Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 144. Sue Perkins - S16 Ep.5

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

Gang, it's Sue Perkins on this week's episode of the Taskmaster Podcast! Ed and Sue talk Fish Sausages/ Cakes, Sue's moment of genius bursting the balloon and why she loved being in a team with life long friend Susan Wokoma. Watch all of Taskmaster on All 4www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmasterVisit the Taskmaster Store for all your TM goodies!taskmasterstore.com Visit the Taskmaster YouTube Channelyoutube.com/taskmaster Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Imagine how lonely it can feel to be facing mental illness or addiction on your own. Now imagine how lonely it might feel during the holidays. That's why CAMH needs your help to light the way forward. Your donation can help us make sure no one is left behind by fueling progress in mental health care and patient experience. Donate now at camh.ca slash giving Tuesday to double your impact with a match donation. That's camh.ca slash giving Tuesday. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast, it's me, Ed Gamble, the host of the Taskmaster podcast. Very excitingly today we'll be talking about series 16 episode 5 with the wonderful Superkins, who's of course a contestant on this series of taskmasters, she's absolutely brilliant Superkins, you know her, she's a national trash. Very excited that Sue's going to be chatting about her experience on

Taskmaster and this episode specifically. I hope you've watched the episode. It's of course Thursday's 9pm channel four. We are now halfway through the series. Where is the time gone? Let's, I mean, let's crack on with it. You guys know the drill. We're going to go through the episode. We're going to chat to Sue. It's going to be a lot of fun. This is Taskmaster, Series 16, Episode 5, as discussed by Superkins. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hello, you. This is very exciting, Sue. To have you on the Taskmaster podcast,

you're, of course, a wonderful contestant on the series, 16 of Taskmaster. We're now halfway through. We're halfway through the series, can you believe it? I know, at one point I thought that my deep disprax here would mean I wouldn't actually complete the various obstacle courses presented to me. There was a lot of tripping over and sort of gallaging myself on rogue props that thankfully they haven't put in the edit. There was a lot of tripping, lots of stumbling,

and a lot of just not understanding anything that's going on around me. They deliberately don't want you to understand things going on around you, and you're wonderful when you don't understand the things. I mean, I think you call Alex all sorts of names under the sun in episode one, even. You're absolutely giving it to him both barrels. There's not enough barrels for Alex. And the thing is he loves it as well. If you call him an anus or something, you can see the list of smiles start to creep

around his face. He loves it. He loves to be treated mainly. Well, between you and Julian, this series, he gets plenty of mean treatment, I think. And he gets, I love him. And yes, I love him. No, because he's always, there's mixery, which I, you know, when you get a task, you know, you just want to, you have an idea of what you're going to try and do. And there's, he's always tried to stime me in a very subtle way. And whatever the level, the playing, the opposite of level the

play, make the playing field as uneven as possible. There's even more of that this series, I think. I'm thinking particularly about the golf ball and the golf hole task where he was standing on the hole to obscure it from you. I believe that's where you brought out the the the anus name. Yeah, I mean, I deployed the anus.. Yeah, I mean, I I deployed the anus. I mean, I usually deploy it in those sorts of situations where someone's deliberately obscuring a sparkle object. So, um, but I spent about 40 minutes roaming around with the Getty

Estates because that was filmed at the old John Paul Getty Estates. Oh, wow. It's an extraordinary place. So there's sort of billionaire kind of bought up most of Oxfordshire, gated it and then has got sort of an opera venue and a sort of replica of lords and anyway we were we were within the and I just wandered freely throughout and then came back after about 45 minutes and then he just moved and I could see it and I'm like just as spies you moves and I can see it and I'm like, just as spies you, I despise you.

And I played the pamphlets from off and out, which didn't climp thank God, because it's not my forte. Your energy on the show is quite incredible. You seem to slip into different modes, depending on the task. I'm thinking, of course, of the army general. The army general's made quite a few appearances. Yes, didn't know that was in me, really. I don't normally have that pluck. Yes, army general, but it's sort of quite dad's army in terms of the army with Cluster. Yeah. Shouting and briskness, but incompetency, backed by pure incompetency I'd say. And when you're with when you're with Susan the the sort of the famous five

brownie energy the dancing around so excited to see each other and that was that genuinely the first time you'd you'd met each other when you when you met on the team day? Yeah, never met her before. Loves her. She knows what she's done. I think she's super cool and extremely talented and just skips and hops when I saw her and I was lucky the feeling was kind of mutual. So yeah, we just, we just, from the get-go, just prowled up. It was really lovely, really lovely.

So yeah, so at the end of the year, everything you see is very much, you know, how we were feeling in the moment. I was watching episode five yesterday and just, at one point, I do I just jump in the air and sort of pat her. What are you doing? It's like a sort of, like, I go from sort of capibora and kind of very sedentary to suddenly sort of springing kangaroo. She brings out the best to me. She's a good egg. Had you seen much taskmaster before you agreed to do the show? Were you a fan of the show beforehand? Yeah, I mean, I not sort of slavishly sat down and watched all of it, but I when presented with an array of programming as you are, really evening, if that was on,

I'd always been my favorite. And so I've seen bits of all the series and I've always wanted to do it and there were a couple of series that I was also doing I couldn't because I was down a river or something in the middle of nowhere but do you know what things always work out for a reason and I think that I was meant to do this one because the people are just gorgeous. Oh was such a happy show. There was no real sense of competition and everyone geled really nicely. I mean, you might have heard differently. There might be some people who even interviewed you. It was super keen on winning, but I've never really got sense of that. No, I think everyone's given me the same sort of opinion on it. I mean, I think, yeah, I think there is definitely more competitive people,

but I think this is a series where they either obscured it quite well or realised that it wasn't the bill and end all was winning. Yeah, I don't think so. I mean, you've got you obviously a bit of participant, very successful participant and you've seen them more and you know, of detail. Does it appear like a happy bunch? Definitely. Oh, 100%. And also, it's such an interesting bunch of people as well. I mean, I think it always is on Taskmaster, but this, like I'm thinking especially when the other team meet, it's such a, you go, wow, these people are all very different in very odd ways. But it works, it works.

