Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 125. Kiell Smith-Bynoe - S15 Ep.2

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

On this week's podcast Ed is joined by our first Series 15 contestant, actor and writer Kiell Smith-Bynoe. Kiell shares his thoughts on his fellow contestants and reveals that he is actually VERY competitive. The pair chat about feet fingers, team dynamics and why Kiell enjoyed the musical tasks the most.Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterVisit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Read something online that really hits a nerve. It could be disinformation, specifically targeted for that exact reason. Stop and question the source before you share. Learn more at canada.ca slash disinformation. A message from the Government of Canada. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. I've still got that fresh series feeling. It's Ed Gamble here, feeling good, feeling sparkly, feeling new.

We are talking about Taskmaster Series 15, Episode 2. It's been a great start to the series. Very excited to speak to our special guest today. it's the first contestant we're speaking to we are speaking to the wonderful kyle smith by no absolutely love kyle he's brilliant on taskmaster can't wait to chat to him about this episode about taskmaster in general some occasional sound issues on this due to where kyle was we moved locations a few times it's all in the cut and thrust of recording podcasts remotely it's still a brilliant chat I hope you enjoy it this is Taskmaster series 15 episode 2 with Kyle Smith-Bino. Welcome Kyle to the Taskmaster podcast. Yo. Very very understated reaction from you I came in big energy and uh you've immediately undercut me there you've pulled the rug from my feet i like i like balance you like balance and also you're in

a you're in an office uh and i don't feel like you want to um go too wild on on the energy just in case any potential employers hear you it's the end of the day you know they um they don't need they don't need that they've had me running around here all lunchtime i don't need me carrying on we're very excited to have you on the taskmaster podcast and it's great watching on taskmaster i've known you for a bit kyle and i think you're absolutely acquitting yourself in the way that i expected on the show i'm interested in what that means well we'll look we'll get into it i i will let listeners know that um i recently posted a video uh that someone had made of me getting uh quite angry and indignant throughout the taskmaster process when i was on it and you simply responded with the shaking hands

emoji um yes which kind of i mean sums up so far a little bit of uh what you're like on the show i think um more than any contestant i've ever seen if you are given a low mark you seem absolutely perplexed and also very angry about it is that fair i i think that is exactly correct and also like there are some things I I think I mean there's a clip in the trailer where I say I've smashed this and that is my thought process every single

time and can you imagine the shock when I find out that I have it I sometimes cannot believe it. Yeah, there's a lot of rage in that. I mean, I've only seen a couple of episodes, but there's more rage than I've exhibited anywhere else ever before.

Yeah, you are a very relaxed man in normal life, I would say. But clearly when it comes to the tasks, now and again you seem quite shocked that you've been scored low. And look, we're going to be talking about episode two today. So I'm assuming you've only seen the first two episodes. So this is absolutely perfect. I've seen all of the rest of them. And let me tell you, that attitude from you does not stop.

I've seen all of the rest of them and let me tell you, that attitude from you does not stop just remind me are there any physical fights? not in the edit not that I've heard on the sort of gossip train sure, sure, sure

but no physical fights, I don't think it came to that but also I would say your rage is wonderful because quite often it's it's petulance more than anything it's like a little boy who's been told he can't have pudding well you know why shouldn't I the ice cream man's coming out for a reason let me have a scribble but this is very funny that you say every single time you thought you smashed it even though it had become evident that in some of them you hadn't smashed it. But was that just because you thought, oh, I must be smashing one in a bit.

I'm surely going to smash one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. And also the fact that I couldn't remember some of the stuff. So even as tasks were starting and they were showing other contestants, I was like, I don't remember doing this, but if I did do this, I would have smashed it. Yeah. And then I watch it. And then I watch it and I'm like, oh, all right.

To be fair, I think you certainly start this episode very well, but before we get into it properly, had you seen a lot of taskmaster before they asked you to be on it not enough i do you know what i watched almost all of um charlotte series yeah because when we were filming ghost series three uh we were in lockdown and the only people that i was allowed to socialize with were the people that i was working with and charlotte was in the hotel room below me so um on a thursday we'd go we'd watch that together and that was our weekly thing but it finished two weeks before the show finished and lockdown had been lifted in that time so i was outside baby yeah um yeah

so i didn't see the last two episodes I think but that was the most I've watched um mainly out of jealousy that's why I hadn't watched it before but I feel like myself and Jenny and Claire both would have benefited from watching the show sure sure but then also the danger is you watch the show and you you you're like a sponge you're taking too much of what other people did and you wouldn't have been able to do it in a distinct and unique style. Did you ask for any advice from Charlotte

about how to approach the show? Not really. Mainly because she was terrified throughout. And that's all she tells me that she was scared the whole time and then scared watching it as well so which is why I had to watch it with her and tell her the bits she could open her eyes to

the pod has just become available oh should we try the pod just for the listener Kyle is recording in an office, as I said, but we thought there might be one of those weird office pods that are quite soundproof available, and it's just become available, so you're hearing now live as Kyle goes towards a pod. Is there a seat in the pod, Kyle, or is it...?

