Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Ep 123. Hugh Dennis - S9 Ep.4

Episode Date: March 23, 2023

On this week's podcast Ed is joined by TM alumni Hugh Dennis! Hugh returns to the podcast to share his thoughts on all of the S9 contestants and specifically what he made of Ed's efforts. He reveals his love for frozen peas and explains why he would definitely be on a team with David Baddiel. Series 15 of Taskmaster starts on Channel 4 at 9pm on March 30th. The Podcast will be available on all your podcast providers at 10pm! Ed will be be discussing the brand new episode with S14 champ, Dara Ó BriainWatch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterVisit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Every veteran has a story. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance and more. At veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble. I'm the host, you should know that by now. Today we will be talking about Series 9, Episode 4. You should not need any reminding of the line-up on Series 9, but I will take you through it anyway. From left to right, David Baddiel, me, Joe Brand, Katie Wicks, and Rose Matafayo.

It's a vintage series, the best series ever, and everyone on it is so handsome. Anyway, it's going to be a lot of fun to talk to our special guest about this episode. This episode features, I think, one of my proudest moments in all of Taskmaster. So looking forward to chatting about that in particular and just generally catching up with our fantastic guest, Hugh Dennis. Hugh Dennis, of course, was on Series 4 of Taskmaster and he was brilliant on that series. You'll know

him as well from all sorts of things including Mock the Week. Mock the Week, a legendary panel show which is very sadly now finished but Hugh, a very busy boy otherwise looking forward to talking to Hugh about Series 9, Episode 4 of Taskmaster. And also

just before we hear from Hugh, should say that this is the last episode of Series 9 that we'll be talking about because next Thursday it is the start of Series 15 of Taskmaster, the brand new series. So we put a pause on our episodes from the past

and we continue talking about every episode of Series 15 week after week. So Series 15 Episode 1 is on the 30th of March at 9pm on Channel 4. Then at 10pm, hit up your podcast apps because we will be breaking down that episode with a special guest and I'm very happy to say that the special guest to talk about Series 15 Episode 1 is the wonderful Dara O'Brien. So we'll be chatting

to Dara, Series 14 champion about that first episode, about the new line-up, about how he thinks it's going to go, about the individual tasks that's next week, podcast out at 10pm on the 30th of March. But for now, let's talk to Hugh Dennis about Series 9, Episode 4. Welcome back, Hugh, to the Taskmaster Podcast. Thank you very much indeed. It's lovely to be here.

It's a delight to have you back. It's a delight to have you back. It's been almost two years since you were last on the taskmaster well you know i haven't had much time now and what the week's been cancelled we're having you on every week now yeah yeah that'll be good can i say i know but i'm not meant to say this at all ed but can i just say how magnificent you were in this particular episode. Thank you so much. It must be slightly difficult discussing the series that you yourself

were in. Yeah so it has been tough talking about myself but then also it's been remarkably fun at times talking about myself and both ways worry me. Both feelings worry me but that's why we get people like you on Hugh so you can talk about me and other people instead yeah and I'm very

happy to talk about you because can I say I thought you were magnificent through the whole of the episode that I saw thank you Hugh's gonna say that a lot going through and even if two of your ideas were roughly the same if I might say so okay Okay. But we'll get to that. We'll get to that. We'll get to that. Yeah. If you were on Series 9, Hugh, now that's a big if, but if you were on Series 9,

and obviously you have to be on a team in Taskmaster, when in your series you're on a team with Mel Gedroyk. Yeah. But whose team would you want to be on? Who would you want to be in a team with on this series, Series 9? Well, I know who I would have been put with. I would have been put with Dave Baddiel. So we could have, you know, we'd be the almost retired members of the task.

That's how it seems to work. It's divided up by age group, isn't it? Quite often. Slightly ageist, in fact, if I might say so. Yes, very ageistist but it always works it always works as an idea because as david said in the first team task they showed in this series why have you set us to old person music so there's like a compilation and uh in in their tasks his and joe's tasks it was like boom boom boom boom like proper old person music yeah yeah

which is a bit because we're not actually that much older than greg if to be honest no very true very true um but you know he's uh constantly young spirit and he's in charge so he doesn't have to exactly yeah but i would have been with david and i have named david for since he was 18 i think so uh which is about five or six years now. Yeah, so you've got an inbuilt chemistry. Do you think it would have gone well, you and David on a team? No, no.

Bearing in mind you, David was a terrible contestant in terms of how well he did. Yeah. Obviously a very entertaining contestant. And you were better, I'd say, than David, but together, do you think you would have sunk down to his level or do you think you would have done better? I'm slightly worried by the, I would say you were better i'd say than david but together do you think you would have sunk down to his level or do you think i'm slightly worried by the i would say you were

better than david well i would say the stats definitely was better than the stats of where we ended up yes yeah i think so probably i mean in a way he's very sort of um he is if i might say so on all the various i've done various documentaries with David. He is an enormously impractical man. But I don't think people knew this. Lovely, lovely, lovely man. Very good mate of mine. But enormously impractical.

But I don't think people knew this before Taskmaster. Because I think sometimes the perception of people is if they're sort of intelligent and, you know, they put their intelligence, they wear their intelligence on their sleeve, as David does. He's a very clever man, incredible writer. Then they assume that intelligence will extend throughout their lives and everything they do. But you knew already David Baddiel, impractical. but you knew already David Baddiel, Impractical. Let's get on with talking about the episode then. Let's talk about the prize task,

the best thing to celebrate with on a stage. Now, prize tasks, it's got to be said, Hugh, were not your strength on your series. No, no. Last time you were on the podcast, we talked about your cloud subscription yeah which that's what that sounds like storage subscriptions maybe you were the inspiration for the cloud it's the cloud appreciation society is what you're taking the piss mercilessly out of me for did you and i maintain that clouds are very interesting

things yeah and lovely to look at. But I think Greg spotted a weakness in your prize task. He enjoyed picking on you for those. Every night he enjoyed that. Every single night. What were your other prize tasks that you were particularly proud of that you felt like Greg didn't give? Well, I had two.

And admittedly, this is a bit... It was a bit of shit. It was... I took a loser's medal that I had got for playing football. Yeah. And he just said, why would you bring a loser's medal? Because I haven't got a winner's medal. That's, that's why. I've got to bring a medal.

