Taskmaster The Podcast - Ep 23. Richard Osman - S2 Ep.5

Episode Date: March 11, 2021

This week on the podcast Ed is joined by TV Host Richard Osman to conclude the look back at Series 2. The pair discuss memorabilia, the shopping trolley task, 28 Days Tater and why saving Patatas was one of Richard's least favourite tasks. Taskmaster returns to Channel 4 on March 18th at 9pm. The Podcast will be released each week at 10pm after the show. Get in touch with Ed and future guests:[e-mail] Visit the Taskmaster Youtube channelwww.youtube.com/taskmaster For all your Taskmaster goodies visit www.taskmasterstore.com  Sales, advertising and general enquiries:[e-mail] the podcast is produced by Daisy Knight for Avalon Television Ltd Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Product availability may vary by region. See app for details. Hello and welcome to the Taskmaster podcast episode million. I don't know what episode it is, but we're talking about series two, episode five of Taskmaster. Hopefully you have watched that episode recently and you're watching along, so you've refreshed your memory because we will be going through it with a fine tooth comb and if you've watched all of the episode with a beady eye then it's the best way of enjoying this podcast and our special guest this week to chat about it is Richard Osman of course he's been on the podcast before we had him on talking about series 10 but now we are talking to him about his series series 2 uh it's the final episode of series 2 only five episodes in series 2

um but what a series it is they're all quality there's classic tasks in there i very much enjoyed talking about it and going back over it and hopefully richard will enjoy it as well next week we start talking about series 11 we are pausing the old episode of redos and we are concentrating on series 11 18th of March 9 p.m channel 4 Taskmaster series 11 straight after the main show has been on come back here and listen to the podcast about it first episode with Richard Herring next week on the 18th of March. And I should say before we start, Richard Osman's sound was awful for this episode.

Have absolutely no idea why. The last time we were with him, it was fine. This time, something went wrong and we only realised afterwards. So apologies for that in advance. Richard only has one laptop. It's on the set of Pointless and he's not allowed to take it home. so he has recorded this episode through a tin can with a bit of string on it. Thank you very much, enjoy the podcast all the same. Welcome back Richard Osman to the Taskmaster podcast.

Oh thank you, it's a pleasure to return. You are, apart from Alex Horne, of course, who doesn't count, you are our first returning guest to the podcast. No way. How does that feel? Well, it's interesting to see if anyone else chooses to return. It's certainly, listen, it'll be a reflection on your skills. How many people say, oh my God, I would love to come back.

Yeah, that's true. I'm talking to Ed, he's such an interesting interviewer. You know what he got stuff out of me that no other interviewer has ever done? He's like a kind of millennial Piers Morgan. That's very much how I'm moulding myself. That's the eventual aim in my career, to be a millennial Piers Morgan, but specifically within the topic of Taskmaster. I mean, listen, perfect, because it's going to run and run and run, isn't it?

So you've got a lifetime ahead of you. Exactly. I worked out the other day that I think I'd seen all of the episodes twice anyway, and now I'm watching them again. So it's three times through. So that's got to be up there with the biggest Taskmaster fans in the country. And bearing in mind I've been on it,

that's a pretty pathetic stat. Well, I don't know because it's always on, isn't it? If ever you turn on Dave, it's always on. So I must have seen a lot of them. You know, if ever it's on, I'll watch it

unless it's my series, in which case I won't. Ah, so is that normally you'll turn off if you're on it, right? Oh, if there's like a castmaster or a Would I Lie To You or something on Dave

at like 11.30, just a God love me or just a bit of, you know. And I go, oh, I settle back. And then it goes, also joining David's team is Richard Osman. I'm like, oh, come on.

Now I've got to watch Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares instead. So I love watching it, but just not my bits. Well, we've made you do that today. Unfortunately, we've made you watch the final episode of series two, which you are very much in. Yes. Do you remember being, were you nervous going watch the final episode of series two, which you are very much in.

Yes. Do you remember being, were you nervous going into the final? Was there that adrenaline? Were you excited that you might win something? I wasn't nervous. I'm going to be honest with you. No, please be. A lot of the nerves in Taskmaster are sort of front-loaded.

And, you know, it was, i'm nervous every time i was in that studio because as soon as they say what the task is because when you go into the studio to record it you don't know which tasks you're going to be watching yeah and the second they say certain tasks you remember how badly you did on them and then you just think, I've got to watch myself, like 30 foot tall, which is 8% taller than I actually am, on a big screen, like really failing, like in an embarrassing way. And so I was always nervous. I'm not as nervous as John Richards, who would walk out at times. But yeah, in terms of the competitiveness,

it wasn't like watching Fulham play Liverpool yesterday. Which was a football game. Correct. Fulham. That's the one. I spot the Fulham. The Fulham, yes. I used to live near the ground.

So there you go. That's my football fact. Wow. All right, Greavesy. I don't understand that. So Doc, we had Doc on a couple of weeks ago and he he has he's blanked the entire series uh from his memory um he had it's almost it was like speaking someone who'd been in a war he just like had to blank it out when we when we brought it up again started sweating he was having these horrible flashbacks. Presumably he was a medic in that war. Yes, exactly.