Oh, yeah, a lovely little stool in here. Oh, hang on, hang on a second. The problem, though, is that my laptop is on 21%. So it's a fun little game. I'll just sit. Oh, that's incredibly soundproof. That's better. Hello, Simba. so you're in the pod now we were talking about charlotte being charlotte being terrified you

don't come across as terrified on the show though you're not you're not scared uh no not at all um there's no fear. There's definitely not fear. There's a lot of other things. But not fear. What's the opposite of fear? Courage? Maybe I'm too courageous. Yeah, maybe that's it. That's the sort of thing you'd say in a job interview if the boss asked you for a weakness. You'd just say, I'm too courageous. That's the sort of thing you'd say in a job interview if the boss asked you for a weakness. You'd just say, I'm too courageous. That's the problem.

Yeah, my problem is I work too hard. I hear too much about the job. So let's talk about the prize task on this episode, which is the object that whenever you look at it, it makes you feel the weirdest. Now, this was a real victory for you, I think. You got the five points. You went with the glove on a foot.

The classic. Yeah yeah the absolute classic that i i was had not thought about ever until i saw it on this episode of taskmaster and now i probably think about it every day and how gross it is i knew that it had to be a foot immediately yeah like they're the weirdest things and and they're weirder because you go oh disgusting and then remember you've got two yeah i mean i think you i think what sums up what i love about you on taskmaster is talking about feet when you said like what are they oh 100 what are they there was a guy that my friend francis worked with who um wasn't from here it was from some eastern european country that i can't remember the name of because he told me this story over 10 years ago yeah but he he um was doing some sort of heavy lifting job and the other guy that he was working with dropped

his side of whatever they were carrying yeah and he said to him you've dropped it right on my feet fingers that's fantastic to be fair to the guy he's right yeah because because what are they feet fingers everyone should be calling them feet fingers i hope i hope you have immediately suggested that to jamie dimitri as a line for staff to say because that's exactly what that reminds me of you dropped it right on my feet fingers i think yeah the glove on the foot very very strong work um i think there was some argument in the studio about the fact that it wasn't an object, that what you'd done was actually create an object rather than find

something. I wasn't having none of that No I've fashioned it and therefore it's an object If I fastened the glove to the heel then would it be an object? Yes Yes Every sense of the word is an object

it's quite an argumentative panel i'd say i think you you definitely there's some arguments flying around quite early doors people snipping at each other people picking other people's tasks apart um was that something that you felt in the studio um i just felt like um i needed justice yeah at all times um and later on in the series we will see a banana situation which i think is outrageous and i still stand by that um i'd love to know what you think of that but we'll probably have to speak about that at different times we'll speak about that at a different time, yeah for sure there was a lot of big chats happening in the studio

a lot of chats about throwing, coming up as well, throwing there's a big chat about what is it to throw something yeah, you know it gets quite philosophical at times but on this occasion, I'm behind you all the way glove on a foot, perfect let's go, I'm, I'm behind you all the way. Glove on a foot. Perfect.

Uh, let's, let's go right down to the, absolutely not. I don't want to ever think about it again. Um, a couple of one pointers, uh,

in this episode, Greg's being quite harsh. Um, Jenny brings in a magic eye, uh, book, um, which when you look at it for long enough,

the picture of Greg in his trunks, uh, from series 7 flashes up very very funny but I think Jenny may have sacrificed points for a laugh here yes yeah indeed because I don't think it makes me look weird

no sometimes sometimes too far the other way forgetting it's a comedy show because i need the points yeah but i think that's the way to i mean obviously i'm gonna say that but i think that is i think that is the way to approach it um i've never looked at a magic eye book and felt weird i felt annoyed sometimes that i can't see what the magic eye is supposed to be like i don't have some sort of power yeah but you know very agreed very funny but also i'm like this is not as fun as a kaleidoscope so

put it down is that how you base all your judgments on things if they're as fun as a kaleidoscope yeah yeah anything with like shapes and colors and that i'm like but does it be a kaleidoscope nah get rid of it is there anything that beats is there anything that beats a kaleidoscope for you Is there anything that beats a kaleidoscope for you? Telescope. Why does a telescope beat it? Because those stuff, like, move. You know, they're moving by themselves.

I'm not making it move like on the kaleidoscope. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can just look at it. Yeah. Let's talk about Maze. Now, look now I loved this I don't think, I think Greg just clearly doesn't have any existential crises the mirror

that May brought in I thought this was an amazing amazing prize, especially the phrase are we the meat, are we the viewer I think that's truly, truly philosophical do you ever find yourself considering now, after you film that, are you the meat, are you the viewer?

Is that something that's bothered you at all? I know I'm the meat. I don't have to think about that twice. I know. That would be a wonderful wrestling catchphrase for you if you ever took up wrestling. I know I'm the meat. Now, ladies and gentlemen, I know I'm the meat. However...

Everyone joins in with however. Yeah. However... I thought it was strong. I agreed with Greg on the idea that if you're looking at it from the side it makes you feel fine um it's the reflection that makes you feel weird yes but i think if you're looking at the side you're not using the object properly so you know it's that's like saying that's like you saying if you put the glove on your hand then it wouldn't make you feel weird but it's when you put it on

your foot that it makes you feel weird so that's that's a feel weird but it's when you put it on your foot that it makes you feel weird so that's it that's a positioning yes but it's not just the glove we're talking the heel yeah the heel's included in this yeah yeah if you've got a heel on your hand then i'd argue that does look weird i mean i don't think we've got time to get bogged down in this but this part of the hand is called the heel so everyone does have a heel on their hand yeah god i wish we'd been on the same series together the records would have gone for gone on for five and a half hours it'd still be going now yeah but look we can disagree about that i thought mays was excellent and i thought they were very underscored for that um i thought ivo was

quite overscored for his magnetic detachable reading glasses that he was yeah horrible but he himself has admitted to me he felt quite bad about that prize he really rushed putting the prizes together of course and has since found uh he's told me a small clay head that uh he had in his childhood bedroom that he sent me a picture of that is genuinely upsetting especially when you combine it with the uh story that it was next to his bed when he lost his virginity wow and he didn't bring an eye in no i think he thought that afterwards yeah he just thought he should uh you know absolutely drop his uncle in it by saying his glasses made him look weird feel weird every time he looks at them so i don't know what family dinners around the Graham half are going to be like from now on.