I came second. You know, there's that thing. I almost felt slightly sorry for, like, Tim Henman when he was playing tennis, right? That you either have to be world number one or you're shit. He was better than over 5 billion people at tennis. Yeah. So you should have got a medal for that, shouldn't you?

Yeah. Are you suggesting we rank the entire world on their tennis ability? The rankings should be from 1 to whatever we're at now, 7 billion no I don't think that would be a ludicrous thing to do I think the top 100 works

well enough but I just think he was the 6th best tennis player in the world of several billion people. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I can see it's still raw. In a way that you are the preeminent podcaster in the world.

Yeah, that's true. Out of six billion people, yeah. Yeah. And I have ranked everyone in the world on their podcasting ability, and I'm doing pretty well. Let's talk about this one, though. It was best thing to celebrate with on a stage. Let's talk about this one, though. It was best thing to celebrate with on a stage. Let's talk about mine first,

because I got the five points here. I think it's the first time I got five points for my prize task in the series. And I was a little bit... The first three hadn't been that good, I don't think, so I was a bit vulnerable. I was a bit nervous about how it was going to go down. But I should have been fine.

I brought in the confetti cannon party pants, which is was a pair of boxer shorts of course with a confetti cannon coming out of the groin in a phallic way did you enjoy this one Hugh from me very much I very much enjoyed it I laughed out loud um did we get to see the cannon explode yeah right at the end of the episode uh Rose Malfefe uh wins the episode and she goes up to celebrate with all her things on a stage because obviously that was the idea yeah of the prize and also what you have to do at the end of an episode uh anyway and she uh she popped behind the the mannequin and let rip with the confetti cannon it was pretty impressive well i you know while i was watching that and this isn't all about me i I was thinking while I was watching this that surely the best thing to celebrate with

on a stage would be a BAFTA. Which none of us have ever won apart from Greg and Alex. Yes. Haven't they? Yeah. But would they let you bring in their BAFTA? Exactly. So I would have found that very difficult because I would have been Yeah, but would they let you? Would they let you bring in their BAFTA? Yeah, exactly. So I would have found that very difficult because I would have been consumed by bitterness for that whole bit. But no, I thought yours was by a long way the best, largely because erect penises are always funny. Correct. Aren't funny. Correct.

Aren't they? Correct. Especially if they fire confetti. I thought that was interesting. I think we all wish that ours did that in real life. Yeah. Yeah. Or the Swiss Army penis, which you could also get.

If your penis was Swiss Army Q, which of the Swiss Army knife tools would you want within the penis? Well, the one for getting the stones out of horses' hooves, I think. Yeah, I mean, you don't want to be caught in a stable doing that, but I suppose it would be useful day to day. It would be quite a useful thing, I think. But this is my point about your your choice here that I didn't think the um confetti cannon party pants was that far away from the squirting lady's nipple that's true that's true pretty much the same thing isn't it it's a it is a funny body part that fires yes yeah well we didn't

know what order the task would be shown and we obviously didn't know when the prize tasks were coming up or when the tasks were coming up so it wasn't you know this is not a theme that runs through the whole series here is what i'm saying but more worryingly it's clearly a theme that runs through your head yes yeah yeah i had well then that was a theme that's actually not been pointed out to me before but there we go sort of uh you know um it's all ejaculate isn't it i suppose um but then uh quite a few times i use there's a baby's head in the first episode i make a clay baby there's a lot of sort of clearly i i want i want a child and then also um i'm you know fascinated with everything below the belt. It's pretty damning. It's pretty obvious.

Yeah. You don't even have to be a Freudian analyst to work that out. It's just writ large, isn't it? We should get an analyst on this show, actually, to work all this stuff out. The confetti can and party pants. There was quite a lot of discussion in the studio, I seem to remember, that was being edited out about which way I'd set it up to fire the confetti cannon party pants there was quite a lot of discussion in the studio I seem to remember that was being edited out about which way I'd set it up to fire the confetti as if I would have presented that as a confetti cannon pointing towards my groin where I twisted it and it

fired the confetti directly into my crotch what into well yeah or into your testicles, presumably. Yeah, it would be my testicles and penis. If the tube is connected in the right way. Yeah, yeah. Which would seem less celebratory, I think. Yeah, I think, you know, that one would just seem weird. Yeah. Whereas this, the one I actually went with, is perfectly normal. Yeah, perfectly acceptable. Yeah, and genuinely rather inspired. Made me laugh a lot.

Although, under what circumstances would you use that? I don't really know. What would you be celebrating? Well, I guess winning a Taskmaster episode, winning a BAFTA. I suppose I could wear them to the BAFTAs in the hope that I could go up, collect my BAFTA, and then off my confetti can and party pants. It'd probably work quite well, I think. Would you worry, you know, when you go to those things,

there's a high level of security and you're patted down by security staff. Would you mind that if they found the, you know, the inside of a, what is it? It's like a massive smarty tube effect, isn't it? I guess I'd fold it down my leg and then when they were patting me down, say, I'm blessed.

And they'd say, what with a cardboard penis? And I'd say, it's a prosthetic, please don't ask any more questions. Yeah, and how do you fire it, in fact? That's the other thing that was never really discussed. Was there a string? No, it's the same as I fire my actual penis. You get two hands and just twist it round.

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the bottom twists and then, you know, it explodes at the end. Beautiful. But I never got to have a go on it. That's the tragic thing. It was Rosie who got to have a go on it. Yeah.

Speaking of Rose, Rose brought in all the materials required for a ribbon cutting ceremony. go on it that's the tragic thing it was rosey got to have a go on it um yeah speaking of rose um rose brought in uh all the materials required for a ribbon cutting ceremony would you would you say this is a way of celebrating on stage hue no that's the way of opening yes thing yeah isn't it yeah i think so i do like the idea of it i'd love to use those big scissors to cut a ribbon have you you must have opened something here you must have opened something yeah oh god yeah what have you opened I've um well I've turned on two different sets of Christmas lights I didn't have to have you done that no no no I'm excited for you not even at home not on your tree oh yeah actually no my wife does that I don't think I'm even allowed to do that at home no No, I've done them in, I did them in Kettering.

Yes. But weirdly, it was during COVID and I had to do them on Zoom. So was there a button that you pressed and you just said now? Yeah, no, I had to pretend. Like anyone would have believed that I had a button in my living room that connected to Kettering. Oh, it's a miracle. And years before, Steve Punt and I did a joke about Kidderminster,

as a result of which we were invited to Kidderminster to turn on their Christmas lights. Wow. So you've only turned on Christmas lights in places that begin with K. Yeah. That's one of the stipulations. Didn't Lindsay Lohan say that she would come and turn on the Kettering Christmas lights? Do you remember that happening? I don't remember that. I remember Acaster did them.

