Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 22. Kerry Godliman - S2 Ep.4

Episode Date: March 11, 2021

On the podcast this week Ed is joined by actor, comedian, bosh queen, and series 7 champion, Kerry Godliman! They talk laminators, team tasks and how it feels to be part of the TM alumni. Kerry introduces Human Tapas and they even invent a new word. As well as all of this they discuss Series 2 Episode 4 which involved a tiki bar, a tickle station and some tasks just for Jon Richardson. Taskmaster returns to Channel 4 on March 18th at 9pm. Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com  Sales, advertising and general enquiries:[e-mail] the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can get anything you need with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea and ice cream? Yes, we can deliver that. Uber Eats. Get almost almost anything. Order now.

Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast. Ed Gamble here, host of the Taskmaster podcast. We are currently trawling our way through old episodes of Taskmaster, episode by episode, getting down into that nitty gritty, talking about it task by task with special guests. We're currently on series two of Taskmaster and this episode of the TMPod, the TMP as people are calling it out there in the skate parks, they're all calling it TMP. A great idea that, I say the kids are calling it and then I'll do an acronym of the podcast, a great idea that I've come up with. And then you can all say TMP as a little sort of catchphrase thing a brill idea

from me so we're currently talking about series two like I say and today we're talking about series two episode four with Kerry Godliman not on series two of course we decided to get a bit of an outside eye for this one but a Taskmaster expert nonetheless. A Taskmaster champion of series seven. I absolutely love Kerry. She was brilliant on Taskmaster. She's going to be brilliant on the podcast. She really cares about Taskmaster. She absolutely loves watching it. She loves doing it. She's the perfect guest for this podcast uh we are going to be drilling down into every task in series 2 episode 4 uh now next week taskmaster series 11

starts so i'm just going to take you through the schedule of what we're doing podcast wise uh so today uh we're releasing this episode and we're releasing our episode based on series two episode five we're going to be chatting to Richard Osman about that and next week we start properly with series 11 because on March 18th Taskmaster series 11 starts on channel 4 at 9pm and it's going to be every Thursday for the next 10 weeks after that so brilliant lineup as you know uh I mean just just an incredible lineup uh Lee Mack um we've got Jamali Maddox Charlotte Ritchie Mike Wozniak and Sarah Kendall an incredible lineup I'm very excited to watch it and start talking about it so we will be back on March 18th with that

straight after the main show drops. So without further ado this is the TMP TMP with Kerry Godliman. Welcome Kerry Godliman to the Taskmaster podcast. Thank you so much for coming on. Oh it's an honour. Is it an honour? I think so. i feel like i'm part of an alumni that i'm really chuffed to be a part of well you're you're part of an elite alumni of course because uh you are in the winners hall of fame yeah i've decided to call it very tenuously if we unpick that it's one point in sausage or finger that is it's very tenuous my uh my place in that in that role call i don't think because no because i think you needed to be you needed to be consistent you need to be good you need to be strong throughout the series to get to the point where it was down to one point in sausage or finger

so obviously shout out to jess napper who's been on the podcast before who was one point away from it was so nearly hers it was so nearly hers did that make you feel uh more excited and better about the victory that it was only one point in sausage or finger or did it did it make it did it sort of take the sheen off it at all uh i tell you what honestly without wanting to sound like a wanker i was so happy that there was no sheen to remove it was all just good times and she's so lovely we'd all had such fun and at that last bit I just genuinely didn't know if it had gone my way or her way we knew it was close yeah and and I was just giddy I genuinely was like oh this is all we're winning we're all winning I think sausage or finger might go down in history as the tensest studio task in taskmaster

history oh man it was so intense it was so intense and in that in that there were bits of that that i was so focused i don't think i've ever been more focused i felt like luke skywalker i just i just the intensity of me trying to channel, what's that sausage? What's that finger? Just really, really zooming down on that sausage finger moment. So did you want to win? Is that, I mean, look, I wanted to win. I'll put that out there.

I don't feel ashamed of that feeling. How do you feel? Yeah, I did want to win. But you want to do it in that you don't want to be a wanker about it, do you? But you do want to win. But it's really delicate, isn't it? That sort of like being competitive about clowning. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Like essentially we were all wearing big shoes and, you know, squirty flowers. We were all dicking about. And yet to be competitive about that just seems absurd. But, yeah, I suppose we all wanted to win really because you need to have that spirit to do it don't you a bit yeah i think so i think you're right in that it's a balance i think you have to want to win a bit to engage in the competition yeah but you have to laugh when things go badly as well i'm not sure i always managed it i always

like the way that they have like human tapas, where obviously there are people that clearly don't give a shit if they win and their presence is equally valuable. Yes. You know, so the people like you and me that, let's face it, Ed, we're not that dissimilar in that we did want to win and we were quite focused. But you do need the other people that really look like they're having a breakdown and they don't know where they are. You need them as well i'd

just like to focus on the uh on the phrase human tapas there carrie i knew you'd like that i've never heard that before absolutely brilliant that could be a new a new name for taskmaster if there's ever like totally if if marvel uh ever sue taskmaster for using the name taskmaster because that is a villain uh in the marvel universe they could go to human tapas they could go to human tapas and you've got to have a little bit of everything absolutely it's a really important thing to bear in mind when you're putting together a Taskmaster cast human tapas if you were to compare your series series seven yeah uh and everyone's a different dish on a tapas menu. Yes, I love this. What tapas dish would you say you are?

