Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 142. Lucy Beaumont - S16 Ep.3

Episode Date: October 5, 2023

This week Ed is joined by the brilliant Lucy Beaumont! Lucy discusses her time on the show and how she felt about her fellow contestants. She reveals why she smelt the chew toy and she gets to explain her leg/ arm theory. Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterVisit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It's me, Ed Gamble, the host of it. These intros aren't very long normally and neither will this one be. I hope you're all enjoying the new series of Taskmaster. Absolutely fantastic stuff. What a cast we have. And we're very lucky for this episode to be joined by another member of that cast, the fantastic Lucy Beaumont. Lucy is an absolute superstar.

Every time they talk to her in the studio, I cannot wait to see what she's going to say. So it will be great to talk to her about Taskmaster Series 16, Episode 3. I hope you've seen that episode. If you've not, go and watch it. Remember that Taskmaster, all new episodes of Taskmaster, air at 9 o'clock on Thursdays on Channel 4.

Come straight back here for the podcast afterwards and listen to our breakdown of it, task by task, little catch-up with contestants, see how they enjoyed the experience and previous contestants as well. But without further ado, this is Taskmaster Series 16, Episode 3, as discussed by Lucy Beaumont. Welcome, Lucy, to the Taskmaster podcast. Hello! Thank you so much for coming on the podcast. We're very excited to have you on because,

of course, you're a star of the current series of Taskmaster series 16 um are you excited that the show's finally being broadcast slightly slightly apprehensive because you do sort of forget it's being filmed even though there's cameras yeah I know what you mean there's that There's that feeling when you're filming the tasks that no one will ever see it. And then you have to watch it back. And then you sort of forget that the studio is coming out and you have to relive all of that again.

Totally. It's just a constant thing of like joy and shame, joy and shame. You know, even like you'll do a task where you'll be like on the floor sort of screaming. And then you'll break for lunch and they ask you to pick like which nandos they were and then you you'll all sit together with all the crew and they've just seen you like really almost degrade yourself and you all sit together and and he in that little like weird little house just off a motorway in the middle of nowhere

it's all it is a weird show it is it's a very weird show uh and i think that's why it's connected with so many people because you know so many people have got you know their different ways of approaching things and their own idiosyncrasies and i think that's that's put across so perfectly on this show with the with the different lineups and i think this lineup in particular has a real breadth of personality types would you say that's the case yeah did you bond with your with your group yes very much so yeah you did yeah very well yeah yeah we've not met up since but but we stay in touch via whatsapp

yeah which is lovely I think particularly uh and I that, I had you on my radio show the other day and I said this to you then, but the particular pairing of you and Sam together, because you're both, you both have such individual viewpoints and the fact you were sat together sort of focused it as well. You seem to really, you seem to really click with each other. Yeah, I did. He was like, I don't have a brother, but he was like, if you'd have told me yeah that my mum met an australian chap which could well have happened he's got he's got very

strong little brother energy i think sam anyway because he's like cheeky and very charming uh and naughty he's got proper proper little brother vibes yeah and so you wouldn't know how old do you know what he what did um endear me to him was um when we met yes where because he's so positive about everything he asked me where i was from and i said oh i'm from the the northeast and then and i and he said oh and i said it's on the coast and he said i said it's the north sea and he was like oh wow you grew up near the ocean and i the North Sea and he was like oh wow you grew up near the ocean and I was like yeah and he was like did you spend a lot of time on the beach I was like sometimes like if you wanted to spot a dead body you know I would go and like on the

shingle beach but it was just I just loved that he thought the North Sea was an ocean yeah it's very a very Australian assumption that that if you grew up near the coast that you spent a lot of time on the beach, whereas the actual North East coastline is, oh, it's torrid, isn't it? It can be, it's dramatic. Oh, yeah, it is. It's cold. Yeah.

How well did you know the show before you agreed to do it had you seen much Taskmaster in the past oh I had yeah I've I've what I think I've watched most series on and off you know um yeah no I did I loved it and I liked um you know people that like you know like John Cairns for instance like you know like me and you like we we know John Cairns and we know like what an incredible sort of he's on the sort of slapstick comic I think isn't it um but you know that's what's the exciting thing when you see someone you think oh other people are gonna know about find out about this person yes which is lovely because it it does sort of unravel people I think if that makes sense yeah absolutely and I felt I definitely felt that way

about your series with you and Sam in that I think everyone knows you're brilliant and you're you're finding more of an audience and the sort of audience that are really going to enjoy you live as well because I think I think the way you are on the show if people come and see you live they're going to be like this is brilliant This is exactly what we'd hoped for. Yeah, that'd be nice. Yeah. More weird audience members. Well, in episode one, you set your stall out very early with the discussion about your legs being like arms with feet on.

