Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 19. Joe Wilkinson - S2 Ep.1

Episode Date: February 18, 2021

It's time to revisit Series 2 and who better to join Ed and kick things off but none other than potato throwing, non Swedish speaking, comedian and actor Joe Wilkinson! Ed gets to the bottom of 'that throw', they discuss why Joe would do it all the same again and there's also some non Taskmaster stories thrown in for good measure! Enjoy.  If you would like to watch along as Ed and his guests revisit the early series of Taskmaster then go to https://www.channel4.com/programmes/taskmaster/episode-guide where you will find all episodes. Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com  Sales, advertising and general enquiries:[e-mail] the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's winter, and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those. Moose? No. But moose head? Yes. Because that's alcohol, and we deliver that too.

Along with your favorite restaurant food, groceries, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. It is a new dawn in the world of the Taskmaster podcast because we are starting to chat about Series 2 of Taskmaster. I'm your host, Ed Gamble. I hope you joined us for the ride through Series 1. If you don't or didn't, if you don't joined us uh don't worry you

can go back and you can listen to all of those episodes and maybe watch the attached taskmaster episodes uh with those as well a lot of people are doing that it's really heartened me to see that a lot of people are watching along uh with me uh and then listening to the podcast it really makes me feel like we're all in this together which is what we need at the moment but we're starting on series two today very exciting no longer filmed in the Clapham Grand just made to look like the Clapham

Grand and apart from that you know it's still Greg is still the Taskmaster Alex Horne still the Taskmaster's assistant but new contestants crucially very exciting we've got Doc Brown we've got Joe Wilkinson, we've got John Richardson, we've got Catherine Ryan, we've got Richard Osman. It is an absolutely amazing line-up.

And today, our special guest to talk about Series 2, Episode 1, is Joe Wilkinson. He is the only person we could get to talk about this episode. Absolutely the only choice uh which if you know the episode you'll know why there is an infamous moment in this episode which is really i mean it goes into the taskmaster hall of fame i think a lot of people would say this is the thing that really got them hooked into the show you can't really talk about taskmaster without talking about this moment what is it if you don't know go and watch the show you can't really talk about Taskmaster without talking about this moment what is it if you don't know go and watch the episode you'll absolutely realize we'll be talking

about that with Joe of course as well as the rest of the episode Taskmaster in general and you know what it's Joe Wilkinson we'll probably get off track I don't know how up for uh deconstructing the episode he's gonna be he might just be up for a dumb chat, which I'm also open to. Obviously, check out Taskmaster YouTube, youtube.com forward slash Taskmaster, for all your extra bits. Still some brilliant compilations coming out on there. The most romantic Taskmaster moments

was uploaded recently as well. It is a very, very good compilation. So go and check that out. Check out the Taskmaster store if you're feeling flush and you want to buy a little TM-based gift. But for now, why not go and watch the episode if you haven't already and then come back and listen to my chat with Joe Wilkinson. Here he is.

Welcome, Joe Wilkinson. Here we go, straight away. What's the problem? I just haven't replied to my WhatsApp. Just before we started recording, Joe let me know that he's really been getting into WhatsApp. About 10 groups on the go. Yeah, I'm pretty sure by the end of the year it's going to be up to God knows how many. Do you not find it annoying though, the constant messages?

Because I think I'm in quite a few WhatsApp groups and I think I've muted all of them for a year. No, I've not muted anything. I absolutely love it. I love the connection without having to have any connection. Yeah. Are you in any Taskmaster-based WhatsApp groups, Joe? No, but I did ask you and Daisy

if you fancy starting one, and then you changed the subject. Well, I didn't think you meant it, to be honest. No, I do. Well, we'll hop on a WhatsApp straight after this, then. We can talk about what went well in the episode, what went badly. Yeah, smashing.

Thanks, mate. Look, thanks so much for coming on and doing this, Joee we had to have you on for this episode because this is series two episode one which of course uh of course you were in uh it's an infamous episode in all of them you're in all of them yeah you're in all of them but this is this is the one where you're really in um yes yeah i've got in early that day you got in early that day uh we'll come to that. Yeah, we'll see their record. It was quite an entrance to the episode. And, I mean, what are your memories of Taskmaster, Joe? Did you have a nice time doing that?

It was years ago. What year was it? I guess 2016, maybe? 2016, so that's God knows how many years ago that is. Five. Well, memories are fond are fond yes very fond uh i remember little little behind the curtains here for you ed please is uh they they recorded over three days in the studio i remember that so it wasn't recorded one a week. They actually recorded a bunch of them at the same time. Yeah.

I remember everyone else doing a costume change after each episode. So it looked like they were wearing. So it looked like it was a different day and I didn't do that. I just said, I've only got anything else to wear. Was it one outfit or did you have lots of different versions of the same outfit? No, I've had the same suit for about 20 years. Is that still your stand-up

outfit? Yeah. The same one? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've had it. Originally, I bought it for a wedding and not as a joke or anything. And then I got a little piss take for it.