A staple, I think, like a potato-based. A patatas bravas. Is that what it is, a patatas bravas? Yes. That's who I am. That is what I am. And then James was like something a bit experimental, where you're like, let's just give it a go. Let's just try that.

Like a prune wrapped in bacon, maybe. Yes, where it might work out, but it might not. Yeah, I think I'm a more sort of solid potato-based thing. I mean, obviously we're going to have to go through everyone. You will have to steer this because your knowledge of food is far superior to mine i'll take what i'll take what i'll take what you say and i'll work out what spanish dish best best relates to it okay so rod rod would be quite a fiery i'd say like a peppery meaty sort of situation do you know what i mean like chorizo yeah totally chorizo all the way

uh which gets us back on the sausage theme so this is all this is linking up what do you reckon Phil Wang what was what was Phil Wang doing given his costume we should have picked Jeretho for him as well God what would Phil be he'd be an omelette he'd be a sort of

omelette thing yeah like a tortilla type thing absolutely now why would Phil be a tortilla type thing absolutely yeah now why why would phil be a tortilla because he's wearing a yellow suit that's and then jess what do you think what do you think for jess the thing is you and jess were so close maybe the issue was you were both patatas bravas yeah maybe we were both patatas one of us had a more cheese base and the other one a chilli twist. Yeah. Slight differences. Yeah, maybe Jess would be like a croquettas.

What's that? It's sort of like a deep fried crispy thing with like ham and cheese on the inside. Lovely. It's delicious. It is a staple of tapas. Yeah. But it's got a little bit of flair. How do you feel about that for Jessess yeah no that sounds perfect the flair is definitely how i would describe jess

i think actually uh series seven is that's a great that's a great thing because all of those dishes fit together very well but you're getting a bit of variety it's one of the it's one of the the best chosen casts i think i think everyone played their role perfectly i really loved um doing that series i loved all those people i had a lovely time with them did it ever um obviously there were some explosive moments in the studio even the memory of them makes me giggle particularly between james and rod yeah now and again yeah things exploded did it ever feel genuinely tense? Did you ever feel like you might need to step in? No, I was just a pig in shit throughout the entire thing.

And the more cross James got, the more I was like... Just so happy. Because there's nothing more fun than James getting cross. It's just funny. It's just hilarious. So the more wound up he got, the more comedy potential I knew was available now obviously you picked up you picked up the nickname in your series of the Bosch Queen I did yeah I have mixed feelings about it no it's mixed feelings is it so obviously it was because you were straightforward with some of the

tasks Bosch just got it done I believe you, you would say Bosh now and again. I do say it now and again. I'm reluctant to say it because I saw on Twitter people are going to try and make you get me to say it. I'm like, fuck off. I feel like maybe for the end of the podcast, I think when we've done the podcast, it should be Bosh. Exactly.

You've got to sign it off with completion. That's how the word works. I called my tour it because I had such mixed feelings about it. Because there's one side of me that loves it and I know that there's a sort of efficiency that means I get stuff done and then there's this other side that's quite abrasive and not very patient and I I'm like I could do with a bit less of that nature yeah so it's a bit of duality about that but I think when it when it comes to Taskmaster, I think for some of the tasks, you really do have to just bosh it.

Right. You do. And also, but I love I mean, I love the whole kind of variety of tasks. But actually, that that personality isn't well suited to the ones that require a bit more thought. I mean, a bit of planning, a bit of strategy, a bit. I'm like, oh, that's not my strong suit. You know, and maths,'s not my strong suit. And maths. Maths was utterly humiliating. Well, that's interesting because, if anything, maths should be the ultimate Bosch, right?

It should be. Because there's rules that are all there, so it should just be Bosch, Bosch, Bosch, big Bosch. Yeah, no, no, you're right. It should be, but that's the nature of the show, isn't it? It's sort of full of contradiction. So, yeah, with the more creative tasks where they might say uh you've got 20 minutes to tell us what you need or you've got an hour to plan all of this within an hour it's quite difficult to bosh anything in an hour right yeah totally sometimes i would just be brainstorming i'd feel like if i just shout keywords at that crew, gaffer tape, Velcro, bamboo canes, spoons, and then they can put it all together and sort of see what I'm trying to achieve.

That poor crew, the entire production crew must have seen the great and good of British comedy have absolute meltdowns. Yeah. And I love it when you see them. Like there was one of my tasks, I think it was one of my biggest failures memories of your series is is cul-de-sac is that the name of the soap the soap that you did with Donna and Donna absolutely brilliant and I think that's an example of uh where you can bosh something out and be creative I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Cause honestly, I think it was my favorite task.

Oh, it's, it's so, it's so good. And I think it, it makes me think, I think you and Jess are one of the, the ultimate teams.

I, I loved it that they did a girl's team and a boy's team for our series. I just love that. Cause we definitely, we definitely just got, we clicked and we, and I don't know if we would have done if we'd been with one of the boys, we definitely just clicked. And I don't know if we would have done if we'd been with one of the boys. It was just something.

And to make... It was like Birds of a Feather goes horribly wrong, wasn't it, cul-de-sac? I would watch at least a full half an hour episode of cul-de-sac. Me too. I mean, I pitched it. I don't think you could do much more than that. Because it's just so like... It's so back and forth and so high energy. I think at the end of the episode,

you'd be like, I'm knackered watching this. Oh man, that fight. And we knew from the beginning we were going to have a fight. Yeah. It was very clear we needed to have a cat fight. Yeah, I think you and Jess are definitely on the same page.