I totally stand by that. Stand by that comment. Yeah. to the point that i did live at the apollo the other night and i decided to crawl on instead of walk because i thought people would be looking at my legs how did they feel how did the production team feel about that did they know you were going to do that well we had to rehearse it because stupidly i said i'd like to crawl on and they said well we'll rehearse it that was very under you know coming and obviously there's no applause there's just sort of middle-aged techies looking at you so hang on you i mean look we don't want to spoil your life the apollo appearance but i take it you then do talk about why you crawled on as you're well that bit because obviously that hadn't really hurt you know i didn't know what to say so i just ignored the

fact i'd crawled on so i didn't so i could just go straight into the the material even better even better and i like having done live at the apollo when you walk out when you walk out as i did i didn't go with the crawl it's it's. It's a distracting experience anyway because there's so much dry ice and the lights are so bright and you're trying to go under that door. That's already quite intimidating. How did it feel crawling through the dry ice?

Well, I did, because I tried it. I did try it, you know, walking through and obviously didn't like it because I couldn't see and was worried because I do think my legs look like arms with toes and then so I said after I said I'm going to crawl and he said

well we're going to have to practice it and I was like oh my god so that's when they made me do it all over again. Fantastic well that's something to look out for in the future do not miss Lucy's appearance on Live at the Apollo. Now, obviously, you're in a household with John Richardson, who was on Series 2 of Taskmaster.

Did he give you any tips going into your experience? Yeah, but I don't like taking tips from John. But yeah, I mean, he's still, if anyone remembers that, he still bears a grudge because there's points per rabbit thing with Catherine Ryan that he should have won, really. And he was genuinely upset so it was triggering for him when I said I was going to be involved in Taskmaster because he doesn't have a good word to say about the program. Well yeah he's never been on this podcast so that probably speaks to the truth somewhat. Exactly he does like you Ed he's not got a problem with you.

Oh good glad to glad to hear it. It's just the machine it's the machine yeah fair enough fair enough there was an amazing moment in episode one uh with the getting the duck into the lake task where sue stretched the rules a little bit and you know she moved everything in advance and widened the course and it your reaction to it it was like the first time you realized that you could sort of find workarounds in the task you were absolutely horrified that Sue had uh Sue had bent the rules I was I was I mean I I love Sue I mean I thought she was just incredible she she had that sort of like do you remember like the famous five it was like famous five energy you know like in a bit of like let's get this done and she was so sprightly

I don't know how because we filmed those in January and like we had to turn up at like six o'clock in the morning I don't know if she was on something or if I'm just like but she but but it did it well her energy bothered me um and uh but but I you know I did I I was really surprised I just wondered you know is it because she's more famous than me that she's going to be allowed to I felt like there was something else at play because I thought well are they gonna is he you know I don't trust Greg obviously who would trust that beast of a man um that's what all the sort of grim tales were about to warn you about men like Greg Red Riding Hood and and. So I just was worried, like, is he going to start, you know, giving points to people for different things when they've cheated? I wanted to do it straight down the line, you know.

But what I'm saying is Sue did not cheat in that. She read the task and she spotted what she could do that was not mentioned on the task. I think she cheated. she read the task and she spotted what she could do that was not mentioned on the task and that was but then also you backed up your argument by saying no one's telling you to not go at 90 on the motorway but they are they are telling you to not go at 90 on the motorway because the limit's 70 right well it's 70 but that's it's very brief it? It doesn't give you any other information. You would prefer it said you can go at 70, you can go below that, but you can't go 80, 90, 100, 110.

You need a full list of speeds that you can't go at. Well, it doesn't say don't, which I think is why people do. Which is why the limit. No, it advises 70, doesn't it? It's the law. You've got to go 70 or below. You can't break 70. That means that's the same as saying you can't go at 90.

But why do they make cars that go 100? Well, that I can't answer. I completely agree with that. If there's going to be a speed limit, then you shouldn't make cars that can go over that. But that's very funny. I think she bent the rules. She bent the rules, exactly.

But she didn't break them. And that's sometimes part of Taskmaster. You can find workarounds, you can find little hacks. But I do respect you as well for wanting to play it straight down the line. Yeah. yeah let's talk about the prize task in this episode three of taskmaster series 16 uh the prize task is the present you've been given that raises the most questions um we've already had some great prize tasks from you including the uh the picture of the possessed uh dog uh in the uh in the photo frame the dog does the does the ghost of the boxer dog still haunt your house uh well we've moved it was one

of the reasons we moved um so i i'd live with the the the feeling of it constantly but it hasn't actually happened again you know so so the dog hasn't the the the ghost of the dog or whatever it was the spirit of the dog has not followed you to your current property no it was a worry you know because some of us said that you know knowing what dogs are like yeah absolutely did you enjoy doing the prize tasks? Was that something that you had fun coming up with? Yeah, I did. I enjoyed them more than the tasks. Just a lot less pressure, you know,

and we're in a nice environment. It was kind of carpeted, which I liked. Viscerally, is that a word? The tasks were hard, you know. Yeah. It wasn't, you know, we were on an island in Kavos. We were off a motorway in Surrey for a lot of them. And then every now and again, we'd go somewhere quite night, you know.