Good old Doc Brown. And Joe is often asked about the potato throw. I think still to this day, even though it's years later, is still asked about the potato throw, including by me. Shut up about it. Do you have any lasting memories from the series?

If someone says to you, Taskmaster Series 2, what sticks out? What sticks out in your memory file? Well, that was brilliant joe uh joe and the potato um i loved on the episode i watched last night uh i like the group tasks very much but it's um uh i think that uh gosh the whole thing is quite traumatic uh if I'm honest. If I think of what stands out for me, it's being in a civic building, some waiting room for like 45 minutes, where Andy Devonshire,

as you know, is one of the producers, saying, oh, just sit out there, we're just setting something up here. I'm thinking, oh, what am I doing? I used to be a TV producer. I'm sitting in the waiting room in some some civic building and then the door opens. There's a massive room about 40 feet away of someone in male robes. And, you know, going and getting the task from him

and saying, impress the mayor of Cobham, you have 30 minutes. And you just think, oh, really? It's come to this? Yeah. It was so... But you did great in that task, oh, really, it's come to this? Yeah. It was so... But you did great in that task, though, I thought. I thought you were on a really good wavelength with that mayor.

I think I said it on the episode where we talked about it, but I feel like you've entertained a mayor before. Well, listen, I certainly felt I could speak to the guy. I like to think, Ed, you can put me in a room with almost anyone and I'll find common ground. Yeah. Whether they be a teenage heavy metal fan like yourself

or the mayor of Cobham, like I think Peter was his name. I forget his surname. Forgive me. I believe it was. I believe he was the mayor of Amersham as well. Oh, Chesham and Amersham. Or Chesham.

He's done well for himself, hasn't he? Yeah, Chesham and... Well, it Or Chesham. He's done well for himself, hasn't he? Yeah, Chesham and, well, it wasn't Cobham, I know that much. Oh, Chesham, I think you're right. You know Cobham. Of course it wasn't Cobham.

Chesham. Maybe I was wrong as well. Well, there we go. I love the fact I can literally remember his name, but I can't remember the town I was in. um so let's i mean let's crack on with with this episode uh so the final prize task of the series is best piece of memorabilia and you know? I think some people played pretty fast and loose

with the definition of memorabilia in this. I agree. It was more sort of, more kind of antiques. Yeah. A suffragette badge for all. It's a wonderful thing. Yeah. It wasn't something that Catherine had,

she hadn't been to a suffragette gig and picked it up on a merch stall afterwards. Got it signed by emeline punkhurst no yeah and john's was like a roman coin and that's not memorable that's not he wasn't at the amphitheater and you know some people were throwing coins at one of the gladiators they didn't like and he picked one up exactly you know that's yeah i i agree 100 there was just stuff from bargain hand yeah is it there were there were antiques that i for me yeah memorabilia you it has to be a reminder for you for an event you were at or something that

you that is close close to your heart and it's it's normally popular culture i associate memorabilia with popular culture which is why i think yours did get the five points and i said i think it was it was the best one the signed jockey wilson poster and there's a the five points. And I think it was the best one, the signed Jockey Wilson poster. It was a rare five points from the Enterprise in the prize toss, which was nice. You know what? I sort of knew. Sometimes on that show, you know.

When you know, you know, right? Yeah. And I knew it was Greg. And I knew it was Jockey. And I knew it was a good-looking bit. And it fitted the brief in the way that a Suffragette medal didn't. So I was really confident,

even when the Suffragette thing got pulled out, I thought, I know where Greg's going on this one. I really, I think he, I think you picked the right thing. So I think he sees darts players as heroes because they're at the top of their game, but they're in dangerous shape, which I think is something he is also.

Yeah, he absolutely is also yeah he absolutely uh yeah is um listen they hear when greg and i both played in the celebrity dance tournament at um lakeside and it's the only time i've been genuinely drunk on television i mean crazily so before our semi-final me and i was playing lemac in the semi-final and my partner was dita heaven the woman's world number one. And she just said that you've got to drink as much as possible. So we drank five pints before the game. She said, you've got to stop your brain talking to your hand. That's the key. Oh, that's interesting.

Dita, but I've seen video back of me and Lee being interviewed by Gabby Logan on this. We are both hammered. Dita standing behind me, she had drunk, I think, about 10 or 11 pints. Honestly, she could have driven. She was absolutely, you would not have known

she had touched a drop of alcohol. It's extraordinary how much they drink. We've talked briefly about the Suffragette medal. Wonderful thing, but the same problem as John's Roman coin. If it was best antique or best yeah you know best coin from history i think you know i think they

definitely should have been up there coolest thing even coolest thing for sure they're both they're both cool things because i think catherine was you know the suffragette medal is a great thing and obviously greg made reference to the fact that he should have put it top because of what it represents. But, you know, he cares too much about the game and the specific category. And yours should have beaten Catherine's there. What I quite enjoyed was the potted history of the Suffragette medal, immediately followed by Doc Brown introducing his prize by saying he was

trying to have relations with my lean class. I mean, how far we've come. Yeah. It's been a bit bad for Doc. I thought that was quite a good bit of memorabilia, really. Signed by Mylene Klass, and a bit of a personal story behind it, nicely framed. Yeah.