It'll be like that Specsavers advert when the waiter comes over with the pepper, with the wine. Yeah. And the man goes, you're a little early with the pepper, young man. Oh my gosh, that advert made me laugh so hard for so long. Not often we get a shout out for the writing of the Specsavers adverts on the Taskmaster podcast.

Hey, listen, you know me, I like to change the rules a little bit. Yeah, you've got a shout out when you enjoy a piece of art. Frankie brings in another painting. Two paintings in a row for Frankie a medieval painting of cats I am sick of Frankie Boyle bringing in things in a frame he did it, he's done it a lot

he has done it a lot and this is not in his house though last week's was in his house but you've got to admit it makes you feel pretty weird when you look at those cats yes yes I do agree with that but hmm i don't know it was that wasn't a high achiever for me personally it was for greg it was four points for greg had you met frankie before you did the series no i hadn't no never

did you have a certain impression of him before you met him that was... I really didn't. I sort of... I had no idea what to expect. I did imagine him to be calm. Yes. That is one thing that I thought about. But I didn't realise how calm. He's probably the calmest man I've ever met.

He's very chill. He's very chill and very thoughtful. And, yeah, quite quiet when you speak to him. Lovely man, quite frankly, with a lot of weird art in his house. With the prize task, did you enjoy coming up with the prize task or did you find it a sort of hassle that weighed on your brain for a long time? There were a few that I found a lot easier than others and this one in particular I found quite easy because I knew instantly

it's got to be something with feet yeah uh what makes feet weirder the material on them yeah um and that that one sort of that one i i think took me five minutes to yeah and then i thought of other things and then i went no i stick with with that one yeah whereas um some of the others took me a real long time and i came up with something that was probably in my pocket yeah look there's various styles that people use to come up with prize tasks there's there's you know desperately thinking of things uh and inventing things and thinking outside the box but then there is the the technique of what's in my pocket or indeed with with guz khan it was what's in my house and sometimes what's in my pocket or indeed with with guz khan it was

what's in my house and sometimes what's in the dressing room of the taskmaster studio and they're all relevant techniques but sometimes which is insane considering you're given three months yes absolutely three months uh and that then guz brought i think it was guz brought a chair from the from the dressing room in the studio. And Ivo definitely, I know, really put it off until the last minute, which is very Ivo, it's a very Ivo thing to do. I've brought in a small object that I think can trigger like a deep existential crisis, and that object is a mirror.

And like... What are we? Are we the meat? Are we the viewer? Are we the meat? Are we the viewer? One or the other. So, they did an experiment in 2010.

If you stare into a mirror for ten minutes, 66% of people experienced seeing huge Deformations in their face. I agree I've looked into a mirror for up to 10 minutes when I was a child and I found my face to be horribly different I think it works. However, if I said at the back of that mirror, I wouldn't feel weird at all The other thing that makes you weird I put it to you is your own reflection object you've offered up Makes you weird, I put it to you, is your own reflection, not the object you've offered up.

Interesting. What a round! Let's talk about task one, featuring the horn section, of course. Part one, compose a solo for this musician. The solo must be original and less than 30 seconds long. You have five minutes. Your time starts now. And then part two, make something look like this musician's musical instrument, then mime to your new solo. You may not use a musical instrument in the creation of your musical instrument best performance

wins you have 15 minutes your time starts now you seem to mainly concern yourself with guessing ed the keyboardist's age in this task well listen you've got to know stuff about the guy that you're working with you know you find out a few years later that he, I don't know, was a murderer. Yeah. And they're like, you did a song with this guy, how did you not know? I was like, I didn't know anything about him. You've got to find out stuff first. So would you know his age impact on whether you knew he was a murderer or not?

It would give me some idea. What age are murderers normally? Sort of 39 to 44. Right, okay, so if he's in that bracket, chances are he's a murderer. Don't work with him. Yeah.

Good to know. That's good to know. Anyone who's listening, just stay safe out there. Always check someone's age. Yeah who's listening, just stay safe out there. Always check someone's age. Yeah, you've got to check that. And almost certainly there will be a murder if they're between 39 and 44. Although Alex brought that up because I said, I think I said a polite young man.

And then Alex said, how old do you think he is? Yeah. So then I thought, well, I know what I'll do in this song I'll guess his age the song was great it was really good what I would say is you made your keyboard from books I think compared to some of the other people's your instrument

not necessarily the most accurate looking or creative would you like to argue back with me 100% are you going to tell me that cactus looks more like now you're deliberately picking the worst one there i would say yes it was but it was better than ivo's cactus which was sprayed gold uh to look like apparently looked like a saxophone with spoons on it i mean that that was that was bad

stuff i thought from ivo that yeah, that was hellish. Jenny's was very good. Jenny's trumpet, yeah, the tinfoil with banana and coffee pods. I thought the coffee pods as the keys of the trumpet, an absolute stroke of genius from Jenny Eckler. Yeah, lovely stuff. Really, really strong, and strong performance from her as well. This is where we're starting to see sort of slightly unhinged, wild Jenny coming out with the song.