Patatas Bravas and Croquetas go together like an absolute dream. Big time. Unless you're getting off carbs, then're fucked yeah exactly the boys team there's something wrong with all of them but it's different things oh man the boys team i mean there were moments where i was just like they need a key worker to just get in there and help like rod will not listen to anyone else and always thinks he's right yeah james was just angry with rod the whole time so anything anyone does he gets angry and phil just pumbles around like winnie the pooh so this is just one of the most useless teams ever

yeah absolutely but isn't there something brilliant about the useless teams my favorite useless team is joe and david yeah yeah i mean i mean there's brilliant about the useless teams? My favourite useless team is Joe and David. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was a pleasure to watch. I mean, there's a level of uselessness. Oh, it was a joy. I mean, they made James, Rod and Phil look really focused and efficient. But the difference is, I think James, Rod and Phil were really trying,

but they were just working within their abilities. Yeah. Whereas Joe and David just couldn't give a shit. Couldn't give a shit. So they'd stop for a sandwich. were really trying but they were just working within their abilities yeah whereas joe and david just couldn't give a shit couldn't give a shit they'd stop for a sandwich joe in the last team task of the series went to the toilet during a time task i know and that shouldn't be so wonderful and yet it is they've earned that they've earned that right and i i love them as a team and i had the added thing of being able to watch them going I love this it's really funny they're not doing well in the task and then thinking oh that's good that means I get more points so it's just so many layers to me enjoying that until I had to be on a

team with David Baddiel for a studio task which I don't know about yeah so is is cul-de-sac one of your favorite memories of the series and do you have any other favorite tasks um i love doing that circle in the snow that was a standout moment for me you're so proud of yourself oh man the joy but again that sort of luck it's luck isn't it like the one point in sausage or finger it was like pure chance that it was snowing on my day yeah and uh and i got a massive piece of paper in the garden called snow. So that was a high. There were just so many. The quick change.

I love doing the quick change. And I couldn't believe when we all were in the studio. Did you find when you were doing it that you assumed, I always assumed that I'd taken the route one. I always just thought, well, surely everyone's going to do that. Yeah. And then when you watch it back and you see that they're all coming at it differently, I just couldn't, the ways they approached that quick change, as I was watching them fuck it up, I knew I'd smashed it.

I was like, wow, if he's saving my video to last, I know I've smashed that task. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because I do not know what, what was James doing? What was he doing? I've got no idea. And the video of phil as well behind the door getting changed slower than i get changed on a normal day it's like you just want to reach into the video and go did you even read the task

phil quick change phil so let's talk about the prize task in this series two episode four it's coolest blue thing which is a nice a nice category i think did you enjoy the prize task i love the prize task that was one of my absolute favorite things and i stand by all my choices i don't look back on any of them and go oh i didn't do very well i love. I loved all the things that I came up with and I loved all the things everyone else... I thought in our series, the prize task was a lot of...

There was a lot of fun to be had with that round. Yeah, I think they were strong. I think for some reason in series 10, they were all just quite bad. It was very funny, but they were all quite bad at prize tasks yeah they didn't think it through enough or they didn't realize how much how much focus they would be on the prize yeah and i love it when greg's really disappointed with prize tasks where he's like screw you raise your game and i love the way you want to impress him with those prize tasks i do

i engaged with it's greg's a big part of it you want to like make him laugh or surprise him or you know yeah i looking back at myself during those prize tasks it's pathetic i'm supposed to be friends with greg and i'm sat there going excuse me what about this that i brought in please i love that section but i i felt, especially with your prize toss as well, I think Greg has an innate respect for you that definitely helped. Do you reckon? Yeah, and I think you're kind of on the same page,

especially with, obviously, the laminator. Yeah, the laminator was a glorious moment. This was really hard for me because I love stationery. You think I don't? Well, I don't know if you love it as much as me. Oh, I do. Because I love it the most.

Yeah? Right. I think I know what it is. As a stationery connoisseur, instinct tells me, because I know what the king of the stationery items is. Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful if it's the same thing? And I genuinely don't know what you brought in. Shall we say it together?

Yes. One, two, three. A laminator! A laminator! yes one two three a laminator so doc brown uh brought in uh feel no threat by the average white band yeah which he claimed was the coolest blue thing uh because it had a blue a blue cover yes i actually think even though it was coolest blue thing i think the choice i think it was too cool for Greg to like. Do you know what? I mean, shall I say now what mine is?

Cause mine's quite influenced by Doc. Yeah, please. Right. So I, I probably would have gone down, probably because I watched the episode on Doc. I would have either gone for the album Blue by Joni Mitchell or Kind of Blue. What's that? Is there a Miles Davis one called Kind of Blue?

