Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 12. Taskmaster's New Year Treat - Scroobius Pip

Episode Date: January 1, 2021

What a treat, a Taskmaster New Year one off with a fabulous line up of contestants. Joining Ed on the podcast to dissect and discuss is poet, actor, musician and huge Taskmaster Fan - Scroobius Pip! Pip and Ed reveal their thoughts on a Bop-it, Shirly Ballas' flirting and who they would love to see return. Happy New Year & Enjoy! Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail]  Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster  For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com   Sales, advertising and general enquiries:[e-mail] the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. New Year's treat special podcast of that episode. Quite a convoluted way of saying that. It's another episode of the Taskmaster podcast. We are going to be chatting about the special New Year's I'm going to say celebrity Taskmaster but everyone's a celebrity on Taskmaster or at least they are by the time they finished it uh but these are more sort of traditional celebrities than the non-comedian uh celebs uh it's an amazing lineup it was a fantastic episode

Taskmaster is always fun of course it is it's It's the silliest, most fun show on television. But this had an extra layer to it. Everyone was just so relaxed. I say it to our special guests, but it really felt like a big old party. So we're going to be chatting through that episode, looking at the new contestants, talking about the tasks, how we would have done them, how we think Greg should have scored them. Or we might agree with Greg now and again.

Now and again, not all of the time at all. But it was a really fun episode and the perfect tonic to a weird year, as Taskmaster always is. But this felt like a lovely little cap on the year. So let's talk to our special guest. Our special guest is the wonderful Scroobius Pip, podcaster

actor musician all of these things uh he does an amazing podcast called distraction pieces which he's done for a very long time it's a brilliant interview podcast it's had some incredible guests on it including me yes don't worry uh and also yes some brilliant people too so go and listen to that after you have listened to this of course if you've not seen the new year's treat episode of taskmaster yet go and watch that first and then listen to the podcast it would just be weird to do it the other way around it wouldn't make any sense to you uh after that why not go on the taskmaster youtube youtube.com forward slash taskmaster getting as much taskmaster content as possible yes Yes, I say Taskmaster a lot, but it'd be weird to not say it a lot because that's what the podcast is about. So without further ado,

let's crack on. Here is the brilliant Scroobius Pip on the Taskmaster podcast. Welcome, Scroobius Pip, to the Taskmaster podcast. Hello, Edward Gamblewood. I'm very excited to be here. podcast. Hello Edward Gamblewood, I'm very excited to be here. Thank you, finally a guest uses my full name. Well it's been too long. Well I decided that it's arrogant to assume that you only shortened your first name. You know you got rid of your best name completely, you don't use Stevenson, the most amazing part of you as a human I think but so what is there to assume you wouldn't have abbreviated your surname as well so I'm glad I've my full name it's finally been revealed on the Taskmaster podcast is Edward Stevenson Gamblewood yes exactly it's good to

be here well thank you very much for coming on very Very excitingly to talk about the New Year's treat, the New Year's Taskmaster treat, which I don't think anyone was expecting. It truly feels like a treat because just to do this one-off with people who are probably too busy to do the full series or they are trying to work out a way of getting them into a full series but couldn't quite work it out.

And it is quite the array of names that I don't think you'd see together on television at any other point. It's amazing because it's one of those exciting things because there's always people when you watch Taskmaster, I'd love this person to be on but they're not a comedian. Do you know what I mean? It's not going to quite fit perfectly. And this kind of showed how

yeah adaptable the format is exactly but before we before we crack on into the episode yes uh obviously you're a you know an erstwhile podcaster uh actor uh musician yes you've you've done it you've done it all pip and a tm fan you are a Taskmaster fan. You've been very vocal about that on your various platforms. So let's just talk about what you love about Taskmaster and some of your favourite moments from across all of the series. Or from day one. It's just, I genuinely think it's the most consistent show on TV. There's not been an episode I haven't enjoyed

and that's so rare, particularly in these kind of Netflix times. Yeah, it's just, it's so consistent and kicking it off with, I mean, I could watch Ramesh and Tim Key do absolutely anything, read the phone book and I'll be in tears of laughter. When I had Tim on my podcast, do absolutely anything read the phone book and i'll be in tears of laughter when i had tim

on my podcast i was really worried because i just giggle at him speaking and i was like this isn't going to be a good podcast as a host this isn't going to be a good podcast but yeah that started it off so well tim's sneakiness in that episode ramesamesh is trying to be cool and laid back about it, but being hilariously grumpy, as is his go-to. And Rasheen Connery's just Rasheen-ness, essentially. They did nail that first cast.

