there. There were ones that I wouldn't have ridiculed her for. So I think Catherine's talent as an artist is still up for grabs. Mawaan Rizwan, an incredible competitor. I think he's sort of sneaking up there with one of my favourite contestants ever, I think think in terms of the variety of things he did um at points I thought he's one of the stupidest people to ever have been on the show in the country in the country one of the cleverest people you get stupid people in the country I mean that's my my moment I could have picked a good moment for

Moana I could have picked a bad moment I've gone with trying to fill an egg with helium I mean good moment for Moana, I could have picked a bad moment. I've gone with trying to fill an egg with helium. I mean, it's without question the top five Taskmaster moments of all the series for me. Because he wasn't joking. Because he did think that he would

be able to put helium inside an egg. And that A, it had the space to get helium inside an egg. Eggs, of course, famously full of stuff. And, B, that it would be enough helium for that egg to start mysteriously floating like a ghost. I don't even know the logic of it if he had put helium. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.

Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. Haley. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. In the egg and the egg floated because he had to get it down onto something. So I think I said this at the time on the podcast,

but the egg would have just floated up to the ceiling, wouldn't it? It wouldn't have got in the pan. What are we imagining here, mate? Are we imagining a world where he successfully got helium into a fucking egg? So he gets helium into the egg. The egg starts to float.

But then the aim then is to get the egg into the pan, which is below him. But the egg's just going to float up to the ceiling, isn't it? Well, I think in Moan's mind, he only gets enough helium in the egg for it to float at a certain height, like a deflated balloon. They start to come down from the ceiling.

So I think he was hoping to judge it so there was only enough helium in the full egg so that it floated at head height and then i guess he was going to blow it over or yeah or hope that the helium dissipated enough as it was traveling over to the pan to drop i mean i'm just trying to imagine if it did he could fill all the eggs with helium and send a sort of flock of eggs over in the hope that one of them makes it. Is that what they're called, a collection, a flock? Is it? A murder of eggs.

I just thought he was wonderful throughout similarly and for different reasons. Mawaan's one of those people who's just so comfortable in his own skin, I think, so happy with who he is and how he responds to things, even if it all goes horribly wrong. And he's such a creative, he's such a creative character as well. I loved his little book of positive affirmations where he counteracted any mean thing I said

with a prepared positive affirmation. Lovely. OK, well, I'd like to say no, Greg. No, yes. I am a valuable member of this team. I am assertive, I am creative, I am powerful, I am beautiful, I am a sexy, badass bitch. I added that last bit.

He was the best at prize tasks, I think, which, you know, was not hard in this series. It was the worst collection of prize tasks week to week. You think prize tasks in this series and you think Daisy May Cooper straight away. Because that woman genuinely offended me throughout because of the contempt that she showed to show by literally stumbling out of her kitchen and grabbing the contempt that she showed to show by literally stumbling out

of her kitchen and grabbing the first thing she could and it's so funny isn't it that that i am genuinely irritated by such things i i it's not play acting by me well because it's the first it's the first thing you see on the show people are tuning in they might have heard about this taskmaster show uh they want to see what it's like and it was on a new channel and the first thing to happen on the new channel with the new series was daisy may cooper brought in a bottle of wine just no absolutely no attempt and also that's what i like about taskmaster is there's never an attempt to produce it any other show would have gone maybe maybe think of something better no we go with we go with what they say and i think that's important that they we go with yeah we let them genuinely make their own decisions

and that's uh and that's another thing you know that's worth talking about is that we also genuinely judge people in the moment as well there's no there's no sitting behind that there's no planning in that we agree uh who's going to do well in any given task. I genuinely judge it in the moment and subsequently, arguably, make the occasional mistake. Well, we might come to those. I certainly picked up on a few mistakes throughout the series, Greg. Now, yeah, obviously Mawaan had the Helium Egg,

but also had a few genius moments. Now, yeah, obviously Mouan had the Helium Egg, but also had a few genius moments. Particular fan of the prize task where he brought in a shrine of himself and also the building the beer mat lighthouse. Those are my two genius Mouan moments. Well, he's a flamboyant man. He's a flamboyant man of self-belief.

