Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 17. Jayde Adams - S1 Ep.5

Episode Date: February 4, 2021

This week on the podcast Ed is joined by comedian, actor, writer and singer Jayde Adams! Jayde joins Ed to discuss all things Series One, Episode Five. There are long nails, blushing Swedish men and some not very well made beds. All of this plus a blank cheque. Enjoy! If you would like to watch along as Ed and his guests revisit the early series of Taskmaster then go to https://www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster/episode-guide where you will find all episodes. You can find Jayde's new podcast 'Laughable' here: https://shows.acast.com/laughable/episodes/episode-one Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com  Sales, advertising and general enquiries:[e-mail] the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We can wait for clean water solutions, or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures, or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth, or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. It's the Taskmaster podcast. Of course it is. We are not going anywhere.

I'm Ed Gamble. I'm the host. I'm going to be taking you through another episode of Taskmaster from the TV Archive. That's where I'm recording this from. The basement at the bottom of television. Just made that up.

We're chatting about Taskmaster. We're chatting about Taskmaster Series 1 Episode episode five we are going through them in order i hope you're all watching along with us uh it's something to do in it i'll tell you something else to do uh is home tasking has started again yes uh alex did it in the first lockdown where he set tasks for you guys at home to do uh and then uh they put together a brilliant video of all of the best ones that he receives. And that is back. The last one was make a water feature, which is something that we did in series nine.

And it's a lot of fun. And the entrants were absolutely spectacular. So keep an eye out for the home tasking tasks. They go up on a Thursday at noon. Check Alex's Twitter. Check out the Taskmaster Twitter. Check out the Taskmaster YouTube. YouTube.com forward slash Taskmaster.

Get filming yours. Send them in. And you might make the video compilation. It is so much fun. There's been schools doing it. Families doing it. It's a great big inclusive. Wonderful thing.

It's what Taskmaster is all about. The other thing that Taskmaster is all about is this podcast. We are going to be talking to a special guest about Series 1, Episode 5. And the special guest this week is Jade Adams. She is a wonderful comedian, a wonderful performer, a wonderful singer as well on top of all of that. She does loads of great stuff. Not been on taskmaster yet

this is not a former taskmaster guest we're trying to we're trying to vary it up a little bit yes we're going to try and get you all the previous contestants to talk about their specific episodes but i think it's also fun uh to talk to fans of the show uh about what the show means to them uh what they remember about watching it uh and their opinions of how the tasks went etc so let's get on with it this is Taskmaster series one episode five discussed in a podcast format with Jade Adams see you in a bit oh hey Jade Adams welcome to the Taskmaster podcast thanks Ed Gamble I'm really thrilled to be here. Oh good, I'm glad, thank you very much for coming on. We're very happy to have you here and hear you here in the

Taskmaster Podcast which not a lot of people know is recorded from the secret sex dungeon in the Taskmaster house. I am there right now, I am currently being held down by a really, really nice woman called Karen. And right now, I'm in what is referred to as a... What is it called? Karen, what is it called? When you tie your hands behind your back and your feet together. What's that called? What is it?

It's a Christmas turkey. Hog tie. She's whispering. Yes. Yeah, she's a lovely woman, Karen. She's actually uh alex's second cousin so that's the last time we'll be mentioning that uh it's very nice to have you here are you a fan well i hope you are a fan of taskmaster i love taskmaster i'll be

perfectly honest with you it wasn't until i like really knew someone who was in it that I watched it um and that was when I overheard a story that Mawaan Rizwan had tried to inflate an egg to make it float and it was I don't know it was just something about that that really pulled me into the series properly since you've you've come into the show you know your entry point was Mawaan Rizwan inflating an egg which of course that's going to attract anyone to watch a tv show uh have you have you been back and watched any other series are you aware of the people who've been on it do you have any favorites that sort of thing well I have so basically I uh series one is the is the one really I sort of watched the Moana Rizwan episode where he tried to inflate the egg and then I went all the way back to series one because I realized there were

a lot of in there were a lot of in jokes and And there were a few moments where I was like, I need to know what that means and I need to know why that bit's funny. So I went back to series one and I would say it's a really, really classic line up of, well, I'd say people quite close to being sociopaths. That's what I really like about the tasks in the series is that it really brings out a side of people that you don't expect because they're comedians. They're meant to make people laugh. But the level of competitiveness in that series is quite something. Let's look at the prize task. So the prize task is the most valuable item. at the prize task so the prize task is the most valuable item uh before we get to what anyone in the show brought in i'm gonna need to know what you would have brought in jade because

you you seem like a lady with a impressive range of trinkets is that fair to say you've got a lot of trinkets yeah i've got quite a lot of stuff i could have brought in have you got dressing up have you got a dressing up box and uh like a treasure chest because I feel like you could pop around to your house and it'd be like Mr Ben's shop I've got um several vintage suitcases that are filled with um costumes and I collect I collect costumes as a sort of you know like some people would maybe collect teacups and saucers or they might collect like stamps or like money from other countries. Well, I collect costumes and I have I mean, name a person and I could probably do it with somebody. I know every single item I have as well.