It's absolutely perfect. But I don't think they've really put a foot wrong in terms of casting and i think that is the genius of the show they do they do find people uh with amazing chemistry but they don't know they're going to have chemistry until they get into the studio yeah and often i think it's the same with any fandom there's there's occasionally people are like oh well i did i liked it in the last series and now i don't know any of these people they've announced and then within one episode, everyone's going,

all right, this one's good as well, sorry. Yeah, I mean, again, that's kind of the excitement and beauty of it, right? We've just seen in the last series with Mouan. I wasn't familiar with him, and he was an absolute joy every moment he was on screen. Totally. Yeah, that's part of the excitement i like it

i don't think there's ever been a series where there's not one person where i go oh they're going to be good and then you kind of you've yeah they've built up that that faith and that trust it's so hard to pick a favorite lineup because I think everyone knows that the general rule is any series of anything that has Bob Mortimer in is the best series because he's Bob and it delivered on Taskmaster. He was just consistently just amazing. But yeah, I loved... A lot of people talk about Series 7 being a classic

and it was everyone on there was great if you're going on figures you know series nine is is is until the channel four era and we have to count that oh if we're going on viewing figures yeah fine we'll count that separately but if we're going on viewing figures, yeah, it was the most popular series, I'd say. Exactly, you know. And the best. So the winner of the most popular series must just be the most popular? The most popular contestant of all time, I suppose so.

I suppose you're probably right, but... It's arguable, isn't it? Surely. I'm sure a lot of people would argue otherwise, but there we are. But I think you're right. It's so difficult to pick a favourite series or favorite contestant because yeah it's one of the only shows where you can see someone for that long on tv as well someone can do 10 episodes of a panel show so everyone gets a moment to shine and everyone has at least i mean everyone has at least five genius

moments per series yeah yeah i think that but there are those people that as soon as they're announced, you go, this is going to be, just their style matched with what the show is. But I was chatting on social media the other day. It was Rick Edwards. I was chatting with Rick Edwards about it on socials. And we were both saying, just imagine it. Just everyone's panic about what they're doing. And Jamali just is sat there vaping and he's he's finished already and doesn't care no really really looking forward to that and and we've seen the the lack of effort

can be incredibly amusing by the first task every week on the last series where just the lack of effort was overwhelming i don't feel like that would be your style if you did the show pip i think i think you've you've proven already that you're really into the show and you throw you'd throw yourself into it i think you'd be which i think you'd be you'd be one of the ones who wanted to win but you'd really put your all into it i mean ed all i do is win win win win win it's it's it's it's a known fact it's something that's known about me so yeah i think that would be yeah i think i'd be incredibly competitive every every series i get excited about the one task in the show that i know i would have smashed

and i get in going yeah denial about the other ones that i drew a complete blank on couldn't think of anything to do. I'm like, see, I would have got that easy. I would have won that so good. It would have been hilarious and effective. And yeah. Do you have any particular tasks from Taskmaster history that you wish you could have done or just favourite tasks?

Well, my favourite all-time task. And again, it's another person. Speaking of Jamali being just the ideal one when lou sanders was announced as being on taskmaster i just was right that's going to be an amazing series she's going to be for sure consistently just wonderful um and on on the season that she was on the task where they start on the railway bridges and Alex goes down and hides and they have to sneak their way along

and someone hid in a bin. And that was just... That was Lou. Of course that was Lou. I want to do that task just with my mates, let alone on Taskmaster. It was just... It just felt endlessly amusing.

And that was a series where Joe absolutely surprised me. I didn't know what to expect from him as a contestant. And he seemed consistently ashamed of himself and embarrassed of all of his efforts and his whole existence. And it was wonderful to watch i knew i knew what to expect with joe so i've known joe for a long long time and as soon as he was announced as a that's a genius casting and b i can't wait for people to realize that he's the

weirdest man in the universe just his his his his interactions with with alex every time were the first thing to rival your friend of mine, James Acaster's, just ignoring of Alex for a whole season. Because again, that was just, I didn't care about the tasks for most of that season. I just want to watch James ignore Alex again. I mean, that speaks to Acaster's commitment to a a bit because I think that's the sort of thing like say I decided I was going to do that oh I'm gonna I'm not going to answer Alex every time you go and do a task within three times of doing that and seeing Alex's little face crumble I would have been like nope pulling out of this immediately no I can do that this is because

it's fifth I think we filmed like over 50 tasks I think So that's 50 times he didn't say hello to Alex. Multiple times a day he ignored Alex Horne. Yeah, I love it. It's absolutely adorable. I've also, I think, I mean, I need to highlight that Alex is just an absolute star of Taskmaster because it's so funny to see his inability to be unbiased and equal with everyone just due to his embarrassment and awkwardness um yeah that's we've got i'll discuss that coming up actually because he his broad rule seems to be if a woman asks him to do something he has to do it 100 and again it's it's gonna come up in this episode because i think alex was far less comfortable not being around

his comedy mates i felt i felt there was an awful lot of kind of oh these are real celebrities from the tv they're off the tv i don't know how to you and greg as well at points i thought there was element there was moments where there was this kind of... It's a TV person. I don't want to be as mean as I normally am or whatever else. He was definitely nicer this episode, Greg, I think. I think he was more relaxed as well. This felt like a Christmas party. Like the main series is finished and everyone was a bit relaxed

and this felt like a bit of fun after the main thing. Yeah, I mean, Christmas party is the perfect analogy there because it instantly felt you know it's on channel four now it instantly felt a bit holly oaks nights as um off the bat greg was getting sexy and being a bit explicit and it was oh hello let's crack on with the price task pit best thing to bring to a party which i cannot believe they've not used before yeah the prize tasks are getting more and more specific as they have to and as they should they've never used best thing to bring to a party it's a great general prize task it's absolutely amazing right um and i always i always get hugely excited on this the first the first task of the

first episode obviously this is a standalone but the first task because you get to see who has clearly never watched the show before um yeah and we got a couple of them straight off the bat definitely i think we were straight in with uh Hanna's Bop It toy. I mean, we'll sort of, we'll come to them. We'll chat about the contestants individually during this, I think. We'll do a spotlight on them, eh? We'll do a spotlight. I listen to the podcast, Ed.

