Robert Kelly's You Know What Dude! - Ep 16. Nicola Coughlan - S1 Ep.4

Episode Date: January 28, 2021

This week on the podcast Ed is joined by star of Derry Girls, Bridgerton and of course The Taskmaster New Year's Treat - it's Nicola Coughlan! The pair discuss Nicola's love for the show and how much she enjoyed do the NY special - despite some questionable decisions from Greg. They also take a deep dive in to Episode 4 of Series 1. This episode includes the ice task, getting to 11 points and some special moments for Josh. Enjoy!  If you would like to watch along as Ed and his guests revisit the early series of Taskmaster then go to https://www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster/episode-guide where you will find all episodes. Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com  Sales, advertising and general enquiries:[e-mail] the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes. Because that's alcohol, and we deliver that too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. My name is Ed Gamble, I am the host of the Taskmaster podcast and today we are doing a deep dive on episode 4 of series 1 of Taskmaster. If you're just joining us, we've gone back to the beginning with Taskmaster. The way we do things here is we take one episode and we talk about it in depth. We give it more attention than anybody ever should. That's the way we do things. You can't get us on that. We've gone back to the beginning of the series. We're on episode four

of Taskmaster ever in series one and we will be proceeding through in chronological order with a brilliant guest every episode. Now, up until this point, all of our guests for the Series 1 chat-through have been people who've been involved in this series. We had Alex Horne. We've had two of the contestants from Taskmaster Series 1. Today, not the case. Today, we have a brilliant, wonderful special guest in Nicola Coughlin. Nicola Coughlin, of course, a brilliant actor. You've seen her in D Derry Girls you've seen her in Bridgerton and most crucially you have seen her

in the Taskmaster New Year's Treat it was a one-off episode if you've not seen that go back watch it we will be talking about that it was Nicola it was John Hanna

it was Ryland it was Krishnaguru Murthy and it was Shirley Ballas and yes that sounds like a motley crew. And it was, and they were brilliant. It worked. So go back, listen to that. Go back and watch Series 1, Episode 4.

Come back, listen to this podcast. It's going to be a ball. We will see you on the other side. Welcome, Nicola, to the Taskmaster podcast. Well, thank you for having me. It's so exciting to have you here. Thank you very much for agreeing to come on. My pleasure.

You are, not only are you a fan of the show, I'm told, you're also a previous contestant in the New Year's special. I was a one offer. Also, it was funny because the offer came through at the time of my biggest obsession with Taskmaster because because my mom i can't get her to watch anything other than whatever's on itv3 and i was like look there's a show i think you might like it oh my god i've just spotted your trophy behind you that's really exciting the that is where the trophy lives whenever we have amazing people on the podcast it does look like i'm just sort of rubbing it in

their faces by having it there but yeah i mean i wasn't even close but yeah but so I started getting my mom to watch it and she absolutely loves it and then the email came through and I was like yes yes yes yes yes yes and then when it finished it was so quick I was really sad I came home in the car from the studio and I was like I feel really sad oh yeah because I've no more Taskmaster I've done it but it was yeah it was brilliant a one-off that that must that must feel really difficult because I've known more Taskmaster, I've done it. But it was brilliant. A one-off, that must feel really difficult because I felt pretty bummed out after 10 episodes, but you think 10 episodes is probably enough. Like it's a lot of filming

and you really go through it over five nights. But one episode, just enough to get a taste of how fun it is and then have it snatched away from you. But it's like, it's funny because I say to people, sometimes you do shows that look really fun and you're like, yay. And then you get there, you're like, oh, it's like it's funny because I say to people sometimes you do shows that look really fun and you're like yay and then you get there you're like oh it's okay it's not but Taskmaster is as fun as it looks like it is it was just pure joy and Alex Horne is like the world's nicest man so when you spend the day doing tasks also I thought I'd done absolutely phenomenally incredible

at all my tasks I literally my friend Camilla is a huge fan of the show and she was like how did you do and i was like spoiler i did amazing and i truly thought i did so like when i watched it back i was like oh okay okay that was you have no concept do you exactly it's always a mistake i think to think that you've done either very well or very badly i think it's safer to think you've done badly and then you can only be surprised it's the it's the old exam technique you've got to assume you've done badly yeah pretty much that that definitely came across in your episode i think as well that you were so surprised that you hadn't beaten everyone in everything like the the donut on the donut on the cactus i have i have issues by that i'm not happy i literally on the day right so i ran out of the

house and they had that sort of crystal maze dome thing and i saw the giant cactus and i was like oh my god like this is sent from god this is perfect so i brought it in and put it down and then i just put and the donut went you know it went through and i said alex can you confirm to me don't i don't let me again um. Alex was like, yeah, it's through. And I was like, okay. And then I was like,

can I do what I want? So I made a lovely fancy man. It was a tribute to Alex. And I sort of dressed him up in a suit. And I was like, that's class. And it was really massive. So do you feel like you've been betrayed somewhat by Alex?