Yes, I think it's Miles Davis. So I'd have gone for one of those two. It probably influenced by Doc, but he didn't pick i mean i know he's a muso so obviously his music knowledge is better than mine but everyone's heard joni mitchell and miles davis they're two like known yeah more classic blue albums but i think that's too cool kerry i think i'm not sure how it would have let's go over the brief ed the the coolest blue thing now do you undermine the brief do you subvert the brief or do you stick to the brief this is a delicate this is delicate yeah it is delicate and it depends totally depends on what mood greg's in totally depends which you

cannot predict he's a very unpredictable beast and also sometimes when you're super earnest you can become like uh a wanker and there's something to to to get out of that isn't it hype yeah heightened earnestness can be really funny so i would go i'd go in hard on the call angle and say miles davis um do you want to know what i would have done i've thought about it a lot yeah of course i would have got a a cool bag uh and i would have had it signed by all the members of blue uh yeah i mean that's brilliant you you've really you've gone for the literal you've gone down that road haven't you yeah so literal yeah but again depends what mood greg's in he could have just said i don't like the boy band blue i hate it and he would he might have thought that was clever or he might have

thought it was smart ass and you just can't you can't be sure he normally thinks things i do is smart ass to be honest then it go oh little little oh well done you see what you've done there yeah so joe and john both interpreted blue in the sort of raunchy yeah a bit of blue exactly yeah now of course we should have seen that coming with joe wilkinson who is i think if i had to describe him as someone who'd never seen him before i describe him as the embodiment of seaside grot. Now, you've worked with Joe on a number of occasions. Is that something that...

Would you expect that sort of thing from him? I would on Taskmaster. Not in a green room, but on Taskmaster. Yeah, that is what I would expect him to bring to the table, yeah. The seagoing sexpot book? I would expect it from him but i wouldn't expect it from john it was a surprise with john and i thought joe had it in the bag i thought he's won it yeah it's a very funny way to interpret it he had a funny way of

backing it up talking about how much he loved it and then it was his favorite book yeah and then john and then john came along with that weird little pig thing. The pig Lanzarote fridge magnet. Absolute filth bag. And obviously it's then on a level with Joe that it's filthy. But just the fact it's a pig means it just pips Joe to the post. Yeah, it just nudged it in there. It was a definite sausage or finger. Yeah. Pipped to the post.

Yeah, it really was. It was a sausage or finger. Yeah. A sausage in this case um richard brought in his son's riot helmet which leads me to ask a lot of questions about their home life yeah i didn't get that that he went with obscure he went it was it was very obscure i feel like there may have been more of a story there that we didn't get yeah that's the thing isn't it sometimes well you know there can be loads of fun to be had and then it doesn't make the edit and

unfortunately sometimes that happens and i bet that was one of those moments yeah sometimes with the price task you just need to be able to sum it up in a few words yeah and then get out i mean katherine brought in a blue dog collar which as far as I could work out from how she was describing it, was like a shot collar. Yeah. And I like that she just unashamedly was like, that's cool. And everyone's going, is it though? Yeah, is it? I mean, I sometimes play rude scrabble. And when you start playing it, obviously words like bum and willy and all like you have rude words. But then after a while, you'll try and persuade your teammates that random words are rude if you say them rudely.

So if you say, I don't know, like lamp, but if you go lamp, it's suggestively rude. And it was like she did that with cool. She was like, that's cool. I'm like, is it? If you keep saying it, it's still not cool. Yeah. I brought in a hot floor to make my bear dance. That's cool.

Yeah, exactly. It's not so cool. I have a dog whose job it is to bark when she hears a potential threat. It's very annoying in the modern world. So I got her this blue collar that emits a tiny psst psst to stop her barking when she barks. Isn't that cool?

Is it cool? Task one. Rescue the cat. Best rescue wins. Your time starts now. The cat answers to the name. Patatas. Oh wow. There we go. That's so interesting. We've got a motif. We've got a motif. We've done it

um this was this is an interestingly worded task because it's very open to interpretation what does a what does a rest what makes a rescue good yeah although they all seem to go down the same road which was just poke it out the tree yeah lob it out the tree was how they interpreted rescue yeah all sorts of things got thrown at that cat what else could you have done how else would you approach that it's a really it's a really tricky one but also i think they didn't stress enough in the wording of the task quite how strict greg was going to be about the welfare of the cat oh i didn't interpret it that way either though yeah so because obviously in the studio greg's saying how day you throw

things at patatas you're treating patatas awfully yeah yeah and if that you know if they'd said in the task this is the taskmaster's cat he loves the cat then maybe yeah you might have done more they should have used a real cat and then people might have been a lot more careful they should have gaffer taped a real cat to a tree and they would have got different results no i think i think you're right there's kind of no other way to do it other than how would you have done it oh i probably just would have loved stuff at it and then but then definitely tried to catch it because katherine won because she caught it she treated it like a real cat yeah yeah no

and she was she was talking to the cat throughout as if it was real and calling to patatas by name so i think that was the key there was to the best rescue you don't want to knock a cat out of a tree and then no no you're right i didn't i right. I didn't interpret it that way. I was just like, get it out quick. Yeah. Who could have foreseen that's how I would interpret it? Because it's not quickest. Because Joe did it in the quickest time.

But he came third. Because he was throwing tennis balls and then he threw a football. And that's not the way you rescue a cat. I think the way to actually do it is probably with a long pole like Richard was trying to do yeah but appallingly appallingly and then he just gave up yeah he really lost his patience with that one I hate that feeling I do remember that feeling on a couple of tasks where you're like I'm really not enjoying this yeah oftentimes it did involve cardboard because the one I didn't enjoy was the tower with the boxes and I remember thinking I don't think there's anything good is going to come from this I don't yeah it's hockey

season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats well almost almost anything so no you can't get a nice rink on Uber Eats but iced tea ice cream or just plain old ice yes we deliver those goaltenders no but chicken tenders plain old ice? Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age.

Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. We can wait for clean water solutions. Or we can engineer access to clean water. We can acknowledge Indigenous cultures. Or we can learn from Indigenous voices. We can demand more from the earth.

