Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 15. Josh Widdicombe - S1 Ep.3

Episode Date: January 21, 2021

On the podcast this week, Ed is joined by the reigning TM Champion of Champions - Josh Widdicombe. The pair take a close look at episode three of series one which saw the unveiling of the legendary Greg tattoo! As well as this they discuss a letter from Alex, the whereabouts of Josh's trophy and his Dad's book. If you would like to watch along as Ed and his guests revisit the early series of Taskmaster then go to https://www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster/episode-guide where you will find all episodes. Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com  Sales, advertising and general enquiries:[e-mail] the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now.

Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. That's what it is, that's what you've downloaded. I'm Ed Gamble, I'm the host of the Taskmaster podcast. What we do down here at the TMP, the TMPod, is we get a a special guest on normally someone who's been on the show and we chat through a particular episode of taskmaster breaking it down assessing it going through the point scoring talking about memories of the show probably in far too clinical a detail

and this week's guest very excited to say we'll be chatting to josh Widdicombe the original champion of Taskmaster because we'll be talking about an episode that he's in series one episode three we've already done episodes on series one episode one and series one episode two so why not go back and listen to those if you haven't yet and watch the episodes along with it is that the right term watch the episodes along with it probably not that is not a sentence that anyone has ever that the right term watch the episodes along with it probably not that is not a sentence that anyone has ever said before uh just watch the episodes then listen to the episodes it's not a confusing thing this is it but every week i seem to make it a very confusing concept just watch the thing and then listen to the thing sorry i'm having a minor meltdown i

don't know how everyone else is coping with uh lockdown 3.0 that's where we are in time now if you're listening to this in you know maybe in 2030 when COVID is a distant memory one of the only few things that's bringing me any joy at the moment is getting to re-watch Taskmaster it was filmed in a time where this didn't exist and it was filmed in a time where we could all get close to each other and run around and be idiots and that's what Taskmaster means to me. It's a true tonic. So I hope you can join us on that journey. We're now going to talk to Josh Widdicombe about series one episode three. Here we go! Welcome Josh Widdicombe, OG Taskmaster champ, to the Taskmaster podcast. How you doing, Josh?

I'm very good, thanks. Very excited to be here. Are you very excited? Because the thought of having to watch back an episode, you agreed to the podcast, I then said, you've got to watch back an episode, and you didn't seem overly happy about it. I don't like that kind of thing um i don't like looking at myself um uh particularly um i've got a terrible thing when i just vile kind of reaction when i win a task and try not to scream yes a kind of awful smug little smile that deserves to be punched but apart from that I enjoyed it well I mean you say uh that you can

see yourself when you win a task desperately trying not to shout yes and punch the air I mean you don't often stop yourself I'd say throughout the series there's there's a little there's a Widdicombe fist clench that sticks in the memory. Yeah, it's kind of like Tim Henman. Yeah, I think, yeah, it's a weird thing, isn't it? Because I've got such an awful kind of competitive thing going on in my head. Sorry, we got very deep very quick. But I've always, like when i did um i watched

pointless because i did pointless yeah and i had a completely different body language to ever whenever i've watched myself on tv before this kind of hugely kind of tense ball of like energy and so um i don't i remember taskmaster being really really really fun. But I didn't realise quite how awful I looked when I won a task, yeah. I think we're very similar in that whenever you see us do comedy, it's pretty laid back. But if there's any competitive element or quiz show element to it,

we're completely different people. Which would really suggest we don't care about comedy and what we're in the game for. We're there to win something. Ed, imagine how good we'd be at comedy if we took it as seriously as we took Taskmaster. Oh, God. Well, neither of us would be doing this podcast for a start.

We'd be in America. Exactly. The big apple. I'd see you there. I actually don't think, Josh, that in the history of Taskmaster, you are one of the most competitive people. I actually think you're quite laid back in the scheme of things.

Obviously, Series 1, pretty competitive. Most competitive guy in the series, I'd say. No, I'm not the most competitive man in the series. Who are you thinking, Tim Key? No. I'm not going to name the person, no i'm not going to name the person but um i heard from the director that when i won the so you're aware that i got an extra point because they did a trick on me which was to make me count the tin tin of beans and yes and and then they gave me the extra point and apparently i won the

series by one point. And I won't say who it was. But when the director was doing the edit, they announced me as the winner by one point. And they just heard the fucking beans point. Now, I've got to say, I would be that person saying that. Because the beans point, especially especially it was only six episodes, you know, you won by one point.

Of course, you should like, I said the same thing. Series 10, Richard Heron got given his own task. He got like five points for it. Well, that's unfair. That's totally wrong. The reason I think I deserved the beans point is they made a decision. You definitely deserved the beans point. I deserved the beans point. Yeah. Is they made a decision. You definitely deserved the beans point.

I deserved the beans point. Everyone deserved a chance at a beans point. Well, no, but wait, wait. I think I'm seeing this as an overall task, right? It's more of a holistic task, right? Which was they made a decision as to who would take the beans thing the best right i.e who was the most placid person so in a way the task was who is the most placid person gets an extra point so you're saying the person who got angry about the beans point wouldn't have taken the beans task well if it

was given to them um it would be a two it would be impossible for me to comment right what are your what are your memories of the show josh because obviously it was i loved it you know five or six years ago now. Do you remember it being, how was it presented to you as an idea? Oh, I probably got the email actually. Let me just. Oh, I'd love to hear the email. Everyone out there, this is exactly the sort of stuff

that people who listen to this podcast like to hear. Taskmaster for Josh Whitacombe. I've discussed, I've attached a program treatment and a letter for Josh from Alex. So that was the only time I'd ever received a letter from someone making it. Oh, wow. Yeah.