Why not? And some cracking outfits. Unbelievable outfits. All of which on any other, would be preposterous. Wouldn't they, though? I can't think of anyone else I know who would walk in with any of those outfits, and I wouldn't say anything other than, are you having a breakdown? But when I see Moana in them, I think, that really suits him, that insane glittery.

Well, you say that. We've got Champion of Champions coming up at some point, and I've not bit my studio outfits yet, so I will be wearing little shorts, and I will be matching my nail varnish to my top. You should. It's time for you to move on from treble denim. Thank you.

Quadruple if you count the shoes. Now, the champion of Taskmaster Series 10, Richard Herring. You even say his name with contempt. Some people have contacted me and Richard and asked why Richard gets such a kicking on this podcast. It's the relationship that me and Richard have had since we first met each other. And I think he has that relationship with a lot of people.

He's just so easy and fun to make fun of. And he takes it. Well, yes, it's because he, it's because he laughs at inflicted cruelty. He finds it funny. People being mean to him.

And I'm sure he's had many years of therapy to work out why that is um but it is intoxicating i agree and i can't wait to be horrible to richard every time i meet him and and i said things to him on the show that shocked me as they came out of my mouth i thought that's just such an awful vindictive thing to say to a human being but he he elicits it i think yeah he asked he asked for it he asked i said there were lots of shuffling old man comments were that i made to him and it felt really natural to say that but richard's my age certainly maybe one year older something like that i don't know well he didn't but he he sort of attacked everything with

enthusiasm but there was definitely an old man vibe to the way he did everything, especially on the, I think you particularly brought it up, on the office chair where they had to wheel themselves around on an office chair. And Mawaan shot off and did it all perfectly. And Richard did it like he was in an office. Like a tragic old man shuffling around a garden centre. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what he looked like. But also I was really shocked by how route one Richard was in his approach to nearly every single task because he's a very clever bloke and he's very creative as well. But his approach to all of them, you know, I had to stop myself on numerous occasions going, what a surprise, Herring's done the obvious Route 1 boring thing.

What do you think happened there? Do you think he just decided that he was just going to have to go for the first thing that he thought of, or was it a genuine passion to win? I think he wanted a win. And I think if you come in with that attitude to Taskmaster, often you end up doing the most boring responses no I didn't I'm not suggesting you do but if that's what you if that's your agenda

it's going to affect your creativity I think because you're thinking right what's the most logical way for me to get from a to b but mercifully in the studio herring was a joy his response his response to his responses was joyful you know well of course the highlight for richard has to be the acting task where he played all of all of the different parts he was the only person uh asked to do that of course as soon as alex sits down with the tasks there must be a person who sticks out immediately as the person that's going to get bullied by being selected to do a task differently. And it was always going to be Harry.

A hundred percent. But yeah, as soon as he was booked, I imagine that Alex went, good, that's the person we're going to humiliate this episode, this series. Yeah. The acting task was extraordinary, though, in that he exposed his lack of talent so quickly, so repeatedly. And that character with the ooh, ooh, that character.

Oh, man, it haunts me. But it was fun then. It was Richard giving up on the idea of scoring points then and just letting loose, I thought. Yeah, and certainly with the way he approached it. It was an impressive line-learning exercise as well. I was genuinely impressed that he nailed all of those characters. I mean, not the accents or the performance, but he did very well.