Or we can demand more from ourselves. At York University, we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. better tomorrow join us at yorku.ca write the future cardboard is not a pleasing substance to um and i think richard was trying to make a poll out of cardboard and it wasn't working out yeah just flopping over it's very frustrating cardboard will often let you down those tasks are really difficult aren't they when you feel like you're not you're not doing it well and also i had a few of those where i'm like i'm not doing this well but i'm not doing it so badly that it's funny yes exactly that and then you start thinking how is this going to be good telly

and you start getting really angry and that makes you worse and then you're on the outside of yourself and you just it's gone yeah yeah exactly and then the crew are all looking at you like there's something wrong with you yeah yeah i had that feeling even even gary the cameraman stopped smiling you know that's bad prior to the cameraman stopped smiling. You know, that was bad. Prior to the catch, what had you thrown at the cat? A football. Yep. Some tennis balls. Yeah. A tennis racket. Yep.

A lacrosse stick. A lacrosse stick. A croquet mallet, a crutch and a space hopper. Thank you. My sort of plan was, if I don't rescue the cat, at least I can give it some things to play with in the dream. John also called the cat a dick, and then he called me a dick. Just so you know. Let's move on to task two. Conceal this pineapple on your person.

No part of the pineapple may be thrown away. You have 20 minutes, after which Alex will inspect you. Such a creepy sentence. Most incorrect guesses wins. Your time starts now. I'll say straight away at the top, I think this is my favourite task in the series. Yeah, definitely.

It's a great task. It's so good. And obviously features pineapples, which is a classic Taskmaster fruit. But I would be excited to do this task, I think. Didn't you do one similar with an aubergine we did we had to that was the first task that they showed i think on uh on our series uh yeah we had to hide three aubergines yeah in a room yeah similar sort of thing and i loved doing that

i loved trying to trying to trip alex up yeah that looked like a lot of fun i was and i got to like i ripped the sofa open pretending I was as I said I think I said I was pretending I was in prison and they were searching for drugs um oh so much fun yeah I would have I would have loved I would have loved this as well um what what would have been your first thought when it came to the the pineapple how would you have I wouldn't have eaten or drunk any of it I was really no because I wouldn't have inter I would have assumed that that wasn't allowed. That wasn't in the spirit of the thing.

Same with Catherine Ryan. So you're both rule followers. Yeah. I just would have thought, well, how can he possibly... That doesn't count. That's not the right approach. So I would have probably chopped it up really small, like maybe even diced it or minced it

and just distributed it everywhere. I'd have gone for that kind of, up my sleeves. I don't think anyone made good use of their sleeves. What about pipes? Like a kind of pipe situation. So it was literally piped around your whole body. I think I'd have gone down that road. i guess the issue with that technique of putting it everywhere is that every guess would be correct yeah you're right yeah you're right who was john really smashed it didn't he because he

but yeah but i suppose that's kind of what john did in that he hid it in 17 different places and somehow i think maybe he just didn't cover so he had 17 different places but Alex incorrectly guessed 20 times it was a slightly wacky task wasn't it like it was a little bit interpretive because I didn't know that you were gonna get points for that quite like I I don't I didn't quite understand that you would get points for Alec guessing something and then it not being there. And I probably would have benefited, like Catherine did, from Alec's being a bit coy about female body parts.

So I'd have just put it all in my bra and just hoped that he wouldn't want to say bra or tits. I mean, that would have been my approach. It's such a good technique. You can always rely on alex being being embarrassed by the female body yeah i mean it's a definite advantage for female contestants when in doubt stick it somewhere female and he will not draw attention to it champion of champions is going to be him just blushing the whole time there's three three yeah absolutely really exploit that

for sure well all our bras will just get bigger and bigger and bigger. Things worth stashing down there. Even in tasks where you don't have to hide anything. Yeah, totally. We'll hide each other in each other's bra. Yeah, John did do a great job. I initially thought it would be quite a bad job because he had a bowl of pineapple exposed on his head

and also a fly flew out of his sleeve that was great it's so good um Catherine again like you say yeah she I think Catherine's technique was pretty good she went with a sort of hers was smooth I loved her yeah the efficiency of that where did she get that corset from she I assume she brought that she had that she must just have that kicking around a spank so pineapple hiding spanks bit of kit great and she did a sort of cling film nappy and then almost did like a like a drag tuck oh it was beautiful i mean it was like good drug smuggling strategy like that is a woman who could come out of columbia without anyone suspecting anything but what was funny about it is when she had all her clothes on when

she sort of covered it all up it looked like great she you couldn't see pineapple there at all no and then when she revealed it a lot how did i not spot that because she wasn't she wearing a boiler suit at the beginning so yeah she had the boiler suit on i mean good old boiler suits man you can just shit yourself and nobody knows well good at least people know if they ever see you wearing a boiler suit in public what's happening it's very possible i'm wearing a nappy under there richard i thought should have he should have been better at this because he only hid it in four places yeah he's got a lot of body mass yeah he's probably got like 150 places on his body absolutely he could have been yeah he could have had loads more hidden. He's like a map of Britain. There's so many different places.

Yes. Joe, obviously, just awful at that. Just terrible. He faked Alex out, though, which I think is kind of a key thing here. I wouldn't have thought that far ahead to fake Alex out, but Joe did do the, he had a roll of tape under his hat as a sort of obvious lump, and Alex thought there was pineapple under there.