Because he, he did, he did clarify that your donut was through the cactus was through the donut i feel betrayed that this is yeah i'm gonna like start a rap beef with alex i have to learn to rap first we're gonna be like the frankie and amen of 2021 alex we're in the rivalry um but yeah no it's very generous of you nicola to say that it's you who needs to learn how to rap to have a rap battle with alex i feel like he might he might have to do some prep work as well i think probably but it was funny because i became one of those really bitter people online that people started

sending me tweets like you were robbed with the cactus and i was like like like like yes i was and i was like step away step away from twitter yeah did you feel while you were filming in the studio did you feel that were you getting angry during the studio as well because my favorite quote of yours from that episode is uh there's an awful lot of people talking shite in here today i'll tell you that for free well it was like the thing was it was the first one i thought that i had the most incredible prize to ask because when it was like bring the best thing to a party and the first thing was like twister not twister oh someone's done twister okay already ready and then i was like a stead body and alcohol i was like that's brilliant yeah i was like wow i can't believe

i've thought of something so great i do agree with you nicola i think you had the best the best thank you i just think if they're walking if someone's walking through a door the best thing to see is someone walking through a door with a skeleton on wheels holding a bottle of tequila it's great you don't expect it yeah exactly you know the drinks charlie absolutely lovely and shirley did a great presentation but i think she was just so sassy and sensual i had no i had no chance you know yeah she sold she sold her stuff she sold it so well yeah if you'd um shown the skeleton to Greg and then done a little shimmy then maybe that would have I know I needed to be like shantay passe but I didn't think of it she was after me so I was just

screwed would you would you have liked to have done a full series? Yeah, do you know what? I really would have actually. And then that's why I felt so gutted in the car when I left. I was like, why didn't I say yes to the one-off? But also I have like two shows that I have to film this year in the midst of COVID. So I don't know when that would ever happen.

But also when I started doing Badly, in my head I was having so much like ongoing dialogue with myself being like doesn't matter that you've done badly it's better because if you won you would never be able to come back but maybe you will I was like a little kid I was like I don't want to I don't want to go don't make me go I like it here you people are so nice yeah it does it really feels like that because the crew are so amazing so nice in the house and they like they text you i don't know if you got this nickel maybe i got a special treatment they text you in the car on the way and say what would you like for breakfast this morning

and that that just made me feel like i was going over to my family's house oh my god well we had see we filmed during covid so there was like almost like an extra unofficial task in which they said you know would you like to pick what we have for lunch and I was like yeah they're like just as a thing everyone has to have the same and they handed me pressure I was so stressed out so I was sat there going um um okay okay and it was like Wagamama's Pret Nando's or a sushi place and then I went with Nando's and then the crew for the rest of the day were like kept kept coming over and be like, thank you so much for picking Nando's. We were all really happy. And it was like the best feeling

because like, they're all so lovely. You're like, I don't want to let all these people down. I don't want to, yeah. Did they say anything like when Rylan came and he made us all have sushi? No, the thing is you can't but love Rylan. Yeah, true. We bonded over one.

I love a gadget. I am pretty cool, Ed Ed I think you're gathering that quite quickly but I love gadgets and one of my favorite things ever is my robot hoover yeah and Rylan told me like he wasn't supposed to tell me what his thing was but he told me right before we went on stage and I was like I love them so much so also like even if I had like quibbles with what Rylan said I couldn't say it because I just liked him too much. Yeah, he is lovely. The robot Hoover thing.

Now, this is a diversion. Does it really work? Is it a strong enough Hoover? I don't know if you want to get me started on this because it might just become the podcast about. Yes, it's amazing. It's when I got my first paycheck from Dairy Girls. That's what I bought my mum. And it just like goes around the house

and they're really cute. You kind of become like weirdly attached to them. They've got this kind of anthropomorphic quality. You're like my little tiny cute little thing. Look at you picking up all the dirt. It's the best thing ever. Yes, definitely get one. Treat yourself.

But it obviously can't go upstairs. You need to help it up the stairs. Yes. I live in like a small flat in London and the stairs are like a communal area so i'm like they don't count they don't need to get hoovered yeah they're just like they're no man's land it's fine yeah that's all right i think the day they invent one that can go upstairs that's the end of the human race yeah yeah we're done by then but i'll accept our robot overlords it will

be fine okay well i think we should i think we should get into this episode so this is series series one episode four yes we're well into the swing of it now so we've talked about your prize task the prize task in this episode is most beautiful item uh again i think i say this every week this was back in the day where the prize tasks were pretty simple pretty straightforward most beautiful item um do you first of all do you have anything that you immediately thought i i would have brought that in that that would be that would be my thing i think so i quite liked what josh did getting something commissioned but with the magic eye you're doing a risk because a lot of people can't see them and i can't see them so if if I were Greg, I would immediately be annoyed.

So I think I would get a portrait of Greg as the Venus de Milo. Very nice. Yeah. With Alex cherubs around. Oh, that is beautiful. I was just about to say that's beautiful. And that's exactly what the task is. You know, he'd be a lovely Venus de Milo as well, Greg. He would be beautiful, wouldn't he?

Yeah. Yeah, he would. He would. The magic eye thing was controversial. We had Josh on the podcast last week. Yes. And someone wrote in to say, was it really a magic eye of Greg?

And Josh said, no, it was not a magic eye of Greg. It was a... I don't think you should find anyone to make magic eyes. So he shouldn't have got the points because it was all based on the fact that it was Greg in in the magic eye no i told i'm too gullible i totally believed him and i was like he's gone to all that effort the poor thing so he's got that lovely innocent little face that i'm like okay of course you did it you little cutie pie yeah he'd be a lovely he'd be a lovely cherub as well wouldn't he yeah yeah he could be on to be fair josh had the week before got the tattoo so i i feel like oh true enough effort

yeah yeah that i mean that was just next level amazing yeah um the magic eye was a nice idea but the fact he didn't carry through with it means he shouldn't have got those points no he shouldn't have got those points frank skinner brought in something that i would never ever describe as beautiful uh the country mouse themed vacuum cover it was absolutely horrific i don't know your your feelings on that it was the scariest thing i've ever seen in my life i wrote down on a note so scary where did he i don't think he explained where he got it did he it was just like a horrible and it was a huge tall vacuum like from back in the day it's very disgusting i don't know where now i've got this image of frank skinner just living in a weird museum in the middle of nowhere because he had grape scissors

one week uh as his prize task yeah um and now he's brought in that vacuum cover how does he have that to hand no it was too haunted i don't know i really hated it i hated looking at it i hated it knowing that it exists so bad the whole thing yeah terrible you would have been scared as well of course because you're not used to seeing a hoover that big this is true all my hoovers are automatic tiny cute little guys and i'm like what is this giant no for me for me that that should have been bottom i didn't like that at all it creeped me out that the fact that that got three points is just i don't know what i don't know what to say about that i'm really unacceptable i feel like greg

might not necessarily be as invested in it now but if i were to text him and say why the hell did you give frank skinner three points for that vacuum cover? Me and Nicola are outraged. Yeah, we're absolutely disgusted. We're like, get out, we're going to fight you. We're going to beat you up. I like beat up one of his arms. That's what I like.