And so there's like a treatment, which is like when you get asked to do a TV show for people that, like you just get like a description of the show with some pictures and some kind of idea. Yeah. And then the letter. Normally they've like cut your head out

and put it on a dog or something. Yeah, yeah. And often there's an error that shows who was asked before. So actually, on a Taskmaster theme, I once got a treatment where I was referred to Greg, as Greg throughout. on a taskmaster theme i once got treatment where i was referred to greg as to as greg throughout oh i love that absolutely so um hello alex here hope you're well and don't i haven't read this so that we i don't know whether it's uh hope you're well and don't mind me sending over an extra note to try and convince you to be

on my program. Open brackets, Taskmaster, close brackets. Open brackets, I'm making a teleprogram and I really want you to be in it, close brackets. So briefly, here's why I think you should do it. It's going to be fun. I'm only asking people who I think are really good and really nice. So far, two of the names are the only names attached they'll only be doing things i've thought of so won't be embarrassing or cringy that didn't play out you'd be very good at it i think i know you pretty well and this plays to your strengths i'm a producer on this

i now speak like a producer it's not a mock the week situation. Not that you're not good at that. It's going to be a warm sort of competition. Fierce but supportive, etc, etc. Basically, it's going to be fun and funny. I can't stress that enough. So there you go. Do please give me a call if you've got any concerns. I'd love you to do it.

So we'll keep trying to persuade you if there's any particular things that bother you. I could probably also buy you a pizza or something. Bye, Alex. Who knew thatlex was so desperate in the early days yeah it's a real window into a man who's panicking the desperation that comes off that letter yeah it's there's a lot of um there's a lot of um I remember going for a drink with Alex in like Soho and he when I'd kind of agreed to do it and it was him and Andy Devonshire who's the uh director and they were kind of telling me about it and I think they'd done it in Edinburgh as a thing uh with like 15 comics and I hadn't been asked to do that one so it was a real promotion to make it

into the five for the tv show but yeah I said yes almost instantly I think I don't been asked to do that one. So it was a real promotion to make it into the five for the TV show. But yeah, I said yes almost instantly, I think. I don't think I ever doubted doing it. I was going to say, I mean, by the time we got to series nine, Alex is not sending out letters. No. In fact, I had to send him a letter. I sat with Alex.

So did I tell you I went to Ireland to do a gig and I bumped into alex horn in the airport and then we looked at our tickets and we were sat next to each other on the plane this was about two years ago it was really surreal and um and then he sat there and he was like editing tasks which i thought was a bit for show but there we go um but he was discussing the booking then and um i got the feeling by that point he very much held all the cards in the booking policy um so have you have you never watched your series back at all um i've watched i watched the first

one because i had no idea i felt like, obviously everyone else knows what they're going into, but you're the first series. So it's a bit like the first series of Big Brother. Do you know how that had a slightly different energy because no one knew really what the show would look like? So you don't know what you're doing. So I watched it back for that reason. I don't know if I watched all of so i watched it back for that reason i don't know

if i watched all of them but i've i've watched certainly the first one and i don't think i've watched this one that we watched because i was too put off by the thought of the tattoo and i i found that watching that now really tough actually in a weird way really what what was tough about watching it because you've proposed right ed yes yeah um and you know that awful feeling before you say something that is going to like it's just a huge thing to say that's going to totally change the dynamic of the conversation and a relationship forever. That's how I felt before I unveiled the tattoo.

Because of the impact that it was going to have on your relationship with Greg and the relationship with the programme and I suppose it's a big thing. I think I was I just watched it so I was a big thing and i was i think i was i was well i just watched it so i was fourth out of five and you can see there was a shot when someone else's tim's giving his book vouchers or something and you can just see me in shot and i've got that

look of someone who's you know waiting for their a-level results or something like something like that i'm just utter... Watching it now, my heart started pumping fast at watching that because I remember the fear of thinking, have I hugely misjudged this? What's the worst-case scenario, though? Because in a proposal, obviously, the chance is that someone can say no if you propose to them, right?

That's why you're nervous um what what was the worst case scenario for greg in that situation what were you worried well just that it i think a weird a bad case scenario would have been that it goes all right yeah two points to john like they just it doesn't like or just that people are like what the fuck have you done that's a like hugely misjudged and inappropriate it's only series one but that's the incredible i mean look we'll come to it because it's it's you know it's it's a little bit further on in the episode uh but that is the genius of it and that is it's such a big play because it's episode three of a brand new tv show well i didn't know it was episode three as well so bear in mind i'd got it tattooed before we'd filmed any episodes yeah i remember phoning uh

your friend of mine matthew crosby when i was stood outside the tattoo parlor just and like saying is this the right thing to do but you know the only answer to that question is no laughter music music music music

music music music music let's just crack on with the prize task for episode three series one of taskmaster which is the most meaningful thing now this was back in the day where the prize tasks were pretty straightforward pretty simple uh now they've gone they've gone incredibly specific and uh and weird run out weird adjectives now alex has got just a well-thumbed dictionary

full of tears um so let's let's talk about what people brought in um frank brought in his son's hobby horse a lovely uh fine look very very meaningful uh emotion yeah invested in it and he showed that emotion as well which is key i think uh when you're presenting the prizes you have to that was a mistake i made there well this is what i'm coming to so frank obviously said this is meaningful to me this is my son's he loves it uh and he tied it into his relationship with his father you brought in a book that your dad had written and self published called i blame the beatles and you showed absolutely no emotion towards that book whatsoever i don't know why i did that. I think I played...