Unique as well. I don't think there's many raps out there that have been laid out in meter by a classical pianist. Exactly right. But you listen, mine in class is many things, but she is not Jackie Wilson. No.

No. You know, she's really not. God bless her. No, she would, I mean, when she sits down at the piano,

yes, she's had six or seven points. To stop the brain talking to the fingers. To stop the brain talking to the fingers. To stop the brain talking to the fingers. I mean, some of our last records are an absolute mess.

I know, but listen, it's kind of, it's experimental. Yeah. Finally, Joe's prize, which came bottom, a map of the Grand Union Canal signed by the lot keeper

Clive Hutt. Liked it very much. I loved it. I really did like it. I thought that was terrific. That's memorabilia, but it's like Joe Wilkinson-style memorabilia. Exactly.

He hasn't gone to a Justin Bieber concert. He's gone to a Lockkeeper's Hutt. No, I thought it was great. I didn't say, how would you describe him in three words? He just said asthmatic. Asthmatic. The full three words being asthmatic Clive Hutt.

Joe just gives and gives on this series of... He really, really does. I wrote down that I think he's one of the only Taskmaster contestants ever whose prize tasks have been so consistently in persona at the cost of points. Yes. That's so admirable, isn't it? He's always Joe Wil wilkinson he's

never trying to get points he's just always trying to be himself which i love knowing joe a little bit from uh outside the studio it's quite hard to see where his persona ends and and he begins yeah isn't it it's it's a sliding scale isn't it? Yeah. He finds it very easy to access. Just in the opening credits, I assume it's in an earlier one of the episodes, he's got quite short hair, Joe. Just thought I've ever seen it. It looks like a businessman.

Yeah, he looks like a businessman who's lost his job maybe two weeks ago and he's still going out and he's told his wife that he's going to work but he's just going to sit on a bench and feeding the pigeons. Yeah, exactly. He's putting his suit in a lock in a left luggage locker at phoenix railway

station and then he's going to greg's for a coffee and a sausage roll i don't think it deserved one point i would have given that three at least i think greg was put in a very difficult position with the suffragette thing yeah yeah he as an adult because he wasn't able to say that's not memorabilia. Yeah. And do you know who would agree with me? Emmeline Pankhurst.

If she were... She would. She probably is watching over us now. Yeah. She loves Taskmaster. She loves Taskmaster. She would say

absolutely brilliant prize, Catherine, but probably the wrong category. Yeah. So it was one point for Joe, two points for Doc, three points for John, four points for Catherine, but probably the wrong category. Yeah. So it was one point for Joe, two points for Doc, three points for John, four points for Catherine, and the big five for you, Richard. In second place, incredible though it may seem,

I'm putting the incredibly worthy Suffragette coin, which may be crushing it at number one, is the signed Jocky Wilson poster. Task one. This is a classic. Get all of this shopping into the shopping trolley. Fastest wins. Your time starts now.

Yeah. Do you have good memories of this? Because everyone seemed to have a little panic during this. I really enjoyed it. I do have good memories of it because we had a little day out. Again, that was... I was going to say cobblin but i suspect it was chisholm yes and i mentioned so uh around the back of the sainsbury's uh in there just it's just a little local color for you there yeah that's where they got the trolley from look very bucolic and

beautiful but actually if you go like five yards either side there's an industrial estate but it was lovely yeah i really enjoyed it that's the one i think we may have spoken about it before but it's i try to be a smartass by yeah doing something before you know that thing of when they say your time starts now when you read something and i saw that there was an airbed there and a pump and i thought well if this task involves blowing up the airbed then I'm going to save myself a good three or four minutes by doing that before I open the task of course the task didn't involve that nothing to do with it sometimes it's better to be prepared right it is and if that had paid off you would have looked amazing oh it would I mean literally that would have I mean I would have I don't know what would have happened I mean, literally, that would have... I mean, I don't know what would have happened. I mean, honestly, even to this day,

I suspect the title of my autobiography would have been I pre-blow up the airbed. Snappy title. Not bad, is it? Now, Doc had particularly bad memories of this task as well. This is one that stuck in his mind because, course he he really tried to uh he really tried to do the task but didn't notice two bridges yes but it's interesting that because even if he did notice the bridges it was a really really shallow stream and so you were about eight feet you're about eight feet away from the

shopping trolley or you're about 200 feet away from the shopping trolley or you're about 200 meters away from it if you go over the bridge yeah so the bridge is a moot anyway i guess someone like john is worried that he's not going to be able to make the leap out of the other side of the canal but do you know what i thought the task was going to be what you know that what would you call it it's like a riddle when you've got the fox, the chicken. And the grain. And the eggs and the grain. Yeah.

And you've got to get them across. I thought it was going to be that. And it's going to be some smart-ass Alex Horne thing of saying, of course, the airbed can't sit with a frozen chicken. And the frozen chicken can't sit with a sponge because of their natural enemies. Oh, here we go. So that's what I thought I was going to be doing.