He's a very tall man. Absolutely huge. And you know what? I've known him for years and still every time I see him, it surprises me. Yeah, it's like, it really is isn't it and my mom it's funny because my mom said and it's that other little fella very tiny altogether i said mommy's not he's like six one probably six one yeah but it just shows you until even when i met alex but oh he's quite quite big isn't he yeah

i was like oh he's just like it's the power i'm gonna start saying introducing myself as like the olympic skier nicola cockland just because it will get into people's brains and i'll be like yes yes i am that's it that's how it's the same technique that's how donald trump became president you just say the same thing over and over again and people eventually believe it's true greg is greg is the trump of like entertainment. And I'll stand by that. I've always thought it. I got so upset. Now, Roisin's cardigan. Lovely. We need to have a chat about this.

I liked it. Okay, interesting. Because I think it's one of the most horrific cardigans I've ever seen in my life. Oh, no, but Roisin is just, she's just such a delightful human. True. And it just was colorful and lovely and I feel like she was outnumbered by the men and they all told her it was horrible but I mean I feel like that would brighten up my day if someone walked into a room wearing that no do you think it is a gender divide then do you think women like that cardigan and men hate that cardigan because that when they asked the audience who likes the cardigan women cheered then when they said who thinks the cardigan

is horrible all the men yeah yeah yeah I think 100% yes yeah yeah see my instant thought was when she said people come up to me all the time and say that's a lovely cardigan I feel like it's people coming up to her because they think she's brave for wearing it in public no i don't know i i i'm a cardigan fan justice for the cardigan sure sure sure i mean we haven't actually secured roshin for the podcast yet and i and i have a feeling that just me saying that now means she's never going to come and do it. So apologies, Roshi. Do you want to record an alternative where you're like, it's a great cardigan. Okay, yeah, let's get this now.

What a lovely cardigan. Five points from me. Love her to come on the podcast. That's perfect. Thank you. Ramesh went with a figurine of a mother and child. Now, this is the figurine version of the cardigan for me i did not like that one bit no it was really it was like do you remember the early 2000s it was a really

ugly phrase of like house decoration and just it was just like a horrible you know you find it in the back of loads of other crap in a tk max and you're like yeah um but i liked that josh's response words you were not this person of all at all yeah yeah because that's true and the thing with rummage is he can't pretend to be anyone else so even when he was talking about the figurine and talking about how beautiful it was and how much it meant to him he did that horrible fake smile that he does that just gives me the creeps proper murderer's smile hate it greg called it a horrible piece of tass that's yeah the best description of it it was that is perfect it was just crap wasn't it and i think it was crap yeah he knew exactly he knew and i think if he'd sold it better if he could have brought himself

to actually you know put a bit of performance into it and sold it i think it would have scored higher if he'd said this reminds me of my wife and my my first son being born whereas what he actually said was that doesn't look anything like my wife so immediately removed himself yeah he just sold himself down the river completely yeah exactly um tim uh now this obviously started a whole a whole story uh he went with the flight to cologne to see the cathedral and are you aware of the trip to cologne they took no i really want to know about it so yeah at the end of the show they organized a trip to cologne based on the fact that tim bought this prize task in the end it was just frank tim and josh who went um romesh didn't even go and his name was on the ticket i think it's a good prize task it's one of those early ones where you feel

like people have really invested a lot in that they've actually they've actually really really gone for it i loved it i wrote down amazing it's so exciting and like team key is one of the best ever contestants he's because he's but he both puts in loads of effort and is very conniving so it's a very thrilling combination but i yeah i love what a brilliant prize brilliant very deserving winner did you did you watch taskmaster the first series when it was on or have you gone back and watched all of them since i i've gone no i well a bit of both in that i didn't have dave and my brother had it so when i used to go down to my brother's house he'd show it to me and he was like a huge fan but he's one of those fans like talks alongside he's like wait till you see what

tim key does wait till you see what so um yeah i went back and watched them all during like lockdown and i was like this is the most joyful thing on television this is the best thing ever so task one make this ice block disappear as fast as possible you have one hour your time starts now great task straight off the bat i think great task because you know it's one of those ones that you can see and your brain will immediately start going what am i gonna do what am i gonna do um i mean it was just pure it was a lot of this was pure chaos. Romesh, who went at the end, that was just flipping so chaotic. See, I remember seeing this at the time,

and I remember thinking, when Romesh gets the salt out, I remember thinking, he is a genius. No one else has thought to do that. This is incredible. Surely, surely he's going to win. And he did not win by a considerable margin yeah also like frank putting ice in the oven yeah like i have a thing that i don't know but i'm always afraid they're gonna break the device like the actual things in the house yeah i'm like what i don't think you can put water in the oven like that can you the thing is his quotes he said i've never done ice in the oven no one has ever probably that's the thing they encourage you to do as many different things you

can possibly think of or think outside the box and use everything in the house but there's obviously that point where if you are doing something like putting ice in the oven or when noel fielding put a cake in the washing machine oh that was so stressful you know they're obviously stood there going well you can do it and it's probably good tv but this will cost us a considerable amount of money to fix oh my god what would you have done nicola because obviously you said the brain's whirring as soon as you see that block of ice where does your where does your brain go straight away i mean yeah i want to say i would have done something really really different but i think yeah putting in the bath great shows and lots of hot water but i think you need to like really properly start breaking it i think just get all of the sharp and heavy things and just start smashing