So you thought there's something in this? Yeah. And then I realised that, yeah, you just bung that in a bag, don't you? I'm glad you got fond memories of it Joe, did you find it an exciting experience, did you enjoy it? Because my memories of you, gigging with you on the circuit were that you'd either

try and get out of gigs about an hour before or on the way to the gig you'd constantly be trying to come up with a way of getting out of it, even like we were on the M1 on the way to Bradford you'd'd be going, oh, fucking hell, how are we going to knock them to do this? Well, if I remember Bradford,

if I remember the gig rightly, I said to the guy promoting it, I said, it's only 35 in, mate. I wouldn't bother if I were you. You can genuinely get students to pull gigs quite easily and I was like mate 35 they're not going to enjoy it

it's a capacity of 52 at 35 really going to enjoy it it is amazing I used to do stuff like that as well where you spend ages getting to the point where you get books for university gigs and doing something that you love and then you get there and you're like,

how are we going to make this not happen? I remember getting, I think one of the best texts I've ever received, Joe, from you, it was at like maybe four o'clock on a Friday afternoon and it was a group text, clearly, saying, I don't know where this is going.

Can anyone get to Liverpool by tonight? I've just shat myself on the train. Do you remember that? Yeah, I used to copy and paste that every... and it's a great lineup this is obviously the first episode we're talking about on the task master podcast so i feel like we should we should go through the lineup with your with your opinions on each of them and how they were to work with uh i work with as a person or in in the show in the show really i think within the context of the show but feel free to chuck around any insults if you uh okay so wish uh so we've we've got we've got dot brown up first

um dot brown who sat to my right yes um can't be trusted i found out we'll get to that. He absolutely sticks the knife in straight away, episode one. Yeah. Plays the nice guy. But it's all right to swear because I'm going to. Do it. The fucking world didn't. Yeah, no.

Liked. We were close. yeah no liked we were close we did have a lot of questions regarding your current friendship status with Doc Brown and John Richardson I mean let's talk John Richardson obviously knew him

going in friends with him going in yeah yeah very close yeah shared lots of lifts over the years and yeah very close yeah shared shared lots of lifts over the years and another person who stuck the knife in didn't he yeah

another one who played to win were you not playing to win? no I fucking well was just have no there's big chunks in my brain it turns out, that don't get into gear quick enough.

That's what I discovered. When did you... So you say you were playing to win. Was there a moment where you thought, when you were filming the show, you thought, I'm not going to win. I'll just have to give up. Or were you always playing to win right until the end?

No, because they do that thing where there's something you can win each week. So you go, I want mine some skis. Or whatever. So you're always being lured back in because I don't know if you remember, but

I didn't start well and then to get to the point of winning the whole thing was quite a journey to go from sort of the first episode not doing very well and then by the fifth or sixth

I'd won the whole thing. Yeah, when you won the whole thing. Yeah, of course. Yeah, it was quite a journey but as I say I got better and better each week. That's a spoiler warning for anyone who's watching

along with us and has never seen the show before but is listening to the podcast for their first viewing Joe does win the whole thing. So I'm sorry. I've really come out of my skin through the three days. It's recorded in three days.

That's the thing. Because it's only five episodes, this series, I think it's the lowest amount of episodes. Is it? It's only five episodes. What? Is it? That's shit, isn't it?

Well, I did 10 episodes. What? Why? Because I did series nine. It was 10 episodes what why because I did series 9 it was 10 episodes you wanker Catherine Ryan why didn't I hold out for the later series yeah you should have done you jumped in at the 5 episode series

because you smelled it was going to be a success. Yeah. Catherine, I thought would be dog shit at it. I thought she'd be proper shit. Why do you think she'd be shit? I didn't think she'd give a shit. I thought she'd just be like phoning it in. But she was pretty good, actually good actually well she was really good

yeah yeah she came second after me didn't she yeah she did she did very well yeah but i always felt like she sort of sneaked in like she didn't she was a bit like kind of you know you go oh she picked up a lot of second point you know like, like second best, not a lot of big points. She just sort of steady-headed her way to a win. She's very consistent. It's quite a turd way to win, isn't it? We've not had many people come on the Taskmaster podcast and call out other competitors like that.

Oh, have you not? Oh, okay. What am I meant to be saying? No, no, no. This is perfect. Is this a sort of warm and friendly podcast? Not at all. No, it's all based on the guest.

You bring whatever you want. You bring that sort of gypsy bare-knuckle fighting call-out video attitude with you. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah. So I thought she'd be turd and she was all right. And... Osman. Yeah, and Osman...

See, old big brains I was worried about. Yeah. Old big brains written a book, you know, whatever. I thought... Yeah, and he was better than me, but not by loads i got he's got tons of gcses and i was like he's gonna do you know he's gonna outsmart saw and he was he was crap in places wasn't he so he's flawed that's good to know the beauty of the competition is

it's you can't you can't clever your way through the whole thing. There's some things where a logical brain helps, but then sometimes you need that sort of extra flair of creativity or. Yeah, which he doesn't have. Which he doesn't have. Which he doesn't have. Of course he doesn't,

although it shows he's creative. He's got the old logical sort of plodding kind of, you know, getting the basics done. But where's the flair in what he does? Where's the... The Wilkinson flair. Exactly, yeah, yeah.