So if you name a person, I could tell you how I would make that that costume actually come alive. So is there anything within those magical suitcases that you would bring in as the most valuable item or would they would the suitcase itself be the valuable item what we're thinking well there is I could bring in the entire um I could bring in the entire poster of the film Forrest Gump so like the bench the outfit the suitcase the box of chocolates um and in inside the suitcase the pants the socks and the book i've got all of those things so that's one thing or several things again there would be an argument there greg would argue with you that that's that's not one item so

but i think you'd be very good at arguing back in this situation i think i think greg might actually have to bow to you in quite a lot of the argument situations because i think you could i think you could destroy him with logic well what i would say to him was that he wanted an expensive item but this is a collection of items that have come together to create something that means so much to people in the world because everyone loves the film forrest gump the problem is is you've then tried to appeal to Greg's emotion and sympathy there and he doesn't do that well so if you say everyone loves the film Forrest Gump he'd immediately go I don't he was thick okay well something that might appeal to Greg oh I know I mean it would be a bit of a task getting it in, but I'm sure they'd sort it out. But I've got like a 16-year-old CVP-103 Clavinova, and the sounds on it are pretty cool.

And you can do some like wicked stuff. It's very vintage and very 90s-based stuff you can do on it. But I think that he would be impressed by the capabilities of this old-fashioned keyboard that still has a floppy disk drive. Lovely. He loves weird sounds. So there you go. That's what you're bringing in in i don't know what i'd bring in for most valuable item i'd maybe go all in and i've just got a cat jade so maybe i'd just bring in my own cat what type of cat uh it's a siberian oh lovely so you know monetarily probably not the most valuable item that would be brought in uh but you know it means it means a lot to me and and to my fiance and imagine if i lost the cat that's put that's a lot of value to put up it's

my relationship as well i've just brought up a photograph of the cat as well and i i mean i i know the area that you live in how the hell do you keep that from being stolen uh we keep it in the house jade you've got a house cat it's a house cat we're not letting that out it's too it's too precious it's too precious for the world if that was big enough it would eat both yours and your fiance's face ed in its sleep and that you know what i'd welcome that if if anything at this horrible time that we're all going through i feel like the way that i want to die is to have my face eaten by an absolute cutie pie frank uh brought in a ring uh that he he initially said he'd had uh valued at 600 pounds when he bought he bought it for 600 pounds

and then the production team had it valued and it was now worth 33,995. One of my favourite things about Frank Skinner is as a obviously clearly working class man from Birmingham he is very very proud of the money he has. I remember a story of I was in a rehearsal room with Frank and he was talking to us about money and he said obviously people say money's not important but of course it's important it's made me very happy. He said, but the thing was, I didn't really know whether or not my wife was with me until the day when the bank phoned me up and said, Mr. Skinner, we've lost all of your money. And I turned around to my wife and I told her what the bank manager said. And then my wife turned around to me and said, well, we can downsize.

That's what she said. And I just thought it was like a really like i really love i've heard frank talk often about how rich he is um and there's another story of frank skinner as well this one's about my partner frank had gone on a tour this actually features in frank's book frank had gone on a tour and he hadn't been in the sort of comedian's green room for a while and he was in the green room and rich was there and rich wilson my boyfriend and he decided that he'd go over to frank because everyone was probably a little bit too intimidated so he goes over to frank and he goes hi i'm rich and frank goes yeah me too and shakes his hand absolutely love it um yeah that is that is great there is another thing in frank's book about money that i think about every time i spend money which is uh he says um he used to do a thing where if he'd had a bad

gig uh and you know if he died or he'd not enjoyed the gig he'd always go and spend the money from that gig on something nice to treat himself and i now i now do that and it's a wonderful excuse to buy yourself things and perhaps who knows this £600 ring could have been one of those gifts for a bad gig and now valued at £3,995 at which point you see the colour drain from Frank's face as he realises

he probably shouldn't have brought it on as a prize on an entertainment panel show Yeah he looked absolutely distraught by that realisation. Beautiful, beautiful moment to watch a rich man lose some of his money. Great. Also, that's definitely, if he thought that ring was worth £600, that's definitely not the most valuable thing he could have brought in.

He definitely had things that are worth more than that, A, to him, or B, financially. Well, maybe you just went, oh, love, what ring is it you don't like out of this box full of rings that i've bought you oh this one i'll do i i'll be honest there's that ring also looked like it'd been given to someone like maybe frank's wife and i imagine there was a larger conversation that happened after the recording of taskmaster do you think now you're imagining frank living like a pirate where he's just got huge chests full of rings and stuff

and he just grabbed the top one and went to the studio. You know the old story of the old Birmingham pirate. Now, this is more what I'm talking about. Josh went all in and brought a blank cheque. That is an absolute baller move from Josh Widdicombe, I think. Can we just talk about how this blank check came from Nat West as well? Like, I'm currently with Nat West, but in my head, I'm like, I remember when I was a waitress and I served Ray Winston

and he handed me a Coutts card. And I remember, like, taking a mental note about that. I was like, oh, that's a card that rich people have. And, like, Josh has done well. Like, why the hell is he still with Nat West? Has he still got his savers account from when he was 16 that that would be a very josh thing to still have the savers account honestly like i could 100 believe that um also he still has a checkbook i don't think i've got a checkbook knocking around i can't remember the last time i wrote a check but to be fair this blank check is only you could only get out what josh

had in his account anyway and you know this is a while ago who knows if he the maximum you can write on a check was 20k they said who knows if he had that kicking around i was going to text them about it but i thought it seemed a bit gauche yeah i um i mean i mean it was clever that was the most it was like something it just felt like neither like it could Greg nor Alex could really talk about it like because it was like no I've done exactly what you've asked and yeah I'm the winner yeah it's very confident a very confident entry you're right uh less confident entry slash not even bothering with the entry at all was Roisin who claims he brought in a diamond ring uh but it was worth

12 pounds this is where one this is one of roshin's things where i just thought she could because there's a couple of times in the series where she has these moments of brilliance where she's like oh this and she gets it and she does it and she smashes it yeah and then this one it could have been great if she'd made up a beautiful backstory of it. As a writer herself, having written fantastic shows herself, she could have written a great backstory to that ring, given it to them. She could have been manipulative as well. Let's not forget, Roisin and Greg know each other very, very well.