This sounds absurd, but I played it for laughs. There's your mistake. Huge mistake. Yeah, re-watching that, I was like, I've misrepresented the book completely, which is a really funny book of like sarcastic letters that he'd written to the local paper yeah where he pretends to be a kind of um a kind of uh countryside alliance tory and he wrote these sarcastic letters it's really funny yeah yeah and it's great and i didn't

say any of that and i i just thought oh do you know what I'm quite bad with maybe we said this with the proposal I'm quite bad with showing emotion so I think this task was really bad for me because I immediately went to some kind of default thing I'm sure my therapist

would have a field day like I think like so I just didn't wasn't very honest about it but it wasn't like a fucking wedding ring was it so no but I can see the thought process though because you've obviously brought

that in because it does mean something to you and then when someone said on television what does this mean to you and why is it meaningful you've immediately gone just take the piss out of my dad just as quickly as possible to you and then when someone said on television what does this mean to you and why is it meaningful you've immediately gone just take the piss out of my dad just yeah just sold my dad down the river on tv for a laugh um roshin brought in a dictionary which everyone immediately i mean everyone hated that right well i didn, I didn't really, yeah. It's a kind of, and I think we come to this with the tea task,

and I didn't really like what I did in that, that, like, I'm never a fan of the reinterpretation of the question on Taskmaster. I'm a purist, Ed. You're a purist. I'm a purist. There's two schools of thought. There's the Widdicombe purists and there's the uh the Osman loopholers yeah I'm not a loopholer Ed I try I tried to loophole on

the tea and I do you know what it didn't suit it didn't suit me I tried it on it didn't play it with a straight bat yeah you can tell I mean you know you watch you do your comedy as well I think that's I think that's the same thing you come out you've got a you've got an observation you absolutely unpack it until it's empty and then you move on let's be honest i know what you're saying i'm not a creative thinker not what i was saying josh just you you play you play uh you play a solid straight down the middle game and i respect that and that's what won you both this series and champion of champions well there we go yeah yeah so the yeah roshin thought she was being pretty clever with that i didn't think it was too bad

actually but i think people are a bit a bit on her about that i thought it was a bit mean um ramesh as you previously mentioned brought in his wedding ring which is which is huge i mean i think well he's got big fingers mate but that's a bit unfair look like a belt um i i think this series has particularly sort of big plays in it like the tattoo and the wedding ring i think that some of the stakes have lessened in the later series and i wonder if it's because there's less expectation or appreciation that people will actually take the prizes home with them um i think yeah it's that thing i've said again as well you don't know what the show is so we're going in completely blind to what other people are doing and all you're doing is getting hyped up by Alex and the two Andes.

Yeah. To, you know, to... Well, if you want to do that, yeah, go ahead. Actually, to be fair, I should, for the record, say that at no point, and they legally had to tell me, that they at no point had convinced or endorsed me to do the tattoo. Tim Key finally brought in a piston from his edinburgh show now this is

an interesting thing i'd forgotten about this because last week we had him on the podcast and um the prize task in that episode was most impressive thing uh and i said why didn't he bring in his edinburgh comedy award because he Because in 2009, same year he ran the marathon, he brought in his marathon medal instead. And he said he wouldn't just go, he said it wouldn't seem right to bring in something from another comedy show onto a different comedy show and be like, hey, I've won this.

But that's exactly what he does this week. He goes, I won the Edinburgh Comedy Award in 2009 and I've brought a piston from the show. He could have just brought the award. Yes, well, exactly. Exactly, he could have. I actually thought, you know know tim key's an actor he played it really like i felt quite emotional watching that just now like he did play it like it actually mattered to him that yeah i don't i did you see

that show i guess i i saw it i saw it the year after once all the hype had died down yeah yeah yeah um i don't buy this bullshit that he didn't have room for any of the other props because there was loads of little props. Yeah, there were. Yeah. And he implied that he didn't live in a house or something. Like he was kind of homeless when he won the Edinburgh Award. But he's a poet, isn't he?

He knows how to sort of couch things in emotion and make you feel for him. But anyway, it wasn't a good choice of thing to bring in. I think he should have brought the award in and just rubbed it in everyone's faces. I think that should have been bottom, actually. I think that should have been bottom in the prize tasks. But Roshin's was bottom with the dictionary. Greg didn't care for it either.

And then you only got two points. And, you know, if you'd invested the actual emotion you had... Yeah, I think I could have gone above the piston. I don't think I could have competed with the hobby horse or the ring. Yeah, I think the ring is such a big play that that was always going to be five points. Didn't he do his car as well? Another point.

Yes, I think that's maybe later on in the series. I think he does the car. Yeah, he really went all in with the price. We should be clear about that car. That was at a time when Romesh couldn't afford a new car. Now I bet he's got them coming out of his fucking ears. Now his wife's got about eight wedding rings now. Doesn't matter.

Chucks them out his window to passing kids on Halloween. I think you could have beaten the hobby horse if you'd shown how much emotion you had in that book, I reckon. Yeah, yeah. I think I missold it, yeah. I can't stress this enough. It's too late now. Fourth, I'm going to put Josh's dad's book in.

Oh, what? A gift from my dad, who I no longer speak to. But you... I know for a fact it's not that way around. He no longer speak to. But you... I know for a fact it's not that way around. He won't speak to you because you didn't read his fucking book. Task one. Throw a tea bag into a mug from the furthest distance. You have exactly one hour.

Your time starts now. You made it very clear at the beginning of this task. You love tea. You love tea. You're looking forward to the task. You love tea. You love tea. You're looking forward to the task. I love tea. Love it so much. I'm a six a day man, I reckon.