Yes, of course. Well, yourself and Acaster, Kettering boys. Yeah, well, sort of. I mean, this is the other slightly odd thing about Kettering in that I am certainly in Wikipedia I am a Kettering boy but I left when I was three months old. I have literally no memory of Kettering at all. You packed your little bag and you were off. Well I didn't pack it, I was three months old someone packed my bag for me. You're a very competent man, I can I was three months old. Someone packed my bag for me. You're a very competent man. I can imagine you three months old packing your little suitcase. Yeah, I know that James has done it, obviously. But I think in terms of celebs from Kettering, they're really grasping at straws now.

So I think the fact that you were there for the first three months of your life is probably good enough to turn on the Christmas light. No, you're right. Cutting a ribbon between two... So this was an interesting thing to me. It was... She claimed those things, the metal things, were called staunchions. And David corrected her to

say they were stanchions. And I don't think they were either. I think they were just metal posts metal parts that isn't what a stanchion is is it what is it i mean let's say we can google it right now let's google it look up stanchion because yeah that that was interesting that that that conversation was left in yeah stanchions stanchions and rope barriers okay no all right david's right but he's Stanchions and rope barriers.

Oh, okay. No, all right. David's right. But he's very clever, David. Yes, he is. He uses words all the time. But practically, he could recognise and name a stanchion, but he would then immediately trip over it in his trousers. He wouldn't be able to tie the ribbon.

I mean, he just wouldn't be able to do that. So it was two points for Rose, because I don't think it, whilst it being an exciting prize I don't feel like it was necessarily the best thing to celebrate with on a stage Katie Wicks brought in a candy floss machine now this I mean this is a Katie very offbeat prizes a lot of the time and often she makes them this is one she hasn't made but I don't think anyone would associate this with celebrating on a stage but the way she put it the the way she sold it, I'm into it, Hugh. How would you feel about this?

Well, I've never been a big candy floss fan myself because there's no way of not being sticky at the end of it. Yeah, that's true. I don't enjoy that at all. That's true. You never have. You're a man who, you're a neat man. You're a clean man.

Yes. Walking around with a walking around with a candy floss walking i have quite a high level of personal hygiene yes yeah and you don't like sticky hands or sticky face no and also it's got i think i have celebrated with candy floss because i think you know at fairgrounds and stuff it's quite often you know if you're not getting the massive teddy bear yeah which who would want a massive teddy bear you quite often get a consumable like uh candy floss don't you yeah you do but i i am i am aware that they do make you i mean look can i'll say this now as a type 1 diabetic candy floss is an absolute waste of time. You just can't. You can't.

Yeah, it's just, yeah. I mean, I could give it a go, but it would ruin my night, quite frankly. So I'm not going anywhere near it. Well, it's not a waste of time then, is it? It is a destroyer of time. It's a destroyer of time, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it would eat up my time and, as such, waste it.

But I want to use one of the machines. I've never had a go on a candy floss machine. I think they're magic, Hugh. Have you ever used a candy floss machine? A floss machine? Candy floss? Oh, no, no, you're going to have to leave that in, Daisy. Flush?

Have you ever used a candy floss machine, Hugh? No, I've seen them. I mean, I've never, you know, they're basically just swirling sugar around in straits aren't they but then how do how do they turn into strands well it gets melted and then it's uh whizzed around that high temperature isn't it i mean i guess but how does that work i don't even understand that why is it pink well they put pink coloring in it it's not difficult mate i didn't realize you'd speak your life working in these places do you look at your clothes you're wearing and go my god this is made

of wool how do they get that right that fiber kind of you've seen you joke but yeah do they make cotton i do i do think that a lot of the time. On my Radio X show, we have a feature called What Do I Not Know What It Is? where we ask people, what do you not know what it is? Like basic things that you see every day. Stantions, for example. Stantions. But then when you think about them, you don't know what they are.

For instance, mirrors, wind. And candy floss is definitely going to be my next one. Hang on a second. Spoolback. Yeah. Mirrors. Yeah. What are mirrors?

What do you mean? Well, what are mirrors? What are mirrors? Yeah. Well, I don't even understand the question. Well, exactly. How do they work? Yeah, how do they work and what are they?

Well, they're sheets of glass with silver painted on the back of them. Right, but you can see yourself in them. Yeah. Just because the light reflects from, it goes from you to the mirror and back to you. Yeah, all right. What's wind? Wind? I'll tell you what wind is. Wind is the difference between the high pressure and low pressure in the atmosphere you've just talked yourself out of a guest slot on our radio show bad luck you so Katie got two points for the candy floss machine um David Baddiel this is another odd one a mobility scooter with a panel on the side to make it look like a bus so I think it's

supposed to be like a I guess a foot when a football team's won a trophy, they parade around town holding the trophy on the top level of a bus. This is like a shrunken down version of it. Well, my immediate reaction to that was, if you're going to object to being portrayed as the elderly one on the show, why have your celebratory item as a mobility scooter

yeah it's really strange and then try and regain reattach youth to it by turning it into a sort of you know it was like a trunky wasn't it effectively that's what it was yeah yeah a motorized trunky i mean i obviously thought this was absolutely ridiculous and a very odd thing to choose. But when I saw Rose on it at the end, I was like, I'd really like a go on that. That's brilliant. I'd really like that. So it's actually probably a much better prize. But a lot of David's prizes have been quite straight to the point, quite straightforward and effective. So for most stressful thing, he brought an empty toilet roll tube, which is great.

It's like, yeah, bang, straight there. We've all been there. We know what you're talking about. But this one, a little bit more intricate, and probably that's why it didn't get him the full five. Well, yours was the only one, and I'm not blowing wind up your posterior here, but yours was the only one associated with the celebration think yeah i think

because yeah and then joe as well brought in a cut out of uh andy robinson who is a wonderful comedian a wonderful man uh and supports joe on tour but a card a cardboard cut out of andy robinson doesn't feel like i think i guess it was representing him right so the idea being but i don't think Joe does shows and then brings a support act out at the end and then they sort of jump around celebrating. So I don't know what she meant. I don't think I've ever celebrated at the end of a show.