So that was quite clever. But apart from that, he did not do very well. But he was sticking to his tapas persona. Do not deviate from your persona. Exactly. He was the anchovy. Absolutely. It was five points for John Richardson.

Four points for Catherine Ryan. Three points for Richard Osman, four points for Catherine Ryan, three points for Richard Osman, two points for Doc Brown and one point for Leandra V. Wilkinson. Have you got something in your bra? No. In the front area? What do you mean the front area?

Sort of in your pants. Wow. Happy. There it is. So task three quite often in these early series uh there's like four four tasks four film tasks yeah whereas i think now this tends to be uh tends to be only three uh but this third task takes two parts so the first part is four of the contestants apart from john who get to set their own task it's set a fun task your task must take no longer than one minute you have 10 minutes your time starts now again this this would have panicked me hugely but you would i think the advantage of being in one of the latter series is you would because they're in the second series they don't

like they're quite simple tasks that they set aren't they yeah they are but i guess they have to be if it's if it's one that only takes one minute i think they're the thing is i when john had so john had to do them part two is is john had to do all the tasks set by the panelists and then in the studio had to guess uh who had set each task and he is mortified when he finds out that no one else did these and that they're going to show a montage of it. But I think he did really well. Do you? Not with...

I mean... Guessing he did really well. Guessing he smashed it. He smashed guessing. I couldn't believe how uncommitted he was to the makeup tutorial. I mean, what a missed opportunity. He could have camped his head off for that he could

have had a really good time but can you imagine that no you're right john wouldn't think of the tapas richardson's not doing that no you're right you're right but i was like come on john he did it within within his abilities yeah you're right uh and i i think he i think he did a good job of that i think he did as well as he could at the William Tell Overture which was Doc's task that he set if you listened to last week's episode of the podcast, listeners, you would

have heard Doc do a full rendition of the William Tell Overture, that's obviously a skill he has and decided to set as a task. The strongest one I mean it's a very funny task that Joe set prove how strong you are whoever looks the strongest wins. Yeah, that's funny. But John didn't do a good job there.

He just sort of meekly picked up a table. Yeah, he could have made more of that. Yeah. And then Richard Osman, quite a naughty task, I think. Enjoy this clip of the Taskmaster. Whoever finds it funniest wins. You have one minute. Your time starts now.

That's really cruel. It's really cruel on poor john and on greg really imagine having to sit there watching someone else watch your stand-up yeah it's brilliant it's genius so no i don't think john did do well on watching greg stand up and at the end he went i've seen it before i would have been throwing myself into that i would have been screaming laughing i would have tried to make myself cry i'd have gone the other way yeah we'd have just bigged it up yeah yeah maybe that would have been too much though it would have looked sarcastic after a while but it's a risk worth taking um john got four points there for guessing everyone's correctly he did really well but i think it was maybe easier to guess because the

other people's task wasn't someone else will be choosing it so make it seem like it's not yours yeah like katherine's of course it was katherine but if katherine knew that she was going to be guessed on that she wouldn't have done that yeah exactly yeah um what would you what if you had to set a task kerry that took a minute minute, what sort of thing would you set? And it doesn't have to... It can sound like you. I'm not going to set it as a thing that other people are guessing. Oh, do you know what?

I don't know. I mean, a minute's just not long, is it? It's really not. It would be something like a ball getting in a... Goals or balls in a hoop or something, you know. Yeah, something practical. Yeah, like how many balls can you get through a net in a minute? Yeah.

Most wins. Something really ball-based. Bosh. Ball-bosh. Yeah, exactly. There's an efficiency there that is non-negotiable. It's not interpretive. Ten balls.

Right, you get the points. Task four is a team task uh using only the items on the rug construct the best thing for the task master you have 30 minutes your time starts now wow i was really underwhelmed by what they achieved it was pretty bad i think you and jess would have smashed this oh man i mean straight off the bat there were wheels there were that were not exploited i mean i'd have made some sort of moving vehicle yeah a little go-kart i watched that episode with my 10 year old son and we both were like go-kart yeah absolutely a go-kart 100 staring you in the face staring you in the face four wheels nicely laid out with poles that fit in the holes.

Yeah. Bang. Oh, that's a bang. That's not even a Bosch. That's a bang. And you could have had like a roof on it and you could have done all kinds of things with that go-kart. It could have had like cushions and plants.

It could have been a den on wheels. Well, Doc, Joe and Catherine were initially going to do a den. What I really liked about their effort is that without Catherine, that would have been nothing. Oh, my God. Catherine was totally driving that project. So Catherine drove the whole thing. And what I liked is they were just building stuff,

putting together whatever Catherine told them to do. But then Catherine would change what it was. She'd be like, it's a den. It's a tiki bar. Why is it a tiki bar? Like a tiki bar like a um like a sort of is it hawaiian based it's sort of tropics based right you know like all the drinks would be like big pineapples with stuff coming out and those uh those like stone sculptures nice touch yeah yeah exactly yeah and actually that reminds me greg loves a tiki bar oh he really enjoyed it well let's face it it was way better than the other one but um uh joe in that was a massive pain in

the arse if he'd been in my group i'd have i'd have banished him i'd have just said go just go joe well do you want to know what my note is about that go on i am like joe whenever i build a flat pack with my girlfriend. Well, it could end a relationship, that kind of attitude. Yeah, I mean, she just gets on with it and then I stand around going, oh, there's no point. This is awful. John and Richard were, if anything, worse.