the crap out of it i think you know maybe roshi just did it just water yeah that wasn't enough i don't know i just feel like i would have gotten really hurt doing that i could just see me trying to carry a whole massive block of ice just see health and safety hazard i think this is one of those tasks that has rewarded people who just do the route one most efficient thing yeah because obviously there's tasks where if you think outside the box and you do like an odd thing you get rewarded for that but here every time anyone tried to do anything weird so like frank with the oven tim with the river it was just no it's not gonna work you need to go you need to go route one josh widdick and basic bitch way although i just Although I just thought of something. Go on. Dig a hole and bury it.

Yes. That's really good. Yeah. And I feel like there's like a compost heap at the house. So like if you just knock a load of compost off it and just put it away, like... Yeah, see, that's interesting. This actually brings me to a little controversy

within this task, which I think you'll relate to because I think this feels like the same situation as you had with the donut and the cactus. Yeah. At the beginning of the task, Tim asks Alex for a definition of disappear. He says, what do you mean disappear? And Alex says, well, so you can't see it anymore.

And I think that does happen way earlier than Alex says when he puts it in the river. I think it's, you can't see it anymore. It's gone. And then they really punished him. They really punished him by saying, it puts it in the river I think it's you can't see it anymore it's gone and then they really punished him they really punished him by saying it's still in the river it's still melting but if if Alex can't see it but when Tim kept going it's gone mate it's gone yeah he's like stop the clock stop the clock I think Tim was secretly expecting to throw it in the river and it would immediately melt as soon as it hit the water i think a hundred percent he was yeah forgetting all the times he's had ice in his drink and it's just stayed there for ages so the burying thing is interesting because

it obviously would have disappeared quicker than tim would have had it disappear just in the river you wouldn't be able to see it immediately but then i guess by that logic could you have just put a towel over it I don't know it's a thing that you definitely would have to fight it out in the studio to like I feel like if I put it in a compost team I'd probably have to justify that but I feel like if I dug a really good hole then maybe yeah but it's harder have you ever tried to dig a hole in the garden it's actually much harder than you think it is I've not Nicola it does worry. Have you ever tried to dig a hole in the garden? It's actually much harder than you think it is. I've not, Nicola, and it does worry me that you have. It's only a few people I've killed. It's not that many. Come on.

No, I put up my mum's birdhouse to dig and I was like, this is insanely hard. Yeah, I guess digging a hole in the lawn. I mean, yeah, shout out to all the serial killers out there. Well done. You've put more effort in than... They don't really get enough credit and now in the lawn. I mean, yeah, shout out to all the serial killers out there. Well done. You've put more effort in than... They don't really get enough credit and now is the time. They don't get enough credit for the clearly very strong lower backs

that they must have to be able to do that much digging. Well done. Fred and Rose, shout out. Get them on Taskmaster. Taskmaster Serial Killers Edition. I mean, it's not a bad idea

it's not been done yet another new year's special maybe i'm into it so obviously tim went with uh throwing in the tebs which loved it it's great as as a visual feast it was pretty amazing but not the best way of winning the task I think no I did I did feel for him because I feel like it was so clever and I feel like that one it is you just know what you need to do so the fact that he did something really weird I appreciated that a lot yeah yeah do you feel like when the task starts you sort of lose your mind a little bit and you're like you just do whatever you need to do to get it done we did um because you film more tasks than they show so we did one practice task

in which there was this giant fish tank and there was oranges floating in it and then there was all these like bowls on the side in which you could had to balance things on the bowls and whatever and I remember it was really tall and I'm quite small so I was like trying to put my hand in the fish tank and I was like and then it was like when they blew the whistle at the end I was like I am covered in water all over the floor I had stabbed a knife through the oranges and I was like oh my god it feels like you're on a trip like it's just yeah it's weird what happens to you yeah as soon as you open that task you're right it just you go into task mode and it only ends when the whistle is blown and it's almost as if you don't remember what you

did at that moment no you don't definitely not even they had to come into like because i had to be sort of quarantined when i wasn't doing the tasks and they came in they're like are you okay and i just had water sort of all over my lap they were like oh okay and they were like do you want a hairdryer and i said no because i was too embarrassed to admit how badly i'd soaked myself no i'm always fine i like being like this it's it just keeps me awake i love it frank um frank's vibe when he was using the oven he does look like he'd very calmly dispose of a body i think he was just oh the way he he and he had that in the he had the ice in the bath and he was chipping away at it and then moving it to the oven he was just oh the way he he and he had that in the he had the ice in the bath and he was chipping away at it and then moving it to the oven he was just very calmly sort of dismembering the

ice very methodical yeah he's done that before he could have a spot on the serial killer special potentially yeah welcome you back frank skinner quite the revelation that's how he's chosen to admit to his crimes is by coming on this the rummage salt thing was just a disaster and it was the fact he was so proud of it as well at the time that's the happiest I think you are as the whole series he was just genuinely thrilled

and now I know the crushing disappointment of when you think you've done well and you go to the studio and you've absolutely just done a crap job it's very upsetting. Still see it? I can't see it. I can see it.

Stop the clock. I can still see it. What are you talking about? It's just there. It's just bobbing down the river. It's all mixed up. It's part of the river. So it's not disappeared? It has. But I can see it.

Where? Just over there. I was going to have a little look. You can have a look as much as you like, mate. Stop the clock, though. I can see it. Where? Just over there. I was going to have a little look. You can have a look as much as you like, mate. Stop the clock, though. I can see it. It's gone, mate. And now it's time to hear from our BFF bonus fact finder, Alex Horne. Whoopsie. Hello, it's me, Alex Horne, your BFF, Bonus Fact Finder.