No, I just get in the car and go. You get in the car, you go, oh, I think I got away with that one. Exactly. Off you go. I think it was the phrasing of the question, wasn't it? Through everyone slightly. Because it wasn't altogether clear what it meant.

Yeah, I guess what they were going for is at the end of this episode of Taskmaster, someone will go up and celebrate with these things. You need to pick something that will look good when they do that which is I think why I picked the confetti but I think maybe that would have been too complicated a sentence to launch at people but yeah

that's what they went with I've never really understood confetti either actually if I'm honest have you? You don't know what it is? No I know precisely what it is Ed I'm never coming on your Radio X bit. It is small bits of coloured paper, isn't it? Yeah, that's true.

But why? I don't know if it happens in other countries in the world. It seems like a very sort of British thing, isn't it? I mean, you know, exploding champagne corks or something like that, but throwing cut-up paper on people seems a very peculiar thing. I guess it looks good in photos a lot of the time if you get a big sort of cloud of confetti in a photo, but I had confetti...

Well, sorry, I should say I wanted confetti at our wedding and our venue wouldn't let us. Yeah, because it's very messy isn't it if you say well I'll bring in a Dyson or a Henry the Hoover and I'll do it straight after for you they might have let you yeah but that wouldn't be celebratory would yeah it kills the mood if you if you're immediately having to lift your feet up in in the church or wherever it wasn't a church I, I don't know why I said that. Godless people, we're godless people. So it's five points for me, four points for Joe, three points for David and two points for both Katie and Rose.

I think it just adds a certain amount of ceremony to it. Like if you're opening a new library, it's like it's not a celebration until you've got a ribbon and a big old pair of scissors. Listen, it's supposed to be the best thing to celebrate with on stage. Yeah. Why am I opening a fucking library? Oh, you've got to celebrate opening a library.

You've got to celebrate opening another library. Are we erecting a stage for me to go and open a library? OK, well, you know, chill out. Let's talk about task one, Hugh. The similar idea from me. make the most striking water feature you have 20 minutes your time starts now uh yes now you mention it i do i i will say that it's it's more stuff coming out of a body part from me straight away yeah at this point were you worried that all of my tasks were going to end like that somehow? Not, well, I thought the board game, you might be able to,

you'd probably do something with something explosive. Yeah. But I wasn't really. What I was mostly interested in was the fact that in the shed, there were two funnels, which were exactly the same, which led me to think that somewhere in alex's head he'd been going i hope someone does a pair of breasts well if it wasn't if it wasn't alex's head trust me when what would have been in his head was i hope ed does a pair of breasts because he knows me so he knows that that's the

sort of route one basic thing that i would do um but there's you know there's plenty in that shed isn't there it's loads and loads of treasure troves in there yeah yeah but did you um were you upset you couldn't get it to come out of both yeah we tried for a long time and i'm not i'm not engineering minded so i couldn't really work out how I could do that, really, without it just being a dribble from both, as I say. Were you allowed to send out for stuff in that episode? No, it was 20 minutes, and then we had to just do it. So if we were allowed to send out for stuff,

I guess I could have worked out a way, maybe. You could have gone straight to Homebase and asked for a hose splitter. Does such a thing exist? Oh, God, yeah. See, I wouldn't have even known that. Yeah, no, you can get that. As it was. It's a very standard item.

A hose splitter. That sounds like the sort of thing that a gardener would say to a new apprentice as sort of an induction prank yeah get me a hose splitter and some sky hooks yeah yeah um i was very proud of this you it's lovely to speak to you about this this was probably one of my proudest taskmaster moments i thought it looked absolutely magnificent i was so happy with alex's hair and his lovely tail were you surprised by the distance you achieved yeah in the water yeah yeah i think it's the pressure of it building up in the funnel as well and then it just it god it got some distance on it that breast it really did though didn't yeah i was so happy with it and since then a lot of people

have sent me i think it was might have been in the tape modern there was a piece by someone um and it was like a water feature with the water spraying out of spraying out of a lady's front um but they had both they had both um both breasts had you seen that before i mean what was your i'm imagining of some sort of classical inspiration for your statue. I was thinking, obviously, of the Little Mermaid statue in Copenhagen, that sort of thing. Well, that would be a direct combination of your first task and your second task. Yes, that would be, yeah. That one, wouldn't it?

Because it's not coming out of the nipples there, is it? So there's that. I think just as soon as I imagined the water situation i imagined a mermaid and immediately knew that it was going to have to be alex and i was going to have to pop his top off as david does immediately isn't that odd that me and david both our first thing was get your top off alex yeah i will say that was odd. I was always looking for ways to involve Alex and I think this was the perfect way to do it. Yeah, really lovely.

And when I did one of my tasks where I had to do something surprising, I think it was, and I got a vaulting horse and I went over and over the vaulting horse. Over and over and over it. And I couldn't, I never managed to stand up on the other side of it because i landed on the crash man but i had to borrow alex's vest so do you have like a gym vest or something tucked in the cupboards but no i i'm wearing a vest and it was just a sort of a really sort of like slightly elderly man's vest. I completely forgot about that to ask you. That was so funny that you constantly vaulting over a horse and never quite making it.

No, never made it. I couldn't give up. And I was getting tireder and tireder. I mean, after the first 20, there was no chance I would make it, but I still getting tired and tired I mean after the first 20 there was no chance I would make it but I still threw myself over it madness fantastic but yeah I was very proud of this

Alex was genuinely annoyed during it as well because it was freezing and that water was freezing and it was soaking all the way down into his trousers and also I covered him in tape and he did then have to rip that tape off his back and also I covered him in tape and he did then have to rip rip that tape off his back and it removed quite a lot of hair and left very big red marks but you know in in Taskmaster you've got to do what you've got to do and what I had to do was vaguely torture the man

who'd helped me get a nice job and it was very simple wasn't it where did the uh so you you put the you put the um funnels over each nipple yes and then where did the and they strapped them right round and on strap them around with gaffer tape yeah and then where did the hose emerge how did you just shoved it in the top shoved it in the top shoved it in the top tape down the funnels then could make a tight seal by putting the hose in the top and then and then it all sprayed out so and it built up in a sense it was a very very very simple water feature wasn't it there wasn't much beyond did he strap him to the chair as well i can't remember no i mean he was so cold by that point he couldn't move so he was just strapped in strapped into the the bra and his hair was also unnecessarily taped around his head um so i was very happy with it it got it got five points of course it did it

did and don't you think at the end of all those tasks and i you know i did lots of incredibly messy tasks you never see them being cleared up do you no you guess what happens you cause carnage you slice things with a knife and you get bits of fruit and candy floss everywhere. And you just walk away. You literally just walk away. It's great. That's one of the joys of it, I think. And I did look, I did feel bad.