This first prize task, Joe, first prize task of the whole series, most important document. Now, let's get straight into yours, because I thought this was a massive strong start to the whole series for you. I thought Joe's one to watch. I got the points, didn't I? I got all the points. You got all the points. You brought your marriage certificate. I thought Joe's seen the show

before. He knows what he's doing. He's going to be a real competitor. And yes, I was immediately proved wrong from then on in. But it was a great start. It was great. And I've, you know,

it's been, it's been screwed up and thrown at me so many times. I thought, I won't take that in. I mean, put that on the, on the stage. Were you conscious

that you just needed to go start big? Yeah, I, I genuinely was playing to win. And I had this, I had a whole Lewis Hamilton sort of mindset going, you know, got into pole

and was just going to, you know, spread my wings, make it hard to pass me. And the wheels fell off, didn't it really? Almost immediately. Almost on that first chicane. Doc Brown brought in his first rhyme book from when he was a teenage rapper.

Did he come last? No, he got four points for that. I thought that was quite a good one in that, you know, he was showing that he's been talented for a long time and he was humble, he was saying they were bad but then he did a little

rap from it, he did a little rhyme from it which was, I don't walk down memory lane I move down Attitude Avenue which he was holding up that as an example of a bad lyric but everyone there goes wow and gives him a round of applause.

I don't think it deserves second place, though. That's what I'm going to say, Joe. No, no. I didn't understand Catherine's one. I remember she had a booklet that you can get on a plane or something. Yeah, it was a flight companion voucher. I didn't quite understand it.

It felt like a fancy one, like a bougie fancy one. It gave me an inferiority complex. Did it? Yeah, because I don't know what that is. You obviously live and work in different circles to moi. Me and you on our way to Bradford to 32 people. And she's on a plane

somewhere. And that plane ain't stopping at Bradford, is it? The flight companion voucher, I agree. I didn't necessarily understand that one. I think she got some points though, didn't she?

Everyone got some points. Catherine got three points which seems high. How crap were the other two? Well the other two were both Guinness World Record certificates. John's was for the highest ever

stand-up gig. Smallest man in a plane. And Richard's was for biggest man in a boat. It was naming the most capital cities in I think a minute or so. Didn't he mind game,

like, tried to mind game Greg and slag John's off? Oh yeah, he absolutely did. He got in there early when John was talking about his and trying to sell his, which as you know is quite a vulnerable moment. When you're pitching the prize tasks to Greg, you have that sort of little bit of time

where you have to make it sound like the best thing ever. And it is quite nerve-wracking. And there's sort of an understanding that the others don't get involved or lay into it straight away. Because they cut it out, but I turned to Richard and said, let him speak. They cut it. They cut out quite a lot of your gallantry,

I understand. You were quite sort of, you stuck up for people, the little man, and you were quite brave. And a lot of the times I passed the points over to Catherine and Richard. And they cut that out as well. I have a couple of mine that you're having a rough week.

Cut it out. So Richard and John both got two points for their Guinness World Records. I mean, John's doesn't feel like it. It was just a gig he did, right? Yeah. Yeah, it was just a gig. I didn't remember. I think I should be in a Guinness Book of World Records for the shortest time.

Do you remember the shortest time ever spent in Hastings? Yeah. This is another thing that really sticks in my mind that you did once, Joe. Please tell the listener. I only remember this because you told me. Because I told it back to you. Because you've done things and they're so normal within your life

that you forget them, but I just remember them. Please tell the listener why you should win the Guinness World Record for shortest time spent in Hastings. I do remember. I did a gig in Hastings. And when you do a gig, you usually do a 20-minute set. And I was running late for the gig, and the gig was right by the station.

So I got off, I was meant to be on at half eight, I remember that, and I got off the train at 32 minutes past. I ran straight into the pub, did the gig, went back to the station, got on the train, and it still wasn't even 10 to nine. I looked at my watch on the station, got on the train and it still wasn't even 10 to 9. I looked at my watch on the train and it was like 8.49 and I was like, wow. Joe, what have you brought in?

What's important about your document? It's my wedding certificate. Wow. The thing about this is when I said to my missus I was going on the show I needed an important document I said can I take my wedding certificate and she said no and I brought it anyway. So task one let's get stuck into this. Place three exercise balls on the yoga mat at the top of that hill. The task is complete when all three inflated balls sit stationary on the mat. Fastest wins.

Now, after your big start with the prize task, you didn't follow it up with another victory, I'm sorry to say, Joe. You took the second longest to do this. You just tried to kick them all up the hill. I did, yes. What annoyed me about this task is when you see it back and i just osman really annoyed me because it's that thing that if you're at school with him you go because he re-read it didn't he yes you know you know re-read didn't go rushing in he re-read it he re reread it and had a think and then it paid off but that

is what they teach you to do like in an exam situation isn't it is to take your time reread the question really think about it before before you go charging in i did i did a i did a geography exam when i was uh 14 and it said uh I read it as answer three questions right and there was there was a hundred questions in each section yeah and I was like anyone else the three so it's like there was five sections all with a hundred questions and I read it as answer three questions so I scanned 500 questions to find three and I was like well that's easy and then I

sat back for two and a half hours wondering why everyone else was working their arse off and then with ten minutes to go I re-read it and it said answer three sections and I had a bit of a bit of a mad scramble and i wasn't allowed to take

geography the next year because of uh and you did not learn your lesson joe because you didn't you didn't reread this question you just went charging up the hill trying to boot the balls up there yeah and but to be fair i've got everything in life that I've ever wanted. So there. Do you have any tasks that you remember fondly? Because obviously this task, as soon as I told you what it was, you were like, oh, God. Fondly? No.