She could have been so intimate and so personal to him. I think it would have been a good idea had the backstory been there. That's what I'm saying. I think you would have been a good idea had the backstory been there. That's what I'm saying. I think you're right. A backstory is always good. But what I would say is Roshan's always fighting a losing battle with Greg because he does not buy her bullshit at all.

So the more stuff she made up, the more he would have known that she was absolutely talking out of her ass. Yeah, that's awful, isn't it? But also, I think she could have definitely brought something better than this. This feels like she's grabbed it on the way out of the house.

This feels like it's come out of a treasure trove of £12 rings. I can't remember exactly what type of ring was it. Was it like an engagement ring? Well, she said it was diamond. That's all she said it was diamond. It's obviously not diamond. And even when the initial thing of lying and saying it's diamond, she had a big grin on her face as if to say it's definitely not.

I've made it up that's like it's like someone i grew up with going to h samuels and buying a cubric sakona like plate plate silver plated and smiling at his new wife that they're probably they haven't got married but she yeah i do you know what that was the smile of a working class girl who thought that she tricked everyone with a cubic cicada i loved it though i mean i love that i love those prize entries you've always got to have a bottom place uh romesh brought in i mean this look this is a big prize to bring in his car his perjure 407 the problem with this as a prize for the most valuable thing uh is it it's not a good car it was it's a bad car romesh whose was it again was it his wife's i think he said it was his wife's yeah but it was worth they they had that valued as well

at 590 pounds which is it's low it's low for a car it's so similar to a car i had in 1995 like that yeah it's not and i remember we had to get it taken it got we had some sort of um moment my dad was in some sort of like dent or something and it like it would cost more to fix the car so yeah in fact what he's what he's probably done is given a prize over that's going to cost the recipient more to have the car yeah exactly he's maybe he crashed it and he's basically written it off and he's trying to offload it without having to pay to have it towed i think that must be what what's happened there uh let's move on to tim uh who simply brought in eight copies of his own book now not not a great effort from tim who normally goes in we've seen some good prize tasks from tim

we've had the flight to cologne. We've had the reindeer skull. Eight copies of his own book in terms of value. Not good. Especially bearing in mind, I think they were quite drastically reduced in price by the time they got to the studio shows. Yeah, this just looked like he was trying to promote his book. I think Tim's always trying to promote a book. He came on this podcast to promote his book

and he used Taskmaster to promote his previous book he hadn't even signed them what he hadn't even signed them they were just brand new copies of his new book i don't know what he was thinking but what he was probably thinking was i'll get one point for this nope roshin got the one point for the 12 pound diamond ring because of the barefaced cheek of bringing that in. Tim, two points for the copies of his book. Romesh, three points for the car. Four points for Frank's antiques roadshow ring. And Josh, of course, getting the full five points for the blank check.

Now, I don't know what happened with that blank check. There's a lot of rumours flying around that when Frank won the episode, he did take the blank check and get quite a lot of money out of josh's account um but that is a rumor i think i might have heard josh deny so i'm not going to check with him because i like it as a rumor so let's keep spreading it that frank skinner took 12 grand off josh let's say that wasn't it 19 i think he wrote a check on on camera for 19 000 pound yeah he may have written it but he's not taking that to the bank is he surely

you would have to also like in order for that to that that to have gone through i'm sure the bank especially nat west who were constantly worried about fraud i know i get the phone calls constantly they would have phoned josh up and gone sorry, are we giving Frank Skinner 19 grand here? Or I'm sure there would have been a phone call. To which Josh would have had to have said, Jade, as per the rules of Taskmaster, yes, we are. Unfortunately, he won the episode.

He won the prize. What's the maximum you can do? It's 20 grand. 20 grand. What? I would do 20 grand. What? You're twice.

Well, I'm doing the most valuable. I'm putting up a check. Well, deal with it, bitch. Stop it. Task one. Here we go. Task one proper is move this boulder as far as possible. Get this boulder as far from this place as possible.

You have one hour. Your time starts now. This would stress me out straight away because any task where they say do this and you can do it in any way you possibly can and there's a time limit is just sheer panic straight away for me because there's so many options yet they would all disappear from my head straight away when you saw this jade did you did you have an idea of what you'd do yeah i did you know what i saw it and i was like immediately yeah no i'd smash it but also i know how um panicked i get when my heart rate um goes up and that's what i i don't think i would have been as cool as the person that was

sat watching the episode um but my initial thought was that ain't a real boulder i'm sure i could just uh we'll uh push that and actually i had the same thought which was pushing it to a taxi and getting someone to just fuck off with it that was what i that's what i thought would just probably be the best choice i think that's i think that's the sort of that's the clearest choice isn't it like that's what most most of them seem to go for uh was well look roshin had the clarity of thought to do that straight away. She was like, yeah, we're going to get a cab firm, we're going to sort it out. But then to

Canberra Sands, which we've got to talk about, I don't know why suddenly she was like, I'm getting this boulder to Canberra Sands, as if that was the furthest away place she could think of in the moment. Why Canberra Sands? Like, what is that special connection that she has with Canberra Sands? Like, I haven't heard about Canberra Sands since my parents were in the caravan club.