Yeah. Like in a stately home, the grounds. But they wouldn't let you sort of make a day of it or anything now you're quite harsh yeah it is quite harsh they just shut you in a little room don't they um your uh prize for this week was a quiche lorraine and for you that that raises a lot of questions about the the origins of the name Quiche Lorraine, correct? Yeah, yes, yeah. So those were the questions that you were talking about raising, same mistake, Diane and Rogan Josh.

Yeah, I do believe that it wasn't meant to be called Quiche Lorraine. Someone overhead, you know, someone overhead, someone offering a quiche to Lorraine. To Lorraine, yeah um how many questions does this raise because the the prize task was that raises the most questions is the only question it raises how how did the name quiche Lorraine come about or do you have any more questions about quiche Lorraine that you want to get out off your chest now I think um i think well it's it's one big question isn't it so um you know whereas obviously sue's had that awfully phallic uh dog shoe talk yes i do like sue by the way

she's wonderful sue will have the right of reply she will come on this podcast so you get you by all means completely put the boot in on her, but we will let her know and then she'll have the right of reply if that's okay. Yeah, of course. Yeah, I mean, obviously, her's raised a lot of questions. Yes, yeah. But I think mine raised a very big, important question.

Yeah, and I liked it and it did very well in the studio it was a and look i think always good to go with an edible thing uh an edible prize for greg you know he likes his food quiche lorraine i'm sure he loves a bit of quiche um but let's talk about the dog to toy the dog to toy the dog chew toy uh that sue brought in uh that as alex pointed out looked like two penises end to end. I think one of the main questions that was raised in the studio is you smell the end of it you smell

the end of it and I don't think anyone in the studio actually noticed. I think that's got to be it because they've looked back at the footage and gone Lucy smelled the end of that but no one mentions it in the studio at all. No they don't do they know I think it had moved on yeah which is somehow worse that there is footage of you smelling that but there's no reaction from anyone that to me feels almost embarrassing it is embarrassing isn't it I remember once I was in music and it was the first year of high school and you know on the um not the glockenspiel you

know the uh you know xylophone you know that thing you hit it with yeah and it has like a rubber ball at the end yeah i put that in my mouth to see what it tastes like just just to see and i've never ever i'm 40 and I've never forgot it tasted like um armpit like like an armpit taste that stayed with me the rest of the day yeah that's because someone out the person in the class before you put it in their armpits see what it felt like oh god do you think god knows where that had been all those kids yeah i know i know and it was a bit like i knew i shouldn't but i just had to and it was a bit like that with the dog chew toy i just needed to see if it smelled of vaginas

and what's the verdict it didn't but then she did say she had washed it so we'll never really we'll never know we'll never know also it's the i mean it may have looked like a sex toy type thing but the business the business end was all at the wrong end right so i don't think it's a very practical one if it was no no no but it's good to be you know investigate these you know just it's just be quizzical that you know that my dad always said you know you have to ask questions in life you too and he i am i would definitely watch like an hour long uh louis theroux style documentary where you're the host and you're sort of going into sex shops and investigating things. And it's just you smelling everything for an hour plus. Yeah, I do that in home bargains as well.

Now, Sue only got two points for the dog toy. You got three points for the Quiche Lorraine. Susan did the worst, though. I mean, Susan, since the beginning of this series, I noticed on day one that uh she brought her prize and you could see in her eyes that she just thought i've misjudged this i don't think this is the right tack with the prizes and it happened again this week she just she took it she took it very sincerely straight down the line uh present that raised the most

questions her brother bought her a snickers bar. There's no real story to that. She just brought it in and it was almost immediately one point. But this is part of the reason I think Susan is so good on the show. She just plays everything just totally with her heart, open-hearted.

She loves it. She's laughing her way through it. I think she's brilliant. What was Susan like to hang out with on the show? She's an absolute joy. She's like a breath of fresh air. Honestly, every single person was just really sort of wonderful. hang out with on the show oh she's an absolute joy she's like a breath of fresh but honestly every single person was like just really sort of like wonderful um you know like but but yeah no

she just she yeah she was just being a being herself but i think that that way of playing it it did it did win greg round you know a couple of times like she did she did win a few times but no she um but i don't i think she put a lot of thought into it as well but i think that was the best she could come up with uh julian um the legend that is julian clary brought in a cock collage that was presented to him after his show at the bloomsbury theatre uh and it's four foot four foot tall and he hangs it over the door of his spare bedroom I mean this is when you book Clary this is the sort of thing you're after right what a what a prize oh totally yeah they were you're just waiting for him to mention Norman Lamont

he topped us like whatever we did he could top us with like less words you know that like you know this he's just a pro but he's got like what how many more years on it like of course yeah these tests i can imagine what his house is like because he would just um fine i think just as he was leaving he just managed to pick up well i mean this and the bum table from episode one you're really putting uh putting together a blueprint of julian's house in your mind uh and there's a lot of sexual organs everywhere oh yeah yeah there's all sorts but he's just so cool i've got him into having a gusto box so you you recommended the gusto the gusto boxes to him yes and now him and his partner they have they have a gusto box every

week he sent me a picture of it I know it's lovely I didn't think he liked me at first um but I feel like he wanted to me by the end I'm sure even with the amount of experience that Julian has going into a new situation with four people that he doesn't necessarily know that it probably takes it always takes a day to warm up doesn't it

and then that never came across on the show at the point that you were all of course you and Julian were in a team together as well um but you just all seem to get on like a house on fire oh no by the by the point of their live shows yeah I didn't feel like he was family yeah just better dressed um and Sam uh who gets the five points brings in the thesaurus of English. And he's got a thesaurus and he's put a question mark after every single word.