It's mainly screeching. Yeah, yeah. But it looked good. It looked great. And the performance was good. And she just throws herself into every element of this series. Yeah. Yeah, she's really going for it.

Really going for it. Would you say you were going for it or did you always have sort of uh stuff at the back of your mind to stop you fully fully going for it i think my issue was that i started thinking after i'd already started doing something else you're right okay so i was doing first and then thinking of what I was going to do second. Yeah, I read your interview about Taskmaster and I think the pull quote was, if there were four ways of fucking up a task, I found a fifth.

Which is an amazing quote. And also I saw a quote from Alex saying that this series, the line-up is a cleverer line-up than they've ever had. Strongly agree. Would you strongly agree? Because I have seen the whole series and that quote did surprise me if I'm honest. No, to be honest, I was quite surprised by that myself.

Yes, there is a quote that you, that is attributed to you because you did say it later on in the series, which I won't reveal for everyone because it is the title of one of the episodes that i think is perhaps the thickest thing anyone's ever said on taskmaster um and also i would say the majority of what ivo does is not thick but is very frustrating quite a lot of the time um the saxophone being a perfect example he spends so much time preparing other

stuff that doesn't matter that when it comes to actually doing the task he has to rush stuff um yeah but we love him we love him although ivo in ivo does uh as i said i haven't seen that much of taskmaster i've seen like most of charlotte's series i've seen a few of Guz's. But Ivo in one of the Tars does one of the best things I've seen. Right, okay. On Tars Monster. This is intriguing.

We will see that in a future episode, I'm sure. Great. Well, let's keep an eye out for that because, again, I will say, I've seen the whole series and I don't know what you're talking about. for that because again i will say i've seen the whole series and i don't know what you're talking about um we've talked about the the five pointers i've got a five point uh five points because he did this again he's done it again where he tries to compose the whole solo based on letters from ivo graham and taskmaster which basically gives him about three notes to play with um but it was a fun way of doing it but the instrument didn't really work and but still five points but it was a very jaunty little tune by the end so what

what remind me of what happened was it four three of us got five and two got four yeah so you Ivo and Jenny all got five points uh for your efforts um but then uh Frankie and May both got four points so it was a very high scoring round Frankie of. Frankie, of course, was doing the drums. So he used oil drums, swing ball rackets, and bins. Thought it looked like a pretty good drum kit. Yeah, it did, yeah. But the miming was a little bit off from Frankie, I think. Oh, I'll say.

Yeah. He missed a couple of beats on that. And then May is a very good Taskmaster contestant. And you could see, before they even got the second part of the task, they were thinking of how to make it an impressive sort of playing of a double bass. So they made the double bass player play with their toes. But unfortunately, that meant that when it came to May... Feet fingers then.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. They made the double bass player play with their feet fingers. So when it came to them having to do it, they, of course, had to use their feet fingers to play the double bass. But again, I thought the instrument certainly looked more impressive than the saxophone and the keyboard. It did, yeah. Yeah, wooden sledge, tabletop...

Wait, sorry, what? No, nothing. Keep going. Tabletop string, a a plastic jug i thought it looked great but they were concerned about losing points for uh the pun maestro i quite liked it i enjoyed it i enjoyed it i think they need to relax people like it's spelled maestro right yeah yeah yeah yeah it's perfect you don't even need that ideal well wordplay you don't even need to change any of the letters.

But the solo itself probably wasn't that great because of the feet-fingers situation. Yes. But still, four points. Four points for May. Four points for Frankie. Five points for you, Kyle. Five points for Ivo. And five points for Jenny.

Still all to play for in this episode. One, two, three, and... Composer solo Less than 30 seconds Composer solo Less than and... Composer solo, less than 30 seconds Composer solo, less than 30 seconds Composer solo, less than 30 seconds Long, dead long, less than 30 seconds long What's your age young man?

41? 42? 43? 42. 43. Thank you, Gail. That's all right. See ya. Every veteran has a story. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more.

At veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.

Task two, we get to the team tasks. The first first team task build the highest bridge over the middle of the red green and balance potato on the middle of the bridge the potato may not be anchored in any way if anything touches the red green you must put everything back where you found it tut and go back to the drawing board you have 20 minutes your time starts now of course the red green in the potato a nod to joe wilkinson uh his legendary uh get the potato in the potato hole um but that wasn't the aim here uh the aim was to build a bridge and it's the first time we see the teams how did you feel about being on a team with jenny and may um well it was exciting because this was the first time I'd met them together.