Does the whole thing fill you with dread still? No, it was... I went into every task genuinely excited every time. Joking apart, it was really fun to do. It was probably one of the most fun things you can do and get paid for. Yeah. But it was just the disappointment I felt in myself, genuinely after.

So I'd go, okay, right, just, similar to a little pep talk, don't rush in, you know, don't think about it, think naturally, you know, don't just stare at the wall or whatever. And then I'd open the envelope and I'd just go, I don't know what to do. And so I'd just be on my way home going, fucking knickers.

Like, so it was like, it was just sort of, that's the sort of memory I have from it going, I was excited, you know, going, oh, I'm going to be in a boat or something. That'd be fun. And then just like, I don't like what to do with this boat i had to do why is everyone else what's everyone else doing and i got wrapped up in yeah you can't you can't think about what everyone else is doing because that'll that'll borrow it did that's all i did so it was really good fun. I've got happy memories of all of it, but it's all twinged with sort of annoyance

at my own sort of inability, really. Well, you all seemed a bit annoyed with Osman in this one because none of the rest of you thought of bringing the yoga mat from the top of the hill to the bottom, which is obviously what he did. He interpreted the yoga mat on the top of that hill to be referring to the yoga mat rather than it had to stay on the top of the hill yeah i do remember thinking as he did that i remember thinking i bet he's never got off with a french exchange student

i remember that i was like not going to happen is it he might have won the task but has he got off with a French exchange student I haven't but how often did you console yourself

with the thought of the French exchange student thing or was it a different was it a different thing every time every time he brainiac'd it I thought he never got off with a French exchange student

the thing is I bet he has I bet he has charming guy every time he brainiac'd it. I thought, well, he never got off of a French exchange, you know that. The thing is, I bet he has. Hey, he probably has. Shit. Charming guy. Charming guy. Really charming guy.

That was the only thing that got me through it. I know what you mean about, see, I like Osman thinking about it laterally because no one else did and everyone else was kicking themselves afterwards but it's not a laugh, is it?

Yeah. Didn't want to say it it's not as fun is it it's not as fun but I think if there's one person there doing that I think that adds to it if everyone was doing it it would be really boring yeah I felt like after that studio recording Osmond

went home with a lot of gob down his back I didn't have of gob down his back. I didn't have any gob down my back. No. Well, that's lucky because you only had one outfit with you. I'd have still worn it for the next show. You know what I mean? He annihilated the rest of you guys because the time wasn't even specified.

It was immediate. He was straight up that hill, straight back down and go with the mat, three balls on there. And then the rest of you were all running up the hill. He did look like a headmaster though, didn't he? Yeah. He looked like he was not in the sports department.

You know, he worked always indoors and maybe did the occasional playground duty but that's it the way he ran up the hill you mean yeah yeah yeah it was flat flat-footed i'd say is well you're a you're a bit you're a bit of a runner aren't you joe you like to run so but you were second slowest still. Was this before you really caught the run? I was still carrying quite a lot of the weight I'd gained when I turned 40.

As soon as I tipped into the 40s, the weight just I couldn't I could not shift it for the first four years. I could not shift the 40s weight, as we called it. And so the timing of it wasn't ideal for me because I was still suffering,

both physically and mentally, with having put that amount of weight on. Do you think that affected the way you approached some of the tasks, the sort of mental language of having put on weight in your 40s? well i didn't feel pretty if that's what you mean i think that is what i mean yeah yeah i i didn't feel pretty so i was very aware of the cameras i was very very aware of the camera how did you lose the lose the weight in the end um i take diet pills that you can't get in this country. Yeah, fair. And, yeah, my body's like a tap.

It's just like a, as it goes through me like a pipe. It's a good tip. I get, yeah, I get some of the nutrients, but very little. Straight through. Yeah, yeah. But I look, apart from sort of looking semi-translucent, I've never felt so well. Oh, shit.

Two minutes, Joe. What? You've had two minutes. Oh, shut up. Task two, Joe. Task two, which had two minutes. Oh, shut up. Task two, Joe. Task two. Which is the one that everyone's really tuned in for, is to hear about task two.

Get this potato in the golf hole. You may not touch the red green. Fastest wins. Joe, I'd imagine this has followed you around for your entire career, right from the moment it happened until this point. What's your memories of this task? Because, look, we can talk about what the others did,

but I think we both know we just want to talk about what happened to you. I'll tell you what my overriding memory of this is. Going into the studio that day going, I know I've won a task and being rather overconfident. And then I was chatting to Greg for the show. And they're looking, this is one of those looking back moments. Yeah. And I said, oh, you know, how's everything looking?