I'm all over this. Spotlight on John Hanna. Such a serious, proper actor. Yeah. I couldn't wait to see what he does. Obviously, most famous for Four Weddings and a funeral that very sad speech so um quite a gear shift when he brought a boppet in i mean again it's it's it's beautiful though because greg and alex having to try and be ah all right and again they as as've said, they got prep for this in Series 10. They got prep for finding how to pitch their underwhelmedness.

Now, tell me what you think, Pip. You seem to be agreeing with Greg and Alex here that a bop-it is an underwhelming thing to bring to a party. Maybe I've just not been to very good parties, but I thought that was quite a good thing to bring in. If someone came to a party with a boppet, I'd be on that boppet immediately. Right.

It's a kind of, it's a stealth thing to bring to a party. It's not the thing that's going to get the attention when you walk through the door, but it's going to be the thing that around whatever time, a few hours in, people are still enjoying. It's not going to

have the impact and taskmaster they're not actually having the party i don't know if they knew this i don't know if they thought they were being invited to a party and they were bringing something but they need that impact as they walk in the door but i completely agree i think a bopper is better than it first appears there'd be a lot of I mean, other things that we'll get onto here that would have the impact coming through the door and then would sit in the corner and be ignored. You're quite right. That's what you need for a prize task in general.

Anyway, you need something that has impact when you announce it initially. It needs to immediately conjure up an image in the mind. You need to be like, bang, that's a good thing to bring. And you're right, maybe Bop It, little bit of the mind you need to be like bang that's a good thing to bring and you're right maybe bop it little bit of stealth you need to think about it too much because i think greg would love a bop it at a party he's got nerf guns in his house yeah yeah that doesn't surprise me at all yeah um so he'd love a bop it yeah i i i uh i would love that at a party but um i should let you know that i was once told off at a stag do for playing Codenames.

So I'm not really a sort of fun rock and roll guy. I prefer a game to a beer. It's completely fair. I'm the same. Me and you would be in the corner battling it out over Bop It. Krishnan, now I think this is the one that deserved the one point for me is uh the 15 15 pound 99 disco lights yeah i don't i don't why would he why why would he bring that to a party imagine if you were at a party just trying to have a nice time and then krishnan guru murthy

turns up misjudging the tone with some cheap disco lights now now i've got a theory i think krishnan guru murphy has got a cool agent um who watches all the cool shows and listens to all the cool stuff and he's never said i thought when he was on off menu i thought he's never heard this podcast before yeah no it could not be clearer he has no idea what's going on here and it feels like his agent has taken the the setup of the classic comic relief, let's get the newsreaders to do something out of their comfort zone and wonderfully turned that into a career. Because he turns up on so much cool stuff that I'm into

and as soon as he starts, you're like, oh, he's never listened. I always think, oh, cool. How mad that Christian Guru Murphy is into Off Menu. Oh no, hang on, he's not into it at all. No how mad that Christian Guru Murphy is into off menu oh no hang on he's not into it at all no he had no idea what was going on

and this was I mean why would you bring disco lights to a party what that's if anything that's undermining

the people throwing the party it's assuming that they're not going to have covered I don't have faith in you to throw a good party

so here's the basics. Yeah. But then he said he used to go to discos three times a week. So was he taking disco lights to the disco just in case? Yeah, exactly. His own little strobe lights. His own glow sticks.

Proper raving. I used to go to the disco two or three times a week. I don't want to be mean, but you do sound like you're lying. I think he was great on Taskmaster. I think he was baffled by a lot of it, but that's kind of wonderful to see. It's always fun when there's one person who doesn't really know what's going on.

He's great on everything. That's why I think he's got this cool agent who's just like, it works. I can put him on anything. And he's got that tone that he will play along. he's not going to be stroppy or snooty there's going to be moments where he tries to play along and it doesn't land and there's going to be yeah which is more fun and there's going to be moments where it does land perfectly so yeah i think it's wonderful but you're 100 right that was the one point yeah definitely for me for me that was the one point yeah definitely for me that was the one point spotlight on Nicola

she brought a skeleton with a bottle of tequila this was my personal favourite Pip it's the five pointer I completely agree it's the five pointer it's also the one that would have been

in the corner of the room being ignored shortly after you've walked in the door but we're walking in the door here we're not I can't I can't be clearer we're not having the party

we're walking in the door here. We're not, I can't be clearer. We're not having the party. We're walking in the door. And yeah, I think this was the, yeah, this was the five points for me. This is the impact thing. This is what people are having photos taken with at the party as well as soon as it's through the door. They're like, she's got a skeleton. Yeah, definitely.