I didn't think it was a real place. Canberra Sands is a beautiful place. I mean, it's got on specific days of the year, not all the days of the year. You can get a bit of a crystal blue water vibe going on, but it's not all the time. But yeah, I mean, I literally hadn't heard the words camber sands until she said it there so that was that was surprising it's nice when people do that though i think it's lovely when you get a little sort of retro vibe um to the day's proceedings yeah and you get and you get a little insight into what's at the forefront of their mind because i think maybe

she said she'd been looking at going on holiday to camber sands or looking up camber sands on the internet so it was just clearly parked there in front of at the front of her brain and whatever task had popped up she would have involved camber sands somehow yeah that's exactly what she would have done and i love i loved roshin's attempt in this this is so funny she's called the cab firm then said she'd call them back and then called them back again and all the while the time's ticking down and in the said she'd call them back and then called them back again. And all the while, the time's ticking down. And in the end, she just had to panic and walk with the boulder herself and gets it 300 yards. It is absolutely incredible. She just like a couple of phone calls.

She was like me when I used to work in a windows and doors place when I was 18 and realised it was really dodgy because they were doing drugs upstairs. realize it was really dodgy because they were doing drugs upstairs and I remember just like not wanting to call old ladies up and just like really half-assed which I'd pick the phone up and go hi would you like some windows no you've got windows okay bye and then getting in trouble with my with my bosses that I hadn't pushed myself it felt very much like she was at a temp job she didn't want to be at yes yeah totally how Jade how many jobs have you had because I swear every single time we have a conversation which you know we've we've chatted a lot you seem to have about four other stories about jobs you had did you have them all for a day no i've had some that have lasted a long time

i had a few like my working at the uh the kiosk in islington and where i used to serve janice ian from mean girls uh the actress who played Janice Ian. I worked there for three years, so that was quite a long job. But I've had lots of little bitty jobs that I have just gone and got, said yes, did the job, realised that I don't really want to be serving people food on trays wearing a dickie bow and a waistcoat

at the top of a disused shopping centre. Yeah, that's another new one. Hadn't heard that one before. I've had lots and lots of jobs basically basically i've never really looked into getting a job and got a job so like you know we like oh i need to get a job and then you go on to like you know a job center i've never got a job that way all of the jobs that i've got have been from people saying to me do you want to do this job like yeah being a door woman in the valleys when i was 19 and was on like 25 pounds an hour more than they don't do that anymore but i didn't even have to have a cia license for it they just sort of cia c yeah cia is it i don't there's not many apart from work apart from working for the cia you don't

really need a cia license for anything badge, that's what it's called. SIA. Security Industry Authority badge. I didn't even need one. And when I needed to get one, I just sort of left. So Ramesh went the right way with it, booked a van, but he sends the van in the wrong direction.

I think this cast of Taskmaster are very like this. I don't think there's anyone that streaks ahead as the most competitive or the most competent. But I think what characterises them is quite a lot of the time they have good ideas but manage to screw them up at the last minute. And I think this is classic. He books the van.

He's so proud that Mo arrives in the van. He puts it in the van. He says, Mo, go down that way as far as you can, not realising he's basically sending Mo back to the house. arrives in the van he puts it in the van he says mo go down that way as far as you can not realizing he's basically sending mo back to the house not only is he sending him back to the house but he like romish did loads of walking before he got to mo so mo actually drove back over all of the all of the steps that he'd already taken so it was just i mean it was just one of those classic taskmaster moments um and also rum is completely blaming mo for all of the problems uh that he's had rather than giving

him a clear instruction like looking at a map take it over there romish was like it's all mo's fault you could have been clearer yeah essentially what happened was is romish went for a long walk for no reason for absolutely no reason um josh again straight look straight down the line absolutely smashes it out of the park uh he got a cab for it uh and they took it to windsor all the all the way to windsor i don't know i don't know whether it's because he approaches stuff so he's so he's so happy and so joyful whereas i think some people especially roshan lets the will sometimes just let the anxiety of the task take over her whereas josh was like oh what have i got to do now he just you know like a real carefree attitude to it which is why i think

he smashed it he plays it he plays it with the widdicombe straight bat which uh sometimes doesn't work but it definitely did uh on this occasion a classic tim key response to the task in some tasks he doesn't do the cleverest thing or the best thing he goes all in for the most impressive thing so he tries to lift the boulder with helium balloons which is obviously never going to work he knew it was never going to work, but he thought, imagine if it does work. 12 helium balloons. I don't know if the film Up was out by this point, but look how many helium balloons it took to lift a house. Just scale it down for that, Tim.

12 helium balloons. Helium can't lift boulders or, as Moan found out, eggs. So it was never going to work. And of course, he just had to give up. He just had to give up and then just do it the normal way. And Frank, I think this is the most beautiful way of doing it. He just got on a train. It was quite romantic. It was so romantic.

It was such a lovely... I don't know whether this is how they edited it, but it was such a calm decision for Frank. Yeah, I think that's why I liked it. Very, very calm. Very relaxed. It's like he was taking the boulder on a Yeah, I think that's why I liked it. Very, very calm, very relaxed. It's like he was taking the boulder on a day out and that's what we wanted. Why have you got a courier in 50 minutes?

He showed up to pick up a boulder in 50 minutes. It's an incredible turnaround. You never get some crazy shit and want me to go to Canberra Sands. Task two. I mean, this makes me feel disgusted reading this out jade grow the longest nail you have 10 weeks your time starts now i think this is the most disgusting task in taskmaster history disgusting yes to some people but for those of us who are able to grow such long toenails like

mine um i'm often told that i could scale a building with mine who who's telling you that jade is that are you saying one person one person tells you that a lot or did everyone who meets you goes don't you can scale a building with that um when i get socks my toenail will go through them uh my my my two toenails will go through them immediately. The amount of designer men's socks that I have ruined because of my cloven hooves. Talons. You've got talons, Jade. I've got talons for sure. So you don't mind that?