You say that. You mock Alex for that sort of thing. But you love you love that sort of thing richard you would have loved to have solved something like that i absolutely love the guy as you know he's one of the few geniuses in television in my opinion yeah but um yeah i'm that honestly that's quite that's the watchman taskmaster you're thinking, I wonder if this could be one of those tasks where you can do it in three seconds. Yeah. Because it's always my favorite tasks. Yeah.

And if it had been that, I would have felt under pressure to solve that in real time, I suspect. It would have been like the countdown conundrum for me for over sort of 20 minutes of thinking hold on so if i take the sponges over on the airbed yeah leave the airbed over there walk back on the sponges collect the you know and it would have uh so i was glad i literally just had to walk across and um yeah some some of the tasks you've just got to do right you've just got to get them done yeah exactly like like the um when i had to when there was an egg and said eat this egg as quickly as possible yeah uh and yeah just sometimes sometimes you've just got to do it and because then you can go home or you can go and sit in the tiny tiny dressing room in the trance master house and do a sudoki doc didn't see the bridge and it

didn't matter anyway because uh he left a tin he left a tin in the stream, which was a disaster. Which I kind of understand that because he was throwing stuff over and you might miss a tin in the stream. I could have seen myself making that mistake. Quite how John didn't notice two giant sponges in his pockets while he walked away is beyond me. Yeah, I wonder if he has a condition maybe. sponges in his pockets while he walks away is beyond me yeah that's into that that's um yeah i wonder if he has a condition maybe with and so he's used to he's just very spongy sides spongy sides yeah spongy side condition um yeah he might have he might have sponge hip if that's the only willing to let that go if john has sponge hip so So Doc and John both disqualified spongy hips and tin in the river,

as discussed. It was three points for Catherine Ryan, doing it in two minutes 44. Four points for you, Richard, and a rare five points for Joe Wilkinson. Let's talk about Joe. Yeah, well, speedy. I mean, it's the most action we've seen him partaking. Yeah, rivers don't worry me. What worries you, Joe?

Horses and darkness. Let's talk about task two, which was a team task. It's make the best stop-motion film starring this potato. You have one hour. Your time starts now. Yeah, I loved you and John as a team. You're quite relaxed, but then also a little bit formal.

I think in this sort of task as well, especially, you click into producer mode. So it's like you're chairing the meeting. You're rolling with ideas. You're putting things out there. Nothing's wrong in a blue sky. You were just getting the ideas out there. Yeah, that's the thing I enjoy.

And obviously I love John. I've worked with him lots. And so, and anything that starts with, you've got to come up with a pun because the second you've got a title for a television show, you're sort of laughing. And the pun you went with was 28 Days Tater, which may I say was absolutely brilliant. I was a huge with was 28 Days Tater, which, may I say, was absolutely brilliant.

I was a huge fan of 28 Days Tater because, of course, it was a zombie film you made with the potato. 28 Days later, a zombie film made perfect sense. I didn't... Now, Spectator, was that a Bond pun? I don't really know much about Bond. Oh, I don't even remember what it was. It literally just slipped off my mind like ice off a plate.

I mean, there was nothing there, was there? I really liked both of the films. What I would say about yours, I don't know if this is going to be controversial, Richard, because I feel like they should have got the three points and you guys should have got the two points. Well, Ed, I'm so sorry. That's the door.

I really sort of feel like I've been supportive in your career up to now. I really do. I don't know what else there is you've wanted me to do, but you should have just rung an R. Okay. I think it's stop motion with the potato. There wasn't enough of the potato in yours.

There was so much stop motion of Alex, who is a man. He's animated anyway. I feel like there should have been way more potato. And as Doc Brown said about theirs, and I agree with him, the animation on theirs was crazy smooth. I'll tell you what,

Ed, here's a thought for you. Okay. Maybe even a documentary for ITV2. Why don't you marry Doc Brown? How about that? Why don't you marry Doc Brown? How about that? Why don't you and Doc Brown just get married, set up home together, live a happy life? No, I think that's nonsense.

I've filmed Star of the Potato, you know, in Wallace and Gromit. I mean, Wallace's name is in the title. He's not in it a huge amount. Yeah, sure. It's very Gromit-based. But Wallace is also... When you see Wallace,

he's an animated plaster scene model. You don't see... Nick Park's not animated himself because there's no point because you gave Alex so much screen time. It's essentially just like

a compilation. It's like a photo album of Alex and that's not impressive whereas they were mainly potato-based. I think if you watched it back with a stopwatch you'd find you're incorrect

I think your memory is playing tricks on you I would say this what was the read out the task again Eddie have you got it in front of you make the best

stop motion film starring this potato you have one hour your time starts now yeah so it wasn't make the best stop motion film

that is entirely about this potato. Don't use your imagination. Don't bring other elements of the world into it, for goodness sake. It can only be about this potato, nothing else. What about the other little potatoes at the end, which is a really nice touch?

Oh, no, no, no. No, it was a nice touch. Yeah, but those weren't the potatoes. Those are different potatoes. That's not the task. The task is about this one specific potato that's got to be on screen the entire time.