It is a present he's been given and it now raises the most questions, literally. It took him three days and five pens. This is a banging effort, isn't it? You can't argue with that can you it was like it was like you can't even say like you know like oh what's what or stuff because it was sort of so left field but i never found out like had he really had he done that himself i wonder if he paid do you think yeah he's very committed to everything he does sam will throw himself into i have no doubt that sam did that himself he needs kids you don't you can't do that when you can't yeah that is very much the prize of someone who

does not have children he's got a lot of time on his hands and he uses it absolutely uselessly so jealous i want to sit for three days and put question marks in the thesaurus. So it was five points for Sam, four points for Julian, three points for you, Lucy, two points for Sue, and one point for Susan. I'm an ambassador for Battersea Dogs and Cats Home. Sometimes I foster little dogs for them. And a couple of weeks ago I fostered a tiny dog

in the car park as I was taking receipt of the little thing, this was handed over, OK? This is bigger than the dog that I fostered. It does raise the question. It does. What questions does it raise to you, Alex? I suppose it's why... Why does it look like two penises put together? It does. Someone had to say it.

Is it a sex time suit? Well, this... I mean, in many ways, we've got to the nub. Task one, get the ball in the hole. Nothing may touch the ball. After you touch one tool, you may not touch another tool for one minute. If you decide to touch the welly,

you must only do so with your foot. wins your time starts now um now this i thought was a bit cheeky lucy that alex was hiding the hole with his leg i thought that was it almost felt like cheating it didn't feel like a fair playing field it wasn't a fair playing field or a level playing field either because of all it no it was mean it was mean of him but he does that every now and again doesn't he to create tension he does but i think normally the tasks you know you you could you could have a fair shot at it i think this, it's deliberately obscuring something, which feels wrong to me, especially when he says it's by a red flag and he's hiding that red flag under his trousers.

I think that, to me, is just bullying, and I don't think it's fair. What can we do about it? Well, you know, I've found doing this podcast, Lucy, I can rant and rave all I like, but it changes nothing. Does it not? No. Does it not go, but you are people not go but you are people you've got people i've got people yeah but the my people are also the taskmaster people and

unfortunately taskmaster is a much more profitable product than i am i'm the little man in this situation um but it was a fantastically entertaining uh task to watch my first thought was just because i was a bit of an oaf on Taskmaster, very sort of heavy-handed, I would have tried to rip the leaf blower off the welly situation so I could have just used the leaf blower with my hands. I was very destructive.

Yeah, I was surprised how many people didn't. I thought everyone would put the leaf blower on. Yes. I was very glad you did. It was, yeah. But it looks mad, doesn't it?

I really didn't like that. Well, you didn't do badly on it at all. I mean, you used a leaf blower, Welly, and it was successful for you. I mean, Greg said he could have watched you do that for a long time uh you've everyone found the hole which is good i think by the end alex was like it feels unfair we got to make sure people see it you certainly did better than susan and sue again sue spends so long playing the instruments she gets into it so much i think this is like you were saying about the famous five energy.

She's just so happy to be there and have things to play with that. She wastes a lot of time just living her dreams. She bloody loved it. You could see, she just loved getting stuck in like it, like a, like a girl, like a girl,

like, you know, not in a, in a nice way. Yeah. It was amazing. I think so. Some of us, like most hats were just a char i found them quite traumatic most of them like i just wanted to get it over with i felt like i was

being judged yes you were you were but i was but sue didn't feel like that. No. I think Sue is such a professional and is such a brilliant broadcaster and has been doing it for such a long time that I don't think she worried about the judgment element. She certainly is not worrying about winning in the tasks. She is just, she'd like to be as entertaining as possible whilst also doing things successfully. She does get annoyed with Alex.

So when he hides the flag, she calls him an absolute anus and a prize anus. So she has some competitiveness. Oh, yeah, she does. And I think her and Susan, they weren't intimidated by him, like maybe me and Sam was. And of course, Julian hated his buns.

Hated the essence of him. Yeah, absolutely. And that comes across beautifully. And I think sometimes I worry about that attitude. And very rarely have people had it where they go for Alex or they're annoyed with Alex. But with Julian, it works so well because I think it's genuine.

He does find Alex just quite annoying. Yeah, yeah. Alex's face sometimes is an absolute picture. Yeah. Susan does do some investigating, which is good, and finds the right hole, but it doesn't help her. It's 8 minutes 34 for her. She only gets the two points.