I think that was the five points for me. I think we'll come to Shirley. I think Greg was wowed by Shirley's showbiz. Yeah. And that's why the five points for me i think we'll come to shirley i think greg was wowed by shirley showbiz yeah uh and that's and that's why the five points went to her because she sold it very well but i think uh as soon as nicola brought that in i was like i think we might have a winner here and i was proved massively wrong i think i think you've you've nailed it there because with this task you're looking at what is the item that most people are going to have in the photo they post on Instagram from the party

to show people that they were at the party, to prove they went to a party. And it's the skeleton. It's a clear winner. And then adding the tequila in there, that's a bit of fun. Yeah. And then adding the tequila in there, that's a bit of fun. Yeah.

So, spotlight on Ryland, who I was so excited for when he was announced. Mate, same. I mean, we'll talk about him loads through this, obviously. He's my hometown guy. Yeah, of course. He's from Stanfordly Hope. I don't know if he's from Stanfordly Hope or his mum still lives there. He lives up the road a bit, I think. But what you get in Stanford, we're the two extremes.

There's going to be a beard, but it's either Ryland or Scroobius Pip. That's the two ends of Stanford. But he's, yeah, I think he's amazing. And yeah, right off the bat, he was, him and Nicola right off the bat were argumentative, were forceful with their ideas and putting themselves forward. And that's what you want.

That's what you love to see. After this episode finished, I thought they were all really good. But Ryland was one who stood out as I want to see Ryland on a full series of Taskmaster. 100%. Because he wanted to win so much. He argued every single point. He looked genuinely annoyed at points.

He brought in a robotic vacuum. This was not a good start from Ryan. I don't think this was a good prize task. It's not something you want to bring to a party because his point was that he couldn't get to sleep if there was a party in his house and he knew that it was messy. But he's bringing that to a party. So he's basically going around someone else's house and saying this place is

going to be a tip i can't sleep knowing that you live in a sty you see it's not a good thing to bring you see i don't know if i was just weighed over by it by the rile of this of it all because i liked it i liked it i'm not yeah i'm i'm a polite party guest so i will be needing to offer to help tidy up and things like that so I think there was that element of the once the party's over he can then go well here's my

nomination, here's the person who's going to tidy on my behalf so yeah I enjoyed it but I think it's partly because I was so anti the winner in this task um right so you sound like you're more anti that so let's spotlight on Shirley Ballas uh you were anti you were anti

Shirley's prize but I wasn't anti it I don't think I think you're looking at three to four points for the trolley yeah I thought three points I wasn't completely against it i was against um greg falling in love so quickly um i think he needs to protect himself more i think he needs to hold back with his emotions and not go so deep so quickly but the speed with which he was all over this prize and i was like it's just a drinks trolley. Effectively, the skeleton had Wills on it and a tequila in it. That was also a drinks trolley. Yeah, very true. It's a human skeleton. So if we're even just comparing drinks trolleys,

the one that's a human skeleton wins for me. Also, it had a record player on it that wasn't plugged into any speakers. So that's a useless waste of space on top of that. Look, I get it. Greg knows that's a useless waste of waste of space on top of there i am look i get it it's greg knows it's a one-off episode normally in a full series he wouldn't go all in like that but he thought i can just tell everyone exactly what i'm thinking he fell in love with shirley ballas immediately she wowed him and blinded him with glitz and glamour and you know he melted is i mean yeah his love for sally phillips came out in

episode three of that series so he's got the resistance there shirley got five points not the drinks not her item and again exactly i'm kind of okay with that in a way but we need to acknowledge that that's what happened totally we need to acknowledge that a drinks trolley with a record player that isn't plugged into anything isn't better than an actual human skeleton but to be fair to shirley as soon as she started speaking i thought i cannot wait to see what she does in the rest of the episode 100 100 and and just she had the vibe of someone who was just absolutely dying to dance. And that was evident. That was evident several times.

So yeah, she was holding it in. In every task. I think in every task she did a little dance. Yeah. I mean, find what you love and make a career of it. God bless her. It's fair enough. She's clearly got the passion for it.

So no arguing there. I mean, mean my god i can't take my eyes off the woman i mean it's just a wondrous wondrous thing and you know when you were describing it and i looked at the beautiful vision that would greet me while you sauntered around it i imagine not for a second during that whole description did I think, but who's going to hoover up afterwards? What would you have brought Pip? What's your, what's your prize best thing to bring to a party?

Well, my best thing to bring to a party is the fact that as a kid, I went on the fun house. You're bringing a fact. Yeah. Okay. Now I just getting into Greg's. Putting it like that. It so scroovy as pip doesn't it fucking poet now the poet's brought a fact to the party brace yourselves by your own metrics pip by i've got to treat you yeah as you would

treat someone else bringing a fact to the party where's the impact where's the impact in the door we're not having the party you can't talk about the fact you're walking in the door how are you showing that you've been on funhouse bang what's the impact i'm letting one person know and then if you're at a party and someone there is telling a story of going on funhouse as a kid you're gathering round you're it's that kind of there was a thing in in the kind of late 80s early 90s in wrestling where jake the snake made a point of saying speak quite like where everyone was all shouty in their promos and jake the snake said speak quietly and they'll have to lean in to listen to you so you'll draw them in rather than shout for their attention speak

softly and make them come to you that's that's what happens with a fact like that and it's a true story because my brother was at a party a while back and there was a guy there on his own and he was on funhouse um as a kid and he was the talk of the party everyone all night he was being essentially passed from group to group answering questions about the twins, answering questions about Pat Sharp, everything. And at the end, my brother was at the door, and the guy was leaving, and he walked past him and went, made all that up, I wasn't really on Funhouse, and left.