All I'm saying is, if it was up for the Oscars, I think you could nominate Alex for Best Performance, Best Lead Performance. Oh, you're so wrong. Best Supporting Role. But I think you could also nominate the potato for Best Lead Performance.

Yes, of course you would. Look, story-wise, I think you could also nominate the potato for best lead performance, but. Yes, of course you would. Look, story-wise, I think yours was, yours was the best. Now listen, Alex is the character actor who you know is going to die.

He's not the star of that, the hero of that. What's the first, the very first shot of that film? It's winter and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost almost anything. So no, you can't get snowballs on Uber Eats. But meatballs, mozzarella balls, and arancini balls? Yes, we deliver those.

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we work together to create positive change for a better tomorrow. Join us at yorku.ca slash write the future. It's the potato coming out of the grave, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then for quite a long time, walking towards the house and then knocking it, you know. But then we got so much of Alex, like, looking and peeling

and all of that, and it's just not impressive animation because, you know, you've animated a man who was already animated. If anything, you made him less animated. So, so. But you know, as well as I do, that the post-production on these things is dealt with by the Taskmaster crew.

So we shot it, we wrote it and shot it. The Taskmaster crew then put it together. So someone in an edit house somewhere in Soho is thinking, should we put a bit more of Alex in this or a bit less? And you know Alex's temper as well as I do. So Andy Cartwright, Andy Devonshire, the rest of the gang are thinking, if Alex isn't in this like a lot, he is going to go absolutely crazy.

That's true, yeah. We're going to have him on the phone screaming at us. So let me put a bit more Alex in. I would have had a bit less of him in. I agree with you. But the film is about a potato. It starts with a potato. The potato kills the antagonist.

The potato is the protagonist. Alex is the antagonist. I think your story was better I think their animation was better because also at the beginning of your film there's a lot of human hands yeah but again that's them editing ours was so good and so slick they knew they had to put a few things in to make it obvious what had happened. Ah, because are you worried that if they'd taken all the human hands out, people would have genuinely worried that the potato had come to life?

Yeah, a lot of people did. A lot of people on the street even now say, whatever happened with that potato, I'm still worried about the potato thing. And I always say to them, do you know what? I get this a lot. It was pitch knock.

We made it up and you could see the relief on their face. They're like, oh, that is... So I think a lot of people, like when Awesome Worlds did War of the Worlds on the radio,

a lot of people to this day are not buying potatoes. A, because of the starch and B, because they're worried about the price of the world. So look, you got the three points. All that aside, history has look you got the you got the three points

all that aside history has proved you right you got the three points even though there are a lot of hands in it and it mainly starred a man and you say man

oh yeah Spectator look the story didn't really make sense I didn't understand the heel crushing the potato at the end

they panicked storyline wise which probably cost cost them the points I think a pun title of like a scary film stand the heel crushing the potato at the end of it. They panicked storyline-wise. Yeah. Which probably cost them the points. I think a pun title would make it scary. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so what's Bigfoot hateful potato? Night of the living spot. Mash in the attic.

Task three, we're back to bridges and rivers. Make a bridge over the river using only the items on this table. Highest self-supporting bridge wins the bridge alone must support the potato you must not touch the taskmaster's house you have 20 minutes your time starts now yeah it's a tricksy on this because of course the big secret sneaky reveal was that there is quite a lot of building materials taped to the underside of the table and there were clues dotted around that nobody spotted yeah it's one of those the jokes on you uh tasks that one and yeah you say there are clues it's written in spanish on a boat

and then it's in two places you You'd never look. Yeah, absolutely. If Sherlock Holmes was on Taskmaster 12, even he might've gone, Oh, I should. Yes, actually I should have looked at the table. But this is,

this is escape room rules. So I do a lot of escape rooms and the rule, the rule really is search everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it was absolutely absolutely right and obviously i was gutted for the producers because what you really want is for four people not to spot it

but for one person to spot it that's what uh that's what you want and they can't really do that sort of stuff so much anymore can they because now everyone's looking for yeah oh where have you hidden something or what's the trick but those more innocent days it was a series two. Didn't think you were being tricked. I didn't think Alex Horn was trying to trick me. You know, I thought he'd just been a decent fellow human being. But yeah, I'm not a practical man.

I'm not a builder or maker. So I tried to make the best out of the bad deal there. Neither am I. And I think, as I follow escape room rules, I think I would have been in a situation where I found those materials and still lost because I wouldn't have known what to do with them well I think I would have just put them all in a pile

because I was thinking exactly that when I was watching the event and I was thinking what would you have built and I thought yeah there's enough I'd just put plunks of wood on top of each other and think no one no one's going to beat that or maybe two uprights and I thought, yeah, there's enough. I just put plunks of wood on top of each other and think no one's going to beat that or maybe two uprights. I mean, who knows?