It really does, and it was really smart, I think, to pair those three energies together because it's a gamble gamble because as you say they're also completely themselves. You know they're just smart, fully realized people with their own vibe and that could have mischined but instead it's just this wonderful curious sort of trio. I mean I could watch them forever to be honest and then you just cut to me and soon to squealing. And dancing. Lots of dancing. Now we interviewed Julian last week and we were talking about your

sausages. The sausages you had to make. Yes. They went down very well in the studio, you got the five points. There was some there was some consternation in the chat last week about your sausages. Me and Julian both agree that what you apparently invented and should be sold in shops are fish cakes. Now I'm going to break this down. I make two sausages and I'm going to give it to you that one of them was a fish cake because it was fried. I've been admittedly in a sausage-y shape. And of course that's a whole lot of discussion.

What is a sausage? Is it just something served in a long spherical tube? Well anyway, shape. One was fried and I'll give you that and I sense Julian I've never seen Julian's angry. I'm like chill out There was one that I did In a very chefy way, which was like a pate that I Basically, you'll know what's that posh sausage you make with cling film? But these were the B

Oh, no, I shouldn't you know the one I mean I know the one you mean. Yeah, it'll come to me later Yeah, so you've rolled us in cling know the one I mean. I know the one you mean, yeah. It'll come to me later. Yeah. So you roll us in cling film and then I poached it. Wow. So because they didn't show the process. They didn't show the process. Oh, let me take you through the process.

I blitzed with whatever, there was a like a neutral bullet. And can I tell you that the nutrients aren't designed for a heavy sip? That'd be so expensive. That got jammed into a paste of life, which I don't want to ever see again. So I put some smoked salmon, some bits and gobs, some white fish,

and stuff, egg. And then, yeah, I rolled it in cling film until it made a sausage-ish shape, but it was all kind of tightly done. And then I poached it for about, I don't know, five minutes. And that came out as a pure sausage. So, I think Julian's better than that, as all I'm saying.

I was, as I say, a sense of grumbling. I'm like, cat-mad in love, because you're a gentleman. You don't need to behave like that. He obviously didn't say anything in the studio, but what he did is he saved it up, he saved it up, deep down in his stomach until he came on the taskmaster podcast, and then as soon as that task came up,

he just went for you, he went for the jugular. Yeah, he did, he were rumbling to the studio, I did hear him, I didn't just fish cake, and I thought, right, we'll have this all won't, right? And also, especially in the context of what we now know in episode five, where I take an absolute solid hit for the man, so I want the history books to show

that not only did I ban Maria sausage in Tim film, let's leave the other one, which was paid me a weird cheap fishcake, but I brought in Boyd's home. So yeah, I mean, it's I'm gentlemanly if I'm too carried on in this manner. Well, we'll discuss the taking taking the hit for him at the end because I don't think you did it on purpose. Okay, the I'm dead you question myself. The prize task this week is the best thing that has five things on it. Quite tricky, quite tricky category at this one, I think. Yeah, it was. I actually found all the prize tasks

quite, quite gnarly. I don't know if you did when you were on, but there was someone that required almost too much thought, I don't. And you get a little bit bamboos on the lost in your own thought process. But this one just came from the memory of replacing the innards of a toy that had been disemboweled by my dog who'd been getting the wrong swaker. And the funny things, it's fair to say, I got so overwhelmed with the story element, the treasure top didn't have five things on it, and multiple things on it. I mean, it had a crest of, it had a weird sort of crest of sort of horns, and then it had obviously the big ones on the back. It was an absolute mess, it was a carzy of a challenge for me.

I am amazed I got away with it. I feel like, you said at the end that, oh, you used to have five spikes on it. Was that just was that a lie to try and get around it? No, it did, it did have, but the point is that I didn't bring that in. No. So I sort of felt, no, that was genuine, but at the time I looked back at it, it's like, at the time I was quite like, but of course I had five things on it. I mean, I looked back and go, well, how's Greg's supposed to believe that? I actually thought he was very kind in that. And I thought he was very unkind to Lucy.

I thought hers was it an exceptional, exceptional offering. Well, I just think it was quite confusing. So you're, you're very funny. There's a very funny story behind it and the meow and all of that. And I think to me, it felt like you had that and you got off a taskmaster and you're like, I'm going to bring this in for one of the prizes and I will try and make it work. Is what it felt like? No. I mean, there is a lot of that going on. I'm not going to lie. I thought well I can make something with five things and then I

I held onto that thought right up until the morning when I was supposed to give it in and nothing had been made. Gotcha. So I looked for the disembellter aerosol. But understandably over time, just a sort of flaccid, crocheted, sort of dinosaur sock puppet as they've now looked. It's not the sort of thing that you carry with you over time, it gets bent off. So they re-created it. So it's very hard for me, as you say, to prove the provenance. Yes, of course. You're just going to have to go on my good nature, is. I know that's not true. Happy to. Yeah, you mentioned Lucy's, I mean, Lucy's was a Yorkshire melon, which was a melon with five Yorkshire puddings stuck in it and then

also the word things five times on the back. I mean, I mean, I was enjoyed it as an image, but what I didn't enjoy was hearing that Lucy puts Greek yogurt in Yorkshire puddings. What I didn't enjoy was hearing that Lucy puts Greek yoga in Yorkshire puddings. No, I didn't enjoy that either, but I can extract to it because some people put horse sort of wet horse radishes and roast beef on it. So it can contain wetness quite magnificently. It's not the containing of the wetness that I was worried about. That it's the fact that it's Greek yoga. It's the type of wetness that was upsetting me. Yeah, it's a very weird choice of wetness, isn't it? Because it's bordering on, okay, I'm going to tell you what upsets me about that. May you open this scene of conversation?