And it is one of the most legendary... I wasn't on Funhouse. Of course I wasn't. I would have mentioned that way before now, but it's just, I've never heard anything from a party talked about more and get a bigger reaction every time. Of course, because why would anyone lie about being on Funhaus?

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Alex Jones the conspiracy theorist would claim that they were all actors and Funhouse never really existed and they were there to put forth a narrative that the government wanted to put forward

but yeah they definitely weren't twins on Funhouse they were clones they were clones 100% clones but yeah that was a show that literally I've never met anyone of our age who didn't want to be on either Funhouse or Nightmare yet I've also never met anyone who was on either so

yeah I would bring it's now revealed to be a fake fact to a party and it would be more popular than a skeleton you've done well there because it doesn't have the impact initially but it's a good chat in the studio i think that would do that would do very well five five points well done

so get the biggest thing through the donut without breaking the donut you have 20 minutes your time starts now it's a it's a tough task this is but especially thinking of it from a comics perspective because that's the sort of one where that is kind of very route one way of doing it but how do you make it entertaining and how do you make it funny um and you're just trying to think around it this is how you know that ryland's seen the show before because he's immediately trying to think outside the box and also we should probably talk about his outfit at this point i mean he's only on one episode and i think he's stolen my favorite outfit in taskmaster history obviously phil wang was in there obviously lou sanders was in there and daisy may cooper was the recent um rise to the throne but rylan instantly so simple so so effective so amusing as was the outfit boom boom yeah there we go

yeah absolutely what a talk about impact that should have been his thing to bring to a party 100 how did you have that in your bag and then the thing you bring to a party is a hoover a robot hoover um john hannah approaching it i mean he's got such gravitas john hanna he's almost like a sort of he's like a scientist at a coronavirus briefing i think yeah i'd listen i'd listen to him i'd listen to tier four yeah yeah john hanna saying it a hundred percent a hundred percent he's got that that that vibe about him and, I think he was one that Alex was slightly intimidated by. I think there were moments when Alex was a little bit standoffish and nervous. And I think John missed a trick in that he could have asked Alex to do pretty much anything.

And at least until he's got Greg to back him up, he would have gone along with it. He might have gone to the studio and said well you know that shouldn't be allowed once he's got Greg there next to him but prior to that I think he could have got away with anything he just put loads of things through the donut

so in the end he ended up pouring that massive cup of tea through it which is such a clever idea but I don't think he had the idea I think he was just putting as much stuff through it as possible he was just putting things through and then but the liquid is such a good way of doing it but i don't think he thought around it this was the one you know i said that every episode there's one task where i know i've nailed it this was the one that i instantly came up with my idea and i knew i was doing this podcast so i was like

i hope none of them do this because it's the best idea and it's i mean it's not that funny but you could make it more amusing but i would have just put the donut around a tap and left the tap running yeah and put gallons and gallons and gallons of water i mean it's a huge waste it's a terrible thing to do but it's even if it's just filling the bath I think if you'd worked out that water or liquid

would count as the biggest thing I think because I don't think John Hanna would work that out because if he had he would have done the other thing and used the tap yeah exactly

I saw him do that and thought oh no but yeah or the hose anything but he lucked out there I think Shirley just with a constant stream of innuendos

that's basically what she put through the doughnut. The big pipe business. This was the one that just made me absolutely fascinated by Shirley's brain. Her initial first thought was to make the hole ever so slightly bigger. Just a bit. It wasn't much bigger.

It's just like, just cut this little extra bit out it's like i don't know how much that's going to help you i think you again the thinking outside of the box is like right yeah to figure a way to do this but i'm going to make it also i i would have been worried i would have been worried at that point that i was breaking the donut yeah yeah now obviously obviously obviously i think if you broke the ring maybe they'd have you there but the cutting out feels like you're breaking it as well because my instant thing was maybe i'd try and make no mistake ed if you'd done it greg would have been down on you like a ton of bricks yeah fair point all i was thinking was that i might have pulverized the donut and tried to reform it

yeah so but then i guess i would have been breaking it and then reforming i mean it would have been an argument in the studio sometimes if you can't think of anything good it's good to break the rules and then try and argue your way out of that corner that's always always that's yeah that's a that's again that was established in series one with tim key tim key was mainly there for an argument in the studio rather than yeah anything he did on the task it's like get me in front of him and i'll plead my course and whether i win or lose at least i'll have my day in court uh rylan used special effects this is you know you know he's seen the show before uh he used the cow in the distance and uh and put the donut close to the camera so it looked like

the cow was going through the donut and it's a little dance it's a winner he did a little dance he had a little sing and he did it really well um i was worried at first when he put the donut up that it wasn't flat side on because if you're gonna cheat i want it to be accurate but then he just adjusted it and it looked he did it perfectly it looked good yeah master but what annoyed me about it though is he did it and then he turned the donut around and started just like wiggling it around so he sort of he broke the illusion which i wasn't a fan of but again i don't know is that part of the magic trick a kind of vibe right you do it and then you wait yeah so it couldn't have been done it's not possible but i did i mean i wouldn't have said this to his face because if you argue with him on this he absolutely loses it uh he

said to john hannah oh i was in a film which made me squawk same same and this was this was an interesting point because again you got to see the people as we've said who haven't seen the show suddenly realize what's going on and get a little bit annoyed because they did try and argue a little bit well it was the image of the cow so it was not the actual you should be measuring and then John jumping in with the aperture and all this so yeah I enjoyed that poor old uh poor old Krishnan I think was a bit baffled by it again uh as was Nicola was just so excited at the uh the variety of things that she could put through the donut that she didn't stop to think that nothing was actually going through the donut.