Yeah, it wasn't the magic bullet, was it? It wasn't the thing that immediately made you win the task. You'd still have to have some building now. I think, honestly, I think you just, a few bits of wood would have probably, I think you'd have beaten whatever won it. The more I watch Taskmaster now, I quite often think they'll have

quite a complicated task with quite complicated rules. And I think if I'd known back then that a couple of people are definitely going to get disqualified here because they'll trip up the rules. So literally, I'd have to do anything. I'd literally have to do the most standard

job possible, as quickly as possible, and take my three points, tuck them in my pocket and move on to the next round. The Richard Herring method, just absolutely play it with a straight bat and you're pretty much guaranteed a victory. And he knew what he was doing, that guy. He's a champion, you know?

Yeah. There's a reason champions are champions. It's not an accident. Catherine, of course, I think had a good technique um I was very impressed by the triangles that she made with the straws and the rubber bands I think it was a really good idea but it just it didn't work she only got one millimeter but that's the thing in it it's 20 minutes and hers was the best looking by a million miles but that's the tactic sometimes you think someone

either by being terrible or they're being great and they're not quite working it's going to get zero points so i did feel fair i think maybe if there were ever points for effort which of course is completely against the um uh the ethos of the show yeah and uh she would have got something so i literally just put everything on the table on top of each other yeah that's pretty much all i did proper bunch of job it was it was you know i've had workmen i've had like plumbers come around to my house who are like you just like right i'll get this done and then you find out they've just used spaghetti in the straws but my view of it was this isn't a real bridge the potato doesn't really need to get from that side of this there's no lasting consequences ah can we do if you'd said to me this bridge is going to be used by school children

for the next 15 years I would have gone maybe I won't just dump everything on top of each other honestly perhaps I was too flippant Ed but I felt maybe the jeopardy wasn't there I feel like if you're using the basis of how you approach tasks as it having real

life long lasting consequences Taskmaster perhaps not the show for you and yet here I am six years later still talking about it still talking about it yeah because you tried using the spaghetti then you ended up using straws cards elastic bands you just all bodged it together with the with the hiding the the stuff yeah did you respect Alex for doing that or did you hate him no I respect him for doing that you know I think it's honestly with my tv producers head on I think I suppose the Spanish is quite a good clue but just one extra clue I kind of think of another task we did that was similar where something was hidden uh but it was hidden in a in

a in a in a slightly more oh i can't believe i didn't see it way but either way i thought listen it's a lovely task and it's funny and it was series two so they haven't really done that sort of thing before he did it to us he did it to us in our series as well uh there was a task where there were loads of um items suspended from the ceiling um and we had to get to the caravan within a minute and obviously me and rose ran straight to the caravan because we wanted to do the task on the sheet but obviously what we should have done is memorized everything because then alex asked for a list of the items all of the items were um written on the task but in tiny letters

and there was a magnifying glass next to us so we could have we could have just looked and read out the list of items which was very frustrating but there was a magnifying glass next to it so we could have just looked and read out the list of items which was very frustrating. But there was no clue to suggest it was there. They're so clever, aren't they? So in that task Catherine came bottom, of course. It was two points

for you, Richard. Three points for Joe Wilkinson. It was a good episode for Joe, even though it was one point in the prize task. For Joe, it's a good episode. Four points for Doc Brown and five points for Joe Wilkinson. Good episode for Joe, even though it was one point in the prize task. For Joe, it's a good episode. Four points for Doc Brown and five points for John Richardson's. Absolutely. Good bridge.

I mean, I've never heard a studio of people applaud for someone putting matchsticks into a potato before, but that's Taskmaster. That was very good though, wasn't it? I mean, that's an extra, what's that? An inch and a bit on a matchstick. I don't know if, for me,

it didn't count as part of the bridge because he was piercing the potato with the matchstick. So what he's doing there is augmenting the potato. You are absolutely right there because that's not, we can't all, listen, is there any way we can get the production team on the phone and to retrospectively, you know when people get done with doping,

suddenly the Tour de France doesn't have a winner for 15 years. I wonder if we could get a point to, if not done, which would add a point to me and Joe. Yeah. Yeah, that's really true. I hadn't thought of that.

I wish I thought of that at the time. He's giving the potato legs. It feels like it's too late now. Do you think? Maybe in the next studio shows of the next series, if you just storm in and go, right, now we're here on Taskmaster Grounds, I've got some

things to say. The only skill I had coming into this was that I can speak a bit of Spanish. And I translated it in my head and thought, no, it's just a boat called under the table. The final studio task, which started off as put on a pair of food handling gloves,

eat a whole banana, correctly put on a tie and clap as many times as possible. In 100 seconds, most claps wins. It was changed because I think Catherine, you know, look, it all comes back round. Catherine followed in the footsteps of the suffragette movement and made her voice heard and correctly made the point that it was weighted towards the men because of the tie putting on.

So it was changed to eat a whole banana correctly and put on a tie. Yeah. Which I thought was great. I thought it was good that it showed that people could roll with it and that taskmasters were willing to change their mistakes. Exactly. They knew that they'd made a terrible blunder

in a lot of them. It would be a career ending blunder if I hadn't moved that comma. What I'm saying is I saved a lot of careers that day. Yeah. But she was absolutely right. Yes, she was. But they don't have ties now either, do they, really?