Or maybe you should trim them or sand them down or something? Well, no, because now I've watched Taskmaster and it might be a clue. They might, you know, well, they've already done it so they probably won't do it again. That's always the annoying thing of these tasks is when you see a task. You can get anything you need with Uber Eats.

Well, almost, almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs and mozzarella balls, yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now. Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth. Or we can demand more from ourselves. voices we can demand more from the earth or we can demand more from ourselves at york university we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow join us at yorku.ca slash write

the future on the program especially now because i'm going back over it you see a task on the program you're like damn it i'd have done so well at that one and the toenail one is that one for me but what i would say jade is please don't grow your toenails on a the off chance that you get on task taskmaster and b that they do that task again because that is i feel like it might be a waste of time the toenail was definitely the way to go because frank did the fingernail which was genuinely impressive but i feel like in your day-to-day life you've got to do the toenail it's easier to protect it's not out in public he's got a young kid as well i imagine i imagine it's quite dangerous to have like old like you know like old nails that are because as you get older your um your nail gets harder as

well so i imagine that was quite a dangerous thing in his household for the time that he was growing it was it a 10 week was it 10 weeks 10 weeks you had yeah wow i know this guy called um dyla they call him dyla because he used to be a plumber so he's called dyla plumber and um he uh and he's wicked he uh he he loves all that because i um as i've spoken about on many podcasts i know a lot of drag queens from my days of being in the cat like in that sort of scene and dial is like a massive fan of all the drag because he's like he used to be an old punk from the 17s and he believes that um east london drag is like what the new punk is and he but he does like really weird things like he has like bags and bags and bags of his toenails and his fingernails and he grows them really long like he had he wears like sandals and he had toenails like i fingernails and he grows them really long like he had he wears

like sandals and he had toenails like i'd say about two inches long on his feet and then when they break off he keeps them in bags but we were like and he i don't know i asked him once why'd you do it and he was like i just think it's weird and i like to do weird stuff really showed up how much of a prude i was i'll be honest that's not i don't think you're a prude for finding a man keeping a bag full of toenails disgusting i mean he's a murderer jay that's what's happened they're not all his toenails i did ask him if he was a murderer and he said no but i was well there you go you've used the old trick haven't you the old trick to catch out the murderers and he's clearly not one frank went with the fingernail uh 2.1

centimeters very very impressive uh always long fingernails always remind me of the uh now departed racing commentator john mccrurick who uh on celebrity big brother had one massive fingernail which he grew to pick his nose oh i mean i really want to be disgusted but there's something i find very satisfying about picking an astral sure but you wouldn't grow your nail and then tell everyone that's why you did it right some people grow nails to like do drugs so they do which i find don't do drugs i find actually more disgusting even though me too ed in private i do pick my nose josh wow 2.8 centimeters the toenail it was gnarled it looks hard it was absolutely disgusting absolutely awful it looks satisfying josh always has had like a hobbity

vibe to me but when i saw that when i saw that toenail he really looks like a little hobbit who runs around with bare feet doesn't he oh he does i mean that really really did add to it but i just like he would have had to have peeled that toenail off after that that would have been absolutely legendary i would have loved to have been there also i don't know if it was the same foot that he had the tattoo on when he had greg's name tattooed would he have had to take his sock off and show a tattoo artist this horrible gnarled nail i'll be honest that tattoo artist would have seen worse things than josh widdicombe's toe now um right now i roshan didn't do well here again but i respect her way more for this because she grew it a bit and then bit quite a lot of it

off uh she was a full one centimeter shorter than josh's. But you know what? I bite my nails and I don't know who could grow like a nail over a centimetre and not immediately bite it off out of anxiety. I am, I am very, you know, I bite them all off. I don't do it too far down. Oh, I saw a video yesterday of someone without any nails that grew and they just had the nail beds

and they were touching it. It was gross. Oh my God. But horrific. But yeah, no, I wouldn't would find um uh doing it on my hands quite difficult because i do bite them out of nervousness yeah i think i i just i think this one if you lost it you still won really i think the winner is the loser in this one romesh's will haunt me until i die like it started curling over like the lads in guinness book of records uh he painted it for some reason which just made it look worse like trying to dye the

hair of a corpse it was horrible he painted that toenail and i know this as a person who paints their toenails when she can be bothered he painted that toenail and then he put a sock on immediately after that was classic sock over nail varnish that was oh what was he thinking a rare cop-out from tim key a man who normally throws himself into everything with absolute abandon he didn't do it he didn't do the task because he claims it's because of a part he was playing in a uh in a theatrical production but the character doesn't bite his toenails you could have done you could have done the toenails he said the character bites his nails and he brought in a little note right but the character does not bite his toenails he could have done the toenails i was upset that tim key did not

engage in this he uh he he I bet you he grew his nail and then it broke. That's what I add. I think he seemed annoyed, you know? Yeah. Like when he handed that over

and he looked straight at Greg. This is that sociopath thing I said. He looked straight at Greg and he handed it to him and there was no ounce of irony on his face whatsoever. And it was almost like

if Greg didn't believe him for his issue, he was going to lose his shit. I felt, it felt like he had grown a nail and it had broken off. Yeah. Well, maybe. I guess he has quite weak nails, probably.