Sam, I mean, Sam turns up in those weird sunglasses that i've seen him wearing in a pub before um he lives this sam lives this this is his life um he tries to summon the creatures of the forest uh and uh eventually uses the wood bellows which which I think is quite a good choice. What do you think the best choice was? Because obviously you went with the leaf blower. Do you feel like you would have done better with another tool or were you happy with the leaf blower? I did like, I liked Sam's.

I felt it just went with the sort of background, the environment. Yeah, totally. And Julian tries the wood bellows, then the hose um stops briefly to say that alex has the charisma of matt hancock but absolutely nails it this is this is incredible because if you once i saw this for the first time julian's so slow and deliberate and relaxed with everything he does that i would assume that that he takes the longest by far. I would have thought there'd just be loads of stuff

that had been edited out where he's just sort of languidly going through things. But he just gets on with it. Three minutes, 25, five points. Yeah, it does. It's almost like all the sort of bitterness helps him. Yeah, totally. Helps him sort of focus.

But it's almost, I think a lot of comedians come to this and then go oh my god it was so weird i've never done anything like this before but julian has done so much in his career that i wonder whether this just feels like another day at work for him i think you're right i think i mean it just come off panto that must have been weird yeah i'm turning the west end and then yeah then doing this. Yeah, maybe nothing phases you when you've been on stage doing Panto at the Palladium for a full season. Oh, totally, yeah.

And just being in the 80s as a TV comic. It was mad just being a child. Can you imagine being a celebrity around that time? Oh, the things have got up to. He's seen a lot. Oh, yeah. Not the first time he's used the wood bellows in a hose, I'd imagine.

So it was five points for Julian, four points for Sam, three points for you, Lucy. Very consistent so far this episode. Two points for Susan and one point for Sue. How does it make you feel about Alex Horne when you discover that he's led

you to puff your ball towards a non-existent hole? Yeah, a foul little snake, yeah. Foul little snake. Now we're getting there. Julian actually said afterwards that I've got the charisma of Matt Hancock. Well, I was roused by then. I could imagine.

You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats, but meatballs and mozzarella balls. Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Task two, get underneath the most unique things. Alex will write down your thing when you shout, I am underneath it. if you get underneath something that someone else gets underneath you both you both lose five things from your total you have 10 minutes your time starts now you look disappointed for me to even bring this task up Lucy well we know it don't we it was ridiculous I honestly this is where this show sort of brings

you down a peg or two I thought whilst I I was doing it, I thought this is genius. I am absolutely going to nail this because no one, there is not one person who would ever do this that would think of staying in the room and getting underneath things how wrong I was. I was so gutted to see it back because I thought this is the one that I'm going to shine this was your one this was your one that when you left the house you were like I can't wait

because I know I've nailed it yeah just in term of sort of thinking uh you know like that sort of um logical outside the but that sort of lateral yeah it was just clever I thought I thought I was clever yes well uh Susan thought the same thing uh because exactly does it they must have been the editors must have been absolutely over the moon when they saw your footage back with Susan's because the editing on it is so perfect even to the extent that when you're both under the table they use your front and Susan's back and it looks like one person it's so funny um but also i i get your thought because obviously there's two things at play in this task there's the amounts of things you get under but also the added pressure that someone else is going to pick them so you're trying to pick things that you don't think other people will pick

i think sam had the right idea here by not worrying about the second half. He went for quantity of things rather than worrying about other people. And that was the smart thing to do because he gets under 74 things. Lucy, you got under 12. Under 12, but they were hard to get under. It took time to get under. I just thought, especially like one, you know, there's like that sort of it's like a cabinet that was so hot like because I pride myself on being able to get in things

it's you know because I am five foot one and I and as and as we uh know at my um legs or arms so they fold so you know um know, a drum kit, the case that you put the drum in, I can get in that. And you put the lid on me. Do you get in one of those to put the xylophone stick in your mouth? Yeah. Oh, don't bring that back.

I can taste it now. Lucy, that's not going anywhere. That's going to follow you for your whole career. Now, I agree with you. I agree that the things you got under were difficult, but the difficulty level of the things to get under was not at play here. And I think you just had to gun it

and do as many things as possible. But 12 things in 10 minutes, must have been moving pretty pretty slowly well I mean I'm four I mean you know 40 and I don't know there's just he's staring at you I think if Alex wasn't in the room he does I'm sure people have said it before he really puts you off you know because he's just got that I don't know people like him yeah I don't know anyone like him I think he's not like if if if I could relate to him it'd be different yeah but he's he's sort of otherworldly isn't he yeah I completely agree so you're saying it's Alex's fault that you only got totally Alex's fault yeah and then I'm also looking out for you know I am always looking out for danger

um you know obstacles and it's been you know like you know them little dogs yes you know like little chihuahuas and you know like they shake and they're like they don't want people to walk behind them yeah well I'm like the little human version of them little dogs. I'm like that. When you're under like about five foot two, people don't know this, but things can fall on you. People can tread on you. I'm five foot one.