I met my team. And so I was still excited. I didn't know what might happen, but I found out very quickly. And Jenny just shouted some insane things. What I realised is that we spent probably half the task stacking barrels yeah before we just decided to tape some poles together yeah yeah there was a lot of waste of time yeah didn't need the barrels just take those poles together um how did you see how did you see your role in the team if the team dynamics what did you see your role your

strengths that you brought to the team um architect did that go for all the team tasks, do you think, being the professor? That's the wrestling name. I think... However! Yeah, I think that... I think I tried that. But it didn't always work, as we'll see in future tasks. didn't always work as we'll see in future tasks um but had i realized that we could have started with the poles yeah and we would have probably saved ourselves some time and in that time we would have found a way to to make the potato go higher yes well look you you still made the potato

go the highest so you did the job um yeah but it's just you know it's always frustrating when you waste a lot of time on a technique and then realize there's a much easier way to do it and you know not not that sort of impressive away you're not getting a round of applause for the polls but you did the job you did the job that you had to got the job done um and i'm sure you noticed the part that confused me immediately red green yeah that's where you did it. Oh, big style. I was like, there's got to be a common missing here somewhere. It wasn't, it turns out. Yeah, so that bit I found difficult. But once we got past that, and once my team learned to trust me and believe that I could read, I think we got on quite well. You did, I thought you got

on pretty well pretty quickly actually. There were certainly less ructions in your team than Frankie and Ivo which was a marvel to us. It is interesting because you'd expect that the team with more people have more conflicting views. But in fact it was father and son who... Yeah, the father and son from different sides of the tracks. I mean, even just... I think Ivo walking in and Frankie not realising it was Ivo and thinking it was just someone who'd come to deliver something

is potentially... It's my second favourite meeting of teams after Richard Herring and Daisy May Cooper where Richard walked into the room and Daisy genuinely backed away from him in disgust. But Ivo War in, hello Frankie, and Frankie just sort of looking over and then looking back at the camera confused. It's absolutely fantastic.

But the dynamic in that team of Frankie sort of strongly suggesting something and then just getting on with it and doing it, while Ivo, in his most polite polite way tries to sort of make frankie stop doing that just going well maybe that isn't a good maybe that's not a good idea frankie i'm not sure i'm not sure if that's 100 uh the most accurate way of um yeah a lot of that a lot of that it was like watching a video for like some sort of manager assertiveness training like some sort of manager assertiveness training and that was how you don't do it yes yeah yeah and now take a look at what you should have done yeah yeah because frankie sends ivo away as well to to just work on the board and all ivo manages in the whole time is to wipe the board

he forgets the name for board rubber oh yes I wonder if there was a better way than the two teams or if there was an easier way in terms of do you think neither team found the best way no I just think that when I watched it back I thought there might have been some sort of trick

I thought there might have been something hidden behind the drawing board for example that was like well how to do it what they normally do in that scenario is if there was something behind the drawing board they would show it they would show it yeah yeah so i think maybe it was just a task where it was just all on all on instinct and technique and they were just waiting to see what people did i kind of like i kind of of like Frankie's idea of going from the top of the dome, maybe all the way across to the caravan, but I think in reality, Ivo was probably right.

It was probably a bit of a waste of time, but it's the perfect way to introduce the teams to the show. So you did very well. You did 2m40, but it wasn't enough to beat Frankie and Ivo, who got 2m81 despite the fractured father-son relationship meeting for the first time after the birth of Ivo. 2m81 to them, five points to them, and three points to your team, Kyle.

Your team of three seemed very comfortable together straight away. Good chemistry. Good chemistry. What's going on here? I didn't know he... I thought it was some bloke delivering something. So you didn't know who I thought was? I did once, I like fully took him in, but I thought someone's just wandered into the shop. I would say watching Frankie and Ivo, they were the most like a sort of father and son team we've ever had, except a father and son who haven't really spent any time together.

It's what you want from the team task. The crackle of tension. Not some bloody mic-muffling hug. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. We all sniff a potato and then get on. Boring. Not for me and my dad.

boring not for me and my dad let's talk about task 3 and I love to talk about task 3 Kyle because I'm in this one a bit achieve the most impressive effect with a single breath you must take your breath and achieve your effect within the next 20 minutes

little points to pick up on really shows the hierarchy of the contestants. Everyone else watches Alex blow that task over but before Alex can blow it over in front of Frankie he simply picks it up and reads it. Fantastic moment of television.

Amazing. Real just natural alpha vibes from Frankie there. And he hadn't even realised that he'd done it. Fantastic stuff. Alex too scared to say anything. alpha vibes from Frankie there. And he hadn't even realised that he'd done it. Yeah. Fantastic stuff. Alex, too scared to say anything. They will not reshoot stuff on Taskmaster.

It's all natural and that is the proof. Now, how do you feel about your effort here, Kyle? Hey, look, come on. I think that my problem was not the idea that I had, nor the execution of the idea, but the weight of the ball. Okay. Now, you picked the ball, right?

Huh? You picked the ball, right? Because it wasn't do something with this ball, and you had to do it with that ball. That was something you wholly chose and decided to do, so it feels like the weight of the ball, I'm just going to say this, is part of the execution. Okay, well, if that's what you think.

But you're wrong. I tried really hard. And maybe halfway through that task, I realised that what I thought was going to be an incredible display of mousetrap was in fact

really, really shit. And I thought maybe it's the effect at the end that needs to change. So I thought, I'll put a duck in a bowl. You thought the duck would do something?

Yeah. I thought the duck might do a little 360 or something. What was the aim initially? Just because I'm slightly baffled, because it was achieve the most impressive effect with a single breath. So was the idea that you were going to blow on the ball and it was just going to go down a pipe and then land in a bowl? No, it was going to do loads of stuff. I mean, in my head, it was going to blow on the ball and it was just going to go down a pipe and then land in a bowl? No, it was going to do loads of stuff.