He doesn't seem like a man who gets all his calcium. No, that's true, actually. He does look like he has a weaker constitution than the rest of them. Yeah, and the thing is, he's already been on the podcast. He can't come on and deny that. So we just say that. that's now part of taskmaster law that Tim Key doesn't drink milk

genuinely excellent news to me because I have strangely long big toes task three make this bed to a hotel standard whilst holding hands your time ends when you get in the bed your time starts when you get in the bed your time starts when

you hold hands obviously a team task now jade if you were in this series who would you have wanted to have been on a team with for this task well i'll be honest with you i thought they all failed at this task because the task was to a hospital to a hotel. There wasn't one hospital corner on that bed in either of them. Yeah, it was. I mean, I don't know what hotels they're used to though, Jade. They really, but I think you're right. You need to, a hotel standard, I imagine, those sheets that are so tight that you have to sort of,

you have to wriggle to get into them. Yeah. Do you think this is one you could have done done i would have been really good at project managing this with other people as well because i get really caught like so when it's myself so for example the boulder one would like you would have worried me and i would have panicked immediately but i'd have seen a team there i'd have seen someone else to organize and i would have project managed the whole thing and it i think i would have smashed this one especially because i can like i mean my boyfriend might laugh at this next sentence

because i don't but i can make a mean bed okay but shut up go away you don't i'm busy trying to get on taskmaster I'm busy trying to get on Taskmaster I don't have time for Hospital Corners but I can do it very well I mean the team tasks are tricky depending on who you end up with I'd say

is there any comedian, not necessarily from Taskmaster history, but any comedian or two comedians that you would want to be on a team for with Taskmaster Tindu V oh that is a great shout I mean that is also I can't imagine you two on a team

would you argue because if you argued I feel like it might be the end of Taskmaster after a genuine murder because you are two of the most you genuine murder because you are you're two of the most yeah like you have opinions and you are ready to give them in the most forceful way and that's a compliment jade i love both of you but things would kick off well i don't actually when i'm in charge of stuff i have no i have no megalomaniacal fantasies when i'm in charge it's just because i want to get to point

from point a to point b in the quickest and most efficient time possible yeah and i think sindhu's got that same vibe like i don't i don't take charge because i need to be in charge because it validates something inside of me i take charge because i can get stuff done really quickly and i'm and i'm and i've been managers in various restaurants and pubs and all sorts of stuff i've been i've been that person 8 000 jobs i've had loads of jobs where i've been ins and all sorts of stuff. I've been that person. Of course, you've had 8,000 jobs. I've had loads of jobs where I've been in charge and not all of them have lasted. However, with Sindhu,

I don't think that there would be any arguments. I just think you would have two women who were just trying to get from point A to point B. She's a mum as well in the fastest time possible. I don't think we would argue. And also, I think we're both yes people as well like cindy's the type of person that look i think you might be i i've worked with cindy a lot if she doesn't think something's right she will not only tell you it's not right she will also tell you you're a complete idiot before doing her own thing well i mean it would be great telly

yes it would no absolutely i'd love to i'd love to see both of you on it i mean it would be great telly yes it would no absolutely i'd love to i'd love to see both of you on it i think that would be absolutely awesome and i think you'd probably do it quicker uh than frank uh than frank and tim to be honest yeah i mean i mean if women are good at anything it's making beds hey ed finally fine let's get look fine i'll put more women on TV, but let's get them doing what they're good at. It was, look, it was a good team task. Josh, Romesh and Roisin seemed to have more fun with it, but that did cost them. They did it in 16 minutes and three seconds.

Frank and Tim, 10 minutes, 57 seconds, even though they screwed themselves over massively by holding each other's dominant hands straight away and then not being able to change over their hands. I did think this is one of the rare occasions where I think the team of three were at a disadvantage because the person in the middle is just dead weight, really. They're not doing anything. Well, with what I suggested,

which was being the person in charge of it, I would have been really good in a middle position because I would have just orchestrated it and then just got the other two hands to do the charge of it I would have been really good in a middle position because I would have just orchestrated it and then just got the other two hands to do the rest to do the rest of it so actually if it had been me in that middle it would have been a lot more organised I suppose they could take a role

it's not like being in the middle of a human centipede for example where that person is not helping at all I've spent five years trying to get that movie out of my brain and now it's back in I mean when it comes to taskmaster season 25 i think it might get to uh form a human centipede with your with your teammates shit in the mouth of another comic you only you only have what's in the shed your time starts now task four it is the first appearance of fred the swedish man uh who taskmaster fans

will know pops up in later series as well and the task is simply make this swedish man blush jade i'm going to ask you straight away how would you have made the swedish person blush blush as deeply as possible you have 10 minutes your time starts now you going to do? I'd sit there for 9 minutes and 45 seconds. And in the last 15 seconds, I would stand up and I would get my tits out. I just knew that was coming, Jade. It was the look of steely determination on your face. You just decided immediately what you were going to do.

But the genius twist on that is leaving it for 9 minutes and 45 seconds so there's tension in the air already brilliant why didn't roshin get her tits out i know why i know why yeah you know why of course i know why but this is the thing that roshin is is a beautiful she's actually if roshan had been fiercely competitive as well as well it had been too much so actually in terms of a great series she was perfect for it but this is this is one of the times where she just wasn't competitive enough and like i just immediately was like this guy wants to see my tits that's what he wants that's what he wants right now is to see my boobs the thing is is roshan wasn't competitive enough but she did everything in her normal pace of just like throwing ideas out there as they occurred to her

but she won she won this task she won this task because she was the only one to think outside the box everyone else was trying to make him emotionally blush and she'd realized if she just asked him to put his head between his knees then you would get that color anyway but what i loved about it was she started off by saying would you like to see someone with three breasts uh and having a breast on the back and all of that thing didn't she like she gave him the plot of the film total recall as the first basically the total recall three three-breasted woman but then she realized she could make him put his head between his knees and that would do it but while he was doing that she was still asking him

about the three-breasted woman she didn't stop with that narrative she thought i'll throw that sprinkle that on top as well maybe that'll make it better no i thought that was a that was a genius a genius move from roshan i thought that was great it was also one of those tasks that the taskmaster wasn't able to because they did it all on how blushed the person was as well. It just, it felt like this was like not something that the taskmaster could have like decided that he didn't think was good. Like it was literally like Roisin made him redder. There you go, that's what.