And he went, yeah, yeah, good. And he goes, yeah, this episode's really good. We've got some quite sort of dramatic bit. And someone whacked him and uh i went oh what that was about and didn't give it another thought yeah didn't think one of those got anything to do with me seeing as they they whacked him while he was talking to me about me basically it's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything.

So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those, too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly.

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And I cruised into that recording, which was the afternoon of the, no, it was the morning of the same one as we recorded the second episode of The Afternoon. Yeah, it was the same day, yeah. And same day, same day. And I had that in my back pocket. Like I imagine a magician feels like when he's got a superb trick about to, to,

to wow the cruise ship. Yeah. And, and yeah, I was really, very, very confident and lovely little moment where they, they show John and Doc and then they show Catherine and Richard and you go,

Ooh, this is going to go one of good, one of two ways. It's going to be really good for the final test or really bad, but I know it's really good because I get it in straight away. This is going to be great. And I did feel, as they showed it,

I still felt very confident. Well, it's amazing to watch. I still, having, I've seen it a few times, obviously, watching it back again, it's still really impressive you actually doing it even though i now know you're about to be disqualified just you getting it in the first time it's still it's it's on the verge of sexy joe yeah it's it's it's fucking cool it is cool really because honestly like you don't you

clearly don't expect it to have happened but you're trying to play it cool afterwards that you got the potato straight in. Yeah, but I start giggling. You start giggling. You can see in your eyes it's literally the best moment of your life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I've shot a rhino.

Well, exactly. Exactly. So, you know, I hunt big cats as well. Yeah. So this is big. This is huge. There's a potato in the middle. High adrenaline stuff.

Yeah. Yeah, it was smashing. And even as it went in, I thought, this is going to edit down lovely. Always thinking of the edit, aren't you? You're such a pro. Always thinking of the edit. Always thinking of the edit. I'll give them a nice little out.

Give them a nice little out. For him to dovetail nicely back to the studio where we can all enjoy it together as a Taskmaster fan. In many ways, the way you conducted yourself there, Joe, was like you were doing a gig in Hastings. You were out the dressing room, potatoes straight in the hole,

straight back in the dressing room. There was no hanging around. Exactly. I was back listening to my playlist, having a lovely time. I always save myself a little treat for the train home. So I'd probably had a bag of crisps at that point. And yeah, no, but it all unraveled.

I don't know if you remember this, but it all unraveled. It didn't go if you remember this, but it all unraveled. It didn't go well. It all unraveled for me. No. So you'd stood on the red green slightly, which they'd obviously saved to reveal in the studio. The great bit, like, you know, me and Greg have got history, obviously.

But I'll give him his choose. The way he said the next bit was very, very clever because he said, I think I can remember it because it's emblazoned to my frontal lobe. He said, I think that was fantastic. That was fantastic, wasn't it? I think I don't know about you, but I'd really like to see that again. And I thought, yeah, I would. Because I've not seen it. At no point does the memory of him saying,

oh, there's quite a dramatic bit, that's not flared up. You're not going, oh, this might be the dramatic bit he mentioned. No, no. I assumed John had fallen down a hole or something. Fallen down the little hole. The little hole. I wonder why there's a tiny little mouse ladder in there. I wonder why there's a tiny little mouse ladder in there no none of that

point had not thought I wonder if this is I wonder if this will unravel me so I thought genuinely this is tragic I went I was genuinely going yeah I don't see it again because that was a hell of a thrash

why are they why are they why are they I watched Denry going, yeah, I'll see you again, because that was a hell of a throw. Why are they zooming? Why are they zooming? Why are they? I know why they've zoomed in. Yeah, and what I worked out as well is because they zoomed in three or four times, they didn't think the audience would catch on that quickly. Yeah. But they caught on very quickly as did i yeah and

heartbreaking i've re it was genuine as well i was heartbreaking and the what's on i don't know what's weird is like so people were coming up to me and like genuinely going um like are you all right in this like are you alright in this I was like yeah I got paid quite well but I tell you what I find the most heartbreaking thing about it is because it's so

cool and so sexy the way you get the potato in straight away it's the drop off indignity from that moment to then seconds later you are on your hands and knees in front of Greg and Alex begging them, saying, don't take this away from me. Yeah, yeah, I didn't see that coming myself.

I've not watched it that far, to see that bit. Oh, it's awful. I pause at the potato going in and me jumping up, celebrating like a slightly overconfident middle-aged man. But obviously then you get sent out of the room because Greg has decided to let the other contestants decide on whether you get disqualified or not. Yeah, well, those guys have my back.

I know that. Well, I don't know if you've watched how far you've watched but we know no no well I spoke to everyone afterwards and all four said that I should have the points so I appreciate that I really appreciate that

I'm not being funny I know John won't lie to me and I know Doc won't lie to me. And I know Doc won't lie to me. Not sure about Catherine and Richard. There's something a little bit shifty about those two. How do you feel about Doc and John now? Do you genuinely, when you see them,

do you remember what had happened? They are the reason I took up jiu-jitsu. they are the reason I took up Jiu Jitsu I really like Doc and John but a little less a little bit less yeah so it was obviously not points for you disqualified despite the time of

14.3 seconds no you were disqualified mate I can't believe this is news to you this is lived on in the annals of Taskmaster people talk about this all the time. But everyone gets a flipping point, even if they come off. If you get disqualified, you get zero points.