Is there's no completion of it? It's it's it's it's but uncomfortably with Greek yogurt in it. Yeah. Twix savory and sweet. Yes. And I'm uncomfortable with it with it's struggling both of those realities. I want you to put some strawberries on it and have done. Yeah. Or I want you to put some smoked salmon on it and have done. But just the practice got no other topping means it's in a hinterland. Plain you're getting hinterland. Yeah, and I was I was not aware I thought so strongly about it. That's still really strongly about it. But I just everything Lucy does I love so I mean Klein to always feel very positive about that but you're right but it's totally sincere so therefore I've never seen if she's done belt and braces on it. She's got right, if the, if the,

the sort of weird Yorkshire pudding hedgehog doesn't smash Greg, we'll just turn it around and then there's the joke of the fine thing. Yeah. It's so good. She's very funny. Well, she's just a beautiful, beautiful human. She got two points for that.

Sam got the one point for a pluck a duck. Yes. Which I mean, it does sound made up. But everything Sam says, I assume he's invented. Yes, but I don't think that's always the case. I love about Sam, there's a rolling opportunity about real things that are actually happening. So the fact that Julian said he'd been on it. Yeah. It felt like it might be real, although of course Julian might have just been helping out in that moment. I think it is real, but just the way he delivers stuff, because he'll deliver stuff that he has made up in exactly the same tone of voice, it really throws everyone. And he's always got people on the back foot, Sam.

Yeah, exactly that. That's what's great there. You never know what's coming. So it's fun. I really enjoyed the exchange about the, when he tried to defend it, saying, yeah, but you have a patch in the conversion rate. And it went down even further.

I really, really enjoyed that. Yes, I mean, it was curious that you put the 10 bucks on it. Yeah. But I was prepared to accept that in Australia, there is a very, very strange duck that we've had ducks and rats and all sorts of hostess breakfast shows. Yeah, we've got to be so scathing. We've got Mr. Blobby.

We can't talk about any nation's childrenian sense of tamer we've got blobby The other we take the high ground here edges frankly repulsive Plugged up got one point sadly Julian another Wonderful trinket from his his treasure of a house. Yes. Just got so much stuff in his house that you could just pop in a bag and bring with him to the studio Yeah, I mentioned you to speak with five people on it? I mean, perfect. But you're right, he's just got such a treasure trope. The rest of us are really thinking, oh, what can we do? I just imagine that Julian's house is like the sort of

old curiosity shop and he goes, ah, I'll go to the area where I've got five things and it five naked things. And then he brings it out. He's got loads of the made chooses that one. But it was so great. Really, really good. Like a Viverium or something of needed things. I don't know what made that up. But I really, I loved it. Yeah, I really liked the fact that there's a story going on.

Who is the guy in the middle? What's his gig? Who's he looking at? But it's interesting isn't it? And that's the whole joy of the show is how does Greg navigate between just found objects and people bring in and stuff that people have made that got stories and that are all a bit desperate and hazard. But yeah, it was a great thing that. It really, really was. Very, very happy to see that. And now I want, I kind of want one in my house.

I want my new miniature, new to speech. Susan, now, Susan's not been great at PrizeTar so far in the show. And it's nice to see her finally, she seems to have got it. She's understood it now. Rather than, she's been very sincere with the price tag. She's really just, she's taken the title and she's brought the thing that most, is most relevant to that,

but she's not necessarily thought about, you know, standing out or having a weird angle or anything like this, but finally she's, she's got an advent calendar that she's created in a very utilitarian looking way. Yes, exactly. With a foot rub, a baby pick, £10, £100 charity to their nation and a poem about Greg.

She smashed this one, didn't she? At what? Everything you'd want. The charity donation made it impossible not to give the five points. There was also the sweetener of the money. There was some sort of slightly... There was an alluring component of like, he dropped his feet. Yeah. And, but as you say, it like he dropped his feet. Yeah.

And, but as you say, it was the look of it. Yeah. It just made me cry with laughter. Because you get the idea of an adent calendar and then you see this kind of this sort of, it's like a 1950s sort of Soviet silo board, isn't it? It's like, I'm just from Bucciob, you'll take. I'm just from Bich Chulb, you'll take. I really, really enjoyed it.

It was perfect, perfect, perfect. And it's just the best story of her ex, saying that she gave good foot robs because she has the hands of her midwife. Yes, good. Very good additional detail, that. Very, very good additional taste. I can see in a ferox situation how that might be a really positive,

you know, strong, but everyone's as a recoiled. My thoughts is great detail. It's not, I guess it is a compliment, but it's not necessarily what you want to hear from your partner. No, you're right. I'm just thinking about what I would feel as someone subbed to me, hands in midwife. Yeah, but there'd be supplementary questions. I'm not gonna die quite a lot. They'd go on into the night and there might be something approach to

you break up in the morning. So yeah, no, I agree. I'm reflecting I agree. Sam got one point. Lucy got two points, you got three points, four points for Julian, and the big five points for Susan. LAUGHTER This is a TV show called, hey, hey, it's Saturday. Cool, hey, hey, it's Saturday. Yeah. Hosted by Plucket Oak. By Darrell. And so he would...

So when the time came, they say, it's not a chick here, it's not a cow. It's Plucket Oak right now. And he'd come running out, and he would just stress everyone out, and Darrell would calm him down. And then you could win a car. OK. He'd come out like this.