They didn't say make the Swedish guy embarrassed. They said make the Swedish guy blush. And we were the word blush and we were like sex. So Roshan not getting her tits out is actually feminism and I'm super old-fashioned yeah I think I think you're very old-fashioned a real prude Jade um the thing is I think you even though he judged it on the shade of the shade of the Swede I think you sort of do have to look at how inventive they were with making him blush so russian should have won on all counts there uh frank pops his stomach out and you've got to admire frank's youthful youthful stomach what what was going on there what a bod it was like a little

two-year-old's tummy it really was you know when they're running around the garden with that yeah when they're running around the garden they ain't got their pants on what a lovely compliment and he um what was really great i loved about frank's efforts was the flirting like he was talking about the vein on his penis and you know like got his stomach out in fact frank's frank's efforts were quite close to what i would probably do it was all like quite sensual and he was up against him there just talking to him. I was really impressed with Frank's efforts, to be honest.

That was sort of an early ASMR attempt, wasn't it? Yeah. I mean, who knew that ASMR was going to be so successful? Frank Skinner did. Yeah.

I was very surprised at Josh in this because I had watched a lot before this episode. I'd watched a lot of josh obviously doing really well and just like smashing the tasks yeah and then it was just super interesting to just see quite how uncomfortable josh was with this task um he's such a repressed little hobbit man it's he's such an odd little fella that not being able to talk about anything sexual really and to use the phrase who'd be your dream celebrity to bed how old is he that he said to bed he couldn't say

to sleep with he couldn't say to have sex with you go to bed who's your dream celebrity to bed claudia winkelman immediately establishing the fact that he fancies claudia winkelman he uh yeah he let that slip um there was what have i written here uncomfortable alex horn naked uh communal shower and he definitely fancies claudia winkelman um it was interesting about that that task was the one where we saw a little bit more of josh's insides whereas he'd been like sort of quite happy-go-lucky guy before and there then we were like oh this is the first time we've seen him um get really uncomfortable yeah and then it made me think how is he married with children no i'm look i'm sure at home you know when you know when

there's not cameras there josh is you know a wild and romantic sexual man it's just you know when confronted by a strange swedish man he couldn't bring himself uh to go full-on um which you know a wild and romantic sexual man it's just you know when confronted by a strange swedish man he couldn't bring himself uh to go full on um which you know is more than we can say for frank or romesh who just tried to make him blush by coming on to him basically i really liked him trying to get the swedish bloke to say swedish stuff i thought that was quite clever great instead because he was he was that there was thought there that perhaps this guy doesn't have the same effect on the English language as he does with his first language, which is Swedish. So I thought that was really clever. Yeah. And then I've just written I would have flashed him. And then just really, really just very quickly.

I have written here that Romesh Ranganathan flirted with the Swedish guy like an aggressive middle-aged divorcee at a Christmas party in a Lloyd's bar. That's just Romesh's vibe though, isn't it? Another idea is you could, I mean, you could have gotten... So do you have mobile phones on you for the tasks? Can you use your mobile for some stuff?

I used my mobile phone once or twice, I think. I think it's, if it's entertaining, but I think it's probably bad form to use it all of the time right i'd have just got an audible and i would have got the 50 shades of grey book up because i know where all the specific points are of that book it's like intense and i would just sat there and just read it to him maybe with a sexy tune in the background or something it would have been i mean with a candle or like and i think that this one was the one that the acting was important in this one like um one the comedian who acted the best yeah um

uh i you know for the flirting but obviously in the end logic won i think you're right i think logic often wins on taskmaster but uh it was surprising that it won here in such an emotional and sexual task. Beautiful. I'd have made that Swedish man blush immediately. I know you would have done, Jade. I think you had the best technique, definitely. Five points for Roisin, four points for Romesh, three points for Frank,

two points for Tim, and a very well-deserved one point for the repressed little prudish Hobbit man, Josh Whittombe is there a reason you're not making eye contact with me not really no i couldn't make it now we're getting on the whole way we're really getting on i have a surprisingly bulbous vein on my private parts but it almost exactly resembles the point where the A40 joins the A315. We come to the studio task.

Another balloons task, one of the recurring motifs in Taskmaster, along with eggs, et cetera, is balloons. The task was blow up the biggest balloon whilst blindfolded. You have 100 seconds and one balloon and you said that meant obviously if it pops jade you can't go too far because then you you don't you don't get another balloon this was quite tense i thought i the i mean obviously josh being asthmatic and having to blow a balloon up is quite funny and also being scared of balloons he's such a weird man scared of balloons and flirting um we're really painting a picture of josh's uh

of josh's personality he used the thing was is he used asthma as an excuse and the problem is is that i have asthma and i've had at least three balloon arches over lockdown in the house because we've had three people's birthdays here and i'm telling you what as an asthmatic in fact i blow them up faster than other people so i think that that was a massive excuse that yeah wasn't true um at all uh obviously roshi so this is the most is my question when i saw the lineup roshin's balloon didn't look the biggest um the uh well you know i think we've got a we've got to trust we've got to trust the taskmaster on this that roshan had the had the biggest balloon uh tim didn't even tie the balloon josh's was pathetic um you know i think i think roshan sort of tried on that one i think sometimes you've you've