No, I wouldn't have been able to do it. I would have been much happier with the banana situation. We can eat bananas. Here's something, Richard. Eat the banana correctly. Yeah. Technically, I don't know if you've heard this about bananas. You ate the banana incorrectly because you peeled,

I suppose you ate the banana correctly, but you peeled the banana. I opened it incorrectly. You opened it incorrectly because you went from the stalk, whereas that's supposed to be the handle and you're supposed to open it from the bottom. I know, that's extraordinary, isn't it? I don't know where you get the purchase to open it from, well, the top, right? The bit without the stalk. But yeah, I read that and i've never

i haven't got on board with it i'm going to admit i still open from the stalk because it feels like it's got a fulcrum it's got a pivot yeah i agree i think i still open from the stalk but i suppose that's something you could have argued in the studio if anyone had said you opened the banana incorrectly you still ate it correctly i don't know how you would eat a banana incorrectly yes uh listen there was that was that was a sticking plaster that's for sure to cover up the terrible error that alex had made you know so listen i absolutely did my best uh but it's yeah it would have been interesting to see someone eat the banana incorrectly i guess you could i guess you could shove it up your jacksie yeah i think that's that's the only thing i was thinking that

someone could have got mixed up and popped the banana up their arse. And you know what, Ed? If that is incorrect, I don't want to be correct. I suppose Joe didn't eat the banana correctly, in that he didn't eat the banana, so he was disqualified. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Was he actually allergic to bananas? Is that why he didn't eat it?

Yeah. Yeah, I don't think he's allergic like he would die but i think but he said look i'm allergic in terms of like some sort of rash or something you know yeah they didn't agree with him yes i suppose he never complains joe well i suppose there was no way of him winning the series at that point so there was no point him giving himself a bad tummy or a rash for the sake of that yes that was like there was one prize task yeah so he could just give up there's one price task which was i'm doing a roll of sellotape as quickly as you did yeah uh and i had trouble at the beginning of it but i just couldn't get that thing done and everyone was

so far ahead i just thought there is no point in knocking myself out here so i just stopped not gonna lose dignity for the sake of that well it's just a little bit less effort in it, you never know when you've got to keep something in the tank yes, exactly so the results for that studio task disqualified, Joe was disqualified

for not eating the banana because he was allergic 192 claps for John Richardson it was 221 claps, so three points for Catherine. 237 claps for Doc Brown, four points. And you, Richard, 249 claps, five points. Hold on, I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I'm going to read all the words here.

I'm going to move one comma and we'll see if we can sort this out. Let's go. OK. Put on a pair of food handling gloves, eat a whole banana correctly, put on a tie... ..and clap as many times as possible. Done. Surely. I feel now that I've ruined the task.

No, no, no, no. Not at all. Now we see the trouble that coin has got us into, don't we? So, you won the episode with 19 points, a lovely way to round off the series. It was 11 points for Joe. He still came bottom despite having one of his best episodes. Got round 12 points and 13 points both for Catherine and John.

So it was the last one in the series. Catherine, crowned Taskmaster Champion with 94 points, closely followed by John and then you in third Richard and then Doc and then Joe. How far behind John was I? How many points? You were

four points behind John and he was four points behind Catherine Even if he'd lost a point for the match sticks and the potato, we'd still be having the same conversation. So I just can't let it go. In my mind, he should have been disqualified from the bridge task. Interesting.

Interesting. So then you would have been second. I don't think it's worthy of disqualification. I think you just have to measure the bridge up to... And I think now the potato's got legs and that's okay a potato can have legs that's not crazy

so it would have maybe taken four centimetres off which would have bumped you up higher yeah and he would have gone down

so I'd have gained a point he'd have lost a point so it was I think a deserved series victory for Catherine I thought she was she had some

moments of flair but also very consistent. Solid as a rock. Which is what you want from a champ. We have, of course, some emails for you, Richard. Some people who wanted some things cleared up that we didn't

talk about on your first episode. Here we go. This is from Nathan in Massachusetts. One of our international listeners um dear ed love taskmaster loving the podcast if you have richard osmond back as a guest i have a question for him for the task of buying the taskmaster a gift did you richard have a backup plan in case your rash bets on darts didn't come off of course this was one of your other darts based uh price task where you spent 20 pounds on a on a gift uh of betting and i think won 150 pounds and then gave that to charity

in a in a particularly uh dead-eyed attempt to exploit uh greg's heart well and also you know you know in a dead-eyed attempt attempt to save the lives of some children I don't believe that for one second Richard well listen I think my backup task was just to tell them I'd lost the whole money but to show them what would

have happened and I would have I don't know or maybe just done some more bets until I did win I guess and bankrupted yourself that would have been quite the You know, so it's, I don't know, or maybe just done some more bets until I did win. Yes, and bankrupted yourself. That would have been quite the prize task of your bank account being overdrawn. I literally got no money. Happy birthday, Greg.

I'm not sure if you'd lost the money and not given it to charity, would you have got the charity to make a video saying, we're no better off than we were originally that's a that's a charity i've worked with for years and years and years and so we're we're very pally so i think i would have got them to do a thing saying we're really sorry richard lost the thoughts but uh you know if there's any way great you can send us 20 quid yeah here's what the money would have got us.