And I thought it was four things. So I was like, oh, it's pumpkin duck. Yeah, he's coming out like this. Like this. Yeah. So that's five dollars on there. Five is $3 million. I'm very encouraged this matter. I, I, I, I put you on not the only one in the room,

we think Sam's making all of this up. You're in was on the show. I do remember going on that show, yes, not a career highlight. Let's talk about task one. Burst this balloon from the furthest distance you must not be looking at the balloon when you burst the balloon. You have 15 minutes. Your time starts now. This is a big task for you. So you must have been looking forward to this one coming up.

Well, I didn't know what it was. So it was hard for me to approach it. But as in, as in, as in the studio. Oh, yeah. Now I get you. Yes, but I didn't know how everyone else had done. You never know somebody who invented a rocket launcher and fired it from somewhere in central London and got it. But it was a very weird, it was quite a thick balloon and I thought that there was a high possibility with a medium-yank that it would just flop off the sides

and then just remain intact. So yeah, that was, I was really happy about that in the end because I did try for a while to think about, can I stab it up with something and there was a brief little move towards the shed but I sort of got put off it. I thought, well, a lot of other people are going to do that. And also, I know I'm terrible at throwing, although not, it turns out to be terrible. I actually would

have given that a good go and I'm awful. But yeah, I can't believe that you are the only one to utilize string and going off in a different direction and try and get as far away as possible. The amount of people, there were two people who threw it. And then Susan and Lucy are just jabbing it from very close up. I couldn't believe that that was their first thought.

Yes, I think, well it's interesting, isn't it? Because sometimes I've gone about tasks using first principles and been absolutely dreadful, but this one I did think about it a little bit. I thought I'm quite just practicing, so I'm not going to throw it very far. I want this to stab it up very well. And yeah, get out the way and see how far

the fishing cable went. And that's right. It's got me to the taskmaster door. So I was super happy. Absolutely. It was wonderful. Now I had a first thought about this task. Mainly I think influence. I follow an artist on Instagram, who's thing is it looks quite taskmastery. He's got a white room and he works with balloons a lot and he'll set up these like works with balloons a lot and he'll set up these like contraptions where quite often there'll be a knife and he'll it'll like swing towards a balloon and pop a balloon and he does loads of things with balloons. But that my first thought was leave the balloon exactly where it is.

There's poles that run over the top of the hutch just set up a pulley system with a knife and then just get as far away as you can and lower the knife down onto the balloon. I like that. Would have been fine. It's complex but super. Yeah, it's kind of, yeah, he's robbing his nest, isn't it? It's like, you know, it's, it's, he's obviously know the guy that doesn't, I can't remember the weird kind of contractions. But now you've been saying that, moving the balloon over the fence wouldn't have been a bad idea.

So, getting a system where it goes, I mean, the person who lives next door wouldn't be to last it, but Alex would have to commit an act of trespass to work at how many aspirins between you and where it went. But yeah, I think a police system would, so yeah, it's, it's, your thing would have been to get the balloon away from you rather than getting away from the balloon. Yes, or leave the balloon where it is and then just go as far away as you can

and drop the knife. I mean, it's classic me to come up with something that I don't know if I could absolutely do practically. I mean, I'd imagine in reality, I'd touch the balloon and it would explode. No, you've got the form for these things. I think you probably will be able to rig up something that's maybe in later-lighted patients.

Yes. Although, what the transferable used would be of that, I don't know. That's a huge workout. Clearing up after kids' parties and knife on a string. Exactly that. But no one did my knife pulley system. Lucy's, I mean, let's talk about Lucy's, absolutely incredible. Just.

Swing work. Didn't turn around and stabbed it with a swing ball pole. Swing ball pole. Yeah. But my favourite thing about this was in the studio, after she'd seen Susan's, she said, I'm intrigued. Are you saying someone was further away? I know. I, honestly, everything about Maddick's change, I was doubled over both in the studio and then watching it back, because it's the, and there was a lot of that on this episode. This,

this absolute disbelief, she was being robbed of, of a win. It's so funny. So yeah, I'm not going to judge Lucy because there were probably a billion thoughts in my head to do something similar to that. I'm just telling the ideas and yeah, I mean, rising it like a child at one of Brimstick and then just gently jabbing backwards. Quite a few attempts as well, it wasn't just in a bowl of hat. It was in a there was a hard hat involved, there was a one point, yeah, she just pushed it off the hard hat and yeah, she finally got it but it was almost like you know scenes like battle scenes but it's after the battle and the generals are walking around and someone gurgles on the floor and they just push back because with

their pike it was like that it was finishing off finishing off the opposing army but she was 15 aspirins away so not very far away at all. It was close, it was close. Susan went for a slightly different fishing rod. Fishing rod through the window. It was a classic fishing rod through the window situation. Yeah. Not far. Not far.

I really enjoy Julian. The shame hit him before the balloon hit the ground. That was so good. I could have immediately. His hands went through his head. I did not smash that. I did not smash that. It's incredible how quickly. So it's just a slight mistro. And you could see it with the, it's in the air and he's just going, oh no. No, it's an absolute shambles? Mess that. And then Sam tries the golf ball with nails on and through a tube. I mean, it's a nice little contraption, but it doesn't work so you guys, I'm just going to throw it onto the ball.

And really, messes up the throw as well, but it's the run. Running helps his little giddy run. That was a smart move. I really enjoyed the contraption too. And I think if he'd picked a heavier ball or the weight of gravity was enough to touch it, the mat could have been very cool. But just the slow-mo running.

It was sort of full metal jacket, but with a man, and a basically a water balloon. But it was really, really great. It was a really fun task that the chorus. It's essentially something very, very simple, but it tells you everything you need to know about the people playing it. But I really love watching it back. Lucy's particularly will stay with me for many years to come. And Julian's hands on his head. And you're, of course, your run back to see the balloon when you're so excited, little giddy child's run. I hope that things, that is how I run.