And today, your fact is all about the ice task, one of my favourites. For two reasons. First, because it looked so beautiful in the sunlight. And second, because I knew Tim Key was going to throw it in the river. then Tim Key threw it in the river and I was pleased with myself. The fact though is all about the American version of the show. Yes we did the show in America once and this was one of the tasks that we repeated over there. Interestingly one of the main differences between the two shows And interestingly, one of the main differences between the two shows was that over there, we had a swimming pool because it was L.A. And it was always hot. And many of the comedians did throw the ice into the swimming pool, like Mr. Tim Key. The three men in the show also smashed it with spades and hammers.

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Because they were manly. The ladies, on the other hand, Kate Berlant and Lisa Lampanelli, well, they covered it with blankets and rugs, and they won the task because, according to that show, they'd made it disappear. Sometimes simple is best. One other thing. For readers, I need to tell you this. The answer is espadrille.

The answer is espadrille. Okay answer is espadrille. Okay then. Thanks for listening. Thanks for reading. Goodbye. So, task two. Get to 11 points as fast as possible.

Your time starts now. Yeah, this... You don't... There's not a lot of tasks like this on the show. This is... No. A rare sort of task. And it's one of my favourites ever, I think. starts now yeah this you don't there's not a lot of tasks like this on the show this is no a rare sort of task um and it's one of my favorites ever i think um it's brilliant and because i think but i think it would drive me absolutely demented how do you think you would

find it i would go i would go mad absolutely mad mental i'd be running around i'd be just trying out everything possible I would they basically picked the thing to get points the touching head is the one thing that you no one notices that they're doing 100% we're both doing it right now yeah I'm doing it right now I mean we've got 11 points straight away it's it's great to watch it's so fun to watch people utterly confused trying things out at random but to be actually doing it i think i'd go bonkers but also the like i feel so bad for like it was roshan and josh and ramish because they weren't even told what it was that got them the points which would be the worst thing because even those couple of minutes of you watching the task not knowing is so frustrating totally and you're like

surely i'll figure it out and then you're like no i won't but also the fact that all the men got really mad immediately and like who kicked the bucket tim kicked a bucket at the wall and rammus and josh all kicked stuff yeah it's a good experiment to prove things that we knew already i.e if given the opportunity men will kick something as hard as they can against the wall yeah it really had it really had that experiment sort of feel it was like watching you know watching monkeys in a lab yeah i feel like they i want them to do more stuff like that even though it is mildly like brain melty i really loved it yeah i think it's quite good that they haven't because i guess if you'd seen the show before and they did one of

those every series yeah the contestants would be a bit like i can sort of see what's going on here i think they did one a similar one in series six um where it was like uh they had like evidence on the wall with like strings going across and they had to solve that and then the the points came from hopping you had to hop on one foot yeah didn't lisa tarbuck like get it and then people she was like no no no it was like two i can't remember exactly he was on her team yeah no one was listening to her yeah she got she got it and then gave up trying to tell them and just did it and won it for them it was brilliant yeah it was brilliant um and also get proper nerdy uh there's a version of this task in the uh new zealand taskmaster as well there's just been oh no way it's the most kiwi version of this task where they get new zealand task master as well there's just been oh no way it's the most

kiwi version of this task where they get points for complimenting each other i absolutely love that it's really good oh uh the fact that they had no idea afterwards that they had to wait because it's probably a few months from when they filmed that task to when they were doing the studio they had to wait that would keep me up at night that would be torturous even not knowing for me what was on the other side of the wall that we had to do the model on i was like and what is it on the day and they're like you have to wait to the studio and i went what what do you mean i have to wait i can't like you almost want to push the wall down and be like who are you where are you that would drive me mad mad well r Well, Ryland nearly did.

He was screaming, asking the guy questions right up until the end. Just go, what colour is your hat? He was calling the guy seen. Seen, lie down. It was amazing. Could you have taken the wall down? Did it say you weren't allowed to mess with the wall? Oh gosh, what did it say?

I think you could only put your hands through as far as i know but rylan was trying to like break a hole through it and make another hole and but i don't think i should have gotten like a sympathy but there was a couple of tasks in which i was at a disadvantage because of how small i am yeah but the thing is tank that you didn't see the one with the scales which i couldn't reach and then i couldn't reach scenes pole yeah that's most that's most of the tasks i did at one once ask for a point just because i was short and greg didn't give me one which is unfortunate you know he can't i mean he literally and metaphorically can't see from your perspective no no no he's not going to understand the the troubles of a short person i feel like if greg and i met in the 1700s we'd be in a travelling show together.

Little and large. I don't know what our act would be but maybe it's just us walking out on the stage and going, look at this, it's mad, isn't it? I don't think you need an act. I think back then the act would have been look how tall this person is and look how short this person is

and you just walk out and everyone points and then you walk off again and go to the next town. We would have been millionaires it'd be amazing it'd be great and now i guess now maybe yeah yeah i think there will be after covid's gone you know and all the the theaters are back up and running they need shows that can just be ready like that harmases with Apollo me and Greg walk out on stage bow everyone goes fucking mad. I think for the Apollo maybe you'd need to like add some stuff to the act

like maybe have something on a high shelf and then you you try and get it and then he comes in and gets it for you. That's yeah that's a good one.