There was one particular task that didn't make the edit where we had to make a new, a seal for the task. So there was no seal on the wax seal on the task so we had to seal the task in an inventive way and i made a caramel in the kitchen made like sort of praline caramel sort of thing and i thought we worked quite well and i did a bit of sugar work as well to put it on there and alex ate ate it but then there was some i was pouring bits down the sink and stuff and then i went back to the dressing room after I just heard some poor member of production team

having to chip off sugar from the sink, like rock hard sugar. And then I felt bad then when you could hear them actually having to clear it up. It's pretty awful. But you know, as a diabetic, that's a sort of revenge, isn't it? Yeah, I suppose so, yeah.

Good luck. I have a lot of effort dealing with sugar now about time one of you normies did um uh david got four points which i thought was quite generous considering what he does which is getting alex to stand in the bath with his top off david also takes his top off as he points out for absolutely no reason no i've no idea what he did that he then sprays the water through that thing from the kitchen, the plug trap, whatever it is. I don't really know what's going on. He said it was supposed to be like Greek but then there was a sort of

farming theme to it as well. Well, I've never, I mean, I heard him say that as well and I thought, I've never seen a Greek statue or any statue from antiquity where a live man stands next to the statue with a hose? No, no.

I mean, clearly those people wouldn't be there anymore, but you would expect to find some statue, water feature, with a skeleton holding a pipe. Sure, sure. But I guess Alex was to represent the statue, but then I've never even seen a water feature where two topless men are stood next to each other

quite far apart and one of them's in a bath and then, you know, it didn't quite work for me, but it's very funny. No, it was very, very funny, yeah. And very, very wet, I should think. Yeah, poor old Alex.

It's amazing that no one else did this, I think. Listen, he knew, didn't he? When he, he he knows he's a you know he's either tremendous sucker for it quite enjoys it I think what you think enjoys like punishment and stuff well maybe not you know maybe it doesn't feel like punishment getting covered in water and made to strip. Yeah, maybe he enjoys it. Well, even given that, David gets four points. The others, I think, all slightly struggle

by not having Alex involved because I think Rose's is a lovely water feature. She's again screwed by the rain. Every time she had a task outside, it was raining, which I think must cut your creativity down and also make you rush a little bit. And I think this was probably the most commercial water feature. I think people would buy this water feature

with the flowers and the vase and the jug. What did you think of it, Hugh? Would you have it in your garden? No. I'm not a big lover of the water feature, to be honest. No? Although I did at one point live in a house which had an artificial stream, which is a bit isn't it yeah so the water goes down the

stream then it's pumped back to the top of the stream and then it flows down the stream again this is in the garden not like running through your kitchen or anything this is in the garden yeah yeah and I think it's quite calming well sort of quite calming but you're also thinking i mean it's lovely to look at but think of the bill i mean it's pumping it's a long stream it's pumping anyway so um i'm not a not a massive fan of the water feature except some you know places like versailles i can see they look quite nice they're quite nice that's lovely of you to give Versailles quite nice yeah I didn't think the water itself did very much

in Rose's one did it? no I mean it was actually coming out of the jug into the boot so you could see a stream of water whereas in comparison to say Katie's there was loads of water because I mean I loved Katie's piggy bank

putting the hose under and then declaring that the pig was going to go into bloody space and then this tiny this tiny it just didn't it didn't go into space that is a big that's a big promise a big claim and as greg said you could hear her working away in the shed and then coming out with a piggy bank with a hole in it and it just it sort of just fizzled out the top i think she she hadn't, she would have benefited from your knowledge of putting some sort of seal on the base of the piggy bank. I think because gravity was against her there, wasn't it? Because I think the main feature of the water

was it falling out the bottom of the pig. Yes. Rather than firing out the hole in the top of the pig. And nobody wants that in their garden, do they? A pig with water falling out of its bottom. That's not a good water feature. I think it would have been better if the pig had been on its side, actually, and then it would have kind of shot. Nobody wants that in their garden, do they? A pig with water falling out of its bottom. That's not a good water feature. I think it would have been better if the pig had been on its side, actually,

and then it would have kind of shot. But I think there is a market for lawn sprinklers in the shape of pigs. I think you could do quite well. Yeah, that's pretty good. That's good. Maybe we should look into that. It was reminiscent. You probably won't have seen this. In Series 8, Hugh, they had to make volcanoes

and Ian Sterling really picked up his volcano in the same way that Katie bigs up the piggy bank, saying, oh, this is going to be great. And then it's just this tiny little sort of at the top. And it's very disappointing. How do people get the magma? How was that achieved? Well, a lot of people were using sort of Mentos and Diet Coke

to get that sort of big spray up. But yeah, that was a very tricky task, and it just did not go well for Ian. But very funny. Always funny when things go wrong in that way. So Katie gets one point, which was, I think, harsh. Joe gets two points. Rose gets three points. Rose gets three points.

David gets four points. And I get five points, meaning I'm on perfect points so far. It can only go wrong from here. Yeah, that's going to happen, mate. Strap in, you're a mermaid. Can you do the faraway look? Put that on your head. That's disappointing.

Shit. That's kind of better. What do you want me to do? Just look at the faraway eyes. The sea, the sea, the waves. I don't know why I've got my top off. So here's how it's going to go. You're going to spray some water out your mouth

when I give it to you, and then you're going to sing... HE SINGS OK. Go. Can I give it to you and then you're gonna sing? Oh Okay Yay the crowns roar Krails roar. Perfect. Thank you, Alex. Come on.

Cheers, mate. Thanks. Every veteran has a story. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more at veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more. At veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. It's hockey season, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats.

Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials.

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You have one hour. Your time starts now. So here's what I want to say, Hugh. There was a big argument in the studio because Greg was saying, oh, there needs to be a spring system on the buckaroo if you're doing this. But surely bringing a game to life means that I can be the donkey and i can decide

when to when to kick out yeah yeah no i agree with you my my objection to the whole thing is as far as i remember buckaroo wasn't a board game interesting was it there was no board anywhere in buckaroo but isn't it the same with Operation? Yeah. I mean, none. It was very clearly stated these had to be board games. Yeah. And they weren't.