So no one understands that. I'm always looking out for, you know, holes, drain covers coming off and you go down a hole. A lot of holes. I've fell in a lot of holes. How are you around cattle grids? Oh, terrible. I can only see how little my legs are.

They're tiny. So that makes more sense now that you're getting under things. You've got Alex being weird. You're looking out for dangers because you're only small. I completely understand now. That makes sense. Thank you. Yeah.

Sam, yeah, 74 things including, and I think this will go down in Taskmaster history for me, certainly. It's one of my favorite moments so far. It was Lint followed by this one. Yeah. Just absolutely fantastic. And just, he knows he's going to be good at it at the start

and he just throws himself into it headlong. And I respect that a lot. He was born to do Testmaster. Yeah, I agree. Totally, yeah. Yeah, very, very good. Julian makes, immediately makes the cameraman lie on top of him,

just first thing, straight away. Right, cameraman. Then the sound man has to do it. Then Alex squats over him, does a few things outside. Gets a lot of the same things as Sue, actually, who also uses Alex and the cow and all of those things. Sue starts off... This is how meticulous sue is i think meticulous

is a good word for her because she doesn't just say i'm underneath it she starts trying to accurately describe each object like she's on the antiques road show yeah i know but then but then maybe she should be yeah yeah what program couldn't she do? I completely agree. I completely agree. She should be and could be booked for everything. She's a proper pro. Yeah. Which makes it a shame she has to deal with things like Alex blowing the whistle right in her ear.

I know, I know. But then off camera, I think she hit him. Good. This is what this podcast is all about, Lucy. It's about the behind-the-scenes gossip and the little tales of what happened off camera. So Sue hit Alex. That's good to know.

So it was a very well-deserved five points for Sam Campbell, four points for Julian. Again, Julian seems to be moving at the speed of a snail and still got four points in this. It's mad, isn't it? Yeah. I know, I know. It's called Sly Fox. Sly Fox, exactly.

Four points for Sue as well. And it was two points for you, Lucy, and one point for Susan, sadly. So at least in the battle of the two people who did exactly the same, you came out on top. Yeah that's that's good I was I was I was pleased about that because I I did um as I say I did think it was a genius what a fall from grace that was that's it that was the energy of a sugar-pumped toddler you employed and I thoroughly enjoyed watching it.

You just wonder, like, what is my purpose, what am I good at? And then suddenly it's like... And then, bam, there it is. Clint! This one! He got under one thing every 8.1 seconds. He got underneath 74 things. Wow.

It's brilliant. I'd like to point out how heartbreakingly sweet it was that some offered to tidy up sometimes I think I'd like to wear you in a little papoose sometimes I like to cover you in oil and hoover up the house and empty it on your oily body. Oh, yeah. And then shout, lit! Lit! Task three. Choose a... I love this task.

Choose a nickname based on something you do in the next 20 minutes. Best nickname wins. Your time started when you smiled. Did you enjoy doing this task, Lucy?

Yeah, but I don't... I Lucy? Yeah but I thought again I thought I would have come out winning a bit more on this but I did you sort of stand back and think oh I'd really like to watch other people do this and then be like oh I've got to think of something I did but again I didn't feel

like I nailed it I just wanted someone to say you've won the show well in episode three you wanted someone to say you've won the show yeah and then get a bit of confidence and then you'd be all right you know because you just don't know if you're doing if you're doing what they want you know I wanted to please them well I'll say this now Lucy you are absolutely hilarious on this show and we're only three episodes in and I think you've already marked yourself out as you know one of the best contestants and one of the funniest contestants uh in Taskmaster history so I would say you're absolutely giving them what they want which is to be very very entertaining in terms of doing well in the tasks, not necessarily all of the time,

but you can't do well all of the time, right? You need to have the full range. And this was great because just the moment of you finding all of the wigs in the cupboard, like who knew there were wigs in that cupboard? And the fact you found them, you came alive. You absolutely came alive. You saw those wigs and that cupboard and the fact you found them you came alive you absolutely came alive you saw those wigs and the brain started ticking and I thought what's gonna go what's gonna go on here it was oh no yeah and I got into it I mean the the the magic of editing because that went on a long time and I got really I really I got really into it i thought i was in the

sex pistols really i was rocking rocking that caravan and then i did eat you know i did eat um shrubbery as well yes at the end that was real yeah anarchy you're the way you saw anarchy unfolding was you know i think anarchy technically is probably you know the community looking after themselves and no need for any sort of any outside uh officials or power structures that uh that are prone to corruption etc but you interpreted anarchy as eating a tree while wearing a top hat yeah and i did yeah and i was really high up yeah i shouted it across the surrey plains was that quite was that was that a freeing experience for you to it was as i said then it was lunch and we all sat together and all that and and

well you already you'd already eaten as well so i doubt you managed much exactly but i love seeing the others i think i fell in love with all the other contestants when i watched theirs because i was like oh god you're all we're quite odd as well you know um like like i mean sam's incredible but i love But I love Susan's as well. I just thought that I did just think, gosh, everyone thinks outside the box, you know. They totally do and in a totally different way. And let's talk about Susan's because I'm beginning to spot a trend here

with Susan where you've obviously got Sam who's like outrageously odd sometimes and willfully. You are odd in a different way, in a sort of understated way. And I think because of you and Sam, sometimes how weird Susan is, is slightly goes under the radar. Because this,

this chain bastard is so odd. But I loved it. It's a shame it didn't get more. If I was in charge of giving the points, Chain Bastard would have been up there, you know, up there joint with you maybe. Just to call herself Chain Bastard. Yeah, you saw her dark side.