We also probably need a medium guy just for like reference so are you up for that? Yeah I'll be the control ed gamble average height man i don't know how tall are you i'm six i'm six one so oh you're a bit tall well i could i do want to be involved though would you cut your hair a little take a little

bit off yeah i'll shave i'll shave my i'll shave the top of my head off so okay down to six foot then yeah i think we would love greg and i would love you to be involved okay great thank you yeah greg's on board already right greg's i think greg's really excited about it there's a lot of buzz a lot of buzz um now we've got to now talk about uh the additional josh tasks because this is the famous episode where josh has to count beans spaghetti hoops and rice and he is the only person who has to do it and this obviously established a long tradition in taskmaster of making one person do something that no one else has to do it's one of the best things about

taskmaster it's so good i love it so much and i had forgotten that the last one was rice and i like re-watching audibly gasped and it's just so bad but like he's just so kind of calm about i just like he just should have i'm glad that he got a point for it because i would have been really heartbroken yeah he was like you're my special little boy like that was so funny it is it is amazing but i'm glad they're sparing with it as well because i think they've stopped doing it every series because i think james acaster said and i was the same when we were doing the show every single task we were doing we were constantly thinking is this just me doing it oh really and it really makes you paranoid it's like this is exactly the sort of

thing they're going to screw me over by making me do this it was rylan they had rylan in our one he had to do um he had a great idea yeah but he never actually said what the idea was he just i've had a great idea and not expand on it um so with with that one as well because also josh was quite kind of proud of how he'd done as well so with the rice you know he was weighing the rice out he was working out the sums and he was like yeah i've done really well here and it's that thing he says at the end of the rice where he says um you think you think i'm a loser you're the real loser for having to watch this five times in a row i know it's perfect how would you have react how're the real loser for having to watch this five times in a row. I know.

It's perfect. How would you have reacted to having to do something like that, Nicola? Rage. No, I don't. Yeah, I think I would have been sort of livid. Especially the rice. The fucking rice. Come on.

But also he just, he didn't even ask for gloves or anything with the beans. He just got right in there with his little hands. I kind of felt like I don't have any children. I was like, I felt like watching my son. I was like, oh, the poor little fella. It's a shame that this podcast isn't visual in any way because Nicola just did an impression of Josh that was the most squirrel-like thing I've ever seen in my life. He was very squirrely when he was doing it, though.

Very squirrely. And he had his little tray and he was just like got tomato sauce all over his hands. And like, you can ask for things. You could ask for rubber gloves. They won't say no. It's okay.

Just so you didn't want inconvenience anyway. You just had a job to do and you just sat down and did it. Oh, bless him. How, in the first episode where I'm actually winning,

do I feel the saddest I've ever felt? Maybe you should be thinking that the glass is half full and that you're one of my special little boys. So, task three is fill an egg cup with as many tears as possible. Yes. You have 20 minutes. So, it's another filling an egg cup-based thing. Yep.

20 minutes so it's another it's another filling an egg cup based thing yep um which which is interesting uh that it's another it's another um motif in taskmasters eggs and eggs egg cups it's been there since the very beginning this i believe uh alex told us that he told a few people who were taking part in the series about this task as a way of getting them on board for the show um but they'd all by the time they came to do it they'd all forgotten about it i mean i like the way josh also was very nonsensical about it just literally cut an onion straight away and rubbed it into his eye just no thought like commitment how would you have done it i think now i've had a long obviously a very long time to think about this i think i would have gone route one probably in the moment i would have grabbed onions i would have whilst doing the onions thought about something sad i would have done as many

different things as possible yeah to try to yawning just to try and get the tears out but thinking about it here's how i would have tried to get around it in a really annoying way nicola okay all the tasks are written down you don't hear them out loud from anyone else apart from yourself yes so tears is spelt the same as tears oh could you have got loads of bits of paper torn them a little bit and then packed as many into the egg cup as possible maybe that would be very thrilling if you were but then i feel like if you you have to you're you have to read it out loud yes and i feel like if you said tears then alex might i was gonna say rip you a new one which

is the least likely thing that alex is ever gonna do but um oh i like that maybe they would have claimed because i think reading it out loud i would have said tears first of all yeah so maybe that then locks it in as tears yeah maybe but it might be it might be worth a go now you're good you're an actor though can you cry on cue i mean if i met like i had to do a lot of crying in bridgerton um but like that's like you know go through your acting process and all that stuff so but for this I wouldn't do I would just go pure technical Vicks Vaporub right all over your face a bright light in your eye and the oh the windblower yes all three at once are they things that you would utilize on set as well or would you

you wouldn't go go get the leaf blower and the Vicks Vaporub, I've got to try and see. Some poor PA, blow Nicola's face. You're like, yeah, no problem. Unfortunately, no, I don't. But they do have a thing called Tear Stick, which is like Vicks Vaporub that people can put under your eyes. Once I had to look like I was in Dairy Girls,

I had been awake all through the night drinking caffeine and they put it on me so my eyes would look a little bit bloodshot but and it's a bit like vicks that's why i'm like vicks vapor up just all over the face no i think vicks vapor up is a really good shout and that yeah because obviously that feels more like the sort of thing you do if you're acting like obviously they're not getting an onion they're not doing a romesh just pouring hot sauce directly onto your eyeballs that stressed me out so badly he rubbed so much hot sauce into his eyeballs i'm like you still have to live after this you still have to have vision after this show you need to if i was his mom i would be fuming at him that's how his eyes

got like that it was a hot sauce not a lot of people know that if you notice him in the first three episodes perfectly normalized anyway romish come on the podcast sorry um i yeah i think i would have ended up doing something really dumb like that because yeah i would have been so happy to be there. It's lovely to get booked for television work. I'm going to put my all into this and perhaps damage my health. I mean, but then he went back for a second one. He rubbed it between his fingers and rubbed it into his eyelashes.