Buckaroo's not a board game, is it? Well, I remember doing, Buckaroo was a great game. I remember, you know, years and years ago doing a sort of a parody Buckaroo advert. It was on all the time about going, you know years and years ago doing a sort of a parody buckaroo advert it was on all the time about going you know you never know what's gonna make buckaroo shit himself but it wasn't a board game you know what it does put more and more on it and then it flipped up but yeah you're not moving a piece around the board are you no it's a game that's absolutely destroyed me here i hadn't even thought about that neither is operation we neither neither team did it right operation was

no no i never actually played operation so i was i don't know quite how you do it it's it was literally like um the patient a picture of a man who was ill and then the nose was a little red light and then all the things were inside his body but you could see them but the hole you had to get them out of was the same shape as the object so you had these tweezers and if you hit the side, the metal

side with the tweezers then his nose would buzz and you wouldn't be able to get the thing then so I think David and Joe did quite a good representation of it. And also, there is no greater representation of David Steinmont's Taskmaster than him hitting himself so hard in the face that his brain falls out. No, that was...

Absolutely bang on. That was very funny. That's what he does every episode. Naked. Well, not entirely naked. Again, yeah. Just in his pants. Another, you know, my theme is exploding appendages.

And David's is popping his top off in this episode. He loves it. And his trousers in that one. Yeah. Is that something you've, because, you know, you've known him for a long time. I play football with him most weeks. So I've seen quite a lot of David. Does he always pop his top off?

Well, he does at the end of the game clearly at the beginning would he say score a goal and then pop his top off in celebration no because that's illegal you get a yellow card

don't you you're not allowed to do it hang on what game are you playing where they're sticking to the rules that much well we're not but you know

in the way that all blokes do when they play football, we do like to think we could have been professional. Yeah. And, you know, therefore we stick to those rules. Is it, now, forgive me, Hugh, for the question, is it proper football or is it walking football like you see on the Barclays adverts?

Well, it is proper football. Yeah. Although there aren't as many players it's uh eight aside oh okay that's a particular game it's inside as well which any other any other famous names in the kickabout i can't name them now oh go on no we've got we sign a vow of secrecy well you've already given away the I know I know but it's been you know people know that I play football

with David I think and have done for years now I just want to guess who else is there can you

tell us if there are any more comedians in the team yes okay I'm going to think on that and then I'm going to think on that and then I'm going to guess I'm going to guess at the end of the episode

Can't wait for that I thought Buckaroo was great, apart from the fact it's not a board game, but neither is Operation, so we're just going to have to forget that for now And I thought theirs was great to be fair, I really like the light and the way they did it and I like that there was a real kidney on David I thought theirs was great to be fair i really i like the the the light and the way they did it and i like that there was a real kidney on david i thought i thought it was fantastic i thought

it was very well realized um but then i thought buckaroo was as well they sort of edited it in the style of the advert katie and rose is probably the most i laughed during the entire task filming process because katie and rose were being so funny doing the different sort of cowboy characters and saying oh someone's going fishing and putting a net in and then Katie saying here comes the wine rack absolutely destroyed me yeah but you were very willing to be the um you know the donkey or whatever it is a horse it's a donkey i was very willing to be the donkey yes i also thought that if i said i don't want to be the donkey one of i i made one of the women be the donkey it would probably reflect badly on me overall so i really i really really laughed

during all of that which isn't good for a buckaroo donkey because you should be really still and then suddenly kick out rather than constantly shivering with laughter as they add more and more accoutrements to you. Three points each anyway, rendering the whole task pointless. Yeah. Although really good fun to do. A lot of fun. You can see how excited we were when the task came up. Yeah.

I think for a while we were toying with Cluedo. I thought Cluedo might be good using all the rooms of the house and working out who'd killed Alex, but then I think the decision was... But then you dismissed that, presumably because it was a board game. Yes, it was too close to what we were actually supposed to do. There aren't actually that

many board games that you could do an exciting real life decision. No, Mousetrap was another one we thought about. Which again, isn't a board game. Mousetrap was another one we thought about. Which, again, isn't a board game. Mousetrap's a board game. Is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you go round the board. Where's the board?

Oh, do you? That's what everything's on, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on, I'm going to look up Mousetrap now. Sure it was a board game. Is Steve Punt on the team? What, playing football? No. No, no.

I have played football with him, though, for about half an hour before he broke his wrist oh dear hang on then, oh no you're right you're not wrong I don't know why I thought you were, what might be wrong yeah I must have struck the board game do you think of it as a board game though

yeah that's what I said ok that's why you said it's a board game yeah I see it takes me, it takes me longer and longer to understand things. I'm not worried about it.

Frank Skinner, is he on the team? No. No. I don't like keeping drawing a distinction between the two age groups. But it does fascinate me

that the three younger people were, like, getting all excited, listing game after game after game, and the first thing that David mentions is a game that no-one's heard of about the Scourge of the Nuts. Yeah. Operation Zaylurver. It was a war game in which the Nazis invaded Britain, or, as a Jew, it was a nightmare, that I've answered.

I'm not entirely sure. Amazing that you knew Operation Zaylover but couldn't remember the name of Operation. Task 3, part 1A say a letter of the alphabet. Part 1B, part 1B was for me Hugh because I was the only one who said a letter of the alphabet and I just want people to know now

I finally, finally get to say this. I wasn't trying to make a stupid joke I genuinely panicked and I didn't know what to do so you repeated the question yes say a letter of the alphabet and I said a letter of the alphabet because I thought that's what he wanted me to say I wasn't doing a dad joke but I can see why he had that extra task in his pocket for people again they know they're like musicians they know exactly what you're going to do at every point. Would you have said a letter of the alphabet or would you have just picked a letter? Well, I think in all the tasks I did,

I tried to read some weird new meaning into the question. So I think it's quite likely I would have said a letter of the alphabet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we're a similar energy. But part two, of course letter of the alphabet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're a similar energy. But part two, of course, is the most important bit. Put the most things beginning with the letter you just said on this tray.

The tray may not leave Alex and Alex may not leave the lab. Most things beginning with the letter you just said on the tray in five minutes from now wins. There's no way around this, Hugh. You were always looking for hacks. You were looking for little cheats you could do. I don't think There's no way around this, Hugh. You were always looking for hacks. You were looking for little cheats you could do. I don't think there's any way around this. I think you just have to get as many things beginning with your letter onto the train.