I mean, in my head, it was going to go around the whole house. But you didn't set anything up in the house? No, I didn't. I just thought that it might, like... I don't know, man. I really had high hopes. And I thought, you know, sometimes you see every now and then a YouTube video or if you're my age, a Facebook video will show you a thing that some guy set up in his house and that turns into that

and that connects to that and that swings around and then the computer chair and flips and the spatula there's always a spatula involved and um yeah i kind of thought that that would happen despite the fact that i used maybe a hundred less things than any of those videos yeah and didn't put any of it didn't put any of it going through the house or anywhere else it was just a straight pipe down to a bowl essentially i didn't even look for a spatula um yeah i think i was sort of worried about the time as well because i have a real i have a real issue with time yeah um i'm often late not because i don't care it's just because i think i have more time than I do. Sure. That's a difficult thing to deal with on Taskmaster, right? Yeah. And in life.

And I quite often spend most of the time that I do have choosing what I'm going to wear. Right, okay. I mean, fortunately, I didn't have that problem in Taskmaster because I was already dressed. But I was thinking about, like... I don't know, the vision, the idea I had in my head was very different to the final result that we all saw.

Yeah, well, I hope so, because if that was what you had in your head as working, then that would be absolutely insane. Yeah, yeah, that would be crazy. That would be bad. But also, it wasn't a single breath, which was one of the main issues, was that it took multiple huffs and puffs to get the golf ball down the drainpipe. But look, it was one point.

Consider the golf ball. Yeah. It was one point. But Jenny and Ivo also both got one point because I thought Jenny's idea was strong. I understood the idea that the impressive effect was saving the caravan from burning down. But in reality, again, one thread slightly smouldering

and then her blowing it out. It didn't feel like she was preventing an inferno. If I had come up with that, I would have argued that till the death. Yeah. So did you like this idea? Did you think it... I really did.

I thought it was the best one. Really? Yeah. I mean, again, in theory, it's a very good idea, but I thought in practice it didn't quite have the impressive effect that she was hoping for. Sure, sure. But I think the only way it would be if there was more fire

yeah but then would she have been able to blow that out in a single breath I wish they'd let her find out but the caravan is now you know it's a site of national importance the Taskmaster caravan if Jenny had burnt that down we need some jeopardy, man.

There wasn't enough danger in this series, I think. That's when people ask me about my experience. I say, oh, loved it. Great fun. Time of my life. Not enough danger. I never felt like anyone was going to die. And we've got ghosts all the time, you know? That's what I like.

Look at how many people have died in ghosts. Exactly. A strong majority. Look at how many people have died in Ghosts. Exactly. You know? A majority, a strong majority. Yeah, none of those actors, this is a little behind-the-scenes thing, none of those actors were supposed to be playing Ghosts. They were all playing alive people, and they all died during the pilot.

Yeah. We were like, we're going to have to change tack. We're going to have to call it Ghosts. Ivo's was truly dreadful. This is an absolute classic taskmaster panic calling a radio show not getting through calling greg but getting no answer then decides to put glasses on the floor uh and then a basketball and i think he's trying to smash the glasses with the basketball or you know or you know some sort of impressive thing and then calls me disappointing to hear that i was very much the last resort in this task

and also what what did he think was going to happen when you heard someone breathing on the phone well i don't know i mean obviously my first thought was either ivo's a perv which might be impressive depending on what you know of his sexual history yeah i mean that isn't that is impressive but yeah but genuinely like it turns out i was a perv i did not know that i suppose that is impressive um how is impressive that he managed to keep it from you for so long yeah i decided to reveal it like this honestly my first thought was because i knew he was doing taskmaster ivo's doing a task and he's fucked it up, because all I heard was,

and then, oh, and then that was it. That's all I heard. I honestly think that if the task was try not to smash these glasses by by rolling a basketball onto them we would have all failed because everyone would have smashed the shit out of those glasses how he didn't manage to smash those glasses I have no idea

yeah that would have been the only way anything impressive would have happened if he'd smashed those glasses and yet he landed a full weight basketball on top of glasses and they didn't smash as if the house is completely against him just like no not you yeah we're not doing this for you i mean look i love being involved i love that i got a call from the production crew saying um do you mind if your voice is on this episode i'm like no absolutely not any opportunity to get back onto taskmaster even if it's just saying hello ivo um but of

course a disaster from ivo one point for him as well frankie uh turns into a very cheeky little boy and decides to blow a whistle at a golfer just as they're about to tee off um now that is good i think it's good i don't it's not great it's it's good it's it's fun it's naughty yeah um is it impressive no it's not impressive also i would say it's heavily influenced by the first jackass movie right sure do you think do you think frankie's seen that yeah that's a good point as well is frankie a jackass fan i don't know but there is there's a skit in the first jackass movie where they hide in bushes on a golf course and every time

a golfer goes for a swing, they blow an air horn. And it's probably the best thing in that film. I don't know if Frankie has seen that or he is. I mean, a lot of... If you look at the rest of his work, I wouldn't say it's hugely influenced by the jackass guys. So maybe this was just... is the original sanchez maybe

yeah he's a dirty sanchez guy yeah later on in the uh taskmaster series he uh he does a dirty sanchez skit where he uh sits on skateboard grip tape naked and they pull it out from under him it's genuinely something they did in Dirty Sanchez. Absolutely gross. What really made me laugh here is that Frankie's first instincts were to blow a whistle in a matinee or a church. Yeah. How long did he have? A matinee? Yeah. Book the tickets, go to the theatre.