Are you? Yeah. Wow. Do you think your love of tea, were you excited about the tea task? You thought my love of tea will help me throw a tea bag into a mug from a long distance. I don't remember

that being a key element of it i my main memory of it was um that i think it was one of the first tasks i ever did right i think it was probably the first day and that's why i thought you had to do these kind of wacky things to get around it so i think that's why i did that thing yeah so this is a you know you've just said you're not a you're not an osman loophole this is you're you're trying to find a loophole here and it doesn't it doesn't pay off just to remind everyone if you've not watched the episode back josh uh attempts to turn a wheelbarrow into a mug to redefine a wheelbarrow as a mug so he's got more of a surface area to throw the teabag into. Tapes the teabag to a golf ball, which was a great idea.

That's a good idea. But the mug definition was never going to work, mate. Stupid. Idiot. I actively disliked what I did when I watched it back. And I remembered, like, there's other tasks actually, no, that's not true. I remembered every task absolutely

vividly um but yeah i remembered it and i thought i'm i don't agree with this this is this is bringing the game into disrepute yes there's ways of doing loopholes and claiming that a wheelbarrow is a mug i think was it was never going to work so disqualified unfortunately Josh good cause yeah I think so Frank wets the teabag straight away and uses a box chute which is impressive thinking

Roisin drops the teabags from the top of a step ladder I enjoyed her thinking outside the box but quite how she thought just standing on a ladder and dropping it in would be the biggest distance anyone managed is beyond me. No, that's, yeah.

But there is that element of just doing the task often means you don't finish bottom. Do you know what I mean? Yes, yeah. But you don't know that at the time, right? No, no, you don't. But particularly in the first series, but yeah. I suppose in your head you're thinking

some people are just not going to achieve this. Yeah. I don't, I think Roisin's the least competitive ever run that did it. So I don't think there was any point where Roisin thought, I really want to beat Frank Skinner at throwing a teabag into a mug. How do I do that?

No, I completely agree. I can't imagine roshin caring i mean no she's very funny on the show and does amazing stuff um but no she doesn't care about winning at all um ramesh does care and is terrible in this task yeah um this is this is i think maybe the first bit of like classic taskmaster editing where i'm like that's what this show is where they show frank saying you know there's some people who are going to get 45 minutes into the task and they're not they're then they're going to realize they need to wet the tea bags and it cuts to romesh after 45 minutes going oh maybe i should wet them. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's... I think that's a really lovely thing they do on the show, isn't it?

Is those kind of juxtaposition ones where they do two people together. Yeah. And I think, you know, in the first series, I was surprised at how well realised the show was. Do you know what I mean? It's not like... Sometimes you see the first series of something

and it feels really different. Even things like Would I Lie To You or stuff, you'd see the first series of that and it doesn't have the same feeling about it. But this does feel like Taskmaster. It looks like Taskmaster. Definitely. I mean, even to the extent

it was filmed somewhere different and then they recreated that place in a studio. It's had a consistency to it yeah exactly i think um i'm glad you know we got the thrill of filming in a place that was so bad that they moved after one series that was great have you got fond memories of the grand josh i have got fond memories i've got i've do you know what was a really fond memory is doing the photo shoot on the last day and not that the photo shoot wasn't a particularly fond memory

there was a particularly bad point in the photo shoot where we all went up in turn and got told to face, one of the photos was face 45 degrees with your legs open did Key tell you about this? so stand like 45 degrees with your legs open. Did Key tell you about this? No. No. So stand like 45 degrees

with your legs open, right? Yeah. Like that. Everyone did that. And they were like, you know, just, we've got that, right? You know how they do in photo shoots.

They've got that, yeah. Yeah. And then Key goes up last and they're like, can you stand 45 degrees with your legs open and look like you're falling backwards? And he was like why and they

were like oh we're gonna make it look like you're all riding on a horse and you're falling off the back what an absolute burn on key yeah leave him to he's obviously the one who's going to fall off the imaginary horse um so but i remember that was the morning of the final day we did three nights of filming a bit yeah and the morning of the final day um we did that and then they were like do you want cars over to it and it was like a mile it was all this walk across clapham Common. It's a lovely sunny day. Yeah. And the five of us just walked across together. And just like... Because we really got on really well. Yeah.

And I know that sounds like a really weird... But I just remember the five of us just spent like walking for an hour and a half together across London. And it was just this really pleasant kind of experience of like, oh, this has been such a great show to do. And on any other show, everyone would be like, no, we'll all get a separate car. Thank you very much. Sort of had enough time together now, really.

The professional engagement is over. Thank you. We need to mention Tim's teabag system because he's still very, very proud of this. It came up in his episode last week the plastic sheet the sort of it sort of looked like

a scene from Dexter plastic sheet the ball thrower which I don't think he needed that was just for flair and then the tea bags in a tennis ball

which is sort of a similar system to your golf ball but better realised yeah but better yeah I went golf ball because we were next

to a golf course so I just said it was all really the the true genius of tim's i think is digging the hole and putting and basically setting up his own golf hole so it had nowhere else to go apart from straight into the mug it was great it was brilliant like there's so many good bits of it and in a weird way that's what I imagined I was doing when I did that awful awful like tea in my option in my head that's what I was doing but I was doing like

you know when you see like a band that are a really bad version of a really good band that's who I was in that task I have to say when I picture the others I don't see them getting this kind of distance. Poets, girls.

Task two. Using this device to track your route, create the best image for Taskmaster. You have one hour. Your time starts when you take your first step. Pop a balloon to signal that you have finished your image. Got to say, Joshosh you straight out the gate knew what you were doing absolutely nailed it very very pleased with myself for this one

but this was one of those ones where i presumed that everyone would be like i'm not being like um but like i because they showed mine first as well yeah until you'd seen how bad the others were i wouldn't say it was a good picture. It just was a picture. I thought Romesh's was great. Romesh's was amazing. Yeah. It was really good.

But I think just the fact you were so clear about what you were going to do. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats, get almost, almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region.

See app for details. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow.

Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. Realized quickly it was good to do something simple yeah and also yeah you know you'd made fun of your dad's book earlier in the episode but you did a bunch of flowers for this and you really showed your sensitive side i thought exactly exactly thank you very much um i remember um the the way i did it okay is this boring or are people actually interested? They'll absolutely love it. Okay, cool. Because it was a football pitch.

I just used... You know when you used to draw... Do you remember when you'd get a magazine as a kid? Like a postman pack magazine or whatever. And you'd have a picture and then it would have a grid. With behind a grid and you'd use another grid to draw that picture. Yes. So I just used the football

markings to draw the flower so i always knew where i was in terms of the football markings that's great that was how i did it but yeah there's some there's some tasks went wrong for everyone else you open it and then you just have such clarity of mind that and it just sort of works out yeah yeah it was it was brilliant anyway. I mean, it did go wrong. Because I think people just started. Key looked brutal, didn't it? Key started trying to do a key. Yeah.

And it went terribly wrong. So he tried to cross it out. Yeah, I mean, come on, mate. Which is obviously not how the device works. So he just ended up with a sort of vague key-looking thing with scribble all over it. And then he walked off in one direction and he ended up walking three miles in total.

Did he? Yeah, I think he had a bit of a breakdown. It was raining really hard. He had a bit of a meltdown. And that happens now and again on Taskmaster. You're like, I know this has gone badly. I'm just going to have a full meltdown and see how that comes across.

Yes, I think sometimes you've just got to own it, haven't you? That it's gone badly. Totally. I mean, same with Roisin. She started doing a sausage, it turned into a pregnant woman, and then it ended up being tulips. Yeah, exactly.

It wasn't that bad, hers. I thought it was better than Keyes and Frank's. Yeah, so Frank's, it didn't look like anything. And then when he was asked what it was in the studio, he said it was his son's hobby horse. Yeah. Which can't be true. It's just because that's at the forefront of his mind

because that's his prize task, right? And then some snivelling little person backs him up and says, yeah, it does look like a hobby horse. And I was watching this and I was like, I couldn't believe the words were coming out of my mouth what what pathetic what am i backing him up on that oh frank it does look like a hobby horse actually please come to cologne with me i think romesh was really unlucky to not to not get five points as well so you got the five points josh uh romesh got four uh three for keys crossed out key two for frank's hobby horse uh and one for roshan's bunch

of tulips which you know i think i think especially in this series greg does a lot of marking based on what reaction he wants the person to have so So he enjoys having fun with Roshan because they were friends beforehand. And obviously to get that reaction from Ramesh, he's just horrible to Ramesh. Yeah, I actually think Ramesh probably, if he'd just been a bit more charming, he would have won the series.

But later on in this episode, he does try to be more charming. And as it always is when Ramesh tries to be charming and nice, it's creepy as hell. Yeah, I think really Ramesh's inability to be charming and nice, it's creepy as hell. Yeah, I think really Romesh's inability to be charming is what's held him back over the following five years. I've got tulips and the Angel

of the North and yours looks like a duck in a golf bag. Just to make it absolutely clear, if you'd have told me that that was a drawing of a duck in a golf bag, you'd be right at the top of the pile now uh task three here we go buy the taskmaster a gift with 20 pounds you have 10 weeks now this obviously started a tradition of the taskmaster gift task which has now stopped uh annoyingly because i totally would have loved to have done that it wasn't in our series did you have an idea well the thing is i i often i've got

tattoos josh um and i love getting tattoos um i fantasize about a scenario where i am presented with the opportunity to one up your tattoo and get a massive portrait of greg somewhere oh wow i would i would absolutely do it but it wouldn't have as much impact as yours because you are not a tattooed person apart from that. So it was a real surprise to see that you got that done. No, it was... Do you know what, Ed? It was the first and last time I've been inked. You surprised me with access to lingo like inked.

Exactly, yeah. Do you know what? I have considered getting more ink. Yeah. Is that how it works as a phrase? Yeah. Which other television hosts' names would you get inked on you next? I'd have Ant and Dec and Moniz.

Yeah. I want to know more about the thought process behind the tattoo. When you decided to do it, obviously, you said before, you were thinking, is this mad? Is this the right idea? You had £20, which, you know, there's probably tattooed people listening. £20 is not a lot to pay for a tattoo. No.

Where did you go? It was in Shoreditch. Right. It was just off, what's the place with the bagel shops called brick lane yeah just off brick lane um and it uh i think i i think i probably you know i must have trip advised it i don't think i went in completely blind i think i might have so i imagined it in my head smaller. Right. By the way, that always happens with tattoos.

Yeah. Well, when I got in there, they said the size it is now, well, the size it always has been, is the smallest it can go without it turning into a blue blob. Yeah. Yeah, because if things are too sort of small and detailed or fine, eventually they'll blow in my head it was the size of the writing on a debit card okay yeah there's no way that would have been possible unless you have the letters

space really far out yeah um i think it's a good i think i enjoyed the experience and i love having the tattoo my daughter has noticed it now. She's three. Yeah. And she said to me the other day, have you got your name written on your foot? Because she's quite into letters now. And then she was like,

I haven't got my name written on my foot. So she now thinks I've got my own name written on my foot. Well, that's going to go around nursery like wildfire, isn't it? My dad has got his own name written on my foot. Well, that's going to go around nursery like wildfire, isn't it? My dad has got his own name written on his foot. You didn't correct her. I suppose it's a difficult thing to explain to a child, isn't it?

She's not aware of either Channel 4 or Dave. Which makes my career much less impressive to her. But, um, she, yeah, I just thought it was easier just to leave it. I don't, because I think you've probably got to be six or seven to understand really what's happened there. How did you pitch it in the tattoo studio?