But I've just had to deal with it. It's not that, it's, it's, everyone laughs at me, well, that's why I don't do much exercise because people reduced the sort of mild hysteria. It is a cross between Bigels and Bunty. It's kind of 1950s sort of action child. And arms are going, and the legs are going all angles. It's unganely, it's unganely. But I was, because it's fair to say,

I'm not very logical, and I have terrible attention problems. So I don't usually read the card properly. I was actually delighted I managed to do something. Very, very good, very, very good task for you. It was five points for you. Four points for Sam, three points for Julian, two points for Susan and one point for Lucy. I'm not sure the arrogance in that swagger away was earnestly. No, there was no arrogance. I have a natural swagger. It can be confusing sometimes.

I mean, how far away was? Do you want to tell me before you... I can. I've measured it in aspirins, because it's so close. Yeah. So if you want aspirins away. I think it's a lot, man. You wouldn't have a headache. It was bad, and there's only one thing I think

that can make you feel a bit better about your attempt. I don't think there is, but... It's the way it is. it's me talking to Lucy. LAUGHTER I don't think it'd be possible for you to get closer to that balloon. What was the task? To be as far away as you could be when you popped it. Well, that's what I did.

I think I can't get far away from it, because you wouldn't be able to pop it. LAUGHTER I mean, treat. Are you saying someone was further aware? That was season-wise for a star. And Susan was rubbish. LAUGHTER MUSIC Today's episode of the Taskmaster Podcast is sponsored by... Kozy. Who are Kozy? I can hear you asking? Well, Kozy are a Canadian furniture company that creates

thoughtfully designed furniture made for modern living. I actually think they should maybe get some Kozy furniture in the Taskmaster house because, look, it looks lovely in there, but let me tell you, it's not built for comfort. Some of the furniture in there has been battered over series and series of multiple messy and disgusting tasks, and I think it's about time they gave the place a spruce up. And cozy, it's the way they can do that, because it is incredibly thoughtfully designed furniture made for modern living. It allows owners to easily elevate any space, and I'm talking to you, Taskmaster, that sounds like the perfect way to improve your house. They are modular sofas, you can choose the design, you like, configure the shape and number of seats for your space, and pick your favourite

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everyone going, it's poor. Alex actually says poor. And he'll very rarely offer an opinion. Yeah, that was really harsh. I really enjoyed it, though. And absolutely considering that, of course, every day, mum did the sum. So with that one,

I... It didn't even cross my mind that I could appear in the gang. And it is that thing, it's that often you or the path that you choose, it almost happens so quickly, don't consciously register it. So it's like, I was in a mode of just use some things. Also, it was annoying. Not only was it poor, but those goggles are so heavy. I actually really badly tangled my lower left back and not my left, I've gone got two back, the lower left side. Really, really put it out. A dragging this awful heavy thing in.

And there's two of them as well. I wasn't paying and then just sticking eyes on it. I'm hindsight is a wonderful thing. So first of all, I went from below fill. I thought, right, get a cat in there. Yeah, that's nice. Mostly funny if all their eyes point to different directions so that they created sort of panoramic kind of high mentality. There's nothing scary about it.

And later in the series, you might also see I have an inability when something is supposed to be scary of reading and understanding what that word means. It's really interesting. I make quite a lot of mistakes just through not... I don't know whether I just don't see it on the card, but I... things are supposed to be scary and I haven't registered. So with the scary gang, no, the scary doesn't exist, it's just gang. There's a mannequin, there's some very heavy gargles, get the flamingos, take some eyes on. Now, there was a slight breakdown with the enormous eyeball. I don't quite know what came over me then, but I was

dragging that thing around for about 20 minutes. I think it's the only scary bit of the gang. I mean, that is scary to me, the eyeball. The eye found it quite comforting. Don't know why. I just thought, well, at least there's a good egg in there. You know, at least you're going to rely on our eye eyeball. So that eye might became, I was playing with it. Almost I would say totally unaware that I was making a television show for quite a long time and then Alex sort of said, do you do?

We sort of done now, so you're done and I was like, oh yeah, no one, I'm done. So I took from that task a sense of enjoyment and then it was very, very, I'm not going to say the word, he billiating when I realised how stupid it was. Do you think your lack of ability to make a scary gang? Do you think that's from working with make a scary gang? Do you think that's from working with Mel a lot who will use the word gang in a non-scary context at all times? Yeah, I've bought some mouse use of gang for 30 years because for me, and I said this to her, it won't come as a surprise, I listened to this, I said, are you Cliff Richard?

Are you Sir Cliff Richard? I'm sure no, I'm not Sir Cliff Richard. And why are you Cliff Richard? Are you Sir Cliff Richard? I'm sure, no, I'm not Sir Cliff Richard. And I'm all, why are you using the word gang or team? Because for me, that's the sort of thing. Hey, so how's it going, gang? Now, team, how's it? Are you Sir Cliff Richard? No, then stop it, right? But I would agree. It's lovely of you to even know, it's sort of, you know, not insulting to Cliff Richard, but you know, you are still using the sir, including his full title. Are you so Cliff Richard? No, then why are you sounding like an absolute prick? No, because he's sort of gay, getting, you know, sort of, you know, kind of cozy. And I don't understand why she says that, and I've never understood it it and now it's a matter of records but I would say you're

right in the working with her for many years we don't really do scary we haven't really gone into the gothic very heavily so I'm always terms of the light side keep it keep it bright and shiny yes and maybe you could go there and reveal my yeah the inner menace but everyone else did that for me which was good. Well, I mean, it didn't, it didn't come bottom. You got two points because I'm a maize that didn't come bottom. It's interesting. What do you think about the way Lucy's for school?