He's like, the fact that he didn't, I felt sick for him that he didn't win that. Yeah, oh God. I felt, I was like, I can't believe you could have lost your sight. There's something terrifying about Ramesh because he throws himself into those tasks so hard but he's so unenthusiastic as a man and in the studio he's not like come on i gotta win this but he's like yeah all right whatever but then he's got that within him to do something so horrifying as to rub hot sauce into his eyes it's like he's like a guy from a war film

that you don't think he's going to do anything and he's like the kamikaze guy or something and you're just like, holy shit, where did that come out of? Did not see that coming. It was just, oh my Christ. One of the funniest things ever is Roshin watching Steel Magnolia

and then just enjoying it instead of getting upset. She gives up very quickly on the crying. She just gets sucked into watching Steel Magnolias. She just has a nice time. Yeah. And then Timmy wanting the full Monty. The full Monty, the E.T. audition,

and then asks for powerful art. Yeah. And that picture, I still don't know what that art piece is, the bull farting the man into the wall. I'd love to see it in person one day. Who did that? And it's not cheap looking and it looks like it's in a gallery. Oh, yeah.

It's probably we're just complete philistines and have no idea. People are like, you don't know the bullfart? That moment? I'm like, no, no, I don't. Oh, dear. I mean, where is that now? That must be in a permanent installation. No one's bought that.

You're not going in and seeing a little red sticker on it because someone's going to take it home. Oh, my God. So good. And then Frank singing Old Shep. Old Sh shep very good to utilize the crew though i think that was a really a really good call uh because it doesn't say it has to be your tears yeah um but yeah singing old shep i mean maybe he missed the the sort of age range of the crew a little bit there that's the first time i had ever heard of it yeah i think and unless you really know it's about a dying dog i i don't i don't think it's gonna upset you i think you may as well just talk about

a dog dying rather than singing yeah probably because i don't know about you if i'm having onions like smelling onions or rubbing onions in my eyes i can't focus on the lyrical content of an old elvis song It's one or the other. So Frank won that. I think he got 12 tears and I think that was using the crew was very much the key there. Ramesh got four points. You're right.

It's devastating, isn't it? It's devastating. That he lost by two tears and he'd rubbed half a bottle of hot sauce into his eyes. Because even at the very end, there was one streaming down his face that he didn't get. He could have just scooped up that last one.

I know. Over hills and meadows we'd stay. Just a boy and his dog. We were both full of fun. We grew up together that way. Frank? Oh, brilliant. That's the first tier so far.

Was it the audience or was it all show? The studio task is memorize the names of an Australian rules football team, most accurate wins. I don't know about you, Nicola. When I watch things back now that were pre-COVID or every time i see more than three people in a studio i go oh my god uh and this just this was a nightmare for my

anxieties yeah my pandemic anxieties get away from each other what are you doing yeah but a really fun a really fun studio task that everyone did terribly at. Well, it was, I felt like it was really difficult for, like easier for the people who were first and last because they always say that's where your memory is best within lists and it's anything in the middle is like gloop. That's the proper psychological term for it. But like they all did pretty much the same, was weird but i like some of the names that they made up like wank plank snoop dog and mr naughty boy they were good with um old i think he was

called uh the yank tank wasn't he tank yeah i think josh got yank bank i don't i don't know how you get to yank bank and don't realise it's Yank Tank. I don't know either. Because that was the one... Did you try and do it? Because I tried to do it when I was watching. And I was like, okay, that one sticks in your head because it sounds a bit rude.

So you kind of remember it. Exactly, yeah. But also when they said it, because I have a thing for remembering people's names when I meet them. So it's like, if I met you for the first time i'd be like just think of another ed which i currently can't so it's a really bad example there's literally never been anyone called ed in the world before is it like ed was the guy i'm married with

children that's a weird one or the horse mr ed mr ed right okay got it so you've got so you meet me you think of a horse. Yes. Yes, right. So when we meet you again, a horse will come into my head and I'll be like, oh, Ed. So I was like, oh, I would do great at this, hypothetically, because I would just think, but I don't know anyone called Wank Tank or Yank Tank.

Sorry, Yank Tank. This is Dina. Yeah. Yank Tank. This is Dina. Yeah. Yank Tank. And this is Mr. Naughty Boy. So everyone gets one name right, which was quite nice, but Josh wins the episode and

gets an extra point for counting the beans, the spaghetti hoops and the rice. That was like a beautiful, like coming of age film when like, you know, the dad shows up to the baseball game. Like it was gave me that same emotion when he got that point and then he won the episode. It felt like vindication. Yeah, exactly. My son, I'm so proud.

It was beautiful. But also that's, he wins the series by a point. The whole series he wins by a point. Oh my God. It was by a point. And a lot of people are talking about it being the beans point, which is, you know, quite controversial because no one else got an opportunity to count the beans.

Oh my God. But there's something quite beautiful in that as well. He really is the special little boy. You can't tell me if Ballas had won based on her beans point, you would have been angry about that, right? But yeah, Ballas had her sexy dance moves that I could never compete with. So I just had to realize I was going to be the loser in the middle.

Really great. She'd count those beans with rhythm, wouldn't she? Oh my God. She's just a walking innuendo that woman she did i was like i can't i don't think i could come up if you gave me 10 years i couldn't come up with that many windows it was incredible she was just bang bang bang see even then you've said bang bang bang bang and decided to not make anything of it ballast and then i said she was just bashing them out that's another one maybe I am better than I thought.

Oh, God, Shirley, what have you done to me? Yeah, but there was no shimmy. You didn't shimmy. You didn't give it any glitz or glamour. No, I didn't shimmy. No, I know. Okay, we've got some emails, Nicola, from listeners to the podcast. Okay.

This is from Jo, a question for Nicola, out of her and her brilliant co-stars from Derry Girls who does she think would win a full series of Taskmaster oh well based on the fact that we did Crystal Maze once the five of us and we were

interviewed before and they were like who do you think is going to be shit and we all said Dylan and then they told him that when we were filming we were interviewed before and they were like, who do you think is going to be shit? And we all said Dylan. And then they told him that when we were filming. We were like, no, he didn't. But we did. And then he did way better than the rest of us. Like beyond better than the rest of us.