You know, yeah, dark side to her. Yeah, yeah. She's got depth, hasn't she? She's got depth. She would always sort of, you know, single herself out by sort of reminding us, I am the trained theatre actress. Yeah. You are, old clown.

And this is where I think you saw, you know, just how multi-talented she is. I think she's going to be writing a prison drama next. Yeah, absolutely. I'd love to see a full-length drama about chain bastard chain bastards backstory how chain but well we know how chain bastard ended up in jail from being a chain bastard exactly don't call your kid chain bastard and then wonder why they didn't become an accountant very funny but only two points julian gets the one point um

because i think this this is where julian's uh lack of effort came back to bite him called himself butch and hit the table i mean very funny moment where he hit the table and then two seconds later it collapsed um i think his first instinct i mean this is why I love Julian Clary, to say my nickname used to be Fuck Pig. It was so good. But that's it. I think sometimes what we get out of Julian is just genuine, like genuine fucking hilarious belly laughs and not necessarily a good approach to the task

because he just hit the table, called himself Butch and that was it. But that's fine. That's all we need from him. I don't think he realised I wondered if he'd seen it before. No offence that he didn't quite know that

it would even be televised. I suspect he has not seen it before. We've not had Julian on the podcast yet. I think we should be having him in a future episode, fingers crossed or feet crossed, but we'll see. And given last week's episode where the code word was Widdicombe and you had to take the sword out of the stone,

I would suspect he'd not seen the show before because he did not know anyone who was on it. know I know but I loved that I loved that I loved you calling the WI as well to momentarily go go away from this uh this task um the fact you got so in your head about what the conspiracy would be that leads you to the leads you to the code word that you actually called the W-I was perfect. Yeah, I was struggling. I needed to speak to a well-rounded woman. Compared to... Julie was a bit annoyed about his production level,

but if you don't ask for it on Taskmaster, you don't get it. So Sue obviously went full in with the cowboy thing and shot the cans off Alex's head. production level uh but if you don't ask for it on taskmaster you don't get it um so sue obviously went full in with the cowboy thing and shot the cans off alex's head uh and lasso's the cow all to build up to lasso perkins which i thought was a fantastic amount of effort for i'd say a semi-weak pun but it was brilliant oh totally like how could you not fancy sue after that it was just amazing slick very very you want to be in their life yeah yeah um it's three points because uh lucifer the rock god obviously very very strong uh and then sam goes out on the street i mean his first i wish they'd gone with his first

suggestion which is he touches a lot of stuff so he's called touchy um yeah it's the first time i've seen alex actively deny something on taskmaster where he's gone no you're not doing that yeah yeah it's true um but he basically strong-armed a cyclist into giving him the nickname dr cigarettes uh but i'm presuming they weren't allowed to show cigarettes on screen or no one had any cigarettes because Dr Cigarettes didn't have a cigarette. No, but that was like, you know, like, oh, wow, you got to go outside, you know? I couldn't believe he wangled that. I think that's, like, strength of character

because I'm sure if anyone else asked, he must have done it in such a way that they're like, well, we're just going to have to let him yeah brilliant I'd imagine with Sam he was suggesting so much stuff that they didn't want to do that they had to get away with something now and again

maybe that's it yeah I think it must be you've got to throw him a bone now and again so he went with Dr Cigarettes and obviously Dr Cigarettes has a very gravelly voice presumably from all the cigarettes this knew this is so up greg street it's so hard to put my finger on it but dr cigarettes is a nickname you can see greg light up every time he said it out loud like it's so up greg street so it was five points to dr cigarettes four points to you lucifer the rock god three points to lasso perkins, two points for Chain Bastard, and one point for Butch slash Fuck Pig.

I'm glad that you spelled out Lucy's nickname so clearly because I presumed it was going to be institutionalised for her own safety. And what symbolises anarchy better than the biting of a fir tree? Have you had much of a period of genuine anarchy in your life ever? No, never, no. You've never really let loose? I've tried to just do what I'm told. Yeah? What's the

most rebellious thing you've ever done? Once threw a poo out of a window. Yeah, and off the balcony. Why did you throw a poo off the balcony? Put it in a bag. Yeah, why? Because I couldn't flush it and I didn't want off off the balcony why did you throw a poo put it in a bag yeah why because i couldn't flush it and i didn't want people to pick on me let's talk about the studio task one member of your team must lie on three of the squares and go to sleep after they have taken their position they must not move until the task is over

taking it in turn the other team members must try to land their cushion in each of the three sleep squares. First team to strike out the sleeper wins. A fun studio task. Did you enjoy doing the studio tasks, Lucy? Well, do you know, it sounds mad, but, like, I don't feel that there was much competition between us. We started to want to be like a family.