He did. Well, there you go. He was trying to win, wasn't he? He said, right, I'm going to learn these, I'm going to learn all these, and then I'll be a good boy. I'll be a good boy and I'll win. I've got all my evidence. Hey, Alex, I've got all my evidence for you. I typed it up neatly like you asked. I got 3,000 pounds out of my bank account and I brought it there for you. I typed it up neatly like you asked. I got 3,000 pound out of my bank account and I brought it there for you. It's all the money I got in the world, but you said you needed it more than I did. So I got it out and I wrapped it up for you and here it is. And now you can tell us

who the murderer is and that will be the end of the matter. Now, across the podcast series, I have taken it upon myself now and again to score things differently to you I've had some arguments with you I don't know if you've heard any of those back I've heard some of them but if I hear anyone disagreeing with me I start smashing my own flat up so I stop listening

after a while and this is a point I would make to anyone who criticises any of my decisions, is you fucking try it. No, you've got a lot of decisions to make every episode. It must be very stressful. You've got five people staring at you, asking you to give them the points.

Do you know what, Ed? The thing is, in the moment, it feels like this is our world it feels like like this is where we all live and that these people are relying on me for points and uh and and so the most ridiculous of decisions of judging how well someone's doing how how how well someone's done by creating a work of art out of fucking biscuits or whatever it may be. It becomes life or death in that moment. I can't explain it. It really does feel stressful.

I acknowledge that sometimes I'm not as even-handed as I might be, and I'm very emotional, I acknowledge that sometimes I'm not as even-handed as I might be, and I'm very emotional, but I would like to think that brings something to the show, the fact that you've got an emotionally unstable host. Yes. I feel like that's to the show's credit,

that you don't know which way you're going to score things depending on what sort of day you've had. I don't think that's fair. I don't think it's depending on what sort of day you've had i don't think it's i don't think that's fair i don't think it's depending on what sort of day i've had here we go i think it's more angry i think it's more depending on whether i i have um i have a prejudice against the person i'm judging for for some reason that may or may not be related to the task that I'm judging. So if someone's irritated me earlier in the show, I will hold that resentment. Well, you and I have known each other for a while and you know that I do that in real life. I cling on to resentments.

Yeah, you're a grudge holder. I really hold a grudge. And it's something I don't like about myself myself but I think it's something that plays out well in Taskmaster definitely I only had a couple of points really, the task of drawing an animal

with a hat on that's watching you and you've got to look in the mirror at all times the one way mirror the two way mirror thing you gave Johnny five points because he drew himself all times. The one-way mirror, yeah. The two-way mirror thing, yeah. You gave Johnny five points because he drew himself. Because he mistook the animal with a hat on. Because he had a hat on, and

it was a mirror, he thought that it must be draw a self-portrait of himself. And you gave him five points because it was clearly the best drawing. But he got it wrong. He shouldn't have done himself. He should have worked out that yes, he had a hat on but not everyone else would have a hat on

so the task isn't going to be different for him. Yes, but he is an animal. He wasn't the animal that was watching him. He should have realised that there was another layer to that. He was one of the animals that was watching him. But I just don't... I think he got the task wrong. He got the task wrong.

They'd set up all that lovely stuff. There was the, there was the duck behind the two way mirror and he just drew himself. I don't, I don't think he deserved the points and I'm doing that now. Now I'm not doing a very good job of defending myself because this, this always happens. I always,

I get my ideas and I say, I want to take them to Greg and this happened on the show as well. And then you say it to you and then you look at people in a way that it completely makes the argument. Well, no, I'm happy to argue out. I would just say, I want to take them to Greg. And this happened on the show as well. And then you say it to you. And then you look at people in a way that completely makes the argument. Well, no, I'm happy to argue it out. I would just say, you know, you've pointed out on this podcast before that Alex is having to get increasingly specific in the wording of the tasks because people are finding ways around it. Something started by Richard Osman back in the day. Yes. But I think that's one of the great joys of the show

is that people find ways around things. And I sort of found the idea that Johnny thought that he was the animal that was watching him. It's sort of, I found it quite touching, Ed. So that's what influenced that. You were having a day where Johnny Vegas was sort of an emotional figure. Yeah, but also it's sort of quite sweetly melancholic, isn't it? That we're all just animals staring into the abyss.