So yeah, probably Dylan. He's proved himself now. You underestimated him. That's what happens when you underestimate people. They come screaming through. This is a great question. This is from Almuth uh leipzig in germany um hi nicola uh since there weren't any team tasks in the new year's treats with whom would you have liked to be paired up with in terms of efficiency and chaos great question i mean my well-documented love of rylan of course

him he was great he like he just yeah it was so funny and I feel like we could have come up with some good things together and the tall small magical combination yeah of course great yeah well especially if so some of the tasks that you did have to do if you and Ryland were doing them together you could have tackled them way better right you could have absolutely got on his shoulders and felt the lollipop pole loads of stuff you could have done yeah it would have been the lollipop pole. Loads of stuff you could have done. Yeah, it would have been perfect. Do you think that would have been the best team for points?

Or do you think one of the others might have been better in terms of points? Who do I think? I feel like surely she had her own ideas of how to do things. Yeah. As did the other two. Whereas I feel like Rylan and I would work together quite well. Yeah, I agree. Krishnan might have needed someone there just to explain to him two whereas i feel like rylan and i could it would work together quite well yeah you know i agree i agree krishnan might have needed someone there just to explain to him what taskmaster was and

what he'd signed up for but i feel like i would boss krishnan around too much i would just be like make him do stuff but i don't know yeah he's such a nice man he is lovely he's always good for like an astonishing anecdote as well yeah um so you could have got on with the tasks and then just maybe said to christian and tell us about the time you interviewed the dalai lama yeah yeah uh this is from ruby uh how would penelope featherington have dealt with the task master challenges you dealt with would she have sworn on tv oh penelope wouldn't have sworn on television no penelope is quite clever and conniving in her own way and keeps everything I think she would you'd sort of think she was doing nothing and then by the end it would be like a ta-da look it's perfect I've done it and you'd be like what

and she'd be like I'll never reveal my secrets something like that maybe yeah if you've not watched Bridgerton that's a spoiler that she's conniving I guess isn't it yeah hi I did Nicola my question is Nicola who is your favorite contestant and what is your favorite season of Taskmaster if you had to choose anyone from past seasons this is from Georgia oh okay I had to write down a list of my favorites because there's been so many people oh it's really hard um i'm reading my list i mean i can i just say a few people you can say you can say a few people of course you can yeah as i said i loved i like people with sort of chaotic energy on the show and that will do weird stuff so tim key and joe wilkinson were big ones yeah because they just did a bunch of

really weird stuff and also like when tim key tries to cheat it's very fun to watch yeah um mel and noel i loved their season as well mel's just adorable on it she's just so sweet and then no you can see how competitive he is but he's not like overly competitive you know he's not like but you see that he really wants to win yeah he plays it cool though doesn't he he does yeah yeah yeah um in this season with james acaster and carrie godleyman and rod gilbert yeah it was just great yeah just so good in terms of the chaotic people that you enjoy that is basically a season yeah of them they're all they're all chaotic that was yeah that one and you and katie wicks that was great too

thank you um and then the most recent ages until you mentioned me there i was working through chronologically i get it out of the way quickly and i can just enjoy the rest of the list thank god sorry um i thought the latest season was brilliant i loved daisy and johnny and i love moan he's so funny and like i would love to do anything with Mawaan. I just think he's brilliant. Yes, he's amazing. But yeah, just Daisy is just the funniest person ever, isn't she? She's just so funny.

She really is. She really is. I think that, yeah, I think it's good to have a list of a type of contestant you like. Because they're so good at casting people that it's very difficult to pick one person that you've enjoyed from across 10 seasons of it i think yeah because they're all they're all quite different as shan gibson i loved her too yeah she was so cute and yeah there's lots bad more to be like yeah so many people it's hard to pick a favorite in her question georgia also says if you had to choose one person from past seasons to do a team task with who would it be oh i feel like maybe moan actually i feel like moan and i would be on the same wavelength yeah you'd be a great team i think so yeah i like he'd be fun to he'd be fun to do tasks with as well i

think he's fun and he's creative and he thinks outside the box and yeah i think he'd be fun to do stuff with done we're gonna make it we're gonna make it happen yes this is it put it out there in the universe you and me can go and do tasks together at some point um nicola thank you so much for coming onto the taskmaster podcast we always ask our guests to rate their experience on the taskmaster podcast between one and five points so how many points would you give it? I'm going to give it five and I'm going to give one extra point

because we're both very special. Yes. Because we're so special. We get a special Josh Bean point, me and you. That's great. That'll really bring up the average from some of the guests who've decided to give it less than five points because they thought it or mean um paul chowdhury i think someone else might have given it

four just to put me in my place so we're bringing up the average with the six points because we get a special beans point and that is allowed this episode yay thank you so much for coming on nicola thank you so much well there we have it what a fun episode that was thank you so much to nicola for coming in what a brilliant chat hopefully we can convince nicola to come on a future episode as well when we get deeper into the taskmaster series because she knows her stuff those people are hard to find we need to get scroobius pit back on we need to get nicola back on we need to get the proper nerds back on no offense pip or nicola I don't think you'd take that as an insult. But for now thank you very much for listening. We've got so much more to talk about. Do email taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com

with questions for my guest and myself. I will announce the next guest on Twitter in the next few days. But for now keep watching taskmaster on all four go back catch up on the episodes keep watching the youtube channel keep sending in the questions and we will see you next week for another episode of the taskmaster podcast goodbye people are talking an awful lot of shite today i'll tell you that for free. Jeez Louise. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous

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