It was just balanced on top of a cactus. Yeah, it was quite curious. I couldn't get my... I was watching it as she was doing it and I was thinking, have I missed her say something? Because I don't know what's happening here. I don't know what the...

How is all this going to go through? It's like, all right, no, I didn't miss anything. No, I think she decided that it had gone through how is all this going to go through it's all right no it's i didn't miss anything no i think she decided that it had gone through and then was retrospectively adding things to it to make it a bigger thing i sort of saw how she was thinking about it but it really it was on it it wasn't through it i tell you what would have been good now thinking again on on her on her kind of approach getting a really big balloon uninflated, pass it through, then fill it up with

water because it's passed through and then the measuring back on the water period. I'm obsessed with water Pip. It's the key to passing through games. Have you not gone through my book on how to win Taskmaster? I enjoy that technique.

Here's what I think Greg would say. If you pass a balloon through and then inflate it, it wasn't big when it went through. That's like saying my mum gave birth to a 14 stone baby because I've got bigger after I've come out of the donut.

Sorry, mum. Yeah. Well, that's a hard one to say really I wouldn't want to comment You bet big on that cactus being through the donut I did And you fucked it And now it's time to hear from our

BFF bonus fact finder, Alex Horne. Ah, whoops! And a happy new year to you from me, little Alex Horne, the bonus fact finder, BFF. From me, little Alex Horne, the bonus fact finder, BFF. And yes, I do have a fact about the Taskmaster treat, the first ever New Year's Day special. So here we go. Are you ready? Good. The fact is this. In the first task of the episode, the donut task, some of you, many of you in fact, may have noticed. There was some writing on the back of the task. None of the contestants noticed the writing. But I shall now reveal what it said.

The task itself was, of course, get the biggest thing through the donut without breaking the donut on the back. In font size 9 writing, it said, if you put the words the biggest thing through the donut, you will be disqualified and lose one point. We did that because I vaguely expected somebody just to write the biggest thing on a piece of paper and put it through the donut and expect to win. I like people to work around the rules and to think laterally, but you know, there's a limit. None of them noticed it, laterally but you know there's a limit none of them noticed it but i would say if you are a future contestant and you are listening to this podcast this sort of thing may well happen again check

the back of the task for goodness sake okay happy new year everyone i've got the hiccups and i'm worried that i will throughout 2021. Good luck me and good luck you. Thanks for listening. Goodbye. Okay, task two. Sculpt the scene on the other side of this wall. Most accurate sculpture wins. You have 15 minutes.

A classic Taskmaster task. As soon as it was announced, I was like, yes, I'm looking forward to this one. Now, here's my first thought about this. The task does not say you can't move the wall yep good point it would have ruined the fun but surely someone should have thought to just pull the wall down ryland tried to bash another hole in it and when he was doing that i thought just bash the whole wall down you'll be able to see exactly what's going on on the other side yeah yeah because again it's a very delicately erected wall i think that yeah i think that's a great shout um this was the first one that i got some of the feelings that greg had got in previous tasks but mine was

in reaction to the firmness of john Hanna's inquisitive hand. I mean, it was empowering. I was genuinely, I was slightly moved. He was so firm and bold in his curiosity. I mean, it didn't pay off. No, it didn't at all. But he put me in mind of an old school policeman searching a shoplifter.

A hundred percent. A hundred percent. Like a 70s, like a life on Mars cop. I'm looking for something to punish you. And if I don't find anything, this will be the punishment enough. Yeah, totally. I can't punish you unless I find something.

So I'm punishing you a bit now, just in the advance of finding anything. Yeah, he definitely had that feel. But then his mind went to an absolutely bizarre place with what he thought he had felt. Yeah, the mask, the superhero mask, the member of the Swiss Guard. That is a classic Taskmaster panic.

He just went on an absolute spiral. Yeah, a member of the Swiss Guard. Again, it's one of them ones that you watch it and think i feel i would have known that's a lollipop man like the clues are there the clues are fairly clear but who knows if i would have gone to a member of the swiss guards in in the moment it makes you wonder what sort of life john hannah's led that he recognizes a lollipop person as a member of the swiss guard like How much time has he spent in Vatican City? Yeah, yeah.

It's a curious one. And what he created was haunting. Beautiful. Well, not as haunting, I would argue, as Krishnan's, who just looked like an evil ghost doctor. An actual ghost. I don't know how he managed to get four points and look like an actual ghost.