Because I think the visual, the visuals of Lucy's were so arresting. And you know, she's got an incredible mind, Lucy. She sort of drags up some weird images. So big, Billy, big bollocks. Yeah. Carrots are completely covered in eyes with a saxophone and a skateboard.

But it wasn't a gang. That was the issue, I think. Yeah, I felt it was hard. But Greg is the arbiter. He's got to kind of go with him, but I just loved it. I just loved, again, nothing's scary about it. To celebrate it, I thought. It was a celebratory mind peak from the genius

that is Beaumont. I'm gonna watch that for days, just to see where that developed. Will she get on the skateboard? Will there be a noise coming out of saxophone? And will it just remain like that? But yeah, he punished her there a bit. And I don't

know. I don't give a no more points. I think I'd have happily gone, come bottom because I think even though she wasn't a gang, it was extraordinary to say on the visuals. It was really strong. Julian makes a gang of teapots with what he describes as a gay undercurrent. Yeah. The, the, the actual visuals visuals of it, when he'd finished, because I was like, I'm not sure what this is going to be like. It seems like throwing eyes on whatever he can find. He gave them such character. Each teapot has its own individual character.

It's true. I think he really panned it to the gallery with his sort of, you know, this sort of tortured gay backstory. I thought, yeah, you know, exactly. He's very smart, doing it. Exactly what he was doing, but it was, they must have, there was a lot of ethos. I didn't know how he managed to get ethos out of a bunch of teapots with Google I. But you did get some sentiment from it. They're on the ground, they've been hiding, they really are, they've been forced to, you know, but this is where they get to be themselves and they're underground teapot, gay teapot party. I've brought into it quite heavily.

And yet now I've said that out loud. What a charmison. I could come a journey that was complete bullshit. I'd watch the feature film. The anime Ken Loach's first animation I think that's going to be exactly that. Fantastic. Now we're getting into the proper good ones I think. Susan's got no offense taken that. No, a lot intended actually. So, um, Susan, there's Satan, Alison, Helmet, Tim and Ian, yeah, and they're introduced like lock stock style, proper guy, Richie feeling, feeling intros in it.

And then the duck, the giant duck gets shot with eyes, basically covered in eyes. Yeah, I like that. They I loved it.. I loved it. There was a logic to it. It was a weird situation where she's added logic, you know, of course, the eyes, that's how they convert people to who they are. I just thought it was fantastic. It might have been my favourite. I loved Sam's, but this one might have been my favourite. Yeah, for me too, actually, because the voices I enjoyed hugely and the energy and the names Ian, the fact that Ian was the real baddie as well. And that helmet wasn't, helmet's just nothing. Alison is a great name as well for a mop. She was the mop. She was the mop and there was

the duck in chains. You know that for me I was very very drawn She was the mop and there was the duck in chains. Yeah. You know, that for me, I was very, very drawn to that back story, but there was no time because it was a very, was a very fast pace sort of trailer, wasn't there? Yes, it was. It was super creative. It was just very funny. It was good. And you're right. I enjoyed it so much as if not more than the sounds, I think. Yeah, and Sam's was amazing. I mean, I could watch that for hours. The three I boot boys who are infiltrating the government. Yes. And he's in the gang as well.

That's crucial. I enjoyed that. Heads sticking out of the head sticking out of the boot. Yeah. It does use the police quite a lot in his little sketches. There was there was another one with policeman There's fewer think yeah, there's there's a lot of authority figures and anger Coming through the work, but it's good because Tarsamostra is a space where you can I mean if you want I didn't really but you can use it to to sort of you know purge deeper feelings

And sounds deeper feelings are are all towards the police. Yeah. It was five points for Sam. It was pretty scary, to be fair. It was probably the scariest. Yeah, it was the scariest. Four points to Susan. Three points to Julian. Two points for you, so... And one point for big, big, big,

bollocks, Lucy's effort. Robbed. Robbed. Julian, you pleased with your gang? Yes, they're cool because they're in a pressed minority who have found their voice in their strength. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE

I do think that your oppressed minority are really cool. Are they scary? Yes, because there's so many of them, and now they've got strength in numbers. They can pour you to death. LAUGHTER Is that a pun on pour? Yes, it was a per-you-life of funding. Lovely, yeah, really. That's for that in for you, whoever you are.

LAUGHTER Task three, this is an interesting one. Get all the water in the vase. LAUGHTER APPLAUSE TAS 3. This is an interesting one. Get all the water in the vase. If you spill any water from the plate you're disqualified, you may not leave the lab. Fastest wins, your time starts now. How do you feel about this task, Sue?

Oh, I feel... Er... This was an... an almost, you know? It's one of those ones where, for a start, I don't know what I was doing underneath a table for about 10 minutes, thinking there was a steep grip hole, and how the plate was going to drain, and it would have been amazing how they had the ability to do that.

And then that slow realization has often happens in this show of like, oh, I just turned that upside down. That might make a bit more sense. But I had gone through a lot of the gears. I didn't try, we'll get to Lucy's. That was probably the most enjoyable thing I think I've ever seen on television. Um, I'd commissioned that. If I was a commissioned,

I'd commissioned just that. Yeah. Now, it was amazing. It. Now. It was amazing. It was amazing. It was amazing. We'll get to it. But for me, I did go through the straw gears. So I found the straw got quickly.

And then I was doing that, of course, which is my downfall. And it came across the match is quite late. And I was so happy that there was a little secret there. Well, it's, of course, really watching it back as the two secrets. There's the invisible ink and there's the diagram. So what a great task. There's multiple opportunities for people to find a work around. I mean, I know it was a simple science experiment,

but I didn't really understand science. And so for me, this was witchcraft. You can see my face at the end of it It's like what is going on and is it even filming this because this is madness But apparently some of the kids do yeah, I think it is I mean I I think I would have panicked and and done not what Lucy did, but I think I'm able to find a straw and you probably would have done what most of it did, which is suck it up and then. Yeah.