So, you go in, you put a crisp 20 down on the counter and say what can i get for this i do you know what it was a is i think it might be a mistake i read alex's letter to ask me go on the show in full um let's look obviously it's the best one in in this you you brought the best thing in but we should talk about the others tim because i feel for everyone else as soon as you got your foot out i can imagine me being one of the other people sat there going oh for fuck's sake he's yeah he's absolutely done us here it was odd that i didn't go last wasn't it i went fourth but it's funny that you didn't go last wasn't it i went fourth but it's funny that you

didn't go last because there's that moment where greg looks in the mouse cage that roshin's brought him and goes oh dear and you look you look genuinely heartbroken so i don't know um is this too much behind the scenes but does greg would greg have known that i had the tattoo i don't think he would no i don't think so and i think i think his reaction is utterly genuine yeah yeah he's a very good actor ed um but no it's yeah it was weird it was a it was a really weird experience to do it um it was going all in and but once again you don't really know what you're up against no that's true

the book tokens did worry me what when they were so Key had brought in book tokens when the book tokens came out first I thought I've had an absolute shock what have I done what have I done I love that feeling you spoke about that you thought everyone was going to turn around and go,

why the fuck have you done this? That's crazy. Yeah. Like a nightmare. Like a nightmare where suddenly you've changed the tone to such an extent everyone's like, oh God, I think we're going to have to stop filming, guys. I feel sick.

Josh has made me feel sick. Yeah. It was, it was a, I't know i don't think it's one of those things now where you know like you're asking me what it was like getting the tattoo so i don't really remember life before it if you know what i mean yeah sure well you're just a tattooed guy now you know i'm just you know exactly exactly you just think it up. Again, Romesh brought a commissioned portrait of Greg with duck feet. So bizarre, so weird. Odd, really odd.

Really odd that he's taken that to an artist and then gone, go on, yeah, put duck feet on him. Yeah. What's that decision? But he's an artist that would do a drawing for 20 quid. Yeah, that's true. But then you went to a tattoo artist who would do a tattoo for 20 quid permanently on your body true yeah frank uh see behind me sunglasses which i mean i know there's lots of jokes about frank being of uh you know of an older vintage than everyone else but

see but see behind me sunglasses exactly what your granddad would buy you and think it's a cool dude present. Yes. Yeah, yeah. It's really... It's really weak. It's a proper stocking filler, isn't it? It's a proper granddad stocking filler. I've not really thought about this until the day before the record. Yeah. And Roshin brought a mouse and three scratch cards.

Now, we know the tattoo is still around. I've not heard anything about that mouse and I've been to Greg's flat a lot since then yes well there you go I don't even know I don't even remember what happened to the mouse I don't remember seeing it with Greg's belongings in the green room

or anything yeah oh dear I mean it could easily have just been let loose and clap them grand and it would have fitted in perfectly with the ambience. Look, I've got my own mouse. He's also

called Greg. So have I. I've got a tattoo of his name. Task four. It's a rare four-task episode. Using only the items on this table, get the egg as high as possible. Highest wins, the egg must not break. You have 20 minutes. Your time starts now. I mean, it's a classic egg task.

It's another egg taskmaster. It's a bit Taskmaster 101, isn't it? Like, it's very much first series of Taskmaster, just don't break an egg. Yeah, the main task is don't break an egg. Yeah, just... The main task is, don't break an egg. This is one of my favourite Roisin Conaty task performances. She comes up with the idea to throw it in the air because she works out that you can just take the measurement from when the egg is at its highest.

It doesn't need to stay there. Chucks it in the air and immediately drops it. It really is... It really is great I'd forgotten about that and watching this back I proper screamed laughing it's so

it's just the perfect perfect little play Tim thinks ahead and boils his yeah I mean you're not allowed to do that right

well it breaks anyway yeah so it's how long did we have 20 minutes it's complete nonsense he had 20 minutes he boiled it but he must have only boiled it for a minute and a half because it's it's how long do we have 20 minutes it's complete nonsense he had 20 minutes

he boiled it but he must have only boiled it for a minute and a half because it's still like really runny inside yeah it's the equipment that wasn't on the table as frank rightly points out yeah um yeah it was i'd say this is the lowest level of quality of performance across a task of the whole series. It's very hard, though, because I don't know what all the equipment was, but there wasn't any tape on there, because my first thought was if there was some tape,

maybe tape it to the ceiling or something. What was weird about it is, I know this is almost obviously, presumably, what was meant to happen, but all of the equipment was so useless which was presumably the point right yeah like that you thought you spent the whole task presuming you'd missed what it was about yeah like when you're watching other people you're like oh they're gonna do something that's like this classic thing you're meant to do with these items like, oh, they're going to do something that's like this classic thing

you're meant to do with these items. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or there's like a massive loophole or there's something written somewhere else which says, you know, if you do this, then, yeah. It's a really tricky one. But I think you and Frank were the ones who went about it in the right way by using the paper to shield the egg. I did it really badly. You did it in a really weird way but yours paid off well it yeah it didn't it didn't in that it didn't even land

in the paper like it just threw it just happened that i was on the grass yeah you spent so long making that little bed for the egg and then completely missed it. Completely missed it? Why would that bed be any better than me doing a kind of cushioned catch? Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, no, it wouldn't be at all. And also, then there's this mad moment where I throw it again. Oh, that is, you completely lost your mind. Why have another go at it?