I think I was having a poetic day. There are some times where I just get it wrong, right? But on that occasion, I do remember that. And I did remember thinking this fits so well with Vegas's character beside this existential crisis. I sort of stand by the five points, mate. You know what? I think you might have convinced me, to be honest. But you're not going to convince me on this one. Justice for Captain Budwash. it was a prize task bring in the best thing that's bigger on the top than it is on the bottom daisy brought in a cotton bud uh which she'd drawn a face onto and put a pirate hat on and called it captain budwash and you gave it two points i do not know how you justify giving that

two points she'd done so badly with the prize task up until that point yes she'd drawn a face on a on a cotton bud it was as lazy but it was joyous i love captain budwash i wanted to see more of it it was was it bigger on the top than it was at the bottom i suppose captain budwash would have been yeah it had a part yeah yeah sounds like i fucked up you fucked up there mate because that as soon as that was revealed i thought this couldn't be more up Greg's street. It is. Captain Budwash is right up my street. Who won then, Ed?

Remind me. Mawaan won that one with the mic stand when he was, like, it's him. The mic stand is him with a bicycle helmet on, which is pretty good, but Captain Budwash could have. I'm very easily wowed by spectacle. Well, i think that

i think that probably that probably is explained by one of my weaknesses which is holding on to prejudice and grudge and that daisy had been so consistently awful in the prize task i think that she bought that with her she bought that luggage with her and I unfairly punished her. So I'll take that, yeah. And all I can say is that if Daisy's listening to this and she wants to try and market Captain Budwash, that I will happily contribute handsomely to the GoFundMe page. You'll invest in Budwash? Oh, my God, I'll invest in Budwash.

You've upped your game. Do you think? Yes. I call it Captain Budwash. I mean, it is what it is. No, that is true. I've confirmed that. It is what it is.

I get your strategy. It's not to focus on round one. I get it. We've got some emails, Greg, from Taskmaster viewers. I don't think this question is going to go down well. I would like to know this. If Greg has to pick one of the former 50 contestants for succeeding him as the Taskmaster,

who would that be and why? All the best and happy holidays. Jelle van der Kamp from Rotterdam. Well, firstly, hello, Jelle van der Kamp from Rotterdam. Well, firstly, hello, yellow van to come from Rotterdam. And secondly, there will be no one that follows me. I suspected this might be the answer. I will burn that place to the ground before someone else sits on that throne.

You mark my words. I will burn that place to the ground. I will destroy the production company and I will physically kidnap Alex Horne and make him actually live with me for the rest of his life. There will be no successor. And I'm not saying that in a Trumpian way,

in a sort of deluded, oh, everyone's replaceable. It's not going to happen uh this is from elisa uh hi taskmaster i wanted to ask if you were a contestant on taskmaster what would your style be the stay the scale goes from over competitive sorry ed to could not give a fuck joe brand absolutely love the show hope it continues for a while you what do you think ed what do you think i would be like as a contestant on the show you'd be somewhere in a while you what do you think ed what do you think i would be like as a contestant on the show you'd be somewhere in the middle of that scale to be honest i think i don't think you'd be overly competitive i think you'd really want i think you'd want to win and

you'd want to do well but uh but at the right moment you wouldn't you wouldn't give a fuck i think i think you'd be very good at the i think you'd be very good i think you'd put a lot of thought into the creative ones i think you interestingly i think you put a lot of thought into everything you do having worked with you on scripts and stuff uh so i think some of the some of the ones where you'd have to do it quickly and i think you'd want more time yes i i would agree i i think i would want to i would be fiercely competitive about coming up with the best ideas and being and if it went wrong uh trying to be the funniest um desperately desperately trying to put myself as the center of attention um but yeah the thing is I'm actually a surprisingly

practical person I'm actually surprisingly pragmatic um like i'm really good at diy so i think i wouldn't be bad at it but i also i also think i'm a big clumsy fat giraffe so there's a chance that um that was what i was going to say not in those words necessarily but yes you are a big fat clumsy giraffe so so anything where you'd have to run around the house and get stuff i think would be very funny but i played rounders with you recently and it was absolutely hilarious one ball didn't hit one ball and then the desperation on your face every time you missed the ball and had to run to the base you know what i've since sought out instruction on how to hit a rounders ball because i was so upset by it that I have now learnt how to do it.