But unfortunately, we can't now, because the darts didn't turn out as Richard hoped. Because Rich is an absolute imbecile. This is from Tom in Stratford-on-Avon. Hello, Ed, I have a question for Rich Dosman, if you have him as a guest again on the podcast. Well, we do, so here it is. What was the story behind Richard making an appearance in series seven for james

a cast the task of delivering the task to alex oh of course you how long have you got this is an amazing story oh my god wait let's let's settle back ed okay all right podcast this is it's a cup of tea whiskey chaser uh i was sitting at home so wednesday afternoon let's say your phone goes i got a message james acaster can you help me with a task to task myself i said yes i went down there 10 minutes later i did what he asked me to do and then i went home it was i mean can you believe that amazing amazing you I think Jamie knew that I lived nearby. Yeah. And so that's always, because I live nearby.

Al Murray, I think, lives quite nearby as well, doesn't he? Yes. He's always popping up. And so, yeah, this is the truth of it. I adored being part of that Taskmaster family. I still do. It was such a joyous thing to do. I mean, listen, there's lots of it that I found really difficult. But I'm so happy I did it anytime anyone from Taskmaster asked me to do anything I am absolutely ready for action

because it was such a joyous thing and even to this day so many people stop me and say how much they love Taskmaster I mean it just is sort of non-stop so to get a message saying do you want to be part of a task I mean I would adopt anything of course I you want to be part of a task? I mean, I would adopt anything. Of course, I'd love to be part of a task. Well, there we go. I remember that for Champion of Champions. I'm going to get you, Alma. A humble brag? Yeah, well, I think if people listen to this podcast,

they know that I humble brag all the time, slash brag. If you need any local knowledge at all, you just send me a little text because it's all my peeps. I know the cabbies, I know the takeaways, all of that. Yeah, if the task is deliver a takeaway

as far as you can away from the Taskmaster house, I'm sorted, aren't I? Oh my God, yeah. It'd be, literally, I could get one of my boys to take it out to Heathrow. We know Taskmaster's really

sort of really fallen off in quality if the task is get a Chinese takeaway to Heathrow. Get a Chinese takeaway to China? Oh, that's great. Now you're talking. Do you have to quarantine a takeaway? Yeah. Keep it in a hotel for two weeks?

14 days, yeah. And then it has to have an anal swab. Dear Ed, my question for Richard is, which task did you enjoy the least? Saving the cat, getting the shopping in the trolley, or impressing the mayor? All the best, Caroline in Rochester, Minnesota. I think I might know the answer to this, Richard.

Oh, yeah. Well, I liked two of those tasks. I liked the trolley one because it was fun to throw the trolley. Yeah. Even though it was heavier than one because it was fun to throw the trolley. Yeah. Even though it was heavier than I thought it was going to be. And I liked impressing the mayor

to be honest. I didn't like the first bit. Yeah, I didn't like the tree. They kept getting the cat from a tree. No. There's a moment in every series,

my favourite moment in every series where you see even the most mild mannered contestants slightly lose their temper. Yeah. Even Joe.

And that was mine that was where i was just like mate because i listen i'm very i can't really see very much and they were incredibly um accommodating with that all the way through the i mean was not an issue but that was one where i was just saying that i can't even i have no idea where it is. Can't even see the cat. I don't even know where it is. I don't really want to be gaffer taping pool keys together to pod something. So I was like, and it was the end of a long day. Yeah, I can honestly say I didn't enjoy it. Richard, thank you so much for coming back on the Taskmaster podcast

and talking about one of your episodes. I know you don't enjoy watching yourself back. Look, we've got so many more episodes to come. So at some point in the later series, we'll let you come back on and you can talk about other people. Beautiful. I'd love that. Oh, just me talking about Dave Dorman for an hour. Yes, please. Of course, we get our guests to rate the Taskmaster podcast experience

out of five points. I believe last time, I think you might have given it five. We can check that. But again, feel free to speak the truth. This time, what's the point score? What's your average? It probably comes out at about 4.2 or something, because of course people now and again like to give it a low point score.

Yeah. I was going to take off a point for your stop motion. Oh, fine point. Yeah. But then your very, very thoughtful contribution to the potato on matchsticks on bridge debate has bumped it back up again so I'm going to give you another five Ed Thank you very much Richard Osman

Thank you Ed Thank you Richard our first returning guest, apart from Alex Horne, and hopefully he will come back again. I very much enjoyed chatting about Series 2 there with Richard, and I think he'll enjoy it more when we're talking about another episode that doesn't involve him, and he can relax, just make fun of everyone's choices.

That's the end of our chats about Series 2. We will, of course, be talking about Series 3, but not for a while, because now we hit pause on the old episodes and we start chatting about Series 11 that starts on the 18th of March, Channel 4, 9pm. Don't forget, it's very exciting. It's an incredible line-up.

I can't wait to talk to them about it. I can't wait to talk to everyone about it. Guys, I'm excited. I've not been out the house for months. Come back here next week and we can start. Bye-bye. It's hockey season and you can get anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. Well, almost, almost anything. So, no, you can't get an ice rink on Uber Eats.

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