I'm sorry. I thought you knew this news. I'm sorry to have to break it to you. No, no, I didn't. I didn't. But you obviously joined telling me because... It's nice to get an exclusive. Yeah, yeah.

It was five points for John Richardson took his time still 1.9 minutes I'm told did he win it yeah yeah he won it four points for Osmond must have

done turd no four points four points for Osmond because he quickly cottoned on that he could stand on that sled and the and the tarpaulin and just walk straight across and dunk it in catherine got three points even though she

discovered that you could move the entire red green but only moved it a tiny bit and then started tying a bit oh yeah yeah she let herself down there didn't she yeah she let herself down there she does that quite a lot she did it again later on in the episode where she works out a good system but then sort of refuses to use it. Clearly, she doesn't want to break the rules too much. No, no, I get that. I appreciate that.

And two points for Doc Brown and then zero points for yourself, Joe. Sad. I think it's ridiculous. Like, I came fifth. Give me a point. Yeah, but you sort of became, you were disqualified from the whole thing. I've got Alex's number.

Do you have Greg's number? Yeah. Can you WhatsApp it? Are you going to text him now? Yeah. Yeah? I'm going to send you Greg's number. Yeah.

And then here on the Taskmaster podcast, you can finally get some sort of apology. Is that what you're after, an apology? No, I want to meet up. There you go. That's Greg's number. I want to go tan on each other. What are you going to say to him, Joe? Because I maybe shouldn't have given you his number

without checking with him first, really. Hi, Greg. It's Joe. I'm doing Ed's... Can I call it a podcast? Do you mind? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've just been told you didn't give me any effing points

for my pot throw. I'm not going to write potato. Pot throw. Potatoes I'd say are probably the key word in all of this. Let's meet somewhere between Brighton and London

and sort this shit out. Right, there you go. Hopefully we'll get an answer from Greg at some point during the record. Yeah. Well done, Joe. Really emotional. I think that's the best thing I've ever done. Good shot.

Job done. All right, see you in a bit. Yeah, cheers. Well done, Joe. All right. we're done it's a good shot job done all right see you in a bit yeah cheers well done joe in the meantime let's move on to task three joe which is find out the following information from the swedish person the swedish person may not speak or write in english fastest and most accurate wins now this is very much your attitude when you read out the task as well you looked absolutely devastated and tired can I say tired you look tired before you'd even got to the task what now or in the in the show in the show in

the show you looked exasperated and you looked like it was the end of the task you're like oh god no come on what what was it that filled you with such dread here, Joe? Well, some of the tasks aren't doable, and that was one of them. It wasn't doable. But a lot of other people did it, though. So there was a way of doing it, but you didn't have a technique.

Well, there isn't, though, is there? Because he speaks a completely different language. Yeah, but what a lot of other people did, mimes and things like that. So Doc still got three out of six. They did a bit of miming. John, you know, got five out of six. Richard got all of them right. He just did a sort of counting

letters thing with the alphabet. I'm surprised he didn't speak bloody Swedish, did he? Probably just thought, I'll learn that just in case. But that is what, that's sort of what your approach was. It was almost like you were hoping you suddenly might understand Swedish, because you were

asking him questions, he was speaking back to you in Swedish, and you looked disappointed every time you couldn't work it out. But like every language, how different can it be? Well, Richard got all six right, going through the alphabet one by one. Doc got three out of six. John gets five out of six.

And Catherine got all six right as well. She phoned a Danish person and got her to translate some of the stuff. So there are ways round it. Yeah, you phone someone from a completely different country that's what you do yeah of course yeah i've got yeah i should have phoned raul who's raul my spanish friend now so do you think that his knowledge of spanish would have helped you with the swedish task clearly it does, doesn't it? Just phone someone on your phone who doesn't speak English. So good.

It's the simplest ideas that are the best, aren't they? It's hindsight. When you see it, you go, why has this not been done before? Why don't I phone someone from a different country and see if they speak swedish do you remember anything about this task because i'd imagine you were still reeling from the potato thing right i do i do i remember doing i don't remember anything in the studio because like like when i get frustrated my legs ache yeah

that's genuinely true when I get frustrated my legs ache because I like if I get frustrated I say to my missus oh my legs ache and I remember my legs really aching in that because I genuinely like I know I joke about it now but I was like I was going well this can't be done can it

because I'm sort of saying oh when's your birthday and he's going oh and I'm like I don't know what that is so at no point did it occur to you to think of another way of trying to interpret it with like my thing or holding fingers no no that no no that that's baffling isn't it absolutely baffling I don't even though you baffling. I don't, even though you said it, I still don't think I'd do it. Well, even if you knew the right techniques, if you were offered the opportunity to do it again, you just wouldn't do it.

I think because I'd be so frustrated that my first approach hadn't worked. Yeah. That I'd just bail again, really worryingly. I just couldn't think of any other way it could be done, unless going, can you just say it, and then I'll hopefully understand it. No Swedish, yeah. Interesting.