Yeah, okay. Do you have any instincts as to what letter you might have picked? I think I would have gone for B, myself. Yeah. Just so in a really arsey way, I could have gone bacteria and how do you think that would have

gone down with Greg? I don't know very badly I imagine it would have been a cloud appreciation society moment I think for that but you would have I would have argued I think you would have won yeah

but you'd have to measure them I i think you would have won yeah yeah i mean but you'd have to measure them i don't know how but you know how one would do that i guess you get there's probably stats on how much bacteria there are on things right and individual bacteria probably on like fairy adverts and stuff per square inch per square inch yeah i mean there's an advert at the moment which goes i think it's for colgate or something, it goes, millions of bacteria are hiding in your mouth. And you go, they're not. They're just in your mouth. It's like, when you're not looking for them,

they're going to come out and go somewhere else. They're not. Hugh will be using this. They're just in your mouth. Anyway. Hugh will be using this episode, by the way, to audition to do the yeah the few voiceovers in britain that he doesn't already do yeah

um no i think i would think i would have gone for b i certainly wouldn't have gone for q i don't think well i don't know what david was thinking it's like he just naturally makes life difficult for himself i think and saying q but you don't know why you're picking the letter so it might have worked out that Q was the perfect letter to pick. I don't know what the task would be that made Q the perfect letter, but it might have worked out for him. But he then only gets

one thing beginning with Q and that's only because Greg lets him have coffee. Coffee. Yeah. Yeah. Although there are packets of Quavers in the kitchen. Yeah, but David'sid's never gonna spot that is he it's upsetting yeah um but i struggled enough with d to be honest because i didn't even get over 100 things and i and a lot of them i was really really trying my luck i like dinner plates

disposable gloves um dairy they let me have all of that but obviously they didn't let me have drinks receptacles which i tried to have gone you know your kitchen smashed stuff up and gone detritus i think you can have a million to that but do you have bits of detritus would you say oh there's five detriti over there detritus no you're right it would just be one lot of detritus yeah yeah covered the whole tray and then yeah absolutely um it's a surprisingly entertaining task to watch for something so silly and so trivial but also when joe's involved anything like this everyone else running back and forth joe just goes out for

the full time and then walks back in with a few things and just bungs them on the tray yeah always she didn't seem very competitive through the entire thing did she yeah she's not competitive at all um she has a lovely time she's absolutely hilarious but she could not give a shit which you need that energy i think you need that energy on taskmaster on your series i thought i felt like you were pretty competitive on your series. Yeah, no, I am secretly, perhaps not so secretly, quite competitive. But were you the most competitive? Who else was on your series?

Well, Noel was on one of ours. And I suspect he is competitive, but he disguises it incredibly well. Very well. Very, very, very charming, lovely way. Yes. No, I don't think there was anyone enormously competitive. No, I think you're right, you know, because it's Lolly and Mel and Joe, right?

So, yeah, I just don't, I think... I think Joe's quite competitive thing yeah because as I think I told you in the last time I did this podcast I was doing a rehearsal somewhere in East London and this little kid came up to me he turned out to be I think it was his nephew or something yeah Joe's nephew and he came up to me and said hi you she does yeah I am said Joe's nephew and he came up to me and said hi, are you Hugh Dennis? I said yeah I am he said Joe's going to destroy you

oh that is fantastic yeah yeah and you weren't expecting you weren't expecting any of that sort of thing you didn't think it was going to be competitive you just thought it would be a lovely TV show then you've got Joe set his urchin minions after you yeah it did I was expecting

can I have a selfie Joe's going to destroy you absolutely amazing well this Joe here Joe Brand still manages to get three points because me and David screw it up royally. Katie and Rose, excellent job from them.

Katie goes with B, of course, brings biscuits, birthday candles, bananas, nearly her bra, but Alex gets shy. 168 things. But Rose, I mean, look, this is a great performance from Rose. It's the peas that really do the work here 306 things and there's a hell of a lot but she still gets cross doesn't

she because she doesn't think she's clearly not aware how many peas there are yeah because when you when i looked at it at the start i thought i know she's definitely won that yeah yeah that's a whole nobody's going to beat that but she she then got very upset, didn't she? With you, I think, because of your... Because I was cheating. You were interpreting the letter D in a very, you know, wide... Yeah, it was a wide D. But no, she does brilliantly,

and also such a stickler for the rules. I love when she puts that tube on and goes, pipe, and then she goes, no, she puts that tube on and goes a pipe and she goes no it's a tube and just takes it away again she really wants to get it right but you're right with peas whenever i see peas i think what there's about 10 or 12 peas there and it's not it's about 500 there are loads of peas in the packet mate yeah aren't there there are loads and loads of them. And I tell you what, if you don't think there are enough peas,

go for a packet of petit pois. More. Yeah, because they're more petite. Because they're smaller. Yeah. How often are you eating peas here, would you say? I genuinely love peas. I do. I would have peas pretty much with,

as a child, they were my go-to vegetable. Yeah. So we had bags and bags and bags of peas. And I, this is taking an unexpected twist, isn't it? I love it. Ed. I love it.

This is why I do this podcast. Yeah. So when I was a kid, I had two sort of secret eating things that i really liked doing one of them was to go and get so this was in the days when you had sort of like you know powdered milk that you added to coffee or something you did like coffee mate or yeah whatever it was all that i used to eat that by the spoon just dry yeah dry? Yeah, just by the spoonful. I mean, it's incredible.

It's like eating polyfiller or something. It just takes all the moisture out of your mouth. But you have to have a little glass of water occasionally. But just literally, just, I would have, you know, packets and packets of powdered milk. I liked it so much. And peas, but more specifically, frozen peas. So I would go to the freezer and just have handfuls of frozen peas.

Oh, my God. Absolutely delicious. So that was your secret little treat, frozen peas. Secret little treat. And if I'm honest, it still is. So you still, would you go, what, in the middle of the night? Or is it like a sort of secret pea eater thing? Are you sneaking down in the middle of the night or is this like a is it like a sort of secret a secret peter thing are you sneaking down in the middle of the night if i'm down in the i'm in the

freezer i quite often have a sneaky handful if i'm cooking p if i'm cooking peas yeah like when my kids were young or something younger there was a lot of peach going on at that point i would uh never did all the peas i'd got out to cook make it into the saucepan i'd have my own little pile of frozen peas your little pea lollipops yeah little pea lollipops yeah oh this is you know this is great this is all good stuff we've got exclusives all over this taskmaster podcast it's perfect um well rose got five points katie got four points three points for joe two points for me this is great. This is all good stuff. We've got exclusives all over this Taskmaster podcast. It's perfect. Well, Rose got five points.