I mean, Catherine is the only good person in this task, I think. John and Richard just, it's like they had a breakdown. It is like watching, you know, those documentaries where they get kids like seven up or whatever it was like one of those where like that that child psychologist with the moustache kind of voices a vt of children sort of in a room with some clay it was like they let them get on with it and they're like what do children do when we're not there what do children do when we're not watching and it was exactly like one of those. Because all that stuff in front of you, I mean, sure, my first thought wouldn't be a tiki bar,

but it certainly wouldn't be a tickle station. That was weird. I mean, I don't know what was going on with Richard and John. Was that Richard's suggestion? I don't know. I mean, Richard's hair went out of place. I've never seen Richard look so pissed. He looked like he'd been at a tiki bar and then

someone had said, right, you've got to make something. He was like, oh, alright. It was very entertaining to watch those two. They looked like they'd had about three glasses of wine. Yeah. Like, mid-drunk. But yeah, I think you would have had to have a couple of glasses of wine to come

up with a tickle station. That sounds like something you'd see at like a fetish convention yeah like it was brilliant and the little tickle station yeah but you to do it undercover so yeah i don't like to see the hands yeah i don't know whose they are the hands could just go anywhere let's keep it a secret and all richard does is he just whatever they're building at the time because they change it around a little bit as well uh because john starts doing a german accent at one point and then richard just keeps saying greg's gonna love it he just goes greg's gonna love it because you've been on your own a lot and then when you finally get to be with some of your teammates you can just become overwhelmed with giddiness can't you yeah and that's what I think

we were watching with John and Richard yeah I think I think they were just so happy to see each other and hang out yeah I think you're right that one watching John and Richard I reminded me of me and Jess making a den when we had to make a den and we just we were just having a lovely day out there were moments where you're like, oh, are we being timed or filmed? What's happening? It was four points for Doc, Joe and Catherine and a deserved one point for John and Richard.

A continually terrible episode for Richard Osman. I cannot tell you how disappointed I am with this. This is nonsense, isn't it? It's some metal, some plastic and a cloth. This could be horseshit. I don't know if I'm

the only one who thinks this isn't anything. So, it is studio task time, which was create the highest tower using only these potato based items potatoes potatoes potatoes again your potato tower must be self-standing your potato tower must be built on the table your potato tower will be measured from the tabletop to the highest potato point you have

100 seconds again yeah this is a potato episode yeah um hard i think this is one of the ones where i might have had a little meltdown if it didn't work properly and ended up throwing potatoes everywhere i found the studio tasks my least favorite tasks yeah i just it was a different vibe to being in the house or you know doing doing more pressured more pressure uh i don't know what it's like now without an audience that must be completely different then you must just feel like a person having a breakdown. Yeah. Literally. I mean, as we often do in stand-up,

there is that fine line where you're like, is this an art form or is this a breakdown? I don't know where that line is. And I felt like that on the studio tasks. Yeah, I think that I quite liked the studio tasks when the audience were cheering and like going come on and shouting for you and it felt a bit you know it felt fun it felt like you were doing the generation game or something yeah yeah yeah crackerjack but then there's somewhere

there's such like small things you were doing and really having to focus and there's not much for the audience to look at no so there's dead silence and there's an audience watching you do something really weird and then you get in your own head and think this is bizarre this is really bizarre it takes you out of it a bit yeah no i can't imagine doing it without without an audience that must feel that must feel really weird um would you have had a technique with the with the potato based items i probably would have gone down the way joe did i'd have used the waffles and gone square and gone yeah logical it feels like the only the only way to do it but then doc is the only person with a self-standing tower at the end everyone else is touching but that was that was chaos that was chancy chaos which is chaos which is a word i just made up i absolutely love it and i'm going

to continue to use it along with human tapas. What a lot this episode has given me. Well, you know, whenever we end up doing a podcast together, we have a language-based sort of split to conversation about words. So, yeah, so that was chaos, you're right. It was total chaos. I would have been very frustrated with that. I would have been very frustrated with that. So the final scores for this episode,

Doc is the winner with 18, closely followed by John on 17, Catherine on 15, always consistent Catherine. I think that's how she got the victory. And she won, didn't she? Yeah. She won the series.

Yeah. She was a very consistent competitor. Joe got 12 points. And Richard, awful episode for Osman. He must still be kicking himself about this. Five points. Less than half. Less than half of the person above him. For such a capable man, that is very disappointing.

Yeah, very disappointing. We've got a few emails from listeners, Kerry. We might have covered some of it, but we'll have another quick chat around it. Question for Kerry Godliman. This is from Abby in Portsmouth. Who do you think is going to be your biggest competition on the Champion of Champions? You. It'll be you.

Do you think it's me? Yeah because everyone I've spoken to said it's Ed. Look out for Ed. Because I'm just so bare faced competitive. Well and you're good at it. I mean, look, you're hosting a podcast on it. That's true, and I don't think that means I'm good at it. I think that means I'm

just an absolute nerd. And I really am a nerd for this show. And I would still be a nerd for this show if I hadn't done it. Well, I think that love will win out, and I think you will reign the glory of that love. I hope so. I hope we all... I hope of that love I hope so I hope we all I hope we are all competitive but I hope we're all not really competitive all the time I can't see it

it's gonna be a nightmare Kerry I just don't think that that that human tapas is gonna bring that vibe I just don't see you Lou Lisa and Richard and me being that. Do you know what I mean? I think it'll be fun. But is it human tapas now? Because it's human tapas in the initial series, right? But is this not just a plate of patatas bravas? Now you've got five winners, haven't you? Yeah. What was it like in the other champion of champions? I think

they were all quite different, weirdly. I think we're more similar as a line-up than they were as the other champion of champions. Oh, really? I don't think we've got five Boshers. We haven't got five Boshers and we haven't got five like Bob Mortimer kind of, you know, like wacky. It's not that sort of angle.