I wonder if that will affect the mood towards Joe there, because the sigh as soon as he found out the gentleman was Swedish, was bordering on racist. I don't like him! And now it's time to hear from our BFF bonus fact finder, Alex Horne. Oh no, I'm back! Yes, it's me, little Alex Horne, your old BFF, Bonus Fact Finder. I'm sorry I've been away, but here I am, because it's two series two of Taskmaster episode one and because I've neglected you I have returned with a bonus fact about each of the three tasks what an episode this was uh the first task is about the place the three exercise balls on the yoga mat on the top

of the hill task and my fact is this the task was filmed at a place called Northala Fields which looks and sounds like an ancient burial ground but is in fact a man-made area. The hills were constructed using rubble from the building of the new Wembley Stadium or the old one, something like that. Anyway, look it up on Wikipedia. If you do, you'll see that under Northala Fields

it says the hills featured in a memorable episode of the british tv show taskmaster so there we go okay uh the second task and the second fact is about the get the potato into the golf hole task what a moment that was and my fact is that after joe failed so obviously to obey the rules. There was a lot of chat amongst myself and Greg and everyone I know about whether or not we did the right thing. My brother thought we had done the wrong thing. I didn't sleep that night because I thought maybe we'd done the wrong thing. The next night I did sleep because I was confident that we'd done the right thing. So my fact is that that was not an easy decision to make and still causes difficult conversations at Christmas. The final task was about the Swedish

person and we all miss the Swedish person. I'm often asked where he is so my fact is this. The Swedish person is a man called Fred Arlen who has returned to Sweden. He was a substitute drummer in my band, The Horn Section, when Ben, the handsome guy, was unable to make it because of other commitments. Fred, also handsome, drummed very well, but is now a painter and decorator back in Sweden, who still drums from time to time. I would like to see him, but I can't because of the situation in the world. But I will soon.

He is my favourite Swede. Goodbye, stay safe, make good choices. We come to the studio task, Joe. Did you enjoy doing the studio tasks? No. No. Stressful? No, I felt really under pressure.

Yeah. Do you know the bit I always feared is that they were going to make me open the envelope and read it out just in case there was a wrong word I couldn't read. That's not even a joke. I thought they might say, like, reverberate or something and I wouldn't, I'd be like, what the hell is that?

Is that why you've learnt the word reverberate now? Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't be able to read it. But I genuinely was like, don't give me the envelope to open. Those are stress on the studio tasks, I found. They feel like they have more pressure because there's people watching them

and you're against someone. So it feels like you'd be able to immediately see how bad you are at something. But I think I did well in it. No, you got nought points again. This is nought points for the studio task. Because you didn't complete the

task. It was pack for a holiday. All items must be packed in your hand luggage or worn on your body. Fastest wins. And I believe you had a bit of a meltdown and ended up just smashing everything on the floor. I do remember that. I remember

really looking at Alex and seeing him in a different light. What light? Because I like Alex. I've always had a sort of soft spot for Alex. Just generally I've always found him to be a very

not someone I'd ever want to hurt. And then I had to get everything in a suitcase or on me. And, yeah, I glanced over and felt something I hadn't felt before. Even... I mean, obviously, you were reeling from the potato thing. Even during the potato thing, you didn't want to hurt Alex, but as soon as it came to the sort of having to put things on and get stuff in a suitcase you thought that's it i'm angry yeah because i knew it cut like i knew it had come from his head yes so i wanted to um i wanted to dent it a little bit yeah i understand i do i do understand that uh that thing of like you came up with this and now are you trying to humiliate me?

Yeah, you're torturing me. Yeah. Because it was really good fun, as I say, but it was really frustrating. And I don't know about you, but I was dreaming about it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because it's all quite intense.

And I was just sort of thinking about it a lot and then letting myself down and thinking about it and trying to clear my head for the following afternoon. Yeah. And just going, come on. And it just, it all got on top of me. And I think, I think that became apparent. I think that became apparent.

So it was an Osman victory, which is going to make you angry, I'd imagine. 20 points for Richard Osman in that first episode, 18 points for John Richardson, 17 points for Catherine Ryan, all pretty tight at the top. Nine points for Doc Brown, eight points for you, Joe.

So where did I come overall? Bottom. Bottom with eight? Bottom with eight points in that episode Okay that's interesting And just to put it into perspective If I was serious that would have me second I think Just to put it in perspective you got eight points and you got five points

for the prize task So So what are we saying there then? If I've got eight points in total and five in the first task, that means three points for the four tasks afterwards. Less than a point a task

on average. So on average three quarters of a point. Is that right? There or thereabouts. Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah. Okay, that was kind of in the ballpark

that I was sort of aiming for in that first episode. Yeah. So you can then go up through the gears. Go through the gears, yeah. Joe, we've got some emails from listeners. Would you be happy to answer some of these questions? Are they pleasant emails or are they people saying, I don't like what you do?