But it takes so... Yeah, it was taking a long, long time. The thing that I didn't remember doing was licking around the corners, and I've still got no... frankly, no justification or excuse for that. I don't know what came on me. The liquid was not nice. No.

It was not nice. No, was not nice. But I could see what you're doing because obviously the science experiment worked, but it didn't work totally. No, there was some residue. There was some residue. So, you know, it was very, you were being neat is what you're doing. You're making sure that that was, and then you even mopped it up. It was like watching a, you know, someone at work in a Michelin star restaurant.

You sort of go around the edges to make sure it was clean. And then just pop it. You can do it with their tongues. Yeah, they do. With their tongues and then a bit of blue roll. And then you just popped it on top of the vase and then left. Yeah, quite smug, quite smug.

But as we know, that smug mist was not just vise. No, but it wasn't justified with any of the contestants because everyone got not points at this. Yeah. Sam just left it with all the all the red liquid around the vase, but as it turns out, he'd spilled it loads anyway. Yeah, I was shocked when I said, yeah. Because when they, I just thought, oh, he's done this, he's smashed this, but yeah, I think, well, I mean, who's approach should we discuss next? I mean, because for me, Julian and Lucy's are extraordinary. Yeah, I mean, both of them,

Julian, I mean, Lucy's more extraordinary because Julian manages to slowly get the plate off the table. He puts the valves on the floor, which makes sense for pouring, but it happens to spill a bit. I mean, it's never going to work that because you're pouring from a plate into a vase. It's just there's always going to be a bit of spillage. Yeah. What did Lucy think was going to happen when she tipped the entire table? Yes. Well, for me, there's a paythouse in that that makes it so funny is that she has

maze a funnel. She has makes it, she's got, but the funnel seems to face her stomach. So, from what I could see, I don't know where the vase is, but there's plates, wet paper funnel, vase, and a very, very heavily tipping table. You can't improv the movement of. And it all goes pretty much onto the floor, I think. All of it, yeah. Anything in the vase? No, she looks, but the amazing thing about it is that she waits until all the water has gone from the plate to then check. So she then checks and there's nothing in the vase and it's all on the floor and she's standing in it. Yeah. But it's the look on her face as well, that just quite thrilled child of light. Well, you can clear that up there. Yeah. Yeah. But it used to deal with. It's also back in the studio when Alex says, Oh, and it was fastest, it was fastest wins. And she goes, did I do it?

She suddenly, she's like, Oh, great. Well, then I might have done it. It's like, no, you didn't do it. You've still got to do the thing. It's not just fastest person to do anything. Yeah, exactly. There's always a sense of righteous theory about any of the marking, any of the positioning, anything, which I really, really enjoyed throughout my entire series. She gets very angry with you, early doors on the show

about finding workarounds or finding little know, finding little hacks in the task. I believe it was in the getting the big duck into the lake where she couldn't believe that you'd bent the rules. Yes, but I haven't bent the rules because the rules just said, can you get the, can you just, yeah, get the duck to the lake? It didn't say, and don't touch these things, it didn't say you can't move anything. That's a classic taskmaster, isn't it really? To be fair, it took me so long to do that, but it wasn't a very helpful workaround, but yeah, she was mock furious. She was only really mock furious. Of course. This is big for Susan to decide that she's going to suck up the liquid and then spit it in,

because she must know that so far in Taskmaster, every time she's done a task, she's ended up laughing uncontrollably. Yes, and when you've got a straw full of liquid in your mouth, and the job is not to spill it, it was always going to go one way. This is an episode that's been a rom touched me because she has such a great start with the prize task. Yeah. She, you know, but in that moment, she's like, yeah, she's, she's, she's, he's, nearly got it. It's, yeah, it's the classic last bit. She, she loves more than any contestant in Tarsamalsda history, I think, just in terms of,

but as, as everyone should, like, just looking around and going, what am I doing? What is going on here? And she just, I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. Yeah, and you're right, everyone should be doing that. We're sort of so locked in that we don't always take time to just go, this is insanity, but the Susan does that so brilliantly. And I love the fact that she hadn't unpeeled the straw from the rose. So she was just this sort of slightly dusty plastic flower round up against her face. Just sucking it from the top so far. Yeah, just kept on. And then the eyes did everything. Yeah. And lots of flicking eyes to Alex has to say, you prick. That's right, I don't. That's rudder, she probably did a whole term on eyes.

Yeah. It was not points for everyone. I don't need to run through it because everyone got not points, which is always joyous when that happens. Just truly, you can look at Taskmaster and say all those tasks are very silly in a waste of time, but it's never really a total waste of time until everyone gets the same

Yeah, it's great. It's great. We like we love to see that happen Right, okay, there's a diagram here. There's a diagram of a vase and a plate. Can you show to me? Candle, candle on All right, something over candle put the plate on the vase. Oh, there is like a weird trap door. Oh. Ah. Oh.

Is that good? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Oh. Well, there's nothing that happens. Oh, yeah. Well, there's nothing that happens. Now you've made me look like a proper fool.

That's useless. That's worse than useless. Unless it goes like that. The live task, sip your drink, you may only touch the loo roll and you may not cross over the line. I mean, this, so it's a trick, it's not a tricky thing. I think once you work out a technique, there are multiple techniques happening, slowly pulling it slowly, making sure you didn't spill the drink, obviously, standing up and actually walking backwards, some people employed that.

Yeah, that was pretty effective. But of course, the story within this, you brought your low roll in the first round, second round, you finally managed it in the third round. To get points. To get points. And then Julian, his glass is just slightly over the line. And I think someone in the audience says someone else can do it. I think there's a suggestion from the audience. It was that, and I just didn't think, I went, yeah, I'll do it. It was exactly that.