Katie got four points, three points for Joe, two points for me. And of course, one point for David or Quan Quint, as he would say it. So this is a quamra. That's how I pronounce it.

Quenana. Quorange. Quapple. Cape Queja. Queja, I pronounce Queja. But you call it a tape Queja? It's tape Queja, yeah. But beginning with Q Cape Queja. And Queja, I pronounce Queja. But you call it a tape Queja? It's tape Queja, yeah. But beginning with Q. Queja.

Quaple. Another Quaple. Quap. Clock. How do you spell clock? Q-U-O-L-K. C-K. C-K.

C-K. C-U-O... Well, that's how I pronounce it. I know it's spelled C-L-O-C-K, but I pronounced it quok. Actually, that's wrong, isn't it? I spell it like that too. Quaff. Quavy, with a leaf on its head.

Quake-Davis. Qualexhorn. Quow. Queenus. And this is what Americans call quaffy. I think I've won that one. Do you? Yeah.

Your speech sounds better now. I think I've won that one. Well. Live task. Throw your things far, but not too far. Taking it in turns, you must select a thing and throw it beyond the line, but not off the runway. If your thing does not end up in the safe zone,

you are disqualified. If all objects end up in the safe zone, then the disqualified. If all objects end up in the safe zone, that the person who's thrown the thing the shortest distance is disqualified. You may not manipulate your things in any way before throwing them. Last player standing wins. Yeah.

Why did you not realise that your egg was not made of an egg? I don't know. In all honesty. Is it not really quite heavy and feel like it might be made of rubber it's just amazing the brain it's amazing the way the brain can trick you so i hadn't touched it before i chose it so i picked it up to choose it as my thing i was going to throw yeah and i

think in my head i was like it's a real egg so that's just what it told my hand and i didn't notice the weight disparity so I felt confident to throw it because I thought obviously as you can see I'll throw it up in the air and it'll splat down yeah and that's going to be great no you thought it through for a proper egg that was exactly the correct thing but no I've never been more surprised I don't know if you've ever had this surprise before um where you throw an egg up in the air and it bounces what you assume to be a real egg i was i was i thought i i thought yeah i thought it was hallucinating i'd got absolutely mad i couldn't believe it and then

i try and say it's bullshit as if they've tricked me in some way which they haven't they didn't assume that i would think that egg was real it was crazy I'm still livid about that I've still got the egg have you? no I don't chuck it at stuff but let me tell you this Hugh my wife put it amongst our actual eggs and on more than one occasion

I've picked it up thinking it's one of the real eggs so it still happens it still happens how far have you got? have you tried to crack it against the I legs so it still happens it still happens yeah how far have you got have you tried to crack it against them i've boiled it for six minutes you tried to crack it and i found it bounced back onto the kitchen wall yeah we've smashed oh it's happened again but yeah just something about me little fact about me i can't tell the difference between a rear leg and a rubber egg but then katie and david chose the the rubber egg as well and david

started remonstrating with me whilst holding there going why did you not realize it's like david look at what you're holding you're about to make the exact same mistake yeah but he then rolled it didn't he and it didn't work for him because it rolled backwards so that was more surprising i wouldn't have expected that of my egg yes it was very exciting actually watching it roll backwards and then forward over the line and then backwards again. And I remember that moment where he started jumping on the stage

and Alex was genuinely terrified because it's not built for a human's weight. So when he was jumping on and down, they thought, we're going to injure David in the fourth episode of the series. We'd also seen David without his shirt on, hadn't we? So we knew what the danger was.

What he was packing. But yeah, obviously bad stuff from all of us who picked the eggs. Me, David and Katie. All of us go out in the first round, meaning we get one point. It was down to Rose and Joe. Rose, again, gives way

more of a shit than Joe. The noodle throw was excellent and then the rice grain was textbook and then Joe when she has to throw the noodle literally just hoys it off the end of the stage to make the episode over quicker I think yeah well that was sort of the but that was quite effortful that throw

yeah it was a big throw but it was too big a throw meaning Rose wins the episode because she nicks it off me at the last second if that egg lost me this episode hugh and i still i'm still annoyed about that even though i won the series listen you've won yeah that's what i was gonna say you've gotta let that go because you won the series thank you thank you hugh and what did you think you get to go on champion of champions yeah you know future programs well have future programmes. I've done it already. I was terrible.

And Hugh, what did you think of me on this episode? Well, I think our time is up, isn't it? We don't know anyone who's on the football team. No, I thought you were very good because you have... Yeah, you think, I don't know, this sounds like I'm going to have to give you a school report or something. Yes, I'm going to ask you to score. Your attitude was great. I think you learnt from your mistakes as you went on.

Thank you. You show enthusiasm. You're very polite. Thank you. You speak well in public. Thank you. You speak well in public. Thank you. Yeah. Well,

I appreciate all of that. And of course, you at this point in the podcast, we always ask our guests to rate their experience on the taskmaster podcast between one and five points in the style of the taskmaster. In this, what, what,

like, well, what do you mean? The point scoring. I mean mean you've done this before you for fuck's sake i have what do i just give i give it five all right cheers yeah good thank you so much you're beautiful you've been a wonderful guest as always welcome back anytime uh you've been absolutely brilliant thank you very much and you go and have yourself a nice handful of frozen peas as a well done gift yeah well it won't be a gift really will it because i've already bought them and they're my

peas treat a well-known treat treat i'll go with treat yeah go and have a little frozen treat thank you very much you hey Thank you so much to Hugh for coming on. Lovely to chat to Hugh. Lovely to catch up. And we got some pretty good celebrity exclusives there. We didn't find out who's on his football team, but we did find out he eats handfuls of frozen peas. Don't forget that next week,

we will not be talking about Series 9. We're putting a pause on Series 9 because for the next 10 weeks, we will be talking about series 15 of taskmaster as each episode comes out next thursday the 30th of march 9 p.m on channel 4 you can watch the first episode of the new series of taskmaster then come back to your podcast apps at 10 p.m and you can listen to the podcast about that episode and next week the special guest is of course the wonderful dara obrien champion of series 14 we will see you next week be very excited about this series it's excellent see you then bye