And the next game of rounders we have, watch out. Oh, boy. Watch out. So what was the question? What style of contestant? I think I would be somebody who thinks he's going to do well and is actually boringly practical forward slash a physical mess.

I think, you know, I'd be out of breath, sweating. I'd be falling into things. I think it would be dreadful. But mercifully, you'll never see me as a contestant on this show. Hello, Ed and Greg. Some of my favourite parts of each episode are the bits of banter between Alex and Greg, and it's been fun seeing how that dynamic has changed over multiple series.

I know that a while ago you discovered that some people on the internet had been writing fan fiction about your relationship. Oh, my God. Has this discovery changed how you interact with Alex on camera? And do you ever think about what bits of your interactions

are probably going to make it into someone's stories on the internet? Cheers from the US, Anna. No, I never think about what bits of your interactions are probably going to make it into someone's stories on the internet. Cheers from the US, Anna. No, I never think about them because I've been so mentally scarred by, I read two full stories on Reddit about Alex and I, and I

when I found them I don't know what I was I don't know what I was looking for, but I wasn't looking for fan fiction that imagined Alex and I as lovers. I just... It was so unexpected to find it, and it was so graphic,

and the two people had really thought about the sort of... ..the potential sensuality between me and the married father of three i don't know that's the thing about that's that sort of thing is it's not just sexual is it they've imagined the emotional structure oh my god it's a relationship it's it's sex coming from emotion and uh i don't know what they're seeing someone sent me an essay this week um that they'd written uh about the sort of bondage sadomasochistic undertones of our relationship and it was a serious sort of you know fairly eloquent article on the underlying potential relationship. I don't see it.

But maybe I need therapy. I don't know. Maybe there is something going on there. I will tell you this about the relationship. Go on. Well, I've never known a dichotomy like it, really, how I feel about a person within one situation and in another because outside of the show well you know alex horn is just an absolutely delightful

person and uh you know let me put this on record i've been camping with the man and let me also put this on the record. I haven't had sex with him. But in that studio, I genuinely find him irritating. I do. And it's like the past is wiped the moment I sit on that throne. I think, oh, God, him. And it's coming from a very real place. It's not pantomime. When we have those banter sections and he knows this when we have our early show banter i i never

know what he's going to say he's he's always come up with some little skit that he wants to try out and i've no doubt that's one of the things that's changed over over the series is that he now definitely picks things that are sufficiently oblique to genuinely get my packet my backup I guess it's best it's better for Alex if the taskmaster is is somewhat infuriated before the the show proper starts so he just says oblique things that have no ending. Yeah, that's what is genuinely interesting, and I don't know if people realise, is that when Alex does a joke at the beginning of the show,

that is a joke that Alex thinks is funny, and it's so not your humour. Your reaction is genuine to that. You just don't like that sort of humour. No, because I like there to be a degree of structure. Otherwise, what you're doing is you're just saying words. And I'm sure there's a forum of dweebs globally who love saying,

oh, it's really funny to have a collection of words put together. But I'm not part of that tribe and he knows it. So he just makes increasingly oblique statements. And then I see him sit back with glee and see the glint of his wonky teeth. And I feel genuine rage towards the man. What made Greg bring Nish and James to the back of the stage? Thanks for the podcast. It's been brilliant.