No, they're all pretty pleasant, I'd say. I saw you at a gig in Canterbury. You were booked to do 20. You came off after 12. We've filtered a lot of those out. We've filtered a lot of those out. We've filtered a lot of the, all of the- So is that why there's only a couple of these? There's only a few because we had to take out

all the ones with a Hastings IP address. So obviously we had a lot of potato ones. So we've narrowed it down to our favourite potato question. Sure. This is Rob from London. He says, my question for Joe, has he been able to look at or eat a potato since his traumatising disqualification from the potato task?

Also, what would he have voted if it was the other way round? I guess Rob's saying if it was one of the other contestants, would you have voted for them to get the points or not? I would have voted for them to get the points. Yeah. Absolutely, yes. would you have voted for them to get the points or not? I would have voted for them to get the points. Yeah? Absolutely, yes. And that differentiates me from them as a whole. And yes, I would definitely.

Because I'd be thinking about their feelings. And has it affected your attitude towards potatoes since then? I'd crinkle-cut chips for tea. I think that speaks volumes. Answers the question, doesn't it? I had crinkle cut chips, chicken Kievs, peas and I had three

of a box of 12 Ferrero Roches. Lovely. And I just cannot shift the weight. I think that's answered Rob's question. Second email. This is from Pr's question. Second email. This is from Pranav. Hi, Joe. We've usually seen you do the aloof,

disinterested hobo character on panel shows. Sorry? You're a hobo character. But Taskmaster was different. You were needier. Was that unintentional, or did you go into filming with a certain mindset in hindsight what effect do you think the show had on you when you were in it regards prano

i i got swept up in it if that's what he means i did get swept up in the in the sheer pageantry yeah of the whole thing and um i yeah i i i i did i did come out of my shell and I did become the person I want to be. This is from Stu Alexander. He says, Joe, if you could make Alex Horne complete a task from your series, what would you choose? Probably one of the ones they cut, the Licking Razorbl blades one, I'd say.

How did you do on that one? Well, you can see the size of my tongue. What would I make him do? Potato, I think. See how it feels with the backlash, the public backlash. Has there been a public backlash? I mean, honestly, people talk about this so much. I think it comes up in most discussions of Taskmaster.

This was a huge moment. Do people still come up to you and ask you about this? Yes, but I do make them stand two metres away. Of course. That's just the way i'm approaching the whole pandemic yeah i'm sticking to the rules and i hope you are you uh i mean the best way to make someone socially distant from you is to uh carry around a big red green stand right in the middle of it about two meters although some people can't be trusted to stay off that so i'm a more uh 1.98 meter guy and there was there was a lot of um there was there was a

genuine weird amount of um interest in how i was doing genuinely and the amount of like um genuinely and the amount of like men just saying the phrase you were robbed and then and then I'd have to work out what they meant

as they as they drove away but was he really six years ago before five years ago because it still happens now yeah yeah

which is insane yeah so yeah that is it's kind of bad five years on and they go and people are going just uh yeah and i was watching telus master and uh yeah your potato thing was just i don't see why they you know i mean it's just i don't know why they just didn't do it because it would have been you know yeah no yeah all right well yeah have a good day and then I'll go what about

what about just other stuff I've done Joe thank you very much for coming on to the Taskmaster podcast I always get the guests to rate their experience on the podcast between 1 and 5 points as is customary so do you have the guests to rate their experience on the podcast between one and five points as is customary. So do you

have a points rating for your experience on the Taskmaster podcast? Five out of five. I've had a lovely time because I haven't seen you in ages. Oh good, it's been nice to catch up. It's been nice to see you. It's been lovely. Have you had a response from Greg yet? Oh my god, yeah. Oh no, what's happened

I didn't know he was on tiktok he just sent me to his tiktok page god he's a self promoter isn't he he's got 3000 tiktok followers it's incredible thank you very much Joe yeah that'll get edited down, won't it?

So just for the... Can I do one more little behind the curtains? We have recorded for about an hour and 40. So have a look at what has actually been left and imagine the drivel if that got cut out. So an hour'm 40 down to whatever, whatever,

you know, have a look at the time bar and you'll see how much they've cut out. Thanks, Joe. And what have we learnt today? Well, we've learnt that

life can be cruel. One day, you're a happily married sporting hero and the next, you're a lonely potato-throwing cheat. Well, there we are as expected you know taskmaster based sure but occasionally wending our way onto different paths which is fun it was a really i absolutely loved that conversation

i don't know if you could tell i think jo Joe Wilkinson's hilarious and I just love prodding his brain. So thank you very much for listening. Next week, of course, because of how numbers work, we will be talking about Series 2, Episode 2. Very happy to tell you that our guest for next week

is the wonderful Sian Gibson. That's right. Occasionally we're straying outside the actual lineup of the show we're talking about. We're talking to Sian Gibson. That's right. Occasionally we're straying outside the actual lineup of the show we're talking about. We're talking to Sian Gibson from series eight of Taskmaster. Of course, she's been through the Taskmaster ringer. She knows the process. She's also, crucially, a big fan of the show. So she loves this series. She's excited to chat about it. I can't wait to talk to Sian. What I would say is we have already recorded it so you can't send in

questions but keep sending in your general taskmaster questions to taskmasterpodcast at gmail.com and we will do our best to answer them more information about future guests coming up and people you can ask questions to until then we will see you next week thank you very much for listening. Goodbye. Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future.