No, Lou's the closest to that. Oh, yeah, Lou can bring that. So maybe, you know, maybe it's more tapas than I was giving it credit for. It's all to play for, Ed. It's all to play for. When. It's all to play for. When it can hang on one point, who knows which way the wind's going to blow on this one. Yeah.

This is an email from Sarah in Rochester. Kerry, we saw that you keep your Series 7 trophy in your garage. Now, in case people can't remember that, on Series 9, the series that I was on, Katie Wicks brought in in i believe one of her prize tasks was steal something trophy yeah it was steal something from someone else's house and it was the trophy that you won because it was just knocking around in your garage yeah it still is

and it still is katie brought it back to you katie brought it back and it's still in my garage. Well, you can see mine taking pride of place in my office, just behind me there. Oh, God, yeah. Wow. But yours got... Did it immediately go in the office? Was it displayed at all? It went straight in the garage.

It's weird and creepy and I do not want it in my living space. This is from Jennifer in Surrey. What do you see next for donna and donna on your soap opera cul-de-sac you are my favorite contestant ever oh donna and donna could go in any direction i mean there's so much potential for donna and donna especially to be true yeah totally especially that you've got a caravan it's got wheels it could go anywhere yeah literally could go anywhere they could go on the road it's a road movie donna and donna go around the uk with i feel like you can make easily make a web series of donna and donna yeah i'd love to watch it i think you could film in the taskmaster caravan because if you text alex and ask him for something he always says yes

because he's the nicest man in the world. He's just the nicest man ever. I think Alex spends probably 20 hours of the day coming up with tasks and filming Taskmaster and then the other four not sleeping but doing birthday messages for people. I mean, my son played the Taskmaster theme tune on the piano at Christmas time and I sent it to Alex and then Alex sent me a lovely little video back of him congratulating my son on his...

It was just so kind of him. And my son was so chuffed. It was so sweet. And he must do that all day. Yeah. All day. I can't think how much money you would make if he did one of those. You know, people can do messages for money now.

Yeah. No, he doesn't do it for money. He's just an altruistic beast. Me, if anyone asked me for a birthday message. No. £50. £5,000. £5,000. £5,000. service he's just an altruistic beast me if anyone asked me for a birthday message no 50 pounds this is from jerry and nyc i don't know if it's jerry seinfeld but thanks for listening jerry uh we saw you standing for katie wicks when she was ill if greg davis became unwell how would you fancy your chances as the taskmaster oh my god i would love it i think you'd be great i'd love to be the taskmaster i think you'd be really good oh my god that's never occurred to

me and now i'm ecstatic with the thing i think you're a perfect balance uh between sort of i think you'd give harsh but fair judgments harsh but fair is one of my key phrases and you wouldn't you wouldn't take any shit from anyone and i celebrate creativity but i also applaud efficiency oh great and i'd actually love to see you in the massive chair i'd love to be in the massive chair but what greg one of my favorite moments ever is when greg picked did he pick james up and turn him upside down yes he did yeah i mean i couldn't bring that sort of physical presence no the physical presence wouldn't be there but you'd you'd feel that you'd feel that role very well i think i'd like to see you in the big chair and weirdly i'd like to see you do it in one of greg's

suits yes yeah i'd happily i'd happily be the taskmaster i think you'd be one of the best choices out of uh out of previous contestants i'm saying that. I'm over the moon with that. Greg's also let us know on this podcast before that he will have to die before anyone else is the taskmaster. That could happen. That could happen. That might happen. I'm not saying anything more. now Kerry at the end of the Taskmaster podcast we like to ask our guests to rate their experience

on the podcast between one and five points uh now I'm not going to tell you what the average score is I just want about how they feel about it but how you feel about the experience of being on the podcast and how much you've enjoyed it or how much you feel like you've got out of it this oh five yes good thank you five out of five all the way well thank you very much i will take that five points gladly uh and i will see you in the studio for champion of Champions. It's on, bosh. There we go. A great episode with Kerry there. We will, of course, talk to Kerry again,

probably when we come around to chatting about Series 7, I'd imagine, if she would like to come back on. I think she had a nice time. She rated it highly. But don't forget next week taskmaster series 11 starts and we'll be talking about that 18th of march 9 p.m on channel 4 straight after pop back listen to the podcast episode with a special guest we'll be chatting all about that episode i believe the opening guest we have is richard herring champion of series 10 we thought

that was a good way to kick things off. And also, Richard loves talking about Taskmaster. He just loves talking, doesn't he? So come back here on March 18th to listen to that. Go and listen to the next episode of this podcast, which actually is talking about Series 2, Episode 5. It's out now with Richard Osman.

But for now, we will see you again well, immediately if you can listen to the next one. see you in a bit bye it's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats. But iced tea, ice cream, or just plain old ice?

Yes, we deliver those. Goal tenders, no. But chicken tenders, yes. Because those are groceries, and we deliver those, too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol, and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details.