That's from Colton from Wisconsin, USA. Because both of those men took me immediately back to my previous career with their words and actions. And I was transported back to being a teacher. And the rage, the dismay, the disappointment was genuine. There was no pantomime in those actions with a caster i thought okay okay i can't i i can't have someone disrespecting me in in yeah so he was lippy right he called you a pussy for not being able to open a box yeah and then that had to be dealt

yeah and and i felt i dealt with it in a very even-handed way because my instinct was to jump on him like a puma. And with Nish, again, it's similar. You know, I've taught children like Nish who you think, I've got to intervene here because this boy's, this child's not going to get anywhere in life unless someone intervenes. And that's the only time you've done that with those two, right?

You've never felt... I've never had right? No, I've never had to. I've never had to. No, you've never had to. But for very different reasons. One was someone who had to be disciplined and another was someone I was worried about. But it's the same technique. You isolate and you appeal to the side of them

that's not playing to the gallery. You'd have to ask James and Nish but I think that as a result of those moments their lives will be tangibly better I think we don't need to ask them, we know that to be true this is from Mike

simple question how do you sleep at night? fitfully yeah certainly not well is it i i suspect that mike means in terms of my conscience uh because i'm right because i'm right mike most of the time i'm right but uh if you were genuinely inquiring about my sleep patterns. I go to sleep. I sleep for 10 minutes. I wake up immediately. I'm awake for an hour. I wake up at 3.30 in the morning because I am a middle-aged

man and I have to go to urinate. I'm then awake for two hours. I fall asleep. For two and a half hours, I wake up. now having spent long days with you writing um also the night sleep doesn't end the day you know that you'll have a nap in the day uh approximately i think it was 10 40 a.m normally we'd start work at 10 then 10 40 you'd go for a nap because and i quote my head's full of bees that's it though isn't it that's the creative process yeah fill your head full of bees have a nap and they sting those bees well that seems like a lovely a lovely place to end this episode of the taskmaster podcast now greg uh in every episode we've been asking the guests to rate their experience on the taskmaster podcast between one and five points.

Of course, now this is the ultimate score for the podcast because you are the Taskmaster. You're used to this scoring. So we've got 45 points so far. Most people have gone with five. Paul Chowdhury went with one. Oh, really? I think a couple of... Yeah.

I listened to Paul's episode. I mean, you know. And the man's mystifying. In the best possible way. Given that at no point during the podcast was I bored and willing to finish, Ed, I'll give you the full five. It's five points from Greg.

Thank you so much, Greg. We're all looking forward to the New Year's special. Oh, the New Year's special was a lot of fun and it was really an interesting experiment to have non-comedians come and play with us. I really enjoyed myself and you're going to love it. There will be an episode of this podcast to talk about the New Year's special.

It's a phenomenal episode and, yeah, you have an absolute scream. It's a great deal of fun. But the forthcoming series as well, honestly, strap yourselves in. Well, there we go. What a wonderful episode that was. And what fun I've had doing series 10 of Taskmaster, series one of the podcast.

And I'm looking forward to getting stuck in to all of the Taskmaster, series one of the podcast, and I'm looking forward to getting stuck in to all of the Taskmaster episodes. We are going through it episode by episode. It's quite the undertaking. That kicks off in the new year. January 7th will be series one, episode one. So get ready for that. But before that, we'll be talking about the New Year's episode. The New Year's episode of Taskmaster is on New Year's Day at 9pm on Channel 4. It's an incredible lineup of people that we never thought we'd get to see on Taskmaster, so tune in for that, and then straight after that, we'll be dropping the episode of the podcast,

dissecting, discussing that episode with special guest Scroobius Pip. Hope everyone's doing alright. What a weird year, What a rubbish Christmas. But I think we can all agree Taskmaster has been a true tonic in these tricky times, and we'll be back discussing that very, very soon. Thank you very much. Thanks to Greg.

Goodbye. We'll see you next time.