I didn't really – I wanted everyone to win. much competition between us. We started to want to be like a family. I didn't really, I wanted everyone to win. So I genuinely didn't like to compete against them in the tasks. That's nice. But then I got really into it. There's obviously, with this, it's battleships. Yeah. You say in the studio that you momentarily thought it was guess who that you were doing yeah yeah and it and i i played battleship i mean i used to play

because i'm from a fishing family so my um granddad and uncles you know great because they all went to sea so if i played battleships my granddad he'd be like oh I remember when the sun so went down and the triple trawler tragedy where they all lost their life So this actually brought back quite good memories because you're talking to your granddad but also

bad memories of the triple trawler tragedy Yeah he'd be like oh I remember Alan got washed overboard and washed back on again and ruined battleship i think this is a friendlier version of battleship so i really i think i feel like if you've got enough room at home this will be the sort of thing that you could play people could play at home don't you oh it's so clever like they're just i don't know how they think of them but yeah especially like schools like i i'm happy to give up comedy and i'll just go around schools just playing test master games with kids i think it'd be such a lovely life oh it really would be

that'd be great i will say with this one we don't need to say how did they come up with it because not only is it a ripoff of battleships i believe it's also featured on i can't remember which one but either the new zealand series or the australian series um this is one of the ones that's a transplant from one of the international versions but it's so brilliant it works it works so well it's the perfect taskmaster studio game and of course your your team wins uh It's five points for each of you and nought points for the Siouxs, which seems harsh because they did get some hits.

They got very flappy though, didn't they? We're just, I think we're just, we persevered, you know. Yes. We were like the RE ref and they were like they were like um the army yes i think they um as a team though they definitely not that they got on better but they seem to they made more sense as a team um i'm just going to hark back briefly to the first meeting of your team, JLS, or the Natural Friends, as Greg put it.

It was awkward, Lucy. Did it feel as awkward when you were actually there? It was awkward. I mean, we have worked together before, Red. I don't think you would say i was not awkward as a person i wouldn't certainly awkward wouldn't pop into my mind lucy not at all no but i i think i think it was the combination of all three of you together just brewed up this this this potent potion of sam being very weird and awkward uh julian julian not really caring and clearly having no idea what was going

on or who you two were and then you just being quite polite and you know quiet when you arrived it just those silences those silences and sam just going oh great when he was told that you were a team just perfect perfectly julian thought i was a runner on the show you know that was going to have to ask him if he wanted a cup of tea and I would say it's the first time in history that people have gone from having that awkward to a first meeting

to cutting each other's hair off that quickly within a minute a massive bit still really short yes so five points for your team and nought points for the Siouxs meaning as this episode ends it is Sam who takes home another victory

24 points Julian not far behind on 19 you on 17 Sue on 10 and a woeful six for Susan meaning that in the series Sam is in the lead with 57 Julian very close behind on 54 bit of a drop off there sue on 42 you on 40 and susan on 39 um thank you so much lucy for coming on the task

master podcast we absolutely love you on this you're a fantastic task master contestant um we hope you've had a nice time talking about it and it wasn't too horrible to bring up those memories. It was wonderful talking about it. The more you talk, the better. It's important to talk things through. Absolutely. Thank you. And who knows, if we hadn't spoken about this, then no one would know the xylophone stick story.

No, true. Lucy, we always ask our guests on the Taskmaster podcast to rate their experience on the podcast between one and five points in the style of the Taskmaster we of course hope you've had a nice time chatting to me but be honest please rate your experience on the pod between one and five points um I think um it sort of grew to a five it started about two dip dip dip to one that's 50 minutes in and then and then really really took off i think the second half of the podcast yes um so would would be uh and then average if it was so 4.5 4 4.6. Yeah. Absolutely fantastic. I will take that and it's good to end on a high.

Thank you so much, Lucy. Before we go, I'll just let everyone know that you have a tour coming up, don't you? The Trouble and the Strife, is that what it's called? I do, yeah. Yeah, October till December. Yeah, this year, yeah. Fantastic.

So go onto Lucy's website and buy tickets for that because I'd imagine the series is underway now they are going to be in very very short supply thank you so much Lucy thank you thanks Ed take care you too bye

thank you so much to Lucy for coming on the show it was fantastic to talk to her she lived up to what I was hoping for and more Lucy's going on tour you should go and check out her website for more details of that. I'm sure there will be a mad scrabble for tickets

when everyone cotton's on how great she is on the show. So, Taskmaster Series 16 continues airing next week, 9 o'clock, Channel 4 on Thursday. Come straight back to wherever you listen to your podcasts. Immediately afterwards for a breakdown of the episode with our special guest next week who is

the wonderful Julian Clary Julian Clary of course an amazing contestant on this series of Taskmaster and just just a living legend National Trej so we'll be chatting to Julian next week about episode 4 but for now bye bye Bye-bye. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats.

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