got to give roshan the points if she's made an effort right yeah for sure definitely she made an effort frank looked really annoyed like genuinely annoyed on this one at the end of it i don't know whether that was the editing but if you if you go back and look at this watch frank he looks real pissed we all have moments during taskmaster i think where there's days where you get caught off guard and you're like i'm genuinely annoyed about this i'm too invested in in who wins i had that day every day uh so it's uh it's a frank victory this episode like we say you got 20 points uh josh another solid second place uh with 18 points romesh with 16 uh roshan with 14 points and a disappointing and crushing low for tim uh with 10 points that he lost the

episode and roshan brought in a £12 diamond ring for a prize task. That is seriously disappointing. I'm absolutely terrified of blowing up balloons. You idiot. So it's time to... Can I say, we are tightly locked in the lead and he's asthmatic and he's frightened of balloons.

Feeling good. So it's all to play for in the series because Josh is on 85 points in the lead. Then Romesh is on 79. Frank's on 77. 70 for Tim Key. Roshin lagging behind on 60. But it really is all to play for.

That's what I mean. I think this first series, I think because nobody knew what it was, you didn't really know how to play the game to win. There's just sort of no, it's all a bit, it's a fun mess in that everyone's just doing what they can and there's clearly no leader at this point. There are really truly being quite,

like obviously other people when they've gone on the other series have watched the previous series. So there's like a bit of, you sort of, you try and not do it, I imagine, but there's a gameplay that you're like, I'm or i'm gonna be like that whereas these five people were you know offered a gig and they went can you come and do this and then they just sit there completely wide-eyed which is why i really like this series because yeah everyone is like what like basically roshan is like what the fuck is this show

now jade uh you are no stranger to podcasts we've done podcasts together before uh you know i've done a podcast with you about musicals uh you've been on my podcast about food but i'm right in saying you have a new podcast out don't you i do yeah called laughable with garrett millerick and red richardson both great comics tell me more what is the podcast about anything or is it just three very funny people shooting the shit well we are three very funny people but we're actually fret we're actually uh thanks very much ed but we're actually really good mates so they're like two really close comedy mates that i have and um we have a podcast which is devoted to the types of news articles that you don't normally hear so So we have a blanket ban on Trump, Brexit, coronavirus or anything like that.

And it's all the sort of obscure stories that fall down the back of the sofa. For example, we all have our own area of expertise as well. So that's why we all get on so well is that we're very different people. For example, obviously, my news stories would all be about show business um because i love i i love all of that um and also it's the only thing i can bear to have on my algorithms as well um and then our red is really into the tabloid so it's all of the mirror the sun the daily sport he gets all the great um headlines there like for example there was um man was bummed to death in safari park uh after wearing a newcastle united football shirt by

zebra great yeah all the all the made-up shit the the the best one uh that sticks in my memory from the sunday sport and this was front page news on the sunday sport it must have been 25 years ago uh was a plumber strangled to death by own 12 inch nose hair so that that sort of thing right oh my god that is excellent the sunday sport is a is a joyous comedy paper well and to balance that out we obviously need to have something from the broadsheets and garrett millerick as the only person with a private education and a subscription to the times he's got the guy that's going to be bringing all the stories from like the times the guardian and all of that as well amazing so is the first episode is the first episode out now can people get it now uh funny enough as we speak the first episode is up great go get it that's laughable

jade adams garrett millerick and red richardson jade thank you for coming on the taskmaster podcast we always ask our guests to rate their experience on the podcast from one to five points i want you to be honest. Don't feel like you have to say five points to spare my feelings at all, but equally don't say one just to annoy me. How have you enjoyed the Taskmaster podcast between one and five points? Please, Jade Adams.

You've asked me loads of questions. I haven't not known an answer to a question. I was very terrified about coming on here because I know that your fans are really intense and that if you fuck up, they'll say something about it. Like the time that I went on the Eurovision Calling podcast and I knew fuck all about Eurovision

until 17 weeks later when I knew everything. I would say, Ed, as far as podcasts go, I'd give you a five, mate, because I've not at one moment felt out of my depth and I really thought I would. Look, I don't make people feel out of their depth because I have no depth. So it's very difficult to feel out your depth in this paddling pool of a mind uh Jade thank you so much for coming on the Taskmaster podcast thanks Ed cheers Jade bye

well there we are what a wonderful episode uh I love it when people come on who've not been on the show and then we can just talk freely about it. We don't need to worry about upsetting anyone that we worked with. We can just lay into Romesh as much as we'd like. I thought Jade was an absolutely wonderful guest. Hopefully we can have her on again at some point. Remember, check out Home Tasking. They go up on noon on Thursdays.

Check Alex's Twitter. Check the Taskmaster's Twitter. Check youtube.com Check the Taskmaster's Twitter. Check youtube.com forward slash Taskmaster. Check out the Taskmaster store online as well. There's lots going on. And mainly, keep checking out this podcast. We will be back next week with the final episode of Series

1. Watch that, then come and listen to the podcast. I'll be chatting to a special guest who I will announce later in the week. Send us emails. Taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com. Send us questions about that final episode and we will do our best to answer them. But for now, I hope you all have a nice week. Just a week.

I hope you all have a week. Thank you very much. Goodbye. Are you more or less frightened of balloons than physical contact with another man? Oh, I'd prefer contact with another man, too. Hold on, do we have a choice now? You didn't say that before.

And do we have to tie the end? I'm not physically... LAUGHTER We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth.

Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.