Because no wonder he was worried. He said he was scared while he was doing it. If that's what he thought was on the other side of the wall, he should have been shitting his pants. I mean, I'll tell you how he managed to get four points, Ed. Did you see the rest of them? Well, Ryland nailed it. Look, straight out, let's say that, straight out of the game,

Ryland absolutely smashed it. He made him lie on the floor to make the scene more accurate, which I thought was a great move. Beautiful addition. He got quite angry towards the end, trying to get him to reveal the colour of his hat. But Rylan smashed it. And wonderful that at the end he got angry

at him not being able to tell him stuff. He'd done the whole thing and thought for some reason at the end, oh, the hat, that can't be against the rules. You can tell me that, right? Yeah, yeah i mean everyone else's was was pretty awful nicola's uh tiny irish man with the duck uh and the taskmaster sign uh that's a real panic that she just decided to make the taskmaster sign presumably to butter greg up as if to say i know i know what show i'm on yeah yeah i think so um or it could have been that there was an assumption of arrogance that they would have someone stood there holding a Taskmaster sign. Again, I guess a lollipop meant as prevalent as they once were.

I don't think I've seen a lollipop person for years. But they're part of the cultural lexicon, aren't they? But Nicola is the youngest. Maybe they're part of the they're part of the cultural lexicon aren't they maybe maybe the youngest they're less of an irish and but i'm the youngest and how many lollipop people do they have in ireland yeah it's a good point so maybe there was something there that that can be forgiven and again i think it's a valid i i marked nicola higher in my head and i I think it's because I appreciate some pampering. I appreciate the effort of making a Taskmaster sign because it's like, well, there you go. Yeah, that's part of the game, right?

Yeah. Yeah. No, I think she deserved a couple more points maybe. Shirley deserved the one point because that mad decision that she decided she was going to do it on the wall, despite no one telling her that whatsoever. And the mad decision of looking at the amount of Play-Doh on the table,

the decision to do it to scale or life-size. How was it ever going to look good as a life-size? It's madness. madness yeah it deserved I think she was just quite taken with the gloves to be honest and got a little dancing of course one point for Shirley Ballas deservedly two points for Nicola three points

for John Hanna's Swiss Guard baby four points for Krishnan Guru Murthy's haunted doctor and five points for Ryland's old man so that brings us on to the third task build the lot i'm going to read out the full instructions build the largest tower on this set of scales you may not move the scales or tape anything to them and you may not tamper with or block the fan the fan will be on for one minute every other minute at the end of the 10 minutes

your tower must be taller than a wolf and stand by itself for 10 seconds and when alex blows his whistle say you have a good idea that was only for rylan a lot lot to remember. And it was taking place in a rather smart new biodome, which I'm presuming is in there for Series 11. It can't just be for this one off. And it's great. I love it. What a nice addition to the Taskmaster house. It looks lovely, right?

It looks all modern and futuristic. What do you reckon on this task? Is this one of those tasks that you just go safe and simple on the assumption that a lot of people are going to try and be too clever and get disqualified? Because that was my instinct. Because you have to get it over and it has to survive the fan and all this kind of thing,

I was thinking there's a lot of people who are going to bottom out on this one. So maybe just, as John did really, he just kind of found some light things and built. It wasn't that clever. It wasn't that thinking outside the box. But I think there are certain tasks that are like that, right? You have to assume that a lot of people are going to try too hard. Yeah, I think if it has that many instructions on it

and that many attempts to close off caveats, you've just got to do it. And I think, again, Ryland proved that he's seen the show before by constantly trying to think of a different way to interpret light. So he's going, lightest tower, what's the light? Fairy lights, I'll get fairy lights!

But he's spent so long trying to think outside the box he's forgotten the main objective of the task which is to build a tower i love his his performance thinking like he doesn't just go off and think he paces around making big gestures saying what he's trying to think of the lightest tower the lightest tower the lightest tower the lightest tower yeah he i mean it was very funny to watch but an absolutely awful attempt at the task, I'd say. Yeah, it was terrible, wasn't it? There weren't many great attempts. Everyone seemed to have a bit of a nightmare.

And like you say, John Hanna played with a straight bat and that's what did it in the end. Or again, we've gone, as we've highlighted, the two who felt like they've not watched the show, therefore are going to just go a bit more direct, got the five and the four points in this one. They weren't that exciting, but they were a simple build. Totally.

And then Shirley obviously came through with the three points, went pretty straightforward as well. But yeah, Nicola and Rylan trying something too clever came away with nought points. It was hard to see that with Nicola because she'd had a bit of a rough show already. But Rylan was on a roller coaster. Similar to the donut one,

I found it hard to see what the clever thing Nicola was trying was. I was quite confused again. But yeah, Rylan, it wasn't a tower. It wasn't freestanding. No, he basically just decorated the scale like a student bedroom. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, exactly that. Which could be a great task. Yeah. Decorate this set of scales like a student bedroom. Che Guevara poster, Fairy Lights Bosch. I'm trying to work out how I can cheat. I've had a really good idea so the studio task uh this is a two-part studio task you have to select an object first uh

you'd lose a point if you if you selected the same as one of your fellow contestants and these are real points by the way this is always good stuff always good fun when there's that out of your control you have to try and bluff and double bluff and triple bluff it's always it's always amusing even even more difficult as well to get into the heads of your fellow competitors when it's the first and only episode that you're with them yeah yeah 100 so we had two cabbages we had two equilateral triangles uh sadly and ryland was the only one who selected uh in a unique object with the bath blueprints but of course it's not as simple as that part two strike the most balls into the bath with your object if any of your balls touch the taskmaster you lose one actual point you have one minute now they can have they can afford to do this because