Yeah, 20 minutes. I mean, yeah, and church-wise, you're not... I mean, you don't film on a Sunday for Taskmaster, so you're really, you're rolling the dice as to whether there's a service going on. But the golfer was probably the best option, and I did like it. I thought it was good, but you're probably right. Not impressive. May's, however, was impressive.

I feel like May realised what you were hoping for. Is that fair yes yes because look the tube was the length of the hallway it was a longer tube than yours it didn't go all around the house or hit a spatula or anything like that but what they realized was you need something at the end for it to sound like a success has been realised. And the little ding of the xylophone was absolutely perfect. It was understated, but it was impressive. It was. I'll give them that. It was very impressive.

See, this is the attitude that I love from you, Kyle. Still, even when you're saying that what someone did was good, it's through gritted teeth and you're still angry about this. Yeah, I'm fuming about it because it's a better version of what i wanted to do perfect but still only four points it's a very low scoring task uh you know in comparison to the high schools we were getting for for earlier tasks greg did not enjoy people's efforts here it was four points for may three points for Frankie, one point for you, Kyle, one point for Jenny, and one point for Ivo.

Why was I so impressed by Frankie Boyle being a naughty boy? Everyone hates golf. Everyone. I've never really played golf because I'm not trapped in a loveless marriage. Frankie got slightly lucky because our garden backs onto a golf course. Your first instincts were to blow a whistle in a matinee or a church.

Both of which I would have enjoyed. Let's talk about the live task. Did you enjoy doing the live tasks? I really did, actually, but I've consistently, I think I did the same face at the start of every live task, which is the, if you type thinking on an iPhone,

the emoji comes up of that. And I think I did that face every single time I got up on that stage what just because you were trying to work out exactly what you had to do listen I have trouble concentrating on what someone's saying at the best of times and I was like

they're going to say this maybe twice maximum and I'm going to miss something and I'm going to fuck it up so I was really trying to concentrate and listen and think right what is the trick here yeah just to remind you this is the the cleverest bunch of people that has ever been on Taskmaster according to Alex Horne which I stick behind yeah yeah I I did enjoy the task and I thought, oh, I know what I'll do and no one else will do it.

Yes, I mean, so the task here, create a recognisable picture of an animal on the back of your T-shirt using the equipment provided. You must stay on your spot and you must not move your spot. If you create the same animal as someone else, you'll both be disqualified. Uh-oh, best recognisable picture of an animal on your back wins. You have 200 seconds. So I would argue, Kyle, did you try and do something that you thought no one else would do and you thought was good?

Or did you pick the animal that is the easiest to do? Because you went with the snake, and so did Frankie. I would argue that you went, a snake would be easy, it's just one bit of tape, fuck it I did think that but I also thought that no one else was going to do that I thought it was just too route one

and I thought everyone else was going to be overthinking this which I often do and sometimes I overthink and it's good and sometimes I overthink and it's a golf ball that won't move when I try and blow it. Yeah. So, yeah.

And I even, mine had a little tongue as well, a little gnarled tongue. Yeah, look, the tongue was nice. The tongue was a nice addition. It was a very straight snake, of course. But both snakes, I wouldn't say, were hugely snaky. And I felt like you both may have taken the easy way out, and you were punished for that, and it was nought points. Yeah, yeah, that's tough for the guy, man.

I think if it didn't feel like the end of the episode, I might have tried to argue that it was an eel. Yeah, very few people launch into a full argument during the live task when they're on the stage. There's not normally time for that in the edit, but, you know, if there was one guy that was going to do it, I'd probably say it would be you. Yeah.

It was a disappointing end, but that meant Ivo got three points for his terrible giraffe. Yeah. I actually thought that May's duck was better than Jenny's butterfly. I see, right. Okay, so you thought May deserved the win. Jenny's butterfly was

nice. I thought it was pretty. I thought she put a lot of effort into it with the different colours. But I might agree with you in the sense that May's duck had a lot of character to its face. It looked more cartoonish. It was a bit more fun. You could name that duck

whereas I wouldn't bother naming James. I'd like to meet that guy. Yeah. What do you think he'd be like? Sort of... Do you know what? A lot like me. Yeah. Courageous. Well-dressed.

Not understand the weight of a golf ball. This episode, it was a victory for Ivo, which, I'll be honest with you, I never thought I'd see. Certainly not this early on in the series. With disastrous things like blowing a basketball off a table, as soon as I heard that phone call I thought Ivo's never winning an episode but there he is

there he is at the top of the pile May and Frankie joint on 16 points, Jenny on 15 points and you very close behind but sadly at the bottom with 14 points but a pretty tight group fuming, yeah that's when my fury started Very close behind, but sadly at the bottom with 14 points, but a pretty tight group. Fuming about it. Fuming, yeah.

That's when my fury started. Because obviously, episode one, I'm like, okay, here we go. You just start strong and we'll be good. Get bedded in, yeah. And by the end of two, full rage. Full rage. And to hit full rage episode two when there's eight episodes to go is quite something where do you go from there did you turn up because it's two episodes a night did you

finish that day being like right i'll come back refreshed tomorrow or were you just fuming all night and into the next episodes no i was like okay tomorrow we got this i knew what the prize tasks were coming up and i was like okay here we. Yeah. I've led them into a full sense of security and I'm just going to swipe it. But obviously you also don't know what tasks are coming up. Yeah. And there were a few that I knew that I'd done well in. There were a few that I hadn't done so well in. There was one that never made it to the edit. Oh, please. Can you please tell us about this task? It was actually a tiebreaker task. Yeah.