Why have I done that? Why have I done that? Why have I done that? But you were lucky because Frank managed to wrap his paper two or three times throughout in the air and then it still broke. Yeah. I thought Frank's was the best. Of all the people that did the task,

I thought Frank approached it in the best way. Definitely. Yeah, it just didn't work out for him, which meant ended up uh with zero points as did Roshin obviously uh Ramesh did did an okay job he did he you know not too bad yeah yeah I think um but once again if you're getting four points for that everyone done badly right yeah yeah I mean that's another one of those isn't it if you can get through it without breaking the egg, then at least you're on the scoreboard. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. So, Tim Key, zero points again, because he only parboiled the egg. I'm sure you're all thinking the same thing as me. I'm amazed I give a shit, but it genuinely is quite tense, isn't it? Studio task. Stand up after 100 seconds. I give a shit but it genuinely is quite tense isn't it studio task stand up

after 100 seconds absolutely the most the most simple studio task has ever been I think how are you

putting that on TV but it works Josh it works it totally works I bet that wasn't in the snivelling

little pitch document that Alex wrote to Dave pleading for a TV show yeah i noticed he didn't put that in his letter to you going it's gonna be fun you might have to stand up after 100 seconds it doesn't work on paper does it no um now you and you and romesh uh you both stood up around the same time do you think that's because you're both getting a lot on the circuit i think you did i think you both stood up around the same time do you think that's because you're both gigging a lot on the circuit

I think you I think you develop timekeeping skills I had it in my series I had to blow up balloons for 10 minutes

or blow up balloons and then pop them all within 10 minutes but with no timekeeping and I think I did it to like eight and a half nine minutes

yeah I think you just learn how to you know also you were doing your set while you did it which I thought was quite it to like eight and a half, nine minutes. Yeah. I think you just learn how to... You know. Also, you were doing your set while you did it, which I thought was quite helpful. It's a time key. Well, I know you...

Pausing for laughs as well. You and Ramesh were doing a lot of 100-second open spots at the time. We were, yeah. Me doing 105 seconds is actually the only time in the history of comedy where I've overrun. Anyone who saw Josh's 37-minute debut Edinburgh show will attest to that. So it was a tie-break.

You were both on 22 points at the end of that episode. And the tie-break was, again, we're having a go at Frank here. What is Frank Skinner's age in minutes? You guessed 200,000 Ramesh guessed 150,000 and the answer was actually about three and a half million

yeah but I guessed 200,000 because he'd already gone 150,000 and so it's that thing where you just go a little bit higher but I worked out quite quickly, like he's a maths teacher Ed or he was

he really should have got that but 150,000 is very very low, it's a terrible guess that's a really bad guess, yeah it's a terrible guess from Romesh so it means you take the episode, deservedly I think took the episode a real comeback after the terrible

opening two tasks yeah totally well you got four five pointers in a row look at that so you absolutely deserve to win that episode in my opinion thank you and went on to win the series which you were very happy about

I loved winning the series I'm the only person who got a different trophy because on the day, they realised that they didn't have a trophy. So they just had to go. This is a proper TV show. Just won a BAFTA.

They had to just go to a local trophy place. And it's like a trophy with a golfer on it. You know what? That had completely escaped my memory that you didn't you didn't get a proper trophy for it i can see yours in the background as we record yes i didn't get one of them pretty jealous i got a golf a golf trophy but then in champion of champions you got a full a full body one right i got the full body, which they said, do you want it delivered? Yeah.

And I said, could you deliver it to my agents? And now if you go to... And they're quite a kind of agent where a lot of big comedians will go to their office, right? So it's like... And they've got the thing in the corner of the kitchen area is the big six foot six great body. Without a head, yeah that's very cool as well because he is not represented by your agency no he's represented by rival agency um and so uh they're slightly worried that the uh trophy has been bugged well i was just thinking because he's represented by a rival agency, having the headless appearance of his corpse in the corner of the kitchen might seem like a more aggressive statement than it was intended.

We actually did have an email about that from Louise. She said, can I ask Josh if you've got to keep the massive statue from Champion of Champions? So I could have kept it, but I wouldn't have wanted it. We've got a couple more emails, Josh, if you don't mind answering a couple of these um hello josh my question is that when you were asked to come back were you excited to be back and compete or highly cautious from george price uh i was a bit cautious actually that's um i because i'd really enjoyed it. And you know, you don't want to do something again and then it not be as fun. Yeah.

But I'd had such fun. I really enjoyed the days of recording. There was no way I wasn't going to do it. Yeah. But I just, I just thought I've got away with this. I haven't made a prat of myself. I did the champion of Champions really soon.

Like it was the week after my daughter was born. Oh, wow. So I was absolutely exhausted. And also everyone else did it on two days, but they managed to put all the tasks in one, two episodes in one day. So it was like this really intense day. So it was a bit of a kind of blur. It was quite nice to get out really intense day. So it was a bit of a kind of blur.

It was quite nice to get out of the house, but it was a bit of a blur because it was then. Beckett did it, his first series, he did his Taskmaster, he did it like three days after his daughter had been born. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's why he's so manic for the whole thing.

Yeah. And that's just his's so manic for the whole thing yeah and that's just his personality right this is from Spencer I had a question for Josh has Josh ever been inclined to find out the number of peas in a tin of garden peas many thanks no I haven't I still think I undertook

that task well you know they did a second trick on me yes in Champion of Champions you had to sing the theme tune right let's sing the theme tune yeah again but again you took it very well yeah yeah exactly it's bullying it is bullying I sucked up to the bullies that's what I did I was I'm a classic victim it is very interesting because I hadn't realized that until you said it earlier that they do pick they have picked the most sort of placid people to bully in that way. Because they did it to Mark Watson as well

in series five. Yeah. And he was definitely the most placid. He just looks sort of broken by it. I think you were watching The Island. Yeah, that was it, yeah. Bear Grylls was in that series as well yeah I mean this does Alex listen to this I'm sure

he does he's obsessed with his own but he I dare you Alex to you know book someone who scares you and play a prank on them yeah if you ever book Sean Lock Alex I dare you