it's only one episode they can afford to burn off points and it makes sure it makes sure there's a winner yeah um but let's just straight away talk about nicola trying to hit the ball with the uh with the middle of a triangle that doesn't have a middle mind-blowing absolutely mind-blowing the the techniques of several people in this task were just astounding um you know rylan essentially had a paper baseball bat if he wanted you've got plans that you can just roll up and use it should have been good but it was it was a mess but yeah the repeatedly going back to and and greg shouting the crowd shouting turn it on its side to nicola she's using a triangle a snooker triangle essentially and yeah well what and consistently as well is it on the studio tasks is there more panic is there more that kind of oh my

god there is a lot of panic but of course there was a studio audience when i did it which sort of put a different spin on them like you're intensely doing them but people are cheering you on and there is like some proper noise in the studio and it feels a bit more sort of put a different spin on them. Like you're intensely doing them, but people are cheering you on and there is like some proper noise in the studio and it feels a bit more sort of rowdy. It feels like you're actually playing a sport. Whereas I can't imagine how weird it is doing that to sort of crisp silence in a studio. But it was a very funny studio task.

I look forward to the studio task more and more every week now. I think there's been some brilliant ones as of late as well. And zero points for John Hanna, zero points for Krishna Guru Murthy and zero points for Ryland. I need to flag I think this was one of the few

great injustices in Taskmaster task history because John Hanna was completely right that he was at a huge disadvantage on the hitting Greg thing because he was the only one literally opposite Greg. So it was either going in the bath the hitting Greg thing because he was the only one literally opposite Greg. So it was either going in the bath or hitting Greg,

whereas everyone else was going in the bath or not going in the bath. So his was get points or lose points. It was like a double challenge there. So yeah, I feel like that was... It was an injustice, but I really don't think Greg cares. I think that's the joy of it.

Just sometimes that sort of thing happens and Greg can go, yeah, well, that's the way it is. And again, it'd be a greater injustice if John hadn't started the show by bringing a boppet to a party. No one's going to be too sad about it. Nicola somehow managed to get one ball in, even though she was trying to hit balls with air. And Shirley Ballasas as Greg said the

perfect end to the show two balls uh which which wins the show for Shirley uh I think she she brought everything to it I think she probably deserved a victory and Greg was happy about it 17 points uh for Shirley Ballas there uh Ryland uh a second place which I don't think he would have been happy with Krishishnan with 12 points. Nicola with 10 points and John with 10 points as well. John really hemorrhaging points at the end there. And Nicola very lucky to not be rock bottom. You're in my way.

Nobody else is going to be hitting balls in that direction. I'm at a disadvantage here. Use the side of the triangle. But John had it. That's because I'm the only one that's firing in that fucking direction. Use the side of the triangle! By John Hanna! That's because I'm the only one that's firing. You've got three seconds left. What a fun episode. I really think, and I hope, they keep doing this because it's a really fun way of freshening things up

and having some odd people on. I want them as a treat once a year or twice a year i think the beauty of taskmaster is it's the only kind of panel show as such that has a running score line over episode and i love that it's not all it doesn't get wrapped up in one episode that's one of the overlooked unique things of taskmasters you you want to find out how it all ends. But as one-offs where you're getting people who, as you said, either wouldn't be available for a whole series or maybe you wouldn't be confident would work for a whole series

and things like that, I think it's beautiful. And I think the more... It opens up so many more people because there's so many people who they can probably convince to do one episode but couldn't convince to do a whole series. Pip, thank you so much for coming on the show. As is tradition on the Taskmaster podcast, I will now ask you to rate your experience

on the podcast between one and five points. It's got to be a five-pointer. It's been an absolute joy. And as said, it was the surprise element of the episode as well just made it all the more exciting because i thought i was done with taskmaster for the year i thought i'd had my had my lot and then bang a little treat a little treat a little treat on new year's day uh to kick off what will hopefully be a better year fingers crossed fingers crossed

indeed fingers very much crossed i have so little hope i wanted to end that all positive there but i'm fully aware that that um global viruses have no idea what year it is and and no no they don't know well let's end it there then uh with our special guest scroobius pip saying i have no hope thank you very much for listening. Well, what a great episode that was. So lovely to have a true student of Taskmaster on. Pip really, really knows his stuff. You notice there for every situation he could dip back and find an example from a previous series.

He really, really knows his stuff. So I'm sure we will have him back on the Taskmaster podcast at some point because that's right. We have been extended. We are not going anywhere. We are going back to the beginning. We are starting again. We are starting with episode one,

series one on January 7th. We're kicking that off. We are chatting about each episode of Taskmaster in order. So if you'd like to watch along, I would highly recommend that. As the podcast comes out, watch the episode,

listen to the podcast. I think that'll be a worthy journey to accompany us on. We're going to have amazing special guests from the series. We're going to have big fans of Taskmaster, like Pip. We're going to be chatting to Alex again.

It's all very exciting. So do come back and join us. Episode one, series one of Taskmaster, January 7th, the Taskmaster podcast. Thank you very much. But for now, goodbye and happy new year. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats.

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