It was just, and then, I didn't like, and then the thing is, because I was so behind at that point, really, I just felt joy that I'd done it. It was not a kind of, oh no. And I want that noted, you know, that June has come on this podcast and mode about me, one of mine resembling a fish cake.

And I've come on and gone in that moment, in that brief window of Perkins' heroism. I just handed him a goblet full of champagne and he gets the win. But yeah, he deserves it. I mean, yeah. I kind of, it was just an automatic thing. I didn't think that it'd be much.

If you'd realised the, because Alex was saying someone who's already been disqualified as you're picking up the drink, if you'd heard Alex say that first, would you have done it? Probably, because I just don't care about winning. I was the point that I'd got one point, I think, or something. So it was not like, there was not a lot in it for me. I'm actually usually very, very bad at the studio tasks, because there's often quite a lot of physical coordination required.

I just don't have it. And when you combine that with a lack of comprehension, really, it's a bewildering class. Well, with all that going on, I think you do really well on the series, too, because we spoke before I'd seen any of the series, and the way you were talking about it was as if you'd just like gone on every week and just taken a shit on the stage. So that's coming up in eight actually. So I'm quite one out in a prize task. You won't believe it. It's a piece.

I shouldn't give spoilers. Well, I always, you never know do you, but I, this tonight, I loved it so much. You know, and I, I, I have, as with everyone that you speak to, there are certain rounds that I just think, oh, I'm surprised I did that all right. I mean, somewhere I just haven't read things properly or fall over or make an absolute tip of myself, but it's just a pleasure to be in the mix really. I really enjoyed it. And I don't, I don't, I say I don't want to bring shame on my family, but I think that ship's already sailed. I just didn't want to be the worst of all time. And I wanted to have fun and for that to you know because that's I've just

enjoyed being a child because that's essentially how I run my life is in the state of child like one of them and the inability of course to remember George Wider comes name. Spiding work with him loads. But yeah no I've really I've really loved it. I don't see me got half a system to play out, but I'm glad you're enjoying it. And I'm glad you think I'm doing all right. Absolutely. No, you're all, you're all fantastic. The live task scores, you and Susan got two points always together, four points for Sam and five points for Julian, meaning Julian wins the episode. You got Julian the episode win with 15 points 14 points for Sam 13 points for Susan 12 points for you all very tight at the top there any one point in As you go down the as you go down the list and then Lucy Lucy on seven points not a good episode for Lucy I love her walkouts. Yeah, very.

The final task. Yeah, I really, really enjoyed that. Because there's nothing funnier than a climb down after someone stormed off. Yes. Oh, we better pop back as another round. Yeah. You shouldn't paint rounds. She says, sorry, I don't know what came over me there. I just got really angry.

This is funny. Also, can I just say that picture they've chosen have made makes me look like I've come to seventh in a regional doctorate for kind of competition? I don't know what that is, but I've been showing it. I don't remember having that photo taken, so I think it was long-lensed, not necessarily with my consent by Alex. Yes. I'm just saying that. That feels like the sort of thing you do, to be honest.

Completely. Completely. Series scores. So we are halfway through the series now. Susan's on 63 points to the bottom. Lucy, very close, but just above on 65 points. You're on 72 points, sitting happy in the middle there. Julian, quite a big jump up now, 86 and Sam in the lead on 88. So it feels at the moment, we still got five episodes to go, but at the moment, if it stays like this, bit of a two horse race, but who knows what can happen in five episodes? We will see. So thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast.

It's pleasure at any time. And you are on holiday, so thank you very much for interrupting your holiday to talk to us about Taskmaster. It's all good, I'll talk about Taskmaster anyone who wants. We always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast between one of five points in the style of the Taskmaster, so we hope you've had a good time, but please be honest with your point score for today's podcast recording. You've done a really good job. I think that you've been swayed however by the winners narrative, that's Julian's narrative. And I think you've rushed a judgment on things that you weren't present for, namely fish sausages.

But with that in mind, you've listened to the full disclosure of what happened that there were two sausages. One was made in a rather chequey way in Kung-Kill and the other admittedly was fried. And so you've learned something, that's been your arc of the show. So whereas at the beginning, I was a little bit back foot going, I always see what's happening here, it's entrapment. You very much misunderstood my motivation for helping Julian. I think we've got to have a happy place. And I think you've understood that ultimately,

I'm a deeply flawed but good human being with the best of intentions and so I'm going to give you five points because you're a journey. Thank you so much that's very very generous if you so. Thank you so much Sue for coming on the Taskmaster Podcast you've been absolutely brilliant. Oh listen, always a pleasure. Thanks so much mate. Thank you so much to Sue for interrupting her holiday to come on the Taskmaster podcast. This is the dedication that these people show, and I hope you respect and admire it. Thank you very much to Sue. We'll be back next week. Of course, talking about Series

16, Episode 6, and you're probably thinking, Ed, you've had four of the guests on so far. But surely, there's five contestants on the series of Taskmaster. Well, yes, you'd be right, and next week we'll be talking to the remaining contestants that we haven't spoken to yet. Susan Walker, she's absolutely brilliant. I can't wait to talk to her about series 16, episode 6. Make sure you watch that go out 9pm channel 4, and then the podcast drops on your podcast apps

straight after that. See you next week. Bye bye. Imagine how lonely you can feel to be facing mental illness or addiction on your own. Now imagine how lonely it might feel during the holidays. That's why CAMH needs your help to light the way forward. Your donation can help us make sure no one is left behind by fueling progress in mental healthcare and patient experience. Donate now at camh.ca slash giving Tuesday to double your impact with a match donation. That's camh.ca slash giving Tuesday.