Where I had to catch as many balls as possible that were thrown at me. Yeah. And that is my strength. Catching loads of balls. Catching. I think sort of, I mean, I would say that musical things are also my strength, but we'll find out later if that's true. Well, of course, we've already had...

I can't believe I've not mentioned it. We've already had your brilliant song, On The Barge, for me. Yeah. Which Greg hated. He wanted to hate it, but I think it was a bit of like Rebecca Black Friday about it. Oh, yeah, that's such a good shout. Are you considering maybe putting a beat to the back of

One on the Barge Pole for me? Yeah, yeah, get that on TikTok. A couple hundred million views. Yeah, I reckon so. And then properly, professionally record it. Look, I'd buy it. I'd buy it. I think we can get that to number one,

one on the barge pole for me. I'm happy to drop a guest verse if you want to beef it up a bit. Oh, thanks, man. Well, maybe the remix. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, I'm happy with that. I'm happy with that.

Series so far, it's obviously only episode two, but May is currently in the lead with 35. Jenny was 31. Then you then you mid table with 29 ivo right sorry frankie right behind you uh on 28 and i vote the bottom with 26 but still all to play for it's about holding your nerve uh it's about doing all in those price tasks and live tasks to mop up any worries you have. Go on. There was a quote in the press pack from myself, which I couldn't disagree with more. Okay.

But this is something you've said that you couldn't disagree with more. Yes. Yes. Yep. I was asked if I was competitive. Right. And my answer was just a bunch of bullshit. I don't know what I was talking about. When I read that, I was competitive right and my answer was just a bunch of bullshit I

don't know what I was talking about when I read that I was like oh gosh and last week I was being chased to like okay the press bag and I was like knew that I had to get around to that but like my emails were just stacking up and I was like alright yeah yeah I'll get around to that and I was like yeah we'd like end of play play tomorrow and I was like yeah I'll definitely do that tomorrow lunchtime didn't it came out yesterday I had another read just to like remember what it was and I was like oh fuck that bullshit's in there I don't know what I was talking about I was like I said something like my goal wasn't to get the trophy, it was just to win one time. What the hell is that about?

So that's not true, none of that's true. Garbage, binges. They're like, no, not at all. I'm there to win. Everything I do, I'm there to win. What's the point in turning up? Yeah, look, I completely agree with you. But yeah, I read that quote and I thought,

well, I've seen what he does and how he reacted if he didn't do well. So that's clearly not true at all. No, no, not in any way. But I'm glad we can set that straight on the podcast now. Yes, please. You all seem to really get on in the studio. Yeah, yeah, it's a great bunch of people. And we had a lot of fun on stage, but also backstage,

in between bits, just when you're getting ready for the live task and that, and standing around chatting. And we were still, it was a great vibe. And everyone was really about the show, I think. I think there was, obviously, there were some people that wanted to win more than others. Yeah. But we were still really set on giving a good show.

Yeah. Which I think comes out in the edit. Yeah, I think so. And have you all stayed in touch? Is there a WhatsApp group? There is a WhatsApp group. Would you like me to read the last message that was added to the WhatsApp group? Please, I would absolutely love that.

I'm going to let you guess who you think it might be. Okay. The last message is, I hope we kill this franchise okay well it's frank isn't it correct yeah absolutely love that that's perfect um kyle thank you so much for coming on the taskmaster podcast we always ask our guests to rate their experience on the taskmaster podcast between one and five points in the style of the taskmaster um we hope you've had a nice time on the podcast but feel free to be honest with your with your rating um and look there were some technical issues that i don't know whether they'll make the edit or not um feel free to include those, but do let us know if that's affected the points score. For me? For me.

It's a high four. Okay. And the reason is I've spent most of this podcast looking at the battery life of my laptop because despite the fact that it's charging, it is going down. I think you've done remarkably well to not mention that since you were so happy

to have found the wire and then plugged it into the wall. I was on 24 when we started and now I'm on 10. You've been on a knife edge for the whole recording. Absolutely. I did not bid for that, recording. Absolutely. This is amazing.

If I'd not been for that, it would have been a strong five. Yeah, well, look, I'm happy we made it all the way to the end of the podcast without your laptop cutting out, and I'm very happy with the high four despite that. Thank you so much, Kyle. Thank you. Bye-bye.

Thank you so much to Kyle for coming on the Taskmaster podcast. Hope those tech issues weren't too stressful for you, the listener, or indeed for Kyle himself. I wasn't stressed by it. I thought it was hilarious. We'll be back next week to talk about Series 15, Episode 3. And I guess next week is Jenny Eclair, the wonderful Jenny Eclair, who's, of course, on Taskmaster Series 15.

I love Jenny Eclair. Can't wait to talk to her. Come back here 10pm on all your podcast apps straight after the main show on Channel 4 and you will hear me talk to Jenny Eclair. For now, goodbye! Every veteran has a story. Whatever your next chapter, get support with health, education, finance, and more at veterans.gc.ca slash services. A message from the Government of Canada.