I absolutely dare you oh this this is this is full nerd i hope you're ready for this josh uh yeah hi guys i think it was rose matafayo who suggested the taskmaster animal was a duck when she was on the podcast during series 10 it reminded me of a bugbear going back to josh's time on taskmaster i never thought there would be a time to address it but now you're going over old shows it's perfect during the price task he offered us a magic eye photo of the taskmaster but if you can actually see magic eye pictures the picture is of a rubber duck in profile does this back up the claim that the duck is the program's animal was this josh being naughty or did the production provide him with his lying poster of course of course it's the third one yeah greg apparently said i'll take it at your word that it's a picture of me and we'll have words

later if it isn't and gave him four points four fraudulent points that led to josh winning the series and going on to the champion series i think josh needs to address this when you get him on keep up the good work chris and suffolk i would say uh that it's not my point not my fault if um if alex horner's lied to me yeah so what's happened is you've said i want to bring in a magic eye picture of the Taskmaster. I want to have that made. Yeah. And they've brought in one with a duck on it. Presumably, I can't do magic eyes. So we're taking this guy at his word.

That's true. He might be lying. I can't do magic eyes, so I had no idea I was being lied to. I only vaguely remember this happening. Obviously, I'm not denying it did but I would presume they they provided it because I don't know where I'd have got a magic eye in 2015 yeah well 2015 I think they're I think magic eyes predate 2015 right oh no but I mean they weren't really I wouldn't they weren't kicking no I know they predate I mean, they weren't really, I wouldn't, they weren't kicking. No, I know they pre, I mean, Oh, sorry. They wouldn't steal around.

2016. I think it was just after Brexit, wasn't it? We'll do, we'll do one more. Hi Ed. Hi Josh. First, I want to thank Josh. First, I want to thank Josh for letting Devin be known for something outside of Clotted Cream and a sheep-based theme park. Yes.

For the actual question, I would like to know what it feels like knowing you only definitively won and avoided a three-way tiebreaker by figuring out how many grains of rice there was in a bag. Thanks for making lockdowns a bit more tolerable, Tom. So Tom's given with one hand and taken away with the other, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's thanked you for all your hard work for the area of Devon. And then he said... The area of Devon. The county the county of devon it's an air it's a broad area and then he's basically got on to say how can you sleep at night yeah yeah fine um but it's it is an interesting question actually yeah because when you're watching re-watching the

tasks today and you you know you've won the series by one point and i won champions by one point yeah and you think geez all of these are so spurious and they could have gone anyway yeah i did i was like if that egg had cracked i wouldn't i'd have come third yeah it's really especially in those early series where there's only six episodes yeah it's obviously

going to be that close it's going to come down to one point here and there I think once it gets on to my series I think I won by seven or eight points

but it's such a long process that people have earned where they are and you've gone through a whole journey with them in a rollercoaster and it's sort of the league table sits where it sits because you know people have got to it through loads of tasks i i think also like i know you're not into sport

but like you people do this with football a lot they'll get to the end of a season and they'll be like liverpool lost the seat league to man city by one point and uh two years ago and people are like oh if only that one shot hadn't hit the post yeah but there's there's 400 variables yeah do you know what i mean yeah sorry i've started talking seriously about it like it's a sport but that is like josh that's what this whole podcast is predicated on sorry sorry but yeah it sorry. But yeah, it does like, I did start thinking about the egg thing and I was like, oh God, I wouldn't have won.

And then, you know, they wouldn't have been able to bug my agent's office with that big body or whatever. But like, I didn't, like, that's kind of where madness lies, isn't it? Yeah, totally. No, I think, yeah. I think the only claim is that, was the beans point but as i've

said that is a bonus point for being the placid personality that i am exactly uh josh thank you so much for bringing your placid personality onto the taskmaster podcast we always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast uh one to five points could you do that now for me please uh five thank you very much. I've loved it. I've very much enjoyed it. It's been lovely, hasn't it, Andrew? Can I say one more thing about a letter that Alex sent me?

Please. So when I did the Champion of Champions and my daughter had just been born, they'd put a task letter in my dressing room for my daughter. And I was very tired tired but I opened it up and it said it was done as a task

and it said dear Pearl have the best life ever your time starts now and I started to cry and it was like it was so nice and we've got it framed

on her nursery wall oh that's so nice yeah so you know to balance out that so we've got a letter at each stage of the at one end and the other of the interview but i even thinking about that now makes me it's really lovely and then hopefully when pearl grows up she can take that uh letter uh onto a comedy panel show and show absolutely no emotion about it whatsoever

fingers crossed thank you very much josh cheers mate there we go thank you josh what a wonderful episode that was quite emotional at the end there i thought it's it would it's so nice i think taskmaster means a lot to the people who are on it um and uh it's a fond memories to a lot of people which is lovely uh no i mean i'm sure the fondest memory involved in that story was josh having his child i think taskmaster had a text texture to it although i just like to say i'm so committed to the show and that um within my memories if i were to have a child taskmaster would still uh still trump that Why not join us next week? We'll be talking to another brilliant special guest

Do get your questions in Taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com for our special guest next week. I will announce who that is on Twitter. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast, like the podcast, rate the podcast, do all of that sort of thing. Tell your friends about the podcast

If you have friends who are into Taskmaster and they never heard the podcast tell them to get on it it's a good excuse to go back and watch the entire series again go do it and I know there's people getting into Taskmaster all of the time especially during this lockdown because you know there's so many episodes to watch you can go back you can go on multiple journeys with multiple casts and it's a very exciting thing to discover tell them about the podcast as well because it's a wonderful companion uh in these times so thank you very much for listening we'll see you again next week goodbye We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures.

Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.